#people always asked if my armpits hurt

[iobsesswaytoomuch]

Leo on crutches doodles cuz I'm definitely totally not projecting

Stairs are terrible. Kill them. They are my mortal and eternal enemies

[luveline]

if it’s at all possible, i’m requesting the fluffiest, giggliest fic with poly!marauders where reader is just sad and teary so they get in a big cuddle pile and tickle her and kiss her until she’s a giggly mess and all cheered up 🥹 thank you lovely jade!! <3

ty for requesting angel! fem, 1.1k

You watch yourself in the mirror. At your vanity, a cotton pad soaked in toner in hand. You wash down your face gently, your eyes hot and heavy and waiting to fill with tears. 

Maybe it’s because it’s Sirius who’s sitting on your bed that you end up crying. It’s hard to explain why it makes a difference, why he’s the one out of everyone who you can’t hide from when you’re sad. It’s not as though James or Remus are any less understanding than he is. James is the most generous person you’ve ever met, he’d let you cry into his arms for days on end without complaint, and Remus understands better than most what it is to be in pain, but Sirius won’t make you talk about it. When you’re feeling better, you’ll realise that it’s the complete lack of pressure to confront your feelings that brings them to the surface. Sirius won’t ask you to explain yourself. 

The tears fall down in discordant waves. One from the left, two from the right. Your nose grows hot, an uncomfortable wetness gathering at the back of your throat. 

You put your cotton pad aside, sniffling. 

“You okay, my angel?” Sirius asks, turning another page of his novel. 

You take a shaky breath. “Yeah,” you say, voice thick with tears. 

“You don’t sound okay.” You watch in the mirror as he puts his book down. He stands up quickly, and you’re presented with how good looking he is. Even through tears, he looks pretty. “What’s wrong?” 

You bend in on yourself, pressing your fingers to your eyes. “It’s nothing.” 

His hand falls against your shoulder, warm, the other not far behind. He leans on your back. “Come on, sweet girl,” he whispers, “don’t cry by yourself. Come to bed with me.” 

He doesn’t push you. You knew he wouldn’t. 

You let him usher you into the bed, where he sits with crossed legs and you fall into his chest. Your shoulders ache with your crying, shaking as the tears turn to sobs. You think about everything too much. And, despite the best intentions, Sirius’ gentle patting and hugging makes you cry harder. 

It’s a quiet house. The sound of your breakdown attracts another boy. He climbs into bed in front of you both. You know it’s Remus because James’ would’ve exclaimed in fear at the door, his hand tentative on your thigh. “Is everything alright?” he asks softly. 

“She’s okay, just a rough day,” Sirius says. 

It isn’t a lie. You wrap your arms around his waist like a clamp and lay there, face slipping down against his stomach, all bent and hurting as tears soak his dark t-shirt. 

“Really rough, it must’ve been,” Remus says. He rubs your thigh. “It’ll be okay. We’re here.” 

That makes you cry worse, too, but eventually the sentiment is driven home. No matter how bad the day is, or what happens to you, you’ll always have people to come home to who love you, and who want to rub your back for you when you can’t calm down. 

Remus pats your leg in a rhythm. Sirius stays very still. They both, somehow, know what you need. 

A little later, you lay with your face pressed to Sirius’ chest just shy of his armpit, Remus’ patting turned to light tickling, his voice a low constant. “You’re just so beautiful it intimidates people, that’s your problem, dovey, you’re scary because you’re that pretty. You think I’m blowing smoke, but I’m serious, and Sirius agrees with me, and James would get down on his knees right here and now and testify to that same thing.” His hand slides between the soft upper insides of your thighs to squeeze one reverently. “Everyone is jealous of you.” 

“Stop it,” you mumble. 

“She’s smiling,” Sirius says, drawing a loop behind your ear. 

“Stop.” 

“Everyone is jealous of me,” Remus furthers, “at Books and Coco, whenever you come with me, the boy behind the counter always gives me that stupid chauvinistic look like I’ve done some great service to men-kind in landing you.” Remus leans down to kiss your leg. “And it’s silly that he gives me that look, but his sentiment isn’t wrong. I can’t say I landed you, but I am lucky.” 

“Stop,” you say again, laughing as his breath further tickles your leg. 

The door to the bedroom clatters open. You jump, having not heard the front door, but Sirius rubs your arm and you quickly calm. After all, it’s James coming in. He’s far from scary. 

“Hello,” he says, a little breathless, “you guys wouldn’t believe the photo I just took at the pond. The sun was setting and there were all these colours coming through the trees and over the water.” He gives you a funny look. “Have you been crying?” 

“Just a bit,” Sirius says gently, hugging you a half inch closer, “she’s alright now.” 

James frowns. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” 

“It’s okay,” Sirius answers for you. To some, his speaking for you might irk them, but right now it’s exactly what you need. It’s less embarrassing to have him talk for you. “Remus has praised her half to death, and he keeps tickling us both.” 

“Oh, you’re tickling him too?” you ask. 

Remus squints at you. “Well, just a little bit.” 

You put upon a forlorn sigh. “I’m not as special as I thought.” 

“Sweetheart, you are the most special,” James says, climbing into the bed, making you the centre of their flower, “you’re gorgeous. Let’s have a kiss.” 

“That’s what I said,” Remus says, laughing as you lean away from James’ kiss, even as big hands find your cheeks to hold your face. 

“Come on, lovely girl, just give me a kiss so I know you’re alright,” James says. 

You evade to tease him. You can’t help laughing as you turn your head one way and then the other, quick to dodge him, his lips pressing half kisses against whatever bit of skin he can as you move. 

“This is harassment!” you laugh. 

“Just one kiss…” He holds your face steady, and he looks at you long and hard. When you move your chin up to kiss him, he moves away. “You’re okay?” he asks softly. 

“I’m fine,” you laugh, kissing him quickly. 

James collapses atop you, all his weight and smells. “Thank god for that.” 

“Well, thank Sirius,” Remus says, “he did all the back-rubbing.” 

Sirius groans and tries to get out from under you. “You’re all very heavy.” 

“James? Can I see your photo?” you ask. 

He squeezes you half to death in answer. 

[theblue6ook]

A Sick Day

It’s not a cold. It’s not. It’s just… allergies or something. Y/N definitely does not need to stay home. Bruce disagrees.

B (24) & Y/N (22)

A/N: recently got a puppy and he has taken all of my free time <3 Also, this fic is unedited and proud.

“Get your coats and turn on your radiators, Gotham. An ice front is coming in and it’s coming in hot. Or should I say cold? No, this isn’t the work of Mr.Freeze, he’s still in Arkham and we hope he stays there. This is the work of a winter storm. While the snow will be beautiful, it will also be dangerous.”

Y/N scoffed at her computer. The newscasters always made such a big deal about winter storms. Nothing can be worse than what they had to deal with when Mr.Freeze escaped a year ago. She was stuck in her apartment for three days with no groceries, splitting a box of stale Triscuits with Carrie three meals a day. If anything, cold weather is more an inconvenience than a danger. Plus, it’s been teetering on 45 degrees out the past week. How much colder would it get?

-

So… It got fucking cold.

Gotham had hit record-low temperatures. So low it hadn’t been a natural occurrence since the 60s. Lucky for Carrie, she had chemo this week and the hospital had gotten spooked by the recent weather reports so they asked her to stay overnight. While the hospital bill wouldn’t be nice, it’s way better than what Y/N is dealing with. 

Her radiator is shitting out on her. The whole building's radiator system actually. Normally when the weather is this bad she would opt to work at home, like everyone else, except she can’t take the cold. Her body in particular can’t take the cold. It could be from the shitty surroundings in her apartment building or from sniffly Nathan who works in Wayne Enterprise’s marketing department, but she thinks she’s coming down with something. What’s worse is that the cold weather is making it worse.

Her whole chest felt like it was burning, which is a real contrast to how cold she was walking to work. She couldn’t get her car past the snow and she needs warmth and warmth is at Wayne Enterprises. So, she trudges into the empty building, up the elevator, and sits at her desk with a groan.

Breathing heavily, she shrugged her coat off her shoulders and pressed her freezing fingertips underneath her armpits. She looked at her reflection in her desktop monitor. Her cheeks were bright red and she had dark circles under her eyes. At least no one else was here to see her. No one else was here to see her…

Would it hurt to take a nap? No one would know. No one would see. 

Y/N stood and stepped out into the hallway. Not. A. Single. Soul. Oh, she is so napping.

-

Bruce had chained up his tires this morning and headed to Wayne Enterprise. It was too bright for The Tumbler and he needed to gather a few equipment items from Lucious Fox’s bunker. It’s not like anyone was here anyway. There was not a single car in the garage, not even Y/N’s, which is really saying something. 

He perused the bunker, grabbing a few small but powerful heaters, fleece-lined leather for his suit, and a couple of other items, stuffing them into his duffle bag. He was used to the cold, training in it, even living in it on one occasion, and the people of Gotham needed him so he’d be there. 

Pulling the duffle bag over his shoulder with ease, he headed out of the bunker and towards the elevator. He left a particular file that wasn’t meant for Wayne Enterprise in his office, while no one was here, you can never be too careful. Except… There was someone here. 

He could only assume the head poking out from her coat was Y/N and she was sleeping? In the office? Stepping closer to her, he noticed, even under all her layers, she was trembling. Pulling her coat collar from her face, he finally got a good look at her. She was flushed and had broken out into a sweat, even her ears were bright red. He held onto her shoulder and shook her lightly.

“Y/N,” Bruce spoke softly. She ground turning away from him. He slapped a hand to her forehead trying to gauge her temperature. She definitely had a fever, it couldn’t be lower than a 100. Slowly her eyes opened at the disruption, then became wide at who was standing over her. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I’m not the one sleeping in the office.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled embarrassed, “I don’t know how that happened-”

“Y/N you’re burning up. What are you even doing here?”

“Why does someone come to work, Bruce?”

“You’re not working. You’re sleeping.”

“I had the intent to work-”

“Y/N.”

“I just felt like coming in,” she snapped. In truth, she was embarrassed. Here was her billionaire boss. If he didn’t feel like sleeping in his mansion, he could stay the night at his penthouse. She was sure he had other properties as well, meanwhile her radiator couldn’t even stay on when it gets chilly outside.

Bruce held her stare with a firm gaze and narrowed his eyes.

“You’re going home.” It wasn’t a question and he definitely didn’t ask as he lifted her under her armpits from the couch and stood her up on the floor. He took her coat roughly from the couch and threw it over her shoulders. Bruce turned to pack the rest of her things up. Y/N was so tired, but she was also so frustrated. She had just gotten here. It had taken her so long to walk here. “Let’s go. Where’d you park?”

She remained silent and looked away from him. 

“Y/N. Where did you park?”

“I’m not going home. I just got here.”

“You’re sick you’re going home,” before she could speak he added, “and don’t say your car is in the garage because I know it’s not in there.”

“...I parked on the street.”

He tilted his head examining her, “No you didn’t. The snow us up to the stairs. Where’s your car?”

His question came out as more of a statement, demanding of an answer. She wouldn’t look at him and he grew both frustrated and disappointed. “For the love of god, please tell me you did not walk here.”

“My car couldn’t get past the snow!” she loudly admitted, “Is that what you wanted to hear-”

“Y/N. When your car can’t get past the snow, it means you stay home!” 

He held his hand to his brow, trying to sooth the tension in his head. Throwing his duffle bag and her work bag easily over his shoulder, he didn’t give her much of a chance to say anything as he grabbed her by the hand to pull her toward the elevator. Even in his frustrated state, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, his grip on her was still gentle.

Stubborn as ever, she would let him pull her to the car. She would let him buckle her in. She would let him drive her to her broken, cold home, but she wouldn’t say a damn thing about the radiator. None. Of. His. Business.

[She’s even more stubborn when she’s sick.]

And she did just that. She let Bruce Wayne take her hand, blaming the warmth in her face on her high fever. She let him tug her to his expensive McLaren 650s Spider with a new shiny set of winter tires. She enjoyed seeing it too and part of her enjoyed annoying him. And she let him plop her into his expensive shiny car, buckle her in, and drive her home. What she didn’t expect was him wanting to walk her inside…

“I can get inside just fine, thank you.” Y/N attempted to push him back towards his car. Her hand held to his chest and pushed firmly. He didn’t even budge. Not even a sway.

“You’re not walking up three flights of stairs alone in your condition.”

“My condition?” she paused. “How do you know I live on the third floor?”

“You put your address on your resume,” he lied smoothly.

“I didn’t know you read my resume-”

“Stop stalling.”

She tried to keep him out, she really did, but he was so persistent. They made it to the front door, thank you Mr.Wayne I can take it from here. Nope, he needed to help her up the stairs, so they made it up the stairs. Thank you, Mr.Wayne I think I can make it inside by myself. Nope, he had already made it up the stairs; he might as well finish the journey. They made it to her front door. Thank you, Mr.Wayne you can go now. Nope, there’s no reason he can’t sit her things down for her.

In her heart, she knew there was no way he didn’t notice the cool, crisp air in the hallway. The way not a single apartment radiated heat and she knew he had to be suspicious. Her hand shook in shame as she unlocked her apartment and opened the door up, head down. 

Letting himself in, she heard a deep sigh, radiating from his chest, “Y/N, you can’t stay here-”

“Stop-”

“It’s freezing in here-”

“You don’t think I know that?” Once again, he grabbed her hand pulling her into the hallway, shaking her head. He took the keys straight out of her hand, locking the apartment door. “What are you doing? We just got here?”

“You’re staying with me this weekend.” 

“Are you insane?”

“I have a house with over fifteen bedrooms. I think you can find somewhere to sleep.”

“This is so unprofessional.”

“I don’t care.” With her apartment keys he walked back toward the stairs at an alarming pace. She had no choice but to follow.

“Bruce, I swear to God I am not staying at the manor.”

-

“Welcome to Wayne Manor Miss.Y/N.”

@pank0w @moejoeflow @padsfirewhisky @maxinehufflepuffprincess @pastelsweaters-and-bubble-t @mariadvorak @100520s @st0rmyt @stxrsberkshire

[annaloveshjp]

drunk in love

harry potter x fem!reader

word count: 1k

——————————————————————

a/n: another little fluff scenario :)

warnings: slight drinking.

summary: y/n has a little too much butterbeer(?)

——————————————————————

Loud music filled your ears as you entered the crowded Gryffindor common room. Almost everybody had a drink in their hand, or was dancing with someone.

Gryffindor had just won another Quidditch match, which was always the perfect excuse for a party. Harry had invited you even though you weren’t in the same house, but being the boy who lived’s girlfriend has its perks.

“Whataya doin here!?” Ginny Weasley stumbles your way with a half empty cup in her hand.

“Harry invited me!” You shout over all the noise.

“Oh, right!” She remembered, “come on in!”

You smile at the intoxicated teen before making your way further into the common room in search of your boyfriend.

After asking a few people where Harry Potter was and receiving a few “I don’t know” and “want a drink?!” In return, you find your good friend Hermione chatting with Ron by the fireplace.

“Hey, Mione!” You exclaim, relieved to find someone who might know where Harry is.

“Y/N!” Hermione and Ron say in unison.

“Have you seen Harry?” You ask them, ducking suddenly as a Weasley invention flew over your head.

“No, I haven’t,” said Hermione thoughtfully. “Have you, Ron?”

“No, sorry mate,” he said, giving you an apologetic look.

“Okay, thanks,” you muster up a smile as best you can before walking over to an unoccupied armchair and sitting down.

You wonder where Harry could be. maybe in his dorm? It’s fine, he’ll probably be here soon.

But even after waiting ten minutes, still no sign of your boyfriend.

“Want a drink?” Hermione came up to you holding two cups, a sympathetic look on her face.

“Sure,” you take one cup gratefully, the first sip burns your throat slightly. “Firewhisky?”

“Mixed with butterbeer,” Hermione confirms, taking a swig of her drink.

“Tastes nice,” you say before drinking almost all of it in one go.

“Woah woah, slow down,” Hermione chuckled.

You laugh, feeling lighter than before. This drink is magical.

After a few more drinks (more like a dozen), and some dancing later, you now sat on the floor leaning against the wall.

“My head hurts,” you whine like a little kid to no one in particular. “I want my boyfriend.”

You suddenly see someone walking towards you. They crouch down to your level and start talking to you.

“Hey, what happened?” The stranger asked you, their face appeared blurry but you could make out a look of concern on their face.

“I had butterbeer,” you reply, your words slurring slightly.

“How much?” They ask.

“Why do you care?” You question.

“Too much, I take it.” They sigh before lifting you up by the armpits and walking you towards the boys dormitories.

“Noooo I don’t wanna,” you complain, attempting to plant your feet but failing.

“Honey, you need some water, I’m taking you up to my dorm.”

“Hey! Only Harry can call me that, don’t be weird.” You say accusingly.

“Guess what,” the stranger says. “I am Harry.”

You gasp. “Harry? Awww I missed you!” You lean into him.

“I missed you too, Honey. Now, can you walk?” Harry asks you.

“Hmmmm I think so,” you walk, stumbling a bit. He holds your waist as you both walk up the stairs to Harry’s dorm.

Harry shut the door behind him and led you to his bed. He laid you down before taking your shoes off, he then went to the bathroom and returned with a glass of water.

“Here,” he said softly, lifting your head up and tilting the glass for you to drink.

“Thanks,” you mumble before rolling over and planting your face into his pillow.

“You smell nice,” you say, sniffing his pillow.

“You say that a lot,” he chuckled.

“I do?” You ask. “Hm,”

“Mhm,” he hummed in confirmation. “So tell me, what happened earlier?”

“Well, I came into the common room and I couldn’t find you, so I got sad and decided to have some butterbeer, but it wasn’t just butterbeer, it had some firewhiskey, Hermione told me. Then I danced, then I got a headache so I sat down, then you found me, then I thought you were a stranger, then I realized you were Harry, then Harry took me to his dorm and gave me water, then he asked me what happened.”

“Oh, wow,” he says.

“Yeah. Where were you, by the way?” You ask him. “It felt like I was waiting hours.”

“It was only twenty minutes,” he said. “But I was taking a shower,” he pointed to his hair that was dripping onto his now damp t-shirt.

“Oh, right, you get all sweaty after Quidditch,” you say. “But I think it’s hot,”

He chuckled. “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” you say, snuggling into his blanket.

After a minute, you feel the bed dip beside you. You look over and see Harry laying next to you.

“What are you doing?” You ask him.

“What does it look like? I’m lying with you.” He states.

“But I thought you’d want to go celebrate, you know?” You say confused.

“Nah, I’d rather be with you, and since you’re wasted, I figured it’s best if we don’t go back down there.” He reached out and pulled you closer to him, your head leaning against his bare chest.

“Oh,” you mumble. “I’m sorry for drinking too much…”

“It’s alright, Honey,” he muttered into your hair, stroking it with one hand and holding you with the other. “I like this better anyway,”

You smile and sink into his warmth, both your slow breathing and the muffled noise from the common room being the only sound audible.

“D’you need anything else?” Harry asks you, brushing your hair from your face.

“No, just need you,” you say, turning around and snuggling your face into his neck. “This is good.”

You gave him a few kisses on the side of his neck and on his collarbone. Although you couldn’t see, Harry smiled.

“I love you,” you tell him.

“I love you, Honey.” he said, kissing the top of your head.

—————

[city-tickles]

Hi!

Here a couple of new tickle stories from parties I have gone to in NYC. This one has trans ff/m tickling, m/ff tickling and ff/m tickling!

A few weeks ago, I went to another kink party, wearing this shirt in an attempt to get more attention.

It worked because a nice trans couple came up to me and asked if I wanted to session. I agreed and we went over to the rack that looks like this:

I always wanted to try that rack and it did not disappoint. The couple spent about 20 minutes scribbling and tickling all over, mostly my upper body. It was a nice contrast since one of them had sharper nails and the other had softer nails. So my body did not know what to do sometimes. The TicklingDuck device came out again as well, but this time it was used a lot on my neck. I have never been tickled on my neck to that degree so it was a lot of laughing and squirming but there was no place for me to go, so they just went for it. They were also great teasers, talking about how much I love this because I was laughing so much 😂

After that, I ran into them a couple more times and even watched their own couple tickling session but we never got a chance to play more that evening.

Story 2:

I went to a bi-weekly foot party that I last went to in the summer. During that time I met one of the models who absolutely loved tickling.

I got there late and it was very hot and crowded. To break some ice, I session with one girl who isn't super ticklish on her feet at all but is on her stomach so I did a lot of tummy and side tickles to her. After her, I ended up talking to another girl, a tall, blonde woman, about tickling and then my girl from last time came out. I told her that I was gonna session with the blonde and then we can play after. The summer girl asks if I want to do both at the same time and a light bulb just went off!

I decide to session with both at the same time. unfortunately it's real crowded tonight but we managed to find room. It’s a little awkward since we are on couches and behind protection, but right next to you is someone else playing. You just have to block it out and focus on your fun.

One awkward part that happened is that these parties have curtain setups to "protect you" and there was a pause because one of the curtains dropped, so I was def spotted just in stocks, being tickled. I also felt a little bad because we're next to other people playing and I'm sure the guy who is doing foot worship was not here to see my (well taken care of) feet haha but you just roll with it

Initially we take turns tickling each other tickle fight style. Summer tickles me then Blonde or I get her and Blonde gets us both. I was in the middle so they would gang up on me a bit tickling all over my sides.

I asked if I could use my stocks, which they were on board with. So BOTH of their feet are locked in the sticks while they lay back and I do my best to tickle both of them at the same time or switch off. It's the closest I ever felt to being in a video 😂.

I would tickle both of their feet if one person's legs and the other person's foot or stretch myself out as much as I could to get their upper bodies, or get one then go after the other. They would even tickle each other in the stocks. I also got to use the vibration device from tickling duck It was great! I did that for maybe 20 minutes then asked if I could lee

So they have me lay back, put my feet in the stocks, have me put on a blindfold I bought with me, then start to go to down. They're all over my feet with fingers or feathers or the device, or a mix of both. One moment it was a feather, while someone was using their fingers. While I'm laughing the whole time. Then they would switch off with one person on my feet and the other person on my sides and tummy. Later, they had me hold my arms up while one held my arms down and the other attacked my armpits or sides. The only drawback was sometime the nails were sharp and they hurt but it was more good than bad. That happened for about another 20 minutes until I actually gave up (partially cause I knew this would cost so much money)

The cherry on top was the teasing and also lack of teasing. One moment I can hear them having just a regular conversation while tickling me, which was almost worse because they can talk about tv and torture me at the same time 😂 Other times they would tease me saying he’s giggling so much and laughing so hard. They also would say things like “Aww. We could tell he needed this today” even though they were teasing, they were right. I was having a rough couple of days so I did need that laugh.

But overall, it was awesome and worth the money. I was like actually tired afterwards. It’s rare that I have get worn out from tickling but they made it happen lol

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed these stories!

[medusapelagia]

One. Big. Step.

written for @steddiemicrofic (Prompt: one | 1111 words) and @steddie-week (Day 2, Prompt: Touch Starved) Rating: Teen and Up Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: none Words: 1111

The anticipation is what makes Eddie antsy. 

When someone starts to walk toward him, his heart starts beating faster and louder, his ears buzz, his breathing gets too accelerated (air hunger, as his mom used to call it), and he begins to sweat, profusely, leaving a dark damp stain under the armpit of his t-shirts, which is the main reason he always wears black t-shirts. Or t-shirts with black sleeves. 

When the person walking toward him is Steve the Hair Harrington, well, it's even worse. 

Eddie's tongue gets entangled in his mouth and when he's finally able to speak a few words, the ones that come from his mouth are either stupid or cruel. But even if Eddie hates himself for that, in some ways it works perfectly well because Steve freezes, a sad smile painted on his face, and mutters, "I'll see you around, Munson," before turning and leaving Eddie alone, which is exactly what he wants. Because Eddie the banished has only one big fear: being touched. 

It's a fear that comes from afar and even if Eddie is ashamed of it, it’s not something Eddie will overcome easily. 

In his entire life touch meant hurt. Every time Al Munson came home drunk, every time a policeman caught him stealing some food, every time a teacher dragged him to the principal office, their touch meant hurt. And pain. And blood.

Those people left a wound in Eddie’s soul; a wound he’s not sure it will ever heal.

It doesn't help that the only person he trusts is not very outgoing either.

Wayne never hurt him, but never tried to touch him either.

And now he’s untouchable.  

None in the Hellfire Club dares to hug him, not even Gareth, who has been his best friend since they were kids. To be honest, Gareth is his shield, the best one he could have ever asked for. He's the one who detects Eddie's anxiety and puts himself between the threat and his best friend and in Eddie’s opinion, that’s fucking metal. 

It doesn't matter if most of the time the threat is just a girl asking for a pen during English class or a boy getting too close to Eddie in the cafeteria. Gareth is there, ready to lend a pen or step between Eddie and the rest of the world.

Gareth is the person who knows Eddie intimately. He knows about his past, that he deals to make ends meet, and that there's a kind spirit hidden under the metal jewelry and the fake attitude. What Gareth doesn't know, it's that even if Eddie is scared of touch, he has finally met someone who makes him feel butterflies in his stomach and almost makes him wish for things he never thought were possible for him, like holding hands or even kissing. And that person is Steve Harrington.

Eddie knows that there's something between the two of them, a kind of opposite attraction they both feel, but how can he surrender to the pull he feels when even the idea of getting close to Steve makes him shit his pants?

"Maybe you should start gradually." Gareth wisely proposes when Eddie finally confesses his tribulation to him, "Choose someone you trust and ask him to touch you or something like that."

"Wouldn't that be weird? Like… Hi, can you hold my hand for a moment? Don't worry if I freak out, it's a normal reaction."

"You could start with Wayne." Gareth replies, gulping down his soda in the hot Indiana summer, "He knows you're weird."

"Why didn't I think of that? Hi Wayne, can you hug me? Yeah, I'm weird and I'm also gay and I need some physical contact before I try to hold hands with my crush. Very subtle and not suspicious at all. He won't kick me out of the trailer. No sir."

Gareth sighs, slouching on Eddie's broken couch, "You know he wouldn't. He had so many reasons to kick you out and he never did, but if you don't want to ask him, I get it. What if I volunteer?" Gareth asks, reaching out with one arm.

He gives Eddie the time to stop him or move away, but the metalhead swallows all his fears and gives him a little nod.

The contact between Gareth's calluses hand and Eddie's elbow it's not pleasurable, but it doesn't make him jump out of his skin either.

"You ok?"

Eddie nods, quietly, focusing on the feeling and identifying every single sensation. The warmth of Gareth's skin, the roughness of his hand, the steadiness of his arm. Eddie closes his eyes, takes a few deep breaths, and then he whispers, "Stop."

Gareth immediately releases his soft grip, his eyes pinned on Eddie, "Still ok?"

"Yeah. I got a bit overwhelmed." Eddie confesses, turning his attention towards a dog barking a few feet away. Noticing Eddie's attention the dog starts to pull at the chain even harder barking in his direction and Eddie wonders why a barking dog is less scary than a friendly touch.

"We could do a little exposure therapy if you want. Here at the trailer, where you're more comfortable and none can see us.”

With a snort, complaining in a low voice that exposure therapy seems even more complicated than dealing in a small town like Hawkins, Eddie begrudgingly agrees to do a few cuddling sessions, as Gareth mockingly calls them, every day after band practice.

Maybe it's not a lot, but sitting close to each other on the same bench, or brushing their fingers while sharing a joint seems to be really helping, and after a couple of months, when Dustin invites them to see a movie at Steve's place, for the first time Eddie seats on the couch, not on the bean bag as usual. Dustin stares at him open-mouthed, but a stern look from Gareth is all it takes to get his attention back on the screen.

When Steve gets back with a couple of bowls of popcorn, the only empty seat is the couch where Eddie is already making himself comfortable, putting his feet on the coffee table while yelling something against the movie director.

Turning toward Steve, Eddie simply asks "Aren't you going to sit?"

Steve gives the biggest bowl to Dustin and puts the small one in the middle of the couch, to keep some space between them, and when their fingers brush above the popcorn bowl and Eddie doesn't retreat, Steve gives him the best smile ever.

Maybe sitting on the same couch watching a movie with the kids isn't the most romantic thing ever, but it's a step. One. Big. Step.

permanent taglist: @katyawriteswhump

[siriusleee]

For @glitterypirateduck Call of Duty Christmas Special. Author's Note: For the holiday season, I wanted to write some things for some of my mutuals I've met the past year I've had my blog. This is for @gazs-blue-hat, who is one of the most supportive people I've ever met. Christmas Song: Last Christmas Premise: You need a date for your family's Christmas dinner. Johnny is willing to be it.

This is stupid. The dumbest idea you’d had in ages, but the thought of going home this Christmas to see your sister snuggled up on the couch with her long-term boyfriend while your mother regulated you to helping in the kitchen was enough to make you do something stupid. 

It had started with a Facebook post someone else made as a joke. “$100 bucks and I’ll go to your family Christmas and pretend to be your boyfriend. $150 and I’ll kiss you in front of everyone and compliment your mom.” You’d sent a screenshot to Johnny, something quick, hoping he’d send a joke to make you feel better about the upcoming shit show.

Christmas exploded around town - lights dripping from each tree, fake Santa’s climbing up trellises. And with it, your mood turned blacker each day. It seemed like every minute someone was messaging you for something new: don’t forget to dress up for the family Christmas photo, bring rolls, are you bringing anyone?, are you bringing anyone?, are you bringing anyone?.

The lowest moment was a phone call from your sister’s boyfriend. You answered the call at your desk, phone sandwiched between your shoulder and ear.

“What’s up?”

“Hey, I was wondering what your ring size is.”

Your fingers slow on your keyboard; through the speaker, you can hear the hustle and bustle of some shop. 

“I wear a size 8. Why?”

Silence. And then -

“I’m going to ask your sister to marry me at Christmas this year, and I know you guys are the same size. Don’t tell anyone?”

You had always liked your sister’s boyfriend, but at that moment you could have strangled him. Annoyed, you’d shoved yourself back from your desk, muttering something about taking a break. You slammed your phone down so hard, you were relatively sure that there was going to be a crack in the screen, but you were too bummed out to worry about it. 

Johnny found you at your post outside, an unlit cigarette held loosely in your fingers. 

“I thought you quit smoking, bird.”

His breath clouds around him, and he sits close enough to you that his knee rubs against yours. 

“I did. That’s why I’m just holding it.”

He winces at the tone in your voice, hand coming up to rest itself above his heart in mock hurt.

“Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning?”

“Bug off Johnny.”

He knocks his knee into yours, hands tucked beneath his armpits to keep warm.

“Christmas dinner?”

Your shoes tap a maniacal pattern onto the concrete as you try to figure out how to say it all, without sounding so horrible.

“My sister’s boyfriend is going to ask her to marry her on Christmas.”

Johnny ‘hmms’, chewing on his chapped lips.

“You can always pay me like you said the other day.”

“Shut up Johnny.”

Three days later, after all the non-essentials had been sent home for Christmas dinner your phone buzzed; you glanced down at the screen from your perch on the couch, half expecting it to be another annoying family member. 

Your fingers tapped against the screen, trying to figure out a way to tell Johnny to knock it off, the joke’s not funny anymore. Instead, you find yourself tapping out the time and your address.

Smoothing the wrinkles from your skirt, you start to think that maybe Johnny was just screwing with you - that this is all some elaborate joke and you’ll have to do this all by yourself. Maybe Johnny’ll laugh about it when the two of you return to work in a few days, maybe-

A tentative knock on your front door breaks you from your near spiral. Before you can talk yourself out of the entire thing, you fling the door open. Johnny stands grinning at you, hands tucked into the pockets of his dark jeans. His mohawk is freshly touched up, and whatever cologne he put on rolls off of him in hypnotic waves. 

“You look nice,” you say, words falling flat and lame between the two of you. But Johnny doesn’t seem to mind as he holds his arm out to you. 

“You look nice too, birdie. You ready?”

Johnny opens the car door for you. You take the moment it takes for him to walk around to his door to peer at the inside of the car - fresh vacuum lines cover the floorboard, and a new Wintergreen scented tree hangs from the review mirror.

“So,” Johnny says, climbing into the driver's seat, “tell me everything I need to know.”

You describe everyone on the drive there: your Aunt Mary, your Uncle Gary, your cousin with the glass eye who gets upset if you stare too long; your sister and her boyfriend. You point out each turn for Johnny, and with each turn of the wheel, your mood grows brighter. 

Until Johnny pulls into your parent’s driveway, right behind your sister’s car. 

“Alright, Bonnie?”

“Yeah, let’s just do this.”

You don’t get to open your door before Johnny hops out, pulling your door open and holding out his hand for you. 

The front door opens to an explosion of people and Christmas music. Johnny is immediately taken in by your aunts, and he suffers through the pinched cheeks, and he doesn’t mind when your grandma kisses him on the cheek. By the time he makes it back around to you, there’s lipstick smudged on his cheek.

“They love you, Johnny,” you say, reaching up to wipe the red smudge away. “I’ll have to pay you extra I think.”

“You think they’ll let me take an extra plate home as a tip?”

“Of course they will.”

The two of you hide out in the corner, watching the little kids run around with their new toys; one of the boys shoves a Nerf gun into Johnny’s hand, and you see a flash of fear cross all the kid's face when Johnny racks it with extreme precision, but Johnny still lets all of them tackle him.

Your sister and her boyfriend stand on the opposite side of the room, refusing to take their hands off of each other. You do your best to ignore them, but there’s a clock inside you, ticking down the minutes until you know he’s going to drop down on one knee. 

After Johnny fights off all the kids and returns to you, red from laughter, you don’t stop him when he grabs you around the hips, pulling you into the dining room with him. You hear the titter of your mom and aunt as they fawn over Johnny behind the two of you. 

You almost pull away from him, until he stops you in the hallway, pointing upwards to where your mom tacked mistletoe on the ceiling. You feel the blush creep up your neck, and try to send him a message that this is way out of the agreement for the night. When he kisses you chastely on the lips, you don’t say anything, but you can feel the huge grin on your face. 

He rests his hand on your knee throughout dinner and listens intently when your grandfather talks about his days in the War. 

It’s more than you could have asked for. And after dinner, when all the adults start handing presents over to each other, you know it’s about to happen. You see your sister’s boyfriend fidget with something in his pocket, and your stomach twists. You try to focus on the music pouring in a little too loud from the speakers, the Wham! version of Last Christmas, but you can’t take your eyes off the two of them.

Johnny’s hand taps against your elbow, pulling your attention away from what’s going to be the end game of the night. He’s holding out a little box towards you, wrapped haphazardly. 

“Oh Johnny, you shouldn’t. I didn’t get you anything.”

His grin is crooked as he shoves it into your hands. 

“I didn’t ask you to get me anything, birdie. Anyway, it’s part of the pretending, isn’t it? Besides you can get me on my birthday.”

You unwrap the box, fingers sliding beneath the too much tape, to rip the paper away until it falls to the floor and all you’re left with is a black velvet box.

“Johnny this is not funny, you jerk.”

His grin is infectious as you open it up, a little silver pendant sits nestled in the velvet, an ‘S’ charm attached the the chain. 

“Can I?” Johnny asks, and you nod, holding the box out so that he can take the necklace out. 

He puts it around your neck, calloused fingers soft against your skin as he does the clasp. 

The room explodes in cheers around you; out of the corner of your eye you can see your now future-brother-in-law on his knee in front of your sister, but you stare at Johnny instead. 

The last lines of Last Christmas fade from the speakers, Johnny’s hand interlaces with your own and he tugs you closer. 

“I think I want to do this next year.”

[lost-girl-2021]

Adopted Spider Headcanons (Metkayina Edition)

I've been reading fics where Spider's adopted by Ronal and Tonowari the past couple days and now I'm obsessed. The problem is that I mostly write angst and I really wanna read hurt/comfort, lol.

I feel like the typical/common way that I see Spider get taken in is basically him doing his little beach bum shit after everything and slowly getting adopted into their family. And I eat it up. Every. Single. Time.

Spider: *Building a campfire, roasting his own food* Ronal/Tonowari/Tsireya or Anoung: *Why is the Sully's adoptive son alone on the beach?* *Oh well, mine now*

I feel like Ronal would definitely be way at first, she's made it no secret that she strongly dislikes Sky People. But, I'd imagine that eventually, she comes to see him not just as a human, but as a child. And a child who is alone and in need of help.

Aounung would probably be the same. I have this idea of him giving Spider a hard time (after all the carnage/damage/dead people have been handled). Like, trying to mess with him as much as possible, just being an asshole. And then, maybe Spider goes under for a long time while Aounung is on the beach weaving or something. And, even though Spider has a mask and can breath underwater as well as he does above it, Aounung somehow forgot that and freaks, thinking the human has drowned.

Aounung tossed his half-repaired net aside, diving into the water. He whipped around, eyes catching on the mess of dirty blond. Pushing further, he grabbed the boy by the armpits, shooting to the surface and pulling the human onto land. He flipped him over, meeting confused eyes as he placed a hand on his chest. He was breathing fine, not even panting from being under for so—

Spider's mask glinted in the sun. Aounung was an idiot.

"Are you . . . okay?" The smaller boy asked hesitantly, making no move to sit up.

"You were under for a long time." He mumbled, pulling away.

Spider's face split into a grin. "Did you— did you think I was— "

"Quiet." He hissed, standing up. "We will never speak of this again."

Spider's laughter followed him as he stormed away.

I feel like with Tsireya, she would've immediately been all over him. Like, this is Spider, Lo'ak's supposed best friend. The human boy who acted just like he was Na'vi. It probably started mostly as curiosity, but I think that after seeing how the Sully's interacted with Spider, she'd be confused about his place, his family. If Spider didn't sleep in the Sully's marui, didn't eat with them— then where did he do those things?

Tsireya glided along the water, Lo'ak a few feet from her. "Why doesn't Spider stay in your marui?"

Lo'ak raised a brow. "Uh . . . I don't know. He lives with the humans, I guess. Always has."

"But . . . the humans left after helping Kiri. They have not returned."

"They . . . they haven't?" He cleared his throat. "I'm sure Dad has it handled. There's probably a new shack or something for him."

Consider Spider's mask running low and there isn't a spare anywhere. As a kid, he never was gone from the shack long enough for his battery to run low and during his time with the recoms, there were always spares in someone's pack when he needed it. Idk how long the masks last, but for my own sake, I'm going to say Spider got a new one the day of the battle and it lasted him about a week. Or maybe, he managed to pillage one as the ship went down so he's on his second and it's like two weeks or so.

I think that when he saw the little red light flashing, a small beep-beep sounding, that he'd probably be like a kid who forgot there was a test. He'd just panic. But, I imagine he'd also be scared to bother the Sully's by telling them, so he'd spend the next hour searching the village (discreetly) to see if there were any pilfered batteries or masks left behind when the humans visited. Let's say he has two hours from when the mask starts flashing to change it out. And where, oh where, does he wind up when he's got a half-hour left?

Spider was not panicking. Because, when a human panicked, they breathed faster and wasted more air. Norm told him that, so it had to be true. But, he'd checked everywhere he could think of and . . . nothing. There was no shack, no Norm or Max to run to before his timer ran out. No humans. Only him. And in a matter of . . . fuck, twenty minutes, he was going to die just like a human.

He sat slumped on the beach, looking out into the water and trying his best not to openly sob. He didn't want to die crying like a little baby. It was not working out well for him. At least, he'd have a good view when he died.

"Child? What is wrong?"

Spider flinched, looking up with wide eyes at the clan leader. He'd only talked to Tonowari once, when Jake had introduced him. Of course, given his spectacular luck, the man would find him when he was on death's doorstep.

With a sniffle, he held up his beeping pack. "It's almost out. Twenty minutes."

The man frowned down, grasping the device carefully. "And that is why you're so upset? Because, you don't wish to go into the village for a new one? Did something happen? Someone make you feel unwelcome?"

"There is no new mask." There was also no home to go back to. "That was my only one."

With a cut-off gasp, he pulled Spider to his feet. He marched the boy through the village and into what he recognized as the healer's marui. The Tsahik was mixing something, but she stood as soon as they entered.

"Tonowari?" She asked, stepping closer. "What happened? Is he hurt?"

"His mask, where's the spare?"

Wordlessly, the woman pulled a mask from one of the many baskets, easily connecting the tubing and turning it on. Like, she'd done it before. Spider had no time to ask why she had such a thing before she was right in front of him.

"Take a deep breath." She ordered, unlatching the straps of his mask before pulling it off. Just as quickly, the new one was secured. Spider hadn't even moved.

I think that even before deciding to adopt Spider, Tonowari and Ronal would probably make sure he had spare masks and check what food he could/couldn't eat. Like, as soon as they realize the Sully's aren't caring for him, they'd probably subconsciously take responsibility for him. Because, he was just a kid, really. And kids were clumsy and careless and needed help, needed parents. Anoung and Tsireya, despite being independent and skilled, still needed their parents sometimes. Let their mother do their hair and insisted on their father de-gutting their catches. And Spider— Spider is fragile. He's skilled and smart and quick on his feet, but he's a human surrounded by Na'vi. Not to mention, one wrong move and he's left with a cracked mask. And what if he eats the wrong food, mistakes one fruit for another and ends up poisoned?

This ended up way longer that I thought it would be, lol. But, I really love these types of fics and if anyone has any recs or wants to hear more, my comment section is open. XD

[skunkes]

ok detailed surgery experience

i made this schedule (?) of the major events as soon as I left while I cld still remember (and still kinda forgot!) i like knowing the Times of stuff so I asked my dad to take note of Times for me, and tried to ask for the time where i could

surgery I got was a laproscopic bilateral salpingectomy, full removal of the fallopian tubes only!

Misc details off of dis, obviously TMI territory as its a medical procedure.

The second blood draw (they took blood from me yesterday tooooo) hurt less and more somehow. Nasty nasty bruise forming.

IV really was the worst part of it ! I'd get weird throbs of frustrating pain long after it was in

I was given compression stockings that went right up to my crotch. Your toes stick out, and they put hospital socks over your feet. Some additional compress wraps were placed above my knees.

Pre op/prep didnt take too long at all. I know I have it listed as over an hour of waiting, which always made me nervous to read in other people's experiences, but it doesn't really feel like waiting. The TV helps pass the time, as do the people who are with you if any, and the nurses popping in with help or instructions or updates. The prep room was small and the bathroom was next door. The double doors open to wheel you out. Remote was given toe to control the TV and also call the nurses via a speaker.

The nurse who wheeled me in was nicest, she pronounced my name Correctly and was also really funny and friendly...

In general I knew this surgery was going to go well because I was actually able to fall asleep last night. I've stayed awake/tossed and turned for events far less stressful. Dis was also due to part of it kind of not feeling real for me! And being wheeled into surgery room added to that! It didnt feel real, it felt like watching one of many scenes from medical media of the same point of view.

I did start quaking and shaking once in the surgery room (also small, I did not look around much in fear of it making me panic last minute!)

They had me scoot from the prep bed to the surgery table. There was a pink foam headrest for me to slot the back of my head into. They strap you in with arms out like ur being crucified and thats when it became more Real for me so i started shaking a lot, but I can't tell how bad it was under the heavy blankets. I think I shook more and for longer when I went for my MRI (which also isnt/wasnt scary but the body freaks out for no reason). Im surprised at myself for being so Calm ykwim

Anyway, strapped in, had monitoring stuff stickered onto my body: my sternum, side of body under chest/armpits, and another pair I cant remember where. Hair was put up in hair net. My hospital gown was untied as the tie starts halfway across your body and goes under, but this was not done in an invasive-to-privacy way, and I was still fully covered by it (and then recovered by blankets)

(3 separate people asked me how many kids I had throughout this whole venture, and were Shocked at my response. This was the other most nerve wracking part as I started to get weirdly anxious that someone wouldn't like this and cancel my surgery or something. One of the Askers was the anesthesiologist.) Doctor/surgeon came in and asked if i was ready and talked about how he loved being under anesthesia LOL. Everybody was speaking about their opinions about childbirth and sterilization and parenthood, but amongst each other and not to influence my decision, along with telling each other to set up XYZ. Once again everybody is charmed by Cheye's usage of the word "yay"

Ive never had surgery before, so I was worried about anesthesia. In my mind i was imagining it to be being fully lucid and then your vision darkens and takes you, which was scary to me like i dont wanna be freaking out and then immediately KNOCKED out!

But it was gradual which actually made it more calming for me...the funny nurse put the oxygen mask over me, I got very nervous bc she said to take deep breaths and honestly i couldnt even breath much at all in it, and breathing out also felt very restricting and like I was going to choke, but it wasn't Distressing. I just breathed slowly and it worked anyway.

In a few seconds I felt a cool tingle in my arm that then sort of burst into my torso, and my whole body felt really light and my eyelids draggggggged half closed, but it felt very mechanical and involuntarily (like slowly closing window blinds...or like how the brightness options on a 3DS are numbered buttons ykwim? Like, Closing 1, Closing 2, Closing 3, Closed Halfway, all pressed in quick succession). Heavy heavy heavy. I stayed in that half closed state for a while! (Probably not even a full minute, but it also wasn't instant...i still had time to think and Hear conversation etc, as well as feel that there was some mechanical thing tightening around my spread arms along with the hand adjusted straps)

The funny nurse was telling me to relax and have sweet dreams and that they wld take care of me and such. And then I was out. I do not remember my vision fully fading or eyes fully closing, in my mind they stayed in that half closed state.

Ive heard ppl say it feels like blinking and waking up, but it did feel like sleep to me!!!! I know dreaming under anesthesia isn't really a thing, but waking up felt like....i was really waking up like normal and trying to remember traces of a dream after several hours of sleep.

I always thought it was silly seeing ppl ask if the surgery was over when they come out of it, but I did that. But like i swear it came out involuntarily??? Like i knew it was over....i think it was because I couldnt really SEE anything when i woke up, I could only hear staff speaking to me, and I can barely remember what they said. Vision was VERY very blurred. So I guess that question came out as substitute for Where Am I, and Who's Here With Me? Speaking felt like when audio unsyncs from a video, with my voice trailing far behind my words. I also remember being really bewildered bc there was some sort of residue on my lips, like when they're chapped and dry and cracking. I learned later this was bc of the intubation but i Didnt Know That Yet so i was just scared and thirsty.

Adding another "pain was less bad than the average period which has one Doubled Over" statement to the pile. Pain was at 3/10 or 4/10, which is to say if period pain is a whole abdomen event, this pain was small little bruises occasionally being brushed up against, just small throbs of sore pain in the 3 incision spots. I got an incision inside my belly button and that was the most present sensation, but that might also be bc I hate anything having to do with that area in general 😭 always feels weird.

My throat felt very DRY. It wasn't pain yet, it felt like when you're thirsty + dehydrated and your lips stick together at any slight moisture, but in the throat. Kept trying to look around and wiggle my fingers and toes in hopes that'd help me Come Out Of It sooner bc not being able to see was really frustrating me. I could not make out the face of the person watching over me for some time. I really wanted water !

HORROR when the person looking over me said i had a catheter still in me. Nightmare I wasnt counting on actually happening and wasnt mentally prepared for. I was told I would have one placed (make sure to ask if this is a concern for you!) but i thought they'd take it out before I woke up... I cldnt even feel it in me when I was told this! Which is good.

The staff of course had to remove blankets and open my gown a bit to access the area. But I did not feel any distress about this at the time.

Had a very funny slow motion distress response bracing self for removal. It did not hurt or sting at all, it just felt like [something I cant describe here]. Just pressure! It was pulled out gently but quickly of course.

After 1 hr i was wheeled to a separate private recovery room. The nurse uncovered my lower area to check if incisions were doing good so far as well as to check if I had been provided with a pad/underwear, as some patients have blood or other fluids come out as a result of the surgery.

parents came in, was so grateful for juice but in dismay over my food item being orange (i dont like citrus flavor) jello (i dont like jello 😭) i consumed all of both.

I also worried I'd feel weird about throwing my body parts away. But I dont feel anything ^_^ just feels very awesome and natural

Sore throat started further developing. Nurse came in after some time here, taught me how to Get Up. Was scary! I was worried about it hurting, but it was just more soreness.

Was able to go to the bathroom, went a very little bit but it was enough. I was very scared about seeing my incisions and being disgusted by them....but I caught a glance and it was Okey Yey. They are covered in surgical Glue and dont look gnarly, swollen, red or anything they look very cool ^_^ got dressed in stages as there was nothing to set clothes down on and sat back down on the bed. The bathroom connected to another room where somebody else was preparing for surgery.

Nurse came in with final post op instructions, upon describing nausea to me my skin got cold, stomach activated and krusty krab exploded with it. She was just barely able to get me a bag to throw up in. This exacerbated the throat pain. She encouraged me to get it all out especially since I also expelled gas, which is a good thing.

IV removal didnt hurt! Same level of pain as the tape around it being yanked off. I couldn't even tell it was over. I was wheeled out of the hospital. ^_^ i wore an oversized dress my sister lent me, and cheap target sandals so I wouldnt have to bend to tie shoes. My dad pulled up the car right outside. I brought a pillow to be a barrier in between the seat belt and my stomach.

Its 6:48 neow and I am laying down, but the pain is (currently) the same. I had another nausea (and release. Also exacerbated throat pain.) spell (while in walmart picking up the pain meds), was boiling alive in my very hot room, and was a bit dehydrated which may have contributed to some misery and nausea but as of right now I'm ok, i changed into lighter clothes, drank water, ate a bit, and situated self in a room with ac....i worry about getting up and becoming nauseous again 😭 i hate throwing up.

People are right about it being more discomfort than pain! You have to walk around every few hours, and it doesnt hurt but every step feels like my bellybutton is kinda pinching inward. Being tugged at from the inside. Ive gotten to a point where even chuckling makes me feel this very Sour soreness (not regular dull soreness) so maybe ill start the meds soon if necessary.... Squatting to sit doesnt hurt in a debilitating way, neither does actually sitting or putting on/stepping into clothing.

I couldnt nap because laying on my side doesnt hurt the incisions or anything, BUT its just the strange discomfort again. The weight of gravity on the body makes the incision sites feel very very weird in an abstract way i cant describe. It isnt pain. It feels like a mismatched sensation of some sort. Like if you touched your nose and somehow felt the touch on your knee. Adjacent to this. A very specific sensation sits in all the incision sites and drags down through your mattress to the ground and it feels Weird.

If you get up properly it really doesn't hurt to do so! Use your leg to get yourself fully onto your side, then use your arm to push yourself up into a sitting position.

I am very nervous from when all the good strong hospital meds wear off t_t i heard the day after is a struggle because of dis. but ive got the prescribed pain management on hand (extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol with codeine!! O_O) neow at least ^_^;

OH, AND THE DOCTOR TOOK FOTOS OF MY INSIDES LIKE I ASKED! ^_^ 🫶 I have glossy printed souvenir now! I dont exactly know wtf im looking at but its awesum LOL maybe i will ask for details at the follow up!

[astrqiixsq]

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫

pairings: sully family x sister!reader

warnings: none I think!

word count: 2.2k

a/n: the reader will be replacing Tuk but as a 10 year old! this is for all my babies that just want to be loved and protected <33.

(this takes place before the plot of avatar twow!!)

even though you were only a few years younger than the rest of your siblings, you were babied for your entire childhood.

you couldn't do pretty much anything without one of your family members following on behind you or asking what you were doing every 30 seconds.

while you thought it was extremely annoying, your parents and siblings thought it was perfectly normal.

your family were extremely protective over you, and to be honest, it was kinda cute.

but it was on days like these, you just had enough of it.

It was way past eclipse before your family got home from the fight against the sky people. kiri was sent to tend against the injured while the rest of your family were fighting, your older brothers being spotters as normal on their ikrans.

while they were gone you were told stay close to your grandma mo'at, so you did what you did almost everyday, stay inside and make bracelets for the family. It was the only thing you had been doing pretty much everyday for years.

you were just finishing up your third bracelet when you heard shouts coming from outside your tent.

"the war party is back!" you heard someone call.

hurriedly, you chucked the bracelet into the box and ran outside to the cliffs, dodging your clan members while you were at it.

"slow down y/n, you could get hurt!" a nearby scientist called out to you.

"sorry!" you replied on instinct, not really listening to what they were saying.

you saw your mother and father first, hopping off their ikrans and taking their weapons off of themselves. although they looked perfectly fine, there was a glint in their eyes you couldn't quite understand.

next you saw your brothers and your sister kiri, landing their ikrans next to your parents. a few minor cuts and scrapes were placed on your brothers torsos however that was hardly out of the norm, due to their daring personalities. but they still stared the same look at your parents, what was going on?

choosing to ignore this for now, you ran up to your family, shouting excitedly, "mom, dad!"

your mother turned around in just enough time to see you fling your arms around her waist and nuzzle into the side of her waist.

"y/n, y/n, y/n." she muttered your name, picking you up by your armpits and resting you on her hip.

it was normal for you to go to your mother first after your family coming back from fights. your mom was always the most tense and it was only right for you to ease her worries before she would scold one of your siblings for doing something wrong. it was like you were the water on her fire.

as she ran her fingers through your hair and turned to look into your eyes, you could still see that tense glint in her eyes. huh, that's weird.

before you had time to think much of it, you were quickly lifted up off of your mother and put into the hands of neteyam. neteyam was your oldest brother and probably the most protective, although it was hard to tell sometimes with lo'ak's fiery personality. however, it was certain that neteyam was the softest with you, he was always the sibling you would go to if you hand any problems. and he was always the one holding your hand or cuddling you when you felt upset or frightened. you loved it.

"how is my little sis doing?" he asked, embracing you in his arms and kissing your forehead gently. yup, definitely the softest with you.

"im okay." you giggled, wiping at the yellow war paint on his face. you loved the colour yellow since it matched your eyes.

"well you must be tired because it is way past you bedtime baby, you ought to be asleep!" your father told you, moving away from his ikran to take you out of neteyam's arms and probably off to bed.

bed? you thought. it was only 8:30! something was definitely up.

"no!" you whined. wriggling out of neteyam's grip and running away to hide behind the closest ikran.

however, you only got about two or three steps before you were swept back off your feet and into lo'ak's arms, his grip tight on you.

"oh no you don't" he chuckled, looking at kiri who also laughed at your attempt to get away from bed.

"please! you only just came home, i want to see you!" you spoke as you struggled against lo'ak's tight grip on you. but feeling you move in his arms only made lo'ak's hold on you tighter.

"sorry my love but you're too young to be up this late! plus, me and your father need to discuss something with your siblings." your mother said, sharing a stern glance at your family beside you. well now you knew that 100% something was up.

lo'ak carried you back into the sleeping room of your tent, gently setting you down on your small sleeping matt in the corner at whispering a soft goodnight in your ear before leaving the room.

though your big sister kiri came in a couple minutes later to tuck you in, handing you your little na'vi toy and bending down to quickly kiss your temple and say goodnight.

"love you, y/n". she whispered, before standing up to leave the room. yet, you couldn't help but notice her shoulder's tense before going into the main living room of the tent.

what were your family going to talk about? whatever it was, you were going to find out.

curiosity had always been a big feature in your personality, you were always known as the girl in the village who asked too many questions, but you never thought that as a bad thing. as your father used to say, 'curiosity always killed the cat', but not really knowing what a 'cat' was, you chose to ignore his comment.

anyway, it was now 8:56 in the evening and you had been staring up at your ceiling for about ten minutes, now you decided it was finally time to find out what your family was hiding from you. wether it was a good or bad thing, you still deserved to know. nevertheless you had to make sure your parents thought you were asleep before eavesdropping into their conversation at night, so you decided to wait ten minutes.

after finally feeling that you had waited long enough, you cautiously stood up off your sleeping mat and made your way over to the small hole in your weaved wall, making sure you made no noise as you stood on your tiptoes to peer in.

sure enough, your family were speaking about something.

"listen, today we saw that more space ships are returning on pandora, this means we have to be extra careful when going on trips. got it?" your father spoke to your siblings who were standing in a circle around the fire, each of them giving glances to the other.

what does he mean more space ships? you wonder looking at your fathers unreadable expression.

"got it?" your father spoke clearer, realising he hadn’t gotten an answer from his children.

"yes sir". they all spoke in unison, sharing the same look you couldn’t quite understand.

you were used to your siblings calling your father sir by now, but it had always seemed very odd to you. why did your siblings have to call their father sir when you were not allowed to call him sir at all? it suddenly hit you in that moment just how much you didn’t know about your family and how confusing your life really is.

however, your mother cut your thought stepping in front of jake when she spoke, "your father and i have been doing some speaking and we think it would be better if you were not allowed to go beyond the hallelujah mountains, it is for your own safety from these new threats."

your brothers and sister let out a chorus of protests and complaints, stepping aside from the fireplace and over to your parents.

how could they do this? you thought, you had never seen a sky person that wasn't a scientist before and what did your parents mean about spaceships? this isn't fair!

suddenly, the room went quiet in front of you and all your family turned to look in your direction.

"y/n?" your mother looked straight into your eye.

oh eywa, i must have said that last part aloud, you thought. you were totally busted.

immediately, you backed away from the crack and tried to sprint back to your bed, only to hear your father call, "y/n, we saw you. now please come in here to speak to us."

you sighed as you stepped up off the floor and walked towards the living room. what were you going to say to your parents?

as you stepped into the large room inside of your tent, you were met with looks of disappointment from your parents and stern looks from your siblings, so you just decided to stay in the corner of the room near the door.

"y/n what were you doing listening into our conversation tonight, you know you were supposed to be asleep." your father spoke in his leader voice, this made you flinch against the doorway.

"ma jake." your mother scolded your father. she hated it when your father got too stern with you, she always said you were too young to be spoken too in such a way.

looking guilty as you turned away from the door and to your parents, you spoke. "i just wanted to know what was going on tonight. i saw your worried looks when you came back from the fight today and thought something was up, so i listened into your conversation to make sure nothing bad happened." you fiddled with the beads on your skirt as you spoke.

your parents shared a worried glance before your mother turned to you and uttered, "my love, you should be in bed right now. you are simply too young to need to know what is happening and too young to even understand it, please go back to bed."

but you didn't move to go back to bed, you were too overcome by anger and frustration. it was always that you were too young for anything. when were you ever going to grow up?

taking a couple steps forwards before speaking, you reasoned, "i am tired of being treated like a baby mom and dad! i just want to know what is happening in my life and you guys won't let me because i am 'too young'! i am ten, not four!"

"y/n-" your sister kiri tried to cut you off, but you just continued.

"no kiri! you don't understand. you, neteyam and lo'ak got your first ikrans at the age of nine! i am ten but i am still told everyday that i am 'too young' to do anything on my own, anything! all i want to do is act like other kids my age without having someone peering over my shoulder the whole time! all i want to do is be a normal ten year old!" your voice broke at the end of your speech and you didn't realise you were crying until neteyam was in front of you, using the pads of his thumbs to gently wipe away the tears on your cheeks and using an arm to pull your head onto his stomach.

"y/n", your father kneeled down infront of you before continuing his sentence, "we see your frustrations and know your pain, but please keep in mind you are still ten. ten year olds should not be involved with wars and fighting, they should be at home enjoying their childhood years safe. plus, me and the rest of your family feel as if you are not ready yet to go out on adventures on your own, and that is final." jake stepped up off the ground and pecked a kiss at your forehead, but this only made your anger rise.

not ready to go on adventures on my own? you thought, feeling your little four-fingered hands turn into fists. they are not listening! i'll show them what i am really capable of.

you pushed out of neteyam's grasp, speaking to everyone in the room when you said, "you guys aren't listening! i'll show you that i am not too young, just you wait." after speaking, you ran out of the room and towards the main door, ignoring your families shouts and cries for you to stop.

lo'ak, who you had actually had forgotten was there because he was so quiet, make an attempt to grab your arm. however, you just dodged his hand and sped up your pace before reaching the edge of the cliff infront of you, right next to the ikrans. perfect, you thought.

without thinking about the consequences, you threw yourself onto the closest ikran and connected the bond without a thought.

oh eywa, you were really in trouble now.

this is the first fanfic i have ever written so apologies if it is bad! idk if i will be making a pt 2 to this because it is just a oneshot but we’ll see!

if there are any mistakes in the text please let me know in the comments and i will really appreciate it!

anyway, i hope you enjoy the rest of your day and have fun!

[heartshapeboxesblog]

⭐𝚆𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚡 𝙶𝙽!𝙷𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗!𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍!𝙽𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚋𝚘𝚛 (Platonic)⭐

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚌. 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍! There will be mentions of baby talk and teasing.

𝚈𝚎𝚜 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌. (𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝)

Wally and Frank belong to partycoffin along with the entirely of welcome home.

𝙽𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚋𝚘𝚛(𝚢𝚘𝚞)𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚆𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎

𝙽𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝

It was a perfectly normal day. It was sunny and warm and all of the neighborhood was busy doing their own things. It was quite but not that quite. And you decided that today you would spend time with your favorite puppet, WALLY! He was always so fun to hang out with! And today was so perfect! It would be the obvious choice to spend time with him. . .Oh how wrong you were.

Right. Back to the present.

You were in Wally's home just chatting. Talking about random things that came to mind. Everything was going smoothly. . . until-

"And as I was saying he- oh! Neighbor! You've got something on your shirt!" "Huh? Oh it's okay! Really it doesn't-" "No No Neighbor. I insist that I wipe it off." Before you could protest any further his hand wiped a bit of dust. . . off your side . . . That caused you to flinch and jump a little and also let out a small squeak sound.

"Neighbor, what was that? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice. It truly made you feel kind of bad. If only it wasn't so darn embarrassing to say! "Yes!- yes! I'm okay! It's just that it- uh- it tickled a little. " he tilted his head a little in confusion. " 'Tic . . . kled'? What's that? Is it a human thing?" "Well it-" "Oh, I think Frank told me about it! They said it makes people laugh, right? Well, puppets aren't really 'ticklish', BUT, I did hear humans were~" you definitely did not like that tone in his voice. You quickly got up to leave, but Wally had other ideas and held (not too tight) on your arm. "Oh Neighbor~ you surely wouldn't mind if I tickled you right?" "Wally wait!-" "Come on Neighbor! I just want to learn something about you~" and with that Wally (gently) pushed you back on the couch, facing him, tickling your sides.

"WAIT! WAIT! WALLY WAIT- AHAHAHAH!" "Oh my! Neighbor, I never knew this would be so exhilarating! And you're laughing so much so this must be fun for you!" You couldn't tell if he was teasing you or not. It was so hard to tell because of how calm his voice sounded. "MAHAYBE IT'S FUHAHN FOHOR YOUOUH! IT'S NAHAT FAHAHIR!" "And how is that exactly? Your face says it all Neighbor ~ ha ha , I can tell you're having a blast." "IM NOHOHOT!" after a minute Wally was getting quite bored and decided he would start to tickle-sorry- "study" your armpits.

"Hm. I wonder. Can humans be ticklish in other places? Well, it wouldn't hurt to try! would it Neighbor?~" "NOHOHO!" "No? Well then if you're okay with it." "THAT ISN'T WHAT I - MEAHAHANT! NO NO NO! STOHOP!" You jumped at the oh so sudden change of spots. "Wow! Haha, are all humans this jumpy when they get tickled?" You really couldn't keep your arms up even if you tried. Making a short stop to Wally's "vicious" attack. "Oh dear. Neighbor, it appears you have trapped my hands. Guess that means you'll have to raise your arms to free them~" you breathe for a few seconds to replenish your lungs then give him an answer. "Nohoh! If I raise my arms you'll just tickle me again!" "Now Neighbor! I would never do that! I'm honestly quite offended you would think such a thing!" HE WAS LYING RIGHT THOUGH HIS WORDS! After he said that you gave him an answer that the second you said it you instantly wanted to take it back. "You lair! If I raise my arms you'll just keep tickling me!" He let out a very dramatic gasp and put a hand over where his heart would be as if to show he was very "offended" by what you just said. "What!? Why!- Me the ever so honest and truthful Wally Darling a liar!? How very rude you Neighbor! And to say we're such good friends to!? I just wanted to learn about you! But clearly you deserve so type of punishment for that. Looks like I'm going to have to teach my littlest Neighbor some manners." There was a pool of dread inside your stomach. Just what was he gonna do with you!? You were pretty scared judging from the tone in his voice on that second to last sentence. You train of thoughts was ruined as he grabbed one of you legs and face your stomach on lap. You shut your eyes closed excepting something to happen to you. . . but it never came . You opened one of your eyes slightly, that when Wally chose to dig all 8 of his fingers into your stomach making you squeal loudly in shock. "Tickle tickle little Neighbor. I wonder what the whole Neighborhood would think if they found out about such a adorable little weakness you have?" Your eyes widened when he said that. Would he really tell everyone about this? No no of course not he would never do that! . . . Right? "NOHOHO DON'T!" "Now now Neighbor. It's impossible to make out what you are saying over allll of your giggling. It was such a discovery to find out such light and simple touches could make you humans laugh so darn much." "NOHOHO PLEASE STOHOP! I LEARNED MY LESSON I SWEAHAR!" Your pleads fell on deaf ears unfortunately. "You want to know what the best part about this is Neighbor? You can never get me back! How lucky is it that I happen to not be ticklish anywhere? That means I could tickle you again and again and again and again and again and you could never be able to do the same because puppets aren't ticklish like humans. Isn't that fun, Neighbor ~?" "NOHOHO WALLY I TAKE IT BACK I SWEAHAR!" He softly sighed and said "Ha ha. okay okay , I suppose you've learned your lesson Neighbor. But just so we are clear . . . " he leaned down close to your ear and whispered "I won't hesitate to do that again. I find it absolutely adorable that you can have such reactions over that and I won't hesitate to tell the whole~ neighborhood about this cute little quirk you have [Reader]~ Are we on the same page?" You quickly replied," NO! No! I get your point really!" "Well, if you say so. Run along now little Neighbor it's getting late, and you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow. After all, I'm sure everyone will be curious about such a adorable little "gift" you humans have~."

Oh dear. I don't think he'll ever let you live this down.

[undercoverpan]

Dementia wip

A boy woke up with the name "Spider" on his lips.

The name was heavy in his mouth, like he was chewing a cotton ball. It tasted of the wilderness and freedom and rejection. It ached his jaw, and prickled his tongue.

It felt familiar and loved. He is going to forget it.

______

Time has passed, and the room the boy is in is shaking. It rocks back and forth, almost throwing him across the space if it weren't for the blue hand pressing him to someone's side. His face is tucked into the others' thigh, and he inhales the smell of gunpowder and coffee.

They'd left a while ago. Something about Jake Sully and radio signals. He's sure the other told him his name, but he couldn't remember. Sometimes he remembers that he forgets, but most days are spent in blissful ignorance. Today was not one of those days.

He looked around anxiously. There are people around him, some wielding weapons. There were blue lights, displaying symbols he didn't recognize. They were talking, but he didn't understand what they were saying. Strange things about Tulkun and tribes. He glanced upwards at the one holding him, who gave him a brief smile, then continued speaking to someone. The boy whined, tugging on his clothing. The creature sighed, bent down, and pressed a kiss to his head. He motioned for someone else to come.

Another one of the blue figures approached him. "Hey, kid." He said, gently placing his hands under his armpits and picking him up. The kid placed small, bandaged hands on his forearms, looking at him confusedly. "C'mon Miles, let's go outside." He said, swinging the boy around like a child. The child giggled at the sensation. He feels like flying was important to him, before he started to forget. Had he forgotten what it was like to fly, or had he never flown before?

These thoughts made him still. He stayed silent as they left the small room they'd been in, and was greeted by the cold air. They were on some kind of platform that was moving forwards through the water. He could only see blue all round them, stretching beyond his vision. The air whipped against his skin, blowing his hospital gown. It was very cold, he noted. His hair blew in the breeze.

"Pretty, isn't it?" The other asked. He was leaning against the railing, looking out over the water. The boy had looked at him, frowning. Who was this?

"I'm Lyle, by the way." The other said, turning his face towards the other. "Colonel said you've been forgetting more these days," he explained, "Thought some fresh air might do you some good. I know the whole native thing last month is still scary to you, but you'll be staying on the boat while we deal with 'em this time." Lyle's explanation was simple, but weird. What….what native…?

A spear to his neck. Blood splattered across his face. Fear, fear, f e a r.

He nodded. Didn't quite remember, because of course he doesn't, but he remembers forgetting, and that's gotta count for something, right?

"These guys are different though. They're called the Metkayina, or so I've heard. We picked up some radio signals from around here awhile back. They only found real traces of Sully a week back, so we're only just now heading out to kill him." He grinned at the boy, but changed his expression when he saw the child's face. He looked uncomfortable at the mention of killing Sully, even though Lyle knew he probably didn't remember who he was.

".....yeah." He huffed, "Tell you what, kid, because you're my favourite, I'll bring you back something from the raid." He offered, "what about one of those necklaces the Na'vi are always wearing? You want one of those? Or a–, whaddaya call em, a songchord?"

Songchord.

It was something important, wasn't it? Something dear and precious, a wondrous little thing. He remembers a sad little melody. Hurt, loneliness, want want want.

He shook his head. It hurt. "No? Then what about some clothes? You think you could rock a shawl?" He joked, and the boy laughed. He nodded happily, excited at the idea of a promised gift. The other patted his head, fingers brushing through dirty blonde hair. They stayed like that for a bit, just standing together in silence.

"Yknow, I'm glad you're doing better these days." Lyle said suddenly, absentmindedly trailing his thumb at the edge of Miles' mask. "Last time I spoke to you, it was like talking to a wall." He joked, but Miles frowned. He didn't remember talking to Lyle, ever.

But….

Maybe he did? He forgot a lot. He could barely remember yesterday. It was like the food they gave him. There's only enough taste to remind you that there's barely any taste, and that you've definitely had better. But 'better' is subjective, and even if it were true, you don't really know what would be better than the current taste. So you sit and think about a better taste, but nothing comes to mind, so you stop thinking and eat your food.

Miles looks out at the waves. "I'm glad too." He said softly. His voice was raspy, and he grimaced. He didn't always sound like that, did he? Was his voice damaged?

Lyle looked like he didn't care about his raspiness. In fact, he looked happy to hear his voice. His grin stretched across his face, revealing pointy fangs and pearly whites. "Yeah," he said, "yeah, we're all glad."

____

He had a shawl now. It almost dwarves his frame, hanging around him like a blanket. It felt warm and loved around him, like whoever made it had somehow woven endearment into the threads. With boney fingers, he clutched the edges and pulled them closer to his face. It smelled strange, like the ocean and roots and herbs and everything he forgot. It smelled like healing.

It had these--um--tassels? All around it. It was also a vibrant blue colour, like the waters that surrounded the ship. With a raspy and almost strained giggle, he twirled around in his newest article of clothing. "I'm taking you like it, then?" The blue one asked, and Miles nodded. He did like it, he liked it very much.

"I'm glad, buddy." There was a large hand in his hair, like it belonged there. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't.

Suddenly, as if overcome with a violent possession, Spider threw the hand away from him. "Don't touch me!" He screamed, "Who are you? Get away!" And he thrashed at the other as he tried to put his hands on Spider. The boy was confused. Where was he? Where are his clothes? What happened to his hair?

Where are the others? Where are they?

He didn't recognize the shawl that was on him, beautiful yet unfamiliar. The weaving, the texture–, he never felt anything like it. It didn't come from the Omaticaya; and certainly not the scientists. So who–? Where–?

"Kid, calm down!" Someone spoke sharply, but he ignored them. Where did this come from? He doesn't remember!

Looking around desperately, his environment was entirely unfamiliar. Cold metal surrounds him, traps him like a prisoner.

GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY

The words are like a mantra in his head, wild and ferocious. Something he could only describe as primal. He was not safe, he was trapped; caged like an animal. He needs to run–, needs to get out–, find the others–, escape!

No matter where he ran, he couldn't escape the humans. They were everywhere, absolutely everywhere.

No escape–, he's alone–, helplesshelpless–

----------

Meow meow, I am gonna try to post the wips I don't think I'll finish?? If any interest you, just ask me about it and I'll tell you what I can but I ye

Also hello my old mutuals I am back in the twow fanfic game and boy have I created ocs.

[stuckinthesun]

Would you mind doing a reader x Eren request where Eren is in his bad boy/moody era and reader is a total virgin but Eren somehow ends up fucking her?

I’m not to sure how.. maybe they are sparring and it kinda just happens?

Ahhh sparring turn fucking is such a good trope

Eren Jeager x Fem!Reader

Warnings: nsfw, p in v, semi public sex, mean Eren, virgin!reader, dubcon (not really tho), barebacking, cumming inside

wc: 1.6k

All characters are 18+

You could tell Eren wasn’t in a good mood today. Of course that wasn’t exactly different from any other day lately, but it was worse today. He was snapping at everyone, including Captain Levi, and when anyone tried to talk to him he’d storm away, claiming he was fine.

Eren’s change in personality started after you guys took back Shiganshina, after finding out the truth to everything. He had always been angry but now that the threat wasn’t just titans, but people, it was like his anger changed too hate.

Today you decided to try something, you were tired of seeing your long time friend suffer, and if there was one thing you knew that would help Eren calm down, it was a distraction.

“Hey,” You said, walking up to where he sat perched in the sand, “Wanna spar?”

Eren looked up at you with a frown, squinting through the breeze, “What?”

“Want to spar? You seem like you could use the stress relief, if you’re willing to die yelling at the Captain like that.” You joked and warmth fills your chest as you see him crack a smile. The first smile you’ve seen from him in weeks, months even.

“I don’t know if that such a good idea.” Eren said, raising his voice as a wave crashed along the shore.

“Oh?” You quirked and eyebrow and crossed your arms, “And why’s that?”

“I might hurt you.”

“Eren Jeager,” You huff as you begin to roll your sleeves up, “We literally trained together as cadets. As long as you don’t shift it’ll be fine.”

“No really,” He said, voice growing agitated, “I haven’t exactly been remembering to pull my punches.”

“Then don’t.”

“Stop, seriously I’m fine!” Eren snapped, that small smile you were so happy to see long gone, replaced with a sneer.

He was standing in your face now, fists balled at his side, but you didn’t even flinch. You weren’t scared of Eren, you weren’t scared of him back in Trost when you first saw him shift, and you certainly weren’t afraid of him now.

“You need to get whatever the hell this is out of your system,” You said shoving him back, “And since you refuse to talk about it like a mature adult, this is the next best thing.”

“Don’t act like you know what I’m going through!” Eren yelled, suddenly tackling you into the sand, startling you.

The two of you rolled around like that for a moment, you trying to fight him off while he tried to pin you down. Eventually Eren won, holding your wrists down on either side of your head.

You stared at each other, panting for air and clothes messy. Somehow your shirt had ridden up, showing off your stomach. Eren noticed, his eyes trailing from yours to your exposed skin making you blush.

“Eren-“

“You want to help me blow off steam, right?” He said suddenly, eyes meeting yours again.

A sinking feeling settles in your stomach and your eyes widen when Eren transfers both of your wrists into one hand. His now free hand travels down the expanse of your body, fingers tucking under your shirt to lift it more.

“Eren wait-“

“Why?” He asks, tone bored, “You wanted to help.”

“I’ve never done this before!” You said, feeling embarrassed even though you shouldn’t. Between rigorous training and life threatening missions there was no time to even think about sex, let alone actually do it.

“First time for everything.” Eren shrugged before hiking your shirt up under your armpits, your bra on display.

“Eren please just-“ You were cut off again, but this time with a pair of lips.

There was nothing soft or romantic about the way Eren was kissing you. It was all bruising force and sharp teeth, the exact opposite of what you imagined your first kiss would be like.

It was a kiss to shut you up, and yet your body still reacted to it. Your eyes closed automatically and your mouth opened with a gasp when his hand pushed your bra out of the way, his thumb brushing over your nipple. You felt him smirk into the kiss.

“Guess you really do want to help.” Eren mumbled when he pulled away, quickly undoing the button on your pants.

“Eren.” You whined, and even you didn’t know if it was for him to stop or move faster.

You wouldn’t lie, Eren was attractive and only getting more so as he got older. You had developed a small crush on him some time ago, but with the state of your lives, Mikasa’s obvious love for him, and his indifference to anything except freedom, you never made a move. You didn’t think you stood a chance.

As Eren pulled your pants down, all but ripping one of your legs free from the material, you thought maybe you were wrong.

“God, already so wet for me and I’ve barely touched you.” He said, staring at the damp spot on your underwear. You instinctively went to close your legs from embarrassment but he was quick to catch them, “Oh no you don’t, keep your legs spread and let me fuck this pussy, okay?”

Eren didn’t wait for your reply, instead pulling his already hard cock out of his pants, pushing your panties to the side, and rubbing his dick through your folds. A moan ripped through you, starling you and making Eren chuckle.

“You’ve never even been touched before, have you?” He asked, collecting your slick on his cock. You shook your head, unable to trust your voice at the moment. He felt so good and he wasn’t even inside yet.

“Was that your first kiss?” Eren asked, stopping his movements and making you whine. “Answer me.”

“Y-yes, it was my first kiss.” You whimpered, rolling your hips to try and get back that friction.

“Fuck.” Eren groaned and without warning pushed the head of his cock instead you.

Tears immediately filled your eyes, the pleasure from a second replaced by pain. He was big, a lot bigger than your fingers, and since he hadn’t prepped you, the stretch was almost unbearable. Luckily Eren must of sensed your discomfort because once he popped his head in he stopped, leaning himself over you like a blanket to breathe into the crook of your neck.

“S-shit baby,” He stuttered out and you threw your arms around him, holding onto him for dear life. “You’re so tight it almost hurts.”

“D-definitely hurts.” You hiccup, feeling your tears fall.

Eren only chuckles meanly and says, “You can take it,” before pushing in more making you cry out.

Once he’s all the way inside, Eren stops again with a long groan. You’re crying now, eyes squeezed shut and you can feel hot steam under your fingers from where you’ve no doubt clawed chunks out of his back.

“Relax,” He’s saying in your ear suddenly, voice hoarse like he’s struggling, “You’re going to break my dick off if you don’t.”

You nod and take a deep breath, trying to force your body to relax. You don’t exactly know if you want this or not, your minds so clouded by all the sensations that doing what you’re told is almost instinctual.

“Good girl,” Eren moans, kissing your neck. “Just like, relax and enjoy it.”

He’s moving again, pulling out slowly and pushing back in a little quicker. It makes your breath hitch and your eyes roll to the back of your head. His length drags along a spot inside you that has you seeing stars, sparks of pleasure melting back into the pain. By the time he’s fucking you in earnest you’re a moaning mess beneath him.

“Fuck,” He groans again, his hand grabbing your leg and hiking it around his waist, “There you go. Knew you were a slut, just had to get you nice a loose for me.”

You were already close, that coil of warmth in your abdomen so much stronger than when you made yourself cum. Suddenly you needed to kiss him again, you need to feel him against you in every way. Dragging his face from the side of your neck you pulled him into a kiss and he instantly kissed back, pushing your head into the sand with the sheer force of it.

Instantly you were cumming, back arching into him and gasping into the kiss as pleasure consumed you.

Eren groaned into the kiss and you felt him bite your bottom, “Fuck baby, I make you good? Huh? Shit, you keep squeezing me like that and I’m gonna cum inside.”

“Do it.” You moaned, shaking from overstimulation.

“You sure?” He asked and you felt his cock twitch inside you.

“Yes, please Eren fill me up.” You begged, wrapping both your legs around him now to keep him inside you.

“Fucking shit-“ Eren cursed as he came, spilling inside you and filling you with warmth. You moaned at the feeling, clutching him tightly to you as another orgasm ripped through you.

Eren fucked you both through your releases, hips stuttering to a stop only when the pain of overstimulation was too much. After a moment he slowly pulled out of you, causing you both to hiss as the feeling, before flopping down on the sand next to you.

The two of you laid there silently for a while, breathing heavily and staring at the sky. You felt disgusting, especially with the sand sticking to you, but you were to exhausted to care.

You also felt too good.

Eren suddenly broke the silence, “I needed that.”

You reached over and smacked his arm hard, causing him to laugh, which caused you to laugh.

“So glad you’re feeling better,” You said sarcastically, “Now you get to help me clean up.”

“Round two in the bath?”

You turned your head to glare at him, seeing his smirk, “Don’t push it, Jeager.”

- Is this good? Is it bad? Idk but it is horny and that’s all that matters lol

Hope you like it Anon<3

[seriowan]

WAIT I JUST CHECJED OUT YOUR AO3 AND YOU WROTE THE DEVIL YOU KNOW?? OHMYGOD THIS IS LIKE SEEING A MOOT IRL WHAT THE FUCK. I LOVE YOUR WRITING NO MATTER THE FANDOM APPARENTLY KAHDJSBSN

also—complete tonal 180—for the dad!clones requests, maybe Tech + those dads with insane reflexes that catch their kids as they’re falling? inspired by him grabbing Omega to get on the Marauder this last episode XD

IT'S ME. HI. LOL NOOO I GET SO NERVOUS WHEN PEOPLE POINT THAT OUT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE I HIT MY WRITER'S BLOCK WITH TDYK AND I GET ANXIOUS EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT 😂😭 (but thank you for the kind words!! I PROMISE I'LL GET BACK TO IT SOON BTW I JUST NEED TIME CAUSE THAT FIC IS A MENTAL SLAUGHTERHOUSE)

now back to our irregularly scheduled program 😂 this is such a fun little ask i have just the idea for it!! — more dad!tech below the cut! (tech was a very popular request so all you baby lovers definitely want his kids and i felt that in my heart and soul ♡)

"dad! daddy, look! dad, look at me!"

tech glanced up from his datapad, watching with pinched brows as his little one sprinted up the large boulders. their search for a specific mineral had turned into a rather fun trip of exploration — at least for his tagalong.

he curiously watched as his adventurer sprinted and jumped from rock to rock. they climbed up the tall stones and slid back down, rolling and spreading dirt and twigs all over their clothes before sliding to an abrupt stop by tech's side.

putting the datapad on his belt, tech crouched and brushed the mess off of his little one's clothes, sighing. "i would prefer it if you remained by my side instead of running about like a feral tooka, my star."

"i can't stop," his little one huffed. "i have too much energy. i want to be like uncle hunter and uncle crosshair — like how they run and jump and run-"

"i understand," tech hummed, swiping twigs out of his child's hair. "but you need to be more cautious with where you step. i do not want to see you get hurt, adi'ka."

"i never get hurt, daddy," his little one murmured with an eye roll. "i'm instoppable."

"invincible."

"exactly," they cheesed, perching up to kiss his cheek before turning back to continue running up and down the boulders. tech sighed, wanting nothing more than to keep his child safe all without destroying their joy.

he continued walking through the rocky woods, occasionally glancing back at his little one as they shrieked and laughed with excitement.

but, as if honing into his fatherly sixth sense, tech felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. he turned around, looking up just as his small star ran up a large boulder without noticing its abrupt edge. when they reached the top, their eyes widened at the sudden drop and with a yelp, they slipped.

tech was there in the blink of an eye, catching his little one just before they could hurt themselves. he hooked his hands under their armpit and spun, gently settling them back down on their feet. their eyes were wide, chest rising and falling quickly at the realization that they could've gotten very injured.

without saying a word, tech simply arched his brow and his little one exhaled a heavy breath, leaning against his side.

"no more climbing?" he questioned them softly.

they nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it.

"no more climbing," they murmured, nervously looking back at the boulder that they fell from. "that was scary, daddy."

"i know, adi'ka," tech sighed, brushing their hair out of their eyes. "are you alright?" when they shook their head no, tech frowned. "you are safe now, my star. rest assured that i will try my best to always be there to catch you when you fall."

his little one looked at him with hopeful eyes, lips slowly curling into a smile.

"okay, daddy..." after a pause, they spared a longing look back at the rocks. "...but can i run? running is not climbing."

tech grimaced, then begrudgingly nodded.

"alright but-"

before he could get another word out, his little star cheered aloud and broke into a sprint, weaving all around the trees. tech just sighed and shook his head, smiling softly to himself.

"dad! dad, look!"

"i'm looking, adi'ka. i'm looking..."

lskjdhfalksdjfglsdjfgldsflhdfgaldfhg my ovaries will never know peace again after this

[justabeautifulgirl]

The next morning Venua woke up, and immediately thought of the robot girl in her basement. She got up and walked to her kitchen, the sunlight streaming in through the stained glass flowers in her window above the sink, casting multicolored lights onto the cob floor of the cottage. She started her electric kettle and started to make her favorite lemon strawberry tea. Once her tea had the proper amount of honey in it she headed down to the basement to see the solar cell's battery life reach 100 percent. "Wakey wakey." She said softly in a joking tone. Venua had always made a habit of talking to the bots she works on. She hears a startup sound and the bot opens her eyes, and screams. She starts to thrash around screaching in a harsh tone, the vocal module clearly damaged. "Please don't kill me!! Please! I don't want to die!!!" "Shhh. Be still! I'm not going to kill you." The girl stopped thrashing but still clearly panicked, looked around at her surroundings as if everything in sight was a threat. Her eyes finally focused on the woman in front of her, she had dark curly hair with gold streaks running through it and a large muscular frame which only served to compliment her femininity. She didn't look a thing like the people who were trying to murder her, in fact she didn't look familiar at all. "Who are you?" The girl asked, a quiver in her voice. "My name is Venua, I... I helped you." "Where am I?" "We're in my basement, I helped you. Are you... sensing, any issues? Anything I can help fix?" "I... I think my voice, it's wrong. A-And there's something wrong, I c-can't move my legs!" Venua looked down and saw that her legs weren't moving despite lights indicating that they were definitely powered. "Okay don't worry, I can help make them work. It just might take some time." "Well, how much time?" "I'm not sure but don't worry, I have a wheelchair around here somewhere, let me go find it." "Wait, where are you going?" "Just upstairs, I'll be right back down okay?" The robot girl sighed, and hung there waiting for her rescuer. As she calmed down she was able to notice more about her surroundings, like the boxes of spare, unfamiliar looking parts and the walls that looked like they were made of sand and clay. She looked down at herself and saw that the clunky battery she was once fitted with is replaced by a sleek, pill shaped device glowing with a light blue light. She tried to reach down and touch the device but her arms are held in place from the hooks under her armpits. "Alright I have a smaller folding wheelchair from when my friend had to use it before they got their prosthetic legs." Venua walked into the basement and unfolded the contraption, it looks similar to ones she used to see but a lot more sleek and refined. "Okay, let me reattach your chest and stomach plates." She quickly moved to fit them back into place, noticing that the girl flinched as she moved. "Can I touch you? I'm gonna have to lift you into the chair." "Y-Yes it's okay, just please d-don't hurt me." "I won't. I promise." Venua slowly held her arms out and lifted the girl off of the hooks and into the wheelchair, making sure that she fit well and was comfortable. "Now please don't try to go rolling off just yet, I want to fix your voice module and see if I can't get your legs working again."

[jahayla-parker]

My Darling, your Freddy fluff fics are sooooo comforting 😭❤️

Might I request Freddy helping fem!reader through/after a panic attack? Whatever you're comfortable with. ❤️❤️❤️

Anxious Love : Freddy Carter x Reader

Description: 3.5k wc, Freddy Carter helps the reader through and after an anxiety attack. (I’m aware that anxiety and panic attacks are different as I suffer from both, but after discussing with the requester I’ve settled on this being semi generic but referred to as anxiety as it is statistically more common and I want people to hopefully get comfort from this).

Warnings: anxiety/panic attacks discussed and described, self doubt, that’s it. It’s hurt-comfort.

“Freddy” y/n whimpered quietly, tapping his shoulder.

Noticing her tone, Freddy swiftly spun around, his eyes instantly inspecting her for injuries, “Darling, what’s the matter?”

She opened her mouth but closed it again, unable to form the words to express her predicament.

Freddy noticed and saw the shaking in her hands, “Is it okay if I hold you?”

Once she gave him a weak nod, he stepped closer, “come here love “

He pulled her closer to him, holding her as tight as he could, “I know it’s hard, but breathe with me okay? Just focus on my breath, nothing else”.

Y/n swallowed the nausea building in her and nodded.

“How are you doing?” Freddy whispered into her hair.

“My chest hurts, Freddy, I can’t breathe” she hiccuped, gasping.

He frowned, rubbing her back, “you can breathe. I know your mind is telling you otherwise, but you can breathe”.

She whimpered and buried her head against his chest, fisting his shirt tightly.

“Breathe for me please” he encouraged, rubbing his hand through her hair.

“Stop telling me to breathe! If I could breathe, I would’ve done it already!” She cried, her legs trembling under her.

Freddy sighed, irritability was normal with anxiety, he knew that.

But, he knew it must be serious, she hadn’t snapped like that before.

Deciding they needed to be done for the day, Freddy hooked his arm under y/N’s armpit to keep her upright.

“Lean on me” he whispered as they began walking, her knees nearly buckling.

Silently, she pressed more weight onto him as she zoned out straight ahead.

Freddy’s eyes locked onto her as he lead them to his car.

“I’m sorry” she cried with guilt, pulling away from his side.

“It’s okay, love, let’s-“ he began, but she shook her head rapidly.

“I- I need to s.. sit d-..” she mumbled, feeling dizzy.

He rushed back to her, guiding her to the cement blocks surrounding the water feature outside.

Once she was seated, he kneeled before her, grabbing her hands, “thank you for telling me y/n. Now, I want you to look in my eyes”.

She glanced over at him but footsteps around the corner shifted her attention.

“I know, but just look at me please. You’re safe, you’re okay, and you’re going to get through this” he soothed, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

Freddy listened as y/n took short and shaky breaths, slowly moving her eyes back to his.

“You’re doing great love, just look in my eyes, I won’t let anything happen to you” he assured her tenderly.

“Can you hear my voice?” Freddy asked after she held his gaze for a minute or so without deviating.

Taking a deep breath she whispered a faint yes.

He smiled at her, “wonderful. Now, to help you better, can you tell me what happened?”

Freddy squeezed her hand as he felt her fingers tense at his question.

“It’s been bad all day” she admitted, free hand running through her hair.

He nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“I couldn’t focus, I’m really tired, and, and my heart, it, it won’t “ She rambled, tears in her eyes.

Freddy felt his heart shatter the way it always did when she was in such despair.

He brushed some hair from her sweaty forehead, “shhh, I get it love. Any trigger today?”.

He didn’t want to push, but he wanted to be able to offer more help and the best way to do that would be to address the cause.

Freddy knew y/n had anxiety so often times it was unprovoked, but she also dealt with panic attacks as well which had triggers.

He wasn’t sure which one caused today’s discomfort.

“No… just really an-anxious” she sighed, rubbing her sternum over her shirt as she simultaneously shivered.

Freddy instantly noticed her anxiety induced sensitivity to the cold, and peeled off his coat.

He quickly wrapped it around her shoulders, smiling softly as she grabbed the sides and curled into it.

Now that she wasn’t reacting to each sound around them, he decided to have her do some grounding techniques.

“Y/n, can you tell me five things you can see?” He asked quietly, buttoning the coat over her making it more of a poncho as her arms were not in the sleeves.

She groaned, “I hate this game”.

Freddy nodded, “I know love, but come on”.

She sniffled, her nose running a bit.

Freddy used his sleeve to wipe her face, “Fine, how about five things that are green?”

Y/N’s eyes scanned their surroundings, “The tree… that car, …….. the…..- I can’t do this”.

Freddy shuffled closer, kissing the up of her head as her breathing picked up again.

“Yes you can. Listen, I’m so proud of you, you’re doing so well love. You said the tree, the car, what else? What else is green?” He redirected her.

“The… grass” she said, looking up at Freddy.

He smiled at her and nodded encouragingly.

“Umm… that guy’s shirt” y/n pointed after a moment.

Freddy pressed his lips into a fine line as he noticed her hand shaking significantly less than early.

“Mmm, what else?” He asked.

She looked around, grip tight on his hand, “That hill?”

Freddy nodded as she glanced back at him, “that works. Now, what are four things that are blue?”

Y/n gave him an irritated expression but began to scan for items matching items request.

“The water fountain” She said, looking next to her.

Freddy smiled and nodded.

“The sign there “ y/n added, holding two fingers out on her free hand.

“Your jeans” she said, a faint nervous giggle leaving her lips.

Freddy squeezed her hand and smiles widely, “very good love, one more?”

She looked around for a few seconds, not noticing the way her shaking had faded and heart slowed.

Her eyes cast to the sky, “the sky today”.

Freddy heard the whimsical sound of her voice and smiled to himself, “it is beautiful, huh?”

She nodded, still keeping her eyes locked above her.

After letting her zone out on the clear sky above them for a few moments, her breathing slowing, he spoke quietly.

“Three things that are yellow?” Freddy questioned.

“That BMW” y/n answered, looking at the parking lot.

He grinned, pleased she was giving more detailed descriptions than before; suggesting she was able to concentrate more.

“The posts in the parking lot” she added, turning back to him.

He nodded, rubbing her cheek tenderly.

“I don’t see anything else” she mumbled.

Freddy looked around, there weren’t nearly as many yellow items but there still were more to name.

“Just one more love, don’t rush,” he soothed, lowering his hand to hers.

She stared into his eyes and took a deep breath before letting her eyes wander the area.

“That plant?” She asked Freddy.

Freddy kissed her forehead, pleased it wasn’t as clammy now, “two white items?”

Y/n didn’t resist this time and instead quickly pointed to the door they’d exited, “the set door”.

Without waiting for him to remind her to find another, she searched for another white object.

Freddy watched her silently, his eyes analyzing her body language to see how she was doing.

His fingers discreetly slid around the hand he was holding, moving to feel her pulse.

Just as he noticed that her heart rate has calmed, she smiled softly, “your teeth”.

Freddy chuckled, unaware he’d smiled when checking her pulse.

“One y/f/c?” He smiled, saving her favorite color for last.

“My bag” she said without pause, her eyes still on Freddy’s.

He nodded, smiling proudly at her, “excellent love”.

She yawns and grins shyly at Freddy.

Chuckling, he slowly raises to a standing position, “how do your legs feel?”.

Y/n smiles widely at him as a form of appreciation for helping her, “they’re okay”.

“And your head? Anymore lightheadedness?” He questions, holding the outside of her biceps as she sits up straighter.

“Nope” she assures him, getting ready to stand.

“Alright” he smiles, “cause if you’re lying and you pass out on me, I’ll tickle you until you wake up”.

She gasped and shook her head, “you wouldn’t dare Freddy!”

He smirked and kissed her cheek as he helped her stand, “if you hid it from me, yes I would. After bringing you to the hospital, that is”.

Y/n giggled and yawned again as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder.

“Let’s get you home for a nap Hmm?” Freddy suggested, guiding them to the car.

“It’s early honey” she argued, another yawn following.

He smiled sweetly down at her, stroking her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder, “I’m aware, but you’ve had a challenging morning and it’s okay for it to have tired you out. That’s normal”.

She hummed and snuggled into his side more, his coat still hung loosely over her.

Freddy cautiously watched her as they entered the parking lot and approached his car.

“Watch your head love” he reminded her as he opened her door for her.

Y/n slowly slid into the seat.

As he went to close the door, he laughed and pulled it back open, “we should probably remove this first”.

He gently unbuttoned his coat from around her as her arms were trapped under it.

Freddy kissed her nose as she pouted at him, “if you want to actually put your arms in the sleeves, you can still wear it darling. But I need you to be buckled in, so your arms need to be free”.

She nodded, “I don’t want to get out, can I umm.. just…”

Freddy waited patiently as he let her try to find the word she was searching for.

Y/n groaned, tugging on her roots in frustration over not being able to find the simple word.

“Shh, Shh, Shh, hey now. Love, don’t do that” he whispered, delicately uncurling her fingers from her hair.

“I.. gah! It’s a simple word and it’s right there, but I just-“ she sighed, looking down at her feet resting on his car’s floorboard.

Freddy frowned, tilting her head up so he could look into her eyes, “darling, give yourself a break. Alright? It’s okay to still be a little disoriented and foggy”.

She gave him a weak smile and nodded.

He smiled back and pressed his lips to the crown of her head, “I’m serious y/n. This is normal for anxiety, you know that. I’m sorry it’s frustrating, but it doesn’t make me think any less of you. So please don’t let it make you think less of yourself”.

She leaned back until their heads parted, reaching her hand up to cup his cheek, “thank you Freddy”.

Freddy beamed and nodded, “always, now, were you asking to hold it?”

Y/n’s smile grew, “yes”.

He leaned down, kissing her forehead as he rested his coat in her lap, “there ya are love, now, watch your feet”.

Freddy double checked her legs weren’t in the way of the doorframe before closing her door.

He rushed around to his side, promptly sliding in and starting the car, “we’ll be home soon”.

She looked over at him, one hand holding his coat to her nose, breathing in his scent.

Y/n’s other hand reached for his, Freddy shifting his grip on the steering wheel to be able to hold her hand.

He smiled over at her, rubbing circles on her hand with his thumb, “thank you for coming to me. I’m really proud of you”.

She smiled shyly, “thank you for helping me… again”.

Freddy noticed while she was sincere, there was a note of guilt or embarrassment in her voice.

He squeezed her hand, glancing away for a second to watch the road.

When he looked back at her as they pulled to a stop, he whispered, “‘ey love, none of that. Yeah? You know I’m always happy to be there for you when you need me”.

She curled the side of her mouth upwards in a weak smile, “You know I really do love you right? I know I’m not the best at showing it but I-“

Freddy scrunched his brows together as he looked at the road.

He knew he needed to go, it was his turn, but he couldn’t put this discussion off.

So, he found a spot on the side of the road, pulling his car over so he could stop and look only at her.

“Y/n, don’t you ever doubt that. I know you love me” Freddy stated, shifting to face her.

"Okay, good. Cause… Freddy…I know I'm hard to love and I'm all broken inside, but I promise you, I'm loving you with everything I am. I'm loving you with all my pieces” she whispered, eyes boring into his.

Freddy felt his eyes water as he listened to her kind words, “darling…”

He unbuckled his seat, reaching out for her.

She set the jacket in her lap and leaned over the console, wrapping her arms around him.

“Sweetheart, as much as I love hearing you say you love me, where is this coming from? Hmm? Why do you feel you’re hard to love or that I don’t know you love me?” He inquired, rubbing the back of her head.

She sniffled, snuggling closer to him, now sitting on the console in a desperate attempt to be nearer to him.

“Y/n, love?” He asked, concern laced in his voice when he noticed her erratic breathing.

She leaned back enough to peer up at him, “I'm scared, okay? I'm scared that one day you're going to wake up and not love me anymore. I'm scared that you're going to get sick of my craziness and my need for constant reassurance that you aren't leaving me. I'm scared that you're going to get fed up with my panic and anxiety attacks. Most of all, I'm scared that you're going to see me the way I see myself. And I feel selfish for asking this, but… Just please, please don't leave me."

Freddy’s mouth parted slightly as his jaw lowered at her response.

It took him time to compose his thoughts so he pulled her to him, holding her tightly.

“First,” he whispered into her ear, “I’m never leaving you. Especially not over something like this”.

He pressed a light kiss to her earlobe, “second, I will never not love you. I know you would normally tease me about how one can never know those things for certain. But I’d argue I do. At least when it comes to you. No matter what happens my dear, you are engraved in my heart and soul. Nothing will ever change that, definitely not you needing or wanting me or my help.”

She choked on a whispered sob, sinking into his arms.

Freddy closed his eyes, both his arms and hands tightly holding onto her as he took a breath to keep his voice calm.

“While I wish I could take this all away for you, make it so you never have to experience another panic or anxiety attack or doubt yourself, it doesn’t mean I am bothered by helping you through it” he promised, his warm breath tickling her ear.

“I don’t want you to ever feel like this, but I don’t mind being there for you. I wish it were for another reason, for your sake, but I love and am honored to be able to help you. So while I wish you didn’t have to experience this, I cherish you trusting me and being comfortable enough with me to come to me in those moments” Freddy swore, kissing the tip of her ear.

Y/n cried into his shoulders her tears saturating his tshirt but he wasn’t phased.

“Lastly, my precious darling, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Before, during, after, and between attacks, and just in general. You are my favorite person…. Don’t tell my mum “ he added, both of them giggling softly.

“But you are. And always will be, so you don’t need to worry, about anything. Especially not that my love for you would ever change or that you or your anxiety could ever do something to change it “ Freddy begged, placing slow and soft kisses to the side of her head.

“Seriously, if you don’t stop saying you’re sorry or thanking me, I’ll pull the car over again and kiss you until you do” Freddy teased, squeezing her hand as he neared their place.

“Is that supposed to be a threat?” She rebutted, voice frail but a smirk on her lips as she stared over at him.

Glancing at her briefly before back at the road, he smirked, “mmm, alright perhaps not such a great one? Change it to the opposite then, no kisses until you stop”.

“No more sorrys or thank yous, got it” she smiled, burying her free hand in his coat on her lap.

Freddy chuckled, smiling over at her.

She raised an eyebrow at him, earning more laughter.

Complying with his promise and her silent reminder/request, he took advantage of the next mandated stop in the road to press his lips on hers.

As they pulled apart, she smiled up at him and he kissed her forehead before turning his eyes back to the street.

“Can I change one of my answers?” Y/n mumbled as they walked onto their home, hand-in-hand.

“What?” Freddy asked softly, holding the door open for her.

“From earlier. I want to change one of my answers for blue things to your eyes” she said quietly, looking into his eyes.

Propping the door open with his back, he pulled her to his chest slowly as to not startle her, “very sweet darling, but that’s not how it works love, it is what you notice in the moment”.

She blinked up at him and nodded , “ I know and I did… but in the moment I’d just focused on how calming they were, not the color”.

Freddy blushed and grinned widely, “I think I actually prefer that, love”.

She giggled and nodded, covering her mouth as she yawned.

“Ahh, see you distracted me” He joked, guiding her inside by placing his hand on her tailbone, “It’s time for you to get some rest”.

It took him only minutes to help her change into more comfortable clothing and into their bed.

He grabbed her weighted blanket from their closet, gently placing it over her body.

Kissing her cheek, he spun around and headed back to the closet.

He smiled as his eyes landed on the stuffed animal he was looking for.

Freddy grabbed that and a pair of fuzzy socks before going back to the bedroom.

“I think this guy could help” he said, handing her the stuffed animal that had a weighted bottom.

“Thank you Freddy “ she smiled, her eyes blinking slowly from exhaustion.

He nodded, kneeling down by the end of the bed, “now, these should help with your cold feet, love”.

He carefully pulled the fuzzy socks over her toes and feet, ensuring it didn’t tickle.

He hummed in content as he stood up, pulling the blankets back over her feet.

Glancing towards her, he smiled back at her as he took in the sight of her relaxed facial features and smile on her lips.

“Freddy…” she whispered as he watched her from the doorframe.

He nodded, silently waiting for her to continue.

She bit her lip, wanting to plead with him to stay.

But she was so tired of asking things of him, even if he told her it didn’t bother him.

She didn’t want to have to beg him to stay with her; certainly not after all he’d just done.

Freddy noticed the look in her eyes and her hesitation, quickly putting it together.

He gave her a small smile as he pulled a causal t-shirt from his dresser drawer; his back to her as he silently changed into it.

Y/n watched, hoping he’d decided to stay, but not wanting to get her hopes up.

He then bent down and took out a pair or trousers from his bottom drawer.

Freddy quickly switched bottoms before turning back to her, “is there room for me?”

She smiled widely and nodded rapidly, unnecessarily trying to shuffle to the side more but being stopped by the weight of blankets he had over her, including the 50lb weighted anxiety blanket.

Freddy chuckled, shaking his head at her failed attempts to move.

He lifted the corner of the covers, sliding under the main comforter.

Y/n turned her head to him with a smile.

Freddy adjusted his spot on their bed, moving so she could rest her head on his chest.

She crooked her neck so she could breathe in his cologne and closed her eyes, breathing deeply to keep her heart rate steady.

“That’s it love, you’ve got it” he encouraged, lips resting on the top of her head, “I’m right here, I’ve got you”.

He watched as her head sank into his chest more as sleep overcame her, whispering to the otherwise empty room “ just rest my anxious love. I’ll be here when you wake”.

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