#peace within and without
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Different standards
#didnt mean to do this one in quote unquote colour but it wasnt legible without it so. heres a treat i suppose#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#coughs up a lung. anyway. ramble time as per usual. this is what i was warming up for btw in case it wasnt obvious#besides being another entry in the 'letting bonnie read loop for filth on accident' series. this is mostly self indulgent musings on#headcanons (and i will just use that word here.) ive previously rambled about in other tags and posts#namely: in the scenario that loop integrates into the party as a New Person for quite a while before The Truth Come Out. i feel they have#a decent chance at really scoring a slam dunk in becoming a guardian figure for bonnie? loop's demeanor is already colder and a tiny#bit more level-headed than siffrin's in the way they seem to discuss bonnie with them. namely pointing out that bonnie#never really hated them. it seems to be one thing they're genuinely at peace with? they've seen by now the truth that bonnie#was just scared and upset. and likely now knows that what bonnie wants is to be treated with grown-up respect within reason. plus loop#already scores bonus points with bonnie since they didnt 1. fuck up bad like sif did in act 5 and 2. saved sif in the party's eyes#... but then when it turns out that this clean-slate relationship with a stranger was siffrin being deceitful? must have been odd.#bonnie seems to really dislike being lied to. the question is whether they'd see it that way? would they feel betrayed there?#anyway. this is set after all those emotions are at least settled some. loop able to be more physically affectionate... and yet#still not letting themselves be quite as close as they'd like perhaps. perhaps...#anyway translucent pyjamas because i dont care if you're comforting a crying child you've GOT to SERVE!!!#and also i feel like the party probably wouldn't let loop stay completely naked for that long. especially not post-reveal anyway
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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could just be me but i really do feel like team galactic are all best friend buddies who have fun together. also i watched this (their episode of pokémon generations) recently and it only deeply emotionally wounded me a little bit
#like they all seemed genuinely so happy and excited#and then cyrus gets swept away by giratina and the portal vanishes without a trace#and they actually seem so completely broken about it#they are shocked!!!!#like these guys are the villains but man why did they make that hurt!!!! lowkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#platinum messes me up man. the idea of cyrus actually finding inner peace inside the distortion world#content to live there silently and alone#and they actually made that idea a reality within this animated episode#that in a way he actually got what he ultimately wanted#it’s really sad man. it’s really sad that that’s who cyrus is#everyone is all freaking out and worrying about him and saturn is trying to contact him via earpiece#and all cyrus says is ‘do not look for me’#like abandon the mission. forget about me. this is my ideal world after all#like the idea he’s just gonna spend eternity there and he’s fine with it#but everyone else in his life genuinely cared about him#dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#pokémon#dppt
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beyond grateful for the people that are surrounding me in my life, just as i am grateful for the people i’ve parted ways with, for without them, i would not be the person i am today.
#i have left so many people throughout my life#and#if someone would ask me if i’d regret any choice i’ve made i would say no#i regret hurting people yet i wouldn’t change a thing if i could#without the suffering the sacrifices and the lessons i would not be the person i am today that i can finally say i’m proud of#whenever i read the question “would you want to be your friend if you’d meet yourself?” deep down my answer was no#i was a good friend and i always tried my best to be there for everyone#but i was so blinded and overwhelmed by my pain that i tried so hard not to project on others that it was exactly the thing i’ve done#i was extremely caring sensitive loving and selfless but my ”bad“ traits were just as extreme#my emotions were so overwhelming that they were scattered all over the place that it didn’t allow me to have any control over them#i used to be so terrified of being alone. all i’ve felt was a great loneliness that was residing within me#until i’ve gathered the strength to leave an entire friendgroup with people that meant the world for me#they weren’t good for me anymore just as i wasn’t for them#since that day i’ve grown a lot i became a better and healthier version of myself#i learned how to be alone and to find the peace in it and in myself#all i’ve had was Allah swt. and He is all i will ever need.#without the hardships in terms of friendship i wouldn’t have been able to learn how to be alone and love and enjoy it#without it i could not say that i could easily give up the people in my life#i could if i had to bc i have Allah swt.#but i’ve learned how to choose and to choose the right people#i don’t need you and never will but i choose you bc i want you in my life and i think that makes it so much more special#i can finally say that i love the person i am today and can’t wait to see myself grow even more as the cycle of growing is never ending#I still have so much to learn and I will let it come to me with open arms#an open mind and an open heart#above all the most precious gift i’ve earned is to learn how to have tawakkul.#everything that happens every trial that is afflicted upon us has meaning#and it’s beautiful.#being able to pick out the khair in everything is the biggest blessing#alhamdulillah for the things that bruised my soul alhamdulillah for the things that mended it#alhamdulillah for everything bc truly; Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.
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your room was square
i once noticed from there
in your bed, as you slept
and i held my breath
everything had its own place
and i wondered what space would i take
in the order you kept
#in this drawing i wanted to use the song ‘Square’ by Mitski#personally i feel like this song is about being in love and trying far too hard to be the perfect lover that you are incapable of being#to me it’s like trying to see where you fit in that person’s life and not knowing where you belong in it#but then you’re still longing for that feeling of belonging there with them#so you self-destructively go to great lengths to ‘earn’ your place with them#i feel that the self-destructive behavior of trying to be that perfect lover just to ‘earn’ their love#is exactly the ‘burning’ that Mitski describes#it hurts trying to fit in but not quite succeeding again and again and again...#this is something that i think i relate to#trying far too hard to belong with someone who is 'only sometimes madly in love with me'#and says that i 'wouldn't be their first choice'#-that person kept switching between wanting me as a friend and a lover and now i am neither#and yet therein lies the problem: if i cared less and gave less effort#perhaps we could’ve worked things out without me trying too hard to “earn” their love#but why would i ever try to care less?#the situation was doomed from the start and i lost a friend in the process#i made this illustration to reflect that the best i could. I think the square motif was particularly obvious—#the canvas itself is a square and the illustration itself has to fit in a square box#everything else i drew would have to fit within this box to maintain the “order”#the colors are all some type of blue with not too much contrast except for the text eyes and teardrop on the figure#i wanted to keep contrast low within this illustration— everything should be “fitting in" after all#for the figure itself i wanted it to be clear that the figure is being forced into that square#its body’s being forced into that half of the box and even then its head is forced downwards#it’s clearly not fitting comfortably but it’s sure trying its hardest to#also also also!!! i wanted to do more angular shapes with this drawing because square and whatever lol :P#i don’t think i was particularly obvious in communicating that in the drawing though#but anyways i just wanted to draw to help process something that happened to me a while back :0#i still think i love that person but just like how i don’t have a place in their life#i don’t think they have a place in mine and i think i’m starting to make peace with that :D#jaevyart
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standing together is literally just liberal zionism ofc bds was gonna call them out on normalization lol
#not to discredit the palestinians working within that movement#but “calling for peace and togetherness” without bringing forth any material demands (save for calling for a ceasefire)#is not meaningful activism
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my two ocs have to stop being so sweet and perfect for each other in my head; they’re supposed to be a tragic couple that have wronged each other in terrible ways
#last thought of the night where I feel strangely energized for some reason#it’s my OCs they won’t give me peace until I tell their stories#the reason why one half of that couple softened over the years was to accommodate their romance#but lost a lot that villain spice so I have go back to the drawing table and put the original traits back to make him a amalgamation#of those two roles which is actually a plot point for another character within the narrative funnily enough his is just in a more meta way#what I imagine was one character pulling the others arm to show them something without realizing they’re doing that#and they let go apologetically when they realize but then the other person is like I’m gonna match your energy and lift them up to take the#bridal carry style to take them where they want to go#much to the others delight#I have to digest more angsty media again#I’m rambling it’s late I have to wake up early#click clack
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Topsy turvy me. First within… then on the outside.
#life blogging#love#feel the love#me#love is all around#love is#peace#my face#selfie#selfies#topsy turvy#saturday vibes#as within so without
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The vet doesn’t believe me when I say Bandit is a good boy.
Probably because he’s drawn blood every time she’s seen him.
#he is a good boy I swear#as long as your hands aren’t near him without a peace offering#look bandit bit me and drew blood within minutes of meeting and that set the tone for our entire relationship#I carried that boy home with two bloody fingers and I’ve never regretted it#I spent months gaining his trust#and his love#he does love me#I know that#and not just because I taught him to say I love you#I know it because he screams for me when I leave the room#I know it because he begs for my attention#I know it because I can see how much he trusts me#it was hard earned#and I fucked it up a bit#so he doesn’t trust me as much as he did#but he still loves me#you earn a cockatiel’s love and you have a lifelong friend#he’s a good boy
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mob psycho(logical horror) 100
#Chatterbomb#There are some terrifying concepts in there they should be stretched more#That comic reminded me of junji itos The Long Dream#I’ll have to do a rewatch and write some stuff down#The mental prison stuff? Terrifying 10/10#Shigeo in fabricated world for six months is terrifying but I feel like being trapped in a static environment that only gets longer even#Though real world time has barely passed and you are all alone and you can’t escape and you can’t change the environment besides clawing at#The walls#day and night don’t pass with the sun and moon but your body is aging anyway#Nothing changes and you are running out of resources.#How long until you accept no one will come and save you? How much are you willing to starve while waiting for someone who left?#What if the world that trapped you won’t let you die? Starving for centuries without a sign of life#Thinking at some point you must have escaped. Or was it a dream within a dream? Can that happen? How many times have you fallen asleep?#How many dreams deep are you already in?#WHAT IF HE STARTED ROTTING#what if he was living in his own dead body!!!!! Would that be fucked up or what!!!!!#Something about reigen sparks a desire to see him experience pain disconnected with reality#The dreams in train hell are only getting longer. None of them are peaceful. He can’t tell if his hair is greying from aging or how much th#Dreams take a toll on him. How much time has really passed? Can he even rely on how his body is changing? Is it truly time who is#Responsible? Or is it him? Or the train itself?#What if all they found of him was a dryed up body with a beating heart and pulsating brain. Laying limp and clothing scattered#If I really indulge myself the scratched out days. When looked at from farther away. Still marking the potential days reads#Abandon all hope#ye who enter here#Which yeah that’s stretching into being ridiculous but it would be cool TO ME#Dante’s inferno you are so silly and special to me#I got really autistic here but <3 big fan of horror huge fan of suffering <333#ALSO!! taking inspiration from “heck” short film but the days might be counted by “sleeps” as time cannot accurately be measured in a place#That defies universal law#Ok I think I’m done now ok I’m normal probably
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#malcified#oneness#awareness#within is without#return to the source#wholeness#nature#artwork#cartooning#consciousness#food for thought#food for the soul#food for dogs#spiritual awakening#spirituality#god#peace#compassion
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I've been reminding myself lately how absurd it is to let anything in my life have power over me and stress me out/give me anxiety.
If I TRULY believe that I am the Creator of my reality, then I *am* my reality. Nothing seemingly external is "coming for me." It can't. It doesn't have power over me. It's coming *from* me, not at me.
It's all flowing from me, so I'm only going to create good things for myself.
This has been my belief for years now, but I still have to consciously remind myself oftentimes.
It's an especially important reminder when I catch myself becoming frustrated with a difficult or unpleasant experience/circumstance, because at that time, I'll be viewing that experience as something "external."
It's not external, even though it's unpleasant. It's something I created in my life.
Once I remember that Fact and accept it, then I can create a new reality for myself. First by changing how I'm feeling in that moment toward that experience, by switching from a negative mindset to a positive one.
Then by letting that new positive mindset reprogram my reality.
As within, so without.
#metaphysics#spirituality#neville goddard#non duality#nonduality#magick#oneirosophy#all is mind#self development#affirmations#inner peace#inner state#as within so without#meditation#pixel art#pixel scenery
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Hi. this might be long so feel free to delete but i would like some advice/help. so i am trans i have known i am trans for years and years. since i was a toddler. i came out first when i was a preteen and i sort of fluctuated between identifying as 'just' binary male and various nombinary genders for a while until settling on binary male a couple years ago. but lately ive been wondering whether im trans het or a nonbinary butch lesbian. i am only attracted to women and im only comfortable with masculine terms he/him pronouns all that stuff. but idk. it's complicated and i am also both intersex and autistic so i feel kinda weird about it anyway. i tried identifying myself a s a butch lesbian a few days ago but i changed my mind after about 20 minutes because im worried about people interpreting me as a woman when really my gender is very masculine with some other stuff like an alien. idont know how else to explain it sorry
I definitely get where you're coming from, and I don't think I'll have the "right" answer for you - not because of anything you are, but because you are the expert in your experiences. I'm sure you know that, but I always want to remind people of that, sometimes we get caught up in making sure that we are "right."
There are plenty of other butches, genderqueer people, trans guys - whatever, really - who are in the same boat. It can be hard to navigate and make sure who you are is understood. I think a lot of times, people will interpret you based on their own ideas, and that does suck, but it often doesn't indicate a lot about what you are doing. I definitely think if it makes you comfortable, you should claim it, though I get how complex that can be.
And like... I know so many butches and whatnot who totally get where you're coming from, and I think finding those people can make it so much easier to see yourself claiming it, if that makes sense. If you haven't, please do surround yourself with a bunch of people who have those similar experiences.
You contain multitudes. You are multifaceted, and that may include being "contradicting." Whatever you feel best in is right for you. I don't know what is best for you, but I do know you deserve to be heard and not judged. I hope you extend that curtosy to yourself.
#ask#anon#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#i hope this makes sense#i want to be understanding and know that whatever is right for you isn't a bad thing#i hope you don't for a second feel like you need to have it 'right' and to be 'a good queer person'#it isn't about if everybody magically agrees with your experiences. it's about how *you* feel#and it does suck when people place their *own* ideas about queerness onto you but that will happen without you if that makes sense#and hell i follow a person who self-describes as a het dyke butch trans guy because being trans is fucky sometimes#and it can affect your interactions with sexuality (+being intersex can absolutely affect how you view yourself in relation to society)#so i totally get how it can feel mind-fucky to be in your position and to an extent i empathize#BUT! regardless i hope you find peace and understanding within yourself <<3#you contain multitudes
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These been some hard months mane
#a nigga really just wanna be wherever the peace in love at#but it’s hard when you can’t even find that shit within yourself to begin with#where does it grow without the proper foundation?
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The funny thing about constantly telling yourself that things could be worse is that sometimes. They are :)
#youd think the moldy trailer was gonna be rock bottom#but apparently its staying in a basement covered in the dust of a thousand thousand catshits#with the same people who traumatized me over 22 years until I moved into the moldy box in the first place :)#because im STILL dumb enough to believe their promises after decades of betrayal! or more accurately i dont get the choice lol#either way if i dont get outta here fast it is game the fuck over. been too much mental and physical pain for this shit to be worth it#fucked anyway given how much debt and permanent degenerative damage has been done but at least I can live whatever shit years I get left#in relative peace#I mean fuck I used all my fucking energy yesterday doing shit for them instead of taking care of my own stuff and WHY#all I got was get asked over and over to work even fucking harder like what the fuck did I expect#years pass and nothing changes for the better with these people what the fuck#and even if I DO manage to find somwhere to stay with folks who WONT lie to me for years to abuse my labor and psyche#I'll be broken in body and mind and spirit and ill need a job within the week to not fall behind#i still havent gotten on my feet and every attempt to rely on family. no matter who.#was just an excuse for them to use me for all I had for nothing in return#cant exactly find roommates with no money no credit no will to live and 20 problems on top of that that mean I cant pay rent yet#and without any family who wont try to kill me slowly or any friends who arent so fucked themselves they cant help its lookin like#im fucked once again gang#to think i was so fucking close to escaping all of this before the pandemic happened lol. even what I had then just isnt possible anymore#if I hear one more baseless 'things get better with time :)))' I WILL vomit until I choke to death like buddy that just isnt true sometimes#straight up some people are born to eat shit and die. babies get cancer. its been 24 consecutive years of eating it and I aint whistful fam#not anymore at least#keep sayin 'well it could be worse' when its about the worst its been and youre just asking fate to prove you right#only reason Im not completely homeless instead of technically homeless is that folks actually on the streets are much tougher sort than I#gonna jinx this whole fuckin rant but it really is a fuckin joke. i cant live like this but most folk Ive met on the street#would jump the moon just to live in the moldy trailer I got kicked out of let alone a filthy basement.#this COULD be a home I could work and live out of. fellas is it picky to prefer despair over living with people who traumatize you#does that answer change depending on circumstance and time or is there truly no justification in not making your life worth it#or am I really just the pathetic stoner burnout dropout that my folks see me as? I mean categorically yes.#is there any justification redemption or even just comfort to be found in that state considering the Weight that induced it#does it even matter if no other person knows what that Weight has been or for how long its built. if no one ever will know? whats the point
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okay I did a little discoursing on twitter but like this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen I’m just laughing
#I saw discoursing very lightly I retweeted like 3 tweets joking about the whole thing#BROTHER ITS NOT THAT DEEP#ITS NOT THAT DEEP IF SOMEONE SAYS 'these are my ocs now actually' they're not stealing from the ccs#like bro#Bro#please tell me you're not actually getting upset at people being like 'I only like fic![characters] now and they're my ocs'#like. you do understand that a lot of stuff. within the universe. came from fans right#like in the first place#and the story would Not be what it is#without the fans#and many ccs have said 'the characters belong to the fans'#someone being like 'I don't like the cc that played them or the canon so now they're my oc'#isn't like. stealing from the cc what#and like. I'm sure most of these people are just like. saying it lightheartedly#and if the concern is like violating cc boundaries. these are just people who wanna write like s//b//i fics without the whole like#ongoing situation with tommy and d/r/e/a/m#I don't think they're making them their ocs to do bad shit with them#y'all it's just so stupid like calm down!! let people write fics in peace Brother
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