#people are assholes this community is no better

[caughtthedarkness93]

This kind of reminds me of one of the reasons I left Reddit - I saw the same discourse happening in ace communities where you'd get sex favorable aces angry about how underrepresented they felt and how so much ace humor was built around an assumption of a distaste for sex. You'd start to see a bunch of posts and comments about that, and then it would die out and a couple weeks later, you'd get a bunch of posts towards the other end - less sex favorable aces starting to feel ignored and like a space where they're free of the aggressive sexuality that seems to weed its way into much of the world is absent is being encroached upon.

And you'd see this pattern over and over and over again, like a pendulum swinging between two extremes. It never stopped. It was totally cyclical. And it wasn't just ace communities - autistic communities too got into constant fights between high and low support needs people about who was more underrepresented, whose needs were more ignored.

And it just kind of impressed on me how no one outside the communities in question cares about these fights. And I'm not gonna say it completely doesn't matter, but people are assholes to both. They don't care what level of sex favorable you are, they don't care about your support needs. They care about shutting you up.

People on the other side of an issue within your community aren't your enemy. If you pick a fight with them, even if you win, you lose. Because when you start endless infighting in a community, the people who really win are the people who have a vested interest in harming that community.

In the end, yeah, there's probably an answer somewhere to who wins the oppression Olympics, but it's not the type of thing that I think really matters much. When two people are about to get eaten by a bear, the last thing they should do is start bickering about who's likely to taste better because yeah, the bear might think one of them will, but that's not gonna stop it from eating both of them.

They should be thinking about how they can work together to help each other to safety. So too should we.

the asexual double edged sword is that a lot of people, particularly queer discoursers(tm) online, are really really rancid about ace people who have sex, I mean like stunningly awful, so naturally sex favorable/indifferent asexuals will be very keen on making sure that they aren't erased within their own community and that people at large know they exist. at the same time, people are also Very Bad about ace people who don't have sex, and sex averse/repulsed asexuals face a lot of pressure both on societal and interpersonal scales to submit to sex that they don't want, and so naturally it'll really rub them the wrong way to constantly have "but don't worry, ace people can still conform to the societal expectation!" appended to their PSAs about their experiences of asexuality. and so everyone's just kinda upset and annoyed all the time when instead it should be peace and love on planet ace.

[kennytheworkingclasshero]

Kenny is so empathetic, sweet and almost too forgiving it's crazy. Of course, we see this the most with his sister. As we have established he has taken on a caregiver role when it comes to Karen, and we see him get angry at his father for shouting at her in "The City Part of Town" and goes to follow her when she walks away sad, most likely to comfort her. Later on in that same episode, we see him spending his wage on a doll for her, reaffirming that its for her when she asks "this is mine?" in shock, because she rarely gets nice things. This carries on in "The Poor Kid" when he uses Mysterion to comfort and protect her, as well as trying to do the same when he's just Kenny.

He shares his empathy with his friends, particularly with Butters in "Going Native", he could have ignored the others who insisted he was the one who should go and bring him back home from the airport but he went anyway. He held his hand, he stopped him from shooting his mouth off and he pursued this journey with Butters in order to get him to calm down when he didn't have to.

But while it is clear that Kenny is kind and unassuming, his friends do not extend the same kindness back. They turn their backs on him in "The Scoots", saying they can't carry on their tradition of Trick Or Treating together, even though they do it every year. They don't rent out a scooter for him or abandon their idea altogether when they realise Kenny can't get one. No, they see his sadness, see him walk away with his bucket that he was so excited to get and they let him go in order to fulfil their own selfish needs. It's not just Cartman, the easily identifiable asshole but also the seemingly moralistic Kyle and Stan who give into classism and allow their friend to feel bad. But when the scooters breakdown, Kenny joins them as if nothing happened, ignoring their prejudice and welcoming them back with open arms. In the end, he was just happy that he was "able to spend the rest of the night with my friends, because we were all equal again." Even though they aren't equal, and they made that abundantly clear, he was happy to give into the illusion of equality for the night just to be with them once more.

To me, Kenny's kindness is directly linked to his working class roots. It is well documented that people who are in less advantaged or part of a social minority are more likely to show up for others (we also see this with Kyle and Wendy, both being in minority groups) whether that is through community organising, mutual aid, political activism or simply being a kind person. His lived experience of not having much, of living on the bad side of town, of having to step up as a caregiver at the age of 9, of seeing his parents inebriated and physically violent, has made him more emotionally mature than anyone else his age. Therefore he is kinder, better and that makes me love him that much more

[voided-selfships]

Actually so fucking glad I don't look through the selfship tag

[yelow-heart]

Welcome twt immigrants or just newcomers o///

Every week a new wave of twt refugees arrive and so I decided to put together a tumblr 101 to keep ur experience the most stress free and safe as possible

So here it goes:

You can delete comments or plain out disable comments from your posts! So much control.

You can also edit your posts. It even was a meme back on the olden days where a post would go viral and then the op (original poster) would change the post to something silly and the reblogers would look like wierdos or dumdums lol

You can disable your asks or make a rule so people can't ask as anonymous

Report spams!! You can even get rewarded for it. But, even so, report it, they get immediately taken down temporarily

The report system work and the tumblr team is very responsible when investigating an account/post. It's not nuance and easy to make. No one will judge you for it, in fact, it's common culture to do so. It's how we battle pornbots, spams, hate blogs etc.

You have full control of your blog! What people can see, what it can show, block hashtags and the whole shbang.

The algorithm works! Only the things that YOU search for and like will be recommended to you. And if something u no longer has interest in shows up? Just click that u don't want anymore and immediately everything u don't want goes away.

There are many famous blogs that are fun to follow, specifically as newcomer, to really get u on the tumblr experience such as: heritageposts, thebootydiaries, hotboyproblems, showerthoughtsofficial, fartgallery, haikubotofficial and many others. These are just the ones I followed when first arrived back in 2016;

Yes, there are celebrities among us but they're just... here. Vibing, chilling. The most famous ones being Neil Gaiman and Taylor Swift. Here they are just people;

You might have noticed a lot of blogs with blue verification badges. Some with 20 of them. Some are rainbow! That's because Tumblr made a parody of the verification mark from twt and it was fcking hilarius. We loved it so much that it's a thing now. U too can feel very important if u want!

It's worth going the trending tags. Sometimes they are broken, but it's mostly memes or important world news stuff that are actually relevant and helpful. It's safe and you'll have a fun time lurking on other people's fandoms. That's actually how I got into some of my fandoms to begin with;

Crabs.

And there we have it! I might have forgotten something, but I not too worried as I know that people might add it later on. 😉

Welcome welcome!! You'll be safe here. No matter who you are you find a community for you here

It's a hellsite, but it's our hellsite

Remembered something:

It's important to have a profile picture and header image. An reblog a few things before following anyone. Or you will be reported because people will think you're a spam bot kkkkkkkkk so do nurture your blog a little bit before venturing into the unknown.

[breelandwalker]

To any witch with holiday anxiety.

To anyone who has to hide the witchy side of themselves from family or coworkers during the winter holidays.

To anyone who has to edit their home decor before relatives visit to avoid an argument.

To anyone who can't celebrate their chosen winter holidays due to an incompatible (or unsafe) home environment.

To anyone who has to grit their teeth through religious services or family gatherings out of obligation or because they don't have a choice.

To anyone who is mentally exhausted by culturally-omnipresent religious trappings well before the holidays even arrive.

To anyone longing for the day when they no longer have to grin and bear it through seasonal festivals or family dinners or office parties where they feel out of place.

To anyone who has to put up with exclusion or insults or outright trauma that make the holidays a season to be endured rather than enjoyed.

December will be over soon. Things will get better. And someday you will be in a place and a position where you can live the life you truly want, where none of their silly little opinions or restrictions or cruelty can touch you or hurt you ever again.

Live, survive, and thrive in spite of them. And let them rot.

Stay strong. 💜

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Maybe if you people stop treating your coworkers like mindless NPCs or evil incarnate you'd feel less lonely. It wouldn't kill you to talk with and have compassion for the people you work with.

[ghostboyhood]

no fucking wayyy dude

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about superheroes unfortunately

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[juniperjelly]

i think people who argue about minecraft saying shit like "the devs are lazy and bad!" or "these updates are free and you should be grateful!" need to understand that these are both equally stupid takes devoid of nuance or critical thought

[savage-rhi]

MAGENTA.

[butchvamp]

ohhh my god i need to get off this website

[gentil-minou]

Hi! Please vote for wangxian in the @ao3topshipsbracket we are losing for a small percentage and it is gonna close in 6 hours

i have!!! but maybe a kind follower will aid us in our time of need!

[glovehearts]

whatever the issues with the yotes, taking a team from a diverse community to drop it in the middle of white mormon country is not a good look but I guess you can’t expect anything less from the nhl

[orcelito]

I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?

Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.

Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.

[feralsteddie]

Listen, as someone who grew up in various trailers parks from time to time, I do gotta say the romanticisation of trailers in this fandom is both hilarious and endearing