#peace and love i'm doing great
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Hmmm I love. Vocaloid music. I'll have to draw Miku. It's my duty as an artist
#today's (tonight's) song is vampire by deco*27#i like deco*27! yeah basic sure whatever. otome kaibou makes me feel shrimp emotions. i don't care about being basic#i've been into vocaloid on and off for longer than almost anything else in my life now that i think about it#thank fuck at least miku is younger than me i couldn't bear it if she was my age#ANYWAY. ramble ramble etc i'm sleepy i want to go back to playing totk and i have good venom fanfic to read#peace and love i'm doing great#wow i have a ramble tag now
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S1 Pulp Musicals Gang my beloved
#minus Chester because drawing his hat was genuinely aggravating and I wanted to choose peace#I love these little goobers#y’know what else I love?#pulp musicals#belive it or not#god it’s so good#I will never stop talking about how incredible pulp musicals is#just fyi#so fucking pumped for pulp 4#god it’s going to be so good#These were so much fun#might do some more later#thought i'd just get these done and posted tho bc i'm been working HARD on curtwen week stuff yall#so far ive got two done#only 6 to go#thank god finals are over bc im gonna be on that GRIND#i'm really excited for em so far tho#I genuinely really like the first two that are done so far#ngl i kinda ate#but yeah it's all very exciting#alr time for our fun fact#fun fact: the hashtag symbol is actually called an octothorpe#no longer saying im going to leave it in the tags- it's in the octothorpes now people /j#rose stratford#samuel stratford#sir john herschel#john herschel#benjamin park#margaret cavendish#the great moon hoax
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Okay I really felt like exploding mentally not in a good way so putted it out in random little written scenes (bullshitting with canon and fanon because canon is fanon). Prowl and Jazz as main acting characters yesss because apparently I love these boys
_________Intercity training competition_________
The whole audition was so loud with noises despite everyone trying to whisper as quiet as possible. First time in all intercity training competition history, where chosen young mechs from everywhere in Cybertron gather together to find better rising generation of sparks, the bot won all his sparring partners in a row without losing once. Gunrunner with satisfied smile wrote down statistics about this battle. “Mistakes took place, but you give big perspectives with your agility and unpredictability.” Gunrunner already had plans on this rookie once ops group starts running.
Jazz, visibly grasping at air with ventilation at full speed, was smiling in such bright manner, showing his sparking optics behind protective glass. His smile, his reflections from black coating, his figure, still going up and down after all the battles he had – everything in him was so irresistibly refreshing and attractive. This young bot made the audience start whispering again, but on absolutely different topic this time. He still was standing over his opponent, other one was looking at him from bottom to top breathing as deep as other one, leaning on the elbow folds. Young mechs had no hard feelings against each other, everything around them was steaming with happiness over a good battle. Jazz offered his hand and helped him stand up.
“Ya’r very brave to challenge me last but ya fought good, brotha’. Your name?” They shacked hands as a sigh of a friendly and fair battle. “Guzzle. Better to fight and lose than to never fight at all” “Oh, we’r so gonna have a drink at the end of the event!” Jazz squeezed his hand so tightly and laughed so sincerely happy. They walked out of ring shoulder to shoulder. The white and black mech with pointy red chevron, the only thing showing him off the crowd so vividly, was observing all the battles from the balcony. He still couldn’t calm down his spark after what he saw, it was such an incredible and new way of martial arts for him: wild, unpredictable, dexterous, fast and oppressive. Absolute opposite of the clear and refined, gentle manner of his hometown. He couldn't hold back his smile throughout all 10 sparring sessions, periodically jerking his shoulders in surprise, sometimes looking as if into space, trying to calculate something in his head. His brother, clearly shorter than him, tapped at his hand. Only this was able to get older brother out of entrancement he was in. “Brother, calculation simulations will begin soon” ‘Right,’ he answered with only kind look of his eyes. ‘Now my turn.’
______My priority of orders starts from J_______
“Prowl, you are not allowed to go out! You stay here! It’s an order!” Prowl’s door wings rose up in in a threatening and irritated manner. He quickly turned his head, narrowing his optics. Sharp, cold blue, freezing. Yet his lips were treacherously clanging. “You are not my commander to give me commands” “Oh, no! I have an order to keep you safe! Order from Optimus Prime itself! Do you not understand how worthy your skills are? You are not allowed to get out of here until it becomes safe, why do you even try to get out of here?” The blue light was getting darker and closer to the security bot who happened to be so unlucky to be the closest to Prowl to get this order. Red chevron towered over this hesitant mech, his knees bent under the pressure of this unbending figure. It was the first time in all his time working here, when he was truly afraid of the tactician. “I was working hand to hand with “Optimus itself” when he was just an officer,” Prowl pressed his finger into the center of the bumper with enough strength to make bot step back. “and I dare you have no right to stand on my way nor Optimus’ orders. Contact him and say that I’ve lost touch with ops, you won’t be dismissed with this explan-“ The loud crash of a broken door was heard behind interrupting him mid-sentence, Prowl stood up and lowered his wings to cover trembling mech in front of him. “Prowl, jump on, I caught signal of Jazz’s location”, there was Silverbolt straight to the help and old Orion’s group protecting main operating station alongside with other autobots. Prowl gave him a pleased smirk, his optics immediately softened (to the relief of security bot), not even thinking much he ran and jumped on top of the aerial, “long time no see, old timer. All unnecessary chatting on our way.”
#*sits down*#Maybe I try out my hand this way to see if I'm really up to writing#At least I really needed more juicies paragraphs and dialogues than in the latest ones. No idea if I'm satisfied but in my brain it lays#better#...Also learning about characters while writing something when searching for info seems more effective....#ANYWAY pfffht I feel so much better after writing these two sillies out#how do I even..?...#writing#?...#cockroachwriting#?.. yeah this is closer since I'm not sure I will use ao3 for writing gah#transformers#maccadam#jazz#prowl#and a few others side characters like Guzzle Bluestreack Gunrunner Silverbolt pfffft#.... *shy coughing*#Jazzprowl#I just love to make more stable way of characters getting each other and jazz and Prowl have such a great opportunity to start their way#from very early days#much earlier than what I saw#Plus earlier years before revolution on Cybertron might have been peaceful enough to make events where they gather sometimes#I'm a sucker for it
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DELACROIX SPOTTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#That's my favourite painting ever I'm so giddy right now :D :D :D#Delacroix aside... Nice chapter! I love political discussion! I'll have to think over it for a while!#I'm SO happy someone finally said that Fukuchi's thesis is antihistorical!! That's what I've been saying since forever!!!!!!#Thank you Dostoyevsky for voicing my thoughts ilu#Peace obtained through total war... I'll have to think about it for a bit... It doesn't make any sense... I need to reread the chapter 🤔#Anyways I love when they get into political theory <333#On the ss/kk front. Not much but we got a couple of nice matching panels so I won't complain :')#It's especially funny because I'm sure they're not understanding a thing about what Dostoyevsky and Fukuzawa are talking about.#I saw that panel of theirs and had the thought#“that's the ss/kk from my room posters looking down at me as I ramble about politics for 364982 time” ajhsbashjdbsadb#Other than that the cover is sooooooo pretty!!!!! Aaaaahhh!!!!!! I love it so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God for Harukawa!!!!#May they be happy forever!!!!!! I love the even more Medieval vibes... Especially the quasi gothic details.#And Akutagawa in it looks A LOT like the early chapters art style and hhhhhhhhhh it has me so !!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's so#Adesljhfbsledfbgsleifugdb he just looks great okay 😂😂#BEYOND THOSE BLACK EYES............................. ← The most important part of the chapter if you ask me.#OH I JUST REALIZED. Canon black eyes Akutagawa 😂😂#The super cool skull-looking headgear too!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whaa I love the illustration so much. Wish I could do something with it 🤔#Oh and Fukuzawa died I guess 😔 Called it. Just the two of us Everyone else is gone etc. etc.#I'm lowkey glad like... Tbh he was already dead inside. Let him rest at last‚ he was in so much pain 😔#That's all! Excited for what comes next!!!! (That is to say excited for the ss/kk moments that will definitely FINALLY come after this :D )#random rambles#bsd spoilers
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After pondering on it for several days, I have officially decided I did not like the direction of KFP4 and have banished it from my brain. It is no longer canon. KFP4? What's that? Don't know what you're talking about.
#spoilers ahead#it wasn't all bad#I really truly loved the scenes with Li and Mr Ping they were wonderfully hilarious#and the music was great#BUT#I just did not like the direction they took Po's story at all.#and I'm kinda furious they subtly undermined Shifu's character#by making him “fine”/“not fine” with Oogway picking Po as his successor instead of him.#it was only a thing for 2 seconds for the sake of humor but it completely undermines his inner peace character development#first off why can there only be one successor#and second off why can't Po take primarily the fighting side and Shifu take the spiritual side#It FITS HIM#don't know if most people would notice that shifu's character was undermined but because he's one of my favorites I sure did and it HURT#also um the furious five WHY didn't we have them be the main characters with Po instead of the fox chick no one cares about#literally their interactions with Po that's WHY WE'RE HERE DREAMWORKS#also it's become really obvious to me that the fox girl was literally written just so they could cast a specific voice actress in a big rol#nothing against that actress I love her in other stuff but that was a bad move Dreamworks#and another thing#the movie's message about change not always being bad is perfectly fine and good in theory#but such character change is only satisfying from a storytelling perspective if the audience actually WANTS the character to change!!!#I don't WANT Po to stop being the dragon warrior! I don't WANT him to pick a successor! That wasn't satisfying!! like whyyyyyyyyy#Plus he's like way too young?? to be worrying about this??? Oogway didn't worry about it until he was literally 900 years old#Shifu is what in his 60s? 80s? and he hasn't picked one#why would they make shifu worry about po doing that any time soon literally at all#so there dreamworks#I banish this movie#I banish it for one thousand years#kfp4#kung fu panda 4#po kung fu panda
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Two Redraws, Two Children of Destruction
#gore#blood#the binding of isaac#binding of isaac#tboi#azazel tboi#tboi azazel#tboi isaac#isaac tboi#my art#fanart#You *never* guess which one I got carried away with#on a more serious note I really love how these guys turned out!!#I'm getting back to the swing of just have pure fun with my fanart and these redraws were the perfect vessel for me#Also I JUST brought Isaac for myself like last week#I've known no peace sense then its great hehe#That also means I don't have the DLCs yet so if you have to bully me do it lightly
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Heyy shh shshshshsh don't cry, buy a bulk pack of pierogies (any flavour you like), bake until golden brown, top with sour cream, great value chipotle & ancho hotsauce, honey, and salt and pepper to taste.
Use a spare piece of bread to soak up any sauce left behind.
Ok?
#important#struggle recipes#spoonie food#recipe#struggle food#low spoons#it will all be ok. love and peace on planet earth.#pierogi#it was so fucking good#it was an experiment and it paid off SO WELL#needed to add more honey though or mix it better. should've done the sauce and stuff before I put the pierogies in my bowl.#but holy fuck I am definitely doing that again#oh my god it was so good#SO SIMPLE TOO#I love pierogies so much#pierogies my absolute beloved.#I need to buy more. I hope my roommates will buy more#they're almost always used as a family meal here which is super nice.#the great value ones are dirt cheap thank gods#I hate walmart but I am also reliant on them right now.#but mmmmmmmm pierogiesssss#I will need to invest in more easy filling food now that I'm in school again
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After saving the land before them Zelda and link were tied and they need to sleep. So they went on there Horse to the Village to Link’s house. As Zelda was so happy she was also glad to know that all that had happened was all in the past.
Zelda was so happy to not be in the Castle trying to stay awake. Everything was fine now she was with Link. When they got about 4 hours away Zelda saw that there were some people out in the distance. She had not seen people in forever she said to link to set up camp for the night and she would go talk to the people and she would come back with some food so they could cook.
Link looked at the people in concern I will be fine just go set up camp he nodded his head. Zelda loved to see the blue sky and the birds and the sway of the grass she never wanted to it to end. When she started talking to the people they were a little of but she just thought that they were excited to see her they just offered bananas to her. All at once she remembered that Link told her about a Yiga clans they would look like a normal person but they were not.
she screamed “Link” he came running at full speed and right on time the Yiga clan members were not the week kind but the much harder to kill ones. One did have a bow though Link killed the one with a sword first but the one with a bow was so fast Link told Zelda to run back to camp she didn’t want to leave him alone but she went behind a big rocks and hid.
Zelda Hurd nothing but a sweet sound of a little bird chirping in the distance. Then she heard a scream it sounded like a link she ran all the way to him the Yiga was not dead but it retreated because it has fulfill its duties. It had shot Link right in the chest with his bow 4 times he was wheezing and gasping for air. Link grabbed two of the arrows and pulled them out. Zelda squinted with fear she knew that it needed to be tended to right away. But all she had was bananas and a small cloth she was watching him grab the other two arrows and he was pulling them out. He Was in a great amount of pain. She tried to talk to him for the very first time she said “ we need to get you to a stable first but we then will rush to Hatnao village”. Link tried to speak but the pain took over.
“shh you need to save your strength right now” Zelda said. She could tell that he Was in A lot of pain. Blood started to turn his clothes red and Zelda new that she will need to hurry or he wouldn’t make it! she said to him can you get on the horse he said. I-can try-to get on…. She was getting so worried that he wouldn’t be able to make it. She helped him get on the horse and they started to ride.
after about an hour or so it started to get worse they were about 20 minutes away from the staple. And he fell off his horse Zelda jumped off and rushed to the side. He was Groaning with pain as much more blood came out. At this time he was as white as the cloud He was barely breathing and struggling when he was. They finally got to a stable she found some cloth and wiped off the wound with some water. He was wincing with pain she didn’t want it to be painful but she wanted to be clean.
she turned one of the horses in so they could ride together in and he can rest. Zelda did not notice how much blood he had Lost buddy was struggling because of the blood loss they were almost to the village about only 30 minutes away when it started to get worse blood was rushing out now and Zelda was worried. The time before his eyes were open but his eyes started the clothes slowly.
Zelda knew it had to be because of blood loss or was that the reason she turned around and stop the horse she put her hand to Link’s for head he had a very high fever. She knew that the fever was going to cause some pain and some discomfort but she knew she had to get to the village that was all of her concern. when she made it to the village people came running out of their houses link was not awake anymore so They took him to his house and laid him down on the bed. Zelda fell asleep on the bedside Well they tend to his wounds.
She was still very worried for him but than her friend pura came in she said check it her normal thing she looked at link and said what happened Zelda explain to the story as pura made some food on the stove for when he woke up and fore them of course. They talked for hours then Link woke up wai-r am I… don’t worry you’re in your house he fell back asleep after about 20 minutes he was obviously exhausted from blood loss and a fever. After he was all better and able to walk again I Zelda and him continue their adventures as one! The end. Thank you so much for your kindness and your help for your love and kindness always gives me energy.❤️❤️❤️ I just want to ask if you can draw like a little seen out of this you are such an inspiration to me 😊
Hello! Thank you for all your kind words!! I'm really happy if I can give you energy; thank you for all your kindness and positivity as well! I always see you tagging people just to say nice things to them; it's really sweet and always makes me smile! 😊😊💖
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I really enjoyed reading it!! I don't take requests, but I did imagine this based on your story! (I'm sorry if it's not exactly what you had in mind!)
#legend of zelda#botw#zelink#zelda#link#aquanutart#replies#long post#blood#I hope there's always someone looking after you as well as zelda is taking care of link! 💖#I read your recent post and I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through 😭#I'm wishing for you to be well and that you keep doing everything you love! you deserve to always have people who care by your side!#I feel so glad that Zelda doesn't have to worry now that she's with Link and they can share the house in Hateno Village!#At least it seemed so peaceful but then--?!! It's sweet that Link tells her to get to safety while he rushes to protect them both! 😭#I was really worried about Link when the Yiga shot him so many times!!!#and Zelda only had bananas and a small cloth! That's not enough to treat such severe wounds oh no!!!#he pulled all those arrows out himself?!!! no wonder he was in such a great amount of pain! OUCH that sounds horrible!!! 😭😭😭#treating a wound hurts but Zelda's right it's more important for it to be clean!#the wound sounds so painful I'm so worried about him.. poor zelda wondering if he's going to make it! 😭#and now he has a fever too oh no?!! I can feel what a rush theyre in when they arrive at the village; Zelda thinking only of getting there!#HE'S OKAY!!! I'm so relieved he was able to recover from that incredible amount of blood loss!! 😭😭😭#I hope Zelda will stay by his side and hold his hand while he recovers! I love that they continue their adventures together!!#I'm so glad there was a happy ending! Thank you for sharing your story! I've never gotten an ask like this before!
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Hey this just in? Ptsd sucks balls
#Oversharing on the internet times#Ptsd#-10/10 don't recommend#Ugh#Need my brain scrubbed and shaken out#I would like a new one please and thank you#I promise I won't let this new one be tortured I'll be extra careful#Love how my subconscious has decided that I'm just the worst person on earth all my dreams lately are like#Hey what if you were monstrous? What I'd you personally committed horrific acts against other human beings?#Let's explore that reality in hd#These aren't even the fun nightmares where I can convince myself I'm not seconds from throwing up they were so bad and can decode them#And do dream work with them#Those nightmares always end up having really cool symbolism and are helpful in deeply deeply meaningful ways#I am willing to suffer those nightmares I have made my peace with them it's like a game almost#These ones just shake me up for fucking days and become a never ending spiraling cycle ugh ugh ugh#It's like my intrusive thoughts were made I to a TV show fuck#Me: slightly rude to my gf#My brain: what if you were the same level as evil as rapist#Me: great I'm going to throw up and claw my skin off and have a panic attack thank you brain that was super fucking helpful#The way that my brain is convinced that I'm evil actually is sure is....#Well. It. It seems like my brain learned to abuse myself that it's doing the work of my torturer for her ten years down the line#Mm. Hate that thought a lot actually going#....I was actually going to keep these tags fairly short I wanted this post to be a vague haha ptsd sure is something post and not#Spill my guts in the tags again but what else is new have done this for years so whatever
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-Remembers how T’Pring looked as she watched Spock & Chapel vanish into the bathroom together after seeing them kiss on the bridge (which she knew was for a mission and didn’t hold against them but perhaps she could sense something there since they do have feelings for one another), maybe attempting to calm herself and her suspicions as she’s left alone again (and later finds she’s been left out entirely this whole time) and how she doesn’t know that Spock almost told Chapel he loved her then and there, with T’Pring in the other room waiting, and how Amanda and Sevet both think she could have more confidence in herself and how T’Pring thought that she and Spock were in this together (her holding his hand, subtly letting him know to pour slower so the tea flowers would bloom correctly, a whispered ‘well done’, the ritual is over mother) and how mere hours after she expresses to Spock how she feels: Like he doesn’t trust her, like he doesn’t care to include her in his life, how she’s trying her best to show him that she will accept him wholly, how she wants to be his partner instead of an adversary or an obstacle, after all this he’s found Chapel within the hour and is kissing her.-
#I've seen people say 'it's not technically cheating because-' and once you've hit 'technically' in MY opinion it's pretty much cheating#'taking a break' isn't synonymous with being able to kiss/have sex with other people - that's something that needs to be discussed#in my opinion...BUT ALSO. Even STILL. Not even a goddamn DAY went by.#T'PRING!!!!!! SAVE MY GIRL T'PRING!!!#Can you imagine hearing your fiancee who you ostensibly like tell you (very vulnerably - especially for a Vulcan: I didn't mind this bc I#personally assume that Vulcan partners WOULD discuss and talk through feelings though probably with a different goal than humans)#that she feels hurt that you seem to not want to include her in your life and that she feels you should take a break#and then IMMEDIATELY going to find the girl you have a crush on to tell her that you and your fiancee are taking a break and that you feel#bad about it and then IMMEDIATELY after that you're KISSING her??????#didn't feel TOO bad about it then huh!#Anyway I'm not earnestly like incensed I'm tv angry on T'Pring's behalf - love the drama bc I'm experiencing SNW from a very particular POV#I will only be angry if they make T'Pring into the bad guy somehow (like if the NARRATIVE says this is correct)#also off topic but I personally think star trek has had enough 'Vulcan culture is bad and restrictive' episodes/talking points - Enough.#Find some joy and peace through connection to an alien culture PLEASE.#I get it humans are great humans are so much freer and happier than Vulcans humans rule - Enough.#-turns to camera with a smile- anywaaaay I watched the episode once and I couldn't rewatch it for this post so <3#if any of this is wrong just chalk it up to bad memory <3#snw spoilers#idk how long an ep has to be out for that to apply#also just so everyone knows - I /do/ think it's stupid that Spock forgets how to act Vulcan when he turns fully human#but I also just expected it since star trek writers LOVE bioessentialism#I have NO doubt that if Spock turned Klingon he'd suddenly start talking about honor and being rowdy despite those things being#learned and cultural v_v#I SAY ALL THIS...and I DID like the episode! I'm complicated <3#<- just likes episodes with fun hijinks as their thesis and also T'Pring is there
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ok i finally finished watching the fnaf musical dark remains deep dive/stream archive and oh my god. absurdly long script with more on the way. crazy stunts. vanny and glitchtrap have much bigger roles. alexandria is back for a flashback sequence. one of the new actors is nonbinary. new cg5 footage?? mike is back?!? MIKE IS FUCKING BACK YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYPE I AM HE'S LITERALLY MY FAVORITE CHARACTER
dark remains will literally be peak >:D
#rys.txt#fnaf the musical#fnaf dark remains#fnaftm#random encounters#cg5#i get the feeling mike's return is also going to be a flashback like with alexandria and i'm so unbelievably hype#i love mike so much y'all have no idea. he was such a sweet guy and he just wanted to succeed and he got done so fucking dirty#he just wanted a successful restaurant! and what did he get? overworked and constantly terrified and a horrible gruesome death#all because of his fucking uncle who only treated him as death fodder instead of anything close to family. or even just a person#fnaftm mike is so tragic i love him#i'm saying that like no other fnaf media has a tragic michael. they all do and they're all great but i latched onto this one the most lol#and also benbyy being in the cast and hosting that stream makes me so happy as a nonbinary person as well#there's a cool enby working on the fnaf musical!! and everyone is using their pronouns correctly!! it genuinely made me so happy#peace and love on planet me :D#i'll say it again. dark remains is going to be so peak
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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i know it's so silly and pointless but i'm so pissed off about having anxiety. sure i have lived with it as long as i remember and yes i will continue to do things despite being scared of them as i have done for a very long time but wouldn't it be nice to not be so scared you're physically unwell. i am standing in the corner yelling at it I AM STRONGER THAN YOU but unfortunately part of me is not and that part is sick as a dog. luckily the rest of me is so powerful but god.
#starting new medication on monday and feeling normal about it. screw all of this tbh. THROWS IT ALL INTO THE SUN.#guys will be shaking writing a tumblr post and be like this is good this is great i'm doing good and also doing normal.#we also did this last night and also were doing normal then and slept well and felt fine all day. wait.#ANYWAY we stay silly :3 the problems do not make it easy but we do it anyway peace and love#perhaps once i've started it i'll be regular levels of *gestures broadly at the plethora of situations taking place in this body*
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heart of glass is a ford song but specifically the cover by mini mansions
#couldn't find it on spotify :[#'once had a love and it was a gas/divine' < hyperfixation being a form of love#bill is included in the hyperfixation and he is considered divine at first for his god-like status#obviously. all mentions of love are platonic#'soon found out i had a heart of glass/i was losing my mind' < do i need to explain#'seemed like the real thing only to find' < ford blaming himself for being manipulated by bill#'mucho mistrust love's gone behind' < mistrust needs no explanation#< 'love's gone behind' what he thought was a friend going behind his back#'in between what i find is pleasing and i'm feeling fine' < intitial start of the 'friendship'#what ford finds is a being that promises the answers he seeks. he's feeling good about this#'love is so confusing there's no peace of mind' < again platonic love#there's a part of ford that knows the way he's being treated by bill isn't right. but he doesn't know what the right kind of treatment is#'if i fear i'm losing you it's just no good you teas(ing) me like you do now'#< bill keeping ford in line with what he wants by threatening to leave if he doesn't#< 'like you do now' ford in the future absolutely hating bill with every fiber of his being + bill acting all buddy buddy with him still#'lost inside adorable illusion and i cannot hide' < do i need to explain this one (genuine question)#'i'm the one you're using please don't push me aside' < this line is just tragic :[#'we could've made it cruising yeah'#< 'we could have actually done what you promised. we could have acomplished great things together'#a lot of the lyrics they sing are shortened versions of the original lyrics so i just included the whole lines#anyway. uh. it's not on spotify :[
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hi bully - touched
#alcohol tw#touched#kflops#coedkpopedit#nugudom#kbandsnet#* my gifs#nkd.gif#touched.gif#touched.grp#these gifs are. not great. the colouring is not great. but you gotta understand i was in the seventh circle of hell with em#as far as gif making goes the source vid was. not great! but what can ya do. needed to gif this nonetheless#i'm expecting this to flop so hard but it's okay <3 peace and love i just like this song
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oops, i, did it again - i overcheesed the spaghetteh,
#just me hi#WWhhhyyyyY#my catastrophic cheese issues continue hfhshd#went 'oh noooooo' and looked up at my mom and she already Knew lmaoo#that's how often these things happen !#i'm also not allowed to make macaroni anymore btw ://#/oh also i discovered some time ago that the seasoned pecans they sell at costco are AWESOME with sharp cheddar cheese#it's GREAT i highly recommend !! :D#my siblings keep going 'ewh that's gross' and then trying it and being enlightened to the way of the cheese-nut lolll :3#it's also apparently a grave crime to take off like a fourth of the cheese block and just nibble on that for some hours#joke's on those jokers i forget i actually have to eat anything for at least four more hours after doing that Hfbshd#//but anyway in other news !!#what is up with colours? i have no idea. neither does anybody else! peace and love on the celestial meatball we all adore#/octopus are neat i like octopus :>#so are crabs but i think they're a bit scarier for some reason so !#octopus are just kinda more gross but i can appreciate their squiggyness#octopusses... octopie.... is this the 'plural platypus' thing again hfbsh#/i have Gottt to finish these refs before june or i'm going to do what i did last year which was NOT fun loll#i rushed like 5 refs in two weeks ! did i enjoy it? naauh hbhfs :')#/also thinking of opening comms next year ? maybeeeee#it's definitely under consideration though ~!~#/also made a new yt cuz i changed my email lol :>#RIP the old one. you'll be remembered o7 and iiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always remember yyyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#//think that's all though ~!~#<- doin that cuz i can't have my wiggly exclamation point lol :)#but it's summer again which means i'm going to ddddiiiiiieeeeeeeee#that one guy who wanted to set fire to the sun had a real idea goin there..#//anyway toodles :33 perhaps i shall return. oo bYe ~+
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