#penis buster

[the-corn-colonel]

TUMBLR BLOG FORBIDDEN ART:

CATACLYSM SERIES

PENIS BUSTER!!!

[cuckedbyannak]

Valid question. Most boys do not willingly lock themselves away with a beautiful jeweled butt plug stretching you open

[crimson--phantom]

penis

Is it real? We just don't know. Join us today on Myth Busters where on today's episode we will

[thisangstriddenschoollifetragedy]

Do you think Discord designed his costume?

[theunavailablepenis]

turbo finds a kid, goes to penis for help, and they bond while making the kid a new room :)

[kerwinthefrog]

The Boys Incorrect Quotes #5

Maeve: “You’re voice is very high-pitched. Almost like it’s fake.”

Hughie: “I HAVE A HEAD COLD.”

---

Frenchie: (even more obnoxious French accent) “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE WEDDING PERSON! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE WEDDING PERSON!”

---

Stormfront: “They should reflect on that. That was embarrassing.”

---

Homelander: “Just keep making promises, you don’t have to keep them! Marriage is all about breaking things!”

---

Deep: “I’m sorry my feet need to express themselves!”

---

Homelander: “Will you…”

Starlight: (quietly) “No…”

Homelander: “Marry me…”

Starlighter: (quietly) “No…”

Homelander: “Pleeease???”

Starlighter: (slowly closes ring box) “No.”

---

Deep: (to Sage) “YOU ARE A FINE SPECIMEN!”

---

Homelander: “Go to your room! It’s bedtime!”

Ryan: “I’m going to my house.”

---

MM: “No shit you’re not beating the insomnia allegations. Mf 1am.”

---

Frenchie: “I’m going to go back to poking my fluid.”

Hughie: “THAT WILL MAKE IR WORS”

---

Deep: “Yes I am birthing rn. I’m in labor chat hang on. Oh my God it’s Shadow the Hedgehog.”

---

Homelander: “Cock and ball torture.”

Noir: “WOAH THERE BUSTER.”

---

Butcher: “Goodnight chatthew.”

Kimiko: “no”

Butcher: “I’m going to touch you.”

---

Deep: “And I was like… someone's birthday is soon, I feel it in my cunt. And I somehow assumed–”

Starlight: “WHAT.”

Deep: “It was you and NOT ME–”

Starlight: “IN YOUR WHAT.”

Deep: “Pussy feels, ya’know. I felt it.”

Starlight: “I–”

Deep: “Not like in a weird way.”

Starlight: “YOU–”

Deep: “I felt it deep within me.”

Starlight: “WHAT???”

---

MM: “I can summon him.”

MM: “PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS DICK DICK BALLS PENIS PENIS PENIS.”

Butcher: (appearing out of nowhere) “Penis?”

MM: “GOT HIM.”

---

Firecracker: “I’m in your dad’s DMs.”

Ryan: “Well you need to get out.”

[rottenpumpkin13]

SOLDIER Fanclubs Conspiracy Theories

A compilation of speculation and murmur amongst the Silver Elite, Keepers of Honor and Red Leather.

Sephiroth wears a wig

Genesis can't read and has just memorized LOVELESS to make people think he can

Angeal has been arrested twice before

Sephiroth is an android

Genesis has gotten three separate women pregnant, one of which was Sephiroth

Angeal can't actually lift his buster sword

Genesis definitely does drag in his off time

Sephiroth and Genesis are secretly married

Zack Fair is Angeal's child

Sephiroth can barely read too. That's why he points and mouths at whatever he's reading

Genesis is deathly afraid of squirrels

Angeal and Sephiroth accidentally burned Genesis's first copy of LOVELESS and replaced it

Sephiroth doesn't exist

Genesis is secretly plotting to place hair-removal in Sephiroth's shampoo

Angeal has had penis reduction surgery

Sephiroth is addicted to spaghetti and meatballs

Genesis isn't a natural redhead

Angeal's facial hair is sprayed on

Genesis has been to therapy for his LOVELESS addiction

Sephiroth is part cat and turns into a cat every full moon

Angeal swears A LOT

Genesis puts dumbapples in everything literally EVERYTHING

Sephiroth's breath smells like disinfectant

Genesis is colorblind and can only see red, that's why it's the only color he wears

Angeal has caused multiple insect infestations in the ShinRa tower due to his plants

Angeal has a pet snake named Genesisssss

"Sephiroth" is an alias and his real name is Anthony

Angeal has multiple secret tattoos, one of which is "certified DILF" on his back

Genesis lies about his age and he's actually younger than the other two

Genesis has an evil twin named Revelation

Angeal gets paid by ShinRa to put up with Sephiroth and Genesis

Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth are actually married and have adopted Zack and Cloud as their kids

Genesis plans on sacrificing his friends to the goddess to obtain the gift

Sephiroth will eventually turn evil

Cloud Strife is from the future

Sephiroth can't swim

[ramp-it-up]

QT PIE

Pairing: Jake Jensen x Reader

Word Count: around 1K

Warnings: 18+ As always, MINORS DNI, Not Beta’d. All mistakes my own. Valentine surprises, allusions to face sitting, use of restraints, nipple play (m receiving) handjob, cum play, dirty talk, praise kink, begging, oral (f receiving) Daddy kink, breeding kink, hair pulling kink.

A/N: Based on this ask. Answering these out of order. Based on my Candy Hearts Valentine Prompt List found Here. Hope it’s okay @thornsnvultures! 💕

I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post.

I Do NOT consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

When Jake pulled a five carat emerald ring out of his pocket in the ball pit of Dave and Buster’s, and the entire place erupted into cheers and applause, and your family came out of hiding when you accepted his proposal.

You just handed Jake a bag of candy hearts and his eyes lit up.

“How did you get these? They don’t make these anymore!”

“I had them specially made. Go ahead, open them!”

You were excited to see his face.

Jake played along, telling you how they were made and the history of the sugary candy. He took a handful and his eyebrow raised when he saw messages written on the hearts.

“There only seems to be five variations of these.”

“Hmmm. That’s interesting…”

You grinned at him.

Jake gave you a look, and then moved to lay them down on a table. He quickly arranged them, cocked his head and gasped, looking up at you.

You nodded, then grinned.

“What does it say?”

Jake looked down and read the messages spread across the hearts out loud.

I ♥️ U

BE MINE

N 9 MOS TIME

U + ME +

QT PIE

“Angel Baby. You’re having…..A baby!”

“No Jake. WE’RE having a baby!”

More cheers and applause as Jake picked you up and twirled you around.

“Jake! Stoppp! I’m gonna…”

You pounded his strong shoulders as you felt your stomach start to turn.

“Oh, sorry Angel. You okay?”

You looked up into Jake’s face.

“I hope it’s a little girl. A mini you, Angel Baby.

“And I don’t care, boy or girl. I just hope they look like you, Jake. Cause you’re my cutie pie.”

Jake kissed you again.

“You won the night Angel.”

You grinned again.

“I like the sound of that!”

You secured Jake’s hands and feet with your improved electronic cuffs to the bed posts, which he’d reinforced since you two had broken it three times.

“Your body is so beautiful Jakey. My baby daddy is so fucking finee.”

You rubbed your palms against his nipples and hairless chest. You loved that Jake waxed everywhere except for that patch of hair above his penis. You liked to nestle your nose in the scent that got captured there. It got you off something fierce.

“No, you’re so fucking beautiful, Angel Baby. Please, please sit on my face and suck my cock. Or better yet, sit on my cock and let me suck your tits. They’re so big and soft. Oh, I can’t decide…and I can’t think when you do that.”

Jake was whining the more you rubbed his nipples. You eased your palm across him, slowing down as you passed over his sensitive nubs.

“Mmmmmm. Am I making you dumb, Jakey? But you’re so smart. I knew you liked nipple play, just never noticed how much you liked me to play with you.”

You lay beside him and bit down on Jake’s nipple as you watched his cock jump and drizzle pre cum.

“That’s so fucking sexy, Jakey. Can I jack you off?”

You asked, and then looked at him as you stuck your tongue out and traced his tight pink areola. Jake looked down at you and then squirmed.

“Yes, Please, ohmygod,” he replied, and then immediately opened his mouth and panted and whined as you slowly trailed your hand down his body while continuing to bite, suck, and lap at his nipples.

You cupped his already tight balls, weighing them and rolling before you slid your hand up and tightly gripped his thick penis, as much as his girth would allow.

“So thick Jakey. I love it when you stretch me out.”

“I… I l-l-l ove it too Angel Baby. That fat little pussy is always so tight around… m-me. And that ass. Shit ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhhhhhngh.”

The fact that you had him stuttering and moaning was very motivating as you gave him a slick and thorough handjob, the lube from the bedside table causing his hot pink tipped dick to slide easily in your palm.

You looked up again and Jake’s mouth was open, as if he was doing all he could to keep breathing. He struggled to speak.

“You’re doing so well. J-justtt like….”

You started sucking one nipple while you twisted another, almost contorting yourself to continue stroking his dick. You did pull off with a pop for a few to offer a lewd suggestion.

“You gonna shoot this beautiful cock off for me Jakey? I’ll aim it up here so it lands in this direction. All over your chest. I’ll make sure you're good and clean.”

Jake’s eyes were scrunched closed, your dirty talk spurring him on.

“Oh shit, Angel Babyyy. Yeah, just like… thattttt!. PLEASEEEEE! Fuckkkkkkk!”

His gutteral sounds got you wetter than a river, and you could feel your clit pulsing as you sucked Jake’s nipple and felt his projectile spend start to spurt. You pulled off to aim his cock at his chest and to start to finger your clit.

“Nnnnoooooo!”

Jake protested, both at the force of his ejaculation, and at the fact that you were touching yourself.

“No fair!”

“Fucking hot Jake, I can’t take it anymore.”

You heard an electronic beep as Jake pressed a button and released his own binds. That was one improvement he’d implemented. You were more than cool with it.

“All bets are off Angel Baby…. Fuck…hnnnnnh! You got me dizzy.”

Jake grunted and sat up as you sucked him clean, chuckling at the way you had him lightheaded. He watched as you cleaned his cum off of his chest with your wide flattened tongue. You had his dick jumping again.

He grabbed your hand and threw it away from your body, then pushed you down on the bed head first as he lifted your ass in the air.

“Now be careful, mama. Make sure you can breathe. Cause I’m about to eat this shit until my refractory period is over. Then you’re gonna get this peen-us between us. If I could get you pregnant again tonight I would, Angel. So fucking hot.”

You turned your head to the side and replied.

“You’re so fucking corny baby…but so cute… ahhhhh!”

You pulled his hair and convulsed as Jake started sucking your clit.

“So so sooooo fucking good Jakey… I love you.”

Jake pulled off your clit with a pop.

“I love you too, Mama.”

Jake grabbed your hand and guided it toward his head.

“Now pull my hair again while I make you cum.”

“A-anything you want, Jakey! Oh Daddy!”

Jake came up for air one more time.

“Damn straight I’m Daddy! And don’t you forget it.”

Jake slapped your ass and went back to his fine dining.

[vulnonapix1234]

Pirate au lineup!

Or: my one piece brainrot is strong

More infos and a better picture under the cut

1) Captain Hobie Brown, or the man that spit a celestial dragon in the Face.

Who decides about the worth of a human?

Once a slave, Hobie is planning on the downfall of the world ordet and the celestial dragons. Despite his looks, he is an extremely intelligent and kindhearted individual.

2) Vice Captain Gwen Stacy, or the Woman with the body of snow

Who decides your fate?

The user of the snow-snow Fruit wasn't always a Pirate. Once, she was the loved son of a Marine Captain, before she took Hobies hand to change herself and the fate her father picked for her. Together with her crew, she became what she always wanted to be.

3. The Navigator Pavitr Prabhakar, or the prince of a lost country

Who decides to who lives and who dies?

A long time ago, he was the prince next in line to become the ruler of an entire country. Then, the world government made his home, his family, his people, his land and its history dissappear. As the sole survivor of a Buster call, he works together with his crew to take revenge.

4. The Medic Miles Morales, or the Traitor

Who decides who the hero is?

After the Marineford War, the former Marine Captain all but ran from the eyes of the seagull. The slaughter of his allys and enemies wasn't good or justified. he couldn't bear to work under the people that allowed such a carnage. As the user of the draw-draw fruit, he wishes to create a world where his crew and family can live in peace.

5. The Shipwright Peni Parker, or the steel Monster

What is the difference between human and weapon?

As user of the mecha-mecha fruit, Peni once had the ability to create and bring life to small robots. But then she lost her first creation, leading her to lose most of her abilities. That was till her crew found her and helped her reignite the spark in herself.

6) The Chronicler Margo Kess, or the woman that knows all

Who writes history ?

The search for the truth was always important for her. With the power of the word-word fruit, Margo could easily translate every script she came across. Together with her crew, she wants to uncover the history that is hidden or lost.

[griled-chese]

accidentally dropping my exact 1:1 replica of the buster sword on my penis and it flattens it into an exact 1:100 replica of the buster sword

[grey-sides]

not a messiah, maybe a mess

Finished S3 of Righteous Gemstones. Love these two to death.

Kelvin squints at Keefe, making a cup of coffee across the kitchen. Keefe’s almost without vices now, not that Kelvin would count caffeine a vice. He likes a vanilla latte with extra froth every morning himself.

“Do you need your glasses?” Keefe asks, already looking around himself. Kelvin doesn’t even have prescriptions in them.

“No, I was just thinking,” Kelvin replies. He tries to fix his face, but he can’t stop the pucker between his brows.

Keefe slowly drags his coffee up to his lips and takes a sip. He blinks while Kelvin continues to stare and looks down at himself.

He’s wearing a crop top, a t-shirt Kelvin gave him that he cut the bottom off. But he doesn’t have a stain or anything odd on his being.

“Kelvin, are you alright, brother?” Keefe asks, putting his coffee down. He reaches out to touch Kelvin’s hand. “Do you need a massage?”

Kelvin shakes his head and the wrinkle smooths as he looks down at their hands. He smiles a bit, though his nose wrinkles when he looks back at Keefe. “We should stop calling each other brother.”

“That’s going to be difficult. But I will endeavor to stop,” Keefe promises. He nods once, solemnly.

“I- why do people go to sex shops?” Kelvin asks because there’s no delicate way of asking. And he doesn’t like being delicate anyway.

Keefe looks confused, shaking his head. “I thought we were done with Smut Busters.”

“We are,” Kelvin corrects. “Sure as shit are. But people go there and I don’t know if it’s only because of Satan.”

“I don’t follow what you mean.” Keefe sits down, perches really, on a stool beside Kelvin. He takes another careful sip of coffee.

Kelvin sets his jaw, irritated with himself. He taps his fingers down on the counter a few times, the wrinkle reappears between his brows.

“Kelvin?”

Kelvin sighs and looks at Keefe. He smiles, leans in a little so their bare arms can touch.

“I never wanted…sex or any of that bodily pleasure before,” Kelvin explains.

Keefe’s mouth is open a little and he smiles halfway. He chuckles a little and looks down. “It’s not always all that it’s cracked up to be, br-lover.”

Kelvin giggles and jiggles Keefe’s nearest titty meat. He needles him for a moment before looking away.

“I wonder about it now, however. About…the earthly delights He gives us,” Kelvin admits.

Is it a sin? He knows Judy had premarital sex with BJ. And Jesse probably did with Amber too. Some members of the church think that Kelvin just wanting Keefe is a sin, so is having sex with him a double sin or do they cancel each other out?

He frowns and his head starts to hurt. He sighs deeply, a groan following the end of it.

“A massage?” Keefe ventures slowly.

“No, Keefe. Sex.”

Keefe nods, staring at the side of Kelvin’s head. He takes another sip of coffee and clears his throat. “It is an earthly pleasure, yes.”

“You’ve had sex before,” Kelvin deduces. “You touch dicks with a guy?”

“More than…touching, as such. I have touched and been touched and have done other sexual things with my- my penis.” Keefe puts down his coffee cup and lays his hands flat on the table.

They’re a little rougher now because he works with wood. Kelvin licks to feel it against his bare skin, especially along his back and glutes where no one else ever touches him.

Kelvin feels, for not the first time, but one of the few times, wholly inadequate in front of Keefe. Keefe has had sex with multiple people, multiple times. And Kelvin has only recently begun to understand the desire to kiss someone.

“You can speak to me about what’s on your mind,” Keefe offers. His eyes are wide and earnest.

Kelvin doesn’t know what to say. He feels like Judy throwing him in front of the congregation to make up something to say. There’s not even a chant coming to mind.

“I know I am the guide and you have followed me, though we are equal now,” Kelvin says slowly. “But perhaps, in this, these…pleasures, you could guide me?”

Keefe blinks in that slow way of his, his smile slowly growing. He nods again and squeezes Kelvin’s knee. “I would be honored.”

“It’s not an honor!” Kelvin groans, dramatic. “It’s good for you too! It has to be!”

“And it will be,” Keefe confirms solemnly. “Knowing I may help you is good for me.”

Kelvin purses his lips, a small pout on his face. He takes Keefe’s hand, suddenly softer than he usually is. Less brash and hot headed. More willing to sit and share in this moment, like a special prayer before bed.

Keefe leans in to kiss the side of Kelvin’s head. Chaste and sweet, but it lets Kelvin close his eyes.

“I will be your shepherd,” Keefe murmurs. “We will explore various sexual positions and things you like and I like, together.”

Kelvin sighs, dropping his head to Keefe’s shoulder. He closes his eyes and nuzzles into his warm skin.

“I know I like to go full steam ahead, total Redeemer on everything, but I wanna go slow with this,” Kelvin admits.

Keefe pushes in close to Kelvin, rests his cheek against the top of his head, totally crushing his mohawk. It’s fine, Keefe will help him reset it before they have to be seen by the public. Or Judy.

“As slow as you want, Kelvin,” Keefe promises. “Like when you got me to do my first handstand on the trampoline.”

Kelvin smiles, remembering it fondly. He’s glad he’s convinced Keefe to stay. And somehow, grateful for BJ to have encouraged them back together.

He sits up, gently so Keefe has time to sit up too. Kelvin smiles and leans in, cradling Keefe’s cheek like he did the first time to meet him in a kiss.

It’s enough to make something stir in his body, but not enough to act on it yet. There’s still fear there, a shake to his hands.

Keefe catches his hand and squeezes it. Gentles Keefe and anchors him to the ground. He spies their chairs when he pulls back to smile at Keefe.

And, well, maybe Keefe will show him what sorts of positions they can get up to on the chairs.

[cuckedbyannak]

There’s a reason her smile is so big

[steamanband]

Beciles on the mind Buster they COULD make me hate you. Take this man to the penis explosion chamber and have his penis EXPLODED

[indigosabyss]

Canon Event Maintenance: A Gwenpool in BTSV fic

Gwen Stacy stared at the small group they had managed to amass. Compared to the hundreds of Spider-People Miguel had on his side, they weren't much, but they had potential.

"Okay, first thing we need is resources and allies." She announced, "We don't want to bring in anyone who doesn't know about the multiverse, or get them involved if you don't think they should, but if there's anyone you know who might lend us a hand, please get us in contact with them."

There was silence as all the Spiders thought this over. Because of course none of them had a solid support network. They were Spiders. Maybe Miguel was right about all that canon event stuff, even if the murder was unjustified.

It was Peter B who raised his hand, looking incredibly reluctant.

"I think I know a gal." He admitted, face twisted into a grimace, "And she would be really eager to join in on this."

"...Okay, so why's your face doing that thing?" Pavitr asked.

"Yeah! What's the catch, buster?" Spider-Ham cocked his head.

"There's nothing wrong with her! She's a wonderful kid. Just... well, you'll understand when you meet her."

In dimension 616-B, the Spider-Band stood at the top of a skyscraper, looking at the cars milling down below. Not a single building was close enough to parkour jump from, so how this mystery person was supposed to get there... Peni didn't know.

And another thing. Peter was being very evasive about the details. They didn't even know her name! But he promised that she was trustworthy, and the entire band had to take him at his word.

"Where even is she, mate?" Hobie asked, looking around impatiently, "We're nearing the agreed time, and there's no sign of her."

"Give it a sec." Peter shook his head, rocking Mayday a little in her sleep. Then, he took a slow, deliberate step to the right, just as a white hole ripped into the air above him and a figure dropped down. She was a white girl, wearing a pink civilian hoodie with a baseball hat under the hood. Her eyes were obscured by purple sunglasses that didn't seem to match her style, and had one hand shoved into the pocket of her shorts. The other one was lazily holding a unsheathed katana, with a pink handle.

Before anyone could comment, she was already talking, "Hey, Peter, what's the sitch that got you to finally call me up for a teamup? I---" She froze, finally noticing the other extradimensional spider-people all standing there. Peni had the dreadful realization that Peter had not told her anything about the spider-verse when calling her.

And then an excited grin stretched over her face.

"Oh. My. Marvel. Gods." She pulled off the sunglasses to reveal blue eyes, throwing them to the side, where they got swallowed up by another white rip in reality as if it was a normal occurrence, "This is a Spider-Verse event."

What? How'd she known that? Everyone exchanged discomfited glances, except Peter, who nodded gratefully, "Oh, good, so you're already filled in and everything. I was hoping you would be."

"Uh? Duh." The strange girl rolled her eyes, hopping excitedly in place, "Wow. Wow. I'm important enough to be in a Spider-Verse event. Except... damn, this is just a fic, so does it really count?"

Pavitr was making chopping motions, trying to get them to quit the meeting. Peni had similar doubts. Who was this girl? And how much could she really help?

"I'm getting ahead of myself!" She laughed, "Let's start from the beginning. One last time." Another giggle as she took a quick step back and... vanished? For barely a millisecond, and it was only SP//DR's keen sight which told her that, because then she was back, dressed in a pink and white battle-grade leotard, with leather pouches and guns strapped all over her. There was a mask, but it was clutched in her hand, allowing them to see shoulder-length blond hair tipped with pink that, combined with her skin tone and blue eyes and overall color pallette made her look a lot like... Gwen.

Everyone's eyes drifted to the woman in question, and Peni knew they were all thinking the same thing. Peter's contact took a sweeping bow, "Hello, then! My name's Gwen Poole! I can manipulate reality as well as the Scarlet Witch can!"

Huh. Well, okay then.

----

Author's Notes:

Might do a part two if you guys enjoy. Seen a lot of people thinking about a Gwenpool in the Spider-Verse movies cameo, but not enough fics to solve that problem. By which I mean any. I haven't seen any fics. Pls tag me if theres a tumblr fic like this. Characterization is a little off bc Gwen P. is too excited to think straight. Her media awareness and the mechanics of it will be built up further, but lets just say she knows she's in a fic, but not in which fandom its for, so reacting to it like a comic teamup.

Also. Those were indeed Kate's sunglasses she was wearing.

[conarcoin]

Giggeli - Penis Candles & Soaps Handmade in Kallio, Helsinki, Finland

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+800 Nicknames for Penis: A Comprehensive List for Different Ways to Call a Penis

+800 Nicknames for Penis: A Comprehensive List for Different Ways to Call a Penis

GIGGELI

Dicks can be referred to in a variety of ways. A collection of more than 800 additional words for the penis in alphabetical order is provided in this article. This list includes both common slang terminology and more uncommon and obscure words that are all related to the penis.

+800 Different Words for Penis: A Comprehensive List

Anaconda

Antenna

Appendage

Armadillo

Arrow

Baby maker

Baguette

Bald Avenger

Bald-headed giggle stick

Bally Wacker

Banana

Banger

Baseball bat

Baton

Bayonet

Beast

Beef bayonet

Beef whistle

Bellend

Big boy

Big guy

Biscuit

Bishop

Black mamba

Blastocyst

Blood sausage

Blue-veined custard chucker

Blue-veined junket pumper

Boaby

Bobbin

Bollocks

Bologna pony

Bolt

Bone

Boner

Booboo

Boom stick

Boot

Bopper

Botswana beef bayonet

Bouncer

Bouncing Betty

Braciole

Brain

Branch

Bratwurst

Broccoli

Broccoli spear

Brown trout

Brownie

Brutus and the Twins

Bubble

Bubble gum machine

Buckaroo

Buckwheat

Buddah's belly button

Buffalo soldier

Bulge

Bull

Bull's-eye

Bully beef

Bully stick

Bum tickler

Bumper

Burrito

Buster

Butt dart

Butterbean

Button

Caber

Cabeza

Cactus

Cadbury's c

Cajones

Camel toe

Cane

Cannoli

Captain winky

Capuchin

Carrot

Cervix sentinel

Chameleon

Champignon

Cheese log

Cheesestick

Chef's special

Cherub

Chicken

Chico stick

Choad

Chode

Chopper

Chowder

Christmas goose

Chub

Chubby

Chuck Dickens

Cigar

Cinnamon roll

Clam

Classic

Clit stick

Cloak

Clock

Club

Cobra

Cock

Cod

Colossus

Commander

Cone

Conga

Conquistador

Consolation prize

Cookie

Corkscrew

Corn dog

Cornholio

Cornish game hen

Corporal

Cossack

Cougar bait

Coxcomb

Crank

Crankshaft

Creamer

Crimper

Crimson mushroom

Crinkle-cut

Crown jewels

Crunchwrap

Crème de la crème

Cucumber

Cummerbund

Custard launcher

Cylinder

D's

Dagger

Dallas Dangler

Danger noodle

Darth Vader

Deep sea diver

Dick

Dickas Hilton

Ding dong

Ding-dong

Dingaling

Dipstick

Disco stick

Dismount

Divining rod

DJ

Dog

Doggy

Dolly

Dong

Donkey

Doorknob

Dope stick

Dork

Dormouse

Double barrel

Double dragon

Downstairs department

Drainpipe

Driller

Drumstick

Dude piston

Dumb stick

Dutch courage

Dutch rudder

Excalibur

Firehose

Franks and beans

Gerald

Gherkin

Giggeli

Goldfinger

Groin

Hammer

hammer of love

Hammer of Thor

handle

hard drive

Hard-on

hardware

hatchet wound

he-man

heat-seeking missile

heat-seeking moisture missile

helmet

herbie

Hercules

high hard one

hoo-ha

hoo-hoo

hook

horn

Hose

hose

hot dog

hot rod

hot sausage

Humphrey

hymie

iceberg

Indiana Bones

Jack in the box

Jack's magic beanstalk

Jackhammer

jammy

janitor in the hallway

java

javelin

jawbreaker

Jedi

Jefferson

jelly doughnut

Jenny Craig

Jerry

jiffy stick

Jimmy

Jizz Launcher

John Henry

John Johnson

Johnson

Jorma

Joy-stick

Joystick

joystick

Judge

Juicy fruit

jumbo

Jumper

Junior

Junk

junk

justin

Justus

Kaiser

kebab

Keck

Kennedy

kielbasa

King Ding Dong

King Kong

King Richard

King size

King snake

King's scepter

King's sword

Kipper

Kitty

Knob

Knobgoblin

Knobhead

Knobkerrie

Knobstick

Kraken

Krull the Warrior King

Kulli

Kyrpä

L'Engin

L'Outil

L'Unita

Lady-pleaser

Laidy's lollypop

Lance

Lancer

Lava flow

Leader

Leaky faucet

Leatherman

Lechon

Leek

Leg

Leg of lamb

Leg of mutton

Leggy

Lemon

Lemondrop

Length

Lengthy

Leo

Leosaurus

Leper

Leroy

Leviathan

Libido

Lick

Lickety-split

Lighthouse

Lightning rod

Lil' bro

Lil' willy

Lily

Lima

Limber dick

Limber jimmy

Limbo

Limousine

Limp biscuit

Limp noodle

Limp penis

Limp-dick

Limp-jim

Limpkin

Lincoln

Lindy

Lingam

Link

Linty

Lion

Lipstick

Liquidator

Liquor stick

Lissome

Little birdie

Little bro

Little chap

Little guy

Little head

Little john

Little man

Little peter

Little soldier

Little willy

Lizard

Lizard tongue

Locomotive

Log

Lollipop

Long Dong Silver

Long dong silver

Long fellow

Long john

Long johnson

Long one

Long stick

Longfellow

Longfellow diller

Longhorn

Longie

Longjohn

Longshanks

Longstaff

Magic Mike

Magic stick

Magic Wand

Magic wand

Manhood

Meat Scepter

Meat stick

Member

Micropenis

Mini-me

Missile

Moby Dick

Mojo

Monster

Mount Vesuvius

Mr. Happy

Mr. Winky

Mule

Mushroom

Mushroom Head

Mutton

Myrtle

Nard

Nether rod

One-eye Pete

One-Eyed Monster

One-eyed monster

One-Eyed Snake

One-eyed trouser snake

One-eyed wonder weasel

Organ

Package

Packer

Packing heat

Pecker

Pee-Pee

Pee-pee

Peen

Pencil

Pencil dick

Penile appendage

Penile shaft

Penile tissue

Penile unit

Penile weapon

Penis

Pepperoncini

Peter

Phallos

Phallus

Piece

Pink Oboe

Pintle

Pipe

Pistol

Piston

Pleasure Stick

Plonker

Pocket Rocket

Pogo stick

Poker

Pole

Popcorn

Pork Sword

Prick

Private

Private part

Purple-headed yogurt slinger

Purple-helmeted trouser snake

Purple-Helmeted Warrior of Love

Purple-helmeted warrior of love

Purple-helmeted yogurt thrower

Python

Quiver bone

Ramrod

Ranger

Rascal

Red-capped mushroom

Rod

Root of Jesse

Rude boy

Sausage

Scepter

Schlong

Schwanz

Schwanzstucker

Schwetty balls

Scooby Snack

Screwdriver

Scrod

Scrotum

Sea monster

Secret weapon

Shaft

Shillelagh

Shiv

Shlong

Skin Flute

Skin flute

Skinner

Slingblade

Slug

Slugger

Smacker

Snake

Snapper

Soldier

Spam javelin

Spear

Speed Bump

Speedboat

Spigot

Spigot of love

Spitstick

Spitter

Sponge

Spongebob

Sprout

Spunk gun

Spurt gun

Squirt gun

Staff

Stallion

Stand

Stand up

Starfruit

Stick

Stiffie

Stiffy

Stinger

Stock

Stone

Stone of David

Stonehenge

Stonker

Stopper

Striker

Stud

Stump

Submarine

Sugar stick

Super soaker

Supercock

Surfboard

Swamp lizard

Swansong

Sweetmeat

Swiss Army Penis

Swizzle stick

Sword

Tabasco

Tadger

Tail

Tall tommy

tally

Tallywacker

tallywhacker

Tang

Tank

tapa

Tassle

Tasty pastry

tater

Tazmanian devil

Tea and crumpets

Tea stick

Telescoping tower

Tent peg

Testicle

Testicles

testicular tissue

testiculi

testies

testons

testosterbone

The anaconda

The baton

The big guy

the big vein

the bishop

The blue-veined custard chucker

The chopper

The cone

the conga

The cyclops

The ding dong

The Dipstick

The dong

The driver

The dude piston

the eye of the needle

the family jewels

the flagpole

The flesh flute

The flesh rocket

the fleshy tripod

the fuck stick

the fun rod

The grower

the head

The heat-seeking moisture missile

the hose

The joystick

the King

The knob

the little man in the boat

The love muscle

the magic wand

the main vein

The male member

the man in the boat

The meat whistle

the member

The middle leg

The mighty mite

the old boy

The old man

The one-eyed captain

The one-eyed monster

the one-eyed snake

The one-eyed wonder worm

The package

The peen

The peeper

the pendulum

the peter

The pink cigar

the pink oboe

The pipe

the piston

the pleasure pole

The poker

The pole

the pork sword

the prick

The purple-helmeted warrior

the purple-helmeted warrior of love

The python

The rocket

The rod

The salami

The sausage

The schlong

the scoop

The shaft

The shotgun

The skin flute

The snake

the spitter

the staff of life

the stick

The stiff one

The stinger

the stonker

the sword

The third leg

The tool

The trouser snake

The tube steak

the unit

The wang

the weasel

The wedge

the wee-wee

The weenie

The whopper

The wiener

The wiggle stick

the willy

the wingwang

The womb raider

The wonder worm

The woody

the worm

thingy

Third Leg

Third leg

Thorn

Thrill drill

Throb knob

throbber

Throbbing gristle

Thumper

Thunderbird

Thunderbolt

Thunderstick

Tic Tac

Tickle pickle

Tickler

Tiger

Tiki

Timber

Time machine

Tingler

Tinker

Tinkerbell

tip

Tip drill

Tip of the iceberg

Tipper

Tissue

Titan

Toad

toadstool

todger

Toe

Tool

tooly

tooter

Toothpick

Tootsie roll

Top gun

Torch

Tower

Tower of power

tractor beam

Trafalgar

Treasure

Tree trunk

Tri-pod

Trinket

Trombone

Trouser Snake

Trousersnake

Trumpet

Truncheon

Trunk

Tuba

tube

Tummy banana

Tuna Can

Tuna can

Tuna torpedo

Turgid Trouser Snake

Turgid turtle

turkey

Turkey baster

Turkey neck

Turnip

turtle

Turtleneck

Tusk

twanger

Twig

Twig and Berries

Twig and berries

Twinkie

twinky

Twister

Two ball cane

Two veg and meat

Two-legged Boa

Two-legged tripod

twonker

Umbrella handle

Uncircumcised wonder

Uncle

Uncle Dick

Uncle John

Unit

unmentionables

Uzi

Vainilla

Vainilla Stick

Valiant vein

Veggie

vein

Vein train

Vein train.

Vein-cutter

Vein-erect

Veined custard launcher

VeinMaster 3000

Veiny Victor

Veinzilla

Velvet sword

Vessel

Vienna Sausage

Viking horn

Viking Staff

Vindicator

Vinegar

Violin

Virility

Vixen

Vodka

Volcano

Wally

Wand

wand of light

Wang

wang dang doodle

Wanger

wangle

Wangsta

Wanker

wankie

War club

Warrior

Weapon

Weapon of ass destruction

Weapon of mass destruction

Weapon of Mass Seduction

Wedge

Wee-wee

weenie

weewee

Weiner

wenis

wet noodle

Whacker

Whammer

Whang

Whangdoodle

wheenie

Whip

Whistle

White gold

White Mamba

Whoopie Stick

whopper jr.

widget

Wiener

Wiener Schnitzel

Wiggle stick

wiggle worm

Wiggler

Wiggly

William

Willow

Willpower

Willy

Willy the one-eyed wonder worm

willy wonka

Wing wong

wing-wang

Wingman

Winkie

Winky

Winnebago

Winner

Winston

Winston Churchill

Wintermelon

Wisdom Wand

Wise man

Wishbone

wizard sleeve

Wonder Worm

Wood

Woodpecker

Woody

Worm

Wormhole

wormy

Wrecking ball

Wriggler

Wriggly

Wrinkle

wrinklepump

Wrist Rocket

Wyvern

X-factor

Xylophone

Yad

Yak

Yam

yam

Yam bag

Yams

Yang

Yankee doodle

Yard

Yardstick

Yawing Yowie

Yearling

Yellow

Yellow Belly

Yellow Dart

Yellow dragon

Yellow Peril

Yellow Sausage

Yellow submarine

Yen

Yew

Ygdrasil's staff

Yin-yang serpent

yingyang

Yippie

Yipsicle

Yo-yo

Yob

yobbo

Yoda

Yoga stick

Yoghurt Cannon

Yoghurt gun

Yoghurt pistol

Yogurt

Yogurt hose

Yogurt Slinger

Yogurt slinger

Yogurt thrower

Yolk

Yolkstick

Yolky poke

Yoni

yoni stick

Youth

Yoyo

Yuca

Yule log

Yum yum

Yum-yum

Yummy

Zapper

Zealot

Zebedee

Zebracorn horn

zebu

Zen

Zephyr

Zeppelin

Zesty Italian

Zeus

ziggurat

Zigzag

Zilla

Zinger

Zipper

Zipper Ripper

Zipper snake

Zippy

ziz

Zog

zombie

Zombie maker

Zombie stick

Zonker

Zoom Stick

Zoombini

Zoomer

Zoot stick

Zorro

Zucchini

Zygmunt Freud

Zygote poker

Zygotene

dude?

[icajax]

at the grocery store picking up penis buster if anyone wants anything