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grimmsbride · 2 days ago

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LOVERS ROCK [ daisuke / reader ]

keeping your relationship a secret from your coworkers was no doubt; thrilling. and also, very, very challenging. it didn’t help the two of you just loved to push your limits

notes / #bringbackdryhumping | reader is the same janitor reader in my previous fic (obviously). i got this idea randomly, daisuke seems like the type to take his partner to scenic places for dates. and well.. the nighttime screen is about as scenic as it gets on the tulpar. i hope you enjoy and as usual please excuse any grammar mistakes or typos 🫶🏾. i feel i made him very ooc, i’m used to see daisuke smut being quite submissive to the reader so i wanted to go a different approach.. i think in situations like this he may be a little more confident, especially if his partner is reciprocating to the feeling. if you have any thoughts on the manner let me know <3

The Tulpar was filled with mundane tasks. Wake up, clean, eat, shower, and go back to sleep— a routine that’s been ingrained into your body. A continuous cycle that would have bored you to death without your beloved music. You were grateful for your position, no matter how minuscule, yet you couldn’t deny the wish for something more.

And luckily it came true; in the form of a young man nonetheless.

You weren’t one to mix business and pleasure, it just seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. Coming across Tulpar and the demographic you expected to be on the ship — older people that certainly weren’t your type — you were quite confident you wouldn’t go against your usual code. But alas, you surprised yourself while falling for a certain intern.

As bright eyed and slightly clueless he was, Daisuke was a pocket of sunshine you’ve come to truly adore. Always there when he can be, even if it means a quick kiss when you’re cleaning or a gentle pinch when passing by to remind you of who was in your corner.

Keeping your growing relationship a secret from your coworkers was troublesome but extremely necessary. You couldn’t imagine the expressions the others would display, especially Jimmy who just seemed to be far too eager to stomp on just about anyone's happiness; no matter the size.

Still, you couldn’t deny how thrilling it was at times. Pulling your partner into a quiet dark corner for a few extra kisses, or the secret looks the two of you gave each when in a public setting. The line was thinning longer and longer, close calls increasing as time passed.

And yet here you were, seated upon the living room couch; waiting for your beloved Daisuke.

Usually if the two of you wanted alone time when everyone was asleep you alternated between your bedrooms. At least there, there was a door and bed. But for some reason, Daisuke was adamant on spending some time out here; underneath the pretty nighttime screen.

Your eyes stared up at the blues and whites, head leaning back against the shoulder of the couch as music poured into your ears. Your thumb traced the little device, perfectly at ease.

That was until something delicately traced the back of your neck.

You swallowed a yelp, quickly turning with a jump to glare at the one responsible— who only grinned back at you.

“Daisuke! What if I had yelled?”

You stood up from the couch, watching the man walk around the before waltzing down the little steps. Within two strides he was standing in front of you, glancing down at you with the sweetest smile.

“But you didn't!” Daisuke chuckled the moment you lightly shoved his chest, catching your wrist in time before you could move it away. In doing so, he locked your fingers whilst his free hand went for the earbud occupying one of your ears. Pulling it out, the man then lifted it to his own, bringing himself closer to your form.

You met him, unoccupied hand sliding up to wrap your arm around his waist, laying your head against his chest. Between the melody of his heart beat and Tv Girl running through your ears, you were at complete bliss. As if you could fall asleep right then and there.

The two of you swayed, allowing yourselves to get caught up in each other rather than your surroundings. You felt his free hand sneak underneath your arm, pulling it higher until your hand was on top of his shoulder. After which, Daisuke’s hand found your waist, tugging you even closer and actually adding moves to your swaying.

You snorted softly, mumbling softly about him being corny to which the man only laughed. Silence continued after as the two of you danced slowly, carefully, as to hopefully not alert the others of your rather embarrassing nightly activities.

A step, another, and then a graceful stride. You wondered if Daisuke danced a lot back home. The thought caused you to laugh once again, just in time for your lover to twirl you.

Slithering his arm tighter around your waist, he pulled your back to his front, face being shoved into your neck.

Your eyes peeled open, staring up at the nighttime screen that stared back at you. “Dancing under the stars, huh?..”

“A perfect date.”

You smiled at his words, hand rose to reach back and lightly fuss with his hair. “Yeah, all girls love dancing at work while watching a blown up image of a fake sky.”

Daisuke laughed into your ear, the pitch perfectly going along with the music you shared.

“I told my dad I knew what the ladies wanted.”

You groaned softly, teetering between amusement and playful annoyance. You turned around in his hold, hands rising to hold his warm cheeks.

“You’re corny..”

Daisuke smiled, thumb tracing the small of your back, messing with the fabric of the top you wore. “And lucky for me, you’re into it.” You didn’t need to agree nor deny, given the sweet kiss you pressed to his lips was answer enough. He kneeled to meet you fully, tugging you so close as if wishing to melt into you. Your noses brushed against each other, cold tips warming as you consumed one another. You loved kissing Daisuke, not just because he was your boyfriend but more-so cause he was a damned good kisser.

His lips always moved so slow at first, before slowly picking up the longer you continued. A hand rose from your back to instead cup the back of your head, a shiver running down your spine the moment his fingers traced up your scalp; messing in your hair.

So desperate.. you two always were. The thought of any interruptions spurred you on to always savor each and every moment with as much as passion as possible.

And it seemed the both of you intended to do just that, as — ever so carefully — Daisuke walked backwards, leading you with him. Once close enough he was descending to the couch, taking you with him by the waist and pulling you onto his lap.

The two of you broke apart for a moment, gulping up the air around you greedily before smashing your lips together with even more vigor. Your hands were clutching his shoulders at this point, suddenly being reminded Daisuke wasn’t just some clueless man.

You shivered as you felt his hand glide, intruding your top to lay his fingers upon your warm skin. With each interlock of your tongues his fingers were digging into your flesh, a soft whine being pushed from his throat into your mouth. The sound alone caused your thighs to clench, moving carefully in his lap.

Which of course, was met with a hiss and a quick squeeze. You questioned this for a moment, before quickly realizing why it happened in the first place.

This only caused you to smile against him, lowering your hips fully before dragging them against him slowly.

Daisuke was off your lips in minutes, hands falling to your waist as a hushed groan escaped his bruised lips.

“Here?..” The man spoke gently, eyes flicking from between your bodies before back to your face. His eyebrows furrowed as you continued your languid drags, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

You nodded slowly, leaning closer to press your lips to his ear. “Mhm.. here.”

“Then.. I want to feel— more. Please.” His words were sweet, allowing them to settle in the air for a moment before his fingers were curling to tug at your pants, allowing you to get the message. You stood up rather quickly, pushing your pants down and off, the bottoms pooling at your ankles.

You watched as Daisuke did the same, now only in plain boxers, a funny contrast to the gaudy everyday shirt he usually wore.

Stepping out of your pants, you caught his hands as you made your way back to his lap, brushing your clothed cunt right against his growing bulge as you sat down. It was your time to whine as you felt him through your thin fabrics, Daisuke capturing your lips rather quickly afterwards.

Slowly, you began that same languid pace, gripping his shoulders for stability as you dragged your hips back and forth.. back and forth. His nails were digging into your thighs, meeting your movement with a small, desperate thrust. Moans passed between the two of you, warmth, and music mixing into a sensation that you could only describe as euphoria.

Dramatic sure, but what else could you call it, exactly?

“Could come.. ju—just from this.” Daisuke mumbled the moment the two of you broke apart for air, his face falling to your neck to stamp wet kisses to your skin. He was gentle not to focus too much on a single area, worrying about leaving behind a mark. Though, it seemed rather contradictory given the location the two of you chose for your.. fun.

You were aching, panties surely soaked with arousal as that itch grew. You could only pant in his ear, unsure how exactly this felt so good. Maybe it was pent up, a mixture of stress and the misfortune of lack of alone time. Regardless, it wasn’t your job to figure it out at the moment.

The only job you had right now was to continue to chase this feeling, for as long as you could.

Daisuke pulled you closer if humanly possible, hips rising up from the couch as he ground up into you. He wasn’t lying early, despite zero actual contact he could feel himself twitching— begging for release. The effect you had on him was far too great, after all.

Desperate breaths escaped you, thighs shaky yet yearning for more. His touch, everything, you wanted to feel it all. Your fingers rose to curl into his hair, leaning into his ear as the softest more, dropped from your tongue.

Your words spurred him, fingers squeezing your flesh, nails tracing against those pretty marks that lined your hips.

“You want more?.. Of course, whatever you want.”

Daisuke could never deny you, no matter how small the request was. In minutes he was tugging his boxers down to his thighs, hand lazily dragging across his length. It was a pretty color, lighter than him, with a mole on the under side of his shaft.

The man then reached with his other hand to curl his finger on your panty, tugging it to the side and exposing your soft cunt to his hand. For a moment his finger gently circled your hardened bud, enjoy the pleasant noises you struggled to keep down.

But soon enough he was becoming as desperate as you, helping you position carefully, rubbing his weeping tip against your clit. Daisuke hissed, continuing to coat his dick in your arousal before finding your entrance, lining up, and raising his hips to push himself inside.

The both of you groaned, your eyes pinched closed as you sunk down. Your walls wrapped around his length perfectly, swallowing him up and keeping him deep inside. With each breath you released you clenched, causing the young man under you to struggle to keep his mind straight. Daisuke couldn’t help being so inexperienced, and well.. neither could you, given you felt a single movement would be enough to push you over the edge.

Your eyes slowly opened, gaze falling to his face, taking the time to map out his expression. Would it be corny to call him beautiful? Was it corny to find your lover beautiful in a such state? Under your mercy, as close as biologically possible? Maybe.. but you didn’t dwell on it long, instead deciding to graze your palms across his cheeks, thumbs coming to trace the moles on either side.

“I love you.”

Your words were earnest, laced with the sweetest honey. You smiled, watching his own signature smile cross his face, perfectly. Like any other time.

Daisuke pulled you even closer, a grip to your thigh as he leaned to just a breath’s away.

“See. Now you’re the corny one.”

Your lover swallowed the pretty laughter threatening to leave your chest, all smiles as his arms wrapped around your waist. Once tucked close and snug, his hips, the small thrust enough for the both of you to sigh into the other’s mouth.

Soon enough your knees were pressing against the cushions, hips rising and falling into his lap. With each drop, wet skin smacked against each other, certainly a worrying sound but the two of you seemed to no longer care.

You were too caught up in each other anyway.

Your fingers curled into his silky locks, crying out into his mouth as he stirred you up deeply. His length hit each spot perfectly, a mold made specifically for you. And what’s more, the moment a hand snaked under your skirt to drag his thumb across your nipple— you began to see stars.

Daisuke groaned into you, meeting each drop of your hips with desperate thrusts. You felt so good, way too good. He tried to keep his voice down as to avoid alerting the others, and hear you. You just sounded far too good to ignore.

Your shaky breaths, the way your voice pitched whenever his tip brushed against that special spot — don’t even get him started on the gasps you made when Daisuke went, just a little too deep. Alas he couldn’t focus on the growing list of reasons for his obsession you; bringing you complete pleasure was the main objective.

“You’re clenching me.. you’re going to come, aren’t you?” Daisuke drawled against your lips, pressing a kiss to them before dragging his own over to your ear. Each pant and groan hit it directly, the man at this point helping you rise and fall upon his cock.

“I want you to finish.. all over me.”

“Daisuke—!”

“Not so loud..” The intern spoke in a soft rasp, squeezing you close as his end grew closer. “I don’t need the others to hear you like this. It’s on—only for me, yeah?”

You shook your head rapidly, lip nearly bleeding from how hard you were biting down, your fingers digging into his shoulders— sure to leaves marks despite the shirt he wore.

Within moments you were seeing white, clutching him as you fulfilled his wish. Your arousal coated his dick and thighs, making a sticky mess that was surely on the couch by now.

Daisuke swore under his breath, bringing you onto his lap in one final thrust before filling you up. Luckily he remembered you took the pill as to regulate your period.

The two of you panted, in sync with each other and the music that seemed to still be blasting in your ears. How exactly your earbuds sustained that erratic movement, you will never know nor question.

You pulled back to glance at Daisuke, spotting the man already looking at you, smiling brightly.

You rolled your eyes, glancing down at the space between your two bodies.

“This is going to be so annoying to clean.”

Daisuke stifled his laughter, pulling you into a tight hug, eyes shining whilst he stared up at the screen;

“Maybe… I love you too, [Name].”

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aquaticmercy · 2 days ago

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Portals

Summary : You teach Bucky how to open portals using a sling ring. Turns out, he’s a menace with that thing.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x sorceress!reader (she/her)

Warnings/tags : Lots of fluff. Cursing. Implied sex if you squint. Wong is your bestie. Bucky loves you so much???

Word count : 2.1k

Note : I just keep making fics with superpowered! Reader lol. Enjoy!!!

You first met Bucky a few days after the Battle against Thanos.

You were among the Kamar-Taj sorcerers who had fought against then Mad Titan’s army, and now you found yourself volunteering in the makeshift infirmary set up in upstate New York. It had been running non-stop for three exhausting days, treating the wounded heroes and civilians alike.

Your job wasn’t glamorous, but it was important— mending smaller wounds—cuts, bruises, and the occasional fractured bone—with a bit of magic, leaving the more complex cases to professionals like Christine Palmer and Stephen Strange. Magic was powerful, but it had physical limitations.

You were wiping your hands clean after finishing a quick healing spell when you spotted him.

Bucky Barnes was standing near the edge of the tent, his long hair brushing his shoulders, looking curiously around the room. Perhaps it reminded him of the infirmaries he was used to finding himself in, back in the 1940s. He wasn’t there for himself, but to accompany Sam Wilson, who was sitting on a cot while Christine examined a nasty gash on his arm, making sure it didn't get infected.

You weren’t sure what drew your attention to him. Maybe it was the way that he stood like he was always ready for battle. Maybe he was just… your type. Either way, you knew you wanted to talk to him.

Besides, you both have been through hell. Maybe a little lighthearted flirting could improve the mood.

You nudged Strange, who was muttering something under his breath about a ruptured spleen.

“Psst,” you whispered, glancing toward the corner of the tent.

“What?” he grumbled without looking up, clearly a bit annoyed, but also a little amused. He had learned to anticipate your little antics. He would never admit it, but you did make life a little more interesting.

“Introduce me to him.” You tilted your head toward Bucky, trying to sound nonchalant.

Strange finally glanced up, following your line of sight. “Barnes?” His eyebrows rose in surprise, then furrowed. “I barely know him.”

“Do I look like I care?” you shot back, tilting your head in a silent plea. “Please?”

Strange sighed, the corner of his mouth twitching like he was fighting a smile. “Fine,” he said, closing the chart with an exaggerated snap. “but if this distracts you from stitching people back together, I’m putting you on night guard duty for the next week.”

“Thank you,” you shot back with a grin. He waved it off as walked with you toward Bucky.

When you reached him, Strange made the introduction short and sweet. “Barnes, this is our librarian. Apparently, she thinks now’s a good time to meet new people.” He glanced at you, “And she’s very persistent, so you’re stuck now.”

Bucky blinked, clearly surprised, before turning to you with a polite smile. “Hi.”

—

Your first date was a quiet dinner in New York. Your second was a walk through the city, where Bucky told you stories about Brooklyn in the 40s, and you told him how you found yourself studying magic. By the third date, he was making you laugh so hard you spilled iced coffee all over yourself. From then on, you knew you were in too deep.

It wasn’t long until you were sneaking Bucky into Kamar-Taj during your breaks, showing him small, inconsequential tricks with magic, and stealing kisses in the hidden alcoves of the library.

He had an almost childlike wonder for sorcery, and you couldn’t help but enjoy the way his eyes lit up whenever you showed him something new.

It was romantic. It was thrilling. Until Wong caught the two of you kissing behind a row of ancient texts on chaos magic.

“Really?” Wong said flatly, arms crossed as you and Bucky hastily pulled apart, “are you both sixteen again?”

“Please don’t tell Strange,” you blurted out, “or I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Wong raised an eyebrow. “I’ll consider it,” he replied.

Later, over tea, Wong brought it up again, his tone a bit more curious. “You’re not planning on quitting your job to go be an Avenger with Barnes, are you?” he asked, sipping his chai. “Because I am not taking over as head librarian again. That was the worst three months of my life.”

You snorted into your tea. “Relax, Wong,” you assured him with a laugh. “I actually like my job. You see, unlike some people, I can actually read.”

Wong didn’t even hesitate, flicking you lightly on the forehead with a spark of magic.

—

Being the librarian of Kamar-Taj meant that your schedule was, at best, unpredictable. One moment, you were cataloging ancient tomes; the next, you were stopping a novice from accidentally summoning a fire demon. Bucky understood your responsibilities, but as more magic users went rogue, you started sneaking him in less and less.

One day, when you laid awake in your bed with him on your side, he muttered something about stupid witches and goddamn evil sorcerers, cussing them out for taking you away from him. You could see how much he hated waiting for you to have free time.

So you came up with a brilliant plan.

“You want me to learn magic?” Bucky’s skeptical voice echoed in the library as you handed him a sling ring.

“Just this one thing,” you said, wrapping your arms around him from behind. “So you can come to me instead of waiting for me to come to you.”

He raised an eyebrow, half-expecting some trick. “What’s the catch?”

“The catch,” you said, “is that you actually have to practice.”

It took him a while to get started, to a point where you weren’t sure if he’d even be able to do it at all.

Sling rings required focus, visualisation, and precision— and Bucky wasn’t exactly used to magical tools. “Maybe I’m just more of a hit-stuff kinda guy,” he grumbled after his fourth failed attempt at opening a portal.

“Focus, babe,” you teased. “Picture where you want to go. Feel it.”

To his credit, he practiced religiously during his visits, and eventually, it clicked. The first time he successfully opened a portal to your exact location, he was so pleased with himself that he barely noticed that he had scared America Chavez in the process.

“Nailed it,” he said, beaming with pride.

What you hadn’t anticipated was how much he’d use it once he got the hang of it.

The first time he surprised you, you were in the middle of shelving some ancient leather bound books. They held an ancient power, one that could destroy the world if it got into the wrong hands.

Suddenly, A golden portal shimmered to life in front of you. You yelped as Bucky’s head poked through.

“Hey, doll,” he said casually, as if he hadn’t just scared you half to death.

“Bucky!” you hissed, clutching a fragile book to your chest. “This is a restricted section!”

“I just wanted to see where you’ve been all day,” he shrugged, stepping through the portal.

You glared at him, but the warmth in his eyes meant that you could never stay mad at him. “You’re going to get me in trouble,” you muttered.

He leaned down to press a quick kiss to your temple. “Worth it.”

It turned out, teaching Bucky how to use a sling ring was both the best and worst idea you’d ever had.

One evening, as you were nestled in your quarters, peacefully centering your mind after a long day when a soft whirl manifested behind you. Before you could open your eyes, a pair of strong arms wrapped snugly around your waist.

“Miss me?” Bucky purred in your ear.

You squeaked, nearly toppling the candle flickering in front of you. “James fucking Barnes!” you gasped, twisting to glare at him. Cursing wasn’t really approved in meditation circles, so you hoped none of the pacifist elder sorcerers heard you.

“What?” he asked, smirking sheepishly.

“You can’t just portal in while I’m meditating!”

Your cheeks flared, but the way his arms stayed wrapped around you made it awfully hard to stay annoyed at him.

Then there was the shower incident.

You were mid-rinse, the hot spray of water melting away the stressful day— Wong had insisted on combat training today, and you had managed to knot every muscle in your upper body. You were blissfully lost in your own little world until you heard the whirl of a portal opening.

“Hey, doll—”

You shrieked, instinct taking over as you manifested a shield and threw the closest thing to you—a slippery bar of soap—and flung it blindly in the intruder’s direction. It landed with a wet thud on Bucky’s chest.

He stood there, grinning casually, steam curling around him like a halo.

“BUCKY!” you yelled, yanking the shower curtain halfway closed. “What the fuck?!”

“I missed you,” he said, smiling as if he was the poster boy for innocence.

“Close it! Now!” you growled, pointing at the still-open portal as water dripped down your arms.

“Right,” he raised his hands, the portal vanished with a soft hum. He didn’t move from his spot. Instead, he tilted his head, giving you a slow once-over that made heat creep up your neck.

“Can I join you?” he asked, his voice low and teasing.

You sighed, caught between indignation and... oh, who were you kidding? The sight of your ridiculously gorgeous, super-soldier boyfriend standing there, all smug, was doing dangerous things to your resolve.

Might as well make the most of it, right? Who knows when he’ll get whisked off to a foreign land for a mission again?

“…yes,” you murmured, barely audible over the pounding of your heartbeat and the cascade of water.

Bucky’s grin turned wicked. Without hesitation, he peeled off his clothes. His broad shoulders came into view, glistening faintly from the steam as he stepped into the shower with a satisfied smile.

One time, he even showed up in the library while Wong was painstakingly rifling through stacks of scrolls in search of a specific one about interdimensional wards.

Bucky had gotten so stealthy with his portals that neither of you noticed him at first—not until he appeared, leaning casually against the edge of a nearby shelf, sporting his usual broody, charming smile.

Wong was startled slightly, his hands freezing mid-air as he glanced at Bucky. Then at you. Then back at Bucky.

“I see you’ve taught him the sling ring,” Wong said dryly, the corners of his mouth twitching, suppressing an amused smile.

“I regret it every single day,” you muttered, glaring playfully at your boyfriend. Bucky, of course, was unfazed. He simply crossed his arms, waiting for you to give him more attention.

“Good to see you too, Wong,” Bucky replied, clearly enjoying causing a scene.

“Barnes,” Wong said, nodding in acknowledgment but already returning to his scrolls with a heavy sigh. The current sorcerer supreme muttered under his breath, “If he knocks over one shelf, you’re fixing it.”

Bucky only shrugged. “Do I look like someone who’d knock over a shelf?”

“Yes,” you and Wong replied in unison.

Tonight, though, the stress had gotten to you more than usual. Strange had shown up with a tentacle monster and tasked you with banishing it to the dark dimension. It took you four scrolls and two hours to get the right spell.

All you wanted was Bucky—his arms around you, his kisses peppering your face. But as the hours ticked by, your heart sank. He hadn’t shown up like he usually did, and you were beginning to think he wasn’t going to show up at all.

When you finally pushed open the door to your quarters, you were surprised to find him already there.

An adorable smile played on his lips as he looked up from where he’d been arranging a cosy little corner, piled high with blankets and pillows. He had a bag of your favorite snacks sitting on your bedside table, his laptop was set up to play your favorite movie.

“Wong called,” he said, “he told me you had a rough day.”

You melted instantly, letting out a tired but grateful sigh as you sank into his arms.

“You’re still a menace with that ring,” you mumbled into his chest, your words muffled by his comfy sweatshirt.

Bucky chuckled, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. His fingers brushed your jawline, and with the gentlest touch, he guided your face toward his. The moment his lips met yours, it was as if the world melted away. His kiss was sweet— so full of love that it left you longing for more.

As you curled up together, your head resting on his shoulder, you decided you could definitely put up with a few surprises. After all, he mastered the sling ring just for you.

-end.

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twirlyleafs · 3 days ago

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Falling apart, alone.

Lando Norris x reader

Summary: The season has been brutal, everyone could see it. Everyone could see Lando struggling. You could see it too, you just didn’t know how to help him when he so clearly didn’t want your help.

TW: bad mental health, anger, helplessness.

Notes: all I want in life is for Lando to be happy ngl I love that boy. Also sorry max <3 ALSO I got an anonymous tip to add summaries so I’m trying that thank u anon!! xx

~~~~

The sun hung low in the sky, illuminating the almost unbelievably blue water and bouncing off the golden cliffs. Your eyes had been caught out the window ever since you got out along the coastline, Lando maneuvering the car along the squiggly road. The blur of golden hues, olive trees and colorful villas had you let out a content sigh.

The break couldn’t have come at a better time. That’s the thought that constantly ran through your mind. This break, a three week break from everything that racing and f1 brought with it, came at the last minute and you couldn’t be more grateful. The season was grueling, both physically and mentally. You’d watched Lando push himself harder than ever, the pride of being on top overshadowed by a desire to do better. You could see how the weight of expectations, both others and his own, dragged him down like an anchor and you felt for him. His smiles had started to falter and the usually bright light in his eyes had been dimmed these past few months, only getting worse with each race weekend. He needed this, time away from the spotlight and the relentless scrutiny from the media. Time to just relax and be reminded that he’s loved, loved and appreciated. Max and P were already waiting for you at the villa you’d rented for the week, a little house tucked into the Italian hills. When Max brought it up as a suggestion you’d immediately accepted, not even giving Lando the chance to decline. Max was his safe space just as much as you were and the more people to support him the better, you thought. You hadn’t told Lando this of course, instead expressing how much you’d always wanted to rent a house on the Italian coast, but some part of you still believed he knew this was mostly for him. For his health.

You glanced over at him in the drivers seat, one hand securely on the steering wheel and the other resting on the console between you. His curls had gotten longer recently, almost dropping down over his eyebrows, and you made a mental note to offer to cut his hair while you were here. If he’d let you. Your heart ached at the tightness of his jaw and you gently reached over to wrap your fingers around his larger ones. Lando immediately glanced over at you, a small smile tugging at his lips as he flipped his hand to intertwine with yours.

“What?” He asked softly. “Why are you staring?”

“Nothing.” You smiled, leaned over to press a gentle kiss against his shoulder. “I’m just excited. We’re almost there, right?” When Lando nodded you let out a soft breath. “I’m happy we’re doing this. It’s going to be so nice.”

“Me too.” Landos smile had grown, although there was a flicker of something else in his eyes. Something somber. He brought your hand over to press a quick series of kisses against it before focusing back on the road, the silence settling in the car again. Just a few minutes later you rolled to a stop outside the villa, the epitome of picturesque with pale stone walls and green shutters surrounded by cypress trees. The front door opened just as you stepped out of the car, both Max and Pietra slipping out with huge smiles on their faces. You beamed as P skipped down the steps, hurrying over to wrap you up in a hug and greeting you with the type of enthusiasm that made you feel welcome and wanted.

“You’re late.” Max teased loudly as he offered you a hug, P moving to lovingly greet Lando.

“We took the longer route, more scenery.” Lando quipped back, backing away as Max approached him. You stopped to watch them, a smile tugging at your lips when you heard Lando let out a laugh as Max grabbed him in a playful headlock. Maxs laugh was louder, ruffling Landos hair before he finally managed to wrangle himself free. Watching them you felt a flicker off hope. If Max could pull a laugh from Lando after thirty seconds, maybe a week together would really do Lando some good.

The first few days in the villa passed in a haze of slow mornings and lazy afternoons, the four of you enjoying the quiet and each other’s company. Lando and Max made it a routine to take a morning run together while you and P prepared breakfast, all of you eating together on the patio when they got back. The breakfasts usually went on way onto midday, time not really being an issue for any of you. It felt like the rest of the world was on pause and you had all the time in the world. You would catch Lando smiling, the kind that actually reached his eyes and made you believe he might actually be doing better. But those moments didn’t last. It was the small things; the way his gaze would drift during conversations or the way he picked at his own cuticles until he started bleeding. He laughed and joked like normal but there was an edge to it, almost forced, and if you and Max and Pietra hadn’t known him as well as you did you never would’ve noticed. You also noticed how often he’d excuse himself for a few moments, disappearing under the guise of checking emails or answering calls. One evening the four of you were gathered in the living room, Lando absentmindedly rubbing circles on your back as you handed out the cards for the upcoming round of poker. The game started lighthearted enough, Maxs usual trash talk and both you and P calling him out when he tried to cheat. Lando made a rare mistake and before he could think Max called him out for it, teasing him about being off his game. You could see the way Landos jaw tightened, a flicker of something darker flashing across his face before he forced a strained smile. A comment like that was normal, usually nothing anyone reacted to, but it obviously got under his skin tonight and once again the worry settled in your stomach. That night, laying in bed together, you reached out to gently run your fingers through his curls. Lando hummed, opening one eye to glance at you.

”You okay?” The careful question had him pressing his eyes shut again, offering a nod.

”Yeah, of course. Just tired. Are you?” You knew he wasn’t but you didn’t want to push, didn’t know how he’d react, so you just mirrored his nod before shuffling closer. Lando wrapped you up in his arms, pressing a soft kiss against the top of your head.

The days went on like that, a wobbly line between worry and relaxation, until one evening. You and P were already sprawled out on the couch, tucked under a blanket each as you scrolled through the different streaming services.

”Im telling you, the parent trap is a classic.” Pietra declared, reaching over to grab her glass of wine. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

”It’s a classic you’ve already made us watch like three times.” She laughed at that, nudging you back after you softly kicked her. As you continued bickering over the movie for the night low voices could be heard from the kitchen. Max and Lando had been there for a while, preparing the snacks, but from where you sat in the living room you didn’t notice the tension brewing.

Lando stood with his back against the counter, his jaw tight as he watched Max lean against the opposite side of the kitchen island. Max’s brows were furrowed in worry while Landos eyes were dark, angry.

”Im not saying you have to quit.” Max spoke in a low voice, laced with concern. ”I’m just saying, maybe it’s worth it to consider it? Or at least a break, before things get worse.”

”I don’t need a break.” Lando let out a bitter scoff, shaking his head. ”And I’m definitely not quitting. I just need to push through.”

”Push through what? This season? Next? For how long? You’re exhausted Lando, we can all see it. You’re not sleeping, barely eating-”

”You’re exaggerating. Im fine.”

”You’re not!” Max’s voice rose, the frustration he felt breaking through. ”You’re not fine Lan, stop saying that.”

”You’re acting like I’m about to fall apart Max, it’s not that-”

”Not about to.” Max interrupted him, words hard and snappy. ”You are falling apart. I can see it, I know what that looks like. I’ve been there, you know I have. You think I don’t recognize the signs?” Lando visibly stiffened, hands gripping the counter behind him roughly enough to turn his knuckles white. He was quiet for a moment before speaking again, voice laced with venom.

”This isn’t like that Max. It’s not the same.”

”Isn’t it?” His voice cracked slightly as Max stared at his best friend. ”I know it’s hard to admit that you’re struggling Lando, especially when you’re under as much pressure as you are but please, you have to let us help you. If you keep going like this-“

”Just because you couldn’t handle it doesn’t mean I can’t.” The words cut through the room like a knife, Max flinching as if he actually got cut. Silence settled in the kitchen, save for the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant giggles from you and P out in the living room. When Max stayed silent Lando felt the need to speak again, although his words had lost their harshness. ”I’m not you.”

”No, you’re not.” Max nodded, voice steady but clearly hurt. ”But you’re not that different. You’re not invincible Lando and pretending you are…it’s only going to make things worse.”

”I don’t need a lecture. I am fine, even if you don’t believe it. I’m handling it.”

”Handling it? You call this handling it?” Landos face flushed as Max raised his voice again. ”Snapping at me, shutting out your girlfriend, acting like you don’t have a care in the world-”

”You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lando interrupted, his own voice getting louder too.  ”I know exactly what I’m talking about!” Max shot back, his frustration spilling over. ”I’ve fucking been where you are, I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t afford to stop, like the weight of it all is going to crush you if you admit you need help but come on Lando, snap the fuck out of it. This, what you’re doing now, its self-destruction.” The words hung in the air, heavy and raw. For a moment Landos expression faltered, the anger on his face shifting into somethings else, maybe fear, but just as quickly he masked it again. With a shake of his head he turned his gaze away, crossing his arms over his chest. Max realized he wouldn’t be able to break through Landos walls, not tonight, and with a resigned sigh he stepped back. His lips parted, as if he wanted to say something, but shook his head instead before walking out. Both yours and Pietras heads snapped up as he walked past the living room, having heard the last couple of sentences exchanged between the two men. When Max’s gaze found your worried one he simply shrugged his shoulders.

”What-” you began, not finding the words.

”I don’t know. I tried, I really did but he doesn’t want help.”

When you slowly entered the kitchen a few minutes later Lando was still standing tensely, bracing himself against the counter. He didn’t look up when you entered and the tension radiating of him was almost scary. When you softly spoke his name, taking a step closer, he flinched.

”Don’t.” His voice was sharp enough to make you pause. Swallowing harshly you forced yourself to stay calm, your voice to stay soft.

”I just want to talk.”

”Well I don’t.” He finally lifted his face, glaring at you. The anger in his eyes should’ve made you back down but the unshed tears glossing them had your heart aching instead. ”I don’t need you telling me what to do too.”

”No one is trying to tell you what to do Lando. We’re just worried about you, you’re not doing well-”

”Worried about me. Right. What did Max say to you? That I’m losing it? That I need to quit?”

”No,” you argued, frowning. ”No Max didn’t say anything to me but we’ve all seen you these past months, not to talk about these last days. We’re all-”

”Worried! Yeah I fucking get it.” Your eyes widened as he raised his voice, not being used to him speaking to you like this. ”You’re all looking at me like I’m fucking crazy but I’m not. I don’t need your help, I don’t want your help, so just fuck off for a while and let me deal with it.” You stared at him, heart slowly cracking open. He was unraveling infront of you and you didn’t know what to do, how to help him, and you felt like the worst girlfriend in the world. The worst friend. His words stung, sure, but you didn’t really have time to think about how he hurt you when all you could think about was getting through to him.

”I just want you to be okay, Lando.” Your words were mere whispers, broken by the amount of concern and sadness you felt. Landos eyes flickered away, the veins in his neck popping as he clenched his jaw. For a moment you had hope he might say something, anything, but he stayed silent. You felt your throat tighten, the tears pressing behind your eyes, and you realized you didn’t have anything else to say. Nothing that he would listen to anyway. Instead you whispered how much you loved him before turning and walking away. The living room felt colder when you returned, the sympathetic expression on Pietras face as you sunk down in the couch enough for the tears to start flowing. As you curled up against P your thoughts swirled in a chaotic mess. You felt helpless, as if no matter how hard you tried it was never enough to reach him. He was slipping further and further away and you didn’t know how to pull him back. Maybe it wasn’t just him, you thought, maybe it was you. You replayed the moment in the kitchen, voice soft as you tried to get through to him only for his anger to snap back at you. You’d never seen him like that, so defensive, and it had left you shaken. But more than that, it left you questioning yourself. How could you stand there and call yourself his girlfriend when you couldn’t even get him to listen to you? What were you doing wrong? You wanted to be his anchor, his support, the person who helped him shoulder the weight he carried. But right now, it felt like everything you did only pushed him further away. Now, with P’s arms around you, unsuccessfully shielding you from the cold reality of the evening, you couldn’t stop the creeping sense of failure.

”I don’t know what to do.” You whispered, shoulders shaking with sobs. Pietra and Max exchanged glances over your head, somber expressions on their faces. Neither did they.

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book-lore · 3 days ago

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No shade to the OP on this one because I do know some people who will do this and what I am going to bring up here might be specific to me, but I would still encourage people to be enthusiastic about their horror interests anyway.

I work in a library and thus I have access to EVERY. SINGLE. WEIRD AND MORBID BOOK you've heard of and so very many that you haven't. My reading list is a joke among my colleagues because while some of them are reading the newest Sally Rooney or Jennifer Colgan, I am regaling them (gently, but I'll get to that in a minute) of my favorite books that have featured some truly awful things. And yes, I've told patrons about this too, some to confusion and others who find it very useful. I get that this context is different from someone who might meet at a random social gathering, but if someone is going to meet you with suspicion about what you are reading, and they aren't going to hear you out about what makes it great, they probably won't be a lot of fun to talk to in the long run anyway. My coworkers think it's funny that I read such heavy, depressing topics because I am really friendly and upbeat at work. They also like that if they are looking for something a bit spooky but not going to plunge them into a story that they can't finish, they know I have them covered because of that whole gently telling them thing. I take into account their comfort level and when they ask me about my favorite topics, they know they can trust me not to send them into the deep end.

And maybe some random person has read all this and thought "that's fine in a library but that doesn't work in meeting people in other spaces", actually it does. One of my closest and longest enduring friendships began with someone who insisted they did not like horror stories or movies. They were not interested in the scary stuff, according to them. Over time, they realized that I wasn't going to make their life miserable by making them watch stuff beyond their comfort level and they developed their own taste in the genre, a lot of it from the media they already liked. They just thought those things didn't count. This wasn't always the case for people who I talked to, but the ones that mattered, especially with one of my best friends, it turned out that they weren't so quick to judge.

So talk about your obsessions. Talk about the things that excite you and make you happy. Maybe it won't be for everyone but it's not supposed to be and some people around you are still going to find it fun to listen.

being someone who's passionate about their interests when you're a horror fan really is a special layer of hell because every interaction you have with another person where the conversation turns to your hobbies and personal entertainments is a trial where if you show too much unrepentant glee at getting an opportunity to talk about your preferred subject you get to watch them mentally move you onto their list of untrustworthy individuals to avoid in the future in real time

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betweenstorms · 19 hours ago

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Hi hello, hope you're having a good day Stormy! Your writing is always so good sjdjsjd always makes my day when I have the chance to read em! Not sure if you take requests, so if you don't, you can always ignore this! But I have a pretty interesting prompt that might pique your interest 👀

We all know Simon doesn't show emotions easily, usually the people very close to him will spot out the minute details that give away how he's feeling. Small twitch of the lips, tense of shoulders, that kind of thing. But how about reader who is slightly different, in that they also don't show emotion that well, but it's because they forget to? Sounds confusing I know, but for me I forget my mouth exists and constantly forget to smile at people when greeting them. So for reader, the only way others know how they're feeling is with the tone of their voice.

Hope that isn't too confusing to understand! It's a very weird thing I have, and have not encountered anyone else who share this lmao

Anywayyy have a great rest of your day, and remember to hydrate and eat something! 🖤

- Biscuits 🌺

Hi Biscuits! 🌺 First of all, thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so sorry it took me this long to reply, but I’m excited to let you know that my interpretation of your idea is finally here! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed exploring such a unique and fascinating prompt. I hope you’re having a wonderful day, and don’t forget to hydrate and eat something too! Thank you again for trusting me with your idea. 🖤

You didn’t need to look up to know the weather outside was a dreary shade of grey.

Strangely, it was always just grey here. Overcast skies that seemed to stretch endlessly over the joint military base somewhere in Germany, as though nature itself had resigned to a dull monotony. Not that it bothered you. Weather, much like people, had a way of projecting its moods that you’d long stopped trying to interpret. Clouds could loom ominously, sunlight could break free in radiant streaks, but it all felt the same to you.

Emotions were like that too.

Amorphous, indistinct, slipping through your grasp when you tried to name them. For as long as you could remember, you’d lacked the innate ability most people seemed to have, the quick flick of recognition when faced with a scowl, a smile, or a furrowed brow. You saw the movements of mouths and brows but couldn’t place what they were supposed to mean.

To you, the dance of expressions was no more than a series of movements, the subtle lift of lips or tilt of a head stripped of the weight they were meant to carry. And so, your own face reflected the only truth you understood. Your own face usually mirrored the neutrality of the weather, a blank slate that rarely shifted unless you consciously willed it to.

Price and Gaz were out on a recon mission, leaving Soap, Ghost and you on the foreign base. With no immediate orders other than to wait for their return, the three of you had the rare luxury of downtime. However, despite this, none of you strayed from your usual discipline. The day began at dawn, as always, with the shooting range, gym sessions, or reviewing intel as needed. The quiet efficiency of your routines spoke volumes about the kind of people you all were, professionals through and through. There were no shortcuts at this level, no slacking off. You were the best of the best after all.

Each of you carried that mantle in your own way.

Soap’s energy crackled like a live wire, his easy laughter and constant chatter an antidote to the grim seriousness of your world. Ghost, by contrast, was the anchor—silent, steadfast, a figure carved from stone. And you? You found yourself somewhere between them, detached yet watchful, a quiet observer tethered by a relentless need to prove yourself.

You liked working with Ghost in a way that was difficult to articulate, even to yourself. There was no camaraderie in the traditional sense, no banter or easy companionship, but strangely, there was something deeper, something unspoken.

Your lieutenant moved through the world with the same deliberate calm that you valued in yourself, his every action sharpened by precision and purpose. You respected him for that, his unrelenting dedication, the quiet strength he carried like a shield, and the way his presence seemed to command gravity itself, pulling the air taut whenever he entered a room. And somehow, Ghost felt like a reflection, as though the world had cut both of you from the same cloth. He, too, was a figure cloaked in neutrality, his mask hiding not just his face but the emotions that might lie beneath.

Even with the lull in operations, you didn’t take the task force’s trust for granted. You had fought hard to earn your place here, shedding blood and sweat to prove yourself to Price and the rest of the team. The task force was a strange paradox—these were people you trusted implicitly with your life, but you knew almost nothing about them on a personal level. That was just how things worked. Bonds forged in war zones didn’t require knowledge of favorite foods or childhood dreams. Still, you couldn’t deny a small, nagging curiosity about the men you worked with—especially Soap and Ghost.

Both were enigmas in their own ways.

Soap, all charm and humor, seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, yet you suspected there was more to him beneath the surface. Ghost, on the other hand, was a locked vault, his emotions buried under layers of stoicism and a mask that seemed to shield more than his face.

You had been with the task force for four months now.

It had been an honor to receive Price’s invitation, and though you felt pride in your accomplishments, showing it outwardly had always been a challenge. Ever since childhood, you’d struggled with recognizing and expressing emotions.

Your family had always been understanding, brushing it off as an eccentric quirk, and you’d never sought a formal diagnosis. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel, far from it. You just didn’t show it in the usual ways. Smiling, frowning, or even appearing annoyed often felt like trying to mimic a foreign language without understanding the grammar.

As a child, you were always the odd one, the kid who stared too long, too intently, when other children laughed and cried. Your parents, to their credit, were patient. Your mother, warm and pragmatic, would gently remind you to smile when greeting your grandmother or reassure you when a relative’s frown went unnoticed. “They’re not cross, love,” she’d say, her hands light on your shoulders. “Just thinking. You’re fine.”

But the world wasn’t as kind as your family.

As you grew, the peculiarities of your face invited suspicion, sometimes ridicule. “Why don’t you ever smile?” teachers would ask, their tone suggesting you were withholding something from them, as though joy was a currency you refused to spend. Friends, when you had them, would mistake your silence for coldness, your neutrality for indifference. By the time you reached your teens, you’d grown used to the questions and assumptions, building an armor of pragmatism around yourself. What was the point in trying to explain something you didn’t fully understand?

Somehow, your body simply forgot the script.

You forgot to move your lips when greeting a loved one, forgot to furrow your brows when confusion took hold, forgot to cry when sadness settled heavy in your chest. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel. Feelings bloomed and churned within you like storms on a distant horizon, but they never found their way to the surface. You were a house with locked shutters, and though the light was on inside, it rarely spilled out to illuminate the exterior.

Oddly enough, this trait had become an asset in your line of work.

Pragmatic, objective, and unshaken by emotion, you excelled in high-pressure environments. It was this armor that had served you so well in the military and later in the SAS. Neutrality was an asset here—a foundation upon which precision, discipline, and logic could thrive. Emotions muddied decisions, and in your line of work, clarity was king. When the invitation to join Task Force 141 had come, you’d accepted with quiet pride, though you’d made no effort to show it. Your calm, measured responses made you reliable and efficient, qualities that had undoubtedly caught Price’s attention.

But outside of missions, it created a distance between you and the rest of the team. Building camaraderie required a kind of emotional fluency you didn’t naturally possess, and though you didn’t dwell on it much, it sometimes left you feeling a little isolated.

Four months in, you’d cemented your place among the team.

They trusted you on the battlefield, and that was enough. Personal bonds were optional here, weren’t they? You’d told yourself that many times, but the truth was harder to swallow, trust in war didn’t translate to understanding in peace. Soap’s boisterous banter, Gaz’s easy charm, and Ghost’s impassive stares all existed in a language you couldn’t quite speak.

This morning, however, was different.

Breakfast was normally a solitary affair, a brief respite from the day’s structured chaos. But today, Soap and Ghost had joined you in the mess hall, their presence sat heavy at your periphery. You sat across from them, meticulously working through your meal while Soap tapped his fingers on the table in a rhythm that suggested trouble. Neither of them was eating, and their idle presence felt vaguely unsettling.

It didn’t take long for your suspicion to be confirmed.

“Y’know,” Soap began, his voice lilting with mischief. “Been meanin’ to ask you somethin’, lass. How’s it possible to sit there, day in, day out, with a face that doesn't move? Like a bloody mannequin, you are.”

You raised a brow, a slight, subtle motion that could have meant anything, but didn’t stop eating. Soap took this as an invitation to continue.

“You don’t smile,” he declared, as though it were a groundbreaking revelation. “Or frown. Or even twitch your face half the time. How d’you do that, eh? Are you secretly a robot?”

“I’m not a robot,” you replied, your tone flat but perfectly even.

He leaned back, shaking his head with mock disbelief. “Could’ve fooled me. You’re like a statue, don’t even look annoyed when I’m talkin’ shite at you. Bet you couldn’t make a face to save your life.”

You paused, setting down your fork with deliberate precision.

“I can make faces,” you said coolly.

“Aye, then let’s have a wee go at it. Give us a smile, eh?” Soap’s lopsided grin widened, and he glanced at Ghost, who remained silent but was now clearly paying attention, his hazel eyes flicking toward you. You blinked at them, debating whether it was worth the effort to argue.

Instead, you attempted to comply.

The corners of your mouth lifted in what might have passed for a smile if not for the stiffness in the gesture. It felt awkward, like wearing someone else’s skin.

Soap slapped the table, his laugh booming across the hall. “Creepin’ Jesus, that’s tragic! Like watchin’ a bairn try to wink for the first time.”

“Better than watchin’ you try to think,” Ghost deadpanned, not missing a beat.

Undeterred, Soap straightened up. “All right, fine. Forget smilin’. Show us angry.”

You weren’t bothered by Soap’s teasing, not at all.

Sarcasm and banter weren’t your battlefield, and you didn’t need to win these small wars of wit. If anything, you found his energy oddly endearing, a welcome distraction in the quiet monotony of downtime. So you furrowed your brow and narrowed your eyes slightly, aiming for something approximating irritation. Soap burst into another peal of laughter, throwing his head back and letting it roll out uninhibited.

“Honestly, you’re hopeless,” he howled, tears of laughter glistening in his eyes.

Ghost sighed, setting his tablet down with deliberate care.

“Enough, Johnny.”

Soap held up his hands in mock surrender, his grin lingering like a spark refusing to fade, but your attention had already wandered, your gaze tracing their movements like studying a map of familiar terrain. Soap’s restless energy hummed, his gestures loose and unrestrained, a stark contrast to Ghost’s deliberate stillness, every shift of his body a calculation.

And then his hazel eyes met yours—sharp, unflinching, and so steady it rooted you in place. There was no hostility, no question, only a quiet intensity that made your pulse stutter, a strange, warm stirring low in your stomach that you didn’t dare acknowledge. His gaze held you captive for a beat too long, the air around you heavy, before he turned away, leaving behind a weight you didn’t fully understand but couldn’t quite shake.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice lower now, more measured. “Faces lie. It’s your voice that tells the truth.”

You blinked. “My voice?”

Ghost nodded, leaning back slightly. “You can hear it. If you listen proper. More honest than any forced smile could ever be.”

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say.

Compliments, if that’s what this was, were scarce in your world, as rare as sunlight piercing through storm clouds. From Ghost, they were practically unheard of. Yet his words lingered, carrying a weight that pressed gently against the walls of your chest. A quiet warmth began to unfurl there, blooming softly like a flame coaxed from dying embers, a mixture of gratitude and something unnamed, something that settled in the hollow spaces you hadn’t realized were waiting to be filled.

Soap, visibly startled by the uncharacteristic remark, stared at Ghost as though he’d grown a second head. “Bloody hell, Lt.,” he muttered. “Didn’t know ye had a poetic streak.”

Your lieutenant paid him no mind, his focus already returning to the tablet in his hands, as if the moment had never existed. But you remained still, the weight of his words draping over you like a thick, unshakable cloak. Honest. The word lingered, unfamiliar yet strangely resonant, threading itself into the quiet spaces of your thoughts, where it settled with unexpected ease. Soap broke the moment with a playful nudge to your shoulder.

“Still, you could do with learnin’ a proper smile, eh? Just in case.”

Your eyes rolled, an instinctive motion this time, unbidden but oddly fitting. Soap’s laughter rippled through the room, bright and careless, but it barely registered, a distant echo against the steady hum of your thoughts. Ghost’s words lingered, heavy with meaning, a rare compliment that pressed itself into the quiet corners of your mind with a significance that eclipsed anything you’d ever known. Perhaps, you mused, letting the warmth of the moment settle over you, it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Maybe that was something you could finally understand.

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district4loading · 13 hours ago

Text

Pathetic

Twice Sana x Male Reader

4k words

Content Warning: smut, cheating, mix of degrading and praise

Minors DNI

A/N: First of all I wanna say thank you so much for the support on my latest fic! It motivates me to put out more for you guys and I really appreciate it.

So so so sorry to the person that wanted female reader next, I PROMISE its coming. This is just some smut that was in my drafts, i figured I'd post it while I write the next fic I plan on uploading.

This is cut from a longer fic I wrote a little bit ago. I won't be posting the entire thing because I took alot of inspiration from a different fic I read. Not the smut though, the smut is all my writing so that's why I'm sharing it with you all.

(Also when I mention "Kim Minji" I'm talking about Jiu from Dreamcatcher.)

"You're pathetic"

One bad night was all it took, an argument with your wife over the way you looked at the intern at work earlier that day. You swore you weren't looking because 'no co-workers' was the rule in your open marriage and you would always honor that. Even if it wasn't, you knew that they didn't like each other so it'd be nothing short of betrayal to fuck someone who hated your wife. So no matter how incredible the girl looked in her short dresses and her tiny mini skirts, she was forbidden fruit.

Minji couldn't trust you though, she knew your type and could spot that look in your eye from a mile away. So she waited until you both got home to confront you about it. Of course, you denied even looking the interns way—a lie, might I add—then it turned into a screaming match, the hatred she had for her subordinate much more prevalent in her fiery eyes.

It ended with a slam of your bedroom door and the expectation that you'd sleep on the couch that night, which you did.

That's basically how you spent the following weekend, not talking to each other and only being painfully cold and passive aggressive when you did. You never liked to fight, it always felt so cold and empty, sleeping in different rooms waiting for the other to apologize. Days had passed, still barely any communication as your weekend fight bled into the weekdays. At work you kept things cordial, still not communicating much at all.

Everyone could tell, people at work could tell, there was a certain coldness in the both of you. You two were similar in that way, being extra shitty to your co-workers when things weren't going well at home. That and the fact that you chose to eat alone at lunch rather than with her.

You were in your office spending your lunch eating some ordered fast food while trying to catch up to a deadline when you heard your door open. Assuming it's one of your assistants you say "I'm on my lunch break, come back in thirty" without even looking up from your computer.

In your peripheral vision, you see the person instead step into your office and close the door behind them. Actually looking up this time, you open your mouth to speak, but the words fail to come out. It's the intern, Sana and she looks incredible. Her hair is straight and black today, very different from her usual brown wavy look but she pulled it off all the same. She wore a cute black dress, its material velvet and its collar white with three cute silver buttons down the midline. Then your eyes drift to her legs. Bare, pale and slim, not to mention there wasn't a bruise, scab or blemish in sight.

"Minatozaki, if you're looking for Mrs. Kim, she should be in her office" You throat goes dry, immediately noticing the interns quick move to lock the door behind her, a mischievous grin on her face.

"She's my boss, I know where she is. If I was looking for her, I would've went to her" Sana rolls her eyes and approaches your desk, leaning forwards to place her palms flat against the maple wood, straightening her arms as well. You look above your desktop, meeting her eyes for a split second before hearing alarms ringing distantly in the back of your mind.

You dart your eyes back to the paper you were working on then you gather up the thread of authority you have left to say "I can't imagine there would be anything you'd want from me, we work in completely different departments and.." You make eye contact for a moment "No disrespect but you're just an intern, so if you could please unlock the door and see your way out.." You say it so non chalantly, almost catching her confident demeanor shift at your passive aggressive tone.

Sana chews on her bottom lip for a bit "Oh don't be like that Mr. L/n..." She fake pouts, acting as if she's oh-so upset about your tone and in a way it was sexy. It's the way she drags out the words all slow in that sweet voice of hers, God it's killing you. "I just noticed that Mrs. Kim's been extra bitchy this week... you know, at first I thought maybe she's on her period but then I noticed you two are barely talking to each other. Trouble in Paradise?" She asks, circling around your desk to stand beside you.

You look over with a fake polite grin on your face, making the grave mistake of rolling your chair back and turning it so you could face her. "That's really none of your business"

"Oh please, your open marriage is everybody's business" Sana chuckles for a moment and she leans down, holding herself up on the armrests of your chair. You mean to scoot the chair back as far as it can go, stand up and demand that she leave with your voice stern but instead you freeze. You fucking freeze, realizing how close she is and those ringing alarms from before? They turn into blaring sirens "So, why don't you tell me what happened? Whose fault is it? Yours or hers? She fuck someone she's not supposed to?"

It takes you a second to blink, then you swallow hard as you feel your body begin to burn, that nervous heat in your armpits. You catch a whiff of her perfume and it's fucking heavenly, some warm mix of vanilla and maybe cinnamon. Then her face, her beautiful face, one that could've only been hand sculpted by God himself. Her pink lipgloss only making her plump lips look all the more delectable and—fuck you're staring way too hard. "Listen, you're - you're way too close right now"

Sana leans down even closer and conveniently, if you were to look a few millimeters down, you'd be able to see her cleavage pouring out of her dress. "I'm just as close as I need to be, Sir" She says and there's that smirk again, that fucking smirk, the one that says 'I know i've got this mother fucker right where I want him' Now there's a thumping sound that begins filling your ears and it takes a second for you to realize it's your heart.

"I'm married, you should know this is very inappropriate and- "

A whimper escapes your lips the moment she makes a move to straddle your legs. "You're in an open relationship, so this..." She puts her hands on your shoulders "Is fine"

"We have certain boundaries, certain rules that aren't to be broken.. it's what makes us work"

She pokes her bottom lip out and looks at you through her lashes "Am I a boundary?"

"Of course you are! I know you and my wife aren't exactly the best of friends and to be frank, you're a stuck up, entitled brat who seriously needs a fucking reality check" You tell her and for the first time it actually sounds as if you have some sort of backbone but Sana doesn't flinch, make a face or get upset.

She just tilts her head "If i'm so bad, then why am I still on your lap?" She pauses, then looks down observing exactly how your body has betrayed you "And why are you hard?" She asks with a false-innocent tone, God you hated when she used that voice because she just sounded so stupidly sexy. She leans in closer to you, just by your ear "How about you give me a reality check" Her breath is warm as it brushes past your ear lobe.

Then you lose it, like actually lose it. Your hands find their way to her waist and you squeeze, hard enough that it elicits a sharp gasp from her. You pull her forwards and your bodies are now closer than ever, she leans down, arms wrapped loosely around your neck before your lips are pressed together. It's nothing like a rom-com, where the two main characters kiss and suddenly fireworks go off and it's magical and wholesome. No, this was pure raw lust, so strong that if it had a scent, the room would fucking reek of it.

Your lips move together so messily—sloppily as if you're genuinely trying to absolutely devour each other. Sana shoves her tongue into your mouth and you can taste her lipgloss, sweet strawberries, so intoxicating it all made your vision start to blur like a lucid dream. But this is no dream, this is real and the it's the sinful desire that makes it feel so good.

Now she's rocking her hips, whining and humming into your mouth as you suck each others lips swollen. She kisses your cheek and then deviates all the way down to your neck. You sigh a pleasureful breath "I shouldn't be doing this" You mutter, but make no effort to push her off.

She slides back then works on unbuttoning your shirt. "But you want to, I know you do" Her tongue darts out to wet her lips even more than they already were as she focused on getting your shirt off "God, how many fucking buttons.." She whispers to herself with a hot frustration.

This is wrong. You know it's wrong, hell your mind is yelling at you, sending an army of receptors to stimulate your brain to form a coherent rejection. Something mean enough that'll make this evil seductress leave the your office crying. It doesn't work in the slightest, you can't control the way you grip her waist or the way your head stirs from the feeling of being under her.

Sana finally finishes opening your button up "How'd I know you'd have a perfect body?" She mumbled, allowing her cute black nails to scrape against the hard surface of your chest and torso. Your hands drifted, eager to finally get a feel of those legs you've been leering at since day one. They were even softer than you imagined, you grabbed them softly, refraining from digging your fingernails into them. You just couldn't bring yourself to ruin such beautiful skin just yet.

"Sana" You say her name, low and deep, still not taking your eyes off of the way her thighs seem so tiny in your hands. With one hand still on her thigh, your dominant one slides up her dress and you pull her so called panties to the side. The material feels so thin and lacy, you couldn't even for sure call it underwear. "You're already dripping for me" You announce, sliding the pad of your middle finger up and down her slit, just slightly parting her lips so that it can graze against her clit ever so slightly when you reach the top. Her body jerks as you do, a tight gasp escaping her lips.

She's grinding on the pad of your fingers now and you're just watching—observing how she was so desperate, so needy for you. For you. She needed you to do something so badly but you wouldn't yet. It was frustrating her, of course but she just refused to open her mouth to say something so you do "Go ahead Sana, beg for it, tell me exactly what you want" You say it softly, slight rasp in your voice only adding to her burning arousal.

It takes her a moment before she can actually communicate words that didn't sound like pathetic whines. Still, moving her hips on your now stationary hand she mutters "I d-don't beg." She says it so weakly without even an ounce of conviction in her tone. What a fucking brat. You slip your hand from under her dress and they're on her waist again, then you pull her forwards and sit her directly over the rock hard bulge between your legs. She gasps, wet core directly on your clothed cock and when she moves to grind she realizes she can't because you are holding her still.

"You know, my lunch break will be over in a little under 20 minutes. Then people will be in and out of here like clock work and you?" You pause, taking a second to admire her beautiful face. From those pink pouty lips all the way to those dark and lustful eyes. "You'll be walking out of here un-touched and so wet that it's leaking down your thighs" You chuckle for a moment and shake your head "Is that what you want Sana?"

"mm-mm" She shakes her head, then looks deep into your eyes as if the thought of walking out of your office unsatisfied was the worst possible thing that could ever happen in life. "Please Sir, please - I need you inside of me please, please Sir"

You push her back a bit, then slide your dominant hand back under her dress. Your fingers come back into contact with her core and she's looking at you, her eyes begging-pleading for you to take her right here, right now in your office. Ever so slowly, you push your middle and ring fingers inside. She took them easy, a long whine escaping her lips when you curl your fingers "Fuck - thank you sir, thank you, thank you, thank you—" She's chanting in short breaths, her eyes screwing shut the moment you begin to pump in and out.

It's so wet, the sticky sound echoing throughout the otherwise empty office. Her walls hugged you tightly, only making your cock throb even more in your pants when you realized that you were going to be inside of her. Inside of this perfect fucking pussy. "So fucking tight, baby" You mutter as she mirrors your movements, grinding down on your fingers. She's moaning and whining so loud you think someone will hear, but you don't care anymore. Sana looks amazing like this, like she's made for this. To be on your fingers, rutting like a needy slut on top of you as she tries to get them much deeper than they could go.

"Oh - Fuck yes... just like that sir" She cuts herself off with a gasp "That feels so fucking good" You're allowing the pad of your fingers to press against her g-spot and you can tell its driving her crazy. By the way she's moving her hips and squeezing your arms for leverage, she's fucking loving this. Everything about Sana is just obscene. From the way she curses in that filthy tone to the way she's shamelessly

Now her breathing is erratic, like she's about to have a panic attack or faint, and you can feel her walls massaging you. "Are you gonna cum already?" You mutter almost in awe as you stare at her beautiful face. She was so pretty with her eyes closed and her head hung from the embarrassment of being so needy and horny. Then she was soaking, her arousal running down your fingers.

"I - fuck sir - please" She tries to respond, nodding frantically as she begins moaning unabashedly in your face. Her breath warm and shaky as it escapes her lips "Ah - Please make me cum sir, please make me fucking cum" Sana's begging now, pridefully without any kind of shame even though she was in a really shameful position. Riding her superior's fingers on his lap in his office where there's a big ass window in the door. If someone looked through at the right angle, she would've been caught and she knew that. Hell, she gets off on it.

The stirring in your pants gets more persistent, more impatient and it's fucking aching. So you slide your fingers out and for a moment, Sana's still whining and grinding, her fucked out brain still not registering the loss of touch yet. You grab her legs and stand up, then you place her on the desk, right next to your computer and you begin unzipping your pants. "Oh fuck yes daddy please give me your cock" She bites her bottom lip and gives you a look and it almost makes you growl.

Your pants are at your ankles along with your boxers and you're pulling her closer, her legs loosely wrapping around your waist. "You're a real fucking slut" You grab her face, squeezing her cheeks so her lips sort of smush together. In your grip, she nods the best she can, a hot 'mm-hmm' leaving her throat. There's a moment you take to just look into her eyes, the way her eyebrows were upturned, the look of pure fucking want in her eyes. God it was ruining you.

"I can be your personal slut if you'd like, sir" She says it like she's pleading after you let go of her face. Then you hike her dress up a bit more and you're finally lining yourself up. You press the fat tip against her entrance and she winces and looks down. She's holding onto your arms to brace herself "Fuck, it's so big - want you to fucking stretch me"

God she's so filthy, in the way she speaks, moves and stares at you it's unbelievable and you fucking love it. You know you should hate it, you should be disgusted with her. Practically throwing herself at a married man all to spite his wife, her boss at that. You should fucking hate her for the things she's said to Minji and the fact that she hates her. But you just can't get over her body, the way she walks, the way she talks, the way she does fucking anything with that pretty face of hers.

You slide your cock into of her entrance ever so slowly, immediately feeling the tight grip of her warm walls. "Holy shit" You groan and Sana's gone silent, her jaw slack as she looks up and directly into the white light in the ceiling with her eyebrows furrowed. "So - fucking - tight" Your teeth are clenched as you're grunting finally making it all the way to the hilt.

Then you stop for a moment, pulling her even closer "You're so fucking deep i - please fuck me sir, please" You do exactly as she says, pulling your hips back just to thrust all the way back in and she lets out a moan so guttural that it had to have been stuck the back of her throat. Then you're in more of a rhythm, fucking the tight, smooth hole that she's just letting you have. "That's right - fucking use me - oh God"

She's more than just enjoying herself and you're both moaning way louder than you should be. But everything's just too much, because you're a thousand degrees, sweaty and tousled. You can't smell it but you know the room reeks of that pungent aroma, one that could only be recognized for what it was—what it could only be. Sex.

You lean over, resting your head in the crook of her neck so that your lips can come into contact with the salty flesh. "You feel so fucking good - God" You mumble on her skin, licking, kissing, sucking all to make everything feel all the more overstimulating to her. It was something you never thought you'd ever say, but she felt the best out of almost any girl you've ever been with. There was something uniquely warm, tight and moist about her that you've never felt before.

"Yeah - Yeah - Yeah - please don't stop sir, please keep fucking me like that." You can't get enough of her, you wouldn't even stop if you wanted to. Then you're reaching your hand down, tongue still licking her neck as you press your fingers against her swollen clit. The poor thing was practically begging for attention before you got to it. You circled your fingers around it in a way which matched your thrusts.

Now Sana was really seeing stars, like actual stars, her vision even going black at some points. You knew you had her when you first felt her legs begin to shake, then the rhythmic pulsing inside. You lightly bite her ear "There you go baby, cum for me" You whisper so hotly that it's got her right on the edge.

"Yeah" She whispers, her voice shaking breathily and then she gets louder "G-Gonna - Fuck" It's erratic, the way she's moving so rigidly and the insane grip you have on her waist isn't doing any favors. "You're gonna make me cum, you're gonna make me fucking cum" Sana's nodding her head.

Then her back is arched, pushing her chest into yours and she's toppling over the edge. Her moans beautifully silent, caught in her throat as her body stutters and shakes erratically. "That's a Good girl, Sana" You encourage her, knowing that she'd love the praise.

Once she recovers, you don't slow down, in fact you're speeding up almost choking as you now recognize how pent up and sensitive you are. Like you could explode any fucking minute. You know it and Sana does from the way you're heaving and panting like a beat dog. The way your face is red, and then the serious concentration. She squeezes her legs tighter around your waist "Please cum in me sir - wanna feel you filling me up" She moans erotically.

You shiver at this, hearing the words come out of her mouth so fucking easily.. "I can't" Are the only words you can mutter without your voice breaking, it's almost humiliating. But she wants it, she wants it so bad.

"Yes you can" She wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you close, her mouth near your ear now. "Come on daddy, breed me. Mark your fucking territory" she eggs you on in that perfect voice of hers and you almost fucking malfunction. This girl is so dangerous. You mean to pull out, you really do but all of a sudden you can't make yourself stop when you begin shooting your load inside. Fucking it deep inside of her womb, like really deep and she's moaning so loud as if she's the one cumming. She's getting off on it.

The two of you stay like that for a bit, God knows how long with your heads empty and your bodies sweaty. When you finally pull out, your cock already soft. Sana giggles a bit, then pulls her panties back over her raw cunt and she slowly slides herself off of your desk. You're pulling your pants up, fixing your belt and then your button up as she tidy's up her dress. "I shouldn't have done that" You sigh, immediately feeling the regret hit you like a truck now that the lust has withered away.

"Come on, it's not like your marriage is exclusive"

You sit in your chair, leaning forwards as you bury your hands in your face, smelling Sana on them. "We have fucking rules Sana, and i broke them all" You're thinking about what you'll tell Minji, how badly this'll probably fucking hurt her. Way to go, you went ahead and fucked a load into the only girl your wife hates. The one you promised that she didn't have to worry about. Sana opens her mouth to say something else but you don't want to hear it "Please get out and... don't tell anybody about this"

"Okay" She says, but she says it sarcastically, like she doesn't take you seriously. You get up from your chair as she puts her hand on the door knob "I'm fucking serious, Sana. Nobody, not your friends, not our co-workers and certainly not-"

"Mrs. Kim?" She finishes your thought, tilting her head. "You're pathetic, let go of me" She scoffs then snatches her arm from your hands then continues to exit your office. You exhale deeply, and you punch the wall, not hard enough to leave a hole but hard enough to leave a bruise. So you immediately regret it, shaking the hand you used. Sana was right, you were pathetic.

"This can't happen again" You tell yourself out loud as if it'll make your words true.

It doesn't.

#twice #kpop gg #kpop smut #girl group smut #minatozaki sana #sana smut #smut #twice sana #kpop idol #sana twice #kpop idol imagine

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nightunite · 11 hours ago

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slides u twenty dollars can we consider jealous johnny if he sees reader is only that avoidant with him and no one else… i don’t want to rush ahead in case you have something else planned but like, johnny hearing that there are rumors one of the baron’s newest maids is pregnant and the timing just lines up a little too well 😵‍💫😵‍💫

-noona bc tumblr refuses to let me send asks from sideblogs

Hiiiiiiiii Noona 💖

Thank you for the twenty, I'm gonna spend in on blind boxes, it's not an addiction, I can stop anytime I want. Spoilers concerning reader's pregnancy under the read more:

Gonna answer only the first part of this and save the second half because I don't wanna give away too much just yet. I will say that at the point this piece of the story takes place, our dear reader is indeed aware she's pregnant and has informed Konig, who insists on her having someone with her when she goes out into town. Anything could happen, and he fears the idea of her falling and harming herself or the baby, or having to do so much heavy lifting. They're just on friendly-ish terms though for now, as this isn't by the time reader has started showing, so no rumors have started flying yet. Also, curious how one section of this will be interpreted. Johnny exhaled as he stepped out of the shop, breath a thick fog in front of him as the winter chill set to work stinging his cheeks. Snow had fallen last night and stayed, keeping the roads slick. The thick woolen cap he wore snug around his head crushed down his signature hairstyle, but he'd rather have flat hair than a raw scalp. He rubbed his gloved hands along his wrists to fend off the shivers, the door behind him shutting with a clatter and the ring of bells as he moved along the walkway towards his next stop a few streets over. Four stores in, and he had yet to find what he was looking for. He wasn't entirely sure what that was, mind you, only that whatever it was remained elusive. It let him move about town all the same to get out of his house which had felt odd these past few weeks. Too loud, too quiet, achingly lonely yet also too many people nearby setting his nerves on edge. Impossible to get anything done, his irritation grew erratic like his thoughts. All he wanted was a moment of peace, a chance for his ever-restless thoughts to let him breathe lest he take it out on his staff.

Try as he might to deny it to himself, he knew why this happened. She wasn't there anymore. Packed up and left in the wee hours of the morn, when the fog was thick and the duchy silent as a graveyard. Didn't bother to inform him, merely the head maid whom had given him a look that said he was a fool. Shortly thereafter, word had gotten back to him that she had taken up a position in the Baron's home. He'd had to take a swift walk to handle that knotted up wad of string wrapped tightly in his gut.

If he were an honest man, he would say she hadn't truly been there even longer. It made his throat close up, the way she seemingly wasted away in his halls, sunken in on herself like a sunflower wilting in the frost. Like a cold snap at the start of winter, suddenly she had no time for him. Always quick to pull away from him, to find some task to do that kept her preoccupied from the start of the day until well past it. Hesitation whenever he asked her what was wrong, a momentary pause before she would tell him nothing was the matter, addressing him as 'my lord', as though the name she had permission to use would not escape her mouth.

Eyes always downcast, fixed on the floorboards or over his shoulder when she would bring herself to pretend to look him in the eye. Truth be told, he preferred it in some ways, the relief of not having that direct connection. At least then he didn't feel the weight of his inadequacy of caring for her, like a verdict cast down upon him. This way he could pretend that he was the man he was supposed to be. He stopped attempting to touch her in any way when he caught how she tensed, braced herself for contact. The kissing followed shortly thereafter, her strained smiles and broken laughter making him feel worse, like he never should have even tried. Anything further wasn't even on the table, and the thought of even broaching the subject made his insides churn. And so, he stopped. Filled his time with the other maids, though that never lasted long either. They weren't right; laughter too loud or high pitched, smile too far to one side, hair the wrong thickness between his fingers. It left him feeling further unease, as though he kept going down the wrong hallways in a maze that he had no chance of escaping. Like a picture set at the wrong angle, or shoes that are a size too small. It pinches him, makes something inside him pace like a beast in a cage, keeps him up at night. He knows what felt right, what kept him sated and content in his days. Eyes that gazed at him like he was her salvation, her sun, always turning towards him with a smile that made his own lips turn up. Soft hands even after hard work, rubbing over the calluses of his palms and stroking over any scars, pressing gentle kisses to them. Laughs and squeals that made his heart race like a schoolboy, cheeks flooded red with the desire to keep her that way, keep all of her attention on him. Even now as he turns the corner, he feels a small smile coming up from those memories, only to freeze awkwardly on his face.

Across the street there she walked, a small box wrapped in her free palm. He hadn't anticipated her being out, assuming she had remained indoors lest the chill finally do her in. He felt his breath leave his lungs at the sight while his blood raced at a fever pitch, heart beginning to hammer. She looked beautiful, the way she had before whatever had occurred at the duchy. Cheeks fuller than he had seen since this past fall, eyes bright and a small smile on her face, she looked radiant to him. Some piece of him, deep in his soul perhaps, relaxed in relief at the sight of her hale and hearty. Another part of him, a part of who he is as a man, feels the stirrings of bitterness at the fact she seems to flourish again once out of his reach. But he couldn't help the way he wanted to grit his teeth and snarl at who stood at her side. Baron Konig, the man who had poached her from him. Still draped in his silly shroud, he was covered head to toe, a thick peacoat covering him and sturdy boots making contact with the ground, clicks following. Even with the coat in the way, Johnny's eyes narrowed at the way her hand was tucked into the crook of his arm. Why does that bastard have the right to touch her? He must have said something under that hood, for she looked up at the Baron and let out a chuckle, breath pluming out for a moment before she responded with something that he nodded in return to. In his free arm he held several packages, looking for all the world as though they weighed nothing. To a man of that size, they probably didn't.

Johnny felt the acidic tendrils of jealousy lance through him, searing him from the inside out while he fought the need to bare his teeth and tear into the man. He couldn't help it, truly he couldn't. That should have been him with her, guiding her down the street while she looks up at him and laughs at whatever he tells her. Actually no, he thought, she shouldn't be out here at all. She should have been back in the duchy with him, playfully seated on his desk, fire roaring and keeping them both toasty while he pretended to work. He would reach out and cup her face, stroking the apple of her cheek, while she would lean in and reward him with a kiss for his hard work that day. A game they had played before, the two of them wrapped up against the bitter outside world, a secret shared between their hearts.

Why does she not look at him that way? What did he do to harm her? What must he do to have her return to him? Just look at him again, please. Even just a passing glance, something to show that she still recalls who he is, who he can be to her.

Words of adoration and touches that feel like absolution dissipate from his eyes, Johnny swallowing a small noise behind his teeth when he sees how she leans into the Baron so she can stretch slightly higher and say something in his ear. Never before has Johnny wished to be lesser in society so as to step forward and take her hand and pull her home, show everyone who she is meant for. Unable to bear the sight any longer he hunches his head into the collar of his coat and swiftly turns around. His attempts at finding peace have only led him to further turmoil.

As he heads back to his carriage, his thoughts circle over and over, ruminating and digging furrows into his sanity.

He doesn't deserve this, none of this. Not with a woman like that, not with her. When he returns to the house, he has letters to write.

#baron konig au

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cringefaecompilation · 2 days ago

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okay since i have felt i've been really negative i am going to be positive and talk about something near and dear to my heart. fanart redesigns!

this design of braius by @phi-guy is delightful, including the mustache variant. i'm not a big fan of him as a character, but this is a great compromise with the holstein patterns on his humanoid face that previously left a few furries disappointed.

fcg is a very tough character to stylize, given the whole... aeormaton of it all and that they're so intricately designed that any attempts to move any part of their body around tend to make things they do in-game not make sense. the blades of grass emblem being revealed as bloody fingerstreaks, for one. but this design by hugo cardenas strikes a good balance between canon and fanon where you don't have to sacrifice accuracy for imagination or vice versa

imogen sadly doesn't receive a lot of redesigns in fandom and even got hate (?!) for people putting glasses on her. but for the people that do a little more than that, i would have to give my favorite design to @rokiie! it's subtle, but i love that she's musclechubby and mixed, and her curly hair and ponytail is adorable. @jadequarze also has a nice looking mog, though theirs is more angular than bulky.

ashton is another character hard to redesign... because his original design is so damned complex it feels like a downgrade to change it. so not a lot of people do and focus more on his outfit and body type. so that's why these two, by @magscherer and @ladysantos are so great! little tweaks that make him fat or simplify him are so nice

@lyadrielle has the most complex chet redesign i've ever seen. i love how in-depth it is, and even if full head of hair chet isn't canon, i still adore the fluffiness of it. also quick shout out to @colealexart giving chetney a mustache because i love it.

conversely from her girlfriend, people love to redesign laudna, if not just to pump up her creepy factor over her "bizzarely beautiful" factor. @astoriacolumnstaircase and @paragonraptors do this in a fun-scary way! i love how spindly they make her, like a praying mantis. for a more scary-scary way, @cpprcoyote's laudnas are stunningly creepy and lovely. @galacticjonah's take on her is also very cute with her billowing fabrics surrounding her like a security blanket. good stuff!

being the mixed orym truther guy, naturally i love art that makes him a man of color, and this art by @therosecleric hits the mark for how i see him in my head. i love his curls, his jaw, and his strong nose, and it's always good to give him muscles in a way that don't make him look like a tween who powerlifts. the previously mentioned @magscherer's art of him is a bit more hobbit-y but still scratches the same itch. love me a brown eyed orym. @jennydolfen also gets points for her terrific hobbit/halfling proportions

@jam-etc's critical role redesigns might not be for everyone, but i love 'em all. dorian here looks so friendly and seeing his native culture depicted so overtly in his outfit is awesome! no whitewashed dorians allowed. on the same token, here's a repeat of @therosecleric's dorian art because it also is great to see him with curly hair and a wide nose. this design by @caitmayart with dark cloudy speckles on his body is incredibly nice as well.

and of goddamn course fearne gets the most art. it's fearne! there are so many good pieces of her i could not choose one. i love ones that play up her goat-y nature, like @willowbirds, @rainbow-roll-art, and @phi-guy again. and i love fat fearnes, like these two by @marmadelin and @countslimeula. this one by @maluspumilaa is so beautiful, making her a little more fey and extremely animalistic. all fearnes is good fearnes

#🍃#critical role #critrole #APOLOGIES FOR THE LONG POST

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naughtyneganjdm · 2 days ago

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Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 8

Summary: After an unplanned day at work, Y/N comes home to find a surprise waiting for her.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/155580502

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, severe angst, smut, public sex, unprotected p in v, depression, emotional characters, etc.

Notes: This is up later than normal. I was busy tonight. Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate! There is a nod to the TLOU games in this chapter.

What was supposed to be a vacation from work for a few weeks didn’t last very long. Today when Y/N’s boss called her asking her to come in and help with something, she was eager to go in for Carol. It wasn’t like Y/N was incredibly busy and money was money. It also gave her an extra day off somewhere in the future. It was unfortunately a long day and Y/N was just eager to come home at the end of the day. Both the children and Negan knew that she would be working, but tomorrow she would be spending it with them. Just so she could get some rest.

Even though it was something she had grown accustomed to over the last few years, coming home to a silence felt strange. Especially since she really hadn’t been alone in the last few weeks. Truthfully? She didn’t like it. Even though people always say they enjoy that alone time, for her she just liked being with someone. After four years of being lonely, the noise was just something she looked forward to.

Heading upstairs, she knew that she should have eaten something, but sleep just sounded so much better. Pushing the door open to her bedroom, a surprised sound fell from her throat when she saw that something was laid out over the top of her bed. Stepping forward, a lump grew in her throat at the brand-new dress that was before her. Involuntarily smiling, she dragged her fingers across the material. Next to it was a typed out note and a peony. Picking up the note, she started to read it with a warmth flooding into her face.

Put the dress on. A car will pick you up at eight. Don’t ask where you’re going. Just trust me.

With a smirk, she grabbed the peony and brought it up to smell the flower. This had to be another one of Negan’s elaborate date night ideas. It was completely unexpected, but charming considering everything. Even though they both agreed that they would wait until tomorrow to get together, Negan was always spontaneous like this.

Setting aside the note and the flower, she lifted up the dress to take a look at it. It was a flowing red gown that took her breath away. A long time ago she had seen a dress like this that she had wanted, but decided not to buy it because it was on the more expensive side. Also, she really didn’t have something nice to wear it to. Bringing it close to her chest, Y/N looked to the time to see that eight wasn’t too far away. If she wanted to look nice, she would have to start getting ready now.

Taking a quick shower, she dried her hair and did as she was told putting on the dress, her makeup and some of her nicest jewelry. After getting ready, she waited downstairs wondering if she should call Negan, but instead waited. By eight there was a car waiting for her just like the note said. Getting into the car felt uncomfortable since it was a stranger that was driving her around. Silence filled the car and even though she trusted Negan, it was hard not to speak.

Should she ask the driver where they were going? She wasn’t used to things like this. But she kept quiet and just trusted the process. When they reached the local high school it confused her. The driver stopped in front of the school and it made her let out an uncomfortable sound.

“You’re supposed to go into the school,” the driver instructed looking back at her over his shoulder and it had her swallowing down hard. Sliding across the backseat, she worked opened the door. “Have a good night.”

“You too,” she gave the driver a thanking nod, closing the door once she got out. Moving up the long walkway to her old high school made her curious as to where this was headed. Entering the school brought back old memories for her. Even though she now was coming to the school as a parent for Elizabeth, this was still the school she grew up at. Usually the school would be locked up right now considering they were on holiday, but here it was lit up and welcoming for her to walk through it.

Stopping at the display cases, she looked over the trophies that were there. Gazing over the old photos of when she attended the school made her smile. The young photos of both Joel and Negan on their perspective teams drew her attention. After taking a few minutes, she wondered where she was meant to go until her eyes fell to a piece of paper that was taped to the wall. In a bold font the words ‘this way’ were written on it with an arrow pointing down the hallway.

Following the route, Y/N was amused that it led her through the hallways of the school with each sign directing her where she was meant to go. By the time she made it to the school’s planetarium, it made her head tip to the side. Opening the doors, she stepped inside to see that it was empty except for something that was on the desk at the front. There was a bouquet of flowers along with another typed out note.

Unhurriedly moving across the room, she reached for the note and grew curious with the instructions.

Sit in the front row, middle seat. Don’t move. Watch the show.

Putting the note back on the desk, she looked around the empty room again. There was no sign of Negan. No sign of anyone really. Exhaling loudly, she did as she was told and sat down in the middle seat of the front row. Suddenly the regular lights went out and it was completely pitch black. It had been so long since she had been in this room. It was always something that she liked doing when they went here for school when they were younger. Leaning back in the seat, she lifted her head up waiting. It took a moment for the lights of the planetarium to be projected up onto the ceiling, but when they did it drew an awe from her.

They had definitely updated it since she had been here. All of the lights were bright and in a much higher quality which was no surprise. It had been a long time since she was last in this room. There was a chill in the room making her realize that she was genuinely not used to wearing dresses like this.

At this point, she half expected Negan to come into the room and join her, but she was alone for quite some time.

“I thought I’d tell you a story,” a voice spoke up causing a chill to flood her body. Looking back, she let out a shocked breath to see that two rows back Joel was sitting at the end of it. With the dimly lit room she could tell that his hair was slicked back and he was wearing a red dress shirt and a black suit jacket. “Don’t look at me, keep watching.”

“Joel?” she spoke his name with goosebumps developing over her arms. This wasn’t at all what she thought was happening. Yet it now suddenly made sense why the notes were typed and not written. “What is this?”

“Listen to me. Please,” Joel begged of her, his southern drawl growing deeper. There was something in the way that his dark eyes stared out at her that made her heart sink. “Hear my story and then if you want to ask questions, you’re free to do so.”

“Joel,” she said his name again with a frown flooding his features. Sighing loudly, she turned back around in her seat and leaned back to stare up at the ceiling of the planetarium again. Even though she didn’t know where this was headed, she listened to Joel.

“Thank you,” Joel’s voice was deep with him trying to speak loud enough and clear enough for her to still hear him. “I want to tell you the story about the first time I fell in love.”

Closing her eyes, she so badly wanted to stop him, but instead she did as he asked and kept quiet, “This story starts with me moving to this town. You know that I grew up in Texas. I never wanted to leave. Tommy and I were so mad when we had to. We didn’t want to move. We liked where we lived, but our daddy insisted that it was what was best for business. When we moved, I was pissed. I had friends that I was leaving. A place where I felt like I belonged. The first day we moved to this town, this woman came with her daughter to introduce themselves. When my mother brought me to the door to meet them, the woman’s daughter immediately blushed when she saw me. I was grumpy of course. I didn’t want to be there, so I wasn’t in the mood to be civil with strangers.”

“I know this story,” she pointed out having Joel scoff when she interrupted him. She lived this story and she knew what the outcome was. Clutching tightly to the arms of the seat, she curled her fingers around them and didn’t know why this was drawing chills down her spine.

“Not the whole story,” Joel corrected her with a grunt. “You’re supposed to stay quiet and watch the show. Listen.”

“Yes sir,” she huffed, leaning more comfortably back in her seat wondering if she would be able to get through this whole thing. This was already more than Joel spoke for the most part which was certainly different for him.

“Anyways, this girl had a crush on me from the start. I knew it. I always knew it. Every time I’d go outside to throw around a ball I could see her down the street trying to do things to impress me. And she’d show up asking me if I wanted to hang out with her and her friend. Of course, she was younger than me, so I thought I’d look stupid hanging out with a younger girl. So I’d deny her every time,” Joel recalled of his youth when he first met Y/N when they were children. Every day she would show up trying to get him to hang out, but he’d always say no. “But that girl? She never gave up. Every day she was outside, she’d try to get me to play with her and the other children. But I didn’t want to get close to the people here. I was so goddamn convinced that if I was brooding enough that my parents would take me back to where we lived before. But that girl? Even though my little brother was three years younger than her, she had no problem allowing him to hang out with her and her friends. See, back then? She was the most popular girl on the block because she was the most badass, coolest girl around. All the boys wanted to be friends with her. She played sports, knew them just as much as the boys did.”

Biting down on her bottom lip, Y/N tried to keep herself quiet while Joel told their story from his point of view, “And when my little brother started getting bullied by the dickhead living in our block, I didn’t know it at first. When I finally saw that shit stain knocking my brother off his bike, I was fully prepared to kick his ass, but that girl? She was outside playing hockey with her friends and saw it too. Beat me to it when it came to kicking that bully’s ass with her hockey stick. I was impressed. Scared. But impressed.”

“You didn’t fall in love with me then,” she noted remembering distinctly of their relationship through the years.

“You’re not a very good listener,” Joel’s Texan accent grew thicker making her laugh with him hushing her. “Anyways! That day I’m pretty sure that girl fell in love with me because I agreed to finally start hanging out with her and her friends. If she was willing to kick someone’s ass for Tommy? She was good enough to hang out with. So I became a trio with her and her best friend. For years I knew she had the biggest crush on me. It’s not that she told me she had a crush on me, but it was the way she looked at me. I never acted on it because I truthfully was scared of her. What if I pissed her off and I became her next target?”

“Joel,” she grumbled under her breath hearing his thick laugh in return.

“I’m serious! You scared the hell outta me. It was better to have you as a friend than as an enemy,” Joel declared rocking slightly in his seat watching her from afar with her still staring up at the showing of the stars above them. “But now? I’m gonna jump ahead and tell you about the time I fell in love for the first time. You see, I wasn’t the smartest student around. I was actually…kinda lazy. Instead of focusing on my education, I focused on my athletic and musical talent to get me ahead in life. For the most part? It worked. That friend of mine was in the same class as me. Even though we were best friends out of school? Sometimes I was kind of a dick since she was younger than me. So I’d sit by my friends when I reckon I should have always been spending my time with her. But one day in class, they turned off the lights and that girl? She was sitting in the front row, right in the middle. There was a light that was reflecting from the lights above that drew my attention to her. And for the first time when I looked at her, I felt my heart stop. She was smiling and it took my breath away seeing her like that. I was in the third row, on the end and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. All I wanted to look at was her.”

A loud exhale fell from her lips with her lowering her head down with Joel sweeping his thumb in over his bottom lip, “I thought it was a fluke. Something that wasn’t gonna happen again because I had never felt that way about her in all the time we had been friends. But after that moment in this very classroom, every time I saw her she took my breath away. My heart would race. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I didn’t understand why it took me that long to finally see that she was the most beautiful girl that I had ever laid my eyes on.”

Her breathing grew louder when Joel confessed to her something she had never heard before from him with this story, “I thought I lost my chance with her because I thought she had feelings for another boy, but when I approached her at a party and I kissed her…I felt fireworks. I had kissed other girls before, but when I kissed her? I wish I could describe it. It felt like my heart stopped and at the same time like it was pounding outta my chest.”

Leaning forward in his seat, Joel rest his arms against the chair that was in front of him while he watched her listening to him, “After that moment? I knew that I needed to have her in my life always. And then when we slept together the first time? I should have made it more romantic, but I could tell by the way she looked at me that she was everything right in the world. There was always a piece of me missing, but with her? She made me whole. And after that moment? I couldn’t stand to be separated from her. Every moment I spent without her, I was in agony. That’s how I knew I met the love of my life because every minute I spent away from her I was counting the seconds until she was in my arms again. She was everything that was perfect, pure and right in the world. And me? I was a fucking mess. Which is why I always thanked the world for bringing her to me because I wasn’t used to things going right for me. When the world fell apart for me with my parents dying, she was my rock. She was my strength and she made me realize what true love really was. We didn’t mean to get pregnant, but it happened. It was scary. It was sudden. But we took it on together.”

Getting up from his seat, Joel moved to the front row with her and sat beside her, “When Ellie was born, I was blown away that I could make something so perfect. But then again? She was part of you.”

Outstretching his fingers, he stroked them over the top of her hand seeing that tears were burning at her eyes, “And when we got married, no matter how scary the world seemed at that young I knew I’d be okay because I had you by my side. Every night after Ellie was born, I’d always wake up worried about the both of you. Everything else that was good in my life left me. So I’d check on you and her because I loved you both so much.”

Against his fingertips Joel could tell that Y/N was tremoring trying to avoid getting emotional, but she still was, “And then we had a beautiful boy. We were in love with two amazing miracles that came from our love. I don’t know what happened, but I let my past cloud my judgement. I had everything any man could wish for. And I messed up. I screwed up real bad.”

By now she was crying again, but he hooked his fingers with hers tightly in a supportive squeeze, “I let you down and I’m sorry. I thought at the time I was making the right choice, but I miss you. I miss us. I miss our family. Without you? I don’t feel whole. When I had my family, I was proud. I was a man that had everything. The perfect wife. Beautiful children.”

Joel’s words lingered when he turned in the seat, reaching out with his other hand to press his fingertips in over the side of her face, “I love you Y/N. I love you so much. And I miss everything about my life before. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I made a horrible mistake. I want us to be together. I want us to fix things. And I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. When I lost everything with my parents, you pulled me out when I was drowning. You saved me. And you were the only person that ever felt like home to me.”

What really got her was not only was she crying at this point, but so was he, “The children want us to get back together. And I know you still love me.”

Closing the distance between them, Joel’s lips covered hers and he could taste the saltiness of her tears against his lips. Brushing his lips against hers again and again, Joel attempted to show her with everything that he had how much he loved her.

Unhurriedly, he pulled his lips away from hers and motioned her to wait for a moment. Standing to his feet, he watched her eyes follow his movements. Bending over, he picked up the guitar that she had bought him all those years ago for their anniversary. Spotting what he was holding had her breathing growing uneven and she lowered her head.

“What are you doing?” she stammered trying to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. Motioning her to wait, Joel dragged the chair that was in front of the desk out. Carefully lowering down into the seat, Joel strummed at his guitar a little and cleared his throat.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this. Y’know. Play in front of someone,” Joel explained tapping his fingers against the guitar slightly. “Just alone to myself.”

Keeping her eyes locked on Joel, she heard the cords that he started playing having it take her breath away. It had been so long since she had last heard Joel play the guitar. After things it seemed like he wrote it off completely, but it was always one of the things that drew her to Joel.

“If I ever were to lose you, I’d surely lose myself. Everything I have found dear, I’ve not found by myself,” Joel seemed to stumble a bit over his words while he tried to gather himself and sing for her the song that he was drawn to when he thought of her. “Try and sometimes you’ll succeed to make this man of me. All my stolen missing parts, I’ve no need for anymore.”

Swallowing down hard, it felt like the room was spinning around her while he continued to sing in his deep rumble of a southern drawl, “I believe and I believe ‘cause I can see our future days. Days of you and me.”

Bracing her hands over the sides of the chair she was in, she felt her heart racing and her lips parting, “Back when I was feeling broken, I focused on a prayer. You came deep as any ocean. Did something out there hear? All the complexities and games, no one wins but still they’re played. All the missing crooked hearts, they may die but in us they live on.”

Sitting forward, she felt like the breath was leaving her lungs when Joel started singing the chorus again. There was a whole lot of crying with her body shaking, “When hurricanes and cyclones raged, when wind turned to dirt to dust, when floods they came or tides they raised, even closer became us. All the promises at sundown, I’ve meant them like the rest. All the demons used to come ‘round, I’m grateful that they left.”

Tightening her grip around the arms of the chair, Y/N felt lost in herself with her body tremoring, “So persistent in my ways, hey angel, I am here to stay. No resistance, no alarms. Please, this is just too good to be gone.”

As Joel came to the final chorus, Y/N pushed up from the chair and started to make her way through the planetarium toward the door with Joel fumbling through the chords, “Hey!”

“What Joel?” she turned on her heel, throwing her hands up in the air with Joel setting the guitar against the desk. Sobbing made her feel pathetic, but that’s what she was doing right now. “What is this Joel?”

“I was just trying to show you how much I loved you,” Joel reasoned with her stepping through the room, holding his hands out to plead with her not to run off. “I love you. So fucking much.”

“You are fucking with my emotions so bad,” she explained to him, her words broken with her shaking her head. “Do you know how long I waited for you to do something like this? How I prayed that you would realize that you didn’t want that divorce? Do you know how much it broke my heart that I made you miserable?”

“I made a horrible, awful mistake,” Joel stressed, still crying himself stepping before her with a frown. Joel wasn’t much of a crier, so the fact that he was crying? That took her breath away and surprised her. “I was wrong. I know what I did and I understand why you are feeling the way you are, but we’re soulmates you and I. Destined to be together.”

“I loved you so much. I tried so hard to make you happy because I knew what life stole from you,” she whimpered with Joel taking slow steps toward her. Shakily reaching out to grab his hands with hers, Joel’s thumbs stroked over the backs of her hands with him nodding. “Life was hard for me too Joel. I didn’t want this life when I was younger, but I grew to love this life because I love you so much. And if I had you, I knew I’d be okay because you were everything to me. I gave everything to make you happy.”

“I know you did,” Joel acknowledged with a firm nod of his head. “I was blind to things then, but now I see everything you did for me. No one supported me and did for me what you have. We were the perfect couple. Even this town saw it. I’ve never been good with my emotions, but with you I had them. I just closed myself off again like I did growing up. I never got to mourn the loss of my parents or the loss of my future. I had to step into the role of dad with Tommy when I was eighteen. I had to be the strong one, the cold one. Cus’ Tommy was the one that was the younger one. He’d be the one growing up without his parents. Cheated from a life that I did get. Then I became a dad not long after. I lost myself and I hurt you.”

“I’m sorry Joel,” she shook her head, attempting to leave only to have Joel reach out to pull her to him. Having her fall in against his chest, Joel palmed in over the side of her face drawing her lips to his again. Passionately he kissed her, his fingers curling around the back of her neck with each caress growing hungrier between them.

“Please, I love you so much,” Joel stammered against her lips, walking forward to lead her toward the wall. Pressing her back against it, Joel was eager to kiss her as intimately as possible. With her melting in against him, he could tell that she was falling for it further.

Allowing his kisses to tamper off over her jawline had her palming down over the center of his chest. Sliding his hand down over the side of her body, Joel took his time calming her knowing that she was emotional. Pressing his body in closer to hers, Joel swept his fingers down over the exposed part of her shoulder and pulled back slightly. Hovering his lips over hers, he knew that she was still emotional with him drawing his thumb across her bottom lip. Kissing at the pad of his thumb, her eyes came to a tight close having Joel’s pulse leaping in his throat.

Tugging at the material of the bottom of her dress, Joel got it hiked up enough to reach for her panties beneath pushing them down her legs. His Adam’s apple bounced in his throat when they dropped to her ankles. Curling his arm under her thigh, he lifted her leg and slid his fingers underneath her knee. Adjusting her other leg allowed her to step out of the material and he licked his lips.

“Just give me another chance,” Joel whispered, his forehead pressing against hers. Lowering her leg back, Joel reached for her hands and hooked his fingers with hers. Leading them to his belt had her letting out a tremoring breath. “I know you still love me and I still love you. The two of us are meant to be together.”

Dragging his thumb across her bottom lip, Joel teased her with the idea of kissing her. At first her fingers dragged across his belt and he could see the contemplation in her eyes, “It’s okay.”

Shakily pulling apart his belt, she tugged at the material and then undid the button in his pants. Pulling down the zipper was all he needed to know that this was okay. Bringing their lips together again, Joel kissed her and pressed his body in closer to hers.

“There is no one that makes me feel the way you do,” Joel slurred against her bottom lip, peppering it with wet kisses. In his arms, her body was tremoring and there were no doubts about the way that she felt toward him. “Nothing hurt more than seeing you crying the other day knowing it was because of me. Because I love you. I love you so much and I hate that I did what I did. I regret it every day.”

“How do I know that this isn’t like the other times?” she whimpered, her head tipping back with Joel starting to kiss down over her jawline. Closing her eyes, she purred out at the sensation of his lips caressing at her flesh. After so long together, Joel knew exactly what to do to get her to turn to mush in the palm of his hand.

“Does this feel like the other times?” Joel inquired, cupping her face in the warmth of his hands. Sweeping his thumbs against her face, Joel leaned into nuzzle his nose in against hers. “I mean what I say Y/N. I’m lost without you. You’re all I can think about. I go to sleep thinking about you. I wake up thinking about you…”

Crying out, she bit down on her bottom lip when Joel’s hand palmed in between her thighs. Swallowing down hard, Joel was quick to push his pants down to the bottom of his waist. Bracing his weight, Joel picked her up in his arms and pressed her firmly back against the wall. Getting her to wrap her legs around his waist, Joel’s eyelids grew heavy with her right arm wrapped around his shoulders and her left hand brushing through his hair.

“All I see is you…” Joel whispered, capturing her lips with his again. Each kiss grew stronger with his hips faintly bucking up against her. Breaking away for a moment, Joel lowered his head releasing a grunt when he lined his body up with her entrance. Sinking unhurriedly into the warmth of her body had his lips parting, a small whine escaping her throat with him entering her again. It was so hard for Joel not to fall apart right then and there. Maybe it was from all the emotions, but just having the warmth of her surrounding him again had his heart racing. There was a sense of euphoria that flooded into her features with her head tipping back. Starting to roll his hips from under her, Joel had her body bouncing upward with every thrust that he made. Hovering his lips over hers, the warmth of his breath had chills running down her spine. A rumble of a growl escaped his throat with her fingertips tugging at his dark hair. “We were made for one another. No matter what the world throws at us, it’s always gonna lead me back to you and you back to me.”

Unsteadily breathing, Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck with her wrapping her arms around his shoulders to brace herself. Wincing, Joel’s thrusts were slow and steady. Unlike the last time where he completely had his way with her. More than anything he wanted this to mean something. To be special in a way that the last few times hadn’t been between them. He wanted to show her that he loved her. That she was special to him.

“I love you,” Joel slurred against the side of her neck, grunting with his thrusts growing harder. Faint gasps escaped her lips with her caressing her fingers against his scalp. More than anything, he wanted to hear her say it back in the moment. Tipping his head back just enough, Joel’s dark eyes linked with hers. Pressing his forehead against hers. “Tell me you love me.”

“Joel,” she panted, her eyes closing shut tightly with his thrusts becoming more prominent. Clinging tightly to him, she whined out his name.

“Please,” he begged, nibbling at her bottom lip with their bodies moving together in unison.

“I love you,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering to an open with his movements coming to a halt. Joel’s beautiful eyes gazed over her lips and she knew by his expression that it was everything that he wanted to hear.

Carefully lowering one of her legs down to the ground, he hooked his arm underneath it while keeping the other leg wrapped firmly around his hips. Pressing closer to her, this helped Joel’s movements become steadier, more fluid. After hearing her say the words that he asked of her, Joel couldn’t stop kissing her. Flooding her with all the passion that he had inside of him.

“You are so beautiful,” Joel whispered against her earlobe after he broke away from their kisses allowing them to now trail over her jawline. “You’ve always been so beautiful.”

Drawing her back to him with his kisses, Joel’s thrusts grew unsteady with her breaths growing sharp against his, “I want to be the reason you smile again. I want to be the reason you’re happy, not the reason that you’re miserable.”

Settling his free hand in over the small of her back, Joel’s winces grew louder with every thrust. Whimpering, her head dropped back against the wall allowing him to kiss down over the side of her neck. Nipping at her chin, Joel growled out and felt his body tensing up.

“I miss you so much,” Joel captured her lips in a lingering kiss, plunging his manhood into her with uneven movements. His thrusts became more desperate. His body tensing up beneath her while she rocked her hips against his movements.

Dropping his left hand, he cupped her bottom in his grasp. Her cries grew louder, vibrating against his lips as he stole kiss after kiss from her. Soon his thrusts slowed down but were extremely prominent with the warmth of his release starting to fill her. Groaning out, Joel bit faintly at her bottom lip as he continued to buck up against her until his movements came to a complete halt.

Falling in against her, Joel’s breathing was loud and uneven. Usually she wasn’t this quiet during or after things, but it seemed like she was trying to catch her breath with their bodies still pressed together. Lowering her leg, Joel grunted when he felt her pressing into his stomach. By the pressure she was able to get him to step back. With his body pulling from hers, it had her eyes coming to a tight close. Trying to gather herself, she started pushing at the material of her dress doing her best to get it back into place. Once she did, she fell back against the wall, sliding down it until she was sitting completely on the floor.

“Y/N?” Joel breathed out her name, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Noticing the expression over her face, Joel realized it wasn’t all that happy and he started to work his pants back up over his body. Pushing his softening length back into his pants, Joel adjusted himself before zipping the material together. Buttoning his pants, Joel left the belt unhooked when he lowered down in beside her. Both of their breathing was labored and he didn’t know what to say. Truthfully? The silence was eating away at him.

“There are no cameras in here, right?” she wondered, looking around the classroom to see if there were cameras that were there. In the past, she knew that there wasn’t, but it had been a very long time since they went to school here.

“No,” Joel shook his head, shakily brushing his fingers through his hair surprised that it was the first question she asked him.

“And no one was here to see that?” she seemed worried that they would have been caught having sex in the middle of the school.

“It’s just us in here right now. The guy that runs this program owed me a favor. Taught me how to use it and then the janitor let me into the building. I got permission to do this whole thing,” Joel explained to her the process of what he had to do in order to have this moment with them. Waving his hand about in the air, Joel felt his chest tightening when it looked like she was still upset with him. “I have keys to lock up afterwards.”

“We shouldn’t have done that here,” she stammered, her eyes staring out toward the seats in the distance.

“It’s not the first time we had sex in this building. The two of us would sneak off all the time when we were younger,” Joel reminded her with a weak smile, nudging her slightly with his arm, but it didn’t have the kind of reaction that he was hoping from her. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“This isn’t fair Joel,” she responded, staring out into the room refusing to look at him in that moment. Shakily, her fingers brushed back her hair. Right now? She seemed to be more upset than she was before all of this. “I waited four years for you to decide that you made a mistake. So many nights I laid awake thinking that you would show up on the doorstep apologizing about the mistake that you made. And when you’d show up to sleep with me, I’d think that was it, but it never was. You know that I love you and you know how to play me like a fiddle. Hell, like you said I’ve been in love with you since I was a child.”

“I didn’t…” Joel started to defend himself, but she held her hand up in the air to stop him from talking any further. By what she was saying, it felt like she thought he was doing the same kind of thing with her right now and that wasn’t the case at all.

“I am so fucking broken because I love you,” she declared with a whimper, reaching up to wipe at her eyes knowing that he was confused with her response. “Whether you like him or not, Negan is the perfect guy. Wants me to be happy. Goes out of his way to make me feel good. And I just had sex with you because the girl in me that is head over heels in love with you has been waiting to hear everything you just said for so long.”

Her hands were trembling as she spoke, the look in her eyes miserable when she turned to look at Joel with a newfound sadness that caused that ache at the center of his chest to grow further, “I can’t help, but think that you only did this because now there is someone else that genuinely cares about me. For so long it was only you, but now that there is Negan…”

“That’s not true,” Joel refuted with a frown outstretching his hand to curl his fingers in underneath her jaw to get her to look at him. “It’s not true because we started this back at the village and I didn’t even know Negan was there.”

“Joel, that day at the village was just like all the other times we’ve slept together since we’ve been separated. You’d come to me when you were horny and you wanted to get laid. You’d say exactly what I needed to hear or wanted to hear and I’d fall for it every time,” she reminded him hearing Joel huffing out and out of the corner of her eyes she noticed the way that his face scrunched up. “Why wait to do this until after Negan? If you missed me, if you loved me, why wait until now?”

“I don’t know, but it’s not because of Negan,” Joel declared placing his hand in over the center of his chest to stress his sincerity. “And I didn’t only come to you to sleep with you because I was horny and I wanted to get laid.”

“You always left before the children came home or woke up Joel when we’d sleep together in the past,” she hissed, her eyes full of tears again when she turned her head to stare out at him. Seeing her hurt again was tearing his heart out because he thought what he had just done was everything she needed to hear. Shaking her head, she tried to gather her emotions but she was having a hard time doing that. Misery was flooding throughout Joel’s whole body with no idea how to fix all of this. “I think right now you truly believe that you love me. That I’m the one for you. But I think it’s because before now, I was always an option. Someone that was here waiting for you to realize your mistake. Now that I have Negan in my life? I think you’re panicking. So you’re feeling these emotions so strongly.”

“I understand why you would think that,” Joel threw his hands out in a pleading motion, “but I started feeling this way long before Negan showed up. The day we did our gingerbread family I…” Joel swallowed down hard knowing that this was going to sound creepy. “When I went upstairs, I saw that the door to our bedroom was open. I went in there and I crawled into our bed. Laid in my spot because I missed it Y/N. I missed you then.”

“Then why didn’t you do all of this then?” she whimpered, her voice breaking after she asked him that question. So many thoughts were flooding through his mind, but he couldn’t focus on the right one that he knew would get her to believe him. “I don’t think you’re evil or purposely out to hurt me Joel. I don’t even think you did this purposely. I think it was your fear that I might not be here as a backup that has you acting out like this. You’re a good man Joel Miller, and I’ve always known that. But? You’re just not good for me.”

“Tess and I broke up because I was still in love with you,” Joel confessed to her, his eyebrows furrowing when he tried to appeal to her. “She wanted more from me, but I couldn’t give it to her because my heart…it still belonged to you. I was just pretending with everyone else because I thought I had to experience what I didn’t when I was a kid, but I realized it was you that I wanted to be with.”

“Joel, we slept together when you were with Tess. You could have left her at any time and I would have welcomed you back with open arms,” she defended her actions right now with being so upset. “It’s so hard to believe what you are saying right now.”

“Because I hurt you in the past, that’s what you’re focusing on, but it’s not true,” Joel promised, his voice broken when he desperately shook his head from side to side. “You’re it for me. I know you are. And I’ve felt this way for a while. Before Negan even showed up because at the village…”

“You fucked me so hard that I felt it all night and into the morning,” she interrupted him having him go silent with his defense. “There was no romance there. You wanted to have raunchy dirty sex and I don’t think you cared who I was in that moment. You fucked me so hard Joel and it wasn’t sex from a man that loved me. It was a man that wanted to use my body to get a release. One that he likely hadn’t had in a while.”

Groaning out, Joel buried his head into his hand and felt his body shaking, “I’m lonely and I miss you Y/N.”

“I believe that you’re lonely,” she agreed with him having his saddened chocolate brown eyes meeting hers when he turned his head to gaze out at her. “You know, the day you told me you wanted a divorce is the day that you left. I remember thinking back then you were just stressed out and overwhelmed. I just thought you were saying it to say it. To scare me into thinking I was actually going to lose you. I thought you just needed some time to calm down. So I let you go with Tommy. I never cried harder than I did that night. And when you came to get your things, I begged you to reconsider. I didn’t understand the mistake I had made. What I did wrong. I gave up my life just like you did. The second we got divorced, Tess suddenly showed up…”

“I didn’t cheat,” Joel started to fight watching her nod her head. “I didn’t!”

“I believe you, but it didn’t stop you from finding someone as soon as we got divorced,” she recalled the pain that she felt when he was with Tess. How quickly he had found someone else always broke her heart. “You threw Tess in my face every chance you could. Maybe you didn’t even mean it. Maybe you loved her so much that…”

“I never told Tess that I loved her,” Joel interrupted her shaking his head when she rambled about his ex that he had broken up with months ago. “I never did.”

“Does that even matter? You still chose to be with her over me. It killed me to see you with her, but I didn’t try to break the two of you up. When you came to me, I thought you were picking me and you would come back to me. I was a bad person when I slept with you when you were with her,” she condemned herself thinking about some of the worst moments of her life. Back then she was so desperate to have Joel back that she would have done anything to make him happy. “Right now, I believe you firmly think that you love me and you want to be with me again, but I know how you were when you were with me and I’m not your happiness.”

“I’m nothing without you,” Joel pled as she pulled herself up into a standing position. Looking up at her with misery in his eyes, Joel threw his hands up in the air. “My heart breaks every day I wake up and you’re not in my arms. I miss when it was the four of us. Waking up, having breakfast with the four of us…my heart yearns for that. I want to be with you with everything that I am. My chest fucking hurts when I think about you because I love you and I’m heartbroken.”

“You don’t know what heartbroken is,” she scoffed, lowering her head when Joel started to sob where he was seated. “You know what? That was mean. I’m sure you do. But not when it comes to me,” she went to leave with Joel reaching for her hand again, but she forcefully pulled it away from him. “Don’t!”

“Please,” Joel got to his knees, holding his hands up in a begging motion. “Please give me another chance. I can prove it to you. Don’t do this to me. Please?”

“Do you think I like seeing you like this? I love you Joel and I have loved you all along. I will always love you Joel, but you shattered my heart. You broke it so bad that I don’t even know if I can ever piece it back together,” she whimpered, her sobs drawing her words to slur together. “Do you remember how you got me to sign the divorce papers?”

Dropping his head, Joel bit down on his bottom lip and his hands fell at his sides into fists, “You told me that you were suffering. That every day you were with me you woke up wanting to kill yourself because you hated your life so much. You told me that the only chance you had at being happy was trying to do something new with your life. What happens if we get back together and I wake up one day to find that you aren’t here because of me? Because I make you that miserable.”

“You’re the only thing that holds me together,” Joel stated with something that resembled a whine. Right now Joel looked defeated on his knees before her. “Nothing I say is going to make you take me back. Is it? I’ll never be good enough for you.”

“You were always good enough for me,” her bottom lip trembled, lowering down before Joel to trace her fingers over the hard lines of Joel’s face. “Joel Miller, I’m going to love you until the day I die. Nothing will change that because I love you so much. But I will never forget the things you told me. And I think the healthiest thing for the both of us is to stay apart. We’re toxic together Joel. I don’t make you happy. And I love you enough to know that. But you’ll never lose me. I’ll always be in your life. With our children? We’ll never be out of each other’s lives.”

Bracing her hands against his shoulders, she caressed over them and leaned forward to bring their lips together in a tender sweep. When she pulled away, Joel’s palm caressed down over the side of her face, “It’s not a question of if I love you Joel. We both know that I do. It’s just knowing what’s best for the both of us.”

Nuzzling her nose in against his, she stroked her fingers over the side of his face taking a moment to comfort him with him so upset. Shakily standing to her feet had his dark eyes lifting to watch her back step toward the door.

“Let me take you home,” Joel reasoned with her, going to get up but she was quick to shake her head. Guilt was eating away at him, his whole body aching after the way this turned out. “No one is here to drive you home. You’re only wearing that dress. You’re gonna get sick.”

“I’m stronger than I look,” she shrugged her shoulders letting out a long sigh knowing right now she felt like she needed an incredible amount of punishment for everything she did tonight not only to Joel, but also what she did to Negan. “I’ll call Tommy and let him know what happened so he can expect you home soon.”

“Something tells me even if I asked you not to, you still would,” Joel commented, lowering back down to his ass letting out a long huff when he wiped at his tear-stained face. “So do whatever you have to do I ‘spose.”

Standing at the doorway, Y/N felt her chest aching seeing how devastated Joel looked, but at the end of the day she knew this was the best for the both of them.

----

At first it sounded like a faint knocking sound that awakened Negan from his slumber. It was late into the middle of the night and he was barely awake. Turning his head, Negan groaned out and buried his head into his pillow further. Hoping to drown out the sounds. Right now he was at the home he had rented to stay in town for the holidays. Truthfully? The house was incredibly noisy and he figured it was because it was an older home. Over the last couple of weeks, Negan had gone back and forth between this rental and his mother’s home so he wasn’t completely used to this place yet. That sound? He just thought it was old pipes.

Gradually the sounds started to get louder which had Negan pushing his hands into the bed to sit up slowly. Rubbing his hand down over his face, it took a minute for him to realize that it was someone knocking. Gazing over at the time, he let out a stressed breath seeing that it was way too late for someone to be at his home. Then again, when he was at his other places he never put it past a fan to try to show up at his home unannounced.

Getting up slowly, he stumbled through the darkness of the bedroom. Flicking the light on helped just enough but hurt his tired eyes. Rubbing at them, he yawned and made his way down the hallway toward the front door. Stepping in front of the door, he looked out the window after struggling to push away the curtain covering the door.

Suddenly, his heart kickstarted in his chest when he realized who was standing outside his door. Pulling it open, Negan clung tightly to the door and felt his heart racing, “Y/N, what the hell are you doing?”

Instead of saying anything, she just stood before him silent. Visibly freezing and standing before him in nothing but a red gown. Reaching out, his warm hands grabbed a hold of her wrists that were dropped down at her sides. Urging her into his rental home, Negan closed the door behind them. Palming up over her arms toward her shoulders, Negan realized that her flesh was freezing beneath his touch.

“You’re freezing. What’s going on?” Negan questioned, motioning her to wait a moment. Moving over toward the couch, he swiftly grabbed the blanket that he had left there earlier. Rushing back to her, he wrapped the blanket around her shivering body. Caressing it over her shoulders, he tried to get her to warm up. “Did you walk all the way here wearing just that?”

“Yeah,” she was honest causing an immediate worry to fill Negan’s eyes. Stumbling over to the fireplace, Negan worked quickly to get the fireplace started. Guilt ate away at her knowing that Negan was doing everything in his power to get the fire started for her as fast as he could. “You don’t have to worry about this Negan. I need to talk to you.”

“And we’ll talk once we get this fire started, get you some new clothes and something hot to drink,” Negan grunted after he finally got the fire lit. Moving around her, Negan dragged one of the chairs in the living room close to the fireplace. Grabbing her hands in his, Negan led her toward the chair and got her to sit down. Right now she was uncontrollably shivering, but she didn’t care about herself. Attempting to stand up had Negan shaking his head and forcing her back down. “Stay!”

Instead of fighting, she obeyed and heard him rushing down the hallway. Shuffling sounds were heard and it didn’t take long for him to be running back into the living room. Holding some clothes out to her, Negan saw her eyeing them over. For some reason she wasn’t taking them evoking a grunt from his lips. Lowering down, Negan pulled the blanket carefully from her body after he set the clothes aside. Hooking his arms underneath her armpits, Negan was gentle in the way that he pulled her up to her feet. Using his strength, Negan made sure that she was comfortably on her feet before he started to work the dress from her body.

Nothing about this was sexual. If anything? He was incredibly caring and sweet in the way that he was helping her. Getting the damp material from her body seemed to be his number one priority. And once he did? The material dropped to the ground with a wet thud. Even though she was naked, Negan didn’t take advantage of it. Instead he motioned her to lift her arms up for him. When she did, he helped pull one of his heavier sweatshirts down over her upper half. Grabbing his boxer shorts that he snagged from his dresser, Negan helped get each leg through before pulling them up her body. Once he was done, he did the same thing with a pair of his sweatpants and was unhurried in the way that he tied the knot in them.

“Come here,” Negan wrapped her up in his arms as soon as he was done. Holding her tightly to him, Negan was doing his best to warm her up. She was still shivering and he was worried about her.

“Did something happen?” Negan asked and by the tone of his voice she knew that he thought something horrible had happened to her. “Do I need to call someone? Do we need to go to the hospital?”

“No,” she muttered, burying her head against his shoulder. Even though it was warm, her body was still having a hard time warming up. It was an involuntary action of her body that was craving the warmth of his body against hers as she cuddled in closer to him. “I did this to myself Negan. I walked here from the high school. It was my own choice.”

“The high school?” Negan repeated, tipping back enough to stare down at her with a strained expression. “Why were you at the high school. No, fucking scratch that. Why did you walk all the way from the high school through the freezing weather in the snow to this fucking house? You should have called me. I would have picked you up.”

“I was punishing myself,” she spoke quietly having his head tip to the side. His eyebrows furrowed with his lips parting. It looked like he wanted to say something, but when he went to he stopped himself because he didn’t understand. “I’m a horrible person Negan. For so many reasons.”

“No you’re not,” Negan denied that statement immediately, shaking his head with him cupping her face in the warmth of his palms.

“I am,” she insisted having Negan scoff at her stubbornness. They probably could have gone back and forth like children at this point. It was late. She was freezing. They were both tired, but the worst of it was that she was emotional in all of this.

“You’re not a terrible person. And whatever you think you’ve done wrong, it’s not worth getting sick and dying when you have two children that need you,” Negan reminded her of Elizabeth and Peter who were likely at Joel and Tommy’s home. In her mind, all Y/N could picture was Joel coming home miserable to the children. If they knew how devastated she made their father, she was certain that they would hate her for tonight. Their father was everything to them. And she broke Joel’s heart. Instead of responding, a cry fell from her lips. Worried about her, Negan shook his head and motioned her to sit back down. “Stay here.”

“Negan,” she tried to call out to him after he had helped her back into the seat. There was some clanking coming from the kitchen. With him gone, she could focus on the warmth of the fire surrounding her. It was something her body needed as she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, pulling it close. Cuddling it closer to her body, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on anything other than how Joel sobbed because of her tonight. The sound of footsteps dragging across the floor was heard drawing her eyes to open. In her face was a mug that Negan was holding out to her. With an expecting glance, Negan nodded down toward it and cleared his throat. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Negan responded after she took the mug from him. Not drinking the warm liquid inside, she allowed the glass to warm her hands. That felt better than anything in the moment. Finally looking Negan over, she noticed that he was shirtless and he was in a pair of gray boxer briefs. His right knee had a compression sleeve over it that made her throat go dry. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“You’re limping and you’re wearing your brace,” she avoided his question, her eyes gazing him over with him glaring down at her. Folding his arms in front of his chest, Negan’s stare made her remember all over again what it was like when he would get upset with her when they were younger. Right now? She was more worried about him. “Does your knee hurt?”

“Yeah, after tearing my ACL it doesn’t feel all that good in the cold weather,” Negan responded lowering his head to stare down at the brace that his doctor gave him to wear to help him heal with his injury. “Now how about you start talking to me about what’s going on? Why did you almost kill yourself walking here like you did?”

“Because I deserve worse?” she was getting emotional with Negan’s features softening. That was the last thing she wanted from Negan right now. Empathy was not something she deserved after what she did tonight. “I did something really bad.”

“Listen,” Negan groaned out as he lowered down to his knees to kneel before her in the chair she was seated in. Even though he was trying to hide it, Negan winced when he got down onto his knees. Trying to hide the pain from her. “Whatever you did? It’s not worth you freezing to death.”

There were tears burning in her eyes when she lowered her head forcing herself not to look at him. He was so tender and caring with her that she knew it would be hard to even tell him what had happened. Lacking bravery, she swallowed down hard and felt her body trembling.

“Did you kill someone?” Negan inquired with a simple shrug of his shoulders. With how shaken up she was, Negan felt like he was going to have to guess what had happened. “The rental has a shovel. Fuck, if you tell me where the body is I can help you bury it.”

“Knock it off,” she snorted hating that she laughed at his suggestion. Staring down at the hot chocolate that he had made for her, she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt eating away at her.

“Did someone hurt you?” Negan was quiet in the way that he asked her. By the tone of his voice, she knew that he was asking if someone assaulted her and she shook her head. If anything? She was the bad one for what she had done to Joel. “If someone hurt you, I’ll fucking kill them.”

“Negan,” she carefully set her mug aside, making sure that it wouldn’t spill before turning her attention back to Negan. Sliding forward in the chair, she shakily reached up to cup Negan’s face in her hands. Even though his face was warm, he didn’t turn away from her cold touch because he was too concerned for her. “You have always been perfect. And I haven’t.”

“I’m the furthest thing from perfect,” Negan breathed out, his long eyelashes fluttering to a close with her touching him. Turning his head into her palm, Negan deposited a kiss over the inside of her wrist which had her shuddering. “If you knew half of the bad shit about me, you probably wouldn’t be here right now. I’m not a good man.”

“I wouldn’t care what you’ve done,” she alerted him having his eyes lazily open with him staring out at her longingly. “You’ve always been my hero. The best part of me and I’ve let you down every time. I’ve hurt you so many times…”

“Hey…” Negan lifted up further with her crying harder, clear tension in his features from the pain that he was feeling in his knee but he was risking it to check on her. “What happened?”

“You’re not going to want to be around me after I tell you,” she insisted with a whimper knowing that what she had done tonight was a sure way to lose everything that she had just gained with Negan. It broke her heart to know, but what happened tonight happened. There was no avoiding it. He needed to know what she had done with Joel. Even though she considered what happened with Joel tonight a ‘goodbye’, it still happened when she was having the relationship that she had started with Negan. What hurt the most about this whole thing is that she slept with Joel knowing that she had a good thing going with Negan.

“Let me be the judge of that,” he suggested, tipping his head from side to side. Lifting up, he grabbed her hands and squeezed them tightly. “I want us to be as honest as possible with each other. So just say whatever you need to say.”

“I came home from work tonight to see a peony, a dress and a note at the center of my bed,” she began, forcing herself to keep her eyes locked on Negan. Hearing that had the lines in Negan’s forehead becoming more visible. “The note told me to be ready by a certain time. That a car would pick me up…I thought it was you. It was just like something you would have done.”

“Okay,” Negan waited for more information, still stroking his fingers over the back of her hands.

“The car drove me to the high school and there were these signs that led to the planetarium. Another note told me to sit in the front row and the lights started up,” she recalled everything that happened knowing that she should have just blurted out what she did, but she was going into far more details than need be. “It was beautiful. I waited for you to come out, but then I realized it was Joel that did it.”

“Oh, I see where this is going,” Negan nodded his head about, biting down on his bottom lip. “It’s okay.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” she countered having Negan’s Adam’s apple bounce in his throat. With a simple shake of his head, Negan exhaled loudly and she found herself surprised by his immediate response. “He did this really romantic speech about the first time he fell in love with me. And then he sang me this song…”

There were more tears growing from her eliciting a hushing sound from Negan who outstretched his hand to caress over the side of her face to sweep away the tears, “It’s okay. I understand. Joel is your ex-husband and I know you still love him. If you are back with him, I’ll just deal with it. I got to have you for a very short amount of time, but it was better than never having you.”

“Negan,” she frowned hating that he was being so polite about things. “We had something going and I slept with Joel…”

“What do you want me to say?” Negan’s face was scrunched up, his voice raspier than normal. “Do you want me to yell at you? Because we weren’t putting a label on whatever this was. I knew how you felt about Joel and…”

“I’m a bitch,” she snapped at Negan who snickered. Frustration flooded her veins with him drawing his tongue out across his bottom lip.

“And I’m an asshole,” Negan declared, slowly releasing her hands and throwing his arms up in the air. “So what? I can’t be mad at you for being in love with Joel. You were married to him for a long time and you’ve been in love with him for so much fucking longer. You don’t have to cry over the fact you’re back together with Joel. I’m gonna care about you regardless.”

“I’m not back together with Joel,” she sighed loudly, lifting her hands to wipe at her face again. There was no doubt that she looked terrible right now, but she didn’t care. “I broke his heart too. I think by allowing us to sleep together he thought I would give us another chance. I didn’t. We’re toxic together and I know that. I told him that. I told him that I only wanted to be friends with him.”

Arching his eyebrow in curiosity, Negan’s jaw clenched hearing her starting to cry harder, “I did to you what I did when we were younger. I fell for Joel’s lure he has on me again and I slept with him. I cheated on you.”

“You didn’t cheat on me when we weren’t officially dating,” Negan hinted shaking his head and dragging his fingers through his short beard. “I mean…if that’s the case, I cheated on you too.”

“You slept with someone else?” she was surprised to hear that having Negan’s head movements being incredibly dramatic. “Who?”

“I didn’t technically sleep with anyone. But I jerked off this morning thinking about Lucille,” Negan answered eliciting a groan and an eye roll from her. “I was in the shower, it was morning, my dick was hard. I jerked off thinking about her, so technically I cheated on you too if you’re counting sleeping with Joel as cheating.”

“You’re such a fucking liar,” she grumbled under her breath having Negan crack a big cheesy smile. She didn’t know what she was expecting from Negan, but it certainly wasn’t this. What she thought she deserved was to be treated like shit. Thrown out of the house and to never be contacted again. But instead? He was doing his best to make her smile. “It’s not at all the same thing.”

“I was imagining my fist was a pussy, so I mean…” Negan reasoned with her having her drop her head back against the chair in frustration. “A nice, tight, wet pussy.”

“You’re not helping this. You should be furious with me,” she snorted noticing that he was doing the motion of jerking off with his hand. With how big the gesture was it had her laughing out again. “Stop! You’re making me laugh.”

“I mean, it shouldn’t make you laugh. It’s that big,” Negan pointed to his hand smiling himself when she pushed his hand aside. “Come on. I don’t give a shit that you slept with Joel. I mean, I care. But I’ve been losing out to Joel my whole life. I’ve come to expect it. And we really didn’t make it official between the two of us,” Negan listed off the many reasons that he decided he couldn’t be mad at her. “If Lucille walked through that door and jumped me, I would crumble at the knee and have sex with her,” Negan considered what he said and he cleared his throat. “Then I’d have to consider the fact that I likely just had sex with a zombie, but I’d still hit it.”

“Jesus Negan,” she shoved into his shoulder having him snorting. Dropping back onto his ass, he stretched out his legs and braced his weight on his palms behind him on the floor. “You are everything I want. You’re everything I’ve longed for from Joel for years. You make me happy. You make me so fucking happy…”

“Then what’s the problem?” Negan stammered, his hazel eyes trying to figure out what was going on right now. There was so much going on inside of her head and Negan knew that she was torturing herself with her thoughts. “What is it you want Y/N?”

“You need to yell at me,” she demanded having Negan sigh loudly. “Yell at me. Get furious.”

“Why?” Negan wasn’t sure why that would help her in the position that she was in. “Is it going to help you to have me scream at you?”

“No, but it’s what I deserve. Because you are so fucking perfect,” she stressed, her words lingering a little long because of the way she was crying. “So please, just scream at me. Yell at me. Do something other than try to make me feel better.”

“How fucking dare you,” Negan spoke in a fake, condescending tone. “Your ex-husband that you are still very much in love with did something romantic and you ended up sleeping with him because of it. I’m fucking furious with you.”

“Negan!” she hissed at him having Negan roll his eyes dramatically. Instead of being angry with her, he was giving her an excuse for what she did. That’s not what she wanted at all because she felt like a terrible person for all of this.

“I am so fucking mad at you!” Negan raised his voice, his face scrunching up. Once his features softened, he threw his right hand up and waited for her response. “Was that better? Did you like me yelling at you?”

“Not really,” she was honest hearing him laugh. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan sighed and took a long pause to think about what he was going to say.

“If you wanted me to scream at you endlessly and have a fucking shit fit, I’m not gonna,” Negan declared pressing his right hand in over his chest. “I understand. I get being in love with someone. I am kinda fucking pissed at Joel for letting you leave looking like that though.”

“I broke his heart,” she replied back blowing off the idea that Joel did anything wrong. “He offered to drive me home, but I just shattered his soul by telling him that I don’t think we should be together and that we were only meant to be friends.”

Considering everything that had been laid out before him, Negan pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees, “So now what?”

“What do you mean?” she watched him uncomfortably expecting something so much different to be happening right now.

“I mean what now?” Negan repeated himself, but he could tell that she had a hard time understanding things. “Do you want to get back with Joel?”

“I can’t,” she answered with a loud swallow reaching for her hot chocolate since her hands started to get cold again. “Joel may think he wants to get back with me, but he doesn’t remember how sad and broken he was when we were together. I made him miserable. And he broke my heart. We’re not good together. We made two beautiful babies, we made a life with each other, but he broke it off four years ago. He had four years to show me that he felt this way, but he never did.”

“Do you want to stop having something with me?” Negan brought his finger to the middle of his chest pointing at himself.

“You shouldn’t want to still have something with me,” she reminded him getting his nose to wrinkle up in irritation.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Negan stressed, patting his chest with his whole hand. “Do you still want to be with me?”

“I hurt you,” she reiterated what she had done having Negan mutter something under his breath. “What?”

“Do you like spending time with me?” Negan inquired noting the way her features softened. Nodding her head, she bit down on her bottom lip and looked away from him. There was that guilt again. “Do you like having sex with me?”

“Negan,” she frowned letting out a small laugh. Why did he have to make a serious situation so lighthearted by the way he acted and said things?

“Answer the questions,” Negan demanded, his voice stronger than he had been most of the night.

“Yes,” she didn’t know where this would get them. Thinking about her answer, Negan licked his lips and cleared his throat.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend? Officially?” Negan wondered having her lips part, surprised to hear that come from his mouth. “Because if you want to be my girlfriend, then that makes it official. Which means neither you nor I can fuck around on each other. It’s putting a label on it now so I can’t feel bad for the things before.”

“Why would you still want to be with me?” she blurt out, flustered that he would even be suggesting that idea.

“Because if you didn’t care about me, if you didn’t love me…you wouldn’t be here right now crying. You walked in the freezing cold through snow to punish yourself because you thought you hurt me,” Negan pointed in the direction of the front door where he found her when she showed up. “You’re here and you’re telling me the truth. And the fact that you did it has you devastated. Because you love me. Part of you still loves Joel and I understand that, but I fucking love you. I’ve always fucking loved you. Knowing that you’re honest with me? Fuck, that’s a big deal. Now if we agree to be official here and Joel pulls something, I can’t promise that I won’t punch him, but since we weren’t official before, I can’t make a big deal out of it.”

“You love me?” she focused on the words he had said having him smile. Groaning in pain, Negan adjusted his body and crawled back toward her to lay his head in her lap after she set the mug down again. Rubbing his head against her thigh had her exhaling loudly, her fingers shakily moving down to brush her fingers through his dark hair.

“It’s not obvious?” Negan stammered, his head lifting up with his eyes staring longingly into hers. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. That kinda love just doesn’t go away.”

Caressing down over the side of his face, she knew that she was getting even more emotional hearing him talking about loving her, “You told me that I make you happy. Well you? You make me so fucking happy. And I love spending time with you and the children. I understand that Joel is always gonna be in our lives. And I accept that.”

“I carry so much baggage,” she reminded him and he laughed.

“I carry crazy fans. Mental trauma. A bum fucking knee and a bad back. Occasionally some paparazzi and reporters,” Negan rambled off all the problems that he knew that came with being with him. “Being with me means that you have to share me with fans. I’ve had serious anger issues in the past. I swear like you can’t believe. I have the humor of a teenage boy. I make crazy amounts of dick jokes all the time. Like, I can’t help it. It’s dick and balls in this immature brain all the fucking time. I have a crazy sex drive where I’ll probably wanna have sex, a lot. I’ve been really romantic with you and I love making things romantic, but some days I’m the break your bed type of wild. I know I’ll get depressed when my career is finally over, but I’ll never take it out on you. I’ll just be…sad. Just like I’m sad about Lucille. I hide my emotions behind a fake smile all the time. So we’re the same. You and me? We’ve gone through so much shit. But I accept you. I want all of you. Broken heart and all. Cus’ you told me that I bring you joy. If I can do that for you from here on out. Then I consider that to be a success.”

“I don’t understand you,” she whimpered with Negan pressing his hands up over the arms of the chair to hover his lips in over hers.

“I don’t understand me either,” Negan agreed with her, a smile tugging at his handsome features drawing attention to his prominent dimples. “So what do you say? Do you wanna officially date me or not? Because either way I can accept your answer. Because either way I wanna still be in your life.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she claimed, her eyes full of awe for him.

“Then don’t,” Negan breathed out, slowly standing up with a pained sound. Motioning her to stand up, Negan sat down in the chair and then led her to sit in his lap. Wrapping her up in his arms, he got her comfortable enough so she was staring into his eyes. Palming over the side of her face, Negan shrugged his shoulders. “Just tell me if it’s not me that you want to be with. I’m a big boy. I’ll be able to handle it. I’d just like to give us…give this a real chance.”

After considering his offer, she nodded her head and let out a tremoring breath, “Yes.”

“Yes?” Negan was dramatic with the way he bobbed his head about.

“Yes, I want to give this a try,” she responded knowing that it made her a terrible person. Negan deserved better than her. And she knew that. Joel did too, but she knew what her heart longed for. Joel was someone she loved very much, but the way that Negan was? The way he made her feel? That was something she wanted from Joel for years. Yet it was Negan that it came naturally with. “If you’ll take me.”

“Of course I’ll take you,” Negan leaned forward to nuzzle his nose in against hers. “Is this where you expect me to pick you up and throw you in the fire for what you did?”

“That’s not even funny,” she snorted having his wicked laugh follow. “Negan.”

“If it wasn’t funny, why did you laugh?” Negan joked with her, tapping the tip of her nose with his pointer finger. “It was pretty funny.”

There seemed to be something that lingered in Y/N’s eyes when Negan tipped his head back, “What is it?”

“It’ll break Joel’s heart knowing that I still wanted to be with you after everything that he did today,” she thought aloud having Negan pull her in closer to him so she could get more comfortable. “I think it makes me a bad person for letting his hopes get up.”

“We’ll deal with it,” Negan frowned, wrapping his arm around her waist to make sure that she was safely in his lap as he adjusted his legs underneath her. “I’m not gonna fuck with Joel or rub his nose in it. Because that’s not right. But whatever comes our way? We’ll handle it in the best way we can.”

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

#Negan #Joel Miller #Joel Miller fanfiction #Pedro Pascal #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan fanfiction #Negan x reader #Joel Miller x reader #Negan x you #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller smut #The Walking Dead #The Last of Us #tlou fanfiction #The Walking Dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #The Last of Us fanfiction #Negan Smith

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benispunk · 19 hours ago

Text

Who's That Girl?

Chapter 7: You Don’t Choose Your Family

Y/n gets a surprise visit of her father at the apartment. It's not that she's not happy about it...but you don't choose your family.

logan howlett x reader

TW: language, mentions of divorce, D&W.

A/N: hey!! I am BACK!! I am absolutely not done with the story nor my exams but do not worry about anything. Chapter 7 is here (*applause*) and it's the continuation of the last one😚 we are also getting more of the Logan x reader I promised you 🤭 hope you like it!!!! enjoyyyyy <3

→ this fic is inspired by the TV Show New Girl, Wade and Logan aren't Deadpool and Wolverine (no powers/mutant gene etc) but I did take most of their character traits and storyline!!

Masterlist / Previous Part

Y/N wasn’t expecting the call.

Her evening was supposed to be low-key —grading papers, maybe catching a show with Logan and Wade later. But when Logan called, everything changed.

When she arrived, her father was comfortably seated on the couch, chatting animatedly with Logan. Logan looked both polite and slightly panicked— caught in the middle of a conversation he didn’t initiate. The sight almost made Y/N laugh. How Logan always ended up trapped with the chattiest person ever was a mystery.

“Dad!” Y/N greeted, pulling her father’s attention away from Logan.

“Hey, kiddo!” Your father, Daniel, stood up with a grin, acting as if this surprise visit was the most normal thing in the world. “I thought I’d drop by and see how you were doing.”

Y/N gave him a quick hug, still trying to process the unexpected visit. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Just figured I’d come check on you in this new place of yours!” he said, waving it off as no big deal.

Logan stood, relieved now that Y/N was here to handle things. “I’ll let you two catch up,” he murmured, retreating toward the kitchen.

“Thanks, Logan,” Y/N said softly, before turning back to her father. “You’ve met Logan?”

Daniel nodded. “Yeah, nice guy. We were just talking about his work—special ed teacher, right?”

“Yeah, he is,” Y/N replied, adjusting to the idea of her dad sitting in her apartment, chatting with Logan of all people.

A moment later, the door opened, and Wade strolled in after his shift at the bar, his usual grin plastered across his face. He spotted Y/N and her dad sitting in the living room and raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, what’d I miss?” Wade asked, dropping his bag by the door.

“Wade, this is my dad,” Y/N introduced, trying to keep the situation from becoming even more awkward.

Wade immediately brightened. “Ah, family!” he announced with his signature charm, shaking her dad’s hand. “I’m Wade. Roommate number one— the one who makes sure this place doesn’t burn down.”

Y/N tried not to laugh while Logan snorted from the kitchen. Daniel chuckled, easily won over by Wade’s humor. “Nice to meet you, Wade.”

Wade flashed Y/N a grin before slipping off toward the kitchen, joining Logan who was standing by the counter, quietly observing from a distance.

“So that’s Y/N’s dad?” Wade asked, leaning against the counter. “What’s the verdict?”

Logan shrugged slightly, glancing back at the living room. “Talks a whole lot. Very intense. Protective. Y/N’s surprised by the visit.”

Wade crossed his arms, clearly intrigued. “I know, she was at the bar when you called. Did he mention why he’s here?”

Logan shook his head. “Not really. Just asked me a thousands questions in less than ten minutes. I didn’t want to pry.”

“Good call,” Wade nodded, then peered over the counter toward the living room again. “He staying for dinner?”

“No idea.” Logan replied, though the question hung between them as they began preparing something simple.

From the kitchen, Wade called out, “Mr. Y/L/N, are you staying for dinner?”

Before Y/N could answer, her dad jumped in with a grin. “Absolutely.”

Y/N shot a look in Wade and Logan's direction, as if to say, I wasn’t planning this, but they simply exchanged a glance between themselves. They shared a silent understanding— something about the situation was off. Wade raised an eyebrow, while Logan gave a subtle nod, signaling that they were both on alert now.

With no turning back, they set about preparing a simple meal, something easy but filling— pasta and a salad. While they worked, the soft hum of Y/N and her father’s conversation continued in the background, though they couldn’t help but tune in occasionally, catching snippets of what they were saying.

———

“So,” she began, choosing her words carefully. “What brings you here, Dad?”

Daniel leaned back on the couch, his eyes scanning the room. “Do I need a reason to visit my daughter?”

Y/N gave a small, hesitant smile. “No, of course not. But you didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“Wanted to surprise you,” he replied with a shrug, though there was something in his tone that sounded off. “Thought I’d check out your new place. Make sure it’s... decent.”

Y/N nodded slowly, sensing the subtle judgment in his words. “It’s fine, Dad. I like it here.” She let her eyes drift to the kitchen where Logan and Wade were working, grateful for the slight distraction.

Her father followed her gaze, raising an eyebrow when he saw Logan. “So… Logan, right?”

“Yeah,” Y/N said quickly, confused as to where this was going. “What about him?

“He seems like a solid guy. You sure you two are just... roommates?” He asked and she bit the inside of her cheek, bracing herself for where this conversation might go.

“Yes, Dad. We’re just roommates. That’s all.”

“Alright, alright, but what about Wade?” he asked,

“What's going on with you?" she blurted, raising an eyebrow as a grin threatened to break through.

Her father held up his hands in defense. “Just asking. Your mother and I used to talk about stuff like this, you know.”

Y/N blinked, caught off guard by the mention of her mom. Her father rarely brought her up that way, especially with how tense things still were between her parents, even decades after the divorce. It was usually more an inappropriate comment her mother didn’t deserve.

“Oh, really?” she asked carefully, not sure where this was heading.

“Yeah,” Daniel continued, his tone softening a little. “Back before things went... south. We used to wonder what you’d end up doing, where you’d live, and who you’d end up with. She always had these big ideas. Thought you’d find someone nice. Maybe settle down with a guy like one of these guys.”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond but paused, momentarily stunned by his gentler tone. Her father, for once, wasn’t launching into some bitter comment about her mom.

“She really said that?” Y/N asked softly, her curiosity outweighing her hesitance.

Daniel nodded with a smile. “She did. We were always so worried about you, you know? But it wasn’t just about who you’d end up with. We would imagine your entire future, what career you’ll end up choosing, how many dogs you would have— cause you always wanted one and we always told you ‘You’ll get one when you'll have your own house’…”

Y/N was quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. It had been so long since her father had spoken about her childhood without bitterness that she almost didn’t know how to respond.

“I didn’t know you guys had my whole life planned,” Y/N chuckled, her voice softer now, her guard slowly lowering.

Daniel glanced over at her, smiling. “Yeah, well…we did that with your brother— although we didn’t expect any of his life choices, but that’s another story.”

For the first time in years, Y/N felt a connection with her father. A sense of mutual understanding that didn’t come laced with tension or resentment. It was brief, but it was something.

She smiled, a real one this time. “Thanks for telling me all that, Dad. That means a lot.”

Daniel reached over and squeezed her hand, his touch firm but comforting. “I missed you, honey.”

Y/N smiled, feeling the weight between them lighten. “I missed you too.”

Before the moment could grow too emotional, Logan called from the kitchen, “Dinner’s ready.”

Y/N looked toward the kitchen and then back at her father, who was already starting to stand.

“Well, let’s see what your roommates can do in the kitchen,” Daniel said with a faint smirk.

As they made their way to the table, Y/N couldn’t help but think that they’d actually had a good conversation. One that hadn’t ended with her dad tearing her mom down or leaving her feeling caught in the middle. Maybe things weren’t perfect between them, but for now, this small moment of peace was enough.

Daniel took the seat next to Y/N, while Logan and Wade sat on the opposite side. The conversation started politely enough, with Wade doing his usual job of keeping things light. He shared stories from his bartending adventures, as he always did, earning a few chuckles from James, who seemed to enjoy Wade’s humor.

The smell of the simple pasta dish Logan and Wade had thrown together filled the apartment. The atmosphere was initially warm, with everyone engaged in casual conversation.

“So, Wade,” Y/N’s dad said as he twirled his fork through the spaghetti. “Y/N told me you're a comedian?”

Wade grinned. “Yeah, I make people laugh for a living. Or at least try to. It’s a tough crowd out there.”

Daniel nodded. “Well, we could all use more of that these days.”

The conversation ebbed and flowed easily at first, moving between work, the city, and Y/N’s life in the apartment. Wade cracked jokes here and there, and Logan offered his quiet, thoughtful input when needed. It felt comfortable, almost like a normal family dinner.

But then, the conversation shifted.

“So, Y/N,” her dad began, his tone changing ever so slightly. “Have you heard from your mom lately? Still living the California dream, I assume.”

Y/N felt her body tense, and she shot a quick glance at Logan, who was watching her father closely. Wade picked up on the shift too, though he didn’t say anything.

“She’s doing fine,” Y/N replied cautiously. “We talked last week, actually. She’s been busy with work, but she’s good.”

Her dad gave a small, dismissive shrug. “Work. Right. And still with that guy, I suppose?”

Y/N's eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes. His name is Paul.”

Her father sighed, shaking his head. “I just don’t get it. She moves halfway across the country, barely checks in, and now with your brother all the way in Europe—”

“Dad,” Y/N interrupted. “She didn’t move across the country to get away from us. She moved for herself. And we’re fine. Sam and I are doing just fine.”

Daniel scoffed softly, setting his fork down. “I’m not saying you’re not fine, Y/N. I just don’t see how a mother can be so far away from her kids and not feel guilty. If I were her, I’d—”

“Well, you’re not her,” Y/N cut in, her voice sharper now. “You’ve been divorced for years. She didn’t abandon us, and she still cares. You don’t need to keep bringing it up like she left us to fend for ourselves.”

Logan’s jaw tightened as he glanced between Y/N and her father, sensing the rising tension. Wade shifted uncomfortably in his seat but stayed silent, eyes flicking to Logan for some kind of cue.

“I’m just saying,” Daniel continued, his voice lower now, “she could have stayed. Made more of an effort. But she left.”

“She didn’t leave us, Dad,” Y/N said, her patience wearing thin. “And honestly, Sam and I— we’re adults. We didn’t need her to stay and ‘raise’ us anymore. You’ve moved on with your life. Why can’t you let her do the same?”

Her father’s face tightened, and the air in the room grew heavy with unspoken frustration. For a moment, it felt like everyone at the table was holding their breath.

“I know you’re grown, Y/N,” Daniel said quietly, his eyes hard but sad. “But I don’t think a parent ever stops worrying about their kids. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Y/N sighed, trying to keep her voice steady. “I am okay, Dad. But you’ve got to stop blaming her for everything. This is your issue, not mine. Mom’s living her life, and I’m living mine.”

The room was thick with tension now, and no one knew quite what to say. Y/N’s father looked down at his plate, clearly feeling the weight of her words. Logan glanced at Wade, who shot him a silent look of understanding—they both knew when to stay out of family affairs.

After a long pause, Daniel finally spoke, his voice quieter than before and looking at all the people at the table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag things down.”

Y/N softened and shook her head. “I know, Dad. But you’ve got to let this go.”

There was another silence before he nodded slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

The mood at the table lightened just slightly as everyone tried to return to their meals, though the weight of the conversation still hung in the air.

For a moment, there was silence, the air thick with unspoken words. Then, as if on cue, Wade jumped in, his voice cheerful and light. “You know what’s great about family dinners? Dessert! Who’s ready for some ice cream?”

The sudden change in tone broke the tension, and Y/N gave Wade a grateful look. Her dad, too, seemed to relax, chuckling at Wade’s enthusiasm. “Ice cream, huh? Now that’s something I like to hear.”

As Wade made his way to the kitchen, Y/N’s father glanced around the apartment again. His eyes landed on the fridge, and something seemed to catch his attention. “Hey, is that the picture I think it is?”

Y/N followed his gaze, realizing he was looking at the family photo she had put up weeks ago.

“Yeah,” Y/N replied, her voice softer now. “Wade and Logan insisted that I should put it up when I moved in.”

Daniel stood and walked over to the fridge, staring at the picture for a long moment. His expression shifted, a mixture of nostalgia and something else—regret, maybe. He ran a hand through his hair, his voice quiet when he finally spoke. “That was a good day. One of the last before things started to go wrong.”

Y/N felt a lump form in her throat. Something about the way he was looking at the photo made her heart ache.

“It was,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Daniel turned to face her, his eyes softer now. “You’ve grown up so much, Y/N. I don’t say it enough, but I’m proud of you. No matter what happened between me and your mom, I’m proud of the person you’ve become. And I’m sorry for…all the mess that we caused.”

Y/N’s heart clenched at his words. She gave him a small, genuine smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

The moment hung in the air for a beat longer before Wade returned with bowls of ice cream, his voice breaking through the heaviness. “Alright, dessert is served! I got vanilla, chocolate, and this weird one Logan bought—pistachio whatever. Anyone feeling adventurous?”

Daniel chuckled, the warmth returning to his expression. “I’ll stick with chocolate, thanks.”

The atmosphere lightened once again, and they all sat back down at the table, enjoying their ice cream and talking a bit more.

As the plates were cleared and the remnants of dinner were packed away, Y/N walked her father to the door, feeling the tension of the evening settle uncomfortably between them. The earlier argument still simmered, but it had cooled to a manageable level.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” her dad said quietly, standing in the doorway. “It’s just hard, you know? Seeing you grown up, dealing with your own stuff, and not being able to do anything about it.”

Y/N offered a small, tired smile. “I know, Dad. And I appreciate that you care. But I’ve got this. You don’t need to keep fighting old battles.”

Daniel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I just still see you as my little girl. Hard to let that go sometimes.”

Y/N stepped forward and hugged him tightly. “I’ll always be your little girl, Dad. But you’ve got to trust that I know what I’m doing.”

Her father hugged her back, his arms wrapping around her in a way that felt both protective and regretful. “I’m sorry for bringing all that up. It wasn’t fair.”

Y/N pulled back slightly, meeting his eyes. “It’s okay. Just…next time, maybe we can talk about something else?”

He smiled. “Deal.”

With one last hug, Daniel stepped out into the hallway. “I’ll call you soon. Let me know if you ever need anything.”

“I will.” Y/N said, watching as her dad gave her one last nod before heading down the hallway.

When she closed the door, Y/N leaned against it, letting out a long breath. It hadn’t gone perfectly, but at least it was over. She turned around to find Logan and Wade standing there, watching her with quiet concern.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N began, her voice barely above a whisper. “I had no idea he was going to show up like that. I didn’t mean to put you both through all that drama.”

Wade, who was leaning casually against the kitchen counter, waved it off. “Are you kidding? This is mild compared to some of the shit I’ve seen and heard.”

Logan stepped closer, his expression soft. “You don’t need to apologize. Family stuff happens. We’re in this with you.”

Y/N blinked, a small, grateful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Thanks, but it was just… a lot.”

Logan nodded. “We get it. You don’t choose your family, but you can make your own, you know?”

Wade chimed in with a grin. “And lucky for you, you’ve got us, the best family you could ever create.”

Y/N laughed softly, the warmth of their words settling into her chest. “Thanks, guys.”

Logan gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and Wade, sensing the need for space, stretched dramatically. “Alright, I’m out. This emotional rollercoaster wiped me out. I’ll catch you both in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Wade,” Y/N said, shaking her head with a smile as he disappeared into his room.

Logan gave Y/N a lingering look. “You good?”

She nodded, still trying to shake off the heavy emotions of the night. “Yeah. I just need a minute.”

Logan gave her a small nod. “Take your time. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight.”

Logan disappeared into his room as well, and Y/N sank into the couch. The living room was quiet now, and for a while, she let herself just breathe. The weight of the conversation with her dad still lingered, along with the tangled emotions from the night. She found herself staring at nothing, lost in her thoughts.

The hours slipped by unnoticed, the apartment dim and silent around her. She didn’t realize how late it had gotten until she heard the soft sound of footsteps approaching. Startled, Y/N turned her head to see Logan walking into the living room, his hair tousled from sleep.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice low, concerned.

Y/N let out a small, humorless laugh. “I thought you went to bed.”

“I did,” Logan said, sitting down on the couch beside her. “But I saw the lights were still on and thought you had fallen asleep here.”

Y/N sighed, her eyes fixed on the floor. “Sorry. I guess I didn’t realize how much time passed. I’ve just been… thinking.”

Logan watched her closely. “About what?”

Y/N shrugged, trying to find the words. “I don’t know. Everything, I guess. My dad, my mom, the divorce… I don’t want to cry about it. It feels like I’d be a little girl again, crying over something that happened so long ago. Like I can’t move on.”

Logan leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees as he looked at her. “It doesn’t matter how long ago it was. If it’s still hurting you, it’s okay to cry about it.”

Y/N shook her head, trying to swallow the lump forming in her throat. “But I shouldn’t. I’m not a kid anymore. Fuck, I’m a grown ass adult in my thirties. I can’t let this stuff affect me like it did back then.”

Logan's voice softened. “Y/N, you’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling. You don’t have to hold it in just because it’s been years. It’s still part of you.”

Y/N felt the tears prick at her eyes, but she fought to keep them at bay. “I don’t want to cry.”

“You don’t have to,” Logan said gently. “But if you do, I’m right here. You don’t have to do it alone.”

Y/N’s defenses crumbled at his words. She felt the dam break inside her, and before she could stop herself, the tears started to flow. At first, it was just a few quiet sobs, but soon she was genuinely crying, her shoulders shaking as the weight of everything she had been holding in finally spilled out.

Logan didn’t say a word. He simply shifted closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a comforting embrace. Y/N buried her face in his chest, her tears soaking his shirt, but Logan didn’t seem to mind. He just held her, letting her cry, offering nothing but his presence.

After a few minutes, Y/N’s sobs began to quiet. She stayed in Logan’s arms, feeling the warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek. It was calming, grounding.

“I hate this,” she whispered after a long pause, her voice hoarse. “I hate that it still hurts.”

“I know,” Logan murmured softly. “But it’s okay. You’ve been carrying it for a long time.”

Y/N wiped her eyes, her breathing evening out. “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Logan said.

Y/N sniffled, pulling back slightly to look at him. “Thank you. For being here.”

Logan gave her a small smile, his hand still resting on her shoulder. “I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”

She nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over her, and maybe something else. “Yeah. I do.”

After another long moment of silence, Logan shifted, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “You should get some sleep.”

She nodded. “You’re right. I got school tomorrow.”

Logan stood up and offered her a hand, helping her up from the couch. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Y/N smiled, feeling a little lighter. “You need to rest too, you know.”

Logan chuckled softly. “I will. But I’m not the one who just went through a rollercoaster of a night.”

Y/N gave him a grateful look as they walked toward their rooms. “Night, Logan. And… thanks again.”

Logan stopped at his door and gave her a soft smile. “See you tomorrow.”

With that, they each retreated to their rooms, leaving the quiet of the apartment to settle around them once more. But this time, the silence felt a little more peaceful, a little more comforting.

XXX

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