#pause any critical thinking and just enjoy it lol

[unacctmango]

What if Sidon could explore all the sky islands with link?

Design notes under the cut

I started this at least a year ago, I was enamored with the idea of sidlink exploring the the sky islands together <3

Partially was inspired by FaeWren's fic that I was (and am still) obsessed with that had a similar scene in it

All the lines n stuff were done in ink (with maybe a lot of white paint correction) and colored/edited digitally :)

I had to take MANY screenshots in game to get this looking okay-ish

That's it thanks for coming!

[3416]

haven't listened to the anthology yet, but i do think her music is suffering from the sheer quantity she's putting out while doing all this other stuff tbh. feels more like an overproduced electronic cashgrab than real layered music despite some tortured lyrics. like ttpd the first half has such a sameness to over half of it.... and that sameness is tied to midnights too imo. i really wish i could experience the joy of albums like 1989/folklore/evermore and def her country earlier stuff but. she can be a lyric writing machine (she needs someone to veto some of it thoughnfjdkfjd feels like no one can tell her no) but not lean on the exact same production style for this long bc it's kinda getting old to me and i really do enjoy so much of her discography like 😭😭😭 idk. i know swifties are just gonna eat up whatever she does, and i've always been in between the absolute worshipping crowd and the absolute hater crowd but some of the music/production part is so uninspired.

[hanlimz]

lol i wrote this at 2am bc i love jungwon sm and i needed to word vomit so i can focus on this stupid essay i have to write 💔 be gentle w this bc it’s not that good haha !! pls enjoy ❤️

the incessant ringing of your phone is a cacophony of sound pressed against your ear as you wait with bated breath. it’s been a week since jungwon was last able to call, a week since you were able to hear his voice; and, it’s been even longer since you’ve been able to touch him (in any capacity). your palms are itching for the opportunity to cup his face, and your lips are yearning to pepper gentle kisses over the apples of his rounded cheeks.

so, you picked up your phone and clicked on his silly contact photo. while you wait, you count the ceiling tiles. you see how long you can go without blinking. you lose track of time, and you eventually try to freestyle over the stock ringtone. just as you rhyme sublime with you’re mine, the noise stops and jungwon begins to laugh. why he always manages catches you at your worst—you will never know.

“i hope that rap was about me,” he snorts airily, amusement having stolen his breath away. you can almost see his pretty face through the phone; the way the corners of his lips quirk up, his dimple deepening, the gentle reshaping of his eyes as they wane into two, umber crescents. laughter is so transformative, and you’re glad you can see it (even if only in your mind). “oh, [y/n], also—i just posted some selcas on we—” the phone cuts out, and the momentary silence slices at your heart.

“won? you still there?” you ask, tentatively, “i promise the rap was about you. cross my heart, hope to die.”

jungwon’s pseudo-presence floods your chest once more as he chuckles. “that’s good to know, babe—but, no dying on my watch, ‘kay?”

“bold of you to say when you’ve left me here,” you scoff.

“to die?” he inquires, another bout of giggles hiding behind his words.

“to die,” you answer, dramatically. “to wither, to waste away with no boyfriend to sing me to sleep and kiss me when i’m sad.”

the line goes quiet for a few seconds, and it’s almost a comfortable silence. something lurks behind this pregnant pause, however, and you can’t help but feel stifled by the heavy weight building in your stomach. jungwon is overthinking—the feeling is palpable. he’s chewing on his bottom lip and you can almost taste his vanilla chapstick; the nail of his thumb is worn down to the quick in the same way he’s bitten at the inside of his cheek.

“jungwon, you know i’m just joking, right?” there’s a hint of regret lacing your voice, a tinge of melancholy, but it mixes with a resolute affirmation of your love for him. “i miss you, but i couldn’t be more proud of you. watching those clips of you on stage, seeing you enjoy yourself—it all makes me love you even more. you’re doing so well.”

“i know,” he sighs, sounding exceedingly dejected. “i just feel like i can’t give you what you need—like i can’t be who you deserve from this far away.”

your jaw goes slack upon hearing his confession. his words shock you to your core; strong-willed yet so fragile-hearted, why your lover is so critical of himself—you will never know. in your eyes, jungwon is nothing short of angelic; ethereal in a way only known by beings of the heavens, jungwon brightens every room he walks into and makes your day better by merely existing. he is a sanctuary of sorts—warm and inviting and gentle.

“are you insane?” the question tumbled from your mouth before your brain could formulate a better response.

he hums, inquisitively, “i don’t think so?”

“okay, not exactly how i wanted that to come out,” you concede, “but—seriously, won—you’re my everything. you never have to worry about me wanting more, because you’re already who i want. who i need. and, honestly, i don’t know what i did to deserve you.” you know he’s flushed on the other side of the phone, cupping a sweater paw over his face while trying not to giggle and swing his feet like a schoolgirl. “yang jungwon, i love you very much, and i’m always so, so thankful for you … so, tell your brain to stop beating you up, or i’ll kick its slimy, little ass.”

“thank you, [y/n]. i love you, too.” he laughs for a moment, then stops himself, “wait—did you just say my brain was little?!”

[goldfades]

✮ 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, nhl players

♡ ─ pairing(s) | quinn hughes x fem!reader, jack hughes x fem!reader, luke hughes x fem!reader, alex turcotte x fem!reader, trevor zegras x fem!reader

♡ ─ summary | types of kisses that i think these players would give!

♡ ─ warnings | kissing (obviously LOL), mention of migraines, mention of criticism/hate, just overall fluff lmk if i missed anything

♡ ─ taglist | tbd! check out link in navigation!

♡ ─ ev's notes | THIS WAS SO CUTE, i loved it. i remember reading something similar to this but i can't remember who wrote it, so if y'all know who just tell me so i can credit them lol. this was one of my favorite things to write, it was short and sweet just how i like it. if you guys want a part 2, let me know, maybe like umich players or more nhl players. anyways, enjoy!!!!

♡ quinn hughes kissing their injuries

when you two had first gotten together, it started as a little joke. anytime he'd get a little injury, even something as small as a paper-cut, you'd kiss it. and every single time, quinn's heart would melt. now, quinn relies on you to make him feel better even if it is a little joke. one day, you were struck by a painful migraine. the throbbing in your head was relentless, and you couldn't find any relief. you laid in bed, your entire head feeling like it weighed a million pounds and your eyes blurry. in that painful moment, quinn leaned down and placed a tender kiss on your temple. it was a gesture of love and empathy, his way of trying to alleviate your pain, just like you always did with him. as his lips touched your skin, you felt a wave of warmth wash over you. the pain, though still present, seemed to lose some of its intensity. but it wasn't just the relief from the migraine that struck you. it was the overwhelming feeling of love and care that quinn's kiss had conveyed, and in that moment you knew that you loved quinn more than anyone else in the world.

♡ jack hughes comforting kisses

in the world of constant criticism and hatred, jack felt like he couldn't find any comfort in anything anymore. that was until he met you. you were the embodiment of warmth and comfort to jack, every moment spent with you felt like a beacon of light in his otherwise gloomy existence. every interaction with you felt like a warm, inviting embrace, like a soft, cozy blanket on a chilly winter's night. and that was just your mere energy, your kisses felt were on a whole other playing-field. until he met you, kisses were just kisses but now they had the power to erase his worries, and to melt away the troubles that weighed on his heart. they weren't just physical gestures anymore; they were a testament to your love and care. they were a silent promise that, in your arms, he would always find solace and warmth. jack couldn't help but be captivated by the tenderness and affection that your kisses conveyed. in a world that often seemed devoid of kindness, your presence and affection became a lifeline for jack. you were the antidote to the poison of negativity that threatened to consume him. your love was the source of his strength, a sanctuary where he could find respite from the world's harshness.

♡ luke hughes first kisses

the first kiss between you and luke was a moment of pure innocence and wholesomeness, filled with a deep sense of care and affection. it was a memory that would forever be etched in both of your hearts that set the mood for the rest of your relationship. it happened on a warm summer evening at the lake house before you both left for college. as the sun dipped below the lake, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. you had been spending time together, talking and laughing, sharing stories and dreams. the conversation flowed effortlessly but then there was a gentle pause, a moment of unspoken understanding between you. the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you standing there, bathed in the soft, golden glow of the setting sun. with a shy smile, luke reached out, his hand brushing against yours, fingers interlocking in a tender embrace. it was a simple gesture, yet it spoke volumes of the affection that had already begun to grow between you. your heart raced as you met his gaze, eyes locking in a shared moment of vulnerability and anticipation. the world seemed to hold its breath as you leaned in, your lips drawing closer to his, guided by an unspoken desire. when your lips finally met, it was a soft and gentle kiss, filled with all the sweetness of a first touch. it was a kiss that spoke of trust and tenderness, a promise of something beautiful blooming between you. as your lips lingered against his, you could feel the warmth of his smile, a silent affirmation of the connection you both felt. it was a kiss that held the promise of many more to come.

♡ alex turcotte accidental kisses

it was obvious, alex was head over heels for you. the way he talked to you, the way his eyes lit up when you talked to him, the way he talked about you ─ it was painfully obvious to everyone who knew alex. when he talked to you, his voice would soften, becoming a gentle, tone that was reserved only for you. he listened intently to your words, hanging on to every syllable as if they were precious secrets meant only for him. it was as though the world faded into the background when he engaged in conversation with you, his undivided attention focused solely on you. but it wasn't just in the way he spoke; it was also in the way he looked at you. his eyes lit up with an unmistakable brightness whenever you entered the room or caught his gaze. it was a look of genuine adoration, as if he couldn't believe his luck to have you in his life. your presence had the power to brighten his day, and it was evident in the warmth that radiated from his gaze. one day, you two hung out alone in your apartment to watch harry potter, who was your favorite series (which also happened to be his, too). as the rain tapped gently on your windowpane, you and alex curled up on the couch, surrounded by an array of blankets and pillows. the soft glow of the TV illuminated the room as the opening notes of the harry potter theme music filled the air. it was a familiar and comforting sound, setting the perfect mood. then, as you reached behind him to get the remote, alex thought you were leaning in for a kiss. he immediately started to freak out but he leaned in and kissed you, too. as he leaned away and he took a look at the confused look in your eyes, panic set in as he realized he might have misread the situation. what if you were just reaching for the remote? what if he was about to make a complete fool of himself? you instantly let out a soft laugh which somehow, made his anxiety worse. but then you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him again, a sweeter kiss than the one before. in that moment, the doubts and fears that had plagued him faded away, replaced by the warmth and certainty of your affection. this second kiss was different from the first. it was softer, sweeter, and filled with an undeniable warmth. it was a kiss that erased any lingering doubts and replaced them with a newfound sense of connection and affection. it was a kiss that told alex everything he needed to know. when you eventually pulled away, your eyes met his, mirroring the newfound clarity in your connection. no words were necessary to articulate what had just transpired between you both.

♡ trevor zegras angry kisses

you and trevor were stubborn which meant every argument was terrible. your unwavering determination was part of what drew you to each other, but it also meant that neither of you was willing to back down easily. at first, it might seem like a manageable fight, but as your stubbornness came into play, the situation would quickly escalate. voices would rise, and tempers would flare. each of you was convinced of your own viewpoint, and neither was willing to yield. the arguments would become intense, filled with impassioned words, and sometimes even hurtful accusations. arguments with trevor could be exhausting and emotionally draining, but they were also a testament to the passion and love that existed between you. neither of you could stand to see the other upset, which often led to passionate reconciliations after the storm of an argument had passed. and after every single fight, no matter how bad it was, trevor would always be the one to budge to everyone's surprise. he never wanted to lose you so even in the worst of both of your moments, he always was willing to compromise his ego for the wellbeing of your relationship. and after every single fight, he'd give you a kiss to mend things with the both of you. it was a sweet and passionate kiss. each time his lips met yours in that tender, passionate kiss, it was a silent promise that he would do whatever it took to keep your relationship strong and thriving. it was a way of saying, "i love you, and i'm sorry," without needing words.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[caffeinetheif]

Bit of an odd request to make. Could I request the seven brothers with an s/o that likes plushies?

Of course! As a fellow plush enthusiast, I don’t find this request odd at all ❤️ I decided to write a short blurb with headcanons for each brother. Hope you enjoy!

P.S. I had the hardest time writing for Satan and Levi. I apologise in advance for Satan and Levi lovers lol. And Shoutout to my bestie for helping me come up with ideas <3 love u babe

The Demon Brothers with an S/O that Has Plushies

GN! MC/Reader

Lucifer:

He’d probably be the most critical of the brothers

He would most likely give you a long winded lecture on spending habits

Though, after seeing how happy they make you, he might be more open to it.

“MC, what is the reason for all of... these?” Lucifer asks, holding up one of your many plushies. You should have seen this coming. He is the eldest brother after all, it’s like it’s his job to scrutinize everything. 

You roll your eyes before answering, “They remind me of home, in a way. Do really need a reason to have them?”

Lucifer pauses and thinks for a moment before gently returning the plushy to its original spot. “I suppose they don’t need a reason, as long as you’re happy.”

Mammon

He can’t help but think of the price tags on your more collectable or hard to find plushies, but don’t worry about him selling them.

In all honesty, I think he’d enjoy having an excuse to shower you in gifts

For special occasions, he’d try to find some of the hard to find plushies in the Devildom as a surprise for you

“Oi, MC! I gotcha somethin’.” 

You barely look up from your DDD before a shopping bag lands on your lap. You look up at Mammon with a confused look. It’s normal for him to get you things out of the blue, but they’re normally much smaller than the one currently on your legs.

You reach into the bag and pull out the contents. A soft, purple plush sheep sits in your hands. You can’t help the large grin that settles on your face as you examine the adorable sheep. 

Leviathan

He would have a problem with your plushies, but not for the reason you think. He loves their cuteness, but hates that they take your attention away from him.

Almost sees them as competition, but he won’t tell you that

However, he’s the most understanding about your collection. Afterall, look at how much Ruri-chan merch he has.

“MC, pay attention to me!”

“Levi, you were in the middle of a game. I wasn’t going to interupt you because I wanted to cuddle.”

“But I’m not gaming anymore,” Leviathan pouts.

You laugh at his attempt at a begging face and give in, ditching your plush cuddle buddy in favor of opening your arms for your purple haired lover. He grumbles about how you must love your plushies more than him as he plops himself in your arms. 

Satan

Satan would be the most nonchalant about your plushy collection. He finds it nice to talk to you about collecting items, even if your collections are vastly different.

He would probably use them as pillows when laying in your bed or to prop up his books

If you have any cat plushies, please show him them.

Satan has noticed that you have a specific species of animal that you favor when you buy plushies. He has gotten into the habit of buying that plush animal when he finds one you don’t have and secretly adding it to your collection. 

Anytime you begin to notice a new one, Satan tells you a white lie such as, “You bought it when we went grocery shopping a few weeks ago. Do you not remember?” He hopes you don’t catch on to his accidental gaslighting anytime soon.

Asmodeus

He would definitely see your plushies as a photoshoot opportunity

Has a secret photoalbum on his DDD of just you napping and cuddling with your plushies.

At least once a week he will ask you to take pictures of him with your plushies for his devilgram.

As cute as Asmo thinks you are when you cuddle with your plushies, he sometimes wishes that you were cuddling him instead. That’s how he found himself in his current predicament. 

He’s trying so hard to not wake you up as he gently moves your arms from around the plushy you’re currently napping with. With slow movements and a little tug to the plush, he removes it from your grasp with a triumphant grin. Ever so slowly, he lowers himself down and replaces the pushy with himself and rests his head on your chest with a happy sigh. Shortly after he gets comfortable, he drifts off to sleep with his own arms draped around your waist. 

Beelzebub

If you have food themed plushies you better hide them because we all know how Beel gets with anything food related

Like Satan, I feel like he wouldn’t really mind your plushies.

He would win prizes from any and all the strength games at the carnivals for you

It was getting late, so you and Beel decided to call it a night and head home from the carnival. With Beel’s large hand in one of your own and a large plush prize in your other arm, you considered this date one to remember.

Beel had noticed you eyeing one of the zombie lizard plushies at one of the game booths and made it his mission to win you one. Luckily, it was a strength based game, similar to ones you had seen in the human realm. 

It had taken several of the small prizes to be traded in to get the large one, but the look of joy when Beel handed you the zombie lizard made it worth it.

Belphegor

He would be the most likely to enjoy your plushies or be a plushy stealer

oftentimes, you’ll find him cuddled up with your plushies

I think he’d find a lot of comfort in your scent that clings to the plushy

It had been a rough day in class for you, the stress of exams weighing down on your shoulders. You would love nothing more than to collapse onto your bed and take a well deserved nap.

When you reach your bedroom and open your door, you expect to be greeted with your neatly made bed ready to welcome you into its warm covers. However, the sight you’re greeted with instead is Belphegor snoozing away with his face tucked right into your favorite plushy. You quietly take a photo before crawling in bed beside him and passing out.

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3 

[atthebell]

re: joui being a stereotype, I've definitely like. had the thought in the back of my mind throughout watching osnf? like I very much did watch it all with the view of "i have seen Luba's instagram and know he is very into Japan and like hmm. this feels. off"

I did enjoy osnf very much and I like Joui as a character! just. not those parts. because. well whatever Luba's intentions were it feels a bit. hm. I found it mostly bearable to watch (with suspension of disbelief re: the amount of honorifics, I got used to it) but I did cringe at the "samurai ancestor" part (which he in-rp did later tell Thiago was a lie but also like. come on. you could have also just Not Said That) and definitely felt like he was overdoing the "number 4 is bad luck" superstition thing too. like even if someone is superstitious surely nobody actually reacts like that every time the number is mentioned. y'know

and like credit to them for changing his name to a more realistic spelling a couple episodes in at least (even if the name itself is probably also questionable) and also for Luba toning it down on the Japanese exclamations/swearing (because they did feel very like. anime character esque slash neg lol). but yeah on the whole I watched osnf through a lens of "this is not a realistic depiction of a Japanese person and I am aware of that"

then again I don't know how common of an experience this is or whether people do just watch it uncritically (actually knowing the internet the answer is Very Likely Yes. but also reading the replies on that tweet it appears this view is a general consensus at least among some people) but. well. wanted to share my thoughts I suppose. sorry for discoursing in your inbox ^^

(also, based on the twitter people and also you focusing the criticism on osnf specifically - does that imply it gets better in later seasons? I don't have time to start watching opd for another couple of weeks but now I'm wondering)

yeah we started the season and i was like okay so that's the character luba chose to create. okay it's getting worse. oh worse than that. oh it just keeps going. awesome cool not upsetting at all.

i didn't even remember the samurai ancestor thing that's pretty bad i just think everything about joui is a terrible stereotype and luba should've made like literally any other character instead of him. it also does not help that i just don't like him as a character (sorry to. apparently every other ordem fan? seriously joui is THE most popular ordem character by far). but yeah the honorifics are terrible and so gross, the name choice is weird, the four thing pisses me off so bad because as menace says whenever we're talking about it: it's not like joui is superstitious in any other way! it's very clear luba heard about four being a superstitious number in east asian culture and decided to just go all in on that instead of doing any research on like occultism and perspectives on the supernatural in asia. also him being a prodigious gymnast in any other context wouldn't bother me but it does also feel like yet another japanese stereotype and also (this is just me being nitpicky and not really about the racism side of things) but the fact that joui's character build isn't actually built for gymnastics kills me. he doesn't even have good acrobatics!!!! he has WAY better strength and athletics, at least during OSNF, and i cannot for the life of me understand why you would create a character with a gymnast backstory if not to have reasons for good acrobatics and dex stats.

all of that plus the honor stuff is just awful i can't deal with it we literally have to pause every time joui starts talking to an npc because it's not fun to watch for so many reasons and it just makes me feel terrible. i don't know why luba thought it would be a good idea, it reads completely as him being a major weeb with no thoughts about how bad this is as representation.

also i know for a fact most fans watch it uncritically because again i've only seen ONE person talk about this and it was that tweet (and the replies, to be fair, in which a lot of people agreeing) i posted earlier in an ask. i'm sure people over the years have talked about it to some extent but i see people talk about joui CONSTANTLY and this is the first time i've seen anyone bring up how much the character sucks from a stereotyping angle. like, if i were to tell someone to watch this season, i would heavily warn them about this aspect of it, because for me it makes it really difficult to engage with joui as a character at all, aside from all my other issues with the season.

on your last point, i'm finishing up OSNF now, so i haven't seen any later seasons, but rainy said that luba tones it down somewhat and that the focus is more on his actual actions and progression as a character and less on the caricature of a japanese person that he is for the entirely of OSNF. i'll keep my expectations measured, personally, but i do believe i've heard somewhere that luba did realize how poorly it came across and tried to improve it, so there's that.

[bladesmitten]

ok so i'm going to ask: is pwotr worth playing? i'm asking as a huge bg3/da fan - what's the character creation like (if any), how is the story and are the npcs good? is the battle system comparable at all?

hello ^_^ if you like CRPGs, it's likely you'll enjoy pwotr too! the game often goes on sale on steam so i'd advise you to wait or perhaps visit fitgirl if you wanna try it out first. i wrote a spoiler free Gamer Review™ here but i'll also answer your specific questions:

compared to da and bg3, the character creation in pwotr is massive. there's sooo many choices from the class selection alone! that might be overwhelming, but there's also indicators for which classes are beginner friendly and there are pre-generated builds/characters you can use so you don't have to think about all that.

pwotr is isometric in graphics, like hades and disco elysium, so your character's appearance is more simplified than bg3/da. you'll also choose one of the provided art portraits to represent your character or you can use your own.

the game is text heavy with minimal voice acting so there's definitely a lot of reading. the story itself is compelling to me. the main premise is: you gain mysterious powers and become in charge of an army to close an interplanar rift called the worldwound. you don't need to know much about pathfinder lore to understand what's happening, and there's also a feature where you can hover over certain terms in dialogue and it'll give context as to what it means.

there's 5 acts and a prologue. act 4 has a tonal shift which i personally like. act 5 kiiiinda falls off in terms of pacing, but it's still not as egregious as bg3's act 3 lol.

the companions and NPCs are great! i like most of the companions, they're all complex to me. i might not care for maybe one or two of them but there's also like 12 companions so that's still 10 out of 12. the companion quests are done well imo (except for nenio's, but that's a problem with puzzle design and not her story), and your choices and actions actually matter and have consequences throughout the game. decisions made in earlier acts can and will impact later acts as well as companions' endings :-)

as for the combat -- it's a mix of real-time with pause (dragon age) and turn-based (bg3). you can switch between the two modes with the press of a button, so if the battle is going too slow, just go real-time, and if a fight is too hard, go turn-based for better strategizing. pwotr is based on the pathfinder system, and it has some similarities with dnd so certain terms may already be familiar to you if you played bg3. it's still worth reading what the spells do because they can be different at times.

the enemy encounter/level/puzzle designs leave much to be desired though, and that might be my biggest criticism of the game. there's quite a lot of random encounters that don't really matter. some encounters are way too strong for the current party level so i got into the habit of saving before entering a room just in case my party gets fucked by some optional boss mob 😭 i played on normal difficulty and i fared well up until the end of act 3 where there's a difficulty spike and i turned it down to casual. it might also be helpful to look up guides on youtube so you don't end up like me lol.

this got long so uhh i'll wrap it up by saying i enjoyed pwotr and like i said, if you like CRPGs you'll probably like this one too! :-)

[invinciblerodent]

Writing Interview Tag Game

Tagged by @ra-scheln – thank you dear! ❤️

When did you start writing?

I feel like there is almost never a set date for anyone- I never really considered myself a writer, I still don't fully embrace it as a label any more than I do many others, but it's very much in that "technically true" vein of things- I don't think of myself as a writer, but I do write, and have been writing most of my life.

The first story I ever consciously remember writing was a lengthy (and objectively terrible) story I wrote around the time I was maybe 11 or thereabouts, though- kind of a fairytale paranormal romance before I would have ever found out what that meant, involving wisecracking frogs, and the three little pigs, and some sort of an ancient curse, and it stretched quite luxuriously across roughly 120 single-spaced pages that -true to form for me- were never posted anywhere.

It was utterly gratuitous, masturbatory, filled with the most horrible purple prose in existence, and I will never stop feeling regretful over losing it to a simple hardware upgrade.

I really wish I could re-read it now, at 30, and maybe get back a little bit of that unapologetic confidence and drive to just write what the fuck ever I feel like writing, without feeling the eyes of an imaginary critic burning holes into the back of my head.

Are there different themes or genres that you enjoy reading than what you write?

While I'm most interested in writing navel-gaze-y, introspective character-pieces and romance/fantasy (romantasy? is that what the kids are calling it now?), I do like to consider myself an omnivore, when it comes to reading.

I generally read a lot of literary- and historical fiction, SF, fantasy, a couple thrillers here and there- though there are topics I don't gravitate towards, I don't exactly discriminate against any genre, and I try to keep a varied diet of pulp- and high-brow literature alike, lol.

Some books I've really loved over these past few years are (hold on, scanning my shelf here) Min Jin Lee's "Pachinko", Ursula K. Le Guin's "The Left Hand of Darkness", Raphael Bob-Waksberg's "Someone Who Will Love You In All Your Damaged Glory", and Iona Grey's "Letters to the Lost". That's an award-winning saga novel, a genre classic, a contemporary collection of short stories, and a very good romance novel, lol.

Although I do admit, reading tends to fall by the wayside in my most active writing periods, which is whenever I get super absorbed in a particular video game, lol.

Can you tell me about your writing space?

I don't actually have a dedicated writing space. Over the past while, I've realized that I most like writing by hand, in coffee shops mainly- which may make me look a touch obnoxious, but it's just the way my brain and hand work the best together. (I handwrite slower than I type, so it's easier to get into that ~~flow~~ state because I have time to think without pausing, and with the background noise being just at the right level, I can babysit an americano for hours at a time.) If I'm writing on the computer, it generally falls more into the realm of editing.

I don't exactly have a preference when it comes to the space itself, but the stationery is crucial. I'm very particular about the pen I use (it has to be a Zebra Superfine H-5000- I've been using them exclusively for like ten years now, and unfortunately you can't really get refills for them, but they're like a dollar each, and they last bloody forever), and slightly less particular about notebooks, but I still have strong preferences there too (lined paper, hard cover, not terribly ugly- which is harder to find than one would think).

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

I don't typically try on a conscious level, but sometimes, just that dedicated action of putting my notebook away, and walking to the coffee shop gets the words rolling. Often I find myself starting to tell myself the story on the way, and then I'm kind of playing catch-up with myself, once I actually get there.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing?

Disappointment, mostly. "Wasted" potential, reclamation of personal choice, and the deeply personal act of mourning the self that died so that another may live. What-ifs, maybes, could-have-beens. The things we want to want.

.................. also dicks. Dicks are a big part of it.

What is your reason for writing?

There's no real reason, I think. I thought about this one for a long time, but I can't phrase it any better than prev: the words just have to go somewhere.

Besides, if I'm not writing, I'm crafting. If I'm not crafting, I'm drawing. If I'm not drawing, I'm designing, baking, making something. I'm always making something.

Is there any kind of specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I haven't published much of my writing over the past few years, but from what I've gotten, "It feels like you really know this character" is the comment I keep coming back to in my mind.

I got that one on a silly, smutty fic from like 2016, and it really gave me pause. It really got stuck in my mind.

It's been many years since, and I still catch myself smiling whenever I write a line of dialogue that feels quintessential to a particular character. I found that really encouraging.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I... I'm still kind of unpacking whether I want to be thought about at all. Whether I want to be perceived. You know, the terrifying ordeal of being known, and all that.

I think the way I want to be known is how a pet fish knows its owner, you know? Like I arrive occasionally, at a reliable, if nebulous time, and they kind of have a vague idea of what I am, but mostly I just bring them food, dump it in the water, and disappear while they voraciously consume whatever it was that was dumped in there.

If goldfish were terminally horny and could leave comments but expected no response, they'd be the ideal audience for me.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I want to say maybe... evocative imagery, and dialogue. I like to get somewhat poetic with my descriptions and I feel like I'm rather good at grasping somewhat powerful images through minute details, that's something I know I have a lot of fun writing. I also enjoy the process of trying to find words that feel like they sit right in a certain character's mouth.

If someone were to actually say "he would not fucking say that" to me, I think I would mentally walk into the nearest ocean.

How do you feel about your own writing?

.... Insecure. Apologetic. Fearful, in a way I'm well aware I shouldn't be.

I have tried to blame the fact that English is my second language, and there is a kernel of truth in there, but I know that's... kind of bullshit. I know my linguistic prowess is not exactly the issue here (if I may, bigger idiots than me have done it, I've a darling friend who can absolutely testify), it's literally just the confidence that I lack.

I'm also apologetic in tagging, or promoting my work whenever I do end up posting something, because I know it's not going to have mass appeal, or I know it's not going to be interesting to a lot of people even of the ones following me, and that completely undue, asinine embarrassment is definitely holding me back within my writing as well.

This is why I enjoy handwriting most I think, because that, I know is for me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

It's purely for myself, and this ties into the previous answer- I know I write my best when it's utterly self-indulgent. But that's also the shit that makes me feel the most naked emotionally, so it's hard to bring myself to want to subject myself to any kind of scrutiny.

This really is the fucking duality of man, to crave validation but hiss and sneer at anything that might invite it, lol.

Anyway, I think if you guys are up for it, I'd like to tag @sketchyelvenasss and @lindira, and of course anyone who feels like it. ❤️

(Please do excuse me for the copious amounts of whining in this post lol, I have realized in myself that once I come closer to filling a new notebook I always get a bit emotional about my stuff, and I've like 10 pages left on my current one. Prime angsting-time.)

[pop-punklouis]

I was supposed to go to the eras tour in Vienna which were cancelled due to te**orist attack plans which is so scary and disappointing. Do you think it's ridiculous or greedy for us Vienna fans to be a bit upset and confused about Taylor's and Taylornation's decision to just ignore what happened and not comment anything about it. Idk just feels very weird and dismissive to just continue on to post about London merch especially when she has commented on other postponements and the attack in England. I just can't think of any other artist that wouldn't acknowledge the effort fans have put in to being there for the artist and it getting cancelled especially for such a scary reason and the threats being directly towards big crowds of fans.

This just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and also makes me feel bad about the whole swiftie fandom who a lot of them don't even try to understand why some of us might have some criticism towars taylor's team and their communication decisions and how many of us are alredy feeling horrible after waiting for a year to see her and it ending up this way. And maybe there is a good safety reason for why she can't post anything but it just seems weird and it doesn't make Vienna fans feel any better to hear other fans who could make it to a show make us feel shitty abt how we feel. With swifties I also often feel that they blindly defend her/her team and don't even try to see things from a different perspective.

hi babe.

i apologize for not answering this the other day when you sent it, but it’s absolutely not ridiculous to be upset about your tour date being cancelled. tickets to a show, especially a show like this, is something that so many people look forward to. it means a lot to them, and honestly the only thing that’s ridiculous are the fans who are making others feel bad for being upset over the cancelled dates.

regardless of the situation, cancelled tour dates can hurt lol it just. does. and anyone who enjoys live music can attest to that. and yes it’s a scary situation. it was all done for the safety for the fans and taylor, herself. but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. so please don’t let anyone make you feel like garbage for being sad about this.

re: why hasn’t taylor said anything— honestly, i don’t know. i watched a video last week where someone outlined many of the reasons why she hasn’t spoken out yet that made sense to me at the time. And we will never know the bts of this situation and what is legal to say publicly about it etc., BUT i do think it being as long as it has now without any word from taylor is a bit disapppointing especially for those fans in vienna, like yourself. no, she doesn’t have to say anything. it isn’t obligated of her. but, it would be nice if she threw out even a small statement to her fans in vienna. complete silence about it all is so ??? i was honestly under the impression bc of how detrimental the threat was in vienna, that the rest of the tour might not go on (or be put on pause) due to safety concerns but… it still is so her not saying anything at all is even stranger imo.

my heart goes out to the fans who weren’t allowed to have their show. i cant imagine waiting over a year for a concert and then it doesn’t happen due to very dangerous situations.

i hope she does say something soon. anything (just an apology or sending love to vienna etc. if she can’t talk directly about it) because the longer it goes on like it never happened, the more upsetting it is for the fans.

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E7 "Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

man the intro just continues to remind me fucking ingenius the Star Trek introduction was period. Love it. forever. and always. wonder when we will see these scenes play out when we will see that big plant tentacle monster from the intro or when we will see the two hands touch etc

things are flowing so fast rn in burnham's evaluative speech at the start of this episode. even though not much has happened. and no offence but, i do not think shes earned this kind of audience? because theres like. still hardly much to like nor connect with these characters? imo. idk. idk if its just me, maybe it is. but i definitely dont really have much investment in any characters yet. actually, the one character i resonated MOST with was mega-sized space waterbear, no cap. (oh mossie i miss you i hope we can see you again) trek party lol. ok ill say this one thing DISCO has a lot of filming inconsistencies between shots. like, lets say burnham's hands will be up holding her face. but then next shot, her hands are down at her seat. then switch back and her hands are back up. that sort of thing. happens a lot all the time. stamets. happy drunk. lovey dovey. cute. ash and burnham? idk. every time lorca says saru, i just catch myself thinkning "sulu" cute mega-organisms gormagander wow. space whale sounds. amazing. is it prego. … who ANDORIAN?/ IS THAT AN ANDORIAN OML ITS HELMET SO CUTE oh nevermind its scarier. MUDD. but yes that is an andorian helmet wow so cute give me one. stella.

MUDD is so vengeful. what interesting implications for TOS. DUDE WTF the end of DISCO. man a time plot huh ok lets see how this goes a remix of stayin' alive runners said left. let me guess. burnham will later predict them coming from behind her. and then be like "huh. why did i already know this" there is something off about the delivery of these lines from so many of the actors lorca's actor feels pretty grounded same as saru which is good. something feels so weird with the line delivery. idk if it sthe actors or if its the way the filming is that just makes it feel less effective acting?? idk i think its cuz theres a lot of organic quality missing in a lot of the actors getting a decent amount of screentime? i dont want to sound rude ofc i just feel something is off yeah. man. a time jumping Mudd. now THAT'S terrifying. Poor stewart. he didnt deserve to get thrown. "went his own way"? u sure you didnt kill him. Mudd's actor is also pretty grounded. the lines roll off well and not awkwardly. Nice Stamets. this is too fast. Muidd gets shot in the back and then Stamets has a comedic line delivery that seriously needed a pause or soemthing, but we switch imediately to ending the scene and returning after what felt like a commercial break or seomthing.

yeah the pacing of the show is just RUSHING so much like WHY. it just eats up so much of any weight this show couldve had in even its smallest things. i know i sound so critical but its built up a lot and its already the 7th episode into the 1st season. Stamets actor feels pretty good too but i think its just awkward screenplay and awkward lines and weirdo af pacing/film style that ruin things. they need to let this show BREATHE more. it s such a shame they didnt. maybe not the best director. also too many zooms. the show feels so experimental, but i dont know if necessarily in a good way. i sound so pickky but bro im saying what im seeing,. ok sorry this just now, stamets talking to burnham when he says hes the one "missing from mudd's timeloop" is actually pretty bad. bad editing super inconsistent between shots and why are there like a billion camera cuts? we dont need THIS many angles to talk about one single conversational exchange no offence. this scene was pretty bad. weird screenplay, weird delivery, bad editing stamets even sounded like there was a shot with his mic off i could hear the environmental reverb why is this happening. with such a beautiful visual and constume budget such as this. also yes. that is A GORN IN LORCA'S OFFICE. oh my god that means maybe the gorn from SNW DO look humanoid fully matured. ugh cant wait to see what that means. mudd is so merciless. man lorca died like a bug so many times. wtf. why is stamets out of focus- WHAT. WHAT IS THAT. THE FUCK WAS THAT im sorry no this wasnt funny cuz it was supposed to be funny in that way im sorry but just now

when stamets tells burnham that "shes never been in love" at the party in the time loop, she says in the WEIRDEST most… sry ngl, badly acted type way, replying "why would you say that to me" that i had to actually PAUSE the episode and rewatch that again to confirm what i saw. just finished the rewatch of this one scene. wtf was that. sorry that was so poor. its soooo awkwarddddd. and flatttt. what is this ADR though. stamet's ADR in this episode is some of the worse. also sorry that lens reflection of that one green party light that hit right onto burnham's face during this exchange, its almost as if i HEARD the cameraman's thoughts going "ah shit this stupid light" as the camera moved downward to get as much of that green spot out of the direct line of her face. okay, Mr. God-Named-Stamets. is that an apron that isnt a one sided dress. dance in the hallway. ok. this wa so fast. this tone feels very not in sync with the course of this plot? where did this dance thing come from. i think im feeling such a dissonance rn when stamets is on screen because he feels like hes NOT stamets. idk its like, i get that charcters/people are hopefully more than 1-dimensional, and that we get to learn about them more as time passes, but like this kind of feels like stamets just wasnt properly developed and we the audience just didnt get enough proper exposure to him to recognise who really is his person? if that makes ANY sense to anyone. ok no offence, this episode probably is the most trash in terms of script. harry mudd, time loop, saving the ship from destruction, but then also stamets is an omniscient constant, while also flat cardboard af awkward love revelations between ash and burnham?? idk. maybe in a different writers' room, this coiuld be made compellingly and cohesively. but right now. this episode is NOT. IT. im sorry so why does it feel like its deterioriating a bit. the show had me in the beginning cuz how freaking DIFFERENT and UPGRADED it looked (gorgeous btw) compared to ALL the series that came before it in Prime-Timeline. but no matter how i fought it, my emersions been finally broken by the consistently questionable factors that keep loudly making themselves known in this show. too frequently bad deliveries from actors weird af editing bad cinematography even my great efforts to ignore it all and benefit of the doubt, it was too much. which is, based on everything ive ever watched ever, a BAD thing. also, oml lorca is so small in this episode - which actually i like. he feels so insignificant in this episode haha, small fry dying every single time. also i hope i see more creative deaths in this show, cuz everytime someone dies is them dissipating in dusty colour. come onnn, we can do better than thattt.

also just fyi, understand that i am NOT advocating for a super "serious/dire" star trek, weve had a bit of that in random episodes thoruhgout the franchise and moveis too - so no, i also absolutely love silly mad crazy trek plots too, but like. DISCO i think is probably handling this in a way that is the worst ever in Star Trek so far, even among its whacky insane moments. I am keeping to the series and going to stick it through all the way to the end of course. but yeah, i was never here to just be some blind non-insightful talking head that just admired this show unconditionally. if you thought so, then you should try again. i will say whats good, but likewise whats bad. and right now, the good things are things that i have already said, but the bad is really kicking up a storm right now. captain mudd. amazing. its so off-balance, this show. some deliveries are great, pacing is great. but then its like so sporadic and everywhere too often etc yes. delivery is REALLY weird and super weak in too many scenes. idk. maybe construction of the show itself is just weak in too many areas. so so strange. with a show that LOOKS genuinely this good. im just so perplexed. the shows construction feels so amateurish i guess? in not a very good way. "nobody beats Mudd, huh." a businessman is correct, lorca. these camera zoomes are really distasteful. like lorca over here making some consistently really solid deliveries, and the stupid camera cuts and zooms and unnecessary movements just cheapen it all. it makes me so angry. this show needed a better writers' room and better directing. and terrible ADR. its liek they use different mics every 2 lines. i can HEAR the discrepancies, even without my audiophile headphones.

im so mad and sad by this. because the threads of the issues i was sensing since episode 1 are now kind of unforgiveable. i can no longer look over them. so im here really speaking about them in this reaction this time. no offence it kind of feels like nothing much happened this whole episode. and im literally 3 minutes away from finishing this episode. im sorry im not impressed with this ending in how mudd was caught. i feel like this show didnt know how to quite handle the crazy nature of Trek. Bad editing yeah. i keep consistently seeing how for example Mudd is talking, and the camera cuts to a different angle shot of the same line delivery that has to get repeated and edited in, but i can physically see Mudd's jaw still moving in speech despite his dialogue halting from the ADR of the other camera shot. THIS ^ stuff KEEPS happening. and it shouldnt. its super BASIC stuff relatively speaking. and there wasnt this much of an obvious degree of this problematic editing in even older series of trek. so strange. 'i hate how it lifted me out of immersion of this show, this list of issues. you know, id LOVE to see ANY scene of conversation withOUT the stupid slow-creep zoom. listen, i KNOW that this is very often used everywhere in media, but it doesnt mean "always'. in this case DISCO does it poorly. ok episode over. i am not convinced over ANYTHING that just happened. its a 44 minute long episode, but it felt brief as fuck. it didnt feel like it had much substance at all - and im NOT talking some kind of "moral message" shit - things do NOT have to have a real message to be good. and this episode was actually not. it felt so criminally underwhelming. like ok, stamets had augmentation that let him resist the time loop.... and? so what. so what about that. nothing significant happened except apparently blossoming love story between Ash and Burnham, which- Ash x Burnham?

bullshit.

bro that was terrible. and they got zero chemistry no sorry no. get outta here.

burnham had more chemistry with the fucking captain than ash. (i dont support either one dw.) ok. well. ima continue the trip ofc. but mmmmm stupid peripheral things are really not doing this show justice. i fear that DISCO is a show that couldve been great but just wasnt even good. bad writing, bad directing, bad editing, bad delivery - i am far from being sold than I was in episode 1. i gave the excuse of the first episode feeling so brisk because it was an exposition….. but the show quickly tired out my benefit-of-the-doubt with how i see that ep 1 wasnt so much a mere exposition, but that its kind of ACTUALLY what this show IS. i cant lie. im p nervous for this show. SNW was fucking good, so i just hope that this show improves to SNW's level where all these questionable issues resolve at some point, more or less.

guess i'll see.

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

Heyyyyy! Emily, phone call, soft, please!!! Lysm x

My last girls prompt! Thanks everyone who's been reading!

This is in my Nickjulie Soft Verse (co-created with @joyandthephantoms). Luke is trans but not out yet (he's like 10) but "Luke" is a nickname of his unspecified deadname, so he's always gone by it. It was a fun challenge for me to avoid misgendering him from his mom's POV lol but hopefully I did okay. Enjoy some complicated (on the closer side of bad) Emily POV :)

Every Wednesday at 4:00 on the dot, Emily’s phone rings.

She waits for it. She stresses over it. If it’s even a minute late, she makes the call herself, and if no one picks up, she calls the school, three places of employment, and then the police.

Call her overprotective. Call her crazy. Plenty of people have, her own husband included. But Emily Patterson will do anything to keep her family together. Anything to protect her child. And if that means making damn sure she knows where Luke is at all times, well then so be it.

Today, she’s in a meeting with one of her constituents, but she puts it on pause the second her phone rings, says, “I’m sorry, I have to take this,” and steps out of her office to answer it.

The time, she notes with annoyance, is 4:03.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Emily, it’s Rose Molina! How are you this afternoon?”

Rose’s enthusiasm always sounds false to Emily; she doesn’t think the Molinas like her very much. The feeling is, in fact, mutual.

“I’m very well, thank you,” Emily says, for politeness’s sake, but instead of going so far as to ask how Rose is, she cuts to the chase. “Is Luke with you?”

“Yep, I’ve got both kids right here!” Rose confirms, just like she does every week when she picks up Luke from school, and yet Emily won’t be satisfied, Emily won’t be able to relax, until—

“Hi, Mom!” There’s Luke’s voice, a little muffled, probably half-shouted from the back of Rose’s car.

Emily blows out a long sigh of relief. Luke is with her. Luke is safe. Luke will have a wonderful afternoon messing around at the music school until Emily can get out of work, and the only thing she’ll have to worry about is how long they’ll be in the house together tonight before one of them starts yelling.

She has a good feeling about this week. Maybe Luke will be in a good mood, won’t be so quick to criticize Emily’s parenting after spending all afternoon with someone better. Maybe they’ll break the family record for how long they’ve gone without a fight.

Maybe Emily will finally stop being so paranoid about Ray and Rose Molina taking Luke away from her.

But for now, she has a meeting to get back to, and she wouldn’t have asked Rose to pick Luke up on Wednesdays if she had any other choice.

So she says, “I love you, sweetheart!” and then, “Thank you, Rose. I’ll be by at six.”

And then, because okay, yeah, maybe she is a little paranoid, she adds, “Call me when you get home, please.”

And then she hangs up, because as much as she’s not going to apologize for her parenting techniques, she’s not going to let Rose Molina judge her for them either.

--

Taglist: @whenweremarried @sunsethimb0s @pink-flame @penguin0613 @fighttoshine @sunsetcurvecuddles @teenagedirtbag-dot-jpeg @brightattheorpheum @queenmolina @jandthephantoms @lexilucacia @sapphossidechick @acnhaddict @shrimp-colours @sunset-bobby @lenacarstairspotterstewart @conversationaltreestump @burntchromas @julieandthequeers @joyandthephantoms @it-tastes-like-lizard @jatpfs 

[vitaminwaterreviews]

AIXP - The Artificial Intelligence Experiment

I think that my comment on the first song really sums up my feelings towards the album as a whole: “Pleasantly surprised.” Often full albums can feel like a bit of a slog, especially if they’re from genres that I’m not a huge fan of. Coup d’Etat for example, which I listened to just yesterday, was more of a slog than this album was, and that album is considered one of the GOAT kpop albums. So the fact that this album was much easier (and more enjoyable) to get through is a big compliment.

The instrumental samples and vocals as a whole felt very processed, I think that’s my biggest criticism. It’s possible that I just have very messy versions of the songs; these have been converted at least once on my end, and who knows how many times on behalf of the person I got them from. But the vocals in the mellow and pretty sections never totally won me over, and the mellow sections in general always felt a Bit too coarse and processed.

I also definitely wanted more melody from the guitars, but again, I’m not familiar with the conventions of the genre so maybe that’s just something that I don’t know.

Now the stuff that I’m impressed by. The mixing was constantly making me turn the music up to the point that it hurt my ears. I dunno if that’s intentional, but for metal music I think that’s definitely a Good thing. The vocals were excellent, even if the growly vocals weren’t conventional death metal vocals, they still fit this particular sound well. I enjoyed the structure of the individual songs a lot - we had a really good mix of upbeat and mellow sections, and right as I was starting to get bored of one, it switched to another. There were only a couple of sections in the entire album that I started to get bored, and it kept my attention really well other than those.

The last two songs are definitely the highlights of the album for me, I think Hourglass is probably my favorite song overall.

I did find it kind of odd how a lot of the songs seemed to end on a slow section, even if they didn’t have one at all during the main part of the song. The transition from Hourglass to Finale was particularly jarring, maybe that could’ve been smoother. Or maybe that’s intentional. So many things that I just don’t know, because I’m not familiar with the genre! Anyway, enough rambling. Average score of 8.0 which feels exactly correct to me. Very good, could use some improvement, but still a solid four out of five stars. I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to.

- Alright, I feel the need to add some disclaimers here. I do not usually listen to metal of any sort, and definitely not death metal. I am, however, regularly exposed to death metal, mostly though music leagues that I do with my friends who are more into the subgenre than I am. But since I got early access to this particular album, I figured I’d give it a proper listen and do the proper review and all that. I have no idea how I’ll end up rating any of these songs, or the album as a whole, but here we go.

The Artificial Intelligence Experiment

The layering on the vocals is Really nice

And actually the entire song feels so Thick, in a good way

Love the pause and “thump thump” after “The Artificial Intelligence Experiment”

Oh, I probably can’t just google the lyrics to this now can I, sad

The whole thing feels … epic

I usually associate that kind of guttural growl singing with death metal, we haven’t had much of that yet

Oh and of course as soon as I type that, we get a bit of it lol

I quite like this section around 3:00, I assume this is the outro

I wonder whose vocals these are. Is this THE nLazy singing??

8/10, pleasantly surprised

I Forgot to Take My Meds

Me too tbh

Alright, here’s the melodic part of melodic death metal

Love love love the autotune on this voice in the intro here

“I forgot to take my medicationnnnn” lmao

I heard ‘forgotten pills’! That was a former name of this song

The voice still feels very heavily processed in the slow part ~1:50, kinda wish it was cleaner in the mix to give us more contrast

A bit better around 2:45. Maybe just personal taste then, because the vocal effects definitely fit Conceptually, but I’d prefer them cleaner to make them sound more human

8/10, really enjoyed this one, I think if I was more a fan of metal then it’d be a 9

Lost in the Void

Nice, love me some piano

It does feel slightly out of place though - very clean, kind of echoey, like a random piano from a music chamber was put in the middle of armageddon or something lmao

I keep turning the music up, and then my ears start to hurt, so I have to turn it back down. Maybe that’s an intentional aspect of the genre, or maybe the mixing is a bit off. Let me see if I can figure out what I’m trying to hear more of

Yeah even here. The vocals are as unprocessed as we’ve gotten so far, but they still feel processed! Idk, I’ll stop harping on that now

The “oooooh”s at the end are neat. I’m getting like, horror vibes out of this

7/10

Betrayers Lament

I almost get … prog rock vibes out of this soundscape, whatever instrument doing these harmonies feels like that electronic organ for some reason

Yeah, the growly vocals are definitely not the conventional style that I usually hear in death metal

Not that it’s a bad thing. The section beginning at 1:36 feels Really good in context

This is cool, the section around 3:30 feels really cool

Love how distorted the piano feels

What I want here is a ridiculously technical electric guitar solo at the here, riffing over everything else going on

8/10

Chaos Unleashed

That it, the mixing thing. The vocals are kind of buried in the mix, it’s really hard to make out what they’re saying. BUT, I suspect that’s very intentional, most death metal sounds similar to me

Or maybe I’m just used to listening to pop music where the vocals ARE the mix lol

I haven’t commented much on the particular song yet, but I’m vibing

A comment on the ending: it feels Kind of cheesy. Nowhere else in the song do we get the more mellow vibe of the final “nothing is as it seems”, so it feels like it comes out of nowhere just to force an ending

That said, if the next song begins with a similar vibe, then it might work pretty well as a bridge between the two songs. Let’s see!

7/10

Echoes of Freedom

Nope lol

That said I do quite like the intro here, it’s bouncy and almost dancy

Yeah, this actually feels almost more poppy than the other songs. Can’t totally tell why

Like, if I was gonna release a single off of this album, I think this is the one I’d choose

That said, this is partly because this song is kind of safe. It definitely doesn’t Explore as much as some of the other songs have

8/10

Maze of Life

Lord of the Rings vibes for some reason

I wonder what that instrument is, the one doing the triplets in the intro

Oh wait, this whole song is in 6/8, I didn’t even realize until just now

I like that a lot, it gives a really nice momentum

Feels almost like a march

Haha random choral section at 2:05, this is actually so neat

The thing is, this is the easiest song to listen to, but I don’t know if it’s my favorite. Like, as much as I love 6/8, it does often feel kinda cheesy to me

Or maybe I’m just jaded and cynical

8/10

Revelations

I want more of whatever the highest guitar line is in the first 30 seconds or so

Hoorayyyyyyyyy we’re 8 songs in and finally we get a proper guitar solo!!!

Kinda short though, gimme more gimme more

This was a really good song. I want more of that guitar. Very few comments here though because I did start to zone out - maybe worth noting

8/10

From the Shadows

I can definitely hear the lyrics very easily in the opening lines of the song, first time in the album I can say that for a full verse

Nice, the change between half time to double time around 2:00 felt really good

The instrumental break around 2:20 is good, I like the cute little sixteenth note runs

Structurally, I’d expect this song to be the climax of the album. Lyrically I think that makes sense, I’m not sure I buy it musically

Perhaps Finale is the climax though, seems likely

Again with randomly ending on a mellow section after an entire loud and upbeat song

Maybe that’s a trend in melodic deathcore though

It definitely did something with it though

8/10

Hourglass

Dude this guitar sample is So pretty omg

Yes, love the vocals

This isn’t death metal, this is just Lovely

Love the percussion

Mkay, now it picks up

Maybe this is the climax of the album then, it feels like it so far, that transition was epic

Alright, and now we’re slow again

Oh we’re in 3/4 now, didn’t even notice

I quite quite like this song, probably my favorite on the album so far

3/4 really is such an anthemic time signature, this feels so epic

I’d love to see the lyrics for this particular song. It’s impossible to pick them out during the loud sections

Whatever’s going on with the vocals around 3:20 is genius, love love love how they sound in conjunction with the instrumentals

Lol what is that ending

9/10

Finale

And we go from that soundscape to this soundscape, fair enough ig

We’re in 12 now, I think

Haha wait this is a 7 minute song!! Better be good

That section around 1:37 was good, felt like a nice break

I want it to go somewhere else, 2:20 and so far we’ve been at exactly the same energy the whole way through. This album has enough pretty sections on it that the finale should tie back into

Nice guitar around 2:50, give me more

That’s one thing the album doesn’t do too well is fun guitar solos. Maybe death metal doesn’t do fun guitar solos

3:30-ish sounds Really cool though

Mkay, now we’re soft, about time

This guitar does feel totally out of nowhere, it’s almost … folky

That’s such a metal trope, going from Chill and then immediately having the drums come in and introducing the Metal back in

4:40 is so cool omg

Yeah, this might be my favorite section on the album

The whole instrumental section here is perfect actually. I think vocals would detract from it, good decision

Yep, definitely 12/8

I’m at 6:30 now and I’ll tell you what, this didn’t feel like a 7 minute song at all

Not totally convinced by the ending

9/10

[jinxedshapeshifter]

wanted to agree with your good doctor post

i hate this trend of being seen as a bad person if you enjoy media that has anything problematic in it..it takes away focus from actual issues to play a game of oh im a more moral person than you

agree yeah of course the transphobia shit was weird but if people assume all austistic people are like this one tv character then that's their fault.. and we barely get any representation and even less as main characters so it's not fair to tell people that one stupid moment means they can't like a show

i saw people saying shauns meltdown was unrealistic and that's why they were memeing it but no it's not unrealistic and allistic people were using it to bully autistics.. i saw it referenced on random autistic people's posts for a while after

my big gripe with the show however is that they support and, i think, work with autism speaks which sucks obviously

Before I respond to this ask, I want to make it clear that I know the issues I’m going to discuss are potentially sensitive — you’re free to criticize me but do it in a constructive manner and don’t be an ass over it lol.

Yeah, I looked into the Autism Speaks stuff and while I couldn’t find anything directly tying Autism Speaks to The Good Doctor specifically, Freddie Highmore is tied to them (as in he made a video for them or something like that). For now I’m giving him benefit of the doubt with a massive serving of caution, since as I mentioned it feels more like he did a lot of personal research consulted with actual autistic people and not with people who claim to know about autism. Like to be completely honest, The Good Doctor does not feel like it was written with input from Autism Speaks, at least to me.

(Sent this to my drafts so I could formulate a more accurate/proper opinion on the trans thing. Basically started writing a response, paused, watched She [season 1 episode 14], and now I'm back to finish my response to this ask)

With the transphobia thing, from what I know, by the end of the episode Shaun was being respectful of the patient’s preferred pronouns and he was the one to suggest removing both testicles once it was found that one had cancer and should be removed. That alone had me like “He’s just confused by this, he’s not trying to be a dick” which was actually my mentality at one point, which I think is why saying Shaun is transphobic pisses me off so much honestly. “Transness was a confusing concept to him, therefore he was transphobic” is a gross take honestly. He grew up in an abusive home, then was homeless, then probably never got exposed to the concept of being trans. Why would he not be confused? I know I was as a kid; it doesn’t help that I was raised by Mormon conservative grandparents. Now I identify as non-binary.

I’m not saying you can’t criticize Shaun saying “you’re a boy not a girl” but I also think it’s disingenuous to say he was actively being transphobic or disrespectful because he wasn’t; he was simply confused because it was a new concept to him and was stubborn about it, and that’s not an uncommon thing in my experience. Outside of that, he was trying to learn. He didn't hesitate to ask questions (even asking if he was being inflammatory because he was told he was by one of his colleagues when Quinn got her CT scan earlier), and he even took one of Quinn's analogies to heart at the end (comparing her transition and the freedom that came with it to floating in a pool).

Piggybacking off of that, Shaun is an incredibly empathetic person. I didn't actually realize it until I was scrolling through TikTok, but there are multiple types of empathy (I think this is what is meant when people say "autistic people struggle with empathy"; you might not struggle with one kind of empathy but you might with other types of empathy). The episode She is an incredibly example of this. Empathy can show as an attempt to get to understand why someone thinks how they do; Shaun's subplot in She exemplifies this (I didn't know what else to call it besides a subplot lol). In doing this, Shaun also seems to really bond with Quinn, and I'm gonna be honest, by the end of the episode I was genuinely crying.

To address the "Shaun's meltdown was unrealistic" I also found out that shutdowns are essentially internalized meltdowns (as in they're two sides of the same coin). There are so many ways that meltdowns and shutdowns can present; a lot of my meltdowns have involved me self-isolating and throwing things, vs tantrums which usually involved yelling and no longer happen as I am 19 and have grown out of them (although meltdowns have also in the past involved me yelling too, although it wasn't as common. Granted I experience shutdowns a hell of a lot more than meltdowns).

The other thing with that: can hospital personnel even do that? Can they force residents to switch departments like that? Can you force a surgical resident to switch to pathology like that?? After medical school you enter residency to study your specific field of medicine that you want to go into (for example, if I want to go into neurology, after med school I'd become a neurology resident). Residency DOES NOT FUCKING WORK LIKE THAT AS FAR AS I KNOW????

Not just is Shaun's meltdown realistic, hospitals don't generally work like that, you can't force residents to switch specialties like that lol.

Anyway long post over, I am so normal about The Good Doctor :)

[firealder2005]

Whumpcember 2022: Day 1. HYPOTHERMIA

My First-Ever Entry in Anything Whump!

Featuring: Rey being the Whumpee and Luke trying not to hyperventilate (on screen, at least. pretty sure he’s doing it off-screen lol)

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43294689

Enjoy!

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Rey felt her teeth chatter as she hugged her arms around her, rubbing her gloved hands under her armpits. Blinking the sudden wetness from her eyes, she squinted through the heavy snow, keeping her eyes pinned on the brown and cream clothed figure of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.

“How much farther?” she called, reluctantly freeing a hand from the semi-warmth of her armpit to rub at her cold nose, sniffling all the while.

“Not far,” Luke replied, turning his head around to check on his padawan. The two of them had arrived on the cold, snowy world of Vandor, seeking help from any sentient life for help fixing their ship. A quick look in the databanks had given them the information they needed on where to go - but the problem was that it was quite the trek from their slowly freezing ship to any form of civilization.

Rey shuddered again. She hoped they could find Fort Ypso, where residents of this Force-forsaken planet must live. She didn’t think she could take any more of this cold!

Rubbing her gloves together, and praying that the friction would provide some warmth for her, she jogged to catch up to her master, the man who had found her on her homeworld of Jakku when she was eight years old and gave her a new life.

As a shiver racked through her body once more, Rey had a wry smile on her face. Yeah, desert girls from a scorching planet like Jakku don’t do well in deathly cold weather.

Even if they had been off the accursed world for six years.

Rey then stumbled, arms pinwheeling as she fought to regain her balance.

“Whoa!” Luke called, gently grabbing her shoulders and realigning her with the world. “You okay?” he swatted down, staring intently into her brown eyes with his own blue. Rey nodded, glancing down at the snow beneath them, and frowned as she couldn’t spot what must have tripped her.

Shrugging, she said; “Must’ve been a loose rock or something. I’m good to keep going.”

Luke stared at her with a critical gaze, then nodded. “If you say so,” he said, rising back up to his feet and shaking the snow that had piled onto his hood. “Just a klick more - maybe not even that.”

Relieved, Rey smiled, blinking the tiredness from her eyes, before trudging alongside Luke.

After a while - maybe half a klick? - she felt like her blood was moving at a slug’s pace, and she was shivering even worse than before. Not to mention it was suddenly very hard to breathe - what was up with that?

“H-how m-much farth-hrr?” she slurred as her teeth viciously chattered. Luke glanced at her, a small frown on his face, but she gave him her most winning smiles and he sent her a small one back - admittedly, it was still a concerned one, but she was fine! It wasn’t that much farther, she can handle it!

Luke took out his datapad, inspected their coordinates, and sighed. “Weathers making it a little wonky,” he muttered, squinting through the hailing snow. “But I’d say we’re less than a fourth a mile away.”

“Good,” Rey grunted, frowning as she blearily stared around. “‘Cuz I’m feelin’ veeery sleepy….” she yawned loudly. Luke paused, the blue light from his datapad lightly washing his face.

“Rey?” he said softly, brows furrowed. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah!” Rey snapped suddenly. “I’m fine! It’s just a little cold! I can handle it!”

Luke hesitated, blue eyes flicking around her face, narrowing as they landed on something. Rey self-consciously raised her hand to her cheek, but completely missed her target and inside nearly poked herself in the eye. She lurched her head back, then let out a startled cry as her legs gave out and she hit the snow with a whump.

“Rey! Rey!” she felt someone grab her shoulders, but the voice seemed so far away… “Rey, don’t close your eyes! Concentrate on my voice!”

“B-but I so…” she muttered, eyes darting around, not recognizing the worried face in front of her. “I so tired…”

“I know Rey, I know,” the voice soothed, but even this confused Rey could tell it was worried - fearful, even. She swore she could feel that dark, dreaded feeling swirling around the voice…

She heard the voice muttering now - something about finding somewhere warm? But she felt warm already…why would she need more?

Rey felt her breathing slow, and she let out a soft sigh. It felt kinda nice actually. The snow gently resting on her cheeks and eyelashes. The nice, warm feeling inside her. The soft whip of the sharp wind against her skin, before it was covered by the rustling of fabric…and Luke’s voice.

She blinked, vision suddenly clearing, and she slowly turned her head, seeing her hair and surrounding head cover my Luke’s cream cloak.

Luke’s voice. That was Luke’s voice.

And he sounded terrified.

Rey blinked again, shock entering her system and jolting her awake. She had never, ever heard her teacher that scared.

What had happened that caused this fear?

She groaned, moaning a bit as a sharp twist of pain flew across her face, and she tried to raise herself up.

“No, Rey!” Luke’s half-relieved and half-terrified voice ordered her. “Stay down. You need to stay laying down.” he fumbled through his bag, before drawing out a thermal blanket. “I’m going to wrap this around you, okay?” his voice was softer now, almost soothing, and Rey slowly nodded, still blinking in slight confusion. What had happened?

“You passed out,” Luke answered, making her jump as he carefully wrapped the blanket around her. “Hypothermia’s a bitch, believe me. You aren’t the first to get it,” he looked into her eyes, a wry grin on his lips now that the danger had passed. “And you won’t be the last.”

Rey gave a weak grin in response, feeling very foolish right now. Curse her pride! She had passed out - fainted! What would Luke think of her now?

She gingerly took the flask of a warm drink Luke had brought along, and took a long, slow sip, savoring the flavor.

Hot chocolate.

Delicious.

“Better?” Luke asked, dragging his own gloved hand down her face, staring intently at her. She meekly nodded, still feeling embarrassed from her…episode.

“Again,” Luke suddenly said as he picked up his datapad from the snow - he must have dropped it in his haste to save her life. “You aren’t the first to suffer from hypothermia, Rey.” he glanced up at her, and Rey eyed him out of the corner of her eye. “I was twenty-two when I first got hypothermia.”

Rey’s eyes widened a bit, and she curiously glanced at him. “You got it too?” she found herself asking. “How?”

Luke blew out a breath, staring at the datapad. It was displaying a distress signal, and Rey was relieved that someone was probably going to find them and get them somewhere safe - and warm.

Warm would be good.

Very good.

“Rebellion days,” Luke began as he packed his datapad away. “We were on Hoth, sometime before Bespin happened, and I was out on Tauntaun patrol. We were attacked by a Wampa - I was lucky to escape from its cave, but the freezing temperature was no good for me.” he gazed at her. “I passed out then and there too. Would’ve died if Han hadn’t had the nerve - or foolishness - to charge out into the blizzard to find me.” he blew out an annoyed sigh. “I actually owe Han a lot for saving my life…” he muttered good-naturedly, making Rey giggle as she sipped on the hot chocolate.

“Don’t you always, Dad-” she cut herself off, eyes widening, before quickly guzzling down some more of that delicious chocolate - which was a bad idea, since she immediately began coughing, feeling her tongue burn and her eyes water.

Luke quickly rubbed her back. “Easy there,” he said, sitting down beside her, legs extended away from them. “Not a good idea, that.”

“Y-yeah,” Rey coughed, sniffling once more. “Figured that out pretty quick.”

They sat in silence for a bit, before Luke quietly said; “What you said before…were you saying-”

“Dad?” she answered, just as quietly. She didn’t dare look at him. “Yeah…yeah I was.” she picked at the rim of the flask in her hand, before blurting out; “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable! I didn’t mean to, it just slipped out-”

Luke placed a finger against her mouth, and she stopped talking instantly - but still studiously avoided his eyes.

“I don’t know about you,” he said casually. “But I wouldn’t say no to having a kid.”

Rey peeked at him from her bundle of clothing. “You wouldn’t?” she winced at how squeaky her voice sounded. Damn puberty.

Luke chuckled. “No, I wouldn’t mind if you called me dad,” he said. He wrapped his right arm around her shoulders, and drew her into his side, rubbing her own arm with his black-gloved hand. “But I must warn you, the only father-figures I had in my life either were overprotective, died, or had a problem with finding their own goodness. So I apologize in advance if any of those things happen to me.”

Rey stared at him.

“I think I’ll take the first option, thank you.”

[thatsalrightprettymama]

Should've Known You'd Bring Me Heartache

A/N: @smbonilla2002 I finally finished it, but here's your fic request! I hope you enjoy and it's the angst you wanted. This is pure angst, no fluff, no comfort, just hurt 😂. I can't believe that people actually like my little fanfic stories, especially enough to request something lol. I can't believe the response I got on ALADATPO, and I'm also realizing that due to using lyrics from songs I listen to while writing, or the song the fics about, I'm making Fall Out Boy length titles lol 😂🤣. I got the title of this fic from the song "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy I really hope you all enjoy this fic as well. Constructive criticism is always welcomed, and while it's not proofread I did slightly edit it using Word's editor setting lol. I apologize for any mistakes.

Warning: Angst, cussing?

Word Count:3.1K

 In the tightest red dress, you owned you walked into Club Handy with one simple mission, you were going to drown your heartache or drink till you blacked out; you didn’t care which one happened first. As your heels stalked onto the main floor you shoot BB a smile, waving when he nods in your direction. You quickly make a B- Line to the bar, smiling at the familiar bartender Sammy. “Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in! I ain’t seen you in a minute doll, how’ve you been?” He asks with a smile as you pull a stool out to sit on. “I’ve been better, and I’m sure I’ve been worse.” You answer lightly keeping your smile, refusing to think anything other than your personal mission. “I’ve missed you Sammy, but I’ve missed your old-fashions a bit more.” You quip with a smile as he chortles and nods. “Alright then missy, I’ll get ya one served up. “He tells you as he grabs a glass, you smile and watch him make your drink before sliding it to you.

Taking it, you sweetly thank him before turning around to watch the crowd as you start on your first drink. You sip down your drink, ignoring the burn as you watch the sea of people dance and twirl. It’s not long before you finish that drink and turn to ask Sammy for another one. By the time you finish your third drink you decided that you’re gonna add having fun to your mission. Catching the eye of a tall blonde, brown-eyed boy, you decided to go over and ask for a dance. He looked the total opposite of Elvis, and when you started to dance with him you realized he was the opposite of Elvis in a lot of things besides just looks. He didn’t have much rhythm, stepping on your toes a few times as you two danced. His attempt at smooth lines sounding cheesy, but he was a bit cute, and you wanted fun. After a few songs you drag him to the bar as you two get some more drinks.

You teasingly flirt with the young man as you two take a pause to drink before he drags you back onto the dancefloor when you finish your drink. After a bit though, you drunkenly get bored of him and also a bit tired of having your dogs stepped on, you shake him in the crowd and go back for another drink. Unaware that from his corner B.B.’s been keeping an eye on you the whole night. Biting his lip he watches you at the bar, wandering how drunk you planned on getting that night. He glances at the clock and decides if he doesn’t see chill out soon, he was gonna call EP. He was terrified that you were gonna find yourself trouble getting this drunk alone.  You smile gratefully at Sammy as he hands you your drink, turning to watch the crowd again as you drink. Sipping you fully enjoy your buzz as the alcohol makes you feel happier than you had in weeks, warm and flushed. With a dopey smile you watch the crowd as you quickly finish your drink, raising you glass to signal another you sway to the music as you resume watching the crowd.

As you sway to the beat you catch the eye of another guy. You basically begin a routine as the night drags. You’ll find a guy to keep your drunken attention span for a few dances, and then go back to the bar for another drink and to search for the new one. You continue it for a few more hours, consuming more drinks as you let the alcohol start to take every care away, and let’s warm fuzzy buzz take over your mind.  Though still unknown to you B.B. watches from his corner, the worry in his gut get worse as the clock ticks by.  B.B. had seen you cut loose in Club Handy before, but never like this. This wasn’t you; he couldn’t help but think as you twirled around with guy after guy, and down drink after drink. Though his gut drops as he sees the man you were dancing with a few moments ago follow you to the bar and grab your shoulder.  In that instant he decides the night’s went on long enough for you, he needs to call EP.  As he excuses himself from the table, he stalks across Club Handy toward the phone he knew Mama Thornton had in the back.

You’re waiting for your next drink when you feel a hand grab your shoulder, “You think you can just tease me without giving me anything.” The angry drunken man tells you as you turn, easily lighting your anger in your drunken state. “I think I can have fun and not owe you or any man a damn thing.” You bite at the man, getting Sammy’s attention from his spot down the bar. “Listen you little tease, I bought you a drink, I danced with your drunk ass, and I deserve something for my trouble,” He sleazily tells you, his nostrils flaring with his temper. Your drunkenly wonder why you danced with a man so ugly before you tell him hotly, “You ain’t special. You’re just another jack to play with. Obviously a dull one if I ain’t takin’ ya home.” You watch as a snarl flashes upon his face as he spits out. “You little teasin’ whore!” In your drunken state, you raise your hand and slap the man across the face without thinking.

As the man raises his arm, Sammy seemingly comes out of nowhere saving you as he grabs the guy from behind. Drawing more attention to your confrontation as he tells him, “No one talks to Lil Birdie like that, or tries to touch her. You’re night at Club Handy’s over.” The man tries to get out of his hold as Sammy leads him out of the club. As your chest hammers, and you feel yourself get hot from the alcohol and attention, you hear Sammy tell him, “Stop, fightin’ or you’ll be banned. Leave.” You jump out of your skin when you feel another hand on your shoulder. Turning your head, your gut drops when you see B.B., one of Elvis’s best friends. “Lil Birdie, I think you need to follow me in the back room and have some water.” He tells you firmly, and while his words might sound like he’s suggesting it, but his tone is commanding it. Biting your lip, you allow the familiar man led you to Mama Thornton’s office.

Drunkenly following him, you try your best to ignore the stares as you start to realize how much of a full you’ve made of yourself.  Thankfully it’s not long before you two reach the door of the back office, it’s thickly quiet as B.B. leads you into the room. Hanging your head, you wobbly go to the couch and sit as he pours you a glass of water. “Thank you.” You smally tell him as he hands you the glass, missing the sad look in the man’s eyes as he looks at you. “Lil Birdie, what the hell was all that?” B.B. softly asks, breaking the silence after you’ve taken a few sips of water. “I ain’t ever seen you like that.”  He comments as you bite your lip, alcohol in your system allowing your emotions to easily build up. “Me makin’ a fool outta myself.” You answer dejectedly, still refusing to meet his gaze as he secretly keeps you in the office for the ride, he’s called you.

“Little birdie, I know all that was more than just being a drunken fool.” He tells you as he sits in the chair in front of you, your emotions bubbling more under your skin as you sit there. “I just wanted one-night B.B., one night where I was Lil Birdie again. That I was myself again and having fun. “You thickly answer as you stare at your water, feeling your throat tighten. “I wanted one night where I wasn’t thinking about my heart ache, one night where I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself, or wondering why I’m not enough.”  You drunkenly admit, opening up to him as you felt your eyes begin to sting. You take another sip of water as you lean back into the couch. “You know what the fucked-up part is?” You ask him rhetorically as you lean your head back against the back of the couch. “That no matter how many men I danced with, eventually I’d start thinking about how despite it being what I wanted when I approached em’, that they weren’t Elvis.” You tell him as you stare up at the ceiling, unable to stop the tears welling up in your eyes as B.B. watched the scene with a kicked gut, while he was right to call someone for you, maybe he shouldn’t have called EP.

“Oh Birdie. I’m sorry your hurtin’ like this, but you can’t fix it by getting drunk and starting bar fights.” He tells you softly, attempting to lighten the mood slightly with his joke as he gets up to sit beside you. “All that’s gonna do is lead to more trouble and pain.” He tells you wisely as lift your head up, and seeing the friendly caring eyes of B.B. “I know, I know B.B. but I’m just so tired of feeling this hurt.” You brokenly admit as your mascara smears from your tears. “It’s been four months B.B. and I still feel the same since the moment he ripped my heart out of me.”  You confess as you lean your head against his shoulder, looking for any type of comfort. “I just don’t know what to do B.B., I can’t seem to move on from him.” You brokenly admit as he wraps a comforting arm around you, unknown to you that Elvis had just arrived outside the club, confused and worried over B.B.’s call still.

“I can’t escape him either, he haunts me everywhere.” You continue to tearfully admit as your mascara runs down your face. “He’s everywhere B.B.! I can’t listen to the radio, watch tv, or hell even walk downtown without seeing or hearing him!” You tearfully exclaim as he continues to try to comfort you, hoping you let it all out before EP gets here. Though a part of him wants EP to see this, while he was Elvis’s friend first, he grew to care for you like a little sister as he got to know you, and he didn’t like seeing you so hurt. As Elvis walks into the club, He waves at Sammy and quickly makes his way to the familiar office room when he sees Sammy throw his head toward that direction. “It’s hard to forget Elvis Presley when the whole world’s obsessed over his poison.” He hears you thickly say, the alcohol making your words start to slur some. As Elvis turns the corner, he feels his chest squeeze at the sight of you against B.B. with red eyes and smeared make-up.

While you were too into your feelings, and the alcohol dulling your senses some, you don’t hear Elvis’s steps. Unaware of the man at the doorway you continue to cry to B.B. , “Cause one thing this pain’s made me realize B.B. Is that he is poison. A slow one, but still deadly. “You start your drunken and heartbroken monologue, still unaware of Elvis at the door watching and listening to your every word. “He consumes you completely. He seeps into your mind, body, and soul with his sweet words and his false hopes. He makes you feel like you’re his only one, and you believe it. He makes you feel that all those songs were right about love, and he makes you believe love is true. He makes you believe that you are beautiful, and you believe that lie too.  The whole time you’re getting caught up in him, he’s rotting you from the inside out with all those pretty lies. “You cry to B.B. as he squeezes you closer to him as the sobs start to break free.

The whole time at the doorway Elvis felt his heart fall to pieces hearing your words and hearing the pure pain in your voice. Ironically, he never wanted to hurt you, but while you deserved the world, he could now give you with his career shooting off, you deserved to have someone there and not keeping you waiting; or at least that’s what he thought. Watching you shove your smeared face into B.B.’s shoulder and hearing your sobs, maybe his Mama was right, and he was a damned fool for letting you go. Though he's pulled out of his thoughts as he watched you lift your head up and finally see him. His heart feels like shattered glass when he sees your red pain-filled eyes glance at him, before drunken anger flashes through them.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You spit as you wipe your eyes, the sight of him not only hurting you more but also pissing you off in your drunken state. You pull yourself out of B.B.’s arms and slide to the corner of the couch as you shoot him a hurt and angry look while asking, “Did you call him? What you thought it’d be entertaining to get me to talk about how broken I am, just to break me more?” Your words eating away at both men as you hug yourself. “I thought you were being MY friend.” You spit at B.B. as he bites his lip and dips his head. “Lil birdie, I- “B.B. goes to say before you angrily interrupt him. “No, you let me cry my pain out to you, knowing that the cause of it was coming.” You spit as more hurt bubbles with your anger.

“Listen Y/N, don’t be mad at B.B., he was being your friend when he- “Elvis softly tries to tell you, trying to ignore the painful sting digging into his chest from the scene. “No! You don’t get to take up for him! You don’t get to come in and play hero like your Captain Fucking Marvel boy, when you’re the reason I’m like this!” You drunkenly yell at Elvis as you get up, tears sliding from your eyes again as the emotional storm buzzes through your veins with the alcohol. Stumbling you get up off the couch, as you look at Elvis with a fire in your eyes. All your pain from the last three months squeezing your chest and lighting an anger in you as you finally see the man you’ve cried yourself to sleep over for the past four months stand in your view. “If I knew you were just sickly-sweet poison instead of the sweet honey you presented yourself as, I would’ve never fucking said yes to going to that carnival. “You spit at him, your words hitting him like razors as he sees the pain behind the anger in your eyes.

“I would have never said yes, I would never feel the hole in my chest, and I would never made the biggest regret in my life. Loving you.” You continue to spit at Elvis as he stands, biting his plump lip as you shatter his heart more. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you were supposed to have moved onto some other Jack that could be there and give you everything you deserve, he wasn’t supposed to see you and feel his bones ache with regret and guilt. His blue eyes watch as you stumble closer to him, and a small part of him thinks even with red puffy eyes and smeared mascara you still looked beautiful. “I don’t care if B.B. called you to get me, but I sure as hell ain’t leaving with you. “You angrily tell him as you stand in front of him at the door. Willing yourself not to think about how beautiful his eyes looked, or how nice his arms would feel around you instead of at his side. “Y/N, it’s drunk and it’s late. Just let me take you home, and you never have to see me again.” Elvis tells you after swallowing a lump, his deep voice thick with emotion as he stares at you, seeing the mess he’s made.

Despite your anger and hurt a small voice tells you that they’re right just go and end this horrible night and go back to the pity party that’s become your life again tomorrow. You ignore the voice and shake your head. “No, you don’t get to waltz in and out of my life like it’s easy just cause you’re Elvis Presley.” You spit at him as you look into his blue sad eyes. “I don’t care how late it is, or how drunk I am. I’m not getting in a car with you.” You tell him angrily as you try to push past him, biting your lip when you feel his large hand gently grasp your shoulder. His hand leaving a burning ache on your skin before you shrug it off you. “Don’t touch me.” You spit as his hand falls from your shoulder as you stare at the wall, refusing to turn back as the night finally starts to take its toll and wear you down. “I’ll find a taxi or walk home, either way I’m not getting in that car with you Elvis, and I mean it.” You spit as you try to hold onto your anger instead of letting your pain bubble over like it wants to. “I hate you Elvis Presley, and I wish I never met you.” You angerly spit the lie out to the man behind you before you start to drunkenly stalk across the floor and toward the exit, not looking back and missing the crushed look that appears on Elvis’s face as he watches you walk away.  As your words crush what was left of his heart, he watches you leave as tears blur his vision before you slip out of the doors. “What did I do B.B.? “Elvis brokenly asks as he watches the doors you just slipped out of, your words ringing in his head as B.B. quietly walks up behind him and comfortably pats his friend’s shoulder. “You broke two hearts it seems, and clipped Little Birdie’s wings.” B.B. tells him softly as he stares at the doors with him while you drunkenly walk the sidewalks home, hugging yourself as tears smear the mascara more down your face.

[shorkbrian]

Creep

Prelude - bitch hold on what about mean brother Shigs being an absolute creep? Inspired by me playing a boss in AC Odyssey and my controller vibrated so hard I almost dropped it, and I couldn’t beat this dude and it was so freaking frustrating!!!!!! 

Pairing - Shigaraki X Reader

Warnings - - INCEST, NSFW, innocence kink, do not read if those squick you out bro!!! Seriously! abuse of trust, dubcon, noncon, literally nothing about this situation is good, or healthy, or nice. Disgusting behavior is exhibited by Shigs.

Music - (does anyone actually like when I provide music? I like getting music vibes while I read through fics but ik that my music taste is a bit wacky lol anyways). https://open.spotify.com/track/0ODyahnUlK9G5bT4dA5NCI?si=10R9ggoJS1inYidrMeWrHA

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He offers to let you play his Xbox game, you keep annoying him by pouting for his attention and he gives up with trying to ignore you.

Stipulation - you gotta sit on his lap while you play, you’re such a stupid little girl that he forces his hands over yours, showing you how to use the Xbox controller while sneering at how dumb you are.

You’re too focused on the game to pay attention to how one of his hands has dropped from the controller, is creeping up your thigh, thumbing at the hem of your shorts. You don't realize that he’s plastered against your back, breath picking up in your ear as he hunches over your shoulder, thinking of all the dirty things he wants to do to you, how you’re too absent-minded to realize how much of a perverted creep he is. 

“Shit!” You curse, breaking Shigaraki out of his thoughts as you bounce your leg in frustration. He feels the slight vibration of the controller - you’re getting attacked in the game, enemies surrounding you and hacking at your player. Shigaraki is too entranced by how he can watch your jiggling breasts over your shoulder, jostling around as you jerk your arms, trying to not die in the game.

“Nii-san help me, ‘m gonna die!” You shriek, whole body getting into the gaming experience, jerking around in his lap as you struggle to press the right buttons. Shigaraki tries not to groan - he can feel the space between your thighs as you move around, hot and doughy and he wants to touch so bad.

Yeah, he’s always been a bit of a creep, but he’s never actually done anything to you.

The most he does is fantasize, thinking about how you’d feel clamping down on him, how’d you’d taste if he made you ride his face. What you’d look like if he forced his cock into you with barely any prep - you’d squeeze your eyes shut so tight, let out little whimpers and clench your fists because “Hurts, hurts! Go slow Nii-san, don’t want this!”

But he wouldn’t have to listen, you’re just a naive little girl who doesn’t know that Shigaraki would be trying to make you feel good too, that it would feel good soon.

“Stop wiggling, you’re gonna fall off.” He rasps back at you, taking his other hand off the controller to grab your waist, barely saving you from keeling over and onto the floor. You’re left to fend for yourself now, button-mashing, groaning when you finally succumb to your enemies and die a violent, gory death.

“I died! Why didn’t you help, you’re right here?!” the accusatory tone of your voice is ignored as you revert to the last save, huffing in frustration as you’re forced to start over.

“You’re never gonna learn if I’m holding your hands like that.”

Shigaraki’s glad you’ve stilled again - if you’d kept up your wiggling, he’d have to figure out a way to explain what the hard thing poking into the side of your plush little rear.

God, you had the most perfect ass.

Maybe he’s a freak, a disgusting man with fucked up morals, but Shigaraki’s always been a social outcast, seen as weird and wrong and criticized for every little thing he did.

What’s wrong with settling into the role other people were so quick to offer him?

Surely you’ve noticed his odd behavior by now, the behavior that’s picked up in the last few years. How he stares at you a little more than he should, how sometimes he slips into bed with you, murmuring some lame excuse about not being able to sleep.

The way he freezes when you give him an affectionate hug, clenching his fists by his side as your breasts are squished up against his body.

You had to have caught on to his uncharacteristic softness with you. He’s still mean and coarse and rude, but there's an underlying affection underneath the way he mocks your outfits, when he says you look like the gross character out of a manga he’s reading, how he tugs on your hair sometimes when he passes by you, wheezing out a laugh if you turn around and try to slap at him in irritation.

If you didn’t want him to be weird, you could’ve said something by now. You should’ve said something by now.

So really, it’s your own fault that he feels so comfortable being a sicko.

“Don’t tickle, I gotta focus.” You tell him, squirming away when he runs a hand experimentally over your stomach. You’re so cute, and dumb, he wants to bully you until you’re crying, say mean things and hurt your feelings only so he can kiss it better. 

But he doesn’t, because he’s a good brother.

His hand travels further up, rests right underneath your breast, almost cupping it. Still, you don’t say anything, attention on the game.

Do you want this? Are you just stupid? His affection is so obviously not normal for siblings, and yet you act like it’s fine. Maybe you’re a virgin, untainted with the knowledge of how sexual touches feel like.

The hand on your waist begins to slip under your shorts, his cold fingers quickly warmed by your skin. “Nii-san, stop that, it’s weird.”

Ah, there’s the common sense.

“I though you wanted to play the game? Don’t be a bitch.” He doesn’t really care whether you want him willingly now or not, he’s getting excited by the heat of your body, your weight on his lap.

You pause the game when his hand creeps lower into your shorts, when his fingers skim low over your tummy, too close to a private place that brothers shouldn't touch.

“Stop touching me, I don’t like that.”

“It’s not like you wouldn’t enjoy it.” He mumbles, and you stiffen in his lap, but he quickly takes his hand out of your shorts, stops cupping your soft breast.

The game gets unpaused, and you resume playing, although your attention is divided now, nervous about sitting in your brother’s lap.

Has it finally clicked? Are you thinking about what he could do to you, how he could make you feel?

“You suck at this.” Shigaraki observes, the controller shaking almost violently as you’re attacked again, overwhelmed by enemies.

“Well, maybe if you taught me how to play instead of being weird, I wouldn’t be.” You snarked, frustrated with the game, uneasy with your brother holding your hips like that.

Shigaraki rolls his eyes. You’re so dramatic, and although you have a valid point, he’s always been weird. This is nothing new, you’ve just been too thick-skulled to realize it before, which isn’t his fault.

A few more tries, and you still can’t get past the one group of enemies, dying after a few minutes every single time. You’re going to waste the batteries like that, controller jumping in your hands. 

“I can’t-” You whine, coming across the enemies after your latest death, already knowing what’s going to happen.

Shigaraki stays silent, red eyes finally flickering away from your body and up to the screen of the TV. 

You’re at one of the hardest parts of the game, facing a section that took Shigaraki two days to beat (not that he’ll tell you that). He grins as you throw yourself into the fight, immediately getting decked.

The noises you’re letting out are cute, frustrated groans on each hit landed on your player, muttered curses and triumphant scoffs whenever you manage to strike an enemy, which isn’t often.

The controller’s still shaking like crazy, and you’re moving around in his lap again, and Shigaraki is done. He can’t take this anymore, you’re being a tease.

He snatches the Xbox controller out of your hands, ignoring your little “Hey! What’re you doing, I was playing!”

“You call this playing?” The shuddering of the controller surprises him, gives him an idea.

There hadn’t been a plan, he had just been acting on instinct, hands itching to push you off his lap and to the floor, just to see the way you’d look up at him after. 

Like that, you’d be in the perfect position to suck his cock.

But he wants to go in a different direction now.

“Stay still, you’re so annoying.” He’s spreading his legs out, sinking back further in his chair to get a better angle, your legs hooked over his.

There’s no time for you to protest. Like this, you’re spread out nicely, exposed, even though your shorts cover your intimate place.

Without any further preamble, Shigaraki shoves the vibrating controller up against your clothed cunt.

“NIi-san!” You shriek, immediately writhing in his hold. But Shigaraki has an arm locked around your chest, keeping you pinned to his chest. “Don’t, think sins’t-this isn't-! Stop this, stop! Don’t touch me!”

He can bet it feels good, that you’re struggling to tell him to stop. He begins rubbing the controller against you, snickering at the way you jolt and writher on each pass of the hard, curved plastic against your protected clit. He can’t even imagine how good it would feel if your stupid shorts weren’t in the way.

“Stop, stop! Stop it! Stop!” You sound like a broken record.

“Shut up, you can’t even play the game right. Feel that?” the controller gets rubbed harder against you, and you writhe. “That’s how bad you are. So pathetic, can’t even fend off a couple of bad guys.”

Can’t even fend off one, Shigaraki thinks to himself. You could be trying harder to get out of his hold, could be screaming and yelling and scratching and kicking.

Well, you are scratching and kicking, moving around so much that he’s having a hard time keeping you still. And you making a lot of noise, but there’s no one else home.

He’s fully hard, and every movement you make struggling rubs him right up against the meat of your ass, and he sucks in a stuttered breath, biting his lip.

“No, no, no, no, don’t want this Nii-san, stop it-” Your panicked pleas are ignored, Shigaraki shoving your hands away as you try to pull the controller off of your cunt, get the vibrations to stop.

On screen, the player is still getting attacked, each new hit making the controller vibrate even harder.

“Ow, ow! It hurts, make it stop! Nii-san-”

“I’ll gag you if you don’t stop complaining.” Shigaraki seethes, feeling irritation creep up. “It hurts because you’ve never felt this good before, idiot.”

He remembers the first time he’d used something on his dick. It was your toothbrush, unsurprisingly, the one that vibrated with three different speeds and made you so proud of your pearly whites.

It had been so overwhelming, he couldn’t even touch the back of the head to his cock. At times, it felt so good it had hurt, had completely blinded his senses and leave him in a puddle of his own cum and sweat, panting.

So Shigaraki understood what you were trying to say - your inexperienced body needed him to slow down, ease up a little. But your gross, nasty brother wanted to ruin you.

Your character on screen died, resulting in one last heavy vibration that made you sob, thighs struggling to snap shut, hands desperately pushing at Shigaraki.

He felt you convulse in his grip, could practically feel the way your little hole was clenching as you gushed all over yourself, whining and moaning at the pleasure.

Your character was sent back to the last save, the game on a loading screen.

But Shigaraki wasn’t done.

He was still hard against your back, rubbing himself off as best he could, but he was finding his own pleasure in watching you writhe on his lap.

The controller was tossed to the side, nimble fingers sliding over your shorts, Shigaraki laughing at what he found.

“You’re so wet, holy fuck. That’s disgusting, wow.” You were drenched, the fabric of your shorts completely soaked with your juices. You only sobbed out a pitiful noise, maybe trying to deny it, but Shigaraki wasn’t listening. He was too busy rubbing over the wet spot, gleefully feeling you up. It was easy for his fingers to find a comfortable, mind-numbing rhythm, so used to playing games and deftly pushing buttons, using sticks and joysticks, directional pads and the like.

You were rocking against his hand unconcsiously, body unable and unwilling to decided whether to pull away or push closer - you had just cum, but that didn’t negate the vicious, heady sensation that his fingers brought.

Shigaraki quickly grew bored of this though, unable to ignore his dripping erection. He had never been a patient man, quickly removing the hand stimulating your swollen pussy so he could pull his cock out of his sweatpants.

With a quick movement, your shorts were tugged down, your brother completely pushing past your refusal to lift your hips, burning your skin with how forcefully the fabric was ripped down.

“Nii-san, what are you doing-you can’t, you can’t!” You cried, renewing your struggle when you felt skin against skin, his cock hot and velvety as it rested against your cheeks. “I don’t wanna do this, don’t make me do this-”

“I don’t care. I’ve tried to be good, and it’s like you don’t even care.” The man ground out, beginning to rut his hips against your ass. It was dry, and it didn’t feel great, but it was more than enough to satisfy Shigaraki. “I barely touch you, I keep my hands to myself-”

Which was a lie. Late at night, when he was sure you were fast asleep, he’d touch, just a little. Rubbing your nipples, feeling them peak under his touch. Feeling the curve of your waist, skin soft against his dry palms.

“-I wouldn’t stare either, but you wear those stupid shirts-” The deep cut ones, the ones that showed off your cleavage and allowed him weeks of jerk-off material.

“So annoying, just a stupid little imoto that follows me around, you just want attention.”

He knows you don’t do it on purpose. You aren’t trying to make him see you in a sexual light. But maybe that’s what makes it all the more appealing, how naive and innocent you are.

Fuck, he’s getting close just thinking about your purity, how much you don’t know, how much he could teach you.

He doesn’t know a ton, but Shigaraki knows enough about what feels good for him, and you probably wouldn’t want to learn, but he deserved something nice every once in a while, didn’t he?

The drag of his cock between your ass cheeks was making him loose his mind, the slide too rough, but it felt delicious and stimulated him just right, pulling at his foreskin and spreading his precum into a sticky mess on your skin.

“Fuck, stay still, lemme feel good-” His voice was choked up, still holding it’s usual nasal resonance. 

You sobbed in his hold, his fingers still playing over your shorts, exploring, keeping you occupied and frozen with sensation while he got himself off with your body.

And then he was breaking, splurting his seed all over your lower back, watching it come out of his cock in shaky squirts, painting your skin a cloudy white.

Shigaraki groaned, eyes transfixed to the sight before him. It was hard to keep them open, body shaking with little snaps of pleasure in his veins, in his stomach.

On the bed next to his thigh, the controller started shaking again. Panting, Shigaraki raised his eyes to the TV screen as you slumped against him, softly crying.

Your character was getting attacked again.

“Let’s keep playing.”

And the vibrating controller was pressed to your bare cunt, making you scream.

He’d have to wash it after this, but he figured it was worth it in the grand scheme of things