#peanus

[cosmonautroger]

Peanuts, The Smiths, How Soon In Now?

[ms--lobotomy]

I know that only his arms are supposed to be iron, but do you think Ferrus Manus' dick is as well? It would genuinely hilarious

YOU.

[callmealx]

getting my peanus circumsized in the gay sex section of walled mart

[leansuccubus]

Jorking my Darkin

A deranged fucking piece based off of a convo i had with a friend. This is also on ao3 but i’m posting it here too just because 💀💀💀

Warnings - Smut, Kayn literally jorks his scythe???, idk just smut and a fuck ton of weirdness.

🩸

Kayn was bored. So utterly bored that the idea of practicing his edgy monologue he would say to his enemies while slaying them wasn’t even appealing to him anymore. On top of that, Rhaast was being oddly quiet for once. That damn demon would never shut the fuck up, always had to be yapping about something (mostly blood, death, and killing people). He thought he’d enjoy the day Rhaast would finally shut up and leave him alone so he wouldn’t look like a feral schizophrenic on the streets, but he found himself missing the constant banter. It just felt off. On top of that, he lost all hope that there would be a new mission to get him up on his feet and satisfy his boredom. Zed would’ve told him earlier if that were the case, Zed is never late. Kayn flopped down on his bed, glancing at the walls briefly before doing what any bored person would do. He whipped it out and stared at it for a good few seconds as if he expected it to talk to him, saying something like “Kaynnnn i am the holy meat stickkk ooooooo put me awayyyyy” It didn’t, Obviously. Being a feral schizophrenic does things to you. After a few seconds of staring at it like it was some kind of newly discovered creature, Kayn mindlessly started jorking it with his dominant hand, which happened to be his left. The same left hand with the corruption from the darkin. He held onto his scythe for support as he quickened his pace. Like any normal person would. Of course, Kayn never let go of his scythe, he even slept with it sometimes. All of a sudden, a weird aura enveloped Kayn. He stopped for a second before shrugging it off and continuing. He was far too bored to even care. Perhaps this would provide some form or entertainment to soothe his boredom. With his attention now focused on his left hand, he notices something odd. The corruption is still there despite Rhaast being unusually quiet…how strange. Usually the corruption comes and goes at will of either Kayn or Rhaast. Deciding to “ignore it” once again, Kayn increases his pace once again, gripping onto the scythe harder, his other, sweaty hand beginning to slip down the handle. “Kayn… stop that” a deep, rumbling voice spoke, threateningly. Rhaast. Although he commanded Kayn to stop, time his voice was quieter, and lacking of the confidence and authority the darkin had always flaunted.

“I can’t Rhaast, it feels good” Kayn replies, picking up the pace even more, his corrupted hand squeezing harder, seemingly moving on its own. His breath was ragged at this point, not quite used to the overwhelming sensations. He was a busy man, constantly killing things (noxians) and training. He couldn’t recall the last time he had time for himself.

“Damn you boy…” Rhaast chokes out. Just as Kayn was about to finish, in that small moment of vulnerability, Rhaast takes over Kayn’s body. Not enough to fully corrupt him, but enough where Rhaast is fully in control of his motions. Kayn could still feel everything, and Rhaast was well aware of that. Rhaast takes the initiative to go at an impossibly fast pace. He then aims his (kayn’s) purple headed yogurt slinger towards his non corrupted eye and just like that, stops possessing Kayn’s body. Everything happened so fast, Kayn couldn’t process his baby batter being shot into his eye until it actually hit.

“RHAAST.” Kayn growls out while clutching his baby batter glazed eye.

“heh heh heh” Rhaast chuckles in satisfaction.

As if things couldn’t get worse, Zed, who had innocently gone to Kayn’s room to give him news of a new mission, had witnessed it all. He was frozen in horror from the hallway through the slightly opened door. Zed considers spearing his eyes out for a split second before walking away, eyes wide, paler than a ghost.

[binch-i-might-be]

anyway I bought a pickled radish

[scxvnger]

[finitefieldsofstars]

more like peanus mnms lmao

[probably-not-okay]

due to unforeskin circumcisions, the penis will be cut from the schedule this evening :(

[your-hotdog-husband]

(still working on this one oka?y!

[would-anyone-like-some-bears]

I love to lift, launch and bounce on it 🥴

Begging on my hands and knees for game devs to move away from the linguistic convention of "this ability/attack/effect/etc knocks the target up" to refer to something being launched vertically into the air. Say it lifts the target. Launches them. Bounces them. Just please stop giving characters abilities that say "Knocks up your opponent", PLEASE.

[ms-misogyny]

my life hard . Like penar

[redacted-cryptid]

Thinkin aboug peanus

[likeadragon-peanus]

get asked loser

hello po!

hindi ako bibigay art 👍

[runa-falls]

pffft -- i read peanuts and genuinely questioned if i added a part where she's allergic to peanuts 😀 no but ur right, penis just isn't a sexy/serious word 😆 so i gotta shuffle between cock/hardness/erection/himself (fucking himself into you, clenching around him, etc) it's hard word! (eheh 'hard' you get it)

ok but fr, mig do just be fucking until she's off to dream land~

size kink with miguel 👀

yes, nonnie, of course.

edit: bro, i'm sorry, this got away from me...

cw: smut (18+), size kink, somnophilia, oral (m-recieving), dry (wet?) humping, the big stretch™️, crying ;-;, finger riding, teasing/edging, free-use (miguel hehe), piv, tummy bulge, overstimulation, cockwarming, uhhh i think that's it???

miguel is so big, he could only slide against your pussy during the first few months of dating you 😵‍💫

you're barely able to take him into your mouth, let alone down your throat, but you still try your best, giving him sweet licks against the sensitive head and sucking him in with a soft moan.

he loves watching you. how everything about you is smaller -- and not because you're smaller, but bc he's just insanely big.

he needed to be the one to stop you from fucking him the first time. you were so desperate to get him inside of you, convincing him with breathy whines that you can take it, you'll be good for him + stretch out as much as he needed.

though he thoroughly prepped you, he could barely push himself into you and as soon as his tip breached your entrance, you cried out and he could barely move.

he had to grit his teeth when he felt how hot and tight you were, almost losing control when you fluttered around him from the intensity of stretch. he slowly pulled out with a heavy groan, eyes blazing red and claws ripping into the mattress next to your head.

he let you pout, whine, and beg for him to try again, but he wouldn't give in. he was too scared of hurting you.

you mewled and writhed in his arms, whining about how you crave being stretched and filled. the only way he could sate you was by plunging two fingers into your cunt, rubbing relentlessly against your g-spot until you're shaking in his hold.

of course, he makes up for his refusal to fuck you.

miguel is a sweet boyfriend: he'll let you grind your naked body over him at any time of the day until you're seeing white and cumming against him, completely soaking his sweatpants as tears spill from your eyes.

he lets you tease him as much as you want, sliding your dripping pussy over his cock until he's unbearably hard and spurting precum all over himself.

he even lets you ride his fingers, letting you take his arm away from whatever he's working on so you can comfortably roll your hips over him and grind your clit against the palm of his hand.

when he finally does fuck you, it's impossible to get him away from you (not that you mind). miguel is mesmerized by how well your smaller body can take him. how you squeeze around him so sweetly, gushing and trembling as he moves against you.

he loves seeing the outline of cock pressing against your tummy, how he can literally see himself move into you as your body struggles to make enough room. he pushes down on it and you get infinitely tighter. his scarlet eyes stares up at your euphoric expression, pretty lips shaped into an O for him as your eyes roll back with pleasure.

miguel, as spider-man, has no refractory period. usually, he'd stop after two or three rounds, but now that he's felt your molten heat over him, the way you shudder around his cock when you cum, he can't get enough.

even when you're filled to the brim with his cum, he still hard inside of you, fucking you harshly until you're dripping everything onto the sheets below you.

<cw: somnophilia>

sometimes you're so exhausted, so delirious with pleasure, that you pass out while he's still rutting into you. the first time it happened he freaked out a little, hoping he didn't push you to far. once you gave him the green light to continue, so turned on by the fact he can fuck you to sleep, he doesn't hesitate to take you all the way.

you regularly wake up with a pleasant soreness between your legs. miguel makes sure to show you extra soft loving in the mornings, cooing about how sweet and pliable you were the night before. sometimes you wake up and he's still inside of you, face cutely nuzzled against the back of your neck.

UM ANYWAY-- 🫠👀

[bigshotmot]

i guess i gotta be done w tumblr mobile bc now it just glitches and regularly sends me to the top of the dash when im scrolling & if i reblog shit directly from someones page it wont load any more of their posts when i scroll down. also the white box on the tag bar when i try to reblog is so fucking distracting. whys it white. why do you like tell me toadd tags when i make a shitty lil text posts do you people have any understanding of how people use this site. i mean you clearly dont but whatever

[celestiachan]

peanus