#people’s behavior exists largely as a reaction to their environment

[heavenpierceher]

i think discourse on this site would rapidly become significantly less annoying if we replaced “fandom purity culture policing” or whatever the fuck it is people call it with “moral scrupulosity” which is the actual term for that behavior

[spectrumgarden]

I keep thinking about how no one seems to think about nuance when it comes to like, the concept of "autistic traits / symptoms" and discussing them, and how that is intertwined with the push to not consider it a disability. And its complex to discuss, but here's my convoluted thoughts. I know it's long but I hope people will take the time to read it.

There are in fact people who do fit some commonly associated with autism traits that are not impaired by them. Let's make up a guy, for a second:

They like routine and repetition a lot but easily handle change in them. For example they wear the same set of clothes for years with no desire to ever branch out, but if you made them wear something else they wouldnt really be bothered by it as long as they dont think it's super ugly, etc. They like to watch the same movies over and over but happily agree to watch other things with their friends when spending time together, and are engaged and interested in those movies. Etc. They speak very formally or choose "complicated" words for things that could be expressed easier. They however do not face problems with communication beyond annoyance of others because they're able to rephrase things easily to be understood, and they also have a normal back and forth in conversations and initiate conversations normally. They sometimes engage in subtle self stimulating behaviors and recognize the desire to do so during boring or stress inducing times (which pretty much everyone does, btw). They dislike loud environments but do not respond with melt- or shutdowns or any other "severe" reactions, and while for example preferring to go to a museum over a club, they easily go through their daily life in busy areas like city centers, shops or cultural events like parades without issues beyond like, mild annoyance and no desire to stay for longer than necessary. They have strong interests in seemingly random topics and spend quite some time researching or engaging with those, but they do not view the world through the lense of said interest, they do not neglect caring for themselves or fulfilling academic or professional responsibilities because they are so engrossed in their interests, they are easily able to hold conversations about other topics. I could go on.

This person would not be diagnosed with autism by any doctor who pays attention to the impairment clause of the diagnosis. They would probably be told "you're subclinical / you do not meet enough criteria / ..." While his person would probably relate quite a bit to (parts of) descriptions of (level 1 and / or low support needs and / or high masking) autism. And this is an imaginary person I made up, but these people obviously exist (and as a side note, are probably what people refer to when they talk about "everyone being a little autistic" etc)

And this person being told they're not autistic might be upset. Because clearly, they have so many autistic traits. They relate to so many videos! But the thing is! There is no impairment! The one thing that connects all of the symptoms related to autism to the actual diagnosis. This does not mean they do not in fact relate to the autistic experience. This does not mean these parts of their life or personality are fake / non existent / not important to who they are and how they experience things. But it is important to differentiate. If they consider themselves autistic, if the world considers them autistic, it waters down the definition to a point of being categorically useless from a medical standpoint, from a standpoint of figuring out who needs support and in what ways. Who needs (early) intervention, who needs extra support in school or at work or at home or in public.

And like. Humanity at large will probably always want to shove themselves into random categories. "Which character are you like?" "What is your personality style?" "What is your star sign?" or "which sports team do you support", and countless more come to mind. I dont think this imaginary person is wrong or silly for wanting to find a category of people they are like, or recognizing this similarity with some autistic people. I wouldnt even mind if they made up a non-clinical category / group of people who relate to autistic experiences without the impairment. It would get the point across that it is a group of people with shared experiences, but it is not the same as autism.

However autism is increasingly treated like something thats just a personality type without impairment, by people online and offline. And when they go "this is an autism symptom" without nuance, without looking at the need for impairment, or even differential diagnosis, it spreads that attitude. "Liking to eat the same foods is an autistic trait"... or is it normal to have food preferences to a degree if it does not cause you stress to eat new foods, if you are capable of eating other food if hungry and presented with them and not the food you prefer? Or is this person anorexic and their mind has created categories of "allowed to eat" and "not allowed to eat" based on arbitrary categories relating to their fear of weight gain? "Only eating with small spoons at home is a common autistic trait"... or is it a harmless preference as long as you are still able to eat food outside a strict routine set up with zero possible deviations? Or is it a person with OCD and eating with small spoons is a compulsive behavior for some sort of intrusive thoughts?

I could go on forever. But in the end, these short sentences are all the same. They are, at the same time: autistic experiences and allistic experiences, because they are so non specific. They are watered down and any additional information is removed.

autism is about a specific combination of experiences that impair you. That's literally all it is. It does not automatically turn us into a category of "other" that is fully not possible to relate to, because we are human too. And some of it will be relatable to people that are not autistic!

And there is value in discussions of experiences of autistic people that go beyond the impairment, as long as we do not forget about it, or treat it as secondary instead of the defining factor. I dont mind if autistic people bond over something they're not impaired by, that they see as a common experience, for example not easily going along with authority. Being creative. Preferring the small spoon (without being impaired by it while having other impairments), whatever, and call those common autistic experiences. But those are not the pillars of what make up autism and solely relating to them should not be your reason for calling yourself autistic. Neither should relating to commonly impairing symptoms without being impaired by your version of them. The impairments resulting from abnormal development are what makes someone autistic.

There needs to be more nuance, detail, when discussing autism symptoms. And the push to, at the very least, expand autism into an area of experiences that do not cause impairment of any kind, or worse claim it never caused impairment, need to stop. It does not help anyone.

I genuinely think part of the whole "everyone is autistic these days" crowd who likes to go after people and invalidate them has picked up on some of this, but they lack the skills to criticize it for what it actually is and / or they want there to be a simple solution, which is that everyone who calls themselves autistic online who does not fit their very stereotypical view is faking. They are wrong of course. But I dont think this comes out of nowhere. There is something to criticize about how autism is treated in many circles, especially among younger people.

I'm really not sure how to end this post because I like to come to some conclusions on my long posts but just. Uhm. The way some people treat "autistic traits" as completely unrelated to the impairment they cause while staying exclusively autistic traits is wrong. The way people try to redefine autism is harmful and in the end not needed because they could simply invent other words for that experience.

[wiinestories]

John & lsabella || @wrldofmyown [ closed starter ]

The Tarasov mob had long been a persistent thorn in John's side, a relentless adversary that seemed to haunt him at every turn. The memory of Helen's death, a wound that never truly healed, served as a constant reminder of the pain and loss he had endured. Her tragic demise had propelled John into a world of darkness and violence, forcing him to confront aspects of himself that he never thought possible. In the wake of Helen's death, John's perspective on life had shifted dramatically.

No longer content to simply exist in the shadows, John had embarked on a journey of vengeance and redemption, determined to rid the world of the evil that had taken his beloved from him. Meanwhile, Viggo Tarasov, head of the criminal syndicate, tasked one of his most trusted lieutenants, Yuri Zavorotko, with the crucial assignment of locating John and delivering his remains to him. This task came with an enormous compensation, serving as Zavorotko's biggest motivation. However, unbeknownst to Viggo and his men, John had secret associates within the Tarasov organization, allowing him to stay one step ahead. Now, John had set his sights on Zavorotko, determined to eliminate him and send a powerful message to his enemies.

This task required the assassin to travel to the vibrant city of London, specifically to the British Museum where Zavorotko was attending a charity event. Dressed in his signature black clothing, John Wick opted to wear sunglasses and tie his dark locks of hair into a small ponytail, hoping to blend in and avoid drawing attention to himself as he stalked his adversary. The charity gathered many affluent people from across Europe, possibly more than a hundred, which was a clear advantage for him and suited him to blend in easily. Once inside the building, John's gaze wandered over the paintings and structures held within, each one a relic of history. He couldn't help but appreciate the artistry surrounding him, even amidst the bustling atmosphere of the event. Busy locations like this weren't his preferred environment; he longed for the tranquility he had lost ever since becoming the target of relentless pursuit.

As he made his way to the center of the large room, John spotted his target with a young woman, but their interaction was far from amicable. The man seemed to be harassing her, and while John wasn't fond of such behavior towards women, he knew he couldn't risk being seen by his target when the element of surprise was his greatest weapon. He waited until she had been left alone and Zavototko had stranded far from her to approach her. After all, John easily read the woman’s reaction; she was shaken, upset and even terrified. Fucking asshole.

"Miss, excuse me," John began in a tone of voice that wasn't loud, but just enough for her to hear. "I couldn't help but notice what just happened. Are you alright?" Of course, he was playing innocent, and hoped she knew something about Yuri that he didn’t know.

[aceduchessdragoness]

[id: 1st picture is a fact taken from Wikipedia that says, “Sharks can have cancer. The misconception that sharks do not get cancer was spread by the 1992 book Sharks Don’t Get Cancer,”

2nd picture is a 1 panel comic. It’s a drawing of a teacher looking at her laptop and saying, “Okay, middle school students, it’s the first Tuesday in February. This means that by law and custom, we must spend the morning reading through the Wikipedia article List of Common Misconceptions, so you can spend the rest of your lives being a little less wrong. The guests at every party you’ll ever attend thank us in advance.”

Pictures 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 are more facts from the Wikipedia article: “Urine is not sterile, even in the bladder.” / “Female praying mantises rarely eat the males during reproduction, especially in their natural environment. In a study in a laboratory at the University of Central Akransas, it was observed that 1 out of 45 times the female ate the male before mating, and the male ate the female with the same frequency.” / “Sugar does not cause hyperactivity in children. Double-blind trials have shown no difference in behavior between children given sugar-full or sugar-free diets, even in studies specifically looking at children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or those considered sensitive to sugar. A 2019 meta-analysis found no positive effect of sugar consumption on mood but did find an association with lower alertness and increased fatigue within an hour of consumption, known as a sugar crash.” / “All humans learn in fundamentally similar ways. In particular, there is no evidence that people have different learning styles, or that catering teaching styles to purported learning styles improves retention.” / ““420” did not originate from the Los Angeles police or penal code for marijuana use. California Penal Code section 420 prohibits the obstruction of access to public land. The use of “420” started in 1971 at San Rafael High School, where it indicated the time, 4:20 pm, when a group of students would go to smoke.”

Picture 8 is another fact: “Infants can and do feel pain.”

Picture 9 is a fact and picture 10 is a reaction: “People do not swallow large amounts of spiders during sleep. A sleeping person makes noises that warn spiders of danger.” And the next image is of a person pointing in confusion.

Pictures 11 and 12 are comments regarding the “learning styles” fact:

11:

micheghost02: I’ll have to look into the misconception about learning styles. As someone who has an auditory processing disorder, i benefit from more with a visual and hands on process (if available, can’t do hands on with history).

dementedmk, @micheghost02: I could be wrong here, but my guess is that this probably doesn’t take processing disorders or similar learning challenges into account, which makes it less true as a universal statement but might be more specifically helpful for the general population? Idk

tinbells: Yea. the learning styles one, has like… ignores the existence of people with disabilities? Also doesn’t make is obvious the kind of ways we teach doesn’t line up with how people learn.

chlora-boii: the learning styles one is super suspect

12:

gay-4-space, @chlora-boii @tinbells: the learning styles one has quite a bit of scientific literature to back it up, not just the ones linked in the article. And yes, it does ignore people with disabilities as its focusing of the idea of the general public, while most papers and reviews of the topic acknowledge that people have preferences in how information is presented, the retention of that information is

gay-4-space: is not affected by those different types. I have a learning disability myself so I was also skeptical but the science to back it up in the general populace just isn’t there /id]

wikipedia is a gem

[void-rainbow]

(mentions of abuse) (but more about the after effects)

(still, um, inclusion of sexual trauma. and the topic of sexuality. and triggers)

Embarrassed sometimes by my own behavior.

Hate that sometimes getting trapped in my own....I don't know what to call it. Horrors.

Being in an environment in which I can 100% escape uncomfortable situations. Either by leaving/taking a break or telling people "hey I'm uncomfortable" and knowing that they're good and will respect me and we can change course. But no. Sometimes I don't do that. And I hate it. Hate having a reaction to things that disturb me and then going harder on them.

Maybe I'll just be writing something for myself and then my brain fills with horrors and I don't even realize. Leaking everywhere into everything. And I'll be like lol this is just ridiculous fun isn't it. Horror is fun. Messed up things can be interesting. And only realizing very late that I'm in a nightmare world of my own creation and deeply disturbed and it hurts and I'm just gonna laugh until it turns to screams of pain and fear and mourning

Or playing ttrpgs with friends and the chance to flirt to distract your enemies comes up and getting too into the rp of it and I've overdone it outside my comfort zone and absolutely no one is making me do this. And maybe no one notices because it's not like it's inappropriate behavior for the setting. But I notice and feel terrible like I can't control myself. And maybe when I bring it up with friend when we were gonna start wlw specific ttrpg she says I shouldn't play because it would be too uncomfortable for others to be around that and I should figure out sexuality elsewhere.

Where. Where. Don't feel fit to be around other people sometimes. My mind is full of nightmares and they'll escape.

Can only guess at why. Not for why the nightmares exist, but why they leak out so horribly.

Being in an environment for years where everyone around you supports an abuser. Even if they don't like him. Supporting "harmony". But harmony means doing whatever he says, because anything else makes him a sad hurt victim who I'm hurting by not complying with his wants, who everyone else has to rise and defend by chastising me for making him so sad and hurt. And learning that the safest place was to comply no matter how uncomfortable or hurting I was. Run to danger and inhabit it to try to be safe. Until everything gets tangled up and I can't tell the different between enjoyment, excitement, pain, discomfort.

Can only wonder if being around others might pull them into my nightmare world

Don't want to be alone. Want to be able to socialize and not have to avoid everything having to do with sexuality. Have gotten better on it, as far as more normal comfort and management of triggers. The other response of feeling endangered by any association of sexuality with me is way way down, though still there

And it's happened. Trying to socialize in fandom. All the nightmares escaping horribly. And I don't think anyone knows. I don't know if all the pain and discomfort I'm feeling is transferring to other people. Trying. Trying not to. Though it feels inevitable. Inevitable for something to come up and I won't realize what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. And maybe the times it's happened haven't hurt people I dunno but I'm still scared of it if too many nightmares escape

(one reason not to be in large Discord servers) (I guess) (I dunno I feel like some of my existence there is a mistake)

Wishing it was easier sometimes to just talk about trauma plainly. And then people would know. And maybe I could feel more normal. And maybe things wouldn't escape so uncontrolled because I would've done so in a purposeful controlled fashion. But that's often too much for people. Even if spoken of in a serious manner that's warned for and spoilered and all that >.>

Don't want to feel like a danger to others. Too difficult a past. Too many feelings

[odkrycia-nauce-i-foldery-online]

Tatra Cave Dogs and Other Cave Dog Myths in Eastern Europe

Tomasz Pietrzak vel Quatl

(April 2008, no. 17)

Cave dogs are mythical creatures reported by Polish (and other eastern European) speleologists. Some people suspect that the mysterious Tatra, Poland, cave dogs are feral dogs that run among the peaks at night, and only stay in caves during the day. This may be the reason why few people see them, and how the legend came into being. The myths refer to spirit animals that attack and bite humans who spend time in the caves. Other legendary dogs, called "cave dachshunds," reportedly exist in Polish caves. These small dogs jerk the overalls of speleologists for scraps, especially while they crawl through tight tunnels. These invisible cave dogs supposedly pester people who explore their cave dens. Reports about cave dogs were figured to be the product of human imagination. However in Bulgaria, in Bezdenen Pczelin cave, a group of Polish speleologists found some half-blind feral dogs that showed little reaction to light. These Bulgarian cave dogs were left by bad people in caves, and have adapted to living in dark caves and lost their sight. Zoologists and zootechnicians also detected some negative morphological changes in body and head structure. Sojourning in a cold and moist environment with a monotonous and poor diet brought further degeneracy.

A. Radomski i K. Grotowski (Polish speleologist) also found strange dogs in Kuczeszka Pasztera cave in the 1960s, and dogs are reported to live in other caves in Bulgaria. Some stories are about dogs that lived in caves long ago. The oldest people heard about them from their fathers and grandfathers. People did not see these dogs but sometimes heard them when they threw dead goats, cows, or other animals over a precipice—cave dogs then fed on these animals.

An expedition from Slovakia left for Tatra in 2001 to search for its mythical cave dog. Unfortunately they did not find anything. It is possible there are some feral dogs living there, apart from normal dogs. In the western part of the Tatra Mountains are found many caves and remainders from karsic activities. Nowadays, caves dogs are considered only legends connected with activities of speleologists.

The true cave dogs are not a distinct wild dog, but a feral breed of domestic dog living in Bulgarian caves and fissures and similar places in the world, adapting to life in cold and dark places. Once other forms of cave dogs existed—the Primitive Cave Dog (Canis lupus [Canis spp.]). These animals were characterized by considerable sizes, strong body structure, and with a developed instinct of defense of their hideouts. This behavioral feature clearly separated it from smaller canids that were rather cowardly, along with their aggressive defense of prey from larger predators. These animals were the ancestors of modern domestic dogs and lived with the first people about 10,000 years ago. The first domestic dogs were similar to dingoes and come from wolves.​

There are a few recent reports of cave dogs throughout the mountainous regions in Poland. Some accounts came as recently as 2007, in the southern regions of Stary Sącz, in the Dunajec and Poprad range in the Sądecki Beskid mountains, and Żywiec in the Żywiecki Beskid mountains, from Slovak speleologist, Jano Ducár, who before coming back to Lomnice na vlak, saw a dog leaving a wide hole among the rocks in the cavern. He was told that "čierny pes" is not a problem for speleologists because their caves are spacious and large—the dogs living there have many places to hide. This was, perhaps, the mysterious feral cave dog (Canis lupus familiaris)—a descendant of normal domestic dogs.

Published Sources:

Przemysław Burchard. Na dno świata. Cytelnik 1961. Warszawa. Edition 1. Pages: 78-82

Praca zbiorowa pod redakcją Władysława Szafera. Tatrzański Park Narodowy. ZOP. Kraków 1955.

[shae-bun]

I think a large part of this is that the most popular complex machinery (incl. software) is typically made by corporations that use every trick they can to profit at the expense of everything else. Subscriptions and ads instead of direct purchases. Planned obsolescence is just subscriptions for physical hardware, with bonus damage to the environment. And companies love to make their planned obsolescence eco-harming products worse by forcing ads and data-collection — just look at most smart TVs.

At one point it was more typical for simple and complex hardware — from kitchen gadgets to computers — to last a lifetime. Not because "things used to be better" but because companies built physical products to sell on the merits of the product, instead of building something you *rent* which barely works well.

Our housing market has gone from "buy a sturdy house to live out your life" to "rent a space to exist in that's perpetually falling apart with horrid fixes" and *so have all of the other products in our lives*. Everything now is renting the worst version of a product.

For people that grew up in this environment, it's really hard to see a future where the complex machinery involved in transhumanism is not used to take advantage of us. For a lot of people, our own lived experience is basically a cyberpunk dystopia, so the only future we see as likely is more cyberpunk dystopia, just worse. People already have had life-changing implants removed because the company that makes them went under. That's *not* the transhumanist future I dreamed of.

And with that in mind, a lot of people have trouble separating "X is bad" from "X is bad because Y which we can hope to change" when all they see is "X causes Y and positive change rarely happens".

For example, generative AI is trained on works without permission, causes people to lose opportunities, causes the media we consume for fun to be worse, and makes it harder to sift through smaller works for more human creations. It's really only like this because of our failing socioeconomic systems, constant aiming for profit at all costs, and arguably inherent human greed. A lot of that can be changed, strictly speaking! But will it change in the next five years? Haha, no, and if I lose my job due to it then have trouble feeding myself and maintaining housing and paying for medical care then it's *really easy* to build up hate for AI instead of the system.

And it's worth noting, I actually think generative AI is really cool. I just don't like its effects with its implementation. It's like, AI is the gun and profit-incentivized behavior is the shooter. I don't blame anyone for having a gut reaction to guns after they've been shot, even if it's misplaced blame.

In this environment, I'd be really hesitant about other transhumanist ideas too. I don't want some sort of life-changing body augmentation if it's closed-source machinery that I have no hope of maintaining myself. I have zero interest in renting part of my body from a corporation, and I have zero interest in having part of my body taken away because they go out of business.

The only way to change peoples' minds here is to get a mass movement to non-profit and often open-source machinery so that people realize that we can build reliable, trustworthy, self-repairable machines. Everything else is doomed to profit incentives or "out of business" failure — if not by the original owner, then once it changes hands.

🔥 transhumanism

transhumanism becoming part of this politicized complex of ideas, along with "effective altruism is patently absurd" and "all AI is just complicated stealing," is a pretty great case study in people becoming hostile to uncontroversial or even downright mundane ideas because they're presented as part of an aesthetic package that they don't like. no individual step in the logical progression of transhumanist ideas ought to be controversial to anybody who professes a belief in bodily autonomy, making healthcare more freely available, or, like, basic biomedical research--but an urge toward political purity means that if such ideas become even vaguely associated with figures who are perceived as the Enemy, people will abandon them in order to more effectively signal their political affiliations.

it's not hard to see in speculative fiction from 15, 20, 30 years ago a transhumanist future portrayed very positively by leftist authors like Iain Banks; abandoning that kind of hope for the future because you don't like elon musk and want to make sure everybody knows is it kinda silly! a little cowardly, too.

[batmansymbol]

hi riley! read this recently and would love to get ur perspective on this as a YA author https://tinyletter.com/misshelved/letters/did-twitter-break-ya-misshelved-6

hi anon! yeah, i read this the day it was posted. thoughts/supplementary essay below.

firstly, i'd put a big "I AGREE" stamp across this essay. i think it's well-cited and thoughtful, and i agree with pretty much everything in it. i especially appreciate it for introducing me to the terms "context collapse" and "morally motivated networked harassment" - seeing internet sociology studied and labeled is ... odd, but useful.

i left twitter in 2017, but i keep an eye on things, which seem similar now to the way they were four years ago. the essay describes the never-ending scrutiny, the need to seem perfect, and the pressure on writers to out themselves. all of that is spot-on. twitter is an outing machine. there is so much harassment and anger on the platform that in serious conversations, good-faith engagement becomes something that must be earned, rather than something that's expected. and in order to earn good faith, strangers expect you to offer up an all-access pass to who you are. otherwise, things might take a swift left turn into verbal abuse.

obviously twitter is a cesspit of harassment from racist, homophobic, and transphobic people, but i think the most painful harassment comes from within the community. i, and most people i know, wouldn't give a single minuscule little fuck if ben shapiro's entire army of ghouls came after us and told us we were destroying the sacred values of Old America or whatever. but the community at large does care about issues of racial justice and queer liberation and economic justice. which is why it's painful to see this supposed "community" eating its own over and over again.

how cruel can we be to people and pretend that we are their friends? that's the emotional crux of the essay to me. what we're doing to ourselves - people who do share our values and want to achieve the same goals - because this one platform is built on rewarding the quickest, most brutal, and most public response.

god forbid you don't have your identity figured out. god forbid you have an invisible disability, or are writing a story about something sensitive you've personally experienced but had an off-consensus reaction to. on twitter, if you are not a paragon of absolute and immediate clarity, you may as well be lower than dirt morally, because you're unable to do what the platform requires of you: air every private corner of your identity, up to and including your trauma, to justify not only your everyday actions and opinions but also your art.

(this is all honestly incompatible with interesting art, but i'll get to that in a bit.)

it doesn't take a genius to see how troubling this environment is when combined with twitter as a marketing tool. i remember that around the time of my debut, i'd tweet out threads of private, painful, personal stuff, which felt terrible to recount, but i'd watch the like count increase with this sense of catholic, confessional satisfaction. all of this was tied to the idea of my potential salability as a writer.

i was around 21 at the time. i felt a lot of pressure as a debut. i wanted people to like me and think i was exceptionally mature and confident. i wanted to do my job and build buzz for my book. i saw that all these publishing professionals and authors spent day in, day out angry and exhausted on twitter. every few days, a new person fifteen years older than me would say, "i can't take this anymore, i'm so fucking tired of this, i'm logging off for a while." i thought, well, this must be how online activism feels: like running on a sprained ankle.

i can still remember book after book after book that inspired blow-ups, big explanations, and simmering resentment: carve the mark (whose author was forced to admit that she suffered chronic pain after relentless criticism of that element), the black witch (a book explicitly about unlearning racism that was criticized for depicting ... racism), ramona blue (a book about a bi girl who thinks she's a lesbian but winds up in an m/f relationship, because she's still discovering her identity) ... etc

each book, each incident, followed the same pattern. firestorms of anger, a decision of where to place blame, the desperate need for a single consensus opinion in the community. i think a lot of people on book twitter see these as bugs inherent to the platform, but really, in twitter's eyes, they're features. the angrier and more upset twitter's userbase is, the more reliant they are on the platform.

i wound up leaving around the time i realized that not only was twitter making me anxious - NOT being on twitter was beginning to make me anxious, because of vaguely dread-infused tweets all around like "i'm seeing an awful lot of people who are staying silent about X. ... why are so many people who are so loud about X so silent about Y?" etc.

that shit is beyond poisonous. people will not always be logged on. the absence of someone's agreement does not mean disagreement. actually, someone's absence is not inherently meaningful, because it is the internet and silence is everyone's default position; internet silence in all likelihood means that that person is out in the universe doing other things.

this is already a ridiculously long response, so i'll try to wrap up. firstly, i think that progressive writers and readers have GOT to stop thinking that a correct consensus opinion can exist on every piece of fiction, and on every issue in general, and that if someone diverges from that consensus, they're incorrectly progressive.

secondly, i think that progressive writers and readers have got to uncouple the idea of a "book with good politics" from a good book, because 1) there are books about morally grimy, despicable subjects that help us process the landscape of human behavior, and

2) if, in your fiction, there is only one set of allowed responses for your protagonist, you will write the same person over and over and over again. you see this a lot in religious fiction. the person is not a human being but an expression of the creator's moral alignment. (not entirely surprising that this similarity to religious correctness might crop up with the current state of the movement. i read this piece around the time i left twitter and it shook me really, really deeply.)

i understand that in YA, there's a sensation of immense pressure because people want to model good politics and correct behavior for kids. this is a noble idea - and maybe twitter is great for people who want to be role models. but i've become more and more staunchly against the idea of artist as role model. the role of the writer is not to be emulated but to write fiction. and the role of fiction is not to read like something delivered from a soapbox, or to display some scrubbed-clean universe where each wrong is immediately identified as a wrong, and where total morality is always glowing in the backdrop. it's to put something human on paper, and as human beings, we might aspire to total morality, but we fall short again and again. honestly, that's what being on twitter showed me more clearly than anything.

[potteresque-ire]

Not sure if this has circulated before, but here’s a link to Henry Jenkin’s reactions to 227, largely as responses to an interview he did with Sanlian Lifeweek magazine (三聯生活周刊), a publication modelled after TIME magazine and published under China Press Publishing group (中國出版集團), the largest and state-owned publisher in China. The magazine asked for Jenkin’s opinions on the fandom-related aspects of 227 back in March, 2020. Henry Jenkins, as many may already know, is among the most renowned scholars of (Western) fan culture ... if not the most renowned.

Personally, I find this article to be quite limited in perspective, because 227 had a significant non-fandom-oriented, sociopolitical component ~ and hence its scope, its chaos, its damage. IMO, 227 stopped being a fan war, stopped being about solos, cpfs, and even Gg the moment AO3 was shut down ~ the powerful Chinese state had intervened, and the incident necessarily became a political incident. That One Fic on AO3, the conflict between solos and cpfs about whether and where That Fic should exist was at most a lighter left at the scene of what would become the blaze; it wasn’t even responsible for igniting the first fire. Most i-turtles (i-fruits?) are probably aware too at this point: if fan wars are sufficient to start 227, then there wouldn’t have been a 227 ~ because 227 would have been every date of the year.

Fan culture is fundamentally transgressive, and what that means can only be defined in the context of the subculture’s “mainstream” sociopolitical and cultural environment. I therefore find the article’s attempt to transplant Western fan culture’s observations / theories / analysis / conclusions to the incident without explicitly comparing, addressing in depth the differences of the pre- and post-transplant environment to be ... prone to rejections (as organs are after transplantations!)—exclusion from being useful or valid. And this article was very short on such comparisons or address. Jenkins being a fandom expert aside (and he was careful about not treading outside his area of expertise), early “antis” of 227 presented themselves as crusaders for the freedom of speech and, by late March when this article was published, the heated debates surrounding the incident on Chinese social media had already led to embarrassment for multiple powerful state publications. It was probably a wise choice to not make another dive into the political aspects of the incident.

Being a new(-ish) turtle who joined the fandom a full half-year after 227, I’ve been backtracking, trying to really understand the incident, which remains very much beyond comprehension in many aspects. The discussions I’ve dug up that have most fascinated me have been those in non-fandom spaces, by non-fandomers / politics enthusiasts who barely knew who Gg was, who didn’t know That One Fic involved more than one idol and had zero knowledge about solos vs cpfs. In these discussions, “antis” are not referred to as “antis” because while the action of the so-called “227 coalition” was to kill Gg’s career, that wasn’t considered its ultimate goal ~ its ultimate goal was to warn whoever tried to clamp down the freedom of expression that their opposition was strong enough, populous to fight back and take away whatever, whoever those who attempted the clamp-down care the most about. In this case, “Gg fans”—I put this in quotes because eventually, no one would know who would lurk behind those pro-Gg Weibo IDs (and the anti-Gg ones as well)—were the perceived enemies of creative freedom. Gg, assumed to be the one, the symbol of what “GG fans” cared about the most, naturally became the target of the coalition.

Gg wasn’t special in that sense ~ and that was perhaps, the saddest thing I found about this incident as a Gg fan (without quotation marks); Gg could be any idol who achieved top fame at the moment, who had enough fans to make the point known. The coalition was therefore not “anti-Gg” in its ideological sense. It was anti the fan circle culture that had cemented Gg’s popularity, that had already been known to deal extremely poorly with dissent—complaints had been abound that c-ent was no longer fun for bystanders because the latter could issue no critique, not even doubt, about an idol without the fear of being reported, torn down by fans. The coalition eventually grew to include anti the many happenings, the many censorships and imprisonments in the past few years that had silenced the creative crowd in China, happenings people dared not speak about beyond a loud grumbling ...

The coalition tried to take down Gg, because they couldn’t take down the force that had shut down AO3, that was truly responsible for the silencing. They played the Hunger Games in the Weibo arena instead of challenging Who The Real Enemy Was, because some might not have given much thought about  The Enemy; some might have thought the Enemy too invincible to be worth the effort; some might have got too carried away by their blood thirst, the cruel schadenfreude of shredding a beautiful, successful young man into pieces, and forgot why they were there in the first place ... 

And that was only the political side of 227. 227 was also widely suspected to have a commercial component, which added another layer to the symbolism behind Gg the Idol ~ pretty much as soon as 227 happened, netizens investigated, tried to uncover the chain of capital behind Gg. With the scent of money was the memory of filth associated with it, in a country not exactly  unknown for its corrupt business practices. Much like in The Book of Exodus in the Bible, the Idol is believed to be forged with gold; it is ungodly, tainted. Whether Gg the Person was identical to Gg the Idol, Gg the Symbol mattered to few. That Gg *was* a person seemed lost to many ... 

I’ll have to dive into the non-fandom aspects of 227 with more rigour. As much as I'd love to leave 227 behind, every time I see Gg, I see its legacy on his face, in his smile, and perhaps, I’m not the only one ~ ADLAD cast him as Patient #5 because of 227′s effect on him. Put it another way, 227 is already modifying, writing Gg’s career trajectory ~ a trajectory that is undoubtedly under scrutiny by many who wish to duplicate his success but circumvent his pain. And every time I see a young idol—Gg, Dd, and anyone else—I wonder if the hurt of 227 can happen to them (again) because the crux of the incident has never been resolved; the oppression and silencing have remained strong as ever. 

Anyway (sorry for the rant) ... what I found noteworthy about this article was the quotes the magazine highlighted in its published form (in Chinese), which weren’t highlighted by Jenkins on his own website. They reflected what the magazine would like to be the take-home messages of the interview. I’ve listed them below; all of which had Jenkins as the speaker:

[Pie Note: About Real Person Fiction (RPF) in Western fandoms]

“American fans often do have some shared norms about what is and is not appropriate to write, mostly having to do with protecting the privacy of other people in the star’s life. Writing about the star is seen as fair game; writing about their family members is not.”

---

[Pie Note: About GG being “cast” as a transgender woman in The One Fic that started the incident; gender in fandom]

“We write fan fiction as a form of speculation and exploration. For some people, it may be one of the few spaces in the culture where they can express who they are, what they are feeling, what they are desiring. And for others, it is a place of “what if” where they explore in fantasy things they would not necessarily desire in reality.” 

---

[Pie Note: Whether GG should be held responsible for his fans’ behaviour]

“Under these circumstances, I would not hold a performer responsible for his fans’ behaviors but the performer is responsible for their own behavior and fans may respond negatively to performers who over-react to the existence of alternative fantasies and insult or hector their audiences.”    

---

[Pie Note: About AO3 and why fans were so upset about its closure] “Keep in mind that AO3 is a particular kind of platform. Alongside Wikipedia, AO3 is one of the greatest accomplishments of participatory culture in the digital era.”

---

[Pie Note: About the “problematic” content on AO3]

“Among my findings were that fan fiction sites can be a valuable space for young people to acquire skills (and receive feedback) on their writing from more experienced writers who share these same passions ... That said, while teens have participated in fandom, a large part of those on AO3 are adults, engaging in adult conversations on adult topics.”

---

[Pie Note: About media text in the new media era]

“First, I would stress the proliferation of media texts at the current moment ... We have access to a much broader range of media content than ever before and in this context, fans play a constructive role in curating that content, helping some shows get greater visibility ...  Second, these texts have become more malleable”

---

[Pie Note: About idols not producing “good” media texts]

“Rather, the question should be what are fans finding meaningful about these performers and the texts they generate. I start from the premise that human beings do not engage in meaningless activities. I may not immediately recognize why something is meaningful but my job as a scholar is to understand why cultural materials are meaningful to the people who cherish them.”

---

My understanding of this selection of quotes is this: this state publication (as others) was quite ready to forgive Gg, to put this incident behind. It could choose to not publish this interview; it could choose to leave out certain quotes, or not do the highlighting that cast both AO3 and Gg in a positive / innocent light. But it did all these things. This article furthers my impression that the state never intended 227 to blow up the way it did, and that it did—enough for stories about it to be found in non-China websites, and in English—was what I’m still trying to comprehend. 227 was, admittedly, how I was first introduced to Gg beyond Wei Wuxian. And as I got to know Gg, like Gg, my want to understand 227 only becomes stronger, perhaps because only through comprehension I feel I can find peace for the GG fan (again, without quotation marks) in me.

Maybe I should email Dr Jenkins and ask if he’s looking for a PhD candidate. 5 years of research and thinking ... maybe that’s what it’ll take. 

I feel I’ve already started anyway. 

[malorisaurus]

Because I am now obsessively thinking about this, I started looking around for other people that have this perspective and found this:

I liked several of the points made here. I am also copying my tags to the original post I made here:

#look especially in some of the more recent films godzilla is portrayed as being a sort of protector of the world at the expense of tiny ppl#one could definitely argue that this is a weird take for a creature that is definitely supposed to represent nuclear weapons#but regardless there is a sense that godzilla has a purpose for their actions and that the reasoning is dramatically misunderstood#except by REALLY BIG WEIRDOS#the people that take a second to try to understand Godzilla's behaviors are also coded imo lol#but beyond that i just relate to them as this big lumbering creature that doesn't really know their own strength in relation to people#and is just out doing their thing and being really tired about people just like shooting them and throwing bombs at them all the time#okay bye

In thinking more about it, not only is the way that Godzilla has been portrayed over the entirety of their existence been more complex than "big monster go smash," the Monsterverse films in particular portray Godzilla in a way that is explicitly meant to be sympathetic from the standpoint that they are misunderstood. It is integral to Godzilla in these portrayals that they have big reactions without understanding the dramatic consequences that come from those big reactions. That looks like meltdowns to me.

Even the environment often seems to perplex or startle Godzilla. This is one of the reasons why the last Monsterverse film might as well not exist for me—the titans are basically unnuanced action heroes at this point, which was a CHOICE in an already somewhat iffy portrayal. Godzilla has one safe space that they return to and expresses very much that they would like to be left alone there. All of this reads as autistic to me.

Many autistic people are perceived as not having emotions (or at least not having appropriate emotions) and as not experiencing empathy, which is largely a mistaken perception (though lack of emotional empathy is not innately immoral, as it is often portrayed). Many autistic people describe their experience as feeling like a monster. I think we deserve to discuss non-humanoid characters (robots/androids are still humanoid!)as autistic. Godzilla is a feeling creature, and so am I.

And I suppose the trouble comes from language: is it really autistic coding, or is it autistic headcanon. I struggle to differentiate when much of coding in media is unintentional anyway. Maybe that is my bad! But honestly, I want to describe more non-human or robot characters as autistic. We deserve to be non-humanoid.

All this said, it might be problematic to tie autism to a character that came so directly out of collective trauma around a brutal and immoral act by a imperial regime... 😅 BUT I WILL HAVE TO PROCESS THAT LATER OKAY

Someone on threads asked what people's favorite autistic coded characters are, and in a long list that I posted, I mentioned Godzilla. People acted like I was insane, and now I am very agitated. Like, I want to snap back and be condescending, which I hate doing. But the impulse for immediate gratification is there.

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “High Altitude Low Opening”

Whipped something up for you guys this morning, decided I needed to incorporate a few more of the alien races that I have mentioned in the past. Sort of based on events that happened after Color Vision, but you don’t need to have read it. 

“We can’t stop them, they are hemmed in by the mountains, guarded on all sides and they shoot down any aircraft that dares to come close with supporting troops. Before our informant was killed he managed to send us a message that the Gnar’lak have reverse engineered Finnari rocket technology and from there plan to leave the planet destroying it completely on the way out.” There was silence in the council chamber as the statement set in. All around, the grand halls echoed with the shuffling of many feet.

“Why…. what is the point of that?” 

The council turned to find the human delegation looking more than  a little confused. 

The Finnari representative sighed deeply, “Their hatred of us has been a core trait of their species for centuries. Once upon a time they fed upon our peoples life force for nourishment. We were kept as livestock to fuel their hunger until eventually escaping their control, but by that time evolution had taken it’s course. They must drain us to live, and are completely unsuited to empathy towards us, which would make consuming us that much more difficult. In essence they were designed to hate us, and now that the technology exists to sustain them, they have no real reason to stay.” He hummed thoughtfully, “Then there is, of course, their grudge against the humans.”

The human council seemed surprised, “Grudge, what grudge.”

The Finnari whistled amused “May I remind you, Commander, that once upon a time you and your crew single handedly defeated one of their greatest armies saving us from enslavement and possible extinction.”

The commander’s mouth opened in a surprised, “Oh, right. I forgot about that. I didn’t realize it had been such a heavy blow. It was one battle after all, and we only pushed them back.”

“You Killed nearly all of their mature mating females.”

“Oh….. whoops.”

He waved a hand, “No matter, the point is their population took a heavy hit and it will take decades for them to rebuild, if they recover at all. Either way they plan on destroying the planet out of spite for us and for you who sided with us.”

“Does that seem a bit of an over reaction to everyone else, or is that just me?” The commander glanced around the room for support.

“If they had a true name, Commander, I am sure the phrase “over reaction” would be in the title…. Now  the true issue is how to even bother lying siege on them. The mountains make it impenetrable, all large ground vehicles, and  low flying jets will be shot down. Not to mention that the terrain is not suited for large amounts of troops or military vehicles.”

The human Commander stood and walked forward to examine the map, “This can be delt with…. But it depends on how many of them you'd be willing to kill.” The room went very silent, and the human looked up “Guided missiles, nuclear weapons, artillery, or biological warfare. There are plenty of ways to deal with the issue, the biggest problem is that most of them will be lethal…. Likely for the entire remaining population.”

No one spoke for the longest time, until the chairwoman leaned forward in her seat, “As dire as this situation may be commander, we would rather avoid such extreme measures. Not to mention that their anti-air defences are sophisticated enough to intercept a missile and if that was nuclear you'd be affecting the entire planet.”

The man tapped his chin then paused, “How sophisticated is their system?”

“Quite radar pared with physics analysis mark objects based on speed, shape, movement and density. Anything larger than ten units, or ten pounds, traveling over 200 miles per hour, with an aerodynamic shape, and moving on a predictable vector course will be targeted.”

The commander leaned over the table eyes locked up on the map with that predatory way that humans had when thinking, almost as if he was preparing himself for a hunt, “What if an object were to hit only one of those requirements.” 

“What do you mean.”

“Say you had an unpredictable object traveling at 120 miles per hour or slower, but with a weight of up to 250 pounds?”

“How would these objects be entering the airspace?” 

“From directly above.”

“Like it was falling…..?”

The human smiled, “Exactly like that.”

The council glanced at each other, “I don’t think that would even register on Anti Air for meteorites, but commander, what sort of technology would you be using.” 

“No technology really.” The man stood, “We would be doing this the old fashioned way, and if we do it right, no one has to get hurt.”

“And what exactly is the old fashioned way.” 

“HALO.” 

***

“You aren’t serious!” Krill screeched from the small antichamber off the GA council room. The Rundi chairwoman and one representative of each council stood around the table with shocked looks on their faces.

“For fuck’s sake. Can you just be safe or FIVE MINUTES, every time I  turn my back you ahve some stupid idea….”

“This isn’t the first time that I have done it.” The man replied calmly, “It was part of my training during flight school. One involved a simulated ejection from 15,000 feet and one was a HALO certification from 35,000 feet.” 

“This is stupidity.”

“Madness.”

The room chorused with agreement, even the Drev counselor seemed put off by the idea .

“It makes sense. The high altitude is outside the Anti Air range, with minimal metal and an unpredictable landing vector, we would be unseen by their radar. If we open low it reduces the amount of time those on the ground would be able to see us all the better if we are thermally cloaked like they are. In that case we would be invisible by standards of radar and by those on the ground. We could send in troops, get in, and take over the entire encampment in a matter of hours with no bloodshed.”

“This is madness.” The Drev counselor spoke in, “When we asked for your tactical expertise commander, we hardly expected you to volunteer to throw yourself from the sky.” 

There was a muttering of agreement around the room.

“I know you humans are durable, but not even you can survive in that kind of environment.”

The human sighed and rolled his eyes, “We have been doing this for literally thousands of years. Some people do it for fun.” he growled silencing the room, “My point is humans have the perfect solution, and no one would have to get hurt,” 

At the head of the room, the Rundi chairwoman shook her head, “We can’t allow this. It is far too dangerous.”

“Did all of you miss the part where we will have parachutes?”

The room stared at him confused. 

Turns out that not one of their languages had a comparable word for the piece of technology, and the translation was less than adequate.

With a sigh the human ordered a five minute break while one of his crew members ran to get an example. WHen they came back, Commander Vir threw the backpack on the table, “Welcome to show and tell everyone, gather round, gather round. You see this.” He said tugging at the backpack’s straps, “This is what is keeping me from slamming into the ground at 120 miles per hour.”

They stared at him blankly.

“Here’s how it works.” He grabbed the backpack and looped his arms through the straps threading his legs through the harness and tightening the cords, “This harness will keep me attached to the bag while I am falling.” He hooked his thumb under a little blue clip, “This is the cord, once I pull this, the bag opens, and the chute comes out.” he had his assistant open one of the bags and began pulling the large nylon tarp across the ground. The representatives stepped back.

“The nylon is shaped in such a way that when deployed it increases air resistance and drag slowing previous 120 to 17 miles per hour.” The group murmured in surprise and he held up a hand to Krill who had opened his mouth in protest, “And before you have a conniption, the harness distributes the forces caused by the sudden deceleration. If the cord doesn't deploy the parachute when pulled, there are TWO backup cords after that. F neither of those work, you grab these tabs on the side which pull the entire back of the bag off releasing the chute inside.”

“What are the health risks.” Krill stubbornly continued.

“The bends, hypoxia, but both of those things can be dealt with. Nitrogen is released from the blood prior to jump, and pur oxygen is provided while the altitude is too high. Temperatures are mitigated with warm clothing. Honestly the biggest danger is an awkward landing and twisting your ankle. Seventeen miles an hour is pretty slow, some humans can run that fast, and coming in at a shallow angle helps for sure.”

The aliens looked on unsure and nervous staring at the human with increased awe. Many of them had almost become used to the human’s strange behaviors, but this? This was an entirely new level of insane, falling from the sky at hundreds of miles an hour on a cloudy day….. It was truly insane.

Unspeakably so.

“And where would you find people willing to do this?” The chairwoman asked tenatively.

The human smiled, and that wolfish grin was enough to cause the entire assembly chamber to squirm, “Oh, I know just the people.”

***

“Hell yeah!.” 

“WHOOP WHOOP!” 

“Let’s go kick ETs ass!” 

The plane rattled slightly coming upon a low pressure pocket. Their voices were somewhat muffled inside their oxygen masks and goggles rocking in their seats and against their harnesses. Krill and sunny stood inside the jet looking at each other in great trepidation.

Krill was so mad he had gone from ranting to enraged silence.

He refused even to speak to the Commander as he monitored their vitals.

Every time he passed by, the little doctor would slap the man in the helmet as hard as he could, which amounted to nothing more than amusement for the human. Sunny’s  feet clattered across the deck, and she wobbled a bit as she knelt in front of him behind his mask. Two eyes stared back at her today him having ditched the eyepatch for a prosthetic for obvious reasons. Behind the clear plastic surface, she watched his eyes crinkle a bit the way humans had when they were smiling, really smiling.

“I know I usually encourage your insanity, but this…. This is too much.” She muttered 

“Stop being such a mother hen.” He chided softly, “I'll be fine.” he winked with the fake eye, “I’m indestructible.

“That attitude is what worries me.” She patted his shoulder watching the amusement in his bright green eye.

A human made a gagging noise off to the side, “Get a room already you two.” Ramirez chimed in.

“Seriously if this gets any more touching I might just cry.” Maverick responded 

“True love!” Someone yelled.

“Wuv twue Wuv is what bwings us togeva today.”

The commander sat up in his seat, “Shut your trash mouths you hooligans.” 

“NEAR, FAR, WHEREVER YOU ARE, I BELIEVE THAT THE HEART WILL GO ON!” Their voices were a discordant wash of half yelling half singing all in different keys arms around each other, swaying back and forth.

The commander punched Ramirez in the arm but it didn’t stop him from singing, though eventually their voices petered away.

“Someone forgot to bring our soundtrack?”

“What soundtrack?” 

“Come on, shouldn't someone be playing Fortunate Son?” 

Commander Vir shook his head, “Fortunate son is for helicopters, just like Danger Zone is for jets.” he turned to Sunny and Krill, “The two of you better get inside.” Sunny patted him on the shoulder before reluctantly retreating behind the door. The lights in the back went dark, and the pilot came over the line, “Depressurizing.”

She felt and heard the plane rattled as the ramp hissed open peering through the little window in the door. Red light illuminated the darkness behind them casting the humans into silhouettes as they were ordered into a standing position grabbing  handles on the ceiling to keep themselves up. Sunny watched heart hammering as Adam raised a hand holding high waiting for a signal.

The lights in the back of the jet blinked green and the arm cut downwards.

The marines broke into a jog towards the end of the ramp.

She couldn't look away. At her side Krill cursed repeatedly and creatively.

The first of the marines leaped suspended for a moment framed against the cloudy sky, but a blink later and they were gone. Adam followed after the last marine stepping up to the edge of the ramp turning around to wave at sunny before pitching backwards into darkness.

***

Wind roared tugging at their clothes pressing against their faces their arms held out to the side. Breath came in short ragged gasps inside the plastic oxygen masks that cover their faces. All around them the sky was dark, nothing but the glowing hands of their altitude gages. Darkness enfolded them and the wind continued to scream as their bodies fell helplessly from the sky.

Time roared by  with with the passage of the wind, and the gage inched twaords 3,000 than passed it. They had agreed at 1,5000. The clouds broke around them, and the ground below grew closer and closer and closer. The well of the mountains rose up in their vision.

One thousand five hundred, they reached out, and chute’s exploded upwards with the flapping of wings. They waited with bated breath for Anti Air fire, but when none came, they remained silent slowly curving themselves towards the ground. A ground that was quickly approaching.

In orbit, the GA ship circled slowly watching with awe and horror the feeds sent to them by cameras on the Human’s uniforms.

***

The Gnar’lak general had been working late on his plans. The FInnari had driven them back with the help of the so called GA and were now threatening his species with extinction. Why they would side with such a disgusting primitive race continued to boggle his mind, a mind which was admittedly one track and aggressively unimaginative.

The Gnar’lak had survived for thousands of years in an almost opposite way to the humans. Where they were cognitively adaptable, the Gnark’lak had survived being straight forward and unchangeable. Where this evolution had helped them to survive in the past, when diplomacy became involved they found their species to be falling behind, a relic of a more barbaric time.

Of course this was not something they were particularly capable of seeing since their minds were not built for possibilities and philosophical debate. The Gnar’lak knew two things, survival, and that the only way to get it was the Finnari….. Well I guess he knew three things and the third was that the Finnari were nothing more than a resource to be used and farmed. It was that simple, it seemed reprehensible that a logical species would take up arms against him with a source of food.

It would be similar to aliens coming down from the sky on earth and siding with cows against humans, or at least that’s how they saw it despite the Fennari being sentient and greatly more intelligent than cows.

All of this thinking was making him angry, and with a foot he shoved open the door to walk out into the early morning sunrise.

What he found, was his entire army immobilized on the ground before his dwelling. Six humans dressed in dark gear, and holding familiar weapons stood before his door. One human had his lieutenant pinned to the ground with a boot weapon pointed at his head. Another human was busying themselves tying up another platoon of his soldiers.

One stood patiently outside his door as if waiting for him.

He stared in disbelief.

“Good morning general.” The human said baring its hideous teeth at him, “By the power invested in me, Commander Vir of the UNSC Harbinger and the GA, you are hereby detained for the callous plotting of genocide and world destruction.” 

He glanced away wondering if he could run, but a soft click and the human’s smooth voice stopped him, “I wouldn’t do that if i were you general.”

He turned his head staring at the ugly creature, “Something…. Seems familiar.”

The human simply grinned, “maybe, i've been here once before….. To assist a rebellion.” 

The general knew exactly who the human was.

And even he knew there was no chance of escape. 

[some-jw-things]

if you dont mind explaining, what did the organisation do that it gives you such reaction? im not jw/exjw myself, im just following this blog because i wanna keep myself educated on all sorts of issues, but if you dont want to its absolutely fine

I mean Jehovahs Witnesses are blatantly a cult. That’s been explained pretty thoroughly by a lot of people.

I guess “this organization is a cult” can be hard to understand what that actually means. On a personal level, it defined my entire life. When I introduced myself to new people, the first thing I said was that I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was my entire identity. I actually think of myself back when I still believed in it as a completely different person than who I am now. I consider my old self to be dead, and so does my family.

When I told them I wanted to leave the cult, they mourned me. They cried for months. They raged and got angry. My sister refused to even look at me for days. In the span of one sentence, I lost my whole family, all of my friends, and my entire community. I was shunned, and they blamed me for abandoning them.

And I knew that would happen. They had always made it perfectly clear that love was conditional. I was told flat out— multiple times— that I would get kicked out of the house if I got disfellowshipped. My dad told me as a child that he would stop supporting me if I ever went to college, because every Witness he knows who’s ever gone has left the Truth. He also told me that the day I turned eighteen he would make me pay rent to keep living in his house unless I was preaching full time. All of that later turned out to be empty threats and a doctor told me that last part was actually illegal, but my family made sure I grew up believing it.

I was only loved so long as I followed the rules. This is standard practice for Jehovah’s Witnesses. I am lucky I got off as light as I did and wasn’t kicked out on the street. Even that only happened due to a technicality and how obviously mentally ill I was at that point.

Jehovah’s Witnesses’ theology is the reason I started self-harming. I was afab and when I was fifteen I spent a month asking why God thought women were innately lesser than men. That culminated in a big family discussion where I got anxious enough to start scratching at my lip over and over until I had a massive gash. My family watched. My mother made a token protest that I listened to for about three seconds. I walked away from that conversation with the knowledge that I needed to keep my mouth shut because certain questions were actually not allowed and a brand new bad habit.

I created an entire system for myself based on rigid discipline and punishment and the idea that any mistake meant I didn’t deserve to feel un-miserable, which is exactly the sort of mentality that this all-or-nothing religious purism breeds.

I was institutionalized in hospital psychiatric wards four times in the year after I left, and one more time about a year after that. The high school attempted to put me in foster care then, out of concern for my safety if I continued living in that environment. My mother supported the idea

The first time I remember sincerely contemplating suicide was when I was thirteen. My thoughts then were just that I figured I would never be able to hold off killing myself long enough to live to be eighteen. I felt trapped. I was specifically thinking I would never have the guts to be able to pry myself out of the Org and so I would be stuck in it forever. The JW lifestyle is miserable in a way I can’t express

I have comforted my little sister while she’s had a break down crying in the bathroom during meeting because the talk was about Armageddon and she didn’t think our dad would make it into Paradise. She had to stop attending public school because of panic attacks. She was suicidal too at one point, but our mom thought she wasn’t as bad as me and therefore was making it up for attention

Jehovah’s Witnesses by and large treat mental illness with prayer and talking to the elders. The majority of teenage girls in my congregation had severe unaddressed issues. The Society has whole articles on how sometimes the answer IS demonic possession. Their version of Paradise is a eugenics fantasy

At one point an elder comforted my family by telling them that Jehovah likely didn’t view my choice to leave as legitimate due to my mental issues. They have official articles calling all apostates “mentally diseased,” and how am I supposed to argue why that’s wrong?

The majority of Jehovah’s Witnesses’ teachings are bigoted and hateful. They have a cute little kids cartoon that compares the evil gays to terrorists. I was taught the mark of Cain and curse of Esau were responsible for the existence of other races. JW women are required to submit to their husbands and fathers no matter what, and divorce is a sin that will get you shunned. Trans people are forced to live as their agab, gay people have to remain celibate and never date. The elders reserve the right to out you to whoever they want, whenever they want.

There have been so many talks that have sent me running off somewhere private to cry and panic

There’s this little girl in the hall who was friends with my sister. She had needed a blood transfusion when she was a baby. Her parents had been willing to let her die, but the courts stepped in and took her away for a few days. She was given the blood transfusion, lived, and at thirteen had a crying breakdown in the middle of the hall because the talk had just said she would never make it into Paradise now. Usually though, if you’re old enough to speak for yourself, they let you die

My parents have had three bankruptcies and they mock me for saving money. They live as if the world is going to end at any moment. There’s no such thing as a future

The world has been about to end since my grandma was little. That’s a running joke. She’s lived through more changes to the Org than I’ll ever know about. My family has been ruthlessly controlled by this organization for generations. My family aren’t allowed to accept me even if they wanted to. I’ve seen this Org ruin so many people’s lives in a whole variety of ways. Three other kids I grew up with have been disfellowshipped since becoming adults. There are others who I don’t think could leave unless they literally ran away in secret

JW ideology loans itself to a certain style of parenting and that has consequences. They control every aspect of members’ lives. Behavior, dress, speech, career, free time, friends, which family you’re allowed to see, what media you can consume. The thoughts you are allowed to have. I’ve been sent into a spiraling panic before over the idea that “I shouldn’t be thinking that”

The Org barred outside ideas and all criticism. They forcibly kept me in the dark. Members are intentionally isolated from not just all outsiders, but also all outside opinions. I was raised in a way intended to make me an outcast everywhere but within the Org. I was told never to read about Jehovah’s Witnesses from any writer other than the Society itself. I was told never to listen to its critics. I was told that reading forbidden books would get me possessed by demons

The Society controlled and defined my entire life and somehow still manages to do so even after I’ve left. Every member I know has been hurt by it. I’m just the one who won’t forgive

[nezumiismissing]

Overcoming Similarities and Fear of the Self: A Lesson in Socialization

Ok so I'd like to start out by saying that this isn't going to be nearly as pretentious and academic as the title makes it sound, but I couldn't let go of how good it sounded (and since it’s me it’s at least a little pretentious and academic), so here we are. But anyways, onto the topic at hand.

Like most stories, No.6 focuses immensely on fundamental differences between people and places, and how those differences lead to conflict that either brings those groups together or destroys one or both of them. On a large scale, No.6 tells the story of the conflict between the West Block and lower classes of citizens, and the institution of No.6 itself as created by the city's elites. On a small scale, we see this larger issue of sociopolitical conflict reflected in Nezumi and Shion and their relationship as it develops throughout the story. This individual conflict is mostly philosophical, with each character having their own experiences with No.6 and therefore differing opinions as to what, if anything, needs to be done about it. However, these differences in experiences, and how Nezumi and Shion were taught to view the world, function not only as a reflection of larger scale issues, but also reveal how they form their opinions about both the world, and especially in Nezumi's case, each other.

Right from the beginning of the story, we are shown, and expected to accept, that Nezumi and Shion are fundamentally different, that their experiences are so drastically different from each other that outside of a certain level of compromise, they will never philosophically align with one another. But I think there’s more to it than that. Because even though this difference is what drives the entirety of the plot forward, acting as a micro level version of the wider sociopolitical conflict, one of the overarching themes of the story, that humans are fundamentally the same, or at least equal, no matter their experiences and beliefs, directly contradicts what is otherwise a story of dichotomies, creating not a grey area open to interpretation, but a single truth that must be accepted in order to accept the events of the story.

And here is where we get to the part where I ramble on about the complexity of Nezumi’s character and how it informs not only his actions, but his emotions as well. Specifically, Nezumi’s “fear” of Shion that develops throughout the story on the surface appears to be based on the fact that not only have they had vastly different experiences, and therefore view No.6 and its issues significantly differently, but also that because of these differences Nezumi is, for the first time, recognizing that there are things about the world and other people that he does not fully understand. By defying Nezumi’s expectations of what a citizen of No.6 should be like, and demonstrating his individuality and ability to defend himself, Shion proves that people are more complex than they often first appear, have motives outside of basic survival or corruption, and can behave in ways that to an outsider seem completely irrational. Looking at it this way, Nezumi’s discomfort with and eventual fear of Shion make perfect sense, as he appears to Nezumi to be someone who is now completely unknowable and irrational. However, Shion’s insistence on that theme, that humans are fundamentally the same, highlights a completely different idea: Nezumi is not afraid of Shion only because of their differences, or because he is an unknown entity, but also because through his interactions with Shion, Nezumi is forced to face the fact that perhaps they are actually quite similar, and that the one who was unknown all along was himself.

Throughout the story, we get very few, if any, chances to see Nezumi do any kind of self reflection. He has already figured himself out, he knows how the world works and what kind of people inhabit it, and no matter what may happen, he is able to approach it calmly and make completely rational choices. Except when it comes to Shion. From the beginning, Shion is so drastically different from what Nezumi is used to that there is no rational approach to take other than to simply observe him and try to decipher what he may be thinking at any given moment. Unfortunately for Nezumi, this is a task that remains impossible for him until he recognizes that there is a crucial part of his understanding of the world that he is missing, and why it is that he does not have it. This lack of understanding ties into many of Nezumi’s actions that to Shion, and us as the audience, appear irrational, specifically relating to why he leaves at the end of the story, as well as why he spends the majority of the story constantly contradicting himself and acting in ways that go directly against what he preaches earlier on to Shion.

This is especially apparent as we approach the end of the end of the story, when Nezumi’s focus on Shion shifts away from teaching him to survive, and instead towards preventing him from becoming too much like Nezumi. Part of this is of course, as the story points out, because to a certain extent Nezumi still sees Shion as an outsider, one who should not be enacting violence and should instead be protected. This is obviously uh, not a good and healthy way to think about another person that is supposed to be equal to you, but I think it also speaks to how Nezumi has grown through the process of self-reflection, even though this process remains unfinished even after the events in Beyond. Because I don’t think that Nezumi’s insistence on keeping Shion the same as he’s always been (which obviously also shows a lack of understanding of Shion as a person, and just people in general) is just about his desire to protect him, but rather a fear that if Shion becomes too much like him, then Nezumi’s actions and beliefs will have become externalized and projected in a way that forces him to face himself and all that he has done in his life. By this point in the story Nezumi has realized that some part of who Shion is as a person is also a part of himself, and Shion’s actions have shown that the reverse may also be true. Thus the possibility that further similarities will arise becomes likely, and out of fear that he does not actually fully understand himself, as well as an inability to self-reflect in a constructive way, this fear is taken out on Shion in the form of attempting to prevent him from changing in any way, in the hope that it will prevent the revealing of any more similarities, and therefore the further deconstruction of Nezumi’s sense of self. In other words, Nezumi’s desire to see Shion not change in the Correctional Facility is less an attempt to protect Shion from “reality” (which yes he does also want to do), and more a coping mechanism for Nezumi as he struggles with his own identity.

Now this is not to say that Nezumi and Shion are exactly the same, or that they should be interpreted as such, or that they will ever become exactly alike. Rather, it is more about the idea that all humans (with some exceptions of course) have the same or similar capacity for certain emotions/understandings of the world, and that what differentiates us from each other is not some innate difference that can never be overcome, but instead a result of socialization that, while not entirely able to be reversed, can be in many cases overwritten and changed through a continued process. In this specific case, for example, we see that Nezumi and Shion are both capable of strong feelings of empathy for other people. However, whereas Shion is entirely comfortable with processing this emotion, because of the way he was socialized (raised) by both the old woman and Rou, as well as a result of severe trauma, Nezumi has no real foundation for understanding human empathy, and so when he does experience it, his immediate reaction is to reject and rationalize it rather than attempt to process it, which would result in him having to fundamentally change his world views. Nezumi’s socialization also forms his conceptualization of the unknown as something to be feared, as the environments he was raised in required things that were unknown (such as No.6) to be seen as a threat rather than an opportunity to learn and develop. Thus the appearance of Shion, as well as his “strange” behavior brought over from No.6, serves as both a deep fascination for Nezumi as something that questions his construction of “humanity”, as well as something to be feared due to its existence outside of this construction.

Just to tie it all together, this is a huge part of why Nezumi ultimately has to leave at the end of the story. Just like every other person who has written about the ending has stated, Nezumi needs time to reflect and heal from his trauma, and that is something that is fundamentally impossible for him to do in the presence of either Shion or the remnants of No.6. After spending the majority of his life crushed under the weight of (and then forced to question) something that is both unknown and the source of his suffering, what he needs is the comfort of an unknown that fundamentally still fits into his preexisting world views while still leaving room for exploration that is free from the influence of others. Most of his life has been spent under the strict influence of those who raised him, who taught him that the world is ultimately a place of suffering, violence, and tragedy, that his trauma was justified, but normal, and nothing would ever fundamentally change about that world. The short period he did spend alone was time when he was too young to really be able to question that idea, and it instead became cemented in his mind as the “reality” he presents to Shion. Shion, on the other hand, so significantly disrupts this pattern that Nezumi is unable to rationally respond, and instead of taking the new information into account, resists it in self defense, not wanting to recognize that what he thought was reality only really existed in his mind. He needs an in-between place, a place where he can be alone with his thoughts and reflect on his life without the interference of people who he feels strongly connected to, who might influence his processing. He needs a place where he can not only recover from his trauma, but also the fear his socialization has resulted in that ultimately ended up only being the fear of his own humanity.

[lvnatiq]

Surrealtà | Nicky Valentino x Assassin!OC

A/N: Hello, my fellow Valentinhoes! I already mentioned this series that will be approximately 10 chapters long (if not more). I tried to keep the prologue short trying my best to not bore you. The dialogues between the characters are modified according to this story and yes, there will be a lot of new characters alongside the original ones. With that being said if you have any questions or suggestions, let me know :)! 

Enjoy, toots.

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, usage of inappropriate language.

Prologue: Inferno

“Do you ever doubt your actions? I mean, you know the uproar about them being ethically wrong.”

Andrea's words revealed her agitated behavior. Her sincere concern for her friend was boggling her mind with more questions.

“Why would I doubt my actions when there are enough people already doing that.”

Heaven lifted her glass to her lips and stopped moments before taking a sip.

“I never give people anything more or less than what they’ve done.”

The sour taste of alcohol lingers on her tongue while it makes its way into her system causing her body to warm up.

“If they kill, I kill. Easy as that.”

“You know what’s going to happen when they get you behind bars, right ?” said Andrea. Fully aware of the fact that her attempts at getting her to tap out were not affecting Heaven at all.

“I don’t."

Heaven said as she turned her head towards the anxious eyes that were studying her. Her smirk becomes more prominent as she sets her booze down on the glass table.

“Because It’s not going to happen."

Upon hearing her words Andrea couldn't manage to hide her astonishment.

“How can you be so sure ?”

“I’m not but do I have any other options? I am not someone that you would want to see panicking.”

Heaven said as she continued to play with the rim of her glass. She proceeded as she eyed her reflection on the glass table.

“I might appear dangerous when I let my anger take over, but panic?” she scoffed as she pushed her long locks away from her face.

“I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

“Why?” Andrea said, engaging herself with the conversation more and more. Afterall there were no limits to her curiosity.

“I lose control.”

Says Heaven as she collects the documents scattered over the table and then stands up from her stool. She lowers herself at Andrea's eye level as she proceeds with her speech.

“...and If I lose control, my love...”

Andrea drops her gaze as she couldn't bring herself to look straight into her eyes. Heaven whispers her last words, unaware of the fact that this statement will be the foreshadowing of what was about to come.

“All hell will break loose.”

With that, the curiosity killed the cat.

January 1st, 2020

The cold breeze of New York combed her long locks as she stared at her watch. Her pupils dilating as her eyes followed the second hand, continuing to count the seconds.

"Thirty more to go. Then it's time for the Fiesta."

Pushing back the hem of her coat, she pulled out a brand new Glock 19 and a suppressor. Her hands started to wander around the gun as she let the feeling of absolute power captivate her senses. After rolling the silencer onto the muzzle of the Glock, she placed her gun back at its previous position.

The silencer, her infamous nickname.

Nobody knew her true identity nor her background. At this point in her life, others weren't the only ones to do so. Her memory was as unreliable as her trigger. Her past, present, and future remained unknown to her. In her opinion, keeping her past locked in the forbidden spaces of her mind it's for the better.

"Henry Harding, age 46, a prick who traded the life of his wife for the comfort of his stacks."

She reminded herself as her steps quickened. The darkness of the night emerged as the light of the day shuttered under its vigor. Her breathing became apparent, evaporating in front of her eyes.

"His right hand, Richard Kindell, a coward who sold his soul to the same devil that killed his son. Porca miseria! What type of leverage does that son of a bitch has over Richard that keeps him loyal no matter the cause?"

She cursed under her breath as she took a sharp turn. Upon seeing the large crowd in front of the theatre she decided to examine the atmosphere surrounding her. Women in elegant dresses were accompanied by men in suits. Their sweet conversations concerning their excitement about the movie, pervading the air with love. Utterly oblivious of the fact that they were soon to be bystanders of a tragic ending.

"Tragic but a well-deserved ending."

Her plan was too simple for her liking. She made Richard get the same gun that she had attached to her thigh, two weeks before she sent the suspicious mail to Henry. The mail that contained information exclusively known by the two of them regarding Richard's son's death. She was simply using their trust issues as an advantage.

"25 meters till the warfare."

As she moves closer, the ticket booth becomes more visible and her eyes meet the man of the moment, Murray.

"Smile, Heaven. You don't want to disappoint your audience."

She said as she put her killer smile on, turning heads as she walked by. Her charming nature and her mysterious aura always captured people's attention. Even so, she couldn't care less.

Her hair flowing in harmony with the wind, her steps overflowed with confidence, and her eyes gleamed with the fact that she could finally put an end to what the judiciary system defined as a dilemma. It's time for Maria's long-awaited vendetta.

"Hello, Murphy. How's the night treating you?"

Murphy gave her a heartwarming smile, accompanied by sincere laughter.

"So far so good. What about you my dear?"

"Lovely, I'd say. New York has its charm, you know."

She said as her hand reached her pocket, searching for the ticket.

"Seems so."

Murray said as his eyes carefully scanned Heaven's. Sensing his unusual behavior, Heaven glued her eyes back onto his as she took a step further.

"How do you figure?"

She asked as she gave him a smirk. A smirk that often got people's breath hitch, hands sweat and their heartbeats accelerated.

"Your eyes."

Said Murray letting his body language do the favors, he pointed at her eyes.

"They tell a lot."

He said as he positioned himself back behind the booth. Murray was a part of her plan even though he didn't know much about it. She didn't lie to him but she also didn't tell him things that were none of his business. Such as her soon to be attempted murder.

"I suppose."

She said as she lifted her wrist casually to check the time.

"Aces. Perfect timing."

She dipped her hand back again into the pocket of her coat. Unable to feel any sort of texture regarding the existence of the ticket, she slid her other hand into her other pocket.

"Nothing."

"Your ticket, my dear?"

Without disrupting her composure, she thought of a quick backup plan.

"I need him to participate, I lost my ticket. How is this even possible?"

She thought as she closed her eyes shut. Letting out a deep breath, she opened her eyes only to reveal her teary vision. She strongly held on the cuffs of her coat making her knuckles turn white as she lowered her gaze to the floor. Even the most successful artist would be envious of her skilled performance.

"Murray, my ticket is missing."

Murray studied her reaction as he gave her an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry my dear. I don't think that we have any other tickets left for the night."

Upon hearing his words she raised her gaze to meet his, giving him a look that will scar him for the rest of his life.

"Murray, You know that I can't miss this. Tonight was my main reason for coming to New York. I'm desperate for your help."

She said slowly pushing her coat back to display the outline of the gun beneath her dress. Her innocent demeanor was falsified by her reveal. Murray gave her an empty look, seemingly unaffected by her threat. He stopped for a second before turning to her with a smile.

"I got you, Heaven."

He said as he reached under the desk revealing a golden ticket. He slowly extended his hand as hers followed. Then, he retracted it. Unaware of the dangerous game he was playing with Heaven's patience.

"One last thing, Heaven."

He indicated to her to come closer as he leaned in. Not wanting to waste any more of her precious time Heaven obliged.

"It's time for you to prioritize yourself. For the sake of your good."

He said as he gave her the ticket and pushed the gate open for her.

"Have fun, my dear."

Heaven, unimpressed by his discourse, stepped inside. Hearing the gate close behind her. The heavy smell of tobacco dominated the large area blinded by the lights of the enormous chandelier and golden decorations that reminded her of the Palace of Versailles. A palace that was full of people with extravagant attires laughing and cheering, adorning their social interactions with excessive reactions. Baffled by the unanticipated environment Heaven took a few steps back, letting her back hit the wall.

The wall, located exactly where the gate should be. As her confusion gets the best of her, at her right she notices a man reading a newspaper. She walks close enough to see the contents of the front page. Only to realize that the front page was listing absurdly familiar names of the several presidents. Names that surely belonged to the 20'ies. Heaven gently closed her eyes then she leaned her forehead against the palm of her hand.

"Where the hell am I?" she muttered as her own words, followed by her deep voice, echoed inside of her head. She gave one last glance at the velvet wall where the entrance gate should've been.

"Abandon hope, all ye who enter here."

Vocabulary: 

Second hand: the hand on some watches and clocks that moves quickly, showing the seconds.

Fiesta: an event marked by festivities or celebration.

Porca miseria: in this case used as “Bloody hell”.

Vendetta: a blood feud in which the family of a murdered person seeks vengeance on the murderer or the murderer's family.

"Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.": A message warning one about a hopeless situation from which there is no return. The Italian version of this phrase appears in Dante's Divine Comedy as the inscription on the entrance to Hell. The phrase is most often used humorously.

[irispublishersengineeringscience]

Iris Publishers - Global Journal of Engineering Sciences (GJES)

Significance of Applying Thermal Analysis on Research of Energetic Materials Containing Metal Powders

Authored   by   Sun Yalun

Abstract

Insensitive energetic materials have become one of the important trends in the development of conventional weapons. Metal powder is widely used in composite energetic materials and its advantages have been further confirmed. At present, thermal analysis technology is widely used to study the reaction mechanism of energetic materials including metal powder.

Keywords: Energetic materials; Metal powder; Thermal analysis technology

Introduction

Energetic materials, including propellants, explosives, pyrotechnics and so on, are one of the most important components of the conventional weapon system. They not only determine the safety and reliability of the whole lifecycle of the weapon system, but also determine the operational efficiency of the ammunition system. Insensitive energetic materials have become one of the important trends in the development of conventional weapons [1- 4]. With the continuous intersection, development and integration of materials, chemistry and other disciplines and technologies, the processing technology of energetic materials is changing with each passing day. Through the synthesis of new energetic materials, the surface treatment and modification of single energetic crystal materials, and the use of advanced mixing and composite technology of energetic materials, people can not only improve the ability of energetic materials to unexpected stimulation and inherent environment, but also achieve the purpose of improving its sensitivity, performance and target adaptability in the life cycle. Since 2003, Zhao Fengqi and others [5,6] have introduced the application of nano metal powder in propellant. After several years of research, some of the latest research results have further confirmed the good application prospects of nano metal powders. Its advantages are as follows: improve the combustion efficiency of propellant; increase the burning rate of propellant; catalyze thermal decomposition of propellant components.

The combustion process of energetic materials is a complex multi-stage process based on the chemical reaction of condensed phase and gas phase. All the theoretical models describing combustion are based on the mass and energy (heat) transfer of the thermal decomposition process of energetic materials. The study of thermal decomposition chemistry provides basic kinetic and thermodynamic data for this purpose. Literature [7-10] conducted a deep and beneficial discussion on the thermal decomposition kinetic parameters and kinetic compensation effects of RDX and HMX using DSC, DTA (Differential Thermal Analysis) and TGDTG techniques. Therefore, the study of thermal decomposition chemistry of energetic materials is of great significance to the application of energetic materials.

As a high energy fuel, metal powder is widely used in explosives. A large amount of heat released by oxidation-reduction reaction has become one of the important ways to improve the damage power and range of ammunition.; The combustion stability and durability of pyrotechnics can be improved by adding nano metal powder into pyrotechnics. Adding metal powder to explosive can improve the heat of detonation and the burning rate of propellant. Therefore, the application of nano metal powder can improve the working ability of explosive and the burning performance of propellant. Metal powder is widely used in composite energetic materials. In 2004, Li Yunong et al. [11-14] found that when metal powder was nano-sized, based on the surface effect, the chemical reaction activity of metal powder can be greatly improved, and many more excellent properties can be obtained. The combustion stability and durability of pyrotechnic powder can be improved by adding nano metal powder into pyrotechnic powder; adding metal powder to the explosive can improve the detonation heat, and the work ability can be greatly improved; the burning rate of propellant can be increased at the same time. Therefore, the application of nano metal powder can improve the function of explosives and improve the combustion performance of gunpowder.

However, for a long time, the formulation design of explosives depends on experience or semi experience, which makes people have no clear understanding of the role and influence of metal powder in the reaction of energetic system. In addition, composite energetic materials often contain more than three components. The interaction mechanism between components is very complicated. The existence of physical processes such as melting, or crystallization makes these interactions more whirling. This interaction is the basis for the study of combustion, detonation and deflagration effects of energetic materials mixed systems. At present, thermal analysis technology is widely used to study the reaction mechanism of energetic materials. From the classical isothermal “thermogravimetry” and decomposition gas transformation technology in 1940s to the technology of isotope labeling and isotope effect, as well as the advanced temperature jump Fourier transform infrared (T-jump-FTIR) technology and high pressure differential scanning calorimetry (PDSC) technology [15-18], the thermal behavior of energetic materials has been characterized, and their thermal decomposition kinetics and mechanism have never been studied Interruption. The study of thermal decomposition is the basis of safety technology, risk, stability, use or storage life assessment of energetic materials in production, use, transportation and storage, and also the indispensable premise of basic theoretical research such as combustion and detonation. Thermal decomposition of energetic materials plays an important role in performance evaluation and basic theoretical research.

For more about Iris Publishers please click on: http://irispublishersgroup.com/submit-manuscript.php

To read more about this article   https://irispublishers.com/gjes/fulltext/significance-of-applying-thermal-analysis-on-research.ID.000623.php

 Indexing List of Iris Publishers: https://medium.com/@irispublishers/what-is-the-indexing-list-of-iris-publishers-4ace353e4eee

Iris publishers google scholar citations: https://scholar.google.co.in/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=irispublishers&btnG=