#people being like ''this doesn't work for me and recent evidence shows it's not more or less effective than other treatments''

[sskk-manifesto]

(´･ᴗ･ ` )

[deepdankpit]

people go so far as to compare ERP Therapy to "properly taking your medication" and if it didn't work for you it's because it was done "improperly". god shut up

[triviallytrue]

What is the current best guess as to how likely/unlikely it is for verified fundraisers to be scams?

Hoo boy. If I had a good guess for that, this would all be much easier.

There are a lot of different people/groups who have at one point or another done some form of verification, many of which do not publicize their methods (often because they don't want scammers to be able to get around them more easily, but still, that makes it tough to accept). Each different person/group may have different standards of evidence and different willingness to verify a fundraiser.

I have spent several hours going through around a dozen fundraisers. I will not be publicizing which ones or what my conclusions are, because getting any kind of certainty with this kind of thing is very, very difficult, and I don't want to get it wrong (in either direction). Some challenges:

Many people have an instagram or tiktok which clearly shows a Palestinian person living in Gaza with a history prior to October 7th, but this social media account does not link back to either their GFM or their tumblr (both of which were created much more recently). In some cases this is probably innocent, but in others, scammers may search common tags on those sites and quietly assume their identities. I have no idea what the proportion is.

In some cases I can be somewhat confident the Palestinian the GFM is for is real, but the middleman (the westerner in charge of sending the gofundme money to the Palestinian refugee) is a complete ghost, not mentioned anywhere and not googleable, and I have no idea if they are reliable.

In the other direction, there are gofundmes with no socials that feel formulaic, with some other things that concern me (ask patterns that feel like botnet behavior, no demonstrated ability to write in Arabic anywhere), but these are also impossible to dismiss as scams - if you are relying on machine translation to try and get from Arabic to English, you are going to sound somewhat formulaic, and to be a refugee is to lack many of the traditional markers of legitimacy that someone in a more stable situation would have.

So in short - shit's fucked! It sounds like the verifiers know this too, and from a mixture of more Palestinians hearing about tumblr's willingness to donate and scammers smelling blood in the air, it sounds like people are burning out. Many of the existing verifiers are themselves Palestinian refugees, and being a refugee puts a huge amount of stress on you in a way that makes it very hard to maintain a verification workload. As I've said before, this kind of thing is a full time job.

If someone reading this would strongly prefer to donate to an individual over an established organization, I would recommend the paypal linked in 90-ghost's bio.

90-ghost seems like as confident as I can be that someone is who they say they are - he has a long history on this site posting about Palestine in Arabic prior to October 7th, other Palestinian users on this site seem to trust him, and the PayPal he links (his brother's, not his) is someone he knows personally and doesn't have a middleman between his family and the money.

Remember: don't just click that link! Before you send anyone money, double check my work - go to his blog and verify that I linked the correct PayPal and that the things I just said are true.

[lotusarchon]

As I have the app around, I may as well just dive into this before disappearing again. To the people in my post a few days prior and in my dms, I promise I'm not ignoring any of you, but I genuinely can't muster the energy to speak to anyone else currently. I'm only here currently because someone found my unmentioned hetalia account, which I left unmentioned for a reason...you know who you are...you scared me...😭

Ah, okay well. If you're not aware of who I am, hi. I'm a dude that wrote fanfiction for this fandom I got pulled into. A year ago I had a few different accounts but I had to delete every single one just because I kept getting harassed, from one thing to another. I'm hoping I don't have to do it again this time around.

I haven't gone offline as anyone thought. I did attempt to take my life (twice, 2024 is something else) but in the end it didn't work out, so I've been hiding in my secret account to relax in hetalia for a bit. In between that I've also been stalking the account myself since it showed up just to see what it was up to, and...oh wow that's a lot.

This specific account has been on my ass like a tick since..two days ago. Two days of my 'supposed' death.

I've also recently found out that someone else who was pretending to be a friend of my friend's and a concerned citizen happened to be friends with them;

And hence why I chose not to reemerge my head back then yet. It turns out there's a few people who may have been following me who are acquainted with these people and...yeah, I didn't want to take the risk. I'm hoping no one is going to inform them I'm not actually dead―I blocked both accounts to avoid being noticed.

There's a lot of yapping I'm gonna be doing so expect a lot of that, BUT piece of advice to anyone that actually cares: do not engage with either blog. Don't send them hate mail, don't go gloating that I'm not actually dead, and don't fucking yap about anything. These blogs went as far as to harass my friends who have no part in this, and they also wrote nsfw of my adult oc and my friend who is a fucking minor. Do. Not. Engage. With. Them. Please!! Block, block, block. Just block them! They're actively going out of their way to harass and stalk MINORS.

Under the cut, I am rambling more on personal feelings rather than doing this professionally. I'm still pretty moody actually and well yeah...

Trigger Warning for some topics below!

Okay uh. I've never done this before so excuse me while I put this in question format lmfao..

"Why aren't you dead!?"

Joke answer; god doesn't want me.

Long answer: I'm not the type of person who says something like that ...like that. I really was intending to go through with it, but evidently I was too tired from crying and fell asleep. I figured that I couldn't handle people fucking around with me and hid in my secret blog. Hetalia fandom is so nice for a fandom about countries. Point blank sorry to burst many of your bubbles, but I'm not dead yet. Put the birthday canon away, slut. I'll die next season.

"What the fuck did you even do?"

Exist.

No okay, realistically it's a lot. I'm not going to play the victim here's and I'm not going to lie to people and say "oh hey my mental illness/trauma made me do that" because that's bullshit. I'm also not diving too deep into any explanations just because my hands hurt..but also I don't want to remember anything less I have another panic attack.

A year ago I met this girl who became my friend over a fandom. We chatted, but I fucked our friendship up when I lashed out at her and another friend wrongfully because of my own stress. While I did beg one of them to stay, the chick that runs kokomichanstuff, Mariin, I ended the friendship with her just because I knew what I did was bad. There really aren't any excuses for that. I don't think anyone should have to deal with anyone else's bad attitude regardless of mental health or not. I didn't bother to keep Mariin around because I did bad, and no amount of apologies would fix it. She already said she wouldn't forgive me, so I knew it made no sense to keep up a facade. I genuinely had no idea she would've been mad that I begged one person to stay but not her, even though she expressed not wanting to be my friend. I also don't remember truly if what I did was enough to earn THIS type of harassement, but I'll take it as divine punishment. But basically, over and over again Mariin has stalked me and found a way to harass me. According to the posts she made, she's made a new friend I (sadly) hurt who wants..revenge. Hooray.

Mariin's already namedropped them so um, yeah, I hope it's okay to mention them?? . Neveah was someone I also hurt really badly by bullying and lashing out at her out of jealousy over something ridiculously dumb in my old server and account. I confronted her later on apologizing but specifically also adding that she didn't need to forgive me because I messed up. Long story short, she claimed she had forgiven me.... but then went to her friends (Mariin mentioned) Geno, Toga etc to badmouth me, including sharing sensitive information I sent to her. Neveah's friend Geno made a post mocking me which I found and responded poorly too, and then more drama escalated from there because literally every single one of Neveah and Geno's friends came to bombard me, sent me hate mail and surprise, Mariin took the chance to come back. I don't know how the fuck those two (Mariin and Neveah) managed to speak, but sometime later a few accounts appeared that went after people who were once associated with me or used to be associated with me. A few days ago the account made supposedly by Neveah made a post accusing me of being a r*pist, groomer and pedophile and yeah. That went badly.

Uh. Wow this is a mouthful. But. Yeah, I'm...not really a good person, and these things are just embarrassing and..ick. I hate myself for the shit I pull. But, I will say, while I can accept Mariin harassing me like this, the other parties just...genuinely could've handled this better than what they did to me. It really wouldn't have been so hard to ask me instead of listening to one side, but maybe that's me. Regardless, I admit I was wrong. I just..I'm not happy other people are getting involved.

"Why didn't you just say something sooner instead of all that nonsense? Wasn't that too dramatic?"

Sadly it was, but I don't think any of you understand when I say that I CAN'T. I can't say anything because it's just me, me, me. It's just me, and people aren't going to believe me. They never do. When that shitshow happened with Neveah, everyone was blaming me. Even up till recently, someone in my current server told me I was the one who overreacted over getting bullied and harassed. I'm not mentioning them here but holy fuck, that shit hurt. The anons coming in my inboxes telling me "people are offering you advice and you don't want it", it fucking hurts. It genuinely hurts because every single time I try to speak up against anything, or stand up for myself, I'm the one who's in the wrong.

Geno, Neveah, Mariin, fucking Toga and Deja and the entire fucking crew. They're never the ones who get wronged, and they haven't lost anything. Even when Mariin's account gets deleted, she's fine. She has people that actually fucking listens to her, all of them do.

I don't. There's no one aside from the few friends I have who would actually listen to me and not just immediately jump at me, and I'd rather just not have them involved in anymore drama that revolves around me.

Yeah, holy shit, maybe attempting to kill myself from the stress was overbearing but you guys have no fucking idea what it's like. Every time, every time I make a report or say something, I'm the one who's told I'm at fault. It's either, "You're don't look like a child, it's not their fault they want to touch you," or, "You overreacted," or, "Maybe you shouldn't have said anything," or even, "You're so ungrateful, I'm trying to help you."

It. fucking. Sucks. It. SUCKS. Its terrifying that regardless if it's my real life or on the internet, no one listens, no one cares and the one who's left hurting is Ali because who fucking cares. Who gives a shit right?

"....did you try to kill yourself over Nezha?"

Everything started with Nezha, and I'm not even fucking kidding. I don't remember how I met Mariin but I knew for a fact it was something about him. And when we broke our friendship off, I got attacked a LOT about his age. I want to pretend that maybe it was all Mariin, but with how things are, I don't doubt for a second this fucking fandom were jumping me for a character who already has a confirmed age.

I could tell you that I was just stressed about Mariin, but that'd be a lie. Everywhere I go with this fandom, I'm always getting hassled about Nezha's age. From the beginning I was already stressed, because I continuously kept getting anon after anon calling me names and accusations for a fictional fucking character.

I don't deny that Mariin didn't have a part to play. She most definitely made things worst for me with using Nezha to slander me further. It's just my luck that the people in this fandom are idiots that'll listen to anything anyone says.

Think of it this way; the pot was near burning on the stove, it just needed some more fuel.

"Why didn't you just listen to the anons?"

Sighs

Mind you, this was supposedly when I was DEAD. Trust me, I've had far worst flooding my inboxes. Before it was about Nezha's age. Recently, it was to kill myself and the accusations.

I'm not saying the advice was ever bad. But the anons were strangers for all I care who had no idea what the fuck was happening. I've tried blocking anons before, I also went to far lengths to ignore them, but there's only so much I can take. Every day, day in day out on any blog I've made, ever since I started writing for Nezha, I've been receiving dozens and dozens of hate I've had to delete constantly. Not even counting the ones that just randomly told me to die!!

"just ignore them" I'm not a child. I. know. I know, I know, I've been trying, but when people don't respect my boundaries and don't even bother to listen when I say I've done it, how do you think I'm going to feel?

"oh but you should put that as your trigger then it's not their fault" oh yeah, "hey everyone 🥺 when people don't listen to me I cry". How do you think it'll sound? Plus, why should I need to add that when I wasn't expecting anyone to actually act like this on the internet to begin with?!

"Why don't you just move to a different platform then if the hate is that bad?"

Ignoring Mariin for a bit, even if I were to go into another platform to write fanfiction (and I highly doubt there's many I'll feel comfortable in), why should I, and what makes you think the hate will stop there?

AO3 is a place where THE worst people write porn. And you wouldn't believe that I've had to delete quite a number of assholes on there for Nezha's age. Don't mention Twitter where the nonsense started about his age, and don't bring in bluesky because there's a word limit and I'm not limiting myself to that. Even Wattpad has them yelling about Nezha's age. WATTPAD!! Genuinely what makes you think I'll be safe anywhere I go?

I hate Tumblr but this account is my safe space from reality at this point. It used to be the place that made me not want to die. Just because you guys are jerks, why should I need to go?

This also goes back to Mariin and the harassers. Even in my fake death I can't know peace. If I were to move out, wouldn't she get to live her life peacefully while I'm miserable trying to understand a place I don't want to be in?

"Then just leave the LMK fandom!"

Again, why should I? LMK is my comfort show. I genuinely enjoy writing for silly legos, and I also love learning about things I didn't know about before. Why should I have to leave just because the fandom is filled with jerks? Why don't you guys just leave instead if you're butthurt about anyone daring to speak an opinion?

"The accusations-!"

Are lies.

I was r*ped before. Why would I find any pleasure r*ping anyone else? How does one even do that through online?

I was groomed online and assaulted in real life. Why would I think of hurting another human being, most less a child, like that when I still can't even read anything that correlates to it? Why would I find any of those things pleasing?

I turned 18 in 2024. It's not an excuse and I've been doing my best to not interact with minors, or at the very least avoid speaking about topics that are inappropriate for them. Even though I still forget I'm an adult on occasion, I know better than to pull up on my younger friends and start talking about nsfw. I've only ever spoken weirdly to my adult friends.

I recently saw someone comment on the account that I'm Islamphobic/don't support Palestine, so that makes me problematic. I grew up in an Islamic family, I have trauma with that specific religion (inclu. Hinduism and Christianity, long story). I don't interact with anything regarding religion if I can and I also don't judge someone based on their religion. I judge you based on how you speak to me. If you have a weird icon, I don't like you, if you speak weirdly, I don't like you. Additionally, I'm the type of person who feels guilty for making someone upset. I can't support myself, most less for others. No, I don't agree with genocide but it's genuinely too much for me to keep up with.

And finally, how the fuck is liking a character who's an adult make me a proshipper? Jesus Christ again with Nezha. I hate this.

"You have no proof!"

Of course I don't. I don't keep bad memories around. I wouldn't have remembered my own childhood if I didn't get triggered about it. I block bad memories out. Many interactions I've had that are bad, I delete. I don't think about saving, I delete.

Even interactions with friends I usually delete because it's just weird not seeing a blank space. I don't hate them but leaving a spot full feels weird.

I don't have any proof I'm none of the accusations but neither does Mariin, to be frank. So if you chose to believe her because you just genuinely don't like me, good for you, but you look like sheep being led by a drunk shepherd. Either you'll end up in a slaughterhouse and starve, your pick.

I'm not going to say, "Oh ask my minor friends!" Because...they're kids. I feel horrible my friend got roped into this to begin with, the last thing I want is for anyone else be involved when they barely know shit.

Yeah, rambled a bit. I didn't want too but I got carried away, whoops.

This is the only post I want to make about this issue. Don't bring it up, don't uhh, don't mention me to the account, and please just allow me to rest in peace. I just want to write and feel free, not deal with this shit, okay?

Also. Please stop involving my friends into beef you have with me. It's really not their fault they have to deal with someone like me.

Goodbye. I'm deleting the app again until I return. Adios

[turboacek-blog]

Random: I wouldn’t mind Katara x Zuko and Aang x Toph in the Netflix adaptation

So with the Netflix live-action Avatar series coming out soon, I figured I should get this thought out the way

Back when it was first announced I remember they said they were going to slightly age up Katara so that she would be essentially Zuko’s age and Aang would still be 12 (112) basically instead of her being 14 she would be 16 like Zuko

And people speculated that it’s because they want to do Zutara (Zuko x Katara)

Amongst a number of other changes that’s has been revealed in the pre show premiere life cycle like the recent info they’re getting rid of Sokka’s sexism

I’ve mentioned it before but I’ve became neutral on remakes and reboots and such

Which includes changing things from the original is fine as the original still exists

It’ll be ininteresting how they handle it as the original show had a sizeable focus on Aang liking Katara and I can see it shifting to just being friends but it would also change a lot of scenes involving the two as the Gaang's dynamic is the way it was because one of the threads is that Aang and Katara had the romance aspect

And without it, you will need to sell their friendship in a different way which can be fun with a more platonic take but I think it has to be done well as Aang getting upset he can hurt Katara with fire bending or just the Haru and Jet situations are different if there isn’t a potential romance brewing

And might be worse if it’s fully one-sided as in Aang still has a crush but Katara doesn’t like him in that way at all, which ties into the other ship's angle

Katara x Zuko

It can work, I don’t think the people who shipped them were just crazy fans putting two characters together, there’s evidence

But without the Aang influence, it can be weird if not handled well let alone how they handled a character like Mai

Aang x Toph

I think when people mention this, it’s mostly because she’s the only one who would likely still be in his age range meaning she's the most realistic option if Katara and side characters are off the table

And you can pull it off I think, from Aang being Toph’s first friend, and the mentor-student dynamic can be tweaked plus they also have an opposites attract dynamic like Zutara. And reshift the crush Toph had on Sokka and Zuko to Aang it's possible

I just think it’s a case of they would have to truly commit and not tease too much / if it gets some backlash don't double back to the original canon pairs as you would basically be a season behind

Like don’t still do AangxKatara stuff if they are really going to do ZukoxKatara as the endgame

2/2/24 edit:

@vibee2001 let me know the Katara aging up was a rumor and she's more than likely still going to be 14, while Sokka and Zuko are aged up 1 year so most of what I said doesn't matter lol

But since they have said it's going to lean more into the drama genre I think a lot of what I said can still be applied to leaning towards drama by having different pairings and such and the general they are making changes to some elements of the story like characters

[luna-rainbow]

Allow me to present the defense case for Peggy Carter.

I don't mean the PC who is in What If BTW. I don't know who she is, but she's not Peggy. I mean the original version from 2011-2014, especially from recently re-watching The First Avenger.

Peggy comes off as being very aloof, detached and rather condascending at times. I argue that's because she had to be. Its very hard for women in the armed forces even today- but back in the 1940s it would have been even more difficult for a woman to hold her own in a male dominated context like the army. She'd have had to worked many times harder to prove herself and to gain the respect which her male counterparts took for granted purely by virtue of their gender and rank. If she showed any kind of emotional vulnerability or it seemed like she didn't know what she was doing, the men would have pounced on it and taken it as "evidence" she was just a weak and feeble woman who didn't belong in "thier" world. Even then... we still see people being insubordinate and talking down to her. When she punched that soldier who was making lewd remarks (can't remember his name) I don't see her being a bully. I see a woman having to deal with the type of casual sexism she probably experienced on a daily basis. When men who were far below her in rank treated her with contempt or just saw her as a sex object. No way that soldier would *ever* have spoken to a senior ranking male like that... She was also dealing with it in a very masculine way. Like another soldier would. In regards to Steve: again I don't think Peggy is ever intentionally mean or cruel to him. Yes, she's sassy and snarky, but I think she had to learn to be like that to hold her own among men. Her interactions with him in the movie are actually quite positive overall: she smiles when he uses his ingenuity and jumps on a dummy grenade, she doesn't talk about how weak he was she views him as a proper soldier when a lot of others don't: including Colonel Phillips. Even after the Serum Philips just sees him as some glorified performer whereas she trusts his judgement: reluctantly at first but willingly afterwards.

For his own part, Steve never talks down to her or views her as inferior. He was probably one of first men who did that only after Howard Stark perhaps.

When she said that Bucky was probably dead: again I don't think she was being uncaring. That line came after just after saying the 107th had been through "more than most" upon seeing an ambulance bringing an injured soldier back from the front. It seems to me she didn't want to see *another* man die in what she had every reason to think was a suicide mission. I mean, its very likely she'd lost friends before, maybe even had family members killed. Besides of which, she ended up helping Steve go on that rescue mission by persauding Howard to drop him near the HYDRA facility on his plane. Then didn't apologize for her actions afterwards even though Colonel Philipps basically threatened to basically demote her.

Finally, that scene where she fires her gun at Steve's shield: again I don't see that as bullying. When he kissed that other woman (*who did it very deliberately in front of Peggy*) it was quite obviously an attempt to make her jealous. (Not on Steve's part, but the other woman). I think in that moment she felt betrayed, because she believed Steve was different to the other men she encountered. Men who just saw her as a conquest or an airhead. She thought he was behaving "just like the other soldiers"- i.e treating women as objects, and she had an emotional reaction. She was actually wrong, but that proves she's flawed. She's human after all!

So yeah, Peggy in The First Avenger is great. She's sassy and snarky but she does seem to genuinely care for Steve as well. I see them as having a lot in common: both people who struggle to be accepted by others but find their place eventually.

Okay, before I start, I want to say that I did like her mannerisms when I first saw CATFA, because I like no-nonsense female characters. However, movies!Peggy was not a fully formed character — just as movies!Bucky wasn’t. One was the token love interest, the other was the token best friend. Hence, there are specific traits embedded in Peggy’s characterisation, or rather her story roles, that are factors of a male author writing a female love interest for a genre about macho superhero men. Which in itself is a product of the misogynistic nature of 2010 MCU.

Firstly, she’s never actually had her rank or her professional role specified. She introduced herself as an “agent supervising all operations of this division”, but all she does is hover around Howard and Philips in their offices. She’s not on the battlefield with Steve (no matter how her own series tried to rewrite it). She’s not in the field acting as a spy/agent. We are told she’s important, because somehow as an agent she’s giving orders to military trainees — a weird role but we can give her that suspension of disbelief — but we are never shown her doing anything important to contribute to war efforts. More than this being Peggy is a useless person, it’s a symptom of the writer not knowing how to handle a female professional in WW2, to the point of calling her an agent but having her both being in the science division and giving military trainee orders but hanging around looking like a secretary. And why exactly could Philips threaten to demote her? Who does she even work for? He could demote her if she’s military but she’s not. So it’s never clear that those soldiers are her subordinates, because they’re not. She’s not in the chain of command! And so why should they respect someone who’s not in their chain of command telling them that she’s going to give orders? She does have to earn it.

You and I remember that kissing scene very differently. Firstly, Lorraine pulled him into a kiss, Steve didn’t kiss her. We need to get the instigator clear here. We can debate how much of a willing participant Steve was, because that scene can be read anywhere from “Steve was unsure at first but then started to enjoy it” to “Steve was in shock the whole time and his hands came up to push her away”. Secondly, there’s no suggestion that either Lorraine or Steve knew Peggy was within watching distance, so I don’t agree with the interpretation that anyone did it to make Peggy jealous. Thirdly, Peggy and Steve were not an item at that stage, so it’s rather presumptuous of her to “feel betrayed”. What did he betray? He said he was waiting for the right partner, he didn’t say the right partner was her. She’s the one who’s taken it upon herself to demand his faithfulness. He never indicated he was happy to enter into that social contract. Fourthly, you’ve acknowledged that her emotional response to another woman kissing Steve was “flawed”, but object to that violent retaliation being called “bullying”. So let’s call it for what it is: unprofessional, unethical, unromantic, and bloody unhinged.

I’m sorry, there is no possible justification for discharging a gun at a man (and specifically in this case a man who is not in a relationship with you) over a kiss in an enclosed space at work where other bystanders could get injured.

But you know what? That scene is another symptom of male writers not knowing how to write a strong female love interest. In 2010 everyone knew it would be bad form if a man hit a woman for being kissed by another man, but violent anger from a woman directed at a man? That was seen as cute and funny and sweet. And that view exists because of the infantilisation of women. Female anger is seen as “not that hurtful” and “not that important”, dismissed as a momentary “emotional outburst” because women are prone to emotional outbursts, it’s a womanly thing to suddenly lose grip on logic over a jilted love. Where in a man that emotional volatility and violence would be a major character flaw that would turn him into a villain, in a woman that’s…cute and harmless.

So you know, Peggy was at the same level of neglect that Bucky-with-two-birthdates was. She was not a character they cared enough about to even give her a proper professional role in the army. She’s there because the movie needed a love interest. She’s there to show how unwanted Steve was before the serum, and how desirable he became after the serum. She appears, every now and then, to remind the audience she exists, but never in a way that directly affects the plot. @amarriageoftrueminds has multiple excellent metas explaining why the story could have proceeded without Peggy being present. She’s a character we are continuously told is important, but the narrative gives her only counselling type dialogues, and while those conversations are placed at narratively important milestones, none of her suggestions make any sway on Steve’s original plans before he started talking to her, making her someone who has minimal impact on Steve’s arc and on the story as a whole.

[cxtangerina]

k2 is such a funny ship to me, like it's just plausible enough to be kinda sorta realistic if you squint and pray and look at it sideways, not quite a crackship but not able to get off the ground as more than a particularly popular rarepair either. they had, like, one big episode together back in season 3, a handful of major moments over the years that people hold onto with an iron grip, and basically nothing else outside of a plethora of fantastic fancontent and dreams.

i think i like it for the exact opposite reasons that i like kyman, actually, they sorta stand as complementary ships in my mind. where k2 barely has any actual basis in canon & comes heavily from fanworks and speculation about how well the characters would match each other, kyman is practically canonical, at least when it comes to cartman's feelings, and is at least regularly joked about and referenced in-show. personally, i also tend to see k2 as a ship that is kinda miraculously requited, whereas kyman is usually stuck in unrequited hell, which...

...well, this gets into more specific character analysis, but a big part of this is that i tend to see cartman as having very fucked up views of both romance & sexuality that have especially interesting implications when you consider him to have a crush on kyle, specifically.

on the one hand, i think his cupid self is evidence enough that he has a very fairytale, idealized view of romance, based more out of the hollywood movie image of what love is supposed to be rather than anything in reality. south park adults being utter fucking idiots 99% of the time means that most, if not all, of the kids don't have a lot of good role models to base their actions off of. i'm not gonna talk out of my ass about childhood development more than i understand it, but i don't think it's too controversial (?) of a take to claim that kids understand & learn about the world through watching it just as much as interacting with it, particularly when it comes to their own parents.

cartman is a piece of shit, and while a lot of that comes from him and his own bigotry, he's still ultimately a kid in show and you can trace where some of his worst traits originate from in the people around him, even if he makes the personal decision to push it as much as humanly possible. i think the trend in recent seasons for many adults to try and at least appear more pc only makes this more obvious, actually (coughcoughrandy), though talking about that is maybe biting off a little more south park politics than i'm willing to chew for this particular post.

point is, cartman as a character in particular does not have a lot, if anything, to base his idea of what a healthy, happy romantic relationship looks like, which isn't only because liane is single though that may be a major contributing factor. love isn't work to cartman, it isn't about the maintenance of a relationship or communication or all the more realistic and slightly less pleasant parts of loving someone that hollywood doesn't find dramatic or interesting enough to show. rather it's a fantasy, something that happens to people that they have no real control over. i wouldn't be surprised if he believes in soulmates or love at first sight, even if the likelihood of him admitting that out loud isn't especially high.

on the other hand, i think his view of sexuality is greatly influenced by not just liane's sex work, but the way she is slut-shamed and treated like garbage by the rest of the town for it. i tend to view cartman as having a very transactional, cynical view of sex and sexuality, where sex is only used for personal gain (whether that be money or power, likely at the expense of someone else/the submissive party), and sexuality is an inherent character flaw, a weakness that must be overcome unless you are able to twist it and use it for your own (material?) benefit- see the streaming wars & cartman wanting his mom to seduce a rich man for money as a recent example of this.

it's a running gag in TFBW that cartman uses douchebag catching their dad fucking their mom as a tragic backstory, and doesn't seem to understand how reproduction actually works even when kyle basically says it straight to his fucking face. even as a joke, there's still a lot of underlying truth behind why he would believe this. cartman is aware of his mom's sex work, even if he may not want to fully admit/believe it, largely because of situations where he's specifically getting shit for it. he knows he has a father, and that he is (in)directly responsible for said father's horrible death & consumption, but he only really cares about that insofar as it means he's half ginger. sex has only ever been presented through its most vicious power dynamics to him- why would he see it as a good thing, as something that could ever be loving, especially when contrasted against such an idealized, purified view of romance?

(you could also extrapolate from this how cartman associates sexuality & romance with femininity & his brand of sexism to get some particularly delectable transfem cartman ideas, but i digress.)

ANYWAYS. this is all to say that cartman having a crush on kyle (or anyone, really, but kyle is obviously the most emotionally volatile example) instantly pits those two conflicting views against one another, like he wants something that he doesn't even think could ever exist: a happy, healthy romantic relationship, where sex is just a normal thing that they can choose to do or not. this is where a lot of kyman angst comes from for me, with cartman either trying to stuff that round desire back into the square hole of how he views the world, or having his ideals fall ever further apart when the feelings are unrequited. and, on top of that, none of this being actually said out loud because communication is impossible.

this is why i always see kyman as making each other worse, especially if they actually manage to make it into a romantic relationship. i simply Do Not see kyle being a patient enough person to help cartman work through the intricacies of all of his expectations and idealized fantasies and internalized fears surrounding such mutually screwed views of romance & sexuality- on the rare occasions that kyle does show some interest in romantic relationships it's usually pretty centered around himself, and to be frank i only see his interest in romance going down as he gets older.

i've heard some people talk about kyle before like he's the "moral compass" of south park or whatever and while that may be true by the end of the episode, one of the things i like most about him is the fact that he struggles so much to get to the best conclusions. this is kind of getting back into the k2 side of this analysis, but where kenny manages a much more effortless selflessness, even pushing it to the point of being both a strength and a flaw when kenny stops caring about himself for the sake of others, kyle is a lot more self-centered than he cares to admit and it influences a lot of his attempts at being a good person.

this is both my favorite aspect of kyle, that he really has to put in the work to be the good person that he wants to be, and also the primary bad trait that i think cartman brings out of kyle. by being such a notoriously horrible shithead, he gives kyle the perfect target to unleash his annoyance on, getting him so caught up in arguing and proving himself to be the better person that kyle forgets to actually listen to the people that he's supposed to be standing up for. cartman is a fantastic troll and, at least in show, kyle definitely has not learned to stop feeding him argument fodder yet.

sidenote: about kyman entering a romantic relationship... wasn't sure where to add this, but it's for this exact reason that i also see kyman (or this version of kyman where cartman gets worse with age, rather than better) only actually happening in the universes where kyle has lost all other meaningful connections, to the point that feeding a troll to get off on an argument is the best possible option, even if he's old enough to know better. especially if he's old enough to know better.

again, k2 is the opposite of this for me in that i see kyle & kenny as having a lot of potential to bring out the best in each other.

if kyle's worst trait is that he gets too caught up in his own feelings & desires to truly be the good, selfless, thoughtful person that he wants to be to actually do genuine good for the sake of others, kenny's problem is that he skews too far in the opposite direction. i kinda already said this, but to state it outright: kenny's biggest strength and his biggest flaw are the exact same, that he is selfless to a fault, to the point of consistently putting other people's safety and happiness above his own when he thinks it would be of help the majority/the people he loves. this was the key kenny trait that was established by the end of BL&U, and it has only gotten more prominent in the years since with his mysterion persona.

it is in this way that kenny both stands as someone that kyle can look up to & admire for how effortlessly he dedicates himself to the people he cares about the most, but also, simultaneously, as someone that kyle can take care of himself and offer the same help back to. and i don't even think kenny needs to say very much out loud to push kyle towards a lot of these conclusions, he kinda just has to exist and be noticed and kyle has the intelligence to figure it out himself, to recognize the shit that kenny puts himself through and his (usually) quite noble reasons for doing so, and want to offer him the same love and care and dedication that kenny never allows himself to have.

really, the difficult part of this is being noticed at all in the first place. again, i said earlier that k2 is kinda "miraculously requited," in my mind, specifically because the aspect that's missing in the show and almost always must be provided by fan content for k2 is that spark/push forward that gets them close enough to start talking and for kyle to notice kenny in the first place. it's just lucky that's one of my favorite things to figure out and write for those two, hehehe.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Raven!

I’ve read your recent writings for the Fellow blog event (the one where Fellow meets Jamil and the one where Fellow is informed of who exactly was in the NRC Playful Land group) and that’s got me curious.

I know this is mostly speculation, but who do you imagine Fellow’s ex-employer to be such that he would be so casual about the identities of his marks? People like Jack, Ace, and Trey are ordinary and come from ordinary families. I would understand for the likes of Vil and if you stretch it, Cater, who while rich and/or influential (or are the children of such people) can still be considered ‘regular’ rich kids. My point is that sadly I feel it wouldn’t be hard for their kidnapping to be labelled as a tragic disappearance and swept under the rug.

But then concerning others such as Kalim, Leona, the Tweels, Ortho, and such, it would spell much trouble for the kidnappers? As Jamil put it to Fellow, them disappearing isn’t a matter that can simply be hand waved away. I have no doubt that Fellow’s ex-employers aren’t small time crooks and actually have power, but surely that power has its limits in the face of what they would have to deal with. They wouldn’t be incurring the wrath of one force, it would be many. Many forces, I might add, with the power and resources to track them down even through unofficial means. As a side note, Book 6 showed us how Idia was willing to destroy the world for Ortho.

Then again, it could just be Fellow’s hubris getting the better of him such that he has vastly overestimated the capabilities of his ex-employers? He seems to me like someone on the lower rungs (sorry Fellow) of the Playful Land criminal endeavor and wouldn’t be privy to the details or who exactly is involved. I dunno, maybe I’m thinking too much into this. But it would be nice to hear your thoughts on the matter!

[Referencing this post and this post!]

Yes, Fellow is very small fish to fry compared to his employers. We learn in his Playful Dress vignettes that Fellow only took up the Playful Land gig because he happened to find a job posting for it that pays well. It's not likely that he has a lot of say in what goes on if they were looking to hire just about anyone willing to do the dirty work, despite claiming to be the park manager.

While he doesn't seem to know the exact details of who the more influential boys of the group are, he at least knows about their affiliation with THE prestigious Night Raven College (which is partly why he targets them in the first place). However, Fellow does still demonstrate complete assurance that they can get away with their entire operation. I think this is the result of two factors. One is, as you may have suggested, Fellow not knowing much about the inner workings of the organization (and thus having no knowledge of its limits). The other is far scarier (and seems to be more likely to me due to the evidence we have on hand), which hints at a criminal underbelly in Twisted Wonderland that holds even more money and influence than even the Asim family has. The latter is implied, as Fellow brags quite often about his benefactors and even discusses the construction of the park as being the result of many powerful mages. Cater also mentions early in the event that Playful Land has been trending on socials lately, but this also implies that NONE of the people that went missing after going to the park made headlines or drew suspicion to Playful Land. This means that not only do the people behind the park have money, but somehow also the far-reaching power to control literally every bit of information on the web about them. Let's not forget too that they SOMEHOW have the technological capabilities to jam and limit Ortho's capabilities, even though this guy was made by a genius inventor.

Now look, I'm not saying that frightening organizations like this don't exist in real life. To deny that is to be ignorant. What I am saying is that for game like Twst (where several of the main characters are from very crazy wealthy families), it's asking us to do a LOT of suspension of disbelief in order to sell the story. This is just the beginning of my list of gripes with the logic of Playful Land. If you want to read more of my thoughts on the subject, you can check out this post!

[mayonesamitch]

MIZUKI IS NOT CIS!!! (I made this for myself)

I just need to keep track of my brain

So, Mizuki is definitely not cis. We've all heard of it. I'm just gonna bring up some reasons why.

First of all, Mizuki's chest in their 3D model is much flatter compared to the other female in the game. Don't get me wrong, you can be a flat woman. However, with all the context we have about Mizuki, I think in their case, it has to do with their biological sex.

They also often use butterflies or flowers in Mizuki's event name thingies. Butterflies and flowers often represent change. Which can add to the change in gender

Mizuki's models when they were younger appear more androgynous or masculine. This was probably due to the peer pressure of to be a boy since it's probably their biological sex.

Also in the Kamiko festival event Mizuki doesn't change due to there being no privacy. A problem most trans people deal with is restrooms or changing rooms. Most of the time they have to go to their biological sex which is bad on their part since to them if makes them feel weird. So though Mizuki definitely passes as a girl they would still have to go to their biological sex, which makes them feel uncomfortable.

Also Mizuki's sex is stated as "?" In the official website. Which give us more of the feeling about their gender and how they're not cisgender.

Another point I'd like to add is that femininity is actually very important in Japan. Looking cute is important to woman in Japan since it's their standard. So being judged for wearing cute clothes would only apply of you're of the male sex. So being judged for this if they were female would be very odd.

Also Mizuki used the Boku pronoun which is often more masculine. However, it can be a more cutesy way too to refer to yourself. Also tomboys use to but Mizuki definitely isn't a tomboy. In recent events they started to use Atashi more which is more gender neutral but still more feminine. Japanese pronouns work differently from English ones so keep that in mind.

Also, about the crossdressing Mizuki theory. Crossdressing is more normalized in Japan so why would Mizuki take is so far just to hide their secret? If they were a crossdresser then they might feel happy about passing but in the end still identify as a boy. Wouldn't they correct Niigo when they use she/her pronouns of then? There's just weak evidence to show how they can be a crossdrssser.

Anyways, so what's Mizuki? Mizu5 is coming so we'll know soon but for now I think they're transfem. Transfem is when you identify with femininity. Not the same as transgender but that's not off the table either. Maybe non-binary or a non-binary gender identity but who knows? We'll find out soon!

[mariacallous]

JD Vance agreed with the notion that raising grandchildren was “the whole purpose of the postmenopausal female,” an unearthed 2020 podcast shows.

Vance also seemed to concur when the host suggested that having grandparents help raise children was a “weird, unadvertised feature of marrying an Indian woman.”

It's the latest in comments from the Republican nominee for vice presdident about women and "traditional" roles that have drawn ire. Vance has faced intense criticism in recent weeks for previous sexist comments, including his remarks about "cat ladies."

Now, his appearance on ThePortal podcast with host Eric Weinstein in April 2020 has been thrust back into the limelight Vance spoke about his wife’s Indian family, noting that they emigrated to the US about a year before his wife, Usha Vance, was born. He said at the time, her parents were “devoted” to Usha and their grandchild as well as to “future grandchildren.”

The couple has three children, born in 2017, 2020 and in 2021.

“You can sort of see the effect it has on him to be around them like they spoil him,” he said of his first child. “There's sort of all the classic stuff that grandparents do to grandchildren, but it makes him a much better human being to have exposure to his grandparents.”

He added: “And the evidence on this is like super clear.”

“That’s the whole purpose of the postmenopausal female in theory,” Weinstein said at the time.

“Yes,” Vance agreed.

“When your child was born, did your in-laws, and particularly your mother-in-law, show up in some huge way?” Weinstein asked Vance.

“She lived with us for a year,” former President Donald Trump’s running mate noted.

“I didn't know the answer to that. So that's a weird, unadvertised feature of marrying an Indian woman,” Weinstein responded.

“It’s in some ways, the most transgressive thing I've ever done against sort of the hyper-neo-liberal approach to work and family,” Vance said. “My wife had this baby seven weeks before she started the clerkship, [she’s] still not sleeping any more than an hour and a half in a given interval. And her mom just took a sabbatical. She's a biology professor in California, just took a sabbatical for a year and came and lived with us and took care of our kid for a year.”

He added that it was “painfully economically inefficient.”

“Why didn't she just keep her job, give us part of the wages to pay somebody else to do it?” he asked. “That is the thing that the hyper-liberalized economics wants you to do. The economic logic of always prioritizing paid wage labor over other forms of contributing to a society is to me ... a consequence of a sort of fundamental liberalism that is ultimately gonna unwind and collapse upon itself.”

“It's the abandonment of a sort of Aristotelian virtue politics for a hyper-market-oriented way of thinking about what's good and what's desirable,” he added. “If people are paying for it and it contributes to GDP and it makes the economic consumption numbers rise, then it's good, and if it doesn't, it's bad ... that's sort of the root of our political problem.”

The Director of Rapid Response for Kamala Harris, Ammar Moussa, wrote on X: “I’m sorry - who is out here just out here talking about the ‘postmenopausal female’ and their role in society?”

Democratic Illinois Congressman Sean Casten added: “Are you a post-menopausal woman? Did you quit your job to look after your grandkids? Because if you didn’t, you are not meeting your ‘whole purpose’ according to JD Vance.”

Vance has faced criticism for a number of unearthed comments from his past, most notably telling Fox News host Tucker Carlson in 2021 that the US was being run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made, and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.”

“It’s just a basic fact — you look at Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, AOC [Alexandria Ocasio Cortez] — the entire future of the Democrats is controlled by people without children,” he said. “And how does it make any sense that we’ve turned our country over to people who don’t really have a direct stake in it?”

Harris has two stepchildren and Buttigieg, the transportation secretary, adopted twins in August 2021.

idk, pretty sure the intent is fairly clear *and* we can put election-swaying weight to it!

Also, it's fucking weird to talk like this about people!

[lilycat23]

Deltarune, Undertale and Penumbra Fantasm

Penumbra fantasm is an unreleased track that Toby fox worked on for homestuck. Motifs from it were used in other homestuck tracks like 'Doctor' and "Patient"

The original track by Toby is mostly inaccessible but there are multiple restorations of it uploaded to SoundCloud and youtube here is an example of one of these restorations.

A recording of the original MIDI file (AwakeningCrap2.mid) by Toby fox has been posted here

Toby fox did a livestream of the song in 2012. A recording of that is below

But what does this have to do with Deltarune?

Well A motif from this song has already been used in "THE HOLY" in Deltarune

It has also fairly recently been isolated in the background of 'Hopes and dreams' in undertale and seems to be in 'another medium' too.

Futhermore,

Deltarune fans including me think it may show up more in Deltarune and some think it may even be in an important boss battle or have something to do with gaster

Now just because toby has used this once in Deltarune doesn't mean it'll show up again? What makes people think it will show up again or have greater significance?

Well Years ago before Undertale and Deltarune came out in 2011, Toby was asked on social media about penumbra phantasm to which he replied "AT SHADOWS EDGE SHATTER THE TWILIGHT REVERIE" That certainly sounds like it has to do with dark worlds and we know that Toby had ideas in mind about deltarune before he made Undertale at least regarding deltarune ending which he says came to him in a dream.

W D Gaster who's fingerprints all over Deltarune is known for speaking in all caps much like the penumbra phantasm quote and thought to have (in universe/fiction) made the tweets on Toby's account shortly before chapter 1 was released.

Plus Toby fox's first ever tweet was "The edge of the shadow, where reality and dreams meet." Which not only is similar to the "twilight reverie" quote but sounds like it alludes to dark worlds even more with them being compared to dreams many times in game.

Both of these social media posts by Toby were made in 2011! The same year that Toby had the fever dream which inspired him to make Deltarune, giving us even more evidence that this track was written with Deltarune in mind.

Credit to eldomtom2 for the above image they posted on reddit

Here is one of many great fan remixes of penumbra phantasm making it into a Deltarune style track. (This is by Chris Roomba)

Credit to Chris roomba on his YouTube channel Stars in_sight for both information and inspiration for making this post

[archivalofsins]

Weird gripe but it kind of ticks me off that people are still treating Haruka like he has more than just communication issues. Especially since his song titles have been the most complicated out of the prisoners since trial one.

Or how it's bluntly stated in his character description on the website he has communication issues and nothing more.

"A quiet young prisoner who always keeps his eyes downcast. At first, he only responds with a word or two in response to Es's questions. By communicating with each other through meetings, the number of words gradually increases. Once we are able to have a conversation with him, we can begin to see his true kind nature. He has a quiet temperament and shows no signs of dissatisfaction with Milgram's environment. He tries to communicate with Es and the other prisoners, but there is something off about them and they don't really get along."

Outside of his literal character description, there's an abundance of evidence in the Portal Timeline and his trial songs that continue to showcase that his issues are solely verbal/communication based. Along with the fact that interacting with all of the prisoners and being given guidance from a particular one has been a great help to him in becoming a better communicator.

So, let's go over what I mean.

Let's start with his trial songs.

Weakness bringing it to attention through its lyrics,

"The word I tried to say was “You’re unfair”." "If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”"

And it's Japanese title. Something so complicated that it needed to be explained to me again. Thanks @doctorbunny-

So, that's definitely not the naming conventions of someone lacking when it comes to literacy. Shockingly enough it is possible to have very advanced literacy comprehension and low communication skills. Something that is highlighted through Haruka's character greatly. Yet, they translated his songs title as Weakness due to it being a bit too complicated to translate over.

His second song is called All-knowing All-agony for fucks sake. Stop treating him as though he doesn't know anything just because he's autistic coded. It's real ableist bullshit. Autism isn't a monolith it's a spectrum. People with it can have issues reading/writing, communicating verbally, or both. So, it'd be great if the fandom could stop fucking around with disorders they know nothing about.

It's embarrassing. Also here's timeline interactions where we are expressly shown the other prisoners helping Haruka work through his communication issues in various ways. Further showcasing his issues are verbal.

20/06/05 Haruka: Ah…… ah, u-um, Mikoto-san. The c-communication……? thing, that you were saying was important. I-I thought, I’d give it my best…… Um, so, Mikoto-san, what’s your favourite food……? Mikoto: Ooh? Nice going, Haru-kun~ Yeah, we still have no idea how long this lifestyle will go on for, so it’s best if we all get along together here. My favourite food…… I like pasta and horse-meat sashimi. Also bubble tea, and recently I’ve been big on custard puddings. What about you? Haruka: ……ah, I, I wonder…… H-hamburg steak, and omurice, a-and also…… what else? Ah. Cotton candy…… Mikoto: C-cotton candy!? That’s the first time I’ve met someone who has that in their top three favourites!? ……man, Haru-kun, you really are hilarious.

Mikoto introduces Haruka to the concept of small talk. Asking others questions in order to better get to know them.

20/06/12 (Haruka’s First Trial) Mu: ……Haruka-kun…… are you going? Are you going to be ok……? You don’t know what’s going to happen, so it’s scary, huh…… Haruka: Ah, y-yeah, I don’t know. But I definitely have to go, th-that’s the feeling I get. Mu: ……is that right. Let me know whether it hurts or not…… All the best…… Haruka: Ah, eek…… o-ok. ……I’ll…… be off……

Mu introduces Haruka to the concept of checking in on others who are either about to do something difficult or troubling or seems to be having a rough time.

20/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Haruka: ……*sigh*…… Mahiru: Haruka-chaaan, come over here a bit! I’m looking up everyone’s horoscopes right now to check our compatibility~ What’s your star sign~? Haruka: Ah, erm…… s-star sign……? I-I don’t know. Can’t remember…… B-but, my birthday’s June…… 22nd…… I think, that was it…… Mahiru: Ok then. June 22nd is Cancer, so…… A kind person who prioritises their feelings, and…… hm? That’s today!? June 22nd! You should have told us~ Happy birthday~! Haruka: Huh? Ah, yeah…… Th-thank you…… very…… much…… hehe……

Mahiru introduces wishing remembering and wishing others a happy birthday to Haruka. Something he will attempt to do several times until he succeeds at saying it.

20/06/28 Futa: You said you don’t play any games, right? Do you not watch league or premier either? Haruka: E-eh, I, I don’t understand, what that is…… That… uh, “leeg”? Futa: Huh!? It’s international soccer. It’s normal for guys your age to know stuff like that. What a pain… I really have nothing to talk to you about, huh. Even though we’re around the same age. Also don’t speak to me so formally. It’s gross. Haruka: Ah, e-excu-, I don’t, I uh… got it…… Futa… kun……

Futa introduces the concept of formality. Showing that people near your age will find it gross or inappropriate for him to refer to them to formally. This comes up again later.

20/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday) Haruka: ……Kazui-san…… um…… Are you, happy…… on your birthday……? Kazui: Hm? If I’m being honest, at this age I don’t really think much about birthdays any more. But…… it can be nice to have as a means to start something. Like, for a friend you haven’t seen in a long while, it’s a good excuse to suddenly start up a conversation, you know? Being able to hear from a bunch of people like that makes it fun. Haruka: I-is that, so…… That’s… nice…… I’m, kind of… jealous. But, I’d also, want to hear from people…… e-even if, there isn’t a reason…… Kazui: Haha, but it can’t always be like that. You know, for us adults…… we always want a reason or an excuse for everything. ……hm? Wait, is today my birthday? So is that why you went out of your way to talk to me yourself for once, Haruka?

This is the first instance Haruka tries to apply what he saw Mahiru do. But doesn't really succeed at saying Happy Birthday to Kazui. Instead just asking if he's happy on his birthday.

20/08/18 (Haruka and Yuno’s Interrogation) Yuno: Hey, Haruka, did you fill those out too? I remember doing profile notes like this in like prima11ry school and middle school too. Wasn’t it nostalgic? Haruka: ……e-eh? I don’t… k-know about that…… B-but, if someone wants to hear, I thought I… should answer…… as much as I can……

More practice with small talk and engaging with conversation even though it's a short one.

20/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Kotoko: I still need more information before I make my move. ……I wish my turn would get here faster. Haruka: Um, Koto-Kotoko-san. I h-heard that it’s your birth, day…… Kotoko: Ah, that’s right. ……what about it? Haruka: !! A-ah, no, um, it’s, uh, nothing…… S-sorry for, bothering… L-later……! Kotoko: ……what was that about??

Here's his second attempt at wishing someone happy birthday but he gets scared off by Kotoko's blunt nature.

21/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday) Haruka: U-uh, um, Futa-kun! Um! Um!! Futa: Huh? Shut up already… Didn’t I already say not to make a big fuss about my birthday. I’m not some kid who gets excited by stuff like that anymore! Haruka: ……?? Ah, er, i-is it your birthday……? Th-that, ah, um, h-happy birthday…… Futa: …………You will tell nobody about this conversation.

Look he did it. This was not his intended purpose in this conversation. He did not know it was Futa's birthday but it counts.

21/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Mu: Haruka-kun, are you awake……? Happy birthday. Haruka: M-Mu-san? I… I-I’m awake…… Th-thank you, very much. I’m… glad…… Mu: ………… Shall we talk? You know, recently I’ve been pretty interested in you. Haruka: ……!! I-in me…? Hehe, hehehe…… interested, in me.

This comes in right after this in a very interesting way.

21/09/02  (Yuno’s Birthday) Haruka: Y-Yuno-san. Good morning! T-today’s your birthday, right……? Ha-happy birthday……!! Yuno: Oooh…… Thanks? You’ve definitely changed a bit huh, Haruka. You speak a little louder now, and actually look people in the eyes when you talk. Haruka: Eh, ah, i-is that so…… I wasn’t, aware of it myself, but…… Heh, hehe. Is that so. Yuno: Ding ding! My sensor is telling me…… this is probably a girl’s influence. Well, everyone here is slowly changing, I guess. Even me.

Oh Haruka is speaking more clearly and looking people in the eye while talking to them. Now who could he have gotten that from. A girl's influence well hm. Let's keep going to be sure.

21/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Haruka: Ah…… H-happy birthday, Kotoko-san. Kotoko: ……thanks. You’ve definitely changed a bit. Do you remember before? You could barely even talk to me. Haruka: I-is that so? Now that you mention it, I, I maybe have got a bit better since then. ……m-maybe I’ve got more used to being around people. There’s other people here who are interested in me, and, um, in particular Mu-san pays a lot of notice to me…… I… I’m enjoying myself here…… Kotoko: ……hmm. It’s just a theory I have right now, but I get the feeling the outcome of Milgram’s judgements are having some influence on our mental state. Well, I only noticed because I happened to be last up though. Good for you, then. This must mean that you’re fine. ……I’ll accept those birthday wishes.

Success he wished Kotoko a Happy Birthday too. Hm, in particular Mu-san? Isn't Mu younger than Haruka why use san instead of chan. Whelp probably nothing.

22/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Mu: What’s wrong, Haruka-kun? Did something happen? You shouldn’t look away like that when you’re together with me. Haruka: Ah, s-sorry, Mu-san. Um…… No, it’s nothing. I just, suddenly got a feeling. That something is about to happen. Mu: Isn’t that because it’s your birthday? Or perhaps it’s a sign the guard is about to wake up again soon? Fufufu, I bet they’ll be really surprised at a lot of things. Haruka: That, might be true. But, I want the the guard to see. ……the new, me…….

"You speak a little louder now, and actually look people in the eyes when you talk." "A girl's influence." "Mu-san pays a lot of notice to me……" "You shouldn't look away like that."

Well, with some active reading we've determined whats going on here. Haruka has been learning to better communicate with the prisoners through various parties. However, Mu-san the one who pays the most attention with him has been helping him learn how to better communcate with others. Telling him to look people in the eye when speaking to them and to speak clearly as to be heard.

Haruka even asks Mikoto a very similar question to the one Mu asked him when he was going to his first interrogation on his brithday.

Are you going to be ok……?

22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Haruka: Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……? Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……? Haruka: Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you. I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly…… Mikoto: Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself….haha. Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

(Star barging in real quickly! Wanted to say that the way Haruka almost doubles back to apologize after Mikoto responds welcomingly to Haruka's attempt to talk with him reminds me of how Muu apologizes to Shidou for finding him scary after he actively shows worry for her.

20/06/17 Shidou: ……do you mind if we talk? It seems you’ve relaxed a bit more recently, Kusunoki-kun. Mu: Eh... yeah, definitely compared to the start... just a bit. But I’m still scared… we still don’t know what they might do to us. I want to go home soon… I wonder what’s happening there… Papa and Mama must be really worried… Shidou: That’s good… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you.… yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I… hope you can go back soon. Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me…? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were… a scary person… fufu.

Though there are obvious differences, such as Haruka being the instigator of his interaction vs Muu, who was the one being interacted with. Haruka also apologizes for the actions he took, wheras Muu apologized for her old perception. Also when excited or pleased they both end their sentences with a laugh Mu going "Fufu" and Haruka going "Hehe". This has nothing to do with her helping him communicate it's just a cute thing Gunsli and I noticed.)

Then Haruka continues to use his newfound communication skills throughout trial two. For Mu-san's sake that is.

23/02/19 Haruka: Guard, can you hear me? You can, can’t you? Haruka: I meant what I said in the interrogation. ……please forgive Mu-san. 23/04/07 Haruka: Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. PleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-san

Up until the point that won't even work anymore of course.

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing? Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um…… I…… Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…… Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to…… fulfil my promise. For Mu-san’s sake……

At that point the only thing left for him to do is figure out how to act all for Mu's sake of course.

[i-heart-hxh]

Hey! I’ve absolutely been loving your posts and re-posts lately. I’ve been heavily getting back into HxH recently and the Killugon brain rot is real. I’d like to get your opinion on something though. I’ve been thinking a lot about the scene during the “Palm date arc” where Killua and Gon are working out at the gym and Killua asks Gon if he’s been on a date before. Obviously this is a pretty famous scene for a number of reasons, although personally I’ve always found it to be one of the most misunderstood scenes in the entire series, as I’ve yet to see anyone really share my thoughts for what I think Togashi was trying to do with it. It actually showcases his writing skills very well imo, and I think that (besides the very surface level comedy of the interaction) there’s 3 things this whole scene is trying to tell us:

1. Killua and Gon have two entirely different conceptions of dating and what it means, with Gon being either oblivious or innocent to any romantic or intimate meaning while Killua is very much the more mature one who understands those parts of dating. This is probably the most.

2. Killua is clearly upset and put off by the idea of Gon going on dates with anyone, and arguably very jealous when Gon tells him about past “dates”.

3. Killua has no desire to go on dates with people, and just wants to stay by Gon’s side “forever” when the subject of dating is brought up.

Now, I have much longer form explanations and evidence for all of these points I can give but I’d like to see your interpretation of my thoughts first, as again, I think this is both of one of the most misunderstood scenes in the whole series, and one of the most important for understanding Killua and Gon’s dynamic and how they feel about relationships

Hello! Thank you so much, it makes me happy to hear you're enjoying my posts. I've been internally cultivating my HxH brainrot for years and it feels good to finally be able to share more of it. I'm so glad you sent this to me so I can weigh in, I'd love to hear your additional thoughts as well!

This is an excellent analysis and you're spot on! I love that you're focusing on a small scene rather than the arc as a whole, because it makes it easier to pull apart each aspect of it and the intended meaning without having to leave things out. I think the larger context of this subplot does nothing but support what you're saying, too.

The thing that stands out to me with these panels is how much Togashi is emphasizing Killua's shock and stress over this. The huge metaphorical boulder, his expressions, he is clearly bothered. And sure, it is comedic because Killua is not understanding Gon here because of their different levels of awareness, but I don't think that takes away from what is being said. The scene could have been set up in a way that doesn't immediately conjure up the concept of jealousy on Killua's part, but Togashi makes it clear over and over again in this arc how panicked and upset Killua is at the thought of Gon going on a date (with someone who is unhinged, but while Killua is certainly concerned about that, he seems just as bothered by the thought of Gon going on a date specifically).

As the audience, I think we gather by Gon's line about Mito that he's not talking about real dates, and that the things they were teaching him were probably innocent (I sometimes see people taking this at surface level, but I really think Togashi is being tongue-in-cheek here and showing us that Gon's view of what dates are is innocent and lacks context). But of course Killua is in the middle of a gay crisis here and he doesn't catch on and misunderstands.

Then, so shortly after, we're into Killua stating he wanted to stay with Gon forever (ずっと). I didn't like how the English version of this line was phrased, seemed like it was being downplayed a bit and didn't contain the word "forever," so here it is in Japanese. I think it's incredibly telling how it goes immediately from thinking about Gon going on dates and denying that he has been on dates (because he was learning to kill and then with Gon) into this line, and especially with how downright pained Killua's expression is at the thought of having to leave Gon, as he promised himself. It's hard to come up with any other explanation for this scene, you know?

This is more my own interpretation than straight-up analysis, but I think this is maybe another straw in the pile of Killua thinking his feelings for Gon are one-sided as well, as he struggles with through all of CAA--in Killua's misunderstood/mistaken view here, Gon has been on multiple dates and has experience with romance and therefore he might be more "normal," while Killua feels like his whole world is Gon--and he doesn't seem interested in the thought of going on dates himself, all he comes back to is wanting to be with Gon. It might widen the chasm between them a little bit in Killua's eyes.

Anyway, all of this is basically just expounding on what you already said. I appreciate how you summed it up so clearly and succinctly! I agree that it's a great example of Togashi's writing, which is very rich, and often even small scenes like this have multiple meanings and intentions we can take from them if we look at them carefully. His eye for detail is incredible.

Like I said above, the full arc's context surrounding this scene only supports the conclusions you came to--there are more examples throughout of Killua's jealousy in this specifically romantic context, Gon's lack of full awareness on this topic, and Killua's devotion to Gon. It's so telling of Togashi's intentions that ultimately the Palm subplot concludes with Palm of all people emphasizing that Killua is the one Gon needs.

[ukfrislandembassy]

I think linguistics has a huge methodological problem, in that while there exist some formalised methodologies for conducting investigations, it's clear that you don't have to pursue any of them to actually get ahead academically because linguists aren't actually as scientifically rigorous as they would like to think.

This has knock-on effects for more general experimental design, because it is extremely common to find studies which purport to prove/disprove some hypothesis, but when you actually look at the methodology they use you find that it doesn't actually provide evidence for the point they're attempting to make.

Of course the most common place to find this kind of stuff is in the Generativist literature, which is awash with claims the phenomena they describe is only explainable through the assumption of Universal Grammar/a Language Organ/whatever, when in fact non-innatist models work just as well. But this isn't the only part of the field that is susceptible to this.

So for instance there was a paper put out in Science recently that claims to have found evidence to counteract the idea that social structure can have an impact on the structure of the language (most notably explicated by Peter Trudgill in his 2011 book Sociolinguistic Typology, give it a read if you can find it). They take demographic data from Ethnologue and compares this with a couple of metrics which supposedly quantify linguistic complexity.

Leaving aside the (sometimes glaring) issues with the way the metrics are defined (they perhaps could have done with reading Dahl 2004 The Growth and Maintenance of Linguistic Complexity), we can already spot a major problem with using these correlations to make claims regarding the Sociolinguistic Typology hypothesis: the phenomena in question are explicitly diachronic in nature, but the data being used to assess them is solely synchronic.

What do I mean by this? It's been suggested that English morphology is less complex relative to e.g. German because of contact with the large numbers of Old Norse speakers that settled in the Danelaw. The trouble is, of course, that all those Norse speakers later shifted to English, so this large community of L2 learners won't show up in the data, despite the effects still being apparent after over 1000 years. Similar points can be made about most of the languages where these kinds of effects have been proposed: it was precisely the process of these languages spreading rapidly and acquiring a large speakerbase in a disorganised fashion that cause these changes to occur. Indeed, the authors specifically note that education and official language status are factors that would mitigate against the failures of L2 transmission that are claimed to cause these simplification effects, but don't then seem to acknowledge that this is a major issue for extrapolating the correlations anywhere further back than the 19th Century.

I think there are several things going on here which have led to this kind of thing being possible. Firstly, linguistics has always had an uneasy continuing relationship with the rest of the humanities and parts of the sciences (particularly neurobiology and acoustics), because it touches on so many of them at once. Secondly, and relatedly, we've had a fairly significant period where the core theoretical concerns of linguistics were essentially driven by a philosopher (Chomsky), which created a model of research that explicitly rejected empirical work and argued for much of its base assumptions (such as 'Poverty of the Stimulus') almost entirely by thought experiment. Empirically minded subfields continued to exist (Trudgill for instance made his career as a sociolinguist), but empiricism has been slow to make a return to theoretical linguistics. As a result, it seems to me that, at least in typology, people are still getting to grips with the idea of formulating hypotheses and actually working out tests that actually assess those hypotheses. Thirdly, because again of Chomsky, linguistics has had a strongly mathematical character in terms of its conception of language, and this again still lingers in the design of these kinds of studies. Everything has to be quantified in such a way that a simple computer model can work with it, but the trouble is there's frequently little room for the nuances of individual languages (e.g. Irish and Welsh are both counted on WALS as having the same value for inflection on adpositions, but actually a detailed study of the two languages reveals their systems work really quite differently, as I'll perhaps post on another time) which can therefore have knock-on effects for the analysis of any correlations thus derived.

[livinggeekchic]

I’ve been thinking a lot more about Harvey on my most recent reread of Purple Hyacinth. He is set up as this kind of bumbling but good-natured kid, whose death hits us hard—only for us to later find out that he was a spy for the Phantom Scythe all along. And we, like Lauren, feel betrayed.

But we are given clues that everything is not as it seems. To start, Bella tells Kieran that Harvey was eliminated because he wasn’t useful.

That got me thinking about this set of panels. March and Hermann are having a conversation about Lune. This is surely information that the leader would be interested in hearing about. Harvey is in the perfect position to listen in, walking by with a stack of papers. But instead, he hightails it out of there. If you zoom in, you can see the “spinning” of his feet, he’s booking it so fast out of there.

So while he was a spy, he either wasn’t a very good one, or he didn’t really want to be one. We also see Harvey mentioning that he has to do his best for his grandpa--is it possible that his grandfather needs money, and that's why he's doing it? This is just one possibility of many. Kieran says as much to Lauren, after she tells him that Harvey was a mole. Kieran knows there are many reasons someone might join the Phantom Scythe, but Lauren is still thinking in black and white--right and wrong. While it makes sense that Lauren feels betrayed, she's failing to grasp the nuance of the situation.

Nothing showcases this better than Harvey’s funeral. We see Harvey’s grandfather violently sobbing, obviously devastated. He says “you didn’t need to try so hard.” (Another indicator that Harvey was likely making choices for his grandfather’s benefit.)

And how does Lauren react? Her expression here doesn’t look like one of sympathy, or even pity. She looks shocked and almost affronted. She’s so consumed by her hatred of the Phantom Scythe, for what happened at Allendale, that she can’t even see Harvey as a person. She can stand by and watch his close family member grieve, and all she thinks is, “they don’t know what I know.” But regardless of what misdeeds Harvey committed, he was still loved. He still deserves to be mourned.

She calls him a traitor. She’s almost disgusted by the fact that everyone is mourning him. But was he really a traitor? How much information did he actually give the Scythe? He was "useless" after all. Even if he did help the Scythe stall the APD's investigations, we know he wasn't this inherently evil character. He was genuinely concerned for his coworkers' safety. Lauren tells us that he never lied or showed any signs of being part of the PS. She sees this as evidence that she was blind to the truth, but I think she's actually blind to the fact that not everyone in the PS is "the enemy." Their motivations can be complicated.

In S1, Lauren views Kieran similarly. He’s an assassin, and therefore, he is reprehensible. She can’t understand why it's so important to him that he kills only when ordered or when it's the only solution. She doesn't really attempt to unearth his reasoning for wanting to take down the leader, beyond asking about it just once. She is inflexible, and rigid in her thinking: good people don't work for the Phantom Scythe. But of course, we come to see that it's more complicated than that.

A lot happens in S2 that helps open her eyes to this, which I won’t go into now. But I will leave you with a quote from Kieran in episode 93: “all these years within this wretched organization have taught me…it’s not a monolith. Not everyone agrees nor is aware of what is truly going on.”

Perhaps Harvey truly didn’t know the half of it. Maybe he was given a chance to provide for his grandfather and took it. Maybe he was told that the Scythe was helping the poor, and he related to that struggle. Maybe he was told they would only use the info he gave them to protect themselves from the APD, and wouldn't ever go on the offense. Ultimately, we don’t know. But what I do know is that if Harvey was outed as a spy in S3, I think Lauren would try harder to understand.

[katyspersonal]

Were Marika and Radagon always the same being from the beginning or they were separate people who got fused later on?

Oh boy, I've almost missed this ask in the tidal wave of Sephi spam from THOSE TWO LITTLE PRICKS!!!!!!, but yes thank you for the question! My theory on the matter is:

This for me ties into a couple of things: 1) the idea that when something bad happens with a (demi)god, they are likely to develop an alter as defence mechanism that I mostly base on the theory that Trina and their purple 'sleep' flame happened as response to Miquella being scorched by Frenzy (more here: ( x )) and 2) theme of 'astral projections' that have transcendental knowledge compared with the 'rest of the person' which is more plain!

Recently I've also discussed theme of "if you want to defeat the thing, become the thing" like with dragons, but I decided to discard the idea that Marika willingly inflicted curse of the giants onto herself! But existence of Radagon is exactly what I think happened with Marika - a curse of the giants!

I think that "they say Marika has slain the Fell God" is taken at face value here, they 'say' it because it happened very long time ago and there are almost no witnesses left rather than a rumour! Sure, I still "await for the return of my Lord" (for the one who will precisely re-translate Japanese script), but I am happy with this for now! Yet, 'their flames will never die' refers to Marika having taken up that curse in the moment she killed the Fell God! This is why she was able to pass the curse mark onto the last Fire Giant that survived: because now the curse was her, taken from the Fell God by slaying him.

But, although she was able to get rid of the flame by giving it to the Fire Giant, the impact already left its side-effect on her very being! I still need DLC to confirm or deny whether Trina exists for 'unhappy reason' as I can't tell whether more info on them was cut due to time limitations or rewriting, I am just using it as an extra backup for now! Regardless, it is safe to say that since Fire Giants are all male and Marika was a female, it caused the conflict and so Radagon turned in to exist as male. So yeah kill gods carefully of you'll get cursed with dysphoria idk I am bad at philosophical conclusions

^ I also think that the curse left its mark on Marika genetically, and her children would show traces of it from time to time! Radahn is the biggest evidence of it in my eyes! He started to learn gravitational magic so he could still ride Leonard, which means that he was growing massive even before learning it! Other demigods have no problem staying very human-sized so I think his massive size is not an effect of his massive power, but traces of Giants' 'genes' showing!

I am also considering the ideas that 1) Morgott might have had a fire of his own as result of it, that he sealed into blade, since unlike with Mohg his fire doesn't link to interacting with Formless Mother 2) Rykard might have had natural affinity towards fires as side-effect of such 'genes', that only made his research of fire sorcery easier, and it simply was coincidental that fire reflects heresy

3) Maybe the third eye imagery that is only so far seen in Godwyn's Prince of Death form and Trina's side of Miquella is the secret less obvious effect, that only manifests after something bad happens to them? Since the cyclopic eye is the mark of the Fell God! Again, I need information on Trina first, but so far this works! So yeah. 'Evil eye'.

(Screenshot of Godwyn's model from Zullie's video: ( x ))

I also take the script occasionally from this ( x ) document, but yeah. In Japanese, it is a bit more blatant that he is her other self literally, not metaphorically! She also uses 'omae', a pretty derogatory way to refer to someone. She looks down on this side of herself, which is interesting, but also why? And why Radagon disagreed with her idea to scatter the Elden Ring and let the history sort itself?

This is what made me think of how the separation aspect of them played out! I believe that they are able to exist within the same body, as we can clearly see through the cutscene, but also to split. The thing is? There are precedents of it in the game as well! Sellen and Dung Eater both are under the situation where their real bodies, and real selves are in imprisonment and are suffering without being aware of their astral projections. Their astral projections, however? They are quite aware of where their bodies are and what is going on, but can think independently. The 'body' and the 'mind' are able to exist in separation in The Lands Between. Let's also not forget the case of powerful illusions like the ones of Rennala and Mohg, who are basically the auto-receivers that were set to kick your ass lol x) It is also my idea on why it is named The Lands Between to begin with: because this is where physical and mental blend together, to the point both are equally tangible and perceivable!

Basically? When Marika and Radagon are split, it is very much like this. He would be her 'physical body', living and thinking on his own, not aware of Marika's opinions and plans, whereas Marika would be same as those astral projections that told Tarnished 'oh by the way my actual body is imprisoned in this or that location'. Knowing more and planning more, being aware of what the 'body' thinks and experiences without the reverse being true, however, being limited until the 'body' is returned to the owner. So that's why Radagon would not think and feel exactly the same as Marika: not only he was able to live his own life, but also he understands less than the "transcendental" part which makes astral projections. Marika maybe had the plan to scatter the Ring and let it all sort itself out, so the conflict would let only someone capable of levelling with her lost Godwyn to raise at the top and come and replace her. She generally thinks very far ahead, as the 'higher self' that she is, which Radagon can't do and he just studies and understands the things as they are.

So yeah.. In the conclusion, I think it was the curse of the Giants but specifically the side-effect of slaying the Fell God, yet she sealed the curse she inherited from the act in the last survivor too late and her 'genes' already got traces of it! Radagon is valid but by all laws that strangely split people in the Lands Between he is her "lesser" half that thinks on more grounded plane. We could, again, see from Sellen and Dung Eater that 'body' and 'astral projection' are able to fuse back into one entity, yet Radagon and Marika are still in the conflict?

I like to think it came from Marika herself despising this more "human" side of herself.. Sure, she is not alien to human flaws herself, as someone that set many unfair laws in motion just because of her fears and set the world into war from her grief, but you can't just SAY that hahah; She wants to be perfect, invulnerable, all-powerful, and Radagon is just "not that", not yet. I am pretty sure a big part of it is Marika's very pragmatic view on relationship, whereas Radagon *gasp* had the nerve to truly love Rennala! She only can truly become one with him when his flaws and vulnerabilities are eradicated and he is the same cold, calculating, clever, machiavellian entity as herself, literally just her but male. And, well... this hasn't been this way so far, so in turn, the two are at the conflict. He thinks of the other people and the world, and doesn't believe it is right to betray the Greater Will and the mortals born under it like that, when she decides to just let the world suffer and burn. Ironically, her "lowly" half had more sympathy and reason than her "dignified" half, after all.

This is all very interesting to think about, but so far a lot of this lingers on the conclusions I still need to confirm or deny via DLC! Anyways it was interesting to think about and put together!