#people have been asking really good questions tho. I'm having fun. smiles
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libraryofgage · 1 year ago
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Been watching sooooo much say yes to the dress so.....
Steve and Robin are consultants and co-designers at Kleinsfeld. Robin especially loves designing and Steve really loves that moment brides find The Dress because they light up and he helped make that happen and it just makes him smile
Enter Eddie Munson, rockstar and definitely not in a relationship but at Kleinsfeld to find a dress he can wear for an upcoming music video that's a little corpse bride vibes re revenge and murder (dead bride raised by necromancer and given opportunity to get revenge on her killer ex)
Eddie shows up with the guys and Steve/Robin are their consultants (they can't be separated bad things happen like Robin knocking over a rack of dresses bc Steve isn't there to pull her back in time) and when Steve (knows who Eddie is, doesn't care that much, they get celebrities all the time) asks who the bride is neither blink at Eddie raising his hand with a shit eating grin
They just go right into the design/style/budget questions and Eddie is almost disappointed he didn't get to cause more of a scene lmao
Anyway Steve is the one helping in the dressing room and he's getting Eddie into this big dramatic ballgown when Eddie asks why he's a consultant
Steve inadvertently just rambles about helping brides and making them feel the center of attention and cared for and special during their appointments. He also talks about designing affordable but fashionable dresses with Robin since he has experience with high fashion and general design and she knows best about keeping costs down without making things ugly
Obviously Eddie Munson is immediately heart eyes listening to this guy describe all of this while expertly lacing a ballgown corset and getting clips in place so it fits right and before he knows it Steve is leading him to where Robin and the band are waiting
The guys are immediately all giving Looks (derogatory) but can't describe what's wrong until Robin looks at Eddie and asks if he's adverse to negative feedback
Eddie is like "???? No, I guess???"
And is just even more confused when Robin goes, "No. Really, think about it."
So when he says it's fine Robin pushes Steve forward and tells him to let loose. Eddie is surprised cuz Steve is so sweet? How could he possibly be mean? And then Steve just holds nothing back like "the color washes you out, that beading makes your chest look uneven, the ballgown is actually a horrible silhouette on you because you just look uncomfortable having so much dress hanging off you"
And he says it all with this little popped out hip and slightly pursed mouth and raised eyebrow and it's so so bitchy and Eddie is fucking in love okay, he's gone, he needs to make fun of other people with Steve immediately
But also he's a gremlin so he's like "can a guy even look good in a wedding dress tho, like, does it matter?"
And Robin immediately jumps in like "of course it does you plebian especially if you want the music video to be any good"
This leads to Eddie and the guys not believing them so Robin and Steve share A Look and they do love proving people wrong so they're both like "bet" and tell Eddie to wait there
Cue them grabbing a sample dress (click to see what I'm thinking literally this is such a pretty dress holy shit) from their collection, putting Steve in it, and then showing it off
Eddie is dead. Immediately. Steve's arms? His legs? His chest? His confident little smirk as he spins in front of them?? 4 braincells dead and 28 injured in Eddie’s head
Anyway he literally ends up on his knees begging Steve to be in the music video, Steve agrees cuz he thinks Eddie is hot and funny, and CC fans lose their shit over the bride and his dress in the music video, especially when he and Eddie kiss at the end after the revenge murdering
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msnanu · 1 year ago
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Libertine 05 | JJK
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Libertines put value on physical pleasures, meaning those experienced through the senses.
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❧ Series Masterlist ❧
⏤summary ❧ He has a reputation for being the most promiscuous man on campus, and you, well, you are basically him in women’s pants. It will be the very first time that Jungkook is faced with someone who is gonna make him question his feelings and actions.
⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ f*boy jungkook x f*girl female reader
⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ some fluff, smut, mild angst, teasing and lots of sexual tension.
⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language, NSFW🔞
❧ banner by: @dojakoo ❧
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Jungkook was lying on the couch in his house while looking at the ceiling. It was extremely plausible to say that his Sunday was being a bore compared to his last two days of the week.
His friends weren't planning to leave the house, you weren’t there for him to distract himself, and Seulgi was ignoring his calls. It was a horrible Sunday.
Despite the inertia that Jungkook's body was in, his head felt like a deep well, running at the speed of light.
All his thoughts, or most of them, were on you. He was trying to understand what was going on in your head, and of course, he was failing miserably.
There were no explanations for your actions, he could never know what your next move would be. He couldn’t quite understand how you had sex with one of his friends and then kissed him as if nothing had happened.
Funny thing tho, he has done the same thing various times, sleeping with a girl and then moving on to her best friend, and even worse. He had once slept with the sister of a previous hook up, both within the same week. But he was never the one in this position, it was as if the roles had been reversed. It was weird as fuck and Jungkook hated the feeling of not knowing what to do.
If only he knew how you felt about him, maybe he'd know better how to deal with you.
Jungkook thought you were considerate of him, even if minimally. But he also thought you purposely tortured him because you hated guys like him – which wasn’t too far away from the truth. For Jungkook, it was an unanswered puzzle. 
That introspective moment was making him rethink his attitude to Jimin. If you were doing all this just for the sake of your fun, there was no reason for him to take it personally. It was always a problem for him when he got carried away by the judgment of his own dick.
It was new for him to feel that kind of feeling. It wasn't really remorse, but it was a feeling that he could have looked at things differently. This had never happened. Most of the time Jungkook thought he was right and went on living.
He felt weird.
His thoughts then returned to you. Jungkook remembered the girl talking about classical literature in his car. She was a nice girl, a nice person to be friends with, but not something he was used to doing. He fucked and left.
He didn't even know if you would want to be friends with him, but he preferred to ignore any and all possibility of getting closer to you than usual.
The rest of his day was like that: complete boredom, and the certainty that this week he would resolve his "situation" with you. Whether it's finally going to bed with you or ending that chase for good.
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On Monday morning Jungkook didn't have his first class, but he was determined to find you. So, he woke up early and, as confident as ever, headed off to college. People had already seen him walking down those halls anyway, it wouldn't make a difference.
Luckily for him, he saw you heading towards the Classical Literature corridors. He hurried to stop you on the way and spare himself any more stares from your fellow humanities.
“Hey!” He yelled, trying to reach you.
You turned to him with a frown. He found it amazing how carefree you always looked.
“Are you lost?” You asked, convinced.
“I don't think so. I think I'm really where I'm supposed to be.”
You chuckled. “God. You’re impossible.”
Jungkook couldn’t help to smile at you, he realized that you had enjoyed seeing him there. Maybe just like him, you liked to feel like you'd gotten attention. If you really liked the attention, Jungkook knew he was on the right track.
“What class do you have now?”
“Latin Literature.” You said looking at him curiously, sounding a little weirded out with that random question. Since when does he care what class do you have?
“Skip it.”
You smiled at the nonsense he had just said, causing him again to smile too.
“What makes you think I would do that?”
This time, it was a different kind of flirtation. Anyone who passed by you could feel the tension involved, but both of you preferred to believe that this conversation was just an exchange of information.
“Well, you're still here, talking to me, aren't you?”
He said smugly while he observed attentively how you bite your lip and take a deep breath.
“Come on, Y/N. Trust me.”
When Jungkook said your name, he noticed that you felt different. As if something had awakened in you. Your posture had softened, and your eyes were steadily staring into his. You were actually considering it. That had to be a win for Jungkook. Finally.
“Fine. Where are you gonna take me?” You asked in defeat while keeping your eyes locked.
“Where do you wanna go?”
It wasn't the best answer he could come up with.
“Surprise me.” You grinned, extremely aware of your own potential.
Jungkook returned the smile and allowed you to lead the way. On the way to the parking lot, several eyes turned to you. He swore to hear people commenting on the two of you but considered himself a little paranoid. It was indeed a crooked path. 
Not that he didn't like being seen with a pretty girl, but you were different, smart, you were sure to use that against him at some point.
You walked ahead of him, making your scent leave trails behind. Jungkook was having a hard time there.
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The ride in the car was silent. Jungkook didn't dare bring up any subject, didn't want anything you said to be another reason for him to think about the night. Meanwhile, his eyes flickered between the street and the girl next to him. You seemed to be too entertained with the view of the city to start any kind of conversation.
Jungkook found himself staring at your uncovered thighs for several moments. The dress you wore was short and sleeveless, leaving your entire cleavage and legs bare. The feeling running through his head was pure anticipation.
Taking you to his house would be too obvious on his part, so he thought of a place he could take you without seeming absurd and you both could be finally alone.
“Did you just take me to a library?” You said in disbelief when you saw him parking.
He laughed. He recognized it sounded ridiculous at first, but he knew the potential of that place.
“Looks like someone doesn't know how to wait for surprises.”
You got out of the car, still looking confused.
“I skip college and you bring me to a place with more books? What kind of fun is this?”
“Shall we?” Jungkook said, ignoring your little complaints. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he found you cute with that confused look all over your face.
As the two of you walked inside the library, you were surprised by a female voice that seemed shocked by Jungkook's presence there. The woman walked towards you and hugged him.
“Jungkook? How long have I not seen you?”
The woman was older, had a tired posture, and on her face was a huge smile.
Jungkook raised his eyebrows, looking over the woman's shoulder at you. You looked scared.
“You can't just disappear like that.”
Gradually your features became friendly. You looked at the two in front of you with a slight smile on your face. It was unusual for you to see Jungkook being dear and kind, and he knew that was weird for you.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Yoon.” He tried to justify but the woman interrupted him.
“Don't give me excuses, start showing up more. How is your father?”
With that question, Jungkook broke the hug. You noticed how quickly his smile dropped but you weren’t going to comment on that. It’s none of your business.
It was a complicated relationship, and Jungkook definitely didn't want to discuss it in front of you or anyone to be honest.
“He is fine. I haven't seen him in a while too.” He said hoping she would wrap up the matter.
“When you see him, tell him I sent my regards.”
“Of course…”  He took a deep breath as he stumbled over his own words. “Could you, eh... give me the key to the back room?”
“Sure.” The woman turned to the key ring, and when she came back, she watched you up and down.
“Oh dear, I’m so sorry, how rude of me, I didn’t see you there. You must be his girlfriend?”
Jungkook felt he could die of embarrassment at any moment. Gradually he was already regretting bringing you there. You both exchanged glances and he could see that you were enjoying the situation. You were standing in front of the woman, waiting for Jungkook to answer the question for you.
Oh God, this was so much fun for you, it’s amazing how much a single word can make Jungkook blush. Free entertainment for your eyes.
“S-she’s not. S-she is… She’s a friend of mine.” Jungkook hated himself for stuttering and even more he hated how amused you seemed to be while observing how nervous he suddenly got. “Mrs. Yoon, this is Y/N.” 
He watched the two women embrace in front of him. He couldn't hear what you said to each other, but you were smiling as if you were the most sociable person in the world.
“Let’s go?” Jungkook noticed that you were getting comfortable there and hurried you along. 
He placed his hand on your back pushing you forward.
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Yoon.”
“Likewise. I hope I see you again, sweetie.” The woman said watching Y/N disappear through one of the corridors.
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Jungkook and you continued walking in silence, until you let out a low chuckle.
“What are you laughing at? What did she say to you?” Jungkook asked, annoyed.
“Wow, what's with that humor? She just asked me to fix you.” You laughed as you tried to formulate your next sentence. “By the way, where are you taking me?”
Jungkook didn't know which phrase he paid more attention to. The fact that Mrs. Yoon thought he needed a girlfriend to be okay irritated him. Your impatience at that moment also annoyed him. 
Appreciating the good relationship between you two and keeping in mind his plans for the future, Jungkook decided to remain silent and continue on his way.
When you finally arrived in front of a small door at the end of the library's central hallway, Jungkook pulled out the key Mrs. Yoon had given him and opened the door. You were at his side, maintaining an eager posture.
He made room for you to enter first and saw you gape for the first time ever. Your eyes stared at every point in the room, as if you were scanning everything.
The environment wasn't much different from the library itself, but there were sculptures and paintings scattered around the corners.
In the middle of the room were two sofas and a rectangular table big enough to hold many books. All the lighting was darker, in yellow tones.
“What is this place? I had never been here before.” You turned to him outraged.
Jungkook laughed weakly. “I would be surprised if you did it. It's my father's collection.”
You continued to walk forward, looking closely at each bookcase. It seemed like it took you a few seconds to process Jungkook’s response when you suddenly stopped and stared at him with surprise written all over your face.
“Wait. Your father has a private library?”
Your disbelief was funny to watch. Jungkook was so used to it all that he didn't understand the appeal. He knew that place would please you and make you easier to talk to. He watched you walk towards a bookshelf in the left corner.
“Do you have a radar?” He asked, referring to the fact that there were Classic books in that corner of the room. He heard your chuckle as you kept observing the books in front of you.
“I still don't believe it, I mean, look at these editions.” You said sounding way more excited than what Jungkook expected.
Jungkook smiled to see you like this. You were like a kid when mom or dad told you that you could have candy before lunch. You were amazed, your eyes sparkled.
In that moment, Jungkook didn't feel like fucking you. It was an almost angelic sight. The level of naivety you were giving off, destroyed all the vision he had about you being a promiscuous girl.
He waited a while for you to leaf through the book in your hand. He didn't want to spoil that for you.
Taking a deep breath, Jungkook remembered his thoughts from yesterday. Maybe this was an opportunity to come clean with you.
“I think I owe you an apology.” The words came bitterly from his mouth. 
Definitely not something he was used to. In the last few days Jungkook was doing a lot of new things he never imagined doing. Apologizing to someone was definitely out of character for him.
You closed the book in your hands and looked up to face him.
“Why?”
Jungkook felt the words choke him. The switch in your gaze was insane. You could be very intimidating sometimes.
A silence took over the room before he could finally speak.
“The last few days I... I... I thought very badly of you.”
His breathing was the only audible sound in the room.
“Because I slept with your friend?”
You simply asked without an ounce of embarrassment. Your face was so serene. The way you remained passive in the face of these situations scared Jungkook.
“Well, one minute you were with me at the bar, the next you were with Jimin. Imagine how I felt.” He said in a steady voice.
“One minute you were with your girlfriend, the next you were courting me in that bar.” You shot back in the split of a second with the calmest voice possible. He wished he could sense some type of jealousy in your words, but right now he wasn’t seeing any signs of that. But then again, it was still really hard for him to read you.
He didn’t expect this to backfire. Technically, you were right. He was indeed with Seulgi before approaching to you that night in the pub, but he just wanted you, he hadn’t even invited her. And suddenly he couldn’t even find the right words to respond to your comeback, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
It’s not like you cared…or did you though? You quickly pushed away those thoughts.
You laughed at Jungkook while keeping your gaze on him. “You’re smarter than that, Jungkook.”
For the first time you had called him by his name. Jungkook could feel a shiver down his spine as he heard his name fall from your lips. Your voice was low enough to make him want to forget about the whole argument and kiss you.
He never thought he could win a fight with you, but at that moment he was absolutely sure he had lost.
Your face remained calm; you knew you were dominating him.
“Jimin is my friend.” Jungkook responded, trying to justify what he considered your "mistake".
“So what? I'm single. That’s the beauty of it, I can be with whoever I want. It's not like I'm cheating on anyone.”
You emphasized the last part of your sentence, which made Jungkook realize his disaffection with Seulgi. He didn’t give two fucks if Seulgi slept with anyone else and of course, he himself didn’t care sleeping with others.
He was the same as you, but for some reason he couldn’t pick up, he was feeling insanely annoyed at the fact that you decided to sleep with his friend. And it was even more annoying to see how unfaced you were about it.
“I honestly don't get you. I don't think I ever will.” His voice came out deeper. It was not his intention to argue with you there, but the path the conversation took proved that to be inevitable.
You were a good distance apart, but for some reason the room felt warm.
“It's annoying when someone acts the same way as you, isn't it?” You said narrowing your eyes. 
Oh, how well you could read him.
It was so obvious that he was jealous, why? You don’t know the answer to that. And for some twisted reason, that thought alone made you feel so freaking horny.
The infamous Jeon Jungkook was right in front of you, looking hot as fuck at the verge of throwing a tantrum because you decided to sleep with his friend and your panties were getting as wet as possible as the minutes went by. If only he knew.
You didn’t know why your body was reacting this way to his little scene, but you were decided to take care of your horniness right here and right now.
You climbed down a step from the top of the bookcase and walked slowly to the sofa rail in the middle of the room.
Now you were face to face, and Jungkook couldn't hide his nervousness. You watched him swallow hard as his hands squeezed the ledge of the other sofa.
You smiled at him.
“I've seen you a lot, Jungkook. Enough to know how much you love going around teasing girls, hoping they'll run after you.”
You kept walking until you were sitting on the edge of the table between the two couches. “But you should know better by now, I'm not gonna run after you.”
At that sentence, Jungkook let a long, heavy sigh escape his lips. He didn't mean to show how much your words bothered him, but your gaze on him was so strong he couldn't help it.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Jungkook said, taking a step forward.
“I never had to go through this in my life. I never had to go to so much trouble to fuck a girl. You took my peace of mind. You are such a misfortune, Y/N.”
Fuck, he sounded so hot. His voice was barely audible. You both felt all the adrenaline rush through your bodies at that moment.
“Still, you brought me here to fuck me, am I right?”
Your sincerity startled him a second time.
He didn't understand how you could be so rational, so tough to pressure him. The world could be collapsing, and you would still remain passive, with your voice low and your posture straight.
You weren't like him. You were so much better than him.
“Yes.” He replied, without an ounce of shame.
“So why aren't you doing it? Why are you still talking?” You said, holding your gaze on him. “Fuck me, Jungkook.”
That last phrase sounded like music to his ears. He didn’t need to be asked twice.
Jungkook walked towards you, closing the short distance that separated both of you. His eager hands went straight to your face, pulling you in for a kiss. You spread your legs so that Jungkook's body fit perfectly with yours.
For a moment he thought he was imagining it.
As your hands grabbed him by his short hair bringing him as close as possible, one of his hands went to your breast, squeezing it without any courtesy.
The hand that was on your face headed to the back of your neck pulling your hair. With your neck exposed, Jungkook began to alternate between kisses and hickeys, causing you to let out a loud moan.
He was good. Almost too good to be truth. Your body was burning with pure desire. The lust that Jungkook had awakened in you, was something else.
Jungkook took advantage of the short dress you were wearing. In the position you were sitting at the table, the hem of your dress was already at your waist, which allowed him to stroke your thighs freely.
Slowly and deliberately, Jungkook's hand began to caress your inner thighs.
This brat. You knew what he was doing. Or trying to.
“Stop teasing me.” You said through a moan in his ear.
Jungkook smiled while he abandoned the crook of your neck, only to face you. He wanted to see what you looked like when you were losing your mind. When you faced each other, you both felt each other’s hot breaths.
You were a mess, first time seeing you like this and what a sight, your hair was disheveled, your dress was wrinkled, and your face was all flushed.
“You’re beautiful.” He whispered, returning to attack your mouth.
Something jumped in the pit of your stomach, but you decided to ignore it and focus on fucking him. You were feeling desperate for his touch and you could sense that he was feeling exactly the same.
He could feel your fingernails running under his face and hair, making him shiver.
When Jungkook's hand approached your folds, he could feel your panties heavy with your wetness.
“God.” He didn't mean to express himself aloud, but he couldn't help it.
He placed his hand on the edge of your panties and lifted his gaze to yours. He didn't need permission, but he felt he should have it.
“Please.” You begged as your hands climbed under his shirt. Fuck, he really works out – you think - you catch yourself salivating when your nails run over his six pack.
Jungkook thought for a second about teasing you a little bit more, but even he couldn't stand between his legs.
He pulled away slightly from you to slip his hand under the wet fabric. Looking at you, he could see your reaction when his fingers were finally inside you.
A faint moan escaped your lips. You stared at him with the same intensity as two of his fingers worked inside you. One of his hands gripped your waist, keeping you steady.
With your face resting on his shoulder, Jungkook listened you let out small, high-pitched moans, causing the intensity of his movements to increase. He felt your hardening nipples brush against his chest. 
He swore he could cum untouched just by the sounds you were reproducing. He was fascinated with you.
It took no effort for Jungkook to realize that you were almost there. Your body began to shake over his fingers, as if you were hunting for relief. 
He pulled your face down and glued your foreheads together. He wanted to see you when you came.
Jungkook increased the speed of his movements, watching you do the same with your waist. You grabbed the strands of his short hair as if your life depended on it.
“I'm gonna… I…I…” Your sentence was brutally slashed by moans that escaped your mouth.
“Fuck, Jungkook.”
Hearing you moan his name as you came motivated him to keep stroking you. It was just like he imagined, even better.
Your face was twisted, but there was a certain concern in your eyes. You wanted him to know that you were going to cum.
“I know.” Jungkook assured you, holding you tighter.
That was enough to make you spill over his fingers. Your legs were shaking, while your breathing was totally uneven.
Jungkook kept his eyes on you, waiting for the moment when you would open yours. Your half-open mouth let out little curses mixed with gasps.
It was Jungkook's personal vision of paradise.
When your eyes slowly opened, and your breathing was steadying, you stared at him hungrily as he licked his fingers deliciously with your scent all over it.
“God. You taste so sweet, Y/N.”
“I want you so fucking bad.” You admitted, taking your hands to his zipper taking him by surprise for what could be the hundredth time already. And God, he was big, so fucking big that you couldn’t wait to feel him inside you.
Unlike Jungkook, you didn't wait for consent. With his erection in your hands, you began to jerk him off as you watched him moan in front of you.
He had thought of this so many times when he was alone. Too many. He had masturbated more times than what he would like to admit at the thought of you. Every time he stroked his dick thinking of you, he imagined that it was your hand instead of his. Imagining how good you would make him feel. And it finally was happening.
He had already given up trying to contain his reactions, his eyes were already closed, and his hands braced around your body, trying to keep steady.
“Oh fuck.” He moaned close to your ear. “I won't last long if you continue this way.”
You pressed the tip of him and saw his body twitch.
“I thought you were better than that.” You provoked him.
“You fucking joking, right?” Jungkook said, gulping. “I've been waiting for this since forever.”
With that, you released him and pushed him away so you could take off your own panties.
Jungkook wasted no time and looked for a condom inside his wallet. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. It was as if that need had been consuming you both.
Duly protected, Jungkook placed himself at your entrance. Teasing you, he played close to your entry, smearing his big cock with all your wetness. 
You were losing it. You threw your head back, waiting for him to fill you in. You couldn’t wait any longer.
“I want to see you.” He requested almost in a prayer.
You looked back at him, and this time licked your lips, smiling mischievously.
Jungkook thrusted inside you, slowly, enjoying every inch of you. Your moans and the naughty smile on your face made him increase the intensity.
He was so fucking satisfied.
It was impossible to explain how good you felt. Jungkook pulled your waist, sealing your bodies. You leaned in and the kiss you gave him was now intoxicating him. Every fiber in his body was living to touch and feel your body.
With each thrust, Jungkook felt your walls clench around him, while hearing your smooth moan between his lips. 
Jungkook was feeling fucking good. He felt his hands tighten on your body, the softness of your face touching his, your nails digging into his shoulders, into that fucking sleave of tattoos on his arm that drove you crazy every time you saw him.
It was indeed heaven on Earth.
He'd been wanting to fuck you so much and for so long, that he felt his body fail after a few violent thrusts.
“Fuck me, Jungkook.” You repeated like a chant. You knew how much he wanted to hear that.
It felt as if he knew your body from another life. You never felt this horny before and the way he was fucking you was almost animalistic. Just the way you like it.
You brought your hands to his hair, pulling him closer to you. You were practically holding each other as Jungkook fucked you on top of his father's library table.
There was something about that place that gave him the confidence he felt he needed with you. The expectation of someone walking through the door, his father's reaction if he knew, everything in there encouraged him to fuck you harder.
“God. You're so fucking hot.” He whimpered.
A few more thrusts and Jungkook felt a dizziness begin to take over his body. He grabbed you by the hair and kept you looking at him. You opened your mouth and began to moan louder, urging him on.
“Come on, Jungkook. Cum for me.” You begged. “Please.”
Jungkook watched your pleading expression before finishing inside you.
“Fuuuuuuck.”
It was warm, tight, wet.
It was all the possible sensations in the world in one place.
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⏤ author's note❧ okay, i'm not gonna even lie. i admit i had to fan myself as i was writing this chapter 🥵. hope you guys enjoy this new update and as I always say: please give it a lot of love if you like it, reblog, leave your thoughts, send me asks. it will be all very much welcomed 🥰
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⏤ tag list❧ @chimsworldsstuff @erica2283 @ahgasegotarmy116
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175 notes · View notes
rainthespiritual · 2 years ago
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Omg for your pre-death Tate fanfic maybe you could do them as friends at childhood and they slowly drift apart and y/n sorta forgets about Tate but he thinks about her everyday and then she catches him doing cocaine or cutting himself in the school bathroom and y/n realises Tate needs support so she be's that for him and stuff
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pt 1 , pt 2
PRE-DEATH TATE LANGDON FIC
Okay im kind of really proud of this fic ITS SO GOOD (or maybe I'm just delusional... anywaysss.)
btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse , depression , suicide , and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty
TRIGGER WARNINGS : tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be and thats all... for now.
Summery: Y/n stumbles into the bathroom only to find old childhood friend Tate...
also sorry if formatting is shit I'm using my phone fml
You walk with your friends down the hall you've seen again and again, tuning them out almost completely like usual. They talk a lot of shit about people you don’t even know. And while gossip can be fun, they are just over the top with it. Every day, it seems they’ve found another thing to complain about.
"___ are you even listening? This is way serious!" you look towards them bags under your eyes they didn't even notice, they never ask or worry about you but expect all of that from you. It was extremely draining, and you often wondered why you still hung around them. But the fear of being alone was stronger than the need to be treated better. You didn’t have anyone else.
"oh no sorry, I was thinking about the project I have to do for Mrs.Ross. Hey, you guys go ahead of me I gotta head to the powder room real quick.." they try talking to you more but you manage to peel yourself away from them as fast as you can, basically sprinting to the bathroom.
You fall sitting on the floor releasing a sigh, glad you could now get a moment of peace and silence.
"___?" your eyes dart open hearing a familiar voice.. a familiar male voice.. in the girl's bathroom?
"Tate? what- what are you doing in here?" you look at him, slightly shocked. You hadn’t spoken to him in what seemed like forever. But truthfully, it had only been a couple of years, well maybe more than that, but long enough for him to have grown. He looks less like a boy, and more like a man now.
"I mean, I should probably be asking you that.. this is the boys' bathroom." He smiles slightly and you notice he's sitting on the counter where the sinks are.
"oh, I- I must have come in the wrong one. I'm sorry.." you look at him again, noticing how much older he looks than when you last saw him. Well, you saw him in the halls and even smiled or waved at him slightly, but you never really talked to him.
"ahh, it's fine. No one else is here just me. I think everyone's in class or at least getting there. The bells are about to ring." he smiles again wiping his nose slightly sniffling it, and you wonder why. ‘Maybe it's allergies’ you think.
"What are you doing up there?" You ask, signaling to the way he's sitting.
"Well, this bathroom is the least used so no one comes in usually.." mumbling a bit he avoids the question, now nervously playing with his fingers.
"I didn't know that, that doesn't answer my question tho. why sit up here?" you stand going to where he is climbing up to sit next to him.
"well just normal stuff I guess." he looks at you slightly thinking a bit before pulling a pack of cigarettes out making you gulp slightly. The only cigarettes you had encountered had been your father's. You tried smoking one when you were 13 but you immediately regretted it vowing to never smoke one again.
"you want one?" he asks smirking slightly at you.
"Oh- no thanks I don't smoke." he laughs slightly putting one in his mouth and lighting it.
"didn't think so." he inhales and puffs the smoke out and you wonder how he can do that without feeling completely ill.
"what does that even mean, I didn't think you smoked but you do so...." you fumble with your fingers slightly nervous around the now much older boy. The last time you talked to him he had to be 11. Maybe 12. It had been years, and you wondered why, why didn't we talk why did we stop being friends..
"well you look innocent, and like you've never touched anything ever." he laughs slightly, "could be wrong though." he continues smoking the cigarette, shaking the ashes from it into the sink. you assume so they can wash down.
"Well I've smoked once, I just absolutely hated it.  mostly did it to spite my dad I guess" you admit, slightly watching him.
"How old were you? you always did hate that fucker. I remember us hiding his beers and shit so he wouldn't be able to find them, he'd get so mad." He states you both laugh slightly.
"I was thirteen? Maybe fourteen. somewhere around there. and I don't hate him, he's just overly annoying all the time."
he laughs slightly thinking the way you feel about the whole thing is cute.
His eyes look you over multiple times, he is clearly taking you in. He had seen you around since the last time you talked but not this full on. Only from afar, never up close. He enjoyed seeing the way you grew into the body he once knew, the face he knew. You looked so much older now it kind of made him sad, seeing how much time had gone by. It really made him think. He wished he had talked to you or atleast tried too, but seeing you with your new friends made him nervous. He never was one to fit in with the popular crowd so he avoided you. And now he deeply regrets it realizing how stupid he was.
"Well. If I'm remembering correctly you kind of did hate him. He was an asshole to you, don't know if that's still true but.. it's what I remember so." you sigh knowing he's partially correct.
"So you're just in here to smoke? or what. I mean you could do that after school or whatever." You ask slightly to change the subject but also because you just are genuinely curious.
"Well.." he starts but stops to think looking away fumbling with his pocket slightly  and you can tell there's something inside. It seems to be a little tin but you can't be sure. "I just wanted to be alone I guess , away from the chaos that is a highschool hallway." he finishes putting his cigarette out and back in the box, you assume to finish later as you've learned from your dad. You both sit in silence for a bit and you realize how weird it is that you came to the same bathroom for the same reason, but there's also a slight comfort in the thought. Knowing you weren't the only one sick of all the noise was comforting because that meant you weren't that weird. Or at least you weren't the only weird one. Either way it made you feel a little better, and it made you wonder more and more why you let this sweet sarcastic boy go.
"That's why I came in here too, I just was.. Over it I guess. Done with being around other people.." you look away slightly avoiding his gaze, him staring at you so intensly made you nervous. Without hesitation he asks you something you don't expect.
"Do you like to be around me?" It's such a bold and forward question that you don't really expect from him. His tone is serious and you realise how much closer he is now, his eyes look into yours and you stare back. The silence says more to both of you than words ever could and it feels like forever almost, when in reality it was only like 30 seconds.
"I do yeah, I feel like you actually know me." He smiles at your words looking away for a moment taking it all in. His eyes meet yours again and he leans in closer. His eyes go to your lips and back to your eyes a couple times, and your eyes do the same.
"Excuse me is anyone in here?" Both your eyes widen slightly hearing a teacher opening the door slightly. Tate jumps off the sink now looking at the door then at you. He signals for you to hide in one of the toilet stalls, which you immediately do. You sit up on the toilet so your feet aren't seen through the slit at the bottom and you hear him start the sink. You think, 'probably to wash down the ashes'.
The teacher walks, his voice loud.
"Aren't you supposed to be in class Mister Langdon?" You cover your mouth trying to conceal your breathing, and you hope it works.
"I mean yeah but.. Y'know.." You can't see him but you assume he gestures towards the bathroom, and the teacher let's out a loud sigh.
"Uh huh, and any idea why the bathroom smells like smoke?" the teacher talks in a angry tone and you feel bad hoping he doesn't get into trouble.
"No idea sir, it smelled like that when I got here." The teacher sighs again almost like he doesn't believe him.
"Okay well come with me, I'll make sure you get to class on-time." you hear them walk out, and the door shut.
Still slightly frozen you stay for a moment  but tense up when the door opens again.
"Meet me here again tommorow, same time." you take a sigh of relief realizing it's just Tate again. With that he walks out again saying something about how he got what he left in the bathroom.
You sigh in relief again kind of asking yourself what the hell just happened. It was weird seeing how affected you were from it all day. It was all you could think about in class, and at lunch. Even at home when you were laying in bed alone, it was weird seeing how one boy you knew so long ago could effect you now. You kind of enjoyed the feeling. The anticipation. You were excited to see him the next day, and you wondered what would happen.
'I guess I'll just have to find out tomorrow..' you thought to yourself. I guess you just will.
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sleepyfishies · 2 years ago
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🌼 So this is love 🌼
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Pairing: Albedo x reader
Content: Pre-relationship, realization of feelings, just very soft, features Klee as well, gender neutral reader
Word count: 868
Note: *taps mic* Hello, hello, does this thing still work? Hell yeah I'm back, in true Fern fashion with some soft Albedo because that's my jam :) Hope you enjoy!
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Albedo never really cared for love. It was a foreign concept for him that he only read about in books, but nothing more than that. Nothing worth his time when he's always so busy with research and experiments, and important things like discovering the truth of this world (Or at least discovering what that's supposed to mean.) Between all that, there's no time for butterflies and anxiety, and whatever else the romance novels describe. Not to mention, it seems like love makes other people act a little silly.
Like Glory, who sits there day in and day out talking about how she can't wait for Godwin to come home, when probably everyone in Mondstadt knows that the very man she was waiting now has been meandering just outside of town for months, too scared to come back due to stupid pride, even tho he knows that his fiancé is scared out of her mind for him. Or Timaeus, who scribbles love poems next to his alchemy notes and gets distracted all the time, not even noticing when the potions he was mixing are threatening to boil over. Love seems to make people lose all sense, so Albedo has decided that he's better off without it.
Maybe that's why, as the two of you grew closer, he didn't recognize the signs at all, despite having read and heard about them so many times. The infamous butterflies that make him feel weird things whenever you smile at him. The way he suddenly falls into a daze while working as well, breaking out of it only to find small doodles of your face littered all across his notes. Or how sometimes his every thought gets consumed by a deep desire to just wrap his arms around you and never let go.
But love is such a foreign concept, so far out of his grasp that surely, that can't be it, right?
It's an innocent comment from Klee that makes him question his feelings for the first time.
"Big brother Albedo?" she asks, looking up at him with big eyes as they're walking home one day.
"What is it, Klee?" He smiles down at her.
"Can we invite y/n to our picknick tomorrow? Please?"
Albedo is a little taken aback. Usually Klee deeply treasures their little family outings. She refuses to let anyone get between her private time with Albedo, to a point where she even rejected Kaeya's request to tag along once. "You really like y/n a lot, huh?" He asks with a small chuckle. "I never saw you try to invite someone along to our outings."
"I like that they make you smile. It makes Klee happy too", the little girl responds, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Also, they make really good snacks so I want them to bring some to our picknick." She adds it more like an afterthought, like it's only secondary to her other reason.
Maybe it meant nothing to Klee, but it leaves Albedo thinking. Does he really smile that much when he's around you? People have commented before that he only ever genuinely smiles when he's around Klee, but no one has ever pointed out the same with you. Although, now that it's been called to his attention... He really does feel a lot happier around you. There's something about you that makes it easy for him to let down his guard. It's a strange realization and he still doesn't understand the meaning of it, but he takes a mental note of it and decides that it requires further investigation.
From that day onward, you're always invited to the family outings with Klee and Albedo. It becomes perfectly natural, like you've always been there. Like it's always been just the three of you, exploring Mondstadt together, having fun little picknicks or arts and crafts afternoons.
It's on one of these days that the realization finally hits Albedo. You're sitting on Albedo's couch, Klee fast asleep in your arms while he makes a cup of tea for the both of you. Albedo watches as you run a hand through the girl's hair, a gentle smile on your face as she snuggles closer into your arms. The soft glow of a candle bathes you in a warm light and he's overcome with the familiar urge to join you, to pull you into his arms and hold you close. That urge has been getting a lot more frequent lately, and he was never able to fully make sense of it.
But at this moment, something clicks for him. The urge to be close to you. The thought of how beautiful you look consuming his mind. The smile still tugging at his lips. The butterflies threatening to burst through his chest. All the pieces fall into place and the realization hits him out of nowhere.
He's in love with you.
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sk8termikey · 9 months ago
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Chapter 3 of 21 Questions
(better interface on wattpad)
Matt had just been chilling in his room when he heard his phone. His brothers – triplets actually – and he were spending the evening alone on their own as they had spent the whole day together filming for their YouTube channel. It had only been two years and a half since they started making content but they were already quite popular on social media. As Matt thought it was either Chris or Nick asking him to drive them somewhere – Matt was the only one among them with a driver’s licence, he took his phone, mentally preparing himself to get dressed and leave the comfort of his bed.
With an obvious surprise on his face, Matt unlocked his phone and saw that it was actually an unknown number that had texted him.
**********
Heyy stranger, wanna play 21 questions? :)
Matt was confused because he wasn’t used to receiving actual texts from random people, except for an occasional wrong number which he would never respond to. As he thought about how he didn’t have anything to do at the moment, why not play.
And so, as Matt replied to the stranger, he learnt that the girl on the other side of a screen was almost the female version of his brother Nick: she loved autumn and had a nose ring – ok it’s not much but this was enough to compare the two. The conversation was nicely flowing between the two teenagers until Matt ended up being called by his youngest brother as Chris was in need of McDonald’s at ten o’clock. Therefore, he had to quickly find a way to leave the girl he was talking to on his phone and took the opportunity of discovering that she was a cat person to funnily exit the discussion, hoping not to appear rude to her – well he was a bit, mystery girl and her best friend had judged him a lot.
~~~
During the next couple of days, Matt actually forgot about the girl who had texted him on a random evening. To be fair, his brothers and he had been busy filming – they had come back from tour last month and settled back into their usual routine. This was the reason why Matt hadn’t responded to the girl. Of course, he wasn’t feeling guilty as they weren’t even friends – yet – but when he saw on the Messages application that he had unread texts from her, Matt remembered that he actually had a good time talking to the mysterious girl; and the fact that his day was sort of over – over in the sense that Chris already ate and thus wouldn't be interrupting Matt again – pushed the middle triplet to get back to know the cat person who he had suddenly abandoned. Now opening their conversation, Matt finally read the last messages from a few days ago.
**********
I’m not apologising tbh
Bc i love my cat with my whole heart
He’s the best
I hope you were joking bc our convo was fun
Anyways, bye then-
Hi stranger, our convo from yesterday was really nice so I hope you might still wanna play even tho  I'm a cat person and you're a dog person but yk what they say: opposites attract :)
Matt had not expected her to re-engage the conversation the day following their first one but he hoped that it was not too late to come back to her.
*********
Good evening stranger, ig I’m a bit late to the party
Been a few busy days lately but if you’re still down it could be fun to continue our game
(dw ab the cat thing, it was maybe too much from me)
While Matt was waiting for the girl to reply – how long it would take, he had no idea as she could be living on the other side of the world and currently sleeping, he tried to make an effort of thinking about a couple of questions he could ask. Matt wanted to keep things engaging, even though they were just getting to know each other. In any case, it was either Saturday or Sunday for his chatmate so he would probably get an answer before the week-end was over.
Matt actually only had time to brush his teeth and change into his pyjamas after a short shower when he heard his phone. Curiosity took over him as he quickly grabbed his phone and a light smile appeared on his face when he saw the positive reply from the girl.
*********
Good evening stranger, ig I’m a bit late to the party
Been a few busy days lately but if you’re still down it could be fun to continue our game
(dw ab the cat thing, it was maybe too much from me)
Hiii!
No worries, we each have our life so you had some right to be occupied w smth else
(i think i can forgive you for that, we’ll see later)
Matt felt relieved in the sense that talking so light-heartedly to someone completely unknown was calming in a way. From the little conversation they had had a few days ago, he already knew that this would be a safe place where he wouldn’t be judged – apart from liking dogs more than cats. He decided to immediately write back for he wanted to get to know the girl better.
**********
Glad we’re ok now
By rereading our last messages, I see that it should be your turn to ask a question so I’ll wait for it
Ok ok lemme think quickly
We’re gonna start back w smth simple i hope
What’s your go-to comfort food?
My stomach needs to take over for this question
I feel like it’s an easy one but I have multiple choices rn
It’s ok, give me a top 3 ig
So I’d say tacos, nuggets and pasta
(in no particular order)
I want YOUR top 3 now
Yepp ofc
Mine would be pizza, sushi and fries maybe
No particular order as well
Yours are absolutely valid
I fuck with pizza and fries but not sushi sorryy
If I were fucking petty I would leave the convo like you did
But I’m not, soo :))
That’s low
I deserve it tho
Self-aware king!
We need to find common ground tho
Like a question we FULLY agree on
So much pressure on me rn
This is a serious question (like every other one honestly) so you can only choose the right answer
Damn pressure on ME now
It’s technically a double question if you answer negatively to the 1st one
Do you play pokemon? Or have you played as a child?
OMG
HAND IN MARRIAGE NOW
WHAT
WHY
(DO I NEED TO SCREAM TOO?)
BRO
I LOVE POKEMON
(AND YEAH WE SCREAMING RN)
REALLY???
YEAH OFC
MY ENTIRE CHILDHOOD
Even nowadays i still play sometimes
Wow
I wasn’t expecting that
I mean I was hoping
But it’s really nice to know that you do
Which ones do you like?
My faves are probably X and sapphire alpha
Honestly just the ones on DS bc they slay
Like
I don’t have the nintendo switch so I stopped buying the latest games
But i like to come back to them sometimes
And i also played a couple on game boy color as well
Ok ok good to know
I’m more of a pokemon go guy tbh
Like when I’m driving I have this thing that catches pokemon for me
That is so cool!!
I’ve never really been keen on pokemon go
But the whole universe in general has always looked amazing to me
Yeah I totally agree
See
This is common ground
Yayy you’re right :))
I thought of a next question but you don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable
Go ahead dw I’ll tell you if I am :)
What’s your name?
I can even tell you mine first if you prefer
I just don’t wanna keep calling you the random guy I texted
And maybe putting a contact name would be nice😅
Matt unconsciously started typing his name when he paused to think about it: this was a stranger – a nice one though, there was no way she would find out who he was just from the information he had given her. How many Matts out there in the world have brothers, love pokemon and dogs? Quite a lot he hoped. This is fine, what are the odds? – turns out that the odds were actually pretty fucking huge from the beginning but let’s not spoil it and just keep the foreshadowing light.
**********
My name’s Matt
I don’t mind giving it out, it’s fine
Not like you asked for my fucking address lol
Bro I would never- this would be so messed up
I’m Lily btw
Nice to meet you Matt
Nice to meet you too Lily
As Matt and Lily were both finally able to change the contact name of the other, their faces were illuminated with genuine smiles due to the bond they were creating. And although it was simply the beginning of a blooming friendship, the door to a new chapter of their lives was about to open.
Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad
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thedeal-if · 2 years ago
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Not gonna lie here, but something kinda died inside of me, when i saw that Nathan is pretty much allergic to children(cause i adore them irl), but it made me wonder about two things.
Oh and i can completely understand why certain ROs are just not made to have childeren.
1: I was wondering why can't angels get children, considering that irl there are beeings like nephilim/cambions described in Myths, Tales, Books etc.. Does that mean that in this universe there are no halfbreeds(not meant in a derogatory way), between different species?
2: Following up with the ask about kids, how would the ROs react(those who actually can get children in a biological way), to accidently becoming a parent? Answer only if comfortable
I have to say that maybe I worded it wrong but Nathan isn't allergic to children, dw anon!! He has always had very important things on his plate and it has never left him any time to think about anything else. It's kinda sad but Nathan only began to truly live his life the moment he started to Fall.
When it comes to children, if his partner asked he'd be like "Oh, that's right, those exist" and just *shrug*. Nathan has never given having kids any thought but he could be convinced ^^
He is very much allergic to being responsible tho... But who knows? People evolve, they can change. They can meet good influences, bad influences. Really, who knows?
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1. Okay, td lore! I'm trying not to mention much and I'm crossing my fingers not to get asked about my worldbuilding because I cave to pressure too easily and will definitely gush lol. Tbh I thought it'd be much more fun for people to realize this as they play, finding out things alongside MC and all that. But maybe some explanations are in order 🕴️
To clarify: Christian/Catholic/Judaism/etc lore is, of course, the foundation of my own, but don't expect me to follow the Bible to a t 🫂 I always meant for The Deal to be a reimagining of religion as we know it, but I've included many more layers in terms of... everything (ex. Lovecraftian lore)! I think it's pretty interesting to take the core of a topic and rewrite some of it to make it more exciting.
Needless to say, I don't mean any disrespect towards religion in any way shape or form but sticking to it blindly has always rubbed me the wrong way as a person who isn't and has never been religious.
Now, the answer to your question (sorry for the rant 😭💕) ik about Nephilim and cambions (as someone who's read superstition a billion times), and Nephilim aren't a thing here. Cambions are tho!
When it comes to Angels... Think of them as one of those automated machines in factories. They fulfill their function and are scraped or thrown away when broke beyond repair. That's kind of how the Gods see Angels.
I've promised myself to say nothing about Genies until MC at least meets Aliyah. But let's just say she can't procreate either.
2. As for the accidental parent scenario I'll leave it below the cut (dw btw I'd say it's pretty hard to make me uncomfortable lol I'll answer anything)
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Dante, Lilith, Josh, Victor, and Eden can have biological children! Villanelle is technically on that list but she's very much sex repulsed and won't ever be in this situation🫂
Though Dante isn't stoked at the thought of children this kind of changes when he thinks of that kid as his. He's not that taken aback by surprises—even if they're major ones like having a child—Dante likes taking challenges with a smile. If he feels like it's his choice and his partner isn't forcing the idea of parenthood on him, Dante would accept his role with a very positive outlook ^^
Doesn't mean he'll be a good dad tho lol
Lilith feels deeply troubled by her nature and thinks that it'd be best not to create any more beings of hell. She has ingrained a very cataclysmic point of view about any potential children she might have. To Lilith, motherhood is a dream. But not like that.
She'd be such a good mom tho💕
Josh feels like he's been punched in the gut lol he can't handle unexpected turns of events. If it's something his partner is excited about Josh would try not to bring the mood down, he'd want to see it as a positive thing. Definitely would read parenthood blogs for hours during the entire pregnancy.
Victor would be so excited I think he'd forget about any complicated situations and all his problems as soon as his partner told him. It's always been one of Victor's deepest and most profound dreams, and to have his partner fulfill it— he would never dare to even consider it an accident. Much like Josh he'd be the World's most prepared Upcoming Dad™ lol
Eden doesn't typically panic but he would lose his mind lol. I said he kind of leaned towards preferring not to have children but for the entire situation to be forced on him like that would be overwhelming. If the situations are right, if Eden feels like he has the specific kind of support he would need to parent a child... He might change his mind and not be so negative about it ^^
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idioticsky · 2 years ago
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Hehehe! Another night without sleep but another story to write! (even tho it's not night-) here you go @doodle17
It had been weeks since Oleander came with his question, but Loboto couldn't get his mind off it, no matter how hard he tried. It stuck in his brain like an infection, spreading to all parts of his mind. What would Raz think if he knew? He can't know.
"Out of all the places for psychic brain farming, why did it have to be the summer camp?.." Cal thought to himself while looking over the plains Coach drew up.
"Hey papa!" Razputin said while running over to give his father a hug. "What ya up to?"
"O-Oh!" Cal scrambled to hide the plain from his son's sight, he also tried his best not to think about it either so he couldn't read his mind. "Just some work plains! I was trying to find another treatment for Gloria, but you know how hard it can be. Anyways, enough about that, what have I told you about sneaking away from camp at night?" Cal glared at his son, trying to change the subject.
"To not do it unless it's an emergency I know I know, but this time I really do have a problem!"
"Which is?"
"I can't sleep." Raz said with a smile, which his father couldn't help but return.
"What are we going to do with your Razputin?" Cal asked his son.
"Love your son." He replied.
Cal let out a small laugh before taking Raz to bed, then handing him over to the lung fish to take him back to his cabin.
--------------------------------
Later that night, Loboto went to talk with Oleander. He knew he had to turn down working for him, for not only his son's but all the campers safety.
"Loboto, so nice to see you. How do the plains look?" Oleander said while pouring a small shot of whiskey.
"The plains look fine, while I'm more worried about at the current moment is how you got alcohol in a summer camp." Cal said, turning down a shot.
"Eh, when you work here, you know how to sneak a few things in."
"Whatever, I came to tell you that I can't do this! All this is cruel to the children, and as a father myself I can't be!-" Loboto was quickly cut off.
"Listen Cal, I get that you don't want to do this. But think of all the good it can do at the same time, we can wipe out those who think psychics should be 'fixed' in one way or another. You won't have to worry about the danger that they could bring to, oh what was his name again? Gaz?"
"Raz.." Cal corrected, intrigued by what the coach had to say.
"Right right, but Raz could be safe from people like them, you wouldn't have to home school him out of worry that something might happen, you wouldn't have to worry about exposing him to the world because of people like them. We can get rid of them all, how does that sound?" Oleander said, taking a sip of his shot while looking up at Loboto.
Could this be real, could they really do it? If they did, then Raz could see everything he ever wanted. He could be free from staying at home or camp all day and night. He could be happy.
".. ok, fine, I'll do your plan Oleander, but keep my son's brain out of it."
"Fine by me Cal, you got yourself a deal." Oleander said with a smirk. "You should head back, it's late and we have work to start tomorrow."
--------------------------------
The summer was almost over, only two more days of camp, everything was going along fine now. The tanks powered by brains, great. Cal making sure his son never found out, also great. Now, how to get the brains without harming the kids.
"Oh no-" Cal thought. "This will be harder than I thought-" Cal sighed while trying to figure out how to do things. Then it hit him, an idea that made his stomach tie itself into a knot. What if he got Raz involved? He hated this idea from the bottom of his heart, but with so little time, he might just have to. But just in that moment, Raz showed up.
"Hi papa! Ready for a fun day of tag and hide and seek before camp is over?" The child looked up at his dad with stars in his eyes.
You see, today was a day where some kids had to head home early, so there was going to be a full day of games for the kids and parents to enjoy. But in the downside, if Oleander and Loboto wanted a decent amount of brains, they had to stike today.
"Yeah, yeah of course. But Razputin, I want to talk with you about something before we start." Cal met his son's gaze, the guilt of what he was about to ask hitting him like a truck.
"Yeah papa?"
Cal took a deep breath. "Razputin, you know I would never do something with the intention to hurt you, or anyone I care about for that matter.."
"Ok?"
"So you'll understand why I need to ask you this.."
"I'm starting to lose the point here.-"
"I need you to help lure the other children into traps to steal their brains to put into tanks that will help make the world safer for you by getting rid of all the anti-psychic people out there!" Cal explained with lighting speed, then taking a moment to catch his breath. "That was a lot to say." Cal looked back at Raz, who had a look of horror and disgust on his face.
"Papa, I love you and everything, but what the actual fuck?!" Raz snapped.
"Raz I!-"
"No! No no no no no! I can't do that! They're my friends! The only ones I've made out of thorny towers and most likely the only ones I'll have since I can't got out into the real world! I won't hurt them like this!" Raz yelled, angry tears starting to form in his eyes.
"But Razputin! Think about all the good it could do! If this works, then we can make it so you can go out into the real world! You can make more friends then you ever would here!" Cal snapped back, his patience wearing thin.
"No! I won't do this for you! Even if what you're saying is true, this is just cruel!" Raz yelled back, the tears that had formed in his eyes just a moment ago starting to fall to the ground as he stared at his dad.
"RAZPUTIN LOBOTO! AS YOUR FATHER I COMMAND YOU TO WORK FOR ME!" Cal yelled, not wanting to let these words slip out, but they had.
His son looked at him with a face full of shock, no glaring, no nothing. He just.. looked at his dad, he never knew he could get that mad. Guess that was mixed in with the mad scientist gig he was in for awhile. Once Cal realized what he had done, the guilty feeling he had just a moment ago resurfaced.
"Raz.. I-I'm so-"
"Save it.. I get that your work is more important than me being happy right now" Raz said, looking down at the ground before running off into the words.
"Razputin!.." Cal called out, which Raz ignored.
--------------------------------
"Raz! Razputin where are you?!" Cal called out, trying to find his son anywhere.
It had been hours since Raz ran off, the sun was setting and kids were heading home except for a few. All the games have been packed up and put away, and things were starting to close down at the camp.
Cal walked through the forest, pushing a few branches out of his way before coming to a clearing with a river. Odd. Where has he seen this before. No time to question that though, because where was Raz, sitting right next to that river of course.
"Raz!" Cal ran over and bent down next to his son, starting to examine him to see if he was hurt. "Are you alright?! No cuts no blood?!"
Raz stayed silent, but he nodded as a response.
"Listen Raz, I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry for what I said, for what I tried to do.. I just wanted the world to be safe for you, for you to be welcomed into society instead of being cast out from it like I was.."
Raz looked up at his father, willing to listen to him talk, but won't say anything in return.
Cal took a good look around before he began to speak. ".. You know, I never told you how I found you, but I think you're old enough to know now..
"I was walking out here one night, trying to find a new test subject for something, I can't remember what anymore. When I heard you crying. I followed the sound for a long as I could, but in the end, I wound up here. And I saw you in the water that's right in front your eyes, Razputin."
"Really?.." Raz said quietly, almost to the point where you couldn't hear him at all. But Cal did, and he nodded.
"From that point on, you were Razputin Loboto, my one and only child. The one person I love more than anything else.."
"Well if you cared that mush why try to put my friends in death machines?.." Raz groaned.
"I never wanted to Razputin, I wanted to refuse but Oleander got into my head and-"
"Wait, Coach Oleander was behind all of this?" Raz looked at his dad, confused and a little angry. His dad nodded to answer his question.
Raz grabbed his father's had and started to try and drag him. "We need to tell Sasha and Milla!"
Cal didn't want to get the Psychonauts involved but that what's going to happen now, so he followed his son all the way to the two agents, where they explained everything.
Oleander was caught and was going to be released from his job at the Psychonauts but Cal knew he could change, so hee tried to reason with the agents. And to his delight, it worked. Oleander was going to be suspended from his position for a while, but he wasn't going to lose it for good. Although he did need to do some therapy or something to change his ways.
--------------------------------
Once that was all said and done, Raz hugged his dad.
"Sorry for running off Papa.." he said, not bothering to look up at his dad, who smiled while hugging back.
"I'm sorry for going along with Oleander's plan for so long.."
"Yeah you really screwed up there." Raz said with a little laugh.
"I really did." Cal laughed a bit with his son.
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sleepyowlwrites · 2 years ago
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15 Questions for Copper
I have two tags from Breezy, so you get a Copper one and a Rune one, so all three of our mains will be taken care of. in honor of the efforts of my tagger, I'll try and make this one more creative than Jet's. tho. Jet's was always going to be straightforward. that's who he is. anyway. @blind-the-winds (sidenote: my playlist for you SLAPS)
Yarrow skips up to Copper, a notepad and pen clutched in his hands. "I have a request!"
Copper eyes Yarrow over the rim of his coffee-to-go cup. "Am I so favored that you're going to draw me?"
"No." Yarrow taps the pen on his arm. "I mean, sure. I can draw you, if you want. I like it to be spontaneous, and the vibes to be so bright they're sparking at me, you know? Right now I have a different request."
"Okay." Copper perches on the arm of Moss' couch. "What is it?"
"First of all, do not sit on the arm. Moss will make you clean the garage if you do that. Second, and more importantly," Yarrow continues as Copper moves down to the cushions with a disgruntled sigh, "I would like to interview you."
Copper frowns up at him. "Didn't you already interview Jet?"
"Yes," Yarrow says impatiently, "and he was terrible. I should've anticipated it. It was too boring to use. Please help me out!"
"Okay." Copper pulls his feet up and then stops to kick off his shoes when Yarrow gives him a look. He situates himself on the couch, cross-legged.
"Okay!" Yarrow sits beside him, pen poised to write down the answers.
1. Are you named after anyone?
"Not as far as I know. I think Jet and I were named after 'objects of middling value to keep us grounded' or that could just be the excuse my parents gave to people who asked."
Yarrow scribbles that down. "Jet didn't say anything about that."
"Are you surprised?"
"No."
2. When was the last time you cried?
Copper sips his latte. "Last week, I guess, when Jet and I had another discussion."
"About how he's allowed to feel things?"
"Yeah."
3. Do you have any kids?
Copper just raises a brow.
"It's in the questions! I didn't pick them, I just ask them."
"No."
Yarrow writes "NO" on his pad. "Would you?"
Copper scratches gently at the skin on his wrist. "Maybe."
4. Do you use sarcasm?
"Sure, you've heard me use it. Mostly with Jet and Jet 2.0."
Yarrow eyes Copper curiously. "Honestly I think she shares just as many similarities with you."
Copper chews on his cheek.
6. What’s your eye color?
"Golden-y brown, if I'm allowed to be specific."
"You are. I think they're a pretty dark gold, though."
"Let me have this."
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
"Happy endings, 100%. Real life has plenty of scares in it already."
"What scares have you faced?" Yarrow adds a checkmark for flair.
Copper looks at his latte. "Well. There was the whole being separated from my brother for no discernable reason."
Yarrow just nods slowly to that.
8. Any special talents?
"I like to think I have a knack for reading people, but it seems more like I'm just good at reading Jet." Copper looks at his latte again. "I'm pretty good at retaining what I read. And I can guess people's ages most of the time."
"You can get Hawk to socialize with the rest of us."
Copper chuckles without noise. "Is that a talent?"
"I'm counting it."
9. Where were you born?
"Here, but many, many streets away." Copper gulps at his rapidly cooling drink. "Haven't been back there in a while."
10. What are your hobbies?
"Do I even have any right now?"
Yarrow shrugs. "I thought it was the labor-intensive rehabilitation of Jet's emotional spectrum."
Copper exhales sharply. "You- really have a talent for hitting at situations, huh."
"I'm just observant." Yarrow half-smiles.
11. Have you any pets?
"No. Pets aren't my thing, anyway."
12. What sports do you play/have played?
Copper laughs for real this time. "Jet has tried everything with me. If it includes a ball or some kind of object in motion, he's attempted to teach it to me. I kinda took to basketball for a while, but it was only fun playing with Jet, since, you know, he's my height."
13. How tall are you?
"174cm."
"Is that how tall Jet is?"
Copper pouts. "He's 175 now, apparently. I thought it would bother me."
"It doesn't?"
"Only in the most superficial sense."
14. Favorite subject in school?
"History, which is ultimately why I studied anthropology. I just like looking at how humans dealt with being humans throughout the timeline. The things that changed. The things that never did. We're all still people, whatever time our stories happened, and we could never stop telling them."
Yarrow smiles as he writes. "You can be poetic when you want to be."
"Thanks, I guess."
15. Dream job?
"Honestly?" Copper leans against the couch, suddenly tired. "I don't know. All I think about these days is whatever Jet is up to, and that situation doesn't seem about to resolve swiftly. I can't think about long-term for me until I know what might happen in the short-term. The priority is not losing Jet again."
"That's not wrong, you know." Yarrow sets his notebook aside. "You don't have to have lofty dreams or super detailed goals. You can just live right now and treasure what you have. I mean. Time doesn't stop and you have to look forward sometime, but you're a forward looking person by nature. I think it's good for you to look at right now."
Copper turns his head into the couch. "And you're a person who always looks at right now."
"I look at the spectrum," Yarrow corrects. "I just always choose to look at right now because that's what I want to. I could learn from you."
"We can learn from each other, then," Copper says, just a little breathless.
Yarrow reaches out to hold Copper's hand. "We absolutely can."
I'm a little late to this, so if there's anybody who hasn't done this yet, OPEN TAG! and uh @enchanted-lightning-aes @nopoodles @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @sarahlizziewrites @rains-inky-mind ?
I guess I should also use the taglist: @zoya-writes @oh-no-another-idea @selene-stories @diphthongsfordays @wildswrites
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cheemken · 1 year ago
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Whenever I check the Drayton tag, it always makes me smile to see new asks on this blog. Truly fueling my thirst for Drayton stuff that's angsty or wholesome like to each their own but a lot of Drayton stuff I've seen often paint him being a bully / antagonistic to Kieran. Seeing many anons share their hcs has been so nice!
I wanna share some BB E4 hcs!
- Crispin likes to experiment with his cooking! Drayton is often his testing buddy before giving the improved versions to Lacey and Amarys. Drayton complains playfully about Crispin playing favourites
- Amarys manages the club budget so she usually checks the requests made to utilise it. She often rejects Drayton's suggestions of holding 'wild parties' under the guise of team building / bonding'.
- Lacey and Drayton have crossed paths with one another when they were kids. Clay and Drayden have brought them to party events before. For as much as Lacey gets on Drayton's case about how he dodges the administrative side of the club, she trusts him with the battling side.
- Despite his slacker status, Drayton is actually really good at handling new members who are super shy / nervous. His laid back attitude and chattiness helps ease these members, and he's also open to answering battle related questions. It still surprises his friends when he just rambles about different training methods for Dragon-types, sounding rather animated for once
Anon I'm fucking crying these are so dope cbxmbcnd ough BB E4 friendship is so really your honour it's so so real and so canon and they're really close and they remind me of the og Unova kids in my hcs hcmdbd
But also of fucking course Drayton would throw parties and say they're for team building exercises lmfaooo Amarys has to really check their budget lest someone falls for Drayton's "team building exercises" again hahaha
Also Drayton and Lacey childhood friends🥹🥹
Your honour imagine cbxnxn that'd be so cute but also since they're childhood friends they're also kinda like siblings lmfao, ofc Drayton's gonna annoy Lacey too, Iris isn't the only one who's fun to annoy. But also, not only do guys run away when Lacey mentions Clay is her dad, but imagine if Drayton is also part of the reason they run away hahah
Like they know Drayton is so chill and laid back, but they also know how protective he is of his friends, plus they're not gonna fucking challenge a champion level trainer that's actually trained by a legit champion, his Archaludon can probs sweep their teams. But it'd also be funny if Lacey is so so unaware of Drayton like, looking threatening from behind her, giving off the vibes that he will let his Archaludon attack at any guy or girl who wants to be w Lacey lmfao
But also him being like that to all his friends, like if he doesn't like someone, they would know, cause his smile is a bit too forced when talking to them
Also isn't it canon that Crispin kinda has a crush on Lacey?? Fucking imagine that convo w Drayton lmfaooo
Just "Lacey's really cute, should I ask her out??"
"if you value your life, no."
"huh? Why? Is it because of her dad?"
Your honour pls he's just a lil bit oblivious bcmxbd hahaha
Also y'know Crispin low-key gives off enby vibes, idk, it's the way he looks, idt he'd care much abt how people perceive him, all he cares abt is his friends, pkmn, and cooking
Speaking of cooking imagine if he's like, Gordon Ramsay kinda guy when he gets pissed off when someone ruins a dish tho lmfaooo imagine him yelling out cussed bc someone used the wrong technique or ingredient for a dish or even just dissed smth he made
I picture Amarys not being able to cook that well, everything she makes always gets burnt, Crispin once invited her over to teach her how to cook starting w basics but for some godforsaken reason she still managed to burn grilled cheese
"how..?? How in the Distortion World did you fuck that up??"
"that's the first time I've heard you say that word. Is it truly that bad?"
"Amarys, look at me in the eyes and take a bite outta that sandwich. Is it edible to you? Do you think it's edible? Do you think it's something people would willingly eat?"
He made her redo it ten more times till she got it right hahaha
But yeah omf these are so dope anon chxmnd
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diorgirl444 · 2 years ago
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ahh im so excited for the gg matchups omg <3 i actually cannot wait - my latest obsession fr
my name is eva rose - eva's fine though lol - and i'm straight with she/her pronouns. i'm a sagittarius with a virgo moon and an enfp. (i think im an ambivert tho)
i'm 5''3 with auburn curly hair and a pretty petite hourglass figure. i have freckles pretty much all year round - but only on my cheeks and the tip of my nose. my eyes are blue but look green in certain lighting. ever since i was abt 5 or 6 ive always wanted to get a couple of tattoos but im not old enough yet 😭 i love the idea that your body can be art, and i think tattoos can express that so beautifully
i would describe myself as observant, fun, genuine, intuitive and witty. i like to get to know people & ask them questions, im pretty open personally. how much i talk changes massively depending on my mood although i do end up rambling about nothing once i get invested in the conversation lol.
im pretty ambitious which can sometimes cause severe burnout, but i hate pushing myself further than i can and i am learning to set good boundaries. i am a relatively anxious person, but im rlly getting better at managing that. i'm also a massive hopeless romantic and my love language is quality time - and sometimes physical touch.
my dream is to become a music journalist or to run a bookshop when i'm older, although i love psychology & history <33 i've been described as jo march & lizzie bennett & i agree, but i also think im a bit like meg tbh.
i feel most at home during autumn & during starry nights. i like adventures but at the end of the day i prefer being at home. i love art galleries, astronomy, late night conversations, biking and listening to music - i like the beatles, fleetwood mac, abba, lily allen, lana del rey, bowie.
my favourite things in the world are my cd collection & my family <3 (cd collection comes first ofc lol)
your perfect matchup is 𝐝𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐲𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐤𝐢 💌
𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢����𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 <𝟑
𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝟐 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 <𝟑
because stars hollow is such a small town the chances are you’d bump into dave pretty quickly but i think you wouldn’t properly speak to him till his band was  established.
in my mind you would write for the stars hollow news as their music journalist.. 
so when a new band, which goes by the name of Hep Alien, appears on the scene you know you have to go write an article on them.
what you don’t imagine happening is finding the love of your life there!!!
you invite all the band for coffee at luke’s to talk to them about the band and the minute dave sees you he’s smitten.
he thinks your ever so pretty with your curly auburn hair and sweet smile.
then you speak and he’s blown away because not only are you super pretty but also clever and love music.
your literally his dream girl ok???
(his friends notice this immediately and tease him for it after)
the interview goes super well and let’s be real you think he’s pretty cute too so you share contacts ya know just in case you need to talk again!!!
the pair of you spend the whole night on the phone chatting…
which makes it extra special when he turns up at your house next day with your favourite flowers and tickets to go see a gig in hartford together and could you really say anything but yes???
𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 <𝟑
i think you two are real creatives like your energies just bounce off one another perfectly.
dave is always writing songs about you to the point where if he released an album it would have to be called eva rose!!!
he remembers everything about you!!!
 be that the outfit you were wearing the day the pair of you met, your favourite book or even what lipstick shade matches your skin tone the best.
also you and lane; besties!!!!
your parents love him, he’s literally the perfect son in law.
your mom is already planning your wedding.
dave is also like constantly staring at you!!!
you’ll be like “what!?!” and he’ll just be like “you are really pretty, you know that right…”
it always flusters you, to be honest though like he’s always flustering you by how perfect he is.
he definitely tries to teach you guitar, like you’ll be sitting in front of him both your arms wrapped around the guitar with him just constantly kissing your cheek!!!
i feel like you’d call him davey as well and he’s have a super cute nickname for you like angel.
his friends tease him about you but really they’re just happy that he’s found someone who loves him so much.
you two when your old enough definitely get tattoos together.
move along rory and dean because you two are the cutest possible stars hollow couple and i’m not taking criticism on that!!!
𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 <𝟑
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hugs and kisses, flo <3
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just-some-random-blogger · 11 months ago
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Happy born day Mike (:
Michael couldn’t be more excited. He looks proudly at the poster indicating the date and place of his birthday. 
))))))): MY PUPPY LUV
But he intended to do something fun about it, with the pool table and maybe some game algebraic beer pong. Who knows? It was his birthday, so he did the rules.
ALGEBRAIC PINGPONG???????? 2HAT THENFUCK ISNTHAY
Michael looks defeated. Even if he stands there, angry, with the few gift bags on his hands, he feels embarrassed. He wanted to do one nice thing for himself, just once. It wasn’t as cheap to rent a hall for his birthday (he couldn’t do it anywhere else, truly, but he thinks that maybe the pub would have been nice even if few of his mates didn’t drink beer)
MY POOR BABY BOY FUCK OLIVER I NEVER LIKED THAY STUPID FUCK FUCK YOU
Michael walked as the crowd quickly dispersed, and he grabbed the few gifts he received, and looked at his distressed mates. 
😭😭😭😭😭😭 cryinggg like I genuinely feel so bad for them what the fuck
“Michael” two of his friends approach him, and he looks at them “We could rescue the biscuits and the cake” They say proudly as they have it in his hands. 
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As he collects the pool balls, and walks upstairs to return them, he is very downhearted. He remembers the time that he invited his friends from school and only his cousins and his neighbour appeared to his party; very embarrassing and he hated celebrating his birthday with a party ever since. It was mostly his mum and granny, with his dog and cat. Nothing else, nothing too fancy.
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It's on sight Oliver dafaq
He might need to apologise, and even face the idea that they might be annoyed at him, and maybe they’ll kick him out from the chess team.
I will riot if they kick him out
God, it was a lot of pink in one person. 
Thanks ☺️☺️☺️💖💖💖💖💄💄💄💄💄💄
Michael blinks a bit as he looks at you, trying to process the words in his head but he fails. “Uh… this is my birthday party” he admits embarrassed and awkwardly, as he looks away to not face the shame, and he adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
My poor baby girl I'm so sorry
“Of Pi” he repeats “Like the pi from maths”
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
“I am not pitying you. It is not why I like you. Come on, do you think I am pretty at least?” You ask as you change your body weight from one foot to the other while looking at him with the most alluring smile he has ever seen. 
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“Okay, we’ll search it” you say without any problem about it. “I could sing happy birthday to you and you can blow the candles”
Ok girl. Ur so valid for that tho
“Your bed is comfortable” You say smiling as you pat your right side for him to sit by your side. “Come, sit!”
😭😭😭😭 girl u don't live there
“Uh… Why not? We aren’t many, we are just seven, and with you we would be a pair number, so we could play a chess match since we are a pair. If you don’t know I could teach you” He offers. God, why did he accept this? Because you were pretty and all smiles with him, but he didn’t know what women like you liked…
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He's so baby girl
“No…” You say again, with that damn tone that he can’t decipher. “You are not really good at hints, are you?”
😭😭😭😭😭 nope but you been knew
He stays silent, looking at you as he tries to get it. “Eh… no, but I am really good at maths…”
💔💔💔💔💔💔 I want him
It was different from how he imagined. He thought that at his first time, he would lead the way, he would be confident (because he knew about porn and how these things worked) and he would be dominant enough. Yet now, he feels unsure, trembling as his balls shaked in need to release, because you were amazing and so hot. 
This is why people should RADICALLY decrease watching porn (I say as I read porn 😋) BUT FR ITS DIFFERENT
“You wanna see my tits?” You ask with a sweet tone, as if it was the normalest question ever. You have seen his eyes drop to your breasts and then to your face, it was cute.
HAAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
You giggle at his words, he surely was odd from all the guys you knew. Perhaps his lack of experience, perhaps his nerdy personality. You don’t know, but you find yourself wanting to do all filthy and kinky things with this nerdy man.
Samedt
“Here” You say, grabbing his hand and leaving your panties in his hand. He looks at you, and you add “Another gift. You can keep it” [...] “Thank you..” he says as he appreciates this odd gift. He has no idea what use it may have apart from the sentimental one, but maybe it is like his own trophy? 
😭😭😭😭😭😭✋ man's like I don't understand you but thank you HAJAJSJSJJS
Now he knows. Why men went to war for women. Why Troy was destroyed, for stealing one woman. Why men went insane for the touch of a woman. He gets it now. 
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“I wanna make you feel good” He says looking at you, almost begging for you to teach him how. He wants to know the secrets that could have you squirm and moan crazily over him, as he was over you. 
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“Your hand” You say, and he got the clue now. He is a quick learner, and instead of letting you hold his hand, he moves it down to your pussy. 
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I loved this bimbo x nerd if everything
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This party is boring... wanna leave?
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✧ masterlist ✧ taglist ✧
Summary: The party you are in is boring, so you ask a cute nerd guy to leave with you... that is, until you find out this is his birthday party.
✧Pairing: Michael Gavey x Fem!Reader
✧Warnings: MDNI 18+, p in v, virginity loss, oral (m receiving), overall sweet, michael being a total nerd virgin.
✧Word Count: 7.8k
✧AO3 link: here
note: so i saw this tweet in my 2020 ig histories and i said... michael gavey coded, and here we are. Here is the original tweet (wendy and joy from red velvet haha) and AGAIN this is infinite i swear i am allergic to write things under 5k
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Michael couldn’t be more excited. He looks proudly at the poster indicating the date and place of his birthday. 
Nothing too glamorous, he rented one of the halls for hire in Oxford, the same one that they used for the Christmas party that (to no one’s surprise) he wasn’t invited. But he intended to do something fun about it, with the pool table and maybe some game algebraic beer pong. Who knows? It was his birthday, so he did the rules.
And he had a few friends he could invite, of course, renting a whole hall seems…. exaggerated, but truly, he couldn’t get a pool table in his room. He paid for this only for the pool table. Besides, he liked his Norman no mates friends. Friends if you could call them that; they were as friend to him as Oliver Quick once was. Just that this once… he won’t get too attached.
Well, ‘friends’ would actually be mates from the chess club, so they weren’t exactly popular these days. They barely had a girl in the group, so they weren’t great with girls either. Besides, the only other girl that he knew had agoraphobia so… it wasn’t happening. 
His mum made some little biscuits and cupcakes for his day, since she came to have a little celebration just for him and her in a near-by cafe at college. He could skip a few classes to be with his mum on his birthday, after all. 
The night started interestingly. The space was obviously much larger than what he thought it could be, so they hung around the couch and the pool table. He felt the victory as he won two chess matches and a pool game. Maybe it was birthday luck, since everything was coming up as great.
As they talked about which opening was their favourite, Michael heard a little knock. Once he approached the crystal door, he saw Oliver with Felix by his side, with some liquor bottles. 
Michael frowned a bit, as he was pretty sure he rented the room, he did it with a lot of anticipation and made sure no one else did before him. And it was crystal clear that he didn’t invite Oliver. Sure, in their friendship, he once or twice talked about doing something about his birthday, but he never invited Oliver. 
“Hey Mikey” Oliver says, with an shit eating grin, and Michael has to roll his eyes, by how smug and prideful he looked. An absolute jerk, if you asked him. Oliver didn’t even wear his glasses anymore, and was all parties and relevancy thanks to Felix. “Come on”
Before Michael could stop them, Oliver passes by his side, as Felix follows him patting Michael’s shoulder with a smirk (he could swear it was in a patronising way) and people follow from behind as Oliver looks in the room for the music speaker of the rented room.
Michael walked as the crowd quickly dispersed, and he grabbed the few gifts he received, and looked at his distressed mates. 
“Oliver you cannot be here, I rented the room” Michael screams as the room noise is quick to appear, so different from the silence of their small reunion. 
“I saw your pamphlet” Oliver says nonchalantly as he successfully manages to get the aux cable. “Birthday, eh?” He says mockingly
“I rented it! You have to get out” He says almost screaming, as the same way he did once they met, when he asked Oliver to say a sum for him to say.
“If you can get all of us out, mate… sure” Oliver shrugs, clearly not minding.
Michael looks defeated. Even if he stands there, angry, with the few gift bags on his hands, he feels embarrassed. He wanted to do one nice thing for himself, just once. It wasn’t as cheap to rent a hall for his birthday (he couldn’t do it anywhere else, truly, but he thinks that maybe the pub would have been nice even if few of his mates didn’t drink beer)
The room fills very quickly, sitting on the couches and talking as they get vases with something to drink, or beer cans.
“Michael” two of his friends approach him, and he looks at them “We could rescue the biscuits and the cake” They say proudly as they have it in his hands. 
He couldn’t fake to look at least smug, so he nods a bit numbly. “Yeah, sure.” He says a bit disoriented, looking around “The rest left?”
“This was not a party, we assumed…” 
“Not really our thing. Though Tim and Steve stayed to see if they could get any girls” 
Michael hums, and he doesn’t know what to exactly think, since he didn’t expect this. He was organised, he liked things to be as he already planned. It made him secure, and it was only logical. But this interruption made him anxious.
“I gotta save the pool balls” He says to his friends “They are going to fine me if I lose one of them” 
“What… we do with this?” His friend asks about the food.
“Uhm… take the biscuits with you…” Michael says. “And the cake… leave it on the library next to the pool table, and hide it… please” 
As he collects the pool balls, and walks upstairs to return them, he is very downhearted. He remembers the time that he invited his friends from school and only his cousins and his neighbour appeared to his party; very embarrassing and he hated celebrating his birthday with a party ever since. It was mostly his mum and granny, with his dog and cat. Nothing else, nothing too fancy.
He comes back for the cake as he tries to explain the situation to the people that manage the rented halls, there was not much for them to do, and he is suspicious that maybe Oliver or Felix paid them to keep the room. At least they promised not to charge if anything broke, and he was happy with that.
So, money wasted, party ruined and they couldn’t even sing to him happy birthday. 
He walks from between the crowd as he steals a beer. Fuck it, it wasn’t eve stealing since they ruined his party. He takes a break, since he feels really discouraged. He knows his mates are not really social butterflies, but more leaning to being socially anxious. He might need to apologise, and even face the idea that they might be annoyed at him, and maybe they’ll kick him out from the chess team.
He drinks his beer, looking at how Oliver and Felix hyped the whole thing out, people sitting on the pool table… He hopes his cake is intact. He looks at his beer can as he move it a little to stir the liquid (he totally doesn’t want to look miserable AND like an imbecile)
“Hey” A voice calls him as he drinks from his beer. He has to look up to the prettiest girl that has ever approached him, probably. You wear a pink pleated mini skirt, with a short baby pink hoodie that he could see your bright pink bra underneath. God, it was a lot of pink in one person. 
You look at him as he blinks a bit, and you look at him with an alluring smile as if waiting for him to say something, and once he doesn’t, you continue.
“This party is kinda boring” you start saying, with a soft smile and a bright in your eyes as you look at him, doing all your best efforts to flirt with him “Do you wanna leave together?”
Michael blinks a bit as he looks at you, trying to process the words in his head but he fails. “Uh… this is my birthday party” he admits embarrassed and awkwardly, as he looks away to not face the shame, and he adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
“Oh” you say looking at him, your smile fading a bit, a bit worried about your comment. “Oh, I’m sorry” you say, grabbing his forearm. “Didn’t mean to be rude”
“No problem” he says, looking at how your hand rests on his forehead, almost caressing it slowly. 
“I suppose you didn’t invite all these people, did you? It was kind of a last minute call” you say looking at him, actually interested in him. “You seem pretty out of place for that”
“No… It was for me and my mates” 
“Ohh…” You say looking around, and you feel a bit of pity, which he doesn’t want nor needs. “Well, I would have brought a gift.” You say, trying to cheer him up “What is your name?”
Did they send you to make fun of him? Must be.
“Michael Gavey” He says, and he refuses to look at you, not to give you or them the satisfaction.
“Michael” you repeat, and you tell him your name too. “You are cute” you add.
He blushes and looks at you as if you just insulted him, his eyes open and he frowns a bit. He turns his head away in shame.
“Thank you” he murmurs, not sure of what to think. 
“So… your birthday is today.” You say tapping your thighs a bit. “How… randomly, I didn’t know”
“I like my birthday” He murmurs, drinking his beer hesitantly “Tis’ the day of Pi” 
“Day of Pie?” You ask frowning, your arms in your back as you lean in the wall. 
“Of Pi” he repeats “Like the pi from maths”
“Ohh, the circle thing” You say nodding and smiling, as you now understand. “Why is it the day of pi..? Ohh, it is because today it’s fourteen of March”
“Yeah” He says, as he looks at his shoes a bit embarrassed. He usually would think you were stupid, who the fuck confuses Pi with Pie? But you were the only one caring enough. 
“You seem to like maths, like your.. Your shirt” you say pointing it out at his maths pun, and he becomes aware that he has been, in fact, wearing that shirt all the time. 
Fuck, did he really fought with Oliver and with the rental people with a Math pun shirt? No wonder no one took him seriously.
“Ah, yeah…” He says awkwardly. You were very much engaging in the conversation, scooping on his interests little by little. 
“Do you know that I am flirting with you, right?” You say looking at him in the eyes and he looks from his shoes to your face, a bit surprised and panicked.
“Ehm… me? What for?”
“Because you are cute, like I said” you repeat “And it is your birthday”
“You don’t have to pity me because of that…”
“I am not pitying you. It is not why I like you. Come on, do you think I am pretty at least?” You ask as you change your body weight from one foot to the other while looking at him with the most alluring smile he has ever seen. 
God, the question sounds stupid, because you are not only pretty, but you are the hottest girl ever, looking at him as he freezes in place. Your eyes could trap him, as enchanting as they were, and your diminutive clothing was driving him insane. 
“Eh… yes” he murmurs. “Very pretty…”
He seems perplexed about the straightforwardness of this whole thing, and he is very confused. Where has this night taken him?
“I meant what I said. The party… is meh. You and I could leave together, if you want” 
He blinks, as his tongue wets his lips as he suddenly feels frozen in place. His eyes look at your expression as if you were joking, and he is unsure what to think.
“Uh… well, I have to get my cake, really, m-my mates saved it on the back of the library in hopes nobody would find it..:” He starts saying, not really sure why he is telling you this.
“Okay, we’ll search it” you say without any problem about it. “I could sing happy birthday to you and you can blow the candles”
That’s how you are now following him like a puppy, as he takes out the cake from behind some decorations that weren't hiding the cake very well, but it is mostly intact. 
You two walk together, to leave and Michael thinks that never felt so ashamed. He felt like doing the shame walk, as he passed through the people with a fucking birthday cake and a pretty girl following him.
“Let’s go to your dorm!” You tell him with a happy smile, your hand on his shoulder as you lean closer to tell him that as you both walk together.
He is confused how you’ll give him a gift if they weren’t in your room, but he accepts, as his dorm isn’t actually so far away from the rented halls, so he guides you upstairs, and upstairs, at the point where he hears you whine because of your heels.
You look a bit amazed as he enters his dorm, leaving the cake on his desk and moving to turn on the bedside lamp. He looks around, and you are taking off your heels and being just in socks. He blinks as he looks at you. Doing that means she’s comfortable here, he thinks. 
“Ah, eh…. Have a seat in the…” You sit on the edge of his bed, next to his pillows and he blinks. He wanted to say ‘in the desk chair’ but he guessed it was too late.
“Your bed is comfortable” You say smiling as you pat your right side for him to sit by your side. “Come, sit!”
Michael blinks. He dries his sweat palm by rubbing his hands on his thighs a bit awkwardly, as he takes a seat on the edge of his bed by your side. Your legs were tucked under your body, already comfortable, while he is rigid and tense, all awkwardness in comparison.
“And your mates are still at the party?” You ask looking at him, batting your eyelashes at him with a sweet smile as you lean your body weight to your hand, right beside him.
“Uhm… eh, well, they told me they left, so it was a bit rushed… I don’t know, I could call them if you.. Want to sing to me happy birthday and that…” he says a bit hesitant, and he is a bit unsure of his words when you chuckle a bit, if you knew a secret “B-Because we couldn’t… I mean we didn’t have the time for that, and my mum bought that cake because it is my favourite..:” he rambles as his cheeks are pink with embarrassment.
You were divine. In more than one way, you were the prettiest girl that he had ever talked to. And you were also the first girl in his dorm. And this close to him. And the first one to be interested in him. 
“Ah, of course… I bet it is tasty, it is sweet that your mum bought it for your party” You say smiling, as you look at him “Well, I don’t think we should call them here”
“Uh… Why not? We aren’t many, we are just seven, and with you we would be a pair number, so we could play a chess match since we are a pair. If you don’t know I could teach you” He offers. God, why did he accept this? Because you were pretty and all smiles with him, but he didn’t know what women like you liked…
“It’s not that, Mikey” you say softly, looking at him with an alluring smile, leaning slightly closer to him, which is dangerous, because it is the moment he has to decide if to look at your face or your tits. “It is because I wanna give you a gift”
Michael blinks. “Oh.”
“Yeah… It would be awkward if they were here”
His mind is numb, and he looks at you a bit confused “... Because they already gave me a gift?”
You have to suppress a laugh, as you shake your head and look down a bit. He takes the opportunity to look at your tits briefly.
“No…” You say again, with that damn tone that he can’t decipher. “You are not really good at hints, are you?”
He stays silent, looking at you as he tries to get it. “Eh… no, but I am really good at maths…”
You chuckle a bit, as you look at his face with a look he (again) cannot decipher. 
“Of course you are” you say sitting slightly closer, and he stays still as he looks at you and your tits coming closer to him “Your birthday it is in the day of Pi” you made sure to say the last word correctly, emphasising on it, and he nods a bit. 
“Yeah…” he murmurs looking at you as he licks his lips, and his glasses slide ever so slightly on his nose as he has to look down at your face
“I wanna give you a gift…” you repeat, and it is now that he feels your hand slide to his thigh and closer to his crotch. And his breath freezes on his throat as he feels your hand move slowly to rub his dick from above his clothes, and the traitor practically gets hard instantly at something that isn't his own hand. 
Michael practically freezes at your touch, as your hand slowly rubs his jeans where his erection was forming. Your eyes look at him as you smile, god, you were so provocative it made his brain go off. He couldn't take his eyes out of your face as he opened his mouth to pant a bit, a bit unsure of if to stop this or make it keep going.  It is not like he doesn’t want to do… this, but a little part of him still thinks you are just mocking him and probably there were popular jerks waiting outside to make fun of him for falling for someone so out of his league. 
But you were so pretty, lookin at him with tender eyes. As he seems so hesitant about it all. It wasn’t like he didn’t want this, but he just… wasn’t sure what to do, because this was confusing all his thoughts. How could he even impress you? 
It is you who leans to capture his lips. On yours with a kiss, slow and calm, since he was so inexperienced. It was his first kiss, as a girl rubs his cock. He surely was dreaming. 
“Do you want it?”
He blinks confused, his lips briefly open and all flustered as your hands keep on hardening his cock. “Um… yes” He swallows hard as his eyes are closed due to how good (and strange) it feels. To have a girl doing this with him.
“You’ve done this before?” You ask looking at his eyes, and his glasses are sliding on his nose and he doesn’ even notice, and your hand pat his cock which makes him whimper a bit. 
“Eh… yes, but with myself. I mean, b-by myself, like with my hand, that is…”
You giggle at his naiveness, and you add “I meant if you have ever had sex”
Michael looks at you surprised, and he adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose again. You were so direct, and this was unlike anything that had happened in his life. You confused him, with your plays and teases, he was more simple, and more straightforward. “No…” He whispers in reply, breathing a little heavily now as you squeeze him through his pants. 
Your smile is confusing, since he doesn’t know what it means. Well, he doesn’t get the clue to. Most things you do anyways. “It is your birthday” you repeat “My treat, I’ll make you feel so good, Mikey”
He looks down at his pants as you unbuckle his belt. There was something about you, so seductive and sensual as you did all torturously slow. You weren’t rushed, and even did it for his sake, as he looked so frozen by it all. 
You turn your head to look up to him as you also zip down his pants. He tried to think about anything else, because he felt on fire.
“Can you take these off?” You ask him kindly, and he looks. Briefly confused. “I really wanna suck you off”
Oh god. He almost cums on his pants. Oh god.  He repeats on his mind as he moves a bit to take off his pants, at least to his knees. Oh god, oh god. His mind tried to remain sane, he tried to think about some maths, the comfort of simple logic tries to centre himself. 
You look pleasantly surprised by his size, and you hummed in delight and he saw how you bite your lower lip. His cocks spring free, fully hard and the precum leaking out from the tip. He looked nervously at you, as his cock practically begged your attention and affections, and he could feel a turmoil form on his stomach as he pleaded with his eyes for you to do something about it. 
“So big…” you praise him with a smirk, and he looks away in shame as he blushes. It was a good thing, he thinks, but he cannot help but feel hesitant.
You gently grab the base as your left hand rests on his left thigh, helping you as you lean down to capture the tip on your mouth, and he leans slightly back as if trying to squirm away. He looks at you, overwhelmed at the warm and moist sensation around his cock, ever so slightly, but so intense at the same time. He pants as if he just ran a marathon, looking down at you as his balls tighten and feel so ready to cum. But he forces himself not to.
“Oh… A-Ah, fuck…” he says as you take his dick out of your mouth to lick it, from his balls to his tip. God, no one really prepares you to know how easy it is to cum when a girl sucks you off.
He tries to think of equations, some diagrams or anything, anything to not cum so fast. You have his cock again in your mouth, sucking on his tip and your tongue moves to tease him as well. He was going insane.
He looks at you, with your bright eyes full of delight and mischief looking up back at him, as his cock was deeper and deeper on your throat, making its way through your warm mouth. 
And you didn’t seem to mind how the drool was spilling out from your mouth, wettening your chin and how you gagged slightly the more deep you swallowed him. He was amazed, truly, looking down at you as you sucked him off. 
It was different from how he imagined. He thought that at his first time, he would lead the way, he would be confident (because he knew about porn and how these things worked) and he would be dominant enough. Yet now, he feels unsure, trembling as his balls shaked in need to release, because you were amazing and so hot. 
Maybe he didn’t know a thing about this all. He thinks, as his shoulders tense from how good the head of his cock feels in your warm throat. It sends shivers on his spine and he has to whimper pathetically. 
“You are so perfect…, I swear” He mumbles without breath, whimpering pathetically. You would have giggled, because he didn’t need to swear, but he was cute to do so.
You move your hand to take the hair out of his face, and you grab his right hand, and he doesnt get at first what you mean, until you let his hand on your hair, it is when he understands that you want him to guide you and move his hips. 
His own hips hesitate at the beginning , strange at how he is supposed to move without looking ridiculous or being uncomfortable. Instead, he takes your hair carefully, with both hands as he leaves a deep breath out. 
His little whimpers are amazing, and so hot, you love to hear it. It was almost quiet, very low, but it was a delight to hear how he whimpers as his cock twitches in your mouth.
He moves your hair up and down on his body, fucking your face slowly. He didn’t want to be reckless, and when you needed to, he allowed you to have air from time to time. 
His balls were on fire, and his dick was so hard and it felt so good as you deepthroated him that he was at the verge of cumming. 
“I’m… oh, I'm going to cum, m’sorry…” he whimpers, moving your head onto his cock more harshly, but still careful not to make a mess and make you choke on his cock. He would feel bad if he hurt you like that, especially when you do him a favour.
His hips hesitate as he starts cumming, and he releases your head because he guesses it could be overwhelming. But you do not back away, rather swallow all of his spending in your mouth, savouring it delighted as you looked up to him, and he opened his mouth in awe. 
You were his wettest dream come true.
What are the chances, the possibility that a pretty girl like you, just looked at him and decided to do this? To give him the best head ever? To help him lose his virginity, thinking he is worth the chance when you are out of his league? 
He is a man of mathematics and logic. And even being good at probability, he knew the chances were almost zero. Almost.
And you looked so brightly at him as you cleaned some of his cum dripping down from your chin and licking it, not to waste a bit. 
“It… it was good?”
“Yeah” you say without a breath, as you smile. “I love your dick, it is so… amazing” He can almost cum again when he sees you lick your lips.
“Oh.” He says a bit flustered, his mind almost numb from his orgasm. “T-Thank you…” 
It is your smile who makes him smile a bit, awkwardly and with his cheeks red. He cannot believe this is luck. He is dumb struck, looking at your lovely face with still red cheeks and a wide smile. And you just sucked him off.
He is guilty, and he looks down at your tits for a brief moment, but looks quickly at your face, as if ashamed of doing that. But you still have that alluring smile, looking at him. He still doesn’t get what it means, but he goes along with the flow. 
“You wanna see my tits?” You ask with a sweet tone, as if it was the normalest question ever. You have seen his eyes drop to your breasts and then to your face, it was cute.
Oh my god. He will likely cum immediately at the sight. He knows it, and his cheeks are red as he thinks of your question.
“Yeah, please…” He asks without breath, as he accommodates in bed trying for his cock not to give him away. 
“I would have worn something way cuter if I knew this was going to happen” You explain taking out your jacket, and to his no-surprise, you didn’t wear a shirt underneath, just the bright pink bra that poked out of your jacket. 
“You look beautiful” he murmurs looking at your still clothed breasts, and he then looks up to your face. “You… If this is your less fancy outfit, then god damn me” 
You giggle at his words, he surely was odd from all the guys you knew. Perhaps his lack of experience, perhaps his nerdy personality. You don’t know, but you find yourself wanting to do all filthy and kinky things with this nerdy man.
You take off your bra, with quickness, as he looks at you completely mesmerised by your nakedness in front of him. He blinks at your perky nipples completely to his sight, and his mind just goes off. He is pretty sure that if you asked him what 1 plus 1 was, he’d say a pair of fine tits.
“You can touch me, Mikey” you say with a teasing tone, that makes him look at your expression for a brief moment. “Like you can grope my tits and all…”
The boldness of her offer makes him salivate, he is sure, and the desire within him is just intense and he knows he has to. His left hand reaches out cautiously and grasps your right breast. 
Your soft sigh is enough for him to do it slightly more confidently, but still not too harsh. He doesn’t actually know how hard it hurts if someone gropes too aggressively, and so he prefers to be gentle with you, because you deserve all of it. 
“Here. Give me your other hand” You say, and before you can extend your hand to grab his, his right hand goes to your other breasts, as if he was waiting for it.
Your breath hitches before you giggle a bit, as he doesn’t understand you. His face is red, from embarrassment, from touching a girl, a very much real girl that desires him too, and from awkwardness in him.
“I meant, give me your hand” You say taking his right hand from your breast and he doesn’t wanna let go, but he does anyway. “I wanna… Mm. I wanna to show you something”
Again with coded words, he was unaware of its meaning. But he waited for you to tell him, as you looked at him with a smile as you waited for him to say it.
“Oh, uh…” Michael mutters as his brain finally took notice it was his turn to say something. “Eh… okay? Show me…” he says unsure what to say.
You guide his left hand down, under your skirt. He just noticed that you had not taken off your skirt yet, as he was still clothed and with his pants down. But he didn’t mind it so much as you pressed his hand against your clothed pussy. 
“You.. Y-You are really wet” he says slightly amazed, and you nod with a smile as he just leaves his hand there, a bit amazed as his fingers do the slightest move to spread the wetness on his fingers. You hum in delight as you feel how bold he might be becoming. 
“Yeah, I am” you nod to him with a smile, and he looks at you flustered, as he leaves an awkward chuckle. “And your cock is hard again”
He looked down at his dick, and in fact, he was getting hard again. He looked back at you, and he smiled a bit embarrassed. You were also smiling, and that was the only clue he got to know that you were having the time of your life.
“It’s because you are so hot…” he says in a weak attempt to justify himself. “and so pretty”
You laugh, as you kneel slightly to take off your skirt and kick it somewhere in his bedroom. You were only wearing your panties now, and he felt like a salivating dog wagging his tail at the sight. God he was pathetic.
He looked at you, and before he could try to do anything, you say.
“It will be better if you sit properly in the bed, not the edge. So you can lean back in the pillows”
He has no idea why he should lean back in the pillows, but again, he is not the one doing demands in this. In his eyes, you are doing him a favour, this was his wettest dream, and you surely got nothing from it.
He takes off his pants and he crawls to sit in the bed, his back against the pillows (he used at least three, he found it more comfortable) and so he watched at you with a smile, as you kneel up again, now to take off your panties.
“I swear that if i knew, I would have worn a prettier pair of underwear” you start teasingly, as you move your hands to the sides of your panties to take them off.
Oh god, he thinks once again, as the image of a naked woman is enough to send him into numbness again. He was just gaining confidence to take some part in this, but he was just so inexperienced, he had to decide on either cum desperately or trying to last longer, and he didn’t know that the last took all of his brain energy.
“Here” You say, grabbing his hand and leaving your panties in his hand. He looks at you, and you add “Another gift. You can keep it” 
He looks at you, slightly amazed by it. He holds your panties in his hand, and he can feel the wetness of it, knowing that you were (and are) so wet right now drives him insane. He looks at you and he blinks a bit surprised, and honestly, much more aroused. 
“Thank you..” he says as he appreciates this odd gift. He has no idea what use it may have apart from the sentimental one, but maybe it is like his own trophy? 
You get comfortable, still kneeling on the bed, you crawl to be atop of his lap. Each knee on the side of his thighs, and he has to look up to see you. Maybe his favourite part about this is how your tits are in front of his face. He loves it.
“Your hand” She asks, and when she extends her hand he is clever enough not to make the same mistake twice. He passes her his hand, and she guides it to her pussy once again.
Now he knows. Why men went to war for women. Why Troy was destroyed, for stealing one woman. Why men went insane for the touch of a woman. He gets it now. 
Your pussy drips wet as he touches it; bare and warm. He is surprised, in all honesty, as his fingers are rigidly moving forward and back. It is not rough; but it is rigid enough to let know his inexperience in the matter.
“I wanna make you feel good” He says looking at you, almost begging for you to teach him how. He wants to know the secrets that could have you squirm and moan crazily over him, as he was over you. 
“This is about you” You say, your hands moving to the edge of his shirt, to take it off from him. He helps you in it, and he leaves a breath as now both of you were naked in front of each other.
Your soft hand caresses his chest. He is no muscular guy; yet you caress him so tenderly that he has to look at you with that puppy look. He really wants to make you feel good.
“Tell me what to do.” He asks again, he looks pathetically needy to you; eager to make you cum on his fingers, and eager to learn how to please you.  His fingers linger hesitantly around your pussy, and he does his best guiding himself from little experience and instinct. 
You smirk as you bite your lower lip as you let a little whimper out. He was cute and hot, more than most guys you knew from before. Maybe getting with the nerd was a fantastic idea.
“I want you to fuck me” You say instead, smiling at him “I want your cock, not your fingers- for now. Besides, this is about you. You are the birthday boy”
As your hips lower on his lap, he takes off his fingers and looks at you sitting above his cock. You grind slightly as he opens his mouth agape slightly, the mere thought of fucking you has him all excited, and aroused.
“I do wanna.. Do that” Michael says with a longing smile, as you nod to him. The feeling of your pussy rubbing against his own dick. He can’t take it anymore, he longs for you too much. 
He is clumsy as he moves his hips, the head of his cock passing eagerly through your folds in search of your entrance, and he looks up at you as you moan at the feeling. He got something right. 
His puppy eyes catch your attention as his tip presses on your centre, and you look down at him a bit breathlessly. “You can’t cum so fast, Mikey. I want you to enjoy it” He nods when you tell him that, and he leaves a shaky breath at the feeling. 
“I… I’ll try…” He says looking at you, trying his best to hold back. But your body is too tempting for him. He is going to pass out, surely.
You move to search for something in your clothes, and you take a condom from somewhere. He isn’t too sure. He is looking at the ceiling waiting for you as he thinks on some hard equation from class, and he tries for the burning turmoil on his belly, full of lust and desire to calm down even a bit. He wants to have you moaning on his cock so hard, he will need strength.
Your movement is fluid when you put the condom on his length, and he is sure you have done this so many times. On other occasions, he’ll think something witty about it, but now he is rather intimidated. How is he supposed to compete with your experiences?
You move your hips slightly, as you start to sit down on his cock from one move. Slow and soft, he is sure you make sure it isn’t so intense for him, as your walls have a tight grip on his hard cock, and the feeling of finally being inside of a woman is incredibly intimate. His cock pulsates on your insides, and he has to look down, enjoying the sight of his thick cock stretching your pussy.
“Fuck…” You say breathlessly as you throw your head back, moaning in delight as you move your hips slightly.
“You’re so warm… and thigh..” he pants, his hands go to your hips as you ride him. 
“It feels nice?”
“More than that” He says looking up to you, and he whimpers as you move your hips. 
“I’ll let you get used to it.” You tell him softly “I think it could be a bit overwhelming, I guess”
“Yeah. A bit” he says with an awkward smile which makes you smile too, and you grab his cheeks as you lean a bit to kiss him softly. 
His enthusiasm is endearing, as he tries to passionately kiss you, but you are sticking with the slowness of it all. He whimpers a bit on your mouth as he can feel how your cunt tightens around him. 
Once you are apart, his glasses are again slowly sliding down on the bridge of his nose and you bite your lower lip as you hold a moan. God, what a hot nerd you are fucking.
“You are so amazing” He murmurs, looking up to you “And you feel so good…”
“Uh huh…” You hum as you whimper a bit, and so does he. 
“And I have… I have never done this before…” He mutters looking at where your pussy swallows his dick.
“I know” You say, giving him a peck. “But you make me so aroused, so hot…”
Michael blinks a bit confused, but he gains slight confidence in this. He nods at you and he lets his hands fall by the side of your legs, and he can only focus on the way that you ride him. You squeeze him, in all the way he can think of. Your cunt is squeezing his shaft. Your knees are squeezing his legs. All of your existence squeezes him, and he loves the feeling. 
He looks up at your face, you are moaning openly and you have your eyes closed as your hands rest on his biceps, helping you bounce on his cock. You look amazing. 
And your tits, God, your tits. Bouncing on his face as you ride him, all perky and perfect for him, and the sight of your tits make him leak more precum in the condom, as he tilts his hips slightly up so he gets deeper in the warmth of your cunt.
He stays looking at you, while his balls are tightening at how wet your pussy is. He is mesmerised by you, he cannot even find himself letting any sound out of his mouth. He is almost numb, looking at you as he makes you moan like this. 
He is making you moan desperately as you ride him. He is the one responsible to see how aroused he truly has you. You lean your body closer to his chest, moaning as you ride him, and he bites his lip desperate to cum. 
His own hips rut back to yours, thrusting clumsily as you sink down on his cock. Your pussy clenches around his cock, and he’s fully engrossed in the sensation.
Michael wants to cum so bad. He doesn’t think he has ever been in such a need to cum.It’s all his foggy mind can think of, cumming and you. And cumming in you, those two subjects interrelationate. 
“Tell me” He pleads, which makes you look at him again “Please, tell me how to make you cum”
His puppy eyes, how his glasses are slightly off on him, makes you moan almost on his face. 
“Your hand” You say, and he got the clue now. He is a quick learner, and instead of letting you hold his hand, he moves it down to your pussy. 
You moan at the feeling of his hesitant hand there, and he laughs a bit breathlessly, growing slightly bolder and he loves how desperate you seem. “Teach me”
“Fine, fine, wait..” You say stopping your movements, as reluctant you both may be to that.
You lean slightly back, your hand goes to grab his knee to help you not fall. He can see more of your pussy like that, and you sigh as if trying to think clearly.
“Here” You say, grabbing his wrist and moving it slightly up. He has no idea what you mean, but he is learning, so he follows your lead. “This is my clit, so you rub it… Not harshly, not too aggressive. It can be intense, but… you have to do it gently. Firm, but gently” 
He has no idea how to do both, but he’ll try. Before he can start, you grab his wrist again, and he is confused. What else is there that you take so long to say?!
You take his hand up, and your mouth is quick to engulf his index and middle finger inside, wettening them  with your own saliva before letting them go; not without leaving a provocative lick beforehand. 
“Now” You say with a slight smile “Just gently.” You repeat, and he nods.
He is so going to cum just from seeing you lick his fingers so lustfully. 
Michael tries his best, he does. His fingers find the little thing, so small, and he is unsure what response something so tiny could do. But anyways, he does as told. His fingers hesitate before rubbing slightly there, left to right at the beginning, and then up and down.
“F-Fuck!” You say almost closing your legs around his hand and dick, but you force yourself to remain open. Your other hand goes to hold you onto the mattress of the bed, so you don’t fall. You are leaning backwards now, and he can see your body in all it’s glory. 
It does have an amazing effect, he realises, as he rubs circles on your clit and you moan even higher, your legs tremble as you force them open, and you start lowering on his cock again. Unlike the last time, you don’t take the time to make sure his cock enters and comes out fully, but you just grind against it, and when you move up and down, it is barely just in the base of his cock. But the tip? It never leaves your wetness.
He wishes he could see the bump of his cock on your belly. He looks at your abdomen, and he can practically imagine how the shape of his cock would poke out from your abdomen.  
“I want to cum” He says, panting as his brain is overwhelmed. He is overdoing things, he tries to rationalise this, but between rubbing your clit, your cunt wrapping around his cock and his moans leaving his mouth, he feels like he will pass out any moment now.
“M-Me too” You whine, desperate as your hips rut more desperate on his cock, and that turns him even more. 
He has made a girl desperate for him. And he’ll make a girl cum on his cock.
Michael makes sure to rub your clit in a delicious manner. Or what he guesses is a delicious manner. And since you almost sob your moans, he’d say he is doing a fucking amazing job. 
“FUCK” He says as he feels your cunt squeeze him so much, that his mind practically goes blank “I-I’m cumming” He barely gets the words out as he feels himself spent on the condom inside.
He moans, loudly, it could be embarrassing if it wasn’t so pleasurable, and he has to throw his head back from the pleasure on how his shoulders tense up.
You grab his wrist, and he gets the clue that he has to keep his touch on your clit. Your cheeks are red from stimulation, and as he pants and whimpers from his orgasm, as he rubs your clit. It doesn’t take long, as you practically cum all over his cock, milking his dick and making sure his balls go empty. 
Even if he orgasmed first, your peak leaves him dry, and spent in more than one way. He doesn’t think he will ever hear a girl moan so loud and pleased as you when you cum thanks to him. 
When you fall to his side, he takes off the condom, leaving it on his bedside table. He looks at you, panting hard on his side, and he feels the same, as he looks at you, still mesmerised by you. 
He searches for your hand, awkwardly, and he moves you slightly closer to him. 
You both remain breathlessly, pants as you two face the ceiling. 
“So” You start saying, and he turns his head to yours, and you have another of your mischievous, alluring smiles on your face. “Have you blown the candles?”
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reggies-eyeliner · 29 days ago
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it really is a blessing yk? ah no worries! LETS DO IT! 3 2 HAPPY NEW YEAR!! (hugs) Ah it really depends yk on how everything works out. life is mysterious. MAAM PLEASE GIVE ME SOMETHING TO TEXT YOU ON haha. you're right you're right that's the right mindset THAT UNFORTUNATELY DOES NOT GET ME READS AHHHHH. I'm glad it was good ! omg what was your favorite thing you ate? do you have dishes that you only eat on special days?
oh no! seasonal depression is no fun. i saw the post you reblogged about friends leaving and I was like :( oh no! ellie is going through it. but hey, yes the grieving has to happen but there are people who are still here and guess what? you haven't met everyone who will love you! (I get that feeling whenever I read old messages between friends that we just drifted apart from each other and i smile sadly and wish them well... obvi puts me in a sad mood for the rest of the day but such is life, I've realized. and maybe there was a reason it needed to happen? like yeah we probably vibed the entire time but maybe they were just a that season friend or that place friend that was needed to help you out yk? that's how I've been trying to see it because God knows the number of friends I've lost that i vibed with but just ghosted me or who were so dry that i had to keep asking qs to hold the convo and it was so draining) MAAM THAT GOES TO YOU TOO!! IF YOU NEED TO TALK, IM HERE!
that's good that you love your classes tho! it would be so hard if you didn't (especially with the workload you mentioned). and OMG SATs?? AHHHHH THE STRESS! but hey by this time next year, no more worries about those exams. do you have ideas of where you want to apply and stuff? What's your favorite class you're taking? are you still doing theatre?
ugh dont even get me started. like dont get me wrong- I'm so blessed to get an education but the stuff that has happened to me has made me question if this education and loss of sanity is worth it. i swear its just... how do I put this? professors literally publically humiliate me by saying the absolute worst things to me about me in front of everyone and omg! i always thought it would be fellow classmates who would backstab you (like be nice to you but talk ill behind your back) BUT GUESS WHAT ELLIE? HAHA ITS NOT JUST THE STUDENTS!!! Its also the lovely PROFESSORS!!! I LOVE THAT THANK YOU!! haha but dw about me! i guess this is prepping me for corporate life? haha. but I'm currently being strategic because they're in positions of power and they decide if I graduate or not. but after this, I will choose my peace and sanity.
3 2 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR ‼️‼️omg do you have any resolutions this year or is it just get through the year because sometimes that's what we gotta do BWJHSA AND AHHH ILL AEND YOU MY DISCORD WHEN I HAVE THE TIME does that work?? AND AHH. OKAY BUT DON'T PRESSURE YOURSELF TO WRITE ON AO3 YOU CAN just write something for fun and post it if you feel like it ykyk AND I FORGOT WHAT I ATE NGL but I had really nice dumplings those are my fave 😭 AND WE HAD LIKE TTEOK GUK idk what it is in English but it is very banger 10/10
AND IT IS OKAY my seasonal depression isn't too bad DWDW TEEHEE AHH AND AHSHDHUE THANK YOUUU FOR YOUR WORDS ABOUT SCHOOL I RLY APPRECIATE IT😭💓 and omg the PROFESSORS. WHAT. I HATE THEM IF YOU DO TOO BECAUSE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?? THEY'RE TEACHERS TEACHING STUDENTS IDK WHY THEY'RE MEAN TO STUDENTS IF STUDENTS ARE THE REASON WHY THEY DO THEIR JOBS?? AND IM NOT sure about what schools I want to apply for yet but my favorite class I'm currently taking is AP Bio!! the work load is crazy but I love learning about it RAHHH and girl sry I can't get over it but the professors man :((( I hope they will figure out that treating people kindly is an expectation and the bare minimum!!!!!! YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS AND YOU WILL YOU GOT THIS U INDEPENDENT AMAZING WRITER WOMAN ILY CERY MUCH!!
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caluski · 1 month ago
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hi maurycy! we're just mutuals in law and for some reason tumblr insists on showing me your posts in my "for you" tab sometimes (it's been like this for ages), so i thought i should finally write to you and say hi. even tho i'm too shy to give you a follow i've grown to love seeing the little updates from you every now and then. i also can't help but smile every time i see an interaction between you and people i follow – everyone always seems so excited to hear from you! your mutuals have so much love for you. i know it for a fact, i've talked to some of them and they always have only the best things to say about you. from your posts you seem like a really caring person and i can imagine hanging out with you would be pretty fun with the way you approach the world with excitement and wonder. i know you said posting on here is like talking to a wall but it's not true. people see you. idk why it's hard to get interactions on tumblr these days, maybe it's just easier to say nice things about someone to other people than to the person in question. even i feel weird writing this rn bcs i have no idea how this ask will even come across, but it's something i've wanted to say to you for some time so why not now, it's the beginning of a new year, which somehow makes it feel more appropriate to try and do things we wouldn't have done before. so happy new year! may it be full of love and sunshine and tasty beverages and creative endeavours. i really wish you all the best and hope things will turn around for you soon ^^
thats very kind of you to say, i think people are just used to seeing me here, because in the past i would post other stuff than just wanting to die. its an unfortunate thing that i ended up unpleasant like this. i wish things were different. im sorry this isnt much of a satisfying response. have a good year, too
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hopepaigeturner · 1 year ago
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20 Questions for Fic Writers!
Tagged by the lovely @angel-starbeam
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Only 24, but if you look in my WIP folder tho...
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
302,639. Erm--since when?
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mainly Bridgerton on AO3.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Six Days (Kanthony),
The Light in These Shadows (oh my Benophie baby),
A Pinch of Salt (Benophie)
Sunflower Girl (Polin)
Why man looks at horizon (Polin)
But I'd always love more 😉
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
It;s my aim to, honestly because I love chatting with people who ahev resonated with my work, and I am so thankful for those comments make me smile. Currently I've been a bit behind, same with writing, for I've got so many plates balancing at once.😅 
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hmm...I'm more of a happy ending kinda girl...but boy is there some angst in my potential The Road to Ruin & BeautyWIP (Benophie)
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
As above, I love happy endings. It is my belief that fundamentally we enjoy hope and happy endings. As for the fic...I would have to say A Pinch of Salt.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I dont think I'm really that big a writer to get hate--which I am thankful for.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I have, but in the future I'm not. 1) because I can't stand to read it back. 2) Reading/writing smut actually messes with my brain chemistry--it basically numbs my emotions.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Does the Umbrella academy AU Two Steps From Reality count?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Never--again I'm only a little writer.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I'm always open if you guys want to translate one for me
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I think it would be great fun to do so. But I have done a lot of brain storming with @bridgertonbabe about Bridgerton Umbrella Academy AU..
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
aH. oH. Wait--I...you can't ask me that!
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I want to finsih The Light in These Shadows, and I will, I promise. It might not be by the December deadline I had in my head which is a shame. But it will be finished!
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think I have a good writing style? There are a couple sentences that I've had a double take on because...you know, they're not too shabby. Especially in The Light in These Shadows.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
To be honest, I feel I need to get better at endings, there are sometimes where I feel I overdescribe actions. Oh and I sort of have a writing style that 'misses' out words?
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I try to do it (not via google translate) but please let me know if I ever need to correct things!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Hmm, personally I think it was Chronicles of Narnia as a little one. On AO3, Bridgerton.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Uh, uh...uhmm...
*looks at her brain babies with identical puppy dog eyes*
I'll let you guys decide 😉
*~*~*~*~*~*
Thank you for tagging me @angel-starbeam
I now proceed to tag...
@silverhallow, @bridgertonbabe, @polarmarie, @sophiebernadotte, & @austencello
Enjoy!
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tempobrucera · 2 years ago
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Let the devil be my witness
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Pairing: Thomas x Fem!Reader x Ethan
Summary: "The little star is unhappy, it wants to be a star that others wish upon, bring them luck but shooting stars are meteors burning, just surviving for us to see before they burn up and hit the ground" or Five years of everything going wrong.
Word Count: 10.5k
Other: Warnings and everything at the end this time. There's hints to All my friends told me you would break my heart, which you should read, just because I love it :) (It works without but better with).
Reblogs are free, I would appreciate people using them. Thanks <3
Add yourself to my taglist.  / Masterlist
.#####.
NOW
"I want to throw a party," Thomas tells him. Curled up under his blanket, looking at him with big eyes, a small happy smile on his face. "It'll be fun. I can close the bar for a day and everyone can just have fun, they deserve it."
Ethan just hums. He didn't see Thomas for months until he gave him a call and then Thomas just appeared in front of his door today, hugging him close and now Thomas is laying in his bed after hours of talking.
"You would come as well, right?" There's a glimmer of hope in Thomas' eyes.
"Sure," he smiles at him, "Can't have you party alone."
For a long time nothing is said, until Ethan thinks that Thomas already fell asleep. He reaches for the second blanket that is at the foot of the bed, turns the already dimmed light off. Only then, in the darkness, Thomas stirs again.
"Thank you," Thomas mumbles against his neck, "for not hating me."
Ethan stiffs before he relaxes again: "Of course not."
"Do you think we will work as a band now?" Thomas buries his face against his neck.
"It'll be okay."
"Did Vic or you tell him to apologise?" Thomas asks, slightly shaking in his arms.
"No, Dam just asked us for your new number. He wanted to apologise himself."
Again there's only silence and darkness surrounding them. But there's still one question Ethan wants answered, there's an idea forming in his head.
"Tho?"
"Eth?"
"Do you still write her?"
There's rustling next to him. He blinks and the next time he opens his eyes, he holds Thomas' phone in his hands. Thomas' Instagram DM's with you are opened. Messages you never answered but there's the little heart emoji under the text that shows that someone liked the message.
I think, I never said it but I'm sorry.
Ethan scrolls further up, sees text blur together, sees the hearts on Thomas' texts but how he never got an answer, except once. He scrolls down, and blinks at the screen confused, then it's gone again. Thinking that he imagined it, he wants to give the phone back to Thomas but just before he does, it starts again.
Typing …
Nothing happens, no text appears, but the plan is shaping up in Ethan's head - the last five years have been enough.
.#####.
"I know this is really weird," Ethan says, "Look, do you still talk to …"
He's getting cut off: "Yes, we still talk. It's okay, we just fucked, you made that really clear. What do you want?"
"Could you do me a favour and get her to a party?"
"Are you going to tell me why?"
"I can't go on seeing Thomas like this," he says, "They have to talk."
"You can't lie to me, I know which arrangement you had." There's a sigh on the other side of the phone. "You want it back as well."
"I'm already happy when he's not breaking down again. He still loves her, that's more important and more than enough for me."
"It has been years."
"Please! Before they are running away from each other again."
"I'm sorry, she just broke up with someone, I don't know if it's a good idea to just confront her with Thomas of all people right now."
"Just this one favour, I don't know who to ask otherwise."
"What do I get for being a part of this stupid plan?"
"Seeing a happy end?" A small laugh, but he counts it as a victory. "I would give you my soul if I have to, I just want to see him happy after all this."
.#####.
Five Years ago - The Breakup
Hindsight is always easier than foresight. You know now, Thomas knows now and Ethan knows now as well. Now is just too late. It wasn't what was said that ended your relationship - it was what went unsaid. At least that is what you tell yourself, but it's too late.
Just lock the door when you leave.
Just chuck the keys into my letterbox.
You cry downstairs when you are in front of his mailbox, his keys in hand. He isn't going after you to say that he's sorry. There's nothing - just silence.
Did you just break up with me?
You should have known, should have known better. Should have known before they even came back home from tour, but you were stupid enough to tell yourself that it will all turn out to be okay in the end. It didn't, you can see that now. You should have known when he went to parties more often than picking up the phone for calls you agreed on before. Forgetting calls all together and him being more distant than not.
Just when you're about to throw the keys into the letterbox, there's a hand on your shoulder and then Ethan pulls you into a hug. For a few seconds you had hope. You were clinging to the last bit of hope on this gloomy November day, all to have it shattered.
"I'm sorry," he says and hugs you closer.
You can't do anything than cry into his shirt, onto his shoulder. Your phone vibrates in your hand, has the keys making a jiggling noise.
"He doesn't mean it, don't believe him," Ethan says, "he missed you. Thomas missed you so much, he thought it would make it worse and that it would make it worse for you or him."
You don't answer, you just stare down on your phone.
Yes
The keys you drop into Ethan's hand are almost falling to the floor. And then you leave them behind.
.#####.
FIVE YEARS AGO
"Los Angeles?" Vic looks at him surprised, "Are you sure, Thomas?"
He just nods, nervously picks at his nail polish.
"Why?"
"Vivi wants to go," Thomas isn't looking at her, "might be easier for her to start a career there than here. You know how hard everything here is."
"I'm sorry, what?" The expression on Victoria's face changes from surprised to something like outraged. "You know her for what? Two months of fucking? If she has any talent, she'll also make it here, you of all people should know that."
Thomas just shrugs, avoids her gaze, and Vic sighs.
"Are you that heartbroken?"
He shrugs again, doesn't want to face the truth.
"I told you, that she would break your heart."
"I …," Thomas looks at his hands - thinks of the day the break up happened, "I was the one who broke up with her."
"Maso!" The anger gives way to a sadder look on Vic's face. "You are so in love, and you are still, don't lie to me. I don't understand, why?"
"I thought it would hurt less when I do it."
.#####.
You try to ignore it, you try to ignore the rumours and the gossip that reaches your ears - the whispers around the city. It works, but only until someone you almost forgot you know, sends you an article that you open without thinking even one second about it. You should have, you shouldn't have looked at this. Shouldn't have seen what you so desperately tried to avoid the last couple of months.
There's no need to read the article, you just see the photo. Thomas in an intimate embrace with a woman. He has his tongue down her throat, or the other way round, you're not sure. Deep down, you don't even want to know. Then you switch off your phone. You don't want to think about it, but it doesn't work.
Even in the evening when you're home and switch your phone on again, you're still thinking about it. Not getting the image out of your head, the bottle of white wine doesn't help, it just has you thinking about Thomas again, and about Ethan. The one night, you all got drunk on wine and high on weed, crossfaded - a happy pile on Thomas' couch, some obscure horror film playing in the background. Ethan kissing your neck, and Thomas giggling under you, how he tried to kiss you on the lips but his lips landed right under your eye. How he poked his tongue out, slowly licked and Ethan laughed against your shoulder. But on your phone, you can see more photos. Thomas holding hands, Ethan somewhere in the distance, the girl looking straight into the camera and you want to throw your phone against the wall.
For one second, you in your head you play with the thought to call him. Just to hear his voice, to be soft, but you don't. You call one of the friends you made in Rome, a friend you made because of him, after he took you out for dinner the first time. Thomas' friend, Franca - the waitress that evening, with who you hit it off. She showed you around bars when he wasn't there, talked with you - teached you more Italian, became a friend. Exactly like Thomas wanted to, I knew you would like each other.
"Hi," you feel bad, "I'm so sorry to call. I know he's your friend, probably more than mine but, I, I just don't know what-"
"Sweetheart," her voice is soft, "so you saw it? I'm so sorry. It's okay, he's an idiot, he was told. You're my friend as well."
"Thanks," you sniff slightly, "This hurts. He couldn't wait at least more than a month or two before almost climbing someone in public?"
"I know this isn't any condolence, but Ethan and Vic both told him, this isn't going to turn out any good and everything else …," she stops.
Sweet Ethan, you think.
"What do you mean? Everything else?"
"Are you sure, you want to know this?" She asks. You know, you shouldn't say yes to this question, it was enough for today, but you still do. "I'll sent you a screenshot, and you know what we should do? Go out, there's plenty of fish in the sea. We'll get you something better."
Problem is, you don't want anything better. You want Thomas. You want Ethan as well - but it doesn't hurt as much.
The screenshot almost makes you cry, it's a photo of Thomas and the woman you saw too many times today already. She's pressing her lips to one of his cheeks, just next to a freckle you loved to kiss, her arms around him. Worse is only the caption: Can't wait to start a new and better life with my sweetheart, the absolute love of my life, in Los Angeles next month.
"Los Angeles?" You should be happy that you'll have Rome to yourself again, that you don't have to be careful where to step, to not run into any of them. You feel nothing. "This day was enough, I think."
"You don't know the best part yet. She actually tagged him in this post but not only him, she somehow managed to tag the band account as well." A tiny bit you even have to laugh. "Ethan apparently lost it, saying he doesn't want to be associated with this. And Vic commented under it Are you tagging us to remind us that we'll have band practice over video call now, or why are we seeing this. And now, I promised you to party."
"Actually …," you thought about it before but now is the time to really do it, "I would rather look for a new job than for a stopgap just to fuck."
.#####.
There's some kind of magical string pulling you to the bar that day. The bar you met in, where Thomas first act upon seeing you was to empty his Tequila Sunrise over your dress by accident. Just when you want to step into the bar, you can see a blond man with messy hair turn around quickly and walk away - you shake your head at yourself, you're seeing ghosts.
You just want to get a drink, watch people for a bit, and go home but when you come back from the bar, Vic is sitting at the table where you usually sit.
"I know, I know, yes I got it," she says into her phone, "I just thought, you wouldn't cancel on me after you should have been already here. I get that you still have to pack stuff but …"
She hangs up with a sigh, then she looks at you: "I can't believe he just bailed on me like that."
"Welcome to the club," you want to be sarcastic but the bite is missing from your voice.
Victoria chuckles, but quickly stops when she sees your face: "I can't believe, he's really going to move to Los Angeles of all places. Half my life he was always just a few streets away."
You can feel your lips start to quiver, your hand slightly shaking. Vic takes your drink out of your hand and then she pulls you down into a hug.
"God, I'm so sorry," she whispers while you cry into her soft cardigan, "This must be hard for you as well."
"Please don't tell him."
.#####.
When you're home hours later, you stare at the Instagram DM Thomas sent you a while ago:
I just wanted to tell you that I'm moving to LA. I wanted you to know from me, not from somewhere else.
You didn't answer - there was nothing left to say. You already knew.
It should have been the quickest way to get you back home but now you're already standing in the streets for the last ten minutes. Autumn is just around the corner, it's early September, and you are standing in front of Thomas' flat. Thomas' old flat - he moved end of June, you try to tell you that it's better like this. That he's gone, but it doesn't work, you tell yourself the same when you see pictures in glossy magazines or when you accidentally see Thomas' Instagram's posts. It always hurts whatever you tell yourself.
You try not to let your thoughts wander back in time, you try not to think about them. But before you can tell yourself not to do it, you think about how many times you went up the stairs to Thomas' flat. How you went up the stairs the first time after the night at Ethan's place.
They just came back from some little promo tour they had for a little over a week and Ethan asked if you would come over to Thomas' place later. You couldn't say no, you where just wondering why Thomas didn't text anything all evening and isn't the one who's opening the door for you.
"Where's Thom?"
"In the living room." Ethan grins at you, glass of wine in hand. You can only hear the intro music of a film playing from the living room. "He'll be happy to see you."
Contrary to what you expected Thomas isn't sitting on the couch, he's laying on his back, on the wooden floor boards - almost naked. You kneel down next to him, to press a kiss to his cheek. Affectionately you let your fingers glide through his hair. He wants to say something but he can only whine and mumble against the soft scarf that is between his lips, used to gag him. You let your hands wander over his body, his waist, his hips, play with the hairs of his happy trail until he whines again and tries to buck his hips up.
Ethan kneels down next to him on his other site and carefully gets the scarf out of his mouth. He wipes the spit away from Thomas' chin with his thumb.
"We will watch a film now." Ethan says, "If you promise me to make no noise, you can come up to the couch and we can leave this off."
Thomas sits between you two, while you are still dressed. Everytime Thomas does want to say something or a whine almost lefts his mouth, he carefully bites into Ethan's shoulder or into your arm. When there's a heated scene of two people fucking against a wall, Thomas loses the battle with himself and lets a loud whine slip past his lips. It doesn't help that you let your hand slip into his slightly tented briefs and let your fingers swirl around his tip. He whines even louder.
"You have to go back down." Ethan says, slapping your hand lightly, so you take it off Thomas' and then he pauses the film. "Just lay down, stick your tongue out."
Thomas does lay down, while Ethan takes off your trousers and your panties: "You can have him, but not his dick, otherwise you can play with him, 'kay?"
You kind of have an idea what he wants to see, and you don't want to disappoint, you know Thomas doesn't want to either. You wipe some of the drool away from Thomas' face. He looks up to you, a little bit unsure - you still remember how he said he isn't good at this.
"You'll do great," you reassure him before you put both your feet next to his head, grab a handful of his hair and lower your body down. "I know it, just keep your tongue out, babe."
He is doing more than keeping his tongue out, he's trying to go with your movements. Carefully licking through your folds, then faster - a little bit harsher, before he switches back to carefully. You move his head, his tongue gliding in and out. Whoever made him believe that he's not good at this, deserves to be haunted for their rest of their life, you think. When you pull him off, he presses his tongue flat against your clit, slightly circles it. It feels so good, you almost cum and you would but Ethan pulls you off. Thomas heavily panting under you.
It doesn't take long to free Thomas of his briefs, or to get him to fuck you. You're bouncing up and down playfully on his dick, you can feel how he restrains himself to not just buck up into you.
"You did such a good job," you can hear Ethan tell him, "You don't have to hold back."
And he doesn't. The next second your back hits the floor and he's over you. There's no restraints anymore, just Thomas going deeper, moaning into your mouth. The only word you can think off is wild, and you definitely see the stars when you cum.
A loud noise gets you out of your memories, people being noisy, carrying boxes. Just when your phone is ringing and you pick it up almost in trance.
We would like to offer you the job.
The For Rent sign is taken down. Someone new is moving in. He isn't coming back, you realise. It's not feeling like a weird and unpleasant dream anymore, it feels like reality crashing down over you. And you are offered the job you always dreamed of. In Sydney, a city you never asked for. You look up to Thomas' window, the window you have seen him smoke out so often and know that you'll not see him again like this, and you say yes.
.#####.
Thomas is sitting on the roof of his rented house. Cigarette between his lips, guitar next to him, he's watching the sunset in the distance. He can't tell if he's happy, the only thing he knows for sure is that he's drunk. Incredibely drunk. He went up to the roof after Vivi asked him another time this week, if he could show her photos to some people, as she did the months before. Thomas tried, he did try for her, showed them to some people he thought might have pity - either with him or with her - or would like them, but everyone told him the same. No. It escalated into a fight and then into a fight about something else, not the first time since they moved, or even this month and not only because of this alone.
He's tired. Tired of running after people for other people. Tired of the fighting. Tired of band practice over webcam. Tired of Vic and Damiano looking at him pityfully. And he's so tired of Ethan looking at him as if he had told him that stars aren't real and the big celestial bodies are only an illusion he made up in his head years ago. He's so tired of it.
Don't fucking cry. He tells himself.
He is tired of being tired. Thomas takes another sip of his drink that is too bitter. He loves sitting on the roof with the last sunrays of the day but he misses his balcony in Rome and his small kitchen full of people, cooking that goes wrong and food that can't be eaten but he still had fun. Now there are still people in his kitchen but every day blends into the other, people talk to him as if he's an animal in a zoo and he's getting scolded for burning something more often than feeling lips on his forehead, in his hair or on his cheeks - and collective laughter.
Do you think stars have a life?
There's no thought in his head when he writes it, no one stopping him sending it. Nothing happens, until a little heart appears under his text. Causing his own heart to jump in his chest. He waits but there's nothing else, no answer.
I hope Sydney makes you happy x
No answer.
I'm not. Happy, I mean. He writes it, but before sending it, he deletes it and dials Ethan's number instead.
"It's early," Ethan says. There's a voice next to him and Thomas can hear how he gets out of bed.
"It's late," Thomas says, "Do you think stars have a life?"
"Do you want to hear the scientific answer?" Ethan asks and sighs. "Or are you asking for a story?"
"A fairytale?" He picks up his guitar, it almost wheeps when he plays. He still isn't ready to cry but his guitar wants to. "Please?"
"Hundreds of light years away, in a bright galaxy full of other stars, there was once a little star …"
He only gets down the roof late in the night. Vivi is standing in the corridor, looking tired and she snaps at him.
"Did you have fun?" she asks, "While I had to tell your friends that you aren't in a good mood and everyone looked at me like I'm the most pathetic person in the room?"
"Vivi."
"No. Don't look at me like that, like you're all sad and your life is horrible with me but like you're sorry," she says, "You cannot always leave an argument like this Thomas."
His voice is smaller than he wants it to be: "I didn't invite those people, you did. You can't just invite people to my house. They aren't my friends, how many times do I have to repeat? You started an argument in front of them because you started with your," he makes air quotes, "Can you believe he still didn't ask me to marry him again."
"Yes, because we had this conversation so many times. I told you I want to get married, get a hint."
"You want me to marry you? Fine." He is tired, he's still so fucking tired. "I'll buy you a ring. Go dress shopping or whatever people do that get married."
"You finally came around?" She smiles and puts an arm around his hips, "We will make such a great couple, I already know the perfect dress, you will love me in it."
"I'm crashing in a hotel." He takes his guitar and his car keys. And then he's out the door, he wants to get out, he just wants to breathe.
In the end he does buy a ring. He even goes down on his knees. He's so fucking tired. He wishes he really could be the little star light years away that so desperately wants to be a shooting star and is still finding happiness in the end.
I got engaged
This time he isn't waiting for an answer, a reaction, isn't staring at his phone. He knows there will be no answer - there's nothing else to say.
.#####.
They tour Europe and Thomas finally feels like he can breathe again. He calls Vivi after gigs, lets her talk about wedding decisions she makes without him. But more often than not, he sends you a quick message. A photo from Florence, an anecdote how he almost fell off stage in France, that he misses talking to you from Stockholm and a selfie of him and Ethan with the Colosseum in the background from Rome which you saved to your phone.
"Do you think Sydney is nice?" Thomas asks Damiano one evening.
"You want to tour Australia, huh?" Damiano looks back at him but then his look changes. "It's not about touring, is it?"
Thomas shakes his head.
.#####.
FOUR YEARS AGO
It's already early May when Ethan comes to visit him in Los Angeles. He's excited, excited to see his friend, excited to have nothing to do and he hopes that he is finally getting away from deciding which colour the tablecloths at the wedding should have, which they still don't have a date for and will more than likely still be months away.
The first two days are the best he had since the tour ended. Just Ethan and him going to the beach, eating ice cream and existing next to each other. There's a party in the evening and Thomas almost gets Ethan to dance on a table with him but in the end he smiles fondly at him and stays on the ground. Thomas laughs when Ethan puts his hands on his hips to get him off the table at the end of the night. He still smiles when Ethan strokes his sweaty bangs out of his face and says goodnight, presses a light kiss to his cheekbone, hours later.
"You came home late!" It's the first thing he hears when he wakes up only hours later. Vivi's voice sharp next to him.
And then all of a sudden it isn't the relaxed holiday anymore he wanted, or Ethan wanted for himself. Vivi always hanging around, pulling him back when he gets too close or when Ethan puts an arm around his waist. There are more photos of her in Thomas' flowy shirts than usual, Thomas in the background sometimes, a hand here, an engagement ring there. A little reminder. Not one minute she leaves them alone, Ethan rolls his eyes when she cuddles up to Thomas at the pool one afternoon, making out with him until Ethan takes his book and leaves for his room.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing!?" She puts her hand on his chest. "You don't like it?"
"That's not what I'm talking about. Am I under surveillance or something?"
"You fucked with him, or someone with him, I don't care. But don't think I'll let him out of my sight or alone with you. That one party was enough."
"You're exaggerating," Thomas tells her but Vivi isn't listening anymore, "There's nothing you have to worry about. You know we aren't getting back together."
Ethan is staying away from him the next days, doing his own thing. Sending Thomas a photo from an art gallery he is going to, while Vivi is dragging him to another one at the other end of the city. He has a headache. Somehow there's a snapshot of him holding hands in an Italian gossip magazine a day later which Damiano sends him a photo off.
You remember when Ethan told us about his fave painting? And how the brushstrokes are unique? I wish, I could still remember the painting's name without asking him but I only remember the name of the tea I had. Who names a tea Dulce & Banana?
One morning, the second week of Ethan's stay, Ethan and Thomas take their breakfast to the pool. Listening to music together and Thomas rests his head on Ethan's shoulder while biting into a croissant.
"Smile!" Ethan says and then everything goes a little bit too fast. Thomas smiles when Ethan points his phone camera to them. While Vivi sneaks in from behind just in the moment Ethan rises his hand to show the camera his middlefinger, directly in front of her face. Strangely he has to giggle when he sees the end result. Vivi on the other hand is fuming, Thomas just looks at him, a little bit annoyed, a little bit lost. He posts it anyways and thinks about getting a hotel room for the rest of his stay.
"Can you at least try to be nice to her?" Thomas says later in the day.
Before Ethan can answer, Vivi lays her arm around Thomas: "We're going out for dinner now, right?"
"Are you joining?"
"No, I'm going to look for a hotel room."
Later he does look for a hotel room but before he books it, he decides to facetime Victoria.
"How are you two? Oh…" Vic looks at him surprised, "Where's Thom?"
"Out for dinner, with Vivi."
"Your holidays aren't that great?" She asks.
He tells her everything that gets on his nerves, how it feels like he can't talk to Thomas even five minutes a day. How he really doesn't want to be here and that he really was excited to be here in the beginning.
"This is why I didn't want to join." Chili is crawling into her lap. "Or why Damiano and I decided she isn't allowed to join us on tour."
"You decided this without me?"
Victoria sighs: "You can never be angry with him for long, damn you can't even say no to him even when he's the biggest fucking idiot." Vic and Chili are both looking at him. "Dami didn't want the paparazzi to swamp us, they somehow turn up when she's around, and I didn't want you to have to see this the whole time."
"Okay."
"Ethan, you … As I said you can't say no to him, he just has to look at you. We … we also thought it would be …," she shakes her head, "You and him is a different story, I didn't want to make it harder for you or him or for … For, you know, for her."
"Okay."
"And … I can see he's suffering."
Ethan startles when there's a knock on the door. Thomas in front of it.
"Did you eat?"
"Shitty pizza and an even shittier salad."
Thomas looks at Ethan's laptop: "One of your fuckbuddies?"
"I hope I'm better than that!?"
All three of them laugh, and Vic hangs up. Thomas gives him a paper bag. It contains some pastries and a salad that isn't shit according to Thomas and two pre-mixed cocktails in bottles.
"Can I come in?" Thomas asks, "I'm sorry because of earlier."
They go up to the roof in silence, they eat in silence, they drink in silence.
"Do you really want this engagement, Thom?"
"I don't know," he shrugs - fumbles for a cigarette.
"If you could start over with your life would you do it?" Ethan tries to change his approach. "Would you change anything?"
"Hmmm," Thomas looks down at the cigarette between his fingers, "I would. I would do a lot different now. Let the devil be my witness, I would do things differently."
"When she would have come up with me again, would you have still broken up?"
"Did you ask her to come up again?" Thomas looks at him - hurt and broken.
"No."
"Does it matter then?"
Ethan swallows. Maybe it doesn't matter after all. There's only cigarette smoke and silence between them.
"Can I stay here?" Thomas plays with his ring, twists it on his finger, puts it on another finger before he puts it back where it belongs.
Thomas cuddles close to him when they are in bed. All Thomas wants is another story, and Ethan settles on a story that one of his older sisters told him when he was a child.
Thomas is almost asleep, when he speaks again: "Can we book a room for us together?"
.#####.
Sydney isn't Rome. You knew but it still shocks you how the city and you aren't getting along - there's a point mid-year where you have to admit that you aren't going to be friends. Everywhere you step, everywhere you walk, you miss Rome. History surrounding you, traffic chaos, you miss it. It doesn't help that your new job isn't as good as you made it out to be in your head and your manager a dickhead.
Sometimes you think about how easy it would be to write Thomas. Like you did before, talk about your day, that your job is shit, how stressed you are. That the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You wish, you could hear his voice, hear him talk and fall asleep to the sound of his guitar. You want to tell him that you recently saw a poster of them a street you walk every day but the next morning someone already sprayed over it and you imagine how he would laugh and make a joke.
You don't write him, you don't answer when he writes. But in the end, you post a photo of you packing boxes. And a month later you post a photo of you back in Rome.
I hope Rome missed me as much as I missed Rome.
It's your first night back. You're happy, sitting on your new balcony with a bottle of wine. You're happy and melancholic. Thomas sends you a &lt;3 - and you almost start to cry.
I miss Rome as well
Realisation that you will think about him at every corner you turn and every street you cross again strikes you when you see his message.
Do you remember when you told me you didn't regret kissing me?
You do - you remember it still too clearly.
A few months after the first night at Ethan's place. After a few more nights together, you in Thomas' bed and in his arms for most of the evening. Until Thomas is turning onto his stomach and you end up sitting on his thighs, pressing kisses to his neck and shoulders.
"Do you regret being here?" Thomas mumbles into his pillow.
"No." Another kiss to his shoulder. "Why would I? I'm exactly where I want to be?"
"You really don't regret kissing me the first time at the pool?"
"I don't regret it," you say, "And I meant everything I said as well."
Thomas is still slightly humming into the pillow when Ethan joins you two in bed.
"You smell like sex," Thomas says, turns his head - and lifts his head into Ethan's touch when Ethan tousles his hair.
Ethan just grins while you're busying yourself with continuing to kiss Thomas' shoulder blades.
It's your deal. Ethan will do whatever he does, whatever he wants - go and come how he pleases. Will join you whenever he likes, taking advantage of the spare key Thomas gave him. More often than not. Thomas is different, a constant. But in the end Ethan isn't that different - he always comes back to both of you.
"Yes," he kisses your cheek, "You two don't, are you just cuddling?"
Now it's your turn to grin. Thomas shivers when you put your hand on the small of his back and breath lightly against his ear: "I think, Thomas would love to cum."
"Would he?"
Thomas nods and whimpers quietly, looking at you with pleading eyes.
"What would have happened if I wouldn't have come home?"
"He wouldn't cum." Thomas whimpers again, "Obviously."
You know, somewhere along the lines, Thomas will get his revanche at you for this. Later, when you do smell like sex, Thomas and Ethan cuddled close to you, you think home.
You still think about it sometimes, home.
.#####.
I felt safe.
He looks at the text, but deletes it, puts his phone down and goes for his guitar instead, he plays mindlessly. He plays until his mind is blank, no emotion or feeling left.
When he goes back to the bedroom, Vivi is in bed, red lingerie, but what catches Thomas off guard is his phone in her hands.
"What are you doing?"
"You changed your PIN?" She looks at him. "I also can't open it anymore with my fingerprint?"
"You shouldn't be on my phone."
He's tired. He's so tired again.
"You are hiding something from me." It's not even a question.
"No."
He doesn't. She knows, knew from the beginning, she still decided she wanted a relationship with him. Wanted to move to Los Angeles together, wanted to marry him. Maybe she really is in love, he thinks. He was at one point, maybe still is a bit, otherwise he wouldn't be here. But then he realises that she got him away from all his friends, from home, he feels alone. She's always there, but he's still alone. He's always wrong, sometimes he isn't, when she wants something. With everytime she posts a photo of her in one of his shirts, it gets worse. With every pic he posts, with every ohhhh and awwww in the comments, while Vivi is there to ridicule him, he wants to get away.
"Sure, lets say I'll believe you." She gets up and tries to open his shirt. "I didn't get into this for nothing."
"Not in the mood."
"You're never in the mood. You could at least fuck me, Thomas."
And then she rushes out of the room.
He wants to go home.
.#####.
Once again, it's November. And he breaks up with someone. It almost becomes a tradition, he's sarcastic to cope.
"You promised to marry me."
Thomas doesn't say anything.
"I wish we never met," she takes a plate that is next to the sink. "Everyone warned me about you."
That rings a bell, Thomas thinks but he keeps silent. He's too afraid he'll fold again, stay.
"You'll regret this." The plate flies towards him, he can just duck before it flies over his head and shatters on the wall. The last time it was a tea cup - he wants to cry. "I'll make you regret this."
He sinks down the wall, ends up between the shards of the broken plate.
"Please, stop." Thomas says, when he sees Vivi reach for another plate. "Stop."
"You'll see what happens next."
She throws her engagement ring at him and leaves.
And he finally cries.
.#####.
Thomas goes home for Christmas, he isn't planning on going back. He's back in Rome and he wants to stay.
He posts a picture of him being back.
I'll never be as happy somewhere as here
He smiles at his phone when you like the post, Ethan smiling at him in return.
Vic, Damiano, Ethan and him are spending New Year's in his new flat. Damiano cooking with Ethan's help. Vic annoying them with party crackers. He laughs, he's happy, he needed this.
"I missed you." Victoria hugs him from behind, then she annoys him with a party whistle, blowing it directly against his stomach.
The New Year starts with too much champagne, laughter, his friends and a walk Ethan takes him on.
"I'm glad you're back." Ethan offers him a cigarette. "Did you tell her you're back?"
"No." But Thomas smiles. "I think she knows."
He stays back a little, Ethan walking ahead slowly. There's one thing, he wanted to do, he gets the engagement ring out of his coat. Looking at the Tiber, he breathes in deeply, it's cold, then he throws it into the river and he sees it sink.
Happy New Year &lt;3
Happy New Year, Thom!
If he would have looked up, he would have seen you cross the bridge he walked over only minutes ago.
.#####.
Three Years Ago
Your year starts out differently than expected. It really starts a few days after it already started and it starts at a place you didn't expect, the supermarket. Almost it doesn't catch your attention but then you have a closer look. It's a magazine you see, and take from the rack. It's a flashy one with big letters and attention grabbing headlines and the word EXCLUSIVO in red. What grabs your attention is the photo of Thomas, and his ex, the photo photoshopped to seem torn apart and the exclusive interview the cover teases. Her name printed beneath another picture of her and the Polyamouros affair with his bandmate - what else did she have to go through? headline makes your head spin. You buy it and hurry to get home.
Your head spins even more, when you read it.
We already sent invitations for our wedding.
He broke up with me on my birthday.
He kicked me out of our shared house, without letting me get my stuff, in the middle of the night.
Before me, he had an affair with Ethan and some random girl. They both f*cked her, he tried to keep it a secret. This probably explains why he's incapable of real intimacy, one just isn't enough for him. I'm still wondering if he cheated on me during our time together, they were on tour, maybe they just fucked random groupies.
Maybe that's why we didn't have sex.
You can't believe that she got two double pages and you can't believe that she's talking about Thomas. Your Thomas. Maybe you don't want to believe it.
The next days the story is all over the place. Your friends who knew, blowing up your phone. Even Victoria reaches out to you.
Thomas keeps silent, the only thing which is said, that the statements do not reflect true events, is coming from their publicist. You can see him getting shit, see the hateful comments.
I cried in the shower. fuck.
That's what Thomas writes one night later.
I didn't do anything of this. I should have stayed with her, she said she would make me regret it.
You want to hug him, you want to tell him that everything will be okay. You don't, the moment just passes.
Ethan posts something close to a statement in his stories, which Thomas reposts.
The only thing, I want to say is this: All 3 people have consented to this form of relationship, no one cheated. It was a relationship with a person we adore and not some "random girl", it was full of love from all sides. Don't judge.
And then the narrative changes.
Their wedding planner speaking up, that no invitations where sent: "They didn't even have a date? Do you send invitations to your wedding without a date?"
Her birthday is in March - they broke up in November.
"I saw her throwing a cup at him after a party, because he ruined her party at his house, he paid rent for. He didn't say a peep."
"She left, he didn't kick her out. This is what she wrote me after they ended their relationship."
And then the story dies, another attention grabbing story coming along.
.#####.
It's over and done with, he tells himself when he's laying down to get his new tattoo on his birthday. Vic got him to go to therapy, after she saw the story with the cup and asked if it's true. He was hesistant, but he has to admit, she was right, it's better. Sometimes, like now, he is afraid it isn't over, that she'll make him regret it, somehow.
Then the needle starts and there's only the feeling of getting tattooed. Just blissful pain.
"You have to show," Vic says at the next band practice and then she already pulls down his loose joggers, "Come on! I already couldn't really admire that tattoo over your ass when you got it."
"Vic!" He pulls his joggers up again while Ethan and Damiano giggle. "It's on my back, not my ass."
She puts her hand on his back, just over the waistband of his joggers, directly over his ass: "I said, over your ass, not on your ass and now show me that new tattoo."
Thomas starts pulling his joggers down again before Damiano opens his mouth, "Please don't show us your dick."
"What is wrong with all of you. It's not on my dick, just on my pelvis, really upper thigh."
"Next to it," she laughs and then she has a closer look, "Interesting."
It's a small colosseum, around it a snake that carries a little star.
.#####.
It's early May and it starts slowly. The comments in his direction getting more, as Damiano starts getting more and more frustrated. Their newest album not getting the best reviews or the good attention they hoped for, it's their fifth, it shouldn't matter, they are working on the sixth. The hype died down, it's normal, Ethan tells him, it's okay. And Vic telling him to concentrate less on numbers again.
"You have been a mess since the day I met you." Damiano says one day.
It's dead silent in the room. Vic shakes his head at him.
"What?" Thomas' voice is small.
"You are a mess. Ethan even had to get the press to not publish the name of your ex because your other one is crazy."
"Dami, stop." Ethan says, he bites his lips.
"What?"
"They asked for a statement from me and they mentioned her name," Ethan sighs, "I paid them to not mention it. It's okay, I didn't want you to worry about it again."
The nail in the coffin follows two weeks later. It escalates one day. They are sitting in the practice room again, nothing wants to work, no riff, no lyrics, nothing. Damiano lashes out at all three of them and Thomas smokes more than he plays guitar. During his next smoking break, he feels for a folded sheet of paper in his pocket. They should try it, he thinks, it could work better than everything they have. He has a riff in his head for it, he has an idea for on intro, he has the lyrics written down - maybe Damiano can tweak them.
"This is childish," Damiano says after only reading the first line.
"'kay. When you think, I'm childish, I'll leave." Thomas looks at the paper in Damiano's hand. "You're hurting me. I'm not going through this again."
"Thomas, come on. We just need something better tha-"
"I'll get my stuff later."
Ethan takes the paper out of Damiano's hand: "Oh, Thom!"
But Thomas is already out of the door.
"What?"
"It's a fairytale I made up for him. It's about a little star that wants to be a shooting star but shooting stars aren't real stars, the little star isn't meant or even built to be one. The story is about the little star which tries to be something else without realising that people love it for what it is. The little star is unhappy, it wants to be a star that others wish upon, bring them luck but shooting stars are meteors burning, just surviving for us to see before they burn up and hit the ground, they die, Damiano." Ethan gives the paper back to him, "And stars are beatiful nonetheless. I thought he didn't understand."
"And now?" Vic asks carefully.
"He'll be here tomorrow."
But Thomas isn't there the next day. His guitars - gone, his pedals - gone, his equipment - gone, his hoodie he left behind the day before - gone.
"And now?" Vic asks again, sitting on the floor where Thomas usually would sit.
"I'm not doing this without Thomas. You have been a real dickhead to him the past weeks, he had every right to leave. Why did you have to be so condescending to him?"
And then Ethan leaves.
"I … This only started because of Thomas, he started this with me. We had that silly little dream together to become rockstars. It only worked because of Thomas. Then it should also end with him. I'm sorry, I … can't do this without him, I don't want to."
And then Vic is gone as well.
Only Damiano stays behind, the piece of paper in his hands.
Saggezza delle stelle
.#####.
I broke up the band. Can I do anything right?
The news say they are taking a break, you saw it. But you believe him when he writes that they broke up as a band. You believe it even more, when Ethan reaches out to you. He isn't saying much, he's only asking you to reach out to Thomas, that he thinks he isn't feeling well. You're on the way to your first date in a while when you get the text. You don't answer - you don't write Thomas when Pedro the guy you saw for lunch is asking you for a second date.
.#####.
Thomas opens a bar, it's late summer. He thought about it, what to do with his life now and decided he wants a break from music. He doesn't want to write music for money - he wants to enjoy it, wants to love playing guitar just for the love of playing. He doesn't think that anyone would care anyways and then he started thinking, ended up with a tapas bar. It should be small, full of people and laughter. The opening is a party, he's happy.
Ethan is there, next to him behind the bar. Someone is missing, but Thomas is too chicken to reach out to Vic - he still has the feeling he ruined part of her life. Ethan told him, that she tries to cope, that it's hard but that they all will find their way. Thomas misses her, he misses their dinner dates and their silly rituals.
"To something new!" His mum cheers to him and he cheers back.
Do you think people who are hurt can be happy?
.#####.
"Thomas, are you okay?"
It's a simple question, or at least should be one. He only came to the bar tonight to meet his date. Now he isn't answering, just stares past his barkeeper, into the tiny room of the bar full of guests. There's only static noise in his brain. And then he bolts for the backdoor, just runs. He runs until his lungs give out, stands with his back to the wall in a small alley, and lets himself sink down.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck."
Tears are stinging in his eyes. He really thought this would be over, he can't even remember how long it his been since that one rainy, gloomy day one past November. Or how long it has been since that one day in May. How long it has been since the last band practice. Or when he saw Vic or Ethan the last time. Or how long it's been since he came back from Los Angeles, with an engagement ring in his pocket that he threw into the river. Sinking down, just like one of his other dreams. He can't tell how long it's been, but he still remembers that voice.
"Fuck!"
He balls his hands into fists, slams them against the hard stone wall behind him. And he doesn't stop, he sniffs. He only stops when there's blood dripping drown his hands. Drips down from his knuckles onto the silver of his ouroborous ring, he gets blood into his blond hair somehow and winces when his knuckles slam against the wall another time.
"Fuck, please."
He pulls the hood of his hoodie over his head, into his face. No need for anyone seeing him like this, maybe even someone who still knows who he is. He searches for cigarettes, winces again when his opened skin comes in contact with the fabric of his jeans, but there are no cigarettes. He must have lost them, like he lost the last bit of his dignity. He thinks and laughs bitterly before he curls into himself. Somehow he manages to get his phone.
"Thomas?"
"Can you pick me up, please?"
"Sure? From the bar? Was your date this terrible?"
Thomas swallows, he never even saw his date. He stepped in and out of his bar in the timespan of two minutes.
"I'm not." He winces again. "Just pick me up, please. Ethan, please."
.######.
"Are you okay?"
It's another date, in a small tapas bar that is bustling, loud and full of people. With Pedro, the first person in a while you think that it could work with.
"Hmmm sure," but you're distracted. Distracted by a conversation that goes on behind you.
"Thomas, are you okay?"
When you turn, you can see someone in a hurry. Blond hair, tall. You shake your head, you must have imagined.
The evening goes on, you drink one of the best glasses of white wine you had in while. Talk, have fun, you laugh. This will work out, you tell yourself, how so often with him.
"Hi!? I'm here for Thomas, is he here somewhere?"
You wan't to ignore it again but the next sentence punches you in your gut.
"No, sorry. I don't think so. Salvatore, did you see Raggi come back?"
And the next one slaps you square in your face.
"No. We all just saw him bolt out of the backdoor like a mad man earlier but he didn't come back. Can you imagine dude owns this place."
"Are you sure, you are okay? You look like you just saw a ghost."
Blast from the past, you would say. You try not to suffocate yourself on your food.
"No, I'm fine," you hurry to reassure him, "But we could go home after we finish the wine."
He smiles at you.
Later, much later, your phone buzzes on your nightstand. You want to put it back again before you see the Instagram notification and without better judgement, you open the app and the direct message.
There's a kiss on your shoulder.
I miss you. Why do I still fucking miss you?
.#####.
"I'm useless." Thomas says a month later, when it happens again. Him running away when he sees you. "Vivi was right, I'm useless and not worth anyone's time."
"Thomas," Ethan brushes through his messy hair, "Please don't believe that, you're worth people's time. Certaintly my time, you aren't useless."
.#####.
"How is Tho?" Vic is asking him, nipping on her hot chocolate. It's getting colder outside again.
"Better, I think." Ethan tells her. "I think the bar is good for him, he loves having people around. He loves seeing people happy. I think it's the right thing for him, he's thinking about producing his own wine, he's experimenting with some grapes right now."
Vic hums, looking a little sad: "And how are you?"
"Fucking around."
"Literally?" Vic laughs.
"I fucked up a little?" He laughs as well. "I'm seeing this one girl, I really like her but I'm also seeing this other girl. I like her as well, but I'm not really interested in either of them? I know, it's weird and … well, I kind of forgot to tell them about each other?"
"Come on, you should know how this works." She still laughs before she gets serious again. "I'm glad you're still hanging on to Thomas, despite everything, he deserves someone like you."
When Ethan is driving her back home, Damiano's solo single plays on the radio. They both look at each other and Victoria changes the station.
.#####.
You are sitting on your couch, cuddled up. You're home, Pedro next to you.
"Are we together?" He smiles at you.
"Yes."
.#####.
"I want to show you something."
Thomas is excited, Ethan can tell and see, Thomas is skipping in front of him, but when they stand in front of the building, Ethan is confused.
"That's the house you throw me into the pool because I fucked your crush?"
"It's also the house she kissed me in the first time." Thomas smiles. "And it was on sale. It's a nice house, I wanted it."
Ethan shakes his head but he still smiles when he sees Thomas being happier than before.
.#####.
One Year Ago
You're happy, you really are. Rome feels like home again, you're in a loving relationship, your job finally not draining all energy out of you. Everything feels right again.
Sometimes when you're taking Thomas' umbrella with the dots on it, you're thinking about him. It outlasted him - still in your possesions. Sometimes there are evenings when Thomas writes to you, when he's on your mind. Sometimes Pedro asks if you want to answer him, he would understand, but you always shake your head. It still hurts.
.#####.
"Vic, people are looking already."
She's clinging to Thomas' body, arms around his neck and he has to hold her up when she wraps her legs around his thighs.
"I don't care. I haven't seen you in a year, you asshole."
It's true, it's over a year since they have seen each other last. He dreaded it when Vic reached out to him a few days ago but holding her, it already feels like no time passed. They are in his bar, he feels comfortable here. They can sit down, he can offer Vic some food, test his wine on her.
"I almost died a few days ago."
Thomas blinks at her.
"I went to a party, I got a little bit drunk." She smiles sheepishly. "A bit too drunk, I fell into the pool and I swear I almost drowned. I just didn't know how to get up? It was the weirdest feeling."
"How did you get up?" Thomas asks. He feels worse than he felt at the beginning of their conversation. He should have been there, get her out of there. Whatever happened at parties, they always saved each other since they were teenagers. He wasn't there when she would have needed him.
"Ethan was there with some guy and the dude jumped after me into the pool?" She plays with her white wine glass, lets the wine swirl. "He fished me out of the pool."
"I'm glad they were there with you."
"He looked a lot like you," she looks at him and sighs. "I thought it was you and then I thought I'm seeing god and I'll just die. How funny would that have been? I'm gonna die and god is just you judging me."
He laughs with her, he hugs her.
"Less parties for me now. I thought, I could go back to music. Maybe go into producing some stuff? I want to have my own label, encourage more girls going into rock music. I think, I would enjoy that." She pauses, takes another sip of her wine. "I wanted to ask if you would join in? Help me with starting it?"
"I can help a little bit here and there if you want me there," he says, "but don't get me wrong, I won't join. I have the bar, I'm really happy here and I have this project with a charity which advocates about abusive relationships. You could ask Ethan, he would love to do it, I think."
"But I can leave you the option to join in and own the label with us together when you're ready for music again?"
"Sure!" He gives her a pinky promise. "I'm sorry, Vic. I'm sorry that I fucked everything up."
.#####.
"Did you ever think about having a thing with two other people at the same time afterwards?" Thomas asks.
"With you?"
"Does it matter?" Thomas turns, pulls the blanket up to the tip of his nose.
"It does." Ethan sighs. "Yes, I actually had and I did think about it. But not with you."
"Oh."
"You need someone who loves you unconditionally. I do love you, but not like you need." Ethan sighs again. "It just worked because she loved you. She always wanted you. I don't think it would work any other way, with any other person."
"She didn't."
"What?"
"Love me!"
He curls up under the blanket.
"Maso," Ethan sits down next to him - brushes his fingers through his hair, "You're an idiot."
"Can you stay please."
"Yes, for tonight."
Ethan is gone the next morning, before Thomas even opens his eyes. Victoria tells him about work, the meetings they have together, and he is helping out but he isn't seeing Ethan again. He doesn't know what happened exactly, he just knows he doesn't want to be a piece of charity work. He also knows he's doing him wrong.
.#####.
This Year
You're in the supermarket to get a good bottle of wine. It's your anniversary, and you decided to have dinner on your balcony. You grab the bottle of white wine that springs to your eyes when you have a look around. Until now you just like the label, it's local, from the Lazio region. Before you put the bottle in your basket, you see the label on the back. There's a small picturous photo of a vineyard but next to it is another photo, one of Thomas smiling into the camera.
The bottle glides out of your hands, to the supermarket floor and shatters into pieces. People are looking at you while you try to hold your tears back. You're going back home without a bottle of wine, Pedro in the kitchen.
"I want to break up."
.#####.
Unknown number.
It's the fifth time today the number is calling him. He's laying in the sun and finally picks up. The phone almost drops to the ground when he hears Damiano's voice. He almost hangs up on him without saying anything.
But Damiano is faster: "I'm sorry, Tho. I was an asshole. You don't have to forgive me, I just wanted to apologise."
Thomas is silent first, he's in a better place than he was two years ago or even one, he realises. This would have gone differently then, he knows.
"I do," he says, "forgive you."
.#####.
You don't regret going to the party your friend dragged you to. You don't regret ending up in Thomas' bed. You don't regret the desperate sex, Thomas on top of and Ethan next to you. There's absolutely no regret when Thomas cuddles closer to you and you all stand in his kitchen the next morning.
You don't regret when you say, that you love him.
.#####.
Nothing changed when they all walk into their old rehearsal room.
"How did we get it back?" Vic asks.
"I paid the rent," Thomas says and ignores the looks the others give him.
It takes a while until they get around with each other again, but it works. They have new ideas. Sometimes they don't know how to act, what can be said or is too much but in the end, all of them are happy to be there. Back together.
"I thought we could try something," Damiano says. He pulls a piece of paper out of the pocket of his jeans, it looks more ragged now, after all the folding and unfolding it went through. He looks at Thomas. "If you want to."
.#####.
Thomas comes back with Ethan in tow. You're reading a book that you suspect to be Ethan's on Thomas' sofa.
"You're still here?" Thomas looks at you surprised.
"Yes." You swallow. "Did you want me to le-"
"NO!" He's fast to interrupt you and then sinks down next to you on the sofa. "I want you to stay. I want both of you to stay."
You kiss him on the nose and Ethan sits down on your side.
When you're all cuddled up together, you can see a tattoo flash when Thomas' waistband slides down his hips slightly.
"I didn't see this last night." You look at it interested and then tilt your head to look at his face. "Is there a meaning behind this?"
"I'm the snake, the little star is also me, I guess, but it's a story Ethan made up for me. And the colosseum, I missed Rome but … I fell in love you that day we met in front of it and went sightseeing together."
You cuddle up together, watch a film together, and Thomas takes some selfies of you all together. Him cuddled up against you, your head resting on his shoulders and Ethan next to you, his arm around the both of you.
He sends the pic to Vic.
Look who's back together? Just an idiot with his bandmate and some girl.
.#####.
END
All my friends told me you'd break my heart
Taglist:
Warnings: Mentions of an abusive relationship, some smut, angst and the big sad but with a happy end
Other: Thanks to the anon and Alba @maneskings who wanted this story <3
I wanted to make Vivi likeable in the beginning and there's a version where she is but it didn't work as well. There had to be the contrast between everything going wrong for him and seemingly everything going right on the outside and seemingly everything going right for Reader but in reality it doesn't.
And I wanted to make clear that obviously this is fiction and not reality. This is as it said everything going wrong.
@writingmaneskin, @oro-e-diamanti, @iamtashaquinn, @teenyweenynightghost, @findaqueenwithoutaking, @foreveryking-thatdied, @findoutwhoyougonnacall, @maneskinbrainrot, @little-moonbeam-666, @ethaneskin, @maneskin-dimensione, @l0standn0tf0und, @butkutee, @gr8rainbowpunk, @maneslut, @maneskintifoso, @weareoddlydrawn, @hiraetheral, @imjustanerdwholikestoread, @cuzimitaliano, @hopelessromantic727, @dating-villain, @maneskinsimp, @lauraosheaoh, @till-you-scream-and-cry, @wonderlandishell, @h1ppieth1ngs (I think you put the wrong handle on the form?), @paralianeyes, @roisinmillar (same here? sorry guys, I can't add you when you give me a name of a blog that doesn't exist), @livvyysstuff
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imgoingtofreakoutnow · 2 years ago
Text
Those who are left behind
Summary: Steve finds a connection while helping as a volunteer at Hawkins High
Pairing: Steve Harrington x gn!reader (can be seen as platonic or pre-romantic)
Warnings: mentions of death and mourning
Words: 1k
A/N: Hey, I hope you like this! I had fun writing it so yeah... sorry if it's a bit sad tho :D
Tags: @hellotvshowtrash @yn-ymn-yln @auroracalisto
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Steve had been folding clothes for what it felt like forever. The moment he finished one pile, another appeared in a neverending cycle. He was more than surprised by how many clothes people could spare the moment disaster happened.
At some point, as he folded an oversized shirt or some worn jeans, his mind wandered off, haunting him with visions of everything that had happened in the last few days.
He wished he could help more, that he could do something more than folding clothes and occasionaly sewing holes in socks. He wanted to go back in time to stop all that destruction and pain, fix everything that went wrong...
And save those who got hurt, he thought, closing his fists around the fabric of a shirt.
"Hey, you alright?"
A voice coming from the side made Steve turn around toward Y/N. They started helping in the "clothes and toys" section the previous day, around the same time he did, but Steve knew them long before that day.
Steve used to sit behind them in biology class and, when he wasn't talking behind the teacher's back, he looked in a weird, bored awe at how neatly and closely they took notes. However, they had never spoken to each other before this.
"Not really, no" Steve scoffed, quickly folding the shirt as he tried to iron the creases that had appeared on it.
Y/N nodded, going back to sorting the different clothes by size and age. Then, eyeing carefully Steve, they asked softly: "Have you lost someone in the earthquake?"
"It wasn't-" Steve stopped as those words left his mouth. Of course they didn't know what really happened. They didn't know Hawkins – if not the entire world – was about to change.
No one did.
Except him and a bunch of highschool kids.
"Yes. Yes, I... I did." He nodded slowly, his eyes stuck on the printed logo of the shirt he had just put to the side. "We did."
"We?"
"My friends and I. We... we lost a friend," he murmured. "A good friend."
"I'm sorry for your loss." They paused for a good minute. "I know how hard it is to lose someone."
Steve glanced at Y/N. "Did you lose someone as well?"
"Not yesterday, no." They shook their head, fidgeting with a ring on their middle finger. "I lost my grandma, five years ago. And I know it's not the same: your wound is still new, mine had a while more to heal; but sometimes my heart aches because I can't run to her and tell her what good or bad happened to me during the day."
For a moment they stopped moving, clenching their hands to their chest, breathing slowly in and out.
"Sometimes I just wish I could hug her one last time, tell her how much I love her and just... you know... exist there with her, for a little while longer."
Y/N raised their eyes from their hands and found Steve staring at them, eyes wide and speechless. They quickly lowered them, passing a hand through their hair.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel worse with my words..."
"It's okay." Steve cut them off with a joyless smile. "I understand all too well what you're saying."
Silence fell again and the two went back to their jobs, a synchronised and perfectly working machine made up by two broken souls.
Then Y/N spoke again.
"You don't have to answer me but... how did they die?"
Steve considered ignoring the question. He hadn't really talked about it with anyone else outside the group and he wasn't sure what to say or how to say it.
But the need to tell someone else, someone who could understand, was stronger than his doubts.
"He died saving us, that fucking idiot..." He scoffed, shaking his head. "As if him dying a hero would make his loss any easier..."
He took a deep breath and he felt his throat burn with the sensation that anticipates tears.
"Does it ever get better? The weight... does it ever ease?"
He knew how he sounded: desperate, like a beggar or a dying man begging for Death to either take him or let him be.
He expected pity but there was none in Y/N's eyes. Just recognition. They understood.
"It needs time. A lot of time. And just as much patience. But it does. It gets to a point where the pain of losing them and the joy for having known them mix, and thinking about them doesn't feel so..."
"Heavy?"
Y/N nodded. "There will still be bad times though, and their absence will feel like drowning in a cup of water... and no matter how much time passes, it still hits like a fucking truck."
"Wow," Steve scoffed again, this time with more light in his eyes. "Is this supposed to make me feel hopeful or scared for my life?"
"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry..." Y/N covered their face with a teddy bear they were putting away. "I didn't mean to sound so pessimistic..."
"You didn't." Steve laughed softly. It had been a while and that sound felt weird on his lips, however it fit just as it used to. "You were just realistic. And I was trying to be funny and deflect my grief." He shook his shoulders. "Didn't work that well..."
Y/N nodded, a small smile on their lips. "At least you folded that shirt like a pro."
Another scoff as Steve passed them the shirt. "Thanks? After all, this could be my vocation."
Y/N raised their eyebrow. "What?"
"Being a housewife."
They unexpectedly broke out into laughter, leaving Steve slightly taken aback. That sound was strangely soothing and warm to his ears.
"Yeah" Y/N nodded, "I can totally see you wearing an apron!"
It was Steve's turn to laugh now and when they got back to their respective jobs, he knew something had switched. In him and between them, and despite the pain still there, he couldn't help but smile at the new-found connection.
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