#penny loveless

[galpalaven]

some Penny looks in this dollmaker too~

[chemicalarospec]

libraries are the best places in the whole wide world!!!

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🩷💛💙 Books for Pan Pride Day 💙💛🩷

🩷 Sammy Espinoza’s Last Review - Tehlor Kay Mejia 💛 Bad at Love - Gabriela Martins 💙 A Shot in the Dark - Victoria Lee 💙 The (Un)popular Vote - Jasper Sanchez 💛 Beating Heart Baby - Lio Min 🩷 How to Find a Missing Girl - Victoria Wlosok

🩷 Back in a Spell - Lana Harper 💛 In the City of Time - Gwendolyn Clare’ 💙 The Mirror Season - Anna-Marie McLemore 💙 It Goes Like This - Miel Moreland 💛 Get it Right - Skye Kilaen 🩷 Summer at the Scottish Castle - Rachel Bowdler

🩷 Scoreless Game - Anna Zabo and L.A. Witt 💛 This Rebel Heart - Katherine Locke 💙 The Adventures of Isabel - Candas Jane Dorsey 💙 Ben and Beatriz - Katalina Gamarra 💛 Pyre at the Eyreholme Trust - Lin Darrow 🩷 Love & Other Disasters - Anita Kelly

🩷 Chef’s Choice - TJ Alexander @tjalexandernyc 💛 For Never & Always - Helena Greer 💙 Extra Witchy - Ann Aguirre 💙 Loveless - Alice Oseman 💛 Miss Meteor - Anna-Marie McLemore and Tehlor Kay Mejia 🩷 A Dark and Hollow Star - Ashley Shuttleworth

🩷 Court of the Undying Seasons - A.M. Strickland 💛 The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - V. E. Schwab 💙 In the Ravenous Dark - AdriAnne Strickland 💙 For the Love of April French - Penny Aimes 💛 Drag Me Up - R.M. Virtues 🩷 One Step at a Time - Lily Seabrooke

🩷 Pretend Girlfriend - Lily Craig 💛 Verona Comics - Jennifer Dugan 💙 Count Your Lucky Stars - Alexandria Bellefleur 💙 Liar’s Guide to the Night Sky - Brianna Shrum 💛 Man O’ War - Cory McCarthy 🩷 The Unconquered City by K.A. Doore

🩷 Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith 💛 Dark Soul - Aleksandr Voinov 💙 On the Other Side - Carrie Hope Fletcher 💙 A Darker Shade of Magic - Victoria E. Schwab 💛 Superficial - Diane Billas 🩷 Crownchasers - Rebecca Coffindaffer

🩷 The Brightsiders - Jen Wilde 💛 Stars Collide - Rachel Lacey 💙 Final Draft - Riley Redgate 💙 This Is Me Trying - Racquel Marie 💛 Always the Almost - Edward Underhill 🩷 Perfect on Paper - Sophie Gonzales

[the-regulus-family]

⚠️ Warning spoilers VADTD episode 132⚠️

I can assure you that they are both having a tremendous breakdown due to fear of rejection, since they both grew up in a loveless environment, so they are slow to understand these new emotions💔

Is just that this episode is more focused on Penny's emotions than on Callisto's, but his expression here says a lot (for those of us who read the novel we know it) ♥♦ ️

I only ask for understanding on both sides, because what Callisto is doing is also what Penelope is doing, their romance story is a slowburn and right now we are very far from a confession. They need to realize their feelings first before starting something🌹

[quillkiller]

penny for the poor… do you have any sunkiller thoughts 🙏

(…jarty right??? im going with jarty mwah <3)

I DO !!!!!! and i have shared some here !! 🤍

to me, jarty is sooo interesting because in no world or universe would they be able to ever comprehend the other persons like lived experience. like the two of them simply don’t live in the same world, how they view the world, how they view themselves and the other, etc and so forth. it’ll never overlap and they would never like be on the same page. their realities will NEVER coexist. there’s just something so deeply compelling about them never being able to fully comprehend or understand the other while at the same time they’re both SO certain that they have the other down to a tee.

like. they could never be friends and they could never have anything resembling a healthy dynamic. barty always hates james to me and james always either hates barty right back (depending on the james ship) or he very badly wants to impress him because he thinks they’re ’cut from the same cloth’. james has this idea in his head that they’re the same, both rebel delinquents, and them always meeting in detention means that Haha 😉 we’re both mischievious rule breakers .. 😝 as if james didnt end up in detention because of something super juvenile and lame and barty ended up in detention because he was caught idk. putting out cigarettes on his own skin just to pass the time. like james can’t for the life of him understand that his Fun Prankster Lifestyle is actually quite harmless whereas barty is actually actively self destructive and unpredictable due to his #mental health. <- and i also have a lot of thoughts about how sirius protects james from this. he doesn’t want to burst james’ bubble, but like, sirius knows they’re lame…. sirius comes from a barty adjacent background and found solace and freedom in james’ innocence

and barty HATES james. with a passion. thinks he’s an absolute loser . because james is quite literally his polar opposite. THE anti-barty. he’s an only (pureblood) child with two loving parents whereas barty is an only (pureblood) child in a loveless house. james who has never struggled once in his life ever, barty who’s going through seven different types of hell during just his morning routine, and yet they both always end up in detention together. like they meet in this middle but they’re coming from two completely different sides and they’re both completely unable to think clearly when it comes to the other. barty will never see james like james sees himself, james will never see barty like barty sees himself, and they will never ever exist in a reality that overlaps. their perceptions of reality will NEVER OVERLAP !!!!!!

and they’re both absolutely and completely unable to be indifferent about each other. they’re obsessed with each other, hate each other, are deeply jealous of the other, barty jerks off to james and hits his head against a wall after, james jerks off to barty and sends him three texts in a row after and is left on read, james starts dating someone and barty fucks whoever he’s dating and sends james a picture, james punches barty for it and barty spits in his face, jerks off to the memory and hits his head against a wall, james jerks off looking at the picture barty sent, sends barty three texts in a row and is left on read, and the cycle repeats… james wants barty to like him and barty wants james to hate him and they will never ever live in the same reality …… :~)

[xxnghtclls]

Permission

Chapter 2

(Chapter 1; Chapter 3)

True Form Sukuna x Reader

Rating: Explicit

Warning: Graphic Depiction Of Violence

Please see Chapter 1 for tags!

The Path To A New Beginning

Gigantic, curved spikes protrude on the roof. The form of a huge opened mouth sitting under the ceiling of a shrine, big teeth standing out. In the middle of it, a big, heavy wooden door. Bones and skulls of cattle and bulls laying around in bulk at the corner pillars of the shrine.

It has been 6 years since your village was destroyed by a mysterious creature, which laid the path for your escape. You survived. Finding shelter in abandoned houses and hiding between pigs and cows in farmers barns. Stealing food from the market, hunting animals in the woods with self made bow and arrow, that has been your life for a good amount of time. Occasionally a farmer allowed you to clear the shit out of cows and horses barns, earning yourself a penny for it. Other times you sat on the street, begging, earning a penny out of peoples goodwill. The years have been rough on you and your body. At merely 20 years old, you looked malnourished and unhealthy, trying to cover it up with a layer of rags. Hiding your face under a hood in case someone from your village survived without you knowing. You would never want to see anyone of that shithole again. In reality though, you felt alone, felt alone for your whole life. You just wished for it to end, to have somebody to cherish, to love, to be loved.

Would’ve death been better? you asked yourself sometimes before you fell asleep. One thing you couldn’t forget though.

Him.

Was he your saviour or death sentence? No matter what he was, you couldn’t forget him, the sight of him devouring a woman of your village, his arms, the veins on his fingers, grabbing that woman’s neck. The blood. The noises. The smell. The screams. Sometimes you woke up in the night, sweating. Nightmares of being that woman and being devoured by him haunted you. Red eyes staring into yours. Fingers grabbing your hair and neck. Four muscled arms holding you tightly.

So intimidating. So... fascinating.

As much as you feared him, you couldn’t deny you were interested in him, his being, his energy. His strength and power, the flames he summoned.

One time you went back to the spot where your eyes first met. The surrounding area abandoned. No one lives there anymore. They say it’s haunted, cursed even. You heard of people going missing or found dead, although the area is empty of people and wildlife. Tiptoeing through the trees like you did six years ago, you spot the area where he was sitting. A dark spot on the ground where his campfire burned marks the spot. It’s still not vanished after all these years.

A different kind of flame maybe.

Slowly moving forward, you made your way out of the shadows of the trees. The step you couldn’t take six years ago felt heavy to take. You sat down on the spot were he sat. Still feeling an ounce of different energy there, you started to cry. You felt an emptiness within you, a lack of something. A lack of purpose. Loveless. You felt the need to take action, to do something, to search... for him.

Leaving the place empty hearted, you started to gather information about the creature. You went around, asking people in the next town and farmers in the next village. Some would not want to give you any information, some talked a bit, sometimes you would even overhear people talking about him.

The first time you heard his name you felt your heart twitch. Ryomen Sukuna. The King of Curses.

Some worship him as a god or a king, some feel the fear of him in their bones, people say. A monster, the devil himself.

A feeling of longing started to build up in your stomach. Supposedly he lives in a shrine, a days march to the south from your current location, you heard. If you seek him out, maybe you will find your purpose. Either in life or in death.

Gigantic, curved spikes protrude on the roof. The form of a huge opened mouth sitting under the ceiling of the shrine, big teeth standing out. In the middle of it, a big, heavy wooden door. Bones and skulls of cattle and bulls laying around in bulk at the corner pillars of the shrine. Located just outside of a dark forest, it does look scary. At least that must mean that he lives here.

No one else would enjoy a shrine like this.

The warm colours of the sunset touch your skin, standing on front of the place you were searching for. A familiar kind of energy hits your stomach once again. It feels like you’re close to him again. The feeling embraces you, makes you feel dizzy and addicted at the same time. As if he’s grabbing your throat without being there at all, pulling you closer to him. As if these long claws of his slowly stroke the artery on your neck, ready to stab it. The feeling excites you in a weird way or maybe it’s the relief to feel again.

Shaking your head, you take a deep breath, you knock.

No answer.

You feel your heart drop.

What am I even doing?

After a long exhale, you decide to sit down at one of the pillars. Waiting. Hoping, that someone would open the doors, to let you in. The energy embracing you earlier not letting you go.

Clouds are getting dark, wind begins to rise, rustles through the brown leaves of October, rain starts to fall. The wet cold creeps into your skin. Drops falling onto the hood of the robe you’re wearing, you shiver. Your body isn’t made for this anymore. You survived long 6 years in similar conditions, but now, however, you’re tired, you don’t know what to do anymore. A part of you wishes for it all to end. Right now. Right here.

“Maybe that’s the night I’m going to die” you quietly whisper. Your eyes fall shut. Seconds and minutes and hours pass.

“Come.” an unfamiliar, calm voice suddenly says. You look up. A white haired monk, not much taller than you, offers you their hand. They must’ve been walking up to you from inside the woods as you have not heard the wooden doors open. Slowly you reach for their hand. After helping you up, they make their way to the wooden door. You feel weak, trying your best to keep yourself up, but to no avail. You fall down. Blackness creeps into your vision. You lose consciousness.

[our-arospec-experience]

ough i made an enitre "rant" explaining why aros, specifically loveless aros get so much hate and never taken seriously (if i had a penny for everytime someone said "but theres different types of love!!" under a clear as day LOVELESS post i could buy myself a pack of skittles) and tumblr deleted it ;-; maybe i'll make it again another day. i feel like it could've made people see the fact that emotions = morality to society and compare it with other "unacceptable" types of lack of emotion. anyways i hope everyone has a nice day!!

:(

[wooataes]

Real Eyes, Fake Lies (Part Eight) TEASER

Pairing: soulmate!Lee Jihoon X Fem!Reader

Word Count: ???

Warnings: ???

Summary: What do you do when you find out the one person that was created by the universe to be yours doesn’t want you back?

A/N: thank you all for the continued love and support for this story! you have no idea how much it helps me that you guys love this. 🥰

- Tae 🌸💜

Ask to be added to my Taglist

“Penny for your thoughts, Goober?” Jihoon hears Jisoo speak. “You seem pretty glum over here.”

“I’m fine.” You frown slightly. “Everything is fine and perfect. I have you back, my brother is having a great birthday trip so far, my family and friends are happy. Why wouldn’t I be happy?” You don’t look up at him.

“Hmm..” he hums slowly. “That’s true, but you didn’t mention yourself in that sentence.”

“I’m all good.”

“If that’s true, then why do you look so broken?”

You pause. Jihoon feels the pain in your stomach begin to rise as you continue to speak to your long lost friend.

Real Eyes, Fake Lies Taglist:

@vixensss @ldysmfrst @hemmingsness @lizzymizzy-blogg @kawennote09 @breakfastburritosattiffanys @im-gemmy @friendlywraith @devinkelsey19 @kameko-ko @mar-627 @woozieeeee @milopenne @stellauniverse @addicsvt @woozixo @changbinisms

Permanent Taglist

@misshale21 @etaerealboy @loveless-lie @lixiel0ver

[ozmatippetarius]

also think everybody needs to go back and read this passage again

“She’s from Hell,” Charles said drunkenly. “Oh, she’s not that bad,” said Francis. “You just say that because she kisses up to you all the time,” Charles said. “Because of your mother and stuff.” “Kiss up? What are you talking about? Mrs. Corcoran doesn’t kiss up to me.” “She’s awful,” Charles said. “It’s a horrible thing to tell your kids that money’s the only thing in the world, but it’s a disgrace to work for it. Then toss ’em out without a penny. She never gave Bunny one red—” “That’s Mr. Corcoran’s fault, too,” said Camilla. “Well, yeah, maybe. I don’t know. I just never met such a bunch of greedy, shallow people. You look at them and think, oh, what a tasteful, attractive family but they’re just a bunch of zeros, like something from an ad. They’ve got this room in their house,” Charles said, turning to me, “called the Gucci Room.” “What?” “Well, they painted it with a dado, sort of, those awful Gucci stripes. It was in all kinds of magazines. House Beautiful had it in some ridiculous article they did on Whimsy in Decorating or some absurd idea—you know, where they tell you to paint a giant lobster or something on your bedroom ceiling and it’s supposed to be very witty and attractive.” He lit a cigarette. “I mean, that’s exactly the kind of people they are,” he said. “All surface. Bunny was the best of them by a long shot but even he—” “I hate Gucci,” said Francis. “Do you?” said Henry, glancing up from his reverie. “Really? I think it’s rather grand.” “Come on, Henry.” “Well, it’s so expensive, but it’s so ugly too, isn’t it? I think they make it ugly on purpose. And yet people buy it out of sheer perversity.” “I don’t see what you think is grand about that.” “Anything is grand if it’s done on a large enough scale,” said Henry.

Charles mourning how much his dead friend was fucked up by his family’s shallow, loveless treatment of him and their obsession with consumerism, and Francis and Henry interrupting to have their own vapid conversation totally exhibiting the behavior he was condemning, with no self-awareness whatsoever: this is the TSH experience.

[11cleyvaart]

Quimby headcanons maybe?😘😘

These are just my headcanons of Quimby, and some of them are also observed from the shows as well that keep his character in canon. And I'm sure I missed something too.

To be clear this is for my Inspector Gadget Au, where it's more gritty and more like the futuristic aspect rather than the 1980-2015 world of Gadget. 

His full name is Frank Mitchel Quimby. 

He's also 41 years old. He's been married to a woman for 20 years, and has been divorced just recently. 

He's a closeted homosexual, but feels more at ease and comfortable with Gadget than anyone else. He's known Augustin for years on the force and later turned into a romantic relationship between them. Their relationship slightly boarders on a rebound relationship.

His father was a military veteran and amputee, so he had years of understanding for those who have lost parts of them. Which allows him to understand Gadget on that level as well. 

Years of smoking a pipe gives him a permanent scent of peaches. He likes his flavoured tobacco for his pipe and will always have a faint peach fruit to his clothes. Yet on most days he doesn't smoke his pipe, mostly just to have something in his mouth. All his pencils have bite marks so he opted to just holding his wooden pipe in his mouth instead. 

He's an undercover agent himself, usually the one who gets the information on MAD and their plans. Making him the most sought after man in the entire department to be killed. He uses his stealth and many disguises to hide in plain sight.

So he lives a life of stress, and picks at his tie causing it to be loose and crumbled. He goes through them but it is too cheap to buy new ones. His stress also contributes to his weight gain as he rarely lives at his own home anymore in fear of MAD finding him, so he eats fast-food alot. He's a big meat guy, likes burgers and sausages with little on the veggies. 

He's also a skilled shooter, his shape may not show it but he's very capable of moves after years of service to the force. 

His favourite weapon of choice is the S&W Model 39, a small gun that takes much longer to learn to shoot but it serves its purpose. Even if it's defunct at this point he loves the feel of it and wouldn't want to replace it. 

Now after all that's said and done, he's also a masochist. He loves a good bite here and there getting his head shoved down on Gadget's ‘gadget’. He lives to be subject to pain within his limits. In his first marriage, it was a dead and loveless time. But with Augustin, he's more free to be the person who was hiding in him all along. He's a complete bottom and doesn't mind it as long as his top is his Inspector. Yet due to Gadget's sheer weight from his machinery, Quimby rides cowgirl. With missionary position a limited event that is used to hit their sweet spots, especially Quimby's. 

To everyone else he is mean and quick to anger but with Augustin he's a soft and gentle man. He also has a caring spot for Penny, especially little Penny. He feels more motherly towards her and will do anything in his power to be sure her uncle comes home alive everyday. 

A firm advocate for Inspector Gadget and his ability to solve crimes, when sometimes he is just blinded in his infatuation for the man he believes Augustin can do anything. So he automatically congratulates him even when Augustin knows he didn't do anything.

[galpalaven]

tagged by @brother-genitivi to make an OC in this new picrew so I made my @infamous-if MC, Penny Fisher Loveless, both in a stage look and a more relaxed look for the bus ;w;

[pass1onepr1ncess]

CW for this post because I talk about suicide a bit! It's positive in the end, though, I promise!

At the ripe age of 14/15 years old, I fully planned to kill myself. I had done research, I made my peace with it, I had a plan. I even had a backup plan. But when the time actually came, I couldn't follow through. Not because I knew things would get better or realized that I still wanted to live- because I didn't- but because I knew my abusive family wouldn't take care of my cat properly if I was gone.

That cat is dead now, unfortunately. Funny enough, she died because of my shitty family's neglect of her after I moved out and couldn't take her with me. I hate to say "I knew it" or "I told you so" to no one in particular, but I did. I have her urn in my room and I now have two other cats that I love dearly, but that's not the point of this post.

I was thinking about it all, how if I had gone through with it all just how much I would've missed. If I had ended my life at 15, I never would've met my best friend at 16. Who I'm still close to to this day, going on strong for 5 years now. And all the people that I've met because of my relationship with him, I never would've crossed paths with.

I never would've gotten to walk the stage and got my diploma, even if the cap and gowns my school had were ugly as hell. I never would've gotten to move out and cut contact with my abusive mother. She still stalked me for a few years after and some of the damage she's done to me is permanent, but she can't get to me anymore. She can't hurt me, and I've made significant progress in healing from the damage that isn't irreversible.

I never would've met my wonderful, lovely partners who keep reminding me everyday that all the things I always thought I'd have to settle for are all things I should strive higher for. That I shouldn't have to sell myself short because I think my actual wishes are too far-fetched or that I don't deserve it. I don't know about soulmates, but I truly believe that fate had it in the scripts for me to meet them at just the right time when I was ready for everything I ever dreamed of. And if I had offed myself when I was still in high school, I would have died thinking the world was a loveless, cruel, unfair place void of joy or any light at the end of the tunnel.

But I didn't. And so now I'm laying here in bed under my blankets watching an old Penny Parker VOD of her RE4 remake streams. One of my cats is laying on my chest, purring while she drifts in and out of sleep. I have work in a few hours, but I'm saving up to go visit my best friend later this year and possibly my partners if I play my cards right.

Life is good. My life didn't end at 15, and my life is good. I won't pretend like everything is sunshine and rainbows. There's still a lot wrong with the world and I still have problems of my own, but at least I'm not suicidal anymore. Whatever issues I face, I know that there's always either a solution or a chance to rebuild. I won't give up. I will keep going and keep living because as much as I would've missed if I had died at 15 I know there's still so much of my life that I'll have missed if I give up now.

I will keep living to see what my future has in store for me. Be it good or bad, I don't want to miss it.

[milkyway-gaily]

I just watched this gem with Armie in it✨ His charm is unstoppable😩👌(spoiler alert: the short film itself may contain gore)

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 (2018) dir. Dev Patel

Sophie Kargman, Armie Hammer, Thomas Sadoski, Amelia Brain

The following synopsis is taken from the Dev Patel fan page on FB:

In a loveless marriage, Penny finds solace in the hypnotic escape of the home shopping channel. When things take an unexpected turn, the channel proves to be her saving grace - or perhaps it was the origin of the problem all along.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

Pansexual & Panromantic Pride

✨💖💛💙✨

💖 Happy belated Panromantic & Pansexual Pride Day (December 8)! To all my pan bookish bats, I see you. 💛 As always, I can't stress the importance of having these books on our shelves, to boost awareness and support for our queer community. Here are a few books featuring pansexual and panromantic characters! 💙

✨ What’s your favorite pan book? Share the title and tag the author in the comments!

💖 Crownchasers by Rebecca Coffindaffer 💛 In the Ravenous Dark by A.M. Strickland 💙 Scoreless Game by Anna Zabo and L.A. Witt 💖 Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed 💛 Beating Heart Baby by Lio Min 💙 Bad at Love by Gabriela Martins 💖 A Dark and Hollow Star by Ashley Shuttleworth 💛 Miss Meteor by Tehlor Kay Mejia and Anna-Marie McLemore 💙 The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli 💖 Final Draft by Riley Redgate 💛 Get It Right by Skye Kilaen 💙 The Mirror Season by Anna-Marie McLemore

💖 Chef’s Choice by TJ Alexander 💛 How to Find a Missing Girl by Victoria Wlosok 💙 For Never & Always by Helena Greer 💖 In the City of Time by Gwendolyn Clare 💛 Ship It by Britta Lundin 💙 It Goes Like This by Miel Moreland 💖 Count Your Lucky Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur 💛 Love & Other Disasters by Anita Kelly 💙 Man O’ War by Cory McCarthy 💖 The (Un)popular Vote by Jasper Sanchez 💛 Loveless by Alice Oseman 💙 A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab

💖 The Library of the Unwritten by AJ Hackwith 💛 Verona Comics by Jennifer Dugan 💙 One Step at a Time by Lily Seabrooke 💖 For the Love of April French by Penny Aimes 💛 Wild and Crooked by Leah Thomas 💙 Once & Future by Amy Rose Capetta 💖 This Rebel Heart by Katherine Locke 💛 Pyre at the Eyreholme Trust by Lin Darrow 💙 Drag Me Up by R.M. Virtues 💖 Extra Witchy by Ann Aguirre 💛 Ben and Beatriz by Katalina Gamarra 💙 The Adventures of Isabel by Candas Jane Dorsey

[thecrenshawchronicles]

-BASICS

Name: Sebastian Crenshaw Age / D.O.B.: 36 / March 21, 1987 Gender, Pronouns & Sexuality: cis-male, he/him, bi-sexual Hometown: Los Angeles, California Affiliation: The Syndicate - Cleaner Job position: EMT Education: Bachelors of Science, Doctorate of Medicine Relationship status: Single Children: 0 Positive traits: (5) Assertive, Loyal, Self-Sufficient, Dependable, Unassuming Negative traits: (5) Manipulative, Obsessive, Callous, Blunt, Secretive

Bio TW: Abuse, Assault, Child Abuse, Death, Terminal Illness, Emotional Abuse, Violence, Miscarriage Mention, Self-Harm

-BIO

Sebastian Crenshaw. It was a name that attracted attention, and from the time he was little attention was something he had received in spades. He was doted on by his mother; as her only child he was the light of her life and she never hesitated to make him the center of her world. Throughout his younger years, she took him everywhere she went: charity events, church, even to her office job as a receptionist at a local bank; where he was oohed and aahed over, constantly being passed from one person to the next. Those experiences stuck to him as he continued to grow, filling him with an emboldened sense of confidence and charm. His teachers fawned over how intelligent he was, often complimenting his mother on how bright he his mind appeared to be and recommending he be moved up into the gifted classes. However, not everything ran smoothly in young Sebastian’s life. From the moment of his conception, his father had been angry; Mr. Crenshaw was a notorious penny pincher and the idea of raising a child, of paying to raise a child, infuriated him. When his wife had come to him with the news that they were pregnant, he showed his appreciation with his fists. He never touched her face, he liked her to look pretty; instead his hands pounded against the soft flesh of her body, trying to rid himself of the burden of another mouth to feed. Eventually he resigned himself to becoming a father. Unlike Sebastian’s mother who showered him with affection and love, his father scarcely paid attention to him. Only deigning to speak to the boy if he had done something unspeakable; wanting a new toy, asking for seconds at meal times, or even putting too much ketchup onto his plate. Each offense was dealt with swiftly and harshly, the belt Mr. Crenshaw used leaving long red welts against his son’s skin. His mother and father stayed in their loveless marriage for eight years, during which time Sebastian tried desperately to please his father, scoring an A on every test and assignment in school, and even going so far as to forgo meals in his attempts to earn the man’s praise. It was all to no avail and as each perfect test he brought home was crumpled up and thrown away, a deep, festering anger the little boy could not understand started to fill him. He started to act out in school, threatening smaller students than himself with bodily harm and starting small fires in the classroom trash cans. Finally, as she watched the changes in her beloved son’s behavior, Mrs. Crenshaw  had decided she’d had enough of her husband’s vile behavior and left him, taking the only thing that mattered, her son, with her as she fled.

The few years following the split between his mother and father was a calm period for Sebastian. His transgression’s and anger faded into the background as he continued to excel in school. Still fascinated with fire, the adolescent took an interest in chemistry.  Often he was left home alone to his own devices, as his mother was forced to take on a second job just to make ends meet. This led to an early discovery of sex and by the time he was 12 he had already lost his virginity. Sex became an outlet for all his pent up frustration and lingering anger. He was tall for his age, and in a fit condition due to his constant running from the bullies who picked on him for being ‘too smart’ or ‘the teacher’s pet’, which allowed him to pick up girls as much as four years his senior. Everything was going reasonably well, at least as well to be expected for a boy his age who had suffered through what he had, until his mother fell ill when he was only 15. It was early onset dementia, they were told nothing could be done, but that disease could be managed, its progress slowed with the use of medication. The medication was too much for his mother to afford on her own, all seemed lost. He did the only thing he could think of, the only course of action that could help make his mother’s ultimate descent into pain more manageable; he reached out to his estranged father. Sebastian knew through his mother that Mr. Crenshaw had remarried soon after the divorce was finalized, and to a woman with more wealth than Sebastian could even begin to understand. His expectation that his father might have changed, grown into a better man, spurred him on and he made the call. Whatever he was expecting, it was not the ultimatum his father had delivered. I’ll take care of that worthless mother of yours, so long as you come and live with me and my new wife and her children. I’ve told her we still communicate and it’s starting to look suspicious that I’ve never brought you home. Sebastian roared a glorifying, “Fuck you!” Before slamming the phone back into its receiver. A rage so dark it terrified him began to boil in his blood, shooting aggravated neurons through his spinal column and into his brain. Without thinking, he traveled to an abandoned building, chemicals from his high school and matches in his bag. The fire felt cleansing. Cleared his mind and revealed to him the only path that made sense. He would help his mother.

From that day forward he worked two jobs while also struggling to finish school. In the early hours of morning and late hours of the evening he worked at a local supermarket stocking shelves. The owner had taken pity on him, paying him almost double what the other boys were making, but it still wasn’t enough. It allowed him to keep the roof over his and his mothers heads, but it was not enough to get her the help that she needed. Desperate, he turned to a local criminal organization. His adeptness with fire kept him around and he was paid to clear out crime scenes and keep his mouth shut. Sebastian was also taught for the first time how to defend himself. That part may have been a mistake, for as his anger grew and festered, he began to use his talents to get revenge those who had wronged him. It did not matter if the person had merely bumped into him on accident or if they had thrown the first punch, he treated them all the same. His fascination with fire was something that he could not explain and as his mother’s dementia progressed in its ferocity, he began to grow more attached to it. The warm lick of the flames felt comforting and watching the thickened smoke billow into the air felt as though his worries were being set free. His relationship with the flame became loving. Sometimes in his worst moments of despair he would even burn himself. 

Finally, after what seemed like a life-time of work, Sebastian graduated high-school, with honors and the position of Valedictorian. It was a momentous event, yet one his mother could not be there for as he feared losing her in the crowd. The one bright side was that he had been offered a full-ride scholarship to the local college in their advanced pre-med program. It was something he was grateful for as it provided him with on campus housing, meaning that all the money he made could go to his mother’s care in the new facility he planned to set her up in, no longer able to meet the needs of her full time care. His first year of college went well, until the spring of 2005. Sebastian’s mother finally slipped from his grasp, so sick she could not even remember her sons face, though she never in all her confusion, forgot his name. The loss tore through him so viciously that he attacked the doctor attending, nearly ending the man's own life in the process. Hours later, after sitting in the holding cell of the city police station, Sebastian was released; the doctor was refusing to press charges, stating he knew how loss had the ability to awaken the darkest creatures inside of them all. Overcome with rage and anger and nowhere to put it, Sebastian became reckless. He started sleeping with as many men and women as he could, using their bodies for his own pleasure before tossing them aside, tired and spent. The unlucky ones who were able to quell that rage often woke up to find their homes engulfed in flames. It was the beginning of a pattern that would take hold of his entire life when it came to relationships, including the one he held with fire. Exactly a week after his mother’s passing, a small funeral service was held, with the only people in attendance being himself and the priest. He had just finished laying a bouquet of beautifully colored roses on his mother’s grave when a vaguely familiar voice called out to him. It was his father, on the arm of his second wife, dressed in a suit of charcoal gray, as if he did not even have the decency to pay proper mourning respect to his deceased ex-wife. Seeing red, he charged at the man he held personally responsible for his mother’s untimely death. It was said by the doctors that her disease had been onset so early in life through repeated concussions and beatings to the head, and Sebastian knew just who was to blame for that. He launched himself at the man, viciously screaming, kicking, biting. Doing anything he could to inflict even an iota of damage onto the man who had ruined his life. Once the rage in his blood cooled and he stopped to take a breath, his father appealed himself to his only true born son. He gave Sebastian the address to his posh house on the hill, stating he could come by anytime to talk if he so chose. Without responding, Sebastian walked away.

The open wound left from his father gaped wider and wider as the weeks passed on, father’s day,, a month after his mother’s death, he truly lost it. Voices in his head were speaking to him, each drowning out the other in their quest for revenge and all he wanted them to do was stop. All he wanted was for the pain in his chest to melt away, for the pounding ache of his head to fade away. The voices speaking to him seemed to take on a mind of their own as they screamed out for revenge. It seemed that in almost the blink of an eye, he had arrived at his father’s remote location house, his feet carrying him against his will up the long winding pathway, hands knocking on the door without his consent. When the door opened, the screaming of voices reached a symphonic uproar, their clamoring cacophony blinding him at last. When he next awoke from the fever-pitch, blood coated his hands and clothing, the sticky half-dry substance pulling at the hair of his arm. Pressing a hand to his head, his eyes blinked slowly open to take in the carnage around him. His father lay dead beside him, his eyes and heart carved out, because he could not see, and did not care about the damage he had done to his son. In the doorway leading to the next room lay his father’s second wife. Hues of dark bruises in the shapes of fingertips fleshed against her alabaster skin. Her death had been a mere necessity, he had needed to go through her to get to the true target of his rage. For a few intense moments Sebastian struggled to comprehend the sight before him, until his swollen mind kicked into overdrive. He couldn’t go to jail, he had a life to get on with, he had to help the people like his mother. Sebastian turned to his oldest friend, the flame, to save his life.. Thunder rolled over head, the sound booming through the eerily quiet house. Too scared to do anything more, Sebastian turned tail and ran naked to his car. Before the key could turn into the ignition, a resounding crack sounded as thin veil of lightning struck the weathervane sitting atop the house. Within seconds, the roof was engulfed in flames, the image lighting up his rearview mirror as he sped away from the atrocity he had committed. For the first month after the incident he was jumpy; every sound making him whip around, his eyes ticking and twitching from severe lack of sleep. The news of the Crenshaw’s death appeared two days after the murder when their kids came home to find the house burnt to the ground. Investigators suspected foul play, as the charred bodies left behind had not breathed in any carbon monoxide from the fire, the fire that had destroyed any and all evidence pertaining to who might have killed those two nice people. The firefighters were adamant it was onset by the strike of lightning, and the case began sliding further and further back as new, fresher cases began to take precedence. Eventually, the file was set back to rest with all those of the other unsolved murders that had come before it.

Since that night, Sebastian has never again heard those voices, though the demons of his past echoed through his mind; leaving him even more prone to physical violence than he was before. He graduated college top of his class and went on to study neuroscience, using his knowledge and skills to help those like his mother. He even entered into a relationship with a nice man, someone whom he cared deeply for. Unfortunately, it was not a healthy one, as the stress and wear of his demanding job often caused Sebastian to lash out at his partner both physically and mentally. It felt like everyday he had to come up with new and more grand gestures of apology, just to keep him around. Until after one particularly bad day. He snapped, beating his partner to within an inch of his life, telling him gruffly that he had already killed two people, and wouldn’t hesitate to make him number three. Then he left. He quit his job at the hospital, changing his phone number and email, leaving no forwarding address. Enough money was sent to a lawyer from the money his father had left that Sebastian hadn’t had to deal with the messy cleanup of the incident or questions from suspicious cops. That was how he ended up in New York at age twenty-seven. He took up position as a resident at a well-known hospital and continued his extra-curricular hobby of setting things on fire. 

On one such occasion he was particularly unlucky and was caught. After eight years in prison Sebastian is finally back out on the street and will forever owe the man who gave him a second chance as a family. He had heard of Sebastian’s work and recruited him as a cleaner. Both Sebastian’s medical background and handiness with fire worked well for the criminal organization that Sebastian would later learn was the syndicate. A new name was also gifted to him. One that allowed him to get work as an EMT, another thing that comes in handy when it comes to cleanup. He has more than a few murders under his belt now, because if there is one thing he is as a man it’s loyal. The Syndicate have become his second family and he would lay down his life for them if need be. Thankfully all that has been needed so far is to continue cleaning up other people’s messes.

[pennyduckton]

⧙ TERESA PALMER, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER︔ is that PENNY DUCKTON I see on Main Street? The 34 year old WITCH has been on the island for 4 MONTHS, humming the song BELIEVE IN LOVE by MARINA. They remind me of LOW GLOWING NEON LIGHTS OF A DEAD BAR, LONG BLONDE TRESSES BLOWING IN THE SALTY OCEAN WINDS, A TINY FLICKERING CANDLE IN A SEA OF DARKNESS.

quick facts.

FULL NAME: Penny Jasmine Duckton

NICKNAMES: Pen

SPECIES: Witch (she doesn't know)

AGE: thirty-four

BIRTHDAY: 15th July

GENDER & PRONOUNS: cisfemale & sher/her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual

FAMILY: Mother (Deceased), Father (Unknown), Son (put up for adoption at birth)

RELATIONSHIPS STATUS: single

FACECLAIM: Teresa Palmer

HAIR: Long blonde hair past shoulders, usually in a messy pony, very rarely down

EYES: Sapphire blue - a lot of people comment how blue they are.

TRAITS: sarcastic, honest, loyal, funny, fearful, hot-headed, snarky

OCCUPATION: Bartender on Main Street / Training Therapist

bio.

Penny Jasmine Duckton was born in London - this time.

You know some people say they've lived before...well that is precisely the case with Penny. Centuries ago, in her first life, she was known as Elizabeth. She'd fled from an arranged marriage, her father wanted her to boost the family's standing so instead of getting trapped in a loveless marriage - she took to the seas and became pirate.

On her journey she met a man with whom she fell in love with at first sight. It wasn't too long before she discovered that he was a creature of the night, and the whole world of supernaturals was opened up to her.

Despite her asking, he refused to turn her into a vampire - and then it was too later, she was shot in a battle, dying in his arms.

Unfortunately, a witch who had a grudge against the vampire cursed the woman to be reborn every other generation, a doppleganger of sorts. They would always find eachother, and she would always end up dying in his arms. A cursed, eternal love.

Penny (as she is known in this life) has moved to Bar Harbor in the hopes of escaping her past.

When she was barely 18, studying in London, she met a slightly older man. He was a doctor, and she was absolutely swept off her feet with him. They were quick to marry, and before long she fell pregnant.

All seemed perfect, but one night Penny returned home to find the apartment soaked in blood, her husband's body was nowhere to be found. The missing's person case was never solved, and she fell deep into a depression. When her son was born, she couldn't cope with it. Although this angelic, beautiful baby was the only thing she had left of her husband, she couldn't bring herself to look upon his face. Her son's eyes were his eyes and it broke her heart every time she looked into them. And so she gave him away.

The guilt has been plagueing her for years, but even still she got on with her life.

She's always been slightly odd, running on a slightly different wavelength to everyone around her, dreams of things that would eventually come to pass...

About a year ago, she began to have dreams of a strange man, and a place...Bar Harbor...and she was shocked to discover, after a quick google search, that it was a real place. The dreams haunted her for months before she decided to take an extended trip... Now that she's arrived, she's unsure what the dreams were telling her...but she is soon to discover a power within - and a lover from the past - that she had no idea about.

undeveloped connections.

I would loooove for someone to help her realise she's a witch and help teach her the ways of magic.