#people just don’t want to put the effort into establishing the understanding you need with mares to communicate

[captainderyn]

Does a book ever make you just…unreasonable angry enough that you’re like “FINE I’ll do it mySELF”

I picked up an adult equestrian book series, hoping it would scratch the itch that Heartland does but in book form (with more focus on competition and riding).

And while it did the former it also did the same old tired stereotypes/common thoughts that run rampant in equestrian circles such as:

1) “I’m just a girl with my perfect sweet darling angel gelding not like those nasty, PMS-y MARES who i barely want in my barn”

(there should be a sociological study why a sport dominated by women projects so much negative bias on the female horse) (also fuck you the two best horses I’ve ever worked with have both been mares you just won’t let go of your power complex and mares won’t let you boss them around without reason because it’s their JOB biologically to critically think to ensure herd survival)

2) “I love my thoroughbred so much it’s the bestest horse breed ever but so hated not like those overhyped warm bloods (only two horse types ever mentioned)”

(Maybe this one is just biased from spending 3 years in Kentucky horse country but…y’all chill. Explore some other horse breeds. OTTBs are fine. My mare is a mustang and she’s pretty sick and flashy in the show ring too)

3) “I’m an eventer I loooove cross country and dressage SUCKS. It’s actually the WORST and POINTLESS and I want to DIE OF BOREDOM”

(To keep it brief lol, a) most equestrian books are either eventing or western so this is why it drives me crazy, b) I’m a dressage rider who evented so maybe I’m biased but dressage is ✨literally the basis for your horse not face planting into your cross country fences✨ let’s stop hating on it.)

Is this all a little silly to be salty about lol? Perhaps. But it does make me want to, and inspired me to start a few months ago, a series that takes all three of these things and turns them on their heads. Because for every eventer who eats these books up, there’s going to be a dressage rider who would LOVE to see their discipline represented in something other than jabs and snide remarks.

[azullumi]

trying different types of kissing with scaramouche?💔 like forehead, neck kisses, hand or anything at all....

“say yes to heaven” ; wanderer/scaramouche

summary — ultimately, he really does just want to be loved, behind the many layers of him to hide all that yearning and longing. but how can he say it when love, for him, was a synonym to forgiveness; alternatively, different kisses with him, with each one signifying a progressing relationship.

pairing — scaramouche/wanderer (w/ gender-neutral reader) ; could imagine this with either but i wrote this with wanderer in mind

tags — established relationship, fluff, a little bit of angst, not proofread, 1.1k ; ficlet

note — i needed an excuse to write a fic that is just all about kissing him and also comforting him (but still, i hope u like this nonnieee!!)

i. hand

You hold his hand and press small kisses on his knuckles, a little bit ticklish it was for him but he doesn’t retract. The feeling of it makes something in his chest ache with an unfamiliar sensation, and he knows it’s not his heart because he never had any.

You kiss the back of his hand, an intimate gesture, like devotion, like he was something—or someone—that should be adored.

“I am no god.” He was no deity to be worshiped so why are you so gentle to him? He wasn’t made of glass nor is he fragile; he was born from ashes of a burned home, he was carved out of war and winter storms and everything that you could ever pray against, he was a symphony composed of nothing but bad luck and conflicting melodies—he was not the kind people would choose to be around, much less adore.

And as if you bear a part of him in your mind, you understood what he was trying to say, could hear the questions that tormented him, could see the conflicted look on him as he looks at you with a gaze that seems to scrutinize your being when only he is looking for an answer. He tries to look for a crack, a gap in your expression, so that he can look through it and see what you’re really thinking.

“You don’t have to be one to be loved.” You press one last kiss on his hand just as you finished speaking, looking up to him. Indigo blue orbs met yours in a gentle gaze, eyes filled with affection only for the other to drown in. If he could put all that he was feeling, all that he was asking and seeking an answer to, into a simple word, it all condenses to: why?

“Do you still have doubts?” You ask, despite knowing the answer. He opens his mouth only to close it again, looking for the words that he should say but chose to be silent instead. And you smile—not a beaming grin nor a subtle paint on your features, but something gentle and comforting as if you’re assuring him: it’s okay, I understand you. I know you.

“You’re not unloveable.”

Loving him wasn’t the hardest thing to do, it came to you naturally as if breathing but the man thinks otherwise. A burnt child who loves the fire will only hear the fact that he is loveable, people just choose not to.

“How do you know that?” You know him well enough to hear the way his voice trembles at the effort to allow himself to be vulnerable. Long was the fall of the tall and formidable walls that he built around him.

“You’re not unloveable.” You repeat, taking hold of his fingers to kiss his hand once more. “Am I not enough proof of that?”

ii. forehead and cheeks

You cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, an unspoken language of tenderness in which he took a long time to understand. When love and affection has finally been given to him after decades of yearning, he’s unsure of how to hold it in his hands—does he gently hold it with both? Every bit overwhelms him to the bone, the gratifying yet intense feeling seeps through his being and settles inside of him in a way that it slowly consumes the crevices of his mind, until all that is left of him is nothing but a starved man who only longs for the feeling of your skin against his own.

There was a flicker of warmth in his expression and he closed his eyes as he relished in your kindness, your hands cradling his cheeks with warmth that coaxed his entire existence, your lips pressing against his forehead softly. Then, you started to pepper his face with small kisses and the man could only surrender to your touch, a dance of vulnerability and intimacy as he crumbled into your hold.

No one has ever come this close to him (a closeness that was a stranger to the pages of his past, a tender note composed solely for him), no one and nothing.

You spoke, murmuring against his skin and close to his lips: “Sunshine.” Humor weaves through your tone, teasing the absurdity of the mismatched title and the man who wears it with subtle grace.

“Don’t call me that.” He snarks yet no bite. It’s ironically funny how you use that nickname on him despite him being the complete contrast of it; he stands as the living paradox of the word itself.

The sound of laughter bubbles up in your throat and you answer, “Why not? It suits you perfectly, don’t you think?”

What else should you call the man who grasps the warmth and tender light in his chest only the sun could give? To be with him was to sit in the autumn sunlight, to sleep in the comfort of your sheets when the rain patters against your window, to walk barefoot on the sand even if it feels like shards of glasses against your sole, to be with him was to simply exist; you’ve never met anyone who had the sun for a soul and he has never met anyone who had the stars in their eyes, and while you had the universe etched on the palm of your hands, he has your name engraved on his.

iii. lips

Your lips ghost against his own, albeit in a tantalizing manner, teasing and quite slow—but he wasn’t a patient man.

“Are you going to kiss me or what?” He whispers and you don't waver at his straightforwardness, having been used to this note. There was no hostility in his tone, just pure and raw desperation and desire to feel you.

You could imagine the eye roll he would give you had he not had his eyes closed at the moment, could imagine the frown on his expression while he spoke and could imagine it faltering soon when you finally kissed him, slow as if to savor the softness of his lips and how it reminds you of spring; he could not properly express the warmth on his chest at the thought of how you love him when he still tasted of heartache and war.

You part from him but remained close, foreheads pressed against one another, breathing heavily, and looking into each other’s eyes. You wanted to tell him that you will find him in every lifetime, but the silence between you two was enough to convey such strong affections that you could hear him respond: And I will love you in each one.

(And he somehow finds himself thinking at the same, this is what he deserves. He’d do these, these vulnerable moments where he lays himself bare for you to touch and hold even if you’ll see the scars and cracks on his skin, the falling and getting hurt despite the fear, the burning and constant searching for something, he’ll do it all over again—if it’s you.)

If someone were to ask him what forgiveness tastes like, he would utter your name—everything that he has ever longed for came in the form of you. And he fears that this longing will last forever even while you’re here, that this longing will grow even when he crumbles to dust, that this longing will outlive this body and weave life into the earth that swallows your existence.

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

🧚🏽‍♀️𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒶 𝒫𝒾𝓁ℯ: 𝒢𝓊𝒾𝒹𝒶𝓃𝒸ℯ ℱ𝓇ℴ𝓂 ℳℴ𝓉𝒽ℯℛ 𝒢ℴ𝒹𝒹ℯ𝓈𝓈 🧚🏽‍♀️

Welcome to 10 Days, 10 Posts from The Cosmic Cauldron! Over the next ten days, I’ll be sharing a blend of astrology and tarot posts, each designed to spark your curiosity and guide your journey. If you find my content interesting, fascinating, or engaging, be sure to click the follow button for more! Ready to dive deeper into your personal journey? Head to my homepage and book a reading — you won’t regret it.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 1

Here, I am your Mother Goddess, offering you some advice for your healing journey and your current stage of life. First, I want you to focus on positive things. Sometimes we lose track of the good, but it’s important to recognize the positives each day. I encourage you to write down or verbally affirm three positive things each day, even if it’s just speaking them to yourself in the mirror. One of those positive things should be about you—how you look, how you act, and appreciating yourself. You need to learn to appreciate and affirm yourself. This will help you stay positive and, more importantly, build confidence. Self-acceptance is essential for you right now.

I also want you to stop being so impulsive and spontaneous. While those traits can be exciting, I believe this is a time for you to slow down and create a plan of action. Rather than acting on a whim, take your time and be patient. Life will unfold in its own time, and you have many years to do everything you want to do. Focus on what you can do right now—establish that in the present. Accept where you are in your journey, including the pain, your past, and even the parts of yourself that you might not like. Even if something doesn’t feel wholesome or it makes you feel less confident, accept it. Acceptance is a crucial part of your life right now.

Instead of seeking validation from others or focusing on what others think of you, focus on self-acceptance. This will be freeing for you. By focusing inward, you can cultivate patience with where you are right now. Instead of rushing to move forward, allow yourself to embrace your present reality. Accept where you are, what you have, and what you can do with the tools and resources available to you right now.

You need to be more intentional. Take your time, plan, and stop rushing. Don’t expect things to happen randomly. Accept your reality and use what you have in this moment. Focus on yourself—your work, your effort, and your development. This phase of your life is about self-acceptance, and it’s time to put in the work. Lay down the groundwork, pay attention to the details, and don’t skip over them. Set goals, make plans, and be intentional. This requires inner work, not trying to gain approval from others. Start liking yourself and put the effort into developing your true self during this time.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 2

Here I am, your Mother Goddess, offering you advice for the healing stage you are currently in. One thing you need to focus on is that not everyone is going to agree with you, resonate with you, or be on the same page as you. Don’t try to force your way or get people to see your perspective. Some people are only interested in asserting their own views instead of understanding yours. Not everyone will be understanding, and it’s important to accept that. If someone is not receptive to what you’re saying, accept them for who they are. Trying to change their perspective or improving yourself to fit their expectations is only exhausting your energy. It’s causing you to become frustrated, aggressive, and out of alignment with your true character. You’re investing your energy into people who aren’t reciprocating the positivity you deserve.

Right now, your focus should be on self-protection. Protect your energy and find ways to shield yourself from external influences. Outside pressures are strong, but this is a sign that you need a stronger core. Start journaling and reflect on who you are, your opinions, values, and beliefs. Stand firm in them. 2025 is the year to stand strong in who you truly are. Be clear when communicating with others, and let them know that while you are emotional, you won’t allow your emotions to dictate how you communicate. A clear mind is essential for you right now.

This period calls for you to step away from the crowd and reconnect with yourself. Take time to meditate, journal, and channel your thoughts and words in a way that isn’t excessive or full of resentment, bitterness, or anger. Aim for balance and communicate from a place of confidence and clarity. Accept that there are situations in your life you may not feel good about, but to protect yourself, you need to understand how you ended up in those situations. Self-protection involves understanding the root cause of your circumstances.

If you’re grieving, frustrated, or sad about something, ask yourself: What is the core of this emotion? Did you put yourself in this situation? Did you lack boundaries or intention? Did you lack clarity? These are the necessary questions you must ask to start honoring your happiness, joy, and peace. Self-protection is about honoring these aspects of yourself. By understanding the experiences that led you astray from your true self, you can set new intentions to focus on your happiness, joy, and peace moving forward.

Let go of the idea that everyone needs to agree with your life or respect your decisions. Not everyone will approach you in a respectful way. Now is the time for you to take space for yourself, to re-establish your sense of self-protection. This will help you avoid falling into the same cycles of hurt and pain. Let go of your defensiveness, anger, hostility, frustration, and animosity. Shift your focus inward so you can protect yourself from negative situations and move closer to happiness, joy, peace, and love.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 3

Hi, here I am, your Mother Goddess, offering advice for the healing stage you’re currently in. This period is all about honesty and truth. You need to tap into both. The thing is, you’ve been seeing things through colored glasses, perhaps a bit of delusion. And that’s okay—sometimes delusion helps us manifest things, but it can also hinder our authenticity and clarity when it comes to facing the honest truth in our lives, which is necessary to heal wounds.

It seems like you’re going through a lot emotionally and mentally. There’s a lot happening in your life that you simply don’t enjoy, and it feels overwhelming. It’s important now to be honest with yourself about where you’re at. Don’t sugarcoat it—take the time to sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself. Write in your journal, make a video, or even record voice notes on your phone. The key is to be clear and honest with yourself. I sense there’s some self-deception going on, perhaps because you’re repressing emotions or avoiding dealing with them. But these emotions are affecting the way you think, clouding your mind, making it chaotic and hectic.

We need to get you out of this chaotic place, and the way to do that is through clarity and honesty. This period in your life demands this. You need to confront those truths, even though they will be hard. It may feel like you’re being tossed around in a blender, shaken to your core, but guess what? It will lead to something great. You must explore your own truth and authenticity now.

Your mind is cloudy, and when you start confronting these truths—when you acknowledge that your life is not where you want it to be—you’ll start to understand the root of the problems and where they came from. Look at the past for what it truly was, not what you wish it had been. Accept that certain things happened in the past, and no longer view them through rose-colored glasses.

Once you can see how your emotions were affected by those situations, you’ll begin to understand how those emotions have clouded your mind. Your mind has become unclear, scrambled, and chaotic. Now, you need to figure out how to release these thoughts and emotions. Journaling is a great tool for this. Whatever method works for you—writing, recording, or speaking—use it to clear your mind. Brain dump everything so that you can think and communicate more clearly. This will help you start engaging with the world more authentically, without your mind holding you back.

Trust me, facing the truth and being honest with yourself will cause some upheaval in your life, but over time, it will smooth things out. It will lead you to live a beautiful life, rooted in authenticity. You’ll be able to show up as yourself, and the old wounds will begin to heal because you will be living in your truth.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 4

Hello, here I am, your Mother Goddess, offering guidance for the healing period you’re in. This time calls for you to let go. The theme right now is simply to release—the anxiety, the overthinking, the self-doubt. I know it’s not easy, but I’m here to guide you through it.

The first thing I want you to realize is that things you think are personal are often not as personal as you believe. People act based on their own thoughts, not yours. And while they may interfere with what you want, you cannot allow their actions to become a reflection of who you are. Instead, allow people to just be. Let them be, and choose how you want them in your life. You hold the power, not to control their actions, but to decide how you respond and what role they play in your life based on their actions.

Instead of constantly getting caught up in your feelings, always feeling the need to defend yourself or speak up, and getting into altercations with people who don’t think like you—let it go. This is the time to release so much: old habits that no longer serve you, outdated beliefs about what success is, and what you believe is good for you. It’s time to adopt new, positive beliefs rooted in femininity, love, nurturance, art, and creativity. You need to become more fluid, allowing yourself to enjoy life more and embrace the fruits of your labor.

Take your self-care to the next level. Really invest in a solid routine that focuses on nurturing yourself. Change your environment if necessary. If your room or house feels stale, change it. If you’re wearing the same clothes, switch it up. You need change. Let go of all the things you’ve been holding on to, believing you needed them. A key area is your self-care routine. If you don’t have one, it’s time to establish one. If you already do, then re-establish it for 2025. Let go of last year’s habits and create new ones to care for yourself. What will you do for yourself this year?

It’s time to let go of the past. Let go of what you thought you had to be, and choose who you want to be in this moment. Focus on filling your cup and prioritizing your emotional well-being. If you’ve been focusing outwardly on others, it’s time to shift inward. Start small—maybe it’s watching a movie with a tub of ice cream, or going to your favorite restaurant, but begin somewhere. Shift from giving to others all the time and start giving to yourself. It’s time to look up and nurture yourself.

Stop twiddling your thumbs—make decisions for yourself. It’s time to let go of the old. Apologize to others, accept your own shortcomings, forgive, but most importantly—move on. You need to release and let go. Write things down and then burn the paper as a symbol of release. Record a video expressing all your feelings and thoughts, then lock it away. In a year, look back and see how far you’ve come.

Letting go is essential now. Let go of old possessions, material items, emotions, lack of forgiveness, neglecting self-care, focusing too much on others, defensiveness, anger, animosity, frustration, anxiety, self-doubt, and worry. Free yourself to move forward and focus on being present. Ground yourself in the now, not in the old version of you. Focus on who you are becoming, and begin building this version of yourself from the ground up.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 16

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

Kate: …Nn…Where is this?

I regained consciousness on the cold floor.

(That’s right…I ended up smelling something that came from behind me…)

(is this…a warehouse…somewhere?)

My head still felt heavy as I raised it, and stood up.

(I’m not tied up…)

I sighed in relief, but then—

Kate: …!

When I sensed a presence, I turned around and saw a boy and girl looking pale and trembling.

(Who are these kids?)

(...Could it be that—)

~~ Flashback ~~

Barkeep: These days you hear a lot of young men and women get attacked or go missing.

--

Liam: Lately, young people have been getting attacked or going missing.

Ellis: Do you mean the incidents Victor and Will are investigating?

~~ End flashback ~~

(...Did I end up getting involved in the incident?)

While I sat there in surprise, I suddenly heard footsteps from the darkness.

Man in a black hood: Looks like you’re all awake.

One, two, three, four men with black hoods over their eyes appeared.

(These were the criminals who attacked me…)

They each held either a gun or a knife.

(I thought I was glad that I wasn’t tied up…How naive)

The fact that I had such freedom meant that there was no way you’d get away.

Depending on what they do, my life could be taken instantly.

I went pale with fear and fell to my knees.

(Calm down…I’m a fairytale keeper trained by Roger)

(Out of everyone here, I’m the one most familiar with “evil”)

I felt for the gun strapped to my garter belt. Luckily that wasn’t taken away.

(Everyone should soon realize that I’ve disappeared)

And then Crown…Roger will come save me.

The evil Crown was the best group you could have as your ally.

(Besides, Crown’s been following this case)

(If they thought that saving me would help solve this case, then they’d be on it now)

I just had to wait.

(...I’ll need to buy some time)

(Or else…the kids and I—)

A shiver ran down my spine when it felt like the Grim Reaper was drawing near. I mustered up all my strength and stood in front of kids to protect them.

Kate: …Why are you doing this?

Man in a black hood: I don’t see a point in explaining ourselves to someone who’s about to die.

(“Someone who’s about to die”...)

Meaning they plan to kill us in the end.

(We’re not being held for ransom)

(They kidnap random youths)

(But…why would they kill all these people?)

I didn’t understand their intentions.

That made me anxious, and after putting all that effort into standing, my legs started shaking.

Look for a chance to escape

Beg for your life

Provoke him +4 +4

Kate: …It’s not like you’re going to let us run. If we’re waiting to die, then wouldn’t it be nice to have something to take with us to the afterlife? But if you can’t even give us that…then do what you want.

A look of annoyance crossed his face and he gulped audibly.

But the provocation did its job and the hooded man started to talk with an air of confidence.

Man in a black hood: In this world, there’s a thing called “being useless”. Withered flowers, abandoned buildings, dead people. However, there are some people who find value in these.

Kate: There are people who value us even after we die?

(I think…Roger and I had a conversation like this before)

~~ Flashback ~~

Kate: Roger, what’s this law written here in “Dissection Laws”?

Roger: As you know, medicine’s advancing pretty rapidly in England. With that comes a lot of dissections performed by doctors and researchers. Now here’s a question. What do you think the problem with this is?

Kate: …They run out of specimens to perform dissections on?

Roger: Correct. So then people go and collect human specimens however they can.

Kate: Ah, I’ve heard of people who dig up graves to steal corpses.

Roger: That’s why the “Dissection Law” was established to prevent that and ensure cadavers were acquired legally.

~~ End flashback ~~

(...Being regulated by law increases the shortage of human specimens)

That’s why they were killing young people.

Not for ransom.

But the corpses had value.

With this, I came to a conclusion—

Kate: Are you all doctors or researchers who need human specimens?

Man in a black hood: Oh? You’re clever…Who are you?

Kate: I don’t have a name to share.

Man in a black hood: Hmm, cheeky. You’re not entirely wrong, but… Let’s stop chatting. My client wants silent offerings.

The hooded man took something out.

What reflected the dim light dully was—

(A knife…)

--

Roger: This is supposed to be the base, but there’s nothing here…Did we get it wrong?

When they entered, the warehouse was only filled with silence and the smell of dust.

Nica: It’s too early to give up, no? These places tend to have dummies. Like hidden passageways or hidden doors.

Roger held up a finger to stop him from talking.

Roger: …I can “hear” something. There are people in the basement.

Nica: Oh, so that’s abnormal hearing. I thought it had its limitations, but it’s pretty useful.

Ale: Arf arf.

Jude: The dumb dog found somethin’.

Picking up Ale who was sniffing around a wooden crate and moving said crate out of the way revealed—

Roger: A hidden passageway.

Nica: See, I knew it. That means you’re likely right.

They descended into the hidden passageway.

At the base of the stairs, a lone candle casted a shadow on the wall.

Roger: There’s no hiding spots though. Guess we’ll have to get out.

After they emerged, someone saw the shadows their shadows on the wall.

Man with mouth covered: …Who’s there!

10 men appeared, all with their faces covered by cloth.

Jude: Oi, quack. Keep goin’. Princess will be dead if ya don’t hurry.

Roger: …Jude

Jude: Huh? What’s with that face? It’s on your conscience if she dies. Go.

Roger: Sorry. I’ll waive your medical bill. Don’t die, Jude.

With that, Roger ran into the darkness.

Man with mouth covered: Hey, one’s running away. After him!.

The once quiet underground  space turned into a warzone full of angry shouts.

Nica: Oh, I caught something good. You might look mean, but you’re a quite the compassionate fellow aren’t you?

Jude: Don’t think ya got time to chat when you’re gettin’ attacked from behind.

Man with mouth covered: …Die!

Nica: …

Less than a second after noticing the shadow on a ceiling, a gunshot rang out from Nica’s hand.

He killed his target with precision without even looking.

Nica: Unfortunately, I’m not easy to kill. You chose the wrong people to fight.

Man with eyes covered: …Shit, I thought I had you…Gah.

Jude broke the man’s jaw with the tip of his shoe.

Jude: Shaddup.

Jude: …Who the hell are ya.

Cobalt blue eyes smiled at the cold gaze.

Nica: Nica Schwartz, a member of the German Empire’s Vogel. It’s cruel that you’ve forgotten after I’ve already introduced myself. I have a glass heart you know.

Jude: I’m not imaginin’ things when I say you’re too experienced for a mere lapdog. How’d you know ‘bout his abnormal hearin’?

Nica: Don’t worry, I know about you too. Jude Jazza, the president of a trading company. A company that deals in materials and food that don’t often face changes in demand, as well as luxury items and jewelry… You’re also skilled in handling what’s trending in the market. Having a diverse range of products limits risk, so you must be making a lot of money. …Want me to keep going?

Jude: Tch, all that snoopin’s makes me sick.

Nica: You need to know someone to get along with them. Don’t you think we’d get along, Mr. President?

Nica smiled suggestively. Then, multiple footsteps approached.

It appeared that the mens’ colleagues noticed that something unusual happened in the basement and assembled.

Nica: It’s rude to interrupt when I’m trying to solicit* someone. Let’s finish you off quickly.

Jude: Careful I don’t kick you by accident, Vogel lech.

Nica: That’s my line.

--

Meanwhile—The noises underground haven’t reached the warehouse where the kidnapped youths were being held.

Man in a black hood: Let’s stop chatting. My client wants silent offerings.

Kate: …

I gasped at the dull glint of the knife.

Man in a black hood: Ah, yes. You lot, make sure they only get one stab in the stomach. Our client wants the bodies as clean as possible…Ugh, drugging would’ve been easier.

Another man had warned the man with the knife out.

(There are 4 people…My gun has seven rounds. I can take them)

(However)

—Am I able to kill people?

Kidnapped girl: *sob* …No, I don’t want to die…

Kidnapped boy: Me too…Getting killed…In a place like this…

(...Don’t be scared, don’t hesitate)

(They need to be condemned for taking so many lives)

To not arouse suspicion, I slowly reached under my skirt and then pulled out my gun.

(Roger gave me this gun for self-defense)

(But…Now’s the time to use it)

I hated myself for being weak.

I felt frustrated and wanted to change, so I decided to get stronger by being with Roger.

(Roger would definitely kill them all)

An image of him shouldering the guilt while taking however many lives with his rifle popped up in my mind.

(That’s why, I—these people, kill evil)

I held my gun up and placed a finger on the trigger.

(...)

But my finger was shaking— 

Kate: Ah.

The bullet I resolved to fire went way off the mark and made a hole in the wall.

The hooded man turned at the sound and looked at me with my gun still aimed.

Man in a black hood: Pfft, hahahaha! You use a gun like a child playing with a toy.

Kate: Eek…

He grabbed my arm and took my gun away.

Man in a black hood: I’ll show you how you use a gun properly…When you want to kill someone.

Kate: …

The feeling of the barrel of the gun pressed against my temple was a firsthand lesson in the price of failure.

(Ah…Damn)

(So this is the end…)

The only sound I could hear was my own heartbeat, yet as I stared into the darkness, I wished that I could see Roger’s face one last time.

(Farewell, Roger…)

Letter | Next

-

*The word Nica uses can also mean flirt, hit on, make a pass at :3

[zmediaoutlet]

spn20rewatch, 1.06: "So you lie to them."

A lot is made of the way that the Winchester boys grew up isolated. Raised to be soldiers, moved from town to town. That should lead to a particular kind of raw-edged unsocialized set of feral outsiders -- but Sam and Dean are thoroughly not that. A large part of why, I think, is that they were always enrolled in school (until Dean aged out). They actually had lots of opportunity to engage with normal people, even if the relationships they formed weren't necessarily deep. To borrow from Fight Club, they had plenty of 'single serving friends' -- good for a short time, but not for a long time. This practice is how they're both so good with people -- they don't come off as all that strange in normal interactions when they're not working, because they're just... not that strange, at least on the surface. They're good with people. They're just not good long-term.

When Sam goes to college, part of the stated goal is for there to be a normal life -- or a life at all, because he doesn't seem to include the rambling hunting existence as a valid option. A big part of that normalcy included finding a girlfriend and making friends. Makes sense, especially since he must have passed through dozens of schools with pre-established friend groups that he could see he'd never really be part of. After a while he'd know there was no point in trying to integrate, if they were only going to be in that school for a few months. Stanford gave him the opportunity to put down some roots, to really engage, and it seems from what little we see that he made a good effort. ...But.

DEAN: You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies? SAM: Why not? DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell them? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doing? SAM: I tell them I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell them I needed some time off after Jess. DEAN: Oh, so you lie to them. SAM: No. I just don’t tell them… everything. DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, telling the truth is far worse. SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious? DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period. SAM: You’re kind of anti-social, you know that? [...] DEAN: Dude, what kind of people are you hanging out with? SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer. DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

We'll learn in a later episode how well it went for Dean when he shared the family secrets with someone, so his attitude here is understandable. That said, when Rebecca finds out that something monstrous is happening with Sam, she doesn't completely flip out -- the evidence is in front of her, and she appreciates Sam's help. So, maybe Dean's wrong about this. ...But we never see Rebecca again, and there's no indication that Sam actually kept up with her or Zack after this hunt.

Sam also never told Jessica the truth about his life, and he doubles down on that choice when he tells Dean in episode one that Jessica was never going to know. He thinks there can be a partition between the hunting life (that doesn't even count as life, and is dangerous and bad and must be kept secret) and the "real" life in the daylight, and sees no issue in closing his entire past and large parts of himself away. It's safer, and better, and he'll be able to get through it and have that normal life he always said he wanted.

It doesn't work that way, though, and not only because the plot intervened. We've already had the moral structure of this universe established and it is not acceptable to ignore those things you could have done something about, with your knowledge and skills. Sam's a hunter, got trained that way for ten years, and the pretense that he can be wholly in these friendships (or romantic relationships) while partitioning away a massive part of his history and personality is a farce that was doomed to end. His friends didn't know him because he couldn't let them know him. He says himself, he never really fit in. The 'normal life' he was after wasn't ever going to be an option. He understands that, by the end of the episode; accepting it will take a little longer. At least he and Dean are freaks together.

[inafieldofstarflowers]

hello madi!! how are you?

i was wondering about your thoughts on the various jean ships? :)

-@you-know-i-get-itt

hi gia !!

i’m slightly stressed by life but have fun weekend plans, so it evens out :)

after some thought about this question i think the only jean ships i can speak on are with kevin, renee, neil, and jeremy because i don’t have enough thoughts about others to speak on them (also this got longer than I thought so ~my bad~)

Renee: I do like them together however I also think Renee was right when she said they were the right people, wrong time. Renee meets Jean and makes a point of keeping in touch with him, and then goes to great lengths to help get him out of the Nest, and I think that her offering him love without expecting something in return is super important for him as he starts to heal, because the whole time he's known her, she's been showing him that, in her eyes, he's worth a lot outside of anything he can do, which directly contrasts his life with the Ravens. Whether in a romantic way or not, I think understanding the value Jean places on his relationship with Renee is necessary for a complete picture of him as a character/his growth.

Jeremy: (I may be biased because I just love Jeremy BUT) I love what we've seen of their relationship so far--Jeremy does initially get USC to bring Jean in for Kevin, but like Renee, Jeremy makes efforts from the actual start of his relationship with Jean to help him because he wants the best for Jean, and while it definitely hasn't been perfect (because they're college students and Jean is healing from the trauma of literally being tortured and Jeremy doesn't know that), there's been consistent work to establish boundaries and build up a support network, and the fact that Jean is willing to tell Jeremy when he's crossed a line is a big deal. I'm interested to see how things develop as we learn more about Jeremy because right now I could see it going lots of different ways, but as things stand I support it as a long term thing (in which Jean takes time to heal before entering a relationship)

Kevin: Kevin and Jean give toxic situationship in a way that I genuinely don't think either of them could have avoided, because the root cause of it is that their bonding happened while they were being deeply traumatized--basically, I think that the two of them being in a relationship would be deeply unhealthy, but that it would be unhealthy in an incredibly compelling "I need you even though you're bad for me and this is actively working against my personal growth sort of way, which offers a lot of room for character exploration. I think that the balance they have of trusting and defending each other while maintaining bitterness/guilt over what they went through (and specifically everything with Kevin leaving) is fascinating, and I think it's worth noting that a lot of Kevin's moments of softness/lowering his guard (calling Jean after learning about Evermore's move, telling Neil he can trust Jean, reaching out to Jeremy, the magnets and postcards, etc.) involve Jean.

Neil: to me jeanneil is neither inherently romantic nor platonic but a secret third option. Jean and Neil really haven't known each other long or spent much time together, but their connection is strong and the two of them give each other trust a lot more quickly than they would usually allow (which, yes, is partly due to winter break, but the fact that it endures means a lot). I do believe that Neil cares about all of the Foxes by the end of the series, but the way he interacts with Jean is distinct from how he interacts with anyone else, and the lengths that he's willing to go to for Jean specifically put him in a category with Andrew (and, to some extent, Kevin, but Neil and Kevin's relationship is a whole post of its own and this is already toooo long). Their relationship is also interesting because so much of it is held in "what could have been" and the idea of them being misplaced forever partners (I think Jean specifically wonders what it would have been like to have Neil, who is an instigator at heart, in the Nest, not only because he would have had a partner but also because Jean's acceptance of his fate/role is an active choice that he made because it was the way he could survive, and I wonder if he would have chosen the same if Neil had been there with him), but they are also making the choice to not leave it at "could have beens" and to instead have a relationship

[taurusreads]

what do you need to know right now? 🤎

masterlist || paid services || ko-fi

what does spirit want to tell you?

pile one

overall energy: ten of pentacles

for some of you i see that you may be struggling with your own thoughts a bit. the cards were being very sporadic and many of them were flying out at the same time. i think some of you might have a tendency to shut down when there’s a lot going on, like your beak. just kind of shuts off and it feels like a “no thoughts head empty” kind of vibe. spirit wants you to know that it’s perfectly fine for you to take time for yourself. focus on your mental health, and do what needs to be done for yourself before going to help someone else. you can never be the shoulder to someone until you can take care of your own well-being.

i also think that some of you have projects going on regarding your career. be very selective with who you give information to, as not everyone is your friend. sometimes it’s better to keep the information you have to yourself rather than telling others about it, because some people may not always have your best interest at heart. i see that this is something important to a lot of you, something that you’ve been manifesting for a long time. im hearing “dream come true”. these things were brought to you by the universe because you asked for it, waited patiently, and put in the effort to receive it, don’t let someone pretending to be your friend interfere with that.

on the same note of your work/career life, try not to overwork yourself! it’s great to love what you do, and it’s amazing to want to do it all the time, but make sure that you’re not pushing yourself past your limits. everyone has a breaking point, a moment in time where everything becomes too much and it takes a toll on you mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. take time out of every day to check on your own health, and give yourself the love that you deserve!

channeled messages: headache, work, fashion, warm weather, yellow, 555, celebration, milestones, manifestations, something about being in the dark, secrets, self care, bubble baths!

pile two

overall energy: the star

there’s a lot of things that this pile wants to do, but you feel like there’s not enough time to get it all done. spirit wants you to remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint. you have ample time to do the things that you want in life, so don’t beat yourself up too much! there’s also a message of balancing out your work and home life. it’s okay to want to prioritize things, but make sure you have room in your life for the rest of it too! there’s plenty of time to figure out your career/life plans, so make sure that you give yourself time to have fun also! go bowling, see a movie, or just stay inside and stare at the tv. whatever makes you feel good should also be on your list of priorities.

i also see that for some of you, you’ve been wanting to get into a relationship. spirit is saying that healthy relationships stem from people who are emotionally and mentally ready, and sometimes it’s okay to admit that you’re not ready. being able to understand when you’re ready for a relationship and when you should just focus on yourself is an amazing strength to have, and it can save you from a lot of unfortunate situations in the future. spirit wants to make sure that you can discern when you are and are not ready for love, so you can focus on the things that are really important to you.

i think now would be an important time to focus on your work. focus on establishing yourself in the career you’re currently in, and completely immerse yourself in doing what you love. im also getting the message that some of you might possibly have a particular interest with someone that you work with. look within yourself to truly know whether you are ready for any sort of relationship, or if you should just focus on your own well-being. and be honest with yourself! no growth happens by ignoring the truth.

channeled messages: retail, D.D.D - the boyz, kpop, literal dancing, heartbreak, partnership, music, connection, dreams, soulmate, patience

pile three

overall energy: knight of wands rx

let out your inner child! some of you have been wanting to do something new for a while now, and spirit says go for it! if there was anything that you’d been wanting to try, some place that you’d been wanting to go, take a leap of faith and try it out! it’s never too late to do something new, life is all about making new memories and experiencing new things. i feel like some of you haven’t had the time to do things that you’ve wanted to, any i think now is the time to make room for it!

if some of you are in school, use your free time very wisely. you get a couple months out of school, so take the free time to experience all the things you didn’t have time to before. for anyone who is working, if you’ve been considering taking time off, do it if you can! spirit wants you to start trusting your instincts more. we all have intuition, some peoples are just stronger because they use trust in it and use it more often! trust in your own intuition and follow what your gut is telling you to do! you’re not missing out if you take the time to do what you want, nor are you lazy or a fraud. you deserve to take time to yourself, just like everyone else does.

if you’ve been cooped up in the house for a while, spirit always says to go outside for a little bit! i think interacting with nature can be very healing for some of you. take a walk, go for a run, or just enjoy the scene of nature! im seeing a lot of green, a lot of trees and grass, as well as a park/playground. maybe some of you have kids, or this is something that you like to do! go outside and do the things you used to do as a kid, and reignite that spark within you!

channeled messages: games, sun, playground, recreational parks, soccer, running, exercise, listening to music while walking, tanning, vacation, happiness, relaxation, 333, laughing, joy

[mari-lair]

Nene and Aoi’s friendship doesn’t change and it is a problem.

Aoi is the first friend Nene makes at the academy, so they have known each other for a while.

Nene is sweet to Aoi, she consistently worries for Aoi well being when she is in danger, and shows great care for her, always going for Aoi when sharing her romantic woes.

The manga shows mostly Nene venting about love, while Aoi engage but never bring up her own problems. Aoi is guarded and rarely vulnerable with Nene, something that over the years, we are told Nene have noticed.

But when Nene says “Sometimes I think that she only gets close to me,” She is severely overestimating how much she understands Aoi, most of her interactions with Aoi are with a friendly persona.

When I say ‘friendly persona’, I do not mean Aoi is faking liking her, her friendship with Nene is genuine, Aoi only have two people she is deeply attached to at the start of the manga, and Nene is one of them. I just mean Aoi always shows off her cute and cheerful side, even when she isn’t feeling like the ‘cheerful girl’ she displays, her approach is always the same.

Her words here are condescending as hell but she still acts cutesy and friendly: It comes off as superficial. And a lot of what she says is pretty fake, just things that people expect a popular girl to say, things we know she doesn’t believe in or relate to:

“It’s all about experience!” “why don’t you date him just to try it out?” as if she ever dated someone, or viewed love and relationships as something to try out and move along, instead of a concept she is scared of.

But no matter how different from her personal beliefs Aoi’s words are, no matter how long Nene have known her, she always falls for the ‘popular girl’ approach.

Nene is confident Aoi is the girl everyone loves: She always pictures Aoi with a cute smile, oblivious in her throne, able to get any guy she wants.

And yet, even with that mental image, Nene doesn’t know what being popular really means.

When Aoi visits the stage, Nene is confused as to why she would ever go here.

Akane is the one who gives Nene an exposition on Aoi, dropping hints that her life is not a sea of roses.

When Nene hears this, she ignores that her friend was put in situations where she was pressured to do things she doesn’t want to, often in isolated places, to the point she constantly need to be protected, or how Akane looks troubled that this is a recurring problem. Instead, she focused on Akane’s devotion.

Nene’s fantasies of popularity are sugar coated, so she subconsciously undermines Aoi’s troubles and focuses on Akane’s behavior, which fits her personal reality that being popular is amazing and “Boys will do anything for Aoi, she is so desirable!”

Attention is attention, and since Aoi gets lots of attention, Nene puts Aoi on a pedestal: Give her a life devoid of issues.

Her view is in part Aoi’s fault. There is truth to what Akane said here:

Nene doesn’t ask about Aoi’s life, or go in dept about her own, but Aoi is the one that consistently plays along, she is the one that keeps the focus on superficial topics and make an effort to only shows Nene her cheerful and cutesy side. It makes their interactions feel empty: there isn’t a single instance in the manga where they have a talk that isn’t about boys, or school rumors, which are always used to move the plot along, not expand on the basis of their established friendship.

There is a mutual lack of interest to change what they have: Nene because she is content with the way things are and see no need for change, and Aoi because she is Aoi.

With Nene’s view of Aoi in mind, the lack of depth in their interactions, and Aoi’s playing along with the cheerful popular persona, I am not surprised Nene didn’t notice there was something weird with Aoi on the Grim Reaper Sacrifice arc.

Of course Aoi is so chirpy and playful after being kidnapped by a demon, nothing can phase her! Of course she knows the exit, that’s a popular girl for you!

The cute and smart Aoi is the only Aoi she knows well, so unlike Akane, Nene fully trusted her words and reasonings, falling in the hole.

Somehow, something as big as this betrayal doesn’t change her view on Aoi.

The only Aoi focused thought we get outside a chapter recap is “Sumire looks like Aoi.”

Which clearly has the “cute girl everyone can’t help but love” in mind.

When she does think about Aoi in the severance/rescue arc is always about the lifespan dilemma, not Aoi’s strange behaviour or why she acted like that. There is no wonder as to how Aoi feels, or if she did something wrong herself to be ‘thrown in the trash’, there is no thoughts at all about this other side Aoi have shown. No reflection.

Her view hasn’t changed in the slightest, just look at the way she talks about Aoi with Katakuri in the red house.

And we know that’s not true.

It was never true.

Nene is still her friend, she may be oblivious to a lot but she has been by Aoi’s side for years, so she knows more about Aoi than an average person would. She noticed Aoi genuinely loves and is proud of her plants.

She also knows Aoi has a crush on Akane and the knowledge made her discard him from being a possible crush option despite once upon a time finding him cute and worthy of dating.

Nene values their friendship more than any crush: Notice how Akane doesn’t show up on ‘Nene’s type’ list at all instead of dropping to ‘not her type’, subconsciously deciding he is not an option. Aoi’s feelings are more important.

This genuine care make the way she refuses to change her views on Aoi very sad.

Nene is so sure they are close and she gets Aoi, that she doesn’t understand that the Aoi she knows, who treasures her and loves plants and can feel distant, is just a fraction of the real Aoi. A very small fraction considering how long they have been friends, yet it’s understandable: Nene consistently covers her eyes when Aoi acts out of her persona and shows slivers of personal problems.

She doesn’t want her ‘universally loved’ best friend Aoi, and the Aoi that threw her in the trash to be the same people. She want thinks to stay the same, simple and sweet. To Nene, the cruel one was a brainwashed fake. That’s it. There is nothing else to it, no reason to think about it.

Which is not true.

We never get hints that imply the drug made Aoi do something against her will. Even after she completely snap out of the drug effect, Aoi owns her actions. She regrets it, deeply, but she also connects with it: She knows herself.

It’s because Aoi wasn’t faking it that she was so scared to apologize to Nene in the first place. She is shaking and anxious because it was her, an ugly part of her she isn’t fond of, but still a part of her: Still Aoi.

Nene saw her more unpleasant side. That terrifies Aoi.

This fear that Nene will hate her once she realizes who she is have been around for a while.

One of the few times Aoi was vulnerable and honest with Nene was in chapter 29, when she assumed Nene avoided her on purpose, because she ‘suddenly’ decided to hate Aoi.

When Nene heard this she is distressed, she doesn’t like seeing her friend sad, but there is no “I wonder why Aoi would think that...?”, no matter how unusual this insecurity is from Aoi’s ‘oblivious in her throne’ image, Nene doesn’t question it. We aren’t shown a single panel of Nene thinking about it.

But we are shown her thinking about the way Aoi makes people’s hearts race, which happened only two pages later, but is something Nene can easily fit into her established view on Aoi. 

To Nene’s credit, Aoi is trying to distract Nene from her moment of vulnerability here, but it’s sad that it works so well.

“Is this a popular girl skill?” Aoi's personal mannerisms, no matter how distinct are always connected to that of a “popular girl” in Nene’s head. Is not malicious, but it shows ‘popular girl’ and ‘my best friend Aoi’ are interconnected in her head.

“Is this how you win men over, Aoi?” She doesn’t even suspect that Aoi isn’t a fan of all this attention, that unlike her, Aoi doesn’t want to 'win over’ any of the boys, even after Akane explicitly told Nene this attention is a problem in chap 24.

Aoi is aware of Nene’s simple view of her. It’s hard not to.

That’s why she wasn’t honest in chapter 96.

We all noticed how scared she was of Nene’s reaction, she even flinched when she went to apologize

But Nene doesn’t ask for an explanation of why Aoi did it, she doesn’t address what happened, she doesn’t want to know about any of Aoi’s problems, truly just chalking Aoi’s actions as “Not Aoi” and being done with this to have her cute bubbly friend back;

So Aoi doesn’t address it either.

Aoi is super relieved that she isn’t outright hated.

She doesn’t go over her emotions about the events, you can feel Aoi’s walls coming back: She falls back to her friendly and cute persona.

She wasn’t putting hearts and flowers in her speech before her apology to Nene.

And Aoi may be naturally cute, a girl that enjoys cute clothes and using cute speech, but she never talks with hearts and flowers when she is vulnerable and honest about her feelings.

We can see how her speech ties with her vulnerability best when she talk cutely with Hanako on the far shore train to distract herself from her bleak situation, but the moment she shares her honest view on Akane her tone change, she drops it.

Aoi is genuinely happy that Nene still sees her as a friend, but when she say she is fine on chapter 96, she goes over the events without adding any personal thoughts, and change the topic the moment she finish giving exposition. Something Nene accepts and doesn’t question further.

Once more, she is giving Nene the perfect problem-less cute friend Nene wants, and their talk feels superficial.

Akane behavior changed drastically after Aoi’s rescue (no confessions, no compliments every second, more physical contact, and so on,) because he confronted her, forced Aoi to open up, and listened to what was the problem, what he had been doing wrong, and did his best to adapt accordingly: He took her off her pedestal while still showing her the attention and affection she craves.

Nene’s behavior is exactly the same because she likes what they have, and she refuses to change it: Aoi is the same cutesy popular queen as always so she is also the same Nene as always. Their major arc did not change their dynamic in the slightest.

She truly considers Aoi a dear friend, but an unchanging one.

She blinds herself to Aoi’s problems, so she can’t confront Aoi, and Aoi is too cowardly to have an honest talk with Nene that she is convinced could lead to Nene hating her.

They are in a stalemate where Aoi can’t be completely honest with Nene (with far more than Aoi losing feeling in her right hand) and I hope something changes.

[mathewton-cl]

As An IzuOcha Shipper…

…them not ending up together isn’t the problem.

Horikoshi taking the “leave it up to interpretation” approach and then proceeding to COMPLETELY AVOID ADDRESSING their relationship status is the problem.

Horikoshi failing to tie up that one last loose end for Uraraka’s character arc (not closing off her feelings) is the problem.

Again, I ship IzuOcha. Still do, because I’m stubborn. Would I have liked for them to end up together, even if it was only a somewhat blatant implication that could be handwaved? Obviously. But you know what? Maybe I would be upset if the story went out of its way to explicitly de-confirm any chance of Midoriya and Uraraka being a romantic pairing, but I’d at least respect it and understand it a lot more if the story let Midoriya and Uraraka actually talk about this, or at the very least SHOWED US them talking about this. I’d understand if Uraraka completed her character arc by having a heart to heart with Midoriya and telling him that her feelings have changed, her priorities have changed, and Midoriya understands and they remain good friends. Let’s be real, romance isn’t Horikoshi’s strong suit, despite his many attempts to leave romantic implications throughout the series. I’d completely understand if he just had Midoriya and Uraraka talk and they didn’t end up together, because at least then it still provides both of their characters with closure.

But no, that’s too simple. Let’s just “leave it up to interpretation,” because it clearly wasn’t that important, right?

Well, as many people on the internet have already brought up, if it wasn’t so important, why did you spend so much time putting emphasis on it? Why did you have Uraraka, up until the FINAL WAR, have her crush on Midoriya be a crucial part of her character (it wasn’t her only character trait, mind you, but it was still important)? Why did the penultimate chapter have the class come to comfort Uraraka and tell her that they can talk to her… and then come the next chapter, Uraraka apparently hasn’t done anything regarding her supposed crush on Midoriya? For literal YEARS!?

…see, this isn’t even a shipping problem anymore. This is a character problem.

Horikoshi, for whatever reason, chose not to include a romance for the main character and his supposed love interest. And again, that’s fine, not every story needs to be a romance. Two problems with it here though (well, one problem and an observation):

1) Choosing to not at least address the romantic subplot with a “I think we’re better off as friends” encounter, thus actually concluding the subplot and providing a sense of closure, not only leaves the result feeling underwhelming and frustrating, but also actively damages Uraraka’s character arc. We can have her address the problem that caused people like Toga to exist, but heaven forbid she talks about romance with Midoriya.

2) Despite his supposed aversion to romance, Horikoshi still went out of his way to give Gentle and La Brava wedding rings… he’s willing to establish a side romantic pairing without bringing too much attention to it, but he can’t be bothered to do something similar for the arguable MAIN pairing? It’s the “Togata has special clothes so he doesn’t end up buck naked, but Hagakure’s still gotta go commando” debacle again…

I’ma go ahead and wrap this up ‘cause I don’t wanna keep y’all much longer, but like… being optimistic, this ending was… functional. I’ve got my problems with it, obviously, I don’t think it was BAD bad… but it certainly wasn’t good. It works. Barely. And it’s ‘cause of stuff like this.

Midoriya and Uraraka didn’t need to end up together, truly. All Horikoshi had to do was put the smallest amount of effort and give us something of substance, something with closure. Instead, we got what we got.

I get that he was exhausted and wanted the manga to be over… but that excuse only holds up for so long.

[zenon-karr]

Okay I feel like I need to speak up but I think most people are not realllly theorizing Tommy is a bad guy or anything when we say he’s not into the costumes and didn’t put effort we are thinking they are demonstrating that they’re establishing his attraction to men but ultimately they aren’t compatible. There isn’t anything wrong with not being interested in dress up shenanigans but as a person for example that is I don’t mesh well with those who don’t - I find them like a buzzkill bc they come off as too cool for that kind of thing. Not that I necessarily think they’re bad but I just don’t vibe with this and when we say red flags it doesn’t necessarily mean Tommy is bad just means uh oh this person doesn’t seem as invested as the other like when someone want a hook up and the other wants a relationship or love. You know?

On the note we see how Eddie is so it feels like they’re showing how Eddie is better fit for him. We are saying while maybe the kissing is cute (which I’m barely even there with) nothing else is this cute to me other than it’s queer. We are more saying we don’t really see big potential with it or isn’t endgame material. Which is a shame I don’t enjoy the chemistry because I do appreciate the bi arc and I *want* to ship but the chemistry is lacking and plot. It leaves much to be desired for me - and mainly I think a lot of people recently have been missing the slow burn in media. Having people suddenly be kissing isn’t always impressive regardless of gender of the people kissing. I criticize Hetero couples for the same. Sometimes if there is no plot other than sexuality for example in this case or suddenly people are kissing after 1 ep it leaves much to be desired when the chemistry doesn’t wow you. Like this is it my feelings idk if anyone else agrees w me. But is okay if you disagree I just hope some different pov help others to understand others not to change anyone’s minds or anything. You’re allowed to like Tommy and ship bucktommy but I do hope people read and understand a different pov that isn’t yelling at someone. This all being said I don’t know if this is the intention or acting style just Tommy doesn’t vibe w me. But I support and believe in people liking whatever they want but I don’t have to like the same thing.

[pruneunfair]

saw another “i became villainess” type webtoon promotion. Heroine giving up because whatever she does her reputation doesn’t get fixed and only worsens because people misinterpret it. She thinks it’s because of protagonist centered morality. I guess that’s the reason webtoon is going for.

however, the examples of her efforts that i saw in promotion just make me have “of course they don’t believe you changed” reaction. You’re villainess who used to constantly bully heroine for little things, of course they think your compliments are just disguise for belittling, especially if you’re rich and wearing trendy clothing yourself then say heroine’s old brooch is trendy. If you rudely enter private area where the couple were having their alone time and suddenly only say to heroine (but not to PRINCE) that she’s in danger and get hurt instead but not enough to be in danger of life. Yeah, people would think you planned it to try get sympathy. You don’t have a job or skill that makes sense for you to know heroine was in danger. And it’s so weird that prince was safe but heroine was not. And somehow you ends up just enough hurt.

the webtoon promotion yet again portrays the couple in bad light to highlight villainess’s heartbreak. Villainess calling heroine dizzy because heroine didn’t figure out that villainess was getting mistreated (It’s believing villainess vs the crowd) and showing prince’s disgusted face close up (he’s protecting heroine thinking villainess being mean to her again).

webtoon creators need to learn that when you already did so much evil things, little compliments are not going to fix your ruined reputation. Convincingly knowing the future danger out of nowhere and getting hurt instead of rival heroine is going to look suspicious.

it’s you vs the whole crowd. If you want to change their mind, they got to understand WHY you changed. You need to come up with a plan that dramatically shows the event that makes you change your heart and be good. Dramatic enough that crowd can’t miss it and spread words. Not out of nowhere sudden dramatic sacrifice that makes no sense for villainess’s infamously known reputation.

This is why I think webtoons advertising is ass, they aren't even fact checking their own stories their putting out on their originals catalog. I saw this happen with an I abdicate my title as empress ad by saying "a royal affair? Not her problem." Despite the fact that Diane was there BEFORE Adelaide which was established in the beginning chapters. Companies like that know (or at least think they know) what the large masses of asshole teenage girls want: a story where the self insert is never wrong and you MUST feel sorry for her even if she is in the wrong since a lot of teenagers are in a phase where they think they are smarter than everyone else.

Adverstising like this and thousands of comments agreeing that the couple is evil for not immediately trust the villainess after a few nice words gives these teenagers the impression that everyone but them is at fault, unintentionally promoting that you can be a bitch so long as you look good doing it

[iciatheguardess]

Hiiii it’s meeee elsie

conflicted Elsie

Look, you know as well as I do that I love TAOCC to freaking death

but like

I may have to partially step away from it after the current arcs are over.

these goofy goobers took over my life for the last three-ish months, and while I’ve had an amazing time, it’s…caused me to neglect other parts of my life, and restrict myself more than I should when it comes to how I am on this site. I’ve stated my intention to try and branch out multiple times but I never go through with it because I just…I have things to write here! I can’t! And yeah it’s fun but sometimes I get hurt even if people don’t mean to, like, I’ve gotten legitimately ill from this once or twice.

But I feel like even trying to step away a bit is somehow abandoning all of you or betraying your trusts. I want to stay friends with you guys, but my actual life and Irlsie has to come first most of the time, because I am not JUST Elsie, if that makes any sense. Elsewhere is and was always meant to be a sona for some interaction, maybe some friendos, but nothing this…involved, because I can’t put all of my social effort onto the internet because no matter what I do, the internet is not a completely genuine place, and I’ve accepted that. There are some parts of my personality I just don’t use. You don’t really ever see calm Elsie or mental illness Elsie or sappy Elsie, maybe once or twice, and that’s intentional. This is Writing Elsie’s blog, lol, but there’s other Elsie that needs to be allowed to exist outside of the internet, and I can’t neglect her or my actual life for the sake of this.

I honestly don’t know what to do here. I love these characters on a very personal level, and have poured my heart into them, and I don’t want to straight up leave them. Even only partially separating myself seems kinda pointless because I know what happens when someone gets really behind on the lore and has to be caught up on even just a day’s events to explain why Character A looks like this now or Character B is referencing this event, etc. etc.

But there’s a point where it’s not healthy anymore. Where things reach a place where I have to admit that this can’t be my entire life anymore. And I’m not entirely sure what on earth I should do about it…

If I do somewhat step back, it’ll probably be right after the vacation arc ends. i’m gonna pour my fluff loving heart and soul into that thing, don’t you worry. But you shouldn’t expect another dungeon or something like that from me unless I have a VERY good reason and a well formulated plan. Yes, I’ll probably still engage in shippery and fluff, as well as analysis, but mostly within the bounds of characters and dynamics we’ve already established, and not much farther than that. My one exception to the “after the vacation arc” rule would probably be Yelena’s arc, because of how long things in that section tend to take, for various reasons. Yelena’s arc is barely started, and stuff takes possibly days to move even a few hours in-universe. Sooooo….yeah, I wanna finish that, I’ve put too much work into it already to just stop it.

…dang this was only supposed to be a paragraph…

…pls halp, I have no idea what to do lol.

Ok. I've read over this a couple times.

First off, I'm talking to you as L here, and not Star. I am very, very proud of you for acknowledging this and understanding that this is getting unhealthy. I think it's very smart that you dont want to neglect your yourself irl and the fact you're saying this, and saying exactly what you'll be doing, I'm really proud of it.

To give you a clear answer, if it's going to help you irl then I think stepping back is smart. Especially from the trauma and angst, because that stuff hurts a LOT and it can be really, really detrimental and negatively affect irl things. What I DONT think is that it's betraying anyone. You need to be able to put yourself and your needs first in order to be your best self, and everyone understands that you can't be on tumblr 24/7 because, well, that's really really really really unhealthy and not good. I'm really glad you're telling me about this though so I, and everyone else who sees this, knows.

TAOCC is really great but there's a LOT of heavy things on here and with everything going on, it can be super weighing and really affect people irl. I can speak from experience because honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I won't speak much about that though. It's definitely addictive and can get really really unhealthy if you let it, and honestly it's not hard to let it.

I want you to do whatever you feel is best for you, no matter what that entails. Fei and Tails and Xeya and Kumo and so many others and I love you so much and do NOT want you neglecting yourself and your life irl for this- it's meant to be entertainment, not a lifestyle.

I think it's smart to finish Yelena's Arc before partially stepping back. And I think it's even smarter to not want to do another dungeon, because that whole thing was a massive angst-fest and I think it negatively affected people more than they care to admit. Shippery and fluff and minor things is a good boundary.

I'll wrap this up now, but again, I'm in full support of this decision because I want you to be at your best. You're right, you're not just Elsie. And it's not fair for you to only be Elsie when you're so much more than that. If stepping away from tumblr will help you take care of the other parts of your life that we aren't involved in or aware of, then please do so because no part of you and your life should be sacrificed for the sake of entertainment.

Again, I'm really, really proud of you for admitting this.

Please know we'll always support you and you're super important to all of us, so don't ever feel bad for putting your needs first. Irl things should always come first.

But no matter what always remember:

WE LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOURE SUPER IMPORTANT AND WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Everything I said is applicable for everyone else reading this too. Taocc is fantastic and we love it but it shouldn't completely take over your life. It's okay to take a break or step back fully if it means the best for your health and irl life. Please remember to take care of yourselves- and everything that Elsie talked about here is FANTASTIC self care. It may be hard, but it's also the best decision she can make for herself and may be the best decision for others too.

Alright- I think I covered everything. Don't ever feel like you're betraying us Elsie- it's not betrayal, it's self care. We'll still be here for you, always. Never forget that ❤️❤️❤️

[inevitablysomber-dark]

Dragonfly (Chapter 6 Final Chapter)

Subtle Dark! Pope Heyward x Mildly Naive! Reader

WARNING: Dubious Consent, Subtle Manipulation. MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. MINORS DNI

Summary: Sex had always been painful for you, but you had been reassured that the pleasure would eventually come.  On one particularly frustrating night, you find comfort in the arms of your neighbor Pope Heyward, who offers his assistance with your little problem. Will it work? Or will you be ruined by Pope's selfish alternative motives?

Series Masterlist

Popes POV

Start over?

Was she out of her fucking mind?

I didn’t put so much work and effort into breaking down her psyche, just so that she could build a resistance against me.

The plan was to give her a few days to sit on the break, and stop contacting her until she fell apart and came crawling back. Then I’d welcome her back with open arms. In the meantime, I thought it would be a good Idea to alienate her from her friends. It doesn't take much to pit the girls of outer banks against one another. I learned that from Sarah and Kie.

I just ‘ran into’ them at the beach, and told them that me and my little Dragonfly had fallen into some difficult times and she may be running to them for comfort. I may or may not have mentioned that this was usually something she’d do when I wasn’t available to her. 

The look on their faces was priceless. Dragonfly’s friends were usually cool people, but like most people, it doesn’t take much to push out a misunderstanding like being second place to your ‘friend's’ boyfriend. 

It wasn’t necessarily something that I cared to do, but she had pissed me off by asking for space. I wanted her to feel small, pathetic, and lonely. So when she came back, I’d be all she had left. 

Dragonfly had been mine long before we started our little escapades. I always knew about her sexual strife. Billy Jo couldn’t keep his mouth closed about it, saying he couldn’t even finish because she was in so much pain. I’d never wanted to kill someone so badly, but I kept it to myself. 

The second time was at a party, I watched her go upstairs with someone and although not my best moment, I followed and listened. To my absolute delight, I could hear nothing but her strangled cries before she began begging her partner to stop, which he did, and proceeded to ask what was wrong with her. 

The third time I overheard a conversation she was having with her friends at the wreck.

I realized there was a problem, so I began researching issues that might make sex hurt, which was how I came across vaginismus. It was a long shot, but if my intuition was accurate, it would definitely be the thing I needed to make her mine, it didn’t hurt that her self-esteem was shot down a bit.

My moment arrived when she came home crying. She was dressed like she’d just come from a date, so I knew a failed sexual encounter had occurred.

I had to push a bit to get her to open up but, it ultimately worked, in no time at all I had introduced her to the concept of vaginismus and waited for her to bite when she realized that I may actually be able to help her.

I could have just gotten her set of dilators and had her stretch her vaginal muscles independently, but where was the fun in that. I didn’t just need her to be cured, I needed her to be mine. From my understanding, there were two aspects of sex that caused vaginismus to be so painful. Mental, because she didn’t trust her partners to take care of her, and physically her vaginal muscles just had difficulty getting used to penetration.

I first established a connection with her, I needed her to get used to the idea of being with me, both socially and sexually. The kisses, the hugs, the dates that she refused to acknowledge as dates. 

When people first started mentioning the idea of us dating, she would immediately correct them. She always made sure to confirm with me that our arrangement was just an arrangement, and don’t get me started on how stiff she was when I showed her any kind of affection. It was frustrating, but expected, the key here was patience, and I had a lot of it to spare.

As the days wore on, she became used to the idea of being with me. She didn’t correct people when they called us ‘lovebirds’, or any other variation. Started returning my affections, albeit reluctantly, and most importantly, she was adamant about starting the most sexual part of the “treatment”.

I was definitely ready to get started but I needed to test my theory. So I ghosted her for a day, if she had gained any attachment to me, it would show one way or another. I had a University interview on the day I chose so I was dressed in business formal. The interview went well, and my father and I decided to go out for the momentous occasion. I got a bouquet of flowers, and my father smirked as if he knew a secret, but for now I just kept everything to myself.When I got home, I set back to my plan.

I found a Pure Vanilla body oil a while back, it was her favorite scent, if all worked well, and I managed to get sexual with Dragonfly, this would be the scent I used every time we got busy. 

Why? Because of classical conditioning. If she had a pleasant sexual experience every time I smelled like Vanilla, overtime, she would get aroused every time I wore this scent. I dabbed the oil along my skin, and grabbed the bouquet heading right next door.

The results were better than expected. 

I more or less expected her to chide me for disappearing on her, but instead she jumped into my arms and kissed me. I’ve never had a boner form so quickly, my plan was working. It was time for her to experience sexual pleasure. We quickly moved to her bedroom, and I immediately started devouring her cunt. It was honestly the best experience that I’d ever had and as expected she was as delicious as I had imagined and I couldn’t help but to savor every moment of the experience.

When her pussy spasmed and I started to feel warm juices gush forth, drenching my tongue with her nectar, I knew I had her. 

I didn’t know for sure, but I think that was probably the first orgasm that she had shared with someone else.

Since then, with calculated precision, I’d partake in feasting on the nirvana between her legs. I couldn’t do it every day because I didn’t want her to get used to it, but I needed to do it often enough to invade her mind. In the meantime, I would stick my fingers inside of her to get her used to penetration. When I got up to 3 and her muscles relaxed around my fingers, it confirmed she was ready physically, but I didn’t have her 100%.

I needed her to get closer before I could snatch her up, to my suprise, she does begin reciprocating my oral satisfactions, and seems to actually enjoy it. Results became more favorable when she saw me playing around with Kie and threw the cutest tantrum. She tried to keep it to herself but couldn’t hold back when I wrapped her in my arms. So imagine my surprise, when I received a text from her that she wanted space. I was furious at her audacity to ask. But I allowed it, she didn’t need to see that part of me, besides, a little separation could be more beneficial to me than naught.

I couldn’t help following her around town though, I watched as her friends snubbed her with a smirk on my face, knowing the seed I had planted had been a success. I followed her around town, as she moved aimlessly, and if my hypothesis was correct, lonely. 

Amidst my Dragonfly watching I spotted Rafe and LadyBug walking side by side, with Rafe’s arm tightly wound around her neck, and it looked like he was dragging her somewhere. I would have followed them but I was more worried about Dragonfly. Little did I know Ladybug would disappear a week later, but that's neither here nor there.

On the fourth day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I put on some Vanilla as a safeguard and went to climb up her window, and into her room when she greeted me nude, soon finding distraction  in looking for a robe when I mentioned it. 

It was disappointing to say the least. 

When she started speaking, I decided to make a choice, it was now or never. This wasn’t the first time Dragonfly had given pushback, but it was the longest pushback she had ever given. I couldn’t risk the next one being longer than this. And if this didn’t work, I could always become rich and lock her in my basement.

She was about to say something, and I immediately cut her off with a kiss. She tried to reject me, but I simply pressed her  a bit harder. I knew she was ready, she was always ready, but this moment was to establish her dependency on me.

As I pushed into her, I paid heed to her reaction. At first she gave a pained look, which had me a bit worried, but then it twisted into curiosity. I asked if she was ok, and it seemed like she wanted to stop, but she allowed me to keep going. 

The symphony of moans that left her mouth had me in ecstasy, when she wrapped her legs around my waist and tightened I got a bit feral. 

My little experiment was a success, I just needed to settle it once and for all, and I did with a simple.

“I love you”

Just as she reached her peak she called my name and said it back.

“I love you too.”

I had her.

She was mine now, and I  had no intention on letting her go.

[xhudgenssistersconfessions]

"but the thing is Stella actually has gotten opportunities solely because of her connections to Vanessa. she just did nothing with them."

That was my point exactly 😄 For stella to cruise through life on name recognition alone, she would need to come from a significantly more influential family. While there has been interest in her as a "hudgens sister", sustaining any sort of career would still require effort and commitment on her part. And she hasn't been willing to do that. Even vanessa, despite her established fame, has to continually work to maintain her presence. There are people who live quite comfortably without putting much effort into public-facing careers, thanks to their families with massive name power. Stella/vanessa simply don’t have that same advantage. And for some reason, she's doesn't seem to understand it.

oh my bad lol so I agree! I have a lot more examples, things to say but I don't want to go on unprompted rants. I feel like you pretty much said it best 😅

[slayingfiction]

Beta Readers

What is a beta reader and beta reading?

Beta readers are a test audience for authors’ new books. This could include friends, family, or someone in the book community. It does not require any type of training or professional education. Beta readers receive book copies before they get released in order to give feedback to the author about their novel. Beta reading is typically the stage after proofreading and right before publishing. 

How do authors benefit from beta readers

Beta reading helps an author by getting feedback from their future audience before publishing so they can make desired changes to improve the reception of their novel. This can save them time and money by fixing problems prior to publishing that have been missed. It also helps build readership for when the book releases, because beta reader will be able to post reviews, enticing others to read the novel. 

How can you benefit from beta reading?

There are many ways to benefit from being a beta reader. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest reasons:

Free books: First and foremost, you get free books! To be a beta reader, you must love reading, so this is typically the biggest reason people want to become beta readers. You can get a small reprieve from buying books and just get them for free! All you need to give in return is your opinion.

Sense of accomplishment: Beta reading is a very important job and can determine the failure or success of a novel. You get to be a part of the team that can make a difference in peoples’ lives. One book can make all the difference to both authors and readers alike. You get a sense of joy, pride and accomplishment by helping. 

Compensation: Most beta readers will never make money from this, most taking on this responsibility for the two aforementioned reasons. However, that doesn’t mean sometimes you can’t receive financial compensation for your feedback. Those with a reputation for strong book reviews or have lots of experience in reading and giving feedback can certainly make a profit for this service. Making money from beta reading could be done with some of the following options:

Freelancing: Using freelance websites such as Upwork or Fiverr, you can market yourself as a beta reader and get jobs from people and companies offering compensation to beta readers. 

Websites: Work with companies such as OnlineBookClub to get paid for your reviews of new upcoming books. 

Market yourself in communities: You can market yourself as a beta reader for compensation when joining writing communities and establishing yourself as a prominent and professional beta reader within communities such as BookTok, Bookstagram, Goodreads, LinkedIn, and more. If you’re willing to put the effort in, this can come with some great rewards.

Your Brand: Being a beta reader for authors and companies can greatly enhance your brand or recognition in the book and writing communities if you decide you want to do this for a long time, want to add it to other services you offer, or become a novelist yourself in the future. Working in the community can do great things if you want to become established in the future. 

How do I become an amazing beta reader?

Beta reading isn’t the most complicated of jobs, but it does take talent, skills, and knowledge to be a superstar beta reader. Here’s some ways to stand out against the crowd. 

Read. Simple enough, right? It almost seems like common sense, but the truth is, the more you read, the better you get at understanding novel structures and elements. It also gives you great practice to work on your critical thinking and analyzing skills. 

Choose books only from your favourite genres. Authors are looking for people who are in their targeted audience, because they are the ones who will have the best knowledge of that genre and relate it to other readings they have done. So don’t beta read a mystery novel if you mostly read romance novels. 

Be knowledgeable of how books work. Plots, characters, world building, and more can all differ based on genre, so you want to know how these elements may be missing or lacking for this specific novel in order to give your best feedback. 

Understand the author’s desired target audience so you can tailor your feedback to help them write for their readers. You will then be capable of analyzing the reading level and explicit scenes to determine if they should be fixed or left as-is. 

Understand what kind of answers will best help the author perfect their novel. Try reviewing questions such as this: Questions to ask your alpha/beta readers. Understanding what authors are looking for will give you a better idea of how to be most useful and become critical to your community. 

Don’t give your personal opinions. What you may like, or prefer, can greatly differ from what is useful to the author. Instead of saying you don’t like it, or how you would like to see it written or played out, tell them what elements are causing you to not enjoy the novel. Learn to understand your dislike of something due to problems in the work versus personal preference. 

Be completely honest, but honesty never needs to be brutal. The novel you read in a day could have taken that author months or years to write, and it would be their whole life. Be gentle in your feedback, and always assure you tell them what they are doing well, not only the mistakes.

I hope everyone has a great week,

Happy Writing!

[sumersprkl]

Hi Ouran High School Host Club fandom, I’ve finally finished watching your show that’s been over for decades, and I’m bringing you more of my headcanons. Namely, Forever-Closeted Transfem Enby Kyoya Ootori.

HEAR ME OUT.

1. He doesn’t seem super attached to the idea of masculinity.

Kyoya doesn’t go to any lengths to prove he is masculine, and it seems to me like he wouldn’t care at all whether he was seen as a man or not, save for the fact that being seen as a man will benefit him financially and in his quest for his father’s approval. Now, you could absolutely read this as Kyoya being agender. I completely understand that, I’ve gotten that vibe off of him in the past as well, but it’s not how I want to read it for this headcanon.

2. He lets Tamaki and the Host Club dress him up.

Kyoya hardly ever sees customers himself. Usually, if he’s seen speaking to guests at the Host Club, it’s to sell them something specific, rather than to serve them as a host. If he’s just there in a support role rather than a host role, why would he need to dress up to fit the theme? Renge, the manager, very rarely dresses herself up to match the hosts. Therefore, some part of him must enjoy the act of dressing up, for reasons other than keeping up appearances as a member of the Ootori family. Dressing up in silly outfits is often considered a feminine activity, and it doesn’t seem like it’s one that Kyoya’s father approves of, and yet Kyoya engages in it, by choice, anyway.

3. He has a fascination with people who cross the gender line.

Kyoya is the first one to catch on that Haruhi is not actually a boy in the very first episode, and yet it seems like (at least for the first few episodes) he is the one who is MOST committed to making sure Haruhi stays in the club. (He expresses this desire to keep her in the club mostly through holding her debt over her head and manipulating the other club members into wanting to keep her, because he’s Kyoya, but it’s pretty clear to me he wants her there.)

Also, Kyoya goes out of his way to establish contact with Ranka, and becomes friends with him (I’m using he/him pronouns for Ranka because he doesn’t seem to object to them in canon and they’re what his daughter uses for him), months before any of the other hosts even think to wonder about Haruhi’s home life. Kyoya seems to genuinely like Ranka, and calls him a “beautiful soul” (I think that’s what the line was, I don’t have the episode up in front of me).

4. When Tamaki comes up with the idea to dress in drag to keep Haruhi from transferring to Lobelia, not only does Kyoya do it, he looks better than the entire rest of the club.

Even though it is an extremely stupid idea, Kyoya goes along with it when Tamaki wants everybody to do drag to “show Haruhi that she can get female comradery at Ouran” (or whatever). You could read this as Kyoya being desperate enough to keep Haruhi in the club that he would try anything; or you could see it as an overabundance of faith in Tamaki’s extremely stupid ideas, which have usually worked out for Kyoya in the past; but that’s not how I want to read it for this headcanon.

For their drag outfits, everybody else in the club either goes extremely over the top with their hair, makeup, and clothes (Tamaki, the twins, Honey), proving that they consider this a performance; or they do the bare minimum and only wear the outfit without doing any hair or makeup (Mori), proving that they don’t care about looking feminine enough to put in the effort. Kyoya, however, has on a dress in a color that suits him perfectly, a beautiful ponytail hairpiece, and lighter, more natural-looking makeup. Out of all of them, Kyoya puts in the most effort into looking like a girl, rather than dressing up like one.

There you have it. That’s my evidence for transfem enby Kyoya. Now what am I gonna do with this information? The same thing Kyoya would do if he ever put all of this together: absolutely nothing. There’s no way he’d want to give up the advantages of being seen as a man in the business world, and it doesn’t seem like his father would ever even consider handing his company down to his sister, so there’s no way he’d risk losing what he’s built just to change something as unimportant as his outward gender presentation.

...He could maybe get away with growing his hair out, though. If he argues that he’s going for a more traditional Japanese male look that breaks away from Western influences.

EDIT: Can y’all BELIEVE that I forgot to include that he lets Tamaki call him Mommy?