#pepperoni need not apply

[zombii-writess]

ᴠɪʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ꜰᴇᴍ! ꜱ/ᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱᴇᴅ

Synopsis: Being stressed 24/7 with over blots and barely getting by with the limited cash you have, it's no wonder you barely noticed the red lumps all over your face that seem ready to burst.

Character/s: Vil

A/N: wrote this because I'm also breaking out so badly and also because I'm almost done with Book 5 WOOOO. Vil might be a little ooc imo ;;

also excuse any spelling mistakes, I wrote on 3 hours of sleep 😭

If you knew about how bad your face looked, you would've made an attempt to hide it better. But thanks to Ace who immediately called you 'pepperoni face' upon your arrival, you knew you had limited time before running into Vil.

It was bad enough you were stressed over classes, over blots sprouting everywhere, and Grim causing trouble everywhere you went, that you barely had time to take care of yourself, now you had to worry about Vil finding out about your face before you run into each other. Or worse, Rook sees you and tells him of your problem.

But it seems like luck was not on your side after you tried to sneak back to your dorm when someone cleared their throat behind you. Slowly turning around, you began to wish the ground would swallow you as you made eye contact with Vil's. And he does not look happy.

He opens his mouth to scold you for avoiding him but after scanning your face, Vil closes his mouth and sighs. "Have you not been following the skincare routine I've given you?"

Grimacing at his sharp, accusing tone, you turn your face away as you felt tears sting your eyes, head pounding from the stress that had piled upon piles. Vil shakes his head, "Come with me, Potatoe." Then turns to leave back to his dorm. With no other choice, you decide to follow him, wiping at the tears that managed to slip through.

Now here you were, sitting in front of Vil in clean clothing, because he "doesn't want to dirty his bed with outside germs,". Never have you felt so nervous as he was quick to slather some skincare products on you. On the way here, he hadn't said a word about your face or you avoiding him the entire day.

Once he finished putting on a face mask to deal with the pimples, he turns to his mirror, ties his hair up, and begins to work on himself. Finally, he speaks.

"So, [Name], what has been keeping you from taking care of yourself?"

That's when the damn breaks, your bottom lip begins to wobble as tears slid down your face, the face mask Vil had gently applied had been ruined from your tears and you desperately to wipe them away, but alas, you had failed. Too busy wiping your tears, you don't notice Vil turning back around in his seat to face you. Gently, he rests a hand on your head, thumb rubbing at your hairline.

Sniffling, you look up at him as he gazes at you with soft eyes. Vil softly kisses the crown of your head and embraces you, not caring that both of your masks rubbed onto each other's clothing. The warmth radiating from his body sends more tears down your cheeks as you swallowed air to hold back a sob.

Vil brushes his finger through your hair. Earlier it was tangled due to you arriving late to school thanks to Grim keeping you up with his sleep talking, thus leaving you with little to no time to fix your hair.

Once you calmed down, you spilled all of the problems that had you stressed out to Vil. How Grim kept getting you in trouble for sleeping in class, how you failed the last exam and needed to retake it, to how Ace called you 'pepperoni face' earlier. You could've gone all day if not for Vil using a manicured finger to wipe at your tear-stricken eyes.

"It'll be alright, [Name]," He spoke softly, never had he been so gently with anybody. But you weren't just anybody. You were his girlfriend. And although he was harsh on you too, Vil only showed this side of him to you. "You know, you can come to me whenever you need help?"

"Mhm," You sniffle as an embarrassed smile spreads on your face. "Sorry about all... that." Vil clicks his tongue, separating from you to head to his drawer to fish out some clean shirts for the both of you.

"There's no need to apologize," He heads back with the folded items in his hands and passes you a new shirt. "Crying is a great way to relieve stress,"

The rest of the day consisted of Vil treating you to face masks, relaxing shoulder messages, and tons of love.

Like my work? Buy me a ko-fi!

[steviewashere]

hmmm i think for a prompt i will sayyy steve/eddie for not actually unrequited with steve scared of defining their relationship bexause he doesn��t want to be rejected but their friendship is super affectionate and closer than his previous friendships <3

Okay, finally getting around to doing some of the prompts in my inbox. But I gotta admit, I may not have gone the way that this was supposed to. It's still good, but I'm unsure. Thank you for the prompt!! <3

Tags: Getting Together, Love Confessions, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Mutual Pining, Yearning, Domestic, Bisexual Eddie Munson, Friends to Lovers, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Insecure Steve Harrington, First Kiss, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Hand Holding, Back of Hand Kisses (My Love)

💕—————💕 He brushes away a stray hair from Eddie’s face and wonders, not for the first time, when they got so close on the couch.

Steve knows that he’s doomed. There’s something in his relationship with Eddie that’s new, unspoken, treacherous. And he suspects that it started with the gentle touches. The way his fingers move over the frizz on Eddie’s curls and how he can map all the scars on their torsos. He’s aware of all the noises Eddie makes in his sleep and how their legs lock into each other under his comforter. He knows where Eddie is, based solely on the echoing steps his feet make. If they move soft, he’s in his socks, moving through the hallways to avoid waking Steve up.

There a lot of things he knows about Eddie, in fact.

Coffee with three teaspoons of sugar and a splash of milk. All laundry dried, except for his jeans; and he’s allergic to the Tide, but not Gain. He brushes his teeth with Arm & Hammer, flosses twice a day, and uses spearmint mouthwash only at night. Every Tuesday between 7pm-9pm, he allots time in his schedule just for campaign planning; he needs to be reminded to eat dinner on those days, so Steve always makes something and sits with him until he’s done. Sometimes they hold each other’s hands, a reminder, Steve supposes. Eddie enjoys pepperoni and olives on his pizza, and will gladly take Steve’s olives. He takes his eggs scrambled with cheese, but colby jack, not the Kraft American slices. Bees are his mortal enemy and just one sting would upend him in the hospital. His skin burns easy in the summer, so he applies double the sunscreen, and Steve has done this all before. He has freckles on his back, over his shoulders, up the sides of his neck, on his face. Steve likes to try and count them, but loses track the moment Eddie giggles or smiles.

When he comes over to watch a movie, he always slouches on the right cushion and lets Steve wrap around his left side. He prefers sci-fi over action, but action over romance, but romance over sad dramas. His favorite animals are cats and will adamantly refuse to watch or listen to anything involving that said animal dying. If silences stretch for too long, Eddie taps his fingers over the shapes of his rings, though never slides them off his fingers. He tapes his rings because they’re too big to fit naturally—they were hand-me-downs from his grandpa on his mom’s side, a last gift given before he passed. His mom smelt like Love’s Baby Soft, so when he’s having a particularly bad day, he sprays his pillows with an old bottle he kept. (It’s almost empty and Steve already bought a new one for when it runs out, he just has to have the gall to give it to him.)

Eddie runs cold. Eddie wears three layers all the time—at least. Eddie speaks softly when it’s just the two of them. Eddie always looks at him. Eddie listens to him. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

That’s all Steve’s brain is.

And he knows that it’s too much for them to just be friends. But that’s all they are.

He doesn’t want that to be the case, but when he gets the chance to open his mouth and finally say something, it’s like the words die half-way out of his chest. Because Eddie’s like him, in some ways, trying to find the right person, not finding that person, going out and trying again. He hooks-up with girls on the weekdays and goes out to seedy bars on the weekends. His collarbones are sometimes riddled with hickeys; when Steve chances a glance at him, when he’s shirtless and getting ready to share the bed, before he gets in the pool, when he’s a little too warm, when he wants Steve to apply the sunscreen, when he wants fingers tracing the edges of his scars—when he wants to talk about something that went wrong with the girl.

Like tonight.

Eddie’s on his couch. Hair in his face. Shirt off.

He leans too far into Steve’s side, even if it means nothing. He laughs and places a palm on the center of Steve’s back. He shoves his cheek against the side of Steve’s face and whispers hot and harsh on his ear, wet and warm and soothing, all too close—and Steve can smell him. Musk and sweat and Love’s Baby Soft and citrus and Irish Spring and a little like marijuana. He laughs again and stumbles into Steve’s side and places his head on the nook of his shoulder. He calls Steve sweetheart and squeezes his hand.

He always does, though. All of this. He always is this. Too much and too affectionate and too sweet and too ‘Steve’s type.’

Steve can’t take his eyes off of Eddie. Wondering, not for the first time, when he’ll just say what he needs to.

“I think you’re beautiful,” Steve wants to say, “I think you’re kind. I think you’d look good underneath me on my bed. I think I like when you wear my clothes whenever you stay over. I think I’d make you breakfast forever if it meant you’d sit at my table. I think I love you, Eddie. Eddie, god, I think I love you.”

They’re just friends, though. Nothing less.

Nothing more.

And Steve’s afraid of the nuance of this friendship he has. Is it better to never say a thing? Or should he rip the bandaid off and eventually plaster it over his broken heart the moment Eddie rejects him?

Because, as is, all Eddie talks about is girls. Girls with tattoos. Girls with nerd interests. Girls with wild makeup. Girls.

And Steve, noticeably, is not a girl.

He’s none of what Eddie is seeking. Nothing of what he wants. What he desires.

“I don’t know,” Eddie sighs, “she just isn’t the one.”

Steve grunts. “That makes no sense,” he softly exclaims, elbowing Eddie. Washing in the hiss and smirk that Eddie gives him. He’d bathe in whatever Eddie handed to him, if only to have him here, like this, all the time. “It just…You say she’s perfect under you. You say she’s funny and sweet and beautiful. You say all these nice things about this girl, but she isn’t the one? None of that makes sense to me, Eds.”

Eddie’s gaze on him shifts then, something more distant and pained. His fingers splayed over Steve’s thighs, they flex and flatten and tickle. He twists his mouth. And swallows hard, enough to flex the muscles of his neck. “Yeah, I guess I did,” he murmurs. Then, he leans in further. Further, somehow, always further.

And something in Steve wilts. Because, “This isn’t fair.”

“What?” Eddie mutters, brows furrowing. “What’s not fair, Stevie?” He blinks and Steve’s immediately in a daze. His eyelashes are long and dark and creating soft shadow under his eyes. His cheeks are flushed with rosacea pink blush. And has an overwhelming amount of sweet, sugary softness in his stare—enough that Steve’s stomach stirs nauseously.

“This,” Steve whispers. He wrenches his hand away from where it, on an automatic shift, went to trace Eddie’s scars—especially the one closest to him, a wide and silvery one over his left ribs. The one that’s smooth under Steve’s touch.

Nervously, Eddie chuckles. His hand instinctively tightens over Steve’s leg. “Sweetheart, I don’t—“

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Steve exclaims, finally jumping apart. He stands shakily from his couch and faces where he sat, towering over Eddie’s stupidly big, soft eyes and his gentle scowl and the flush of his pale skin. His shadow draws his attention towards the highlights over Eddie, the light yellow on his irises and the glint of scars and that shiny silver of his decade old rings. “This thing you’re doing. The—The—Flirting!”

“Flirting?” Eddie innocently asks. He blinks again, owlishly this time.

“Yes, Eddie! Flirting! You do it all the time…You—You always call me sweetheart and you’re always touching me and…” But he takes in Eddie’s face again. How pretty he is. How stupidly endearing every aspect of him is. And he—

God, Steve can’t do this. He can’t ruin this.

“…Never mind,” he mutters, “don’t worry about it.” And he sits back down. A noticeable gap between them.

“Steve?”

He shakes his head. But otherwise remains silent.

“Steve,” Eddie calls again, softly. So small that it could’ve been lost inside the couch cushions. “Do you not like when I do those things?”

“I like them,” Steve can at least admit. “I don’t mind.”

But Eddie doesn’t touch him again. He looks away, Steve can sense it, even with his own eyes facing forward. His t-shirt is put back on, Steve can see every movement Eddie makes and knows exactly what part of his body he’s using and what exactly he’s doing.

And then they’re just silent.

Maybe he’s already ruined it. He always knew that everything would fall through the moment he admitted anything. The moment he made some sort of realization. And it’s not like the crush was unprecedented. It was slow. Small things, at first. Other things, when time gave way to them. He catalogued everything. And he knew, the moment he learned to touch Eddie where it mattered most—over his scalp and the scars and down the slope of his nose—he was already falling in love.

Of course he’s in love with one of his best friends.

He’s always in love with a best friend. Always somebody that becomes unattainable. First, it was Tommy and then Tommy started dating Carol. Then, it was Nancy and they were great, but then she wanted Jonathan. After, it was Robin and he’s fine with not having Robin in that way, thank god not in that way. He should’ve seen it coming when Eddie stuck around.

He should’ve known. Why didn’t he know?

But if he spoke, Eddie would find a reason to not love him back. That was the scary part. Tommy—he couldn’t see it. Nancy—she never loved him, not really. Robin—well, that one goes left unsaid. What would Eddie find? Would he realize how clingy Steve is? Would he become embarrassed by Steve’s romance movie type of love: drive-in dates and sweet kisses on the lips and slow embraces that lasted forever? Would he come to terms with having nothing in common, despite having everything to talk about as friends? Would he get bored? Would he just…fizzle out?

Steve can imagine it all. Becoming boring. Becoming uninteresting. Becoming unlovable.

Not being desirable.

That’s all he wants. To be desired the way he desires. All too much. All at once. Like flames engulfing the world. He wants and he wants and he wants.

But if he spoke, he’d have to continue wanting—though from an arm’s length. Because Eddie would leave, probably. Turn him down. Realize the truth about Steve Harrington.

The boy everybody wants, but nobody loves.

He’d still want Eddie, though, even if he realized.

“I didn’t know—“

“Eddie,” Steve murmurs, “you don’t have to…Don’t do this with me. Just ignore it. Please, Eds, just ignore it.”

Gentle fingers on the back of his hand. Pushing the skin upward, towards his knuckles. “And if I didn’t want to ignore it?” Eddie asks. So soft. So small.

Steve blinks, his eyes wet and his throat burning. “Don’t—“ He takes a shuttering breath as Eddie’s palm wraps around his whole hand. “Eddie, please,” he pleads, “don’t do this if you don’t mean it.”

Eddie’s hand flexes, squeezing. “Steve,” he murmurs, “look at me?”

Hesitantly, and oh so slowly, Steve makes his head move. He catches Eddie’s eyes, the first thing he always notices when they’re together, and melts. They’re like voids, pulling Steve in. A warm void, though. A hot bath. He raises their joined hands to his lips. They’re a little dry, soft and warm over Steve’s skin.

“I want to mean it,” Eddie quietly confesses.

“But,” Steve mutters, “but what about all those girls?”

“They’re not the one,” Eddie says, “they’re not you.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

Eddie gazes at him now. The way love interests do in all the movies Steve’s ever loved. With a softness like that of cat backs, the ones Eddie likes. With warmth like that of Eddie’s dried laundry. With sweetness like that of Eddie’s morning coffee. His lips are pressed into the back of Steve’s hand again.

“They’re not you,” Eddie reiterates. “They aren’t sweet to me, they aren’t gentle or funny in those silent ways you are. And they aren’t handsome with your good hair. Or warm against me. I’m with them and all I can think about is coming back to you, talking to you, holding you, laying next to you. All I think about is you.”

Steve raises his free hand to the right side of Eddie’s face. Cups his cheek, runs his thumb over his cheekbone, tangles his fingers in the hair above his ear. “You’re all I think about, too,” Steve admits. “Even when I’m hanging out with you, I’m still thinking about you.” He smiles back at the received soft one Eddie has. His dimples have never looked this good. And his mouth is plenty kissable. His face is warm and pink under Steve’s hand.

So he leans in, slowly, enough for everything to be taken back. For him to wake up from this possible dream. And when there’s nothing left to do but lean forward that extra millimeter, Steve kisses him.

Eddie tastes like pepperonis and olives and spearmint. He’s focused completely, kissing back with enough force to make Steve nearly fall backwards. His lips move as if devouring. Steve hopes he tastes just as good.

“I love you,” Eddie confesses first. “I’ve loved you for…a fucking long time.”

Steve, the hopelessly hopeful romantic that he is, melts. “I love you, too,” he breathes.

“Boyfriends?” Eddie asks, smirking, but not teasing.

He nods. “Yeah, Eds. Wanna be your boyfriend.” Something more. God, they're something more.

💕—————💕

[barfygutcheck]

pizza-logged

/uhh to be perfectly honest this is just pure kink and little else. it involves a stethoscope and some pizza overload. enjoy/

Sawyer was knocked out cold, splayed across the couch in the typical position that followed an indulgent meal. Her legs extended past the edge, one arm loosely covering her eyes while the other dangled over the side. The coffee table bore witness to her indulgence, cluttered with an empty pizza box from Sawyer’s favorite place in Kingston, discarded greasy napkins, and the subtle scent of pepperoni still hanging in the atmosphere.

Jackie nestled up against her girlfriend, one hand gently resting on Sawyer’s broad chest. Instances like this left Jackie unsure of what to do with herself. Sawyer had emerged from football practice “starved,” and Jackie, ever the supportive girlfriend, had urged her to eat… perhaps driven by a desire to see Sawyer grow full. Part of her reasoning was practical: to recover adequately, Sawyer needed to consume sufficient calorie intake. The other part?

Slightly adjusting her position, Jackie let her head rest on Sawyer’s shoulder, her gaze instinctively falling on Sawyer’s belly: markedly swollen, her muscles slack, the fabric of her shirt pulled tight.

With a moment of pause, Jackie felt equal parts self-conscious and concerned before she allowed her hand to settle directly on the expanse of Sawyer’s abdomen, where the pizza had settled, mindful of how stuffed Sawyer must feel. The heat of her skin was striking against the distension.

Normally, if Sawyer was awake, Jackie wouldn’t even get this close. Sawyer operated in two distinct modes: boasting about her food consumption or lamenting the consequences of her indulgence. In this instance, it was clear that she had reached her limit and would be grappling with a stomachache if she were conscious. However, she was far from awake. So, Jackie indulged her curiosity, tracing circles across Sawyer’s expanded stomach, her fingertips exploring the surface. As she applied gentle pressure, she could sense the tightness of the bloating — much like a balloon blown up to its near-bursting point.

She could practically imagine the digestive process occurring in her girlfriend’s abdomen; the stomach walls contracting in a rhythmic fashion, guiding the hefty mass of food toward the intestines. Given the sheer bulk of cheese and dough, this process was inevitably sluggish and inefficient.

No wonder Sawyer was out cold. Her head lolled to the side, mouth slightly open, completely knocked out from her food coma.

Jackie couldn’t help but feel aroused.

Just as she was settling deeper into the couch, she heard it — this faint gurgling sound. It was so soft at first that she thought she might’ve imagined it. But then it came again, a quiet, low rumble that seemed to echo from Sawyer’s belly. Jackie lifted her head slightly, peering down at Sawyer’s stomach again.

“Huh,” Jackie murmured, raising an eyebrow. “Is that your stomach, babe?” Of course, Sawyer couldn’t respond.

Jackie bit her lip.

The gurgling continued, a gentle but persistent noise that made her own stomach twist with a vague sense of unease.

Jackie’s medical training took over, and though she knew it was important not to jump to conclusions — Sawyer was a big girl, more than capable of handling a simple stomachache — her concern deepened with each passing moment. The sounds from Sawyer’s stomach were growing harder to ignore, and Jackie couldn’t shake the feeling that it might be more than just a typical food overload. She didn’t want to deal with chunks of half-digested pizza all over the couch, or worse, risk Sawyer waking up in agony.

Jackie shifted slightly, careful not to wake Sawyer. Her hand slid off Sully’s chest as she reached over to the coffee table where her stethoscope lay. She always kept it close, a habit from long nights of studying.

 Sawyer would probably give her so much grief if she knew Jackie was taking this medical approach, but since Sawyer was completely out, Jackie figured there was no harm.

“Alright, don’t hate me for this,” Jackie whispered as if Sawyer could hear her. She gently lifted Sawyer’s shirt, revealing her toned stomach, now slightly distended from all that pizza. Pronounced was one word. Swollen was another. Jackie had helped with a few slices; two and a half, precisely because she ate like a bird.

Sawyer had taken care of the rest, but one would have been able to tell just from the looks of her stomach.

Jackie placed the stethoscope’s diaphragm against Sawyer’s warm skin and pressed her ear to the other end.

The soft growling noises she had heard earlier were much louder now. Jackie’s brows knitted together as she listened intently. It wasn’t just normal digestion but rather intense bubbling, sloshing, and churning. Periodically, a sharp, almost groaning noise emerged, as if Sawyer’s stomach was actively protesting the overwhelming volume of food it had been tasked to manage. The sounds weren’t alarming in a medical emergency kind of way, but they certainly weren’t… pleasant. Her stomach could hardly grapple with the excess.

“Jesus, Sully, what did I get you into?” Jackie muttered under her breath, pulling the stethoscope away for a moment. She frowned, her hand resting lightly on Sawyer’s stomach. It was warm to the touch, but not unusually so. Still, with the way it was rumbling and shifting beneath her fingers, Jackie had a feeling Sawyer was going to wake up in for a rough time.

Sawyer shifted slightly, her face scrunching up in discomfort, but she didn’t wake.

Jackie felt a pang of guilt. She’d encouraged Sawyer to eat the entire pizza, and now her stomach was working overtime to deal with it. Jackie pressed the stethoscope back to Sawyer’s belly, listening again. The sounds were just as unsettling — a mix of liquid sloshing and air moving around in ways that didn’t seem like they should be. Under normal circumstances, the sounds would be rhythmic but somewhat gentle; occasional burbles, gushing as digestion kicked in. However, Jackie picked up prolonged periods of silence followed by harsh gurgling and strained noises, indicative of a cramped digestive tract.

Perhaps nausea was building up.

Sawyer’s body jerked slightly, a sudden hiccup escaping her lips. The hiccup was so forceful it jostled her entire body, and Jackie’s hand felt the sloshing inside Sawyer’s belly. The sound was unmistakable — a thick noise that made Jackie’s eyes briefly widen. She froze, listening as another hiccup followed, this one even louder.

Jackie leaned back with a sigh, pulling the stethoscope from her ears and setting it aside. There wasn’t much she could do now except wait for Sawyer to wake up and see how she felt. Jackie just hoped she wouldn’t feel too awful.

Her gaze softened as she looked at Sawyer’s peaceful face, her breathing steady despite the clear turmoil happening in her gut.

The growling from Sully’s stomach continued, but Jackie was at least reassured that nothing serious seemed to be happening. It was just a classic case of overeating.

Jackie leaned her head against Sawyer’s shoulder, letting the gentle rise and fall of Sawyer’s chest calm her own nerves. For now, all Jackie could do was wait and make sure Sawyer didn’t wake up in too much pain. After all, it wasn’t every day your girlfriend devoured an entire pizza and then passed out like a rock.

Jackie chuckled softly, resting her hand on Sawyer’s warm stomach again, feeling the faint vibrations of her digestive system working overtime. Sully might grumble when she woke up, but Jackie would be there, ready to help.

[virtualgirladv]

What's your worst take?

Like how am I meant to know? Everything I think in general I probably think is normal until proven otherwise. Or if I think it then I must think I'm right and everyone is wrong.

Gonna list some random things that I often disagree with people about and y'all can figure out which is the worst take.

People care too much about other people's kinks and need to actually enjoy sex for once

GLaDOS is a milf

You should make friends with people who like stuff your ehh about, keeps you from being a fascist

Cold pepperoni pizza is great

You should have friends that are very different age from you, keeps you from being a prude of a boomer and younger people need adults they can talk to about life without judgement because we're social beings and the world is fucking hard without experience and guidance

Puns are great

You should say you love your friends more, it isn't weird fuck you

Y'all can't put sriracha on everything, try other sauces sometime. Different ones compliment different foods. Also Huy Fong sriracha, the roster one everyone knows, is mid af now try another brand

It's okay to be picky just don't be a cunt about it, this applies to everything, even dating, even friendships, even family, everything

Tumblr is only good cause the decade of community, it'd be better if they all just like moved to cohost or something

People play EDH too slow or make generally unfun decks often

You should like pay artists if you can, you'll get the best stuff you'll love forever out of it

I love Linux but it isn't for everyone so stop recommending it for every problem

You should lie to your landlord

Chips should be crunchy, fuck those wafer thin shits they try and sell you

Charities shouldn't need to exist, it's a sign of a problem, not a solution

Being rude to someone being an asshole is valid af, people who don't respect others don't deserve respect

Cargo pants are fucking great

You should be cringe on purpose to kill the weak and vain

No one has the same gender, it's fucking free form art

Triple A games suck so much 99% of the time, the file off all the potential to general appeal

Indie films will either be the most amazing or worst thing you've seen and that's good

Pop music isn't a genre, its a business model

Fuck grammar and spelling. You fucking know what people are saying. We've done this for millennias. Cuntwaffle and yeag aren't "real" words but you know exactly what I mean

You're a cunt if you don't at least try to say someone's name correctly, like deserve to go to hell shit

[xxsycamore]

Napizzeon

╰┈➤ 🍕 Napoleon's always been so damn yummy looking. You're so hungry and desperate you could make a pizza on his face.

Napoleon Bonaparte x gn!reader • rating: G • tags: Crack; Nightmares; Bad cooking • wordcount: 722 • masterlist

We were goofing around with @eliilovesu making a pizza on Napo's face and then @lemeowade wrote a short dialogue based on it and something happened in my head and now it's a fic.

Napoleon is securing your apron with a cute little tie at the back when your stomach growls yet again.

"Snrk. Little bears aren't allowed in the kitchen, Nunuche."

You pout, finally turning to face him and to return the favor by tying off his own apron. All the better that you have an excuse to nudge him into turning his back to you where you can't see his stupid grin anymore.

"I thought the kitchen was where we fought bears!"

Once you two are both ready, Napoleon takes a spatula readily just like it's his rapier, making you laugh effortlessly.

"That's true. So? What are we cooking today?"

At the end of your laughing fit, you stop your gaze at Napoleon's handsome face. He has that spark in his eye that is always ready to impress you, and your heartbeat rises, and you're suddenly palming your hungry belly as if to calm down the hungry butterflies inside...

"Napoleon... you look rather yummy, you know..."

Napoleon is dumbfounded for a split second, blinking his turquoise eyes in surprise at where this compliment came from. Then the smirk is back on his face.

"Why thank you, Nunuche. Aren't I always?"

You find your tongue poking out to lick your bottom lip, the sight before you simply irresistible. You step in closer with your hands outstretched.

"No, I mean like... actually yummy."

"............Nunuche?"

Freezing in place with his breath hitching, Napoleon leaves himself at your mercy as your hands finally land on him, taking a strong grip on his arms.... and before he knows it... he's pushed on the kitchen table.

"N-N-N-Nunuche..."

"Shh, Napoleon. Lie down."

Obediently, Napoleon relaxes his weight until his back is flush with the table, and he waits. For what exactly, he's not sure... but he's captured by your bold whims, curious to see what this would lead to. He hears rustling sounds where he can't see what you could be doing, but he's soon to find out exactly what you're planning for him.

"Nunuche what are you-"

"Stay completely still for me. Face the ceiling and close your eyes."

He complies with your strange request, heart hammering in his chest. Soon he feels something...something wet and thick meeting his cheek.

It smells just like...tomato sauce...

"Wha-"

"Told you to stand still. Talking is a no-no."

Once his whole face is covered, he's met with a new sensation as something falls down upon him like a gentle snowfall. Like cheese is falling from the skies.

Next, something smaller but heavier rains down on him... He opens his mouth in a gasp and one of the small particles falls in his mouth.

"Champignons", he guesses correctly about the mushrooms, in that thick French accent that drives you crazy.

Another few ingredients appear on his face, some of which he has no luck guessing but there must be some basil and onion in there.

"All done~! Now all we need to do is apply heat and bake you real good."

Pause.

"And how are you planning on doing that, exactly?"

"Hmm... it's easy. I'll show you."

The nightmare of Europe trembles on the kitchen table, facing a fear he never even knew he had. He feels a presence looming over him, it's you, no doubt - and he feels it coming closer and closer, the darkness inside his eyelids becoming yet darker as you're directly over him.

And then it comes.

"Mmmmmmuah!!~"

Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

Napoleon's face grows hot in an instant as you kiss his lips.

And he realizes. That was your plan all along.

Napoleon smirks, giving up the play and removing a pepperoni from his eye in order to raise his head and look at you with a soft, defeated smile.

"My clever, mischievous Nunuche. I have to admit, I didn't expect-"

He sees you holding a blowtorch.

"What are you talking about Napoleon? I'm only just beginning!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

***

"AAAAAAaaaaa?"

"Napoleon, what's up with you! You fell asleep right after promising to cook me a meal and now you're even having nightmares! How deeply were you sleeping?"

Napoleon blinks into coherence, surprised to find himself lying on your lap under a tree's shade.

"I'm.... I'm fine, let's go cook. Have you decided on what you want to eat yet?"

"Hmmm... I was thinking about...pizza?"

"...Can't it be something else?"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran   @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @galaxyprison @sadshaxk @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 ​ @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @judejazza Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[lolbutjustabit]

TELL ME ALLL ABOUT MARGARET

OK HUEHEH

her regular design is a margherrita and pepperoni pizza roll (you can find this design on my profile..somewhere) and she was created by accident in a lab located in pennsylvania. long story short, two of the lab's employees were eating lunch next to the cloning vats that were still in the workings, they accidentally drop their food there aaand wow boom margarett and her "sister" were created, w humanoid ish features bc the vat took some of the dna from the employee who was holding the her yk (that's why she has a bite on her head, she was bitten by one of the employees before becoming alive)

all these facts Imma say are applied to both the designs, as a regular and as a gijinka, is the same story for both so dw.

she's rlly chill, has a nice relationship w almost everyone she meets bc of that, she's rlly sweet specially w shake, but she can also be pretty assertive when she needs to, also specially w shake.

she's a stoner lol she has a hello kitty bong and frequently smokes w shake.

margarett is often losing jobs and finding new ones, also never having a stable routine, so she has the responsability to find a job, but not to mantain one lmao

her fellow creation/sister is called popcarmen, who doesn't like shake that much since he's whiny, annoying, stupid, lazy, messy....I could go on all day.

margarett had a lot of relationships w a ton of people (fun fact shes pan) before meeting shake, but she never actually wanted something serious or commitment, it was all for fun and games yk, specially bc no one actually wanted commitment w her, so she never knew what it was actually like, until she met shake ofc, clingy the way he is he prolly asked her to marry him in like the first week of knowing her lol. Took her some time to finally be his girlfriend officially, but now they're happy in a commited relationship, but still they don't think ab future, getting married and having children, they just love each other and thats it yk..

she's rlly lazy and messy, she lives in an appartment w popcarmen and she hates how destroyed margarett's room looks lol. She also has the habit of leaving junk food around the house, which pisses of popcarmen even more. And ofc, her habit is worse when shake is around, since they usually smoke together, watch movies and eat junk food, then they sleep and dont clean their mess most of the time.

margarett is rlly stupid (not as much as shake tho) and slow, so when shake tells her a joke she usually doesn't get it for HOURS, until when she finally gets it she laughs wherever she is, frequently startling ppl around her loll.

shes also pretty impulsive and can say stuff she regrets right after, she doesn't think too much before she acts.

margarett is rlly scared of being lonely and having the same feeling she felt when she was all alone in the lab when she first woke up from being created, shes rlly scared of losing ppl the loves.

most of the time she denies being wrong, not bc she knows shes wrong but doesnt admit it, but bc she ACTUALLY think shes right cus she dummmmb

she has a plutonian friend called jarvis, he helped her and her sister when they escaped from the lab. He owns a bar located in pennsylvania

hmmm theres prolly some more stuff but I cant remember it rn.. SOOO HERE U GO hope u guys like her as much as I do ^.^ AND SRRY if any of those are confusing to read, wrote this all pretty fast lol

[blkgirlsreadfanfic2]

CHAPTER ONE: The Vanishing of Will Byers

series masterlist chapter warnings: potentially inaccurate 80s references steve harrington x sinclair!oc

“Thanks, doll.” Jaz said, handing the pre-pubescent pizza boy a $20 bill.

“No problem.” He replied, walking back to his bike.

Jasmine Sinclair closed the door to her parents’ home in Hawkins, Indiana. 15-years-old and the oldest child of Charles and Sue Sinclair, Jasmine (or “Jaz”), carried herself with confidence. Her brown curly hair was pulled into a pineapple updo, and her tattered AC/DC shirt fell loosely over her shoulder. It was a Tuesday night, and while her brother Lucas was playing D&D at Mike Wheeler’s house, she was hosting band practice with two of her best friends, Amelia Rose and Katherine Brown.

“Was he cute?” a voice called from the kitchen.

Jasmine rolled her eyes as she set the pepperoni pizza down on the counter. The voice belonged to Amelia (or “Lia”); Lia’s orange hair glowed in the pale-yellow light of the Sinclair kitchen. Her hazel eyes gleamed with mischief and 12 freckles were grouped along her nose and cheeks.

“He was like 13, Lia. Way too young for you.”

“Hey, I was asking for Kat.” Lia defended.

“If he’s 13 then he’s definitely too young for me.” Kat said.

Katherine Brown was the oldest of the trio, a junior in high school and the unofficial leader. She popped open a Coke bottle on the kitchen counter, her perfectly manicured nails catching in the light. She had wavy black hair that came down to her shoulders and jet black eyes that often seemed to gaze into the depths of your very soul. It was fitting, she was also the most observant of the group.

The three girls had met during Lia and Jaz’s freshman year and Kat’s sophomore year. The three of them tried out for the school’s band but were told that their instruments were not needed. Frustrated over their rejection, the trio decided to start their own rock band. They named it the Bikini Roses which, in retrospect, probably wasn’t the best name they could have come up with. However, they had become attached to the name and used it when applying for gigs at the few clubs that would allow them in. Band practices were frequent in the beginning of the school year; the time where the summer air still lingered and teachers were more concerned with get-to-know you questions than whether or not your paper followed MLA format.

Jaz grabbed a paper plate from the stack and grabbed a slice of pizza, sitting on the stool next to Lia.

“Hey, what time was Lucas supposed to be home?” Kat asked.

“Like an hour ago. He never finishes on time though, I’ll call in the next 30 minutes.” Jaz answered.

In reality, Jaz would have been happier if Lucas just slept at Mike’s. She loved her little brother with all her heart, but his D&D nights meant she could have longer band practices with Lia and Kat. Erica was a heavy sleeper, so she was never bothered by the loud sounds of drums smashing in the garage. The band was Jaz’s ticket out of Hawkins for good, and the better they sounded, the better their chances of being famous.

“We should probably get going, Kat. My mom wants me home early tonight.” Lia said.

Kat nods and chugs the last of her Coke, placing the bottle down on the counter and wiping her mouth off. Kat and Lia finished their slices of pizza and exchanged hugs with Jaz. Once she head Kat’s car pull out of the driveway, Jaz made her way over to the phone, dialing the number to the Wheeler’s house. The line rang for a few seconds before Karen Wheeler’s voice was heard through the speaker.

“Wheeler residence.”

“Hey Mrs. Wheeler, it’s Jasmine. Is Lucas still there?” Jaz asked, using her best “talking to someone’s mom” voice.

“Yes, the boys are still downstairs. Do you want me to put him on the phone?”

“No, it’s all right. Can you just tell him that he needs to start making his way home?”

“Of course, Jasmine. Say hello to your mother for me.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Jaz hung up the receiver and began putting the pizza away, making sure the paper plates and napkins were stored properly. She closed the garage, made sure the porch lights were turned on, and grabbed her song book before settling down on the couch and turning the channel to MTV. They were still playing Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” music video. After about 20 minutes of waiting, the front door clicked and Lucas came into the house.

“Hey, Lucas.” Jaz greeted. “There’s pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry.”

“I’m okay.” Lucas told her, grabbing some water from the sink instead.

Jaz knew that Lucas had gone to bed after she heard a clink in the sink and the creak of the stairs as Lucas walked to his room. She got up and turned off the lights inside the house before turning in for the night.

the next morning…

“Jaz! Kat and Lia are here!”

Jaz jumped down the steps two at a time after her mother’s shouts. She kissed her parents on the cheek and jumped in the backseat of Kat’s Toyota Corolla. Lia reached back and handed Jaz a donut, and the trio began the drive to Hawkins High. Once they got there, the three separated and went off to their respective lockers then first period classes. Jaz’s first period was English, one of her favorite classes. Mrs. Jefferson was sweet; she picked interesting books for the class and allowed her students to choose almost any topic for their papers. English was also Jaz’s favorite because it was one of the few times she got to see her best friend - Jonathan Byers.

Jaz and Jonathan met at a thrift store in the city when they were in the eighth grade. With her birthday money in a small green wallet, Jaz wandered between the aisles before finding what she was looking for: cameras. She stared at the assortment of cameras, sticking to the used ones that cost $150 or less. As she was searching, a gangly boy with brown shaggy hair approached her.

“Um…hi.” He said, rocking back and forth on his heels with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Hi?” Jaz answered, unsure of his intentions.

“Are you new? To photography, I mean.”

“Yeah…I don’t know which camera to get.”

He looked at the cameras on the shelf before picking one up and inspecting it.

“This is a Chinon CE4. It’s uh…it’s pretty banged up but it should still work.”

“How much is it?”

The boy checked the tag before handing Jaz the camera. “It’s $120.”

“Cool.” Jax looked at the black-and-silver camera, turning it over in her hands. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Jaz and the boy awkwardly stared at each other for a bit before she spoke again.

“What’s your name?”

“Jonathan. What’s yours?”

“Jasmine.”

“Well um…I was gonna go…check out the cassettes section.”

“What are you looking for?”

“The new Phil Collins album.”

“Oh my gosh, I love it! My parents got it for my birthday but on vinyl.”

“Wanna help me look for it?”

Jaz smiled and nodded, following Jonathan to the music section. They looked around for 15 minutes, coming up empty.

“Sorry we didn’t find it, Jonathan.” Jaz apologized, feeling bad for her newfound friend.

“It’s okay, Jasmine. I can come back next month.”

“Well…do you live near Hawkins?” Jaz asked nervously.

“I actually live in Hawkins!” Jonathan answered excitedly.

“You can borrow my vinyl, you just gotta promise to bring it back.”

“Promise.”

Jaz extended her pinky and Jonathan wrapped his around hers. The two of them smiled as Jaz walked to the register and Jonathan walked back to his mother’s car. As the years went by, their shared love of rock music and photography caused them to grow even closer.

As Jaz took her seat, she noticed that Jonathan was missing. Odd…he was always insanely early to English class. Jaz didn’t have a chance to think on it much though; Mrs. Jefferson was about to start class. The rest of school went by in a similar manner. Even in her classes with Kat and Lia, Jaz noticed Jonathan’s absence more and more. He wasn’t a straight-A student, but it wasn’t like him to skip all of his classes - unless something was going on. Once the final bell rang, Jaz made a beeline for Hawkins Middle, searching for her brother. She found him getting on his bike alongside his friends Mike and Dustin. Oddly enough, Will Byers was also missing.

“Lucas!” She called as she rushed across the parking lot.

“Yeah, Jasmine?”

“You seen Will or Jonathan?”

Lucas opens his mouth to give some excuse, but his face gives it all away. Something is wrong.

“Lucas, where’s Will?”

“Will is missing.”

The words bounce around in Jasmine’s head, the weight of them unbearable.

“Go straight home, you hear me?” She tells Lucas, not waiting for him to respond as she runs back to the high school.

She finds Lia in the parking lot, talking to some of the D&D kids by her car.

“Lia! Lia!”

“Yeah Jaz?” She asks, pausing mid-conversation.

Jaz takes a second to catch her breath before continuing. “Can you give me a ride to Jonathan’s?”

“Yeah sure.” Lia turns back to who she was talking to. “I’ll find you at the Hideout later, Eddie.”

“’K.” Eddie Munson replies, shoving his hands into his pockets. “See you around Lia. Bye Jasmine.”

“Bye.” Jaz said. She watches as he walks off, turning back to Lia after he disappeared behind the building.

“You can’t be serious.” Lia scoffs, rolling her eyes at Jaz.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re not still harboring a crush on Munson?”

“I never had a crush on him.”

“I saw diary entries that would beg to differ.”

“It’s whatever. He’s like 80.”

“More like 19. Come on, let’s go.”

Jaz rolls her eyes and gets in the passenger seat of the car. Lia starts the car and the two of them begin the drive to the Byers’ house.

later that night…

After arriving at the Byers’ residence, Jonathan and Joyce catch Jaz up on the situation. They tell her how Will had been missing since the night before and how the chief had found his bicycle on the side of the road. After a bit of time, Jaz and Jonathan agreed to get some pizza for dinner. They got in the car and Jonathan began driving.

“So how are you really feeling, J?”

“I dunno…I feel like it’s my fault. I should’ve been there for when he got home; I shouldn’t have taken that extra shift.”

Jaz places a hand on Jonathan’s arm. “It’s not your fault. There’s no way you could have-”

“If Lucas had gone missing that night and you weren’t home, how would you feel?” Jonathan snapped.

Jaz sighed. “Probably the same as you.”

“Exactly.”

Jaz crossed her arms and looked out the window, unsure of how to continue. After a bit of time, she spoke up.

“So…Joyce mentioned a phone call? Are you sure it was Will?”

Jonathan visibly tensed at the question. Backtracking, Jaz said, “We don’t have to talk about it if-”

“No, it’s fine. She said she heard breathing, and she’s sure it was Will.”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“Well I didn’t hear it. And how could she know? I mean, it’s just breathing. How does she know Will’s?”

“She’s a mom, Jon. She knows her son’s breathing, the same way she would know your scream or your voice.”

Jonathan goes silent for a moment before speaking up again. “Maybe you’re right. But I don’t know, she just seems…out of it.”

“Well her son is missing. She’s allowed to be a little out of it.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Jaz gives him a small smile and places a hand on his knee. “Hey, I’m sure he’ll turn up soon. I made Lia and Kat join the search party.”

“Thanks JJ.”

“Anytime Jon.”

Jonathan grabs Jaz’s hand as he continues driving. It’s moments like these where the pair are grateful for each other. They’ve been there for all the big milestones - good and bad. Jonathan would always have Jasmine, and Jasmine would always have Jonathan. No matter what happens, they’ll always have each other.

i hope you all enjoyed! this is my first time trying to make a series like this, so I hope this worked! - z

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #253

I did a lot of stuff today, and I'm pretty tired, and so my brain is kinda soupy. I wanna tell you all about it, but my thoughts are kind of a jumbled mess at the moment. So I think I'll just start at the beginning!

At the grocery store yesterday, I got a new kind of tea - it's some kind of bergamot tea with lavender in it! And… yes, I know I already have like a million different kinds of tea, and yes, I know that I need an additional new tea in the same way that I need an additional hole in my skull, but I mean... just look at this tea tin!! Just look at it! It's so cute!

Here's what the inside of it looks like! And... oh!!! Sephiroth, it smells so good! It's like... tea, and also oranges, and also lavender! It's delectable!

...I wish I could put it under your nose so you can smell it. I think you would have really liked this one. Maybe you would have even liked it as much as I think you might like the vanilla rose tea that I left for you with those super important folks.

...Hey, Sephiroth? Did those things ever get to you...? And... if they did... do you like them...? ...Maybe if I ever see those super important folks again, I'll ask them to tell me what you thought.

...Well anyway. Here's how today's swirls turned out:

I added milk and honey to it. You'll want the sound off if you decide to look at the slow-motion video I took of the swirls:

I really like to see the fluid dynamics in action. I'm really glad I got a mug that lets me see it.

Along with the tea, I made myself a sandwich. There aren't a whole lot of better ways to start a day than tea and sandwiches, I think. This one was salami, roast beef, pepperoni, and cheese with onion and mayo. Because I got these things at the grocery yesterday, along with the tea:

...After that, I got to work. Ma was gonna visit today, and I am the sort of person who does not let folks who are visiting my house leave with an empty belly. So I decided to make garlic bread, slow-cooked pork ribs, and broccoli. We already had the broccoli at home; J had cut it up nicely for me the other day. But the pork ribs and the loaf of Italian bread, and the two heads of garlic I chopped to go with it were gotten yesterday at the grocery. It was good!

It's easy to make garlic herb butter. I used two sticks of butter, two finely minced heads of garlic, a little salt, and a bunch of different herbs. In this case, I used basil, parsley, oregano, marjoram, and ground coriander. It's not exactly traditional, probably, but I thought it turned out really well:

...After that, you just cut the bread in half along its length, and apply the garlic herb butter equally on both halves, like this:

I applied grated parmesan cheese and shredded mozzarella cheese to these, after that. I used a one-pound bag of mozzarella cheese, divided evenly between each half of the bread. Then you stick it in the oven at 400 degrees F (or about 204.4 degrees C) for about 15-20 minutes, depending on how browned you want your cheese.

I also put together a simple sauce to cook the pork ribs in. I got country-style ribs, which has a lot of connective tissue in it and good marbling. So if you cook it very slowly in an acid and with some onion enzymes, what you get is ribs that start to fall apart as they cook, such that in the end, they're tender enough to be eaten with a spoon.

To that end, I pureed 3 smallish onions and threw them in the crockpot. To that, I added some amount of oyster sauce, some amount of dark soy sauce, and some amount of mirin. Finally, I added some orange juice. Naturally, you taste-test the sauce to make sure the components are balanced in a way that your senses enjoy, and if something is off, you just add a little more of whatever you think is missing, easy peasy. From there, you stick in your pork ribs, make sure they're nice and covered in the sauce, put your lid on, set the temperature to High, and then set a kitchen timer for 4 hours.

From there, I had a lot of time before I needed to start cooking the broccoli, so Ma introduced me to a number of his games on his Nintendo Switch. One of them was called Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes. It's a two-player game, where one of the players has a bomb, and the other player has a manual that says how to disarm it. The player with the manual isn't allowed to see the bomb, and the player with the bomb isn't allowed to see the manual. So what has to happen is that the player with the bomb has to describe what they see, and the player with the manual has to tell the player with the bomb how to deactivate it. It's a very tense game!!!! But I thought it was a lot of fun!!

We also played Crypt of the NecroDancer, and I watched him play a little Sonic Frontiers, and we played a little StepMania on the lovely Frankenpad that I built, and we tried to play some Samurai Gunn, but we had a weird controller issue, so that one didn't work out...

But!!! Sephiroth!!! One of the games he introduced me to!!! It's on this fancy VR thing called Oculus, and the game is called Beat Saber!! And!!! You hit boxes in specified directions to the beat of music with light sabers!!!

Sephiroth!!!!!! I think you would like this game a lot!!!! And I think you'd be AMAZING at it!!! If you ever are in my neighborhood, we'll have to call Ma over to our house right away so you can try it!!! I wanna see what you can do!!!!!

...Personally, I thought it was a lot of fun. Though for me it was very disorienting. Because of the dyspraxia, I have no idea where my body is in space when I'm not looking at it. And the Oculus makes it so that you can't see your body, because instead you have these fancy VR goggles on. Admittedly, for me, it was a little scary at first. But I think I could get used to it, probably. I imagine that someone like you would likely not have an issue; I imagine you're probably not dyspraxic at all.

...Come to think of it, you'd probably be pretty amazing at StepMania and Dance Dance Revolution, too. I imagine you'd probably be pretty incredible at any rhythm-based game, actually. There's a bunch that I'd love to try with you sometime; I think you'd have a lot of fun.

Well. After all that, it was time for me to cook the broccoli, so I did. I sauteed it in a pan with butter, garlic powder, and parmesan cheese, and it turned out splendidly. Here's today's whole spread:

...Want some...?

...It's a silly question, I know. But... I'm gonna ask it anyway, because... I really wish you could have been here, having fun with us today.

...Please stay safe out there so maybe someday, as impossible as it is, you can. A lovely version of normal is waiting for you, right here. And... if nothing else... maybe you can use these silly letters of mine to build your own normal.

I guess I'll stop writing here for today.

I love you so much. And I'll write to you again very soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[aelaer]

The Earth-197320 series has been four and a half years in the making and the finale's finally set to publish. I've been working on it pretty actively for the last year and a half, so you will get regular updates on this story and I don't expect any delays in its posting.

I am super grateful to everyone who's stuck around for this long, and for any new readers, please feel free to check out the first story in this series if the summary and tags fit your fancy. I hope everyone enjoys the finale.

Primary Characters: Stephen Strange, Tony Stark Major Secondary Characters: Wong, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peter Parker, Vision Relationships: Primarily platonic with the above listed. Pepperony exists, but it's not primary relationship focus of the story or series. Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant with Movie: Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Sokovia Accords, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt Stephen Strange, In This Fic We Love And Cherish All Canon Characters, Stephen Strange is Actually a Doctor, Absolutely more tags to come as more fic comes

Summary:

The start of 2019 quickly turns annoying for Tony Stark as Stephen's promise of help gets delayed. He soon discovers that the Order of the Masters of the Mystic Arts have a dire situation that needs to be resolved-and quickly. And if he can get a bit of revenge while helping them get there, all the better for him. Stephen Strange, in the meanwhile, is caught between two promises with only so much time to give-and two worlds that he has now given his obligation to. His promises are the only way to atone for sins that are not his own, but ones still under his name. In the meantime, reality slowly breaks at the seams with each passing day.

Read the fic on AO3

[ironstrangeao3]

One Call Away

by IronStrange3000

Stephen still has nightmares about being trapped in the Soul World. The Cloak wants him to call his boyfriend for comfort, even though it's the middle of the night.

IronStrange Week Day Two Nervous | ORANGE.

Words: 1141, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of IronStrange Week 2023

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Doctor Strange (Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M, Multi

Characters: Stephen Strange, The Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), Tony Stark, Peter Parker

Relationships: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, The Cloak of Levitation & Stephen Strange

Additional Tags: IronStrange Week 2023, Orange, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Hurt Stephen Strange, Established Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Stephen Strange Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Polyamory, But Not Dr. Pepperony, (I know that's shocking coming from me), PTSD, Soul Stone | Soul Gem (Marvel)

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48834958

[damagedrot]

" like - THANKS. " she said easily enough crossing through the path he opened for her. ducking under his arm to make her way into the house. HER EYES PASSING BY HIS INFANT'S, " hey little dude. " she offered to the kiddo. not quite sure if she'd get a response, her mind more focused elsewhere anyways.

@jokethur . /. continued.

" your house is . . . wowzers. " it was half hearted, but she wasn't the best at complimenting someone else's home. her aunt's was a upscale Gotham abode. made for two. kept together by hired maids, && unfamiliar faces. coming through the home as frequently to conduct business with her uncle. her aunt was scarcely made to be there. but Lucy never really needed adult supervision. especially tonight.

hair, still bubblegum pink, with jaded pieces poking out here and there. she was good at adjusting, and easily found the kitchen after wrestling past their pets, " pizza - totally needed it. " she grabbed herself a slice. preferring the cold cheesy bread with pepperoni to microwaving it.

her eyes ducked down as her imaginary boyfriend entered the room. his glasses left on his nose even as he pushed them back over his eyes. Freddy had always been pretty introverted, but he was oogling her quietly the moment she first cut her hair, && applied that hair dye. saying that she looked like a celebrity, or an anime girl. she never understood his references, but he had trailed with her the whole way to Arthur's , " you think he has netflix? " Freddy asked.

" you think my aunt's --- gonna be pissed? " Lucy said instead. eyes looking around the room. Mapping out all the crooks and crannies, " she didn't see me leave. " she said that out louder for Arthur to hear.

" and . . . it's a look? " mentioning her hair. hands coming up to touch the strands. wrapping a small portion around her finger.

". yeah - you need to fix it. " freddy playfully jabbed at her. chuckling into his ninetendo switch.

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Face First(aid) by happyaspie

Part 22 of Sicktember 2021-2023

No Archive Warnings Apply | Rated T | Word Count: 3,069 |Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Sick and Injured

Summary: While out on patrol, Peter decided he might not be feeling all that well. Eventually, he decides to swing home but his stomach is iffy, his body aches and his brain is a bit sluggish. As a result, he ends up slamming face first into a billboard, creating an explosion of pain around his nose. His AI was quick to alert Mr. Stark and bring up an ETA countdown in the corner of his HUD. He can’t decide if he was annoyed or relieved.

“Hey, Kid. Does your face hurt?”

Sicktember 2023 Prompts:

- Sick and Injured - "I could Really Use a Hug Right About Now"

[Excerpt below the cut]

It was relatively early in the evening when Peter left for patrol. He suited up and crawled through his window before shooting a web toward the nearest building. His stomach did a tiny backflip as he propelled himself forward but he didn’t think anything of it. May was out of town and he’d just eaten an entire double pepperoni pizza by himself. He’d not even bothered to take into account that he’d been feeling a tiny bit off all day. Whatever that was, he hadn’t quite been able to put his finger on it. Therefore he’d deemed himself healthy enough to go swing around the city helping the little guy.

By the time the clock struck eleven, Peter realized he’d not eaten anything since dinner. That was an odd occurrence on any given day. Generally speaking, no matter how much food he stuffed into his face he was always ready for more within a few hours time. Especially while he was active. He paused atop a water tower, crouched down so he could survey the city while trying to self-scrutinize. He wasn’t particularly hungry. He was oddly tired, though. And as he sat there, he started to realize his joints were starting to become a little achy. He was just starting to think that perhaps he should call it a night when his spider-sense flared beneath his skin. 

“Oh, come on!” he grumbled to himself. He immediately swung down, ignoring the way it made his head swim, and landed casually near the broken glass. “You’ve had all night to break into this store, but you waited until I was ready to go home to do it? Not cool, Man.” The bad guy whipped around brandishing a gun. Peter instantly shot a web to rip it from his hands. “You definitely do not need one of those. And while we're at it, you really shouldn't be taking stuff that doesn't belong to you.”

“What are you? My mother?” the bad guy asked while darting toward a jewelry case. He never made it there. Peter shot three more webs successfully sticking the guy to a fancy sunglasses display.

“You should probably look for a better side hustle. This one's clearly not working out for you,” he quipped before requesting his AI contact the local police.

As he climbed up the nearest building he sighed. “Time to go home, Karen,” he said, hoping nothing pressing would pop up on his way there. Fighting the one guy hadn't been much of a chore but his body was protesting it anyway. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for the next three days. He scratched the back of his neck where sweat was starting to collect and rolled his uncomfortable shoulders. “I’m not sure I’m feeling so hot.”

“On the contrary,” Karen cheerfully declared. “Your body temperature appears to be mildly elevated.”

“Great,” Peter clipped with faux enthusiasm. Though the presence of a fever, even a little one was enough to confirm what he already suspected. He was definitely sick. “Just what I wanted to hear.”

“My protocols don’t require me to inform you or anyone else of your body temperature unless it reaches one point five degrees above your average reading,” Karen replied. “Would you like for me to adjust that parameter to one degree?”

“No, Karen.” Despite the mildly uneasy feeling that was settling in his stomach, he chuckled.. “I was being sarcastic.”

A full minute passed before Karen responded. “Sarcasm has been noted.”

[Continue reading on AO3]

[rppromptarchive]

Sentence starters - The Pizza Brothers skits by Prozd. Edit as necessary! Or feel free to substitute pizza out for literally anything else.

King Dragon starters, Chairem Anime starters

"Brother...I know now."

"A good pie isn't just about ingredients or technique...it's about the love you put into it."

🎵 "Pepperoni pizza pie..." 🎵

"One of these days, we're gonna open our own pizza place."

"We're gonna make a pie so good, it'll reach the stars."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What? I'm serious! C'mon!"

"Hey, cut it out, bro! That really hurt!"

"So it's a show about...pizza?"

"IT'S NOT JUST A SHOW ABOUT PIZZA!"

"I'm just saying...if we put...pizza on the menu..."

"We don't do pizza, [name]. I don't do pizza. Not anymore."

"I know this is hard for you..."

"You don't know. You can say you know, you can say you understand. But you don't. You need to let this go."

"Your brother wouldn't want this."

"DON'T tell me what my brother would have wanted. We'll never know what he would've wanted now."

"I applied to be your sous chef because I tasted one of your pies."

"I can't watch you do this to yourself."

"Then go."

🎵 "WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE, THAT'S AMORE—" 🎵

[ketorecipepost]

PHILLY CHEESE STEAK CASSEROLE

Philly Cheese Steak Casserole Cook Time 45 minutes Total Time 50 minutes Servings 6 Calories 366 kcal Ingredients - 1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef - 2 bell peppers - 1/2 yellow onion - 1 clove garlic - 1 teaspoon seasoned salt - 4 slices Provolone cheese - 4 large eggs - 1/4 cup heavy cream - 1 teaspoon hot sauce - 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce Instructions: - Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9×9 baking dish with non-stick spray. - Dice the peppers and onions into bite-sized pieces. Mince the garlic. - Add the ground beef to a skillet and cook over medium heat, crumbling as it cooks. - When beef is broken apart, but still pink, add the peppers, onion, garlic, and seasoned salt. Continue cooking, stirring often, until beef is cooked through and vegetables have softened a bit. - Drain grease from the skillet and pour mixture into the prepared baking dish. - Tear the cheese into small pieces and place over the beef mixture. - Add the eggs, cream, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce to a mixing bowl and whisk well to combine. - Pour the egg mixture over the beef and place the dish in the oven. Bake for 35 minutes or until the eggs are set. - Let sit 5 minutes before slicing and serving. Keto tips: No fruit, unless it’s berries in moderation… No wheat No sugar No grains No pasta No potatoes No rice No beans No starches No milk as it’s loaded with sugar. ( unsweetened almond milk is recommended.) HWC (Heavy whipping cream) is good in coffee or whatever you would like to use it for. Meat, cheese, eggs, vegetable, nuts, and healthy fats. It’s simple. Stick to that, and you should be ok! Vegetables that should be avoided are… Sweet potatoes Corn Peas Potatoes Carrots – can be used in moderation, just don’t go over board. They are full of starches and not recommended. Make sure to drink half your body weight In oz of water as well if you aren’t getting the adequate amount of water it can be bad for your kidneys! This applies for all forms of keto. Do not forget your electrolytes, they are needed daily. A good form of electrolytes is: Powerade zero Pickle juice Pink Himalayan salt added to your food Strict keto – counts all macros, do not eat processed foods. Lazy keto – doesn’t track all macros, still eats processed foods, as long as they are on plan Macros are a break down of the calories you intake for the day. Which should be… 5% carbs 20% protein 75% fat Carb manager is a great app to track macros Carbs are a limit – try not to go over your carb limit. Fat is a lever – you don’t have to meet your fat macro, it’s simply there to help you get full. Protein is a goal- try your best to reach your protein goal, but try not to go over. Excessive amounts of protein can cause you to stall in weight loss. Anything other than this food group selection would be considered low carb. Also, if you are in ketosis, and eat outside of this food group not only could it take you out of ketosis, but it could spike your blood sugar! Which can make you sick. Hope this helps.  If you are a keto newbie- This should help  Meats: ZERO CARBS  • Beef- Ground beef, Steak, Ribs, and Roasts • Pork- Chops, Ribs, BACON, Loins, sausage • Chicken/Turkey- Thighs w/skin or wings are the best because breasts are high in protein. However, you CAN eat breasts, just have to eat more fat to compensate. • Fish- Tuna, Salmon, Cod, Haddock, etc. • Shrimp/Lobster- Go crazy, use lots of butter! • Pepperoni Cheese: MOST are no carb, almost all are low carb • Mozerella & Cheddar- Buy in bulk, they freeze well and are insanely versatile! • Colby jack, pepper jack, monterrey jack • Taco style, Mexican style • Parmesan, Asiago • Ricotta- Freezes well, very versatile • Cottage cheese- Good to throw in your lunch with berries, usually around 4-8g of Carbs per serving • Cream Cheese- Freezes very well, this is one of the things that I always glance at whenever I go to the store, and always buy a bunch of if it’s under 75 cents per 8oz. Vegetables: No potatoes! Get your carbs from above ground veggies!!! • Leafy greens- Spinach, Spring mix, Kale, Romaine • Zucchini- Great for a noodle substitute! • Avacado- Awesome source of natural fat! • Eggplant • Brussels sprouts • Tomato • Spaghetti Squash- Versatile, makes a great spaghetti substitute and is even great for making hash browns!! • Cucumber • Peppers- Jalepeño, banana, green/red/yellow/ orange bell • Broccoli- Great with cheese, steamed or just raw! • Asparagus- Awesome roasted or sautéed with bacon and garlic! • Cauliflower- AWESOME potato substitute!! • Celery- Great with cream cheese or all natural peanut butter! • Cabbage • Pickles (Read nutrition labels, watch for sugar and carbs) • Olives • Green beans- Awesome sautéed in bacon grease with garlic, (watch portion size, though). • Onions- Red, yellow: use somewhat sparingly, to taste Fruits: Most are a no-no, especially bananas, oranges and grapes. • Strawberries • Blueberries • Raspberries • Blackberries • Lemon/Limes- Adds great flavor! Nuts (grams of Carbs per 100 grams, or 3.5 oz) • Pecans/ Brazil (4g) • Macadamia (5g) • Hazelnut/Walnut/Peanut (7g) • Pine (9g) • Almond (10g) • Pistachio (18g) • Cashew (27g) Oils/Fats • Coconut Oil • Butter: Kerry Gold is best but just make sure it’s REAL butter and not a spread or margarine • Olive Oil • Vinaigrette • Hollandaise • Bacon/sausage grease • MCT oil- easily ordered online/in specialty stores Dressings/Condiments/Fats • Ranch, Blue cheese, Cesar, Thousand Island, Balsamic- Watch carbs/ sugar, but there’s tons of brands, so you can find one you love! • Mayo- Natural/organic is best, but I use Hellmann’s all the time. • Aioli • Heinz “NO SUGAR ADDED” Ketchup or sugar free ketchup • G. Hughes brand sugar free BBQ sauce • Yellow/Spicy Brown Mustard • Soy sauce • Hot sauce Liquids: Use as base for sauces/soups • Heavy Whipping Cream (HWC) • Broths/Stocks: Stay away from reduced fat. Bone broth is awesome! Snacks • Pepperoni • Slim Jims/jerky (watch carbs) • Homemade cheese its/ tortilla chips • Cheese • Pork rinds (0 carbs, very versatile. Can be used as breading, nacho substitute or even sprinkled with cinnamon & stevia and eaten like cereal with Almond milk and tastes like cinnamon toast crunch!) Drinks • WATER- Lots of it! • Crystal Light- Tons of options and very convenient! • Tea with stevia • Coffee- Add a Tablespoon of coconut oil or MCT oil, Stevia, heavy whipping cream and imitation vanilla/ Hazelnut or Cocoa powder & peppermint BOOM Homemade creamer! Alcoholic Beverages • Beers (grams of carbs per 12 oz serving)  Bud Select 55 (1.9)  MGD 64 (2.4)  Rolling Rock Green Light (2.4)  Michelob Ultra (2.6)  Bud Select (3.1)  Beck’s Premier Light (3.2)  Natural Light (3.2)  Michelob Ultra Amber (3.7)  Coors Light (5)  Amsterdam Light (5)  Bud Light (6.6) • Vodka: Whipped Vodka & flavored water or pineapple Pinnacle with crystal light are a couple of my favorites! • Whiskey shot (0g carbs) • Brandy shot (0g carbs) • Dry Martini (0g carbs) • Tequila shot (0g carbs) • Champagne (~1g per serving) • Dry wine (~2g per serving) Sweeteners • Stevia drops (0g) • Erythritol (0g) • Truvía (0g) • Monkfruit (0g) Other common Ingredients I use • Almond flour • Spices: Garlic powder, onion powder Dont forget your electrolytes, they are needed daily. • A good form of electrolytes is: • Powerade zero keto recipes keto recipes chicken keto chicken recipes keto recipes dessert keto recipes easy keto recipes dinner keto recipes ground beef keto recipes for breakfast keto recipes breakfast keto recipes with ground beef keto recipes uk keto recipes healthy keto recipes with chicken keto recipes free keto recipes for beginners keto recipes lunch keto recipes with almond flour keto recipes book keto recipes with cream cheese keto recipes vegetarian keto recipes australia keto recipes dairy free keto recipes nz keto recipes reddit keto juice recipes keto recipes for weight loss keto recipes pinterest keto recipes indian keto recipes for one keto recipes thermomix Read the full article

[starseedfxofficial]

Ultimate Oscillator: Quarterly Forex Tactics You Need Today Unlocking the Ultimate Oscillator: Quarterly Tactics to Elevate Your Forex Game Ah, the Ultimate Oscillator. Sounds like a machine from a sci-fi movie, doesn’t it? Don’t worry; it’s not a laser-shooting gadget. It’s actually a sophisticated momentum indicator, a gem for those of us in the Forex world. Today, we're going deep into how you can use the Ultimate Oscillator in your quarterly analysis to predict market movements like a pro. Trust me, there’s no need for quantum physics or time travel—though, I do wish we had a DeLorean for some of my early trades... The Hidden Formula Only Experts Use You might be thinking, "The Ultimate Oscillator? I’ve heard about it, but why would I need it quarterly?" Great question, and the answer might surprise you: quarterly analysis is where the real magic happens. Most traders get obsessed with daily and weekly charts, but quarterly analysis is like peeking behind the curtain of a Broadway show—you see the entire performance unfold. The Ultimate Oscillator is fantastic because it blends multiple timeframes into one. It uses short, medium, and long-term oscillations, creating a kind of “triple-layer cake” of market sentiment. Imagine biting into a cake and getting all the layers of flavor at once—that’s what the Ultimate Oscillator does for traders. Why Most Traders Get It Wrong (And How You Can Avoid It) The common mistake with the Ultimate Oscillator? Traders use it like a regular RSI, expecting to get all the insights just by glancing at a single timeframe. It’s like expecting a pizza to taste great with just one topping—sure, cheese is fine, but why settle for boring when you can get extra pepperoni, mushrooms, and some spicy sauce? When applied to a quarterly analysis, the Ultimate Oscillator allows you to see the real trend strength across the bigger picture. You won’t just know if a pair is overbought or oversold in the short term; you’ll understand if the market sentiment aligns across multiple timeframes. Trust me, it's like finding out that your pizza comes with a free side of garlic knots—pure trading joy. How to Predict Market Moves with Precision Here's the secret sauce: set your Ultimate Oscillator to focus on quarterly data points. This helps avoid false signals that often pop up with shorter timeframes. For instance, when the quarterly Ultimate Oscillator rises above 70, it’s not just some one-off overbought signal. It’s like the entire market screaming at you, "Hey, this trend is REAL. Get ready to act." Conversely, when the Ultimate Oscillator dips below 30 during a quarterly review, it's a strong indicator of an undervalued asset. Imagine going to a shoe sale where you find those rare sneakers you’ve been eyeing—and they’re actually in your size! That’s what identifying undervalued positions with quarterly data feels like. The Forgotten Strategy That Outsmarted the Pros There’s a little-known trick with the Ultimate Oscillator that only the most seasoned pros use: divergence on quarterly charts. Regular divergence is powerful, but when you spot divergence on a quarterly chart? Oh boy, you’re in for some massive gains. Let’s say you see the price forming lower lows, but the Ultimate Oscillator is doing its own thing and showing higher lows. What does that mean? It means the market is quietly accumulating. It’s like when you’re in a meeting, and everyone’s nodding in agreement, but you’ve spotted the real opportunity—that’s divergence at work. Trade accordingly, and you’ll be winking at the market like you both share a secret. The Quarterly Ninja Tactics You Need to Know - Blend Oscillator Levels with Quarterly Highs/Lows: Identify key quarterly resistance and support levels, and match those with the Ultimate Oscillator peaks. This gives you a roadmap that’s not just useful—it’s like finding the secret map in a treasure hunt. - Stay Ahead of Quarterly Reports: Pair your quarterly oscillator analysis with upcoming economic indicators, like GDP reports. The goal here is to identify when the oscillator is trending, and pair it with real-world financial data to confirm. It's like having a cheat sheet in an open-book test. - Use Divergence to Ride the Trends: As mentioned earlier, divergence on a quarterly chart is like seeing the Matrix. Use it when the oscillator says, "Nope, I’m not following this downward price nonsense," while the price tries its hardest to scare traders. This insight helps you catch the turning point right when the pros are scratching their heads. Avoiding Pitfalls: The Myths About the Ultimate Oscillator The biggest myth? People think it’s just another RSI. Let me assure you, treating the Ultimate Oscillator like an RSI is akin to trying to enter a Formula One race with your mom’s old minivan. Sure, it’s a vehicle, but it’s not designed for the same level of performance. The Ultimate Oscillator captures momentum with a weighted average, giving you a richer, more complex understanding of the market sentiment. This means that when used in quarterly analyses, it doesn’t just tell you what’s hot or cold right now—it lets you see what’s trending across the seasons. The beauty of the Ultimate Oscillator for quarterly analysis is the kind of clarity it provides—a 10,000-foot view where you can see every trend, movement, and potential pitfall. Whether you’re new to Forex or a seasoned trader, using the Ultimate Oscillator in your quarterly analysis means you’re not just seeing the pieces—you’re seeing the entire chessboard. —————– Image Credits: Cover image at the top is AI-generated Read the full article

[dadjokestop]

Pizza is a favorite food for many kids, and what better way to enjoy it than with some delightful pizza jokes for kids? These cheesy puns and playful one-liners are perfect for sharing at the dinner table or with friends. Get ready to slice up some laughter with these 30 deliciously funny jokes! Hilarious Pizza Jokes for Kids Why did the pizza maker go broke? Because he just couldn't make enough dough! What type of person doesn’t like pizza? A weir-dough! Why did the pizza apply for a job? It needed some extra toppings! How does a pizza introduce itself? “Slice to meet you!” What did the pizza say to the topping? “You complete me!” Why did the pepperoni break up with the cheese? Because it found someone more “topping” for it! What’s a pizza’s favorite movie? “A Slice of Life!” Why do pizzas never play hide and seek? Because they always get “caught” in the oven! What do you call a sleeping pizza? A “pillow” pizza! Why did the pizza get invited to every party? Because it was a “slice” of fun! How do pizzas get around town? They take a “cheese bus!” Why did the mushroom get invited to the pizza party? Because he was a real “fungi!” What type of pizza do you eat in the winter? A “chill-ly” pizza! Why did the pizza go to school? To get a little “topping” education! What did the pizza say to the kid? “You make me feel saucy!” What do you call a pizza that tells jokes? A “funny pie!” Why was the pizza sad? Because it had too many “crust” issues! How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste! What’s a pizza’s favorite instrument? The “trombone” (because it has a great “slice”!) Why did the pizza break up with the salad? Because it found it too “dressing!” What did one pizza say to the other? “You’re really saucy!” What do you call a pizza with a great sense of humor? “Punny” pizza! How did the pizza propose? With a “pepperoni” ring! Why was the pizza so good at baseball? Because it knew how to “catch” flies! What’s a pizza’s favorite game? “Toppings” and ladders! Why did the pizza go to the party? Because it heard there would be a “doughnut” of fun! What’s a pizza’s favorite place to relax? “Crust” beach! Why did the pizza refuse to fight? Because it didn’t want to get “sauced!” What do you call a pizza that can sing? A “pepperoni” superstar! Why did the pizza go to the gym? To get its “cheese” in shape! What do you call a pizza that loves to tell stories? A “tale-pizza!” Why was the pizza so good at math? Because it knew how to slice numbers! What did the pizza do after it won an award? It threw a “sauce”-casion! How do you know if a pizza is lying? It’s always “cheesy!” Wrapping Up with a Smile And there you have it—30 delightful pizza jokes for kids that are sure to add a sprinkle of laughter to any meal! Share these jokes with your family and friends, and keep the fun rolling at your next pizza party. Remember, a little humor goes a long way in making pizza night even more enjoyable!