#people stories

[skepwith]

Actual interaction I just had with my grocery delivery guy:

Me: Um, are you a Kiwi? Him: Yeah. You too? Me: Oh, no. Him: Where you from? Me: Here. I mean, I was born in [city]. Him: Must know a few, then. Me: Actually, it's from watching TV. Him: Really? [Mentions a TV show I don't recognize]. Me: No, uh, Our Flag Means Death. Taika Waititi, you know. You sound a bit like him. [Note: He totally sounds like him.] Him: Oh yeah? "Bro." Ha ha!

Tickled me pink.

[mibeau]

[People] From Penang with Love: Practice Tolerance and Be Proud.

Disclaimer: This is based on Irma’s experience with snippets of my observations.

Greetings all!

Today I’m going to share the story of my dear cousin, Irma. Her father is my late mother’s elder brother. This probably seems nothing, but, the most memorable memory I had with her was when she slept over at my place back when my family first moved to Johor Bahru, in 2002. The conversations we had felt more intimate, as that was also the first time I had my own bedroom. The first time I learnt that she is 5 years older than I am. I clearly remember all my maternal girl cousins were big fans of Backstreet Boys, we were influenced by Kak Nat and Kak Shima a lot! So, we actually spent the night discussing about the boys, haha. It was memorable probably because it was the first time I had a “girls only” sleepover ever! Because, even though I visited my grandmothers’ homes quite frequently growing up, and did sleepovers with my cousins there, most of them of my age were boys and we played games outdoors a lot. I love those days as well, but I’ve never actually had any girls' night up till then. So, that is why, the night Kak Irma came all over from Pulau Pinang(Penang) and slept over at my place is memorable.

Irma was born in Kuala Lumpur, raised in Penang, and then moved to Kuala Lumpur(KL) for tertiary education and work. Now, after 16 years in KL, she is back in Penang.

There are four members in her family unit. Her father is Malay, originally from Johor, and her mother is a Thai-Chinese(local Siam in NRIC) mualaf(Muslim Revert) from Penang. She has one younger brother and she is the eldest. Her parents were national athletes. They met during the SEA Games back in 1973. Her father was a High Jump athlete and her mother was a sprinter as well as a hurdler.

At home, although she’s fluent in Malay, regardless of Johor or Penang dialects, the family mainly used English, as her mother’s vocabulary in Malay was not as strong as in English. It was also due to the fact that the Malay dialects spoken by northern and southern Malaysia are different made her parents choose English in most family conversations. She used to learn Padsa Thai(Thai Language) when she was a young girl. But, the lack of practice leads her to lose that language skill. Yet, she is still able to understand whenever her Thai relatives speak during gatherings.

As a kid, we rarely define or categorise ourselves by race and whatnot.

We thought we were supposed to be just like everyone else. We want to fit in and feel belong. When we were not, then we began to question our identity. Irma said,

“When I was younger, I didn’t feel like I was a local. I was confused. Am I really a Malay? Or who am I really? I was raised in a Muslim household, yet, when I visit my maternal grandparents' home, there are other gods, why? Why there were differences in the way they worship God(comparing relatives from both parents)?”

She further added,

“So, when we first moved back to Penang and frequently visited my mother’s kampung, I felt awkward chatting with my relatives and cousins due to language barriers. My mother tongue is Malay-English, and theirs is Thai-Hokkien. Since I do not practice my Thai at home, it was difficult for me to mingle and joke around. I was unable to carry on conversations freely. I used to question myself, “Why am I even here? I am nothing like my cousins.” But, as time passed by, I understood situations better and accepted myself as it is. Thanks to my dear mother who patiently reminds me to accept myself and address my confusions, especially things involving religions and culture.”

Most probably inherited from her father’s Dutch ancestry, Irma and her brother have bigger frames than average Malaysians. As an adult, they are both over 180cm. In addition to that, her looks are not exactly like a Malay or Chinese either. Let’s just say that, she looks Thai but her build is like a European. So, growing up, among her peers, not many opened their hands and invited her to play together. She was very thankful for a few friends who accepted her as she was back then. Oftentimes, it was because she was taller and bigger than others. They appeared to be intimidated by her. Even outside of school, strangers thought she was at least 15 years old when at that time she was only about 11 or 12 years old. It was a bit disheartening to be misunderstood often because her heart and mind were still like other children her age. Also due to her background, her views on things were not aligned much with others, thus, sometimes, she felt misfitted. She also shared,

“As I reach adulthood, I am proud of my identity as a Muslim Malay. Yet, especially whenever I go to new places, people tend to treat me differently. They often assumed I was a foreigner. Only after I started to put on my hijab, that I feel a warm welcome from the Muslim community.”

In her honest view, growing up in a mixed background was not much different culture-wise, Thai and Malay are very similar. From how we behave, the way we eat, cooking styles and others. The best thing about being a mixed race would be food, language and lifestyle. Food, Irma gets to enjoy Chinese, Malay and Thai mouth-watering cuisines in the comfort of her home.  Her favourite dishes are anything Masak Lemak Cili Padi(Spicy turmeric coconut milk curry) and her mom’s homemade Thai Laksa(a delicious spicy coconut broth served with noodles, a protein and a handful of other fresh, crunchy toppings), chef’s kiss! There were no clashes in upbringing values from her parents. Irma said,

“My mother is a mualaf, and since my father also was not a pure Malay, he was not so strict about the traditional Malay culture either. Still, our household is a practising Muslim Family. So, I would say, I might experience differences whenever I visit Kampung Siam. My mother’s family is actually a religious practising Thai Buddhist. Her late father was a Menora performer. So, often, there are so many ceremonies happening. I used to sit next to the stage and watch. That is why I feel that when you’re already exposed to this tolerance from a young, your mindset will be different from those raised in a single-race household. You will be more understanding and we are all at its core, Malaysians. Takde beza sangat lah! (not much different indeed!)”

She gets to celebrate many festivals and observes people of different races effortlessly. She was exposed to language practices firsthand without attending classes. It was all up to her how she was able to absorb and manoeuvre all the good things. That is why she regretted not embracing her Siamese heritage properly and practising the language regularly. Her mother rarely uses Thai at home. Irma usually used and listened to it only when she visited Kampung Siam in George Town, Penang. She said, “Tu lah, bila balik kampung dengar uncle semua cakap, kita paham. Tapi keras lidah ni nak cakap.” (Hmm… I understood everything my uncles chatted away back in our village, but it was difficult for my tongue to articulate any responses in Thai) Her maternal grandparents do not speak English and are more comfortable using the local Malay dialect. Thus, that is the language she used when conversing with them. Her late grandfather, Wandee Aroonratana, better known as Noo Wan, was probably the

last Menora performer in Penang Island. Marking George Town’s 13th Anniversary as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, he was awarded with Lifetime Achievement Award as one of the “Tokoh Warisan Pulau Pinang” for his dedication to Knowledge Transmission back in 2021. He was one of the backbones that actively conserve, preserve and promote the Siamese heritage locally. Indeed, being a public figure, he is fluent in Malay and Thai languages.

Except for her late maternal grandfather who had only Thai blood, her parents and grandparents were of mixed ethnicities. That is why she sees herself as the embodiment of the 1Malaysia concept. Regardless what is her stated race in NRIC, she proudly identifies herself as a Malaysian. In her words,

“Honestly, we Malaysians are so unique. We live together in a multiracial AND multi-religious society. We have the privilege to easily learn about another race, another culture, literally every other minute. Unlike people from mono-race countries, Malaysians are relatively able to adapt to other cultures more easily. We are “trained” since young of the importance of tolerance and understanding different cultures and their lifestyles.”

We often hear that people with mixed backgrounds are less impacted by culture shocks and have better tolerance in facing situations.

In Irma’s opinion, it must be due to our constant exposure to cultural differences closely, since birth. So, whenever we face a new lifestyle of surrounding, our first response will always be to observe and respect. We may be surprised but we rarely judge or feel weird by anything that is out of our comfort zones and existing knowledge. We learn to accept and understand that people can have different ways of approaching matters and values in life. Nurturing tolerance in the community will create a beautiful harmonised living.

“That is why, when you asked me what was the major differences in our ways of living, honestly, I couldn’t think on the spot. But, as I paused, yes, the biggest differences are the way we worship and practice our beliefs. As an adult, mixing around be it with my mother’s side or my father’s side, feels natural, no awkwardness at all.”

But, yes, the difference was only significant when she visited her non-Muslim family members. She clarifies that due to different belief systems, shifting mentality is inevitable. Of course, in her father’s side homes, not much changes since everyone is Muslim and speaks fluent Malay and English. Our mindsets are similar, too. However, when visiting her mother’s side homes, especially when chatting with the elders, she would need to mix languages with her broken Thai, like “I want to Apna.” Apna means “to shower or to bath” in Penang's Siam dialect. And use simple words or short sentences when chatting. Because she learnt from experience, whenever she was excitedly explaining things back then, in the end, her stories were not properly conveyed. Especially jokes. In gist, whenever visiting her mother’s side, she will be more conscious of her choice of words.

When it comes to food spread during family gatherings, if there happens to be non-halal food presence, her mother’s family will notify them whenever they come over. She appreciates this about her mother’s family. She said,

“Because, as a growing Muslim child, we may not be sure of what we can and cannot consume. So they are always there to advise me. If events were going on at Kampung Siam, they would inform me whether I could participate or not. If it was a religious thing, they would make sure to ask me to step aside and watch only. To observe and understand their culture and conduct. I love my family. All these enriched my views in life.”

Reminiscing her good memories in Kampung Siam, Pulau Tikus, Penang.

“Perhaps, it is the last Kampung Siam in Penang, God knows when it will last. My mother’s kampung used to be the main place in Malaysia for Thai Buddhists to come and study the religion, especially to be Monks. Like a Madrasah. As far as I remember, on most days, the vicinity is very quiet, and serene. Basically, we can say that the whole kampung is a Thai Buddhist Centre. There are worship places, graveyards, cremation places and a few Wats. There are non-Thai Buddhist temples nearby, too. But, you can differentiate them by the colour of their gates. The gate Thai Buddhist Temple or Wat, will always be blue. So, the little me with my brothers and cousins all, used to play everywhere within the compound of Wat Chaiya Mangalaram. Although I don’t speak Thai, no one actually realised that I am Malay. No one cared, I was treated like any other Thai kid in the village. It was fun and free, haha, good days.”

Due to the large Siam community there, whenever there are holy ceremonies or Thai celebrations like Songkran, it is a huge event! It seems like we were in Thailand itself. She adds, “So yeah, when it comes to religious celebration, it was really a different exposure. Otherwise, mannerisms, food, as long as halal, we are all the same.”

Irma encourages fellow Malaysians to venture out and try to mingle with others outside of our racial circles as well. Especially, those in the suburbs, please do not be dictated by ideas that divide our beloved racial harmony. Take part in community events. At least, enough for us to respectfully understand others' way of living and perspective of life. From her own experience, once upon a time, she had a friend who hailed from a rural place and used to hang out only with her “own kind”. When her friend first moved to Singapore, the friend experienced major culture shock and developed anxiety issues. It took the friend a long time to adapt to the changes.

Therefore, being Malaysians, we must not be one-track-minded. Seize the opportunity, to explore the country and our rich culture. InshaAllah, if we can adapt to every state in Malaysia, we can make ourselves at home anywhere in this world!

---

Photos not tagged are taken from: Thai Laksa, Ayam Masak Lemak Cili Padi

[what-eats-owls]

So there's something I want to say re: intentionally withholding your vote, and I want to do it without coming across as condescending or dismissive.

I've worked as a field organizer in two campaigns, 2010 and 2012, and my job was to help turnout the vote for Democratic candidates up and down the ticket. Technology may have changed, but people are still knocking on doors for specific voters the way they were 12 years ago.

If you say you're not voting/voting 3rd party, the campaign volunteer is supposed to mark that and move on. Their job, in the final month of the election, is to make sure the campaign's supporters have all the information and resources they need to cast a vote.

They aren't collecting data on why you're withholding your vote. They aren't submitting opinion polling results to the campaign. Something like 155 million people voted in the 2020 election, and if you say you're not voting, the campaign is not going to waste a volunteer's time and morale begging you to vote when there are literally millions of other voters to turn out.

Let me repeat that: The campaign does not track why you're not voting. They simply note your vote is not a priority for turnout and move on.

I say this because I see a lot of promotion of non-voting like that's a boycott, when the function is not the same. A boycott is a coordinated mass refusal to engage with an institution—which sounds similar if you see a vote as a good or service to withhold. Unfortunately, it's not.

A vote is a choice you're making as part of a community hiring committee. Your abstention doesn't prevent someone from being hired. It just lowers the threshold for the worst candidate to succeed.

All this to say: In my direct experience as an organizer, abstaining from the vote sends a message. That message is not "You need to try harder to win my vote." It's "Don't waste time on me."

[lesbxdyke]

I could think of no better way to share the news than this!

So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.

Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.

Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!

Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)

He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!

I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!

Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:

[ered]

Here’s my take on the whole audio books vs. reading:

Oral tradition of storytelling predates written ones by millennias, and honestly, which one you like is just a personal preference.

The actual difference is

when listening, you have no idea how to write characters’ names

when reading, you have no idea how to pronounce characters’ names

hope this helps!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[baristabomb]

...weird amount of dunmeshi fans have been saying being a caretaker in a relationship is the worst thing ever..marcille must want to killl everyone soo bad because doing things for people suuuucks sooo muchh

it's an act of love, not just a job i promise. we all want someone who's willing to take care of us in some way, just like how senshi shows care for others by cooking for them :'|

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

[hopelessromanticsavage]

They will burn this shit down before they allow us to shine. White ppl are weak and fragile. Yep I said it

[emberfaye]

You know what?

I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.

I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)

I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.

I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.

I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.

I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.

I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.

I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.

I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.

[gentil-minou]

Everytime I see posts like this I get filled with such profound sadness

Cause you know who has the same brainrot as you? The same unhinged feelings as you after you've read the fic? The person who always wants to scream about the fic with you?

THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT

I never used to leave comments but since I got into the habit of commenting on everything i enjoy it's been incredible. Especially when the author gets back to me about it and we get to have a discussion of what other ideas they had. One writer replied to my comment with a 5 paragraph essay detailing the Floorplan of the building the characters lived in and it was incredible

Anyways this is all to say that if you find a fic that just makes you want to scream from the rooftops, leave a comment saying that to the author and maybe they will join you and you can scream incoherently together

[lgbtlunaverse]

I've seen a good number of people ask a question along the lines of "why do characters like Falin and hate Laios when they're so similar?" and i've also seen good analysis on the differences in how the touden siblings carry themselves that would, despite their shared traits, make a person gravitate to one more than the other.

But i feel like we've overseen one very central thing here.

People don't like Falin

Like... the average person in dungeon meshi doesn't like Falin. She was deeply ostrasized by her home village, in magic school she had zero friends before Marcille and the others generally saw her as strange and a bit offputting.

Characters like Namari and Chilchuck like her well enough but not necessarily more than any other member of their party, including Laios. Neither Kabru nor his party think much of her. The canaries don't give a fuck about her. Toshiro's retainers don't see her as anything else than the weird foreign girl their boss has a crush on.

The reason we think everyone loves Falin is because, despite all the indifferent side characters, the 2 most important and central characters of the story are Laios and Marcille. Who are NOT representative of the average attitudes to Falin! But necromancy georg number 1 and 2 are our main eyes into the story and they love Falin so much that it colours our perspective of the whole world.

The only side character who qualifies as liking Falin and not Laios is Toshiro (at least at first, as he ends the story on much better terms with Laios) and that says a lot about his character, with him drifting to the quiet Falin precisely because of her oddness but being both uncomfortable with and deeply jealous of Laios' much more open expression of that oddness. Because he's a repressed guy from a culture where etiquette is incredibly important.

But like I said, that's a specific aspect of him, not to the world at large.

Because there's also people that click more with laios than with Falin.

Kabru, for one, who is initially distrustful of laios but clearly also deeply fascinated by him and drawn to him.

Minor spoilers, and you don't have to read too deeply into this, because I don't think Kabru particularly dislikes Falin or anything. But it's interesting that when he talks about his distrust of the toudens in ch.32 he's talking about them both. But his big friendship declaration in chapter 76 is aimed squarely at Laios, he doesn't say "you and your sister" he says "you"

And Senshi!! He instantly clicks with Laios, well before he does so with anyone else in the party– who he also becomes friends with, it just takes a bit longer– specifically because they bond over their shared special interest in monsters!! Senshi is kind towards Falin and cares for her wellbeing, but he also... doesn't know her. The reason he is even here, helping to save her, is because he and Laios bonded over monsters and he wants to help his new friends out!

Of course, the theme of neurodivergent isolation is very present in Laios' story. I'm not denying that. He does turn people off, without meaning to and unable to fully understand why! But so does Falin. And just like there are people who like her despite of or even because of those traits, there are people who do the same with him.

In conclusion: "Average person loves Falin and hates Laios" factoid actually statistical error. Average person is neutral on both Falin and Laios. Georcille, Laiorg and Geoshiro, who live in the dungeon and think over 10,000 Falin-loving thoughts a day, are statistical outliers adn should not have been counted.

[deadghostgirl12345]

*writes a sentence or two after writing nothing for days*

[chloesimaginationthings]

Purple Michael is the best FNAF Michael