#people are assholes this community is no better

[antarescamusxo]

YES THEY ARE IN LOVE!

Well, honestly, I can see both.

Imo Sirius and Remus would clash due to their differences. The environment they were raised has completely built different people, with different trauma responses, so being that they would have some issues. In one universe, they might have solved them. In some, they wouldn't be able to.

In the ones they wouldn’t, I can see Remus pulling the same move he pulled with Tonks. His fears and insecurities would probably get the better of him, and I also think that he might go in the line of thinking that Sirius will leave me either way, so I'm going to leave him first.

I think if the above happens, Sirius would try to reason with him up to a certain point, but while I believe Sirius to be a fighter, I don't believe him to be a fighter in love, so he most likely would stop communicating and leave Remus to his own misery until things get messy.

The same line of thinking would go if Sirius broke up with him first. Here, I think Sirius would either make Remus break up with him, hard-core manipulation mode, and it will involve a lot of toxic thinking such as seeing how far he can push Remus, how much can he be tolerated and loved, also not wanting to let go of Remus but also not wanting to grow attached to him bcs he's scared of that, so he makes Remus leave him, so technically it wouldn't be his fault.

Or, if I don't follow the root of Sirius' being a little emotionally manipulative asshole, I think he would break up due to not liking the sudden vulnerability he has to give in, and probably thinks that being in a relationship takes away his freedom bcs as stated Sirius is not the type of person to settle in, so again it would be like, "I love you, but I don't love us."

headcanon james potter has one sided and unspoken (except hissed in midnight conferences on either james or sirius’ bed under cover of muffliato) beef with remus after wolfstar gets together bc no one is good enough for his best friend… even his other best friend

“prongs he’s my boyfriend and frankly he is wonderful please respect our relationship”

“i JUST THINK that if he wants to date you he should be more aware of how incredibly lucky he is. you’re sirius bloody black does he KNOW that?? does he worship you enough?? never mind. i know the answer. he can’t worship you enough.”

“jamie, you were in full support of this union a week ago.”

“i just need him to be aware of how incredible you are. is he aware?”

because even though james loves remus- and he absolutely does! he would kill and die for him! -he did NOT anticipate how jealous he would be of anyone else taking sirius’ attention. or how much disdain he would inherently carry, try as he might, for anyone who didn’t understand sirius on that same molecular level. and remus doesn’t- sirius and remus love each other, are attracted to each other, match in a hundred ways. but they aren’t made from the same cloth the way james and sirius are. he’s protective of sirius- he’s been through a lot, and the mere prospect of someone being in a position where they could hurt him more is maddening. it feels like losing control- and james needs to keep his people safe. it was different with all the girls- sirius was playing them. he was never gone the way he’s gone with remus. he was still james’.

remus has no clue that any of this is happening until james asks sirius who he would save in a fire in a tone just too desperate to be joking.

peter, on the other hand, knows everything, as Lily’s been tutoring him in potions and hearing James’ jealous rants for weeks.

[voided-selfships]

Actually so fucking glad I don't look through the selfship tag

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[dykesynthezoid]

I competently understand where you’re coming from, but I want to be clear that my argument against shame has nothing to do with moral purity. I’m not interested in moralistic judgments, that’s kind of the whole point. I’m interested in what’s effective, and what’s logically and ideologically sound.

You have every right to be angry. I hear you.

But I’m saying that shaming won’t fix anything, and if it can’t fix anything, then it won’t help anyone. It’s not that I’m just randomly hyperconcerned with not hurting the feelings of people who don’t mask. I am concerned with what works. And I’m concerned with what works because that is what will help people.

I am telling you that from a sociology, public health, and medical anthropology standpoint, as someone who is studying those things, that shaming is unlikely to be effective at changing people’s behavior to mask. That’s all.

Like it literally just isn’t effective. And there’s nothing you or I can do to change that. The anger and grief and alienation of being a disabled person in our deeply ableist society is real and present in every moment, but shaming can’t change that. And any catharsis it gives hurts as much as it soothes, at least in my experience. I don’t ever feel better by looking down on other people, even when I judge it to be morally warranted. I just feel even more alienated.

Regardless, I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with people being assholes and I know how heavily that weight can grow and grow over time. I completely understand that it’s hard to be pragmatic about an issue that is so deeply painful and frustrating. And I don’t think you or I should ever have to “owe” anyone a version of ourselves that’s always logical or understanding, which is unfortunately a standard disabled people are often held to. But if we’re talking about how to approach encouraging masking as a community and beyond, I believe all evidence points to the fact that shaming isn’t an effective tactic. And this was a conversation you opened the door to by reblogging my post and including your tags, although I can understand how you might still have not expected the response.

Being a disabled person is like. Supposed “activists” keep going around saying things like “how can anyone still use (highly accessible thing unfortunately run by a garbage monster company), the LEAST you should do is stop using that” and it’s a person who hasn’t worn a mask once since 2021

[schemelin]

More of my Lone Wanderer!

[heliomanteia]

This might come off as sort of... corny? Cheesy? but half the joy has been the friends we made along the way.

There are going to be vitriolic morons that will use corporate layoffs we've been witnessing for a while to portray the latest installment in a negative light. Ignore them. Block the hell out of a part of the fandom if you need to, the whining is ever-present around these places. Enjoy the game. It is a good, lore accurate Dragon Age game. It introduced a lot of new people to the wider franchise. There are people playing other installments for the first time and it's a joy to see. It is a breath of fresh air. Enter a better part of the community, make friends if you wish, hell knows it's so easy to do when this game inspired such a flow of creative energy.

Dragon Age has always been crafted by its loving fans as much as it was shaped by its talented devs. There would not be Dragon Age without its creators (put some damn respect on their names) and there would not be Dragon Age as we know it without its enthusiastic community.

A franchise is only as good as the people who love it. Personally, DA has been there for me through some of the fundamental times of my life, it's changed me and changed with me. It is my special interest, it is my lifelong friend, and it is going to stay. I don't need corporate approval to find joy in things and I do not pin my enjoyment on how high something ranked in a list made by people who only care about profit. Hope you can find joy too. Stick around.

The gold and glory are yours now, to use as you will.

[yelow-heart]

Welcome twt immigrants or just newcomers o///

Every week a new wave of twt refugees arrive and so I decided to put together a tumblr 101 to keep ur experience the most stress free and safe as possible

So here it goes:

You can delete comments or plain out disable comments from your posts! So much control.

You can also edit your posts. It even was a meme back on the olden days where a post would go viral and then the op (original poster) would change the post to something silly and the reblogers would look like wierdos or dumdums lol

You can disable your asks or make a rule so people can't ask as anonymous

Report spams!! You can even get rewarded for it. But, even so, report it, they get immediately taken down temporarily

The report system work and the tumblr team is very responsible when investigating an account/post. It's not nuance and easy to make. No one will judge you for it, in fact, it's common culture to do so. It's how we battle pornbots, spams, hate blogs etc.

You have full control of your blog! What people can see, what it can show, block hashtags and the whole shbang.

The algorithm works! Only the things that YOU search for and like will be recommended to you. And if something u no longer has interest in shows up? Just click that u don't want anymore and immediately everything u don't want goes away.

There are many famous blogs that are fun to follow, specifically as newcomer, to really get u on the tumblr experience such as: heritageposts, thebootydiaries, hotboyproblems, showerthoughtsofficial, fartgallery, haikubotofficial and many others. These are just the ones I followed when first arrived back in 2016;

Yes, there are celebrities among us but they're just... here. Vibing, chilling. The most famous ones being Neil Gaiman and Taylor Swift. Here they are just people;

You might have noticed a lot of blogs with blue verification badges. Some with 20 of them. Some are rainbow! That's because Tumblr made a parody of the verification mark from twt and it was fcking hilarius. We loved it so much that it's a thing now. U too can feel very important if u want!

It's worth going the trending tags. Sometimes they are broken, but it's mostly memes or important world news stuff that are actually relevant and helpful. It's safe and you'll have a fun time lurking on other people's fandoms. That's actually how I got into some of my fandoms to begin with;

Crabs.

And there we have it! I might have forgotten something, but I not too worried as I know that people might add it later on. 😉

Welcome welcome!! You'll be safe here. No matter who you are you find a community for you here

It's a hellsite, but it's our hellsite

Remembered something:

It's important to have a profile picture and header image. An reblog a few things before following anyone. Or you will be reported because people will think you're a spam bot kkkkkkkkk so do nurture your blog a little bit before venturing into the unknown.

[breelandwalker]

To any witch with holiday anxiety.

To anyone who has to hide the witchy side of themselves from family or coworkers during the winter holidays.

To anyone who has to edit their home decor before relatives visit to avoid an argument.

To anyone who can't celebrate their chosen winter holidays due to an incompatible (or unsafe) home environment.

To anyone who has to grit their teeth through religious services or family gatherings out of obligation or because they don't have a choice.

To anyone who is mentally exhausted by culturally-omnipresent religious trappings well before the holidays even arrive.

To anyone longing for the day when they no longer have to grin and bear it through seasonal festivals or family dinners or office parties where they feel out of place.

To anyone who has to put up with exclusion or insults or outright trauma that make the holidays a season to be endured rather than enjoyed.

December will be over soon. Things will get better. And someday you will be in a place and a position where you can live the life you truly want, where none of their silly little opinions or restrictions or cruelty can touch you or hurt you ever again.

Live, survive, and thrive in spite of them. And let them rot.

Stay strong. 💜

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about superheroes unfortunately

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Maybe if you people stop treating your coworkers like mindless NPCs or evil incarnate you'd feel less lonely. It wouldn't kill you to talk with and have compassion for the people you work with.

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[ghostboyhood]

no fucking wayyy dude

[cetoddle]

i love the sims 2 community so much. everyone is so respectful and truly kind

[primordialruin]

Big misconception about boundaries: they are for yourself, not other people. You can tell someone that something makes you uncomfortable and hopefully they'll care enough not to do it, but you should never rely on that hope. You set a boundary for yourself. If they do something after you have stated your feelings, then respect your own boundary and disengage.

[savage-rhi]

MAGENTA.

[butchvamp]

ohhh my god i need to get off this website