#people always say 'it gets better'
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i'm extremely depressed
#i'm on the waitlist for social housing - the employment services for disabled people - the autism support service#once approved for social housing it takes another 10-12 years to get somewhere to live#applied for autism support service back in january and six months later i was 70th on the list#employability said december is the earliest they'd contact me#i'm tired all the time even though i'm not anaemic anymore#there's no way out#people always say 'it gets better'#EVERYTHING and i mean FUCKING EVERYTHING has gotten worse since i was 12#every year of my 20s has been a shitshow#there is no evidence in life that things get better#things don't improve#they never have#and i'm going to die on this miserable fucking island#misc: personal#depression cw
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Heh...Literally nothing personal, kid.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#sect leader yao#This episode has a lot of scenes I know people are excited for and starting here seems odd but here me out:#The sheer hilarity of this opening scene was too good to not give a highlight to.#Dare I say it? I think this is THE most underrated scene in the whole series.#You have one guy flashing WWX his prosthetic leg. Another complains about his dead parents.#And the third guy? He has no personal grievances at all. He's just here to be included.#You cannot get better comedic timing than that. Sect leader Yao you will always be famous to me.#There is also something to be said about how this scene is about shifting blame and holding a false trial.#And we also have the main theme about rumours vs truth in how Sect leader Yao is only here based on what he's been told to beleive.#And WWX is so exhausted by the blame! He was one breath away from saying 'form a queue and I'll take your complaints one by one'#WWX (overall) didn't do those things directly but he's the one the responsibility falls on.#Despite the fact that the first siege was *not* incited by him. It's like hitting someone and getting mad your fist got hurt.#What a brilliantly frustrating scene!#Anyways next up are the long awaited pheonix mountain flashabck scenes. We finally made it.#and AHH Season 3!!! The last stretch! Thank you all for rooting me on up until this point!
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I find the fact that the confrontation at the end of UTRH is often summarized as Jason asking Bruce to kill the Joker for him fascinating.
Because that's not what happened.
Jason holds a gun up to Joker's head, gives Bruce another, and tells him that if Bruce doesn't do something (shoot Jason), he will kill Joker.
Jason doesn't give the gun to Bruce so that he would shoot Joker. He isn't expecting Bruce to pull the trigger on the clown. He's asking Bruce to do nothing. To be inactive. Because that will still be a choice, and despite having done nothing, everybody clearly agrees that Bruce would still, at least in part, be responsible for Joker's death.
...And to me, this moment is a kind of- microcosm, of the rest of Jason's point. Because after being captured and carted off to Arkham, the villain will escape again, and will kill more people. The only way to truly prevent that from happening would be to kill them; Bruce refuses to do so, and I respect his right to choose such a thing for himself, but it is still a choice, and if we agree that Bruce's inaction during the confrontation would leave him at least partly responsible for the Joker's death, then we must also agree that his inaction in permanently preventing the Rogues from killing more people means he is also, partly, responsible for all of those deaths.
#my dc posting#batman#dc#bruce wayne#jason todd#joker#uhh is this like analysis or meta#anyway. to me this is the message that scene sends#if we say bruce doing nothing would mean he assisted in the murder of joker then bruce doing nothing about the villains means he is also#responsible for those deaths#ANYWAY yes b4 you come at me;;#bruce's belief in rehabilitation and that everyone can get better is central to his character#and i love it and no i dont actually think he should kill the rogues or whatever#but the question there is. Are you fine with the future victims your decisions will cause?#Are their lives worth the slim chance any of these people will get better?#batman says yes theyre worth it. red hood says no theyre not.#thats the fundamental moral difference there#its why jason challenges the batman status quo#which is why he cant be harnessed well after his initial return bc comics can never truly escape that status quo#anyway i sure am having some thoughts for someone not that smart so if you disagree please tell me!!! just be civil or ill just block you <#...anyway this is another thing BTAS succeeds in bc i always feel like yes these villains do deserve yet another chance#despite what theyve done. bruce's belief in them doesnt feel stupid and naive#its abt what you yourself can live with. bruce can live w the deaths of the ppl the criminals he doesnt get rid of kill#and jason can live with killing those criminals and preventing further victims
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art trade w/ thrak800 on twit - love this fella !
#my art#anthro#furry#illustration#oc#boar#i'm always such a yapper but i can't think of a single thing to say for real#just had some apple slices with melted nutella. that was pretty great#and i got like 7 questions right on university challenge tonight. pretty damn good#oh and i brought a £17 cake reduced down to £6 the other day that was great. sliced that mf up and put it in the freezer#also i went on a walk through the hoarfrost yesterday listening to classical music at dusk and it profoundly changed me not to b pretentiou#this is the perks of life man this is what it's all about.#i'm also going a bit crazy because i NEED to be better at art on god i need to be better or i will sadly pass away#but also it's so hard. but that's the fun part. and also the worst part. this year i will get better i will i will i will#actually one more thing: i've got the most important character ever to show off soon......my magnum opus...#and one more thing: thrak KILLED IT with his side of the trade i'm eating the art he did for my girl ricky with my eyes and my soul#okay there we go i always have something to yap about in the tags. even when i think i don't#also sorry 2 my kofi people who i promised to show art to first but with art trades i simply have to post the art when the other person doe#yes i know literally no-one will care about this but i promised and i have failed....forgive me
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Yeah girl you are so *Dazai isn’t unemotional he’s never been unemotional he latches onto everyone and everything and clings so fucking hard he leaves claw marks on everything he lets go of; he leaves Chuuya and the Mafia for Oda and then gets thoroughly addicted to Kunikida who resembles them both so much, he ‘trains’ and ‘raises’ Akutagawa for survival in the Port Mafia and screws up so badly he obsesses over Atsushi to try and make up for it, Ango was his best friend and Dazai fucks him over just so he can hold onto him yet still leaves claw marks in Ango’s side, he is every age he has ever been and ever will be and what’s awful is that sometimes his love is too similar to his hate* haha lmao wanna fuck nasty?
#he!!! loves people!!!!!!!!#he gets attached he gets hooked he desires and he craves#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#there’s a quote from a book i read eons ago that i always think about when i read people saying how dazai doesnt care#‘it would be better if he hated us but he doesnt even seem to realise he’s breaking our hearts and ruining his spirit’ and hnnnng its very#bsd dazai#soukoku#bsd akutagawa#akutagawa ryunosuke#chuuya nakahara#atushi nakajima#kunikidazai#kunizai#odazai#odazango#dazai x ango#ango x dazai#oda x dazai#sakaguchi ango#oda sakunosuke#dazatsu#dazaku
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i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do
#it's 3AM and i woke up out of a fitful sleep to write this post#i hallucinated jason todd while trying to sleep#(just like them bitches in the comics always fucking do can we point that out. actually. they always fucking hallucinate someone in their#family but mostly jason. when he was dead and stuff#more hallucinations or give me death#i meant that figuratively#the second part#i want more hallucinations or give me someone talking about how that used to happen to them and jason going “wtf r u good ?” or#“ew keep me out of your brain freak”#(second one directed at tim)#what was i saying#ummmm#jason todd#he deserves better#coming from a similar background means i am his number one defender#i have mommy issues too so tack that on there#the way people look at and treat the homeless makes me infuriated because you dont get it#you dont GET IT#until it's YOU mother fucker
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#its been 10 years since my dad passed away#and I'm always thinking about him but these days I think about him so much more#its always like this#and I've been thinking about how people say that as time goes by it gets better and you miss them a little less#I disagree#I think you definitely find ways to cope a bit better#but never miss them less#it's been so long and I still miss him like only a few months have passed#I mean it does get better. I disagree about the missing them part
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I got a comment on one of my fics where the person listed like six of their favorite quotes from the fic and I’m signal boosting that because please please PLEASE let’s make this a trend. I have never felt so seen and validated in my writing and no amount of kudos can compare to this. Commenter if I ever find you I WILL be kissing you on the mouth.
#like I am obviously all for encouraging people to comment with something short and sweet#because sometimes people get shy about commenting and it’s always better to say something than nothing#but to actually know what parts of a story was moving to your audience is so next level
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this is literally a direct quote from Adam and it drives me crazy like I know Justin was behind the ship for years but this drives me crazy. what do you mean they were fujoing it up behind the scenes for God knows how long. hello
#inanimate insanity#trying to find something to prove to people how old payjay is because I don't think people know anymore .#I do have to say I actually appreciate this attitude for making something canon- especially payjay as a gay ship#ive always said i appreciated how they discussed paintbrush's gender onscreen rather than like. confirming it via tweet or something#because I do remember enby paintbrush was a headcanon before ii12! and iirc the crew did get asked about it quite a few times#so I do feel like this was better. <:)#anyways. yippee yippee yippee#ii spoilers#ii 18 spoilers#mossball.txt#payjay#ii payjay
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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I was twelve when my father died And he was holding me I couldn't seem to die
#arya stark#sansa stark#ned stark#thenorthsource#asoiafedit#does anyone use that tag anymore#valyrianscrolls#rani graphics#once again. i apologize but the 'we were sick and she was holding me' always gets me#i get why people drag lmm for his singing but he has never said he's a good singer lol its always been about the emotion#and the way he chokes up on the recording when he says that line......#altho shout out miguel cervantes his hurricane is HEAVENLY. like angels singing in your ears. had the whole audience weeping.#(lbr anything about being sick chokes me up alsdjfsladf i'm crying from that first 'see alex and his mother bedridden half dead#sittin in their sick the scent thick and alex got better but his mother went quick' that's the grief babeeee)
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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon
#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays#if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone#because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page#but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source#because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it#and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but#on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway#someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those#if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link#to my etsy#I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside#like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth#like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back#or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info#about what the art is and who made it and their links#I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful#and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited#but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue#reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing#as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen!#that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB#A JOB!!!!!!!!!!#sergle.txt#I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark
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Let Jews Define Jewish Terms 2kAlwaysWhyIsThisADebate
#when it comes to literally any other group of people everyone says 'only they can define themselves and their words!'#'they know better than any of us could' etc#but LIKE ALWAYS the second it's jewish or in any way related to israel suddenly EVERYONE is an expert /except/ jewish people#white person in the u.s thinks they know what zionism is better than the people who literally#live in the country in question. better than the people who come from the country in question#are you for fucking real#fucking s t o p#this has BEEN ridiculous and it just keeps getting more ridiculous somehow. your antisemitism is front and center. clear as day.#and you look awful in this light#maison speaks#myzposts
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it's really weird to me the way people have been talking about maria lately.... like i know maria wasnt the most developed character in her earlier appearances and she also didnt get to have a normal childhood experience but seeing people say she has no personality and has no joy or whimsy or never got to be a kid at all makes me wonder if im the only person whos actually been paying attention to maria this whole time...???? like do people think she was a sad miserable kid who never got to have fun because of her disability or something ? because that is quite literally the opposite of who she was
and people are being weirdly ableist about it too like talking like her illness is the reason for all those traits she supposedly lacks. implying disabled people cant be happy or have fun or whatever. like come on man
#maria robotnik get behind me ill protect you#and regarding the disability thing i am disabled myself i was a disabled child once i am well aware of the difficulties that come with that#but you can acknowledge the struggles with being disabled and facing ableism and such#without portraying being disabled as constant misery. shoutout to shadow generations + its associated content for getting that right#anyway its especially weird that people Always say this stuff as a way of hyping up movie maria as a better portrayal#like. movie maria is missing so much of what makes game maria interesting ????? what do you mean shes better ....#and again. people are being weirdly ableist about comparing the two#''she finally gets to be a kid/have a personality now that shes not sick''#''movie maria's death is sadder because game maria was just going to die of her illness anyway'' do you not Hear yourselves.#the fact taht they didnt mention her illness at all and people are just Fine with that is bad enough#but did you really HAVE to say with your whole chest that a disabled child's life is worth less than that of a non-disabled one#even if thats not what you meant its what youre implying.#trying not to avoid talking about the movie but my god some of you make me so mad.
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shout out object shows with canon queer ships. I'm talking on screen kiss or even just verbal confirmation. all things considered it's a bit strange you don't really see them that much when you think about how gay everyone here is. I love you ii but c2bc did what you didn't and I think that's actually really nice.
#girl makes claims when there's 1 more ep for ii and many more for c2bc. police arrest her.#inanimate insanity#ii#osc#silver's mental breakdown#c2bc#c2bc spoilers#do we do that here or what#fireball c2bc#pound c2bc#i always misread his tag as pound cake. i am but a fool#also is firepound mildly fanbrush coded ir am i kind of losing it. it's someone and pb. because fireball is very pb coded. inspired? somethi#ng. also c2bc totally takes influences from ii and we all noticed that right. it's not a bad thing. ii is my favorite show. but like. “im nb#.“ ik there was like no other way to say it but that's exactly what pb says in s3. ”he wants to make a boys club!“ ”im nb.“ ”i mean... a no#girls club!!!!“ i think i lile c2bc but im bot 100% sure? i saw someone comment that all the chars are likeable but like. speaker isn't!! st#op bullying my girl corky!! she's literally not that bad! don't get me started on beerkeg. i dont feel bad that he was manipped bcus like. d#ude she said no. leave ger alone#!!#i dont feel bad for him at all snd even cheered when princess hat (?) started using him even though it was not the greatest move and not sup#er healthy. s2's cast is still mych better though. justice for portal though!!!!!!! gone too soon. i kinda shipped. princess hat (?) and tap#e measure in s1 btw i never told anyone that but I did think it. service bell is like a taco i like mych less. and shout out firepound and m#mirror book. pretty crazy how gay objects can just live in my head and i let them do that. anyways sorry for writing a whole nother post in#the tags i just haven't shared my thoughts yet and wanted to lol.#i like it i think#firepound#<- oh hey look gay people
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even tho merlin constantly complains about tournaments and arthur goes on and on about glory and honor, merlin is always the loudest in the stands and arthur always finds merlin’s eye first when he wins
#its in that brief moment when theyre both swept up in the excitment of arthurs victory#that they dont hide anything#they meet each others gaze and see the pride in each others eyes and the pure joy carved into every inch of their face#after of course merlin will sniff and say it wasnt that impressive and that his opponent was much better and shouldve won instead#and arthur will get annoyed like ‘but i won. not him. gimme my compliments’#and merlin is always just like ‘nah’#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#arthur always knows where to look bc merlin is the first one to shoot to his feet and let out a cheer#and in that moment arthur is pulling off his helm he already knows where to look bc merlin is calling out for him#even as a prince when the first person he should be looking at after winning is his father#he cant help but looking to merlin first#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#prompts#idk if it was clear or not but arthurs motivation is to show off to merlin#thats all#LMAO#he dgaf about his daddy or his people#he wants his bf to see how strong he is and how he can kick ass
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