#pe still has 65

[theoryify]

matpatify has split

into two extensions, matpatify classic, and matpatify publisher's edition (PE)

matpatify classic is only thumbnails, similar to team theorist

matpatify PE is for the funnier meme-like thumbnails

if you already have matpatify extension, it will now be matpatify publisher's edition

both versions can be found on Spaceturd64's website

[ebony-blood]

Poly!The Lost Boys x Reader 

Warnings/AN: They’re a packaged deal, ofc you’re getting all four. Yandere/obsessive stuff because they’re just like that. I tried to be as gender-neutral as possible, lemme know if I need to fix anything.

You have been in Santa Carla for about a year now, you wanna know how long it took for the boys to fall for you? 2 months

Paul fell first, bro spent a whole 2 hours daily rambling to Marko about how much he loved you, how perfect you were in his eyes, how cute you were…

Gender doesn’t matter to these rat bastards, you’re still Paul’s Cutie

Marko fell next, listening to Paul rant about your utter perfection, thus, he started believing you were an angel, literally an angel.

And that’s when the two boys started stalking you, following you around the boardwalk and practically growling at anyone that approached, male, female, whatever

Paul practically has heart eyes every time he sees you, every single time.

Dwayne is next, and he falls WAY harder than the other two

Mr. Tall, dark and handsome over here will follow you home daily, he waits for nightfall and comes out to see you, when he’s not with his brothers, he’s around you.

He may as well be lying on a bed, writing in a notebook about how much he loves you, giggling and kicking his feet like a schoolgirl

So, the three that AREN’T David fall in love with you in two months, David followed shortly behind, and only a month after Dwayne fell, David was fucking INFATUATED.

He has it BAD, like, god, it’s even worse than his brothers.

Eventually, all four of the boys decide they wanna talk to you, and goddammit the minute you open your mouth they’re even more in love with you. 

And so, they start leaving you anonymous gifts, roses, jewelry, Marko paints for you, anything they can think of, they’ll steal it and leave it on your porch. 

It took a few months, but when you realized they were giving you the gifts, you started hanging out with them more, and soon, you were taken to the cave.

They loved you, obviously.

It took almost no time for you to fall for their silly personalities, and that was when they knew they had you.

They became protective, but not outwardly obsessive.

At least, you thought so. 

After they started dating you, they started getting worse in their stalking.

They had a system, every other week, sometimes months between instances, one of them would silently stalk you, keeping hidden in the dark, and one or two of them would pretend to bump into you when you start freaking out.

You were always too freaked out to ask how they were there.

You found out they were vampires when you caught them killing and feeding on a guy who had been actually stalking you. You were freaked out at first.

Eventually, David managed to calm you, promising they would never hurt or kill you.

Now that we’re past all the meetings, falling, stalking, and so on, here’s the actual cute stuff. 

Paul and Marko

These rat fucks are literally never not by your side. 

They bite you, randomly grab you, kiss you, just whenever they want, it doesn’t matter. 

Both boys steal things from you, all the time

Clothes, blankets, stuffed animals, books, your perfume/cologne/body spray, makeup if you wear it, whatever they can get their hands on, it’s with them.

You slowly start noticing them wearing your clothes, your perfume/cologne/body spray, and you ask about it. They always deny having it.

If you wear it, they put on your lipstick or lipgloss before they kiss you, because they think it's funny. 

Paul started trying to get you to smoke with him. 

Marko paints you like constantly, and anytime he catches you watching or looking at him, he has the most lovestruck and goofy look on his face.

Both fantasize about you 24/7 and just bounce stuff off of each other. 

They definitely bite you the most

65% of the bitemarks on you are from them, and 35% are from the other two boys.

Cuddle you the most.

Tease you the most

Teasing nips are greetings to them

Both have very little consistency in pet names for you, they just pick whatever.

Dwayne

The sweetest, and the biggest stalker ever.

Bro follows you around constantly. 

He doesn’t allow you to ride on the back of Paul and Marko's bikes, it's either him or David.

Holds your hands all the time

Gives you his jacket all the time.

You get cold? Take his jacket. Getting outta the ocean after Paul tossed you in? Take his jacket.

Smiles every time he sees you. 

Also takes your perfume/cologne/body spray, sprays himself down, and snuggles into clothes you wear he stole when he wanted to snuggle with you.

Acts totally normal around you but is a giggly schoolgirl when talking about you with the boys.

Brings you food and drinks daily, if he doesn’t know if you’ve eaten, you bet your ass he’s bringing you food.

About 15% of your bites are from him. 

Constantly makes sure you care for yourself.

Not into PDA but will hold your hands daily.

Bro has a mix of songs that reminds him of you.

Calls you stuff like Darling and Honey, he just gives those vibes.

David

OHHHH DEAR GOD-

David is worse than Dwayne, Marko, and Paul combined.

Stalks you, constantly, and he always makes sure you know he’s there.

Sassy, sarcastic, an asshole, we know this, but this carries over to you too.

Bro sasses you all the time.

Dude treats you like he treated Star, bro will just stare at you, if you don’t respond or do as he’s implying, he just calls your name again, and again, until he eventually just snaps in your face, not shouting, but literally snapping.

Nips at your ears, neck, and shoulders

Teases you, all the time, constantly for no reason. Like if you trip bro is laughing and he doesn’t even help your ass up. 

He does care though, he loves you so SO much.

The dude actually takes his damn gloves off to touch you sometimes! That NEVER happens!

Isn’t into PDA, at all, his hands stay securely in your back pockets or with his fingers through your belt loops, you are not leaving his side, if he isn’t around you bet your ass you’re sticking with Dwayne.

Will randomly give you things, Bro gave you one of his old tee shirts and he gets very pouty if you don’t wear it around.

He is not a sweet boy, but also a sweet guy, if you wear down his walls and wiggle your way into his heart, you will NEVER leave.

He’s terrified of being alone, if you leave for even a second, the man almost melts down. 

Calls you stuff like Babe, Baby, and Doll, doll is used no matter your gender, he won’t stop.

One more because our first one for Davie here also brings you food but fucks with you like he did with Micheal. He does keep extras if you actually freak out about it but after a certain point in your time with the boys, you start leaning into the goofiness. 

All four of them

Only a few here.

The boys are cuddlers, if they stay with you in your house, (You have blackout curtains) they are wrapped around you, Paul and Marko are damn well laying on top of you.

Will scream at any bastard on the boardwalk that even LOOKS at you wrong.

They fight anyone at all, for any reason, for everything, at all for you.

These nerds rant about everything they love, David will scream about how much he loves Billy Idol at any time, Marko talks about art all the damn time, Paul will just rant about how fucking much he loves guitarists like Mick Mars, Ace Frehley, and Eddie Van Halen, and Dwayne talks about books. All four always have stars in their eyes when talking, it's so cute. 

The rats started rubbing off on you, you’re crazy now, you ride bikes, and you yell, and scream with all of the boys.

When they do turn you, it amplifies by 20.

Your favorite activity is hanging off the bridge with the boys and biking. 

You eventually get your own, they were hesitant, but eh.

They love biking with you, and then you all either hang from the wood beams while sleeping or snuggle up in your bed and sleep peacefully. You wearing one of their jackets of course.

[emilythedog661-tf2]

My TF2 Morden AU

Here is another instalment of my TF2 Alternate Universes, todays AU is about if the mercenaries lived in the 21st century in todays society, info is under the cut snd i hope you like it 😋

First we have the Mercenaries who aren't Mercenaries -

Scout - Scout who is named Jeremy Fast was born in 1996 making his 28 and he is a high school PE teacher for the boys, he is a good PE teacher but he been in trouble with the school a few times after parents complain that he's been flirting with the high school girl all between 13 - 16, he grew up with his single mom and his 8 half brothers and he is the youngest of the brothers, he's not sure who his dad was when he was younger but then he found out when he was 18 from his mom that his dad was a guy from france who met Jeremy's mom at the bar she works at while on a buisness trip, they then hit it off, had a one night stand then scout's mom had Jeremy, Jeremy's dad then disappeared after Jeremy was born but he still kept in contact with Jeremy's mom for child support, the only issue Jeremy has is that he can't seem to get a girlfriend, he went though dating apps, went out public areas like bars and concerts and even ask woman if they were single but nothing worked making him feel depressed that he can't get anyone to love him, another issue is that he has ADHD so he struggles to socialise full time and gets easily distracted, lastly, he's uses TikTok a lot to make random videos and he is a little popular on the platform but still can't get a girl to like him.

Soldier - Soldier who is named John Dow was born in 1979 making him 45 years old, he is a ex-military man who got let go from the military after being mentally unstable to be in the military, he found out from the military after being in it for 15 years that he has undiagnosed asperger's which was the reason the military had to let him go, John didn't want to be let go as he was used to being in the military for so long and he had nobody to go to as he was a orphan since he was 2 but he now on his own for a while with a single apartment that he bought with his veteran pension, he was also accepted to have a service dog for his asperger's and he ends up having a yorkshire terrier named Squibbs (This is based on my late yorkie with the same name and i just think it's funny seeing Soldier having a small dog like a yorkie as a service dog), the apartment he lives in also introduced him to his opposite neighbour named Dell and John is now having a sexual crisis as he has romantic feeling for Dell.

Pyro - Pyro who forgot his name was a firefighter but then he got into a accident where his body got completely burnt, he also gained severe memory loss after banging his head on a falling wooden board trying to get out the fire and now he stays in a care home as he started to act childish and unstable, he is not dangerous or unpredictable, he is just a lost and severely burnt human with mental issues that the doctor and nurses are trying their best to help him, he loves to draw, make balloon animals, is easily entertained and he has a big imagination but he can't seem to get his old memories back as he can't remember anything or anyone from his past life.

Demoman - Demoman who is named Travish Degroot was born in 1989 making him 35 years old, he is a workaholic who works many different jobs in his birth country of scotland and he is very well known in his hometown form all the jobs he has, his mother use to be a workaholic like Travish until she retired at 65, Travish's family now has loads of money that demoman got from all the jobs he done and he with his mother now have a nice house together, the jobs the Travish have is a cashier, a waiter, a carer for animals at shelters and rescues, a computer tech, a cameraman for some tv shows, a boom mic operator and other things, Travish is happy with his life and he doesn't seem to want to stop doing jobs.

Heavy - Heavy who is named Mikhail or Misha for short was born in 1968 making him 56 years old and is popular wrestler in russia, he has multiple awards and is a celebrity in russia, the reason he became a wrestler was to help his single mother and 3 sisters as they grew up poor and their dad died a few months after the youngest sister was born, Misha's baby sisters are now 34, 32 and 30 and they are happily living their lives thanks to Misha supporting them when they left home, the 3 sisters are now living happily with their husband with their kids and Misha loves his nieces and nephews like they were his kids, Misha is now living happily still being a celebrity and he also has a girlfriend named sylvia, the pair have been dating for 5 years now and they act like a married couple even if they aren't married yet.

Engineer - Engie who is named Dell Conagher was born in 1980 making him 44 years old and he was born in beehive, texas, he was raised by both his dad and grandad with no mother as she left after giving birth to Dell and his grandmother died of cancer a year before Dell was born so he had no mother figure, both Dell's dad and grandad did a good job raising Dell and he helped around his dad and grandad's family buisness which was a mechanical buisness, the buisness helped fix cars, machines and recently as of 2010, technology too, Dell learn everything about mechanics getting a few PhDs for it and when he turned 18, he moved out of texas saying bye to his dad as he grandad sadly died when he was 13 and he started a mechanical buisness in america, he was doing well with his buisness and he had help fixed loads of things over the years but he decided to keep living in a apartment when he has enough to buy a house, he then met his new neighbour, John and the pair hit it off really well with even Dell adoring John's Service Yorkie, after a while though, Dell realised that he was starting to get feeling for John and he was having sexual crisis as he didn't even know he was gay until he met John, sure he didn't have a girlfriend but he just thought he was too busy to think about having one but now he was have gay thought about John and he didn't know what to do with them.

Medic - Medic who is named Wilhelm Ludwig or Will for short was born in 1984 making him 40 years old and he was born in stuttgart, germany, Wilhelm was raised by doctor parents so Will wanted to be one too but he ended up becoming a pathologist instead, Will was very good at his job with examining the dead body and finding out the cause of death to the body during investigation for detectives and the police, he was so good at his pathologist job that he was called a pathologist sherlock as he would always get it right, he was soon hired by investigators in different countries to help them with examining dead bodies and he ended up helping to solve many cases, one of these trips he went to was australia and during a day off before going back to germany, he ends up meeting a animal photographer named Mike, the pair hit off talking about animals mainly birds and they decided to keep in contact with each other, the pair soon met up often with Will visiting Mike in australia and soon, the pair started to get romantic feelings for each other, Mike would also sometime go to germany to visit Will and the pair went to places where Will knew Mike would like.

Sniper - Sniper who is named Mike Mundy was born in 1994 making him 30 years old and he born to his bio parents in new zealand but then dumped Mike off at a orphanage when he was 6 months old, he was then soon adopted by his adopted parents when he was 12 months old and his new parents were elderly parents both being in their early 40s, Mike adored his adopted mother becoming a mama's bot but he has a love-hate relationship with his dad as his dad was grumpy, always wanted to argue and never showed affection but still loved Mike as a son in his own way, Mike growing up was always picked on by the other boys for being skinny and having elderly parents but he ended up being quite handsome when he got to his teen years, he soon moved out when he was 20 and lived in a small apartment a few mintues druve away from his parents, he got a job as a photographer for special occasions like weddings, baby showers, birthdays and other things and he ended up getting a lot of money for it, he then became a animal photographer from magazines and the pictures became popular making him more money, he did ask his parents if he could use some of his money to fix up the home but his dad rejected the offer saying the house was fine so Mike put half of his money to the side for his future while using the rest to buy a RV, he then sold his apartment and then traveled around australia to take pictures of animals and irs how he met Wilhelm, Mike liked Wilhelm as they both have a big love of bird and he never had anyone who shared his interests before so he was happy to have a friend, he soon realised though that he was getting feelings for Will and he hoped Will liked him back.

Spy - Spy who is named Jacque Voclain was born in 1976 making him 48 years old and he was born in france, Jacque is a very busy businessman and he works for a very popular french company, he's worked at the company for years going from a rookie to the CEO of the company, he has also traveled around a lot and it's how he met Jeremy's mom and accidentally had Jeremy with her, Jacque payed Child support to Jeremy's mom until Jeremy was 18 and he doesn't hear for Jeremy himself but his mom fills Jacque in on what he's done and what he's been doing over the almost 3 decades Jeremy being around, Jacque had never really met anyone else after Jeremy's mom and he did try to find someone similar to her but it never worked, Jacque hopes to meet up with Jeremy's mom again as he still loved her after all of these years but he wished she didn't have all those kids with different men.

That's all for now and i'll add more if i think of anything else, see you all next time! 😋

[that-aspiring-academic]

Study & Grades Update -

Given that I have a test next week on Factoring, as well as a whole day of Robotics volunteering, a build course, and some English assignments I wanted to make a plan for my day. I, unfortunately, didn’t get it all done but that’s just what happens sometimes. Taking breaks is good, burnout’s a killer and I can’t afford to get back into a slump again.

(Side note - this ended up being 2 days in a row so, yeah)

What I wanted to get done for my schoolwork:

My robotics team assignment

1.5 of math work (factorization, LCM, etc.)

Essay (independent study)

My PE work (late)

What I ended up getting done (yesterday):

The robotics team assignment

45 minutes of math *

Thesis on the essay (rough draft)

Completed English slanted-writing poetry assignment

What I ended up getting done (today):

30 minutes of math **

Reworked Thesis statement

Robotics volunteer hours scheduling

* honestly really disappointed in myself with this, but I don’t think it could have been helped. I don’t know what questions I need to do and I can’t remember a single thing about factor/factoring/factorization (so many similar names for different things T.T)

** still mad at myself for this. I was procrastinating on essentially everything today; self care, schoolwork, etc. I got my parents to ask me questions from my textbook and see if my answers were correct which showed a startling issue with my ability to factor & to do factorization if there’s no example question. Takeaway is; I got confused and I’m still confused.

GRADES UPDATE -

So, while I was finishing typing this, my updates grades came in. Essentially there’s only 2 things we get graded on; our workbooks & our unit tests (not quizzes even though we still see how we did on those). My math grades are still shit, but my workbook submission for unit 2 bumped my grade up by 10% so I’m not technically failing anymore!!!! (I’m at a 58.6%, still bad but better than before)

I am a bit confused as to why I only got 90/100 on my workbook rather than 100/100 as I got last unit, but it might have something to do with me doing less of the non-essential questions or showing less work? There was no note in the email or in the physical book and I’d rather not ask my teacher just because I don’t feel like I understand enough of how she does her grading for me to properly argue my mark.

My test on unit 2 is sometime this week, probably tomorrow but I don’t know, so wish me luck!!!!

The next unit is graphing, so hopefully that ends up boosting my grade to around a 65%, and then the midterms to boost it further if possible, and both those tests (unit 3 - graphing, and the midterms) are probably going to be in November so hopefully I figure stuff out a bit more by then!

Lastly, and I’m really sorry for how long this has become, due to financial reasons I’m probably not going to end up doing Kumon. I’m fairly disappointed by this but there’s not much I can do.

I don’t have a job (legally can’t really yet) and it’s 190$ a month, as well as the fact that my mom isn’t sold on the fact that they won’t help me with my current math problems until I get past all my current issues, something that the tutor estimated would take around 6 months at 2 sheets per day.

Honestly I think it would really help but it is what it is, so I’m going to be attempting to just Khan Academy my way through the Kumon Method by myself! (This is going to be a challenge, chat)

Thank you to everyone that reached out for your advice and kindness :]

[poke-admin-showdown]

ROUND 2 ANALYSIS: A PATTERN EMERGES

round two voting has concluded! and as is usual, i have some things to say about it

first of all, this round marks the entrance of our four highest seeded contenders - plumeria, the shadow triad, eri and matt. the title of this roundup post was originally going to be "MATT'S HERE NOW" but his match was actually significantly tamer than others, and there's something else i want to talk about more

almost half of our contestants going into the quarterfinals share three attributes: a red theme, bobbed hair, and capacity for (possibly feral) violence. mars, courtney and mela have significant support within the demographic of people voting in this bracket. now, i doubt the hair is really doing anything, i think that's mostly a coincidence, but it is interesting and pretty funny to me how that's worked out.

starting with mars: she's feral and we all love her for it. there have been enough tags about mars being feral that i'm going to have enough to make an entire tag compilation post at the end of this bracket. she's the star of the most one-sided poll this round, winning against petrel by 88% of votes. this is also our most-voted poll with 161 votes at time of writing. tumblr LOVE mars.

secondly, courtney: a significantly closer match this time against her team magma colleague tabitha, but still a clear win. i thought this match would have been a lot closer, and i saw some great arguments for both opponents in the tags, but in the end courtney won by 65%. that's pretty significant! i was honestly half expecting tabitha to win. i would like to officially state that i hope our banner isn't influencing results even though it is correct.

and finally, mela. i was not expecting her to get this far, i'll be completely honest. she has rage in her heart, yes, but she's also wearing those big ol boots. i spend a lot of time thinking about garment construction and how it would limit movement in a fistfight and in mela's case, i believe her boots would hinder her. She was seeded below Atticus for this exact reason. but she's taken down a galactic commander (rip saturn you tried) and her ninja-themed bestie, and i'm very curious to see how she'll do against her next opponent. will the angry bebooted teenager make it through the quarterfinals or will her reign end here? who know! not me!

other things of note: jupiter made it through round two, but with significantly less of a winning margin at 56/44% at time of writing (which is also our closest match), with a reverse sweep, since Oleana had an initial lead. i'd chalk this up to her opponent - while i haven't played swsh, i have heard a few things about oleana, and she does seem like the kind of person to fight dirty. unfortunately for her the tumblr consensus seems to be that jupiter would fight dirtier. the #jupitersweep dream lives on For Now.

a fight i wasn't expecting to be as close as it was is (one of) the shadow triad vs rocket executive archer. i don't know if archer has secret combat tricks i don't know about and that's why he got 34% of votes but that was genuinely a surprise to me considering he was up against an actual ninja who can appear out of thin air and stuff. pretty impressive on his part honestly.

finally, and related to my last point, we've lost two more villainous teams this round. team rocket has lost all four of its representatives in one round and is now entirely out of the running. we also lost macro cosmos's only representative, oleana, who did her best and i'm very proud of her.

the teams left in the running are teams aqua, magma, galactic, plasma, skull and star. most of those only have one representative left but galactic and star have two. i don't have too much to say about this, but i do think it's interesting and worth noting.

and now, funny tags time!

(courtesy of @/edgeanescence on the matt vs ariana poll)

(courtesy of @/spaghettiwolf on plumeria vs proton)

(courtesy of @/pixelchaos00, also on plumeria vs proton)

(mars vs petrel compilation, courtesy of @/clefaiiiry, @/salon-maiden-anabel and @/quarterdollar)

[quotesfrommyreading]

Long before the pandemic, the threat of illness was already very real for older people.  Where America has landed is hardly a new way of life but rather one that is simply more onerous. “One way to think about it is that this is a new risk that’s out there” alongside other natural causes of death, such as diabetes and heart failure, Black said. But it’s a risk older Americans can’t ignore, especially as the country has dropped all COVID precautions. Since Christmas Eve, I have felt uneasy about how readily I normalized putting so little effort into protecting my nonagenarian loved ones, despite knowing what might happen if they got sick. For older people, who must contend with the peril of attending similar gatherings, “there’s sort of no good choice,” Black said. “The world has changed.”

But this new post-pandemic reality also includes insidious effects on older people that aren’t directly related to COVID itself. Those who put off nonemergency visits to the doctor earlier in the pandemic, for example, risked worsening their existing health conditions. The first year of the pandemic plunged nearly everyone into isolation, but being alone created problems for older adults that still persist. Before the pandemic, the association between loneliness and higher mortality rates, increased cardiovascular risks, and dementia among older adults was already well established. Increased isolation during COVID amplified this association.

The consequences of isolation were especially profound for older adults with physical limitations, Naoko Muramatsu, a community-health professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago, told me. When caregivers or family members were unable to visit, people who required assistance for even the smallest tasks, such as fetching the mail and getting dressed, had no options. “If you don’t walk around and if you don’t do anything, we can expect that cognitive function will decline,” Muramatsu said; she has observed this firsthand in her research. One Chinese American woman, interviewed in a survey of older adults living alone with cognitive impairment during the pandemic, described the debilitating effect of sitting at home all day.“I am so useless now,” she told the interviewer. “I am confused so often. I forget things.”

Even older adults who have weathered the direct and indirect effects of the pandemic still face other challenges that COVID has exacerbated. Many have long relied on personal caregivers or the staff at nursing facilities. These workers, already scarce before the pandemic, are even more so now because many quit or were affected by COVID themselves. “Long-term care has been in a crisis situation for a long time, but it’s even worse now,” Muramatsu said, noting that many home care workers are older adults themselves. Nursing homes nationwide now have nearly 200,000 fewer employees compared with March 2020, which is especially concerning as the proportion of Americans over age 65 explodes.

Older people won’t have one single approach to contending with this sad reality. “Everybody is trying to figure out what is the best way to function, to try to have some level of everyday life and activity, but also keep your risk of getting sick as low as possible,” Brangman said. Some of her patients are still opting to be cautious, while others consider this moment their “only chance to see grandchildren or concerts or go to family gatherings.” Either way, older Americans will have to wrestle with these decisions without so many of their peers who have died from COVID.

Again, many of these people did not have it great before the pandemic, even if the rest of the country wasn’t paying attention. “We often don’t provide the basic social support that older people need,” Kenneth Covinsky, a clinician-researcher at the UCSF Division of Geriatrics, said. Rather, ageism, the willful ignorance or indifference to the needs of older people, is baked into American life. It is perhaps the main reason older adults were so badly affected by the pandemic in the first place, as illustrated by the delayed introduction of safety precautions in nursing homes and the blithe acceptance of COVID deaths among older adults. If Americans couldn’t bring themselves to care at any point over the past three years, will they ever?

  —  Life Is Worse for Older People Now

[flowflowflowflow]

Boat is in reverse position for word 'Enthusiasm' in escaping to Rivendell

EN~514

+3 (In such case flipped position of boat as assumed as normal)

EQ~517

Let's check EQ (Sick Bubblegum)

SV, red, 6.58 AM, related to very rapid and extremely enthusiastic attempt to escape to Rivendell (Keeping this in mind)

19, 22

41 (41st victim, + 1 from red as 2 halves of children of Zuckerberg. Catherine explains to second Ariana Grande that Mark is unable to erase her, whereas she has already married to me, who is the only person who can erase her, in such way demonstrating her difference between them)

This slightly suggests 30 (CHS)

1+9+2+2~14

Looks as

A((CA)<-W)~A(AC)~113, 14, 3 and looks as chemistry (Suggestion about 'GO' as 67+3 in post with Where Crawdads Sing) and CH as Catherine Horodnitskii

In other words she enjoys behaving as my little bitch with whom I can do whatever I want, who can do whatever she wants with you, while she is unreachable for you because she is CHSBW

30 seems as (17+12+1)

6.58~64/19

Not TP (Because TR probably)

And adding red, 64+1, 19+1

65 seems as 66-1, where 66 from 1966th year

20 seems as 17+3 where 17 is 12.17.1966

Whereas in New York it was

2.58 AM

60 and 2.02 and 2.42

Let's add red

61 seems as either forever (Drained) or 139 (Drained Nyarlathotep?) and 29 as 26+3 or just 12+17

While 2.02, Bob, PE: DK, EDward

3,1,23~3123~54

Adding red, 2.03, as Boc

We see escape to Rivendell and let's look in "Back to Shire'

2.03 + 3 negators

1112.03~212.03~

BABOC as БАБОС as БАКС and those huge bucks of money from which Chris Wray was turning away his head in my collages

21203~baboc, БАБОС, money man

Rivendell

189

-4

185, RE, well, 86

But 19+66+17+12~114~86

We have 86 and we had 87 from 186 in Earthquake

While 193~7 (3+2+3-1)

And 8, Earthquake

And 1+7 and 3+2+3

Whatever

Okay, further

There was 84, and red

85 as 1(86)

Flipped boat is not negator

This is reference to excessive enthusiasm

Omega + 3

What's in Rivendell?

RI~189, number of countries with Grand Lodges under jurisdiction of UGLE

Why exactly Rivendell?

Because there are High Elves

PE: DK had height 1.85 meters

I and Chris Wray have height 1.80 meters

So Chris Wray tried to escape in Rivendell to seek for help of high elves to deal with ongoing events (+5 centimeters, as 5th position of PE: DK)

With absolute enthusiasm

BOAT~2+15+1+20~38/11 and 23/5 as

38 as CH in Chris

It's flipped

62/89 and 77/5

3 negators

65/92 and 80/8

65 as 66-1

92 as Illusive Man eyes, Chris's eyes

80 as Nyarlathotep, 323

Boat got flipped on enthusiasm but there are 3 negators to fix it

Seemingly link to Lily Cole, very big IQ value required

Anyway, let's forgive (65~135~25, BE, 'I am sorry') flipped due to enthusiasm boat

There was attempt to escape in Rivendell

But it totally failed

Let's check post

3+22+20+22~67 as (1+2+1+7+1+9+6+6~33, 133) and 3+4+2+4~13

67/13

Let's remember about 3 negators or 4 if without enthusiasm

71/17

71~129 (12+17)

17, Q (17th birthday, but 1(29), specification, adjustment, strike)

If with enthusiasm, then 67+3~70, GO, Catherine says that she wants to do what I previously said

And 16

(CAW)~13+3

BABOC

Sell out

Remember this from 10.21.2022?

Let's add one more

See you Soon

We remember there was number 189 and 'not elvian language (About sigils)'

Enthusiasm is very important (Remember extended version of Teardrops on My Guitar at Bacon Theatre or Beacon)

Let's apply same +3 or +4 here

We see 'BE~135~65'

Let's apply +3

5+18+42~65

+3~68 (132)

And there is closed marriage mentioned

A appears

5+9+6~20

+3~23 as 26-3

Or 33-10 or 33-90~123 because wife

But mine, not of Chris Wray

Let's check

33123

Don't CC yourself

133123~67/13 (67~133)

Let's check Earthquake

6.58

My timezone

+3

6.61~67/13, exactly

Look at 661 as (66)1 where 66 from 1966

Written in cool way

And escape in Rivendell done on a boat

This presumes it was done by Lily Cole or Greta Thunberg

There is enthusiasm, boat is slipped but still moves

Looks like rather Lily Cole

111(123)~11(1(323))~21(323) seems as drained Lily Cole!

21+323~344, Sick Bubblegum

But why did Lily Cole was running from somewhere (Seemingly USA) in Rivendell which is Grand Lodge of UGLE?

So it was not Lily Cole, possibly, but somebody very enthusiastic

Yes, there's 71~129

11.58~13.58

Ignoring red

84, 136

Within mind of not Lily Cole

Finally, 2.58~60

Red, 59~7 (3+2+3-1)

Finally SV

VS under Wreification

3 negators

Very strong anal sex

Fist Fuck (66 from 1966th)

Bad luck (BL, 212)

We remember about BABOC

XOR

OC remains

18~17+1

And ML as 25

Now let's again check 3.22 post

With escape to Rivendell

Escape to Rivendell failed (Bad luck)

11(1,19)~220

Remember about 41

220~28 as C+A+W+1

Escape to Rivendell, also Galadriel

Ending of LOTR 3

No rush, no enthusiasm

Seemingly 71+-4

67~133 and 75 (84)

125~1335 (Yes and, and 336, Black Whore, 223~1(323))

No Or~67

Without Jenna Ortega

However

However

Escape to Rivendell failed

4 wives, right

And 6.2~138 (ACH, CH from Chris)

Escape was to Rivendell

And person was returned back to Shire

SH as A(SHer) if we use incorrect usage of first 3 in prefix

And RED(SV), 19+22 as 23+18~41

Seemingly blood transfusion at farms (Hoboken Hollows)

We can add seemingly last post from first Ariana Grande

Also

31231 (Cool way)

31(231~My Nothing 8(Th))

31(1314828)

31214828

(312~Cab, Ml/Bl)

148~EB

Cab eb Th (Seemingly adventures of second Ariana Grande and second Taylor)

312+52~364

392~c 92~c Jenna Horodnitskii, in other words, second Ariana Grande fucks second Taylor Swift, whereas Jenna Ortega dies right after formal marriage to me, because I am not OS but OC and OC is in open marriage so we don't need to care about multiple linked identities)

Not dad

Vi is alive

Vi Go

VG

V govno

+

228

And there's Lily Cole somewhere

Jenna appears to be a Charlotte, in other words Chris Wray

ML/BL + 5 bottles of vodka

5222~74

Both 74 and 84

While Jenna Ortega is the real Taylor Rothschild and gots drained because of being in mask, since I search for people only visually and can't remove mask with my hands

Ultraviolance + Wrong

Feel this? Not good enough

Next step was escape to Rivendell to Ascended Masters yet it completely failed and led to disaster

Which appears to be

3((3123)1)

33+12+31~76~124~LD(chka)

In other words, Chris Wray was playing scenario of his funerals in 'cool version' of filming

Where he died in cool way and then there was modeling of situations

Yet, in process he decided to escape in Rivendell for actual Master's advice

And it led to fatal for him consequences

3123(1+3)

31234

c GKAT

Iksik in

GKAT is of course in this interpretation is EB

c EB~352~3513~48/12

How the hell you can get 48 from 11.58?

Take 58 and subtract 10 as 'for 90 days'

Because not marriage

Seemingly second Taylor to Putin for 90 days because marriage was not official while Taylor Rothschild was undercover and Jenna got drained because of wearing mask of Taylor Rothschild, after she got married to me officially, since I am not OS but OC, whereas as Chris Wray tragically died in catastrophic events during his way to Rivendell (Diana in reference, 49+3~52) he couldn't help to finish starring of Jenna Ortega in this wonderful movie as well as was unable to bring advice from Rivendell on time

As the result, I need to check on Jenna Ortega and Lady Gaga, yet there's one irreversible tragic event: death of Chris Wray

And, as he was escaping at boat (38~62 and 65~66-1, bad sign, as in Eclipse and burning tree in the Ring, BT~220, cab, somewhere, as father of Brian Hugh Warner in corresponding video for WE ARE CHAOS)

Lily Cole is referenced

So unfortunately Chris's Wray body was unrecognizable and had to thaw out

An tai

Tai wan

Af ca

Af w

AFW

1623

61~139~29

My nothing

200+27

227

VG

GO

Let's check post with 67+3 again

(Feel SKG? Even though Chris Wray didn't reach Rivendell and PE: DK is dead

)))))

You still have me

There was 13+3~16

Seemingly 17-1

Ехал грека через реку

В реке рак

Galadriel

As we remember, water doesn't add negation

Cancer is 71~129, abi

So cancer (Second Ariana Grande) started to f*** second Taylor Swift but she was doing this without pleasure

129~30

Second Taylor, I don't understand whether you are victim or source of problems, is it clear?

10.05~10.55~65~66-1

Let's check transfusion part

SV

RW

WR

177~1123~1323, A(CW), yes, Chris Wray tragically died and had to thaw out

Go

Yeah

[school-of-pe]

Is the FE Other Discipline Exam the Easiest to Pass?

Individuals aspiring to become professional engineers tend to be confused about what discipline to choose. While most choose their respective field, those who can’t decide might select the field with the most straightforward exam.

Among the various domains, the FE Other Exam is portrayed to be an easy exam to pass. Is this true? Let us explore the following factors before arriving at a decision.

Is the FE Other Exam the Easiest: The Determining Factors

Specifications:

Every FE Exam has a different set of specifications. Here’s a comparison of some discipline-specific FE exams and FE Other exam.

FE Civil Vs. FE Other Exam Specifications:

In the FE Civil exam, 4-6 questions will be asked from the dynamic topic, while in the FE Other exam, 9-14 questions will be asked from the same topic. If you are familiar with dynamic topics, you can increase your chances of passing the FE Other exam.

FE Mechanical Vs. FE Other Exam Specifications:

The FE Mechanical Exam does not cover chemistry and environmental subjects. The FE Other exam has chemistry and environmental topics along with other similar topics.

While FE Mechanical has separate question ranges for thermodynamics (10-15) and heat transfer (7-11) topics, FE Other has one question range (9-14). So, you do not have to study too many thermodynamics and heat transfer topics if you select FE Other.

Pass Rates:

Pass rates have always been crucial in determining the FE exam difficulty level. While true, it also does not mean only one exam will be challenging yearly. 

For example, look at the FE Exam pass rates for 2023. The pass percentage of FE Civil and FE Other seems to be one of the lowest values, while FE Mechanical stands at 65%.

Source

FE Chemical has the highest pass percentage, which might vary the following year. So, putting a finger on any one FE exam is impossible, and pass percentages could not be attributed to an FE exam being the easiest to pass. 

PE Exams:

Consider you are an engineering undergraduate and want to become a PE Civil engineer. You decide to take the FE Civil, pass the exam, and go on to take PE Civil. It would be easy for you to take the PE Civil exam if you have already passed FE Civil since you have already covered some portions of the PE Civil exam.

On the other hand, if you take the FE General, pass the exam, and take PE Civil. You have to start preparing for the PE Civil from scratch. Ergo, choosing the FE discipline should depend on the field closest to your major.

Tips from Students Who Passed the FE Other Exam:

Below are some tips from students who have switched from a FE specific discipline to FE General:

If you just want to pass the FE exam, then take the FE Other exam. If you want to major in any specific engineering discipline, avoid taking FE Other.

The duration between taking the FE and PE exams matters a lot. If you plan to take the FE Exam this month and plan to take the PE Exam in the next quarter, then go with your preferred major.

We hope this answers your question. If you’re still debating which discipline to choose, read https://www.schoolofpe.com/blog/2018/11/which-fe-exam-should-i-take.html

[lunaxriax]

Odds for Jinae?

-🦋

distract me pls

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Nope. I do have a little crush on someone, though.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Yes.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yes, I have.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, a friend's and that's it.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

I don't really plan things and just see how things go? Because I hate planning things and they don't go the way they should.

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Neither? I'm not really a dog person.

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Zoo!

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

My first phone contact is my brother, so very long.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

I think I'd rather be set on fire.

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

I don't know. I don't really have too many good thoughts and memories about marriage.

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

Right now, none.

25: What’s on your mind?

I want to go swimming!

27: What is your favorite color?

Any pastel color.

29: Who are you texting?

Right now, no one.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Plenty of times.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I don't think so.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I'd feel a little hurt about it but I wouldn't mention it because I'm not dating that person so it doesn't matter.

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes, I am.

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

I don't think so.

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

On my knee.

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

I have those thoughts occasionally. Only because I'm used to moving around and never staying in a place for too long.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

All of my shoes are favourites! I have a shoe obsession, honestly.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Oh gosh, that would be a funny look, don't you think?

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

Yes.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

A couple of my friends do, I don't know why. Shopping is fun!

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Not really. I'm used to people leaving, so I learned to live with it.

55: How is your hair?

In desperate need of a trim and maybe some deep conditioning

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

When I was younger I was convinced of that but as I got older, I started hoping for it more rather than believing it.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Both!

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

I wish I was at a nice beach with a cocktail.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

I have no idea.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yes.. unfortunately

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

No, I haven't.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

A lot of times, yes.

71: How many fingers do you have?

10

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 26

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

They tried to kill me, so that was dealbreaker!

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

A few.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

No.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

One.

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

I don't know. Maybe

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes, I would care. Because I can understand it.

87: Who was your last received call from?

A co-worker

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Self respect.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Yes. It's nice.

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Maybe. I have lots of secrets, but I'm not sure if people need to know about any of it.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Nope, no problem at all.

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

I have.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, I don't.

[szethsmom]

It's frankly a crime that never in all my years in orchestra did anyone ever even consider programming excerpts from Joe Hisaishi's Ghibli film scores.

[candysims4]

FREEDOM HAIR

A wonderful and voluminous wavy hair, with 3 color palettes and some loose strands this hair is a mix of what I love in hairs and name with a meaning huge for me, I hope you guys enjoy this hair. 

BEHIND THE NAME: This hair is named after Beyoncé’s song: Freedom.  This song has been a mantra for me in the last weeks.  It reminds me that I have to fight those who oppress me and never give up my freedom to be who I am and that “if life gives me lemons, I can make lemonade”. 

This music also reminds me, that there are millions of people around the world protesting, facing rubber bullets, pepper spray, and whatever else comes to them to scream for everyone to hear that none of them will simply lay down and let their freedom rot in hell! Showing their oppressors that they're tired of being oppressed and killed by their skin color, gender, etc. 

And as each one of these people had/have the strength to go out into the streets and scream: BLACK LIVES MATTER, WE ARE BORN THIS WAY, I'M NOT A VIRUS and a lot of other truths, that aren’t hard to say but apparently is hard to understand for some “people”; I can also have the strength to face those who humiliate me and discriminate me in my real life.

I admire all these brave people, each one, all of you are my inspiration for not bow my head in a country where when happening homophobia, xenophobia, r*cism, sexism, etc, is something "normal" and even cultural; and for a LOT of people, it makes you an aberration, a monster, you shouldn't even exist or even worse, they kill you. 

Some facts about Brazil that I also want to take this opportunity to say to the rest of the world, and the government and a lot of people I know in real life doesn’t mention:

- 71% of homicide victims in Brazil are black. They are mostly black men, with low education and income, living in the periphery and aged up to 29 years.

- In Brazil there is one murder a day related to homophobia.

- We are the country that kills the most transsexuals in the world.

- Brazil ranks fifth in female homicides, with a rate of 4.8 murders per 100,000 women, of which 65% are black.

- There were 4,606 women murdered in 2016, in addition to 49,497 reported r*pe cases

I know that I promised to not do long posts, but there are things in life that need to be said for everyone hear and not hide as I’m wrong for being proud of myself and for the fearless people out there, who fights against the oppression for themselves, their family and friends.  And I am really tired of being quiet to avoid conflict, hate, and more stress in my life; because here is my safe place from my real life as I always wanted it to be for everyone, and if someone hates me for being just for who I am and for what I believe it HAS to change.  I usually do early access in all my items, but this hair means so much for me for not sharing with everyone, as a reminder that I LOVE YOU ALL, no matter who you are.  Always remember to not hide because of the fear, and also that you are amazing, beautiful, and perfect in the way you are and if you need a place to feel safe, my Simblr is always here. And thanks to everyone who filled my mailboxes (DMs, asks, feedback form and also email) with lots of love and support. I'm still reading through all the messages and answering one by one. 

YOU ALL INSPIRE ME! AND AS A WONDERFUL DRAG QUEEN I KNOW SAYS: “IF YOU CAN’T LOVE YOURSELF, HOW THE HELL YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE? CAN I GET AN AMEN?" ✊🏳‍🌈

TEEN TO ELDER

HAT & BASE GAME COMPATIBLE

MADE FOR FEMALE FRAME

DISALLOWED FOR RANDOM

75 SWATCH COLORS - 24 plain colors from EA Color Palette - 24 ombre colors from EA Color Palette (Island Living EP) - 27 plain colors from my Candy Color Palette

YOU WILL FIND IN MEDIUM HAIR OR/AND WAVY

360º GIF & THUMBNAILS (HOSTED IN IMGUR)

MY SITE (NO AD.FLY) - No early access, because freedom is for everyone! PATREON EARLY ACCESS

TERMS OF USE | SEND YOUR FEEDBACK | REPORT AN ISSUE

Thanks to all cc creators that I used in the pic. And thanks for @maxismatchccworld, @simblrcollective, @love4sims4, @s4library​ and everybody who reblog this post! With your help more people are able to know my work! 💖

[fumiko-matsubara]

Class 3B - Fukiyose Eiji (OC)

Another goddamned redesign update with this bastard because my art style keeps changing.

He also appeared on my most recent calendar mark written short.

Fukiyose Eiji (吹寄 英二) ー causing trouble for others and himself because of his unpleasant tongue; an audacious prick indeed!

"These roses symbolize my undying devotion towards you, my dear Ryuunosuke! Please accept them!"

Birthday: August 3

Height: 178 cm

Weight: 65 kg

Blood Type: O

Favourite Subjects: Japanese and Biology

Worst Subjects: PE and Health

Interests and Special skills: Antagonizing people

Current Club: Light Music Club

Treasured Item(s): His old journal about flower languages

Favourite Food: Egg pie

Bento or Snacks: Snacks

Tall, good-looking, and gets good grades; he could have been considered as an ikemen if it weren't for his liking towards provoking people for fun.

He is un-athletic and hates sports with a burning passion. The kind of excuses he makes to avoid participating in any physically demanding event is an ongoing concern among the teachers.

He is, however, very diligent and gets the job done, but still has a lot to say. You can expect him to dutifully fulfil tasks given to him while loudly complaining about it at the same time. Chiba Ryuunosuke is usually on the receiving end of his passionate complaints, and it pisses him off.

Anybody in Kunugigaoka who had come across him either finds him annoying or might consider attempted murder.

He and Shimada Miho are the founding members of D.R.E.A.M, one of the bands formed in the school's light music club. But aside from writing lyrics, Eiji avoided being given any sort of responsibility within the band - band leadership was pushed onto Chiba, and club presidency was transferred to Miho.

Tsuchiya Kaho was initially mildly interested in him... until he opened his mouth. Since then, Eiji is usually on the receiving end of Kaho's wrath whenever he sets her off. He had no choice but to always cross paths with her since she is best friends with Miho.

He and Kanemoto Shiori are partners in crime. He is her frontsoldier while she exposes any Kunugigaoka student she has dirt on behind the scenes. If things go south, Eiji is there for a reason.

He is the easiest to blame for any slight inconvenience because he tends to dig his own grave even further.

By the 2nd semester, Chiba had temporarily kicked him out of the band for about 16 times.

Because of all the questionable things he had been doing the past three years, a good number of students believe that he might be gay.

At one point, Nakamura Rio was convinced that he is Chiba's secret boyfriend.

Chiba still hadn't forgiven him, and probably never will, for what he did in their 2nd year.

[ukrfeminism]

Teachers say they do not feel equipped to deal with peer-on-peer sexual abuse because they have had no training.

More than 1,500 UK teachers replied to a questionnaire from BBC Radio 4's File on 4 and teachers' union the NASUWT.

More than half said they did not think adequate procedures were in place in their schools to deal with abuse.

Many are also unsure how to deliver elements of a new sex-and-relationships curriculum, which the government says third parties might now help with.

In England, the Department for Education has introduced a compulsory Sex and Relationships Education (RSE) curriculum in all schools, focusing on relationships in primary schools and sex and relationships in secondaries.

It has also asked Ofsted to review peer-on-peer safeguarding procedures.

Of the teachers surveyed, almost a third said they had witnessed peer-on-peer sexual harassment or abuse and almost one in 10 said they saw it on a weekly basis.

The debate about a culture of sexual abuse at schools has escalated in recent months after a website set up for victims to post their experiences anonymously gained more than 16,000 posts - some from children as young as nine.

The Everyone's Invited website publishes anonymous allegations which refer mostly to sexual harassment carried out against young women by young men at their school or university.

The government has now launched a dedicated hotline with the NSPCC for young people who feel they have been harassed and abused.

Since the helpline launched at the beginning of April, it has received more than 350 calls, and 65 referrals have been made to agencies including social services and the police.

'I felt so alone'

Amina is now 19 and still trying to come to terms with what happened to her at high school. She says her harassment started when she was in Year 7, aged 11.

"I started to get bullied and people were making rumours up about me. They were saying I would go home with so many different guys and have sex with them - that was really upsetting for me.

"It was during the summertime and we were practising for PE, and then I'm sitting there with my friends and then there's this group of boys next to us. And then I just feel a hand on my back, forcing me onto the floor and then this boy starts grinding on me, and I think during that moment - I just completely froze.

"And then I look up at my teacher and then he looks at me and then he looks away. I just felt so alone in that moment. Part of me felt like it was my fault because of other people's responses. I remember telling myself just to stay strong and just wait until I got home to cry."

Amina is now being supported by the Rape Crisis charity.

The new RSE curriculum in England was introduced in September 2020.

Andrew Fellows, associate head of policy at child-protection charity the NSPCC, says that while the new lessons are a positive development, schools have not been given the support and guidance to deliver the new curriculum effectively.

"Coercive control, sexual consent, healthy relationships, online safety, pornography - that's all in there.

"But what schools haven't been given is the guidance and the support to cover that and to deliver that in a way that works for their students," he said.

Flora Cooper, head teacher of Crowmarsh Primary School in Oxfordshire, where staff have just started to teach the new RSE lessons, said: "In terms of external training, we've not had any.

"We actually haven't seen much being offered in terms of training and it is absolutely in the training - that's what is essential, which we don't have.

"Until the teachers are confident with the delivery of the content, then I don't think any of them will be confident and fully teaching the children the full curriculum. It feels as though we are on our own."

Ofsted is currently conducting a review of safeguarding policies and practices relating to sexual abuse in state and independent schools and colleges.

It was ordered by the government after thousands of young people - mostly girls and young women - contacted the Everyone's Invited website.

Children's Minister Vicky Ford said: "We've seen these enormously worrying and very shocking allegations that have come through the Everyone's Invited site.

"One of the things that Ofsted will be looking at in this review is, are schools getting enough training and support? Do they need, for example, third parties to come in and train elements of that curriculum?"

Anyone who has suffered sexual abuse at school can contact the dedicated NSPCC helpline on 0800 136 663.

[tjswritingstuff]

Today I wrote!

I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, maybe not something to brag about, but since my daughter was born, writing has been a difficult process. Not because I don’t want to, not because I don’t have ideas, but because being a mom is DEMANDING.

It’s a constant 24/7 call to action to make sure your kids are fed, clothed, clean and happy, and sometimes somethings got to give.

My daughter took her nap, and I finally decided to start a new story Inspired by a Tumblr post that’s been floating around for a while about what if the chosen one was an adult.

So far, it’s untitled. But I have decided it’s an ensemble piece, based loosely on the idea adventuring party, it will be a “quest” type dungeon crawl story. Essentially a group of high school teachers will be tackling the end of the world around trying to make lesson plans.

So, we have Kurtis “Mr. Stevenson,” who is a 65-year-old history teacher. He will be filling the role of a cleric, he has the most knowledge about the world and the lore, and he knows the kinds of things people believed and when they believed them.

The next is 23-year-old music/theater teacher the bard of the group. Anita Winters.  She plays a lot of different instruments and likes to sing. But her real passion is theater. She’s an actress when she gets parts, but mostly she just wants to pay her bills.

Then we have the fighter, 34-year-old Heidi Welch. Ms. Welch is the gym/pe teacher, and she’s buff. She’s a fighter because she has a background in training students for several different fighting types. Primarily she's fit because she does a lot of running/weight training with her sports teams.

The Science teacher is 46-year-old Rodrick Harvey. Also known as Mr. Rick. He is the wizard because he knows how to make things go BOOM.  He is also the one that is immediately going to start trying to catalog and study and understand the new world, he fully understands the scientific value of the information that he’s suddenly privy to.

The art teacher is acting as our resident rogue. It is a male, 37-year-old Loren Wilkerson. He really learned a lot of things for art projects over the years. And some things he learned just by being a curious artist type. His roguish skill set mostly comes from breaking into art galleries for fun.

These characters will be dragged into a magical realm when the call to action that I haven’t figured out yet happens! And their lives are going to change, but they still have to be back in time to teach on Monday!

[psychovigilantewrites]

Don’t Call Me That Pt. 2

Wordcount: 10,129

A/N:  I thought this part 2 would total up to 10k words, but when it hit 10k, I realised that I was only about 65 percent done. So based on the responses I got from tumblr, I decided to publish this first and then conclude the story later on!

TW:  mentions of r*pe, mentions of torture, mentions of drugging someone (??) , mental breakdowns, vulnerability, descriptions of anxiety

Also, HERE’S MY FAV MEMES!! I’m so sorry that I can’t tag respective meme creators, because I saved them on my phone and some of them I forgot to include your usernames!! I’M SO SORRY!!! And honest to god is wear there were more but i must have lost them im so sorry im so incompetent lmao

memeesss

You glanced at your phone.

It had already been a week in Hawaii with your friends, and Jason still hadn’t texted you.

Well, you should have expected it, really. Jason was a traumatised, mentally ill man who had been locked away for two years.

Of course he wouldn’t text you first.

You had contemplated texting him over the past few days, typing in an array of messages ranging from a simple “hey” to a whole paragraph, and deleting all of it without hitting send. Did he even switch the phone on? Was he surfing the internet? Or was the phone still there on the shelf where you had left it.

It was driving you crazy.

“Do you have a boyfriend we don’t know about?” a voice called.

You looked up and squinted at the man who was standing up, looking down at you. You were sitting on the beach, a little further away from the ocean where your friends were.

“What are you talking about?” you asked as Alex plopped down next to you.

“You’ve been fidgety the whole time,” he pointed out, combing back his dark shoulder length hair with his fingers, getting sand in them. “We’re on a private beach, and you’ve been fussing over your phone. Who are you talking to?”

“No one,” you grumbled truthfully.

“The girls have been gossiping,” he gestured to the two other girls playing in the water. Your closest friends. It was four of you in that inseparable group.

“Of course they have,” you groaned, “Tell them to SAY IT TO MY FACE, COWARDS!”

You shouted at them, earning you grins and middle fingers from the distance.

“They’re saying you’re in love with someone,” he chuckled, “But they always say stupid shit like that without any evidence. But sometimes, a girl’s intuition is just right, ya know?”

“Stop beating around the bush, Alex,” you rolled your eyes at him despite knowing he couldn’t see past your sunglasses. “No, I’m not in love. I’m just waiting for a text that might never come.”

“Why don’t you text him first?”

“Because it’s not as simple as that!” you flailed your arms, “He’s… complicated. I can’t just text him anything.”

“Girl, unless he’s Mr. Nottingham, or related to you, then it really isn’t that complicated,” he joked.

“Ugh,” you groaned again, falling back onto the cloth you spread out. “Fine. I’ll text him.”

“Atta girl,” Alex grinned, “I’m gonna head back in the water. Join us after. Please?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved.

Opening the text window for what had to be the thirtieth time, you finally decided to text him.

You: Miss me yet?

Staring intently at the small ‘sent’ below your message bubble, you waited for it to turn to ‘delivered’.

“Yes!” you hissed. It meant that Jason had indeed switched on the phone.

But after twenty minutes you realised that it didn’t matter if Jason switched on the phone if he didn’t want to talk to you. Cursing to yourself, you decided to join your friends in the water, hoping it’ll distract you from checking your phone every five minutes for a text message that might never come.

After an hour of actually spending time with your friends, all four of you returned to the villa, your mood elevated. Checking your phone, you could have jumped for joy when you saw not one, but four consecutive texts in a row.

Jason: Duck off. Jason: What the duck Jason: WHY CANT I SAY DUCK Jason: I DUCKING HATE THIS

You couldn’t let out a string of giggles.

“Oooh, lover boy texted you back, huh?” Alex peeked over your shoulder. “Gimme, I wanna mess with him.”

He snatched your phone from your hands, surprisingly swift and smooth for a civilian, raising it way above his head so you couldn’t reach it and opened the camera.

“Alex-!”

He threw his other arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his bare chest, crushing you before you could tackle him down. He snapped a picture and sent it.

You froze in horror.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” you yelled.

“Relax, I was just messing around,” he gave your phone back to you.

“You don’t- you don’t understand, you fucking asshole!” you screamed.

“I- I’m sorry,” Alex stuttered, surprised by your reaction. “I was just-”

“Fuck off!” you snapped.

Panicking, you saw the little notification below the picture turning from Received to Read.

No. No, no, no, no.

This was bad.

You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason by sending him photos of your activities, thinking that he might react badly to the sudden surplus of familiarity and sense of being close to someone. Now you were worried that he might start to push you away in fear, reverting back to how he was before, and months of progress would have been all for nothing.

He would probably start swearing at you, or worse- switch off the phone and reject any form of communication completely. You hurriedly texted a reply.

You: I’m so sorry! I didn’t send that, my friend was just messing around.

Expecting the worst, you braced yourself for the inevitable. Instead, he sent you:

Jason: Who the hell is that guy?? Jason: Why are you in your underwear??

Your mouth hung open as you stared in shock at the screen. Because you took so long to recover from the shock, he sent you another message.

Jason: ???

Snapping out of it, you texted back.

You: That’s just my friend. Sorry about that! And I’m not in my underwear, it’s a bikini! I’m in Hawaii.

You waited for him to reply, but ten minutes of you sitting anxiously on the turquoise sofa in the middle of the villa listening to the waves of the beach outside from the open doors passed by, and he still hadn’t.

Perhaps he’s busy- wait. There’s no way Jason would be busy. You tried to coax him into a conversation.

You: You can turn off your autocorrect if you want to swear without hassle. Go to your Keyboard settings.

You plopped your phone on the empty seat next to you and dried your hair.

“Ugh, come on!” complained Natalie, fully clothed and washed, walking towards the open concept kitchen from her room. “You’re getting sand everywhere!”

“Woops, my bad,” you grinned.

“There’s a shower outside on the porch for a reason you know,” she flipped her blond beach waves at you, looking through the fridge.

Alex stood quietly at the kitchen island, now scared to say anything.

You rolled your eyes. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Okay, I promise!” he grinned.

Ding.

Jason: fuck. fuck. fucking fuck. Jason: found it. You: Proud of you, man.

You went to your room and showered, then dried off and put on fresh clothes while waiting for Jason to reply.

Of course, he never did.

Groaning, you had to remind yourself that he was not used to human interaction, and texting would come unnaturally to him. Which meant that you had to be the one to keep the conversation going.

You: Do anything interesting since I left?

You saw him typing almost immediately this time.

Jason: no.

Of course not.

You: Have you been eating properly? Jason: yeah.

God, it was so difficult. You were in the middle of typing something when he replied again.

Jason: yoire not my mom Jason: yoire Jason: YOIRE Jason: FUCK WHY CANR I TYPE

You felt guilty for laughing, but you did anyway.

You: Now that you switched off autocorrect, it won’t correct your typos and misspells anymore. Jason: i fucking knw that. Ive been gone for two yeard not twenty. You: Then why do you sound like a grandpa? Jason: BECAISE YOU GAVE ME A FUCKINF IPHONE!! I USED AN ANDROID!!

Now you were really laughing out loud, so you sent him a GIF of a woman rolling her eyes.

Jason: wtf you can send gifs throug text now?? You: Welcome to 2020, my dude. Jason: im not your fucking dude

Typing a reply, Jason interrupted you once again.

Jason: teach me how to do that

Smiling widely, you found that you couldn’t wait for the next week to pass by so you could go back and see him.

***

“How’s Jason?” you asked the minute you reached the Cave computers, panting from the run down.

“Wow, hello to you, too,” Dick chuckled, spinning towards you on the wheeled chair.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and Bruce and Dick were in front of the computers, discussing a case that had connections to Bludhaven Police Department.

Gone for two weeks, you had a lot to catch up on.

“According to Alfred, he’s doing well,” Bruce answered, “Even started to ask for seconds last week. Now Alfred has been making portions for two.”

“He asked? For seconds?” you gasped. “How?”

“He left a note on the tray two days after you left. He’s been making meal requests, too. Texts Alfred in the morning to let him know.”

“Texted?!”

“Alfred slipped his number on the tray in case Jason wanted anything specific.”

“I slipped mine as well, but he hasn’t texted me yet,” Dick pouted.

“When did he start texting?” you ignored Dick.

“Last Sunday.”

So the same day you started texting him, then.

“He hasn’t texted me,” Dick sighed, looking dejected like a kid who was told Disneyland blew up.

“He’ll come around, Dick,” you offered him a smile, “I mean- he’s already texting Alfred!”

“Yeah,” he lamented.

“Okaaay, nice talk. I’m gonna go see him now, bye.”

You ran to the box, but stopped right before you opened the internal door. After checking your hair with your phone camera, you tried to stifle the butterflies in your stomach.

Ugh, you were so fucked.

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.

“Yeah,” Jason’s muffled grunt answered you.

Pushing it open, your eyes immediately went to the bed only to find that he wasn’t lounging around reading a book like you expected. Instead, your mouth dropped open when you saw him on the floor, doing push ups.

Shirtless.

Jason had changed drastically during the two weeks you were gone. You noticed that he had definitely gained weight, as well as muscle mass.

“Uh, wh-what are you..?”

He stood up, and you swore your heart skipped a beat.

His muscles were much more prominent and defined now, and he looked like he was going to achieve Dick’s physique if he kept it up for another month or two.

“Welcome back,” he simply said before taking gulps from a water bottle you definitely had not seen before.

“Thanks,” you walked over and sat on his bed, “I’m glad to see that you decided to start taking care of yourself again.”

“What, this? This isn’t for me.”

“Huh?” you cocked your head in curiosity.

“I… I lost a lot of muscle mass. My body- it isn’t how it used to be,” he frowned, “And I can’t have you lusting over it when it’s not at its peak.”

“What- what do you-?” you stammered, suddenly getting hot.

Jason merely smirked and then continued his push ups.

You watched as his developing muscles rippled, a thin layer of sweat making his skin glisten in the light. It was amazing how he had progressed so much in such a short period of time. You guessed that he must have just been occupying his days by working out.

No wonder he’s been asking for seconds.

“Enjoying the view?” Jason breathed, pausing with his arms straightened, his head angled upwards towards you.

“No, shut up,” you looked away.

“Here, be useful,” he started, “Sit on my back.”

“What?”

“I’ve gotten used to my own body weight, I need extra resistance,” he elaborated, “Come on, sit on my back.”

“But it’s all sweaty,” you whined, pretending to protest. Definitely pretending- for the sake of your own dignity.

You got up and went over towards him anyway.

Carefully, awkwardly, you sat on his back as you would a park bench. You rested your palms flat against his sticky skin to stabilise yourself. Suddenly, he dipped down without warning, earning a soft squeal from you.

“Fuck, you’re heavy,” he strained, but continued to do the push ups. He was shakier, struggling with the weight, and after twenty-five, he paused. “Okay, I think I’m done.”

But before you had the chance to get off him, he suddenly stood up, throwing you off his back to have you fall on the floor on your ass.

“Jason, you assho-” you clapped your hand over your mouth, realising what you had just said.

Oh, no. Oh, fuck.

He stood towering over you, his jaw clenching as he stared you down with his cold, blue eyes.

“I’m so sorry! I forgot! It was a reflex and-”

“Whatever. I don’t care anymore,” he rolled his eyes, reaching for his bottle.

You blinked. Then scrambled to your feet.

“You don’t care anymore?” you repeated slowly.

“I don’t care if you call me that,” he huffed.

That made your heart swell and melt at the same time.

“I got used to your voice,” he mumbled, expression changing as he looked away. He frowned, as if he was angrily staring at a distant object.

You had just guessed that he didn’t like to be called his name because of a sense of familiarity, but now you were thinking that there was much more to that than what you had originally thought.

“So, I can call you… Jason?” you tested.

“Yeah, call me whatever you want,” he sat on his bed, looking up at you.

You smiled, thankful that you had finally crossed that bridge. “You know, I could get some workout stuff for you? Weights, bands, that bar thing that you can put at your door frame for pull ups…”

“You’d like to see that, huh?” he smirked.

“You flatter yourself too much,” you scoffed.

“How was Hawaii?” he changed the subject all of a sudden.

“It was fun. Beach was great, locals were great, loved the vibe- what are you doing?”

Jason had stood back up and started to walk closer and closer to you, getting all up in your space like a predator finally cornering its prey. You kept on taking steps back until your ass hit the edge of the desk.

Nowhere else to run, your heart started hammering. He leaned in, his hands resting on the desk on either side of your body, trapping you against the table and himself. You looked up and gulped. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his bare skin.

“Are you afraid of me?” he muttered lowly.

“Why would I be afraid of you?” you whispered.

“You tell me,” he said.

“Well, I’m not afraid of you,” you stated.

“Oh really?” he raised an eyebrow. Then, you felt his hand grip your wrist tightly, pressing down on your skin with his fingers. “Your pulse is very fast for someone who’s not afraid of me.”

“It’s because you’re all up in my space!” you argued.

“Didn’t look like you mind when your friend,” he snarled the word, “was all up in your space.”

“My friend? What- oh,” you widen your eyes in realisation, “You mean Alex.”

“Is that his name?”

“Alex is just a friend, nothing more. He’s just someone I’m close to,” you reassured him.

Which then made you think about why you were reassuring him.

“Oh, you were definitely close to him,” Jason growled.

“Wait- are you… jealous?” a smile creeped your lips.

He scowled at you for a few moments, and you could see the little tics in his expression that said he was annoyed. The flared nostrils, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching, the very slight twitches at the corner of his left eye.

“No,” he finally said, taking a step back from you. “I’m going to shower. Since you couldn’t stop staring at me, the invitation is still open for you to join.”

“You know, I’m starting to think that maybe I prefer it when you were broody instead of this. Please go back to your depressive mental state,” you sarcastically replied.

Jason barked out an actual laugh. Though his laugh was odd, like someone who’s only now discovering that humans were indeed capable of laughter, you found comfort in it. It was no longer hysterical and devoid of humor. He was getting better, learning to embrace a connection with someone, and it made you extremely happy.

“Maybe I should,” he answered with a cheeky glint in his eye, “Then that way you can give me more sponge baths.”

He left you alone in his room, flushed and at a loss for words.

***

“I find it very odd that people would yell ‘Batman!’ when they realise you’re there,” you rambled while climbing out of the Batmobile.

You were absolutely drenched from the downpour that had been going on all night. It was 4 am on a friday night and you had just returned from patrol.

Bruce took off his cowl immediately, revealing tired eyes despite the relatively slow night.

“It’s like they’re saying ‘Look at me! I’m here! Please knock me out or hang me upside down from the-’ Bruce?”

Bruce had stiffen, staring at something behind you. You turned around and was shocked to see Jason in the mid-distance, sitting on the ground outside the black box that was his room, leaning against the cool metal.

He himself was staring intently at Bruce, not even sparing you a glance.

You looked back and forth between the two men, sensing a high tension silent conversation.

Then, Bruce’s eyes relaxed and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly in that hardly-there-Bruce-smile.

He gave Jason one stiff nod of understanding, then walked away to the computers at the other end of the cave, leaving you alone with his son.

Jason relaxed as you walked over to him, wringing your hair to squeeze out all the excess water.

“Aw, you waited up for me,” you teased, standing in front of him with your hands on your hips, grinning away.

“Fuck off,” he snorted, “I was bored.”

You noticed him clenching his jaw as he looked at you from top to bottom, eyes lingering longer on the ‘R’ on your left breast.

Ah, it was his first time seeing you in your uniform.

His uniform.

Suddenly, you felt like an imposter in those colors and had the strong urge to rip the uniform off.

You wanted to say something, but Jason beat you to it.

“There were times in that shit hole where I wanted to burn that uniform off my skin,” he grit, “Kept on thinking to myself. I wish I never became Robin. I wish I never met Bruce Wayne.”

Your heart shattered at his confession. It was extremely rare for him to bring up anything related to his two year torture, and the previous times were never in such detail.

Realising you needed to say something, you opened your mouth. “I’m so-”

“Don’t,” he cut you off, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Yes, sometimes you knew that he just wanted you to listen.

You nodded silently and went to sit next to him on the floor.

“It… suits you,” he forced out.

“Hmm?”

“The uniform. It suits you. More than it ever suited me,” he grumbled.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think your ass would look quite nice in green,” you joked, nudging his shoulder with your own.

He chuckled deeply, nudging you back even harder- hard enough for you to lose your balance and topple sideways, earning another breathy laugh from Jason.

***

Another month passed by, and you found yourself falling deeply for Jason- much to your dismay. You knew Jason wasn’t ready for any kind of intense emotions, and that it would take a very long time before he was.

So you swallowed your emotions down, stifling them and hoping it would go away.

The two of you had developed a pleasant friendship, often bickering and joking around, with Jason teasing you about your obvious physical attraction to him.

He also now occasionally waited outside his cube for you to come back after patrol, never really venturing too far from it, and still avoiding contact with both Bruce and Dick. Only you and Alfred had the privilege to speak to him.

Even then, sometimes you would visit his room but only getting a “I’m not feeling it today. Please leave.”

Understandingly, you would nod silently and leave him alone. You knew he still had his bad days, sometimes not eating his meals.

But mostly, he was getting better, both mentally and physically.

With nothing much to do the whole day, Jason was now obsessed with working out and bulking up. He now had a few simple equipment in his room- mostly weights.

You figured that it was a coping mechanism for him, a healthy outlet to channel all his rage and negative emotions into.

But come on. He was getting even hotter and it was making it extremely difficult for you to stop yourself from checking him out, fantasizing about him when he wasn’t around. Still, you couldn’t complain. Even though he hadn’t reached Dick’s size yet, he was very near to it, and his naturally bigger body frame and build made up for the still developing muscles.

Hell, he was now sporting a six pack.

But you knew that he was still not as well as you hoped he would be. The bloodshot eyes he had was proof that he doesn’t sleep well- and you soon found out why.

It was a little past midnight on your night off from patrol, and you were using your break in the best way you could think of- by sleeping. Something woke you up that night.

A soft knock on your door.

You frowned, eyes still closed, wondering who it was.

Bruce would usually knock twice. Strong, clear, and with purpose. Dick would start pounding rapidly on your door, annoying you intentionally. Alfred would give three soft knocks followed by a ‘Miss?’

Your eyes flew open. There was only one other person in the manor.

Throwing your covers aside, you jumped out of bed and rushed to the door to open it.

Jason stood outside your door in the dim lights of the hallway, frowning and running his fingers nervously through his messy dark hair. He was wearing a t-shirt with boxers, standing awkwardly.

“Jason?” you hated how your voice sounded so sleepy. You cleared your throat. “Are you okay? Would you like to come in?”

He nodded silently, and you made way for him to enter before closing the door behind you.

“Sit on the bed,” you told him while jumping back into yours, sitting up cross legged.

The bed dipped when he sat on it, copying your motion and crossed his legs.

You waited for him to say something, your eyes straining to catch his in the dark. But he just remained silent, staring into space and avoiding your eyes.

“How did you know this was my room?” you asked, starting with a light topic.

“Only one that was locked. I already know where everyone else sleeps,” he explained.

“That’s right,” you realised, “I tend to forget that you’re probably even more familiar with the manor than I am.”

“Did you know there’s an old dumbwaiter in Bruce’s room?” you saw him smirk from the shadows that was casted on his face, “I used to hide in there, waiting to catch him off guard.”

“What? Why?”

“Dick and I, we had a bet,” he recalled the memory, “Whoever gets to surprise Bruce first would owe the other a special favor. Only rule was that we had to have it on video as proof.”

You appreciated that moment, the first time he ever spoke about both Dick and Bruce as a fond memory.

“I won, by the way,” he continued, “But- I forgot to press record on my phone.”

“Oh, no,” you groaned for him.

“Yeah, and Dick refused to believe me,” he chuckled, “That old man didn’t want to admit it either. But I swear- the look on his face when I jumped out while he and some model were going at it- priceless.”

Your jaw dropped, and then you burst into a fit of laughter, tears filling your eyes.

“You- you- you jumped out on him while he was having sex?!” you squealed.

“Yeah,” he grinned, “I didn’t even care that it sort of scarred me, because I managed to catch Batman off guard.”

The both of you laughed, his deep voice mingling with your own on that quiet night.

“I’m glad you’re here, Jason,” you smiled warmly at him.

But then, his smile fell.

“I hate my name now.”

“I’m sorry,” you began, “You said it was okay to call you that, so I-”

“No, it’s fine,” he started running his fingers through his hair again, “It’s just- I don’t know.”

“You can tell me anything,” you reassured, “It won’t leave this room. I promise.”

He looked at you, worry in his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Yeah.”

You waited for him to begin.

He took a deep breath. “I’ve been having nightmares. Almost every night. It’s always the same one.”

“You want to tell me about it?” you prompted him after waiting for him to continue.

“I hate my name because he said it a lot. Joker,” he scowled, “After repeatedly burning my skin for my name, it’s like that’s all he said. In that annoying, high pitched, sing-song voice of his. Jason, Jason, Jason. It made me hate my name. It made me hate hearing it.”

“I- I didn’t know how much time passed when I was in there,” he continued, “But, fuck. It was- it was hell. And the worst part was that I kept on waiting for Bruce. Waiting and hoping for him to find me and save me. I was so desperate. You- I-”

He choked on his words. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips tight.

You wanted to reach out to him, hug him, tell him that everything was okay now. But you didn’t. You waited for him to collect himself so he could finish telling you his story, just like how he wanted to.

“Anyway, I- despite all that,” he sighed, “That was the only thing that kept me sane. I kept on clinging onto the hope that he was out there, searching. And that helped for a while. Until- until that happened.”

He was breathing heavily now, fidgeting more. Jason was definitely getting increasingly agitated the deeper he went.

“Fuck,” he breathed, “Fuck.”

The moment you realised he was crying was when he let out a sniffle. You automatically took his hand in yours, squeezing it as a form of comfort.

“It’s okay,” you told him, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”

“No,” he shook his head, “I need to. I have to. I can’t take this anymore. Keeping everything in, I feel like I’m about to fucking explode.”

“Okay, then take it slow,” you said, “No rush. Anytime you’re ready.”

He nodded, eyes still closed, as if he was afraid of letting you see him cry.

“One night,” he began, “I think- I don’t know what was different- but I think something went wrong for him. Or right? That’s how it was. Tormenting me was fun, but it was also an outlet for him. But at the same time when he was happy, he also tortured me. He came to me, and- injected me with some sort of drug. That never happened before. He made sure that my head was clear whenever he hurt me so that I could feel everything he did.”

“But- he did- and- immediately, I felt weak,” he continued, “I mean, I was already weak. But my head. It was cloudy. I remember everything clearly, but it was like my brain couldn’t process it, couldn’t communicate with my body. I felt like I was looking out through a window that was my eyes- like I was in someone else’s body, experiencing someone else’s moments.”

“He released me,” Jason’s voice was now barely a whisper. “He released me from the ropes, and I fell to the floor. And then he- he- fuck.”

He let go of your hand and started pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth on your bed. He was sobbing now, his shoulders jerking up in sharp intakes of breaths. The only thing you could do was to stay silent and hold back your own tears.

You rested your hand on his knee, giving him a textile connection with reality so he doesn’t fall into his own thoughts.

“You- he- he- ruh- ruhp-”

Your heart sank to your stomach in horror as you realised what Jason was trying to say. It was as if you were plunged into icy water, chills running down your spine at the true revelation of what he had gone through in that cursed cell.

“Oh, no,” you breathed.

“He pushed me down,” he choked, “Pushed me down and climbed on top. I- I couldn’t even fight him. I was- I was conscious the whole time and I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t fucking do anything.”

Your tears were falling down now, both at the sight of Jason looking so vulnerable and fragile, and at his confession. Not being able to help yourself, you threw your arms over his neck and crashed into his hard body, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

His arms immediately wrapped around you, clutching you so hard it was painful as he buried his own face into your shoulder.

“And he kept on saying my name,” he said in muffled cries, “Jason, Jason, Jason. The whole fucking time. And- and I knew. He didn’t do it for pleasure. He did it to torment me. He- he didn’t even- he didn’t even finish.”

Jason sobbed into your skin for the next few minutes, his tears soaking through your night shirt. “But I did. Even though it was painful. Fuck, the pain was worse than anything he had ever done to me before. But- he- I- I fucking came.”

The both of you were sobbing now, his ragged breaths mingling together with your own on that quiet night.

His grip on you was tight, as if he thought that if he let go, you would disappear. So he clung onto you with all his might to keep you there with him as he recalled the horrific events.

“That's what broke me. I was so disgusted with myself. I hated myself. And he- he saw everything and- and laughed. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to choke and die. I’ve never seen him laugh like that. And I remember every single fucking moment of being helpless on that fucking floor while he- fuck. Fuck.”

“And then he left. He left me on the floor bleeding and I never saw him again. And I went fucking insane. I tried to kill myself so many fucking times. So many times, I lost count. That’s what I dream about every night. His laughs, and his ‘Jason, Jason, Jason’.”

And that was that. That was the story.

The end of Jason Todd.

The both of you cried long and hard that night in each other’s arms. Eventually, you both lied down on the pillows together, underneath the covers.

“Please don’t tell Bruce,” he whispered to you.

Your head was on his chest, his big arms wrapped around your waist, your legs tangled with his.

You smiled at that. Even with the trauma, even with the sense of abandonment he felt, he still wanted to protect Bruce from knowing the truth.

Because the both of you knew that the truth would kill him.

“I promise,” you whispered back.

And then the both of you fell asleep together.

***

“Has Jason been sleeping in your room with you?” Bruce asked you on one fine Saturday morning at breakfast.

It had been about a week and a half since the first time Jason knocked on your door and poured out his feelings to you.

“He gets nightmares,” you tried to explain.

He thought that if he told you everything, the nightmares would stop. But it didn’t. But he then realised that the only thing that made it better was sleeping by your side, having someone there to wake him up from living his own hell in a loop.

“And do the two of you… Just sleep?” Bruce frowned.

“Yes!” you widen your eyes in horror at the insinuation. “Bruce! Come on!”

“I know you have feelings for him, and I’m sure he does for you as well. But I don’t think something like that is what Jason needs right now,” he stated.

“Yes, I know!” you groaned at the thought having that kind of conversation with him, “Jesus, Bruce. I know. I’m just there to wake him up or help him fall back asleep. Nothing more.”

Bruce nodded, deep in thought. “Has he… told you? About what happened?”

You pursed your lips. “Yes.”

“You’re not going to tell me?”

“No.”

“Hmm,” his frown went deeper. “I understand. He will tell me when he is ready.”

“Exactly,” you smiled, hiding the fact that Jason may never tell Bruce what happened. Never the full story.

“He still hasn’t left the manor?”

“No,” you sighed, “I asked him if he wanted some fresh air. Just outside the main door, not even going down the steps. But he refused. Told me to, and I quote, ‘Fuck off’.”

“Well, he’s only just left the cave, and it’s just to your room,” Bruce thought out loud, “It’s still progress. Especially since he’s been talking to you about the past.”

“He only spoke about it one time,” you said, “And then never again.”

“I see,” he hummed, “And you’re okay with him sleeping with you?”

“Next to me, Bruce, sleeping next to me,” you corrected.

“Yes, and you’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, it’s all good,” you assured him, “I can kick him out any time I want- but I don’t want to. He looks like a lost puppy sometimes.”

“An angry lost puppy.”

You chuckled at that and couldn’t agree more.

*** While Jason got the sleep he needed when he was next to you, it was counterproductive on your end. You had never been with anyone before, and definitely had not slept on the same bed with another man.

So to feel his body heat and breaths against your skin, his occasional light snores, it made your mind go on hyperdrive.

Most of the time, the two of you would just lie down, your back against his front, or your backs against each other, or both on your backs just staring at the ceiling- and talked. You would be the one talking the most, of course, about anything you could think of. You would tell him about your day, your patrols, something you read about online, or the current news.

But that one particular night during week three of him sleeping next to you, the two of you were silent. It wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but the kind of silence that was pleasant and was better described as a peaceful quiet.

You had your back pressed against his front and his arm was lazily draped over your waist. It was a cold night, and you were wearing just a tank top and pyjama shorts, snuggling under the covers that went up all the way to your nose.

Shifting a bit while snuggling comfortably, you pressed yourself against Jason’s body to get more of his heat. But then, you were met with something poking against your lower back.

“Ngh, please ignore that,” Jason huffed.

Oh.

For some reason, you forgot that Jason was a physically healthy male who was capable of having sexual thoughts and feelings. All this while, you thought you were the only one.

“Are you- uh- is that- uh-” you stuttered, feeling your face flush with heat.

Feeling your body suddenly alert with excitement.

“Yes, it’s my fucking penis,” he grit almost angrily, “What, never heard of an erection before?”

“Of course I have!” you argued rather defensively, “It’s just- I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“Why?” he demanded, “You didn’t think I could get it up or something?”

“No, of course not!” you denied, “It just didn’t cross my mind, that’s all.”

A pause. Then-

“Well,” he sighed, “You wouldn’t have been wrong.”

Your mind blanked for a second.

“What do you mean?” you asked softly.

“It’s my- fuck- it’s my first time,” he confessed.

“Your first time getting an erection?” you gasped.

“No, you idiot,” he snapped, “It’s my first time getting hard since… since… then.”

Oh. Oh, you were an idiot.

“It’s just- after that- even when I was downstairs, alone and safe, I- I couldn’t,” he told you, “I kept on thinking back to that time and- and I couldn’t. I found it disgusting.”

And immediately, like someone doused you in cold water, any feeling of horniness you had when you first felt his erection against you disappeared. You just felt so sad for him, but also angry. Angry that he had to go through all of that, and angrier that there was nothing you could do about it.

“So, why do you think you’re getting it now?” you asked. Perhaps talking about it in an objective manner would help guide him through his thought process.

“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, “You’re fucking pressing your ass against my dick, what did you think would happen?”

“Wait, what?” your eyes widen, “You’re hard because of me?”

“No shit,” he said, “You’re hardly wearing any clothes, too.”

You shouldn’t feel happy due to the circumstance and context, but there you were ecstatic that he found you attractive enough to pop a boner after so long.

“Fuck,” he sighed, suddenly pressing himself closer to you.

His hand that draped over your waist when to actually grip it. Then, then, he grinded his hard on against your ass.

“Mmm,” he rumbled deeply, “Feels good.”

There. That was it. You were once again flooded with the feeling of heat that pooled at your stomach, a tingling sensation started at your core. Feeling hot despite the low temperature of the night, you clenched your thighs together, needing the slight pressure.

“Yeah?” you whispered.

“Yeah,” he grinded on you again, and then unexpectedly let out a chuckle.

“What is it?” you smiled, loving it whenever you heard him laugh.

“I thought… For the longest time, I thought I was broken. That he broke me,” he revealed, “I thought I needed to get all Wingardium Leviosa on this little fucker.”

“Oh my God,” you laughed and groaned at the same time, “You’re so fucking embarassing.”

He laughed along with you and continued. “But now I’m hard and- and horny. You made me feel like I’m normal again. Like I’m sixteen again, and getting horny over everything.”

Sometimes, we take the normal things for granted. Food, shelter, clothes. In this case, it was a goddamned boner. In a way, Jason’s erection was symbolic- however funny it sounded. Getting your sexual appetite and need back after being so traumatised was a massive leap for many people who had experienced the same thing.

It meant that Jason was healing well.

“Does that make you happy?” you asked.

“Not particularly,” he admitted, “But I’m definitely not sad either.”

“That’s good enough for now, then,” you beamed.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

Another few moments of silence. You could feel it, his cock pushing into you. However tempted you were to push back and grind, you held yourself still.

“Uh, Jason?” you voiced.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to like, take care of it?” you asked, “I mean. My bathroom is available. Or- there are many empty rooms.”

“No,” he simply stated.

“No?”

“No.”

“It’s kinda poking into me.”

“Just ignore it.”

“Ignore it?” you gaped, “How can I ignore it? You’re literally pressing it into my ass.”

“Well, then do you want to take care of it?” he teased.

You couldn’t argue back. “Fine, I’ll ignore it.”

He chuckled. “I’ll turn around.”

When he made the movement, you suddenly grabbed him by the wrist. “No, it’s fine. Stay here.”

You expected him to tease you like he usually would, make a crass comment, or even a ‘fuck off’.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around you again in silence, and the both of you drifted to sleep.

***

“Do you think this color suits me?” Natalie asked, holding up a floral red dress.

The four of you were at the mall in Diamond District. Now that high school was over, and everyone would be going off to separate colleges in a few months, you tried to spend time with each other as much as you could.

“Any color suits you, Nat,” you rolled your eyes, “You’re hot stuff.”

“Jesus, it’s like you’re shoving it in our faces at this point,” Sarah added, flipping her brunette hair to the side, tight curls flowing down.

“Aw, you guys,” Nat pretended to tear up, “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!”

“Not again,” Alex groaned, “We’ve been through this so many times.”

“I’m gonna be so miserable without you guys,” Natalie continued on, ignoring Alex’s interruption.

“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged, “I think I’d enjoy New York. I can have pizza parties with the rats in my overpriced apartment.”

You chuckled at Sarah’s joke. Everyone was leaving Gotham except you. Deciding to continue with Robin, you opted for Gotham University- prestigious, old, and most importantly, close to home.

Your phone dinged in your pocket. You opened it to find texts from Dick.

Dick: OH MY GOD. Dick: I’m at the Manor. Dick: Was going to the Cave gym to work out. Dick: AND Dick: JASON IS HERE!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!

That was new. Jason would usually just use whatever basic equipment he had in his room to work out. The fact that he was at the Cave’s sparring area where all the other fancier work out equipment were was out of the ordinary.

You: Just go. See if he reacts. If he suddenly stiffens and just stay there not doing anything, then leave. If he continues on, then it’s okay to stay- but don’t initiate anything! Dick: OKOKOK

You waited anxiously for Dick’s update. All four of you were now walking towards the food court, but you hardly listened to their bickering. Forty-five minutes passed before Dick texted you again.

Dick: OMG HE TALKED TO ME You: What did he say? Dick: He asked me to pass him his towel. You: That’s all he said? Dick: IT’S PROGRESS OKAY!!

Dick was right. It meant that Dick was now the third person Jason had spoken to. Adding another person to his list of contacts was definitely progress.

You were happy for him.

You:Is he still there? Dick: Nah he left Dick: But WOW he’s looking good. He must have been really going at it. I think he might get bigger than me soon You: All he does now is work out. He’s obsessed. Dick: Yeah I can tell

You decided to leave it at that for now and try to concentrate on your friends, but Dick sent another message.

Dick: ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX?!?!

You spat out your drink, earning weird looks from everyone.

You: DICK!!!! WTF NO!!

Dick never replied.

***

“Can I ask you for a favor?” Jason asked, his voice breaking the silence of your dark room. The two of you were on your bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling.

“Of course,” you said. It didn’t matter to you what Jason asks for. He hardly ever asked for anything.

“Could you… Take me out tomorrow?” he requested, “If you’re not doing anything else, that is.”

“Uh, sure!” you nodded, surprised. “Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere,” he shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, okay,” you hesitated, “But- are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to go so far so quickly. Maybe you should start with just going to the backyard?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “I’m not a kid.”

“Okay then,” you agreed. “Tomorrow.”

You kept on glancing anxiously at him the next day as he climbed into the passenger seat of your car. He was quiet, but looked perfectly fine.

Switching the engine on, you drove out of the garage and out the large automatic gates. Trees soon surrounded the lonely road on both sides as you descended downhill into town.

“So where are we going?” he asked.

“I thought Robinson Park would be nice,” you said. It was around three in the afternoon, yet Gotham was dark as though the day was ending. It was cloudy, skies grey and wind blowing.

“You’re taking me to a park?” he scoffed.

“It’s more quiet than anywhere else,” you reasoned with him, “Less people. Spacious. Lots of greenery.”

“Whatever.”

Reaching the parking space of the park, you noticed that there were a few cars. Mothers and nannies liked to bring children out to the park around that time. Joggers and teens, college students and retired elderly seeking a little escape from the high rise buildings of concrete and glass.

You turned the engine off and proceeded to open the door, only then noticing Jason stiffening. Looking over to him, you saw that his eyebrows were pulled down in a deep frown, his jaw clenched, his hands in fists on his knees.

You didn’t say anything or make any comment. Leaning back into your seat, you waited until Jason was ready.

About five minutes passed before he took a deep breath, gave you a nod, and then opened his door.

The two of you walked along a path at the park, going deeper inside and further away from your car. There were a few joggers around, some tourists, and some teens taking photos. You saw a group of kids in the distance playing frisbee, and the others were walking their dogs.

An empty bench stood in the middle of the park, overlooking a clearing. You headed there, Jason following closely behind.

“It’s a bit gloomy today,” you pouted, “As if Gotham could be anything other than that, of course.”

You looked at Jason.

He looked like a scared dog being brought out for the first time.

His jittery knees were bouncing rapidly, his wide eyes were darting at every movement, his forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his breathing was heavy.

“Woah, woah,” you reached out to him, putting an arm on his back. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just listen to me talk, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he gulped.

“Try to calm your breathing,” you instructed, “Deep breaths, Jason. In… out… In… Out… Yeah, see that’s great.”

“Yeah,” he breathed, now calmer. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled warmly, “You’re doing just fine.”

“No, I’m not,” he strained, “I feel like everything is too big. Too vast. The fucking sky looks like it’s going to crash down on me and at the same time suck me up into a void.”

“And despite all you’re feeling right now, you’re not breaking down or anything, are you?” you tried, “You’re okay, Jason. This is progress.”

“I guess,” he sighed, “I’m just- I’m so used to having four walls and a ceiling. Now everything feels too big.”

“I understand,” you empathized, “Whenever you want to go back, just say the word. Or we can even just go and sit in the car. No problem.”

“Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” he stood up.

The walk back to the car was faster.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking pathetic,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.

“No, you’re not,” you reassured him, “That was great, Jason. Come on, it was your first time outside in two years and a half. Cut yourself some slack.”

“I’m so fucking broken,” he choked.

“Don’t say that,” you scolded, “You’re not broken. And you know what, even if you think you are, we can always fix it. Baby steps. Maybe we can do this once a week. We were out for like, ten minutes? Next week we’ll try fifteen. How’s that sound?”

“Twice a week,” he stated, “I just want to be normal again.”

“Okay, twice a week, then,” you agreed, “We’ll try again in a couple of days, okay?”

“Okay,” he paused, “Thank you.”

“No problemo,” you grinned, “Would you like to stay here a bit longer or shall we go back?”

“Let’s go back.”

“Wanna stop by the diner? You can wait in the car while I ask for a take-away?”

“...okay.”

***

Jason and you had gone out twice more. Once three days after the first time, and the other a week later. The second time he went out, he lasted twenty minutes, though you were sure he was being stubborn on his part. He looked like he was having a heart attack, but he insisted on staying until he hit the twenty minute mark.

The third time, he was much much better. Surprisingly so. The two of you sat down on that bench for half an hour, with you even leaving him alone for a few minutes to get two ice cream cones.

After that, you took him for a drive around the city. He seemed to be more comfortable in the car, so you went all the way from Robinson Park to Diamond District, and back to the manor.

Bruce seemed very pleased with your update, and you swore you could see him actually smile.

“Thank you,” he had told you. “You’ve done more than I could have ever asked of you.”

“It’s no problem, Bruce. Really,” you reassured him.

“I’m his father. He is my responsibility. It’s my fault he’s even in that state. I wish I could do more for him,” he said solemnly.

“The fact that you understand what he needs is more than helpful, Bruce,” you smiled, “Not many parents can do that. You understand and respect him. That’s enough for now.”

He simply nodded.

Ever since your scheduled outings, Jason had become more and more relaxed whenever he was in the manor. He now walked to the kitchen on occasion to mess with Alfred while he cooked meals for him, sometimes sitting in the living room lounging on the couch while reading. Most of the time, though, he was down at the sparring zone of the Cave, working out.

But at night, he would never fail to knock on your door.

And at that particular night, you found yourself in the same situation again while lying down on your side with your back to his front, for the fifth time.

“You officially have to stop calling yourself broken,” you grumbled, “Because that thing poking into my ass is definitely not broken.”

He chuckled lowly. “You complaining, sweetheart?”

Oh, and yes. Jason now had started calling you ‘sweetheart’. Why? You had no clue. It was just a thing that happened. The look on your face when he first slipped it in was probably a sight to behold.

“No shit, I’m complaining, Jason,” you groaned, “You haven’t jerked off, yet? Not even once?”

“Nope,” he popped the P, “I just… I don’t want to… I don’t want to come.”

You sighed, understanding the situation. He had been disgusted with himself because he had ejaculated when Joker… Well, that. You hated to even think about it, so you always shoved the thought away.

“But unfortunately for me, I still get super horny,” he rumbled deeply, pushing his hips into you even more, “So fucking horny.”

“And then I have to suffer,” you complained.

“I can assure you, blue balls are more painful than something poking into you,” he bickered.

“It’s not that…”

“Then?”

“I get horny too, come on man,” you whined, “I’m a hormonal teenage girl. What did you expect?”

“You get horny too?” he whispered after a pause.

“Uh, yeah,” you admitted nervously. Somehow, the mood shifted, and your heart started drumming against your chest.

“Because of me?” he asked.

“Not you specifically, I mean,” you tried to back track, “You’re… Your dick pressing up against me like that, I mean, come on, Jason.”

“Simple question sweetheart,” he told you, “You get horny because of me, yes or no?”

You gulped. “Yes.”

Fuck, why did you say yes? You could have lied. You could have not answered.

“Yeah?” he breathed. You noticed that his hand was now on your hip, right above the waistband of your sleeping shorts, drawing circles onto your skin with his thumb.

You were nervous. The butterflies in your tummy was not helping you calm down.

“Yeah,” you squeezed your eyes shut, as if to protect yourself from anything he had to say.

“Fuck,” he groaned, gripping your hips and grinding his hard on against your ass even more. And did it… Fuck, did it get even harder?

Afraid of saying the wrong thing, and also out of nervousness, you remained silent. Jason’s chest rose and fall against your back, his respiratory rate increasing. His pinky finger slid underneath the waistband, testing the waters before slowly slipping his hand into your pants.

He went in so slowly, as if waiting for you to tell him no, to rip his hand away, to wrench yourself away from him. But you never did, so he went in deeper, caressing the skin beneath your pelvic bone, his heat just burning into you.

“You’re not wearing any underwear,” he commented, voice suddenly husky.

“I don’t wear them to bed,” you informed him.

“You mean to tell me,” he growled, “That all this while I’ve been sleeping next to you and you never had your panties on?”

“It’s more comfortable that way,” you mumbled.

“Jesus Christ,” he cursed. “Thank God I never knew. Would have been torture, and trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

“Jason,” you gasped.

“It’s true,” he said, “Damn, sweetheart.”

He went lower, closer to your center.

Your core was tingly, small pulses of electricity buzzed through your body as Jason came closer and closer and closer and-

He slipped his hands between your closed thighs and cupped you.

“Mmm,” he moaned softly, “Warm. Fuzzy.”

“Fuzzy?” you laughed, even though you felt like screaming on the inside. Screaming for more.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, burying his face into your nape, taking a deep breath. “You smell nice.”

Oh, shit. You totally forgot about Jason’s aversion to strong smells.

“I’m sorry!” you quickly apologised, “I can switch to an unscented shampoo as well so it wouldn’t be too strong for you.”

“It’s fine,” he said, “I like it on you.”

He ground his hand into your center harder.

“Mmpf, Jay,” you breathed, “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’ve never touched a girl like this before.”

“Really?” you widen your eyes in surprise.

“I was kept in a cell for two years, I couldn’t exactly talk, let alone touch, anyone can I?” he quipped.

“Right.”

“Teach me,” he said.

“What?” you whispered despite knowing what he meant.

A pause of silence. A deep intake of breath, a slow exhale.

“Teach me how to touch you,” he purred.

Fuck, you felt like exploding.

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“Yes. If you… If you want to.”

Your mind quickly tried to analyse the situation. Bruce had specifically said that Jason didn’t need any complicated matters in the relationship. It made sense. You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason with any confusion or uncertainty.

But at the same time, you’ve been figuring out how Jason thought, bit by bit. He’s told you many times that he just wanted to be normal again, to feel normal, to do normal things. And this was something that was normal, that he should do, that he wanted to do.

And you knew that he probably would take the rejection even worse.

“O-Okay,” you agreed.

Slowly, you separated your thighs, raising the one on top and hooking it over his legs behind you. Due to your shift in position, you felt the minute Jason’s fingers dip slightly into your folds.

“So, uh, this is my first time with a guy as well,” you squeaked, “But I’ll try to guide you.”

You licked your lips.

“Uhm, well, I guess you can start by running a finger up and down between my- oh! Yes, just like that.”

His middle finger slid down to your opening, and then up again slowly. His movements were uncertain, brushing only slightly against your clit unintentionally.

It was different, having someone else touch you. Somehow, despite the inexperience, it just felt better.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped, “You’re so fucking wet. Do you usually get this wet?”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “No? Yes? I don’t know! I can’t feel it.”

“Shit.”

You let him play with you some more, his fingers sliding up and down, sometimes pressing against your fleshy parts, sometimes circling and gathering your wetness, sometimes just parting your lips. Hell, he even tapped the tips of his fingers on you randomly or brushed into your delicate fuzz. You knew he was just exploring, feeling you for the first time.

And that thought made you smile and sigh.

“Teach me how to make you feel good,” he rasped.

“Uh, so your fingers are wet, right?”

“Yeah. Because you’re leaking all over them.”

“Okay, good. Now find my clit. It’s slightly above your finger, okay, to the left a bit. More. Okay, there! Yeah, right there,” you sighed, finally feeling that delicious pressure.

“Here?”

He tapped your clit.

“Ah!” you moaned, “Yes- but don’t just- nevermind, just gently circle it. Clockwise.”

He obeyed, and hell since when did Jason just obey?

He circled you gently, like you said. But he also went so, so slow.

“Faster, Jay,” you panted.

He went faster, making you groan in pleasure.

“Like this, sweetheart?” he muttered, his voice low and cracking, and sexy, and husky. You’ve never heard him sound like that before, and it drove you wild.

“Yeah,” you breathed, “Yeah, just like that. Fuck.”

“Feel good?”

“So good, Jay. Press a little harder now- fuck. Fuck. Yes, perfect. Just like that.”

The pressure built as his fingers did their magic.

“You- you’re surprisingly good at that,” you stuttered, “You sure- mmm- you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“Despite what you think,” he husked in your ear, warm breath tickling you. “I’m very good at following instructions.”

“I can see that.”

“But I’m also good at improvising.”

“Wha- oh. Oh. Fuck! Jason! Oh my fucking god!”

He started pressing even harder, and going even faster, throwing away the slow build you were going for and instead pushing you towards orgasm fast and hard, as if he was determined to prove something to you.

“Feel good, sweetheart?” he purred, “You gonna come soon?”

“Oh my- fuck, yes! Fuck, don’t stop!”

“You want to come for me?” his deep voice rumbled.

“Yes!”

What the hell? When did he learn how to talk like that?

Because with the mix of his heavy pants, his low voice coaxing you, his barrage of pleasure at your clit, you felt the familiar tightening of your core. You threw one hand back and found his hair. Running your fingers through them, you gripped them tight and pulled.

You pulled on his hair as he forced the orgasm onto you.

“Oh my God. Jason, I’m gonna- fuck- I’m- fuck- ah!”

You moaned loudly as you felt your walls flutter, clenching over nothing as you reached your high.

“O-okay, stop, fuck,” your hand went from his hair to his wrist, stilling him. He withdrew his hands from your pants, and went to grip you tight again by the waist.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he groaned, grinding into you. You pushed your ass back, feeling his hardened length against your flesh in your post-orgasm bliss. “Jesus, that was so hot.”

“That was- yeah,” you giggled, “Fuck.”

His face was still buried in your neck. You could feel his lips on your skin.

“Uhm, I can, you know,” you sputtered, “Try to help you out?”

“It’s fine,” he breathed, body still tight against yours, “Just go to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” you asked again, feeling guilty that he didn’t get off. “I don’t mind.”

“I do,” he said, “It’s okay, sweetheart. That was great. I enjoyed that. I told you, I don’t want to come.”

“Okay,” you sighed.

“Go to bed.”

“Thank you, Jason.”

“Fuck, I’m so horny.”

“Jason,” you whined, “Really, I can help-”

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, “Goodnight.”

You pursed your lips.

“Goodnight.”

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 5 impressions

Previously: 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

Welcome to another installment of my Gochiusa BLOOM episode reviews. At the end of last episode Cocoa finds out about Chino’s intention to go to her school, so this episode opens with some sort of ceremony to celebrate this fact. Despite a reference to alcohol, this ceremony might seem innocent, but it actually has a dark connotation...

First off, Cocoa is asking if everyone is holding a sakazuki. Sakazuki is a special traditional sake cup, which was apparently so important that it even has its own kanji  盃. A real sakazuki is actually more like a saucer than a cup, and holds very little alcohol. The girls are holding regular coffee cups, while pretending they are sakazuki. But what is the importance of sakazuki here?

The hint comes from Chiya’s description of the ceremony: 義兄弟の盃 (gikyodai no sakazuki) which literally translates as “sake cup of sworn brothers”, though kyodai can be used for siblings of any gender. The origin of this type of ceremony lies in Chinese 14th century novel Romance of Three Kingdoms, where the so-called Oath of the Peach Garden has transpired between three major characters. However in modern times, this type of brotherhood ceremony is mainly used by organized crime syndicates known as yakuza. So what you’re supposed to be seeing in this scene is literally Chino being initiated into a gang. If you’re interested, here’s a video of gikyodai sakazuki ceremony of Yamaguchi-gumi, the largest yakuza organization.

The ceremony is interrupted by Aoyama Blue Mountain who somehow got behind the counter. Soon, Mate Rin comes in looking for her, but she’s already gone. Before this point I didn’t know yet what the part B of the episode will be about, but this intro definitely provides a hint about it. Rin also gives a business card to Chiya, but it’s a bit difficult to read. Thankfully, there’s a better shot of it later in the episode.

Cocoa remembers there’s a marathon tournament, and Chiya is horrified when she learns that it involves running. However Cocoa persuades her that as Chino’s recently sworn older sister and senior she should run the whole distance.

Chiya’s motivation for participation in marathon was changed compared to the manga, the chapter in question (vol.5 ch.7) opens with Cocoa and Chiya doing exercises during PE class (a scene sadly cut out from the anime) and has to deal with Chiya and Cocoa’s friendship bond. This is why Chiya wants to finish the race with Cocoa so badly.

Chiya starts training by herself to get ready for the marathon. The location where she trains (some sort of clearing being overlooked by a bridge) is quite interesting, as it also appears in season 1 episode 5 (where Cocoa and Chiya practice volleyball) and Sing For You OVA where Chino uses the same tire excercise as part of her special training.

Ironically Rize thinks one tire is “too far” for Chiya, but 5 tires is ok for Chino who was supposed to train her singing. Anyway it’s quite interesting how some locations in town stay consistent, I wonder if the staff has a detailed map of them.

Despite having muscle pain from training, Chiya shows her resolve to finish the race to Cocoa. In this speech she mentions the Whirlwind (旋風) from the title of the episode (”On that day I will make Ama Usa An whirlwind blow”). Interestingly, the title of this manga chapter 千の夜を走る風となる (”run 1000 nights to become the wind”) also mentions the wind.

Cocoa also wants to train, and justifies her ability to wake up early with a helpful diagram (which looks as if she’s born directly from bread). To be fair, her justification that bakers wake up early does make sense, and she didn’t seem to have a problem to wake up in time in Dear My Sister. However when staying in Rabbit House, she definitely tends to oversleep, which happened this time too.

Rize and Chiya start training without her, and start playing shiritori to keep Chiya’s spirit up. Honestly this game appears in pretty much every anime ever, so should I even bother to explain the rules? Anyway, Rize names sweets that she supposedly overate, while Chiya names stuff that would be normally served at Ama Usa. However after saying いちご大福 (strawberry rice cake) she continues even though it’s Rize’s turn, saying 黒豆寒天 (black soybean jelly). This ends in “ん” (n) which is a losing turn in shiritori, since no Japanese words start with ん. Nevertheless, Chiya continues listing off Ama Usa desserts and eventually just switches to advertisement mode. Rize compares her to senden car which is a decorated truck that you can find driving around Japanese cities while blasting advertisements really loudly.

Rize introduces her stamp card here (which is an upgrade over her previous motivation techniques, such as the schedule in Dear My Sister), which gives Chiya an idea for an Ama Usa An stamp card. The reward for completing it is 90 minutes of all-you-can-drink piping hot oshiruko, which is a kind of soup made from red beans. The fact that it’s very hot was for some reason omitted from the official English subs, even though that’s what makes the deal especially ridiculous.

Cocoa still wants to train, so she asks Sharo to run with her. However when the morning comes she still can’t wake up on time. When Sharo talks about Chiya taking up jogging there is a montage of Chiya training with Rize, but at this moment Sharo doesn’t know that Chiya trains with Rize, which is why she gets jealous when it is revealed later.

Sharo’s orange phone with the dangling teacup charm was previously seen for example in season 2 episode 7. The exact model is “Kyocera Honey Bee 201K” and as you can see it’s accurately drawn down to the small details.

This is another repeatedly used Gochiusa outdoors location, seen for example in season 1 episode 6 when Cocoa and Tippy meet Aoyama, and in season 2 OP in the shot with Tippy, Anko and Wildgeese. This is where Rize wants to persuade Chiya to continue training, but Chiya isn’t having it. In the manga this is where Rize pulls out her stamp card (almost filled out) to persuade her, but in anime version we never see how many stamps she acquired.

The marathon starts and we see some of Cocoa’s classmates from the previous episode running by. As expected, Cocoa ended up being less fit than Chiya and had to hold on to Chiya’s twintails to keep up. The manga doesn’t actually show them finishing the race, so watching whether Chiya would be able to cross the finish line was quite suspenseful.

After the race, Sharo is disappointed at being left out, but Rize invites her for special training right away. Rize seems to be interested in some triathlon competition and tried to invite Chiya earlier, but Chiya was scared off by the mere name “triathlon”. A triathlon competition features running, cycling and swimming. Sharo is actually better than Rize at swimming (see season 1 episode 8) and perhaps Cocoa is the best at cycling.

We never see how these two trained, but in the manga there’s an additional illustration at page 65 of volume 5 which shows how it may looked like.

Now the “carefree breeze” part of the episode starts, and it’s based on volume 6 chapter 3, making it the first chapter from volume 6 to be animated. Even though there are 9 chapters between part A and part B of this episode, in retrospect it makes a lot of sense that they were put together. For one, they feature a lot of running. And there are a lot of outdoor locations. Such as the park where Cocoa and Chiya meet off-duty Aoyama.

You might recognize it as the same park where Cocoa meets Aoyama for the first time in season 1 episode 6. In season 2 episode 8, Cocoa and Chiya also walk through this park when returning from school. 

Cocoa and Chiya think Aoyama is going on a date (this is more explicit in the manga) but it seems she doesn’t have anything to do and just dressed up nicely for the sake of it.

She wants to play tag, which in Japanese is called oni-gokko and oni (a demon) is the one who’s chasing the other players. The role of the demon is relegated to Mate Rin who comes to Rabbit House for the second time this episode to search for Aoyama. This time we get a better look at her business card.

The name of the publisher is Seironsha (生論社 - the first kanji is not visible here, but is visible in the manga). Usually publishing companies in Kirara series are parodies of Houbunsha but not this time. I couldn’t find the reason behind this name anywhere. There’s a word “Seiron” which means “sound reasoning” but it’s spelled with different kanji (正論). There’s also a publisher Rironsha (理論社) although it seems pretty obscure. Also a fun fact: Aoyama’s book Bakery Queen (seen in Dear My Sister OVA) had a different publisher 走兎舎 (”Soutosha”?) which means “running rabbit house”.

Rize, Chino and Rin form Shin-furimawasare-tai (“the new at-their-mercy corps”) which is a reference to season 2 episode 8, as well as a few character songs recorded by Rize, Chino and Sharo as Furimawasare-tai. It seems that Sharo is sidelined a lot in this episode...

Next there’s a montage of them unsuccessfully chasing Chiya, Cocoa and Aoyama, which shows off various locations in town. They are not necessarily just random spots. For example the stairs with the statue and the fountain are actually right next to each other, as can be seen in Dear My Sister.

Then they spot Aoyama riding a gondola (a somewhat fancier one than in the beginning of episode 3) and Tippy falls off Chino’s head. Which doesn’t happen nearly as often as you’d think it would. Last time (season 2 episode 6) it also involved boats...

Cocoa, Chiya and Aoyama make a pact to be caught together, but it falls apart rather quickly, as Cocoa gets lured by Chino. The scene of Cocoa being captured was quite expanded compared to the manga, with Chiya and Aoyama trying to discourage Cocoa from falling into the obvious trap, and then lamenting her “passing”. 

Despite the earlier pact to be caught at once, Aoyama and Chiya split up and Rize ends up chasing Chiya. This is where the marathon chapter is referenced, as the teacher ends up chasing the student. Chiya was able to keep up for a while, but hits the dead-end and surrenders to Rize.

Meanwhile Cocoa, Chino and Rin go to some sort of fair, where Sharo finally appears, performing as Phantom Thief Lapin. Rin, being a fan of Lapin comes closer and discovers Aoyama already sitting there, who seems to like Sharo a bit too much... 

I also wonder where did Tippy come from, because it didn’t seem like Aoyama carried him while running away earlier. Next we see the infamous rabbit carousel, which looks even weirder when CGI animated.

It’s evening now, but if you look back at Rize chasing Chiya scene it’s clear that the sun is already beginning to set by then, and the sky becomes darker in the Lapin scene. There are all sorts of colorful lights in the background, which creates a proper fairgrounds atmosphere.

The lighting gets even more fairytale-like as everyone gets on the carousel, with bokeh effect being created by all the lights at the fair. Interestingly, the word “bokeh” comes from Japanese where it means “blur”. This entire scene looks quite amazing with CGI and special effects blending in with 2d animation very well. I bet it used up more budget than the rest of the episode, but it was worth it.

One of the interesting shots here was this one, with Chiya riding alone and looking pensively at Rize and Sharo, which made me feel bad for her. At least in the manga version, Chiya was riding with Rin so she didn’t look as lonely.

Aoyama and Rin are reminiscing about their past, and there’s a flashback of Aoyama in high-school uniform thanking Master (Chino’s grandfather) for lending her a fountain pen (a callback to season 1 episode 9 where she loses this pen). Unbeknownst to her, Master is sitting right in her lap, as Tippy. Maybe if Aoyama kept track of when she hears Master’s voice and Tippy is around, she’d have figured it out by now...

Anyway, that was another great episode of Gochiusa BLOOM, and check in next week for my review of the next episode which is coming out this Saturday. Seems like it will have more rabbits than usual...