#pedro pascal father figure

[afictionaladventure16]

Taking It All In (Pedro Pascal x Daughter!Reader)

Part V

A/N: This is more than likely the last part of this unexpected series. I might be down to do one-shots about the series or something, but otherwise, I consider this series to be completed. I thank everyone who has requested something for this series and who has been reading them! I appreciate every single one of you! Requests are still open if you want to request something Pedro related! Thank you! <3

Word Count: 6, 196

Previously

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of guns, shooting, blood, and kidnapping.

Sometimes life puts you in situations and you’ll wonder what decisions you made that got you there. How did you get to a certain point in life where you wondered if you would make it out alive. Where was the turning point? 

“Can we talk?” You looked around, most of the kids had left already. There were only a few stragglers, probably waiting for their parents to pick them up or even taking their time walking home. “It’ll be quick,” she cautiously said. 

There were multiple decisions for you to make in front of you. You just didn’t know which one to take. Would you listen to your naive little heart and listen to your mother? Or would you listen to your brain, the one that held all the trauma stored in a little box, and walk away unscathed. “You shouldn’t be here,” you muttered. You looked up at her, her eyes pleading for you to listen to your heart. “How did you even find out where I go to school?” 

“I have my ways,” she hesitated. It made you feel uneasy, there weren’t many people who knew where you attended school and it was for good reason. 

You began to walk around her, “I don’t want to talk to you,” you stated. She grabbed your arm, causing you to withdraw it quickly from her grasp. “Don’t touch me,” you hissed. 

“Let’s just take a drive,” she suggested, glancing down to her jacket pocket where one of her hands was. You followed her gaze, noticing an object being pointed directly at you. “Please, just get in the car,” she gestured towards her car. Decisions, you could run. This was school grounds, she’d be stupid to do anything on school grounds, but was she that stupid? Or, you could get in the car. Your naive little heart no longer wanted to hear her out, it was terrified of the outcomes. “I just want to prove that I can be a good mother, Y/N. Just let me prove that to you.” 

You didn’t know if there could be any evidence that she was a good mother, not to you especially, maybe to her other kids. For you, she wasn’t a mother at all. Yeah, maybe to your siblings she was the best mother out there, but did she really have to prove that to you? You noticed the Principal walking out of the main building, he looked over at you and smiled. You smiled back, your mother was quick to notice the interaction, “Get in the car,” she hissed. 

You gave her a nod, following her to the car. You opened the passenger door, giving your Principal a quick glance. He knew only a certain few came to pick you up from school and he knew your father informed the office if someone other than him or his sister was going to pick you up. So, he was curious when he saw someone he didn’t recognize picking you up.

“This is a perfect day,” your mother began as she began to drive away from the school. “Sasha and Nathan are at a friend's for a play date, but Jack is picking them up in about an hour.” She smiled as she gave you a quick glance, “Oh come on, it’ll be fine!” 

“I don’t know how comfort-” 

“No,” she said sternly, “I’m going to prove to you I am a good mother.” 

You could hear the engine roar as she got onto the highway, you couldn’t help but glance at the speedometer. She was already going eighty on the highway and climbing. “C-can you slow down?” you asked. 

“I’m a good mother,” she whispered to herself. 

90 miles per hour. Swerving to avoid hitting cars. 

You could’ve run to your principal and could’ve taken the risk of her shooting the gun. You didn’t know how big of a risk it was, but you would have been safe right now. 

95 miles per hour. 

“Please, slow down,” you said a little louder. Hoping she could hear the desperation in your voice, the way it shook with fear. You felt the car begin to slow down, letting out a relieved breath, unclenching your fists that were held tightly on your lap. 

She got off the highway, she hasn’t said anything in the past few minutes. “Where are you taking me?” you asked as you looked at the unfamiliar streets you had passed. 

“Home,” she whispered. 

You gave her a confused look, “I-I don— my house isn’t in this direction.” 

“I know,” she muttered. 

You looked forward, watching as an unfamiliar neighborhood came into view. She wasn’t taking you to your home, she was taking you to hers.

~~ 

Today was one of the days Pedro wished there were two of him. One to run his errands and the other to just go do whatever Pedro does whenever he isn’t running errands. Luckily for him, Oscar was in town and he was able to join Pedro in his day of unfortunate events. 

“Again, Thanks,” Pedro began as Oscar helped him put together a new bookcase in the living room. They had tools all laid out on the floor, pieces of wood scattered around them. It was like they were two kids playing with Legos but with Ikea bookcase parts. 

“Like I said, it’s not a problem. Plus, it gives us a chance to talk.” Oscar cleared his throat before he continued, “How’s Y/N and the whole thing with her mom?” 

Pedro shrugged, “I don’t know, after the quince I spoke to Y/N. She was pretty hurt, I mean, why wouldn’t she be? Her mother left again. They were supposed to meet during the weekend but I pulled some strings and canceled the meetup. I’m just trying my best right now.” Oscar nodded, “I mean, there’s no parenting guide on what to do when your daughter's mother leaves in the middle of the quince.” 

Oscar chuckled, “No, but you could write one,” he suggested. A knock on the door interrupted their conversation, “expecting someone?��� Oscar asked. 

Pedro shook his head, “Probably the Amazon delivery driver,” he got up from his place on the floor. “I swear, this girl sometimes orders things online and thinks I don’t notice bu-” He stopped midsentence as he opened the door, half expecting a man with a blue vest on the other side, but was surprised when he saw a man dressed in a nice suit. “Oh! Sorry, I thought you were the Amazon delivery driver,” Pedro apologized. 

“Pedro?” The man asked. 

“Uh, yeah?” Pedro gave the man a confused look, “I’m sorry, who are you?” 

“My name is Jack, I’m Gabriela’s husband.” 

To say Pedro was shocked was an understatement. He was shocked, confused, and a bit angry. “W-what are you doing here? How do you even-” 

“Look I’ll answer all those questions, but I need your help.” 

“My help?” 

Oscar walked over to the door, “everything okay?” 

Pedro shook his head, “you need to leave, Jack.” 

“No, you don’t understand,” Jack said desperately, “You and Y/N are in danger.” Pedro gave Jack a nod to continue, “Gabriela she’s off her meds and this morning we got into a big argument. It’s a whole story.” 

“Y/N doesn’t get home until an hour from now, I got time,” Pedro stated, opening the door for Jack. 

Jack walked in, “Gabriela wasn’t supposed to go to Y/N’s quince, as a matter of fact, I had no idea she had been in contact with Y/N the past few months.” Pedro led him into the living room, Jack sat down on the couch as Pedro and Oscar sat across him. 

“What do you mean?” Pedro asked. 

“Gabriela and I separated a few months ago,” Jack began. “I had noticed she was beginning to spiral and she had been neglecting her medication and the kids. So, I did what I thought was right, I took the kids to my mom's and had Gabriela sent to an institution where she could get help. The next thing I know, I hear she was out of the institution, but when I came to check on her, everything was fine. But I should’ve known better, she was just putting on a show.” Jack sighed, “Slowly I let her see the kids, that’s when she ran into Y/N. We live in Near Soho, Gabriela purposely brought the kids here in hopes of running into Y/N. That day I found out, I took the kids and left to my moms in anger.” 

“Wait,” Pedro was trying to put the pieces together, “She purposely did it?” Jack nodded, “Are you even running for governor?” 

“I was, until I found out about Y/N and I knew Gabriela having a secret like that, probably wouldn’t go that great with the election. I think it’s what made Gabriela spiral, she felt this need to fix everything. I partially blame myself, I was kind of hard on her about it.” 

Pedro was in disbelief, he was sickened at the idea of Gabriela purposely planting herself in places so that she could find you. “Why are you here, again?” Oscar asked. 

“As I had said before, Gabriela and I had an argument this morning. I had found out about her visitations and the quince, I was so angry and she was so desperate to make things right. During the argument, I found out that she hadn’t been taking her medication. I left to get some air and when I came back she was gone.” Pedro and Oscar looked at Jack confused, they still didn’t understand why he was there. “I then began to pack the rest of my stuff, I decided I was done with Gabriela, but in the midst of my packing, I realized that my gun was no longer in its safe. All that was in there was a note.” Jack uncrumbled a piece of paper from his jacket pocket, handing it to Pedro. 

“I’m going to make things right,” Pedro read. He looked back up at Jack, “Do you think she’s going to?” 

“I don’t know,” Jack responded. “I hope not, I can’t seem to find her anywhere and I was hoping you could help me?” 

Pedro looked at Oscar then back over at Jack, “Alright.” 

~~ 

After another minute in the car, she pulled up to one of the townhomes. Parking on the side of the street, she quickly got off, walking over to the passenger side to open the door for you. She gave you a huge grin as she led you up the small steps, “Welcome home,” she said as she opened the door to the townhome. 

You shook your head, “I-I should um, I should get home,” you shakingly said. 

Her smile quickly vanished, “Get inside, Y/N.” One of her hands went directly to her jacket pocket. You knew what she was indicating, you took in a deep breath as you stepped inside the home. It was nice and felt welcoming even under the circumstances. 

There was a hallway that led to different rooms and portraits hung throughout the walls of the hallway. Photos of the family. Some of these photos you had seen on her social media, from the time you had just found her. Some you had never seen. The ones you have never seen, your mother looked nothing like she did on her social media. She looked different. Depressed. Herself. 

She looked like herself. 

Like her true self. 

It was apparent in the photos that she didn’t want to be there, you could see it in her eyes that she wasn’t happy. You knew that look, mostly because you carried that look from time to time. 

“That was taken shortly after Sasha was born,” your mother said as you looked at a portrait of the family. In the photo, your mother carried a small infant, who you assumed to be Sasha as a baby. 

“You look so sad,” you whispered. 

“I wasn’t,” she snapped. She cleared her throat, “Come on,” she said as she took hold of your arm and led you into the living room. “Sit,” she demanded as she gestured towards the couch, you hesitated, wondering if sitting was the right thing to do. It gave you less of an advantage to run if you were sitting, “Sit!” she yelled. You quickly sat down, fear had taken over your body. It controlled your every move like a puppeteer. 

You heard your phone vibrating in your pocket, you took it out, making eye contact with your mother as your phone continued to vibrate in your hands. “It’s my dad,” you stated. “I should’ve been home by now.” 

She took the gun out from her jacket pocket, pointing it towards you, “Answer it,” she demanded. “No funny business.” 

You felt a chill run down your spine, you swallowed the lump in your throat as you answered the call. “Yeah?” 

“Mija! Thank god you answered! We went to your school, but you’re not here!” he began to say, you could hear the sense of relief in his voice.

“It’s early release, I forgot to tell you that we got out an hour early,” you stated. 

“Look, I need you to get home as soon as possible, okay? Your mother… she’s uh… She’s going through some mental breakdown,” you looked over at your mother, she still had the gun pointed toward you. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I won’t be home for another hour, I need you to lock the door and-” 

“Yeah, enchiladas sound nice for dinner,” you interrupted. 

“Mija, what are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know, Dad, maybe some rice?” You let out a forced chuckle, hoping your father would catch on. 

Pedro, on the other hand, stopped in his tracks, “Mija, are you safe?” 

“No, you know how I hate Bell peppers.” Bell peppers. There it was. Your code word. Once you and your dad had placed back when you were little, one you never thought you would have to use, but here you were. 

Pedro looked over at Jack, his heart had dropped. “Bell peppers,” he muttered, grabbing Jack’s attention. “Y/N, I need you to try to tell me where you are.” 

You closed your eyes, letting out a sigh, “I don’t know.” you looked over at your mother, who had begun making her way towards the window, the gun still pointed at you. She was out of earshot range, though, “it’s not my home,” you whispered.

Your mother quickly turned around, “get off the phone right now,” she demanded. 

You felt tears begin to well up in your eyes, you couldn’t just hang up, “Papi, te amo,” you said desperate to make sure your dad knew you loved him. 

Pedro felt the anger build up inside him, “No, Y/N. Don’t say that, I’m going to find you okay?” 

“Off the phone now!” your mother yelled. She grabbed the phone and hung up the call for you. 

Pedro heard your mother's voice, he knew you were with her. He knew you weren’t safe. 

“What happened?” Jack asked. 

“Gabriela has her,” Pedro clutched his phone in his hands.  

“Did she say where she was?” Jack was just as desperate as Pedro was to find them. He knew Gabriela had reached her breaking point and was afraid to find out what she was capable of. 

“It wasn’t her home,” he muttered. “That’s what she said.” But what could it mean? The only place that you wouldn’t consider home, there were many places that you wouldn’t consider home. But no, that’s not it. It had to be a place where it should be your home, but wasn’t. Pedro looked up at Jack, “Where did you say you lived again?” 

“Near Soho…” Jack realized what Pedro was trying to get at, “Shit!” 

They ran towards Jack’s car, wasting no time getting in, “How long would it take for us to get there?” 

“If I break all the laws? About fifteen minutes.” 

“It’s a good thing you’re a politician,” Pedro commented. 

~~ 

Your mother fumed as she lowered the gun, “Alright, it’s okay,” she repeated to herself, “this can all be fixed.” You watched as she began to pace, “I just need you to hear me out, okay?” She pointed the gun toward you again, “Can you do that?” 

“I feel like I have no choice at the moment,” you spat. 

She rolled her eyes, “Enlighten me for a moment.” 

“You’re acting insane—” 

“I’m not insane!” She yelled, “Don’t act like you are not like me because I know you’re just like me. Hell, you’re the spitting image of me. Mentally and physically.” 

You shook your head, getting up from the couch, “I’m nothing like you.” 

“Sit down,” she commanded. 

You shook your head again, “I don’t want to sit down.” 

“No, you’re gonna sit down and you’re going to listen to me!” This was a side neither you nor your father knew about. A side she never showed him. Was it a breaking point for her? Seeing you again? How happy you were without her? Tears began to well up in her eyes, “I never wanted to leave you–” 

“But you did,” you stated. 

“I had to,” She hissed. 

You shook your head, “you didn’t. You left because you wanted to. Staying was always an option for you too.” 

“No! Staying meant I wouldn’t be able to breathe!” 

“Then why did you stay for them!? Why not for me? Was I not worth it?” 

Your mother held her head with her hands, “No, no, no,” she began to mutter, “I’m a good mother!” 

“I’m not saying you’re not,” you began. 

“Yes, you are!” She pointed the gun back at you, “You don’t know me!” 

“You’re right, I don’t.” You held your hands up, “I’m everything you are, just a different version.” 

“You don’t know what I’ve been through.” You shook your head. Your instincts were to tell you to just agree with her, get her to calm down. Maybe, somehow, you could talk her out of this. “I went through hell and then I had you and I couldn’t be happy! I thought maybe having you could give me some sort of happiness.” Tears welled up in her eyes, “And seeing Pedro so happy, I couldn’t tear that from him! But now, now we can build a home together,” she smiled. 

You glanced at the clock that was hung on the wall, it had only been ten minutes since the phone call. Although, it felt like longer. You had hoped that your dad understood what you were trying to say, you hoped that help was on the way, “I-I have a home.” 

“No!” She groaned, “I can build you a better home! Here, with your siblings, where you belong!” She said hopefully, waving the gun around her and gesturing towards the home she had built for herself. “This is where you belong,” she muttered, “Why can’t you see that?” 

“I-I can.” 

“You’re just saying what I want to hear.” 

You shook your head, “N-No, I can see us here. Me with my siblings,” her eyes lit up. “Don’t you see it, Mom?” Tears in your eyes, your voice shook. “I-I can.” 

She nodded, “I see it, baby.” 

“B-But I have to go home first.” 

Her smile vanished and you could see the darkness begin to fill her eyes, “No.” 

“Please,” you cried. 

You both flinched when you heard loud banging coming from the door, “Gabriela!” You heard a voice yell. 

Your mother took a couple steps closer to you, the gun still pointed at you. 

On the other side of the door, Jack was on the phone with the police as he banged on the door. “Fuck this!” Pedro yelled as he motioned for Jack to step back. 

“Pedro, we should wait for the police.” 

“I’m not fucking waiting! That’s my daughter in there!” He lifted his leg, putting all his weight onto the door causing it to fall to the ground. Pedro ran into the apartment with Jack not too far behind. He stopped in his tracks when he made it to the living room. 

“One step closer and I’ll pull the trigger,” Gabriela threatened. She was only a few feet away from you, the gun aimed in your direction. 

Pedro lifted his hands, hoping to reveal to Gabriela that he meant no harm. Because he didn’t, all he wanted was for his daughter to be safe, “Gabriela, please,” he said softly, lifting his foot slightly. 

Gabriela cocked the gun, “I swear to god I’ll do it!” 

“Papi, please,” you looked at your father with wide pleading eyes.  

Pedro’s eyes never left you. “Shit,” Jack muttered as he saw the situation in front of him. “Gabriela, what are you doing?” 

“I’m trying to make things right!” She yelled, “Why can’t anyone see that?!” 

Jack let out a deep breath, “Gabriela, you need to let Y/N go, okay?” 

She shook her head vigorously, “No, I can make things right.” 

Jack shook his head, “You can’t, Gabriela. The police are on their way, there’s no making this right anymore.” 

Tears began to well up in Gabriela’s eyes, “I can make this right.” 

Sirens could be heard from the distance, Pedro still had his eyes on you. Every atom in your body wanted to run towards him, but you knew it wouldn’t be the right decision. Yet, all the decisions you made today led you to this moment. 

“There be here any moment, Gabriela, let’s just make it easier for them. Let’s put the gun down, alright?” Jack suggested as he took a step forward. 

Gabriela moved her finger to the trigger, “Jack, please, she’ll shoot if you take a step closer,” Pedro stated. 

Jack let out a sigh, “Gabby, shooting her isn’t going to fix this!” 

“Shut up!” She yelled. 

There were voices coming from the hallway, “Gabby,” Jack pleaded. 

Before anyone knew it, police officers ran into the living room. 

“Put the gun down!” One of the officers yelled as he pointed his gun at her. 

“Don’t shoot! We got civilians!” Another yelled.  

A few more officers began walking into the living room. Gabriela looks over at you, she was trapped, you could see the panic in her eyes, “I’m sorry,” she whispers. 

“Gabriela, No!” Pedro yelled. Gabriela pulled the trigger before one of the officers pushed her to the ground. At the sound of the gunshot, you ducked to the ground. 

“She’s down!” one of the officers yelled. 

Pedro ran over to your side, pulling you into his arms, “you’re okay,” he breathed. 

Adrenaline rushed over you, as your vision began to blur. You could feel warmness soaking through your shirt, you looked up at your dad who was looking into your eyes. Your hand felt around the area, and you looked down to see the blood soaking through your shirt. 

Pedro followed your gaze, his heart instantly dropping at the sight of the redness oozing through your shirt, “No, no, no, no!” He began to apply pressure to the wound. “It’s okay, baby, it’s okay!” 

The adrenaline was slowly leaving you and you began to feel the pain of the bullet burning and piercing through your skin. You let out a loud whimper as your dad put more pressure on the wound, “I need some help!” Pedro called out. Officers began to put in a call for an ambulance as they surrounded the father and daughter. Pedro, in anger, turned to face Gabriela, “Why would you do this!?” He yelled. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Gabriela’s eyes never left the ground, she was handcuffed and dragged away from the scene. 

“Dad,” you called out in fear, “it hurts.” Tears pool in your eyes, as you struggle to catch your breath. 

“Breathe, Mija,” Pedro choked out, he was trying his best to be brave in front of you, but in all honestly he was terrified. “It’s gonna be okay.” Every word he had said was muffled as if you were in another room. “Look at me, Y/N!” Your eyes were darting from one spot to the other, “Baby, I need you to look at me, it’s gonna be okay.” You tried your hardest to focus on your dad's voice, on his face, on all the details, but it was becoming difficult by the second. The pain in your chest was becoming a distant ache as if it were an old wound. 

Your breaths were short and shallow, “No, no, no!” Pedro cried, “Stay with me!” He placed his free hand on your cheek, watching as your eyes struggled to stay open. “Quedate conmigo!” he placed his forehead against yours, “Quedate conmigo,” he cried. (stay with me) 

One of the officers knelt down beside Pedro, “Get that EMT in here now!” he yelled as he gently took you from your fathers' arms. He laid you on the ground and began checking for a pulse. Pedro continued to hold pressure on your wound. 

“Please, she’s all I have,” He pleaded with the officer. A second later a paramedic came running in with a stretcher. Pedro didn’t have a chance to breathe before they took you from him. He watched as they quickly began assessing you as they took you back to the ambulance. He made sure to be in there with you, even if they had suggested it wasn’t the best idea. He didn’t care, he wanted to be with you. He needed to. He held your hand, as they worked on you on the ride to the hospital. 

When he arrived at the hospital he wasn’t allowed past certain doors, meaning that he had to wait in the lobby with his blood-stained shirt. Pedro knew he would have to call someone sooner or later and he felt that it wasn’t the right time to be alone. 

He dialed the first number he could think of, he listened as the phone rang for a few seconds, “Pedro?” Pedro let out a small sob, “Pedro, Que te pasa?” his sister asked.

“I need you here, Javiera.” 

“Where are you?” His sister didn’t ask any other questions as soon as he said his location. She was there within minutes and she was by her brothers' side making sure he had a shoulder to lean on as they waited for the doctors to come out. 

“Get some rest, Pedro,” Javiera softly said. 

He could feel his eyes growing heavy. “Yeah, we’ll wake you if anything happens,” Oscar chimed in. He had arrived not too long after Javiera. It had now been four hours since they took you in and there was still no news. Pedro felt hopeful, that maybe if they were taking long it meant that everything was going well. 

He shook his head, “I need to stay up,” he muttered as he gently slapped himself, but he was exhausted. He always thought it was funny how crying made him so tired. How one could just tire themself out by just being so emotional. But keeping his eyes open was becoming a losing battle. 

~~ 

“Papi,” Pedro heard a small voice, he groaned in his sleep as he turned his body around. A small giggle erupted, “Papi!” 

He groaned once again, he knew that voice. “Que queres, Muñeca?” (what do you want?) 

“Tengo hambre,” you sighed as you lay on top of your father. His eyes slowly opened with the weight of his small five-year-old daughter on top of him.  (I’m hungry) 

“Tienes hambre? Y? Por que es mi problema?” (You’re hungry? And? Why is that my problem) You erupted in a giggle again, Pedro couldn’t maintain the straight face any longer. 

“Papi!” you pleaded. 

“Y/n!” He pleaded. 

“Tienes que dar me de comer!” (you have to give me food) 

Pedro sighed, “Okay, Princessa! Pero! Primero, vamos a?” (But, first, we’re going to?) You shrugged, “Vamos a dar la princessa… cosquillas!” (We’re going to tickle the princess) His hands went directly under your arms,\ and you erupted in a fit of laughter as he wouldn’t stop. 

“Papi, ya no!” 

He stopped, “Okay, okay, vamos a comer.” (let’s go eat)

You jumped off your dad, quickly jumping off the bed. “Quiero huevos con hamon y tocino!” (I want eggs with ham and bacon). 

“Ah, quieres un omelette?” You nodded your head vigorously as you both made your way into the kitchen. “Looks like Oscar left for the day,” Pedro muttered under his breath as he opened the fridge. He let out a deep breath as he took in the view of the almost empty fridge. There was enough food for him to cook one omelet and only one. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked as you nudge your way under your dads to look into the fridge. In your eyes, you didn’t understand why your father seemed so sad when he looked in the fridge, you didn’t understand that a fridge was not supposed to be this empty. But Pedro wasn’t going to tell you that. 

He wanted to contain whatever happiness he could in you. He wanted you to have a childhood that didn’t involve you worrying over things you didn’t have to worry about. Things you shouldn’t worry about. 

“Nothing,” he grinned from ear to ear, “Let’s make that omelet!” Throughout the past few years, Pedro had become really good at making omelets. It was only because it was you almost always requested and he appreciated it because it was some of the cheaper ingredients he was able to get. Other than boxed mac and cheese and packets of maruchan. He was feeding you college dorm meals but you were enjoying every last one of them. 

Pedro placed the plate in front of you as he sat down beside you, “Gracias!” you beamed as you dug your fork into the omelet and took a bite. You dug your fork in again, but this time you offered the bite to your dad who gladly accepted. 

He felt his stomach silently growl with that one bite of the omelet. Oh, how he wished for another bite, just one more and he would be satisfied. That’s all he needed to get through the day, one more bite, and maybe he could make it until lunch when he could go get groceries. 

“Papi,” your voice interrupting his thoughts, “Por que no estas comiendo?” (Why aren’t you eating?) 

“Porque las princesas come primero” (Because the princesses eat first). 

“El Rey no come con la princesa?” (The king doesn’t eat with the princess?) 

Pedro chuckled, kissing the top of your head, “No, the king eats later when he makes sure that the princess has everything she needs before he decides to take anything, y sabes por que?” You shook your head, “Porque quieren tanto a la princesa. Y sabes quien es la princesa?” (Because they love that Princess that much, and you know who is the princess?) You pointed towards yourself, “Si! Tu eres la princesa!” (Yes, you are the princess) He planted a kiss on your cheek, “Now eat!” 

You giggled as you took another bite of your omelet, it was torture for Pedro, but if you had asked him if he would relive this moment he’d say yes in a heartbeat.

~~ 

Pedro woke up with a jolt, for a second he had forgotten that he was in the hospital. Forgotten all the events that took place and for a second, he was in his happy place. Now the second was gone and all he could do was search for that feeling he got when he was in that place. 

“Pedro, the doctors will be out in a bit,” Oscar stated. 

Pedro sat up in his chair, “How long was I out?” 

“About an hour,” Javiera stated. 

Seconds later, two doctors wearing blue scrubs walked into the lobby. Pedro stood up, “please,” he muttered to himself. 

“Family of Y/N Pascal?” Pedro nodded. “She stable for now,” Pedro let out a relieved breath, “but the bullet barely missed her heart. It was touch and go there for a while.” The doctor took in a deep breath, “It’ll be a long journey or recovery, but she’ll be okay.” 

Pedro felt the tears well up in his eyes, “Thank you,” he sobbed. 

The doctor smiled, “She’s being taken to post-surgery, you can see her if you’d like.” 

“Thank you,” Javiera said as she shook the doctor's hands. 

“I have to see her,” Pedro stated. 

“Do you want one of us to go with you?” Oscar asked. 

He shook his head, “I just need to see her.” They gave him a nod, “I’ll call you guys up-”

“Don’t worry about us, Pedro. We’ll be here whenever you’re ready,” Oscar stated. 

He thanked them before walking over to the elevator. Pedro had to ask a couple nurses to help him find his way around the hospital, it took him about fifteen minutes but eventually, he found his way to your room. He took in a deep breath before entering, he was scared of what he would see, but he was also anxious to see you. 

He opened the door, letting out a deep breath as he took in the image of you laying in the bed. Wires hung from all over, a tube in your nose to help you breathe, and IVs in multiple places. He hated seeing you this way, hated how you were in this condition. Hated how he couldn’t have kept you safe. 

Walking over to your bedside, he pulled up a chair that was nearby. He sat down and took hold of your hand, “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t keep you safe,” he placed a small kiss on your hand. 

What he didn’t know was that you heard him and if you could have responded, you would’ve told him that it wasn’t his fault. That no matter how hard he tried, he could never fully keep you safe, that sometimes life is dangerous, even if you think you’re making the right decisions. 

Pedro sat by your bedside, waiting for you to wake up. He watched as nurses walked in and out of the room to check on your vitals. They reminded him that it could be anywhere from a few hours to even weeks, it all depended on your body. It didn’t matter to him, he would wait until the end of time for you to wake up. 

Within a few hours though, you had slowly begun to wake up. Your chest felt sore as you slowly moved around in the bed. You groaned at the feeling, “Easy,” you heard your dad say. 

“Thirsty,” your voice was barely a whisper, hoarse and scratchy. Like when you unexpectedly slept for twenty-four hours during summer break after pulling an all-nighter. Your tongue felt thick in your mouth, and your eyes fluttered open. They took a few seconds to adjust to the bright lights above you. 

You saw your dad walk over to you with a cup of water and a straw. He held the cup for you with one hand and the straw with the other. He set it down on the bedside table once you were done, “You okay?” You shrugged, “Do you remember what happened?” 

You nodded, “The movies make it seem like getting shot was like stepping on a leggo.” 

Your dad couldn’t help but chuckle, “You have no idea how happy I am right now.” You gave him a smile, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

“Yeah, you do.” 

He shook his head, “I don’t and it scares me. I don’t ever want to lose my blessing.” 

You grabbed his hand, “You won’t.” He smiled and placed a kiss on the back of your hand, “You know, it wasn’t your fault right?” 

He sighed, “We don’t have to talk about this.” 

“But it wasn’t,” you stated. “You can’t always keep me safe and you need to know that shit happens.” 

“Looks who is giving who advice.” 

“Dad,” you said sternly. “It wasn’t your fault.” Tears began to well up in his eyes, Pedro felt like he needed to hear it from someone else. To hear that the events were not his fault. 

To hear that he had done his best because he had. He broke down the door when who knows what could have happened if he hadn’t. 

“Te amo,” he whispered as he placed a kiss on the top of your head. Throughout the years you both survived multiple things. Your father helped you through your depression and your self-harm, you are each other's rocks. He made sure you had a roof over your head and food in your stomach, no matter the situation. There were good and bad times, but he always made sure to keep you oblivious to the bad because no matter how hard it got for him he wasn’t going to let it ruin your childhood. You thanked him for that because you knew he loved you that much. 

He noticed how quiet you had gotten, staring at the wall in front of you, “Everything okay?” He asked.

You sighed, “Yeah, just… Just taking it all in.” 

Fin.

Pedro Pascal Taglist: @cilliansangel  @change-the-world-someday  @graciegoeskrazy @oggystine93 @t-stark35 @twkobii @picklehat3r @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @white-wolf-buckaroo @steadydragongalaxy @rooting4theantihero @soupinasock @tracysnook @Ilovehotdadsandshit @dzaga890 @marantha @emmasauger @marysucks-blog @pcotato @scrappybear89 @dlwrish @what-ever-man213 @boiohboii @drowning-in-paragraphs @stoneredsworld @xmurph7

[stil-lindigo]

when worlds collide

[heartpascal]

Pls tell me there's a part two for "if the door wasn't shut". I need Joel and Ellie to come back and reader avoiding them and not speaking to them and just walking away when they try to talk to her. Ofc happy ending but make them work for that forgiveness

i would let you in

▹ — joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹ — summary: part two of if the door wasnt shut — after being abandoned in jackson, tommy and maria take care of you. joel and ellie’s return hurts far more than their departure.

▹ — a/n: i have no idea how the timeline is gonna work out in the show so ignore that!!! i went off on a bit of a tangent in this one… oops. anyways. let me know if you guys do want a part three!!!

▹ — warnings: angst!!!! AND MORE ANGST!!! oh yeah and a bit of angst too. father figure joel (except he’s failed that role for reader), arguments, throwing of objects, general hopeless feelings, sadness, not proofread, also you WILL like pottery and ceramics sorry!! almost father figure tommy….

▹ — tags: @faceache111 @viknowsbest @inkiqayo @wrcn9fvlcver @pedropascalsrealgf @httpjiikook @issybee0611 @liableperfections @dksjskx @canpillowscry @beeblisss @lizzylynch1 @randomstory56 @hiphopdancer101universe (once again just tagged everyone who asked for pt 2! pls let me know if you want the tag removed&lt;;3)

masterlist | PART THREE

howl’s song associations!

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Everything in this world felt empty. It all felt so… weightless. Like you could pick something up, and it would have no meaning. Sometimes, you felt that way, too.

You couldn’t help it.

It was like everything you felt had drained from your very being, leaving your deflated and aching and empty.

But the emptiness sometimes masked as rage, and then you were throwing all of these meaningless things at meaningless walls, sick to death of hearing yourself yell about things that didn’t matter, that held no weight.

It didn’t matter what it was, it just gave you the shortest reprieve of feeling something, of feeling angry. It burned hot in your veins, and for a moment, you were full of fire. Until your oxygen ran out, and the fire spluttered before it died away, leaving you panting and exhausted and empty once more.

You knew it concerned Maria. Knew that she didn’t need this, the stress of having some kid that lacked the ability to even feel remorseful for breaking the plate that she had only just given you. She should’ve been focusing on the impending arrival of her actual kid, not feeling responsible for the one her brother-in-law had practically dumped on her doorstep.

But you didn’t ask for this either, did you?

Even when you had tried to leave, tried to get a horse out of its stall in the stable, tried to follow the only people you believed you could trust, you couldn’t.

You just about remember the way Tommy had pulled you back from where you had been frantic, trying to untie the horse in a frenzy as your chest heaved, the abandonment trying to deep into your bones. You had coughed and gasped, doing everything you could to try and get this feeling out of you, but nothing had worked.

Then, you had woken up on Tommy and Maria’s couch, the two of them beginning to doze off as the night crept up on them. It had been Maria who had jolted awake first, even when you just rustled the blanket they’d placed over you.

You didn’t want her pity then, had outright refused it. The two adults had tried to comfort you, but you had made it so difficult — because why should you make it easy? Your trust had been burnt up, your tether had reached its end, and you felt… hopeless.

There was nobody left for you in this world — and you wouldn’t let Maria or Tommy try to change that, even with their consistent attempts at being there for you.

They had relented to letting you remain in the house across the road, despite wanting you to remain in their home. They brought over meals every day, whether it be from the pub in town, or from their own kitchen.

Luckily for you, they hadn’t mentioned the cuts to your hand, the ones you had gotten from scraping up shards of ceramic off of the floor, after yet another one of your meltdowns. Sometimes, the only way you could actually feel that anger, was to let it out. And considering they hadn’t given you any of your weapons back, throwing plates and bowls and cups against all available surfaces had to suffice.

It had been weeks — you were sure of it. As much as you tried not to take count, the absence of the only people you had left made the days and nights pass slowly, so slowly that it was just a matter of how many days had you been throwing things? Or how many nights had remained restless?

It was on the twenty-sixth day that Maria had enough, seeing the remains of yet another plate in the garbage around the back of your house.

“Okay, if you’re gonna keep breaking these, you’re gonna have to start replacing them.” Maria told you, voice sterner than it had been in a long time. She’d tried the gentle approach, tried being soft, tried letting you heal in your own way, but it didn’t seem to be working. So strict Maria it would have to be. “Come with me.”

You followed her, with some reluctance, but you knew you didn’t have much of a choice. After all, as much as you hated to admit it, you relied on her. Without her, you were screwed.

So, you shrugged on your coat, and followed her as the snow crunched underneath your boots. She took turns so quickly, with so little hesitation, that you were almost surprised. You’d been in Jackson for a few weeks, and this didn’t feel familiar to you.

She tugged open a shop door, coughing away the dust that shot up at her, and felt the wall for a light switch, humming in victory when the store lit up.

You looked around, confused. You didn’t have money to buy new plates… and this place looked empty. You turned to Maria, watching as she wiped the dust off of a circular… machine?

“Well, it’s not the cleanest,” She acknowledged, “But there’s some supplies left out back, and the boys know where to get more clay.”

“Clay? What— Maria, what is this place?” You asked, running your finger against the dusty grooves of a wooden table, feeling bumps of dried something, and leaning forward to inspect the tools that had been abandoned on the table.

“Old ceramics shop,” She told you, opening the door to the back section of the shop and opening a window to let the air breathe. “Hasn’t been a big priority, really. Came in to get some plates when some of the houses had none, but nobody’s been all to bothered ‘bout fixing it up.”

“So, why am I here?” You raised your eyebrows, starting to get annoyed.

“Because, you’re gonna fix it up. If you’re gonna keep breaking all my damn plates, you’re gonna have to replace ‘em.” Maria replied, opening the windows at the front of the shop, and twisting the sign on the door from open, to closed.

“I… I don’t know shit about making plates.” You offered up quietly, fingers picking at your nails as you tried to get out of this. You did feel… almost guilty, about her plates, but at the same time, it was all you could do.

“Well, no better time to learn. Got some books around here, that’ll help, I’m sure. You can figure this out.” Maria said, your name falling softly from her lips, and you missed the other thing she was doing, which would be giving you something to do, giving you a purpose.

You huffed, feeling something nervous brewing in your stomach, but nodded at Maria before she left. You looked around the shop, eyebrows creasing as you realised you had a lot of work to do.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Tommy’s face was a sight, the first time he walked into the old ceramics shop.

When Maria had come to him, nearing tears in her excitement, telling him that you had finally done the ceramics shop some good, he hadn’t known exactly what to expect. He was well aware how much time you spent in that old place, and he had scolded you over it numerous times, saying the dust would do you no favours… or whatever.

The two of them knew that really, the ceramics shop had done you some good, but Tommy didn’t quite realise how much effort you had really put into it. Sure, it had been more than a few weeks now, but you were on your own in fixing it up.

So when you opened the door, something so close to a smile on your face, he was surprised. Shocked, even.

The surfaces were clean, for a start, which was nothing short of a miracle in his eyes. The furniture had been put back into place, not counting the pile of rotted wood that was outside, unsalvageable. Old ceramic work had been cleaned and put on display, alongside two names — the artists who made them, Tommy realised quickly.

And then there were the plates sat on the counter. New, slightly misshapen, and there was a box next to them, already filled with old newspaper.

“To replace the ones I broke.” You told him, when he looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. Tommy couldn’t help the smile that grew on him, something proud in his chest.

He hadn’t known you for nearly as long as Joel had, but god, he could recognise it in you immediately. The resemblance to his niece, just barely peeking out when you didn’t bury that part of you. He could see why Joel had gotten so… attached. Even if you didn’t resemble Sarah within your mannerisms in a way that was uncanny, you were a good kid.

Despite all the plate-throwing, name-calling, yelling and tears he’d seen from you, he knew you were good. He couldn’t blame you for your reactions, not with the way you had been left behind. And Tommy — he could understand why Joel did it, far more than you could, at least, but he recognised the pain in you.

Even if Joel did it as a result of his need to protect you, it didn’t come across like that in your eyes. From your view, he had taken the girl he knew for a couple months, and dumped you with his younger brother. He didn’t want you, didn’t care about you. It hurt. It hurt and it burnt your chest when you thought of it, and the only thing that made you feel a different kind of fire was creating your own destruction.

But this, this was different.

Tommy could see it in your face. This was such a drastic change from the girl who did everything she could to destroy what she got her hands on. This was a girl who finally got to create.

And sure, in a box in the corner of the room, there were the shattered remains of your failed attempts, but it hadn’t felt quite the same.

You thought of it this way; by throwing his and Maria’s dinnerware, you were destroying something that belonged to someone else. It was familiar to you. Trying to create the pain that caved your chest in, within another person. And yes, it was wrong, on so many levels, but you couldn’t help it. You just wanted somebody to understand.

When you had taken that first circular sculpture out of the kiln, and thrown it as hard as you could, it almost… hurt. These things were an extension of you. You had shaped these with your own hands, folded them into what you saw fit, so why should you destroy them? How could you? You made them this way.

So you had hidden the rest of the failed attempts, shoved into a cupboard in the back section of the shop, and had piled up your best attempts for Tommy and Maria to take home.

“You’ve been busy,” Tommy said, his eyebrows raised as he walked his way around the old shop, noticing you had even cleaned the two-decades worth of grime from the windows. “These are good, you been working on anythin’ else?”

“Tried a mug,” You offered, shrugging, “Didn’t really go so well. Neither did the bowl.”

“Work in progress,” Tommy replied, knocking your shoulder with his elbow. “Thanks, kid. You didn’t have to.”

“Actually, Maria’s instructions.” You said, but amusement was taking over your voice as you said the words. It was true — she had told you to replace what you had broken. But you hadn’t expected to enjoy it so much.

Tommy laughed, picking up the pile and placing it in the box you’d prepared, three layers of duct tape going either way across the bottom of it. “Well, it’s appreciated, anyway. You ‘round for dinner tonight?”

You shrugged again, making your way behind the counter to shuffle through some things in the back room absentmindedly, rolling your eyes when Tommy followed. You didn’t mind him or Maria hanging around as much as you used to, but you kept them at a distance.

“Come ‘round.” Tommy said then, instead, no longer posing it as a question. They’d tried to get you to move in, take up the spare room that would eventually go to their unborn child, but you’d strongly disagreed.

“You cooking? Or Maria?” You asked him, eyebrow raised as you turned to look at him, leaning back against the counter.

“Maria,” Tommy answered, rolling his eyes at your snicker of amusement. “She tries not to let me within ten feet of the damn oven.”

You couldn’t blame her. On the days that Tommy had brought food over to that big empty house opposite their own, it had been… an experience. Luckily for the two of you, Maria had agreed to go out on less patrols as the weeks passed by, sharing some of Tommy’s nervousness for what could happen.

“Not surprised.” You commented, a small grin on your face. You looked around the room, picking at your fingernails before you spoke up. “Hey, I was thinkin’—”

“That’s dangerous.”

You ignored him, only responding with yet another eye roll, “Get a bed in here, some drawers… could be a good spot for me.”

“Somethin’ wrong with Rancher Street?” He asked, concerned as he stood up straighter, looking around the room, not quite sure why you’d want to leave the house that provided you with plenty of space, warmth, and running water.

“No— No, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just… pretty big space for just one person, y’know?” You said, and gestured towards the door at the other side of the room, “This place has got a bathroom, anyway, so. And I mean, I always eat at yours or at the hall.”

Tommy frowned, contemplating.

Though they would’ve preferred you to have stayed in their home, Tommy and Maria relented when you had insisted on staying in that house. In the end, they had figured, what’s the harm? After all, once Joel and Ellie returned — which Tommy was sure would come, eventually, — they’d be living in that house, too.

That was the point. The house on Rancher Street was reserved for the three of you. Tommy had hoped, secretly, that you staying there, meant you wanted to fix things up, once the others returned.

You looked to him, when he was quiet for a moment too long, and he cleared his throat. “‘Spose it wouldn’t hurt. Bit of a trek from here, to ours, though.”

“Tommy, when I was…” You trailed, looking away, “I used to walk miles in a day. This short walk won’t hurt me.”

“You got a point,” He acknowledged, tipping his head forward, and ignoring your unfinished sentence. “But man, Maria’s not gonna be happy.” He thought of his wife, waddling her way over when she was near-ready to burst, and shook his head with a grin. “For you, I guess she’ll get on with it.”

“Shut up,” You said, amusement clear in your tone. “Now get outta here. I got some more fixin’ up to do.”

Tommy put his hands up in surrender, before slipping the box of plates into his hands, yelling out a, “See you later!” As he left.

You shook your head, rolling your eyes with a begrudgingly fond expression as you took another look around. There was a table that wouldn’t do you any good, too big, so that’d have to go. You wiped your hands against your tattered trousers, and sighed.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

The lights in Jackson were warm, and filled the streets you walked through as the night slowly took over the day. It was nice, being able to see in front of you as the sky darkened. You tried not to get used to it, but knew you were settling.

It was hard not to — especially after Maria had officially declared that the shop was yours, for whatever you wanted to do with it.

You tried not to think of Boston, usually, but the last time you had had something that was truly yours, was there. It was hard to forget the things you had stashed away, hidden underneath floorboards that were concealed by the only half-decent mattress that Tess and Joel could find.

Thinking of that life was painful, especially when realising that it was unreachable. You hadn’t known it, when you’d left Boston QZ, but you would never get to return to that home that you’d built. To those things you had owned. To the family that had grown its roots in that crappy old apartment.

It was something strange, really. To think that all you had, perhaps all you ever would have, belonged to this town. You were reliant on its walls keeping you safe. At least that much was similar to life in Boston.

People were happier here, though.

You probably couldn’t include yourself in that statement, but for the most part, it was true. The streets remained lit through the dark nights, and you could go out for a walk at any time of the day, with no consequences. Which was a bit of luck, considering that Tommy and Maria always ate late on in the day.

Turning on to their street, you frowned, because the lights in the house opposite Tommy and Maria’s — the one you had yet to move out of — were turned on. And you always turned them off before you left.

You hurried into Tommy and Maria’s, shutting the door tightly behind you and kicking your shoes off in the doorway. “Guys?” You called out, hanging your coat beside the doorway and making your way toward where you heard their responding shouts in the kitchen. “What’s going on?” You asked, upon entering the room.

The glance they shared did not go unnoticed by you.

You raised your eyebrows as they looked to you, seeming almost… nervous. “Did you already tell her?” You asked Tommy, and saw the way Maria’s face immediately flashed with confusion.

“Tell me what?” She asked, turning to Tommy whilst being conscious to continue stirring whatever it was that she was cooking.

“I didn’t—”

“Then who’s in the house?” You interrupted, feeling like your stomach was sinking. You’d thought it would be strange for them to immediately place new people in the house, given that you hadn’t quite packed up the few things you had left there, and the shop wasn’t quite ready. But what other explanation was there?

“Okay, let’s just press pause for a second.” Maria said, shaking her head and looking to her husband. “What haven’t you told me?”

“Well,” He began, scratching the back of his neck, and gesturing towards you, “The shop’s lookin’ real good. And she was hoping she could, y’know, get a bed in there, and stay there.”

“So you haven’t moved new people into the house?” You asked her, feeling your stomach swoop down further as you spoke, and your mouth was going dry. “Then, does that mean—”

Tommy held a placating hand toward you, and it just told you all you needed to know.

“When?” You asked, feeling like your fingertips were burning and your chest was going to explode with how tightly it had constricted. They hesitated, so you repeated, more forcefully, “When?”

“No more than a couple hours ago.” Maria said, putting her spoon down on the counter and stepping forward, frowning when you turned away from her. “The guys on the gate spotted ‘em. Pretty banged up, but they’ll be okay. Sent them in to get some rest.”

“And you didn’t come and tell me?” You demanded, though your voice was weak and you had to hold your hand against your chest to try and steady your breathing.

“Kid, we—”

“Don’t call me that!” You snapped, immediately. Tommy sighed through his nose, nodding his head in something close to defeat. “I don’t want to see either of them. I’m not going in there.”

“You don’t have to do anything right now,” Maria said, frowning at your expression. “You can stay here, tonight, and we can sort the shop out for you tomorrow, but…”

Tommy placed a hand against Maria’s shoulder as she trailed off, “We were thinkin’, maybe you guys could talk it out. It’s been a couple months, now.”

“What’s there to talk about?” You questioned, voice sharp and paining your throat as you spoke. “They left me behind. Think that says everything, doesn’t it?”

It was all over their faces, the fact that they wanted to say more, wanted to say something in some kind of defence of the other Miller man, but they knew you. The married couple were more than aware that anything they said would mean nothing to you. You were like Joel, in that way, Tommy had said before. Stubborn.

They nodded, almost in sync, and Maria turned back to the stove, to continue cooking as she had been before.

“Would you get my stuff for me? When you get the chance?” You asked Tommy, who nodded his head, a frown prominent on his face.

“I’ll go first thing.” He replied, secretly hoping that come morning, you’d magically want to make amends with his brother. He knew it wasn’t likely.

“Thank you.” You said, feeling like heat was crawling up your neck the longer you stood there. The fire in your stomach was fading away, just leaving you feeling uncomfortably warm as you stood in the room. “I’m gonna go get some fresh air.” You nodded to the back door, and headed out once they acknowledged your words.

You stepped out, feeling the muggy air cool your lungs. It was colder than you’d expected, especially considering the way heat seemed to cling to everything in these parts, and you had to grind your teeth to stop the shiver that went down your spine.

It was only when Maria called to tell you dinner was ready that you stepped back inside, rubbing your hands against your arms to try and rid your skin of goosebumps.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Tommy had moved you into the shop the very next day, constructing a makeshift bed frame from whatever wood the town could spare, and bringing a mattress from an out-of-use house. You could tell he had wanted to say something, but he held himself back.

Now, it had been almost two weeks since they had returned to Jackson. And you’d been doing a fantastic job of avoiding any sight of them.

It hadn’t been difficult, in the beginning, with them taking time to rest and recover from their journey — or so Maria had told you. But it got harder as the days went on. They were beginning to explore the town, to join in on jobs, to eat where you would usually eat. It was getting annoying.

For the past few months, you’d found it so hard to live without them, but now, you realised it was much harder to live with them around. Hell, you’d even had to avoid Tommy and Maria’s on occasion, because you’d catch yourself starving before being in a room with the two of them, willingly.

Tommy had mentioned that they’d asked about you, that they’d been wondering where you were, but you didn’t need to say much for him to realise that you didn’t want them privy to any information about you. After all, they’d lost that right when they’d abandoned you here, in a town full of strangers, with no concern of what it might do to you.

You were getting angry, the longer it went on, the suspense of when you’d finally catch glimpse of them was eating you up inside. It was like life before Jackson, that feeling of being constantly on edge, of checking behind your shoulder consistently as time passed by.

It was safe to say that you weren’t happy.

You’d tried to keep yourself busy in the shop, in the little safe space in Jackson that was tucked away, belonging only to you, but things seemed tense outside of Jackson, and with Tommy taking on more patrols, Maria had been left alone an awful lot.

Tommy had asked you not to tell her, and you had absolutely no plans to, but he had asked you to hang around with her a bit more.

Partly for her own good, and mostly for his peace of mind. A little part, which he refused to tell you, was that it was also for your own good. Taking your mind off of Joel and Ellie was the best he could do for you, and this was the only way he knew how.

So, you had spent more time than you could’ve imagined at their house. Ending up falling asleep on their couch more times than you could count, with Maria insisting on waiting for Tommy to get home from his late-night patrols. He often came home to the two of you soundly asleep against the couch cushions, and you often woke up in a different position to what you fell asleep in, a blanket covering you and keeping away the slight chill.

It was one of those mornings, and you were in desperate need for a shower and some fresh clothes. You wrote a note for the two of them, knowing it was far too early for them to be up, given the way the sun was only just rising, to let them know you were going back to the shop.

Your feet were dragging with every step you took, and shuffling your jacket around your shoulders took more effort than you had expected. It was definitely going to be a long day, especially since you had promised Maria that you’d help her cook dinner later, considering she was still very against letting Tommy near the stove.

The morning air woke you up the slightest bit, but the chill of the breeze had you rubbing your hands together, regretting not bringing gloves, though you knew that later on it’d be far too warm for them.

You heard your name, and froze where you stood, hands clutched together, one foot in front of the other.

It was like your heart stopped the second you heard it, like it was being squeezed so tightly it couldn’t beat. The sensation made your chest ache, and you grit your teeth to move past the pain that had become all too familiar.

You heard him stop, his footsteps pausing as he hesitated behind you. You stood still for a moment more, before stepping away as he made a move to continue. He said your name again, trying to call you to a stop once more, but you hurried your pace, checking behind you after you had turned the corner, lucky enough to find nothing there.

A sigh escaped you, relaxing your tense shoulders just a fraction as you made a quick journey back to the shop.

You tried not to notice the anxiety balled in your chest when you finally made it. The way it was twisting up, pulling tighter on your lungs and leaving you feeling breathless as you thought too long on the slightest of interactions.

Despite not seeing his face, hearing Joel’s voice made their presence all too real, and you felt… overwhelmed. Nervous. Scared, maybe.

It was too much.

Why did they have to come back? Especially when you knew they hadn’t come back for you, but for the comforts of Jackson.

This was the only place that resembled the world before, the only place where you could feel something close to safe, and you could be comfortable. This town was a place for family, and it was clear that you didn’t have that, anymore.

Joel and Ellie had returned, but they weren’t your family. They had left you behind, to find your own way, whilst they went on an adventure of their own, creating a network of roots to settle in something close to a family of their own. You wondered if Ellie reminded Joel of his daughter, but tried to put the thought to rest as quickly as it arose.

You stepped into the shower, and tried to let the water wash away all thoughts of Joel and Ellie and family.

Later, when you stood at Maria’s side, stirring a pot on the stove as she took a moment to rest, complaining of the way her child was making her back ache. She told you about how it made her feel incredibly old, but you could see the fact that she appreciated it, as something of a reminder of the fact she was still here.

You had hummed along with her tangent, paying attention to her words but not feeling up to speaking all too much. Of course, Maria had noticed. She certainly prided herself on her observation skills.

“What’s up?” She asked softly, a strange contrast the the harsh voice she had just been speaking with as she had criticised her body for the pain it felt. Her hand was placed against the bump that has grown significantly, and you knew she was feeling maternal once again.

“It’s nothing.” You told her, because it was, wasn’t it? Joel and Ellie didn’t care about you, so why would you care about them?

“Mhm,” She hummed, raising her brows at you, “Sure it is. Got nothing to do with the two living across the street?”

You shook your head, continuing to stir the food, and tried your best to let out the sigh in your chest as a normal breath. It didn’t work, and Maria rolled her eyes at your denial of something that was so obvious. You didn’t say anything else on the matter, and couldn’t help but feel relieved when she finally let it rest. The two of you finished cooking, with you doing most of the work, and her giving all of the instructions.

But hey, you were much better than Tommy was, despite your inexperience.

It was when the door was knocked whilst you and Maria sat in their living room that you felt that tightening of your chest once again. She glanced to you, taking in the way your limbs had immediately tensed, all of your muscles straining like you weren’t sure whether to bolt, or stay completely still.

She raised a hand, telling you to wait where you were, and made her way to the front door after much groaning in her attempts to get up from the sofa cushions. You refrained from telling her that you were surprised she could manage it on her own, considering the size of her baby bump.

“Hey, Maria.” A familiar voice spoke, and your hands clenched into fists against your thighs, “Tommy in?” Joel asked, remaining outside the house.

“No, uh— he’s on a late patrol, today.” Maria responded, her voice much lighter when she spoke to Joel than it had been when the three of you had first arrived to Jackson.

“Ah,” Joel sighed, and you could hear him taking a step back on the porch, disappointment lacing his tone. It was too familiar. “Mind if I pop by, later on?” He asked, far more hopeful than you had ever heard him.

“Uh…” Maria trailed, and you knew she was looking back in the hallway, unsure if you’d be staying overnight. The wooden floorboards of the porch creaked as Joel stepped forward again, and you heard Maria shushing him as you clenched your teeth together. “Not now, Joel. It’s not a good time. I’ll tell Tommy to stop by yours.”

He sighed, and it was like you were back in Boston, with how heavy he sounded.

It was the same way he would sigh when you got too excited over something, like he was disappointed. Back then, you had thought it had been because he couldn’t guarantee anything for you. Now, you had no idea. You had always believed you had known him and Tess almost too well, but over the past few months, you realised just how wrong you were. Back in Boston, if someone had told them what would happen when you arrived in Jackson, you would’ve laughed in their face. Would’ve been so certain that Joel would never leave your side. You had no idea how wrong you were.

You swallowed, your throat feeling tight, and your tongue feeling like it was too big for your mouth as you heard the door shut, and Maria rounded the corner with a tight smile on her face.

With your heart pounding, you looked at her where she stood, and stopped her just before she could sit down, blurting: “Can you cut my hair?”

Her surprise was evident, but Maria nodded her head, and you tried to breathe through the pain in your lungs as you followed her to the kitchen.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It was week four, and Joel was getting antsy.

Every time he sat down, he found his fingers tapping an unknown rhythm against his trousers, his legs bouncing up and down as he nervously scanned the room, as though you’d appear from around the corner at any second. Of course, it never happened.

Each time he arrived back to the house on Rancher Street, Ellie’s head perked up, the most hopeful he’d seen her since before winter, and he had to shake his head. Had to watch her expression fall.

When he had seen you leaving Tommy and Maria’s, far too early in the morning for anyone to be awake, something had risen in his chest. He knew it was stupid, that he was a fool for thinking you might speak to him after what he did, but he had hoped so badly that you might just understand.

It was the closest he had been to you in weeks, and he hadn’t even managed to see your face up close, had only just about seen a glimpse of it when you had dragged yourself from Tommy’s porch. The moment he had gotten close enough to reach for you, you had bolted, leaving his hand halfway raised into the air as he stared after you, wondering if he should follow you, or let you go.

When he’d arrived at Tommy and Maria’s one evening, hoping to talk to Tommy about his anxieties, he’d found something else. They were shielding you.

And yes, he had asked them to protect you, had trusted them with something he had never even fully trusted himself with, but god. Joel had never expected that they would protect you from him.

But now, here he was, standing in front of an old shop that had likely seen better days, two decades ago. Ellie was by his side, her hand gripping the sleeve of his coat tightly, before she released it to knock loudly against the shop door.

He had half-expected for you to not answer.

Seeing your face, properly, for the first time in months was not the moment Joel had hoped for it to be. Not when your expression had immediately fallen from something of confusion to anger, to something defensive.

“Hi.” Joel breathed, feeling like he should really kick himself for the pathetic attempt at a greeting. Ellie was close to trembling at his side, trying to stay indifferent, but even from the corner of his eye he could see that hope rising in her expression.

“What do you want?” You snapped at them, wanting nothing more than to close the door in their faces, to slam it shut and lock it, to never open it again. But you refrained, something in your chest balling tighter, but you couldn’t help the desire that arose for something. An explanation, maybe. A good enough reason for you to forgive them, perhaps.

Joel jumped in before Ellie could, saying, “Plates!” He saw Ellie’s head whip towards him, a dumbfounded expression painted across her face. He watched you blink in surprise, and saw your expression go towards indifference as you huffed, and moved away from the door, allowing him to push it open a bit more, pulling Ellie in with him. She closed it behind her.

The silence lingers as you busy yourself with fortifying a box, feeling bitterness creeping up your throat. You thought about why they needed plates, and could not grind your teeth together, somewhat hoping that the scratches and dents in the kitchen counters couldn’t be fixed.

“Listen,” Your head snapped up to him, knowing what came next, and saw the way he backed down, the word kid dying on his lips. He cleared his throat as you went back to taping the cardboard box. “We were hopin’… that, uh, we could all have a talk. Clear things up.”

“I don’t know, Joel,” You began, the bitterness falling off of your tongue with every word, “You guys leaving seemed clear enough to me.”

He hated how much older you sounded.

“We left because we had to, not because we wanted to.” Joel defended, immediately, feeling the hope that had been flickering in his chest for the past four weeks sputter out.

“I remember trying to come with you,” You said offhandedly, keeping your eyes on the cardboard box as you put the final third piece of duct tape across the bottom. “You said: ‘me and Ellie. Not you.’ Remember?”

Ellie’s expression fell further, somehow, and Joel gaped for a moment, flashing back to the way your own face had fallen at his words.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” He said your name, almost like a plead, and frowned when you just turned to go towards the back side of the room, beside a closed door. You ignored it, collecting some of the better looking plates that had been stacked up there. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. I know you never asked for any of this.”

“You’re right, I didn’t. I wanted to stay with you. That’s what I wanted. No matter what might’ve happened, I just wanted to be with you two. You took that from me.” You said, voice harsher than Joel had ever heard it, even from when he and Tess had first taken you in. Remembering that version of you was painful, because he saw no resemblance within the you that stood before him.

Ellie spoke up then, her eyebrows furrowed inwards as she became something far too close to angry as she said your name, “You have no idea what we’ve been through—”

“You’re right.” You cut her off, placing the stack of plates in the cardboard box with a loud thud, “I don’t. And who’s fault is that?”

You looked between the two of them, as if you were expecting the answer, but Joel couldn’t bring himself to say it. You were so grown up, and he couldn’t understand it. It had only been a few months.

At their silence, you scoffed, and shoved the box towards them, watching as Joel instinctively shot his hand out to prevent it from falling off of the edge of the counter. He took the box, feeling like it was far too heavy for what it was, but perhaps that was just the conversation.

“I want you guys to go now.” You said, firm, despite the way your voice tried to shake. You wouldn’t let your voice tremor, not in front of them. Not when they didn’t deserve your devastation.

Joel’s face fell, a common theme in each of your recent interactions, and couldn’t help the way he felt sick to his stomach. All those months ago, you had been asking to leave with them, and now here you were, looking at him with eyes that he didn’t recognise, telling him to leave.

“Come on, Ellie.” He said reluctantly, turning away from where you stood, chin held high.

“No!” Ellie replied loudly, her lip trembling as she looked between you and Joel, like she was expecting something to magically repair the rift between you. Unfortunately, this world was real, and it was ugly, and you weren’t sure that fixing things was even possible. “We— We can’t just give up.” She said, pleadingly, looking to Joel to fix things, like she was so used to him doing.

But Joel knew that this was something he couldn’t fix so easily. “We’re not giving up.” He responded then, training his gaze on you, where your eyebrows had furrowed and you had turned your face away from them.

“You should.” You told him, your own trembling lip matching Ellie’s, before you turned away fully, making the short few steps and entering the back room, shutting the door tightly behind you.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“You asshole!” You yelled, the moment you saw Tommy stood in the kitchen doorway of his home, with him having turned to face you at the sound of his front door slamming open. He looked confused, but you didn’t fall for that expression, even as he said your name in an even more confused tone.

You stormed over to him, pushing your hands against his chest and feeling him take a bracing step back, not stopping you. He held his hands up by his side, surrendering once again, and you couldn’t stop your eyes from stinging with tears.

“How could you fucking do that to me?” You asked almost desperately, pushing your palm against his shoulder again, and then you felt Maria step around him, place a hand toward you that you flinched back from.

“Do what?” Tommy questioned, dumbfounded, and holding a hand up toward Maria, who backed off at your blatant dismissal of comfort.

“Tell them about my shop!”

Tommy’s face became one of realisation, and Maria whacked a hand against his chest. He immediately looked guilty a moment after the realisation, and held his hands out towards you.

“I let it slip, I know, but I didn’t realise he’d noticed. I swear, I wouldn’t tell him that purposely. He came ‘round?” Tommy spoke, frowning when you took a step away from his hands as they reached for you. He couldn’t help but feel like Joel had unravelled all the trust he had built with you, and his frustration grew at the second realisation of the evening. You could only nod in response, your expression a mixture of anger and devastation. “I’m sorry, kiddo, I didn’t mean for that. Joel wants to fix things up, yeah, but—”

“Fix things? Tommy, how could he fix things?” You asked, your volume raising immediately as you cut him off. “Joel— He knew everything about me, and he chose to leave. He left me willingly! That isn’t… every time I see myself, I see those parts that he rejected. How do you fix that? Tell me how you fix that, and I’ll fucking do it, Tommy, but I can’t figure it out. How can you fix that? How can you forgive that?”

You were yelling, you knew you were, but you couldn’t stop yourself. Everything you had built in Jackson was shattering like those stupid plates in that stupid kitchen. Tears were falling down your face, and Tommy blurred away as your eyes continued to fill with them. It felt never ending, this whole situation did. How did you fix this? Could you?

“I don’t know.” Tommy admitted, feeling like his heart could tear from his chest as he looked at you, your breaths shaking as you tried to get through sobs, your face covered in tears, chest heaving. “But we’re going to figure this out. We’ve got you.”

He moved towards you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders when he realised you’d let him. He felt your arms tremble as they wrapped around him, and he stared past your head as he took notice of Joel frowning in the still-open doorway. They shared a look, and Tommy gave Joel an all too familiar expression, one that he used to give when Sarah would be upset. Too upset for anybody else but Joel to be present.

It felt strange, to Joel, not only to be on the receiving end of the look, but because it was concerning you. But what was he meant to do? How could he fix it?

Joel frowned, nodding at his younger brother, and closed their front door as he turned away, breathing out a sigh that felt far too heavy. He needed to figure this out.

“Come on,” Tommy said, after a few moments, when he was certain you hadn’t noticed Joel closing the door. He led you over to the sofa where Maria was waiting, and when you collapsed next to her, they held you between them until you fell asleep, face still wet from tears. “It’ll be okay.” He spoke, quietly, despite knowing you were asleep. He was half saying it to himself and Maria, too. They needed the reassurance just as much as you did.

Tommy decided then, that when you woke up in the morning, he would do his best to help you figure everything out. And as he shared a look with Maria, he knew that she’d be there, helping right at his side.

PART THREE

[hamoodmood]

Do you like older guys??

I like dilfs (and this is what I mean👇)

(dni if you're not one of them ^^)

[ellieslittleburrow]

Summary : You were supposed to come home at dusk. But the flaming sunset was too beautiful not to enjoy. Joel doesn't like that.

Warnings : None, just the very beginning of a father-daughter relationship

A/N : Comments and critics are welcome 🥺🥺👉👈 your girl needs them ❤️

------

It's....some time after dusk and your body is vibrating, endorphins being the cause of that. You rush "home" calling out for Joel as you enter the house.

"There you are" You turn to him when your eyes find him. "Youwould nnnot believe my view today." You start walking up to him, momentarily wondering why his features are still-but you're elsewhere, really it was-"Such a good view-the clouds orned the sky with like-a shit ton of colors and all the greens turned into these like-muddy greys and-

"Shut it, Y/N" A sigh of exhaustion follows his rage, causing you to shake your head in disbelief, stopping mid sentence.

"Wha-"

"When did i tell you to come back?"

"Uh" You watch the man, examining his facial traits-which now that you actually look-don't seem as amazed as you are by that story youre telling-

"I asked you a question, Y/N" he gets up and you take a step back, jerking your head again in, slowly processing things.

"You...before it gets dark-But i really didn't think it was such a big deal i mean-" your eyes widen as his face extorts.

Maybe youuuu shouldnt have said that??

"But its only been a few minutes since it got dark." You attempt a defensive response but given the bitter scoff that just left his lips- "not a big deal?" it's easy to say your attempt has failed.

"Not a big deal?" Joel's voice abruptly rises. "Do you have any idea what i had gone through in the past hour?" He leans inward and you lean away, tensing up.

"Joel i wouldnt have g-"

"Next time i tell you to do something-You do it. Get it?"

You watch him, ignoring the question.

"Get it?" He asks again, voice lower and teeth gritted.

"Joel-im sorry i didn't mean to d-"

But Joel walks away, unforgiving, causing you to unconsciously and softly launch yourself at his back, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your cheek against his back.-What else would you do- "Joel i swear i didn't mean to scare you-I'm sorry" You bury your cheek harder against his back.

And as silence sets in, His fingers softly brush against yours, and for a second it seems like he's giving it a thought-before he averts his hand away and yanks yours from his waist.

"Just don't do it again." His voice is softer than earlier, calm and more collected.

It's not your first fight, really. It's just your first....sentimental one. He's never acted this way before, and you've never actually done such a thing not on purpose. Sure, you carried a gun without him knowing for a while. And you lied to him about your whereabouts a million times. But you never even thought he'd ever get this worried.

Does that mean he's getting protective over you?

-----

@mymelodymia

-----

I've been overthinking this bitch for the past month. I'm sincerely hoping yall liked it ❤️❤️❤️🥀🥀🥀

[scoopdi-woop]

No thoughts. Not one single thought besides Ethan Hawke in western films

[reidispunk]

TAKE IT SLOW KID

JOEL MILLER x PLATONIC!READER

★⇢ summary; He saves you from the cruel life you’ve had but is it a mistake now after you begin to see him as a father-figure?

★⇢ warnings; angst, violence, mentions of death, slight trauma?,

★⇢ a/n; This is my first tlou fic so bare with me 😭 I hope the story makes sense like it did in my head and sorry if theres any mistakes, english isn’t my first language :)

★⇢ word count; 2,1k

Joel, like everyone else living in this fucked up world had changed after september 26th. His cold, ruthless demeanor had developed after his Sarah had died in his arms. He had convinced to himself that the paternal part of him was long gone and what remained was just a shell of a man, he had swore himself to never getting too close with too many people, or trusting them.

Until he saw you, lying on the ground while two grown ass men were beating you, a teenager, a kid. The feeling he swore would never come out again, he felt it in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly he was holding Sarah, his baby girl again while she bled to death and all the memories, the painful feelings he tried to push down were coming back up again. He needed to walk away, he needed to suppress the feelings away but he just couldn’t, he couldn’t walk away because the painful screams you were letting you were getting to him.

He went to an autopilot, surged towards the men and the only goal was to save you. After he managed to scare the men and he slowly came up to you “hey kid, cmon up” he extended a hand towards you. You shook and slowly lifted your small hand in his, he pulled you up “wheres your parents kid?” he asked after he flinched his hand away from yours.

You knew you probably shouldn’t trust this stranger but he saved you from those men who have taunted you a while. His presence scared you but you felt safe. But after he asked you that question you shut down and he could probably see it. “Don’t know, probably dead. Thanks for saving me I should go-“ you said not wanting to get out of the conversation as soon as possible because you knew that the fedra people would come looking for you. But he stopped you before you could even take a step. “Slow down kid, where are you going to go then?” he asked. “I don’t know, I’m thankful but I can’t stay here” you said looking pleadingly at his eyes. He sighed “You’re a kid, should have a home at least.”

You look at your feet now, painful memories coming up how everyone you loved left you. “I don’t” is the only thing you get out

———————————————————————

“Tess where is the kid!” You hear Joel yell after he came back to his small home. Tess is not here but Michael is who is now holding a knife to your throat, you hear Joel yell your name and you know he’s looking for you.

“One fucking word and I kill you and the grandpa after you” you hear Michael behind you speak. Tears are now rolling down your eyes and you hope that Joel doesn’t come to the room, but at the same time you want him to save you. You want him to protect you from this man behind you but you know you shouldn’t hope that.

“This ‘ain’t funny anymore kid!” You hear his voice and you let out a sob. “Shut the fuck up bitch” you hear from behind you. Suddenly the door is being pushed open and you see him, the man who has saved you now multiple occasions and took to his home, gave you a bed and food. Something no one has done for you.

“Joel” you creek out while tears are rolling down you cheeks, you see the panic in his eyes. You never really cried in front of him before. “Look man I don’t want to fight, I only want the girl. Just let us go and nothing bad will happen” you hear Michael speak behind you. You know he’s scared of Joel but it didn’t stop him from coming for you.

Joel looks at him and sighs “fine” and he steps away from the room. What? No. No no no. He can’t do this to you. You let out a sob “I told you shut up you fucking stupid ass kid” michael says and you feel him move the knife and it makes a small cut to your throat.

He’s pushing you out of the room and you can’t even look at Joel, he’s abandoning you just like everyone else. You thought you could trust him, the times you had to hold yourself back from calling him dad after he took care of you are now haunting you while you walk towards his front door.

“What the fuc-“ you hear that man suddenly speak behind you and hes pulled off you and being stabbed by Joel. You stare at him, in shock. He had said yes- he actually didn’t mean it? You fall to your knees, the panic still tearing your insides. You start to sob, you can’t breathe. Why can’t you breathe? It feels like everything is slowing down. Suddenly you feel someone, a palm pressing down on your cheek “kid, hey everything is okay” You hear a muffled voice speaking.

“look at me, hey! Slow down kid” You finally recognize the voice, it’s dad- Joel. It’s Joel, he saved you, you’re okay. You look up to him now, you see an emotion you can’t quite understand. “Dad?” you say weakly, still not breathing evenly and immediately regret it because you see it in his eyes, the shock and you feel him physically tense up.

Joel never thought someone would be calling him that again, he does see Sarah in you. Whenever you let out a little laugh or you tease him about him he can’t help but think his baby girl. But now you’re shaking because you thought he would let them take you. “It’s okay, everything is okay, I got you” he forces out. He know that you’re smart and he knows you probably noticed the way he tensed after you called him.. that.

“I-i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have called you that I-“ you imminent go back into a panic mode and apologize profusely. Joel says your name softly “its okay, slip ups happen” he says and you flinch but don’t say anything else.

You get up, avoiding Joels gaze and walking back to the room you claimed as yours. You close the door behind you after you hear Joels voice call after you. You can’t, you can’t look at him. It pains you how desperately you want him to accept you as what? His daughter? You know that there was a child, his child who died and you know it pains him so why are you even thinking this? Curling to the bed and pulling the sheets up to hide from the world but you hear joel open the door and step inside.

Tears are rolling down now, you don’t know why and you refuse to let Joel see it so you just hide your face from him. He says your name again and he sits down next to your curled up legs. “Look kid- I’m sorry I had you thinkin’ that I was going to let them take you. I swear that I would never do that to you” He says to you.

You sit up now but still don’t look at his face, you know he can see the tears now, “You- You should’ve let him.” you say to him “I know” you pause and wipe your tears “I know i’m a big burden on you and Tess and-“ you continue but Joel shuts you down “Thats not true. Kid you are no where close to being a burden” he says to you. You feel your head spin and suddenly you remeber the cut michael gave you, and lift a finger to feel it and you see your blood, you look at Joel and he already has the things to treat the wound.

Hes getting up and kneeling down in front of you, “I’m going to clean it first and then bandage it up, okay?” he says and you are just nodding. He does it fast as possible and it doesn’t hurt too bad. Now he’s looking at you “Joel I- thank you. And I’m sorry-“ he shakes his head and says “You have nothing to apologize for kid, I’m sorry for not keeping you safe enough” and that is what breaks you. You crumble and start sobbing, you hide your face in your hands in shame for not being stronger to hold it in. “Oh baby girl, it’s okay let it out” You hear Joel say while hes pulling you to his arms and he hugs you “he was going to kill me and- and” you say “I know, I know, shh” he says and rocks you side to side gently “he said he was going to kill you after me I- dad-“ you sob in to his shoulder not even noticing that you called him that again, but he does.

Joel feels it in his guts, “baby shh, i’m fine. Everything is okay” and he stays there until you calm down.

He notices your steady breathing and he realizes that you fell asleep on him, he sighs and gently places you to the bed. He knows this is not a good life for a kid, he found you when you were about 11years old and he watched you grow right in front of him. You are older now but still a kid, he knows he’s attached to you but he pushes the thoughts down and quietly leaves the room after tucking you in.

——

“Joel!” He hears you scream and he’s up in a flash “dad?” you yell and he bursts in to your room to see you toss in you bed. He walks over to you “Hey kid, wake up everything is okay” he gently shakes you and you don’t wake up. He says your name but you still don’t open your eyes but you’re still panicking about something in your dream “no please no don’t hurt him please, hes all i have” you yell.

Now he’s shaking you again but with a little more force “baby girl” he says and you shoot up and breathe unsteadily. He sees the panic in your eyes while you look at him “hey i’m here, you’re okay” he says to you and he sees you start examining him “you’re okay” you say and then he realizes, you weren’t worried about yourself at all. He has always knew you were selfless and tender hearted like many kids but he didn’t realize you were so worried about him “i’m okay baby, i’m okay” he says and looks at you with gentle eyes. Suddenly you throw your arms around him, he didn’t expect that but hugs you back regardless.

“You know you remind me of my daugher Sarah” he starts and he feels you tense slightly. “You don’t need to talk about it Joel, I know it’s a touchy subject” you say with a crooked voice. His heart tugs and he continues “I want to tell you about her, she had a beautiful smile just like yours and- and she was a snarky girl like you” his voice cracks. All the memories flood back, his Sarah just after she was born, her first day at school and when she repaired his watch for him for his birthday.

“She would’ve liked you kid, and you would have liked her.” he says and puts his palm to the back of your head and sighs. “I would have, she seems like she was a great person” you answer him.

“I had a sister.” you start. Trying to stay calm you continue “She was my best friend, she was all I had after my parents.. She protected me from the world and I owe her everything. She-“ you can’t keep your tears away anymore. Joel gives you time to gather yourself “After we got into the QZ they separated us and put me in the fedra school and she had to work. The first time i saw her after they separated us was when she was about to leave to smuggle something for more rationcards because she was struggling. I insisted that I would come with her because she was all I had, she said yes and we went outside.” You continue while trying to gather yourself “We got stuck in a building and there were so many of them, the- the infected chased us around the building until we found a door and I tried to open it but it was jammed but I managed, I stepped outside and she.. didn’t come out, i heard her say that she loves me and get back to the QZ and I stood there, while the infected were ripping my sister to pieces I-“ you choke up a sob “I listened her screams and I fucking couldn’t do anything I- I couldn’t move, maybe if i convinced her not to go she still would be-“ you couldn’t continue, sobbing to Joels shirt while he slowly rubs your back.

“It’s not your fault.” Is the only thing he says while he tries to calm you down. “It’s not your fault” he says again.

[thee-person-writes]

These 18 seconds of audio from the new episode of The Last of Us are enough to carry me through the week

[icyfox17]

I WATCHED THE WILD ROBOT!!!!! IT'S SO GOOD

It didn't make me cry which shocked me bc everybody told me it was Depressing and I didn't find it that sad... (And I cry easily) But it was so very sweet!!! I really really loved it<3

[soulreader05]

Happy Father’s Day🎉

To my live action dads

To my cowboy dad

To my government dads

To my space soldier dads

[castiels-favorite-hunter]

me, working on my WIP as the Tired Pedro Pascal Dad (TM) desperately tries to get his kid in a bath - :)

also me, ignoring the fact that I also need to get in a bath - 👀

I just need a TPPD to come drag me away from my computer and shove me in the shower and wash my hair for me, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK??????

[afictionaladventure16]

It's the End of the World (Pedro Pascal x Teen!Reader)

Chapter 2

Word Count: 1,563

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

Previously on It's the End of the World...

Warnings: none.

It was close to getting dark, Pedro decided that it was best to find somewhere to sleep for the night and then head out in the morning. He led you to a nearby neighborhood, the houses were big. 

“Look at that one!” you pointed out, at a mansion-looking house, the driveway was curved. You only saw houses like these in movies. “I wonder who lived there,” you commented. 

Pedro shrugged, even though he knew he did live there. He knew almost everyone on this block, but he didn’t want to mention them because mentioning them meant accepting reality. Pedro began walking up the driveway to one of the houses, “We’ll stay in this one for the night.” 

“Why this one? Why not all the other ones?” 

“Because the door is open on this one,” he stated as he gestured towards the open door. Pedro led you inside, the house was dusty and had some windows broken, probably the result of all the raiding. 

You began to make your way upstairs, “the roof caved in, in the bathroom,” you said as you walked around upstairs. 

Pedro was still downstairs, he looked around the house when he saw a portrait remained intact on one of the shelves. He smiled at the photo, it was of him and his siblings, they were at a red-carpet event. It was a photo he had always cherished. He grabbed the frame, unhooking the hinges in the back and taking the photo out. He folded the photo before placing it inside his bag. 

He didn’t know why he took you here, maybe it was because he needed to see his home one last time. He didn’t know if after this journey if he’d be able to see it again and even though it wasn’t really his home, his home was really in New York, it still held lots of memories for him. 

You had made your way to what seemed like the master bedroom. Whoever had lived here had an eye for decorating, everything seemed to match, but now the walls were torn and the mattress was torn apart. Clothes were laid all over the floor, and you stepped over them to look into the drawers near the bed. When you opened one of the drawers you found a photo, it wasn’t just some random person in the photo, but Pedro. Pedro and two boys. 

You looked around the room again, “Oh shit,” you muttered. You slowly made your way back down the stairs, the photo still in your hand. Pedro had heard your footprints, he was placing the couch cushions on the floor, “I was thinking we could use the cushions as a mattress, there’s also a hole in the ceiling probably from the bathroom, but it gives us a really nice skylight,” he began to say, he turned around to face you. “What is that?” he asked. 

“I uh, I found it in one of the drawers upstairs,” you said holding the photo out for him to grab. 

He took the photo from you, a smile forming on his face, “I remember this,” he said softly. 

“How come you didn’t tell me this was your house,” you responded. 

Pedro shrugged, “I don’t know.” He sat down on the makeshift bed. 

You sat down next to him, “are they your kids?” 

“My nephews.” 

“You miss them?” Now it was your turn to ask the questions and Pedro couldn’t help himself but let out a small laugh. 

“I do,” He folded up the photo and placed it inside his bag. “That’s why I need to get to Arizona.” And you needed to get to Texas. Pedro took out some canned food from his bag, handing you one, “you should eat.” 

“Thanks,” you opened the can of baked beans, you never imagined having to eat a cold can of baked beans before, but you did what you had to do. “Do you think they’re in Arizona?” Pedro handed you a spoon from his bag.  

“I hope so,” Pedro said, opening his own can of baked beans. He wasn’t as closed off to talk about his situation with you, mostly because he felt like if he opened up maybe you would too. For some reason, you reminded him of Bella and he felt this urge to protect you the way he did with her. 

“What if they’re not?” Pedro stayed silent for a moment, “I’m sorry, that was rude of me.” 

“Then I will search every QZ in America,” he said with a smile. 

You didn’t ask any more questions, you got up and walked over to the bookshelf that was now on the floor. You picked up a book that looked to still be in good condition. 

“One Hundred Years of Solitude, one of my favorite books,” Pedro commented. You flipped through the pages, “You can take it if you want.” 

“Really?” you asked in disbelief. 

He chuckled, “I mean, it’ll just get ruined if it stayed here, a book like that deserves to be read.” 

You smiled to yourself as you walked back over to the cushions with the book, “my dad used to take me to Barnes and Noble all the time,” you began to say, placing the can of beans on the floor beside you as you began to look at the dedications. “Sometimes we’d go through the store looking through books to find some of the best dedications.” you found the page, “Here it is! For jomi garcia ascot and maria luisa elio. It’s simple but sweet, I like it.” 

Your fingers traced the words on the page, they had meant something to someone once. These people had been on this earth and they were this person's family or friends and to them, it may be meant the world to them be someone's inspiration. Now, for all you knew, they were gone. It could’ve been in a matter of seconds and just like that, they no longer existed on this earth. 

You closed the book, placing it on the floor beside your bag. “Do you miss them?” Pedro asked. You nodded, “Texas is a bit of a ways for you and your brother to have gotten separated.” 

“We didn’t get separated,” you corrected. “He left because he was in the military and shortly after the outbreak they needed him in Texas.” 

Pedro nodded, “and your parents?” 

“My mom died when I was three,” you said nonchalantly, you were used to saying it so often that you had grown numb to it. It didn’t bother you anymore. 

“What about your dad?” 

But that one did, “I’m actually really tired now,” you quickly changed the subject, “It’ll be nice to have some cushion for once,” you smiled, trying to avoid any other questions. 

Pedro didn’t try to push it any further, he was happy with the information he was able to get out of you so far. But he knew you had been on your own for a while and he knew you were hurting. Pedro took the empty cans, “Goodnight, kid.” 

“You’re not going to bed?” 

He shook his head, “Not yet.” Pedro walked out of the room, he threw the cans in the kitchen sink before rummaging through the cabinets. He was lucky to find a few canned foods. 

“Pedro!” You yelled out. 

Pedro’s heart sank, and he ran back over to the living room, you were still lying down on the cushions. He let out a relieved breath, “Don’t scare me like that, kid.” 

“You got to look at this!” You exclaimed as you motioned him over. He gave you a confused look, but he laid down beside you. “Look,” you pointed towards the small hole in the ceiling, it was big enough to see the sky above. 

“What am I looking at?” 

“Just wait,” you both looked at the sky, waiting for what seemed like forever. Then it was like a blink and you would have missed it, “There!” you exclaimed. 

Pedro smiled as he saw the shooting star, “it’s a meteor shower.” There were a dozen shooting stars that followed. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen one,” he commented. 

“We’d always have to go outside of the city just to see them,” you commented. Pedro looked over at you, seeing tears beginning to well up in your eyes, “It didn’t matter if it was a school night, my dad and I would stay up as late as possible watching all these shooting stars.” 

“Your dad sounds like an amazing man,” Pedro commented. 

“He was,” you whispered. 

Was. It was enough for Pedro to know what happened to him. To know that he no longer existed in this world, just like the people on the dedications of books. 

“I should get some rest,” you said as you wiped away your tears before turning on your side. Pedro wanted to say more but felt like it wasn’t the right time, you still needed time to adjust to things and he wanted to give that to you. He wanted you to open up when you were ready, not because he pressured you to. 

“Goodnight, kid,” he said softly. Tomorrow was the beginning of a new journey and he didn’t know what lay ahead. He had so much anxiety thinking about it, but he wanted to act like he had it handled even if he didn’t.

Pedro Pascal Taglist: @Sophieelizabeth01  @tracysnook  @cilliansangel  @change-the-world-someday  @graciegoeskrazy @oggystine93 @t-stark35 @twkobii @picklehat3r @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @white-wolf-buckaroo @steadydragongalaxy @rooting4theantihero

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Next on It's the End of the World...

[canigohomenoow]

manifesting being in my promising scruffy young teen with a troubled backstory and a mouth on them who is on a mission and accidently finds an unwilling father figure but then you both secretly grow to like each other over the course of life or death situations era

[heartpascal]

if the door wasn’t shut

▹— joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹— summary: months of travelling with joel and ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.

▹— a/n: i don’t like the second half of this one D: but i made you guys wait long enough so i apologise!!! been super busy so this is v rushed but i hope you enjoy nonetheless

▹— warnings: angst, loss of loved ones, tlou ep 5/6 spoilers, father figure joel, reader is really scared, not proofread

masterlist | PART TWO

howl’s song associations!

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Had you known that those days in Boston QZ would’ve been the last peaceful ones for a long time, you think you might’ve treasured them more. Held them closer, let the edges sharpen when you thought of them, rather than seeing only blurred images, the memories faded.

You wouldn’t have believed it if somebody had told you. The life you lived in Boston was flawed, at best, but it was your life. Filled with violence and bloodshed, sure, but there were things you could control. Things that Joel and Tess had always made sure you could control.

Out in the wide world, the facade of control that the two adults had always kept up crumbled to dust in your hands, lost to Infected and hunters and shelters in the strangest places.

It was a difficult shift in your reality, and you tried to hide it from Joel. He had already given you so much, hell, he and Tess had provided you with a home, even when they had no obligation to do so. You owed them more than your life.

When you had met Ellie, you immediately disliked her. She grated on you, her biting words and humorous comments doing nothing but fueling your growing dislike of her. She was childish — she acted her age, showed her fear, and it was something you just couldn’t understand. You were far too used to closing down the emotion behind your eyes, to shutting away all of your baggage in a box deep in your mind.

It had worn you down, eventually. Hating her was much harder than you expected it to be, especially when she looked at you for the understanding she knew you possessed. You even watched as Joel softened up to her, far faster than he had done with you, and you couldn’t help but follow in his example, as you always tried to do.

Hushed conversations when following Joel’s tense figure, something young passing over you, something that had seemed so… far away. You had always thought that bonds like this could only exist in the world before your own, trust Ellie to prove you wrong.

But one gained friendship didn’t quite make up for all the losses. It was Tess, to start with. Something that had singed your lungs and left you breathing the smoke, something of choked words leaving you when she had revealed the bite on her shoulder. She had looked at you, that understanding passing through her eyes, grief for a life she wouldn’t get to live. You understood the gaze far more than you wanted to, and you knew that the burns scarring your insides wouldn’t fade for a very long time.

Then, it was finding out that Bill and Frank were gone.

It seemed wrong. Something so untouchable, so guarded, how could it possibly be gone? You couldn’t understand it, couldn’t understand how the few people you valued seemed to be dropping away before your very eyes, faster than you could even reach for them.

The journey seemed pointless to you, after that.

Though you felt for Ellie, that selfishness that had always been drilled into you rushed in, drowning out the empathy towards her cause. It left you with something empty inside of your chest, and you couldn’t figure out a way to fill it. You weren’t sure you wanted to.

It only got worse.

Warm days turned colder, the nights going to something nearby freezing, and then there was the events of Kansas City. You had been so sure Joel was going to die, that you and Ellie would follow soon after, that you couldn’t move. Your legs seemed frozen to the spot, and even as you heard the struggle in the other room, it didn’t quite register.

It was only when Ellie managed to get Joel through to the room you were hidden in that you managed to snap out of your fear-induced haze. Your eyes were cloudy, and after that, it was so hard to focus.

You and Ellie had found some comfort when Sam showed up alongside his older brother, Henry. They were a breath of fresh air in the hellscape of a city, and for once, you witnessed true childhood. Saw it in the way Sam scribbled on his board, in the way he laughed at whatever Ellie had written on it. It was contagious, almost.

That was probably the happiest you had been since leaving Boston, and it all fell apart so quickly. Like the first sparks of a fire squandered by the downpour of a storm.

You can’t even remember much of it. Not the big parts, anyway. You remember the little things, like the colour of Sam’s hoodie, or the splinters you got from the floorboards as you fell backwards, scrambled away from the only semblance of childhood you’d ever had. You remember looking to Henry, something in your chest begging to be let out, but choking on it before it could escape. Your remember the sound of something splattering against the wall, and you remember Joel touching your arm after the burial.

Everything was blurring together, but one thing stood out; that overwhelming fear that threatened to sweep you away with every sound you heard, every flash of movement in darkness, every loss you witnessed.

Each day it became harder to shake away the haze to your eyes, harder to feel something other than scared, harder to close that box in your brain and leave those big feelings in there. It became so prevalent, all of it weighing you down, pressing tightly against your shoulders, and somewhere along the line you knew that Joel and Ellie had noticed.

Whether it was your withdrawn behaviour, or the gaping hole ripped into your chest, you weren’t entirely sure. But they knew. Perhaps not to the extent that you believed them to, but they knew something wasn’t quite right.

And now it was the cold threatening to take the three of you — it was freezing the blood in your veins, the air in your lungs, and you really weren’t sure how much more of this you could take. It had been months since Henry and Sam, but it felt like it had been both no time at all, yet so far away. Everything still felt so raw, so fresh, despite time passing as normally as ever.

Joel had somehow managed to find winter supplies for the three of you, consisting of a coat and gloves, a hat that you let Ellie take. It was enough to keep you all alive, but it didn’t stop the chill seeping into your very bones, making it feel all the more harder to keep going.

It got to the point where you just didn’t want to. Couldn’t.

“Come on,” Joel said, your name falling from him as he patted your shoulder, all of his supplies already packed up, “Time to go.”

Getting up seemed impossible, so you didn’t. Just let your eyes glaze over and watched as Joel and Ellie grabbed their weapons, glancing outside of the cabin you’d taken refuge in. Joel looked back to you, his eyebrows furrowing as he noticed you hadn’t packed up any of your things, hadn’t even moved.

He looked at Ellie, frowning when she noticed, too. He made his way over, crouching down with aching knees, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Kid, we gotta get moving.” Joel said, shaking your shoulder the slightest to gather your attention. You just looked at him, shaking your head. “C’mon. We don’t have time for this.”

“I don’t wanna go anymore, Joel.” You told him, finally admitting the words that sounded so much like defeat. You hated that the world had won, but you were so tired of fighting that you just couldn’t bring yourself to do anything but lose.

Joel shook his head, eyebrows creasing, an expression close to dumbfounded crossing his face. He couldn’t understand.

“We’re closer than we’ve ever been!” Ellie said encouragingly, the biggest smile she could muster on her face. You couldn’t bring yourself to look in her direction, instead looking down to where your fingers pulled at the loose threads on your sleeping bag.

“I can’t,” You said, much closer to tears than you had even realised. “I can’t keep doing this. Joel, I wanna go home.”

His frown just deepened, uncertainty present in every feature on his face. Joel didn’t know how to handle this, and there really wasn’t that much time to do so.

“Kid…” He sighed, before sitting down properly beside you with a pained breath.

“No, Joel, I— I want to go back. I want all of this to go away. I want Tess.” You admitted, heart pounding so hard just at the mention of the woman you had lost, and it was painful. Your chest aches the more you thought about it, and there was the realisation that you were homesick. Though you weren’t sure if that’s as for Boston, or for Tess.

“There is no goin’ back, kiddo. Tess… she’s gone. Nothin’ we can do about it.” Joel said, taking a moment to steady the shake in his voice after saying her name. It was just as painful for him as it was for you.

“I’m… I’m scared.” You confessed, voice barely a whisper, but it echoed around the empty walls of the cabin. The confession almost scared Joel, he knew you preferred to keep everything locked tightly, never admitting to the fear he knew was there. “All the time,” You continued, lips trembling around the words, “And it’s all I can think about. I can’t keep doing this. Every time we meet something I just get so scared, I can’t move, can’t speak.”

“It’s okay to be scared—” Joel tried.

“No, it’s not! It’s like I’m frozen, and every time, I lose someone. I can’t watch you guys die. I can’t do it.” You cut him off, the tears falling from your eyes as you looked at Joel.

He couldn’t do much more than frown, unsure how he could fix something like this. He knew the feeling more than you could imagine, so familiar it was the clearest thing he could remember. Joel had felt this way for years, but he was an adult. He had people relying on him, he couldn’t shut down in the way he knew you wanted to.

“We’re not gonna die,” Joel said, hesitantly. It was stupid to make promises in this world, especially when danger and the unknown lurked around every corner. “We’re all goin’ to be just fine. Listen to me, kid, we’re gonna get this done, and then we’re all gonna find somewhere, no infected, and we’ll just live. But we need to get through this, first.”

You shook your head, turning away from him, and he glanced to where Ellie stood, the guilt flooded onto her face.

“You two listenin’?” Joel asked, beginning to pick up your things and shove them into your backpack. “We’re getting close now. It’s almost over. Got nothin’ to worry about.”

“He’s right,” Ellie said, quietly, passing Joel something to put in your bag. “Let’s just get this over with.”

They packed up your things around you, Joel grabbing your arms to help you to your feet, and Ellie linked arms with you as soon as you were up. Together, they managed to get you out of the cabin, back out into the cold.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

You had been so sure that one of you was going to die when the people on horses showed up, guns trained on each of you in turn. You thought it was going to be Joel when he shoved you and Ellie behind him, his head spinning around, taking count of the people who were a danger to you.

Then, they brought out their dog, and your heart stopped when they directed it towards Ellie. It was going to be her, you were almost sure of it, thought that it would get a whiff of something from the bite scarred over her forearm.

You held your breath for a long time, not able to let it go even when the dog settled, playing happily with Ellie. Surely, these people would shoot you, regardless. They certainly didn’t seem very friendly.

But no, they were taking you back to their town, with you and Joel sharing a horse while Ellie rode on her own. You’d never ridden on a horse, and before, you may have enjoyed the experience, but you could only feel that suffocating fear that made you choke on your words, so scared that these people were taking you to their town just to kill you. Or worse. You’d heard of people who do worse.

You couldn’t get the words out to express your concern to Joel, forced to stay silent and cling on to him as the three of you made your way past the walls, surrounded by strangers. You shared a look with Ellie, that nervous understanding shared between the two of you once more.

Your fingers twitch, aching to wrap around your gun, but that was the first thing these people had taken. Then it was your knife. And then the axe Joel had you storing in the side of your bag. It didn’t help that helpless feeling, that fear clogging your throat.

Joel’s tense frame loosens suddenly, something like relief sinking into his bones as he shouts, “Tommy!” A man immediately looking up from where he was stood atop of some scaffolding. Joel slides off of the horse, handing the reigns to you, before meeting his brother halfway in a tight hug.

Ellie frowns, and you understand the furrow to her brows as you looked at Joel and his brother. He was all the two of you had.

The two of you stick together as you follow Joel to wherever his brother is leading the three of you, sharing nervous glances and only just about relaxing when you’re seated with hot meals in front of you.

You did your best to tune as much of the conversation out as possible, even ignoring Joel’s comment about slowing down, as you shoved as much food as you could into your mouth while the opportunity was there. After all, who knew how long this would last?

Ellie kicked your leg when Tommy mentioned about a tour, the two of you reluctantly leaving your plates behind to follow the three adults. Maria went on with her touring speech, talking about when and how they settled in the town, with Tommy pitching in about the shared resources. It was only when she talked about separating you and Ellie from Joel that your attention was really caught.

“Joel.” You said, urgency in your voice, a pleading look sent his way as he wrung his hands together, his brother already heading in his direction.

“You’ll be fine.” He said to you and Ellie, nodding in your direction and missing the look of defeat you and Ellie shared as he walked away.

“Shall we?” Maria asked, looking between you and Ellie. She was half-turned away already, but caught the way you both gazed nervously at Joel’s turned back. The two of you nodded, following behind her as she made her way through the town, clearly as familiar to her as the back of her hand.

Ellie answered all of Maria’s idle questions whilst walking alongside her, though her answers were slightly withdrawn. It comforted you, even the slightest bit, to know that you weren’t the only one who was feeling distrustful towards this place. That you weren’t the only one on edge.

Maria opened the door to the house you, Ellie and Joel were meant to be staying in, swatting a hand in front of her face as dust rose up from the untouched surfaces.

“Homely.” Ellie commented, stepping around Maria to peek into the living room, and then the kitchen, whilst you remained beside the door with Maria.

“It’s not much, but it’ll keep you warm. And it’s got running water.” Maria said, despite this being more than any of you had had in a very long time. She smiled tightly at you, head dipping as she looked around. “Make yourselves at home.”

“When do I get my gun back?” You asked, probably the most you had spoken since your slight… outburst at the cabin, just a few days prior.

“Kids ‘round here aren’t armed. Nobody is.” Maria answered, eyebrows creased as she looked at you.

“Right, well I’m not a part of your commune, or whatever, so I want back what’s mine.” You replied, with more heat to the words than would’ve been considered respectful. You couldn’t really find it in yourself to care, though, because how were you meant to defend yourselves if you had no weapons? Especially considering Maria clearly didn’t want Joel here, and by extension, you and Ellie.

Maria sighed, a slight exhale from her nose, and you stepped away from her, looking towards Ellie, who stared right back at you with something nervous in her gaze. “We’ll talk about all this later, okay? How about you guys go take a shower, and I’ll grab you some new clothes.”

Ellie nodded, practically leaping up the stairs, and you heard doors slamming open until she finally found the bathroom, yelling an: “Aha!”

“There’s just the one shower in this house, but if you wanna have one now, mine and Tommy’s house is just across the street.” Maria offered, kindly.

“I’d rather wait.” You replied, voice snappier than you expected it to be, but you bounded up the stairs and flopped down in the first room you found.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Ellie had taken forever in the shower, so it was a while before you finally took your turn. As much as you hated to admit it, the warm water cleared away much of your bitterness towards this place. It felt good. Finally being clean, properly clean, after going so long living off of what little you could take when travelling across the country. You hadn't had a shower like this since Bill and Frank’s — and you hated thinking of it.

Maria had been around earlier, bringing two piles of clothes hanging in each arm, dumping them on the bed outside of the bathroom Ellie had been showering in. You hadn’t acknowledged her, so she had nodded and left quickly.

You didn’t exactly enjoy feeling like you owed anybody anything, but you had to admit that slipping on the clean clothes that Maria had left felt good. Wearing the long sleeved t-shirt underneath a thick jumper was probably the warmest you’d been in a long time, not that you would’ve admitted that to anybody.

The small part of you that had been numbed for the past few weeks began to thaw, and you felt almost embarrassed of how you had treated Maria earlier on — despite you having every right to act in such a manner. So, with a huffed breath of annoyance, you decided to follow the note the woman had left, and made your way across the street.

She had shouted to come in almost as soon as you had knocked, and you opened the door hesitantly.

The first thing you noticed was the sound of hair scissors, and it sent a pang through your chest. Then you heard Maria and Ellie chatting, and followed the noise. The chalkboard in her living room caught your eye, and you frowned as you passed by it.

“What’s going on?” You asked, eyebrows drawn together as you stepped into the room to see Ellie putting up her short hair.

“Just a trim,” Maria said, waving the scissors in her hand, “You’re up next.”

She noticed the way you tensed, drawing your arms back up towards your chest as your eyebrows furrowed further. It was defensive, the way you immediately curled in on yourself.

“No, no, I— I don’t want my hair cut.” By you were the words missing from the sentence, going unsaid but not unheard as one of your hands reached up to hold onto the too-long ends of your hair. They were splintering, and unhealthy, but you couldn’t do it.

The last person to cut your hair had been Tess — a memory you treasured, held so close that it almost hurt to think about. It was one of those things that had come naturally at the time, but felt so taken for granted once Tess was gone. You could remember the evenings so clearly, one of the only times that she allowed herself to come across as something almost maternal.

It would feel like you were betraying her, her memory, to allow someone else to take scissors to your hair. It was a job that belonged to Tess, and Tess only. You pretended it didn't hurt, the length your hair had grown. She would’ve never let it get this long.

Maria frowned, but seemed to take your defensive words and body language for a good enough answer. She placed the scissors on the counter, an act of truce, if you had ever seen one.

“Okay,” She said, hands up in surrender, before she reached to the counter and grabbed the coat that had been laid there. “Here, put this on. We’re going to the movies.”

You had no choice but to do so, tugging the coat on and resorting to holding it closed with your arms folded across your chest when your fingers trembled on the zipper. Ellie glanced at you with a frown, and checked you were following her and Maria out of the door, just huffing out a small sigh as you closed the door behind you, hurrying to catch up.

Sitting around a bunch of kids was one of the weirdest things to happen to you. You’d spent most of your life surrounded by only Joel and Tess, occasionally Bill and Frank, hell — Ellie was the first person your age that you’d really spoken to. After everything the two of you had been through, being surrounded by children felt much stranger to you than being surrounded by adults.

You could understand adults, to a certain extent. Kids… were a different story. So transfixed on the movie projected on the wall ahead, which you couldn’t understand. You felt vulnerable, sat in the middle of the room. Out of the loop, even, as adults watched and chatted around the edges of the room.

It was why you went to find Maria whilst Ellie followed Tommy out of the place, confused on why she had brought you here. “What am I meant to be doing here?” You asked her, when you finally found her standing to the side, gazing at the movie.

“We’re at the movies,” She laughed, saying your name, “You’re meant to be watching the movie.”

“Why?” You asked, incredulously, because how did this help anybody? Watching fake people in an image against the wall might’ve fascinated you, but you were nervous. Paranoid. At any moment, they could have people breaking into the town, knocking down the walls, anything… so why waste time and people watching a movie? To you, it would’ve made more sense to have more of these people stationed as guards.

“Entertainment,” Maria offered, moving from where she had been leaning against the half-wall. “Whatever you wanna call it. You’re not out in the wilderness, anymore. You’re safe. Take some time, enjoy the film.” She told you, and you hated the sympathy that she held in her gaze.

You moved to say something, but followed Maria’s gaze to see Tommy walking back through the doors. Without another word to her, you were shoving your way through the crowd and pushing the door open, back out into the cold air.

By the time you found your way to the house on Rancher Street, both doors at the top of the stairs were tightly shut. You frowned, unsure why they would’ve shut them, and made your way up to the room Ellie was in.

“Ellie?” You whispered into the darkness of the room, seeing her turned away from the door as she lay on the bed. She was still, and remained quiet. With a sigh, you closed the door and crossed the hall, opening Joel’s door with the same results.

You tiptoed back downstairs, frowning as you laid a blanket across the couch, swatting the dust that rose to the air.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Waking up to an empty house stirred the panic that you had been storing away. You felt frantic as you tumbled up the stairs, ripping the covers away from the unmade beds as if Ellie or Joel could’ve been hiding beneath them. But finding nothing just made everything so much worse, because what if you were right all along?

Anybody could’ve come into the house, caught the two of them off guard, and what could they have done? All of your weapons were taken from you, which meant no defence, and no deterrent.

You were ripping the kitchen apart before you could think to do much else, pulling drawers out and sending the dusty contents crashing to the floor. In the end, you found nothing of use — the sharp cutlery had long since been taken, leaving dust in the empty compartment that should’ve held knives.

Your last resort was the plate you had smashed against the counter, leaving a dent in the material upon impact. Blood trickled down your cheek from a minuscule cut, the result of a tiny piece of ceramic. You grabbed the sharpest piece of the plate in a gloved hand, and marched out of the front door.

Upon entering Tommy and Maria’s house, you were greeted with nothing but silence, despite the impact the door had made against the wall when you had opened it. A small piece of paper on their kitchen counter caught your eye, and you snatched it up.

Going to the stables first thing. Love you - Tommy.

The edge of the paper was crinkled, and you figured that Maria must’ve seen it already.

Your run to the stables was frantic, and not at all subtle. People stared as you practically sprinted across the town, almost slipping on patches of ice that blended in with the snow. “Slow down, girl!” Somebody had shouted at you as you passed, but you just gripped the sharp ceramic tighter, barely feeling the way it had begun to tear at your glove.

“Joel, Ellie!” You shouted, almost hysterically, as you finally saw the two of them. Ellie was already sat upon a horse, holding the reins as Joel spoke to his brother. They both turned to face you as you approached, an almost defeated look matching each other’s expressions. “What—What’s going on?” You asked, stumbling into Joel and feeling him grasp on to your shoulders to get you to finally stop.

Joel shared a look with Tommy, who looked back at him with what was almost sympathy.

“Kid, I…” He sighed, rubbing a gloved hand down his face as his speech trailed off.

“What?” You snapped, gripping the ceramic tighter.

“Listen to me,” Joel said, his hand squeezing your shoulder as he said the words. “Me and Ellie are heading to the University—”

“Let—Let me grab my bag.” You told him, trying to turn away but feeling his grip tighten before he turned you back to face him, a bracing expression on his face. He looked almost pained.

“You’re not listening!” He told you, sounding far too close to frustration. “Me and Ellie. Not you.” He repeated, watching carefully the way your furrowed eyebrows fell, something so similar to grief presenting itself in the way your whole expression fell apart.

You looked to Ellie, only to find her gaze averted, and shook your head as you turned back to Joel. “What? You’re— You’re what? Leaving me behind?”

“It’s not fair for us to ask you to—”

You cut him off, stumbling back and away from his hands, and watched as they fell from the air where they had held on to you. “It’s not fair?” You asked, trembling from something other than the cold as you looked at the only man you had ever trusted.

The ceramic in your palm fell to the ground, fibres of your glove clinging to the edges of it. Joel frowned.

“Not fair?” You repeated, at the sound of their silence. “You know what’s not fair, Joel?” You questioned, stepping forward to push your hands against his chest, feeling your chest ache when he did nothing to stop you. “Following you two, all this way, just for you to fucking abandon me!”

“We’re not abandoning you!” Ellie said, then, her voice sounding just as childish as the words did. Because if they weren’t abandoning you, what were they doing? They hadn’t even said goodbye — if it weren’t for you running out here, after waking up to find them gone, you might have never even seen them again.

“Yes, you are!” You yelled at here, feeling your throat clog up as your vision went cloudy, “And after everything…—”

You stared between them, waiting for them to have a response, but neither of them did.

“I lost everything, following you here. Everything! It’s all gone. Tess…” You trailed off, feeling tears bubble at the corners of your eyes as you said her name. It was a betrayal, more than anything. If it weren’t for this whole adventure, Tess would’ve been alive. Bill and Frank, maybe not, but Tess.

“That ain’t fair, kiddo, we—”

“None of this has been fair. None of it! And you—you were just going to fucking leave me! How’s that for fair?” You asked desperately, despite knowing that no answer they could give would be what you wanted. All of your fear over losing them, it had never considered that they may leave of their own accord.

Maria said your name, approaching from behind you, and you didn't flinch when she placed a hand on your shoulder. You missed the pain on Joel’s face at the way you allowed her to comfort you, but had moved away from his attempts. She pulled you a step back from him, and another, until she finally turned you away as your tears spilled over.

Tommy shook his head when Joel made a move to follow the two of you, and you pretended not to notice their gazes on you as they strode by.

“How could they just…” Your voice broke off at the edges, and you felt the haze to your eyes returning as you looked at Maria, the realisation that you were alone hitting you harder than any of your fear ever had. That was fear; a possibility of what could happen, whereas this… this was reality.

And your reality was that nobody loved you enough to stay.

PART TWO

[lizandreil]

do you ever think about david waymack being the only healthy parental figure neil ever had and cry? coz i do it ever day.

[acozysoulwrites]

Found family | J.M

Description: (fem!reader) and Joel are sitting in an empty town atop a roof when the conversation of her father comes up. Joel realizes he’s helping her as much as she’s helping him.

~ No trigger warning ~

They are sitting atop a tall building. The night is young, the stars only just appearing, coming out from hiding. Clickers followed, they could hear a dozen below them, prowling blindly through the streets, listening and waiting for something or someone to move.

Joel tosses a pebble and it clinks, rolls down a metal roof, and a clicker shrieks, stumbling after the noise. He smirks to himself.

"You’re nothing like him, you know."

Joel frowns, glancing at her. "Who?"

"My father. You aren’t like him. I shouldn't have said that earlier... So I'm sorry."

Joel nods slowly, eyes facing back out into the darkness. "Okay, apology accepted."

She lets out a sigh, picks up a pebble, and tosses it.

"What was he like?"

Silence fills the space between the two and for a moment, neither of them moves an inch. Joel worries he's opened an old, unhealed wound.

"He was kind of an asshole" She breathes.

Not upset. Good.

"He was a drunk when I was growing up, then when my mom filed for a divorce, he basically quit drinking right then and there." She starts.

Joel hums, "Well, that's good ain't it?"

She shakes her head. "Like I said. He was an asshole, tons of abuse" She says quietly, looking at her hands which worked nervously in her lap.

"You ever get involved?" He asks.

"If necessary, then when she left I took her place."

Joel nod's again, letting her know he was listening. He swings his feet back and forth slowly, nervously. He wasn't great with this emotional, comfort shit... But he was trying.

"Did you get out?"

"This was my out," She gestures to everything around them.

Joel feels a pang of sadness in his chest. He brings his hand up to her shoulder, pulling her against him. "I'm sorry kiddo", he almost whispers.

She leans into him, her arm wrapping around his back gently. "It left this... sort of emptiness inside me, you know? Like there's always been something missing for as long as I can remember. A father, maybe" She says, a small smile growing on her face as she feels him squeeze her tighter.

"Yeah... I'm sure" Joel says, glancing down at the girl in his arms.

Joel knew that emptiness. He had felt it for far too many years now. When he lost Sarah... Well, it had nearly consumed him. Yet lately, little by little, the emptiness in him had started to fill up again.

Little did he know, hers had too.