ptacadmy

[m0rb1dch1ld]

A few wips that I’ve been meaning to finish. I’ll eventually get to them. I’ve just been really busy lately

[saturniasxenos]

FIRE NPT PACK!!

Down below, you'll find firey pronouns, burning hot titles, ignited names, and all the alike fire/flame/lava genders!

Enjoy my firey loves! ❤

Pronouns:

Ar/Arso/Arson/Arsons/Arsonself

Ab/Abla/Ablaze/Ablazes/Ablazeself

Ar/Ardo/Ardor/Ardors/Ardorself

Ca/Cand/Candle/Candles/Candleself

Fer/Ferv/Fervor/Fervors/Fervorself

Fi/Fir/Fire/Fires/Fireself

Fir/Firestro/Firestorm/Firestorms/Firestormself

Fir/Firebo/Firebolt/Firebolts/Fireboltself

Fir/Firebu/Firebug/Firebugs/Firebugself

Fir/Firebo/Firebomb/Firebombs/Firebombself

Fir/Fireshi/Fireshine/Fireshines/Fireshineself

Fir/Firestri/Firestriker/Firestrikers/Firestrikerself

Fir/Fireba/Fireball/Fireballs/Fireballself

Fir/Firewo/Firewood/Firewoods/Firewoodself

Fir/Firepro/Fireproof/Fireproofs/Fireproofself

Fir/Firecra/Firecracker/Firecrackers/Firecrackerself

Fir/Firebre/Firebreak/Firebreaks/Firebreakself

Fir/Firef/Firefly/Fireflys/Fireflyself

Fir/Fireli/Firelight/Firelights/Firelightself

Fir/Firewa/Firewalker/Firewalkers/Firewalkerself

Fie/Fier/Fiery/Fierys/Fieryself

Fla/Flam/Flame/Flames/Flameself

Flame/Flamethro/Flamethrower/Flamethrowers/Flamethrowerself

Flame/Flamma/Flammable/Flammables/Flammableself

Fla/Flar/Flare/Flares/Flareself

Fur/Furna/Furnace/Furnaces/Furnaceself

Kin/Kind/Kindle/Kindles/Kindleself

La/Lav/Lava/Lavas/Lavaself

Ma/Mag/Magma/Magmas/Magmaself

Vol/Volca/Volcano/Volcanos/Volcanoself

He/Hea/Heat/Heats/Heatself

Hell/Hellfie/Hellfire/Hellfires/Hellfireself

Hot/Hotco/Hotcoal/Hotcoals/Hotcoalself

Spa/Spar/Spark/Sparks/Sparkself

Bu/Bur/Burn/Burns/Burnself

Bla/Blaz/Blaze/Blazes/Blazeself

Bla/Blas/Blast/Blasts/Blastself

Bo/Bonfi/Bonfire/Bonfires/Bonfireself

Ig/Igni/Ignite/Ignites/Igniteself

In/Infer/Inferno/Infernos/Infernoself

In/Infer/Infernal/Infernals/Infernalself

Incin/Inciner/Incinerate/Incinerates/Incinerateself

Obi/Obsid/Obsidian/Obsidians/Obsidianself

Oxy/Oxyge/Oxygen/Oxygens/Oxygenself

War/Warm/Warmth/Warmths/Warmthself

Wild/Wildfir/Wildfire/Wildfires/Wildfireself

Wood/Woodfir/Woodfire/Woodfires/Woofireself

Sco/Scor/Scorch/Scorchs/Scorchself

Ser/Sera/Seraphim/Seraphims/Seraphimself

So/Soo/Soot/Soots/Sootself

Smo/Smok/Smoke/Smokes/Smokeself

Smo/Smoul/Smoulder/Smoulders/Smoulderself

Py/Pyr/Pyro/Pyros/Pyroself

Py/Pyr/Pyre/Pyres/Pyreself

Phoe/Phoen/Phoenix/Phoenixs/Phoenixself

To/Tor/Torch/Torchs/Torchself

Com/Combust/Combustion/Combusts/Combustionself

Ca/Campfi/Campfire/Campfires/Campfireself

Co/Coa/Coal/Coals/Coalself

Char/Charco/Charcoal/Charcoals/Charcoalself

Cre/Crem/Cremate/Cremates/Cremateself

🔥/🔥's

💥/💥's

🐦‍🔥/🐦‍🔥's

❤️‍🔥/❤️‍🔥's

☄️/☄️'s

🌋/🌋's

🏜/🏜's

🕯/🕯's

☀/☀'s

🌟/🌟's

⭐/⭐'s

Titles:

(X) Who Burns

The Pyromaniac

The Phoenix

Risen From The Ashes

Born From The Flames

Born From Hellfire

Dancing In The Flames

The Firestorm

The Incinerated

(X) Who Commits Arson

The Fire Dancer

The Lava Dancer

The Volcano Guardian

Guardian of The Flames

The Flame-Winged

(X) Who Will Never Burn

Names:

Fem: Aine, Adara, Alinta, Anala, Apollonia, Aguya, Arpina, Brenda, Bedelia, Caldia, Cyra, Cemre, Cinder, Enya, Fiamma, Fiametta, Helene, Homura, Hinata, Hinoka, Helia, Hestia, Kenina, Kaede, Kyra, Keahi, Kamala, Kalinda, Kenna, Mirri, Mehri, McKenna, Narine, Noora, Pele, Pyraxia, Pyrena, Piret, Oriane, Seraphina, Starfire, Savita, Sunniva, Solana, Tana, Tinna, Vesta, Zinara,

Masc: Afi, Aodh, Ashbel, Apollo, Anatole, Aarush, Aidan, Aiden, Blaze, Blayze, Blaise, Brando, Brantley, Branton, Brent, Brenton, Conleth, Conley, Cole, Cyrus, Egan, Eilidh, Elio, Finlo, Fintan, Fuji, Flint, Haco, Hagan, Hakan, Hayden, Heilos, Heulfryn, Horus, Hugh, Hugo, Ignacio, Ignatius, Inigo, Ishaan, Kai, Kindle, Kaen, Kenneth, Keegan, Kiran, Kwasi, McCoy, Pyrrhus, Ra, Rhys, Sampson, Tyson, Vulcan,

Neu: Ardere, Aizel, Adan, Akosua, Ashfall, Aithne, Agni, Adish, Azar, Ash, Baskara, Brigid, Cymbeline, Ember, Eldis, Edan, Ignus, Iskra, Liekki, Mashal, Nuri, Pheonix, Pyro, Pyre, Surya, Sulien, Solaris, Sol, Seraph, Seraphin, Sol, Soleil, Sunfire, Tanwen, Uri, Ugnè, Xipil,

Genders:

Lavanatomic - A gender under the anatomic system(link), related to lava, anatomy, the "anatomy" of lava and molten rock, the anatomy of something or someone being made up of lava, having anatomy made of lava and so on.

Firegender - Firegender is a xenogender identity in which one's gender is in a constant state of change but never truly extinguishes. It is aesthetically linked to fire as a visual metaphor or symbol.

Fiergender - Fiergender [fier coming from the word 'fiery'] is a gender related to the colours red and orange, fire, foxes, anger, and heat. This gender may feel hot, angry/annoyed, and fiery.

Infernvambatic - A gender identity related to fire and vampire bats; vampire bats that are on fire; vampire bats with fire magic; the emoji combo 🔥🦇🔥; etc...

Burninglogic - .+ a gender related to the log/wood emoji (🪵), and the fire emoji (🔥) in some way. could be the emojis on their own, the smell of campires/burning wood, the aesthetic of wood and fire, etc.

CandLitScentic - A scentic gender related to the aroma of lit candles, scented or not, the smell of a burning wick and melting wax is heavily tied to one's gender.

Firedeity - a gender connected to fire and deities, a deity associated with fire, or a deity of fire.

Ragefiric - a gender relating to raging fires, of course! one may also connect with fiery tempers or things getting burnt

Sunfiregender - a gender related to the sun and fire somehow! could be about how the sun is sometimes called a ball of fire, could be related to setting fires with sunlight, just suns and fires separately, whatever! 

Volcanogender/Lavagender/Magmagender - A gender that is dormant most of the time but sometimes erupts with extreme heat and intensity, similar to how volcanoes erupt. It can be used by itself or combined with other terms, e.g. volcanoboy, volcanogirl, volcanononbinary, etc.

Pyrapanthic - A combination of pyrogender and catgender, in which your gender is connected to big cats, fire, and the way that both are violent/aggressive in nature but aren't "bad" for being that way, they just are.

Lavagender - For a few days it’ll be a stable gender, nice and consistent. But after a while it turns into something completely different. And then that something will change into another thing that’s completely different after a few days time again.

PyromaniEnigmatic - an -enigmatic gender that relates to ones pyromania, being hard to fully understand and deal with, smoke and flames from the urges of pyromania obscuring clear vision and understanding of ones gender and ones pyromania being so deeply tied to ones gender that t becomes hard to understand it from any other angle but by the light of a burning flame.

Pyrofluid - A gender defined by a strong fire aesthetic, like pyrogender, but in this case a person can change between feeling “warm” and feeling “cold” about their gender. A pyrogender person always "feels warm" about the gender, it may just dwindle but never extinguish. Pyrofluid people can “feel cold”, and when that happens it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll be agender or on the agender spectrum. It may just mean that they end up feeling apathetic about their gender, not wanting to think about it.

[mundotakuafora]

Olá sou Mex e hoje vou te ensinar um pouco a respeito de um jogo chamado Genshin Impact

Genshin Impact conhecido pelos seus efeitos gráficos e grande variedade de personagens (91), sendo criado pela HOYOVERSE que tem 4 jogos sendo: Honkai: Star Rail, tears of Themis e Honkai Impact 3rd.

Eu so jogo Genshin Impact e nunca joguei os outros pois não tenho interesse mas parecem bem legais.

Genshin Impact e um jogo de magia e 7 elementos seus nomes são: Anemo (ar), Geo (terra), Electro (eletricidade), Dendro (planta), Cryo (gelo), Pyro (fogo) e Hydro (água).

Nesse universo tem um mundo que é se chamado Teyvat que é aonde nosso personagem está, e também a deuses desses elementos não irei falar muito sobre isso pois isso é só uma apresentação sobre o jogo sem spoiler.

Mas a HOYOVERSE tem um problema por genshin estar fazendo mais personagens que tem um tema tropical inspirado em pessoas negras, eles não colocaram a pele negra e sim pele branca e realmente foram inspirados em personagens negros da vida real, fazendo muitas pessoas da comunidade acharem que a HOYOVERSE é racista desde o início do jogo, por ter só 3 personagens negros de 91 brancos

O jogo é um RPG e gacha (sorteos aleatorios com personagens) tendo também uma forma multi-player podendo você ou outras pessoas entrarem no seu mundo ou vice-versa. Além de ser multi-player também tem como você matar monstros e você precisa para melhorar seus personagens e armas quem tem 5 tipos: catalisador (como se fosse um livro de magia), espadão, espada, arco e lança.

Mas você já terá alguns personagens no início. Aviso se você for jogar esse jogo cuidado aonde passa na minha primeira vez eu cai em um buraco com um monstro muito mais forte do que eu e quase morri, e não explore outras áreas antes de chegar a hora no modo história pois assim você pode danificar a experiência só se você tiver personagens que precisem ser usados e os itens estiverem naquela área

Também tem como os personagens funcionam, tem alguns que são categorizados com 5 estrelas ou 4 estrelas, sempre os 5 estrelas são mais fortes e tem como pegar em cartaz no jogo que aparecem em 30 dias 2 5 estrelas e 3 4 estrelas, e para você pegar você precisa ter uma coisa ela se chama oração( não literalmente) você consegue comprar ou você ganha aqui temos um exemplo

Você pode tentar 1 vez ou mais que nem ali está tentar 1 vez ou 10 mas saiba que é mais caro, então recomendo juntar bastante para quando você quiser um personagem você conseguir.

[gaycrackheadraccoon]

aca n yuo rite fire alarmm x reeder peles

hambergarger

✨ Being besties with Pyro Headcannons ✨

In order for you to become friends with pyro you would have to end up being a merc

Maybe you were good friends with engi before you got closer with them, Dell probably introduced them and taught you how to understand the muffled speech they use as communication

Or maybe you reached out to them first, being a kind person you offered to help them move their new gas canisters from the garage to their room, perhaps you complemented his ballonicorn

or you're a murderous arsonist

But anyway, regardless of how you two befriend each other. This. Man. Is. Hooked.

Every afternoon on a cease fire is a tea party afternoon. Point-blank.

I mean, sure, the tea is imaginary, but It's real to them

Sleep-overs are a MUST, they love making pillow forts, watching movies, singing poorly pronounced karaoke, and giggling along to scary stories :)

Pyro loves baking, but they're not fantastic at it. So that's where you come in! (Honestly, just make sure they don't put the cake in the oven for five hours)

Not only are they an ultimate best friend, but they're an ultimate protector too

They'll always be looking out for you on the battlefield and are always ready to melt the flesh off of anyone who try to even brush against you :3

It'll will mean the world to them if you stand up to Scout or Solider (anyone really) when they make rude remarks about them, cheering you on as you break Scouts nose possibly his small dick to

They're very clingy once they're close to you, they love to hold hands, cuddle, and give you hugs <3

they totally wouldn't think of the three of you as a family if you started dating engi, and they totally don't encourage it at any time or place, absolutely not-

Anyway, a solid bestie 9/10

pizza balls garanion abagotila i sick and feel like god

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

"That is where we begin — in the fires of creation."

Sebastian snorted.  “Rather a flowery way of putting it.  But I suppose you have a point.  Ancient volcanoes contributed to the formation of landmasses, oceans and our atmosphere.  They could certainly contribute more if we properly harnessed geo-thermal energy, but – “

“Oh, stuff it, Shaw.  This is a National Geographic moment, not Wall Street Journal.  And Haven can be as flowery as she likes.  I like flowery.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed.”

“To be honest,” Haven said, “ I was really thinking of the Hawaiian goddess Pele, whose spirit is said to inhabit this caldera.  She is said to be the creator of the islands.  Which isn’t that far from the truth, as you say, Sebastian.  I think the merging of science and myth is really quite interesting.  These stories didn’t come from nowhere, they grew out of earlier people’s understanding of the world – and I think they understood more than we give them credit for – “

Haven broke off, as Pryo was striding forward, towards the edge of the crater and down towards the inviting orange glow.

“St John, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“She’ll be right,” Pyro tossed back carelessly.  He’d walked right past the warning signs.  Those were for humans, as far as he was concerned.  Not for mutants with fire control and extreme heat resistance and an emergency back-up cloning system that guaranteed them virtual immortality. 

Pyro needed to be close.  His eyes were fixed on the bubbling orange lake at the bottom of the crater, glowing beautifully hot from the most recent eruption.  Actual molten rock.  It was glorious.  Not fire, exactly, but close enough that it prickled at his mind the way real fire always did.  He imagined diving in and swimming through the molten lake, except he’d heard that lava was much thicker than water, so it would be more like flailing around in pudding.  Also he’d die horribly.

Most of the other mutants didn’t understand.  Being an elemental controller – not creator, but controller – meant that part of the world was always reaching out towards him.  He was always aware of fire in his vicinity, flickering in his consciousness, calling to him.  Dom sort of got it.  Dom would happily run his hands through freshly tilled soil, said it “grounded him.”  Pun intended.  Maybe Iceman got it, although he seemed more interested in making his own ice than any kinship with a glacier.  Storm.  Storm the weather goddess would definitely understand. 

Lost in thought, Pyro barely noticed that his movements were growing sluggish and clumsy.  His vision went white, and he pitched forward – only to be pulled back and upwards by a strong pair of hands. 

Moments later, Pyro’s vision faded back in, and he realized he was lying on his back on the rocks, his head propped up on something soft.  Haven was peering down at him.

“Are you all right?”

“I….what?”  His head was pounding.  Pyro realized, from the angle and the feel of cloth under him, that his head was resting in Haven’s lap. 

It was strangely comforting.  Then Sebastian loomed over him, and that happy little spell was broken.

“You blundered your way into a carbon dioxide pocket.  Which the sign warned about quite clearly.  Ms. Dastoor pulled you up to safety rather than letting you reap the consequences of your own stupidity.  Lucky for you both that you’re a spindly fawn of a man, Allerdyce, or your weight might have pulled you both over.”

Sebastian sounded detached, just the usual mix of disdain and annoyance he usually aimed at Pyro.  But Pyro felt his face burning with shame.  It would have been fine if it was just him.  Maybe a little embarrassing, maybe Dom and Freddy would razz him about it.  But Haven wouldn’t have come back. 

“Thanks luv,” he said, putting a hand up to clumsily pat her shoulder.  ‘You shouldn’t have.  Not worth the risk.  Just let me be stupid next time.” 

“Oh, there’s no need to worry about that, Allerdyce.  I have the solution to your brainless and impulsive nature.”  Sebastian pulled something out of his jacket and held it up with a sneer. 

It was a toddler leash. 

OOC: Why does Sebastian even have that?  I don’t know.  It’s probably a sex thing.  (A sex thing involving only full grown adults, obviously.)  Why are they in Hawai’i at the Kīlauea Caldera?  I’m gonna say vacation.  Pyro is absolutely wearing khaki shorts and a loud red Hawaiian shirt.  Don't mind me, I'm just answering asks from TWO YEARS ago that you've probably forgotten by now.

[crownedflora]

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄  !

List your fav characters from 10 different fandoms and tag 10 people.

The actual contents are under read-more because of spoiler raisins and-and-and...!!! ...Wait, what was I saying? I legit spaced out and lost my- 

NO, WAIT, I ‘MEMBER NOW! Aside from the length of the post itself, the read-more is also dedicated to my absolutely mortifying behavior that’ll be involved in this post and regret including here later, probably. 

A Hat in Time - Badge Seller, C.A.W Agents, DJ Grooves, The Conductor, The Empress, The Snatcher, Walrus Captain, White Seal Crew 

Dota 2 - Aghanim, Auroth, Beatrix (GUN GRANDMA), Donté, Hoodwink, Mireska, Mortimer, Nerif, Raigor, Rubick, Valora, Zet Okay, me stop here for this one.

Dragalia Lost - Euden, Euden, Euden, Euden, Euden, and Euden. Oh, and did I mention Euden? yes henlo are there any Eudens out there that are interested in interacting with my botanical boy? Preferably ones that involve in-game events/character arcs and Dragalia Life comics (especially/specifically if the Euden finds my flower child cute) in their portrayals for serious, crack, fluff, angst, or anything in between (4th wall-breaking and meta/gameplay-based shenanigans and/or interactions may also likely apply). Monster lovers/[redacted] that happen to muse this (too) nice-and-friendly prince/king man, please DO apply. In spite of previous sentence, intimate platonic ship full of the aforementioned stuff is the main goal. ...For here at least. Anything beyond that is a HUMONGOUS bonus (how do I black out a portion of text on here like a spoiler mark/tag??? I feel so exposed even though I did this to myself. ohgoddon’tlookatme.  I SAID STOP IT!)!!! Anyway, time for the rest of the list: Akasha, Alberius, Albert, Aldred, Brunhilda (Pre-Euden mainly/only tbh. Shocking considering what’s been said, right?), Cat Sìth, Chelle, Chthonius, Ciella, Delphi, Epimetheus, Eugene, Grace, Ieyasu, Leif, Lowen, Mascula (I know I’m super late with this but my lack of access to [INSERT ACCOUNT/PLATFORM] on top of everything else means I can express it here now- YEEESSS!!! ADVENTURER MASCULA IS REAL!!!! EAT IT, NAYSAYERS! EAT. IT!!!! HedidcostmemoreofmystashthatstillneededtoberecoveredsinceIhadtosparkforhimtho. Cygames, PLEASE, HAVEMERCY!!!) , Meene, Melsa, Nedrick (yes henlo are ther), Nevin, Noelle, Notte, Odetta, Pele, Prometheus, Seimei, Silke, Siren, Tartarus (Bro, I finally get around to semi-consistently soloing you on Master difficulty and now I’m broke af from trying to MUB all the Light Agito weapons. I HAVE MORE POWER NOW BUT AT THE PRICE OF BEING POOR. HELP-) Yaten, Yoshitsune (GUN GRANDMA!), Zodiark- No, I’m sorry, even if it PAINS me to leave out plenty more names that are left to list here (-sniffle- I’m sorry my beloveds), I HAVE to stop there for DL.

Genshin Impact - Albedo, Aether/Traveler, Bennett, Chongyun, Dvalin, Klee, Madame Ping, Paimon, Qiqi, Rosaria, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Venti, Zhongli

Hades - Asterius, Chaos, Charon, Demeter, Dusa, Eurydice, Hades, Hermes, Megaera, Nyx, Persephone, Skelly, Thanatos, Zagreus 

Overwatch (I forgot to buy all the now-cheaper old event skins I lacked before the Anni event ended nooooo-) - Ana (GUN GRAAANDMAAAAAA!!!!!), Bastion, Brigitte, Dae-hyun, Genji, Hammond, Hana, Jamison, Lena, Mako, Mei, Moira, Olivia, Orisa, Seung-hwa, Winston 

Shovel Knight - King Knight, (King Knight’s) Mom, Oolong, Plague Knight, Specter Knight, Treasure Knight

SINoALICE (so far) - Dullahan, Gretel, Pinnocchio, Sleeping Beauty

StarCraft (2) - Abathur, Alarak, Dehaka, Talandar, Tychus, Zagara, Zeratul

Team Fortress 2 (The current state of this and a majority of other Valve’s games/IPs saddens and infuriates me. Blizzard games/IPs, too. Ugh...) - Jeremy, Ludwig, Pauling, Pyro, Spy

TAGGED BY :  @toestalucia MY GRATITUDE, FELLOW MC/PROTAG ENJOYER!!!

TAGGING :  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

[amish-astronaut]

Young Thug - Wyclef Jean from Pomp&Clout on Vimeo.

"Co-Directed" by Ryan Staake & Young Thug

Production Companies: Pomp&Clout x Freenjoy EPs: Ryan Staake, Ryen Bartlett & Nathan Scherrer Producer: Jeff Kopchia Head of Production: Kevin Staake Director of Photography: Trevor Wineman

Editors: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini VFX Supervisor: Aaron Vinton Lead VFX/3D: Pete Puskas VFX Touchups: Eric Degliomini & Ryan Staake Colorist: David Torcivia Audio Edit: Aaron Vinton Voice on Recording: John Colombo Rotoscoping: 3D Services India Typeface: GT Sectra

Production Manager: Nathaniel Dueber Production Coordinator: Jimmy Stannard 1st AD: Erik Mateo 2nd AD: Anthony Hayward Casting Director: Michael Stonewall Beaudry Production Designer: Clayton Beisner Art Director: Pele Kudren Set Dresser: Greg Shultz Set Dec Shopper: Philip Steiger 1st AC: Alicia Pharris 2nd AC: Erin Naifeh B CAM OP: Bret Watkins B CAM AC: Erick Aguilar DIT: Mike Halper VTR: Chris Warren Techno Dolly Tech: Adam Francis Techno Dolly Op: Paul Maples Gaffer: Mike Misslin Best Boy Electric: Garett Williams Electric: Joel Gill Key Grip: Nick Bodkin Best Boy Grip: Josh Smith Grip: Sean Burris Grip Driver: Randy Crisco Stylist: Bo Roses Hair: Priscilla Nguyen Makeup: Julie Dinh Pyro Tech: Erick Hicks Truck PA: Ted Keffer Set PA: Freddy Mendez Set PA: Patricia Ramirez Driver PA: Zac Grado Moho Driver: Rusty

Kid Cops: Roman George Steven Thomas Corey Jackson

Girls: Sharifa Bailey Alexis Paton Stephanie Chukwoucha Melissa Moore Jacqueline Cohen Emily Gruen Blaire Hampton Saiyda Bey Danica Cooper Jasmine Macken Shakina Greene Ella Moore Kathaleen Fisher Sylvia Kochinski Brandi Lawrence Meica Bradshaw Ermaline Ogbodo Jessica Harris Kaleila Jordan Nicole Ballantine Skylar Roberge Vanessa Stewart

[hccwproductions-blog]

Royal Rumble Finale

The Staples Center came unglued, and everyone in the ring stopped dead in their tracks, as #40 was the HCCW Return of The Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar. Downtown Los Angeles had just been transformed into Suplex City!

Paul Heyman came out first, doing his signature strut, and close behind came Brock Lesnar. He did his usual jig, and his pyro shot off, as Lesnar stalked his way down to the ring.

AJ Styles, Charlotte, Crazzy Steve, Rosemary, Abyss, Kenny Omega, Sister Abigail, Sami Zayn, Corey Graves, Becky Lynch, Finn Balor, Drew Galloway, Ember Moon, Seth Rollins, Rusev, and now Brock Lesnar. One of these competitors would be walking out of LA the winner of the Royal Rumble, and would be headlining WrestleFest!

Lesnar got into the ring, and the first person to confront him was Crazzy Steve. Lesnar caught Steve in a Belly to Belly Suplex and tossed him out!

Crazzy Steve has been eliminated!

Rosemary charged Lesnar, but met a similar fate, Belly to Belly out of the ring!

Rosemary has been eliminated!

Lesnar ducked a clothesline from Abyss, and then turned around, clotheslining Abyss over the top rope and down to the floor!

Abyss has been eliminated!

Within seconds, Brock Lesnar had eradicated Decay from the Rumble! Lesnar turned around, just in time to duck a Finn Balor clothesline, and slid behind Balor, throwing him with a German Suplex! Abigail was the next to try and attack Lesnar, but she was met with a German Suplex of her own! Rusev tried to hit Lesnar with a Matchka Kick, but Lesnar ducked under that and threw Rusev with a German as well! Styles was the next man to try and come at Lesnar, and Lesnar tried to German him too, but Styles landed on his feet! Styles grabbed Lesnar as Lesnar tried to get back up, and tried to hit the Styles Clash, but Lesnar lifted him up and planted him with an F-5!

Galloway charged Lesnar next, but Lesnar scooped Galloway up, and tossed him over the top rope with an F-5!

Drew Galloway has been eliminated!

Lesnar was on an absolute tear here! Eliminating four potential favorites in this matchup. Lesnar turned his attention to Sami Zayn, who was struggling to get up in the corner. Lesnar laughed at Zayn, and challenged him to bring it, and the taunting pissed of the always head-strong Sami Zayn. Zayn charged Lesnar, but Lesnar dropped him with a clothesline, ending any sort of attack Sami had been planning. Kenny Omega dipped out under the bottom rope, and hid underneath the ring with the Young Bucks, out of Lesnar’s path.

Suddenly, Down the ramp came JT Dunn and Sami Callihan, both of them brandishing lead pipes! Galloway’s faction mates in DCC were headed down to the ring! Lesnar turned his attention to them, but didn’t see Galloway coming from behind with a pipe of his own! Galloway drilled Lesnar in the back of the head with the lead pipe!

Sami and JT slid into the ring and began to help Drew beat down The Beast. Then, the three of them lifted Lesnar up, and handed him to Drew, who planted Lesnar with the Future Shock DDT! The crowd booed, as DCC were no longer in this match, but interfering anyways. The three men lifted Lesnar up and dumped his unconscious body over the top rope!

Brock Lesnar has been eliminated!

With Lesnar gone, the DCC left, having done what they came to do. AJ Styles, Charlotte, Kenny Omega, Sister Abigail, Sami Zayn, Becky Lynch, Corey Graves, Finn Balor, Ember Moon, Seth Rollins, and Rusev remained, one of these superstars would be moving on to the main event of WrestleFest!

AJ Styles and Kenny Omega locked up in one corner, Sister Abigail and Ember Moon did battle in another, Finn Balor was ducking and weaving around Rusev, Seth Rollins and Sami Zayn were teaming up on Corey Graves, trying to eliminate him, and Becky Lynch and Charlotte were going back and fourth in an uninhabited corner. Abigail had Ember Moon up on the top turnbuckle, knocking to knock her over and out of the ring, but Ember wasn’t having any of it. Ember starting delivering elbows to the head of Abigail until she released her grip, and then caught Abigail with a kick right to the jaw! Abigail staggered backwards, and Ember measured her, jumping off the top rope and going for her Eclipse!

Ember jumped at Abigail, but Abigail caught her! Abigail tossed Ember Moon over the top rope!

Ember Moon has been eliminated!

Abigail had eight eliminations! The most in this Rumble match, and possibly nearing in on Roman’s record of twelve. Abigail turned around, to look where she could cause destruction next, but she was caught with a Superkick by AJ Styles, knocking her over!

Sister Abigail has been Eliminated!

AJ Styles just eliminated the woman who had been his life hell over the last few months! But before he could celebrate, Kenny Omega grabbed him and tossed him over!

AJ Styles has been eliminated!

AJ Styles had wrestled well over an hour and twenty minutes, starting all the way at the #1 spot, and he’d finally been eliminated by Kenny Omega, so close to the end of the match! Charlotte, Kenny, Sami, Finn, Corey, Becky, Seth, and Rusev were the final eight in this match up, only one of them, however, could move on to the main event of WrestleFest! Charlotte had survived since the #4 spot, and had just crossed over an hour and 15 minutes in this match, for Kenny this was his HCCW Debut, Sami was trying to get into the main event spot that he had had his fingertips on all year, Corey was trying to get back to his former spotlight in the main event picture, Becky was trying to get her title back from Alexa, Seth, after being screwed over in a title match last month wanted another chance, Rusev was looking to avenge his title loss earlier in the night with a trip to the Wrestlefest Main event, and Finn Balor was in this to finally get his long awaited world title shot.

Balor turned his attention away from Rusev for a moment, to see Corey creeping up from behind, looking for a chance to eliminate either of the two men. Finn ducked a Rusev punch, and ran at Corey, catching and planting him with a Sling Blade. Finn charged back at Rusev, but was leveled with a massive clothesline! Rusev turned just in time to see Rollins charging at him! These two had history, Rusev was the one to unseat Rollins as the Elite Champion earlier in the year. Rollins jumped on Rusev and tried to plant him with a jumping DDT, but Rusev caught him, and dropped Seth gut-first on the top rope! Rusev followed it up with a Machka Kick, knocking Seth to the floor!

Seth Rollins has been eliminated!

Seven men remained! Corey and Finn were doing battle in the middle of the ring, Finn catching Corey with several low kicks, before Corey caught him with a straight right hand. Finn was knocked for a loop, but suddenly fell backwards and nailed Corey with a Pele Kick! Corey was stunned, and Finn picked him up, planting him with Bloody Sunday! Corey got up, holding his head, and Finn ran into him, knocking him over the top rope with a dropkick!

Corey Graves has been eliminated!

On the other side of the ring, Becky and Charlotte were still going at it. Charlotte tried to catch Becky with a neckbreaker, but Becky turned it around into a neckbreaker of her own! Becky planted Charlotte, but suddenly, she was grabbed from behind by Rusev! Rusev lifted her up and placed her on the apron, and told her to get down. Becky just glared at Rusev, before slapping him in the face, and nailing him with a Superkick! Rusev fell backwards, but before Becky could get back in the ring, she was caught with a big boot from Charlotte! Becky was dazed, but desperately hung on to the rope, but then Charlotte delivered a kick right to Becky’s hand, causing her to let go and fall to the floor!

Becky Lynch has been eliminated!

Becky laid on the floor, in disbelief. She had come so close to winning the Royal Rumble match, and getting another shot at Alexa. Charlotte looked out to the floor, almost apologetically at Becky, but suddenly, from behind, Kenny Omega dumped her over the top rope!

Charlotte has been eliminated!

Kenny managed to eliminated Charlotte, and now, we were down to four men! Kenny Omega, Rusev, Finn Balor, and Sami Zayn. One of these four men would be moving on to the main event of Wrestlefest, to take on the World Heavyweight Champion! Each man perched himself in a corner, glancing up at the Wrestlefest sign. Suddenly, before Rusev could notice it, Sami Zayn charged Rusev and nailed him with a Helluva Kick! Rusev staggered out of this corner, but was caught with a shotgun dropkick from Finn Balor, knocking him back into the corner, which caused him to roll out into the middle of the ring. Finn Balor quickly climbed to the top rope, looking to hit Rusev with Coup De Grace!

*GONG*

Suddenly, the tolling of a bell interrupted the competitors in the ring, as the lights in the arena went off. Balor stayed perched on the top rope, watching the titantron, as his name suddenly appeared on the tron. The name was on a gravestone, showing his date of birth, and also the day he “died”. The death date was the same day as WrestleFest.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck the tombstone, which lit it on fire. Balor couldn’t take his eyes away from the tron, even as the lights came back up. Suddenly, Kenny ran over and pushed Finn off the top rope and down to the floor!

Finn Balor has been eliminated!

Three men remained now! Sami Zayn, Rusev, and Kenny Omega. Omega had a large grin on his face as he stared down Rusev and Zayn, and then he pointed finger guns at the two of them. The Young Bucks, Matt and Nick Jackson, slid into the ring with Kenny. Kenny made a shooting motion at both Sami and Rusev, before the Bucks launched a superkick at both of them. Both men caught the kicks, however, threw the Bucks’s legs down, and dropped the Bucks with a pair of Superkicks! Kenny suddenly looked worried, as both Sami Zayn and Rusev now started down Kenny. They looked at each other, nodded, and then dropped Kenny with a double superkick!

Just as the two men recovered from the move, Rusev grabbed Zayn, and lifted him up high, trying to throw him over to eliminate him, but Sami turned the move into a headscissors throw, tossing Rusev over the top and down to the floor!

Rusev has been eliminated!

Sami got back to his feet, but was suddenly grabbed from behind by Kenny and lifted into an electric chair! Kenny grabbed Sami’s head, and planted him into the mat with One Winged Angel! Zayn looked to be out cold! Kenny picked Zayn up, and held him by the head, before pointing at the WrestleFest sign. Kenny looked at Sami Zayn one more time, and uttered his famous catchphrase.

“Goodbye, and Goodnight!”

Kenny went to throw Sami over the top rope, but Sami reserved it and threw Kenny over instead!

Kenny Omega has been eliminated!

Sami Zayn has won the Royal Rumble! Sami Zayn is going to WrestleFest!

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - Formulaic Everyone-Gets-a-spot Multi-man Filler Material

It’s getting to look a lot like Wrestlemania...

Transmission date: Monday 27/Tuesday 28 March 2017

.

back on something approaching schedule for once (mania is in two days), let's crack open some FRIDAY AFTERNOON RAW! .

i mean, technically mania weekend starts tonight with the hall of fame, but fuck that noise .

the standard wwe intro has been overriden by a dramatic wyatt-style video collage to taker's music .

because it's mania season, so we need to remind you that the undertaker is important and cool .

and then roll normal titles, slightly ruining the effect .

holy shit that's a lot of pyro .

like, even more than usual .

we're in the wells fargo centre in philadelphia, which a couple years ago would have been a big event venue, but now we're there for a warmup show

.

apparently the things tonight are seth signing a please-fuck-me-up form and brock and goldberg talking about absurdist theatre .

or possibly fighting .

who can say .

in any case, here's bayley .

oh, apparently they've made the 4-way an elimination match .

cole claims that making it elimination-style makes it harder for bayley to win, despite the fact that this is objectively untrue .

bayley opens with just doing some hype about mania .

she's so excited .

wearing an ultimate warrior shirt, stumbling over her words a lot, and pointing at the sign every other sentence .

starts talking about the match, hit charlotte's music

.

i get the feeling the whole show is going to be like this .

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WILL BE THERE AND WHY YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT THEM BE EXCITED KTHXBAI .

the bit of charlotte's top you can see under where her robe fastens looks like she's wearing the big gold belt .

wonder if that's intentional .

charlotte is here to talk smack about sasha for being the manipulative bitch

.

i thought we were meant to think john cena is, and bayley for being an adorable sucker .

charlotte pulls up a tweet from nxt-era bitch sasha to prove her point .

crowd take this as an opportunity for a punk chant for some reason .

and here comes sasha .

like the fuck are you doing that tweet was from 2015 catch up .

sasha's hair is even more purple than usual .

she gets a succinct bit about how her and bayley know how to separate friendship and business and they're gonna fight for the title, cue nia's totally unexpected entrance .

gets a crack at these three for trading the title .

charlotte does a crack about how nia even being there is sasha's fault, sasha goes for her, cue brawl .

apparently this will have resolved into a tag match by the end of this ad break .

but in the meantime, have this mania advert .

fuck off, pitbull .

we know it's this weekend .

(i can't lie, i actually really like that song) .

so yes, this is a match now .

which sasha and charlotte immediately take outside .

apparently this is "every women for themself" .

[sic] .

gj, cole .

nia tags in, sasha takes the inoki-school defence of 'just kick them in the fucking legs whenever possible' .

tag switch, charlotte commences to kicking the crap out bf bayley .

who runs away and tags in sasha .

not looking super strong as a champion there .

sasha's hair is so violently purple that it's making it look like my screen's screwing up .

i like it .

it's like sume kind of superpowered mega-purple .

hyperple .

ooh, single leg backbreaker hold from charlotte there .

not sure i've seen that one before .

i mean, it's no neville/ali match for cool new moves, but still .

(that match was so good) .

(seriously, watch 205) .

(just try not to think too hard about what happened to gran metalik) .

sasha dives off the apron to nia, gets caught, then nia kind of weirdly stumbles and knocks herself out .

NIA hurt itself in its confusion! .

meanwhile, bayley hits a bayley to belly for the pin .

her and sasha celebrate a bit, then nia coldcocks them, leg drops sasha, samoan drops bayley, bodychecks charlotte, and grabs the belt .

ooh, good heel heat there .

dramatic replay reminds us all that the bayley to belly is possibly the most underwhelming finisher in this company .

but now we have a recap package of Mr Rollins and his Superfluous Crutch .

oh, apparently that was a steel crutch .

do wrestling announcers know that there are other metals? .

everything is steel, gold, or nothing .

so yes, later we have the waiver .

after a prerecorded new day bit .

featuring xavier losing his motivation .

oh, it's a snickers advert .

and now we have a hall of fame package to remind us who everyone is this year .

no byron, nobody is going to watch the red carpet preshow .

you and maria menounos could be roasting the unacknowledged mcmahon child on a spit, i still wouldn't give a shit .

and now for...MORE RECAPS! .

this time, it's steph firing mick .

cut from that to charly interviewing sami? .

oh yeah, cos he was like his protégé .

apparently we have to continue mick's legacy and honour his memory .

dude, he's not dead .

and sami uses this as an intro to entering the andre battle royal and dedicating his victory to mick .

steph appears behind him like um excuse me what .

because we're now in the era when people have to earn matches .

so let's take this to its logical conclusion .

sami/owens later on, no dq, if sami wins he gets his battle royal spot, if not, he's fired .

perhaps a touch of an overreaction there, steph? .

but now it's cruiserweight time .

neville on announce in full glower mode .

jojo fucks up how you pronounce 'milwaukee' .

so yes, now we have austin aries vs Armcandy Supernova .

(he's getting that name change paperwork put through) .

(until then, it's noam dar) .

noam has had a haircut and/or a proper shave, and i'm finding his tiny baby face disconcerting .

yeah, it's definitely the stubble being gone .

neville's using his announce spot to make sure we all know how little of a hypothetical shit he gives about this match .

neville gives imaginary numbers of shits .

neville: 4i+3.7 shits given .

later neville is fighting jack .

austin does his pendulum elbow, doesn't bother with the theatrics because he knows he's got a hostile announce panel

.

apparently austin encapsulates everything that is wrong with american society .

alicia distracts austin to let him know how much she doesn't like his face .

(her words, not mine) .

austin hits a discus fivearm, then instead of going for a pin, shouts at neville and locks in the last chancery for the tap .

he hasn't done that for a while .

always nice when people have a spare finisher for drama .

austin gets on the turnbuckle and point at the sign, neville gets on the announce table and glowers, end segment .

now for some recap vids of last week's hhh interview .

seth is in the building .

walking backstage with a crutch he may or may not need .

so that's next .

but first, another taker video because THE UNDERTAKER IS TOTALLY AWESOME YOU GUYS .

but yes, now seth is here .

and the ring has sprouted carpet, office chairs, and a cheap table with the weirdest faux-marble finish .

that's kind of distracting, tbh .

seth gets in the ring, immediately calls out hunter, drops the mic .

there's only one mic on the table, which seems ill-prepared .

and here comes the man .

seth's new shirt also says kingslayer on it now .

hunter's pulled a mic from hammerspace .

lets seth know that if he attacks him instead of signing, the match is off .

and also he'll get fucked up .

so seth has to sit down and listen to hunter explain the forms .

god, i love paperwork drama .

seth refuses to sit down, hunter calls the match off and leaves .

gets as far as the ring steps before seth sits in the chair .

hunter comes back, calls him a good boy .

oooooooooooohhhhhhh .

and now he's going into graphic detail about the true extent of just how much he will fuck seth up on sunday .

and how little he will be able to sue people for it .

seth's like yeah dude i get the principle .

hunter is calling out the whole 'success=evil' paradigm that so much of wrestling is based one .

just like fuck you i have more money than god who needs to be a hero .

seth has not yet begun to give a shit .

hunter does a whole bit about how seth is crucifying his career and is not going to become the first one-legged man to win an ass-kicking contest .

which is an image that didn't need anywhere near as much explanation as he gave us just there .

seth's just like dude these are all things you've been telling me for years .

and blames hunter for ruining his self-respect .

seth stands up purely so he can point at the sign when he mentions mania .

seth makes it explicit that this whole angle is about his redemption .

which viewers with half an eye could have noticed .

seth challenges hunter to tear his leg off and beat him with it .

dude, don't give him ideas .

signs the paper, throws it at hunter .

so he kicks the table at him and stamps on his knee .

so unexpected .

side note: somebody needs to track down the guy on front row of hardcam with the IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL HHH HITS YOU WITH A CRUTCH sign and buy him several drinks .

hunter attempts to do just that, seth catches him with a lovely pele kick .

goes for a pedigree, hunter kicks him in the knee, tries to do it to him, gets thrown out, and seth gets the crutch as he scrabbles around on the floor .

that...didn't make a whole lot of sense, but hey .

let's roll on .

oh for fuck's sake, do we really need another in-depth video package dissecting the history of the goldberg/lesnar feud? .

if you haven't got it now... .

but this time they're splitting it up .

that was just about survivor series .

and now a superstar facts interstitial about how cool and totally relevant mark henry is .

and recaps on what happened with seth and hunter before we broke your train of thought with all these recaps .

guys, you can't call it a 'non-sanctioned match' and still have a big graphic advertising it .

great, there's the ugly-ass andre trophy .

and apparently now we have an over the rope challenge .

opening with show .

fucking hell .

i hate warmup shows .

could you tell .

show pauses to gaze deeply at the trophy .

possibly thinking it's a mirror .

hard to say .

and his opponent, jinder mahal .

but yeah, it's an over-the-top-rope gauntlet type thing .

bell rings, show immediately goes for the chokeslam .

either to seem intimidating or because he has no clue how pacing works .

brief scuffle, then show chokes him over the ropes and enter one bo dallas .

where the fuck have you been, bo .

your brother's had one of his episodes .

in the time it took me to type that, bo went out, now here are the shining stars .

both at once, because fuck the premise of this match .

flips them both out, are we done .

and they're followed by goldust, r-truth and curtis axel .

where the holy fuck are all these guys coming from .

they team up on him, along with everyone else coming back, and the seven get him over .

so he comes back in and either magic fists or chokeslams them all .

except golden truth, who run away .

show's music hits, then almost immediately gives way to 

.

BRAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGHHHHH

.

he's here with a mic to tell us how he could totally kick show's ass right now, but he isn't going to because he doesn't feel like it .

points at the sign, then leaves .

so what was the point of all that again? .

"look, guys, we still have an undercard!" .

but now, recaps of the enzo and cass/cesaro and sheamus/gallows and anderson situation .

and now the latter pair are being interviewed by Bland Dude #3 .

they're fighting enzo and cass later .

so cue gallows aping their shtick .

and now more taker videos .

GUYS THE UNDERTAKER IS COMING PLEASE LOVE HIM .

and isn't a wyatt at all .

official announcement that pitbull will be at mania to do this song .

cos god knows we haven't heard it enough .

but now, charly interviews roman about his reaction to all the taker bullshit .

roman doesn't believe in the undertaker .

which will make it very hard to defend against him, i feel .

and now we have the new day opening business at the new york stock exchange .

and arriving in philly just in time to distribute new day pops .

and we have a video diary .

in which they race up the rocky steps .

or kofi and xavier do, while e staggers up them eating bootyos .

and then he teleports to the top ahead of them .

Booty-O's: We Can't Guarantee Their Effects. .

brief announce segue, and now Mike Rohm (fuck, i knew i knew his name) interviews cesaro and sheamus

.

who are also carrying the torch for foley .

so gallows and anderson blindside them and hit them with a ladder .

like you do .

and bury cesaro in crates .

and cut away like welp guess that interview's done .

and now, more cruiserweightery .

neville/gallagher .

jack displaying a fantastic level of anti-glower .

him and neville may annihilate each other out of existence .

he's wearing his watermelon shorts again .

i am enjoying neville's new 'not today, bucko' thing .

neville kicks jack in the stomach, he sells in a way that suggests all laws of physics have been reversed .

neville rolls outside, jack retrieves william iii .

and crotch drops neville from the apron .

so neville just snaps him face-first into the turnbuckle .

seems fair .

don't ram your crotch into my face today, bucko .

and superplex into rings of saturn (still needs a new name) for the tap .

complete with one of jack's amazing submission faces .

corey makes a hugely extended mary poppins joke .

cut to an austin aries news network special broadcast .

it's austin investigating neville's claim that nobody wants austin to win .

so he's asking the new day .

who try and get him to grind with them .

so he does a whole thing like guys i'm a serious journalist .

and then does it anyway .

so the new day endorse him .

now there's a terrifying comedic partnership .

cut to roman mooning around backstage .

apparently he's next .

but not in the goldberg way .

announcement from cena on the today show, about his tag match .

which is smackdown, but whatever .

apparently al roker is going to be their special ring announcer .

i'll be honest, i can't really remember who that is .

so i'll use this brockberg video to look .

and now i know .

but now, here's roman .

is there more stuff i can go and look up instead .

roman, the point of this segment is so you can say words .

the mic has a function .

this shit is why raw is three hours long .

loving the TRADE REIGNS TO TNA signs .

plural .

he mentions winning the rumble, gets even more heel heat .

i'm guessing he's actively going for smug shitheel at this point? .

promising to bring taker down .

claims this is his house .

which does suggest that paige isn't coming back .

or we could have a whole inheritance crisis story .

"this is my house, because this is my yard." .

huh? .

BONG .

taker is only here in the form of a video .

of him digging graves and grimly prophesying roman's death .

we can only hope .

jfc can people stop fitting 'ultimate thrill ride' into every other sentence .

badly-carved gravestone, only has roman's death date on for some reasons .

cmon guys, you could google it .

video ends, BONGs resume .

lights stay down for a bit, then flick up with taker right behind roman .

it's how i like to travel between rooms .

he's here to finish the sentence he didn't in the vt .

dude, it's your catchphrase, we knew where you were going with it .

roman just stands there and does some solid b+ glower .

taker brings the lights back down, more BONGage, and ad break .

network shill about all the cool mania week stuff .

and also bring it to the table and the hall of fame .

and now, we have enzo and cass fighting gallows and anderson .

lucky us .

enzo's wearing a hat and shouting his shtick directly into the faces of children .

your babyfaces, people .

also a nasty white jacket with what looks like the nandos chicken on the back .

enzo starts a spiel, cass steals his hat and continues it .

does lists of the word 'practice' while enzo fills in shouts .

ultimate thrill ride, take a shot of something not nearly as cool as the people around you say it is .

(i'm thinking cuervo) .

anderson and gallows come in halfway through cass spelling it out for us .

and cesaro and sheamus hit them with a ladder .

cesaro's shoulder tape is gone, but his waist is bandaged .

i don't understand his physiology .

and then they beat enzo and cass with the ladder too .

until it backfires .

i like their whole tweener thing, tbh .

gallows and anderson recover, hit cass with the ladder .

and cesaro .

there's only one weapon and they're all just waiting their turn to use it .

they hit enzo off the turnbuckle with it, wolfpac hands, end .

god, i hate pre-mania episodes .

but now, women's history month .

in which some dude talks about maya angelou .

and i sigh so hard i need to clean my lungs off my keyboard .

ugh .

and now charly interviews kevin backstage .

about his upcoming friend-murder matches .

kevin's just like NOPE not my friends you are wrong .

also addresses the whole bit about the real kevin owens last week .

agrees with him making fun of kevin for being a jericho fan, because jericho fans are idiots .

apparently tonight he's going to rip sami up like the list of jericho .

and this is a big opportunity for him to fuck sami up .

dude, you do that more than you eat breakfast .

but next, we have a video package about why the non-sanctioned yet official 3edgy5me match is important .

but first, a bit where we apparently should watch corey interviewing kurt angle on the network .

for which i need a gif of tozawa going NOPE .

.

but yeah, as advertised, a video package of the history of hunter/seth .

including a rare shot of hunter's douchebag ponytail .

which sounds like a new apple cultivar or something .

i'd narrate this, but it's literally just an edit of the entire storyline thus far .

previously on sweaty manfighting club... .

and any joke i could make, i've probably made it at the time .

but we've put metallica over it, so you know it's totally hardcore .

and sure, advertise the bray/randy match .

they really need to decide what the brand split meant .

oh wait, are we just listing all the matches at mania .

excellent padding .

music cuts to bubblegum pop as soon as we start talking about the women's matches .

sigh .

although they're also saying about corbin/ambrose in this section .

he is a pretty princess .

(you can decide who i meant) .

"It just doesn't get any bigger than the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal!" .

which is why we've left it until just before the hosts bbeing the new day in this list .

wow, this card is stacked .

hence the four-day event .

but now we have the murder match now .

which means that Brockberg III: Large Men Pant At Each Other must be our main event .

great .

during sami's intro, they talk about seth/hunter, and corey informs us all that self-loathing is fine if you get to ride in a private jet .

not even owning one, mind you, just riding in somebody's .

bell rings, and fuck the rest of this explanation because it's kevin/sami and you can fill in most of it .

sami goes for the barricade moonsault, kevin just pushes him off it and follows him into the crowd .

like fuck you dude this is hardcore .

starts smacking him into the announce table .

puts sami up on the stage, then learns that there might be something to the whole 'don't cede the high ground to your enemy' thing as he gets toped .

and ad break .

and we come back to kevin ddt'ing sami on the ring steps .

goes for the pin, rather than just murdering him or w/e .

sami counters a cannonball into an exploder, which is a nice little spot .

then goes for a torpedo ddt, and it's...not as good as normal? .

doesn't he usually go under the bottom rope? .

anyway, seemed sloppy .

kevin counters the helluva kick with a superkick into a frog splash .

sami kicks out anyway because he is filled with the spirit of foley .

(also DETERMINATION) .

kevin goes for a popup, sami counters into a blue thunder bomb .

feels like we haven't seen that in a while .

and now, here is samoa joe .

with a chair .

but also jericho .

uses his music to blindside joe and hit him with a chair .

gets shamelessly coldcocked by kevin, but sami manages to pull a rollup out of it for the win .

and then it devolves a bit .

we get to see chris beating kevin with a chair, which has been a long time coming .

joe and kevin retreat with their ragefaces .

chris lets us all know what happens when you betray chris jericho .

side note: i actually quite like the new sparkly jacket .

so yeah, kevin's finally on the list .

the camera tries to show us this, because steadicam guy has no clue what happens when you focus the camera on a white block .

up next, brockberg rolls on like an unstoppable boulder that will doom us all to misery and imminent death .

after an advert for 205 featuring tozawa/kendrick, which cheers me up more .

but yes .

now we have a bouncy man with a dick on his chest who would like you all to know about the controlled substances he has never taken in his life .

also paul .

philadelphia remains all about the ecw chants .

paul casually drops the word extreme into this bit to please the fans .

crowd can't decide whether to do goldberg or suplex city chants .

so most of them are just doing one then the other .

surprisingly civilised .

paul is never as entertaining as when he's actively and directly taking the piss out of fans .

apparently brock lusts after the universal title .

um .

guys .

it's a belt .

maybe don't have this conversation on live global tv .

getting mildly seasick as the steadicam tries to track with brock's swaying .

paul is promising a *"DAY-noo-MWAH" for this story .

fuck you, dude .

maximum heel heat achieved .

don't fuck with french in front of me .

someone does a goldberg chant, paul does a whole bit about it being the last one ever heard on raw .

does a whole thing about goldberg's impending death, starts doing the lord's prayer, then catches himself and does the kaddish instead .

nice moment .

paul's jew jokes are at their best when they're clever and no more than like one every couple months .

but yeah, goldberg's here now .

comes in like fuck it let's fight .

brock gets out fo the ring, bill catches him with a spear .

and then just goes and postures with the belt for a bit .

hit his music again, point at the belt and the sign, end of the show .

thanks for that, anticlimaxberg .

well, that was a shitty pre-mania episode .

join us after the cut for...wait, we get *two* of those every year now? .

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu .

-------------------------

rniture deals now on, at Crazy Selim's Ottoman Warehouse! .

wait, was that the wrong mic? .

i'm starting to understand why i have daniel to do this shit .

in any case, seeing as i'm here anyway (and so are all of you), let's have some SATURDAY MORNING SMACKDOWN! .

this may be displaying more enthusiasm than i have irl .

it's early (for me) and this is going to be another pre-mania setup show .

aaaaaaanyway .

let's fuck this cat .

kicking off with 100% all-natural bryan .

and the standard contract signing office chairs and shitty table .

bryan wants to know if we're ready for mania .

what if we said no? .

well, i guess he was just asking this roomful of people in richmond .

not all of us .

introduces shane, further proving he doesn't care about all of us .

so yeah, that's what this signing is .

the least hype match on a card that contains roman/taker .

aj's entrance music adequately expressing my feelings on this match .

i don't want none .

loving the guy behind shane with a sign saying WHY IS YOUR HAIR SO WET?? IS IT RAINING BACKSTAGE?? .

this crowd are still all about aj, despite him being the heel here .

cos, yknow, fuck shane giving himself mania matches .

i'd say we should just put him in with taker and end both those long-ass stupid runs, but WE ALREADY SHITTING DID THAT .

shane does a speech about how he founded smackdown to be the land of opportunity .

protip, shane: you are not george washington .

shane talks up how great aj is .

which only further emphasises how bullshit this angle is .

shane leads more styles chants, because this is a mania warmup show and we're already creatively bankrupt three minutes in .

shane calls aj out for being arrogant, which is a bit rich coming from a fucking mcmahon .

claims he'll beat aj if he doesn't give him everything he's got .

which is bullshit .

aj could beat him at 10% power .

while asleep .

aj's like dude this is a real wrestling match not your hardcore bullshit what cred do you possibly have .

which is fair .

just goes off on one like dude how many of these bullshit matches have you had .

when will you learn you can't wrestle .

lists people shane's fought for cheap pops .

how you doin .

signs, drops the mic, him and shane get all up in each other's business .

until bryan pulls them apart .

asks them to seal the deal with a handshake, disregarding the fact that they just signed a fucking contract .

aj just walks off .

nobody else gets to touch those lovely gloves .

so .

later we have wyatt/harper (hype) and more forbidden total bellas (not hype) .

or, as jbl called it "Total Divabellas" .

but next, becky/carmella .

medium hype .

after we do the announcement about pitbull again .

and we have alexa and mickie on announce .

mickie wearing new gear, so either her ring gear isn't the star sapphire uniform any more or this is just how she dresses .

enter an ellsworth .

to rile up the crowd .

which he is so good at .

nearly fucks up spelling fabulous .

gj, james .

side note: mauro is still non-existent .

i miss him .

this show could do with some bombast .

carmella pauses the match to give ellsworth her chewing gum .

whcih he eats, because of course .

chances of this match *not* ending in some kind of screwy brawl finish? .

alexa and micke start bitching at each other on announce .

so here we go .

and it escalates into fisticuffs .

shock .

mickie dumps alexa into the ring .

and then slaps carmella for the dq .

cue general brawl .

becky does...something to carmella, mick kick to alexa, they face off, ABRUPT AD BREAK .

during the break, shockingly, bryan made this into a tag match .

which presumably alexa will win because status quo before mania .

but hey, look at the usos .

and my general inability to call this shit .

alexa tags (and throws) carmella in, gets in a spat with ellsworth on the outside .

mickie tags in, kicks everyone .

there's a match happening, but the announce panel are far more interested in just talking about previous manias and this year's preshow .

great .

alexa takes mickie down, nattie's music drops .

she's back to the less-shit gear, so that's nice .

and now she's on announce .

so what, was she just late or something .

otunga just like ummmm why the fuck are you even here .

she gets off a crappy joke, rushes the ring, gets immediately laid out by becky .

and then ellsworth knocks becky over so carmella can get the pin .

and hit naomi's music .

fucking YES .

hits a massive hurricanrana on nattie halfway down the ramp, runs into the ring

.

fucks everybody up

gets a mic so she can share how fucking pumped she is .

(we can tell, naomi) .

she is officially back .

announces that she's entering the title match, despite the fact that she was in it .

by virtue of being a woman on the roster .

gets a crowd pop, dances the segment off .

as we drop the lights but don't turn the uv on for ages .

gj, guys .

cut to bryan on the phone to brie .

interrupted by breezy bella .

who wants to insert themself into the women's title match .

says no .

tyler takes off the wig, is joined by fandango .

they get sad that they won't be at mania, bryan offers them battle royal spots

.

and a space in a 10-man tag tonight

.

they get excessively enthusiastic and leave .

and cut away on bryan's face like what in the actual fuck just happened .

up next, more cursed bellas .

after snickers presents this clip of kane piledriving pete rose .

spoiler: this will not be even vaguely relevant to mania this year .

and an advert for all the mania week stuff .

so we get a blast of galaxy quest music .

god, won't it be a shame when we're past the hall of fame and i stop making that joke .

not that it's a joke .

it's just an actually true thing .

but yes, now we have a miz .

(and also une maryse) .

this time we actually get the full miztv intro .

which suggests other people may turn up .

shite, did we really need a previously montage? .

let's just get this crap over with .

annoyingly funny bit of miz!cena arguing with his cue card guy .

and now we have bryan and brie, also played by miz and maryse .

how long did this shit take to film .

miz!bryan is like something out of a fucking david lynch film .

marykki pops the question, BOOM, to be continued .

the crowd take a moment to realise we're back on camera .

and miz and maryse announce the ad break .

that's pleasingly meta .

and now let's have another video about why we should care about the hall of fame .

oh no, i missed it .

what a shame .

and we're back in the nightmare world .

this is like wrestling meets shitting Psychonauts .

miz!cena dramatically refuses and does a speech about how cena is a manipulative doombot who's afraid of the miz .

you know, i'm beginning to suspect this might all be staged .

apparently you can't see him because there's nothing there to see .

miz and maryse dramatically unmask, do a serious piece to camera about how they're going to destroy cena's career at mania .

miz is uncomfortably intense .

and actually swears .

i mean, they bleep it out, but still .

cut back to the arena, the crowd is split on whether to applaud or boo .

miz is about to say something, ABADOO .

forgoes shouting on stage to kiss nikki's forehead .

and *then* shout at the cameraman .

jesus, john .

what did the cameraman ever do to you .

they get to the ring, miz is like oh hey guys i was waiting for you to interrupt us .

cena's just like okay dude, that was actually pretty funny .

apart from the bit where you turned back into yourself .

cena's doing a whole bit about how miz and maryse believe their own ridiculous kayfabe, while cena knows he's a cartoon character .

have i mentioned how much i love self-aware cena? .

outright asks miz if he's high for thinking he'd jump brands .

solid point .

lists a bunch of superstars who took time off to do films .

including OH WAIT the miz .

but he's like okay at least you're doing something with your career - maryse, the fuck purpose fo you serve? .

we have a women's division and everything .

i'm honestly not used to agreeing with cena so much .

turns the whole using your wife to advance your career and not having kids thing on miz .

ah, dick joke .

i was wondering when that'd turn up .

the crowd is united in pro-cena chants .

this isn't a thing that happens .

this is cena at his best and miz and his douchiest .

cena comments on miz taking everything off and getting serious, takes everything off and gets serious .

(to clarify, cena is still wearing shorts) .

cena calls miz a pussy, producers have to cut the sound .

you can get away with that when you're cena .

likewise calling miz and maryse "the sh...it couple" .

i didn't know it was ok to swear on wwe tv if you had a stutter .

challenges miz to punch him .

and likewise maryse .

looooooong tense moment .

broken by miz and maryse backing out of the ring .

and then turning around to run back .

miz gets to the apron, maryse is asking him to come back .

brings him back up the ramp, cena hits dick joke 2: the dickening .

and nikki gets to do a questionable mic bit .

and her and cena make out .

which is apparently a heel tactic when miz and maryse do it .

ABADOO, end segment .

up next we have the 10-man tag match .

alpha/breezango/usos/slater and rhyno/dolph/mojo .

basically the tag division and spares .

i was about to clarify who was on each team, but there are five faces and five heels, do the maths .

and this is the segment where the announcers have to talk up how significant the andre battle royal is and how winning it unavoidably elevates your career

.

fact check: baron corbin lurks in alleyways and hits people with pipes for a living, the big show is the fucking big show, and cesaro has had kinesio tape on his shoulder for the last three years .

this match is pretty formulaic everyone-gets-a-spot multi-man filler material .

nice to see heath and rhyno getting an outing, though .

advert break, cut back to chad landing a lovely cross armbreaker on "one of the usos" .

good to see tom's paying as much attention as me .

fandango whips chad's face into the turnbuckle, just so we can agree to believe that he's mania material .

dramatic attempted hot tag slightly marred by the fact that as soon as he stops trying to tag out, chad is just fucking up whoever he's in with .

oh nooooooooooo can't quite reeeeeeeeeach okay let's suplex you to death .

can't reeeeeeeeeeach .

heath clears everyone out of the ring, dolph kicks him over the ropes, rhyno gores him and murders everyone .

tyler knocks him off the top rope, mojo broski boots him for the win .

nice memorial to zack there .

hey, anyone remember when tyelr breeze was a main eventer? .

sigh .

anyway, here's luke harper in his lightbulb room .

ranting about his personal freedom and epiphanies and snakes and such .

i am enjoying how he's turned face, but he's still as much of a backwoods serial killer as ever .

so apparently we have that match next .

which i'm guessing is the main event? .

after an advert for takeover .

for which i am SO FUCKING HYPE .

and now a segment with becky beating enzo and cass at shitty off-brand scrabble .

cass forgets how to spell sawft .

it's a snickers adverts .

these are actually pretty good, tbf .

way better than enzo trying to fuck some fried chicken, in any case .

and now we have the bit where the announcers list all the shit that's happening on mania and i have a nap .

just inserts the same criticisms i had before the cut .

except this time they have a picture of the lineup for the battle royal .

spoiler: it's everyone else .

tom tries to sell us the network, wyatt cut, otunga forgets his mic is on .

gj, guys .

so yeah, here comes a bray .

and a recap of his speech from last week .

long weird break that may or may not have been ads .

and a thing telling richmond to come back the next time they do smackdown .

and sheamus telling us not to smoke .

either this stream was edited badly, smackdown has fallen headfirst into its own shitty editing, or i just had an aneurysm .

anyway, we're back now .

enter the spirit of the woods .

and extreme closeups thereof .

and now he has a weird man bun going on? .

bad move, luke .

i'll be honest, it's pretty cool to see these two fighting .

harper's tidied up his outfit now he's a face .

harper's dropkicks are still way better than you'd thing they should be .

harper throws bray into the timekeepers, stands on the announce table for some reason .

cut for ads, and they've somehow managed to get back in the ring without being counted out .

whatever, wrestling .

uranage to two sentons by bray, luke kicks out despite presumably having no ribs left .

bray goes for him, harper catches him into the setup for sister abigail, bray gets out but luke hits no less than two fucking suicide dives into him on the announce table .

i know bray's going to win, but this offense phase from harper is outstanding .

bray goes for sister abigail, harper counters with a big boot and discus .

clothesline, goes for the pin, bray manages to get a hand on the ropes .

and then gets up and abigails him for the pin .

well, that was...abrupt .

which makes a certain narrative sense, given that it was 'man who's very good at wrestling' versus 'avatar of satan' .

you can do all the wrestling you like, but when he gets a hit in, you're fucked .

does the follow the buzzards thing, music goes weird, and now randy's on the tron .

at the ruins of the barn .

recapping things bray has said .

randy has bray's weird not-crucifix from last week .

drives it into abigail's grave .

which will apparently seal her power? .

this mythos is...let's go with conceptually muddy .

although for old-school pure will-based magic, it actually makes a lot of sense .

excuse me while i headcanon this angle into something that works .

meanwhile, wyatt-style randy cut (lots of snakes), end show .

and that's it for the main shows before mania .

i'll be on twitter for both shows this weekend, so see you there in just under twelve hours (or however long it is when this goes up) for takeover, and at an uncomfortably early time tomorrow evening for wrestlemarathon

.

i'm @waruce, btw .

and now to watch the shows I don't blog and/or advertise furniture for questionable Turkish men .

i swear, this is the last time i let daniel hook me up with job opportunities

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

[defyperception]

"Co-Directed" by Ryan Staake & Young Thug Production Companies: Pomp&Clout x Freenjoy EPs: Ryan Staake, Ryen Bartlett & Nathan Scherrer Producer: Jeff Kopchia Head of Production: Kevin Staake Director of Photography: Trevor Wineman Editors: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini VFX Supervisor: Aaron Vinton Lead VFX/3D: Pete Puskas VFX Touchups: Eric Degliomini & Ryan Staake Illustration: Carlos Ancalmo Colorist: David Torcivia Audio Edit: Aaron Vinton Voice on Recording: John Colombo Rotoscoping: 3D Services India Typeface: GT Sectra Production Manager: Nathaniel Dueber Production Coordinator: Jimmy Stannard 1st AD: Erik Mateo 2nd AD: Anthony Hayward Casting Director: Michael Stonewall Beaudry Production Designer: Clayton Beisner Art Director: Pele Kudren Set Dresser: Greg Shultz Set Dec Shopper: Philip Steiger 1st AC: Alicia Pharris 2nd AC: Erin Naifeh B CAM OP: Bret Watkins B CAM AC: Erick Aguilar DIT: Mike Halper VTR: Chris Warren Techno Dolly Tech: Adam Francis Techno Dolly Op: Paul Maples Gaffer: Mike Misslin Best Boy Electric: Garett Williams Electric: Joel Gill Key Grip: Nick Bodkin Best Boy Grip: Josh Smith Grip: Sean Burris Grip Driver: Randy Crisco Stylist: Bo Roses Hair: Priscilla Nguyen Makeup: Julie Dinh Pyro Tech: Erick Hicks Truck PA: Ted Keffer Set PA: Freddy Mendez Set PA: Patricia Ramirez Driver PA: Zac Grado Moho Driver: Rusty Kid Cops: Roman George Steven Thomas Corey Jackson Girls: Sharifa Bailey Alexis Paton Stephanie Chukwoucha Melissa Moore Jacqueline Cohen Emily Gruen Blaire Hampton Saiyda Bey Danica Cooper Jasmine Macken Shakina Greene Ella Moore Kathaleen Fisher Sylvia Kochinski Brandi Lawrence Meica Bradshaw Ermaline Ogbodo Jessica Harris Kaleila Jordan Nicole Ballantine Skylar Roberge Vanessa Stewart

[m0rb1dch1ld]

The many shades of elpis teal!

Idk how many shades of teal I had to makes but it looked cool seeing the shade I stuck with vs the many shades that came before.

Going to bridge the gap between digital and traditional with this one!

Stay tuned for more!

[frankdeath]

Young Thug - Wyclef Jean from Pomp&Clout on Vimeo.

"Co-Directed" by Ryan Staake & Young Thug

Production Companies: Pomp&Clout x Freenjoy EPs: Ryan Staake, Ryen Bartlett & Nathan Scherrer Producer: Jeff Kopchia Head of Production: Kevin Staake Director of Photography: Trevor Wineman

Editors: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini VFX Supervisor: Aaron Vinton Lead VFX/3D: Pete Puskas VFX Touchups: Eric Degliomini & Ryan Staake Colorist: David Torcivia Audio Edit: Aaron Vinton Voice on Recording: John Colombo Rotoscoping: 3D Services India Typeface: GT Sectra

Production Manager: Nathaniel Dueber Production Coordinator: Jimmy Stannard 1st AD: Erik Mateo 2nd AD: Anthony Hayward Casting Director: Michael Stonewall Beaudry Production Designer: Clayton Beisner Art Director: Pele Kudren Set Dresser: Greg Shultz Set Dec Shopper: Philip Steiger 1st AC: Alicia Pharris 2nd AC: Erin Naifeh B CAM OP: Bret Watkins B CAM AC: Erick Aguilar DIT: Mike Halper VTR: Chris Warren Techno Dolly Tech: Adam Francis Techno Dolly Op: Paul Maples Gaffer: Mike Misslin Best Boy Electric: Garett Williams Electric: Joel Gill Key Grip: Nick Bodkin Best Boy Grip: Josh Smith Grip: Sean Burris Grip Driver: Randy Crisco Stylist: Bo Roses Hair: Priscilla Nguyen Makeup: Julie Dinh Pyro Tech: Erick Hicks Truck PA: Ted Keffer Set PA: Freddy Mendez Set PA: Patricia Ramirez Driver PA: Zac Grado Moho Driver: Rusty

Kid Cops: Roman George Steven Thomas Corey Jackson

Girls: Sharifa Bailey Alexis Paton Stephanie Chukwoucha Melissa Moore Jacqueline Cohen Emily Gruen Blaire Hampton Saiyda Bey Danica Cooper Jasmine Macken Shakina Greene Ella Moore Kathaleen Fisher Sylvia Kochinski Brandi Lawrence Meica Bradshaw Ermaline Ogbodo Jessica Harris Kaleila Jordan Nicole Ballantine Skylar Roberge Vanessa Stewart

[mattachine]

"Co-Directed" by Ryan Staake & Young Thug Production Companies: Pomp&Clout x Freenjoy EPs: Ryan Staake, Ryen Bartlett & Nathan Scherrer Producer: Jeff Kopchia Head of Production: Kevin Staake Director of Photography: Trevor Wineman Editors: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini VFX Supervisor: Aaron Vinton Lead VFX/3D: Pete Puskas VFX Touchups: Eric Degliomini & Ryan Staake Illustration: Carlos Ancalmo Colorist: David Torcivia Audio Edit: Aaron Vinton Voice on Recording: John Colombo Rotoscoping: 3D Services India Typeface: GT Sectra Production Manager: Nathaniel Dueber Production Coordinator: Jimmy Stannard 1st AD: Erik Mateo 2nd AD: Anthony Hayward Casting Director: Michael Stonewall Beaudry Production Designer: Clayton Beisner Art Director: Pele Kudren Set Dresser: Greg Shultz Set Dec Shopper: Philip Steiger 1st AC: Alicia Pharris 2nd AC: Erin Naifeh B CAM OP: Bret Watkins B CAM AC: Erick Aguilar DIT: Mike Halper VTR: Chris Warren Techno Dolly Tech: Adam Francis Techno Dolly Op: Paul Maples Gaffer: Mike Misslin Best Boy Electric: Garett Williams Electric: Joel Gill Key Grip: Nick Bodkin Best Boy Grip: Josh Smith Grip: Sean Burris Grip Driver: Randy Crisco Stylist: Bo Roses Hair: Priscilla Nguyen Makeup: Julie Dinh Pyro Tech: Erick Hicks Truck PA: Ted Keffer Set PA: Freddy Mendez Set PA: Patricia Ramirez Driver PA: Zac Grado Moho Driver: Rusty Kid Cops: Roman George Steven Thomas Corey Jackson Girls: Sharifa Bailey Alexis Paton Stephanie Chukwoucha Melissa Moore Jacqueline Cohen Emily Gruen Blaire Hampton Saiyda Bey Danica Cooper Jasmine Macken Shakina Greene Ella Moore Kathaleen Fisher Sylvia Kochinski Brandi Lawrence Meica Bradshaw Ermaline Ogbodo Jessica Harris Kaleila Jordan Nicole Ballantine Skylar Roberge Vanessa Stewart

[aronsonfilm]

Young Thug - Wyclef Jean from Pomp&Clout on Vimeo.

"Co-Directed" by Ryan Staake & Young Thug

Production Companies: Pomp&Clout x Freenjoy EPs: Ryan Staake, Ryen Bartlett & Nathan Scherrer Producer: Jeff Kopchia Head of Production: Kevin Staake Director of Photography: Trevor Wineman

Editors: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini VFX Supervisor: Aaron Vinton Lead VFX/3D: Pete Puskas VFX Touchups: Eric Degliomini & Ryan Staake Illustration: Carlos Ancalmo Colorist: David Torcivia Audio Edit: Aaron Vinton Voice on Recording: John Colombo Rotoscoping: 3D Services India Typeface: GT Sectra

Production Manager: Nathaniel Dueber Production Coordinator: Jimmy Stannard 1st AD: Erik Mateo 2nd AD: Anthony Hayward Casting Director: Michael Stonewall Beaudry Production Designer: Clayton Beisner Art Director: Pele Kudren Set Dresser: Greg Shultz Set Dec Shopper: Philip Steiger 1st AC: Alicia Pharris 2nd AC: Erin Naifeh B CAM OP: Bret Watkins B CAM AC: Erick Aguilar DIT: Mike Halper VTR: Chris Warren Techno Dolly Tech: Adam Francis Techno Dolly Op: Paul Maples Gaffer: Mike Misslin Best Boy Electric: Garett Williams Electric: Joel Gill Key Grip: Nick Bodkin Best Boy Grip: Josh Smith Grip: Sean Burris Grip Driver: Randy Crisco Stylist: Bo Roses Hair: Priscilla Nguyen Makeup: Julie Dinh Pyro Tech: Erick Hicks Truck PA: Ted Keffer Set PA: Freddy Mendez Set PA: Patricia Ramirez Driver PA: Zac Grado Moho Driver: Rusty

Kid Cops: Roman George Steven Thomas Corey Jackson

Girls: Sharifa Bailey Alexis Paton Stephanie Chukwoucha Melissa Moore Jacqueline Cohen Emily Gruen Blaire Hampton Saiyda Bey Danica Cooper Jasmine Macken Shakina Greene Ella Moore Kathaleen Fisher Sylvia Kochinski Brandi Lawrence Meica Bradshaw Ermaline Ogbodo Jessica Harris Kaleila Jordan Nicole Ballantine Skylar Roberge Vanessa Stewart

[chopsyanimation]

Young Thug - Wyclef Jean from Pomp&Clout on Vimeo.

"Co-Directed" by Ryan Staake & Young Thug

Production Companies: Pomp&Clout x Freenjoy EPs: Ryan Staake, Ryen Bartlett & Nathan Scherrer Producer: Jeff Kopchia Head of Production: Kevin Staake Director of Photography: Trevor Wineman

Editors: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini VFX Supervisor: Aaron Vinton Lead VFX/3D: Pete Puskas VFX Touchups: Eric Degliomini & Ryan Staake Colorist: David Torcivia Audio Edit: Aaron Vinton Voice on Recording: John Colombo Rotoscoping: 3D Services India Typeface: GT Sectra

Production Manager: Nathaniel Dueber Production Coordinator: Jimmy Stannard 1st AD: Erik Mateo 2nd AD: Anthony Hayward Casting Director: Michael Stonewall Beaudry Production Designer: Clayton Beisner Art Director: Pele Kudren Set Dresser: Greg Shultz Set Dec Shopper: Philip Steiger 1st AC: Alicia Pharris 2nd AC: Erin Naifeh B CAM OP: Bret Watkins B CAM AC: Erick Aguilar DIT: Mike Halper VTR: Chris Warren Techno Dolly Tech: Adam Francis Techno Dolly Op: Paul Maples Gaffer: Mike Misslin Best Boy Electric: Garett Williams Electric: Joel Gill Key Grip: Nick Bodkin Best Boy Grip: Josh Smith Grip: Sean Burris Grip Driver: Randy Crisco Stylist: Bo Roses Hair: Priscilla Nguyen Makeup: Julie Dinh Pyro Tech: Erick Hicks Truck PA: Ted Keffer Set PA: Freddy Mendez Set PA: Patricia Ramirez Driver PA: Zac Grado Moho Driver: Rusty

Kid Cops: Roman George Steven Thomas Corey Jackson

Girls: Sharifa Bailey Alexis Paton Stephanie Chukwoucha Melissa Moore Jacqueline Cohen Emily Gruen Blaire Hampton Saiyda Bey Danica Cooper Jasmine Macken Shakina Greene Ella Moore Kathaleen Fisher Sylvia Kochinski Brandi Lawrence Meica Bradshaw Ermaline Ogbodo Jessica Harris Kaleila Jordan Nicole Ballantine Skylar Roberge Vanessa Stewart

[danimal]

Young Thug - Wyclef Jean from Pomp&Clout on Vimeo.

"Co-Directed" by Ryan Staake & Young Thug

Production Companies: Pomp&Clout x Freenjoy EPs: Ryan Staake, Ryen Bartlett & Nathan Scherrer Producer: Jeff Kopchia Head of Production: Kevin Staake Director of Photography: Trevor Wineman

Editors: Ryan Staake & Eric Degliomini VFX Supervisor: Aaron Vinton Lead VFX/3D: Pete Puskas VFX Touchups: Eric Degliomini & Ryan Staake Colorist: David Torcivia Audio Edit: Aaron Vinton Voice on Recording: John Colombo Rotoscoping: 3D Services India Typeface: GT Sectra

Production Manager: Nathaniel Dueber Production Coordinator: Jimmy Stannard 1st AD: Erik Mateo 2nd AD: Anthony Hayward Casting Director: Michael Stonewall Beaudry Production Designer: Clayton Beisner Art Director: Pele Kudren Set Dresser: Greg Shultz Set Dec Shopper: Philip Steiger 1st AC: Alicia Pharris 2nd AC: Erin Naifeh B CAM OP: Bret Watkins B CAM AC: Erick Aguilar DIT: Mike Halper VTR: Chris Warren Techno Dolly Tech: Adam Francis Techno Dolly Op: Paul Maples Gaffer: Mike Misslin Best Boy Electric: Garett Williams Electric: Joel Gill Key Grip: Nick Bodkin Best Boy Grip: Josh Smith Grip: Sean Burris Grip Driver: Randy Crisco Stylist: Bo Roses Hair: Priscilla Nguyen Makeup: Julie Dinh Pyro Tech: Erick Hicks Truck PA: Ted Keffer Set PA: Freddy Mendez Set PA: Patricia Ramirez Driver PA: Zac Grado Moho Driver: Rusty

Kid Cops: Roman George Steven Thomas Corey Jackson

Girls: Sharifa Bailey Alexis Paton Stephanie Chukwoucha Melissa Moore Jacqueline Cohen Emily Gruen Blaire Hampton Saiyda Bey Danica Cooper Jasmine Macken Shakina Greene Ella Moore Kathaleen Fisher Sylvia Kochinski Brandi Lawrence Meica Bradshaw Ermaline Ogbodo Jessica Harris Kaleila Jordan Nicole Ballantine Skylar Roberge Vanessa Stewart