#pendragon starter set

[eleonorpiteira]

A few of the many interior illustrations I did for Chaosium's Pendragon Starter Set! (x)

[jacqueline-riggwells-gaming-blog]

Monday Night Kingmaker is on hold indefinitely - at least one week, maybe much more. Any potential home game won't start until next month, just kinda ... blah over here, gang. Just kinda blah. Am hoping/expecting to do part of the Pendragon 6th Starter Set in early September, maybe? I'm sure y'all will find out.

[adventuresandshopping]

Pendragon 6e RPG Starter Set PDFs

The Pendragon Starter Set contains everything a fledgling Gamemaster requires to run a band of freshly-knighted characters through several adventures in the historic fantasy of King Arthur’s Britain.

[tragcdysewn]

small little plotting/starter call for hwevent 15 under the cut! honestly, a lot of my muses are not gonna be very interesting ic for this one, but they will still join in the fun

abigail mckinnon

vaguely concerned about her family, but is ultimately going to be living her life as normal until something happens to one of them, because she is not a detective nor does she want to be

ahsoka tano

unfortunately she's legally obligated to care even though she's pretty sure this is just palpatine nonsense part 79, so she will be looking into things and setting up security at the white house

allana solo

nope, absolutely not, you can not pay them enough to get involved in this shit. she's got her own problems and girl is exhausted

ariana dumbledore

it honestly would not even occur to her to try and involve herself in this. she's a little nervous for herself and her family but they're all smart enough to protect themselves barring the twins who are babies and not likely targets so

ariel

honestly, idk if ariel understands the concept of a serial killer, but she's definitely a little concerned that people seem to be dying. she could definitely be convinced to sleuth, but it's not her first instinct

arlecchino

arlecchino is having fun. girl is gonna plant some fake evidence, maybe steal a few bodies from the morgue to harvest some organs if she can. she's only here for cause chaos

bela dimitrescu

see arlecchino, bela is just taking advantage of the bullshit going on, having a little snacc if she stumbles upon any bodies

beru lars

bop bop bop beru is getting her gun out if anyone comes too close to her so do not try it i'm not sorry

cassie lang

will be genuinely investigating and trying to find out what the hell is going on. she will also be very protective over her friends, sorry not sorry

danika barnes

honestly is laying low, girl is paranoid and wants absolutely nothing to do with any of this. she has almost no attachments in this city and has no intention of getting involved for random people

davina claire

there's a very good chance davina investigates a bit but only if she starts getting worried magic is involved. a normal serial killer is so many levels of not her problem

dewey riley

man is on edge. they are armed always anyway but now he is about two seconds from shooting at any moment. any and all ghostfaces will be getting shit, and tatum is getting a gun happy early birthday

elphaba thropp

hell no. elphaba doesn't like people enough to get involved, and her history with trying to do the right thing tends to end with her getting accused of murder and other crimes so hard pass

eula lawrence

she's a cia agent so she will be looking into it a bit but really this isn't her job, could probably get dragged into shit if amber pouts at her enough but it's definitely not her priority

feng xin

fuck no!! the last time he tried to scooby a mortal massacre his whole life went to shit!! he is wrapping tara in bubble wrap and making sure his clown friends stay the fuck out of this thank you very much (they won't, and he'll cave and help in ~10 seconds)

feyre archeron

she's going to protect her family, but beyond that, she doesn't put much stock in her own investigation skills, so unless someone asks her for help, she won't be doing much

hallie parker

she's posting conspiracy theories on twitter and retweeting any posts she can about it. prepare for a very long video essay when the first killer is caught outlining everything they know about them

hazel levesque

demigods are not supposed to deal with mortal problems, so unless they or her brother is affected, hazel is pretty much staying out of this whole thing

he chunyu

no thank you this is an easily stressed out bitch! girl is hiding in her bedroom until this is all over thank you good night

howl jenkins pendragon

they'll make protection spells for anyone who asks, no charge, and will be worrying about his family and his little group of obnoxious teenagers way more than they'll admit

james potter

man is physically incapable of staying out of shit, he will be investigating way too often, might get himself into some shit because it's james

james witherdale

i mean... this is just a buffet for him sorry

jin zixuan

he could easily be pulled into an investigation, and will be very on edge, but it probably won't occur to him to look into this on his own because he's Just Ken™️

jun wu

honestly man is waiting to get blamed for this, he's not sure who's gonna call him out first but he's sure it'll happen and is just ready to be like 'if i'd done it no one would know they were dead also why would i kill some random mortals idk'

kiyi

they have no intention of being a part of this. kiyi is not a fighter at all, despite their best efforts, so the most they'll do is try to protect their friends that don't have any abilities

kore sekkari

lol, kore is honestly thinking this is a fun time. she's not one for senseless violence, but watching the jedi scramble and fail over and over again to stop it is pretty funny to her

korra

she's gonna help people if they get the chance, but they're not gonna go hunting down a magically powered serial killer until the situation gets more serious

lan wangji

man is out to protect people, and will probably keep an eye on things where he can, try to keep people safe, but his priority is his family and keeping them alive and keeping himself alive for their sakes

li susu

she's also big on protecting people, but she also has a very small child to take care of so she's not going to throw herself into anything without enough knowledge to know she can handle it

lumine

honestly will probably be playing scooby doo with amber and hu tao, will probably also drag zhongli into it to help keep an eye on childe because she does not trust that man

luo fumeng

most of her loved ones are not people she worries about in something like this, maybe penelope and sabrina but even them not so much. she's confident they can all take care of themselves

lysandra ennar

she has done their part saving the world, they are done thank you very much, she wants to take a nice little cat nap

manon blackbeak

she does not care. i'm sorry but she doesn't give one single shit unless one of her friends gets killed

marinette dupain-cheng

will be patrolling as ladybug as often as possible, trying her best to at the very least stop murders from happening, even if she can't manage to catch anyone she'd rather save someone if she can

mj jones

girl is in full investigative journalist mode and she will not be stopped. catch her poking around places she should not be and possibly getting herself in trouble

mo ran

he cares about protecting chu wanning and is debating killing xue meng while he can get away with it because he wants that man aware

mobei-jun

could not give less of a shit as long as qinghua isn't getting hurt, because if binghe and sha hualing get attacked lord help the bitch who did it honestly

nangong jingnu

she's not getting involved please just let her chill in her apartment and avoid the hell out of all of this thank you

nie mingjue

*dinkleberg vc* jin guangyao. not but really man is gonna be trying to help where he can and also really debating just killing jgy but probs won't actually do it :(((

qi rong

i mean... its free real estate right? gotta have a little snacc every now and then

renesmee cullen

she honestly is staying out of it, they have no interest in sleuthing or figuring things out, it's not her business at all

rosamund du prix

see nessie, she honestly isn't a detective, and the whole thing just feels very out of her depth in every way

sheev palpatine

he is investigating because he's the vp and he has to, but he's not really fussed unless his siblings or daughter end up injured

shen qingqiu

man is paranoid and probably has a knife on him at all times, but most of his friends are pretty indestructible so he's not too concerned about them

shi wudu

he is concerned about qingxuan. that's really it, honestly

thanatos

people die, it happens, they aren't too fussed as literal death

wanda maximoff

she's going to be trying to protect her friends, but wanda is very unsure of doing anything else atm so we'll see

wen qing

has been getting followed by some random guy for a bit now so is um very concerned but ultimately trying to be cool

xiao lanhua

she thinks dongfang qingcang might have done it. that's all they got but if one of their friends get injured she'll be starting problems

xiao qing

could absolutely be pulled into checking things out, though they're definitely not much help in terms of finding clues she'll go with you for moral support

yor forger

if you hurt her husband or her kid you will die but beyond that? she's staying out of it

[thesparedata]

A Peaceful Picnic

//Media: The Adventures of Merlin (2008), whatever else you bring to the picnic blanket

Premise: Simple gif-inspired starter, a picnic with Arthur Pendragon. Perfect for expansion with whatever else you'd like.

Seeking: Anyone, any verse! Mutuals and non-mutuals welcome! Platonic with everyone but romance is possible for Gwen and/or Merlin muses.

It was a lovely day for a picnic out on the bank of a river in a meadow nearby the citadel and Arthur Pendragon was sitting and chatting with [y/m] about anything and everything that came to each of their minds. He occasionally took bites from the food he'd had the kitchens make up to bring with them and sips from his goblet of what he felt like drinking. The horses, his and the one [y/m] rode on, munched on grass near where they were set to stand. "I'm glad I came here with you.", said the sandy-haired royal, "I really needed the break."

[mcrcki]

man... who’d’a thunk there’d be a plot drop with chaos. we were definitely super subtle !!!!! either way uh this is definitely a very simple and short plotting / starter call for the plot drop!! basically, gonna limit it to three starters for each character, please don’t request more than two per writer ! ( disclaimer , these starters will be rather short so i can get them out on time !! ) and as for plotting ; please like this post if you would want to discuss transitioning threads / keeping threads for just the gala vibes etc. i’ll come hit you up to figure it out! otherwise, here is A VERY SHORT UPDATE on my babes (im saying that mainly for myself to not RAMBLE like i am in this)

daniela dimitrescu || resident evil ( 3 / 3 )

this just made her night !! they’re gonna be fighting along side these monsters and will do everything to add to the chaos !!! if you need some major plots ,, damn do i have the demi girl for you !!

** open to maiming / murdering any characters you need !!

cassandra dimitrescu

alcina dimitrescu

lan wangji

leia organa || star wars ( 1 / 3 )

sith sith sith sith !!! this is where those yellow “contacts” are gonna be real visible! but she is sick and tired of things happening when she’s just trying to throw a damn party. will be doing everything she can to fight :)

** open to any major and minor injuries !!

ahsoka tano

marlene mckinnon || harry potter : marauders era ( 2 / 3 )

literally so fucking smug that she called it !!! something fucking ridiculous always happens at these parties and she knew it !!! will have a damn breakdown if any of her friends or family (even tho they’re fighting) end up unaware. please could she have her loved ones just all together for longer than a month

** open to any major and minor injuries !!

james potter

esther mckinnon

omega archeron || star wars : the bad batch ( 0 / 3 )

baby girl is too drunk for this, someone please come help them. they absolutely thought this was someone’s sick costume at first before realizing what was actually going on. is panicking and forgetting their training, will happily hide with people while they sober up

** open to any major and minor injuries

who needs a drunk hiding buddy who thinks a single rolling chair in front of a door will keep dracula at bay?

pj halliwell || charmed ‘98 ( 0 / 3 )

honestly, just bummed this is ruining her whole vibe for the night !!!! will be immediately into charmed one savior mode and finding family , protecting the innocents, etc. screw exposure, will be beaming people in and out, pls don’t question it

** open to any major and minor injuries

reluctant hero just wanted to dance :(

rowena ravenclaw || harry potter : founders era ( 0 / 3 )

is definitely not a fighter, has always been much more of the thinker of her friends and will avoid duels when she can. will be doing whatever to help people, providing protection while finding her family and friends. might be reluctant to fight on usual circumstances, but god help whoever crosses rowena when she sets her mind to a fight.

if you need a calm level headed conversation in a time of panic, request this spot

sella palpatine || star wars ( 1 / 3 )

absolutely freaking the f out right now. she’s seen this movie before and she didn’t like the ending. will be in a panic and running and hiding. will not be the voice of reason and will be absolutely frozen in fear, please help her :(

** open to minor injuries

allana solo

sophie hatter || howl’s moving castle ( 1 / 3 )

probably one of the people to stumble onto these monsters first because fam got so lost in the white house. absolutely unprepared for anything like this. will be shoving their way through the crowds to try and find their family again!! probably the one person i do not want this to end well for :)

** is being unalived at some point during the night

howl jenkins pendragon

tatum riley || scream ‘96 ( 0 / 3 )

nah absolutely not, someone else can be the freaking hero with this whole mess but tatum is grabbing a bottle from behind the bar and hiding in one of those safe rooms and calling it a fucking night. she will not be the victim again

if you’re looking for a drinking in a disaster buddy, i got the girl for you !

victoria sutherland || twilight ( 0 / 3 )

she is thriving in the chaos ! finally this party got good !!! will be standing off to the side watching and having fun, might join in on the attacks for the fun of it. will think you’re insane for being scared. this is hysterical come on now.

** open to maiming / murdering any characters you need !!

if you need a major plot filled ,, we have another slot for you :)

[thekingswench]

closed starter for @hrtbrkprinces

Arthur Pendragon should be dead. It had been foretold - his death for Camelot, his blood at the hands of his son, a son he never knew had been conceived, nor with whom, until it was too late. The lad was already toddling by the time Arthur had been given the chance to recognize him, fair of face like his mother but something lingering about the eyes, like too much weight on shoulders too small to hold it up.

That weight had been prophecy, and prophecy had chased them both like dogs all their lives.

Arthur Pendragon should be dead and, yet, he was not.

Instead, he languished in a field tent, wounds soaked with healing herbs and the edges drawn together by the Merlin's gnarled, branch-like hands, sinew keeping his insides where they belonged. He had requested no visitors, once he was lucid, and none had come to see him. They were all too busy mourning their dead, a country so innumerable it turned the king's heart to stone, his life like ashes in his mouth, now.

A snarl curled the edge of his mouth, head snapping upward, when the tent flap opened, exposing the wounded king to the flickering lights of torches. Camlann had fallen on a night dark as pitch; they would not have survived, if not for that and the old wizard's trickery.

"Who dares to enter here?" An figure, swathed in shadow, stood at the entrance of the tent, features obscured, and Arthur's fingers inched closer to the dagger set beside the cot on which he rest. "Brother? Galahad?"

[faterpresources]

Anonymous:

Do you have any advice on how to start an rp blog? I feel like there's so much to do and so many specific things, it looks intimidating, but I really want to get into it (and your blog seems like a safe space to ask as a baby in the matter)

Hi! Thanks you for asking and for trusting. I do admit that rping on tumblr can look daunting and there is a series of things that are considered “etiquette” that might not be obvious for newcomers. And the only way to learn is to ask, right? As I’m not sure if you would like something more specific or a step-by-step, I’m going to go through the whole process.

note: this is a repost from an ask in a more reblog-friendly format

1.       Setting up the blog

You might want to make a new e-mail account for each blog you want. I recommend making a gmail/google account, so you may be able to use other services and associate them with your blog. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

Some people would rather have a personal blog and then making the RP blog as a side-blog. Or a “hub” blog and many side-blogs so they have everything centralized. The downside is that you can’t follow people with side-blogs, only the main – and some rpers are a little suspicious of personal blogs, so if you intend to go this route it might be a good idea to state somewhere in your blog that you have a RP blog.

Tip : It isn’t said too often, but I recommend saving your blog’s e-mail and password somewhere, maybe a flashdrive or even google drive. This way, if something happens you will be able to retrieve your account.

When picking the URL, for a very long time tumblr had problems tagging URLs with a hyphen ( - ). I’m not sure if it has been fixed or if there are still some issues, so I recommend only using letters and maybe numbers. Other than that, pick anything that sounds nice to you!

Themes are nice, but not entirely necessary. Not everybody has photoshop skills and all that. Some people do have commissioned themes, but if you want to try your hand at it my first stop is usually @theme-hunter  or @sheathemes . They reblog many themes from many creators, so there are always many options that might suit your needs.  Some creators offer very newcomer-friendly themes that you can configure a lot of things without much hassle but some might require basic HTML knowledge – a few creators have guides on how to properly set up their themes and are willing to and answer questions, so don’t be afraid to contact them! You can also send me an ask, I’m not a specialist but I can certainly help walk you through the basics.

Tip: @glenthemes have very good themes and a basic installation guide here.

When fiddling with the options, try to pick colors that have nice contrast and are easy to read. If you are bad at picking colors or have problems in finding the code for them, I recommend trying this link. There is also this one that auto-generate palettes.

Tip : If you mess with your theme, remember there is the Theme Recovery.

Tip: If you use Chrome or Firefox you can set up different profiles and associate each with a different blog, so you don’t need to log out from any of your accounts.

There are two pages that I recommend having: one is an about your muse. If they are an OC, it is always a good idea to have at least some information out there to make things easier. If they are from a canon source, not everybody is familiar with the material so it might be a good idea to state. For example, if you are going to roleplay as Altria/Arturia, it is a good idea to have a “RP blog for Saber (Altria Pendragon) from FGO/FSN “ somewhere visible. The other page that is a good idea having is a rules/guidelines page. This one can be a little intimidating, but it is usually a way to communicate important things. For example: are you comfortable writing violence? Do you have any personal triggers? There is something you absolutely won’t write? There are things you may figure out along the way and it is absolutely ok to fine-tune this session every now and then. Some people also credit source for their icons and graphics in general in their rule/guideline page.

If you are using the tumblr default themes, when you create a new page you can turn on the option to show a link to the page. If you are using a custom theme, most of the time you will have to link it manually.

Oh, and if you are planning to do a multimuse, it might be a good idea to list which muses you have. The same goes for a hub blog; list the muses and link to the pages.

Icons aren’t necessary but are considered commonplace. You can find some icons I’ve done here but there are plenty of other sources. If you want to do your own icons, keep in mind to don’t make them too big, as a courtesy to your mutuals.

Tip: Anything larger than 300 pixels will be stretched to fit the post. As of today ( 4/29/2021 ) the posts are currently 540 pixels wide. This can be useful as making banners for your blog.

Tumblr allow users to “pin” posts. This mean that they will always visible if you access your blog, even on dash/mobile. You can use this to set up a post with basic links for mobile users or something else. For example, if you are out on vacations and won’t be able to do replies, you can pin a hiatus notice and then remove the pin once you are back.

2.       Introducing yourself

Time to officially join the fun! (insert a “Hi, Zuko here” joke) Don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy promo graphic or anything, most people make their initial introduction with a simple post.

(as you can see, I’m not very good at saying ‘hi’)

Try to introduce yourself in a few lines, but make sure to state which muse you RP as. Some people also like adding their pen name/alias and establishing a brand. Follow as many people as you want that reblogged or liked your post, and tumblr is going to start recommending other blogs that are related to the tags you use normally or have any relation to the people you follow. You can put as many tags as you want, but tumblr will disregard more than 6 tags in their system. Try tags like “<fandom> rp” and “<fandom> roleplay” along with the media, such as “movie” “video game”, “anime” and so on.

It might also be a good idea to follow a few RP memes blogs. They often have options to break the ice, like one-liners that your mutual can send you.

Tip: Don’t forget to turn on the asks and the anon

3.       Practical advice

Alright, now that you have a few mutuals, it is time to get to some general tips:

Tumblr can be a little “iffy”, and a great quality of life extension for RPers and navigation in general is installing the New Xkit extension. They offer a number of options to enhance your tumblr experience, but the ones I consider essential are the “editable reblogs”, “quick tags” and “blacklist”. Get it for Chrome or Firefox.

As a rule of thumb I recommend writing your RPs using Google Docs before posting or replying. By doing this you can do some spell check and if your browser crashes for any reason you can easily recover your work. You can also use Word, Open Office, or any text editor you feel like.

Because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I also have Grammarly ( Chrome / Firefox ) installed for an extra layer of spell/grammar check. There is a subscription option, but the free one works perfectly fine.

To make things easier to locate, always tag the URL of your RP partner when doing a reply. There are other useful things you can tag, such as open starters, memes, and such.

Risking being obvious here, but when you are not interacting as your character it might be a good idea to tag as “ooc” or “out of character”.

Some people like making google docs with basic info and other useful stuff for easier access on mobile. It is a recent trend, it might be easier to edit as opposed to going through tumblr page editor and dealing with the HTML.  You can find some templates here and here.

Tumblr’s activity can be unreliable, so don’t be afraid of contacting your partner to see if they have gotten your reply after a few weeks. However, some people also enjoy using the RP Thread Tracker in order to be on top of things. It might be a good idea to check it out.

Because of Tumblr shadowbanning and shenanigans, it isn’t unusual for people to have NSFW sideblogs (sometimes referred as ‘sin blogs’). If you want to write smut, it might be a good idea to consider making one.

Some people don’t like replying to asks, as Tumblr won’t let you remove the initial ask. It has become common to see people making new posts to reply to asks.  This is a simple example:

As you can see, I used the mention to have the RP partner notified then I copied and pasted their question on my post and used the quote to indicate it. You can also have fancy graphics, like a line to separate the contents, just do whatever you feel like with the formatting or keep it simple.

To make sure your partner got the answer, I recommend copying the link to the post and pasting on the ask and then replying it privately.  An example sent to my rp blog:

4.       Basic Etiquette

Ok, this is a little subjective most of the time but here are a few things that are considered universal courtesy.

Never reblog someone else’s headcanons. If you enjoy it, maybe it should politely contact the author and ask if it is ok to write something based on their original idea but you should never downright copy or lift something from another creator. It is considered rude, or even theft in some cases.

Don’t reblog threads you are not involved with. It is ok to leave a like, but never reblog. This is because Tumblr can mess up the notifications and disrupt the flow of the RP.

Don’t copy other people’s graphics. It is very rude and sometimes they commission (aka: paid) for it.

Trim your posts. What does that mean? Every time you reblog with a reply, the post tends to get longer and longer, and it can cluster your and your mutuals’ dashes. This is why the New X-Kit’s “editable reblogs” is an almost must-have tool. If for some reason you can’t install X-Kit (if you are on mobile for example), then remove the previous post or ask your partner to trim for you.

Never take control of your RP partner’s muse. This is called “godmodding” and it is heavily frowned upon. It is ok to control your muse and the possible NPCs that you inserted, but never seize someone else’s character. Likewise, it can also be very upsetting if you use what people call “meta-gaming”, applying knowledge that your muse shouldn’t know about the other. For example, let’s say your RP partner’s muse is a vampire, but they have never disclosed that information to your muse, who also doesn’t have an excuse to know that (for example, being a vampire hunter) so it can be quite jarring sometimes. When in doubt, contact your partner.

This should go without saying, but RPing sexual themes with users under the age of 18 are illegal. It doesn’t matter if the age of consent in your location is lower, once you join Tumblr you are abiding by their user guidelines and the law of the state they are located in. If you are an adult, don’t engage minors with these topics, maybe a fade to black would be a better option. If you are a minor, don’t insist or you might cause a lot of legal problems for others.

Try to tag anything triggering. Violence, gore, NSFW. Both Tumblr and the New Xkit have options to block keywords.

When picking PSDs or graphics for your blog, you should avoid templates that change the color of the skin of POCs muses and try to pick the right race/ethnicity of the muse you are going to RP as. I won’t go through a lot of details, as it is a rather lengthy subject in an already lengthy conversation but keep this in the back of your mind.

Some RPers don’t like when you reblog memes from them without sending anything. Try to always reblog from a source or to interact with the person you are reblogging from, it can be rather disheartening to be seen as a meme source rather than a RP blog. This isn’t a rule and some people don’t mind, but it is always a good idea to try to do this.

This might be more of a pet peeve of mine than proper etiquette, but it is ok to use small font. What is not ok is use small font + underscript. Some people have disabilities that might make it harder for them to read it, so it might be a good idea to refrain from using it. Maybe if you feel like doing something fancier every now and then, but I wouldn’t recommend making this a habit.

Mun and Muse are different entities. Remember that it isn’t because a muse does something (especially a villain one) that the mun condones something. Never assume anything about the mun, when in doubt talk to them.

Be mindful of your partners and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

As a rule of thumb, always talk to your RP partner. It is only fun as long both of you are enjoying it.

5.       Closing Words

This got longer than I expected.

Despite all of that, don’t be too worried about not being very good at first. I assure you that you will get better with time, so don’t be afraid of experimenting as long you feel comfortable. And don’t be afraid of saying “no” if something bothers you.

My inbox is always open to questions and ideas, so feel free to contact me anytime!

I would also ask my followers: there is advice I missed/overlooked? Anything you would like someone have told you when you first started? Add your thoughts so I can update this.

Happy RPing!

[rpgsandbox]

‘I do believe in fairies! l do! I do!’

Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie

Experiencing visions of a mythical land throughout your childhood, you are suddenly transported to the Inspirisles, a kingdom ruled by the fey. Responsible for a pact made long ago by your ancestors, you must now earn Belief and the respect of their gods or find yourself trapped there forever.

INSPIRISLES is a completely original tabletop RPG aimed at teenagers. It will promote empathy, life skills and deaf awareness with an emphasis on teamwork and creativity.

Play as teens gifted extraordinary powers.

Meet famous characters and fearsome monsters from Celtic folklore.

Work together to heal a crumbling land and restore a fractured kingdom.

Learn British/American Sign Language as you cast spells and solve puzzles.

Become apprentices to the gods.

Offer Belief to earn your tickets home.

This project came about after running my teen Dungeons & Dragons group Hatchlings for over a year. I wanted to create something for them. Something they could have a hand in building. And something I could take beyond the group to use in schools and communities as a workshop model. Inspirisles is the result of this, a game for young players that reflects my interest in folklore and my ongoing work with the deaf community.

Though Inspirisles is aimed at children, it can be enjoyed equally by adults and we are especially encouraging parents, educators and tabletop beginners to invest in our game. Many of us have fond memories of 80s fantasy classics such as The NeverEnding Story & Labyrinth. Inspirisles aims to capture some of that nostalgic magic and transport its older participants back to a more carefree and imaginative time.

                         Standard & Limited Edition book mock-ups

A5 premium-colour hardback with over 150 pages of material, including...

History of the islands and their Friends.

Creating your Foundling character.

Collection of spell, ability & item cards and the tools to invent your own.

A host of worldbuilding ideas & mechanics to breathe life into your quests, including using the arts in roleplaying, creating challenging environmental puzzles, alternative ways to earn Belief, rules for Inspired apprenticeships, exploration, downtime & Doom.

Scriv’s Tour: Follow the famous bard as she journals the key locations & personalities you will encounter during your adventures.

Scriv’s Story: Fiction retelling the moment our bard met Athelyn for the first time (Limited Edition only).

Menagerie of monsters from Celtic folklore & the tools to invent your own.

Starter adventure: ‘Duster Trials’.

Stunning art from cover to cover, including maps for locations and encounters.

Two page spread of Josh Somerville’s spectacular knot art (Limited Edition only).

Dyslexia friendly fonts throughout to prioritise accessibility.

Handouts: Blank character sheet, Shaping alphabet (BSL & ASL), milestone certificates & Grail template.

* terms in bold explored below.

                    Page sample by Anna Urbanek of Double Proficiency

Belief is the keystone of the Inspirisles. The energy binding all things. In its absence, the land and its children would fade from life and from memory.

If Belief were to run dry, it would have terrible repercussions. Imagine something calamitous like Earth’s polar caps suddenly melting or electricity disappearing from the globe overnight.

Though Belief is generated through such things as exploration, the arts, work and even battle, these pale in comparison to the amount collected from human children.

As children believe in magic less and less, the inhabitants of the Inspirisles must come up with new and increasingly creative ways to convince them otherwise.

Belief gathered from Earth is taken to the World Tree and released over its roots. This energy then spreads throughout the land, healing the foundations of the islands.

                                                          Shaping

A place where the gods walk freely, where dragons are hunted for hoarding Belief, where a war rages between Friends, where reforging an ancient sword can reforge a kingdom, where sign language is used to cast spells, where there is no death, only Disbelief, and where heroes rise and fall together.

It is also a setting to reflect the struggles of our own world. You’ll find environmental calamity, political greed and social injustice to name but a few. Making Inspirisles relatable to our future generations was an ambition from the very start. However, we would never want to push an agenda, so building a platform for whichever stories need to be told has been our sole responsibility.

                                                       Hibernation

Our system and its mechanics are entirely built around the theme of Belief. Players must work together to collect this wondrous commodity, reaching the heights before deciding whether to stay and enjoy the renown or return home and reunite with their true families.

Moving away from systems found in many popular tabletop RPGs, Inspirisles is largely aimed at young adults and does away with traditional mechanics such as racial bonuses, class systems, ponderous combat and even death.

Though our players should expect an open, sandbox experience, it’s nice to have an overall goal in mind. As such, the concept of healing the land as a team for rewards and progression is at the heart of Inspirisles.

As with any roleplaying game, Inspirisles will throw challenges at its players. As well as social and environmental encounters, Foundlings (players) will inevitably come across familiar monsters of Celtic legend, such as the Questing Beast who will stalk them across the land. Within the book, you’ll also discover many nasties of our own invention and the tools to invent your own.

                                                  Don’t go it alone!

                                                        Attributes

Foundlings will have six attributes: sword, shield, speed, smarts, social & survival. When facing obstacles, they can lay down up to three cards representing spells, abilities or items. These cards display unique properties that will have an impact on their attribute bonus. Players then roll 2d6, adding the attribute bonus plus any additions from the cards. If the obstacle they are facing is truly perilous, they may turn to their Grail Pool as a last resort, a resource only carried by Foundlings.

                                     Sample obstacle resolution

Obstacles can include social interactions, puzzles, environmental challenges and battle. Whether the obstacle is resolved through roleplay or combat, if it requires a check, it is always contested between player and Grail Guide (Game Master).

With every failed encounter and instead of suffering injury or death, Foundlings will instead experience Disbelief. If too much Disbelief is accumulated as a group, players must pull together to reduce it using the Belief they may be saving for a rank or new cards. This balancing act encourages empathy between participants, but also prevents Doom from affecting the islands.

                                                Puzzles & predators

                        Guinevere & Arthur, our Grail Guide choices

Our version of a Game Master is called the Grail Guide (GG). A participating adult or teenager will take on the role of GG and become the spirit of King Arthur Pendragon or Queen Guinevere. It will be their task to guide the players on their journey, making decisions on the rules, lending voice to the citizens and fangs to the denizens, and encouraging everyone to work together, share the limelight and have fun.

As the GG, you also have the unique opportunity to gift your players their Grail Pool, a set of polyhedral dice (d4, d6, d8, d10, d12 & d20). Foundlings are the only beings able to carry this water poured from the Holy Grail. Even a sip will offer them an edge when facing the greatest of challenges and most dangerous of foes.

Talking of the Grail, with the book will be a template for the holy vessel that GG’s can cutout before sessions. This prop is then placed in the centre of the playing space and can be flipped whenever a player finds a theme or scenario too difficult. The GG can then move on swiftly without disrupting the overall session.

                                                        Safety tool

It is also the responsibility of the GG to add tension and peril to the experience. If their players accumulate too much Disbelief, they can consult a Doom chart. This will change the Inspirisles in dramatic ways, such as causing a volcano to erupt, introducing the Questing Beast to hunt Foundlings, having Excalibur seized by an enemy or building a troll bridge on the outskirts of a city.

                                                        Spelunking

As a player, you take on the role of Foundling, a human teen drawn by fate to the islands. Instead of selecting a race or class, Foundlings are trained by one of eight fey clans, otherwise known as Friends. The Knockers, Glow, Wyrmbitten, Capra, Piskies, Giantheld and Bucca populate distinct locations from city to forest, tin mine to tundra. Seven of these races work tirelessly to restore Belief and prevent the collapse of the Inspirisles. Whilst the eighth, an exiled people known as Glimmers refuse to help, sheltered far beneath the surface where the cracks go unseen and the tremors unfelt.

                                                        Friends

As a Foundling, once Belief is gathered, it can be used in 3 distinct ways...

Pilgrimage to Avalon where the World Tree sits. Belief is offered to its roots in exchange for training.

Patronage to the Inspired. Belief is offered in exchange for spells.

Provide for the community they were embraced by. Belief is offered in exchange for items.

Regardless of how Foundlings offer Belief, they will earn the favour of the ruling houses and feel their reputation and power grow.

                                           Foundling character sheet

The Inspired are the closest thing the islands have to deities. Their influence can be felt across the kingdom at all times and ultimately players will need to impress them if they are to return home.

As well as being great teachers of magic in the form of Shaping, they have trades in their homelands, allowing Foundling players to become apprentices and earn Belief through hard work and dedication.

Kilna of the Fire has his forge.

Egrain of the Earth has her vinyard.

Athelyn of the Water has their bath house.

Vorm of the Air has his skyship.

                                                    The Inspired

Travelling via All’s Well, a mysterious portal leading to the British Isles, on their 15th birthdays, the brightest and bravest Foundlings are sent Earthwards to collect Belief. These elite are known as Dusters.

With the help of a Wellwisher, a common mammal transformed by Athelyn to be more like you and I, Dusters will be guided to a child without Belief, a teenager struggling to feel magic in their life.

Players will then roll a six-sided Dusting Dice (d6), revealing the target child’s particular sensitivity. 1: Fear 2: Joy 3: Wonder 4: Help 5: Story and (6: Other - determined by GG). Through roleplaying this sensitivity, Foundlings must convince the child that magic exists before collecting their Belief to take back.

                                                      Wellwisher

                                    BSL alphabet by british-sign.co.uk

As well as speaking the common tongue for the sake of interactions with humankind, the fey use a form of sign language they believe communicates right to the heart.

The technique is known as Shaping, a term derived from the hand and finger movements used and a deeper meaning of shaping the world around them. Spells are solely expressed through Shaping, with gestures building energy before being released from the fingertips.

Spells are taught only by the Inspired. Only they know the deeper intricacies of the language necessary to harness magic.

Though optional, we are introducing British Sign Language (BSL) and Sign Supported English (SSE) into our game. We are using it as part of the spellcasting process and to solve some of the setting’s most challenging puzzles, encouraging our young players to learn the alphabet and more as they play.

When you back our core book, whether digitally or physically, you will gain access to a video workshop on the art of Shaping produced by our friends in the deaf community. Whilst not a comprehensive introduction to British Sign (see Stretch Goals), it will teach participants enough to encourage them to pursue the language beyond the game.

The core book will also come with an American Sign Language (ASL) alphabet sheet. The video tutorial unlocks through a stretch goal.

Kickstarter campaign ends: Mon, August 17 2020 12:00 AM BST

Website: Hatchlings

[jacqueline-riggwells-gaming-blog]

Well I'd hoped to run the Pendragon 6th Starter Set in early September for my birthday with, mostly, not my regular group but that has fallen through - as my plans typically do, that is my life.

Still thinking about an irregular, drop-in and drop-out, game. Like once a month? I need more gaming in my life, is my point. Could be Pendragon, maybe Traveller? Something with minimal PC growth but lots of story development? Slow burn kinda stuff. I have so many ideas. VTT kinda stuff probably. I have needs.

[the-astro-ace]

Alrighty, for @spiritofcamelot who asked for snippets from my giant list of WIPs lmao

SO HERE WE GO

9 - Dragonlord Gwaine

So, uh, funny story

The first chapter of this one is up on AO3 X’D

Basic premise: Gwaine is a Dragonlord, but he doesn’t know it until he happens to run across Balinor in a tavern one day

Ummm, yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeah.  I’m stuck on this one X’D.  I had Plans, but then the further I got in the Plans, the less I liked the Plans, and now I don’t know what to do this one laskdjfklasdf

I would love to give a snippet from Chapter 2, but as it stands right now I have no idea how much of my current WIP of chapter 2 is actually going to make it in/get released

So

Yeah

I hope to finish this one, but I have no idea how soon that’ll be ;-;

~~~

19 - Spymaster Merlin

Basically: Arthur realizes Merlin knows what he’s talking about when it comes to enemies, and decides to make it official by appointing Merlin as spymaster

Merlin then turned back to Arthur.

Arthur was watching him, his brow furled in thought.

Merlin glanced behind himself - was that where Arthur was looking? - but when it revealed nothing, he turned back, utterly confused.  “Arthur?  Is something wrong?”

Arthur stared at him for a moment longer, before sighing and leaning back in his chair.  He gestured to the empty one across the desk from him.   “Have a seat, Merlin.”

Merlin was taken aback.  He gestured to the clothes that still needed putting away.  “But I -”

“Now, if you please.”

Merlin blinked, but he nodded and set out the half-folded shirt on Arthur’s bed, before making his way to the desk and taking a seat.

Arthur was silent for several moments, staring at Merlin with that expression of consideration.

Merlin’s stomach began to twist.  Did… did Arthur find out somehow?

Merlin shifted.  “Arthur?”

Finally, Arthur spoke, “Merlin… you knew about Valiant.  You tried to warn me of him before he attacked.  You were investigating the men who impersonated Sirs Ethan and Oswald long before anyone was suspicious of their true identities.  You knew Lady Catrina was a troll before anyone else -”

Merlin shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  “Arthur -”

Arthur held up a hand, and Merlin shut his mouth with an audible click. 

Arthur paused, then he let out a breath.  “What I’m trying to say is that… you have good instincts, good reflexes, and time and time again you have proven your loyalty to me and to Camelot.  You have a way of figuring things out before anyone does, and you are able to make connections with people that I am incapable of.  You take things into your own hands, and if there’s a threat, you’re one of the first people who know about it.”

Arthur clasped his hands on the table, and met Merlin’s eyes with an intensity Merlin wasn’t sure he liked.

“I have a proposition for you, Merlin.”

~~~

37 - Gwaine Emrys

I AM SO HAPPY YOU ASKED ABOUT THIS ONE BECAUSE I LOVE THE PREMISE SO MUCH

This is another attempt of mine for a comedic fic, and, here, I’ll just paste the first bit and hope it is self-explanatory 😆

There were a lot of things that led to the situation Gwaine was in now.

First and foremost, he supposed, was that several years before, he had jumped into a fight in a tavern to help save a handsome, raven-haired young man and his companion from surely being killed.

That, of course, led to him waking up in an unfamiliar castle and an unfamiliar bed. And that led to many more moments with the raven-haired young man in question, bringing Gwaine to a life that he never thought he could have had, but would never give up for the rest of the world.

Now, several years after that initial day in the tavern, Gwaine’s life was looking very different.

Very different indeed.

For starters, he was now a knight for that raven-haired young man’s companion.  One noble, albeit very prattish at times, King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot.

And that raven-haired young man in question, one quite handsome Merlin Emrys, was Gwaine’s husband.

His name wasn’t Merlin Emrys when they met, no, for Merlin had had no surname to speak of then.  

But when magic had been finally, finally returned to Camelot and Merlin had been given the role of Court Sorcerer, Arthur had asked Merlin to pick one.  To appear more regal in the eyes of the council and of the neighboring kingdoms, he explained.

Merlin could have chosen the last name of his father – and that of the Dragonlord Clan Ambrosius – but as people knew him by his other name, Emrys, already, Merlin went for convenience and simply opted to make his second name his surname.

And when, about a year later, he proposed to Gwaine and asked for them to be married, Gwaine was faced with a decision himself.

He had never told Arthur – or anyone other than Merlin, really – his true surname, wishing to keep that part of his past buried and forgotten.

He was Sir Gwaine, Knight of Camelot and nothing more.

But when it came time to sign the marriage papers, Gwaine found himself adding on a new part to his name – one that made him completely and utterly Merlin’s.

Gwaine Emrys.  Not too shabby sounding if you asked him.

However, thinking back to that moment when Gwaine chose his new name, he never could have predicted what would transpire because of that choice. Most everyone in Camelot knew Merlin, and most knew Gwaine was his husband and a knight.  A mundane, magic-less knight.

But, there were still people who did not know Merlin on sight, especially in the outer villages.

In hindsight, Gwaine supposed they should have realized mix-ups like this would occur.

“Everyone! He’s here!  The great and powerful Emrys!”

The faces of the villagers lit up, and they all turned to Gwaine with broad smiles – cheering and clapping with the belief that the great sorcerer was among them, and all their problems would soon be solved.

Oh dear.  

This would take some explaining to do.

~~~

65 - Selkie Gwaine

I remembered this one having more - whoops

Okay so this file has a grand WHOPPING total of 43 words, so I shall just use a description I already wrote lol

OKAY SO I'm uh, not sure how this is going to start

But I think the basic set up to start will be that Merlin+Gwaine+the others are all living in a seaside village.  Merlin and Gwaine are good friends, and often hang out

Somehow I'll establish that Gwaine never talks about his past - he's referenced a couple things, but he never goes in depth, and Merlin's never heard him mention going to visit his family.  His dad's dead, but other than that Merlin doesn't know what happened to them (So actually not too different than canon alksdjfasd)

I think just...one night a storm's coming in.  And Gwaine's just...sad.  Maybe it's an anniversary, or maybe it's his mother's birthday, but point is Gwaine's just being all melancholic That night the storm comes in, and as Merlin's on the beach doing, uh, Something, he spots a figure sitting in the shallow waves

And Merlin, upon closer look, finds it's Gwaine

Merlin is of course ASLKDJFLKAJSDFLKJASDF "GWAINE WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

Gwaine doesn't move (I'm trying to decide if he's inebriated at this point too but idk), and Merlin approaches him, to get him out of the water before he drowns, gets struck by lightning, or gets hypothermia, ya know? And I just have this idea of Gwaine, when Merlin gets close, is all "Can't you hear it singing?"

Merlin's all ???

Gwaine: "The ocean.  Can't you hear it?"

But point is Merlin grabs his arm and is all "Come on we need to go" and at that Gwaine gets up and follows

So Merlin gets Gwaine back to his house - Gwaine just seems out of it this whole time so he's probably inebriated oof - before Merlin gets him out of his wet clothes, gets a fire going And of course he's a bit 😳 at the idea of cuddling for warmth with Gwaine (because this is me lol) but point is he's certain Gwaine's going to get hypothermia if he doesn't

So they get all comfy and go to sleep aslkdjfjlaksfjklasdf

The next morning they wake up and Merlin's just "Do you want to tell me what that was all about??"

And Gwaine just sighs

"I'm not human, Merlin

"I'm a selkie"

~~~

77 - BODY SWAP

Merwaine Body Swap AU.  Pretty self explanatory I think

Merlin looked into the mirror.

He expected to find two Merlin’s staring back at him: himself, and the figure with his face next to him.  But instead, he found one Merlin standing to his right side -

And Gwaine, taking the place where he should have been.

“W-what?” Merlin breathed, before reaching a hand up to his face.

The Gwaine in the mirror did the same.

Merlin’s breathing grew ragged, and he ran his hand over his face - feeling his cheeks, his nose, the scruff covering his jaw.  While there had been mornings he’d desperately needed to shave before, there had never been anything like this.

The most damning thing, however, was when he moved his hands to the sides, and found long hair there - brown and curled, and definitely far longer than Merlin had ever let it grow.

And it finally began to sink in what all this meant.

If - if he was in Gwaine’s body, and the figure with Merlin’s face thought Merlin had stolen his -

Merlin turned to the person next to him.   

The figure with Merlin’s face was doing the same thing Merlin had been, running his hands over his face with a shocked expression, as if unable to believe what he saw in the mirror.

Then he slowly turned to look at Merlin, that shocked expression still there.

“Merlin?” the figure asked.

“Gwaine?” Merlin responded, stomach sinking at this confirmation of who it was that was truly standing next to him.

They stared at each other for a moment longer.

Then they screamed.

[irresistiibles]

so i know i’ve still been a little slow but i’m basically set now to just be chilling at home for the rest of break and classes and my drafts have stayed below the 30s pretty well so i will be taking this opportunity to have no self control and put out a starter call. i’m capping these at five but if you’d like an out of fandom starter for someone who’s cap has been reached feel free to still request it since i could always use more out of character starters. i will also hopefully be updating my plots page for everyone soon so that should be going in a few days!

asami sato (1/5)

ben hargreeves (1/5)

blue sargent (0/5)

ciel phantomhive (0/5)

dominique weasley (2/5)

elsa of arendelle (0/5)

entrapta (0/5)

glinda upland (0/5)

hana song (0/5)

haruhi fujioka (0/5)

howl jenkins pendragon (0/5)

jang man wol (0/5)

ji eun tak (0/5)

julian ‘jaskier’ pankratz (0/5)

karolina dean (0/5)

kyoshi (0/5)

lavender brown (1/5)

lily evans (1/5)

michiru kaioh (0/5)

pansy parkinson (2/5)

rita skeeter (1/5)

samantha giddings (0/5)

san (0/5)

tessa gray (0/5)

thanatos (0/5)

toph beifong (0/5)

zhongli  (0/5)

[fyrapartnersearch]

Roleplay Search!

Hello! I've been searching for some new partners to write with and have always had great success here so I figured I'd post another ad!! Sorry ahead of time if this is super long or boring, I just want to cover all that I can ahead of time. But, let's go ahead and get introductions out of the way first!

All About Me:

For starters, I go by Arturia online but feel free to call me whatever. I'm 20 years old, she/her pronouns and I live in the Central Timezone, though I'm often up at odd hours so timezones shouldn't be too much of an issue. I will be starting school shortly with a lot of credit hours, though will be at home doing online schoolwork so while I don't expect to be slow in replying, I might be at times. But, as always, I will keep you updated!

RP Basics:

I rp any pairing, but I will not play solely a male for your female. If I do write a male, we will double either a FxF pairing of MxF pairing with me as the female. I get bored writing only a male.

Smut: I will write it, but generally prefer to fade-to-black. Of course, you must be 18+ to contact me for an rp. I will ask for your age if you do not state it. I do not want a solely smut-centered rp and the characters must be of age if we are writing smut about them. I get trauma and stuff in their backstories happens, but we will not write it out whatsoever.

OOC Chat: I love it, but will never force it! Just let me know if you want to include ooc chat or not, I'm fine with either.

Triggers/Limits: I don't have many myself, aside from the general consensus with smut (Nothing illegal or anything involving the bathroom, sorry but not really sorry.) If you have any triggers or limits in ooc chat or rp or smut in the rp, let me know!! I don't want to trigger you accidentally. 

Replies: I can't guarantee a set schedule, but I will always keep you updated. Generally it's daily or semi-daily and I would appreciate the same from you. If you can't write replies that often, that's fine, just keep me updated! Otherwise, I will message you every other day to a week after our last reply.

Writing Style: I write in 3rd person and expect you to do the same, sorry but 1st just isn't it for me and I will not write against it. In terms of length, it all depends, but at least two paragraphs. 

RP Method: Email or Discord, info will be included down at the bottom of this ad!

Don't: Control my character. Seriously, don't. Even if we have short replies going on, I don't care. Do not control my character. If I want my character (even canon characters) to do something, I will write it. Even if it's something as miniscule as my character staring at yours, I will include it. If you control my character, I will literally call you out on it or drop the rp. 

Roleplay Types:

Fandoms: 

I'm going to include what sort of pairings I'll do as well as who I'm looking for. If you're interested in any, let me know and we can do some plotting!

Harry Potter: CanonxOC or OCxOC: I want to write against Sirius Black.

Attack on Titan: CanonxOC or maybe OCxOC with a good plot: I'm really wanting this rp, I already have a plot for CanonxOC and am looking to write against Levi.

Literally any other anime. Seriously, just tell me one. Examples are Haikyuu, Fate Series, Log Horizon, SAO, Black Butler, Naruto, Tokyo Ghoul, Fairy Tail, MHA, Dr. Stone, etc. Pairing type will depend on the anime, but just ask!

Fire Emblem 3H or Fates: CanonxOC: As far as 3H, I want to write against Claude. For Fates, Leo.

Honestly, just ask me about one. 

Original:

Post-Apocalyptic: I'm so down to explore a variety of scenarios that could cause an apocalypse. Maybe it starts out with normal zombies bu turns out to be some scientist/government figure experimenting on people, trying to take over the world to build anew?

Fantasy: Anything and everything, just ask. Typically go for medieval fantasy, but literally just ask me.

Sci-Fi: This sort of goes hand in hand with fantasy, but I'm down for space pirates or some new world type stuff. Shoot me your ideas!

Okay, again, just shoot me your ideas. We can figure something out!

Contact Info:

When you reach out to me, tell me your age, timezone, rp basics, limits/triggers, and what rp you are interested in! Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you soon!

Email: thearturiapendragon@gmail.com

Discord: Arturia Pendragon#5056

[mst3kproject]

1111: Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2

You know how Joel said the part of the movie that was ‘spilled’, the bit with David Carradine fighting the monster called the Protector, could have saved the whole film?  He lied. It’s just as dumb as the rest of the movie.  In fact, this whole film is so stupid and predictable that I’m going to have a very hard time filling two pages with my thoughts on it.  Apparently even Joel himself wished he’d found a different movie to use.

An age of darkness has fallen, and Caedmon of Nogg is the world’s last hope.  The ghost of his father, I think, or maybe Obi-Wan Kenobi, appears in a bucket of coffee and charges him with finding the Chosen One, whose pure heart will re-unite the Three Powers. The Chosen One is a skinny, hormone-suffused teenage boy named Tyor who works on a stick farm somewhere, and Caedmon trains him in wizardry while seeking out three powerful warriors: the Dark One of Eedok, Prince Ermine of Valdar, and Amathea of Fennir.  One by one, they defeat the evil wizards and gather the magical sword, chalice, and amulet that will bring peace to the world.

So, yeah, it’s less a ‘movie’ than it is a Dungeons and Dragons campaign, thrown together in five minutes after the original GM called from the side of the road with a flat tire.

It’s not at all apparent how this is a sequel to Wizards of the Lost Kingdom.  Not only are the storylines unconnected, the whole aesthetic is totally different. Where the first movie was all bright colours and friendly forest creatures, this one is brown and gray, starving peasants and grubby heroes.  It’s kind of the difference between Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and Game of Thrones, although infinitely worse than either.  Still, if there’s any sort of connection to be found, I should be able to figure it out. After all, one of my running gags on this blog is The Movies Are All Coming Together, in which I find connections between unrelated films to assemble them into a single, great, incomprehensible movie.

For starters, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2 is definitely a sequel to The Undead.  After Pendragon skooered Lydia the Witch, her insanity curse on Smolken wore off and he remembered he was actually Caedmon the Wizard.  He was forced to run off to this distant land to escape all the medieval punk kids wanting him to autograph their copies of Digger Smolken’s Rottenest Hits.  As for how this relates to Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, though? I don’t think this is a sequel at all. It’s actually a prequel.  See if you can follow me here:

Remember, Tyor was not supposed to kill Zarz… by running him through at the end, he gave in to evil.  So after a few years of putting up with Caedmon’s incompetence as a pupil, he got sick of him, turned him into a sparkly crab hat, and embraced the dark side. Meanwhile, Amathea was getting tired of Ermine’s philandering, so she and Tyor teamed up to kill him and seize the throne.  The Dark One’s restaurant went under after he was caught selling chicken that turned back into stone when you bit into it.  He tried to get money to pay off his small business loans by ditching Stripper Wife and wooing a wealthy cyclops so he could take her dowry and run.  To avoid his jilted bride’s vengeful brother, he went on the run and returned to using his real name, Kor.  Presto, you’ve got Wizards of the Lost Kingdom!

I have to take a break now.  My brain hurts.

This movie wants so badly to be epic.  The narration sounds like Achronus from Cave Dwellers telling us another story about Ator: and so, Cademon of Nogg set out across the land of Syn in search of the boy Tyor.  And yet, every time something happens that should be epic, it’s just people standing around.  The finale is a showdown between callow young Tyor and the two dark wizards Zarz and Donar, and they all just kind of mill around and bicker.  The fight between the Dark One and the Protector is much closer to being a climactic battle than this is, but it’s just more obvious fake swordplay and disappointment, and David Carradine looks downright embarrassed about it. I’m not convinced that scene was actually intended for this movie, by the way.  David Carradine made another stupid fantasy movie called The Warrior and the Sorceress, which I have not seen, and it might be from that.

One thing I can say for Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2, though, is that the middle of the story has substantially more to do with the beginning and end than in its predecessor.  Caedmon is given his task, which is to find Tyor and then help him get the sword, amulet, and chalice so he can overthrow the evil wizards and unite the three kingdoms.  And the middle of the movie is spent doing exactly that.  This does divide the whole narrative into three separate plots that are only barely related to each other, and because of the limited running time all three of them feel truncated.  Tyor confronts Loki and turns him to stone and we’re like, that’s it?  He hears the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi and pulls a knife on Freyja, who agrees to take him to the sword and… that’s it?  It feels like the movie ought to be twice as long as it is, except that we really wouldn’t want that.

In particular, the audience has no idea what the sword, the amulet, and the chalice really do.  The fact that Tyor is able to overcome the amulet’s supposedly supreme power with some nonsense words really deflates the whole enterprise.  The sword is supposed to be magical but all it gets used for is stabbing people.  The chalice shows the truth except that Zarz can make it lie?  And at the end Obi-Wan takes all three away instead of letting Ermine and Amathea use them to rule the three kingdoms?  The three artefacts could not be more obviously plot contrivances, even if they were just boxes with the word macguffin written on them.

The Protector beast really ought to have been set up earlier, too, if it were going to deserve a setpiece fight.  As it is, MST3K excised it with no plot consequences.  Why didn’t we get to see Zarz feeding people to it?

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2 is grittier and less silly than its predecessor, which does allow the actors to escape with some tatters of their dignity, but in a way this is itself a weakness.  The first movie kept me interested mostly by throwing random episodes of what the fuck at me.  This one plods through its plotline without any lion-centaur beasts or random tricksy mermaids, although the impossibly bad werewolf-versus-pigwoman fight did make me look twice.  At the same time, paradoxically enough, I think it’s fair to say that Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2 also takes itself less seriously.  The first movie did have a full-on wizards’ battle at the end, even if it sucked.  The second one here has a whole lot of talking and Tyor turning the crystal ball into a roast chicken, which apparently incapacitates Zarz in some way but I’m damned if I know how.  The roast chickens in the movie are clearly the ones you get out of the little warmer at the grocery store deli.

You know what?  This movie should have ended with Tyor turning Zarz into a chicken!  That would have allowed Tyor to win without killing anyone, and given a purpose to the weird ‘chicken’ motif that keeps happening.  Why was I able to come up with that, and the movie wasn’t?  The writers seem to think that chickens are somehow inherently funny, when really everybody knows that’s only true when they’re trying to cross the street.

These are not movies that really lend themselves to analysis but I guess there’s kind of a hint of theme, in that the Dark One would rather live quietly, running his pub with his wife, and only goes out to fight when he’s forced to do so?  Although I’m not sure how we’re meant to interpret that.  Is it about the benefits of a peaceful lifestyle (insofar as stabbing people when they don’t tip qualifies as ‘peaceful’)?  Or are we supposed to think the Dark One should have gotten off his ass and answered the call of duty before it came to that?  Maybe the chicken thing was meant to suggest that even a coward can save the world?  I don’t know. I just work here.

So that’s my marathon of lame-ass wizard movies that made it to MST3K.  Of the three, I think the first Wizards of the Lost Kingdom was easily my favourite.  It was light and silly and it made no sense, but it kept me giggling, sometimes just out of sheer surprise.  And I guess that means Quest of the Delta Knights would come in second, because Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2 was definitely the worst.  The other two movies at least looked like people were having a good time making them, while this one feels like it was probably as much a chore to be in as it is to watch.  Even Sid Haig as Donar looks like he’d rather be anywhere else, and considering some of the crap Sid Haig seemed to have been enjoying himself in, that’s really saying something.

All the monster fights in the world couldn’t have saved this one.  What it really needed was the Dark One fighting a giant chicken.