#perfect gag timing chef kiss no notes

[opbackgrounds]

It's youth and inexperience that causes humiliation, eh?

[drawingducktalesducks]

You make great art!

Your opinions on Vi’s alternate designs?

I could stare at her all day. Perfection.

Design wise? Her final one is (chef's kiss) SUCH a good balance of showing and contrasting Violet’s personality.

And the alternates show why!

She’s a nerd. Shorthand for that is usually glasses, as seen in almost all her alternative designs. (Think Velma from Scooby Doo.) Not a bad trope.

But at the same time, does her character need a visual short hand for smartness?

Just the way Violet SPEAKS tells you she’s a nerd. She uses big words, and calls people by their full names. When we first meet her it’s in a LIBRARY and her and Webby instantly start switching between various ancient languages.

We don’t need glasses to know she smart and a nerd.

So unless the show is willing to commit to some moments or gags where Violet loses her glasses / takes them off specifically not to see something / cleans them regularly as a character tick (think Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Conservation of Character Design says get rid of them.

Which the show creators did.

(also her introduction scene includes Quackfaster, and I appreciate that, instead of them both wearing glasses- a thing that isn't actually about smartness literally it's just wanting to be able to see- the thing Violet shares with the Terrifying Librarian is... hair tie / hair band, including the color thereof.)

(It's a more personal choice. And it's message is "Practical")

Next is clothing style. Most of her alternates have a more fancy, ‘outfit’ kinda look to them. Like this is something she put together to get a specific Look. Nothing wrong with that. Nerds can be fashionable (Ellie Woods queen thereof).

But… there isn’t anything in Violet’s personality, story, or situation that connects to that idea.

Her things are Books, Learning, Forbidden Magics, Honorable Conduct in Contests and Duels, Adopting Stray Shadow Teens Off The Street As Her New Sister, Brining Pie To A Sleepover, Smacking Invading Moon People With A Spiked Mace, and Using Tibetan Breathing Techniques To Survive Eating Three Bowls Of Deadly Hot Spices In A Row.

The closest she gets to caring about her appearance is when her and Webby (and then her and Lena) put on gruesome costume make up and prosthetics for fun.

So a snazzy outfit, while cool, doesn’t really… jive with the vibe of Violet Sabrewing.

Nerd clothes, like a vest, isn’t needed the same reason glasses aren’t. Also the details would be a pain to draw over and over again. Even Webby’s clothes don’t have that much little bits in them.

High collars again look cool… but Lena’s already got that covered. Stand them next to each other, and where’s the contrast?

Violet wouldn’t “pop” next to Lena if they had that on top of Violet’s dark color scheme and Lena’s dark sweater.

Wearing the same thing (to show characters are connected to each other) works best when either the color or the style DOES contrast sharply

(Huey Louie Dewy and May June wearing basically the same thing as their siblings, but in very different colors)

(side note I’ll make a separate thing for someday: Lena and Webby with button down collar shirts worn under something, but with different style, effect, and colors)

The leggings are seen on two of Violets alternates and I think that got picked for Meta Simplicity and also In-Character Practicality.

They’re athletic, the kind of thing that isn’t at risk of snagging on stuff (befitting an eventual Senior Junior Woodchuck), and the dark color balances out with her hair. And they’re VERY easy to draw. Very good!

Sweater.

Sweater with turtle neck (unless it’s one of those very loose ones) usually gets used as shorthand for “Comfort over Appearance” (Velma again, contrasting Daphne)

And in this case it’s a contrast with Lena who LOOKS like she doesn’t care at first glance but actually has put maybe the most effort into her outfit (sweater stolen from favorite band, dyed her hair, wears bright colored converse in a world where most people go bare foot)

and Webby, who is wearing basically a uniform (picked by her Granny or by herself while daydreaming of experiencing Normal School Things???)

So to balance out Lena’s rebel teen punk look, and Webby’s prim and proper look, Violet has a comfort and practicality look.

BUT!

They kept the eyeshadow.

A VERY GOOD MOVE.

See, eyeshadow on someone who wears an ‘outfit’ (Lena, Daisy) says fashion minded and image conscious.

(this includes Beakly the former spy taking up the role of grandmother).

Eyeshadow on someone who wears a non-snazzy turtle neck and legging with her hair tied away from her face in a simple ponytail says something else completely-

It says, Violet likes eyeshadow, and that is the ONLY reason she wears it.

Either she doesn’t notice that it’s unusual to do this, or she doesn’t care.  

THAT is showing her personality.

If it’s that she doesn’t know it’s unusual, then that fits with her in the Woodchuck Challenge not knowing about smack talk until Lena teaches her, and in Friendship Hates Magic brining a pie to a sleepover, and in The Split Sword of Swanstantine wondering in the middle of a fight if she should change in to more occasion appropriate clothes instead of, you know, running.

Smart yes, savvy to social norms? Not so much.

If it’s that she doesn’t care, then that fits with her direct and blunt way of getting what she wants out of situations, never mind others' objections-

-Instantly running to Webby’s loft so she can see the picture of the demon lord and confirm the crookedness of his fang, repeatedly pressing for using the runes to try contacting the shadow realm despite Webby’s nervous boggle deflections, happily employing smack talk so she can learn it properly without stopping to ask what it’s effect on her competitor might be..

So the clothes of her final design all work really, REALLY well telling new parts of Violet’s personality, without just repeating what we’d instantly know from listening to her talk for half a minute.

Hair.

One of her alternates has loose floofy hair, which I imagine is what canon her would look like without the hair tie, and it rocks.

But the hair tie is kinda important.

Violet isn’t a book nerd who never leaves the library- She’s active, she gets in the thick of things, she’s happy to jump in a fight, and she’s a Junior Woodchuck. Practicality, again, makes more sense. Keeping her hair out of her face works with her character.

Her little flop of bangs is really fun to me too because… well…. It reminds me of Lena.  

Again, it’s different enough to pop while the two stand together, but it’s there. Lena has flopped bang thing. Violet has a curly bang thing. They are sisters. It’s cute!

Also helps her silhouette stand out more against Webby and Lena, who’s hair is pretty smooth and down in general. Gives her this sharp thing that moves around and makes her extra easy to pick out, even when you just see part of her head. Important for a main side-character.

If you're going to add detail, add it to the silhouette -> very big visual payoff.

Colors! COLORS!!!!

Already mentioned the pants balancing her hair nicely, dark on top, dark below, but then there’s her eyeshadow and sweater!

They ALSO tie her with Lena!!!!

Lena’s shirt, hidden under her sweater, is pale blue- the same color her friendship magic is later- it’s the color of Lena being happy and being connected to people.

And Violet’s eyeshadow, is also blue? And Lena’s eyeshadow is purple! Like Violet!

Eyeshadow! That thing both her and Lena wear, them the Sabrewing Sisters, but Webby doesn’t!

That’s so cool! That’s a way to show a connection between them AND their personal tastes, before they even become family! And once they ARE family it helps them visually LOOK like one!

Also, Violet’s green sweater?

Again we’ve got the color contrast compliment thing (huey red dewy blue louie green) this time with Team Magic: Webby pink, Lena blue, Violet green. It helps them feel… individual in scenes they’re all in frame together, while also making them look good next to each other.

The choice of all of team magic’s colors to be either more pastel or duller than the Primary Colors Trio also lets all six of them work together visually, like in Nightmare on Killmoter Hill.

But again, LENA.

Lena has two other bright colors tucked into her design, aside from her pale blue.  

The pink in her hair (visual cue to Webby) and her lime green shoes. Green. GREEN. It’s enough of an important color for it to ALSO be in her friendship bracelet.

And it’s the main color Violet, her adopted little sister, wears.

Oh my heart….

Finally, it’s looks like they tested out ideas of Violet being some kind of, parrot maybe, or wren, or such.

I love her being a humming bird for one very queer reason.

Female violet sabrewing humming birds are actually green, not purple.

And Violet.

Is purple.

Just like her dads.

(also name puns for the win yeeeeessss)

So on the whole, looking at the designs Violet could have had, I guess I’d say they’d make nice occasional outfits for her...

but if you’re going to make her an important supporting member of the cast and if you have to draw her over and over again, almost always with the same other two characters… and if those characters are Webby and Lena...

Then they picked exactly the right design to go with <3

[riizing777]

fairy ; dvwn

choi jongho drabble (f, a, s, gn reader)

jongho who loves to give you back hugs when you're cooking for him.

texts you about his day while he's at work, knowing that you like staying in the loop about his escapades with his friends.

would sing for you anytime you asked him to.

shows you off to his friends.

who doesn't really like pet names but never hesitates to call you "baby".

stays up late at night just to text you at a convenient time for you due to the time zone difference.

enjoys spending time with you.

is very mature, but also can be the most childish person ever.

is a dry texter, but is more outspoken in person.

jongho who is slightly insensitive when it comes to your feelings, despite trying so hard not to be.

jongho who's toxic trait is being too headstrong.

jongho who would argue with you one day, and not speak to you until what needed to be fixed, was fixed, or he caved.

jongho who is very realistic when it comes to his ideals.

jongho who is secretly the biggest crybaby ever.

jongho who couldn't deal with the tense silence & not talking after an argument.

who apologized immediately when he saw you.

who's favorite way to make up is make up sex.

jongho who enjoys vanilla sex, but also can get very kinky at times.

jongho who enjoys fucking you while being able to see your pretty face.

who loves it when you moan out his name.

or scratch at his back like you're trying to rip his skin off.

who's favorite positions are on all fours or missionary.

jongho who's sex can either be rough or tender.

who's favorite spot on your body is your legs and ankles, he likes to lift your leg during sex, kissing on the inside of your ankle and calf.

jongho who enjoys it when you go down on him, keeping eye contact with him.

who loves to suddenly push your head down, gagging on his dick.

jongho who finds it cute when you're on your knees looking up at him while wrapping your hand around his dick.

who enjoys giving you simple praises "good job baby, you're doing so good." "you look so pretty like this".

jongho who's head game is immaculate.

who buries his face in between your legs, pleasing you until your on the brink of fainting, your legs limp over his shoulders.

who counts it as an accomplishment that the longest you've ever lasted with his head was four minutes in twenty three, and that was barely pushing it.

jongho who's aftercare stretches to the next morning as well.

he prepares another bath for you, would even assist you in walking if you truly couldn't walk.

who isn't a perfect chef, but makes you a nice filling breakfast in bed after you shower.

jongho who stays with you for that day, staying inside and watching netflix, just genuinely enjoying your company.

who falls asleep in between your legs, to you massaging his head.

jongho who wakes up at four thirty in the morning to get ready to head back, since he had a flight to catch.

not before he gently wakes you halfway up to let you know that he's leaving so you don't worry.

who gives you a sweet, tender kiss on your cheek and lips when you pucker your lips out, asking for a kiss before his on his way.

jongho who locks your bedroom door and house door on his way out, enabling the security system just for precaution since his baby was alone inside.

jongho who thinks about you all day long.

jongho who enjoys your presence.

choi jongho who is your lover.

choijho has posted!

NOTES so YEAHHH, as y'all can tell im not the best with deadlines (the yunho and sunwoo one shots) so tbh, ill try to get those out to you ASAP! 💗 but take this for the meantime!

choijho leaving home to go home ♥️ #JONGHO #쫑스타그람 #❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[enbypotat53]

Part two!

(SPOILERS YET AGAIN!)

Moving on to.. the afterlife? Inside Mephone?? (Where the hell is this place again??)

Anyways, I'm gonna be focusing more on the area/main storyline here - ships'll come later, promise :)

Starting off with these scenes! OJ, the season 1 winner, surrounded by all the challenge items - they're ultimately what MADE the show in a way. The zany challenge ideas, the competitors, the winner?? Those are parts of ANY good game show, right?

Yet he looks so regretful. So hurt. The show was ultimately what cost him his life; his friendships. Paper resented OJ for always focusing on himself and never crediting Paper for his hard work around the hotel. Taco betrayed him and their other friends just for a chance of getting the million. Marshmallow was ultimately right - the show DOES cause others to lose sight of themselves. And I think OJ is starting to realise that.

We also get a glimpse of Springy! I guess my theory of him being created by Mephone WAS correct! We never actually see him again after this though - was he just too defective to be recovered?? Or was he not deleted recently enough? Makes ya think, huh..

I also wanted to note on Knife/Paper's discussion here - I know I said I wouldn't get into relationships much here, but.. "I don't need you to protect me"/"Neither does anyone apparently"??

IS HE ALLUDING TO SUITCASE?? FUCK, MAN.. he really took that to heart..

Now onto Box and Suitcase! It seems we finally got an answer about the ocean hallucinations

(As a sidenote, I don't know what pronouns Box uses - everyone referred to them as "him" throughout the show, but I assume that was mainly due to them being inanimate and no one really knowing. Due to them having a mostly androgynous voice and (as far as I know) no one referring to them by any particular pronouns, I'm just gonna use they/them for now.)

Box being alive was something I kinda called from the start, but damn did their backstory get me. "I never learned how to swim"?? Their assumption that the other auditioners left them to die?? They seem so reserved yet resentful, and I think they're still angry about the idea that Mephone continued the show whilst using their corpse as a gag. I assume it's a lot different to Mephone - he seemed to be genuinely upset that they drowned, and he may have been trying to include them any way he could (ESPECIALLY since he couldn't recreate them perfectly - a nice nod to the fact that he wasn't all-there yet with the generation powers.)

We also finally know Bow/Dough's tail story! Although we never see the recommended characters in the mansion, I assume they're still there, so hey! New friends for the ghost crew!

I also find it interesting how the revival process works - it's a race against time, kinda how like in real life, recently deleted items usually only get 30 days before they're permanently gone (or you can choose to delete them earlier, sorta like what's happening here.) Does this mean Springy is a ghost?

Moving onto Knife and 4S! I'm honestly glad to see that 4S got his own form of conclusion - he realised that his anger wasn't a flaw, and that it could be channelled into helping others. I like that. It's a good message - don't change yourself to fit the "perfect" mould, but instead think of all the ways your qualities can be used. Even if they initially seem undesirable, they may ultimately be what's needed in a situation (which is very true in this case - Knife's initial throwaway gag of an idea to use the Picknix table to create weapons was ultimately what ended up defeating Cobs!)

Plus, just.. I'm glad they touched on Knife's fears - I picked this up in episode 17, but his fear of death? His regrets about killing Marshmallow? His realisation of how serious this all is now, and how it just. Hits him? Mwah. Chef's kiss. It's SO interesting to see how the murderer-turned-softie suddenly realises how much worse it could've been if Mephone couldn't recover everyone. How he was (literally) playing with death for his amusement, not fully understanding the gravity of his actions until it's too late to change them. Knife is such a well-written character, and I ADORE his arc.

As a final note - LOOK HOW HAPPY MEPHONE IS TO SEE EVERYONE?? HE CARES ABOUT THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD 💙💙

Suitcase's monologue is so damn empowering too, but it's also so funny to see her reuse Mephone's "any questions??" line 😭💙 god, I love her.

(Next up will be the final scenes and the concert! :D)

OKAY so I just spent an hour collecting screenshots, time for the analysis!

(AS ALWAYS, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR INANIMATE INSANITY EPISODE 18 UNDER CUT!!!)

So I'll be tackling this like the episode 17 analysis, breaking it up into parts (except probably many, MANY more parts), but I'll start with Inanimate Island! (This won't be chronological, mostly just a by-area thing!)

And by god, do we start off strong. AN ANTHONY KOS SONG RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE?? HOLY SHIT.

Mephone thinking back on everything, his regrets about how he treated the contestants, his fears.. just. Wow. STRONG opening. (Also his little infodump to Mepad whilst they're still asleep/booting up, me too bud. Me too.)

Gotta admit I got choked up as soon as we started, both from built-up emotions whilst waiting, and just.. how powerful this was?? He cares SO damn much about the contestants, and Cobs destroyed EVERYTHING. This was his life, his escape (and we'll get to that later). Jesus, dude.

SPEAKING OF.

FUCK THIS GUY.

Holy SHIT did Joshua Waters do a phenominal job voicing him. I don't know if I've said it before but the II crew did SO good when they recast Cobs. Genuinely I don't think I could've asked for anyone better - you KNOW a VA is great when they can make you feel PHYSICAL RAGE just by saying their lines, y'know? When I first saw the trailer I had to actually take a break because I felt sick to my stomach just HEARING how this fuckass corn cob speaks to Mephone. His frequent infantalisation (both of Mephone, the contestants, the creatorbots, AND the viewers), and his manipulation, just.. eugh. He's probably the most well-written villain I've seen in a WHILE. AND HE'S SO PATHETIC?? He's a disgusting manchild who abuses his creations because it's the only semblance of power he'll get, and IT'S GREAT. I HATE HIM (/POS).

And ngl the self aware "it's good, just don't watch S1" gag made me choke on my lucozade, so thanks AE.

AND HOLY SHIT?? MEPHONE ACTUALLY FINDS HIS VOICE AND REBELS?? I'M SO PROUD OF HIM 😭💙

Again, more of Cobs being an asshole, but bless the Shimmers - they were so damn naïve, I'm glad they were warned and managed to get away, they just wanted their child back, man :(

NOW ONTO THE SCENE THAT MADE ME AUDIBLY SCREAM AND PUNCH MY BEDROOM WALL.

THEY KILLED MY BOY. MY BABY BOY.

Fun fact: I sent this message to a friend 2 hours before the episode dropped

Yeah I'm not okay.

Not gonna lie, I had a feeling it might've gone this way but I was PRAYING it didn't. Fuck, man.. Mepad is one of my absolute favourites for a multitude of reasons - he loves the contestants with all his heart, he'd do ANYTHING to protect them, and even though we could see how angry he was at Mephone in episode 17, he still gave his life to save him (and by extension, everyone else). He's a goddamn hero, but I wish he didn't have to die (and yes, I will be drawing fanart to cope). Glad he had a moment to be a badass though, Mepad is the living equivalent of "when the calm one gets mad, you know shit's about to hit the fan" and I love him for that 💙

ALSO LOOK HOW DISTRAUGHT TACO LOOKS?? MY BABY GIRL NO 😭😭😭

You could tell how much she cared about Mepad, and their friendship was SO important to me. I'll touch on this later but end song hurt my soul, ngl

AND WE OF COURSE HAVE COBS' DEATH.

So 10 image per post limit on the app fucked me over yet again, but I wanted to also briefly talk about Toilet so no popcorn image :(

I honestly think this death was so damn fitting for Cobs. It simultaneously feels dramatic, yet so utterly pathetic. It doesn't take itself too seriously, yet it's so built up and suspenseful - this is the moment we've ALL been waiting for. Seeing this bastard get his comeuppance. And to see his demise be a consequence of his vanity? He believed himself to be above everyone - he placed himself on a golden pedestal, thinking himself to be untouchable; he never would've believed he'd fall for such a simple illusion from "feeble minds", yet he did. He's a washed up old hack, through and through. All that grandeur? Just a façade. And honestly? The popcorn scene was so damn funny. Suitcase just casually offering Mephone a part of his father's cooked corpse had me cackling like a madman, it makes Cobs seem even more pathetic than he already was; reduced to a soft, delicate, utterly flavourless food that (if we're thinking about real-life movie theatres and how much popcorn people leave on the floor) is commonly stepped all over by everyone around. He remains in death how he always was in life.

(As always this'll be part one of the analysis, so strap in, folks! This'll be a long one!)

[bibbykins]

Miss Bibby can I just say. I ADORE the way u take my asks and turn them into whole ass headcanons that make me wanna cry (read: horny cry) LIKE. How’d you take that about crying and then introduce hobi’s obsession with DROOLING?? Holy SHIT?? And the putting his fingers in her mouth part??? I am D E A D. Pls I literally wanna drool over that mans (respectfully) I am not even joking. So semi related question: what are the boys’ thoughts on deepthroating (or like fucking her mouth and maker her drool like that. Also literally anY OTHER DROOL RELATED THINGS because H O T) —🦋

Hello my dear butterfly anon! First off, sorry this took literal ages I am the worst at writing dick sucking of any variety but I'm trying to get better! I ADORE the way you send me such *chef's kiss* asks! It is no joke that asks truly inspire me and LMAO HORNY CRY! The drooling kink really jumped out of me and for WHAT ahh I'm so excited to write smut for it!! Also I feel you on the respectful drooling lmao

Warnings: Deepthroating, fellatio, praise kink, corruption kink, degradation, dom/sub dynamics, drool/drool kink, saliva licking

Note: This is an ask in relation to The Household's Bunny series

First off, these fellas are WHIPPED they're just happy she would want to suck their dicks in the first place.

Taehyung swore his third eye opened when she sucked his dick so if she wore to deep throat him, he would ascend. He literally cannot shut up so if she deep throats him he'll be spewing praises on cute it is that his little lamb is so eager to please. He has to fist the sheets to not buck up into her mouth. If he can see her drool, he'll point it out and coo at the embarrassing noise she makes. "Good job, little lamb, so sweet and giving. "Awh, you're so excited for my cock, you're drooling!"

Jin is super focused when getting his dick sucked (because he doesn't wanna cum too quick lmao) so he's pretty quiet and will occasionally tell his pretty girl to only take him as deep as she wants but when she deepthroats? His voice will shake and he'll release a breathy moan, maybe even curse, which he rarely does with her. He would try to regain composure by gently touching her face. I'll be honest, he cannot see the drool with his eyes screwed shut lmao. Idk why he's so worried he has one of the best levels of restraint rip "Fuck, fuck, pretty girl. You're taking me so well- too well- shit-!"

Namjoon, king of corruption kink, loves loves hearing his cute housewife choke on his dick. He would hold her hair, but not push her down, just to move it out of the way so he can see her cheeks hollow and watch her lips move. When he sees how much she's drooling, he's cooing about how dirty his trophy wife looks slobbering all over his cock. "I thought you were a poised lady, what happened? You can't take a dick without choking or you're just so eager you can't help but drool?"

Jimin can't even form a coherent sentence as the girl of his dreams is nearly gagging on him. He has no chance to reassure her that she doesn't have to push herself because when she first swallows around him, he short circuits poor guy. He literally cannot shut up about how pretty she is and how perfect she is. Now, if he really gets into it, he's gonna tease a bit on how good you are taking him in so sweetly. "Your mouth was made to take my dick, wasn't it? What a pretty baby."

Hoseok is obsessed with watching her bob up and down on his dick. He will sometimes even have her be still as he thrusts up, enjoying the feeling of her tongue trying to keep up. And the drool!! He would tell her to hold her head down as far as she can go before having her fully pull up but keep her mouth open and chuckle at the mess she's making and the string of saliva he can see. "Mess, messy, my cute bunny. Poor thing is attached to my dick, she's so desperate."

Yoongi wants to look at her while she's going down on him. He gets off on the way she struggles to maintain eye contact while deep throating him or the way she gets flustered at his grunts and moans while he's looking right at her. The drooling is a plus he'll chide at her for getting him so messy, telling her to lick up her mess. "You were so cock hungry you made such a mess, take responsibility like a good girl."

Jungkook, the little shit he is, isn't going to thrust up or move her head (at first), he's going to have her put her hands behind her back and take him as deep as possible. He'd watch with sadistic pleasure as she drools before he lets he set a pace, only sometimes thrusting up or cupping her face to guide her. The whole time he's degrading her for how desperate and sloppy she is (through stuttered breaths and moans) "Look at you, slobbering like a desperate little bitch in heat. Yes, baby, swallow me up." Just like her tears, he is absolutely licking off any saliva that gets on the side of her mouth or licking up her chin to reach her tongue.

[jayeray-hq]

Br(Atsumu)

Hey everyone! This is the piece for @maizumis sfw brat collab! It's 100% sfw and if you enjoy it make sure to check out the Masterlist!

If you like this and want to see more of my writing for Atsumu check out my Character Masterlist!

Post Time Skip/Manga Ending Spoilers!

Warnings: None all Fluff

You watched amused as Atsumu slumped over the counter of his brother’s restaurant, arms pressed to his sides dejectedly and cheek smooshed against the hard surface. You couldn’t see his face from the angle you were at, but there was no doubt in your mind he had a pout on his face.

Osamu was standing behind the counter, clearly purposefully ignoring his brother’s sulking as he shaped onigiri in his hands, a thoroughly exasperated look on his face. His head lifted when he heard the bell overhead ring as you entered the shop, but a quick finger to your lips kept him from greeting you by name.

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya what can I get ya?” he chimed automatically, the usual bored drawl in his voice.

“How much for your twin?” you asked, your voice making Atsumu jerk a little in recognition, though he didn’t bother lifting his head, choosing instead to heave a sigh and pointedly ignore you, letting you know exactly what kind of mood your boyfriend was in.

“You can have that for free,” Osamu told you, face scrunched up in disgust, “In fact if yer haulin’ trash outta my restaurant I almost feel like I should be payin’ you instead.”

“Who you callin’ trash, ya scrub,” Atsumu sneered at his brother, finally raising his head to glare at his brother.

“Who else but you, ya trashy scrub!” Osamu retorted, not impressed in the slightest.

Luckily there was no one else in the restaurant at the moment to watch their antics, because while you found them entertaining you knew some found them more than a bit intimidating. Still you didn’t think either twin would be too happy if they actually started brawling in Osamu’s restaurant so you walked up behind your boyfriend, threading your fingers through his hair and gently tugging backwards until his head was resting against your chest.

He immediately quieted down a bit, though you could tell from the look on Osamu’s face that he was still glaring at his twin. Carefully you rested a hand on his shoulder and stroked your fingers through the soft golden waves, massaging his scalp in a way you knew he loved as you asked, “Rough day, Tsumu?”

He let out a huff, but didn’t bother to respond, clearly purposefully ignoring you, even if he didn’t actually pull away from your hands. You rolled your eyes at this childish behavior exchanging a look with Osamu.

“Don’t do that,” Atsumu hissed at the two of you.

“Do what?” Osamu demanded exasperated.

“Talk to each other like I ain’t sittin’ right here in front of ya,” your boyfriend retorted angrily.

“Ya really need to get yer ears cleaned out if ya thought we were talkin’ ya deaf scrub,” Osamu hissed, thoroughly fed up with your boyfriend who was clearly looking to pick a fight.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re ignoring me Tsumu?” you asked patiently, knowing that when he got in this kind of mood patience was the best way to deal with him. If you snapped back or got sarcastic it would only escalate the situation.

“It’s only fair,” he grumbled, still pointedly not looking at you, “Since you’ve been ignorin’ me all day.”

“Ignoring you?” you repeated completely and utterly baffled, “But weren’t you practicing with the rest of the Black Jackals today? And you know I was working too.”

“Ya didn’t let me kiss ya goodbye this mornin’ and ya ignored my texts all day,” Atsumu sulked, “I was startin’ to think ya weren’t even goin’ ta come fer our monthly dinner.”

“I was going to be late, and you were refusing to wake up,” you told your boyfriend reasonably, more amused than annoyed now that you knew what was bothering him, “But I still kissed you goodbye Tsumu and I even left a note for you.”

“Ya left a note?” he asked, voice perplexed though still sulky, “Where? I didn’t see it.”

“In the fridge on top of the bento I packed for you last night,” you told him puzzled that he hadn’t seen it, “Where I was sure you’d see it.”

“I forgot to bring my lunch,” he told you miserably, which definitely helped to explain his mood. Atsumu almost never ate if he didn’t bring his lunch with him insisting the food wasn’t good enough and didn’t match his diet plan. However, when he didn’t eat he tended to get hangry, which had no doubt contributed quite a bit to his foul mood.

“Sounds like a you problem,” Osamu jeered, clearly unimpressed. He of all people knew how nasty his brother could get when he didn’t eat. You gave him a look over his brother’s head again, trying to tell him not to rile him up again, and he raised his hands in surrender.

“Yer doin’ it again,” Atsumu whined, though he’d lost the slightly bitter edge from before.

“If you don’t like it, then maybe you should turn and look at me, so I can’t talk over your head anymore,” you pointed out mildly, feeling a bit like you were dealing with a sulking toddler, but willing to indulge him for now seeing as these kinds of moods were rare nowadays, something Ojirou had told you was clearly a long awaited sign of maturity from the former Inarizaki setter.

Your boyfriend huffed, but in the end swiveled his seat to look at you as you took the seat next to him. However you knew exactly what to do to coax him out of his bad mood. Gently you cupped his face in your palms and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, pulled back for a second, then pressed a longer lingering one to his willing mouth.

“There,” you assured him nuzzling your nose against his affectionately before pulling back, “The kiss goodbye I owed you from this morning, and a kiss to say I’m sorry.”

“Ya forgot to give me a kiss hello,” he pointed out, though you could see the corners of his lips pull upwards as you coaxed him out of his mood.

You grinned and leaned forward to press another kiss to his lips, enjoying the feel and the warmth of it as he cupped your face with one of his hands and held you close for a long moment both of you ignoring Osamu who was fake gagging in the background.

“But why didn’t ya text me?” Atsumu asked you when you parted again, his forehead resting on yours as he peered at you with anxious honey brown eyes, “I thought ya were mad at me.”

“My phone is dead,” you told him, with an affectionate huff, pulling it from your pocket and handing it over, “I must’ve forgotten to charge it last night.”

“Oh,” he told you, playing with the power button and refusing to meet your eyes clearly a little embarrassed at his overreaction, though he did quietly clarify, “So yer not mad?”

“I don’t think I have anything to be mad about,” you admitted, then teased, “Unless you’ve done something I should know about…?”

“No!” he protested immediately hands waving wildly in front of him as he declared his innocence looking entirely too alarmed, “I haven’t done anythin’ I swear!”

“I believe you,” you told him with an amused giggle, grabbing one of his flailing hands and interlacing your fingers together.

“Ya shouldn’t,” Osamu interjected with a huff, “If he hasn’t done somethin’ stupid recently I’ll eat my hat, and if he really hasn’t then he’s goin’ to be due fer it in the near future.”

“I’m not that bad,” Atsumu hissed at his twin, thoroughly offended.

“Ya are,” Osamu jeered, though it was more on the teasing end of things, “Otherwise ya wouldn’t have come in here and moped around, floppin’ all over my counter like an ugly fish and makin’ a nuisance of yerself because ya thought yer girl was mad at ya.”

“How can ya call me any sort of ugly when we have the same face!” Atsumu complained, exasperated. The argument was one you’d heard a thousand times now from both twins and somehow it never ceased to amuse you.

“It’s cuz I ain’t a whiney baby like you,” Osamu huffed.

“Princess, tell him I ain’t a whiney baby,” Atsumu whined, completely proving Osamu’s point and making you giggle helplessly as he pouted at you, informing you, “Yer my girlfriend, yer supposed to be on my side.”

“I am on your side,” you assured him, leaning forward to press a kiss to his pouting lips unable to help yourself, even as you told him, “But you are a bit of a brat Tsumu.”

“A what?” Atsumu asked, thrown by your use of English. He’d gotten better at speaking it a bit, picking up words here and there, though he did get thrown off sometimes when you threw out random words.

“A BrAtsumu?” Osamu repeated, his head cocked to the side in utter confusion.

You gaped at him for several seconds repeating the word over in your mind giggles beginning to spill from your mouth as both twins looked on with identical looks of confusion on their faces. The looks only made things worse and you began to howl with laughter, nearly falling out of your chair if not for Atsumu’s steadying hands.

“Brat – Tsumu, Bratsumu,” you managed to stutter out, wheezing as you tried to catch your breath, “It’s perfect, Osamu it’s perfect.”

“I don’t get it,” the onigiri chef informed you flatly, though you could see the corners of his lips curled upwards, amused at your amusement if nothing else.

“Brat means gaki,” you explained as you caught your breath, clutching Atsumu’s forearms for balance earning a snort of amusement from your boyfriend’s twin.

“Oy, oy, should ya really be callin’ yer boyfriend a brat,” Atsumu protested, though you could tell he wasn’t actually upset, just exasperated, “Especially when I just saved ya from either face plantin’ or crackin’ yer head open. What happens if I decide to drop ya huh?”

“Then I guess I’ll have to do this,” you told him lunging forward to wrap your arms around him instead to better brace yourself.

He caught you easily with a huff of amusement and cuddled you close pressing a tender kiss to your hair before he nuzzled his face into your neck with a warm chuckle as he asked, “So guess that means ya love me after all, even if ya are makin’ fun of me.”

“I always love you Tsumu,” you assured him affectionately, pulling back slightly so you could peer up into his eyes and hoping he could see how serious you were about this, “Even when you’re being a BrAtsumu.”

“Love ya too princess,” he told you fondly pressing a soft kiss to your hairline, “Gonna love ya fer ever, and m’sorry fer bein’ a pain today. Was just rough, cuz I thought ya were mad at me, an I woke up late, forgot my lunch, and didn’t do well in practice.”

“It’s okay Tsumu,” you assured him tenderly, “You weren’t that bad, though I’d appreciate if in the future you talked to me before getting angry.”

“I will,” he assured you nuzzling close.

You sighed in utter contentment, enjoying the feel of his arms, though you knew you probably shouldn’t stay too long. You were in public after all.

“Would the two of ya knock it off with the lovey dovey crap already, yer goin’ to scare away my customers,” sure enough, Osamu interrupted, though he looked more fond than annoyed, even if he was clearly giving it a go, “An where’s my apology huh? It was my counter ya were attemptin’ to merge with.”

“Thanks for putting up with us Osamu,” you told him sincerely, cutting in before your boyfriend could, meaning every word. The man really did put up with a lot at times and you really were grateful for it.

“Yeah well, the least I can do fer ya fer puttin’ up with my lump of a twin,” Osamu told you clearly a little embarrassed as he pulled off his cap and ruffled his hair, heaving a sigh, “Yer really good fer him ya know, too good if ya ask me, but thanks fer takin’ care of the scrub.”

“It’s my pleasure,” you told him honestly, “He may be a scrub, but he’s my scrub and I really do love him you know.”

“I know,” Osamu told you with a fond smile, “Of all people I’m glad it’s you that’s goin’ ta be my future sister-in-law.”

“Oy, what did I tell the two of ya about talkin’ like I ain’t here,” Atsumu protested, though there was a slightly wavering edge to his voice that told you he didn’t actually mind all that much, the pink flush on his cheeks letting you see how touched he was, even as he rushed to change the subject, “Besides we’re here fer food Samu so why aren’t ya feedin’ us?”

“Fine, fine,” Osamu told him, rolling his eyes and clearly deciding to concede just this once, “What do ya want ya big glutton.”

As the twins bickered a bit you couldn’t help but smile, enjoying the warmth of Atsumu’s arm around your waist and the way you could clearly see how both twins kept an eye on your comfort even as they argued, always sure to include you in the conversation and to let you know you were free to interject at any time.

Osamu had always made sure you felt like you were part of the family, and Atsumu, though he could be a brat at times, but he was your brat and he doted on you like nothing else. Looking at them you could almost see the future, with you solidly at Atsumu’s side coming to visit Osamu in his shop so you could all catch up together, hopefully someday with a spouse for Osamu too if he wanted one, and children that would argue the same way the twins did causing mayhem wherever they went.

It was a lovely dream for the future, one you hoped with all your heart would become reality, but for now you were content to simply enjoy the moment savoring every second of being loved by the biggest brat you knew.

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[henrycavillobsessed]

A Christmas Distraction

Henry x first person reader

Summary: When your mother visit for Christmas, Henry finds a way to distract you from the ensuing stress.

Words: 1552

CW: smut (sex), overbearing mothers/strained mother-daughter relationship

Notes: Here’s a little smutty one-shot I wrote this evening, the last of my own ideas before I start on my 1000 follower celebration requests. Enjoy and Merry Christmas everyone! 

“So darling, we’ll be round for about 12pm. I expect lunch will be nearly ready then will it? I could bring the turkey, save you the trouble. Yours is usually a little dry anyway…” My mother’s voice droned on in my ear. I was still reeling from the news that she had just invited herself and my step-father round to mine and Henry’s house for Christmas. I honestly thought I’d gotten away with it this year, having heard nothing from her until now- now being the 22nd of December with only three days to go- so I thought it’d just be me, Henry and Kal this year. Small, intimate, relaxing, just perfect. Why did I pick up the phone? Why did I say yes? I finally come round to my senses and replied to my mother. “Mum, I’m a chef for a living. I’m more than capable of cooking the turkey.”  “Well yes love, but I don’t want you to get stressed, we both know what you can get like,” I only get like that around you, mother, I thought, and then sighed. “Mum, I’ll do all the cooking, see you on the day. Bye -bye now,” I hung up before she could say anything else. 

Kal suddenly started barking madly. I looked up and saw Henry walk in through the front door, home from the gym, shaking his wet hair out of his eyes and grinning at me whilst ruffling Kal’s fur. The sight of my man all damp and in his work-out gear was usually enough to launch myself at him and have him there and then on the living room floor. But my most recent phone call had seriously affected my mood, and Henry noticed. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he said, frowning, joining me on the sofa and wrapping an arm around me. I leant into his embrace. “My mother.” I said, my voice glum. “Oh no, what’s she done now?” I nearly laughed at his response. Henry was no stranger to how strained mine and mum’s relationship could be. Thankfully, he was supportive, always had been. “She’s coming for Christmas dinner, with John.” “When did she lay this on you? Doesn’t she know it’s three days until the 25th?” “Of course she does, she just doesn’t care. She rang me not long ago. Didn’t even ask, just invited herself. God why didn’t we go to your parent’s house again like last year?” I said, fondly remembering the festive season the year previously where Henry and I had spent an incredibly enjoyable week in Jersey with his parents and brothers. “Oh love. What can I do to help?” Henry asked, rubbing a hand up and down my back. I sighed again, and then reluctantly got up from the sofa. “I suppose I’ll have to go shopping. Care to join?” “We’ll take the Range Rover. We’ll need the bigger boot for all the extra wine you’re sure to need. Let’s go,” he said, grabbing the car keys.

Three days later and it truly was worse than I’d imagined. John, my step-father, had driven over, which meant mother had already started drinking, no doubt opening a bottle of Bucks Fizz before the sun had even risen on Christmas morning. She hadn’t been here ten minutes when she started in on my appearance, commenting on how my new hair cut just wasn’t flattering on a woman my age. She even insulted Henry, saying and I quote “don’t they pay you enough to afford nicer clothes on these little movies you do?” Henry’s fame didn’t faze her in the slightest, if anything it made her even ruder, but Henry, the perfect gentlemen as always, just smiled in response, although the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Once I’d got mum and John settled in the living room with drinks, Henry found me in the kitchen opening a bottle of red wine with every intent of just necking the whole thing. He reached up and grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard above the sink and gently took the bottle out of my hands and poured for me. I sat down, rubbing the spot above my eyes where a headache was forming. Henry sat down next to me, handing me the wine. “I’m so sorry, this wasn’t the Christmas I had planned for us,” I said to him. He squeezed my leg, and smiled. “Any Christmas I spend with you is perfect. I just hate seeing you like this, so stressed. It’s not fair.” “You can say that again,” I mumbled, sipping my wine. Henry stood up and leant against the counter top. He suddenly looked very mischievous. “I have an idea. What you need is a distraction.” “I don’t have time for distractions, I’ve got to do all this cooking because God forbid I get anything wrong or don’t serve it on time…” I replied, waving a hand towards the stovetop where multiple pans were boiling away. “Come on, it will take five minutes…” “Henry I can’t-“ I started, but was interrupted with a shrill “Y/N!” coming from the living room, accompanied by what sounded like a fork being tapped against an empty wine glass. “Changed my mind, a distraction sounds fantastic,” I said, necking my wine and taking his hand. I was surprised when he led me to the room just next door, the utility room where I did the laundry. “What are we doing in here?” I laughed. Henry slid a box of laundry detergent across the door, essentially locking us in. He straightened up and turned around, licking his lips with a twinkle in his eye. I stopped laughing immediately. I knew what that look meant. “I told you, baby,” He walked towards me, slowly backing me up against the wall. “What you need is a distraction. And I am more than happy to be the one doing the distracting…” I swallowed, awareness coursing through my body. He was everywhere, his muscular arms caging me in, his scent threatening to overpower me as he leant in slowly and took my mouth with his in a smoldering kiss, the effect of which I could feel pooling down below. I was instantly wet and wanting for him. “And what type of distraction,” I panted. “Did you have in mind Mr Cavill?” “The type where my cock is deep inside of you.” I almost came there and then listening to his voice, my arousal building. I didn’t know how much I needed that until he’d said it and now, I was desperate. “And what if our guests hear us?” “Hmm. Maybe I should gag you.” He smiled the smile of the devil as he reached into the clean laundry pile and produced one of ties. Staring into my eyes, he asked wordlessly for my consent. I nodded clearly, my mouth dry, my pussy soaked. He rolled the tie up and pushed it into my open, waiting mouth, using another tie to hold it in place which he knotted at the back of my head. “Turn around,” he commanded, and I obeyed. He leant down and placed a tender kiss on my neck, then another, and another. I moaned; the sound muffled. I felt his smile against my neck. His hands roamed downwards, one sliding into my trousers and then into my panties. His breath hissed as he felt the evidence of my arousal. He circled my clit, the feeling exquisite, and it wasn’t long until he brought me to a gentle, rolling orgasm. I could feel his dick hard against my back, and silently willed him to put it inside me, and, as in tune as we always were, Henry complied. He pulled us away from the wall, turning us to face the dryer. One of his beautiful hands pushed slightly against my back, urging me to bend forwards. He grasped both of my hands in his other, placing them on top of the dryer with a whispered don’t move and then suddenly, finally, he was inside me, easing himself in gently, his groan echoing mine as he filled me up. And then he was moving, each thrust hitting me inside just right and suddenly I could feel that pressure building again, I was coming, I was coming hard around him, and he was emptying himself hotly into me, our joint orgasm exploding through us and at that moment I had never been more grateful for the gag. Gently, Henry pulled out from me and removed my makeshift gag. “Jesus, Cavill…” “I hope that helped” He winked. After we finished putting our clothes back on, he kissed me quickly on the lips and flashed me his award-winning smile. Shaking my head with a smile of my own I followed him out of the utility room back into the kitchen, timing it near perfect as my mother walked in just after. “Y/N! I was calling you! Now, where are we at with this food? Oh, that turkey looks awful, dry as a bone! I keep telling you, the secret is- “ “Oh, mother, do shut up,” I said, shocking her into silence. Henry winked again as he left the room, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter, as I turned back to the stovetop, ignoring my mother’s outraged commentary, feeling thoroughly relaxed and distracted.

[tedturneriscrazy]

Another Saturday, another episode! Let's take a look at Keeping Up A-fear-ances!

(Good lord I'm starting to make myself sound like some sort of content creator)

Oh, okay, we're just starting at that level of intensity, huh?

Chest gem origins

Gwendolyn not being satisfied with managing the curse and determined to cure it? I'm sure this won't be a real world allegory in the slightest.

Oh, so Eda literally just stumbles upon the portal? I could call that contrived, but honestly it's not dissimilar to how Dipper found Journal 3. For that matter, the entirety of Lord of the Rings is predicated on an accidental discovery like this and nobody gave Tolkien shit about it.

Was the eye on the portal cracked in previous episodes? I don't remember.

Seems like Gwen is the "well-meaning but ultimately misguided" flavor of mom.

As an aside, I am now quite curious about how Eda's first trip to the human realm went. Maybe a future episode will cover it? At any rate, I smell a new favorite fic prompt.

The screaming alarms in the Demon Realm will never not be funny to me.

Also, that is a worrying number of hearts. Eda is straight up murdering these poor creatures.

For some reason the gold fang being removable never occurred to me as a possibility, and now I feel like a kid who's discovered that Santa isn't real.

Oh hey, the new outfit! I'm also impressed how close to symmetrical that tearing was.

I need to get a screencap of Luz sleeping on that stack of books because she is adorable.

Also, staying up all night researching? This season seems determined to completely eradicate the notion of Luz being dumb, and I am here for it.

I have a feeling the Hexside mug will be making its way to The Mystery Shack in the near future.

Lilith's first experience with transformation and she seems understandably horrified.

The curse acting stronger when stressed? That seems...important.

Ah, so the dismemberment is from the curse! A surprisingly useful side effect from what we've seen so far.

Can I just say that I appreciate how Eda's reaction to Lilith's first taste of transformation is immediate remedy, explanation, and reassurance? And doesn't make any snarky comments along the lines of "now you know what it's like?" Whatever happened in that week and a half must have been cathartic as hell.

"Always. Always curious." Luz is the TOH fandom.

(Also, Eda, you know she is, considering how much she went on about your "mysterious past" at the Covention)

"Magic bird tornado?!" Luz has a way with words that's just *chef's kiss*.

"Gwendolyn." Eda is already just fucking done.

"MOM?!?!" Jeez, Lilith, you're just now hearing all this?

I was charmed by how motherly Gwen was acting toward Eda, but then she kinda just...dismissed Lilith, and now I'm somehwat less charmed.

(Sweet flea as a term of endearment is kinda cute, though might have some unfortunate implications depending on how you want to interpret it)

"Who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" OH WE GOING FOR THE ANTI-VAXXERS NOW YESSSS

Luz and Lilith's reaction to that whole exchange is priceless.

Everyone's perspective here makes perfect sense for who they are and what they've been through.

Poor Lilith. Her cursing Eda is beginning to make more sense.

Ah, thus begins the collaboration.

"We'll be consulting someone very special." Why does that seem so...ominous?

Is there anyone who watched this episode for the first time whose bullshit detector didn't go off immediately when Gwen mentioned finding someone who promised a cure?

Heh, Palm Stings.

Nonbelievers will be blinded by the power of the tome? I'm sure they will be, Wartlop.

I must say, as something of a scientist myself (okay that's not true, I'm a QA tech for a food manufacturer, but I do have a chemistry degree), I am 100% here for the swings being taken at faith healing/"miracle" cures/anti-vaxxers in this episode

Oh, we Wile E. Coyote now, huh?

Also, interesting how much apple blood is being played up in this episode.

Lilith please you're projecting your mommy issues on a literal child

OH WE REALLY JUST WILE E. COYOTE HUH?

You're right, Luz, Gwen's bicep game is goals.

(Somewhat disappointed the scars are from questing and not beastkeeping, but eh)

Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be a future episode where everybody stages an intervention for Eda's apple blood problem?

"Those feathers mean we're driving the beast out" Gwen no

Hooty is holding the brain cell? Oh no...

If that ice cream came from the Night Market it would explain why Lilith sounds drunk.

(Side note: I can't be the only one getting flashbacks to Mermista's ice cream binge, right? Different context, but still)

"Abomi-berry" "Franken fruit" "Key slime pie" These are A+ flavor names.

Oh, there's the transformation...

I must say that whole segment kinda rubbed me the wrong way. The way King's opinion on his dad was changed seemed...I don't know how to describe it. I get that they needed a trigger for Lilith's transformation, but honestly if any part of the episode is contrived it's this.

"¡It really is that good!" So that's what an accent slip in written form looks like. (The upside down exclamation point is used in Spanish, in case anyone didn't know)

I keep half expecting Eda to say "Beep! Beep!" at this point.

Luz is finally asking questions. Took long enough.

Ah, the classic "moving the goal posts to extract more money from a desparate family member" technique.

Luz channeling Scorpion, we love to see it.

There is an exquisite irony in Eda's mom being scammed, I must say.

Ah, so that's where the elixirs went. Dammit, Gwen.

Luz is definitely thinking "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

Beast!Lilith is massive.

"Sweet flea?" Gwen just realized she done goofed.

"I can see you still need a little time." God Luz is so fucking smart.

The con revealed.

OH DAMN SCARY MAMA

(Also I am terrified of bees/wasps, so extra scary mama in my book)

The scam is revealed, goblins, getting back into the Wartlop disguise is kinda pointless.

She joined the Beast Keeping coven entirely to cure the curse? That's dedication. A shame you couldn't have spared some of that for Lilith.

Still, I do like badass scary mama Gwen. I'd be down to see more of that.

Owl Beast fight!

I am slayed by the fact that the portraits are now officially a recurring gag 😂

Aw, here's The Moment™️

"My turn to drive" Does this imply cars are a thing on the Boiling Isles after all?

Lilith crying almost immediately💔 She was holding onto a lot of pain.

Yes, King, she was trying to do her best. I mean, road to hell or whatever, but at least Gwen got there in the end.

WHAT?! YOU'RE BREAKING UP LULU AND HOOTCIFER?!?!?!?

Terrace, that's just cruel. (Worthless brownie points for whoever understands that reference)

No, seriously, you can't just give me my favorite inter-character relationship in the series after Lumity and just...take it away like that, come on! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I know I should remark on how Lilith told Gwen about the circumstances of the curse, how Gwen rightfully accepted responsibility for the whole situation, and how Luz finds the big hair aspirational, but...NOOOO DON'T END THE ADVENTURES OF LULU AND HOOTCIFER WHYYYYYYYYY💔😭💔😭💔😭

"BUT I CAN'T HOLD A PEN!"

I will never emotionally recover from this.

Okay, I think I got that out of my system. Anyway...

Not the only human, huh? Cue the "Belos is a human" theorists going into maximum overdrive.

That said, a tantalizing lore dump.

We certainly do have a lot of garbage. Some of it even holds office. HEY-O!

Setting up the next episode, too. Continuity!

Camp's over, huh? That means it's been three months.

Way to misdirect with Camila, guys. That said, we have now seen Camila cry and I HATE it. (In the right way, I think)

WHAT THE FUCK

HOLY SHIT

CREEPY LUZ IS REAL WHAT

OWJEIWHQGIWWOPQ

(It's hard to keysmash on a phone, even with autocorrect off)

That wraps it up! The flaws in this episode seem more pronounced than any others in the season so far, but the good stuff was really good! Overall a solid episode! I know everybody's looking forward to library Lumity in the next one (so am I), but I'm personally eager to see what they do with Gus. His part is the A plot, after all.

Anyway, I'll be back at this next week! Still hard to believe this is a thing, but that's life, I guess.

[300iqprower]

Favorite fgo characters from a design perspective? (Doesn't have to be servants only)

hmm....Well, an easy top pick is Colombus. The artist for him Moto Murabito has what might be my favorite art style ever though so kinda cheating, and I don't like his battle sprites half as much. His final ascension in particular I don't like in battle; I get what it's going for but it just looks cluttered and gaudy (which might be the point given his character) and that's coming from a guy who tends to explicitly love the overdesigned stuff. Which leads me into whether I should pick based on battle sprite or pure artwork but I'm definitely inclined towards the latter while keeping the former in mind.

Someone who's the opposite is Achilles, don't like his general design and especially dislike his portrait arts, but I really like his final ascension battle sprite with the sort of lightweight power-armor motif.

On that note my most recent favorite and possibly my absolute favorite is Aśvatthāman for sure. Every single one of his ascensions is gorgeous to look at and I regularly can't decide if I like his second or third more.

Martha is one of the few Summer servants who I consider to have a flat out better design than their original. You get a nice summer hat and dress, a jacket that wouldn't look out of place on Kazuma Kiryu (personal favorite), or Beach Episode Tifa.

Of course there's Siegfried, a design so good it suckered me into wasting my SR ticket on him cause I stupidly believed the bit people parrot about picking who you want being the most important. Fucking liars this game is a slave to meta. But it's a fantastic design and fuck his summer outfit for covering most of it up. Same goes for Casgil actually. I’m 100% on board with the Siegfried is Fafnir theory and if its true his design is flat out genius.

Lanling/Gao is just fcking infuriatingly gorgeous and possibly my pick for best visual representation of their legend, certainly tied with Siegfried for it. Relatedly Yu Mei Ren in both art style, animations, and against all odds actual outfit is *chef’s kiss*. Funny how a series that so routinely grossly oversexualizes characters got a character literally named Consort Yu PERFECT with a design that fits her origin and character stylization beautifully. The sheer anguish on display in some of her portraits is wonderful as well and very important to nailing her character in lb3 while also being a great contrast when she’s frequently used in gags for events.

“Inferno” has m my favorite portraits of any character in the game, full stop. I take psychic damage every time it shows her sad expression. Ponytail supremacy though!

Nobunaga across all forms is absolutely perfect in just about every sense and is tied with Vlad III for third place after those other 2 for my pick of best representing their counterpart. Docked points for the genderbend but its made up for by sheer art style (especially with avenger nobu) and personality on display.

Some more low key designs that I still very much love include base Nyalter (i ABSOLUTELY HATE her ascensions though) and Kotarou and Billy’s final ascensions (which i can only describe as fcking badass), as well as Vlad as aforementioned for just perfectly capturing the halfway point between himself and Dracula (ngl i do not care for extra vlad’s design.)

Shakespeare’s design is actually what initially drew me to him even more than his identity and all i can say is im so glad such a fantastic character has such a good design AND one of the absolute coolest final ascension artworks; i’m a big sucker for red and black glowing stuff. Tangentially related but Jalter’s base is easily her best form.

Ruler Quetz, Astraea, Barge Chest, and Hassan of Hundred Personas all get mention for being among the only female characters allowed to be jacked as hell. More of that.

Mandricardo, Rider Quetz (despite lack of muscle), and Beni all deserve a spot here just for their masterful use of color throughout their entire designs. Beni also gets special mention alongside Ashtart and Okita Alter for utterly gorgeous sword attack animations, with Okita Alter probably having the best sword np in the game.

Zerkerlot is a unique case, because he looked amazing in Fate Zero but lost that in fgo because the whole reason he looked amazing was the use of cgi to give him this not-quite-human touch to his movements which fit his character perfectly, and it was infinitely better done than whatever tf they did with Herc in Heaven’s Feel.

Mozart and Salieri have got to be another easy pair for the list, not only are they just visually interesting as hell to look at, but Mozart’s is an amazing flip of his origin story and Salieri in everything from portrait to battle sprite to attack animations is absolutely overflowing with character. (Except his np for some ungodly reason that is some weak fcking shot right there)

And lastly there’s Coffin Archer, Gramps, Oberon, and Dantes, all to the surprise of literally no one because those are the free spaces on the favorite fgo design bingo card. There’s nothing i can say about how good their designs are that hasn’t already been said.

In terms of non player characters my favorites are typically those who i feel have designs that fit the character’s intended impact. Goredolf, Romani, ‘Solomon,’ Kadoc, Daybit, ‘Sigurd’, and the Demon God Pillars in the pseudo singularities are ALL examples of what i mean, with the non humans listed there also just looking REALLY fcking cool as a bonus.

Basically i look for three things in a servant design: Color, complexity, and/or authenticity. If a servant’s design isn’t something that screams their identity, then it had better be something interesting on its own. And as for what i dislike, it’s when it’s something completely unfocused on what the character is supposed to be or really anything that prioritizes sexualizing them over having a good design, which is sadly why so many of these picks are sadly male servants. I despise how many female characters are short, model-like and muscleless (even when it’s someone like Quetz who we had to wait for santa quetz to get her with some goddamn muscle despite it supposedly being a defining trait for her) or just utterly stupid in their anatomy for the sake of catering to incels who find the very concept of an independent woman terrifying. It’s why there’s always a catch with female servants be it a motherly obsession, an over sexualized as hell design, a deep seated emotional vulnerability that makes them dependent on the player, or just being absurdly short. Meanwhile the male servants regularly get to actually be designed with their legend and ONLY their legends in mjnd resulting in far more varied yet coherent designs on a lot of fronts. Also every child servent design that isn’t 1st ascension Abby or 2nd ascension Voyager can die in a fire.

Now lets can this on the head with absolute favorites from what ive listed before it turns entirely into another soapbox rant. In no particular order:

Final Salieri

Base Jalter

Dantes

Oberon

Siegfried

Gao/Lanling

Colombus

Aśvatthāman

2nd Summer Martha

Final Billy

Shakespeare

Beni-Enma

Base “Inferno”

Coffin Archer

Kadoc

Humanoid Demon God Pillars

Maou Nobu Trio

Yu Mei Ren

[sanstropfremir]

it's kingdom time for real!!! the first episode is here and mnet finally uploaded the stages from like a month ago so i can actually watch them more than once to review.

happy to see them all actually performing. not the most interesting stages overall, but it was the 100sec one-take so i wasn’t expecting anything crazy. like the performance stages, this is about what i expected at this point in the show.

ranking under the cut, i have Opinions(tm) and they are not all pretty.

(anyone that’s seeing this for the first time, i’m a trained performance designer with over 30 credits and a decade of experience, yes i can talk about this with authority)

a few general notes:

this type of stage that mnet has built is called a traverse, or alley, stage. named exactly for the reason you think. it’s characterized by a narrow playing space with audience on opposite sides, and two entrances on either end. so mnet had a pretty typical setup. there are some advantages to this type of stage:

because of the narrow stage space and usually smaller audience capacity, the performer and audience are in much closer proximity

because of the shape of the space, blocking (choreography but for not-dance) can travel well and be very dynamic

it’s uncommon outside of midsize/small productions so there’s some novelty for the casual theatre goer

however! there are some pitfalls with this type of stage. the hardest type of stage to work with is (theatre) in the round. theatre in the round is characterized by being....in the round. that means the audience is placed 360 degrees around the playing space. which means that they can see everything; every entrance, every exit, every performer’s back, 360 degree sightlines means there is nowhere to hide. and in a medium that relies on concealment to create magic, it’s a tough stage to work with. not saying it doesn’t work. some of the most incredible shows i’ve been to have been theatre in the round, but when you go to those type of shows, as an audience member you understand that there will be some scenes where you only see the actors’ backs. there is no perfect seat in the round. the reverse is true as well, the actors can only act to those in front of them. and like i stated previously, on the production end it becomes difficult to hide things like props/set/costume changes that you might have been able to in another type of theatre. why am i talking about theatre in the round? because traverse works on exactly the same principle. even though the audience is only on two sides, the same issues still arise. directionality is key: a director has to be careful of how exactly the stage gets blocked.

why am i talking about stage formats? because the space always informs the performance, that’s why. i think mnet made a sort of smart choice to build a traverse stage. since the ‘audience’ is a video camera, that eliminates the need to play to the opposing seating banks, and opens up more staging opportunities. it’s a fancy looking stage that does what they need it to. 

now here’s my gripes. if you’re going to specifically orient a stage so that it is by nature directional, why are you broadcasting in a format where direction doesn’t matter? if the camera has no fixed position, then you’ve just skipped directly into in the round staging without taking into account the function of the space. it's a round peg in a square hole; yes it fits, but you can see the spaces where it doesn’t quite match up. for a very obvious example, any shot that is not staring directly down the barrel of the stage from left or right has audience in it. and not enough to be worthy of a reaction shots (because those are just cut in in post), but enough to just be there. why would you do that when you could just.....not? just go properly in the round and then you wouldn’t have that distraction. especially when the audience is wearing white. also, there are only so many ways you can stage on a traverse, you’re pretty much limited to directional points on a compass, because there are literal risers in the way. because of the way most groups are choreographed, the member layouts lean more towards having the members in a line than they do layering the members deep. this configuration is fine on a proscenium stage (which is what most stages are), and would even be fine on a traverse stage if you were playing to the risers. you could even do some interesting choreo alterations. but! because mnet has decided that the camera is perpendicular to the risers, that means that most of the formations are not optimized for the stage dimensions and are in fact the opposite dimensions. most of these groups are doing their longest blocking across the shortest area of stage, which is dumb. although it isn't much of a problem because the stage is still very large, but it's still a bizarre choice on behalf of mnet. why would you not arrange the stage so you have more clearance for the camera, the audience, and also the performers? i would have to check back over the rtk performances, but im pretty sure at one point they switch to an in the round stage. why are you not doing that from the start? this would also allow for more built setpieces. although it does remain to be seen if they do switch after this episode, since this particular challenge was a one-take with minimal props/set pieces. which segues to my next point: these groups barely took up the parameters of the challenge, or utilized them effectively! this is also mnet’s fault, mnet if you say that you’re gonna do a one-take, don't cut between seven other cameras!! show us the power of that single point of view! let the groups actually do some interesting blocking with the path of the camera! there’s so many interesting things they could have done, but no!! had to be boring!! i know this is technically an introductory stage, but i also don't care. these groups have (relatively) competent ADs and stylists, they can think outside the box.

ok now here’s my actual rankings:

1. btob

sorry babies, none of you can match them vocally. love you ateez but you sure fucked up picking them to go after you because they blew you out of the fucking water. and everyone else, but ateez cumulatively is the weakest vocally. more on that later. like the performance stage they showcased their strengths and the experience (and training) shows. good use of the directional stage having three vs one that came together in the middle. loved the white suit variations, im especially a sucker for a belted suit jacket. loved peniel's gigantic trench and massive earrings, very mid 90s, his stylist definitely took a lesson in how to accessorize very short hair. always love good use of fog. uniform colour theme, all elements were there to support the vocals. no complaints, chef’s kiss.

2. ikon

hey baby groups? see bobby having fun? do that more. i know you think performance face is sexy and serious but none of you know how to act and you all look dead inside on stage. the lights may be on but nobody’s home. anyways. excellent beginning formation, excellent ending formation, no complicated position changes that make the camera give you motion sickness. fun choreo that they are obviously having fun performing, which goes sooooo far in the success of a performance. only group so far to use silence as an effective device, and the arrangement was interesting and suited to the song+performance. i think it was smart of them not to deploy bobby right away, although it would have been funny to watch after whatever it was that stray kids was trying to do. again, like btob and also sf9, sticking to their strengths. costumes fun and fitting, indicative of both the colour of the group and of the song. nice detail in the monochrome and the black accent details.

3. sf9

taeyang is that bitch and they only way this would have been better is if he had actually grabbed the ties of those two other members (if you think i am going to remember anyone's names other than the people i already know you are wrong). love the confidence to waste a good chunk of your 90 seconds for walking and standing in formation. actual good use of one-take directional camera, even though they ruined it once they started dancing. choreo perfectly fine, lighting good complementary colour scheme, costumes nothing to write home about, surprisingly good projection design? wasn’t expecting that. im not the biggest fan white suit jackets over black shirts but ill give it a pass for the proper suit accessorizing.

4. ateez

i applaud your dedication to the pirate gimmick but boys you don't need that anymore, i promise. hongjoong's lil bloody cough was a fun gag that didn't draw too much attention but fit with the theme. came out of the gate strong with an actual clear narrative, which can be a challenge to do in 100 seconds, and the only group to have a narrative. also actual camera choreo! that was interesting! mnet stop fucking cutting to overhead shots! apparently im destined to always be beefing with the ateez stylists because what was the point of all that? very little variation in texture or pattern on matte all black just made any relevant details disappear. torch gimmick and end formation fun, and the arrangement had an obvious climax. weird and kinda fun projection design, but not helped by concert-style stage lighting. pick one or the other lighting designer, don't make them fight like that! props to them for actually having their mics on the whole time, even though they are probably the weakest group vocally. im also going to be beefing with the choreographer because they are always making seonghwa sing while doing ridiculous moves that make him go offkey. ateez has some of the stronger 4th gen vocals, but they're at a disadvantage because a) none of them have proper vocal training, and b) their main vocal is not actually a skilled singer and is destroying his voice.not a lot of vocals for them to showcase this stage and that was probably for the best. hanya (@changdyke) is in charge of vocals critique and will have more to say about this than me, even though i am also trained. im just here to talk about the production.

5. the boyz

im neutral to positive on tbz because i did really like their danger stage from rtk. this performance is just....fine. I don’t like the arrangement, but that's mostly personal opinion. but it doesn't have a conclusive end and the whole dissonance thing isn't really working for me in this instance. the choreo is quite flippy and tricking is not necessary for an interesting choreo. i did like the throwback/use of modern choreo, i think that's a strong choice for them and it's not something that many other groups are doing, so they should stick more to that than to tricking. the camera choreo is also not good. here’s where the clearance issues and fighting against the stage layout happen! stop making a handheld do a 180! are you trying to make us motion sick? to be fair, this is not the most egregious one, but at least ateez got it right by having a person lead the camera in a particular pattern. also, what even is the theme here? leatherclad boys in the forest? nobody give me any shit saying it's based off one of their music videos or whatever, that shouldn't matter. there should be a clear theme that can be easily identified without prior knowledge of the group, especially when this is an introductory stage and they are a relatively young group. none of the other groups have this issue. that being said, at least the costumes were interesting to look at, although thematically confusing. good use of accessories, texture, and bedazzling to make the black stand out against the stage. the hands in front of the camera were kind of fun but didnt really mean anything? again, back to the lack of clear concept. i did like them reaching out to pull that member forward, it would have been better if they had just left it at that.

6. stray kids

the more i watch this the more i hate it. im not even sorry about it anymore. starters, and i will admit this upfront: i do not like most 4th gen music, so the spiderman meme groups are already operating on a deficit in my point of view. and i particularly did not like this arrangement. same as with tbz, why did it not have a conclusive end? also overuse of sound effects. and stop saying your fucking band name! the only musician that’s allowed to do that is jason derulo and thats because hes a meme now. but twice in 100 seconds? no. and what was the point of that logo/crown reveal? im tired of crown reveals we have seen them so many times by now, we don't need to see it again. was it meant to be that they were carving it into the ground?? very unclear. there was an attempt with camera choreo, and i will admit that the pan up and then back down to the ‘wolf pack’ was probably the strongest moment in the whole performance. the lights were in their mouths, by the way. however, the rest of the choreo is all over the map, quite literally. as with tbz there’s a lot of members in the group and so in order for everyone to get their screen time they break down into smaller groups, which i don't disagree with on principle, but here.........the breakdowns are just tricking, which although eyecatching, does not a very compelling or cohesive choreo make. even the unison choreo is weird, obviously its stylized horror but it just looks awkward and strange. you can make awkward/unattractive choreo work (see taemin’s want, or even move, to some extent)***, but skz doesn't have an ounce of the charisma that taemin has so it just looks awkward. also, that rapid switch between opposite sides of the stage? nausea inducing. ateez was the one with the pirate concept but skz apparently trying to make us seasick. im not gonna say anything about that rap other than it was bad, why was that allowed on stage. the sparkthrower was fun but that's like the 14th gimmick in this 100 second stage and that’s too many gimmicks. costumes are truly nothing to write home about, extremely unclear relation to the theme. if you're gonna be wolves then at least have some fur accents or something. the makeup effects were a bit over the top and not necessary in the actual performance. a hairdresser needs to thin out felix’s hair because he looks like he's wearing one of those lego hair helmets. oh, i did like that one guy’s shirt with the collarbone cutout, but again: how is that relevant to the theme? cmon people!!!! design the whole experience!! im sure there’s more i could write but holy shit this is long and im tired and also i don't want to watch this stage anymore.

ok im done. jesus this is long. again, this is just the intro stage so i suspect that some of my complaints will become null next week, but we’ll have to see! well, what i actually want to see is changmin insulting children but i’m not holding out hope for that to happen. hopefully we see some more spectacle-y stages and i can really go in.

***this is not me saying that taemin has a bad choreo that he’s making the best of. want is purposefully choreographed that way in order to showcase taemin’s ability. same with move. the point of want is that it IS awkward and should not be seductive or appealing and yet it still is. almost like....it’s in the name of the song or something.....

[nossbean]

I haven’t had as much time as I’d hoped to get stuck in with @jaime-brienne-fic-exchange yet, but from the fraction of the 105 (🎉🎉🎉) fics I have been able to read, a few recs:

Book canon

Innocent This is my gift fic and I’m obsessed. The author did more with my prompt than I could’ve hoped for, their style packs a hell of a lot of punch into a pretty condensed space — I love how they weight emotional/physical/reflective responses — and takes up complex issues (gender! Morality! Innocence! Trauma!) and handles them deftly all whilst also giving a post-LSH Brienne space she needs to grieve, and rage, and be bloody exhausted, and also be perfectly Brienne through it all: grappling with all she’s been through and all she wants to be and all she wants to still believe. so, like, ALL THAT, whilst ALSO having these pitch perfect notes of the relationship she has with Jaime, the relationship Jaime has with her, and how those two things need to come a bit more into alignment if they’re to move forward, and then a *chef’s kiss* of an ending that made me melt and punch the air in equal measure, as it hit a particular target of mine with precision. There’s also a very cathartic scene wherein some stuff happens but I don’t want to give it away but have been thinking about it pretty nonstop since it was posted...! ~enigmatic~ It was just all superb. This recommendation is roughly as coherent as my comment ~1.5 weeks ago, which maybe gives you an idea as to the feelings the fic instills. All in all, WORTH YOUR TIIIMMMEMEMEEE.

that would be enough  This fic!!! It is snappy, and I adored the Brienne and Jaime of this fic. The author captures a whole hell of a lot with the fewest of words (truly, how!!!) and it navigates, again, a post-LSH JB, and that complex thing between JB in a way that feels utterly visceral and true. Leaning into the profundity of their feelings for one another whilst also allowing how terrible they both are at speaking to said feelings, rather both being people of action and trying their best even when things don’t go exactly as they’d hoped (and sometimes even when they do), it’s just a damn satisfying read. There are these character notes throughout that I just wanted to linger in, and have done, on re-read, and anticipate doing time and again. It really is just a pleasure of a read that will nestle into you and linger.

Alternate universes

Love Isn’t a Sprint, It’s a Marathon  This fic is SO MUCH FUN. There are so many clever and delightful easter eggs and overlays from Jaime and Brienne’s Riverrun road trip onto a marathon (!) our two favourite dummies are running in modern Westeros, and it’s fucking GREAT. There are laugh out loud gags and moments, and emotional/romantic beats which land just when you want them, and the author’s style is pacy (running pun intended; this fic taught me things) and just carries you along so pleasingly. It also gifted me with visions of Jaime in a perfectly tussled bun and tight jogging outfit (in Lannister colours, ofc), and Brienne in her favourite blue sports bra, and to the author I say: thank you. The, hm, confounding (to Brienne) history between JB in this ‘verse is revealed throughout the fic, which works so well in conjunction with how the marathon experience is progressing their relationship, building up a satisfying tension between them and rewarding us with a fantastic end. I don’t want to give too much away, so have some emoji in lieu of spoilers: 🥳😍😂😍🔥🎉 🎉🎉😍🥰 also to this introvert, Brienne’s way of interacting with strangers on a marathon course is SO relatable, my god. This is one of those stories that just leaves you happy.

when the sun is coming through, you fill my head with you  This fic is a modern reconciliation/second chances fic with a great premise, and I basically had a meltdown about the author’s prose. It is STUNNING. The fic looks at a JB separated by several years after a botched (or was it?) overture made just before one of them leaves town. Brienne, soaked to the bone and injured after defending a person from four (4) muggers turns up on Jaime’s doorstep one night unannounced. Me, loving this: she went to him because she knew he’d look after her even after all this time 😭😭😭 Things proceed apace from there, and as I said in my comment: Jaime throughout all of this is this wonderful blend of capturing that energy he has with a softness that feels very true to the heart of him. And Brienne! There’s a line in the fic specifically about her which just... yes. The author also manages a really interesting spin on the “I’m strong enough” line, which I went head over heels for. Also I made so many noises while reading over the prose alone but it isn’t just beautiful (it is beautiful), it also weaves so well through character and the situation and omggggg. Make a cuppa and spend some time with this fic, it’s well worth it.

Multichapters

So I’m mostly saving multichapters at the moment, I did get involved in these two, both AUs:

The Shooting Party (complete) Another fic which made me lose my damn mind. The conceit is wonderful and fun and it was played to perfection, but honestly it was the way these two were written here which got me. Set in 1912 on a holiday weekend at the Stark estate, Brienne asks Jaime to pretend to be courting her in order to put off the man her father is bringing as a potential suitor: Hyle Hunt. Jaime agrees, with one two caveats. My comment on this fic was borderline incoherent but possibly the only sensible thing I said was that the author had got to the very heart of Brienne in her POV (she is the sole POV), was written with such evident love for the character, and it was just such pure joy to read. Everything we got of Jaime, too, was just exactly as one (me) might hope, particularly of the circumstances in the fic. I love him always, but particularly here 💖 Truly I literally finished reading this fic only a little while ago and am still processing but Y’ALL. I wanted to live there forever, I was stunned joyful. AND THE AUTHOR’S STYLE! Such a pleasure, my god. This fic expanded in my chest, and I’m trying to keep cozy that joyous feeling as long as possible.

Way Enough (WIP) Currently a WIP, this modern AU follows Brienne and Jaime as they reunite after years apart: the central setting so far has been a rowing boat house, and the author is incredibly evocative with their descriptions of... well everything, honestly, but the loving way they describe rowing is really such a pleasure to read. Jaime and Brienne in this is also great: a particular dynamic I always enjoy wherein Jaime is just so overjoyed to see Brienne again, and Brienne is, too, but in a far more reserved and tentative way. We’ve so far has two out of five chapters posted, but I’m really looking forward to where it’s going.

[totallypathet]

Episode Five

So I've been pretty disappointed with Drag Race this year (the pointlessness of episode 1, not having anyone go home until episode 4, the insistence to have a ~gag~ all the time, etc), but I love a ball challenge, and I wanna talk about it, so here we are 😂

I'm not even talking about that mini challenge, it was super dull and just weird. And ultimately didn't even mean anything? Like the winner didn't even get more time to pick materials for the ball, or anything? Super weird.

I think bags is such a cool idea; there's so many different materials that can be used, different colours and ideas and styles, I love it. I also like that they kind of went outside the box with a "pun" look, like it literally gives everyone the space to do whatever they want, and be funny. I loved seeing everyone's different interpretations and sense of humour as well. The Miss Moneybags look, they do everytime, I'm okay with that, I love seeing a sleek chic eleganza. I just wish they hadn't done this weird thing with the Coach bags??? Let's just be honest, Coach bags are ugly. And super boring. I do not understand them being forced to carry an ugly clutch, so I will be excluding all of those bags from my outfit critiques.

1. Denali

I loooved Denali's high fashion crash test dummy! I think "airbag" was a little bit of a reach, but I'll forgive it, she looked utterly incredible. That beige colour of the suit was so ugly, but I feel like it was meant to be? There's something so fashion to me about taking something that ugly and making it cool and sleek. And paired with the black & bright yellow? Chefs kiss.

Her second look was very Cruella DeVille, loved it. I loved the fascinator, I loved the long fingernail with the cigarette holder, and I loved that it was trousers with a big cape instead of a dress. It made it feel so modern, and so elegant. I was living.

I was kind of confused by her bag look. I love that she made this structure over her head out of bags (I assume handles?) That was super cool. I loved her face, using gems to make a Dia De Las Muertas sugar skull was a really cool idea. The dress just seemed a little...boring? Maybe I'm being unfair, they had a day and it had to be made out of bags, what am I expecting? I don't know. I kind of wish maybe there were more gems on the dress because she's used them on her face? I think my misgivings is that there just seemed to be a disconnect between the trellis & her face and the dress. From the neck up it was so cool and fashion forward, and then there was just a cute little dress? Not sure. I mean look, I'm super impressed that she made it, she did a good job in the time they were given, she did the assignment. Tick.

2. Elliott with Two Ts

You know what, I actually really enjoyed gift bag. Was it an incredible look that I gagged over and I'm going to be thinking about for days? No. Was it really cute and did it fit the challenge? Yes. Fair play to her, I respect it.

The moneybags look though? Seen it a thousand times. Seen it done infinitely better than that. Cool, you threw on an 80s power suit, and? I also feel like she walked in wearing that jacket. Come on Elliott, step it up.

I was thinking she was going to be in the bottom...then she came out in that third look. You're telling me that was a beanbag?! And she made a three piece outfit out of it?? In a day??? And it looked like that???? Shook. That jacket was so stunning, the attitude was perfect. Co-ords are very in fashion at the moment, we love a three piece in the same print. I'm so impressed by this third look. But it does make me question the first two - why is it that a look you made in one day out of a beanbag is leagues ahead of two looks you had time to plan and execute perfectly?

3. Gottmik

Body bag was everything. I loved it. My one thing is that I wish she'd kept that clear bag-jacket on just a little bit longer, maybe taken it off when she hit the end of the runway. It was a really cool part of the look and it didn't get it's full moment. Otherwise, it was perfect. Head empty, just love for Gottmik.

Okay, we can pack it up now - noone is ever going to top this look. This moneybags look is genuinely (I think) the best look that has ever been down the runway in 13 seasons of Drag Race, 6 seasons of All Stars, 2 seasons of Drag Race UK, and 1 season of Drag Race Canada. I literally applauded in my living room. The suit and the fringe, but that cut out for the bra, and the crystal pinstripe, and the e-girl hair, and the wide leg pant... everything about it was perfect. I could rewatch that runway for hours.

I was actually underwhelmed by her third look. I feel like, if it hadn't been a sewing challenge, if this had just been a fashion runway, or a rave runway, I would have absolutely loved it. I just feel like it was a bit low effort for a sewing challenge. It is very fashion, it's very chic, it's very modern, but it looked like she just cut triangles from those silver bags and stuck them down her leg. Knowing she went to fashion school, I just was expecting something more from a construction point of view. Its a shame, because her first two looks were absolute tens, and then this just didn't match up for me. I also wonder, would she have gotten away with this if she wasn't skinny? I don't buy that the judges would have gagged over it if it was on someone else's body.

I'm glad that she won, I think that second look alone deserved the win, but I just was disappointed by the third look. When you saw that and Utica's look side by side, it just showed up how much more Gottmik could have done, and I just think she cut herself a bit short. But it was still a great look, and she deserved the win!

4. Joey Jay

IV bag was...a choice. It was cool, in that nobody else did it, it was outside the box, and I appreciate that. It just didn't feel very well thought out. She had that deflated party city nurse hat on, and I was like are you the nurse or the patient? And she was talking about syringe armour, but there was like 6 syringes haphazardly hot glued on, and then the ivy leaves? I was just confused. When Carson made the IV/ivy connection, I got it, and then Joey was like "no, just the IV bag"? So why the ivy leaves? I was confused. Didn't enjoy it.

I didn't love her second look either. It was...a jacket and leggings. It was a nice jacket, don't get me wrong, but I feel like I could buy that look. In fact, I feel like I could make that look out of pieces I already own. Underwhelming.

That third look though. If Lala Ri's look hadn't been out there, this would have been the worst look of the night. It was so boring. You know what else? It looked like umbrellas. If this had been an umbrella challenge, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. But this was just. Awful.

She deserved to go this week. All three of her looks were underwhelming, her lipsync was just okay, it was her time.

5. Kandy Muse

Bag of tricks was cool, I love that she did actually bring some magic tricks to the runway, and I love that the bag became a cape! I just wish she'd leaned more into a magician look, as opposed to the rabbit. It just didn't feel like she went quite far enough.

I loved her interpretation of money bags! One of my favourite looks of the night. It was so different to what everyone else did, it was so modern, and so clever. The wig, made out of money? Amazing. The notes on the ends of her suspenders? Inspired. The dollar signs on the sunglasses? I loved it. This for me is the best thing Kandy has worn so far, I loved it. I think, without this look, she would have been in the bottom three. If the other two looks had been on par with this one? She would have won.

Kandy. Baby. What was that third look. I give her credit for the top, and the bra being two toned. It looked like there was some good construction there. But the skirt? Honey that was backpacks hot glued to a belt, and I'm not buying it. I was tossing up her and Tamisha for bottom three, because that look was honestly just bad.

I do love that Kandy is confident - although I agree with Tamisha and sometimes she crosses into arrogance - but also you've got to recognise when something is not good, and this wasn't good. When you just think that everything you've done is great because you did it, you're stepping into delusion.

6. Lala Ri

Bag of bones...yeah okay. I did really enjoy the mermaid silhouette being made of the sack at the bottom, that was a cool idea. I just wish she'd made more of the bones? Like I wish she'd made a sort of exo skeleton thing, like had a spine on the back, made a ribcage out of finger bones, had a big shoulder pad made of shoulder bones (the big flat ones, I know they have a name, but I failed biology at school). It just felt a bit rushed. If that had been the one she made, I would have been super impressed with it, they only get a day; but they had time in advance to get these designed and made. It just could have been so much more.

I loved her money bags look! I think it was one of my favourites of the night. It was so beautiful, so well put together, I loved the pairing with the shoes, and she actually was one of the only ones to make that Coach bag look decent. And I love a bald queen. There's not a lot of queens who would be brave enough to go bald with a look like that, but it just added such power and beauty. Absolutely adored it.

If I had "made" what Lala Ri made... I don't think I would have been able to walk it down the runway. I give her credit for actually walking in something that heinous. I just don't understand what she was thinking! Like she knew that she didn't have enough of those bags, so why didn't she take it apart and start again? Why didn't she go and pick up some more materials and do something else? Everything about this was just a nightmare. I feel like I could have made that in 5 minutes. I feel like I could have made something better in an hour. I love Lala so much, but my god she deserved to be bottom 2 this week! She pulled it out in the lipsync, she is an amazing performer. I'm just disappointed in what she made, it literally looks like she got dragged through a bag hedge backwards. I expect to see better next week, Lala!

7. Olivia Lux

Punching bag was gorgeous, but its such a shame Symone had already done basically the same look like 2 episodes ago. It was beautiful, and she looked stunning (as always), I just felt sad for her that this had already been done this season. Also, having seen other photos of her in this look, where she had a black eye and a busted lip, I wish she'd done it more like that. Symone already gave us the model version, I wish Olivia had given us more of a gritty post-fight look - with like messed up hair, a black eye, maybe some rips in the clothes, just something to distance it from what Symone did.

I loved her second look. It was a power suit, but with a beautiful modern twist! I love the cape jacket and capris, it was so chic! And I love that the lining of the Cape matched the tie, that level of detail is what I love about Olivia. It was such a smart choice, and she was the only other queen to make those Coach bags look good 😂

Her third look, it was okay. I love Olivia, but it was a bra and panty. I give her credit for the sleeves, I loved them, but I just wish she'd done a little bit more with the bodice, and added something on the bottom maybe? She looked beautiful, she always looks beautiful, I was just hoping for something a little more.

8. Rosé

I loved bagpipes! Very cool look, very Rosé, she's already told us about her Scottish heritage, this is really on brand - perfect. No critiques; it was clean, well done, she looked beautiful, tick.

I think Rosé was unfortunate that she came out right after Gottmik. I dont know if her look, by itself, was actually that bad, but when you put it next to what Gottmik did, it just looked so boring. And also, 80s powersuit look, again. It was cute, it fit her nicely, but it wasn't fashion or eleganza. It was really disappointing for me.

I really enjoyed her third look, I loved the movement she created with those round bags on the bottom. Again, I feel like she did the assignment, she looked beautiful. I dont know that I would have put her in the top this week. I feel like every look just had something missing.

9. Symone

Funbags was cute! She played it up really well, presented it in a fun way. It was a beautiful dress as well, the feathers of the bottom was a lovely touch. Did she look beautiful? Absolutely. Was it the best look on the runway? No. I liked it, I didn't love it. We've seen better from Symone.

Her second look? This is the level I expected from Symone. The second she turned the corner, I loved it. So sleek, so fashion; it's exactly what I picture the CEO of a Gen Z fashion house to be wearing. I just loved it. This look, for me, saved Symone from the bottom three. It was so perfect.

Symone better have bought Lala Ri a huge drink after this. If not for Lala Ri's, hers would have been the worst construction on the runway. It was veery basic, and the only reason she got away with it is because she's skinny and beautiful. She was saved only by her second look, and Lala Ri. I love Symone, but she's better than this!

10. Tamisha Iman

I really liked the Old Bag! She knew she was gonna be one of the oldest there, she played into it! She did something very different to the others, she's hammed it up, she played a character, I really enjoyed it! The suit was incredible, I loved the big necklace, it was a big tick for me.

Her second look...I love Tamisha so much. She looked like an air stewardess. Did she look beautiful? Of course. Did she look rich and elegant and chic and fashion? No. She also has a thing with these long dark brown/black wigs that are really flat and just sort of hang down. I would have lived an updo with this look, I feel like it would have just elevated it a little bit.

I actually quite liked Tamisha's third look! It was busy, I get that. I loved the top of it though, the bustier and the shoulder, I loved! The skirt was maybe a little much, but she made a complete dress out of bags, it was fitted beautifully, she looked stunning, I really enjoyed it! Her makeup was a little off somehow, I can't quite pinpoint how, but it just wasn't quite right. I don't think she deserved to be bottom three to be honest, but maybe I'm biased because I love her so much.

I also didn't really understand the critiques she was given this week, like it felt like they just said she's not...drag enough? But she gave us so much range? Like there were 3 very distinct looks, she looked good in them, what's the problem? I get that the looks didn't really hit the challenge, and that's why she was in the bottom, but that critique is so confusing to me. Like what is "drag enough"? This show constantly praises queens for being "fishy" and looking hyper feminine, but when Tamisha is doing it it doesn't fly? I don't get it.

11. Tina Burner

I was a little disappointed with Brown Bag. I got the reference, I liked the dress, I loved the mermaid tail being made of bottles, that was super cool. I didn't get the presentation. She was walking like she was wasted, but her hair & makeup was perfect, the dress was still on straight; that didn't make sense to me. I feel like she should have been a little bit more "end of the night" looking, with messy hair and smudged makeup, maybe some mascara tear tracks, because who can get that drunk without crying? Not me, that's for damn sure. It was good, it wasn't great.

Okay, another 80s power suit moment. I liked it more than Elliott's or Rosé's; purely for the hat and the houndstooth. I love a good houndstooth print, it does always look expensive, I get what she was going for. What I found disappointing (and I can't believe I'm saying this) Eureka did it better in season 10. I just feel like I've seen this before, and I'm bored of it.

I was also bored by her third look. It was a red mini dress with suspenders. Like, I'm impressed that she made it in a day, but I just wish she'd gone for something more. I'm really not getting all that much from Tina at the moment, and I just keep hoping she'll pull something out, but so far I just haven't been getting what I want.

12. Utica Queen

Hear me out, I loved Doggy Bag. It was so cool! She looked like a dog without putting on a dog costume, there was just enough hints to give us dog, but it was still a really cool and chic look! Which is exactly what a poodle would wear if they were human! I loved it. My one thing about Utica is that she makes these faces that are so bizarre. I think it's her mouth, it takes it past being a runway presentation into being a weird parody, and I don't think she means to do that. She just needs to tone it down a tiny bit.

I loved her little nod to Chicago. I didn't exactly get "money bags" from it, but Utica is very lateral and outside the box, so it was nice to see her interpretation of eleganza. I liked a lot, but I didn't quite love it.

I was gagged on Utica's third look. She made a gown. Out of sleeping bags. And it looked stunning. The shape of it was gorgeous, the train was amazing, the hood into a collar was incredible. Just every part of this look was exactly what this challenge is about. She took plain old sleeping bags, and made them into a beautiful, elegant and fashionable gown. You know where I wish I'd seen this? At the Camp theme Met Gala. It would have been one of the best looks at that Met Gala, and it was one of the best looks on this runway. I think it was by far the best of the looks they had to make. In fact, I think it's one of the best ever looks that was made in the werk room.

I am so glad that I was wrong about Utica in the first week. I think she's amazing. She's campy, and she's funny, and she's weird, but she's also so beautiful, and she's had some incredible looks on the runway.

This week was such a mixed bag (get it?) of looks - I feel like only Mik and Utica had three really good looks, everyone else was really up and down. I think it was definitely the right two queens lipsyncing, but there was a few candidates who could have arguably been the third in the bottom three - Tamisha, Kandy, Tina, Elliott... I can see the argument for all of them. I also think I would have replaced Rosé in the top three with Denali, I just think her first two looks were better than Rosé's.

I dont really want to get into the Kandy vs Tamisha drama; I think Drag Race is a super high pressure environment, I think its inevitable that tensions will run high and queens will argue. The one thing I do want to say is that in untucked, when Tamisha was saying she didn't really like Kandy's attitude, she said (something like) "that's just my opinion, and who am I? Nobody." And honestly, I respect the hell out of that. Because like, of course we're all entitled to our opinions, but that doesn't mean anyone should listen to them. Like, this whole post is just my opinions on stuff, I don't expect anyone to agree with me, or take any of this as fact. I just loved that Tamisha recognised that her opinion, whilst a valid opinion, is not fact and doesn't need to be considered by anyone else. I don't think Kandy recognises that yet, especially given the way she spoke to Elliott. I think that comes with age and experience though. By the way, that's not me saying that Tamisha's right and Kandy is wrong, I'm just pointing out one specific behaviour that Tamisha showed that I don't think Kandy has yet.

Also, I've seen both Kandy and Tamisha getting ridiculous amounts of hate for this one argument, and that's so unacceptable. Sending hate and death threats to queens over their performance on a reality TV show is disgusting, and if you are a person who has done that, you need to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and ideally get some therapy.

[purrincess-chat]

Will You Be My (Fake) Lover CH5

It’s here! Finally! Are you excited? Get excited! Canon who? We don’t know her. And truthfully, she doesn’t even really know herself

Read on AO3

Chapter 5

“Has the Prince of Gabriel brand found his Princess? Exclusive interview inside!”

Lila glared down at the magazine in her lap as she sat on her usual park bench waiting. On the cover was Adrien down on one knee fitting Marinette’s foot with a glass slipper. It seemed as though they were more committed to this lie than she originally thought, but she could use this to her advantage. The more people invested in their relationship, the harder they’d crash when they finally fell, and she couldn’t wait to watch.

I: What’s your favorite quality about Marinette?

A: How kind she is. She’s always thinking of others before herself, and I admire that so much.

Lila could gag. All this pretending had to be eating Marinette up inside knowing that none of those things were true. That Adrien didn’t love her. Perhaps if she prodded her enough, Lila could get Marinette to snap. That would ruin any possible chance she had with him after this. Lila may have run into a detour with Marinette’s friends, but taking Adrien away from her permanently was worth the extra effort. That way there wouldn’t be anyone else to save her next time.

“There’s been a change of plans,” Gabriel’s voice sounded behind her. “Many people are quite pleased with my son’s relationship with Miss Dupain-Cheng, so I’m afraid that I cannot hold up our bargain.”

“Don’t worry. I have something else to offer you, Mr. Agreste,” Lila said. “I have reason to believe that Marinette and Adrien are faking their relationship.”

“And what evidence do you have to support such claims?” Gabriel asked, quirking a brow.

“I’m working on it, and I assure you I’ll be able to prove it if I attend the Agreste Foundation gala coming up soon,” she said with a sly smile.

“I’ll put you on the guest list, but I feel your suspicions may be a misguided cover up for your jealousy. If you cannot prove their relationship is a farce by the end of the gala, then perhaps it’s best if you and I cease negotiations,” Gabriel said, and Lila whipped around to face him.

“But-”

“I have no need for petty schoolyard drama especially at the expense of my son’s reputation. You have until the end of the gala in three weeks to prove your claims, Miss Rossi,” Gabriel said with a finality before rolling up the window.

As the car drove off, Lila’s jaw clenched, her hands gripping the magazine so tightly the sides crinkled between her fingers. She glanced down at the pages of her spread to find them overrun with Marinette and Adrien’s adoring smiles, the singular image of herself caught in the folds of the page. Rage boiled from her core up to her throat, and she tossed the magazine with a scream.

Gabriel wanted proof? She’d get him proof.

***

“Good evening, beautiful.”

Adrien smiled at Marinette as she entered his bedroom, seated at his piano while his fingers moved across the keys and filled the room with a soft melody. Nathalie stood off to the side to supervise, but Marinette found her attention drawn to the bouquet of roses resting atop the piano.

“They’re for you,” Adrien said, following her gaze, and she blinked, cheeks heating up.

“What for?” She asked, trailing her fingers over the petals.

“Do I need a reason?” He chuckled. “You deserve them, that’s why. You’re smart and kind, and you make me happy. That’s all the reason I need.”

She knew he was hamming it up because Nathalie was in the room, but she couldn’t help the smile on her lips. Fake or not, it was the first time anyone had given her flowers, and she had a feeling they carried a message of genuine gratitude for helping him as well.

“Thank you. They’re beautiful,” she said.

“They have tough competition.” He winked, his fingers trilling out a new melody, faster, lighter, sweeter than before, and Marinette bit her lip. “They’re also an invitation.”

“Oh?” Marinette quirked a brow.

“The Agreste Foundation has a formal event coming up soon, and I was hoping you’d be my date,” he said. “It’s a lot of boring adult stuff usually, but if you were there, it would be way more fun.”

“Of course, I’ll go with you,” she said, and Adrien relaxed a little, a content smile curling on his lips as he flicked his gaze back down to the keys. “I actually have an invitation for you too. My parents want to have you over for dinner one night when you’re free since you’re my first ever boyfriend.”

“Really?” Adrien stopped playing, his hands freezing on the keys as discordant notes squealed, and Nathalie cleared her throat, urging him to continue playing. “Sorry. Can you check my schedule, Nathalie?”

She scrolled through her tablet without looking up, the blue light reflecting off the lenses of her glasses.

“You have free time on Thursday after dinner, so I will let the chef know you will be dining elsewhere that evening,” she said, and Adrien perked up.

“Thank you, Nathalie!” He beamed, and Marinette offered her a small smile of thanks. Nathalie nodded in acknowledgement before flicking her gaze back to her tablet, and Adrien continued playing.

Marinette took a seat on the bench beside him, closing her eyes as the melody echoed around the room. Even if it wasn’t real, Marinette was happy getting to spend so much time with him. In a way, she felt like they were closer than they’d ever been, and most of her nerves had been squashed from the very first time they kissed. Knowing that Adrien felt comfortable enough with her to go through with all of this in the first place said enough about their relationship. Maybe there was hope for her after all.

She blinked her eyes open at the brush of skin against her own as Adrien reached an arm around her to play the keys at the end. He smiled at her as he trailed his fingers along, pulling her in closer, and she giggled as he nuzzled his nose against her cheek.

Moments like this made her wonder if his feelings would ever change. The softness in his eyes as he plucked a rose from the bouquet and offered it to her seemed so real, and the tender way he touched his lips to her cheek made her heart skip at the thought. She loved him so much, and more than anything, she wanted him to love her too. And why couldn’t she? There was no harm in wanting or hoping. In the end, she’d only hurt herself, so why not?

“You have five more minutes,” Nathalie said, and Adrien flicked his gaze back to the keys, seeming a little disappointed.

“I feel like time moves too quickly when I’m with you. I always find myself wishing we could have just a few more minutes,” he said as the song came to a close. “I don’t feel like a very good boyfriend.”

“I don’t mind. Whenever I get to see you and for however long, I treasure every moment,” she said, turning his chin to face her and cupping his cheek. “You’re an amazing boyfriend.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He frowned, leaning into her touch. “It’s just hard to say goodbye all the time.”

Marinette felt her cheeks warm under his gaze as Nathalie’s watch beeped, signaling the end of their visit. It was moments like these that made her head spin. He seemed so sincere that even she had a hard time figuring out if he was pretending or not.

“Thanks again for the roses,” she said at the front door, glancing down at them.

“A beautiful girl deserves beautiful things,” Adrien said with a smile before leaning down to kiss her good night.

One hand cupped her face, his thumb tenderly tracing her jaw as the other hand pulled her closer at the waist. It was a stark contrast to the way he had kissed her just a few nights prior at the party. He was so gentle and delicate as if she were a flower he didn’t want to damage, and such tender affections only made her heart beat faster.

“Good night, beautiful,” he murmured against her lips when they parted.

Gabriel watched from his office door, lips pursed as Adrien slid his hand down her arm, twining their fingers until they were forced apart as Marinette was escorted out, remembering similar such nights with Emilie all those years ago. He’d give anything for those nights now, and he envied Adrien a little for getting to spend time with the girl he loved so dearly. It made Emilie’s condition weigh so much heavier on his heart.

“Adrien is very sweet to her,” Nathalie said when she entered a few minutes later as Gabriel sat with his chin resting on his fist in thought. “I got what you asked for.”

Gabriel arched a brow as Nathalie presented him a small pink sketchbook, and he flipped through each page of colorful designs with a blank expression.

“Do you think you’ll have time to design her a dress and have it made before the gala?” Nathalie asked as Gabriel paused on a page, tapping his finger.

“It seems as though Miss Marinette already has the perfect dress,” he remarked, setting the notebook in his lap and snapping a picture with his phone.

“Will you modify it at all?” Nathalie asked as he closed the cover and offered it back to her.

“I don’t believe in tampering with another artist’s vision. The dress is fine as is, and it will mean more as a gesture of good faith in their relationship if we replicate it as she designed it,” Gabriel said. “See to it that Adrien returns her sketchbook.”

“Yes, sir.” Nathalie nodded before retreating from the room.

Adrien was in sitting at his desk when Nathalie peeked in, a content smile on his face as he typed on his phone. It had been a while since she’d seen him so happy. Not since Emilie was still around. His eyes lit up more these days, and his entire countenance changed any time Marinette was around. It was clear to see how much he cared for her. Just like Emilie, Adrien wore his emotions on his face, and Nathalie was glad to see him happy for once.

“Adrien?” She knocked.

“Come in.”

“I found this on the stairs. It must have fallen from Marinette’s bag,” she said. “Can you return it to her?”

“Of course. Thank you, Nathalie,” Adrien said, setting it next to his textbooks. “Also…would it be possible to finally go on a double date with my friends? I know you’re already making so many accommodations so Marinette can see me, but it would mean a lot to me if I could take her out properly.”

Nathalie observed his pleading expression before a smile broke over her lips.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said before taking her leave.

Adrien sat back in his chair, drumming his fingers on the arms of the chair before a cheeky grin curled on his lips. He reached for his phone, snapping a picture of the notebook.

guess what i have? He typed, chuckling to himself as he awaited her response.

how?? She replied a few seconds later.

Nathalie found it on the stairs. it must have fallen out of your bag. ill give it to you tomorrow. He said.

Thanks!

but not before i look through it. He said with a smiling devil emoji.

no! some of them arent finished yet!

you’re so talented. I’m sure they’re all great.

Her reply was a worried face.

can I peek? just a little?

ok but dont laugh! She said.

why would I laugh?

some of them are old and silly…

like this one? Adrien attached a drawing dated a couple years prior of a small Marinette in a dress with pink bows, and her response was a monkey covering its eyes.

I think it’s cute! He said with a heart.

it’s embarrassing!

dont be embarrassed. everyone starts somewhere you should have seen me when I started taking fencing lessons for the first time. I barely knew how to put my helmet on. He said then added, you’re really talented. all of your new designs look amazing you’ve improved a lot.

I guess… She said with a sweat drop.

well, I know. you’re incredible, and I’m lucky to have a girlfriend as awesome as you. He said, watching her typing bubble.

you’re pretty awesome too. You’re really smart and athletic and sweet and hot.

I mean!

Objectively speaking

You’re a model so like

of course you’re hot

but it’s not like I’m really saying you’re hot

You are but

in a totally normal way!

Adrien chuckled at her text stream, feeling oddly amused.

Thanks. You’re pretty hot too. ;) He said.

I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT!

why not? I’m flattered.

…

But I have a question though. He said.

?

Am I hotter than this? He sent a picture of a candle.

why?

ya know. because flames are hot ;)

I’m breaking up with you. She said with a laughing face.

no don’t break up with me! I’m hot D:

all this time I thought you were cool… She said.

Well that was your first mistake im super lame.

Youre not lame! just your jokes.

wow! after I compliment your designs and you insult my jokes. that’s cold Marinette.

She sent a laughing face and heart in response.

I would have been more impressed if you asked if I could bake cookies on you since youre so hot and my parents are bakers. She said.

teach me more oh wise and hilarious queen of jokes.

fine. I guess ill train you. She said with an eyeroll.

I am honored

She sent back another laughing face, and he bit his lip and changed the topic.

this dress is really beautiful. He said sending a picture.

thanks! I got inspired after our photoshoot and wanted to design a princessy ballgown. I really like how it came out.

I bet youd look beautiful in it

Her typing bubble flashed for several minutes, disappearing every so often for a few seconds before returning.

thanks. She said finally.

can I ask a favor? He typed.

what?

will you design something for me? It can be anything I just want it to be from you. He asked.

Of course! Id love to make something for you!

yay! :) He paused for a moment before adding, one more thing?

yes?

Can we keep talking for a while? You and I are friends but theres still a lot I don’t know about you. Plus it will be good for us to know stuff about each other.

He held his breath as he watched her typing bubble.

sure. what do you wanna know?

everything :)

They talked for hours during which time he learned that she liked gardening, watching makeup tutorials, and meditating with her mom. She was deathly afraid of snakes. She had a scar on her left foot from when she was 7, and she secretly liked to sneak fresh cookies when her dad wasn’t looking. It was the first time he’d really opened up to someone about himself too. He told her things even Nino didn’t know, and he fell asleep that night smiling at his phone.

The next morning, he sent her a good morning text and resumed their conversation as he prepared for the day. As it turned out, Marinette was not a morning person which he already assumed from the many times she came to school late. It was kind of amusing to picture – a sleepy Marinette clinging to her pillow as she begged for a few more minutes. Incredibly cute.

At school, he peeked around the row of lockers, watching her smile down at his most recent text as she typed a reply. The fondness in her expression made his heart flutter, and he jumped a little as his phone buzzed.

are you going to hold my sketchbook hostage all day? where are you? She asked.

turn around. He said, and he crept up behind her as she read the message.

“Boo!” He pinched her sides, and she startled with a gasp, spinning around to face him.

“Oh, you finally showed up,” she said with a grin, cheeks pink from his prank. “Do you have my sketchbook?”

“Oh, was I supposed to bring that?” He tilted his head to the side before retrieving it from his bag with a smirk. “Returned safe and sound.”

“Thank you,” she giggled as he kissed it softly before handing it over.

“I wrote you something inside,” he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “You mean so much to me I wanted to express it, so read it later when you get home, okay?”

“O-Okay!”

“Nino, remind me to call my dentist. I think I’m getting a cavity from sugar overload,” Alya called out as they approached. “You two are seriously cute.”

“Yeah, bro, you make me look bad,” Nino said, fist bumping Adrien.

“Sorry, but I have good news,” Adrien said. “Nathalie is clearing my schedule Saturday afternoon so we can all go on a date finally.”

“Whoa, legit? That’s awesome, dude!” Nino patted his shoulder.

“We can all go do an escape room together then get ice cream afterward,” Alya said, clapping her hands together. “We’ve been dying to go do one, but it’s way more fun with more people.”

“Yeah, sounds awesome,” Adrien said. “It’s our first official date. I can’t wait.”

“Only took your pops a month to let up.” Nino rolled his eyes, and Adrien sighed.

“Honestly, that’s quicker than I thought he would. I thought we’d have to wait until I turned 18 and moved out,” Adrien joked as they headed to class.

Lila glared around the row of lockers as they left, jaw clenching. She was losing momentum trying to prove their façade. The longer this went on, the more confident they were becoming, and the easier it was to fake it. She’d have to find some dirt on them during their date, or else the gala would be her last shot at getting favors from Gabriel.

***

“Is all of this really necessary?” Marinette asked as her father set the table.

“We’re having your first boyfriend over for dinner. I’m just trying to make sure he feels welcome,” Tom said, placing oven mitt-covered hands on his hips.

“By fattening him up? You’ve made enough food for 10 people!” Marinette gestured to the large ham and numerous sides covering the table.

“He’s a growing boy, and if he wants to date a baker’s daughter then he must know how to eat,” Roland added.

“Not to mention she’s part Italian. He will have to get used to big meals with family if he wants to stay,” Gina said, pinching Marinette’s cheek.

“Just promise me you guys will be cool. Don’t embarrass me,” Marinette pleaded, and Sabine flashed her a reassuring smile.

“We’re all just excited for you, sweetie. Adrien is a nice young man, and we just want him to know he’s accepted here,” her mother said, cupping her cheek.

“We will show him what a real family dinner looks like. Not the quiet lonesome dinners he gets at home. That’s not how it’s done!” Roland crossed his arms over his chest.

“Just don’t show him my baby pictures. Please?” Marinette pressed her palms together as the doorbell sounded.

“He’s here! Go let him in, my fairy,” Gina urged, and Marinette took a deep breath before opening the door.

“Hey.” Adrien smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheeks and planting a soft kiss on her nose before holding up another bouquet. “I brought you these.”

“Oh, how romantic. What a sweet boy,” Gina cooed, and Marinette screwed on a smile despite the tension in her spine.

“Adrien, you’ve met my grandma,” Marinette said. “This is my grandfather.”

“A pleasure to meet you, sir,” Adrien said, shaking his hand.

“A firm handshake. Very good, the boy knows how it’s done. I’m glad to see a younger generation keeping up tradition. You will make a fine husband to Marinette,” Roland commented.

“Grandpa!” Marinette puffed her cheeks.

“Roland, they’re only 14,” Sabine said pointedly.

“Puh, ‘only 14.’ My grandparents were 16 when they married. They wanted to marry before my grandfather had to go fight in the war!” Roland said, and Marinette sighed as she retrieved a vase for her bouquet.

“Oh, why rush to settle down? Let them live a little,” Gina said with an eye roll.

“Mom’s right. They can get married when they’re ready,” Tom added as they sat down, and Marinette’s face fell into her hand.

Adrien eyed her, a small smile curling on his lips.

“I’d only marry Marinette if I truly make her happy. She’s a wonderful girl, and she deserves the best,” he said, and everyone in the room cooed in unison, clutching their hearts.

Marinette peeked out between her fingers, and Adrien shot her a wink.

“So, tell us more about you, dear. What does Adrien like to do?” Gina prompted as Tom served the first course.

“Well, I’m a model for my father’s fashion company. I play sports and piano, and I’ve also been taking Chinese lessons since I was little,” Adrien listed.

“My, my so busy,” Gina remarked.

“What sports do you play?” Roland asked.

“Mainly fencing, but also basketball, lacrosse, and karate,” he said, counting them on his fingers.

“How do you ever find time to spend with Marinette?” Roland’s eyebrows raised, and Adrien cast her a fond smile.

“I make time. She’s so important to me.” He placed a hand over hers.

“With how sweet you are, we may not even need dessert,” Gina said with a laugh.

“Marinette is very easy to be with. She’s so genuine and caring, all I want to do is make her smile.” Adrien batted his eyelashes at her, and she bit back a smirk, pushing his chin with her finger.

“You are such a schmooze,” she teased.

“Well, I’m glad to see my granddaughter has chosen such a fine young man to court,” Roland said. “Your children will be very successful. I can feel it.”

“Roland, they’re only in college,” Sabine chided.

“You and I met in college. Don’t you remember, dear?” Tom said, wrapping an arm around her. “I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that I wanted to marry you someday. I’m sure it’s the same for Marinette and Adrien.”

“Dad!” Marinette growled.

“Tom.” Sabine gave him a warning look.

“That’s for them to decide in a few years, I know.” He held up defensive hands.

“Oh, what’s the rush. Not everyone has to settle down so young. I think they should travel a bit while they can,” Gina said. “If you two are still together when you’re 18 and no longer under papa’s radar then I will take you both on a trip! Greece is so beautiful in the summer, ah, who am I kidding? It is gorgeous all year. You kids need to see the world.”

“That sounds fun. I’d love to travel,” Adrien said, and Gina nodded knowingly.

“Of course, you would, dear. The world is a big place. I’d offer to take you sooner, but I understand your papa is…strict.” She winced, and Adrien quirked a brow as if to say that was an understatement. “Marinette and I are going to Italy for her next birthday. I’m so excited for you to see my home, my fairy.”

“I can’t wait either, grandma,” Marinette reached out to take her hand.

“Your dad won’t let you travel, but maybe he’ll let you come spend Christmas with us this year. We always pass out yule logs down in the bakery before we have a big Christmas dinner,” Tom said.

“I’d like that a lot.” Adrien smiled.

“When is your next fencing tournament? Maybe we’ll take a little time off to come watch you,” Sabine offered.

“In 2 weeks, but you don’t have to do that. I’m sure you’re very busy.” Adrien held up cautioning hands.

“Nonsense. We always have time to support family.” Tom patted his shoulder.

“Oh! I have a friend in London who is a great pianist. I can introduce you to him. Maybe he can give you some pointers,” Gina added.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks, Mrs. Dupain.”

“So formal. Call me Grandma or Nonna,” Gina insisted, waving it away.

“When you have time, you and Marinette should come by my house. I can teach you how to make bread the old-fashioned way,” Roland said.

“Oh, yeah. Thank you.” Marinette eyed Adrien who seemed to curl into himself. “You’re all so kind. Thank you for inviting me into your home.”

“But of course, my fairy. You are our family now,” Gina said as Roland cut him a slice of bread.

Adrien eyed it on his plate in silence as the conversation shifted, and after a moment, Marinette reached out to place a hand over his. He jumped a little at her touch, flicking his gaze to hers. She raised a brow at him, and he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before turning back to his meal.

He was perfectly polite during dinner, and to Marinette’s relief, a surprisingly good sport amidst all of the marriage discussions. But Marinette could tell something was off. The slight intonation of his voice, the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes…He seemed sad almost, but he did what he always did: hid it until they were alone.

“I’ll bring the hot chocolate up when it’s ready,” Sabine called as Marinette and Adrien headed up the stairs to her room.

Adrien remained quiet as he climbed up to her balcony, leaning against the railing with a sigh.

“Sorry. I know they’re a lot to deal with,” she said, awkwardly shoving her hands into her pockets.

“Actually, I really liked it,” he said, staring out over the street. “This was the warmest and most inviting dinner I’ve ever had.”

“Then what’s wrong?” She asked, and he trained those tortured eyes on her. “Hey-”

“I can’t do this.” He shook his head. “Your family is so kind and loving, and they care about you. They want to take me on trips and come to my fencing tournaments. Your dad wants me to spend Christmas with you! All because they believe we’re in love. Doesn’t it drive you mad?”

Marinette averted her gaze, and he ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t do this. They were so kind to me, and all I’ve ever done is lie about loving you,” he said, pressing his lips together. “They’ll be devastated when they find out, and I don’t want to hurt them.”

“Adrien…” Marinette started, pacing over to him. “I know the risks of all of this, and I made my mind up when I decided to help you. From the very first time we kissed in front of everyone, I committed to this.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But nothing,” she said, cupping his face in her hand. “I agreed to this because I wanted to help you. Because…I care about you.”

“Marinette…” He winced. “You’re important to me too. That’s why I can’t hurt the people you love.”

“Who says you’re going to?” She held her arms out. “In a few months when things die down, we can announce that we broke up mutually and that there are no hard feelings then continue being friends. No one ever has to know.”

Adrien searched her expression before lowering his gaze to his shoes with a sigh.

“I really don’t deserve a friend like you,” he said with a short laugh. “You really are amazing, Marinette, and I hope you know how much you mean to me.”

She pulled him in for a tight hug, and he leaned into her embrace. In that moment, he felt so fragile, and she wished that she could take all of that hurt. It was hard enough living with her own pain, but somehow knowing Adrien cared for her this much hurt worse. That he would rather be unhappy than hurt her or her family. She was falling more in love with him the longer this went on, and she knew that it would destroy her in the end. But she didn’t care. If she could alleviate his torment even for a little while, she’d do it in a heartbeat.

“I have Gina’s world-famous hot chocolate- oh!” Sabine paused in the window upon seeing their pained embrace. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Adrien said, pulling away and running a hand across his cheek. “I just got emotional. You’ve all been so wonderful and inviting, and I’m not used to that.”

“Oh, honey,” Sabine said, setting the tray on the table and cupping his face. “No matter your circumstances, you are always loved here.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Dupain-Cheng. I’ve had a wonderful time here tonight,” he said with a genuine smile.

“I’m glad to hear it. My husband and in-laws can be…a lot to handle,” Sabine said with an apologetic wince.

“It’s okay. I know they’re just happy for us,” Adrien said, wrapping an arm around Marinette’s waist, and Sabine smiled.

“Enjoy the hot chocolate, you two. It’s a pretty night out,” she said before climbing back down.

“Thank you,” Adrien said once her footsteps faded. “I feel like I don’t say that to you enough.”

“You’re my friend, Adrien. I’ve got your back,” Marinette said, and Adrien smiled, leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you,” he repeated softly, and Marinette’s face warmed.

“You’re welcome,” she said, passing him a mug.

“To friendship,” he declared, holding it up, and Marinette eyed him a moment before clanking her mug against his.

“To friendship.”

[captain-aralias]

Creators: give a “behind the scenes” look at one of your works. This could be things that got removed or changed, the origins of ideas/details, whatever you like!

oh hey - it’s trivia tuesday already (i guess it’s been a long two days back at work this week). i know everyone is still working their way through the remixes that are finished and posted - and i say, do this! some cracking stuff. i’m over half way through now, and i want to write up some thoughts about how these 26 stories approached remix - because it’s super inventive. i think people benefited from not being familiar with the format.

but i also wanted to share my thinking around why i picked the fic to remix that i did - and what else i was considering from @bazzybelle‘s ficlist, because i think the thought process around remix is interesting. AND i wanted to show you the 500 words i wrote almost immediately of a completely different remix that i definitely won’t finish. it would have been... a publishing AU, fake relationship with too-early-in-the-relationship sex. all good things in a fic, right?

so - read on for deleted scenes, and discussion of thought process. and don’t read on, if that’s not your jam. 

(in general remember - i’m keen to leave stuff in the original that’s good, rather than just thieve everything. so that’s my thought process here.) 

first idea: 

I Just Want Your Extra Time And Your .....

(texting, sex chat). i already really liked this fic, and i have IRL experience of working in publishing (which you’ll see to some extent in the fic - i worked very near people who worked on celebrity cookbooks, which is what baz works on in the fic) (the launch party is not revealed to be at the groucho club in the bit i wrote, but would have been - and i’ve been there/i know soho, so ... that was all appealing)

my idea was: the original is a text fic, mine isn’t, although they still only know each other through the sex chat set-up. so instead of simon and baz having text-sex (as in the fic), baz asks simon [who he's never met] to come and be his fake date at a publishing launch party where he sees lamb, his former boyfriend. 

the trigger for simon and baz progressing with their relationship/having sex (Because they were going to have sex but IRL) would be the same - baz seeing lamb and freaking out. and some of the texts would be literally copied and pasted in my fic as backstory. 

here were my original notes:

in the original fic there's a bit where baz sees lamb, his ex boyfriend, and then is like - hey, simon distract me and they have phone sex

my fic will essentially start there - baz is at a launch party for one of his books, lamb is there - dating the author. it is awful. baz wants to leave, but can't. also, it's time for the text slot with simon - he goes and hides in a cloakroom

and is texting simon, it's terrible - i am so drunk and it's still terrible. and i think simon offers (rather than baz asks) to come and pretend to be his boyfriend

for some sort of plausible denial reason like baz will text him a lot over hte next few days so he'll get a lot of extra money or some shit, but also because simon thinks lamb is a dick even through teh messages

simon shows up - they both drink a lot. they like each other, simon punches lamb (probably). baz asks if he can take simon to a restaurant, they talk more - they kiss. they go back to a hotel together. they discuss whether or not this means that simon is a prostitute (no). they have sex IRL

baz wakes up - and leaves immediately, obviously.

they text again the next day - it's awkward. simon thinks about how he could track baz down if he wanted to - but he feels like baz doesn't want him to, so he doesn't

simon gets out of his horrible job - baz probably tries to get in touch with him, but can't because he's gone. simon gets a message from baz ....... this is still to be determined

anyway - i will probably steal the meet cute in the elevator, it's nice.

why i stopped writing it: 

i knew it was going to take ages to write - i didn’t have the time or brainspace to write 20k of fic. i’d assumed going in that i could lean on the original fic to provide the meetcute, but realised that since it was an AU, i still needed to sell the relationship - particularly given that they were meeting in real life for the first time in my fic. 

also, it would have been my first mundane AU for the fandom, and my first thing where they weren’t enemies first. (so i was trying to think about how i could get them not to like each other a bit WHILE STILL doing fake dating - and it was throwing me off). it was all just too much.

everything i’ve written is pasted for you at the bottom.

other ideas: 

a month passed. i didn’t write any more on my original remix, but went back to greener grass instead. i sent out the month warning email to remixees and thought - i am not going to finish this fic. 

so, i went back to the list of bazzybelle’s fic and thought what can i write that i can definitely write in a month? 

1. You're F***in' Perfect to Me - daphne POV

i thought, i could write this from malcolm's POV.  in the fic daphne talks a lot about how she and malcolm are just friends, rather than true love, and it's baz she has real (motherly) feelings for, not malcolm. so i thought i could write 'the courtship of mrs grimm' where malcolm gets a wake-up call from this argument, and thinks, i actually do love daphne but she likes my son more than me. he's been hiding behind not wanting to sully natasha's memory, etc, etc. fiona would probably be in it. 

2. bat baz

i also had a bit of a naff idea where instead of baz turning into a bat, in bat baz, he would turn into bat man... 

(interestingly one of the remixes was about baz turning into a cat) 

3. If I Fell In Love With You - which i eventually chose

i took the dancing and the music, the set up, and the theme of communication - also some dialogue. pushed some of the focus onto baz’s relationship with niall, pushed the action back in time towards wayward son, added a truth spell (based on a spell in the original) to force communication.

i think this is one of the most interesting remixes i’ve ever done, btw. i’m really pleased with my take on it. 

i chose this to remix because i thought - it’s only a few scenes, rather than a whole get-together arc, and it felt achievable in the timespan. i also had a strong idea about what i could do that was different - the relationship with niall and the spell, and what i would leave for people to discover in the original (simon’s POV - including the warmth he feels when baz cooks for him, the two of the resolving the initial fight when simon comes home in a bad mood). 

the title is a combination of - another line from ‘if i fell’ but one that is about not talking to each other/not putting yourself out there... and ‘where words fail’ - which is the spell i used, and also picks up on what baz says to niall - that telling simon wasn’t enough. even if he’d had the right words, they wouldn’t have been believable. but - through the music/magic, they were able to communicate. 

i also considered using a line from ‘into my arms’ instead (I believe in some kind of path), since that was the song that the magic is cast on - but it didn’t work as well thematically. 

here’s the fic i wrote: Don’t Run and Hide (The ‘Where Words Fail’ Remix’)

and here���s the remix i didn’t write. i think i almost wanted to finish it just for the elvis gag. alas, alas.

I Just Want your Extra Time: remix, not written

BAZ

I don’t smoke as much as my father thinks I do. And I don’t drink – not usually. This evening, though, I’ve already had several glasses of champagne and I’m on my fourth cigarette, the second this smoke break. Because it’s that or go back inside. And I definitely don’t want to go back inside.

I should have known he’d be here.

Not that he was invited. Not that he’s on the guest list. Not that there’s any reason at all, in fact, for him to be here, except that my life is an absolute disaster. Today definitely not an exception.

If anything, it’s worse than usual. I thought I’d already hit bottom when Dev told me I had to ring our printers – in China – and get them to promise to ship one of our new titles three weeks early, as some idiot had sent the press release out with the wrong date. That was excruciating, but things seemed to be improving.

It’s a launch party night. I’m not sure why, but I always look forward to them, even though I hate crowds. (Niall would probably say, other people in general. And he wouldn’t be far wrong.)

But I get to wear a suit. (Tonight’s is Spencer Hart. Dark grey. Green tie.) And I know Snow is going to text after the first hour. And even though no one ever remembers to thank the editor – not unprompted, anyway – I do enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that I’m responsible for turning whatever dross we’ve been told to sell into something that could loosely be called a book.

This one is a cookbook by an actor (not a chef, in other words. I had to hire someone else to write the recipes and then we just photographed him next to the result.) It should be a triumph. It is – we’ve already sold several thousand copies. I should be enjoying myself. But then I heard a voice next to my ear.

“Baz.” And someone put a hand on my waist. “Don’t you look rosy?”

Not someone. Lambert. (I never called him Francois, even when we were intimate.) As irritatingly handsome as ever. And just as confident I’ll do whatever he wants.

I haven’t seen him for months. Not since he left me Las Vegas to go off with one of the better-looking Elvis impersonators. (And if that isn’t the most humiliating break-up story you’ve ever heard, then I really don’t want to know what is. Dumped. And for Elvis.) (Not even the real Elvis - not that it makes a difference.)

“I hoped I’d see you here,” he – Lambert – told me. “It’s been far too long.”

“Since you left me.”

He gave me a hurt look. “Baz. We said Auf Wiedersehen, not goodbye.”

“Who are you really here with?”

The author, of course. I watched their eyes meet across the room and Lambert smiling, before he told me it wasn’t serious. And that he’d be interested in taking me to dinner.

“Unless you’re seeing someone?”

I raised an eyebrow – even though I know Lambert knows I only do that when I can’t think of anything to say. Which means he probably knows the truth, which is that there isn’t anyone else. Not anyone else real, anyway.  

Which reminds me …

I check my watch – it’s later than I thought.

[spencerreidisbananas]

The Journal: Part Two ( Luke )

Author's note: This is number two to a six part series. I made a masterlist and it is linked in my bio so you can find all my work there. I know that this one sorta sucks so sorry guys. Next part is Michael’s turn. Thank you for all your love and support for this series. What type of stuff would you like to see next from me? Comment down below! I hope you guys enjoy!

Word Count: 2,234

I woke up the next morning with my head of Luke's chest and the rest of the bed empty. I could feel his hand playing with my hair. I smiled at the feeling and curled up into him even more.

“Good morning (Y/N)” his voice was rough due to the early morning. I yawned, stretching my arms up into the air, causing him to chuckle.

“Where did the rest of the boys go?” I asked, blushing at the thought of last night.

“They went out for the day so we could have some alone time. You remember the agreement we made?...” I nodded thinking back to what we had talked about. I would get to have each of the boys every day and today was Luke's day. “...Well I was thinking since you are probably sore from last night that you can go take a nice hot bath or shower while I make us breakfast.” Luke suggested.

I nodded. A bath did sound nice. Especially if these next four days were to be filled with plenty of sex.

Luke got up out of bed, leaving a little kiss on my forehead, and headed down to the kitchen. I sighed knowing that I had to get out of the confortable bed and headed to the bathroom.

I ran the water, waiting for it to fill up the tub, and took a look at myself in the mirror. Yikes. I looked like an absolute mess. My hair was wild and Tangled, my makeup smudge, and I had multiple hickeys going down my chest. I decided that I wanted to look nice and sexy for Luke so I quickly headed into the bath.

While soaking, I had some time to think about the plans me and Luke would have today. I knew that Luke was definitely not always in control and it made me excited to think of the different ways that I could dominate him today. I think I'm going to need a little bit of supplies though before we get started today.

When I had got out of the shower, I blow dried my hair and did my makeup. Today I chose a simple outfit. It was just a black t shirt dress  and some converse.

Heading down stairs I was just in time for the pancakes that Luke had decided to make. I swear all these boys could be chefs if they wanted to. We ate our breakfast like normal with not much to really talk about. I wanted to ask him if there was anything that he wanted from the sex store for today because i wasn't entirely sure of everything he was into. Luke was never the type of guy to talk and brag about his sex life so I didn't know his kinks.

When I asked him the question he stopped eating and blushed, immediately getting shy.

“Uhm d-do you think I can come with you and chose out some things there?” He stuttered.

“Of course you can Lukey. What do you have in mind?”

He again blushed, “It's uh, it's... nevermind it's embarrassing.”

That made me sad that he was embarrassed about the things that he was into because he should be proud of whatever it is that is so embarrassing. I motioned him towards the couch and say down next to him, grabbing his jaw so he could face me.

“ I want to make today good, not just for me, but for the both of us. That means I'm gonna need you to be honest and trust me. I need you to know that I'm not going to judge you.” I told him. He simple nodded and I let go of his jaw so he could speak

Looking down at his lap he spoke, “ I guess I was just scared to tell you because all the other boys can dominate you and make you feel good, but I l-like to be dominated by y-you. I want to be a good boy for you.”

That last sentence was barely above a whisper and had a wetness pulling in between my thighs. I leaned up and whispered right next to his ear, “As long as your good I promise to treat you well tonight. How about you be a good boy for me right now and get dressed so we can get you some toys for tonight?”  He nodded eagerly and ran upstairs, causing me to laugh.

A few minutes later we were in the car. When Luke came back from upstairs he was different. Less shy and more giggly.  I was glad he wasn't being shy and quiet anymore.

When we got to the shop I was excited.  I had been in this store once before as a dare with the boys but that was it. When we walked in, me and Luke went our separate ways and I searched for what I had originally came here for. I picked up some pink fluffy handcuffs ( I thought they would look and feel nicer than the silver metal ones). I also picked up a cock ring which i was more than ready to put to use of Luke. I glanced through some of the other aisles and found a strap on. This could be interesting. Maybe not for today though. I quickly bought my three items and then went to go find Luke.

I found him in an aisle full of lingerie. When we caught eyes he immediately blushed and looked down at the ground. “What were you looking at baby boy?” My question caused him to look up again and straight at this light pink set.

“ I wanna wear it.” He commented. Images flashed through my head of Luke below me in pink panties. My hormones were going wild. I simply nodded and told him to grab it as we headed towards the checkout once again.The ride home was quiet and I knew Luke was nervous but I promised myself that I would make him as comfortable as possible.

When we walked into the house I let my hand touch Lukes lower back. I leaned up and whispered into his ear. “ Why don’t you get all nice and pretty for me with that new set that we bought and I will be upstairs in a minute.” He blushed and nodded, shyly heading upstairs. I took a breather trying to get the confidence to head upstairs. Grabbing the handcuffs and slipping the cock ring into my pocket, I headed upstairs.

Opening the door, I found Luke sitting on the bed in the most beautiful set of pink lingerie. He looked so innocent and my breath caught in my throat.

“ You look so beautiful for me baby.” I spoke, causing him to meet my eyes and blush. I crawled on the bed and straddled his waist. I could feel that he was already hard through the small panties that he was wearing. He moaned at the contact as my jean shorts rubbed up against him.

Leaning down, I pulled him into a deep kiss where we were both fighting for dominance, which I clearly one. I moaned into the kiss and let my hands roam into his hair, slightly tugging. My lips left his and I allowed myself to let them trail down leaving a few hickeys on his neck before going down to his nipples. I licked over one and his breathing increased. I decided to try something as i went and tweaked the other nipples. A loud moan escaped from his lips at the action.

“Fuck (Y/N), please don’t tease me. I’m so fucking hard.” I smirked and chuckled a little at his words.

“Oh but baby, we are just getting started.” I pulled out the handcuffs from behind me and his features immediately changed. His eyes grew a deeper shade, filled with lust. He lifted his arms up, giving me perfect space as I tied them to the bed pole.

“Do those feel okay?” I asked, wanting to make sure he felt okay. He nodded.

“ You need to use your words Luke.” I spoke sternly.

He gulped, “ Yes miss, they feel perfect.”

“Good boy.”

I led myself down to his painties, tracing a hand over the bulge. I could see a wet patch where pre-cum had started to leak. He panted, waiting for my next move.

“Listen, I’m gonna suck you off now, okay? But you have to tell me when you are close to cuming. If not, there will be punishment.”

He nodded and I continued with what I was doing. Leaning down, I mouthed at his cock through the panties and he groaned, closing his eyes. Slowly, I pulled down the underwear with my teeth, his eyes now watching my every move. His cock sprung up and hit his stomach. It looked painfully red and leaking.

“Please (Y/N) I need your mouth.” Luke begged. I gave him what he wanted, leaning down and licking up his slit before taking it all in my mouth. He pulled on the handcuffs trying to touch me but was unable to get loose from them. I smirked, hollowing out my cheeks and taking him further.

“Fuck (Y/N) you're so good to me. So good.” He breathed out. I looked up at him and saw an amazing site. He had his hands tied up with those fluffy pink handcuffs and his hair was everywhere, his head back, and moans spilling from his mouth.

I pushed myself as far down as I could take him, slightly gagging as I choked. He groaned at the feeling. “Shit, I'm gonna cum.”

The moment those words left his mouth, I immediately left his cock. He whined at the loss of contact between the two of us as I pulled out the small item in my pocket. His eyes grew wide as I put the cock ring on him.

“I promise I will let you cum baby, but you have to be good for me. Can you be a good boy for me?”

“Y-yeah I can be a good boy for you.” He whimpered.

I pulled myself off of him, now standing up beside the bed. I slowly stripped every piece of clothing that I was wearing. As I unclipped my bra and let it slide down his cock twitched up. “You like what you see baby?” Asked as he replied in only a whimper. I chuckled and headed back over to the bed.

“If you help me cum first then I'll ride you and allow you to cum. Does that sound good?”

I didn't wait for a response as I hovered over his mouth. Lightly I lowered my body down and grabbed onto the bed pole as he licked up my slit. His tongue slid through my folds and he latched onto my clit. I knew I wouldn't last as I had already been super worked up in the first place. He continued to suck on my clit before working his way down before his tongue slid into me.

“Fuck Luke. You're such a good boy for me, eating me out like this. I bet you want to cum so bad.” I moaned grabbing his cock and give it a few strokes.

A broken moan left his mouth at the touch. I felt him start to work harder on my pussy so he could cum. I felt myself getting closer to my release as I gripped onto his chest,nails digging in.

With one more loud moan, I released onto his mouth, shaking. I slowly got off of his face and rearranged myself so I was facing him again. He was panting, his face a slight red color, and my juices dripping out of his mouth. I knew he was desperate so I took of the cock ring which in itself caused a moan to escape from his mouth.

I sunk down on him and released the hand cuffs so that he could touch me. His hands went straight to my waist and he started bucking his hips up. I knew he wouldn’t last long and he knew too so he brought a hand down to my clit and started rubbing. I whined at the pleasure of both his cock and his fingers, not to include my overstimulation from my last orgasm.

I felt him twitch inside me and then he was cumming. I felt the hot streams of cum hit the insides of my walls and when he moaned my name I lost it, coming undone as well.

I pulled off of him and ran to grab a hot washcloth to wipe him off. He sighed in contentment as the warm fabric hit his skin. After cleaning him up I went under the covers that he was already in and cuddling next to Luke.

“ Thank you for being a good boy for me.”I whispered before dozing off into a heavy sleep.

[bestofc]

My Night with the Bouncer and the Chef

Drinking had never been my thing until recently and I thought I could handle myself. One night I decided to go out after work because it was what I considered “one of those nights.” So I got home and prepped, going through just about all of my clothes to pick the perfect combination of clothes with the least amount of fabric. I had met this dude and I’d been talking to him for a little while but it was nothing serious. He was the chef at my favorite go to bar and I’d always go there to watch him work. That how I chose this particular bar on this night.

So here I was in a black mini skirt, black bra, blue jean shirt and black leather heels and no panties. At that moment I was not caring about catching anyone’s attention but Dee’s. Getting ready to hop out I check my make-up and my boobs, making sure everything is on point. As I approach the door RaShaun, the bouncer, was there checking more than IDs when I got to him. At this point in time I completely forgot the fact that I took the bouncers number like two weeks ago and never called him. Besides that he was not even my type but I couldn’t be mean.

He said he’d buy me a drink if I bought him one. It seemed a little strange but to myself I thought, “I’ll bite.” Next thing I knew I was at this pub table with a single chair pulled up. Playing with my phone as I waited for my first drink to arrive, Dee noticed me through the cooks’ window behind the bar. I smiled and sent him a text. “I’ve been waiting on you to see me.” He replies, “I knew I felt someone staring at me.” We exchange a few more messages and then he has a waiter bring me food that he made for me. As the waiter approached she gave me a weird look and said with a hint of uncertainty “This is from Dee.” I took the plate and smiled.

I was on my second drink by the time RaShaun even came back around. There was no point in entertaining him because Dee had been showing me more attention than his sorry ass. But the liquor was setting in and he brought me a shot of straight Vodka. I’d been drinking Vodka Cranberries so I figured I could take it like a G and gulp it down. Bad idea; terrible idea, because next thing I know I’m gagging and so close to throwing up. He made sure I was okay and laughing at the same time. Once he stopped laughing he told me to hold my nose and just swallow. It helped and it went down better this time but it fucked me. All I know was my heels were off and my legs stretched to the other side of the table. It got super-hot and I was sweating like crazy. All of a sudden I get a Facebook chime. I look down and it’s from RaShaun saying “Come to my Office.”

Getting up was draining. Every bone in my body was telling me not to go because I came to see Dee not “the bouncer” but I went anyway. Just to note, it wasn’t a real office; shit had storage food by the door and bathroom supplies at the other end and a simple computer screen with a broken ass chair. Also, it just so happened to be in the kitchen area, just not exactly where Dee was cooking. Me being the nice woman that I am I stayed and listened to him talk. Next thing I know he’s taking my hand and moving it towards his dick. Out of curiosity I let my hand go into his pants and it wasn’t impressive but I could work with it. Then the sober part of me kicked it and let him know, “I came here for Dee, we’re sorta talking.” “Dee who? The cook? Oh he ain’t nothing to worry about.” He shrugged it off and started kissing my neck.

The feeling was ten times better than anything I had ever felt, maybe because I was drunk, and I didn’t want him to stop. But he stopped and asked for head. That baffled me so I laughed a little and said “No. But you can give me head though.” Without hesitation he got down on his knees, put my left leg over his shoulder, lifting my skirt up and went to work. That first lick was pure Heaven. As he progressed thoughts of Dee slipped away. I couldn’t control my moans of pleasure. My eyelids lifted slowly. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining what exactly happening to me at that moment. I happened to glance at the monitors to see Dee coming around the corner. Pushing his magical tongue away and pulling my skirt down I told him it was time for me to go. He asked, “What about me?” I looked him up and down, snickered and replied, “What about you?” Turned to the door and left before he could stop me.

I snuck out the side back into the bar. I could see the waiters looking at me as though I didn’t belong back there. It didn’t matter because I was feeling boss and thought I got away with it. Waiting at the bar sipping on yet another Vodka Cranberry I sent RaShaun a message telling him not to tell anyone, especially Dee. Then making sure Dee was coming to my place afterwards, I gracefully found my way to my car. Trying to sober up before taking off I waited in the parking lot and saw RaShaun and I just knew he was gonna say something. I was already getting my lie ready as I pulled off.

Lying in wait, my phone buzzes and it’s Dee. “I’m outside.” So I fix myself up real quick and headed out to his car. As I hopped in and leaned in for a kiss I noticed something was off. I just told him the truth and hoped he’d forgive me. He replied, “Oh I know. He told me everything.” “What’s everything?” I asked curiously. He went on and on about how I gave RaShaun head and we fucked. I was just disgusted by the mere thought of his dick anywhere near me and I interrupted him. “I would never fuck that man even if he paid me. I was being generous by letting him give me head.” I stopped because I realized I wasn’t helping my case. I started touching all his hot spots to distract him from my naughty mistake. He almost fell for it and I almost got away with it but he stopped me. “Did you touch him with those hands?” he asked while laughing. Trying not to be upset I laughed it off as well. I continued touching and rubbing as he was talking. I reached into his pants and gripped his dick and squeezed.

He automatically let his seat back because he knew what was about to happen. I let my seat back and propped on my knees to get all in his space. I whispered in his ear, “this is your mouth and I would never give it to anyone but you. I promise.” I lightly bit his earlobe and moved smoothly to the tip of his dick. Kissing slowly as if I was making out with him, I slid his shaft all the way down my throat and back up. I can always tell I’m doing a good job when he lightly puts his hand on the back of my head. As he placed his hand down, I looked up at him and smiled. Trying not to ruin the moment I continued faster and faster until he quietly said, “I’m about to cum...” I stopped. He grabbed my head, not as gentle as before, and shoved his dick back in my mouth. He was being forceful as to punish me for earlier. I took it but as soon as I felt him pulse I pulled up and he nutted all in his car.

Sitting back in my seat, I wiped the edges of my mouth off and got out the car. I left him to clean up his mess. Went in the house and didn’t talk to him for a week. Sometimes, even when you fuck up, it’s best to control the situation. It gave him space and he forgave me without even having to apologize. Guarantee you that the make-up sex was amazing…