#people have been able to change my mind on things before about LMK

[itsabouttimex2]

OP, you are deluding yourself with the fallacious argument that an unreliable narrator is to be taken as reliable when they do good, but unreliable when they do bad.

You want to sympathize with Macaque so bad that you are retroactively whitewashing and downplaying his crimes by excusing them as “not that bad” or “done for a good purpose”.

Macaque did not “trick me”.

You want him to be relatable and sympathetic so badly that you have tricked yourself into thinking he was a good guy from the start because you assume that MK speaks for the narrative.

I’m going to lay this out with gifs:

Macaque enjoys hurting people.

Macaque enjoys hurting people.

Macaque enjoys hurting people.

Macaque enjoys hurting people.

Macaque enjoys hurting people.

Macaque enjoys hurting people.

MACAQUE ENJOYS HURTING. PEOPLE SO MUCH THAT THE MAGIC HE USES VISUALLY REFLECTS HIS EMOTIONS AT THE MOMENT

And if you win try me tell me that ALL of this is fake, that Macaque is such a good liar that he’s faking even the emotions of dozens of his shadows at once just for the sake of a facade, you can try, certainly!

But it’s not true.

And even if it WERE true, that he’s bluffing or playing or whatever, that doesn’t mean he’s not a bad person, because he’s STILL hurting innocent people. If I hold a gun to someone’s forehead and convince them that I’m going to blow their brains out, I’m a bad person even if the gun is unloaded.

Even if I’m hurting innocent people to level a score or “protect my feelings”, I’m a bad person for hurting those people in the first place.

“He hides his “good nature” to keep people away”- he tracks down MK for the sake deceiving him, manipulating him, stealing his powers, and then trying to kill him. And no one is TRYING to get close.

(And you can’t be good natured if you hurt innocent people)

“He didn’t try to murder MK”- Macaque launched an attack powerful enough to level a mountain at him while he was trapped under the staff.

“He didn’t brutalize MK”- Macaque puppeteers the kid’s friends to beat MK around. It doesn’t matter that he was “trying to teach MK a lesson��. An innocent person was still beaten by his own friends literally because of Macaque deciding that violence is the answer.

“Macaque barely hit Tang”- he launched the man into a solid wall.

It doesn’t matter if each and every last one of these actions was pretend or a “defense mechanism”.

I think hurting innocent people for your own gain makes you bad.

That’s it, man.

You can believe that Macaque has never ever even once at had a single itty-bitty pinky finger of sincerity behind any of his worst actions, sure, and that he was 100% all the way absolutely and entirely sincere for all his best actions if you want.

I’m always going to disagree.

But I enjoyed the argument- I don’t mind having my mind changed with a good enough argument. Clearly neither of us are going to change each other’s minds, but I do like seeing another person’s perspective on Macaque. I’ll keep that in mind for when I write him next- I like to try and be more nuanced in my writing than I am in my personal opinions.

For fun how about rating Wukong ship from lmk and give your opinion why?

SWK Ship Ratings

(Scores rank from -10 at the lowest, and 10 at the highest)

Shadowpeach

Name Rating: 5/10. Basic, but rolls off the tongue. Started the trend of Sun Wukong having extremely basic ship names- more on that below.

Canon Rating: 0/10. Whatever they had in the past, Macaque simply treats Wukong far too awfully to really justify the two of them ever getting together. Even the attempts at reconciliation feel more like extremely forced ship baiting, given how it goes from one of the two being marginally kinder to the other than usual, then immediately dropping it for more sniping. (Past!Shadowpeach receives 5/10.)

Fanon Rating: -10/10. I’ve spoken at length about this, but fans love to distort Wukong into a drooling abuser so stupid he can’t breath through his nose, usually while turning Macaque into a Possession Sue who only serves to be the author’s simpering self-insert who is the most perfect little baby of all time who has never ever done anything wrong at all even once. If there is an attempt to be “nuanced” or “unbiased” it manifest as “Sun Wukong “killed” (re: defended himself against) Macaque so he’s worse.” It’s an awful, extremely pervasive dynamic that rots any fandom enjoyment I could have had for this couple.

Personal Enjoyment: 6/10. Getting to write Macaque as the legitimately awful person that he is takes off the edge of seeing constant “uwu sadboi” Macaque content. Still, I don’t touch anyone else’s Shadowpeach content because of this.

Peachlotus

Name Rating: 2/10. As you’ll see, most ship names involving Sun Wukong are, uh… extremely lazy. Just one of the other character’s traits with “peach” slapped before/after it. Fandom really dropped the ball with most of these. This one is especially clunky, at least on my tongue.

(See, Macaque gets stuff like Lunartides, Inkypages, Shadowpeach, etc- all very cool.. We need to diversify the nouns is what I’m saying. Coulda been something like “GingerRoot” cause orange fur + plant boy. “FlowerBuds” for the platonic name for peaches + lotuses. Do you guys see what I’m saying. It can’t just be raw peaches all the way down.)

Canon Rating: 2/10. Ne Zha also doesn’t treat Wukong too kindly, interacting with him mostly through insults and physical attacks. He does seem to have some understanding of the king, though, which gives him a slight boost over Macaque.

Fanon Rating: 1/10. It barely exists, and what little does exist is essentially just “Ne Zha is mad at Wukong over what the fuck ever, so they’re fighting” and little more. There’s a lot of potential for bonding over immortality and awful pasts or being commandeered by domineering authority figures, which I wish was used more often.

Personal Enjoyment: 2/10. I don’t see the dynamic, personally. Again, Ne Zha’s only interactions with him are only ever vitriolic or exasperated in nature, which doesn’t leave stable footing for a relationship to stand. Maybe I’ll make a chatbot for them one day and see if I come around to it.

“Freepeaches”

Name Rating: -5/10. This shit is exactly what I’m talking about with the lazily slapping “peach” onto whatever and going on. “Free” has no meaning between Wukong and Tang- it’s just a holdover from a more popular ship. Tang only mooches food from Pigsy. That’s one of the biggest elements of their dynamic. Sure, Tang likes free stuff (food, rides, physical labor), but when does he ever get that from Wukong? It just makes no sense.

AND IF IT HAD TO HAVE THE FRUIT, TANGYPEACHES WAS RIGHT THERE

Canon Rating: 6/10. Tang literally drew himself and the Monkey King together inside a heart. He adores Wukong, thought maybe not for who he truly is- and the two don’t any interaction in terms of Tang realizing his autistic parasocial special interest idol is a lonely old sage who misses his friends, which cripples what was a pretty cute dynamic. I think Tang coming down from his hero worship and being just a genuine friend to SWK would be cute, definitely.

Fanon Rating: 9/10. Pretty enjoyable! Freepeaches is one of the few dynamics where Sun Wukong isn’t constantly turned into a punching bag/villain to be beaten around for the amusement of the audience, and the two are often portrayed as legitimately healthy together- I especially enjoy how Tang is portrayed as needing to move past his hero worship for the two to have a healthy relationship. It’s cute.

Personal Enjoyment: 6/10. Never addressing the resemblance to Sanzang or having them interact in regards to this while the circlet is back on Wukong’s head feels like a massively missed opportunity, honestly. I think Sun Wukong’s personal feelings have been left to the wayside for far too long in canon, and getting to a point where almost every fucking character represses their feelings is lazy and boring.

Peachbuns

Name Rating: 4/10. Again. Just “peach” slapped onto an adjective or noun. It’s frustratingly boring. This one sounds delicious and both components are related to food at least, which fits Pigsy’s background… but it also sounds like something a horny dude would ask for pics of in your DMs.

Canon Rating: 1/10. Pigsy isn’t willing to take any of Wukong’s shit, so he serves as a pretty great “bullshit barrier” that provides a legitimately strict opposing force to Wukong, but there’s little else to even their relationship out. He’s never kind or supportive or worried- if the two interact, it’s always through the lens of “Pigsy is mad/suspicious”. There’s never any real bonding or growth between them at all.

Fanon Rating: 4/10. This ship barely exists, and when it does it’s Sun Wukong being lectured through life by a big strong man- not a dynamic I’m a fan of. However, it is surprisingly kind to Wukong in terms of empathizing with his struggles. Again, I wish there was less of “Pigsy teaches Wukong basic life skills” because it falls right back into the revolting fanon that is “SWK is a big dumb fuck who can’t read or cook or take care of himself without a husband to wipe his ass.”

Personal Enjoyment: 2/10. I just don’t click with it. Pigsy doesn’t like Wukong, doesn’t trust him, and doesn’t interact with him outside of that.

Moonstone

Name Rating: 10/10. This is what I like! Moonstone is not only a very real (and very beautiful) mineral, but it ties to both of them equally! You don’t see Wukong’s status as a stone-born demon be referenced often, so this is a refreshing change of pace from the constant “peach” names.

Canon Rating: 7/10. Chang’e is a lovely woman who is simultaneously not be willing put up with Sun Wukong’s bullshit while still legitimately respecting and admiring him. It makes for a nice duality in their relationship that most of his dynamics don’t provide.

Fanon Rating: 10/10. The working dynamic is so fucking good to start with that I’ve never once seen fanon drop the ball. Never. This ship is always so fucking sweet and honest with Chang’e calling out Wukong for his bullshit while never pushing it to the “Shit on Sun Wukong Show” levels that the fandom loves so much- she takes no shit, but does no harm. She’s supportive and acknowledges his traumas and fears. Wukong does his best for her. Moonstone shippers get an A+ and extra recess time.

Personal Enjoyment: 7/10. I just… I really like this one, dammit. There’s not a lot to go off of, but seeing fanworks that do not primarily treat SWK like living trash/baby the hell out of him is nice.

Lionpeach

Name Rating: 3/10. Again. Very boring and generic. I’ve seen Fuzzypeach which is a little cuter, at least. Still, it’s all the same “peach”+noun format.

Canon Rating: 3/10. The devotion Azure bears to Sun Wukong seems like it would bear a higher marking, but it’s shallow and flimsy. Azure never understood Wukong, never wanted what was best for him, never cared about his safety or happiness. Azure projects his beliefs and wants onto the people around him, blinding the big fella to shortcomings on their parts, and is delusional enough to never look inwards. Still, I can legitimately see

Fanon Rating: 0/10. It’s just smut. That’s it. When it isn’t it’s just “Ooooh! Azure is jealous of Macaque! Tee-hee, sorry Azure!” and that’s it. I’ve never actually seen any non-sexual, Azure-focused Lionpeach.

Personal Enjoyment: 5/10. It’s a fun enough dynamic to explore, especially with how unhealthy it is. I’ll probably make a bot of this too one day. Maybe a “yandere dads” type. Or a mutual Primal Moon bot.

Celestialchaos

Name Rating: 10/10. Another not peach-based name is a win in my book!

Canon Rating: 6/10. Xiangliu is civil enough to Wukong (about as much as everyone else), but the mention of them having once been friends is what got my attention. Shrouded past + + potential reincarnation shenanigans + decently civil behavior = a very happy writer. It’s so little but it makes my brain itch.

Fanon Rating: 0/10. It doesn’t even exist babes ;( I’m scrounging for water in the lonely plains of a desert y’all. I’m a lonely little cactus and Celestialchaos is my annual three-inch rain.

Personal Enjoyment: 10/10. C’mon now. You all were expecting this. I love this ship. I’ve already made four chatbots. I love Xiangliu as a wild little freak who desperately tries to push Wukong away from other people and sad lonely Wukong finding refuge in a freaky toxic snake. Especially I like the idea of Xiangliu pitting himself against Macaque and going after Sun Wukong just to cause a little trouble, only to actually catch feelings and start pursuing him in earnest. I like “I want you at your worst so I can prove that I still love you even then” Xiangliu and “You love me at all?” Wukong.

I really like this ship.

End Result

(Scores ranging from -40 to +40)

Shadowpeach= 1/40

(Past!Shadowpeach would around 20)

Lotuspeach= 7/40

Freepeaches= 16/40

Peachbuns= 11/40

Moonstone= 34/40

Lionpeach= 11/40

Celestialchaos= 26/40

[starryjake]

medicine | s.j

in which jake is sick and the only thing that will make him feel better is a taste of you.

pairing: jake x fem!reader

includes: face sitting, oral sex, jake being sick, squirting, cumming untouched, cumming in pants, face riding (lmk if i missed anything).

jake was game to eat you out at any time.

you’re exhausted after a long day of work or classes? jake was there already kneeling in front of the bed, awaiting your pussy.

it’s the middle of the night and you’re tucked into bed, fast asleep? jake can’t help the craving he gets and just has to have one lick of your addictive taste before he’s able to fall asleep.

you step foot out of the shower and within less than a minute, jake is laying you down in the tub and devouring your pussy.

the point was, it didn’t matter the occasion. jake just always wanted to eat you out.

that was never anything you felt the need to complain about. you knew people who’s boyfriends refused to go down on them and you couldn’t believe it. you and your boyfriend had just about the opposite of that problem.

but since jake was always game, that meant he wanted it even when he was in not-so-great situations himself.

“no, jake,” you said assertively, shaking your head.

“please,” he begged, looking at you with those pleasing puppy-dog eyes.

at any other given time, you would’ve said yes. just like jake always wanted to eat you out, you always wanted to get eaten out. you two were a match made in heaven.

however, jake had picked up some virus going around campus and had been completely knocked out by it. he’d spent the past two days in bed sleeping, trying to rid his body of the sickness.

you’d been his faithful nurse, staying close by in case he needed anything. you made him soup, brought him medicine every few hours, monitored his temperature, and gave him everything else he could’ve possibly needed. except, that is, the one thing he actually wanted.

“why not?” he practically whimpered. “it’s been days. i deserve it. i’ll feel so much better.”

his desperation almost made you laugh. he wanted you so badly and if he wasn’t as sick as he was, you would’ve given it to him, but he just wasn’t well enough. he was still sniffly, still weak, still running a fever, and just simply was not in the right position to be giving you head.

“you deserve it?” you couldn’t hold back the laugh this time.

“i do!” he whined, not finding the situation funny whatsoever. “i’ve been stuck in this bed for days feeling like shit and all i want is to have my face buried between your legs. just a taste, baby, please.”

you shook your head.

“just a taste is gonna turn into you eating me out for hours,” you said.

“and what’s wrong with that?” he pouted.

“you need to be sleeping and getting better,” you told him.

he leaned forward in your shared bed to get closer to you, who was sitting at the foot of the bed. he placed his hand on your thigh, tilting his head to the side.

“your pussy will make me better,” he said softly.

you placed your hand on top of his, looking into his pleading eyes. he was still so handsome, even as sick as he was. you were tempted, you had to admit.

“i don’t know, jake,” you said.

“please, baby,” he begged you, practically on the verge of tears. “i’ll make you feel so good, i promise.”

his pink cheeks, his swollen lips, his teary eyes, you just couldn’t say no to him.

plus, he said it would help him feel better, so how could you argue with that?

“fine,” you gave in. “lay back.”

jake bit his lip to prevent himself from smiling in victory. his eyes lit up when you agreed and he immediately complied, lying back down on his back.

you crawled up the bed until you made it to his abdomen. you planted your knees on either side of him and hovered over his body, second guessing whether you should actually do this.

“are you sure, jake?” you sighed.

jake’s face flashed with terror at the mere idea of you changing your mind. his eyebrows furrowed together in worry.

“i’m sure,” he insisted. “please, i need it. it’s my medicine.”

for whatever reason, his words turned you on. calling your pussy his medicine was all you needed to hear to shuffle your shorts down your legs, leaving you bare and exposed to him.

he licked his lips and watched you closely as you crawled up the remainder of his body until landing by his face. you hovered above him, sighing at the sight of him underneath you.

“sit,” he urged, beyond eager to get his tongue inside you.

“stop me if you can’t breathe,” you warned, knowing his nose was stuffed and his mouth would be occupied.

he didn’t say anything, just grabbed your hips and pulled you down so you were actually sitting on his face.

a surprised moan escaped your lips as jake immediately started licking your folds, gathering all your wetness on his tongue. he moaned, muffled, but the vibrations from it were extremely pleasurable.

you dug your hand in his mop of messy hair, legs already starting to tremble as he swiped his tongue up and down the length of your pussy.

you looked down and you could just tell he was in his most happy place. his eyes were closed, savoring the sensation of licking your pussy and tasting your sweet arousal. he was almost moaning as much as you were, certainly enjoying it as much as you, if not more.

you turned your head back and weren’t surprised at all by the sight of his hips thrusting up into the air, desperate for any kind of friction. his neglected cock was straining against his pajama pants, but you knew he wasn’t expecting you to touch him. he just wanted to eat you out, and that was enough for him.

“tastes so fucking good,” he said through an exhale, taking a second to catch his breath.

“are you doing okay?” you asked him, raising yourself off his face.

“more than okay,” he assured you. “i could do this all fucking night.”

he grabbed your hips and pulled you back down onto his face, going straight for your clit this time. he wrapped his lips around the bud and sucked on it softly, swallowing your taste.

you yelped, your legs clenching around his face.

“oh fuck, jake,” you cried out, your grip tightening in his hair.

he released his suction on your clit and went back to gliding his tongue up and down your pussy. he stopped at your hole and delved his tongue inside, letting out a broken moan at your tight walls around his tongue.

you found yourself slightly grinding on his face, subconsciously trying to rub your clit against his nose while he thrusted his tongue in and out of your hole. you knew he didn’t care. in fact, he loved it. he loved you humping his face in an attempt to increase the pleasure.

you sat up again, removing your pussy from his face. a string of your arousal mixed with his spit kept your pussy connected to his lips.

he looked up at you in confusion and even a slight hint of frustration as to why you just took away his treat—your pussy.

“why?” he asked urgently.

“your forehead is so warm, jakey,” you said, having brushed against it while you were tugging his hair.

it’d brought you back down to earth, reminding you that you were riding the face of someone who was not entirely up to health.

“i’m fine,” he said, annoyed. “i feel so good, please just come back. let me have it again.”

he was so, so desperate. you knew you should get off and let him get some sleep, but he wanted it so bad. so, you lowered your hips back down to his face and allowed him to lick up your pussy lips.

“fuck, thank you,” he moaned out, relieved to have your warm pussy back on his face. “i feel good, i promise. just need your pussy on me, baby, that’s all.”

you sighed in pleasure, leaning back slightly and starting to grind again. jake closed his eyes again, lapping and slurping at your pussy.

your stomach was warm and the knot would unravel soon, you were sure of it. he was so good at eating you out, you never lasted long.

“harder,” he urged, pulling you down on his face even more. “ride my face harder, baby.”

you whimpered, humping his face harder. your puffy clit hit the tip of his nose every time you fucked your hips forward. jake fucking loved it. he loved inhaling through his nose and smelling your sweet pussy, having it right there in front of him.

he loved you sitting on his face just as much as he loved laying on his stomach and eating you out regularly. he loved when you would just lose all control and ride his face like you were riding his cock. he loved to be used.

“fuck, jake,” you sobbed out. “i’m gonna fucking cum, oh my—don’t stop, please don’t stop. fuck, i’m cumming!”

you squealed as your orgasm washed over you. your legs tightened around his face and his tongue quickened, eating your pussy through your orgasm and lapping at the excess wetness dripping out of you. you fucked his face, letting all your weight sit on him because your brain was in too much of a fog to care.

“fuck,” jake moaned against you. “you’re so fucking hot, angel. wait! don’t get up.”

he gripped your waist, stopping you from climbing off his face.

“why? you should sleep now,” you said, catching your breath from your orgasm.

he shook his head, pulling you back down.

“need more,” he mumbled, lightly circling your clit with the tip of his tongue, going gentle as to not overstimulate you.

“no, jake,” you declined, however made no attempt to stop him.

“shh,” he shushed you, disregarding your words. “please, baby. i just need a little more and then i’ll be all better, promise.”

you whimpered as he rubbed his wet tongue on your drenched folds. he wrapped his arms around your thighs, basically keeping you trapped on his face.

“jake,” you whispered, pushing some stray strands of hair out of his forehead.

“so good,” he mumbled, flattening his tongue. “ride my tongue, baby. c’mon, i know you can do it.”

you started grinding back and forth on his tongue, head falling back at the sensation. his tongue was so warm and wet and felt euphoric as he laid it out for you to use, to rub your spent pussy on.

if jake was paying attention to his own cock, he’d realize how much pain he was in. he was so, so hard, and needed to be touched desperately. but he couldn’t. he just wanted your pussy and nothing else, not even oxygen.

“fuck,” you moaned. “feels so fucking good, jake. i think i’m gonna cum a lot.”

you didn’t know what you were saying. you were so fucked out and jake was too pussy drunk and sick to comprehend your words either.

you knew what you meant, but he didn’t.

you rubbed your pussy all over his face, getting your wetness all over his nose, his cheeks, and his chin. he started licking you again, moaning nonstop.

“i’m gonna—mm, jake! i’m cumming!”

it hit you a lot faster this time, so fast that you couldn’t even give him a proper warning.

you also couldn’t warn him as a stream of wetness shoots out of you. you were squirting all over his face and that was what did it for jake. that was what had him humping his hips up into the air one more time and cumming untouched in his pants.

he moaned, feeling sweaty and lightheaded as he felt your wetness all over his face. briefly, he thought he might pass out. even feeling so weak, he still ate you out through your second orgasm, drinking all the fluid you’d just released and moaning from how delicious it was.

he hummed, babbling nonsense because he was so far gone. you pulled yourself off his face, your pussy twitching from over sensitivity.

“baby,” he mumbled.

“yeah?” you retorted.

“i came,” he told you.

you frowned, looking down at his pants and noticing the stain of cum seeping through the fabric.

“but…” you trailed off. “you weren’t even touching yourself.”

“i know,” he said. “i think i’m just…really sensitive when i’m sick. but guess what?”

“what?” you asked, already starting to pull his pants down to help clean up.

“i was right about your pussy being medicine,” he informed. “i feel completely better.”

you laugh, shaking your head in dismay.

“you’re such a weirdo.”

-

this is FILTH. what i wouldn’t give to sit on jake’s face man.

thanks for reading!

[starlostseungmin]

stray kids ─── as one direction songs.

✰ pairing : non-idol!skz x afab!reader

✰ genre : fluff, angst, maybe suggestive?

✰ warnings : subtle mentions of sex and drugs, kissing, mentions of food and profanity. lmk if i missed smth.

✰ notes : uhm i really don't know what i wrote. this has been sitting on my drafts since november and thank god anon reminded me about it (i actually went on hiatus after minho's birthday last year so yeah) the songs i associated with skz members are just strongly my opinion mehehe i hope you guys like it, idk if you agree with me in regards with the songs but DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS after it! thank you so much <33

✰ tags : @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly

masterlist | taglist.

chan ─── perfect

honorable mention: little things

you already know how fucked up your life is but ever since he came, those days became different. it is always the small gestures that one fails to notice in the blink of an eye. you are just going to be surprised by the time it is done or how you managed to get out of a small inconvenience. he loves you so much that he would put you first before anything else. 

chan is different from everyone else. maybe because he is labeled to be kind and so above average of doing the bare minimum which people seek from their partners. he’s perfect but he doesn’t think of it the same way. 

you tried to convince him a hundred times but all you got in response is him being a blushing mess and his giggle that makes your heart warm every time you hear it. a smile would tug on your lips that would make him stare at you, he’d bounce back on the things you said to him and you think about what did you do in your past life to deserve someone as perfect as him. 

“baby, you’re perfect,” you said for the nth time, “no, i’m not, but i’m perfect for you,” he winked. “that was smooth, chan,”

lee know ─── night changes

he might be the type to not show his feelings immediately but he’s the one who subtly shows them. it started slowly, he reassured you that everything would fall into place once you both could figure out what was going on with this relationship. 

but as long as you’re together, the love you and him shared will never change. although the process of this love story has made things go in different directions, the thought of having to stick together is essential. 

your parents didn’t like him at first, they had someone in mind and that wasn’t him and yet, you didn’t care even if your first date was a disaster and the next one after that, but that didn’t stop you. it took a while for your parents to finally accept him after tons of convincing them that he’s a great guy, but it succeeded later on. 

you had a place on your own and welcomed his cats to live with you when some of them were wild, that’s what you think. minho was a mess when you met him, but thanks to you, it’s not that bad anymore. 

changbin ─── temporary fix

honorable mention: i want to write you a song

changbin is the type to offer himself as someone you can lean on but it’s not always because of this friendship you have, but as a lover who wanted to make you feel better and forget about shit. 

temporary fix is not always meant to be a cover-up of something you’d open up again to allow another train of bullshits in your life. it felt like he was being sent from the heavens to look out for you, an angel whose sole mission is to make you happy, the same feeling like something that keeps you high. 

there’s this thing on changbin’s vibe that you don’t want to share with anybody else and he makes you feel things when you’re with him. even though this relationship sounds like a fling and a guy who sneaks into your dorm late at night to make out with you, well, it used to be. but you know changbin is so much more than that after a while. 

the phrase, “you can call me when you need me, you know?” whenever he sleeps with you is now in the trashbin the moment you settle to be someone to each other.

hyunjin ─── last first kiss 

remember the time when he said that he chose to be the last love instead of the first? exactly. being the last person to love is basically spending the rest of your life with him, even if he’s not your first kiss, not your first love, not your first in everything, it’s fine as long as he’ll be the one you’ll remember as your eternal love. 

hyunjin being fitted into this song is like a message that he wanted to convey to his love, a sentiment that would indicate how much he’d spend time and effort to stay by your side until the end of time. indeed, a hopeless romantic man he is. 

last first kiss is the very first song that reminds you of him, it is part of those memories you made with him. it was that time when he decided to take this relationship to the next level, yes, he did mention that he wanted to be your last, and by what he meant, an everlasting love. 

“let me be your last,” and when you heard him say that, you knew he was the man who fits perfectly into your broken puzzle that would mend the wound forever.

han ─── rock me

honorable mention: midnight memories

rock me suits him as well as midnight memories. but midnight memories have their effects on han, giving him the vibes of being a musician specializing in the rock genre. and as someone who loves to listen to almost every genre in the world, you fell in love with him after watching him busking by the streets. 

you were amazed by how talented he is. his fingers strummed that guitar well, and his voice? like an angel. one could say that he is a free-spirited human being who does whatever he wants and writes songs about some things that piqued his interest. 

then there’s you, a broken melody who longed for him to come back, the same goes for him who let you go. both of you thought that you were too young to be in love and jisung was better off alone but his songs were dedicated to your break up. you rocked his world when you came and left broken notes when it ended.

but he always believed that what you had back then, was real and that you’d always remember the love you had. 

felix ─── why don’t we go there 

honorable mention: kiss you

felix is someone who gets hyped easily whenever you’re with him. his bright smile, his funny reactions, and the unidentified sounds that came out of his mouth made him a fun guy to be with. it started with a fling that turned out to be something you didn’t want to rush but it is slowly beginning to have a label. 

having a relationship with him offered different dynamics. it is the way he grabs your hand when you both start to get caught by the waves crashing by the shore or how he felt when you kissed him for the first time. he is someone who can get dragged with you to whatever your plan is, a great ball of sunshine to your rainy days, someone that you don’t want to be the one that got away. 

he does think the same, especially the fact that he treasures you so much and it became an opportunity to love you more when you spend that one night together somewhere, alone. it was an invitation actually and it made you realize a lot of things. 

it is the way he looked at those stars with those dazzling eyes of his. the constellation plastered on his cheeks glowed along with them, it is what they call freckles, you love them as much as how felix felt for you. having him as a getaway made you don’t want to come back, ever again.

seungmin ─── no control

night changes was the first choice but then no control became the one for him, no control, because he is, a menace. he believed that being in love was something that gullible people would do and get hurt, maybe a few of them proved it to be valid and worth it, yet he isn’t convinced because it is just a waste of time. 

and yet, you came out of nowhere. it is the way he looks at you with those dazzling puppy eyes, the way he obeys the things you wanted him to do, and it gets worse when you share intimate affections. from a gentle puppy to a wild wolf. there’s something about you that drives him crazy every time. 

nothing matters to him when you’re around and he never felt this way before. he’d kiss you out of nowhere when you reached home with your back against the wall as your hands played with his hair. he gets weak and powerless, but gets hyped and rough which you get caught off guard every time. 

and he is very loyal, he always makes sure that no other will ever meet his interest. you don’t want to share, anyway and you got him down bad.

jeongin ─── summer love

honorable mention: fool's gold.

loving jeongin is like a breath of fresh air, the freedom that he finally held in his hands, and the time he can make up for himself to be with you. it was a reckless summer that you spent in your grandma’s place, away from the bustling city and this boy showed up on your doorsteps. 

it didn’t take a while that you immediately had this puppy love type of interest in each other. you started sneaking out in the middle of the night when your grandma was in her deep sleep, swimming together by the river across the small town on a random afternoon, sharing a kiss under an oak tree that tasted like your grandma’s apple pie, it was great. you didn’t want it to end. 

and just like any other summer, it did. you didn’t know if you would still have this continuous conversation when the school year starts since jeongin is miles away from where you live. 

you saw him sitting on one of those branches of the oak tree where you kissed for the first time, and there you promised not to lose each other even if the summer ended. you couldn’t believe that what you did for less than two months was this serious. it was hard to say goodbye, yet you hoped nothing would change after the last summer’s sunset.

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[ashcal99]

Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale IV

Chapter Four

"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"

Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, violence, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn

Words: 7.4k

A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. Hope you enjoy. Made this chapter extra long for the wait x

Soundtrack

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

January 29th, 2005

Camila sat there, frozen in time, for what seemed like an eternity trying to process what Jasper had just admitted. So, Jasper sat there, unmoving as well as not breathing. He wasn’t sure how she was taking the new information and suddenly found himself wishing that he held Edward’s power in that moment, willing to give everything just to know the thoughts that were going through her mind. Second best, he knew that she, remarkably, held no fright towards the admission, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she lacked the simple instinct that humans should be born with. The instinct to run away screaming when someone tells you that they’re a monster and could easily kill you. 

At the end of the day, he knew that was what he was. A monster. He may have changed his diet and tried to appear human, but he was far from it. He had killed people. Innocent people. He couldn’t even make the argument that his family had done the same, because their body counts were minuscule compared to his. He had fed off of human blood for nearly eighty-five years before Alice had found him. Even with his new found vegetarianism considered, he still slipped up. More than anybody else, and even though he knew that Camila was safe around him, he also knew that she had every reason in the world to fear him, and it confused the hell out of him that she didn’t.

He couldn’t help himself as he spoke, the silence eating away at his resolve. “Can you please tell me what’s going through your mind?” He asked, nervousness gripping his throat as he croaked the words out. 

Camila’s eyes flashed over to him, eyebrows creased in… confusion maybe? “I don’t know… I feel like I know I shouldn’t believe you, but for some reason, I do?” She said, eyes tracing his serious expression. “Can you prove it? N-not the vampire thing, I guess, but something to prove any of it is true?” She asked. 

Jasper’s mind reeled for a moment trying to think of something quickly, when an idea popped into his head. “Remember how you said I’m really good at reading emotions? Like an empath?” He asked, waiting for her nod before continuing. “It’s a little more than that. Some of us, when we turn, we get… gifts. When I was changed I could not only feel people’s emotions like they were my own, but manipulate them too.” He explained slowly, trying to find the right words.

Given the situation, he figured this was his best bet in not freaking her out any further. Eyes scanning her face to make sure that she was okay with what he was about to do, he pushed a wave of happiness towards her. He watched as the corners of her lips curved upwards, the crease between her eyebrows smoothing as her heart filled with overwhelming joy. 

She didn’t know nor care why she had become so  suddenly happy, but as soon as the emotion was ripped back from her, the pieces clicked together. The smile slowly dropped from her face as her mind returned to where had been just moments before. “Holy shit.” She huffed out. He was telling the truth. As soon as the feeling of joy had hit her, it was gone. 

Her eyes widened suddenly. Maybe this was the explanation as to why she felt so strongly towards him. Maybe it was him all along, manipulating her feelings. “Y-you don’t do that to me often do you?” She asked nervously. 

Jasper shook his head quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “No. I’ve never with you before.” He rushed out, hoping to whatever god that she would believe him.

Letting out a sigh, Camila let her shoulders drop as she let herself relax back into her seat. She had no reason to think he was lying. From what she could tell, all of her feelings and emotions involving him were genuine, no matter how much she wished that they weren’t there to begin with.

“So, is the whole thing about garlic true?” She asked trying to lighten the mood. Everything had suddenly gotten much too daunting.

Throwing his head back with a bark of laughter, Jasper ran his long thin fingers through his golden curls. How in the world was she taking all of this so well? The ball had to drop at some point, right? There’s no way that everything would go this smoothly. Surely after she learned about his past and how much of a monster he really was, surely then, she would run away screaming. But that admission would have to wait for another day, because in that moment, he would give anything keep Camila as far away from that part of him as possible.

——————

January 31st, 2005

The rest of her day with Jasper had flown by, and before Camila knew it, it was the start to her second week at Forks High School. After the exhaustion of her first week, and hanging out with Jasper on Saturday, the rest of her weekend consisted of sleep and cramming in the remainder of her homework. When Monday finally came around, she was well rested, at lest as well rested as she could be. 

Camila had just joined the end of the line in the cafeteria, Eric talking her ear off behind her once again, when her eyes finally met Jasper’s across the crowded room. She hadn’t seen him since he had dropped her back off at home Saturday night. Like a perfect gentleman, he had waited, car pulled against the curb and watched her figure until she had successfully made it fully inside her home, before he drove away. 

Now that her eyes had met his for the first time since she had been given the opportunity to fully, well mostly maybe, process his confession, she felt a weight leave her shoulders that she wasn’t even aware was there in the first place. The rest of their night on Saturday had consisted mostly of more light hearted conversation, so now that she had been given the time to think of more questions to ask him, she had began to grow anxious of waiting. 

She knew the questions would have to wait, however, but seeing his face, that alone, eased that stress and anxiety from her. Everything had happened so quickly that her mind didn’t know how to calculate what his confession actually meant, and over the remainder of the weekend her mind had time to wander. He was dangerous, that much was apparent, but somehow, she also knew that he wouldn’t hurt her. That she was safe with him. 

It felt almost like a fever dream, everything happening so quickly. They had only just met, but suddenly, she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so comfortable with another person. So comfortable with being vulnerable, and content with sharing with him what she had been so keen on keeping from everyone else. Clearly he felt the same, that much she could gather herself, given his blatant honesty with her. 

Eric’s voice broke her from her thoughts as he continued his ramble on about how their trip to La Push Beach had gone and how she ‘had to join them next time’. She had to stop herself from cringing, not looking forward to coming up with another excuse in the future. She turned to him, attempting to give a reassuring smile. She didn’t want to come off rude, especially with the wide grin that was stretched across his face. He was just trying to be friendly, and that’s what she wanted. So, even if his persistence slightly annoyed her, she was still happy to have him around. 

Chills ran up her spine as icy fingertips brushed lightly across her lower back, bringing goosebumps quickly to the surface of her skin. She knew who it was, of course, before she looked up, having already gotten used to the feel of his touch, but that didn’t stop the flutter of her heart as her eyes met Jasper’s once more. He had sensed her unease from across the room and had decided to come to her rescue. 

“Will you sit with us for lunch today?” He asked, giving her a quirked eyebrow as well as a small smile. Alice had been pestering him since his return on Saturday to spend more time with the girl. As usual, she would get what she wanted, she already knew that of course, but that didn’t stop her from reminding him at every chance she got. 

Jasper watched as the gears in her head began to turn, slowly processing his invitation, her heart sputtering at his touch. He couldn’t help his smile from growing bigger across his face, enjoying hearing the reaction he had on her heart. “S-sure.” She stuttered out, turning back to the lunch lady to pay for her tray of food. She sent a small wave and smile to the boy, Eric, and fell in stride by Jasper’s side, his hand ghosting the small of her back as he lead her to the table that held the remainder of his family. 

Eric stood for a moment, mouth agape as he stared at their retreating figures. What was it with the new girls and the Cullens? Why was that family suddenly so sociable after a year of barely speaking to anybody? From across the cafeteria, the two were beginning to attract the stares from the rest of her friend group, and when she finally made it to the table, Jasper pulling her chair out for her to take a seat, the majority of the overcrowded room was practically ogling them. A fact, in which was doing nothing to ease the anxiety that had settled in the pit of her stomach.

Setting her tray down, she slowly dropped into the hard plastic seat, shoulders tensing as she took in the perfect faces sat in front of her. Camila had of course met Alice the week previous, but she had yet to meet Jasper’s other siblings. She wasn’t sure if she should feel more or less comfortable meeting the pale strangers now that she knew their secret, but the fact was, she knew and nothing would change that now. 

Feeling waves of anxiety and stress radiate from Camila, he decided now would be a time to use his powers, one that he hoped she wouldn’t be mad at him for later. He hated seeing the worry in her eyes and knew that her stress was unnecessary, so he did what he could and pushed feelings of calmness and comfortability towards her as he settled into the seat next to her. 

As the anxiety lifted from her shoulders, a polite smile formed on Camila’s lips. Jasper cleared his throat from beside her, gaining the attention of his siblings. “Camila this is my family.” He gestured towards the group. “Alice you met already.” He said pointing to the pixie haired girl on the other side of Camila.

The whole family already knew of his admission, and given the circumstances he was more that content with their reactions. He hadn’t exactly known what to expect from the situation, never having dealt with anything like it before. Carlisle and Esme had been happy for him, and though this slightly unnerved him, he knew it came with good intentions. He knew what coming clean to Camila could mean for her future, for their future, but he still refused to get his hopes up. Her knowing and having the choice to ‘live’ on had no guarantee that she would make that decision, and as much as it pained him, he knew that he would never be able to make that choice for her. 

Alice’s teeth shown brightly as she smiled at the girl, squealing lightly as she pulled her into a tight hug. Camila’s eyes widened, the immortal girl’s antics still surprising her despite already being on the receiving end previously. Before she was given the time to process and reciprocate the hug, Alice had pulled away and had returned to her comfortable position in her seat. 

Alice was of course ecstatic, even though she had seen the whole thing happen already, because now she was free to develop their friendship. She had seen the whole thing play out and knew just how close she would grow to Camila, and like a child on Christmas morning, was practically bouncing with anticipation when he had arrived home Saturday night. 

Jasper continued, stopping to roll his eyes at his sister. “This is Emmet and Rosalie.” He said, gesturing to the couple sitting at the opposite side of the table. Emmet gave a ginormous half smile half smirk to the girl, while Rosalie attempted the give a polite smile as well.

Emmet was of course laid back about the whole thing, only giving him a little bit of shit for finally finding his mate. Rosalie was surprisingly at ease with the situation, unlike her feelings towards Bella. Of course, Jasper knew why. She had always resented her immortality, having her humanity ripped away from her the way that it had been, and she wouldn’t wish that on anybody else. He knew her calm demeanor had to do with the fact that, unlike her human life, Camila had no chance of growing old. No chance of starting a family.

His heart ached at this knowledge, knowing that he would give anything he could to see Camila age into her beauty. To see her grow and start her adult life. To see her get married and have children, even if he wasn’t the one to give her that future. Unfortunately, maybe because God or whatever higher power was cruel or had a sick twisted sense of humor, she had no hope for that life. 

It had been an unexpected punch to the gut to meet her mother. She was such a perfect reflection of her daughter that it was almost like he was glimpsing into that impossible future. He knew that this would be how Camila would look, given the chance. But she didn’t have that chance, and that was his best guess as to why Rosalie had refrained from giving him the same shit she had been giving Edward. 

“And this is Edward.” Jasper said finally, turning to look at displeased expression of his adopted brother.

Edward had seemed slightly bitter about the situation. He obviously knew the differences between the two girls, but couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous at which the ease Jasper came by with telling Camila the truth. He himself would never wish the future of immortality onto Bella, but only wished that he didn’t have to suppress his want for the girl. He knew it was best to stay as far away from Bella as possible, hence why he had been avoiding her to the best of his abilities, but his resolve was beginning to waver. 

Jasper didn’t have to deal with any of this, despite having his own struggles. Camila already knew the truth about them, and soon she would be making that decision on her own. Hell, he didn’t even have to worry about his thirst around the girl, a fact that he couldn’t help but be bitter about. Edward had always had what he considered decent self control with human blood, something that he couldn’t say the same for with Jasper, and the one person that it truly mattered for, he was at his lowest point with self control. It was cruel irony. 

Despite not being able to read Edward’s mind like he could his, Jasper could feel his emotions, and he could fill in the rest himself. He didn’t want any animosity between him and his brother, but he knew that whatever Edward was feeling wouldn’t stop him from growing closer to Camila, and definitely wouldn’t stop Alice from begging him to let her spend more time with her. So that was why he had decided it was time to introduce her. What better time and place to break the ice between Camila and the rest of his family than the controlled environment of a school cafeteria? He had thought, and now, seeing the slight glare on Edward’s face, he couldn’t decide whether or not that had been a bad decision on his part.

As thoughts of anger rushed through Jasper’s mind, Edwards eyes flickered over to his. Edward’s glare softened as he processed Jasper’s internal dialog. He knew that it wasn’t his fault and he knew that it wasn’t Camila’s, but he couldn’t help how he felt. He was jealous and he was finding it difficult to hide his emotions. His eyes flitted across Jasper’s face, neck, and arms. The scars littered across his skin were a reminder to not push things with him. The crescents, nearly invisible to the human eye, were a gigantic red flag to any vampire. Neon lights that flashed bright as a warning to everyone around him to stay back or else. Although he knew that his brother would never hurt him, he also knew not to start a fight, because it would most definitely be one he would lose.

Huffing in irritation, Edward pulled out his chair, rushing to leave the cafeteria. He could try all he wanted to be civil and not start a fight, but he wasn’t about to sit there and take this torture. Over time it would get easier for him to cope, but in that moment, the wound was fresh and he needed to be far from the reminder. 

Jasper sighed in annoyance, rolling his eyes once again as he let his defenses fall back down to their normal level. “Ignore him.” He muttered to the girl beside him, slinging his arm protectively around the back of her chair.

——————

“So what’s with you and Cullen?” Tyler blurted out suddenly. Camila’s head fell to look at her boots that thudded along the hallway towards their last class of the day. She could feel the blood rushing up to her cheeks and knew that it would do little to help her case if he saw the growing blush. 

“What do you mean?” She asked, feigning confusion. It was a matter of time before someone started the inevitable conversation given Jasper’s display in the cafeteria that day, but she had hoped she would have a bit more time to prepare herself. 

Tyler stuffed his hands into his pockets awkwardly. “Yeah, you two seemed… cozy today at lunch.” He muttered.

Camila raised her head, quirking an eyebrow at the dark skinned boy in stride beside her. “Cozy?” She asked, a hint of humor tinting her voice. Tyler was clearly bothered by this whole situation, a fact that she found humorous given the circumstance. From the fact that Tyler had asked her to prom just a few days previous, she could gather herself that he was most likely jealous of Jasper. Not that he had any reason to be. Camila had every intention to stick to her plan of staying single and as much as she was beginning to care for Jasper, she didn’t see that changing.

A scoff sounded from the boy by her side as he rolled his eyes at her teasing. “Yeah. Cozy. You sat with his family at lunch instead of us, and he was practically all over you.” He argued. 

Camila laughed lightly at his words. “He was not all over me.” She argued. In fact, like usual, she had been hyper aware of every touch from the pale immortal. As usual, he had shown to be very hesitant in touching her, only giving the slight graze of his fingertips along her covered back as he lead her to the table. She of course was also extremely aware of the arm that he had slung protectively around the back of her seat after Edward’s whole display, but he had been very precise in not letting his cold skin actually touch her in any way.

Tyler groaned frustratedly. “Whatever it was, I don’t like it.” He complained.

Camila’s eyebrows knitted together. What was it with people at this school being assholes to them? The Cullen’s kept to themselves, sure, but they were never anything but polite to anyone they came into contact with. At this point, all these little comments that everybody kept making were beginning to piss her off. “And why should you not liking it mean anything to me?” She asked incredulously. Sure, she wanted to make friends, and be nice, but she was starting to become defensive over Jasper and she wasn’t just going to stand there and take everybody’s bullshit. Because that’s what it was. Complete and utter bullshit.

Tyler’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to respond in that way, never seeing her angry before. “I mean, he’s kind of creepy isn’t he? I’m just trying to look out for you. He doesn’t seem… good.” He said trailing off towards the end as he took in the expression of anger growing more and more prevalent on her face.

She had to bite back a snide remark as she tried to process how she could respond without sounding like a total bitch. An awkward silence rung between the two teens before she decided that she didn’t really care anymore. If he was going to give unsolicited advice to her when he barely knew her then she would respond accordingly. “No offense Tyler, but I didn’t ask for your shitty advice. I’m a big girl, I can look out for myself, thanks.” She said finitely.

Pushing her aching legs to move her forward at a faster pace, she let out an internal sigh of relief as the door to her calculous class came into view. Lunch had gone well, all things considered. Despite Edward’s little display, the rest of Jasper’s family had welcomed her with open arms. While the conversation mostly consisted of small talk and them asking her questions about herself, she could tell that they were all genuinely nice people. 

Alice had invited her over for the following weekend, in which Camila had immediately agreed to without thinking. Now that she had been given the time to think about the implications of the invite, she realized that she would be meeting their adoptive mother and seeing Carlisle. While she knew Carlisle fairly well, given meeting him the week prior, she realized how nervous she was to meet Esme. Jasper had talked the woman up so highly, but she couldn’t help but feel her nerves eating away at her. She would be meeting his mother soon, ‘adopted’ or not and it was only natural to have that kind of reaction. 

Jasper, as usual, was already seated at their assigned table by the time she had arrived to the classroom. Camila flitted to the back of the room to her seat, letting her body drop into the confines of the cool plastic, as she let out a heavy sigh. 

“Are you okay?” Jasper asked, concern lacing his voice. It was normal for her be exhausted by the end of the school day, but he could also feel her anger and frustration. The feelings set off warning bells in his mind and he was immediately on alert to what had upset her. 

Camila rolled her eyes, raking her slim fingers through the long dark strands of her hair. “Tyler Crowley is an asshole.” She said simply, annoyance still evident on her face as she recalled their conversation that had just taken place moments ago. 

His eyes flickered over to where said boy had just entered the classroom, narrowing as he took in the sight. “What did he say?” He asked, immediately defensive over the girl. 

“He apparently has an issue with you and ‘just wants to look out for me’.” She said, yanking her workbook and and pencil case from her backpack and slamming them down on the desk.

Jasper’s shoulder’s drooped at her words as he hummed in reply. He couldn’t even be mad. What Tyler said was clearly justified, whether or not Camila had realized. She should be warned about him. Just because he didn’t thirst for her blood didn’t mean that he wasn’t a danger towards her. Didn’t mean that he couldn’t hurt her, even if it wasn’t intensional. Didn’t mean that he wasn’t a monster at the end of the day.

Hearing his near silent response, Camila turned her head to see him looking down slightly defeated, eyes refusing to meet her own. “Jasper.” She said, trying and failing to get him to look at her. “Jasper.” She repeated, grasping at his hand  that laid in a tight fist at his thigh. 

Electricity shot through her fingers as they brushed the marble skin of his clenched knuckles, but she pushed on. “Can you look at me, please?” She asked, her soft voice contrasting the anger that had filled it just moments ago. 

His amber eyes flickered up to meet hers. As much as he wanted to sulk in that moment, he wanted more to give her what she wanted. Her eyes softened as she saw the pain that filled his. They were always filled with pain, but this was different. More of an inner torment and seeing it made her chest ache. 

She turned his fist over in her palm, nudging the fingers apart so she could intertwine them with her own. “He’s full of shit, Jazz. I know you would never hurt me.” She said, voice softly ringing in his ears. 

The pain in his heart grew at her words. He didn’t deserve her. She was too perfect for his damned self and he knew it, but that didn’t stop him from being grateful that she was there. It didn’t stop him from selfishly wanting her. He pulled their intertwined fingers up to his lips were he laid a soft kiss on the back of her palm, thanking her for her kindness. Thanking her for her comfort. 

The touch of his chilled lips on her skin sent her heart into overdrive, and knowing that he could he hear his effect on her didn’t help the blush that was creeping onto her cheeks. She had expected him to drop her hold after that, but instead, their hands remained, bound together and laying gently in his lap. 

Class continued, the two working together on finishing the next page in their worksheet. Jasper of course could finish the work in less than a minute, but anything that gave him the excuse to talk to Camila he would gladly do. She sat there, eyebrows furrowed as she worked over a particularly difficult problem on the sheet. Normally, she would have no problem solving the equations, but today her mind was wandering too much. She sighed, giving up as she let her pencil clatter onto the chipped veneer of the desk.

“Do you want to come over to my house today?” She asked suddenly. Clearly seeing that she had caught him off guard, she continued. “I have more questions.” She clarified. 

Jasper groaned internally. As much as he would love to avoid the inevitable conversation, he also knew that it had to happen at some point. At least he would get to spend more time with her, a definite plus. “Sure, I can just drive us after class if you’d like.” He offered. Alice had told him to drive separately to school that day, and now it was clear why. He would have to thank her later. 

Camila nodded, pulling her flip phone from her bag and trying to discreetly type a quick text to her mother letting her know that Jasper would drive her home. Doing so was a bit difficult to do one handed, but she wasn’t about to take her other hand out of his grasp. 

The remainder of the class trudged on slowly to Camila’s dismay. Now that she knew that she would be able to ask all of the questions that had been racing through her mind, she couldn’t seem to clear her head of them. Finally, a bell rang shrilly throughout the class, signaling the end of the school day. An unspoken agreement stood between her and Jasper as they both proceeded to pack away their belongings without undoing the grip on each other’s hands. 

She wasn’t sure what the hand holding meant to him or even herself, but she didn’t exactly care. She already had to constantly remind herself of her promise to keep any romance at bay, but hand holding didn’t necessarily have to mean that. It was comforting, having his cold palm pressed against hers, and despite her internal screaming at herself that it was a bad idea, she didn’t want to pull away. So there they were, walking down the hallway, hand in hand, attracting even more stares than usual. 

Camila let out a sigh as they reached the parking lot, the cool air feeling nice on her feverish skin. Puffs of vapor swirled in front of her mouth as steady breaths of hot air left her parted lips. Jasper had to rip his eyes away from the sight to make sure that he was walking in the right direction. He needed to pull his shit together. Kissing her hand had been bad enough, but he had to stop himself from thinking too much about her lips. Her soft warm plump lips. Jesus Christ, STOP. 

He wished so badly in that moment that he could’ve kissed her. Regardless of the numerous bystanders. However, he knew that it wasn’t safe. He didn’t trust himself enough not to end up accidentally hurting her. He didn’t even know if she would’ve kissed him back for fuck’s sake. And here he was feeling like an absolute creep again. 

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he pulled the passenger door of his car open for her. Reluctantly, she let loose of his grasp, immediately feeling an emptiness without it’s presence. She settled into the plush bucket seat, pulling her bag into her lap as he shut the door softly behind her. 

Flitting quickly, or as quick as seemed human, to the driver’s side, Jasper slid in and turned the key in the ignition. Shifting the car into reverse, he backed out of the parking spot and shifted back into drive as he sped out onto the street. He internally thanked his past self for buying a manual transmission before reaching over to grasp Camila’s hand once more. 

Camila let her hair fall in front of her face, hoping that the curtain of dark strands hid the smile that she couldn’t wipe away. For someone who was so adamant on not dating, she kept finding herself being giddy whenever he touched her. What was she a twelve year-old? He was just holding her hand, she shouldn’t feel like a swarm of butterflies was flying around in her stomach. 

The drive to Camila’s home hadn’t taken long, and by the time they arrived at the small house, he mother’s mini van was still absent from the driveway. She had replied earlier letting her know that she was going to go grocery shopping since she had time before she had to go to work, and Camila was happy to see that she hadn’t returned yet. One less awkward interaction with Jasper and her parents would always be a good thing. 

As they stepped through the threshold of the home, she found herself wishing she had cleaned her room. She hadn’t thought of the mess she had left behind before she had invited him over, albeit a small mess. Either way, she couldn’t help herself but try and hurriedly pick up the few pieces of clothing scattered around the room once they made it through the doorway. 

Once she was content with her ‘cleaning’ she shut the door softly behind her and plopped down on her mattress, the springs squeaking slightly in protest. Scooting backwards until her back met the wall, she patted the empty space beside her, gesturing for Jasper to join her. On one hand, she almost wanted to sit out on the couch in the living room, as it would probably seem less intimate that way, but she also didn’t want to be interrupted by her mother when she inevitably returned home from the store. So there they were sitting side by side awkwardly on her worn out used mattress and now she didn’t know how to start the conversation. 

Sensing her hesitation, Jasper spoke up. “So, you have questions.” He said, wanting to end the torture of waiting any longer. If she was going to run away screaming, he would rather it be sooner than later, because the anticipation was slowly eating away at him. 

Camila sucked in a breath. “How old are you?” She blurted out. Jasper groaned, rubbing his hands down his face. He should’ve expected her to jump right to the point, but, somehow, he hadn’t. “You said it was a conversation for another day. It’s another day now.” She reasoned.

“I know. I know.” He said with a sigh. “I’m just really old, Darlin’.” He said, hoping the nickname would distract her. It didn’t.

She scoffed. “That’s not an answer.” She said bluntly. 

Jasper closed his eyes, sucking in a breath as he braced for the impact of her reaction. “I’m a hundred and sixty-one.” He muttered lowly. Utter silence followed. 

Camila didn’t know what she expected, if the age he had given was younger or older than she had thought it would be, but hearing him say such a precise age made everything seem way more real. She couldn’t find the words to say in response, so instead, she reached over to grasp his hand once more, letting him know that she wasn’t disgusted like he had thought. 

“Will you tell me your story?” She asked, not being able to help her intrigue.

His bright gold eyes met her emerald irises. “It’s kind of gruesome.” He warned, trying his best to prolong the inevitable admission of his past, but knowing that it was just that. Inevitable.

“I want to know.” She said simply. “If you’re willing to tell me.” She clarified. 

Jasper was fucked and he knew it. Anything that she wanted, he would give her in a heartbeat, but she would hate him after this. “I didn't have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings.” He said, reaching his free hand over reluctantly, to roll up the sleeve on the arm that she held. 

She wasn’t sure how she hadn’t noticed them before, but there they were. Hundreds of crescent shaped scars shimmering lightly in the dim lighting emitted from her ceiling fan. Now that she knew what to look for, she could see the scars were scattered across every piece of visible skin. Down his arms, onto the hand that was holding hers, a few up his neck to his handsome face. “Are those… bites?” She asked incredulously.

“Battle scars.” He responded, a small smirk gracing his lips. “I was seventeen when I joined the Confederate Army.” He said, pausing when he saw her grimace. “I know. I wish I could say that I didn’t know what I was fighting for, or against, but I knew enough. I’m not proud of it.” He said hanging is head in shame. 

“I was the youngest major in the Texas cavalry. All without having seen any real battle.” He continued.

Camila perked up. “I knew that was a Texas accent.” She said smirking at him, gaining a small smile in repose. Leave it to her to try and lighten the mood as soon as it gets dark.

Still, he pushed on, knowing that it was about to become a much darker conversation. “I was riding back to Galveston...after evacuating a column of women and children. When I saw her.” He said dauntingly. “I immediately offered her my aid.” He continued.

“Maria was creating an army. A newborn vampire army.” He clarified. “Our kind are at their strongest in their first year after changing. Their human blood still lingers in their veins and gives them more speed and strength.” He explained.

“Newborn armies were very common in the South, and cost a brutal battles for territory.” He continued, losing himself in the story. “Maria won them all. She was smart, careful. And she had me. I was the second in command. My abilities to control emotions served her well.” He said, looking down to the warm hand he still had clutched in his own, trying to find comfort in her touch. 

“I trained her newborns. An endless occupation since she never let them live beyond their first year.” He said, cringing from the memory. “It was my job to dispose of them.” He said, voice thick with emotion. It pained him to remember what he had done. To remember their pain. “I could feel everything they felt.”

The crease between Camila’s brows deepened. It clearly hurt for him to recall these memories, and she found herself wishing that she could take that pain away. 

“I thought what Maria and I had was love. But I was her puppet. She pulled the strings. I didn't know there was another way. Until I found Alice in 1948. Now she'd seen me coming, of course.” He paused, remembering that this would wouldn’t make much sense to Camila. 

He gathered his thoughts quickly, trying explain the best he could. “She has visions, of possible futures. They change when decisions are made, but she knew when and where to find me.” He smiled slightly. “She saw you, even though she conveniently didn’t warn me.” He explained.

“I don't know what I'd have become without her. I’d done horrible, unspeakable things, and she helped me get past that. My family choses to feed off of animal blood rather than human blood, but it wasn’t always like that for me. I’ve killed innocent people. I’m not a… good person.” He ended his story with a sigh, unsure of how she was feeling. 

Her mind was filled with conflicting emotions that he couldn’t quite place all together. “I completely understand if you want me to leave.” He said, moving to pull his hand away from hers. 

Her grip tightened as her eyes shot up to his. “No, stay. Please.” She muttered. She knew how her reaction must seem. In truth, she had almost expected worse. As bad as his story was, at least he didn’t actively kill people. It was a horrible argument, she knew, but after being given the rest of the weekend to let her mind wander, she had tried to prepare herself for the worst. 

Her silence was agony and he couldn’t help himself when he asked. “Can you please tell me what you’re thinking?”

Camila sighed, bringing her eyes back to his. “I’m not going to sit here and act like what you did wasn’t wrong, because it was. But I’m also not going to actively try and make you feel any worse for it. You’ve had over fifty years to regret what you did, and you clearly do. I’m not going to judge you for something that you wish you could’ve changed, not when I know you’re a good person now.” She said. 

Jasper shook his head in disbelief. How was she this forgiving? It seemed impossible. He was sure she would be disgusted with him, but here she was forgiving him for something he couldn’t even forgive himself for. “How are you not terrified of me?” He asked.

She looked deep into his eyes as she answered. “I’m not scared because I know you won’t do anything to hurt me.” She said simply.

“I could hurt you on accident. Very easily.” He argued, looking ashamed. “I could crush you just by hugging you too tightly. I know you don’t understand fully, but it would be so easy that I actively have to try and not hurt you.” He said, a deep frown on his face.

Camila’s eyebrows furrowed as she brought her free hand down to trace the crescent shaped scars that littered his arm. “I don’t know what to tell you. I trust you, that’s the best answer I can give you, Jasper. You need to try and have trust in yourself.” She answered.

Jasper shook his head, baffled that she had so much trust in him to begin with. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her. Seeing the sadness still in his eyes, she rushed, trying to find a change of topic to lighten the mood from the darkness that it had reached. “So, if you can manipulate emotions and Alice sees visions of the future, does anyone else in your family have a ‘gift’.” She asked, curiosity peaking once again. 

Jasper was thankful for the change of topic, already feeling himself beginning to spiral from the continuous self hatred. “Yeah, Edward is the only other one in our family. He can, um, read minds… I know it sounds ridiculous.” He said, slightly humiliated at how fictional everything sounded. 

“Oh god. That’s… embarrassing.” She muttered, her mind beginning to wander. Edward had no doubt read her mind and heard her thoughts of Jasper. Those were thoughts she didn’t even want to admit to herself and now he definitely had knew all about them. 

Suddenly her mind went to his exit at lunch. Was that why he had left? Was it something she had thought that had set him off? “What happened with him at lunch today?” She asked.

Rolling his eyes at the memory, Jasper tried to form the most comprehensible explanation. “He’s jealous that I can tell you the truth and he can’t tell Bella.” He said simply. 

“Bella Swan?” Camila asked.

Jasper nodded. “He… has a particular interest in her. He’s been trying to avoid her because he knows that it won’t end well, and he’s jealous that I don’t have to do the same with you.” He explained. 

“Why is it different with me?” She asked, trying to ignore the implication that Jasper had an interest in her.

His eyes trailed across the bare walls of her bedroom, looking anywhere but at her as he continued. “He has a really hard time with the scent of her blood, while yours is different for me.” He said.

“Because of the leukemia?” She asked.

Jasper nodded again. “It’s more dangerous for her than it is for you because of that. It’s hard for him to even be in the same room as her. Either way it would end badly.” He explained.

“End badly how? Surely it could end in more ways than just him killing her right?” She asked. She knew the subject had to be touchy and sensitive, but she couldn’t keep herself from asking.

Here it was. The scariest topic of them all. If he didn’t handle this just right, if he didn’t use the right words, then there went his chance of a future with her. He gulped, mustering the courage to speak. “He could kill her or he could change her. Both which he doesn’t want to do.” 

Camila’s eyed widened. She hadn’t even thought of that. Changing into a vampire. She wasn’t sure why her mind hadn’t gone there, but she hadn’t even considered that a possibility. She couldn’t help it when her mind wandered to what this could mean for her. He had said it like he was trying to imply something else entirely. He had to know the possible endings. Surely Alice had seen. 

“Are there more possible endings for me? Futures where I don’t die from the leukemia?” She asked. She had to know. She had spent a year coming to terms with the fact that her life would be cut short, but now she wasn’t sure. She knew that her illness would in no doubt end up taking her human life, but what if she turned. What if she changed into something else where the cancer didn’t effect her anymore? What if she wasn’t human anymore? She had to know, because suddenly, after a year of withering away, she might have another option. She might have hope.

Jasper turned his eyes back to hers. This was the make it or break it moment. He sucked in a breath, feeling a tightness in his chest regardless of the fact that he didn’t need the oxygen. 

And he spoke. “Yes… Alice has seen it."

Next Chapter

Tag List:

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[loversj0y]

our young nation

wilbur soot x gn! reader (note: pronouns are gn but reader is afab)

TWs: WAR, DEPICTIONS OF WOUNDS, BIRTH, PREGNANCY, ONE LINE ABT PERIODS, TALKS OF ILLNESS, MENTIONS OF DYING, SEMI-REALISTIC APPROACH TO WAR

word count: 10.7k

note: this has not been edited at all. i dont know a lot about war, but i do know hamilton and mockingjay, so. theres that. there's a playlist for this fic as well if you want to listen to what i listened to (also if this formats weirdly lmk and ill post it on ao3). have fun reading :) title is taken from dear theodosia from hamilton fic playlist

taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng / @core-queen / @zooone / @melunnek

Doing new things was never easy. There were always some hiccups, some strifes, some things that just kept new things from working out just as perfectly as you’d hoped. Not all these hiccups were bad per se, but they were there. Occam’s razor be damned, sometimes things are harder than they are easier. 

Those hiccups might be the death of one Wilbur Soot. Mostly because, in this case, the things occurring lean far more toward the “strife” category than the “hiccup” category. 

Literally. 

The newness of his formed country was refreshing, L’Manburg was already growing to become a beautiful nation, just from the camaraderie seen within its walls. But the beauty of their forming country was contrasted by the growing issues of war and hardships afflicting his citizens. 

So yes, war was hard. New things were hard, but they were often necessary and they often brought new, better things. 

And then, of course, there was the flickering candle light in the middle of the destitute tunnel that categorized war: Love. 

You weren’t originally planning to be involved in the war at all. When Wilbur had come to your door, asking about volunteering for the war, you’d politely turned him down. You made it very clear how much you supported the war efforts, and how, though you couldn’t fight, you’d be willing to help out the war efforts in any way you could. 

Wilbur gave you a charming smile and let you know that your support was greatly appreciated. 

Which was how you became his aid. For the leader of the rebellion, he was rather disorganized, in a literal sense, seen in the numerous papers and half-finished rations littering his desk, as well as a figurative sense, with the desk becoming a mirror image of his own mind. You helped clear the scatter, in both senses. When he’d pass out writing his pages and pages on new injustices committed by the Greater SMP, you’d be there to save his place and clear the desk. 

Eventually, you were able to do far more than just clear the desk; you were able to clear his mind. 

It started in conversations, when he’d ask questions aloud to himself without realizing you were in the room. 

“… and the infractions pushed upon us by the members of the Greater SMP have found my people destitute, destroyed, and… deprived? No, not deprived-“

“Disregarded?” You spoke up from your place standing next to him, where you’d been carefully sorting through old unfinished drafts of his own works. 

“Disregarded?” He looked up at you, giving you a flash of a smile, “Do you feel disregarded by the Greater SMP, Y/N?” 

You flushed a bit under his gaze. You hadn’t actually meant to offer the word, but it had slipped out before you could stop it, “Yes.”

His smile underwent a simple change, one you’d noticed after observing his speeches and public appearances. His smile went from congressional — purely political and for show — to harboring a sense of community. It was the smile he used when he asked for volunteers. It was the smile he used when he asked people for their grievances. It was the smile he used when he listened to his citizens. It was a smile that could make you feel safe, make you feel heard. “How so? In what ways do you feel disregarded by the Greater SMP, Y/N?” He asked. It was subtle, the way he tried to say people’s names as often as possible when he spoke to them. There was something in it you recognized; a urge to get the person on your good side and the need to be liked. 

You honestly couldn’t place the words that escaped you next. You had never been particularly political, but there was something about Wilbur Soot that demanded elegance and intelligence, and you felt yourself falling into line with easy compliance. 

“Well, I feel disregarded in the way they command us. They have hurt our people numerous times without giving a second thought, yet they praise kindness and claim to want a peaceful end to this fighting. I feel disregarded in the fact that they claim to understand us, yet they have never spoken to me, let alone the majority of our citizens. I feel disregarded because they don’t even know my name, yet they have burned down my land. I feel disregarded because they refuse to listen to our grievances,” you took a breath as you continued, setting down the pages you’d been shuffling through. “I feel disregarded because even before the war, they did not respect us. I feel disregarded in the ways that they would bring us into their conflicts while they sat there. And most of all, I feel disregarded in the ways they have hurt my people without a care in the world, as if our lives do not matter.”

There was a moment of silence when you’d finished, and you looked back to see the leader of the rebellion giving you a look that you had never seen before upon his face: adoration. His smile fell into something softer, one that you’d seen only in short bursts, reserved for quiet moments Wilbur shared with himself in dark nights alone when he’d finished a piece he was proud of. 

“Well, then,” he smiled at you genuinely, and it was the most gorgeous thing you’d ever seen. “Disregarded, it is.”

From there, you went from being his aid to his advisor, helping him hone his perfectly crafted speeches. You helped clear his mind. His air of regality as leader of the rebellion kept people from feeling comfortable reaching him, yet you shared none of that sense of bravado. You didn’t want to. People came to you, told you about how they felt as citizens, and it was the biggest help to Wilbur, who no longer felt like he was grasping at straws to make sure his citizens were being heard. 

Throughout it all, the best thing you offered Wilbur was not your mind, but rather your company. 

There were a lot of long nights that Wilbur was used to braving alone, and yet now, you were there to provide him companionship and cure the thoughts that plagued his mind about the future of the war. Wilbur loved watching your mind work on these nights. He would throw up a question into the air, something simple and philosophical, and he would watch as you’d chip away at the question and his subsequent arguments to your own positions. In any other case, it’d have been annoying, but for the both of you, it was akin to mental exercises, a game the two of you shared to keep sharp. It made for a kind distraction over the sounds of silence that plagued empty battlefields still wet with blood. 

These nights were also some of the only nights you’d be able to get Wilbur to take care of himself. Usually, it was after a glass of wine softened him up enough for you to convince him to finish his rations. He had a habit of leaving half, just in case someone else needed something, and he’d been hungrier before so he was sure he could brave it. These were the nights when he’d finally let his wounds show. 

Every battle, regardless of how bad off he was, he would hide any wounds that he couldn’t personally classify as fatal. And he would continue hiding them until they faded, though they never fully did. He always cared so much about appearances, how he needed to look pristine and confident to keep morales high. 

But he didn’t care about that with you. With you, he cared about wit and vulnerability, despite the two having always fallen on opposite doorsteps in his persona. So he’d take off his uniform, leaving him in a simple white undershirt and the slightly baggy black pants he wore underneath. It was the biggest form of physical vulnerability he’d allowed himself in years, and you never overstepped. You’d ignore the bruises and scars littering his arms and faintly poking out from the collar of his undershirt. 

But veiled ignorance could only last so long, and your own care for the man overtook any sense of social conventions. 

“Wilbur,” you looked at him abruptly. You’d been sharing a bottle of wine like you often ended up doing these nights that neither of you could sleep. With each sip, you feel your mind grow anxious at what you’d noticed. Right when he’d taken this uniform shirt off, you quickly noticed the slash in his bicep, crusted with blood and dirt. And while you planned to ignore it like usual, usually he’d at least have cleaned the wound before, and you couldn’t ignore how clearly unattended this wound was. “Did you visit the medic after today’s battle?” 

Wilbur snorted into his glass of wine as he took another sip, “No. No, I did not.” 

“Why?” 

“Because,” he started simply, “they had far more pressing matters.” 

You didn’t see the battles. You’d be on the sidelines, with prepared speeches for Wilbur to give in case of any major developments. You always had to be ready, but it came at the consequence of never knowing what truly happened on the battlefield. Wilbur never liked to recount it either, only sharing essential information to save you from hearing about the ways your people were injured. 

But tonight, you wanted to know. His safety was something that concerned you, and if it was so bad that he would threaten his safety, you needed to know. “What was it like today?” You asked quietly, standing as you spoke. 

He watched you as you flitted around the room, pacing the floorboards languidly. “I told you. We lost, but we were able to leave a-“

“No, I know what you told me. ‘The battle was lost, but there were effects put into motion that will be able to help us in the long run.’ I know that. I meant- the- the other stuff, those ‘more pressing matters’ that the nurses had. Stuff like that.” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the word ‘casualties’ so casually, as if it was not one of your neighbor’s lives your were pushing into a single word. 

He frowned, “I don’t- I really don’t think-“

“Tell me, Wilbur. I need to know.” 

Wilbur sighed slowly, nodding, “Everyone was injured. Some of us less so than others. It… it was Eret. Eret betrayed us, so they knew where we were, they knew we’d be unprepared. It’s better that it’s now, so early in the war, that the traitor is gone now, but… it was at a heavy expense. All of my friends, the ones I dragged into this, they- some of them are still there, in the infirmary. Tubbo nearly died. He-“ Wilbur took in a breath, shuddering, “They said he’ll be okay, but if he was hit any higher, they would’ve punctured his rib, and we would’ve lost him. And- I- We almost lost my brother. Tommy, he-“ there were tears in Wilbur’s eyes as he recounted it, “he took a knife straight to the shoulder. For me. He pushed me out of the way. And it was so close, if he’d been a second earlier, it would’ve gone through his heart.” Wilbur was crying now. It was the first time you’d seen him this vulnerable, this affected by what he’d seen. The horrors that plagued his vision every time he’d close his eyes, yet he closes his eyes now, as he speaks, as if he would find some epiphany lying behind them and not the images of his brother and his brother’s best friend clinging to life. 

“I- I couldn’t visit the medic after that. For this?” He gestured to the slash on his arm, “It felt unworthy of their attention when so many had nearly lost it all.” 

He was still crying, his eyes pressed tightly together as if doing so would click some button to erase the memories of what he’d seen on the battlefield. You moved forward, pressing his head into your stomach and wrapping your arms around him gently. He cried against you, soft and shuddering as if his body was still afraid to acknowledge or speak about what he’d seen. 

“I- I watched someone die. Someone on our side, I-“ he sobbed softly, “I held him as his breathing faded. His last words, he-“ Wilbur buried his face further against you, “He told me ‘Wilbur, make it worth it. If this is it for me, do not let it be in vain. Free our country and win.’” Wilbur panted quietly as he let the final words of a fellow solider fade into the quiet of the night. “I just- I can’t let him down. I let a man die for my cause. His blood is on my hands. And Y/N… it doesn’t look good right now. I know I said Eret’s betrayal is good for the future since the traitor is gone, but I- I don’t know what he knows. He could guide them back here tomorrow and slaughter us all in our sleep. So I- I don’t know what to do. I can’t let our people down, they- they didn’t ask for this. I keep- I keep wondering if I just should’ve kept quiet. If we could’ve been happy just living under SMP’s rule.” His admission did not escape him easily, echos of gasping sobs filling the room as he clung onto the fabric of your shirt. Neither of you spoke at first, letting his tears slow to a near stop in order to help him preserve the fragility of his mind. 

“Wilbur,” you spoke softly once you felt the moment was right, “No one was happy before. You cannot fault yourself for giving us a chance. I know you feel responsible for the bloodshed, and I know how it makes you feel like you’re clinging onto some shadow of death that follows you. But if you were the only one who wanted freedom for our country, there would be no rebellion. You’d just be another man standing on the end of a street, searching for someone to listen to you. We support this cause because we not only believe in the importance of our freedom, but because we believe in you, Wilbur. We cannot have our leader be made a martyr because where would that leave us? This cause would fall apart without you. And I know you are afraid, but we are all afraid. You are allowed to be afraid of uncertainty. Your people are putting their lives on the line’s because the believe the end, even their ends, will justify the means. You cannot consider falling back onto your fears now. I’m so sorry for what you saw. I know how horrifying it must’ve been. But that man let you hold him as he died, you brought him comfort in those final moments because you promised a better future for his family, his people. You have inspired people, Wilbur. You inspired me. You took a single thought, an idea, and you turned it into something real, something tangible, a cause that we not only believe in, but one that we fight for, and we will continue to fight for.” You let out a soft sigh, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the crown of his head, “Wilbur, I know you feel like the world is crumbling around you because of how scary everything is right now. But you are not alone. If your world is crumbling, it is crumbling for me too?” you sighed once more, “this is all just a long winded way for me to ask, Wilbur, please, will you let me patch your wound?” 

He didn’t reply to any specific part of your response, just giving a curt nod and lowering his arms. You both knew that you didn’t just mean the wound on his arm, but that you were attempting to reach out and help him patch the rifts in his mind. 

You grabbed the spare first aid kit, returning to your place in front of him as you set down the kit.

“It’s really not that bad,” he sighed, and you rolled your eyes.

“Wilbur, I have always trusted your judgement for everything, but I think we have finally found the exception,” you chuckled softly, gently taking his arm in your hands to inspect the wound. It definitely wasn’t a pretty sight, but it could certainly be worse.

“Really? This marks the exception? Not the hundreds of times I’ve asked you if something sounds right or if people would agree with something I’ve said?”

You nodded, taking a cotton ball and soaking it in alcohol, “Yep, this is it. Uncertainty is not having bad judgement, it’s just the acknowledgement that you can’t do things alone. Which is true, none of us can.” You smiled lightly, pressing the cotton to his arm to clean the wound. 

He hissed softly in pain as you cleaned the wound, speaking only once you’d finished, “I can’t,” he spoke quietly. “I can’t do things alone. I’m very grateful to have you.”

You felt a flush rise to your cheeks as you reached for a salve to spread onto his wound. “I’m grateful as well. You keep me stable with all this craziness going on.” 

He watched as you opened the salve, getting a generous amount onto your fingers to lightly spread over the slash, “I can say the same. I would’ve fallen into disarray by now without you.” 

Your flush darkened, and you started to wrap his arm quietly. You didn’t speak until you’d finished wrapping his arm completely. 

“There,” you spoke softly, tying off the bandage, “Now, you won’t get an infection and fall ill. Goodness knows we don’t have the medicine for preventable illness anyways,” you chuckled, trying to make light of things.

Wilbur smiled as well, but he seemed a bit further in thought. You grabbed the kit once more and went to return it to its place, but Wilbur’s hand wrapped lightly around your wrist and kept you from turning. 

“Wilbur?” you asked softly.

“I-” he had a flush on his cheek, and there was a beat of waiting before he finally looked up at you. He had a look filled with adoration and appreciation. But there was something else in his gaze, something softer. More warm. Something you would come to know as love. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked softly, his thumb lightly caressing where it rested on your wrist. 

You had to refrain from gaping at him as you processed his question. You had always found the rebel attractive, but you’d never considered the legitimacy of pursuing a relationship with a man who seemed far out of your league. With bated breath you nodded, and he leaned up to pull you into him.

The kiss felt far more gentle than it should have. For all the desperation and wanting that lived within it, the kiss was soft and slow, familiarizing one another with each crack in our lips. It didn’t develop further, there was no rapid increasing of intensity, the kiss remained as gentle as the glow from the candles around the room until you pulled away slowly. 

You both stared at one another for a long moment, attempting to memorize each freckle and blemish that adored war-torn faces. He was the one to speak up first.

“Y/N? Would you stay with me? Just for tonight?” 

You nodded your agreement, and you both shared a mutual understanding in the lie he allowed spill from his lips.

As the war continued, you found yourself making a permanent residence in Wilbur’s bed and home. The war was taking longer than anyone expected, a double-edged sword in the how our troops still lived, yet so did Greater SMP’s. Morale was low for everyone, but you kept your spirits high in fire-warmed rooms in Wilbur’s arms. 

“Do you think our people need something to boost their spirits?” He’d asked one day, your head resting on his chest and a hand loosely playing with your hair.

“Hm,” you thought, looking up at him, “I think it would be good, yeah. What are you thinking? A festival?”

He hummed, and as you inspected his face, you noticed the nerves lining his expression. It wasn’t an uncommon sight these days, his worries about the war leeching into every moment of the day. But usually, the anxiousness was far more faded by this time of night, even if it never fully left his gaze. 

“Not a festival,” he spoke, shifting and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small black box, speaking softer, “I was thinking a wedding.”

You sat up, gasping softly, “Will-”

“I was going to wait until after the war,” he spoke, sitting up across from you. “But I’m terrified that I won’t get to. I’d rather die knowing you were mine than knowing I never got to at least ask you.”

“Wilbur,” you grabbed onto both of his cheeks, pulling him into a deep and loving kiss. You understood where his fears came from, and you would be lying if you didn’t admit that you shared in the same sentiment. Every day that the troops returned, your heart waited to beat in fear until you saw his face. You didn’t want to wait either. 

You pulled away, wrapping arms tightly around his neck as you rested your forehead against his. 

“Is that a yes, then?” He asked, a grin ghosting over his lips.

You laughed, holding onto him tighter, “Yes, Wilbur, absolutely.” 

He laughed as well, his arms coming to wrap tightly around you. He kissed the side of your head as he spoke, “We- it probably won’t get to be a big wedding because we’re so low on resources, but if you want something big, we can absolutely have a second ceremony after, and-”

“Wilbur, our wedding could be in a mud field in our pajamas with a chicken, and I would still be satisfied. All that matters to me is being able to call you mine forever.”

He gave you a grin like you hung the stars in the sky before pulling you in for a loving kiss and putting a small ring onto your finger.

The wedding planning went over quickly. You weren’t planning anything fancy whatsoever, but it still needed to be enough of an event for your people to have time to relax. Everyone wanted to help out as well. Once you woke up the next morning after Wilbur’s proposal, it seemed as if the whole country knew already, with people coming to congratulate you and Wilbur as you both walked through town. Just the sense of community in everyone’s offering to help out with the wedding seemed to brighten everyone throughout the country. 

You and Wilbur actually had two ceremonies. The first one was for the two of you and your families, a small dinner and ceremony to allow you to have an intimate and private wedding. It was gorgeous, and so incredibly worth it. The second one was the ceremony for the people. It wasn’t a lavish affair, though your wedding attire was some of the most beautiful things either of you had seen in months. It was a subdued wedding, but it was making the most out of what you had. Lots of fresh cut flowers from the countryside, Niki baked a cake, and a real, full meal made for everyone. 

You felt tense in your fancy wedding outfit. Even if it wasn’t the height of luxury, it felt more stiff than anything else you’d worn in months. But there was a point to all of it. It was an event, something for people to care about. Something to get on their minds instead of residual fear about the next battle. You were glad for private affair you’d been able to have the night before, because this felt more like playing the role of the Leader’s Partner rather than actually being his partner. 

“Hey,” you heard softly from behind you, turning as you watched Wilbur sneak in. He paused when he saw you, staring in awe.  “You look so lovely,” he smiled, walking over to you and taking your hands in his.

“I could say the same about you,” you smiled, pulling him forward for a short kiss. “You ready to get betrothed a second time?”

He laughed, holding you a bit closer, “I am. I’d marry you every day if I could.”

You smiled shyly up at him, moving to wrap your arms around him and hug him tightly, “I love you so much.”

He kissed the top of your head, smiling, “I love you too, darling.”

You sighed and relaxed into the hug, letting your eyes slip shut. You moved your hands down to his sides, frowning when you felt a small box in his pocket. 

“Wilbur,” you started, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small box of cigarettes, “What are you doing with these?”

He frowned, a shameful look on his face, “I haven’t smoked any, don’t worry. I’m just- I’m anxious, so I got them in case.”

You nodded, biting your lip with a frown, “If you’re anxious, you know you can come to me.”

“I know, I know, I just-” he sighed, “I’m anxious about you, is the thing.”

You frowned, setting the cigarettes down on the table behind you, “What do you mean?”

He sighed, sitting down on a small stool across from you, “I’m nervous that when word travels about the marriage, they’ll look down on the legitimacy of our country. I think it’s good, I think they’ll think we’re less concerned than we really are, however… I’m worried I’m placing a target on your back.” 

You nodded softly, “Wilbur, I’ve had a target on my back since I chose to stand with our country,” you moved forward, giving him a gentle kiss, “I understand the concern, and I know the risks. But I’m not letting those risks outweigh the joy of being married to you. If they go for me, I can handle it. I know I’m not much of a fighter, but I can hold my own. Plus, they won’t kill me. If I’m valuable to you, they wouldn’t dare.”

He took your hand in his again, squeezing it gently, “thank you, darling,” he sighed, holding you close. “I won’t let them take you anyways. You’re too precious to me.”

You chuckled softly, lightly pressing your forehead against his. “Let’s go get married, then. The best fuck you we can give them is our love.”

He grinned and chuckled, nodding softly, “Let’s go get married.”

The wedding was a bright affair. The actual marriage part was quick and sweet, vows that you had both prepared together, nothing as genuine as the words spoken the night before. It was sweet regardless, promises of loving each other in the darkest of times that rang true in an audience of war-stricken dreamers. The best part of the wedding was the reception. Everyone was up, dancing and singing along to the music being shared, and the entire tarp over the field was covered in the most beautiful lights and flowers. You had a proper first dance with Wilbur before the dancing became more lively. You spent most of the night sitting with Wilbur and watching your people dance and laugh and drink. 

“It’s gorgeous, don’t you think?” You smiled, looking over at him.

He nodded, “It is. I’m glad to see everyone smiling and happy.” “And drunk.”

He laughed, leaning his head on your shoulder, “Yeah, that too.”

You smiled, holding his hand quietly. You stared at the ring on your finger. It was simple, but it was absolutely gorgeous. A simple gold band with a small chiselled diamond in the centre. The diamond was crafted from a piece that had chipped off of Wilbur’s sword when he taught you the basics of parrying hits. The engagement ring lay below it, a thinner silver ring with a small emerald that you recognized as coming from one of Wilbur’s ventures to a further village. The rings weren’t lavish, but you preferred them more like this. They were far more meaningful like this. Symbols of your love both in their meaning and their crafting. 

“Can I ask you something?” You asked him softly. 

“Of course, darling.”

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “In our vows, we both mentioned honesty, so I want you to be honest with me right now. I know this isn’t the place to ask, but… what do you think our chances of winning are?” 

He was quiet for a long moment, his thumb caressing the back of your hand, “I don’t think it matters how big or small our chances are. I think what matters is that we have a chance. If we didn’t, we would’ve failed a long time ago.”

You nodded softly, “You see it, though? The future where we win?”

He looked over at you, a wide smile on his face, “I see it as clearly as I see you now. I see our fields free from the blood they currently harbor. Instead, they’re filled with flowers that grew up from the bloodshed. Crimson turned crimson. The kids run around, free of fear of an incoming bomb. My brother runs with them, and he no longer acts so grown up; he’s allowed to be a kid again. I see a memorial for those we lost, for all that was sacrificed. I see our citizens in parades, every year for our independence, they sing and dance, just like this. It’s like… the war is the night, the cold and harsh conditions that brutalize us and break us down into nothing more than human. But independence? It’s warm. It’s laying in the sun in a field with you. It’s our flag waving high on a summer day. It’s the laughter of children, it’s the joy of the future. It’s us. Our future. A memory garden adorned with flowers and the knowledge that we will never return to the Great War because we not only survived, but we persisted.”

“It’s daylight,” you smiled, and he gave you a grin so bright it felt like basking in it.

“It’s daylight.”

The weeks after the wedding remained lively for the most part. The morale boost helped the troops improve, and the battles didn’t seem as tough. There was an underlying fear that the SMP troops were holding back for some reason, but for the most part, everything seemed to be going good.

Until one morning.

Winter had begun, and with it, hardships improved. Illness was rampant, and while no one had fallen fatally ill yet, everyone was afraid. 

Wilbur didn’t expect you to be next on the list of ill. 

He was in the living room when you woke up that day. You stood slowly, but as you stood, you were hit with a wave of nausea and vertigo. You nearly collapsed before making it to the trash to throw up the contents of your empty stomach. You leaned over the trash and within moments, Wilbur was at your side, keeping your hair out of your face and rubbing your back.

“Darling? Are you alright?”

You coughed weakly, spitting into the trash, “Do I seem okay, Wilbur?” You huffed, before sighing. “Sorry, I just- I hate throwing up.”

He nodded softly, “It’s alright, I get it, here,” he carefully helped you up back into bed before rushing to grab some water. He handed you the glass, and you drank it quickly, sighing softly. 

“Did something happen?” He asked, moving to your side to wrap an arm around you.

“No, I just stood up and- yeah,” you sighed, leaning your head against him, “You shouldn’t be close, I may be sick.”

He frowned, kissing the top of your head, “I’ll be alright. I’m going to call for the doctor, okay?”

You nodded softly, and he was rushing to get the doctor within seconds. They came back a few minutes later, and the doctor was quick to check over you.

“Your temperature is a bit high,” they hummed, “But other than that and the throwing up, I’m not seeing any other major symptoms. It could be stress. I would take it easy for the next few days, see if it improves. If nothing’s changed in a week, we can check for more, alright?”

You nodded softly, sighing quietly. Wilbur grabbed your hand gently before walking the doctor out, sharing hushed words.

When he returned, he got back into bed next to you, “They don’t think it’s anything serious. They said it’s likely just a mild fever, not like the flu going around out there.”

You leaned your head on his shoulder, “I’ll be alright.”

“You will be,” he nodded, kissing the top of your head. “I can’t stay to watch you too much this week, but I can get Niki, if you want.”

“Wilbur, I don’t think I need to be watched,” you chuckled.

“I know you don’t need it,” he hummed, “but I want someone to be here with you. I don’t want you to collapse and have no one be here for you.”

You sighed softly, nodding, “Okay. If you don’t need her for anything this week, then I don’t mind. I like spending time with Niki.”

He smiled, squeezing your hand gently, “Alright. I’ll let her know.”

The same thing happened throughout the week. Wilbur would help you in the morning when the nausea hit, and then Niki would swap out with him when he had to go help out his people. The nausea usually lasted the whole day, but the vertigo and lightheadedness only seemed to last in the morning. You managed to eat small meals, and with Niki’s baking, she brought you a lot of small snacks. 

It was one of these days that you had a theory. The final day of the week, there was a major battle, so Niki would spend the whole day with you while Wilbur went out to fight. It was nerve wracking knowing that he would be out there and you were stuck in your bedroom, but you figured it wasn’t that much different from the other days, you supposed.

“Niki,” you spoke up from your place on the bed. She was sat across from you, working on a small knitting project. The troops had just head out for the battle. 

“Yeah, Y/N?” she asked, looking up at you.

“Did a doctor stay behind? Or did all of them head out?”

She thought for a moment, “There’s two here with us. One for the ill, and one preparing things for when the others return.”

You nodded, staying quiet for a moment, “Could you call one of them here for a moment?”

She frowned, concern lacing her brow, “Yeah, of course, but, why? Are you not feeling well again?”

“It’s not that,” you bit your lip quietly, looking away for a moment, “Can you keep a secret, Niki?”

She nodded, “Of course.”

You fiddled with your fingers for a moment, trying to think of the best way to phrase your next statement, “I… skipped this month.”

She gave you a look of confusion, before her eyes widened as realization hit, “Oh. Oh! Do you think-?”

“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t want to get my hopes up yet. And I don’t want to get Wilbur’s hopes up either, just in case. But… I think so.”

She gave you a grin, nodding quickly as she stood, “I’ll go grab one of the doctors, I’ll be right back!”

She rushed out, leaving you alone with your thoughts for a moment. You were nervous about the implications. You wanted to start a family with Wilbur, of course, but neither of you were planning for it to happen yet. You’d agreed to wait until after the war. War is no place to raise a child.

The doctor came in, and she gave you a gentle smile. Niki waited outside as you spoke with the doctor, and you did a quick exam. 

“Well,” the doctor gave you a soft smile, “I think your theory may be correct, Y/N.”

“You think?”

“Well, I know. You’re correct. You’re pregnant.”

She had a soft grin on her face as she confirmed your theory, as if it was not news that changed the entire trajectory of your future. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” you gave her a soft smile right back, trying to let your worries ease into the back of your mind until Wilbur returned. 

“Of course. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. For the next few months, just try to relax. I know it’ll be tough given our circumstances, but you have the support of the entire country holding you up, alright?”

You nodded silently. 

“I’ll do another exam in a month to make sure everything is going well, and we can arrange for monthly visits. If you have any questions just let me know, and so other than that, congratulations.”

“Thank you,” you smiled softly, and she left soon after. 

Niki returned, a subdued smile on her face, “So?”

You bit your lip and nodded.

She grinned, rushing to your side and taking your hand in hers, “Oh, that’s lovely! Wilbur’s going to be so excited, are you going to tell him tonight?”

“I think so,” you smiled softly, “I imagine it’d be hard to keep it from him.”

It was hard to keep it from him. But not through your own admission, rather because news of the doctor visiting your home traveled quick among those who’d stayed behind. That night, Wilbur rushed in to see you.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” He called out, rushing up to see you and hold you in a tight hug. He looked worse for wear, his hair a ruffled mess and his cheeks stained with dirt. 

“Yes, love, I’m alright, why?” You hugged him back tightly, nerves and knowledge filling your chest.

“I- I heard a doctor came in today,” he pulled away to inspect your face, holding your cheeks gently, “Did something happen?”

“No, no,” you smiled softly, “I’m okay, I’m good, actually. We figured everything out, and I’m going to be okay.”

He let out a breath of relief, pressing his forehead to yours gently, “Darling, you scared me.” 

“I’m sorry,” you chuckled softly, “How was the fight?”

He tensed, and you frowned.

“It was… it wasn’t good,” he sighed, and your heart dropped, “We ambushed them like we planned, but they were stronger. We didn’t get to take out as many of them as we wanted to before they noticed us, so we were outnumbered.”

You nodded softly, “Were you successful in stealing supplies, though?”

He nodded, and the smile on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Not as much as we wanted to, but enough to make it hurt.”

“That’s good,” you smiled back at him, “Are you injured? Did you see the medic?”

He shook his head, “a few scratches and a burn from a flaming arrow, but it’s not bad. It’s on my shoulder.”

You rolled your eyes fondly, “Go take a bath, and I’ll wrap it. And then, I have something important to talk to you about.”

He tilted his head, “What is it?”

“Nope, not yet. Go clean up first,” you chuckled softly, “That takes priority.”

He rolled his eyes, grin falling on his face easily, “Alright, alright. I’ll be right back.”

You nodded and watched as he went to go clean up. You could have told him then, but it was more for your sake than his that you wanted to wait. You had to get your mind together first, especially now knowing he was okay. 

He returned not long after, face and hands scrubbed clean of dirt and soot. He was wearing a white tank top with his sleep pants, and he had the med kit in his hand as he sat down next to you.

You hissed softly as you saw the burn, gently taking his arm in your hand, “Wilbur, this is worse than you described.”

He waved it off, sighing, “It just got irritated from the water. It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

You gave him a look of disbelief as you stared at the burn. It was bright red and angry, skin slightly charred and bubbled. There was a slight cut in the middle of it from where the arrow must’ve passed through. You sighed sofly, grabbing the disinfectant. 

“Hold onto my arm, this is going to sting,” you told him softly, and he did as you said. Once you passed the disinfectant over the burn, he hissed in pain, squeezing your shoulder. You continued cleaning the wound until it was satisfactory, You grabbed the burn cream and delicately spread it over the wound, and slowly, his pained noises lessened. 

“I’m not going to wrap it just yet, it needs to breathe for a while, okay?”

He nodded, sighing and pulling his hand away, “Will I be able to cover it tomorrow?”

You frowned, “You shouldn’t. But I know you will, so I’ll wrap it tomorrow.”

He nodded again, grabbing the med kit and returning it to its space in your bathroom.

“So,” he said, sitting down in front of you, “You said you have something important to share?”

“Yeah, so,” you sighed softly, taking his hand gently, “It’s about the doctor visit. I had the doctor come over today because I wanted to talk to her about us starting a family.”

He nodded, eyebrows furrowing slightly, “Okay. I thought we were planning to wait, though?”

You nodded, “I know, but… would you… be upset if we didn’t?”

He chuckled, “Not at all, darling,” he smiled, “it wouldn’t be ideal, but that’s more due to my own selfishness. I want to be here for every second of it, and I don’t know if I can right now. But I wouldn’t be upset about it. Do you… want to?”

You bit your lip, taking his hand and placing it over your stomach. “Wilbur,” you looked up at him, “I don’t know if we have much of a choice anymore.”

He gave you a concerned look, frowning, “Why not? Did- did something happen? If you’re not able to, we could always look into adoption, or-”

“No, Will,” you chuckled softly, shaking your head, “It’s not like that. It’s, uh, it’s the opposite, actually.” You gave him a soft grin.

He looked confused for a moment longer before a wide grin crossed his face, “Wait. Do you- do you mean?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I had a theory with all the sickness in the morning. So, I talked to the doctor, and… I think our family will be coming a lot sooner than we’d planned for.”

He grinned, tears springing to his eyes, “You’re serious? You’re-”

“Pregnant. Yeah.” You were grinning as well, and finally getting to tell him felt like the first breath of air after diving into the deep end.

“Oh, darling,” he spoke, pulling you into a tight hug, “Oh, I- we’re going to have a kid.”

You nodded, chuckling through the tears of joy that hit your cheeks. “Yeah, we’re going to have a kid.”

He grinned, holding you tightly, “Fundy’s going to have a sibling! Darling, this is amazing. I know we wanted to wait, but I don’t care. I have so much more to fight for now. So much more to come home for.”

You kissed him, holding onto him like a lifeline, “The war’s not done. But this. This is why we fight. As long as you’re home at the end of the day, that’s all that matters to me.”

He grinned at you, “I love you so much. I am so lucky to have you. We’re so lucky, even if it’s just being alive right now. This is all we need.”

You smiled lovingly at him, “We are so fucking lucky. And I am so excited for this. They’re blessed to have you as their father.”

“They’re blessed to have you as well,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

That night, neither of you went to sleep concerned over a failed fight. Instead, you dreamt of the bright future you’d be bringing your child into. 

Family and close friends were the first to know. You told them two days later, during an impromptu family meeting that Wilbur had called. Everyone was incredibly elated, though Tommy’s excitement probably took the cake, as he was practically screaming his congratulations. 

The rest of country learned fairly soon after. About a month later, even though you’d only slightly began showing and could certain continue to hide it for a while, neither of you wanted to. It was a joy to share with the country, and the celebration that followed was bright and lively, a night-long glimpse into a wonderful future. 

It wasn’t always easy, though. Wilbur hated how he couldn’t stay by your side, taking care of your every need. You hated how lonely some nights were, when the battles lasted longer than usual or they had to prepare for a midnight ambush. The worst part of those nights was the fear, overwhelming and keeping you stationary in Wilbur’s office or your bedroom. Not knowing if your husband would return hurt more than anything else in the world. 

You were six months in when he came home exhausted in early morning light. He didn’t speak to you at first, giving you a kiss before going to wash up. You waited anxiously for him to return, and when he did, he returned shirtless with a med kit in hand. He sat down in front of you with a sigh, turning around so you could see the large gash running down his shoulder. 

“Wilbur,” you gasped softly, “this is really long.”

“It’s not that deep. Didn’t even realize it was there until I went to wash up.” He sighed.

You frowned, starting to patch him up quickly. 

He spoke to distract himself, “Do you think we’re going to have a girl or a boy?”

You shrugged softly, “I’m not sure. They could be nonbinary as well.”

“True,” he hummed, “if they do come out as nonbinary, we’ll let them choose their own name. But we do still need to choose a name.”

“That’s true,” you hummed, carefully disinfecting his wound, “We should prepare for both.”

“I agree,” he responded, though his words came out through a clenched jaw. 

“So what are you thinking, then?” 

“Hm, I’m not sure about for a boy. But I do have a name picked out for a girl.”

“Oh, yeah?” you smiled, starting to carefully apply the salve to the wound, “What is it?”

“Tallulah,” he smiled softly, “What do you think?”

“That’s gorgeous. I love it.” You set the rest of the salve down, picking up the bandages. 

“I’ve always loved it. I’m really glad you like it as well.”

You directed him to hold his arm up so you could wrap his wound, “It’s beautiful. What about a boy?”

He hummed, “I’m not sure.”

“We could always do Wilbur Jr.”

He snorted, shaking his head, “God, no. I’d sooner name them after Tommy.”

You laughed, shaking your head, “I mean, Thomas would be a good middle name.”

“It would, actually,” he smiled softly. “For a boy, though… Julius could be nice. Or maybe Cornelius.”

You hummed, “Those have a good ring to it. Julius Thomas Soot. Cornelius Thomas Soot.”

“They do. We can think more about it, I suppose. We have time.”

“We do have time,” you hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of his shoulder as you finished the bandage. 

He turned, wrapping his arms around you and laying his head on your chest, pressing a kiss to the baby bump. You moved a hand to gently play with his hair. 

“It was bad today?” You asked softly.

He sighed, “Bad would be an understatement.” 

You nodded softly, kissing the top of his head.

“Do you think we’re bad people? For bringing a kid into this?” He asked softly.

You frowned, “No. I don’t.”

He nodded, holding you a bit tighter. After a moment, he spoke softly, “I’m really scared for them.”

You brushed through his hair with your hand, “Why?”

“I’m going to be honest, it… it doesn’t look good right now. They keep getting stronger and smarter, and I don’t know how to fight them. I’m scared we’re bringing our child into a failing country, and I’m scared I can’t protect you or them if worse comes to worse.” 

“I understand. I’m scared too. But, love… we can’t really do anything now. We just have to try to give this child the best life we can, no matter the circumstances. Even if they’re the worst case scenario.”

He sighed, nodding, “I know. I just… I feel like I fucked up with Fundy. I was too young at the time, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes. And if I’m focused on fighting a war, I won’t be able to be there for them, the same way I wasn’t there for Fundy. I’m scared of being a bad father again.”

“I don’t think you will be,”  you spoke softly, “and you’re not alone this time. You have me. They won’t be alone if you’re not there. I’ll be here.”

He nodded softly, looking up at you, “Thank you. I’m sorry, I’m just…” He trailed off.

“I get it. I’m scared too. I’ve never done this before. I have no clue what I’m doing. Not to mention I’m terrified of giving birth. But I’m scared of making mistakes because I didn’t know until I met you if I would ever have a kid. I’m glad I am, don’t get me wrong, but I never expected to be ready for something like this. Honestly, I still don’t know if I’m ready. I’m terrified, Wilbur. But I have you. I’m not alone.”

He smiled, leaning up to kiss you gently, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, darling,” you spoke softly, kissing him back gently, “Let’s get some rest, now, okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded softly. With how exhausted he was, it didn’t take long before he fell asleep, leaving you alone with thoughts of uncertainty until sleep took over.

As you entered the last month of the pregnancy, things were starting to look up. 

Kind of.

While the recent battles had been lost, Wilbur had a plan.

“Darling, I think I’ve figured it out,” he grinned, standing from his desk and walking to the couch you sat on.

“What is it?” You smiled, looking up at him.

“I’ve figured out how we win. Tubbo’s been spying for us, as you know, and he brought me this document yesterday, and I couldn’t see the significance! I was being an idiot, but I knew it didn’t make sense for them to have an entire document detailing how they make their uniforms.” He grinned, and you tilted your head.

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a cypher. Darling, it was a code! And I- I figured it out. I know their plans.” He had a manic look in his eye, and you couldn’t help but perk up at the excitement in his tone.

“Love, have you slept?”

“Barely, I couldn’t sleep much because I kept thinking about this stupid fucking document. But darling, we know everything now. We know exactly where they’re going to be and when. We can win, we- we can do this.”

You grinned, but the anxiety still filled your chest at the idea, “You’re sure about this?”

“I- I mean, I think. I figured out the code, and it all makes sense.”

You bit your lip. You didn’t want to think of the most likely possibility. That they knew. That this was a fake document.

“Darling, I thought you’d be more excited,” he frowned, catching onto your anxiety. 

“No, no, I am, just… Wilbur, what if they did it on purpose? What if they let him get a document planted just to feed you incorrect information?”

He nodded, thinking quietly. “I trust in it. And I think it may be a risk we have to take.”

You gaped at him, “Wilbur, you could be marching our troops directly into a trap.”

“I know, I know, but,” he sighed, “I have a good feeling about this, I promise. Honestly, I don’t think we have any other choice. Without this, we have nothing.”

You nodded softly, “... you trust it? That- that this isn’t a plant?”

“Yes.”

“And how certain are you?”

He bit his lip, “Mostly certain. It’s the best chance we’ll have, and we have to move fast, their plans start tomorrow.”

You nodded, pulling him in for a tight hug, “Okay. If-if you’re sure. I trust you.”

He hugged you back tightly, and you tried not to think about the fact that he hugged you like it may be the last time, “I love you so much, darling. Don’t worry, okay? This time tomorrow, we’ll be free people.”

You nodded, closing your eyes to focus on the feeling of his arms around you, “I love you too.” You pulled him in for a loving kiss, sighing softly. 

“Go rally your troops.”

Wilbur did just that. He left shortly and brought the plan to all the generals, all the soldiers, everyone he could. He was buzzing with excitement when he returned that night, holding you close as he lied with you in bed, one hand gently resting over your belly. 

“We’re leaving before the sun is up,” he told you softly.

“Will you be back when I wake up?”

He shook his head, “No. But we’ll be back for dinner for sure.”

You smiled softly, holding him closer, “We’ll have a celebratory dinner. Extra special.”

“Oh?” He chuckled, “Extra special?”

“Absolutely. Because we won’t just be celebrating the win. We’ll be celebrating your new role as President.”

He flushed softly, “You think?”

You nodded, “I’ve heard the people speak. They trust you, Wilbur. And I know you’ll make a great president. You’ll create a great place for our child to grow up in.”

“Thank you,” he smiled softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your belly, then your cheek.

“Plus,” you hummed, “President Soot does have a good ring to it.”

He smirked, blushing once more, “Oh? You think so?”

“I know so, Mr. President,” you grinned as he leaned up, lips hovering above yours. 

“That does sound nice. Though I may be biased,” he pecked your lips gently, a smirk still ghosting on his lips.

“How so?”

“Well, I think any words that escape your lips are just as gorgeous as the lips they escape from,” he spoke softly, pulling you into a languid and loving kiss. You kissed him back just as passionately, letting the intensity quell your fears about his return tomorrow. 

Wilbur was gone when you woke up the next morning, which you expected. What you didn’t expect was for lunchtime to have been such a bleak affair. You expected much more liveliness from your people, especially given how much Wilbur believed in the plan. But the streets were quiet. There were only hushed words as you walked through town to find a meal, and it seemed as if many people were directing those hushed words towards you.

“Did something happen?” You asked the merchant after you finished your meal.

She gave you a frown, a tense look appearing on her brow, “You haven’t heard?” You felt your heart sinking as you shook your head. 

She sighed, looking down for a moment before looking back up at you, “I’m sorry, uh…” she took a deep breath before speaking, “one of the generals was supposed to come back to check in at noon. They haven’t returned.”

Your eyes widened slightly, but you nodded quietly, “Well, that- that doesn’t mean anything specific yet. Have we heard anything at all from the battlefield?”

She shook her head solemnly, and you nodded once more.

“Alright, well, ah, thank- thank you,” you stuttered out, before rushing away to find the basecamp quarters. You started feeling a pain as you walked, but you didn’t allow yourself to focus on it as you ripped open the tarp to the camp, finding the entire place… empty. It felt like a ghosttown.

You swallowed down the bile that rose in your throat, rushing back home. The pain continued as you walked, and your legs shook stubbornly as you trekked home. You couldn’t tell if the pain was even real, or if it was a side effect of the desperation and doom that filled your heart. As you reached your home, you collapsed against the front door, holding onto the door frame as a groan of pain escaped you. Before you knew it, the ground was rushing up to meet you.

When you woke, you weren’t on the ground. You found yourself in an uncomfortable cot, pain wracking through your body as you failed to sit up.

“Hey, take it easy, it’s okay, you’re okay,” the doctor spoke, coming to help you sit up. You were sweating, and she carefully placed a cold wet cloth to the top of your forehead. 

“What’s- what’s going on? Where’s Wilbur?” You stifled a groan as you spoke. 

“He’s not back yet, none of the troops are. And you’re okay, you passed out when your water broke. You’re going into labor.”

“Fuck,” you hissed out, panting softly. You noticed now the dressing gown you wore, your original clothes laying folded in a pile in the corner. 

“Take some deep breaths for me, you’re doing great, okay?” She instructed, and you nodded, taking a moment to just focus on your breathing.

“What- what time is it?” You asked in between breaths.

“It’s about to be seven.” She told you, turning as she sorted through medical supplies. 

Wilbur should’ve been back by now. You didn’t know if you could do this without him. 

“Your contractions are coming in about every five minutes, and they’re lasting about a minute. You’re not quite there yet, so you have time, alright?”

You bit your lip and nodded, placing a hand over your belly as you prayed to any god that would listen that your husband would be returning to you in one piece, in time for him to meet his child. You’d never felt so alone at such a worse time. You had no midwife, no friends, no husband, just your doctor to guide you through this. 

It was another hour before it was time. You didn’t want it to be, you wanted Wilbur. 

“You’re dilated,” the doctor informed you, grim as you shared a thought on the lack of troops returning, “I’m sorry, but you’re going to start pushing.”

You shook your head, “No, I- I need to wait, please.”

“I’m sorry, I know.” She took your hand in hers, “We still have time, but you need to start.”

As much as you wanted to argue, you knew you couldn’t.

The sound of you yelling in pain during the next contraction was masked with another sound.

Yelling, first. 

Then, the singing. 

And finally, cheering.

It was only a minute later when heard the sound grow, of your people, cheering and singing in the streets outside. It was two minutes later when a medic rushed in, a smile on their face.

“They’re back!” They announced, before rushing to tell whoever they could.

You fought through another contraction as your heart lifted, panic filling you.

“Wilbur,” you spoke weakly, “Wilbur, please, please, find- find Wilbur.”

The doctor looked at you in concern, biting her lip for a moment. 

“Okay. Okay, yes, hold on, let me- I’ll go try to find him, just hold on.”

You nodded rapidly as the doctor rushed out, going to find Wilbur. You gripped the sides of the cot as you groaned in pain, trying desperately to focus on your breathing. 

When she returned, she was alone, “I-I couldn’t find him, but they’re saying he’s alive, don’t worry, okay?”

You let out a breath of relief, head falling back for a moment as you relaxed just as much as you could. She guided you through a few more contractions before you heard the most beautiful sound. 

“Darling?!” You heard Wilbur yell, and you heard his voice get closer with each word, “Excuse me, please, hold on, Y/N!” He ripped open the door, gasping in relief once he saw you.

“Darling, oh my god,” he rushed in, coming in quickly to hold your hand tightly and place his other hand on your cheek. You leaned into his touch as he turned to the doctor, “How far along are they?”

“Breached,” the doctor informed, “Should be any minute now.”

He nodded, and you looked at him, “Will, I was so- fuck- I was so worried.”

He cooed, brushing your hair back, “It’s okay, I’m alright, I’m here now. Darling,” he grinned, eyes filled with tears as you squeezed his hand and groaned in pain. 

“Darling,” he spoke again once the moment had passed, “We- we did it. We won. We’re free.”

You gasped, pulling him into you, “Oh, my god,” you couldn’t fight the tears that fell from your cheeks, “We won?”

He nodded quickly, kissing the top of your head, “We won.”

You let out a sob of relief and joy, but it was quickly masked by another yell of pain.

“You’ve got this, darling, I’m here, we’re free, you can do this,” he told you, holding you close. 

“It’s a girl,” the doctor spoke softly. Wilbur was with you on the cot now, and you both were exhausted for different reasons, but both with joyous outcomes. She brought your daughter over to you, the newborn swaddled carefully. 

You gasped quietly when you saw her, taking her gently in your arms as you leaned against Wilbur. You looked up at him, tears in both of your eyes. He kissed you gently before looking back down at your daughter.

“Tallulah Soot,” he spoke softly, “Welcome to the free nation of L’Manburg.”

You chuckled, though it was slightly muffled from your tears. “The first citizen to be born under a free rule,” you spoke softly, a finger gently stroking her cheek, “Because we won.”

“We won,” Wilbur parroted, disbelief clouding his voice. 

She woke both of you up early with her cries. You held her in your arms as the early morning light poured in slowly, and as you rocked her, Wilbur sat next to you, an arm around your shoulder. 

Her cries softened, and as her big eyes stared up at you, you decided to tell her a story.

“Now, Ms. Lulah,” you spoke softly, “You won’t know this for a few years. But you were born during a very special time. Your father was amazing, he commanded a whole army of people.”

Wilbur chuckled softly, kissing your head, “You were born to two amazing people. One a commander, and one his political advisor who won his heart with their wit and brevity behind closed doors.”

You chuckled, smiling warmly, “Yes, even though he was a disorganized wreck when I met him. Every year, Ms. Lulah, there will be a parade on your birthday. Do you know why?”

Wilbur smiled fondly, “I don’t think she does.”

“Well, then I’ll tell her,” you hummed softly. You looked up, staring out in an empty field, filled with beautiful red flowers as the morning light softly reflected on dew drops that slept on grass. “Because, you, Ms. Lulah, were born on the day your father and our people fought to ensure your freedom. More importantly, you were born on the day they won.”

She let out a soft giggle – the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard – and you grinned lovingly, staring out at that field once more, that never again, would harbor the same bloodshed. As the sun poured in, you could see in your mind, her running in that field, picking those red flowers, and never once knowing of the same hardships that allowed crimson blood to pour on your land.

All she would know is the daylight.

[babiebom]

When You Fall (vii)

A/N: sorry for not updating this in a while it’s hard for me to get the inspiration to put my thoughts on the page y’know? It’s like whatever I write won’t be as good as it is in my head. At this point this is like a once a month upload and I feel like that’s too slow :(

Tw:talks of depression, talks of medications, guilt. Lmk if there’s more I should tag

Wc:0.9k

Previous Next Masterlist

Finally home again, you tense up as soon as you shut the door behind you. It was different, depression when you’re surrounded by distractions and depression when you’re alone. The creaking of the house filled you with loneliness. When you were little it was always your grandparents inside, the house warm and smelling of food and baked goods. Then it was just your grandfather, the house still warm but no longer smelling good. Now it’s just you, with a house that was only warm because it was springtime and the sun was warming everything it touched.

Tears start to prick your eyes and you wonder when your medication would be making its appearance. It was only recently that your emotions started to overwhelm you, the reason clear as day and you hated the fact that you couldn’t bounce back like you usually did. It wasn’t the first time someone in your family had died, nor will it be the last but it wasn’t like when your grandmother died when you were young, you were able to get over it then, this time you weren’t able to process and get over it at all. Processing hadn’t even started, it’s just been an immediate descent into an endless black hole.

Guilt almost overcomes you as doubts start making their way into your mind. You wanted to believe Harvey would never prescribe you anything horrible, you wanted to believe that things were going to get better once you had your medicine, but it was hard to not hear things about taking meds for mental health; all the side effects and body changes that people go through. The chance that the medicine can make things worse, the chance that the medicine can make you feel nothing at all. It was scary, and something that you hadn’t experienced up until this point. Harvey was great with prescribing you the meds, but in the back of your mind the want to flush them as soon as you get them tries to get your attention and make itself seem like a good idea.

Well, at least you can work on your farm or something while you have time. You rested all day yesterday, today can be dedicated to bettering your land. Putting on your work clothes, you move to open the door. Honestly maybe you should start looking out the window or a peep hole or something because having to stifle a scream when you see Marnie’s face is embarrassing.

“Marnie!” You try to act like she didn’t just jumpscare you into next year. “It’s nice to see you this morning!” You had only met the woman once like a week ago, and seeing her on your doorstep was kind of weird. Behind her was a huge fluffy dog who was wagging its tail, staring up at you with the sweetest eyes you’ve ever seen; and in her arms an orange cat who seemed all too happy to be getting pets and being held.

“Hello Y/N! You see these animals here? I found them sitting together outside the entrance to your farm! I think they might be strays…poor little things.”

You nod and stare at her, what was the point of all this? If she thought they were strays why is she here talking about them? It has to be obvious out of everyone in the town you’d know the least about who owns them. Though, they were extremely cute…

The dog plops down on the front porch, it’s tail still wagging as it stares up at you. Now that you think about it, there’s an old dog house somewhere in the property, your grandfather had a dog before, so maybe you could ask if you could keep it, maybe the cat too. It would be better than being alone all day. Marnie waits a beat before speaking again, staring at the dog fondly.

“I think they like this place! Hey, um…don’t you think this farm could use some animals?”

Like your prayers were answered you smile at her, “yeah, sure. I can keep them! Farm is big and empty anyways…”

She hands the orange cat to you and steps back. “Do you have a name for either of them?” You nod immediately, knowing exactly what you wanted to name them it was so easy.

“Mango and Shadow.” You say with confidence. The cat was orange, and fruit themed names were always cute, and the dog, while brown, already seemed as if it was going to follow you around all day like a fluffy shadow anyways.

“Well, you both be good, now…okay?” Marnie seemed a little sad as if she wanted to keep them, she probably had no room for them with all of her animals. She leaves down the path back towards her own place.

Excitedly, you hurry and set the cat down grabbing your watering can and other farming supplies. Now that you had company, doing work and being home wasn’t so daunting. Shadow immediately follows after you, her tail wagging so quickly you could feel the air from it. Mango watched from the porch, lying on the stairs. They were both going to be inside with you, that’s for sure, but now you needed to fix the dog house, and buy animal supplies. Your new fur babies needed to immediately be spoiled (and cleaned), and you had absolutely nothing prepared for them.

Life has to get better from now on, right? Now you have two pets to take care of…now you have reasons to want to get better. Hopefully it makes the path to recovery easier.

[dreadhollow]

I have now had two separate people say that they want the long post about why I hate Zevlor so.. here you go

NOTE: NO HATE ON ZEVLOR FANS I DON'T WANT TO SEEM LIKE AN ASS THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE IT SCROLL- also if I'm misremembering/misinterpreting details pls lmk and I'll edit the post, it's hard to remember with 340+ hours of gameplay across a handfull of runs and I'm totally willing to admit I'm wrong lmao

Explanation on why I hate Zevlor below ⬇️

First of all, it is NOT visual. While I don't personally find him attractive I'm not gonna sit here and be like "oh he isn't a cute hot fictional man who is seven feet with a slutty waist 😭😭" no, I just hate this guy's personality. Looks have nothing to do with it.

My main reason is I personally feel like he is a bad leader of the teiflings, and not for all the reasons you may instantly think of. I don't actually blame him for abandoning the teiflings due to the cult influence. That was NOT his fault, it's literally a cult that can control your mind and if I hated him for it that would mean I would also have to hate Minsc, Minthara, and the Duke, which I don't. I like all those characters. The difference is his actions before and after.

Let's start with before. Now in the Grove it is ABUNDATLY clear these teiflings have no hope. Like seriously Lakrissa (I think that's her name) places a bet with you and she is betting that they won't survive. Now obviously you don't see his actions until you show up but if under his leadership all the teiflings have no hope for their survival, it's reasonable to assume Zevlor was never a very inspiring leader. A good leader should be able to help his people have faith in themselves, and those people managed to escape the literal HELLS. While it isn't entirely up to him how they feel surely he could have helped them a little in that area, but clearly he hasn't.

After Tav shows up things change a bit. Now I don't fault him for getting help, that was a tactical move on his end. His people were suffering and he saw hope from these random travelers that MAYBE they could survive. My gripe here is why the hell would he put the fate of all the teiflings, and to some extent the Grove, on four people he has never met before ever. Like he saw them fight once and just sent them off. What he should have done was gone with them to make sure things went smoothly and help. Or, in the scenario that he didn't want to leave the Grove (or rather the teiflings) without their leader, he could have at the very least sent some people out with them. Like, in the situation that you end up betraying the Grove, that is partially on him for the fact that he gave their personal info and location to some random people and went "yeah this will not backfire at all." And as proof that it isn't that crazy to imagine the leader helping, look at Halsin. He is kidnapped and knows the Grove leader isn't there, yet the moment he is free he doesn't just rush back to the Grove and tell Tav to fix his problems. He instead stays and helps fight the leaders (if you so choose.) That is the RIGHT thing to do. Not only did he not just trust a total stranger, but he actually helped in return for being aided. Zevlor does NONE of that. Hell- when you do save the teiflings in act two he doesn't give you shit. The teiflings themselves do.

Speaking of act two, can we talk about how Rolan gave them hope for the first time in probably ages? Sure Tav helped, but going back to the point I said earlier- they had NO HOPE with Zevlor as leader. But, when they quite literally had just been abandoned by the guy who was supposed to protect them, ROLAN of all people showed up and saved them. I feel like Zevlor, to a certain extent, can't face danger all that well, something a leader should be able to do. But Rolan in saving them gave them hope when they'd just been abandoned. Something Zevlor couldn't manage for probably months maybe even years (I can't remember the exact timeline.)

Now as a sort of counterclaim, I'm well aware someone is pushing up their glasses, rolling up their sleeves, and going "Aha! You fool- Zevlor comes back for the final battle against the absolute! Blah blah that's good because-" shhhh. Yes, I do give Zevlor SOME credit here. It is super awesome that he came and helped Tav.. however. Me personally I feel like that wasn't the right thing to even do at that point. Better than doing nothing yeah but still bad. See- in act three if you speak to some of the teiflings who are outside Wyrm's Crossing you can hear them saying they haven't heard from Zevlor since he left them. He vanished, completely. That is not okay at all. I know they are pissed at him so maybe he wanted to give them space but considering the fact that they are homeless, probably poor, just narrowly escaped death a few too many times, the last thing they need is to also be leaderless. At the very least he could have sent a letter saying what even happened to him, but what he should have done was go back to them and try and work things out. If they ended up saying they didn't want him anymore fine whatever, he could then go. But he literally says sorry for abandoning them and proceeds to continue to do so. They have no leader, and probably no idea how to get into Baldur's Gate. How could he just leave them that way? And I know he went to help Tav but he has seen before Tav is a perfectly capable person. Tav isn't the one he needs to focus on saving and making things up to, it's his people. Especially since some of those people are children and probably orphans on top of that. And of course I don't know if he does after the events of the game, he totally could. But my point still stands.

In conclusion, it is my OPINION that Zevlor is not a good leader, and honestly a sad excuse for one. This is all just from memory and I'm tired ASF so sorry if it sounds stupid I'm just getting my thoughts out. And if a Zevlor fan reads this I encourage you to comment or send an ask about why you like him because honestly I'm very curious! Anyways ty for reading I am a man who is far too dedicated to video games!! 👍

If I'm wrong.. mb honestly 🧍

[ericstoltz]

life update!!!!

hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.

first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!

another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)

ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(

and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^

SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !

have a nice day :)

[nobodysdaydreams]

THIS WAS SO GOOD OH MY GOSH! (or my reaction to Wolf359's "Change of Mind")

Well dear readers, you've been hyping this up a lot, so I'm pleased to finally be able to bring you my reaction to "Change of Mind", because I, Bods B. Nobody, have finished my finals, so I get to relax now.

Hahahaha...just kidding. No, no, I have a TON of stuff that I've been putting off to study for finals and write essays that's almost as bad as the finals themselves. Almost. Man I hate logistics. Doug and I really are the same person. I think it's the ADHD, but of all the fictional characters I've seen, he is one of the most surprisingly relatable.

I'll be reacting to this while doing chores, but please enjoy! And I apologize in advance if I don't react again for several weeks, I'm visiting family and friends for the holidays and won't be able to sit down for a while. But I hope to listen to season 4 soon!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Change of Mind:

Oh hi Lovelace. But which one are you? Alien robot clone Lovelace, or the original?

Or maybe someone or something else?

And do you know who you are?

Oh a lucid dream!

Flashback to the old crew! Interesting...Hello Hilbert. I'm not learning how to spell "sell burg". Selburg. is that it?

I see what we're doing. You're gonna make me like the old crew and make me listen to them die and all of Lovelace's trauma? Oldest trick in the book: utilizing flashback land at the right time. Why don't you just take us back to Doug's car crash well you're at it? Oh! Or maybe we can listen to Minkowski's husband hear that his wife died? Oh, no, wait, take us to when Hera tried to escape Pryce's facility, I actually want to see that.

Oh she and Lambert seem to have a bit of a rivalry going on. It's like Doug and Minkowski. They annoy each other, but if anyone else tries to hurt them, they'll go nuts (and probably feel real guilty no doubt).

"Everything alright?" When is it ever alright? This entire show, I don't think we've had one alright day.

Only a matter of time before Hilbert pulls some BS.

LOVELACE IS DOING THE INTRO I LOVE IT! I love when they change who does the intro (I say as I'm sure to eat my words when Cutter and/or Pryce does it).

I'm sorry I have a hard time keeping track of the names. At least Lambert has a distinct voice.

Oh do these two other characters have a bit of thing going on? I love the accents. It's a good way to help me distinguish them, even though I still can't tell who is who. oh yeah Hilbert I know. And geez man no need to be a buzz kill.

Lambert, the people who wrote the manual are sadistic lunatics who need to be imprisoned.

Ah Australian accent guy!

preach it Australian accent guy: "Zip it sir!"

"There's good stuff in these manuals, or they wouldn't be up here either."

Hm. Not sure about that one Australian guy. But we can't be right about everything.

Oh but he is right about Cutter. Cutter DOES get creepier every time. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

"I AM NOT" ...wait. Is Lambert voiced by... (*quick and careful google search to avoid spoilers*) ...Zach Valenti, yeah I heard it that time. Well that explains the nasal voice.

I love how Doug and Sam are both communications officers, and yet so different from each other.

I love Rhea. But I do wonder. Why does she only communicates by beeps? At first I assumed it was because she was an earlier model, and Hera was an upgrade with a voice for easier communication. But then Pryce had that line of "There is a reason I give these things my voice...". But it seems you didn't always have to do that Pryce. I wonder what Rhea did that made her so nervous?

Message from Command? The empty man again? Oh..."your complaints will be processed upon Lovelace’s return to earth?" Cutter was probably giggling to himself when he wrote that.

BOX 953? BOX 953? FINALLY!!!!!

I swear. Cutter and Pryce intentionally send up the most organized, by the book, responsible person they can find up paired with the most ADHD, I don't care, I don't want to be here person they can find just for the purpose of making Hilbert miserable when he has to listen to them fight.

"Who will fight for what is right?" Yeah, I'm sure Lambert and Lovelace will, unlike you Hilbert.

Ah yes the big box. The mysterious big box. We're finally gonna open the great big box. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Is it an alien? Is it a death machine? OH THE SOUND IS BACK!

Right the bolts. But we can do it, please please do it, I've waited a long time just open the box. Shut up Hilbert, no one cares what you have to say, I just want the box open, and you are gonna betray everyone anyway because you're crazy and think Cutter is gonna use Decima for good stuff, but he's gonna use it for eugenics, calling it now, because, guess what? When I was studying for my final, I realized from my lecture notes that "Goddard" is the name of a eugenicist who later apologized for his work, but not before other eugenicists took it and ran with it. And I don't believe that's a coincidence.

🎶 Opening the box. Opening the box. We're finally opening the great big box! 🎶

And..........

.....it's a....machine thing. A weird mechanical machine thing.

...

Okay!

6 openings on the machine...PUT YOUR HANDS INSIDE?

No. Nope. Not doing that. Don't like that. Don't do that.

Oh that sounded painful. That sounded...

Gross. Cutter.

THE WAITING ROOM?

...

THE WAITING ROOM?

I SWEAR THAT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR TMBS PARALLELS IN EVERY MEDIA I CONSUME BUT COME ON. IT HAS THE SAME NAME. THE SAME NAME. And I suppose the first fandom you join tumblr for never truly leaves you, does it? I've only spent about a year on this site, still learning.

Mental blank space? Oh gosh this is gross.

"Of course it's inside your head. But why should that mean it's not real?" Dang it Cutter I was gonna use a similar line in my fic and now I can't. You just can't stop giving me reasons to hate you can you? It's like an Olympic sport to him. Props to the writers though.

Imprint of Cutter's personality? That's the worst personality you could have picked.

Oh I see. Lambert's complaints did this... oh dear... well he's gonna learn his lesson about complaining now...

Complaining = Cutter's torture box.

He's taking them on a "Field Trip?"

With Cutter? I doubt it. *camera cuts Doug moaning*

What happens if they don't solve the mystery before time? And is there even a real timer? And why do I get the feeling YOU KILLED THE CREW CUTTER?

"Talent show went wrong or some sort of incident" I love the irony. I also wonder whether or not some of these crews are clones or whether these trips have happened before. It's a possibility.

Oh great. Australian man has people he cares about on earth. You guys really want to rip my heart out on this one don't you?

Oh who is this? What captain? Who's surrender? Explosives? For who's plan? Who is paying for it? What?

Well. What a nice obliging fella. I love Australian man. He's one of my favorite characters. I'm sorry about name thing.

"From A to E, all my love" Interesting. I wonder that too. Not sure we have characters by those names. Well, Alana, but she's dead and that doesn't really fit her.

Oh a diary. Emily. Who is coming? Are these people supposed to be "fills ins" for them. Like to show them what might happen if they went crazy or rebelled against Cutter? This is messed up.

Someone would do that? ...oh. If this was a real event, Cutter is making Hilbert live through it all over again. Which means Hilbert has to act like he doesn't know what's going on but also does because they are being timed.

I hope they use that for comedy: Hilbert: "oh look! Clue! I mean um...I think, I was not here this did not happen I do not know."

Katherine who? Who destroyed the samples? ...four glass tanks.

What um...what happened to the fifth glass tank? The spiders? Something worse?

Oh my gosh. The heartbeat coming from the box when Doug found it. The fact that it was so large...no wait, this is a simulation, never mind. I thought I had something there.

Cutter you can't edit the simulation that's not fair. Back on the Hephaestus? Why do I doubt it. Oh Rhea. Good work Rhea! But um...I have my doubts...

"A shame not to know" it is, but it would be even more foolish to investigate.

"I have a weird feeling we're not at rock bottom yet...I don't want to crash into it..." oh you have no idea Lovelace.

"It could be important" not in the way you think Lambert. Not in the way you think Lambert.

"There's a thing following us" I knew it wasn't over yet.

The empty man cometh.

...Oh great. Lovelace that's not funny. Doing stuff like that triggers the dramatic irony.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

The Dramatic Irony Cometh.

Ah! Here it is. Who said "Tell me about it?" Was that Doug? How would that even be possible? Was that Cutter? This is weird. I can't tell whose voice it is exactly.

Oh Australian man is getting closer to the truth. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it Hilbert?

"Is anyone there?" Someone is always there.

Aw poor Rhea. She knows what's happening to Fischer. :( Or she's mocking Hilbert.

"How did I end up back here?" You're still in the simulation.

Who is there? The empty man. He escaped his box! Or you're still in the simulation. Or both.

Rhea is calling out your BS Hilbert.

Dmitri?

How does she know his name? And why do I think Rhea isn't the one doing this. I do like the idea of the ship's architecture changing.

No change in the star. Yet something is happening.

Empty men time!

Or...empty...dog? Time? What's with the growl?

Wings? Tentacles? A what? Monster YOU imagined?

Well then. We're still in the simulation.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't figured it out." Who is that?

Is that Cutter? Why did he sound almost normal for a second. Oh no that is him.

A singing telegram would be nice.

"So we never made it out?" ...in more ways than one.

Yeah. Rhea can't be here. She's not connected.

Called it.

...um. Who is THIS?

57 COPIES? Aries. Don't like her. Is that how it's spelled? Aires? Eres? Erase?

If it's in your heads she very much CAN hurt you.

And the temporal stuff is interesting. A story out of order. So technically...oh my gosh there are so many theories I can make out of this. But I gotta keep cleaning so I'll just let the episode play out.

The next room? When does this end?

Ah Hilbert. I was wondering where he was.

A week of time? TIME DIALATION?

Okay...if anyone has seen black mirror and saw my entry for Pryce on my post about Christmas music that reminds me of Wolf359 characters, you'll know that I already know that Hui is about to come out of this a scarred and desperate man. (some of you might already understand what I'm talking about...)

This is terrifying. Hui has to be horrified. Lovelace...oh and they're making Victoria ask for the clues, this is cruel. The speed up sound effects make it so much worse. It really is like Black Mirror.

Also... is this aging him? And a week of time...is that an earth week? We're talking about earth weeks right?

Took something from the person who killed them. Okay. Another clue.

Are you sure Selberg? If this is an old memory that Cutter is showing him, then I think he would be...unless this is different than what Hilbert experienced before.

"Everyone would have gotten spaced" ...right. Is there gonna be a big twist where they all got blown out the window on talent show night in season 1 and everything we're seeing is a simulation of their consciousness.

Ah the alien clones are here! Which means Cutter has known about them for a while.

They could also both be fake. Or both real, if they make an AI copy of his consciousness.

Additional medical exams? oh really getting into the questions now.

"I'm not Fischer" ... okay, but you have to have them both do it though...

...or not.

Okay so Fischer is the Australian one. But he could be fake too you should test him.

Good, asking them both questions. Smart. Good work Lambert.

I hate dark rooms too.

Change of Mind?

Sudden Death?

"If both of you press don't, you get to go up to the bridge"

IT'S THE PRISONERS DILEMMA ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE ALL MY FANDOMS CONNECTED?

Lovelace Do, Lambert Don't, delete all Lambert's memories of manual, brain rejects desire to read? Don't do it Lovelace. Don't do it.

Lovelace Don't, Lambert Do, all crew will think he's the commander.

Guys this should not be tempting.

Both press "Do" they get liquified.

Okay. So I was right about the dilemma. Eres shut up. Stop trying to liquify their brains! Now this is an AI I believe was created by Pryce and Cutter.

Oh she's making Lambert tell the truth. Lambert this is the part where you tell her it's okay to press do because you'll press don't. It's not worth it, throw in the towel. NOT TIMES UP!

Let's not be stupid.

Lambert: Don't. Good job Lambert. Thank you Lambert.

Lovelace: Don't. Good job Lovelace.

End of the game? Why do I not believe you?

End of the line? I don't like that. Why is Lovelace by herself? I don't like rooms that are just for one person. Those never go well.

Ah. The bridge. Is that Eres? She sounds young. Oh she's apologizing. Aw, she hoped they'd make it and was only programmed to hurt them. This is...so sad. Oh dear. A gun.

"You should fight this" "And what?" "This is what they made me for. This doesn't have to be sad."

"Just because someone made you something doesn't means that's all you're going to be" VERY true, both for the alien clones and the AI.

Oh great it's Cutter. Oh HE kills her. Why am I not surprised.

Another message? ✉️

"Training program might not be up to international law. By ripping up this paper, you are absolving us." I'd save that paper forever.

So the training program was wiped? Eres is gone.

Rhea: "It's just the way they programmed her, back off."

Oh poor Rhea 🥺

Aw Victoria is trying to cheer him up. I wonder what he does remember. A bad dream? Interesting.

That's nice, they're reading together. Not much time left in the episode. I wonder what's left.

So...wait. What was in the box when Doug went to open it? Was it the same machine? He said he heard a heartbeat.

At least Lambert and Lovelace seem to be getting along. Those kinds of experiences really do bring people together.

Ah more music. 🎶🎶🎶🎶

Cutter???

Why this day? Cutter you idiot. It's obvious. And she is going to mess you up someday Cutter. Dramatic irony cometh Cutter. Dramatic irony cometh.

Ah Doug is back! Kepler shut your mouth, I still need you to grab your redemption arc or drown in Whiskey. And you better make your choice quickly, because we only have one season left. Tik-tok errand boy, tik-tok.

Ready or not. Empty man cometh!

[squishmallow36]

It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter Two

Summary: the garvar fic has turned garvarioli! We've done a bit of a time skip because I didn't want to write the dating and the blushing and the getting to know each other blah blah blah. So now they're just in a relationship and the fact I didn't feel the need to slowburn it is astonishing to me. Anyway Garwin's gonna be joining the Neverseen officially. Yeah that's pretty much the whole plot.

Word count: 3011

TW: drug mention, murder mention, implied sex, swearing. This is the farthest into pg-13 territory I've gone but these idiots demand it.

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @remember-me-in-another-time @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake

The people who aren't on my taglist and I'm sorry for bothering you but you lost your minds on the last chapter so uh you did this to yourself (?): @camelspit @tw-5

On Ao3 (users only because, you know, AI) or below the cut

Previous chapter in case you missed it, but you don't really need it to read this :)

    “You know, if you ignore all the work camps, Sadlitzagvadtka is a lovely place,” Alvar remarks. 

    Ruy’s laugh drags Garwin’s attention from the bubbling Eventide River, bright green as it crashes against the rocks. 

    “I mean, you could say the same thing about the USSR,” Garwin muses. 

    “Yes, but we ignore those parallels, love. I don’t want to have to send you to the gulag.” Alvar replies, crossing one leg over the other as he takes a sip of his choyi. 

    Much like most of the foods of the non-Forbidden Cities, choyi looks nothing like how it tastes. The sludgy green slime is in a direct contrast to its strawberry lemonade milkshake flavor. Although how it doesn’t curdle is apparently “beyond human comprehension.”

    That’s just code for “we don’t know and we don’t want to admit it.” It was annoying at first, but it’s kind of become a running joke. 

    What the rest of the Neverseen doesn’t seem to grasp is that he does the same thing to them whenever he doesn’t feel like telling them about some cursed human shit. 

    They absolutely lost their shit when he told them about Twinkies. If they can’t handle apocalypse-proof snack cakes, there’s a hundred other food crimes several points higher on a logarithmic scale they won’t be able to conceptualize without their pathetic little elvin brains shattering. 

     Like pineapple on pizza. 

    Garwin can’t physically have less of an opinion, but the idea of having to explain the concept to elves makes him want to jump off a cliff. And not in the Sophie-teleportation way. 

    Hey--don’t think about that bitch. First she’s accepted into Yale with a full scholarship and now she has four abilities. Apparently she’s some sort of science experiment. I hope they transposed a decimal place. 

    “What am I in for tomorrow?” Garwin asks after a moment of silence. 

    Alvar opens his mouth, but Ruy interrupts him before he gets the chance. “Cállate, mi vida. Sharing any details would be a violation of the Neverseen code article seven, section three, ‘the council is always watching so don’t discuss confidential shit in public.’”

    “I call bullshit. You people are nowhere near organized enough to have an official code.”

    “Well, yes,” Alvar concedes. “But it’s more fun if you don’t know what’s going to happen. Besides, I’m sure Fintan has cooked up some interesting changes from when we swore fealty, so anything we tell you could be completely wrong by now.”

    “Yes, but I’m sure at least one of you have been involved in the planning,” Garwin argues. 

    “We can neither confirm nor deny that,” Ruy says, admitting his guilt. 

    Garwin rolls his eyes. I picked these dumbasses over going to a nice, normal, human, non-ivy league school ? I mean--at least there’s no finals. I guess. 

    He takes a sip of his choyi.

    “I promise it won’t be that painful,” Alvar says in an effort to remedy the situation, earning himself a glare from Ruy. 

    Garwin leans forward, head resting in his cupped hands. “And when did you become such a goody little two shoes rule follower, Exilium boy?”

    Ruy rolls his eyes behind his addler, because of course he has it on. We’re in public--well, sort of, as there literally aren’t any ogres in a hundred foot radius--and that means we’ve gotta wear the addler. 

    It’s like how Garwin also conditioned himself to wear the same sweatshirt almost every single day one school year like it’s his own personal security blanket but we don’t talk about that. 

    But now the elves have stupid capes, so that solves that problem. Even if he doesn’t have an officially licensed Neverseen cape until probably tomorrow. Unless there’s some elaborate scheme being planned. Which of course there will be. This is what happens when you take three or more gay idiots and tell them to plan something. 

    If it ain’t absolute batshit, what’s the fucking point? 

    Alvar’s smile falls as he pulls out his Imparter. He must be getting harassed once again. This is why Garwin doesn’t have one. Well, that, and the fact that he’s not a legal resident of the Lost Cities. Same thing. 

    “Y’all can see that I’m busy right now so I can’t answer a hail, right?” he says tiredly. 

    “Yes, indeed.” Garwin throws back the last of his choyi, smiling. 

    “The Fork Man wants me for some shit and I’m having a good day, so he will be getting ignored for a while. Are we really sure I can’t come out to the Bullshit?” 

    “Bullshit” is Garwin’s nickname for the Black Swan because it both represents their ideology and, at least in English, they can be abbreviated the same way. At least his pathetic short human life will be worth something, even if it is just an inside joke that’s more explanation than it’s worth. 

    “You know what Fintan’s orders are, and if you don’t wanna get burnt to a crisp, I’d recommend following them. Now, that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing. It’s just a matter of self preservation. I don’t make the rules around here. If I did, we’d have to replace more Councillors than just the one.”

    Alvar rolls his eyes at his Imparter. “The Fork Man is being very insistent. I have a feeling I’m gonna have to drop you two off at home and talk to him. Be prepared for some shit to be going down soon, regardless of whether or not I have a chance to share details.” He turns to his imparter, inventing new swear words just to curse at the Fork. 

    Like he said, Alvar drops Ruy and Garwin off at “home”--their assigned room at a Neverseen facility Garwin’s not allowed to know any details about--to much argument. He shan’t be allowed to have all the fun without them but alas, ‘tis the way the world works sometimes. 

    The next morning, Garwin sleepily blinks himself back to the land of the living, snuggled into the crook of Ruy’s neck, but there’s no Alvar to be found. 

    He better fucking be okay. 

    Ruy’s hand absently twirls Garwin’s hair, and when he notices that Garwin is slightly less dead to the world than usual, he smiles. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

    “It’s still morning? Damn. Guess I gotta go back to sleep. Need my beauty rest.”

    “Bitch, no amount of sleep is gonna help.”

    Garwin huffs, turning away from Ruy. “Fuck you.”

    “So soon after last night, mi amor?”

    Garwin leans back to look at him. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”     

    “Yeah.” Ruy presses a soft kiss to his lips. God damn. If you weren’t so fucking hot, J wouldn’t put up with you. Love you, Rue. 

    Garwin kisses him again, pulling him close. 

    Ruy gently pushes him back. “Finny’s gonna be pissed if we miss the prescheduled time.”

    “Fuck Finny.”

    “Look, I get that you’re polyam. I know, no shit, Sherlock. But there is no way I’m going anywhere near him or near you again if you do. Man’s got his own harem.”

    “Ooh, please do elaborate.” 

    “Let’s see…I’ve heard rumors that he and Bronte are or were a thing. Not sure if they’re still a thing though, considering the war crimes, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were. And then have you ever wondered about the alliance with the Ogres? Dimitar. Fintan. Yeah. Then there’s Fallon, one of the original three Councillors. And I’m not completely sure on this one but there’s a prisoner in Lumenaria and I’ve got mixed evidence but I don’t doubt it. Uh, then there’s J.R.R. Tolkien. You might’ve heard of him because he’s a human. And how could we forget Shakespeare. He’s…also a human. If I remember correctly. I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing because I have actively tried to ignore everything, but yeah.”

    With each name, Garwin regrets his life choices more and more. And more. “What the fuck do you mean Shakespeare? Like, the one of the William variety? The playwright?” 

    “Yeah. Sometimes Finny drops into iambic pentameter just to make us suffer. Are you really sure you want to be exposed to all of the Neverseen drama?”

    “Might gouge my eyes out but, eh, whatever. Sounds fun. If Yale doesn’t want me I guess I’ll have to cause large amounts of havoc instead.”

    Ruy smiles. ���I’m going to go foraging for some semblance of a breakfast that doesn’t taste like dogshit. Don’t cause too much havoc while I’m gone.”

    “No promises.”

    Ruy shakes his head as he gets up, joints singing the song of his people--the Rice Crispy elves. 

    Garwin throws on some clothes and inhales breakfast before he’s led to a hideout he’s never seen before. 

    This one is really fucking bleak and really fucking disappointing. There’s probably tetanus on every surface of the grimy, ragged brick walls. It’s the exact kind of place where you should expect to have your body never found, but honestly if they’ve waited this long to kill him, that’s kind of their own poor planning. 

    A set of stairs leads into the even more murder-y looking abyss below. 

    Having no better options, Garwin slowly begins to make his way down without slipping on the mossy, uneven stairs and falling and bonking his head and dying. 

    At the bottom, he finds a room, larger than it seems like it should be, lit entirely by flickering, yellow candlelight. It catches on bottles of what appears to be wine set into racks every few feet or so. 

    He will never admit that this reminds him of a short story he was forced to read--and perhaps even enjoyed reading--in ninth grade English. 

    As Garwin steps closer to the middle of the room where a space has haphazardly cleared, he notices the first of many cloaked figures, white eyed lapels glowing in the dim light.

    In total, around a dozen figures surround him, and he searches for Ruy in the crowd. Well, it’s not exactly a crowd, per se, but it feels like one in the cramped space. 

    It doesn’t take much effort to find him, with his long, dark hair curling out and escaping the hood. 

    That being said, Garwin can tell who most of the figures are without trying. From Umber’s absolutely sunny disposition to Fintan’s concave ass, it’s not exactly difficult. It’s just a little dissatisfying that Alvar isn’t there.

    Fintan lowers his hood like it’s some huge reveal, whispering ominously, “Garwin Chang. You wish to join our order?”

    Garwin nods. “That’s…kind of why I’m down here. Although these wine bottles do look like they could be some fun.”

    A low, overprotective growl echoes behind him as his fingers trace the label written in fancy Trollish. One of the many, many languages not on Duolingo that no one bothered to teach him how to read. Hell, most of the time he can barely read English but that’s an issue for a different day. 

    “I trust you know you’re the first non-member of an intelligent species to join our ranks in a long while,” Fintan says. Garwin’s hand falls to his side. 

    “I wouldn’t exactly call Ruy intelligent, but okay.”

    That got a couple of snickers out of the crowd and a death glare from Ruy despite most of his face being cast in shadow. 

    “Well, you got me there. I was prepared to make a convoluted line of reasoning like I’m hopped up on a cola before all of those pesky safety regulations were introduced, but you made it for me instead.”

    Wait, is he an old man bitching about New Coke or is referring to when the recipe had cocaine? Or just…caffeine? And sugar? Any of the above interpretations are fucking hilarious, so it doesn’t matter which is true. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an objectively best answer. 

    “The rest of the requirements are simple: do you promise to do everything in your power to help our world?”

    “Yeah, sure. Why not?” Garwin shrugs, smirking. 

    “Convince me.” Fintan’s icy gaze stares into Garwin’s soul. A threat behind his words.

    “I’ve been seeing Alvar and Ruy for months on end now. Do you really think I would go through all of that if I wasn’t committed? I could’ve blackmailed my way into a Yale scholarship long ago, but I’ve stayed. And for what? Because I almost care about this place not being a shithole. Also because there aren’t any taxes but we don’t need to mention that.”

    “Yeah, the cost of living is real fucking low when you’re mooching off of Alvar,” Ruy mutters. 

    Cállate. 

    …Holy fuck, Ruy has infected my brain. I don’t like this. How dare he keep sprinkling Spanish into everyday conversation? It’s like he wants to prove that he’s not an idiot to this human idiot because he knows, like, four words in a human language.     

    In reality, it’s because he lived in an undisclosed Spanish-speaking country during his time at Exilium and hasn’t broken the habit. But why be reasonable when you can be petty and bitter because he knows more Spanish than you do even after taking it for three years? 

    To be completely fair, he didn’t pay attention and convinced a kid to send him pictures of the homework and cheated on the tests, but in his defense, he didn’t realize he’d need it later in life. At least Google Translate exists all of its glorious inaccuracy. 

    “I bestow upon thee thou official codename: Elay.” Fintan says, bowing his head. “Alvar came up with it so don’t ask me what it means. Normally each person gets to pick out their own, but he was insistent and it’s not important enough to me to argue with him.”

    Yeah, that sounds about right. Gonna have to ask Alvar about it later. Maybe he’s avoiding me because he doesn’t want a full interrogation in the middle of this murder chamber. Yeah--let’s go with that. It’s better than imagining him in a Black Swan murder chamber. 

    Fintan takes a metal rod and heats it until it glows a faint red, bright in the dim light, knighting Garwin. And thankfully not sizzling his ears off in the process. 

    Fintan nods at a hooded figure Garwin only knows by his codename and that he’s a guster. “Trix, if you please?”

    Trix hands Garwin a bundle of dark fabric, emblazoned with a bright white eye. 

    It unfolds like the little bitch folded things always are, causing unattached pieces of concerningly neon fabric to fall to the ground. 

    As Garwin reaches to pick them up, it becomes all too clear that they’re not only bright pink and orange but also a very, very 80s leotard and legwarmers.

    What the actual everliving fuck?

    …and also maybe Fintan did mean New Coke. 

    It’s up to the stars above to decide which is a worse revelation. 

    “You know, Ruy, if you wanted me to wear this, you could’ve just asked. No need for all of this.”

    Ruy flips him off. He’s probably glare-smiling behind the hood though. 

    Garwin drapes the cloak part of the Neverseen uniform around his shoulders. It’s wonderfully heavy, like a weighted blanket, but surprisingly breathable. It’s probably made from a gnomish fabric which is weird because the gnomes hate their guts as much as plants are capable of hate. 

    And now I’ll finally be allowed to know why that is.

     The crowd begins shifting around him, escaping slowly up the narrow steps and light leaping away to god knows where, and soon only Ruy and Garwin are left. 

    “I got an update from Alvar,” Ruy smiles mischievously. “This should be a fun first assignment for you.”

     No fewer than three light leaps later, Garwin is in the Lodestar system, standing in front of a blonde boy with ice blue eyes. He’s immediately recognizable from Alvar’s stash of pictures he keeps to pretend like he’s still connected to his family. 

    He also knows Sophie, a regrettable decision. 

    “Meet our new son: Keefe,” Alvar says, mussing his hair. 

    Keefe flinches away. “Bitch, I’m literally only, like, six years younger than you,” he complains. “Also hasn’t my dad fucked your dad?” He puts air quotes around both uses of “Dad.” Fun family dynamic and it hasn’t even been five minutes yet. 

    “I do believe I was the one who told you about that.” Alvar turns to Ruy and Garwin. “I’ll take first shift babysitting.”

    “Nonsense. I don’t trust Garwin nearly enough to be by himself and you’ve been up all night causing problems and destroying half of Ravagog--”

    “--which is a perfectly normal way to spend an evening, thank you very much.”

    “--so you will be going home and you will take a nap. I’ll make sure Blondie here doesn’t have any tricks up his sleeve.”

    There’s a glint on Alvar’s eye that looks like he wants to argue, but a yawn cuts him off before he gets the chance. 

    Garwin almost has to physically drag him back home, partially from him being tired and partially from him not wanting to go to bed because some days he acts like a toddler. 

    “Sorry I couldn’t be at your coronation today.”

    Garwin kisses his cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure sooner or later, Ruy’s gonna end up doing a whole reenactment except I actually get walled into the wine cellar this time.”

    Alvar laughs halfheartedly. 

    “And, besides. It’s not like it’s gonna change much. Do I still hate the elvin government? Yes. Is the Bullshit still a bunch of useless dumbasses? Yes. Are you still going to tell me shit that’s way above my pay grade? Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s just now I don’t have to steal your cape when it’s cold out. But I will anyway for old times’ sake.” 

    “Unmapped stars, you’re such a little shit.”

    Well, if you can’t make your boyfriend regret being with you, what’s the fucking point? 

  “And yet you’ve repeatedly chosen to not leave me to die in the middle of the neutral territories. So who’s the real winner here?”

    Alvar sighs, shaking his head. 

    God damn, he’s cute when he’s annoyed. 

[neighboringheart]

OKAY Y'ALL ARE LEARNING ABOUT THEM TODAY

I already posted about them a while back but a lot of changes have happened since then so I'm making a new post with the updated designs

These are my OCs Trailhead and Turnpike

for clarification's sake: the original linework I did for them was traced from a panel of Dominus in mtmte bc I'm not great at robot anatomy and it was a good neutral pose (lmk if y'all wanna see the original concept bc it was bad lmao) but they're mostly just for visual reference so I prob won't be posting art of them again now that their designs are like finalized in my head unless I commission someone at some point

they are both beastformers with a turbofox alt and they're from the Cybertron of the universe that the Lost Light warps to (at least in this lil AU)

their Cybertron is lush with robotic flora and fauna and as an extension all the Cybertronians there emerge with beast alt-modes and for a long time lived amongst the wildlife themselves in mixed communities of Cybertronians and their respective mechanimals

Trailhead is very excitable and a huge flirt but also a vain coward who often has to cower behind his brother when things get tense especially bc his aim sucks

Turnpike is stoic and stubborn but they're very protective of their brother and their home and they're a trained fighter whose preferred weapons are their two swords they usually keep clipped onto their back

I'ma give y'all the little drabble I wrote that's like a prologue to where the fic I'm planning begins bc the actual fic starts when they meet the Lost Light in space but I wrote this thing while brainstorming forever ago and it'll help set the scene a lil better

-

The beastformers lived in small communities for a very long time amongst the wildlife of Cybertron until Optimus Primal arrived. He began to unite the communities one by one and convinced them to leave behind their wild brethren to form something new, something much larger than themselves.

Many resisted the idea, but minds were changed when the blight befell them. This blight caused Cybertronians everywhere to revert to their alt-modes permanently, no longer able to speak or think at the capacity they once were. The people were terrified, and in their terror, they turned to the one who offered them hope, solidarity, safety. Primal brought them all together to search for a cure and to build a grand society that could expand beyond the wilds from which they came.

Before long, huge cities were built, research dedicated to finding a way to restore their lost peers. No one knew what caused the blight, every case appearing so random. It didn’t matter from where someone hailed, where they lived, their size, their alt-mode, their occupation. Any and all were at risk of the blight taking hold.

Many figured that it was only a matter of time, their efforts wasted. But many more clung to the promise of a better future, Primal supporting them all in any way that he could.

Darkness fell when one day, Primal’s beloved, Megatron, was befallen with the blight. Primal had been inconsolable for some time, many mourning alongside him for though Megatron was mighty and fearsome, he was gentle and kind to all of his subjects. It was a dark time, but it brought them all closer together.

They began to research beyond cures, looking into traveling beyond their skies. It would be necessary. With Megatron’s fall, so too did the natural energon wells across the planet begin to dry up one by one. Hot spots went cold all over the planet and it weighed heavily on them all. It was as though Primus himself had given up on his creations. They’d been left to rust on their wild planet, unable to do anything but claw for survival.

From this world is where we meet the protagonists of our tale, Trailhead and Turnpike. The two of them once lived not far from the great tree, members of a skulk of both fellow turbofox beastformers and plain turbofoxes alike. They all enjoyed the plentiful fruit that offshoots of the great tree produced, the soft skin swollen with sweet energon. It had been a wonderful life, their friends were plenty and peaceful. Never had there been a night when the two hadn’t curled up on one another, slumbering in their scruffy alt-modes.

It had been perfect until it all began to crumble. One by one, their friends became confused, their memories muddled, becoming worse and worse until they could no longer remember how to return to their root forms.

They were trapped in their alt-modes, the loss of their memories leaving them feral and aggressive. Turnpike wept as their closest friends disappeared, not even able to say a final goodbye. Trailhead hadn’t the time to mourn, too busy trying to figure out what had happened, news from nearby settlements speaking of the blight and the pain it wrought. Seemingly overnight, Trailhead and Turnpike were the only beastformers that remained of their skulk, and that was when he arrived.

Optimus Primal himself came to offer them a new home. Looking into the eyes of the turbofoxes that they had called brothers, it hurt to consider it, but they knew they had to leave. Trailhead knew that with the wisdom of others like himself, he may yet be able to save their lost friends. There was no other choice.

With a sorrowful goodbye, they boarded Primal’s vessel and their home faded into the distance behind them, Trailhead finally crumbling beneath his grief in Turnpike’s arms. They would find a way, no matter what it took.

-

and then last of all, here's Turnpike without the mask and visor bc they do retract

[yellow-the-alien]

(just wanna preface this by saying that i’m yellow from @rainbowlemonslices and i made this blog so i can ramble about my stuff without clogging up the system blog lol)

ok so as a first post on the side blog, i wanna rant about a possible star wars kintype and hearthome that i might have because i think it might interest people? i dunno but it’s very long so imma put it under the cut

so this whole star wars thing that’s going on all started with the fact that we’re vacationing at disney world, which has a place called something along the lines of star wars land. prior to this trip, i had no idea what star wars land was, and hardly knew anything about star wars. however, my fellow headmates had been talking about it so i decided to ask about it. the moment i was shown what it looked like i was shocked because it looked so familiar, despite the fact that i had never been there before. i did some research on a lot of different things, such as star wars species and planets, and learned that the place where star wars land is set is called “batuu”. everything felt so familiar, but i wasn’t sure if this star wars thing was right.

so, all throughout the day i only had one thing on my mind, and that was batuu. my idea was that going into batuu would help me know if this star wars thing was actually true. it took a little while, but eventually we were able to go in. and the moment i entered i just felt like i was at home. it was so overwhelming that i was just in shock the entire time, and had to have a headmate help me mask. i could’ve sworn that i’d been there before, and it was such an exciting yet slightly terrifying feeling. for the first time since i got on earth, i felt like i was home. the ships, items and and environment just felt so real and so comforting. i felt like i had know that place my entire life. i still am not sure how to put this experience into words.

after we had to leave, i realized what had happened and that hit me like a train. i had been to my home, and i had no idea (and still have no idea) that hen i’ll ever be going back. that was the most homesick i’ve ever felt in my entire life. i was so happy and yet so upset at the same time. it was incredible.

however, this still brings up complications. i found a species that really fit with me, but there very little information on them and i have no clue how or why one of that species would even get to batuu, much less how one would feel like their home is batuu.

i have many more questions that i want to find answers to, and that’s okay. if you’ve decided to read this entire post, the basic general message of this is that sometimes, when you think you know yourself, the world will throw something new at you, and that’s okay. you don’t need to immediately know everything about yourself all the time. not knowing all there is to know about yourself is perfectly okay, and everyone is trying to figure themselves out, so you’re not alone, if that makes any sense.

please lmk if i need to change anything about this, or if you have any questions! i’m still not 100% sure how tumblr works or anything so yeah:)

also it took tumblr several days to actually let this show up in tags so i’m reposting it, this was written a few days ago

[alwaysdreamer-u]

There is blood on the floor

Summary: Wonder returns home after a long day at work to find an unexpected guest.

Warnings: Mentions of blood, mentions of injury and mentions of death.

Short One shot of an idea i had for my lmk oc Wonder.

The door to her apartment welcomed her, a feeling of peace washing over her she could feel her muscles relaxing with every step she took. With a lot of work she took the keys out of her pocket, her fingers clumsily searched for the right key to be able, once and for all, to enter the place she calls home. When she opened the door she expected to find a completely dark place, perhaps the moonlight giving her some visibility, but that was not the case.

The lights were all on.

This woke her up, her muscles tensing 'I've never been robbed before' she thought confusedly entering slowly so as not to alert the possible intruder.

She strained her hearing hoping to catch some sound.

Footsteps to her right coming from the bathroom, along side the sound of flosshing 'really? they still dare to use my bathroom?' She thought, annoyed.

The anger started bubbling inside her as the thought of someone thinking of her as something to not worry about. Her chest started to glow with a dim red light, warm spreading from it to her arms and hands, she was ready to punsh however this was so hard it would leave a hole on the wall.

She walked slowly towards the door, prepared to end all of this in one fell swoop. Her steps as quiet as she could make them.

The door opened slowly, Wonder didn't gave the intruder time to see her as she let out the first blow. She waited for the sensation of a face colliding with her fist but instead a hand grabbed her by the wrist.

In a few seconds her whole body was turned sharply, she was in the air and then her face came down quickly against the floor.

Her hitting hand behind in a twist, being held by the intruder.

She could feel a ping of panic rasing inside of her, her vision turning blurry as the anger and fear started trying to take control over her body. In the far back of her mind screams of people could be heard.

'It's happening again' she thought to tiered to even stop it.

"Petal?" Her brother's voice made her body tense and then relax. “What were you trying to do?” he asked chuckling as he let go of her arm and help her up.

It took her a few seconds to respond, her breaths calming down as she looked at his brothers eyes. “I thought you were an intruder” Wonder responded adverting her gaze, fearful he would see what she didnt want him to see.

“I didn't know you would come to visit, you should have told me before." she exclamed walking past him back to the living room.

There was a low chuckle and then silence, she dindt worry, her brother wasn't the talkative type and she didn't mind it, usually she would be the one filling the silence but tonight she was to tiered to do so.

The shot of adrenaline for before leaving her even more exhausted than before.

“Where is all that blood from?” Magis's voice dropped a couple of tones, concerned.

She froze.

Ofcourse he would notice, heck anyone would notice, she was sure she got a couple of concerned and fearfull glances as she made her way home.

She just was to tiered to even care; she actully wouldnt care even if she was completely rested. Other's people thoughts don't affect her.

But Magi's...

“You noticed?” She said, laughing a little, trying to minimize the tension, but Magis didn't change his expression.

“It's not mine,” she said, sighing and moving past him to enter the bathroom once again, her hand reaching for the hot water faucet.

“I already know that” Magis responded walking closer to her and stopping her from opening the water, making sure Wonder was paying attention to him.

His whole body was tense, his eyes intense looking into hers for answers.

Wonder felt a shiver go up her spine, she hated it when Magis got like that, although she was also one of the things she admired about him. “Whatever you're thinking, it's not what you think.” Wonder sat on the edge of the bathtub not letting go of his hand, lika a support.

He stood there waiting for her to elaborated.

“Do you remember that I told you that I don't have a permanent job?”

Magis nodded.

“Normally these jobs have to do with construction, because of my strength,” she explained, and as if neede to be demostrated she flexed her arm “I'm usually quite helpful.”

“Well, today's work was something related to this, I had to demolish a building and also help move heavy materials to different areas of the construction”

Magis raised an eyebrow. “Where did the blood come from then?”

Wonder showed a tired smile "not everything went as planned" she let out a sigh. Remembering what had happened exhausted her even more "it turns out that the place where we were working was a sacred one" as she said the last word she made quotes with her fingers.

“It wasn't anyone really important, just some guys wanting to feel important,” she continued explaining so as not to upset her brother, his job is to hunt down these types of “entities.” Creatures with high magical power that cause disturbances.

“But that didn't stop them from attacking and injuring many of those who were there. Most of the workers were human so you can imagine the scene.”

“Did you fight it?” Magis came closer to her this time to inspect her better, concern written al over his face even with him trying not to let it through.

“At first, but it was very difficult for me with everyone there, I didn't want anyone else to get hurt.” Wonder clenched her fists tightly, her chest beginning to give a faint red glow again.

“It was frustrating.”

Magis turned the hand he had in his and slowly opened her fist, he put both his thumbs in the middle of her palm and started massaging it “you did the best you could. We can't always save everyone.”

Wonders eyes were focused on the action, the red glow fadding completly.

Magis caressed her head “why didn't you call me?” he asked softly “I would have arrived in seconds.”

“Wuclone,” Wonder smiled softly “ he appeared out of nowhere and started beating the guy up like a mad man”

“I don't know how or why, but he always ends up in the least expected places.” Magis giggled.

“And I am very grateful for that,” Wonder commented, tears starting to form at the edge of her eyes, a blueish glow now present on her chest “If he hadn't arrived, I…”

A sob left her not being able to contain her stress anymore.

It was so difficult to stay strong aroudn him, he always made her feel like she was a small cub again.

"I was so close to loosing control" she said between sobs, both her hands now covering her face shamefully.

She felt him embrassing her, hugging her tightly "but it didn't happened" he said softly almost as a whisper.

“I didn't want to, b-but my head began to fill with noise and the anger was to much, like all i could feel was thi need to destroy them” she started rambling, the crying becoming more intense as she kept talking "I no longer cared about anythign around me, I just kept punching and hurting".

Her jaw tremble, a pained cry leaving her lips stopping her words abruptly "everything turne red, it was taking control"

"I felt like I was loosing myself" she whispered in a sharp inhale.

“Hey, hey, that's never going to happen, not while I'm here.” Magis took her face between his hands and lifted her face looking straight into her eyes. “I'll never let that happen to you” her eyes widden and a new set of tears strated streaming down her already wet cheeks.

She launch herself back into his chest huggin him, her body trembling violently. Her crying becoming more intense as well.

But Magis didn't say a thing, his arms rested on each side of her body, holding her, grounding her. He would occasionally coo her to calmed her down, rubbing lovingly her head.

She felt safe.

As long as he was there for her, she would be fine.

They would be fine.

The trembles stopped after a few minutes, she was still crying but it was less of a mess. Slowly she rised from his chest, smilling softly.

“So, the blood is yours then?” Magis finally spoke, his hands not leaving hers.

Wonder shook her head “While Wuclone was fighting, I moved as many of the wounded and dead as I could,” she explained with raspy voice "and well, also the guys I did manage to you know" she said shamlesly as she motion a knife going through her throat.

Magis gave her an understanding smile. “you did very well" he rubbed her head again "I'm very proud of you Wonder"

She smiled widely towards him.

Her face scrunched violently as her nose took notice of the scent inseide her bathroom, not noticing that she left a trail of blood around her floors and also all over her brothers clothes.

The stentch of blood was heavy and disgusting.

Wonder smiled slightly "I should take a bath, I can't stand the smell of blood anymore."

Magis chuckled as he reach for the faucet and opened the water "indeed you should" he got up and gave her a last head pat "the stench is penetrating".

[kyogre-blue]

Hmmm....I'll try to pen down my train of thought, lmk if it doesn't make sense:

I guess I just don't see how Ei could have made that pointed 'those who have lost their lives are those who insisted in pursuing their ambitions' if she didn't know that people HAVE lost their lives like that (it's Oddly Specific, when the Traveler has been INCREDIBLY vague when telling her how the vision hunt Actually Affected People) and the only examples we know of are 1. Tomo 2. Teppei and maybeee some of the "not so fortunate" Delusion bearers in the resistance (can't really tell if that was Kokomi's tactful way of saying "they died" or the weird "This Is War But Nobody Dies!" Filter)

The resistance which, canonically, includes people who lost their visions and still chose to fight, and if that doesn't sound like the textbook definition of what Ei is describing... (plus the Traveler immediately goes 'Teppei' as a repsonse, so you are indeed meant to think about the resistance here)

Then Ei, on the heels of that convo, brings up that she knows what the Fatui are up to—which, given that if you choose to tell her that "the Fatui have deceived the Raiden Shogun" she IMMEDIATELY goes "pfft you small-minded mortal fool, I know more than you about the actions they take" with no confusion or follow-up questions, I thought that meant she did know about the Delusions—that, following her explanation, she doesn't purge them because they're only distributing to those who would grab for that power in order to pursue their ambitions.

I think it's the change in tense that bugs me—switching between "nobody will lose their life" and "those who have died" instead of an easy, flat "nobody has died" strikes me as odd. It makes me think that this is Ei saying "Okay, so people have died, but as soon as they stop this silly fighting and roll over quietly they won't die anymore" (victim blaming, ahoy!)

.........laying it out like that makes me realise that this can all be explained by 1. genshin writers not knowing that in a conversation there's never an unnanounced switch to an unrelated topic, because otherwise a topic only gets brought up if it's related to the current one even if only tangentially. And 2. Genshin writers forgetting to write from the character's limited perspective instead of their own, which is very likely given they have a horrible track record keeping track of what characters should or shouldn't know (see the Traveler, life-sucking delusions, character stories, what books are public knowledge, the knights of favonius somehow not recognising dvalin despite having lisa AND albedo AND a close working relationship with the church, AND Dvalin being able to speak for himself)

Well, it was a cool house of cards I had built up from an in-universe perspective, I'd like to think...

tbh I'm not terribly interested in interrogating the details here because 1) it's badly written no matter what, 2) I genuinely do not care.

Inazuma never really managed to get me emotionally engaged for a variety of reasons, but it completely lost my interest once we hit Act 3. I didn't care about Teppei, I can't stand Yae, Kazuha's big moment was a joke, Signora was a mess of disappointment, and the entire shogun business was incredibly limp-wristed at best.

One thing I will say is to caution against getting too caught up in examining the small details of the dialogue. It's tempting to do so, but that's a quick way to get stuck on a headcanon that is not actually real.

The EN translation of Genshin is not awful but it's not great either. The details might just be wrong. They got Kusanali's gender wrong initially, remember that? They translated the first half dozen references to "the Heavenly Principles" in a half dozen different ways before they gave in and started just directly calling them that. They translated a reference to the Abyss Order's homeland (Khaenri'ah) as the sibling's homeland.

Not to mention that Genshin's writing is not particularly clear in general. People were thinking that Zhongli created Azhdaha's body when he only gave him sight. And remember Albedo's entire convoluted dialogue in the second Dragonspine event? The one we still don't really know what it meant?

It's fun to speculate, but just keep this in mind.

[danakin-skywalker]

Marked (Danny Wagner Smut)

Warning: NSFW 18+ content, choking

Taglist: @flowervanfleet @weightofdreams-gvf @sierraahhhh @jakekiszska @amourleger @theweightofstardust @samkiszkabreakmyback @prettyintopeerpressure @greta-flanveet @fosterkidwiththebrokenjaw @the-chaotic-cow @ghostly-luck @mywaysooon @tlexx @screechesincoherently @garagebandvanfleet​ @gretavanhoney​ @stardustdanny​ @joshysgf​ @cowboysamkiszka​ and potentially you, just lmk!!

(A/N): GUESS WHO FINALLY BUCKLED DOWN AND WROTE A DANNY SMUT!!! YOUR FAVORITE DANNY GIRL THATS WHO

I know I literally just put out a Danny fic but I felt this was called for because I’ve been seeing entirely too much Danny slander on my social media platforms so I would like to aid the situation in the only way I know how- by writing an elaborate sex scene. Also this Y/N is kind of coded to be demisexual, which is something I’ve personally been looking into for myself but I figured I’d just drop little hints in case anyone has been looking for that kind of rep in fics. Not that that’s really the focal point in this fic, I just figured it’d be nice to get that kind of representation in a fic that’s not like ALL about it ya know? Does that make sense?

Anyway please enjoy this porn (with a small side of plot)

******************************************

Marked

Once you started dating Danny, it wasn’t often you thought about all the time you spent waiting for someone like him to come along. 

You hadn’t really gotten around much before him, for little reason beyond the fact that you were really only attracted to very few people. You liked to form a connection first, feel some actual chemistry before getting down and dirty. Otherwise it was hard for you to find pleasure in the act.

That was certainly not a problem anymore as you and Danny were downright electric together. Even his bandmates noticed, dropping little comments about the way Danny’s demeanor changes when you’re around. You felt very lucky to have him in your life, and felt very loved by him at every turn.

But there were certain things you felt like you missed out on during your lonely adolescence. Some more embarrassing to admit than others.

You don’t know what it is about hickies. You’ve always seen them on your friends and other people in passing by, and noted to yourself how lucky they are that they’ve found someone willing to mark them in the heat of passion. It’s juvenile, quite literally, but you always found yourself wistfully hoping that one day it would be you parading around with marks on your neck from someone who loved you.

You certainly didn’t doubt that Danny loved you. He made sure to tell you regularly, made sure you felt it regularly. But, as a public figure, he always had to be mindful of appearances. Sure, sometimes he would grip your hips so tightly he’d leave little fingerprint-shaped bruises. And sometimes you wouldn’t be able to help yourself in raking your nails down his back (or even his front) as he rammed into you relentlessly.

But that didn’t stop your breath from hitching in anticipation every time his lips ghosted across your neck, peppering open-mouthed kisses all around. And it didn’t stop the slight twinge in disappointment you felt as he quickly moved on from the area.

One night, you must have been a bit too obvious in your feelings as you let out a sigh that made Danny’s head snap up to face you. “What?” You asked, confused by his sudden change of pace.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“You sighed.”

You smirked, trying frantically to conceal your thoughts. “How unusual for me in this situation.” You responded sarcastically, making Danny shake his head and prop himself up on his elbows to get a better look at you.

“No, that wasn’t one of those sighs. Trust me, I know those ones. You sounded... Disappointed?” He knit his brows together as his eyes darted around your face for an indication in how you were feeling.

“It’s... It’s stupid, Danny. You did nothing wrong. It’s fine. Just keep going.” You reached a hand up to brush some of his hair behind his ears as he peered down at you.

He tilted his head at you, “Would you want to continue if I made a noise like that and didn’t offer explanation?”

Okay, fair.

You let out another sigh and ran your hands through your own hair, searching for the words. Finally, you landed on, “I just... I wish you felt like you could mark me, that’s all.” It came out as a mumble as you turned away from Danny’s gaze, cheeks flushing red. It felt ridiculous to say. Who asks for love bites?

You were pulled out of the pit of self pity you were quickly descending into by Danny’s hand pulling your chin back so that you were facing him. His eyes were considerably softened and he had a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I... I didn’t know you were into that. I just figured since you can’t give me any it wouldn’t be fair to give you hickies.”

You shrugged your shoulders (as best you could, given your current position back-down on the bed), “I don’t know, I guess I’ve just never had someone I cared about enough to want to... you know... walk around marked as theirs. It sounds childish, I know. You don’t have to.”

Danny smiled warmly down at you, elbows slowly faltering to allow him to brush noses with you. “Sweetheart, there is absolutely nothing I’d like more than for you to walk around marked as mine. All you had to do was ask.”

His lips softly slotted against yours once again and you wrapped your hands around his neck to pull him all the way against you, feeling his weight on top of yours and humming in content. 

Danny started kissing his way across your cheek and onto your jawline and you felt your heart rate pick up. 

“Don’t you ever feel like you can’t tell me what you want.” He murmured between kisses as he made his way down to your neck, hands following suit as they snaked their way down your body. “My baby deserves everything she wants. And if what my baby wants is some love bites, well...” He paused to lick a slow, sinful stripe up the side of your neck, making you shudder under his touch. 

“Then love bites are what she’s gonna get.” He finished, whispering in your ear before plunging back down to your neck. 

You let out a gasp as you felt his teeth scrape gently against the sensitive skin, instinctively reaching up to grab the back of his head and hold it into place. You could feel him chuckle for just a moment against your neck, but before you had any opportunity to feel self-conscious he latched himself further onto you, alternating between harsh sucking, gentle nips, and soothing brushes of the tongue. 

He readjusted his body to fit between your legs and he lowered himself back down onto you, making you whimper at the feeling of him pressing down where you needed him. His hand, which had come up to brace the other side of your neck, snaked down to cup your breast. He massaged you, flicking and twisting at your nipple while he continued his assault on your neck. You couldn’t help but buck your hips up slightly at the sensation, which only made him sink his teeth further into you and rut his own hips back. 

You felt him pull back slightly for a moment, probably admiring his own handiwork, before he inched down a little further and got to work on another, this time closer to your collarbone. His hips started forming a steady rhythm as both of you got more and more worked up. You used your free hands to undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt and slide it off his shoulders. You had been waiting for him to come home from the studio tonight, dressed in nothing but an already-discarded bathrobe after you had exited your shower. He, on the other hand, was still dressed, and it wasn’t lost on you in the slightest how absolutely delicious the denim of his jeans felt against your soaking wet core. 

But you needed more. 

“Danny please,” You whined, tugging on his hair to make him emerge from your neck with a raised eyebrow. 

“Oh, baby, I’m not even close to done with you yet.”

He used his nose to nudge your face to the side slightly to plant his lips on the other side of your neck. You opened your mouth to protest, tell him he didn’t have to make a whole night out of your request, but you were quickly met by his fingertips grazing your lips. You watched as his relaxed fingers turned into two pointed ones and your eyes darkened as you realized what he was doing.

Tentatively (and blindly, from deep within your neck) he pressed the two fingers past your lips and you took them enthusiastically into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around them and hollowed your cheeks to suction them deeper, making Danny moan against you before slipping them back out.

Danny readjusted himself slightly so that he was straddling just your left leg as his fingers trailed down your body, inching closer and closer to your heat as he continued to suckle on the sensitive skin on your neck.

As his finger finally made contact with your core, you let out a breathy moan and pulled his hair in your hands slightly, making him heave a heavy breath out his nose across the back of your neck. It was all so stimulating, you couldn’t keep your eyes open as you drank in his touch.

He started swirling the tips of his fingers around your clit, careful not to add too much pressure too early. You writhed your hips against him, inadvertently moving your thigh from under his groin and making him sigh against you. He bit down on your neck before lifting his head up to press his lips against your ear. “Does that feel good, baby?” He grunted, pressing his hips further down onto your thigh as his fingers worked against you.

You can only nod in response as you whine through the sensation, hand reaching up to stroke Danny’s arm encouragingly. He pressed several kisses down your sternum, gently lowering himself a bit before sinking his teeth into the soft swell of your left breast. You let out a sigh only to be followed by a sharp intake of breath as his fingers slid through your entrance. “Oh, Danny that feels so good.” You finally answered, looking down to meet his gaze as he left mark after mark on your chest. His eyes bore into yours and you felt your heart (and your core) flutter in response as he wiggled and stretched his digits inside of you.

His fingers moved faster with each little noise you made and although you were on cloud nine, you couldn’t help but notice the bulging tent in his pants. You reached your hand that was interlaced in his hair down to his crotch, palming him heavily. He stopped his work on your chest, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against you as he reveled in the sensation of just your hand on him. You moved your other hand down to undo his pants and free his throbbing cock into your hand, stroking it gently. “Baby...” He whispered, voice raspy with desire. 

You reached another hand up to the crown of his head, pulling his hair slightly to draw his eyes up to yours. You wordlessly beckoned him back up to your lips and he obliged, his stiff member now slotting against your folds haphazardly at the change in position as his lips crash landed onto yours. You wrestled with his tongue as his hips ground into yours, making you mewl into his mouth. You dug your fingernails into his scalp and pulled him closer. But after a few moments, he pulled back to line himself up with your entrance and gently press himself in. 

He was only a few inches in when he leaned back down to be right up against you, pressing his lips against the underside of your jaw. You let out a loud moan as he slowly filled you to the brim, adjusting to his size as his lips continued working on your neck once more. You could only imagine how many blood vessels of yours he had burst by now. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care, because if this was how enthusiastic he was gonna be when you asked him for something, it certainly bode well for your future. 

He pulled back after a few moments of stillness before reaching up behind your head and grabbing the headboard. You gulped as you realized he was about to fuck you to shreds. He looked down at you and smirked for a moment before driving his hips back and slamming into you. You hardly recognized the almost-scream that came out of you, a hand moving to fly over your mouth in surprise. This only widened Danny’s smirk as he reached his other hand out and ripped yours away from your face.

“No no no, baby. Let me hear it. Tell me exactly how I make you feel.” He breathed out before moving his hand from yours to your hip. With a firm grip set, he started thrusting into you with a quick and breathtaking pace. Your mouth quickly fell open in pleasure, breath caught in your chest at the feeling.

You reached your hands up to rest where his neck met his shoulders, gripping him firmly in search of some sort of grounding. “Fuck, Danny, just like that. You fill me up so good.” You moaned, struggling to keep your eyes open as he met your words with contorted faces of pleasure, his eyes even briefly rolling back into his head. It was worth the struggle, seeing those faces. He wasn’t always the most vocal but he absolutely was expressive, it was worth the conscious effort to keep your eyes open. Especially when he was on top of you, and his hair cascaded around your field of vision like a canopy on a bed, encapsulating you and him in your own little world closed off from the rest of it all. You lived for the struggle. 

You watched his eyes fall onto your neck, biting his lip at the sight. “Oh you should see yourself right now. All marked up. Guys on the street are gonna wonder what lucky son of a bitch gets to mark up this gorgeous girl.” He groaned. He picked his hand off the bedframe and leaned in closer so his nose was touching yours, newly freed hand snaking up your torso to wrap lightly around your throat, relishing in the toothy smile that crosses your face at the sensation. 

“Who do you belong to? Who’s the only person who gets to mark you up like this? Who makes you feel this good?” His voice raised slightly with each question, only drawing the knot in your stomach tighter with each word. 

“You,” You gasped out. “Only you, Danny. Fuck, I’m all yours.” You bit your lip as you felt the beginnings of an orgasm come over your system, heaving heavy breaths almost directly into his mouth as he hovered over you. “Baby, I’m so close.” You whimpered against his lips.

Danny’s mouth dropped open in satisfaction at your words, hand closing tighter around your windpipe. “Good. You’re such a good girl for me. You wanna cum all over this cock for me, baby?”

You struggled to nod against the force of his hand as you reached your own hand down to play with your clit. Danny followed your hand with his eyes, leaning back again to stare in wonder at the sight of him thrusting into you while you touched yourself. 

“Fuck, you drive me wild, Y/N.” He murmured, left hand stroking up your leg to the sensitive skin on your inner thigh. “No one takes me like you, baby.”

You finally allowed your eyes to roll back as his words caused your orgasm to crash into you full-force. You cried out at the sensation, hands flying up to Danny’s hand around your neck as he fucked you through your climax. After a few moments, his hold loosened as you felt him pull out of you and finish on your stomach with a few particularly heavy breaths and a yelp of your name, his hand still firmly clutching your inner thigh.

You sat still for a moment, stars in your eyes from the mind-shattering orgasm you just experienced. You hardly noticed Danny get up until you felt the bed dip again with his weight as he approached with a T-shirt to clean you up. He kissed your stomach in the spot where he came after he had cleaned it up, before clambering up to the top of the bed to pull you into his arms. 

“Feeling better?” He asked, in an almost teasing voice. “Fulfilled?”

You pulled back a bit to smirk at him, “Well, you tell me. It’s not like I can exactly see.”

He reached over to the bedstand next to his bed and grabbed his phone, swiping on the camera button and handing it to you. You held the phone a few inches away from yourself and couldn’t fight the smile on your face as you got a full view of your neck and chest. He certainly marked you up alright, there were over a dozen bright red marks all along your collarbones and pulse points and the tops and sides of your breasts. You turned your head to each side to get a good view of the ones he left behind your ears, before settling on a centered view for a few moments. You beamed at the sight. “I’m yours.” You mumbled to yourself, reaching a hand up to trace lightly on the tender skin. 

Before you knew it, Danny’s finger was darting over to the phone and pressing the “capture” button on the camera screen, taking a picture of your current state. Your head whipped over at him accusatorily. “Hey!”

He chuckled and put his phone back on the nightstand, “What? It’s just my phone, and maybe sometimes I’d like a little reminder of what’s mine too. Since I can’t walk around marked as yours.” He reasoned, snuggling his face into your neck and pressing soft kisses over the bruises he’d left. 

You wrapped your arms around him and reached up to stroke his hair. “You’re mine anyway. Even if the marks aren’t visible.” You whispered. 

You could feel him smile against your neck.

“That’s right. I’m all yours, and you’re all mine.” He mumbled, fatigue heavy in his voice as he pulled you closer into him.

You let your eyes flutter closed as your body felt the weight of your previous activities. 

You couldn’t wait to wake up tomorrow and assess the damage on your neck.

[1101001]

THE GIRL WHO FLEW DOWN THE STAIRS _

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‘ the story of akashi meeting you and all the events after that made him realize he was falling for you ’

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character .. akashi seijuurou

word count .. 1.3k

tags .. fem!reader who is energetic but also thoughtful and likes to learn (as requested) , lowkey pining? , s h o g i , written from akashi pov , requested by the lovely bean anon <3 

Akashi’s first impression of you wasn’t anything bad. It wasn’t exactly good either. It was certainly memorable though. ‘The girl who flew down the stairs, knocking him onto the ground, and landing on top of him with a thump’ is how he remembers you. 

The moment was almost cliche. If your eyes had met and lingered on each other, both aware of the position you were in but not moving away, then it possibly would’ve been a scene straight out of some cheesy romance novel. 

Instead, you seemingly bounced straight up upon impact, not even bothering to spare Akashi a second glance. You proceeded to give him a quick apology, running down the next flight of stairs immediately after.

It was definitely one of the odder interactions Akashi had with his fellow students at Rakuzan High, but it amused him nonetheless and made him notice you much more often around campus. Even though you weren’t in any apparent rush anymore, you still radiated this energy that was all bubbly and seemingly ready to burst. 

It brought a small smile on his face every time he saw you, bouncing along hallways without a care in the world, chattering away with your friends. Sure you seemed like the typical happy-go-lucky person, but Akashi couldn’t help but see you as a bit more unique.

Your second interaction with Akashi was an interesting one too, in Akashi’s opinion at least. 

The basketball team had just won a tournament the other day, so Akashi was free this afternoon. He had decided to go challenge some shogi club members to a few games. 

In the middle of one of those games, you walked into the club room.

Akashi didn’t think you were part of the club, and his suspicions were confirmed when another member of the club went to ask if you needed anything. Akashi was definitely not eavesdropping, no he was paying attention to his game (the one he knew he would easily win anyway) when you pulled out an envelope and he happened to overhear you telling the club member that someone asked to meet you. 

Nobody in the room came forward to claim they were the one who sent the letter though. 

After a few awkward, silent moments, you moved to take a seat with some of the other club members. It was an action that surprised Akashi. He figured you would’ve just left because the whole did seem like a waste of time. However, you just sat there asking some club members to teach you how to play. 

Akashi could sense genuine curiosity in you and, needless to say, it intrigued him. It seems like there’s more to the “girl made of energy” than he originally thought.

The clock ticked, and a few rounds later, Akashi decided it was time to head home. Saying his formal goodbyes, he walked out of the clubroom. 

He didn’t expect you to come running after him, almost slamming into him again in the process. 

“You shouldn’t run around school so much, you know. You could end up bumping into people and maybe even hurting them.” The words left Akashi’s lips sounding a lot more teasing and flirtatious than he intended.

You blushed and started rambling out apologies. ‘Cute’ Akashi thought. 

His brain froze. 

Wait. Cute? How-

“Anyway um.. you left your notebook back there…” you said, holding out what was indeed his notebook out towards him.

“Oh…” was all he could say. He rarely forgot his things, especially things as important as his notebook. It seems his mind must’ve been too distracted by... other things. “Thank you L/n-san.”

He saw a slight shock on your face. “You know my name?” 

His brain froze yet again. How was he supposed to answer this question without seeming like a stalker?

“Well yes…” he started before you cut him.

“Didn’t expect the Akashi Seijuurou to know my name.”

He scoffed at that. “I think I’d know the name of the girl who jumped down the stairs and knocked me to the ground.”

“Again, I’m really sorry about that…” you said with a smile, although Akashi could see the guilt that lingered behind your eyes.

“Don’t worry about it,” he quickly said. “I was just…”

He was just what? Flirting? Was he actually flirting? Him. Akashi Seijuurou. Flirting??

“…you know,” he finished quietly.

You didn’t say anything in response but instead looked at him with a peculiar sort of gaze. 

“Um.. hate to make things awkward by asking this but… were you the one who sent me this?” You held up the envelope Akashi saw earlier.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Oh… okay then.” Was it just Akashi’s imagination or did he hear a sliver of disappointment in your tone? “I suppose you don’t know who it is either right?”

He shook his head.

A lot of thoughts rushed through his mind. Did you actually expect him to send you a love letter? Did you hope it was him? 

He sensed you were about to leave though, so before he could regret it, he asked you, “Why do you want to know who sent it anyway?”

Your eyes widened slightly at the question.

“I understand the curiosity and wanting to know who it is but… if they didn’t show up, why are you still waiting?” He clarified.

“Akashi-san, you’ve never confessed to someone have you?”

He gave a slight nod.

“Well, I don’t see why you’d need to,” you mumbled more to yourself than him. Clearing your throat, you continued, “The thing is, confessing takes a lot of courage. And writing this letter asking me to meet them here would’ve taken a whole lot of that courage already. I think that, if they were able to go that far, then I should at least hear them out right?”

That… surprised Akashi. 

“But then again, there’s always a possibility this is just a prank,” you added as an afterthought. 

Unsure of what to say, he just nodded. “It is possible, considering how long you had to wait.”

You smiled, “The wait was fine though. I had fun learning shogi.” 

You actually had fun learning how to play? Looking back, it did seem like you were enjoying yourself… 

It’s strange. Akashi realized just how much his view of you changed in one afternoon. Earlier, you were that bubbly, energetic girl bouncing through the halls. Now, you were this thoughtful and kind person who liked to learn. You also said you had fun playing shogi, which nearly made Akashi’s heart skip a beat.

Oh. 

Oh.

He gets it now. The reason his brain was acting all slow was you. With that thought, everything became clearer. 

Now he wishes that love letter really was a prank.

“Ah Akashi-san, I think I have to go home soon,” you said, holding up your phone. “You’re heading out too right? Wanna walk with me?”

He blinked in surprise but quickly agreed.

“Great, just let me get my things first-” And with that you rushed back into the club room.

Akashi stood staring at the empty hallway, still caught up in his thoughts and trying to process what just happened between you two just a few seconds ago.

When you came back out with your things, he couldn’t help but smile softly. The two of you fell into conversation easily, and by the time you walked out of the school gates, you were still in a talk that showed no signs of nearing an end.

He wanted to continue walking and talking like this, but there was a car and a driver waiting for him in the exact opposite direction of where you were headed.

“Well, goodbye then L/n-san,” he said, hoping the reluctance wasn’t obvious.

You smiled in response. “Goodbye Akashi-san. It was nice talking to you.”

With that the two of you went your separate ways. Throughout the car ride home, Akashi could think of nothing but you. It would seem… he has taken quite the liking to you.

He isn’t sure what’ll happen next, but he’s looking forward to seeing you again and hopefully, talking more with you too.

. . .

note .. THIS CAME OUT LONGER THAN ORIGINALLY INTENDED but anyway i actually enjoyed writing this,,, yk all the stuff potentially going thru akashi’s mind when he has a crush intrigues me and uhh i hope u guys liked this and if u do PLS LMK WHAT U THINK !! it would legit mean the world if u guys did <3