#patrick read johnson

[blackcatfilmprod]

Tonight Boys 'n' Ghouls Film Review Podcast reviews When Good Ghouls Go Bad here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S05HbomUTY&t=2306s via YouTube

[90smovies]

[movie-titlecards]

Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse (2015)

My rating: 6/10

[reyturnofbensolo]

bonus:

[tstimacstumblinfuntime]

February Book Roundup

The Yellow Admiral (”Aubrey & Maturin”, book 18) by Patrick O’Brian, 1996  ★★★☆☆

I am so, so close to the end of this series and I still can’t figure them out. The characters are incredibly textured and the setting meticulously researched. I will say, one of my favorite things about any book set in this time and place is how the research leaves the authors with very... robust opinions about politics that are now settled by a hundred years or more. In this case that subject is the enclosure of village commons. Also in this book: A look at what boxing used to be like, Stephen is poor again, Jack is in trouble with his superiors again, and the Aubreys’ marriage is on the rocks again. This one wasn’t a winner, gang, but at this point I’m in much too deep to back out. Especially since I’m still having a not inconsiderable amount of fun. No recommendation on this one, even for people who want to read the books episodically. This isn’t any kind of a place to start.

Nine Liars (”Truly Devious), book 5) by Maureen Johnson, 2022 ★★★★★

I love Johnson’s Stevie Bell mysteries and that hasn’t changed with this book. This one finds the gang venturing to London for the dual purposes of Doing A Culture and giving Stevie a chance to make out with her boyfriend. But because this is a series of detective stories, they soon find themselves involved in a stately country house double ax murder cold case from the 1990s (the time period apparently chosen to make my bones specifically crumble to dust) and a mysterious disappearance in the current day. This book contains, in no particular order: A parlor scene on a Ferris wheel, a sex-hoody, a Jack the Ripper tour that fails to impress, and a big orange cat who is stupid. I love these books and recommend them highly to any fans of Weird Little Guy detective fiction. After the first three books the cases become episodic, but the teen drama is very serialized; so this is another one where I wouldn’t advise jumping in at the middle. Go back and read them from the start, because the earlier books are also very much worth your time. As a final note: Johnson is, like, really good at writing kissing. 

The Protector’s War (”A Novel of the Change”, book 2) by S. M. Stirling, 2006   ★★★★☆

The first book in this series left me rather cold, so this one was facing an uphill battle. The general idea of the setting is something changed (or even Changed, if you’re nasty) the laws of physics on Earth to make gunpowder, internal combustion, and electricity not work anymore. This causes a moderate apocalypse and people are forced to revert to preindustrial agriculturalism to survive, which everyone just assumes means FUDALISM. The first book was set right as that crisis gets rolling and my reaction probably wasn’t completely fair. It is hard to enjoy a fictional apocalypse while in the midst of a nonfiction one, I suppose. But now we’re almost a decade after the end of the world and we’re settling into something that wouldn’t be inaccurately described as Game of Thrones in the Pacific Northwest, but the works of Tolkien are textual instead of sub/meta-textual. Protector’s War convinced me to stick out the series for at least one more book, but hasn’t pushed me to the point that I’d recommend it quite yet. If you do decide to pick up the first book, Dies the Fire, I do need to throw up a content warning for some pretty rough sexual violence, though it is very well signposted in the text. There’s also a not inconsiderable amount of cannibalism, but that’s the end of the world for you.

The Hundred Days (”Aubrey & Maturin”, book 19) by Patrick O’Brian 1998  ★★★☆☆

First, let me say, nobody is more upset than me by the fact that fully half the books on this list are Napoleonic naval adventures. That’s just the way things go when books are coming from the library, more or less at random. In any case, this one is set during the Emperor’s escape from Elba and sees Jack and Stephen in the Mediterranean on a mission to keep a force of Muslim mercenaries from throwing in on the side of Napoleon and preventing the allies from joining forces by disrupting a shipment of gold needed to pay the mercenaries. (That run-on sentence is almost exactly what it feels like to read the book.) A bit contrived, but after 19 of these books, I’ll welcome anything with an honest to god plot with an act structure and everything. You can feel the series winding down in this one. Death is a highly present theme, with Stephen’s wife and Jack’s mother-in-law already in the ground when the book opens and with Algiers going through something like four leaders in fewer chapters. I don’t know if O’Brian knew how little time he had left, but this is the last of these Napoleonic naval adventures to actually take place during the Napoleonic wars. After this, there’s just one complete novel left in the series. By now, you know the drill: A book this deep in a series isn’t getting a recommendation. But if you absolutely insist, there’s worse places to start this series.

By the Numbers:

Total Books: 4

Genre: Historical Fiction (2), Science Fiction (1), Detective Fiction (1)

Decades: 1990s (2), 2000s (1), 2020s (1)

Author Stats: Women (1, 25%), POC: 0 (0%), Queer Authors: 0 (0%), Living Authors (2, 50%)

Another four book month. I was really hoping to finish The World We Make this month, but couldn’t wrap it up before the library needed it back, so that’s another month with no POC authors. Looking at the books on deck for March, that probably won’t change anytime soon. 

At least most of next month’s books should be by women. I do enjoy books by men from time to time, but the constant barrage of lads, lads, lads is becoming a bit tedious. 

Have you read any of these? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. But please don’t tell me what to read next. I have so may books to read, gang. Please don’t stack that tower any higher, I’m begging you.

[hedgehog-moss]

as a "beginner" dipping g his toes into nonfiction but as someone who otherwise enjoys pretty much any genre (and as such is open to anything, from educational to biographical), what would you recommend?

Oh, that's vast! You are forcing me to cast a wide net and give a thousand suggestions... I'm going to limit myself to 3 ideas per category so I don't go overboard.

Nature / environment: Carl Safina's Beyond Words: What Animals Think and Feel; Paul Kingsnorth's Confessions of a Recovering Environmentalist and Other Essays; Robin Wall Kimmerer's Gathering Moss

Science / medicine: Holly Tucker's Blood Work: A Tale of Medicine and Murder in the Scientific Revolution, Richard Preston's The Hot Zone, Paul Lockhart's A Mathematician's Lament (I mostly enjoyed the first part in which he rants about the current state of maths education and says maths deserves better) or Carl Sagan's Cosmos (if I write "or" between two book recs it only counts as one)

Language: I liked Arika Okrent's In the Land of Invented Languages so much that I won't even nominate anyone else in this category. ... But I'll make up for it by allowing myself additional titles in the next one:

Politics / society / culture: Jodi Kantor's She Said, Frederik & Bastian Obermayer's The Panama Papers, Caroline Criado-Pérez's Invisible Women, Patrick Keefe's Empire of Pain, Michael Meyer's The Last Days of Old Beijing, Barbara Demick's Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea

History: I'm realising that everything that comes to mind is horribly bleak: Jack London's The People of the Abyss, Timothy Egan's The Worst Hard Time, Svetlana Alexievich's Voices from Chernobyl... I've read some fun historical nonfiction in French but right now the only thing I can think of in English that's not depressing is Matthew Goodman's The Sun and the Moon, the subtitle of which is: The Remarkable True Account of Hoaxers, Showmen, Dueling Journalists, and Lunar Man-Bats in Nineteenth-Century New York.

About literature: Wisława Szymborska's Nonrequired Reading, Alexandra Johnson's The Hidden Writer: Diaries and the Creative Life, Alberto Manguel's The Library at Night.

(I was going to include a philosophy section but I realised I p much exclusively read philosophy in French or Spanish, and it's usually recent stuff that's not been translated... But if you've never read philosophy I recommend Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World, it's a novel about the history of philosophy so it straddles the line between fiction and nonfiction)

Biographies / memoirs: that's the majority of the nonfiction I read so it could be a whole post, but some I've really enjoyed are: Beryl Markham's West with the Night; Gerald Durrell's My Family & Other Animals; Fatema Mernissi's Dreams of Trespass, Ryszard Kapuściński's Travels with Herodotus, Mary S. Lovell's The Sisters (about the six Mitford sisters; if you enjoy it I'd recommend reading their correspondence next—Charlotte Mosley's "The Mitfords: Letters Between Six Sisters")

Miscellaneous: Emmanuel Carrère's The Adversary; Alexandra Horowitz's On Looking. Currently I'm reading Joan Druett's Island of the Lost because it's nice to relativise your own problems in life by reminding yourself that at least you're not stuck on a subantarctic island having to bludgeon sea lions and eat your own crewmates for survival.

[macrolit]

The 100 Best Books of the 21st Century.

As voted on by 503 novelists, nonfiction writers, poets, critics and other book lovers — with a little help from the staff of The New York Times Book Review.

NYT Article.

*************

Q: How many of the 100 have you read? Q: Which ones did you love/hate? Q: What's missing?

Here's the full list.

100. Tree of Smoke, Denis Johnson 99. How to Be Both, Ali Smith 98. Bel Canto, Ann Patchett 97. Men We Reaped, Jesmyn Ward 96. Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments, Saidiya Hartman 95. Bring Up the Bodies, Hilary Mantel 94. On Beauty, Zadie Smith 93. Station Eleven, Emily St. John Mandel 92. The Days of Abandonment, Elena Ferrante 91. The Human Stain, Philip Roth 90. The Sympathizer, Viet Thanh Nguyen 89. The Return, Hisham Matar 88. The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis 87. Detransition, Baby, Torrey Peters 86. Frederick Douglass, David W. Blight 85. Pastoralia, George Saunders 84. The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddhartha Mukherjee 83. When We Cease to Understand the World, Benjamin Labutat 82. Hurricane Season, Fernanda Melchor 81. Pulphead, John Jeremiah Sullivan 80. The Story of the Lost Child, Elena Ferrante 79. A Manual for Cleaning Women, Lucia Berlin 78. Septology, Jon Fosse 77. An American Marriage, Tayari Jones 76. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, Gabrielle Zevin 75. Exit West, Mohsin Hamid 74. Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout 73. The Passage of Power, Robert Caro 72. Secondhand Time, Svetlana Alexievich 71. The Copenhagen Trilogy, Tove Ditlevsen 70. All Aunt Hagar's Children, Edward P. Jones 69. The New Jim Crow, Michelle Alexander 68. The Friend, Sigrid Nunez 67. Far From the Tree, Andrew Solomon 66. We the Animals, Justin Torres 65. The Plot Against America, Philip Roth 64. The Great Believers, Rebecca Makkai 63. Veronica, Mary Gaitskill 62. 10:04, Ben Lerner 61. Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver 60. Heavy, Kiese Laymon 59. Middlesex, Jeffrey Eugenides 58. Stay True, Hua Hsu 57. Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich 56. The Flamethrowers, Rachel Kushner 55. The Looming Tower, Lawrence Wright 54. Tenth of December, George Saunders 53. Runaway, Alice Munro 52. Train Dreams, Denis Johnson 51. Life After Life, Kate Atkinson 50. Trust, Hernan Diaz 49. The Vegetarian, Han Kang 48. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi 47. A Mercy, Toni Morrison 46. The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt 45. The Argonauts, Maggie Nelson 44. The Fifth Season, N.K. Jemisin 43. Postwar, Tony Judt 42. A Brief History of Seven Killings, Marlon James 41. Small Things Like These, Claire Keegan 40. H Is for Hawk, Helen Macdonald 39. A Visit from the Goon Squad, Jennifer Egan 38. The Savage Detectives, Roberto Balano 37. The Years, Annie Ernaux 36. Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates 35. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel 34. Citizen, Claudia Rankine 33. Salvage the Bones, Jesmyn Ward 32. The Lines of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst 31. White Teeth, Zadie Smith 30. Sing, Unburied, Sing, Jesmyn Ward 29. The Last Samurai, Helen DeWitt 28. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell 27. Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 26. Atonement, Ian McEwan 25. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc 24. The Overstory, Richard Powers 23. Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage, Alice Munro 22. Behind the Beautiful Forevers, Katherine Boo 21. Evicted, Matthew Desmond 20. Erasure, Percival Everett 19. Say Nothing, Patrick Radden Keefe 18. Lincoln in the Bardo, George Saunders 17. The Sellout, Paul Beatty 16. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon 15. Pachinko, Min Jin Lee 14. Outline, Rachel Cusk 13. The Road, Cormac McCarthy 12. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion 11. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz 10. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson 9. Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro 8. Austerlitz, W.G. Sebald 7. The Underground Railroad, Colson Whitehead 6. 2666, Roberto Bolano 5. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen 4. The Known World, Edward P. Jones 3. Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel 2. The Warmth of Other Suns, Isabel Wilkerson 1. My Brilliant Friend, Elena Ferrante

[crow-talks-hockey]

something about how trades really do affect players. how it's not just us as fans being crazy or reading too much into it. it's real and it's painful. erik johnson has lacked the hutzpah he once had ever since leaving colorado, as if he could bear landeskog's injury but the second he was forced to leave it all came crashing down. sidney crosby has lost much of the joy he once carried and it's because he had the human, golden embodiment of that joy in jake guentzel torn away from him when he needed it most. dylan larkin shed genuine, heartfelt, distraught tears when tyler bertuzzi was traded away. the penguins still welcome marc-andre fleury to pittsburgh every time he plays there because, no matter where he is, that is his home. pk subban could never return to the same player he was after he was taken from price. trevor zegras is seemingly incomplete without drysdale at his side. brandon duhaime is lacking his connor dewar. bowen byram no longer has his alex newhook to lean on and laugh with. travis koneckny and nolan patrick may never even get the chance to play another game with or against one another. and who could imagine kuznetsov as anyone but a capital? do you really think of pavelski in the green of the stars or do you see him proud in teal beside thornton and marleau? did shea weber ever really stop being a nashville predator? and what about beauvillier, horvat, compher, dumolin, burakovsky, kadri, yamamoto, hornqvist, eberle, o'rielly, barrie, jost, gaudreau, karlsson, carter and richards, martin, and so many others? even wayne gretzky himself went to three teams post trade, searching for that spark he had in edmonton after they made him leave. jagr had eight after pittsburgh. you are not crazy for grieving, in some small way, a player you lost. and they aren't crazy for feeling distraught either. these teams are family. and family is everything, even if it gets ripped apart so easily.

[hauntedppgpaints]

Hottest Player on Each Team Poll Results!!

GOOOOOOD MORNING HOCKEYBLR!

I've got the piping hot results of the poll I posted last week, served fresh and ready to be read! The final count was 319 submissions!

TOP 10 ACROSS THE LEAGUE:

Leon Draisaitl, 215 points

Mat Barzal, 188

Nico Hischier, 178

Roman Josi, 167

Jeremy Swayman, 153

Matthew Tkachuk, 152

Claude Giroux, 138

Alex Lyon, 123

Sidney Crosby, 119

Brady Skjei, 114

Detailed tallies, pie charts, fun facts, and odd answers are below the cut! Sorry about how the teams are paired together, there's a 30 image limit on posts :(

DUCKS

one of two teams to have both goalies in their top three, the other being the Jets

19 unique answers

Funny other answers included: jamie drysdale rip, Donald Duck, Travis

BRUINS

22 unique answers

one person put Patrice Bergeron

SABRES

20 unique answers

2 people put Erik Johnson

weird answer: that one teenager that Tanger beat up

FLAMES

24 unique answers

2 people put Chris Tanev, one person put "it was hanifin"

HURRICANES

21 unique answers

BLACKHAWKS

23 unique answers

one person wrote Jonathan Toews. one person wrote Tommy Hawk, the team's mascot

with 13 of them, the blackhawks take the lead with the most non-answers. one of them was "skipping racist logo team". another was "this team is ugly".

AVALANCHE

23 unique answers

BLUE JACKETS

25 unique answers

STARS

19 unique answers

someone put "Nick Robinson" as an answer. that's not a player. i don't know who that is.

RED WINGS

18 unique answers

someone put "the ginger". someone else put "that cat guy"

OILERS

20 unique answers

someone put "anyone but Leon"

PANTHERS

27 unique answers

KINGS

21 unique answers

someone put Wayne Gretzky

WILD

23 unique answers

2 people put Connor Dewar. 1 person put Brandon Duhaime. 1 person just wrote "Bordeleau"

CANADIENS

21 unique answers

One person put PK Subban. One person put Chris Wideman

PREDATORS

17 unique answers

One of the weirdest answers across the whole poll: "they all looked pretty ugly when they beat the pens in OT that one time"

DEVILS

21 unique answers

someone put "one of the hughes kids"

ISLANDERS

17 unique answers

RANGERS

24 unique answers

one person put Henrik Lundqvist

SENATORS

16 unique answers

one person put "not that one guy"

FLYERS

20 unique answers

One person put Claude Giroux. One person put Nolan Patrick. 5 people put Gritty

PENGUINS

16 unique answers

SHARKS

28 unique answers

4 people put Anthony Duclair. 1 person put Tomas Hertl

KRAKEN

22 unique answers

1 person put Buoy

BLUES

22 unique answers

someone said "anyone but the goalie"

LIGHTNING

21 unique answers

MAPLE LEAFS

24 unique answers

another weird answer: "that sid lookalike kid mitch or marner or something"

COYOTES/UTAH

23 unique answers

one person put Jason Zucker

CANUCKS

23 unique answers

one person put Clayton Keller. one person put "that weird luke kid"

GOLDEN KNIGHTS

28 unique answers

one person put Nolan Patrick. one person put "Steve Aoki #77". Steve Aoki is a DJ. There is no #77 for the golden knights. i have no idea where this came from.

CAPITALS

22 unique answers

JETS

one of two teams to have both goalies in their top three, the other being the Ducks

26 unique answers

one person put Jesse Pollock. :|

FUN STATS!

2 teams are tied with the most amount of single-vote answers: the Rangers and the Panthers both had 10 players only voted for once.

4 teams are tied with the least amount of single-vote answers: the Senators, the Penguins, the Lightning, and the Maple Leafs all had 2 players only voted for once.

2 teams are tied with the most amount of unique answers: the Sharks and the Golden Knights both had 28 unique answers

2 teams are tied with the least amount of unique answers: the Senators and the Penguins both had 16 unique answers

Unsurprisingly, the top three teams that have the biggest gap between first and second place are the Oilers (195 points), Islanders (149), and Devils (145)

The top three teams with the closest gap between first and second place are the Sharks (2), Ducks & Canucks (3), and Blue Jackets & Blackhawks (4)

7 teams have a goalie in 1st place: Jets, Sharks, Wild, Red Wings, Blue Jackets, Bruins, and Ducks

18 teams don't have a goalie in their top three. Shame.

the team with the oldest 1st place is the Wild, with Marc-Andre Fleury being 39 years old

the team with the youngest 1st place is the Sabres, with Owen Power being 21 years old

A breakdown of first place nationalities:

Canadian: 15

American: 10

Swiss: 3

Swedish: 1

Latvian:1

German:1

Dual citizen (Swedish/Canadian): 1

[astrosky33]

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐈 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐑

ABOUT ME

Hello! I’m Skylar if you’re new to my page and I got my diploma in astrology from Kepler College (the #1 best astrology school in the world)

I’ve been studying astrology for over a decade now as well and these are the books I recommend

☆ BEGINNER BOOKS ☆

The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need by Joanna Woolfolk

Goes over all the basic information for beginners and has interpretations written in as well. In the beginning of the book it focuses a lot on Sun Signs but gives more insight on other placements later in the book don’t worry

Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller

Another great book for beginners. I like the interpretations

The Inner Sky by Steven Forrest

Written by a very renowned astrologer. He goes over signs, aspects, etc and breaks them all down really well

You were born for this by Chani Nicholas

I love how this book goes over how to use astrology in your daily life and isn’t just cookie cutter definitions of placements like many other books. It’s also interactive and you can write in some pages which is always fun. It’s one of my favorite books for beginners

Aspects in astrology by Sue Tompkins

This is a great book for people curious about what each aspect means and how they can manifest into your life

☆ INTERMEDIATE BOOKS ☆

Predictive Astrology by Michele Adler

This book is definitely worth the price. It gives lots of information on techniques you can use to make predictions in astrology. It’s based on Western Astrology

The Art of Predictive Astrology by Carol Rushmam

Another great predictive astro book that talks about how to make predictions based on transits in your chart

Medical Astrology by Judith Hill

This is a great book with information on body part astrology and medical information. Although I do want to note when reading this do not be afraid if you share one of the transits that the public figures mentioned had during their health issues arising as astrology is a polarity. Meaning you can take on positive traits rather than the challenging ones often

☆ ADVANCED BOOKS ☆

Asteroid Goddesses by Demetra George

Goes over all the major asteroids in astrology. This can help you a lot if you’re interested in learning basic information on asteroids

Planets in Composite by Robert Hand

There are not many books out there on Composite compatibility so out of all of them this is my favorite even though it’s very basic it’s still a good read if you’re learning about Composite charts

The Psychology of Astrocartography by Jim Lewis

This is the best book about astrocartography I’ve found so far and very informative. The only bad thing I have to say about this book is that the print is really small. It’s amazing other than that though

☆ OLD AGE ASTRO BOOKS ☆

Mastering Traditional Astrology by Mychal A. Brian

If you’re more interested in old age astrology then this is an amazing read. You can purchase it on Amazon

Astrology of the Tree by David Frawley

This is great for beginners in vedic astrology and goes over all the basics. Really anything by David Frolly is great if you want to learn about vedic

The Nakshatras; the Lunar Mansions of Vedic Astrology by Dennis Harness

It’s a short read and goes over all the meanings of all the nakshatras

Light on Relationships by Hart De

A very comprehensive read that goes over synastry in Indian astrology. It gives lots of interesting techniques that can give insight on future marriages as well

Mayan Calender Astrology by Kenneth Johnson

This is extremely hard to comprehend so don’t purchase if you’re new to astrology. Even I had to read it a few times to fully get it. It discusses the astrology that the egyptians wrote in their hieroglyphics

☆ BOOKS I STUDIED FOR MY DIPLOMA ☆ [these aren’t all of them just some of my faves]

Sky and Psyche; the relationship between cosmos and consciousness by Nicholas Campion and Patrick Curry

This is an extremely underrated book and one of my favorites by far. This book goes over not just meanings of the planets, houses, synastry aspects, etc but also why the planets manifest in certain ways

The planetarization of consciousness by Dane Rudhyar

This one isn’t a basic overview like the other books I’ve mentioned it’s more psychological type astrology which I found really interesting

History of western astrology volume 1 & 2 by Nicholas Campion

This goes over how astrology has been used throughout history and why it was used in the past

☆ OTHER ASTRO BOOKS ☆

Moonology by Yasmin Boland

This is a manifestation astrology book. It gives an amazing story about the authors life before using astrology and manifestation and how it impacted them. Great for learning how to manifest using the moon cycles and astrology

The Handbook of Chinese Horoscopes by Theodora Lau and Laura Lau

My favorite Chinese astrology book. There isn’t many good ones out there

Birth Time Rectification by Paul Manley

There are some things I would’ve added to this book that weren’t mentioned but other than that it’s pretty good in helping find the right birth times using vedic astrology

<- 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

[theartofangirling]

part 2 of the 2023 version of this post: young adult books!

part 1: middle grade books | part 3: adult books

this is a very incomplete list, as these are only books I've read and enjoyed. not all books are going to be for all readers, so I'd recommend looking up synopses and content warnings. feel free to message me with any questions about specific representation!

list of books under the cut ⬇���

aces wild by amanda dewitt

the chandler legacies by abdi nazemian

bruised by tanya boteju

juliet takes a breath by gabby rivera

picture us in the light by kelly loy gilbert

when we were magic by sarah gailey

iron widow by xiran jay zhao

the rise of kyoshi by f.c. yee

jane unlimited by kristin cashore

summer of salt by katrina leno

the wicker king by k. ancrum

the dead and the dark by courtney gould

wilder girls by rory power

i kissed shara wheeler by casey mcquiston

her royal highness by rachel hawkins

tell me how you really feel by aminah mae safi

the weight of the stars by k. ancrum

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson

last night at the telegraph club by malinda lo

the grief keeper by alexandra villasante

crier's war by nina varela

how to excavate a heart by jake maia arlow

imogen, obviously by becky albertalli

in other lands by sarah rees brennan

carry on by rainbow rowell

cemetery boys by aiden thomas

felix ever after by kacen callendar

i wish you all the best by mason deaver

little thieves by margaret owen

technically you started it by lana wood johnson

the gentleman's guide to vice and virtue by mackenzi lee

the infinite noise by lauren shippen

bonds of brass by emily skrutskie

the darkness outside us by eliot schrefer

simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda by becky albertalli

what if it's us by becky albertalli and adam silvera

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin alire sáenz

like a love story by abdi nazemian

different for boys by patrick ness

history is all you left me by adam silvera

twelfth grade night by molly horton booth, stephanie kate strohm, and jamie green

across a field of starlight by blue delliquanti

heartstopper by alice oseman

check, please! by ngozi ukazu

bloom by kevin panetta and savanna ganucheau

laura dean keeps breaking up with me by mariko tamaki and rosemary valero-o'connell

the princess and the grilled cheese sandwich by deya muniz

if you'll have me by eunnie

on a sunbeam by tillie walden

the girl from the sea by molly knox ostertag

always human by ari north

rust in the root by justina ireland

dread nation by justina ireland

pet by awkwaeke emezi

the darkest part of the forest by holly black

elatsoe by darcie little badger

i was born for this by alice oseman

loveless by alice oseman

i hate everyone but you by gaby dunn and allison raskin

you know me well by nina lacour and david levithan

the black flamingo by dean atta

spinning by tillie walden

dreadnought by april daniels

a lesson in vengeance by victoria lee

all the bad apples by moira fowley-doyle

clap when you land by elizabeth acevedo

summer bird blue by akemi dawn bowman

the miseducation of cameron post by emily m. danforth

we are okay by nina lacour

radio silence by alice oseman

we used to be friends by amy spalding

a neon darkness by lauren shippen

i hope you get this message by farah naz rishi

are you listening? by tillie walden

alone in space by tillie walden

all out edited by saundra mitchell

out now edited by saundra mitchell

out there edited by saundra mitchell

[bikinibottomdayz]

NOVEMBER 10, 2024 RELEASE

All my videos can be found here, full release under the read more! If interested, please contact me at bikinibottomtrading@gmail.com!

This release includes: Romeo + Juliet, & Juliet (cast change), Death Becomes Her, Moulin Rouge! (Aaron + JoJo), Ragtime, Safety Not Guranteed

& JULIET October 27, 2024 (E) | Broadway | 4K MP4 (10.56GB) | bikinibottomday’s master Cast: Maya Boyd (Juliet), Alison Luff (Anne), Drew Gehling (Shakespeare), Megan Kane (u/s Nurse), Paulo Szot (Lance), Justin David Sullivan (May), Philippe Arroyo (Francois), Ben Jackson Walker (Romeo), Phil Colgan (s/w Crosse/Bathroom Attendant), Andrew Chappelle (Lord Capulet/Sly), Virgil Gadson (Augustine), Makai Hernandez (Richard), Najah Hetsberger (Lady Capulet/Nell), Joomin Hwang (Kempe), Khailah Johnson (Judith/Rosaline), Ava Noble (s/w Titania), Jasmine Raphael (Imogen), Matt Raffy (Gregory), Bex Robinson (Charion), Tiernan Tunniclffe (Eleanor/Benvolio) Notes: Excellent 4K capture of cast change performance! Final performance for Philippe, Justin, Ben, Phil, Andrew, Virgil, Megan, Jasmine, Matt, Bex, and Tiernan. Minor obstruction that blocks off some action on the right but is worked around well. Some moments of wandering and unfocusing. Includes curtain call and the post-show speech, audio is fed from external source. https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjBPL3Y | ASKING $20 USD NOT FOR SHARING EXCEPT THROUGH ME UNTIL MAY 2, 2025

DEATH BECOMES HER October 23, 2024 | Broadway (Previews) | 4K MP4 (10.07GB) | bikinibottomday’s master Cast: Megan Hilty (Madeline Ashton), Jennifer Simard (Helen Sharp), Christopher Sieber (Ernest Melville), Michelle T. Williams (Viola Van Horn), Marija Abney (Ensemble), Lauren Celentano (Ensemble), Sarita Colón (Ensemble), Kaleigh Cronin (Ensemble), Natalie Charle Ellis (Ensemble), Taurean Everett (Ensemble), Michael Graceffa (Ensemble), Neil Haskell (Ensemble), Kolton Krouse (Ensemble), Josh Lamon (Ensemble), Sarah Meahl (Ensemble), Ximone Rose (Ensemble), Sir Brock Warren (Ensemble), Bud Weber (Ensemble), Ryan Worsing (Ensemble), Warren Yang (Ensemble) Notes: Excellent 4K capture of this show’s first preview! Minor head obstruction on the far left and on the bottom, doesn't block action except for a few moments. Some short blackouts scattered throughout the show because of people getting up and walking the aisles. Increased wandering / readjustment and unfocusing throughout. Includes curtain call, audio is fed from external source. https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjBPwL6 | ASKING $20 USD NOT FOR SHARING EXCEPT THROUGH ME UNTIL MAY 2, 2025

MOULIN ROUGE! October 2, 2024 (E) | Broadway | 4K MP4 (10.43GB) | bikinibottomday’s master Cast: Joanna "JoJo" Levesque (Satine), Aaron Tveit (Christian), Patrick Clanton (s/b Harold Zidler), David Harris (The Duke of Monroth), André Ward (Toulouse Lautrec), Alexander Gil Cruz (Santiago), Sophie Carmen-Jones (Nini), Nicci Claspell (Arabia), Jacqueline B. Arnold (La Chocolat), Jeigh Madjus (Baby Doll), Nick Martinez (Pierre), Giovanni Bonaventura (s/w Ensemble), Cameron Burke (s/w Ensemble), Aaron C. Finley (Ensemble), Bahiyah Hibah (Ensemble), Kamal Lado (Ensemble), Heather Makalani (Ensemble), Kaitlin Mesh (Ensemble), Jenn Stafford (Ensemble), Brooke Taylor (Ensemble), Alex Varcas (Ensemble), Frank Viveros (Ensemble), Cole Joseph Wachman (Ensemble), Michael Bryan Wang (s/w Ensemble), Jordan Wynn (Ensemble) Notes: Excellent 4K capture of the show’s 1500th performance! Three short blackouts, lasting 90 seconds near the end of “Sympathy for the Duke,” 30 seconds after “Nature Boy,” and 25 seconds after “Backstage Romance.” Action on the far left and on the walkway is somewhat obstructed. A railing is also visible and occasionally blocks off action but is usually unintrusive. Some wandering and unfocusing throughout. Includes curtain call, and encore, audio is fed from external source. https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjBL7yf | ASKING $20 USD NOT FOR SHARING EXCEPT THROUGH ME UNTIL MAY 2, 2025

RAGTIME November 3, 2024 (E) | Broadway | 4K MP4 (10.86GB) | bikinibottomday’s master Cast: Joshua Henry (Coalhouse Walker Jr.), Caissie Levy (Mother), Brandon Uranowitz (Tateh), Nichelle Lewis (Sarah), Colin Donnell (Father), Ben Levi Ross (Mother’s Younger Brother), Matthew Lamb (Little Boy), Tabitha Lawing (Little Girl), Stephanie Styles (Evelyn Nesbit), Shaina Taub (Emma Goldman), John Clay III (Booker T. Washington), Todd Cyrus (Harry Houdini), Kai Latorre (Coalhouse Walker III), Nicholas Barrón, Briana Carlson-Goodman, Billy Cohen, Rheaume Crenshaw, Tanika Gibson, Olivia Hernandez (Kathleen), David Jennings, Marina Kondo, Jeff Kready (Henry Ford), Tiffany Mann (Sarah’s Friend), Morgan Marcell, Tom Nelis (Grandfather), Ramone Nelson, John Rapson (J.P. Morgan / Admiral Peary), Destinee Rea, Deandre Sevon, Kathy Voytko, Jacob Keith Watson (Willie Conklin), Alan Wiggins Notes: Excellent 4K capture of this very anticipated production! Minor head obstruction blocks off some action on the far left during the opening number but disappears for the rest of the show. Increased wandering and unfocusing throughout. Some washout on the wider shots. Includes curtain call, audio is fed from external source. https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjBQEix | ASKING $20 USD NOT FOR SHARING EXCEPT THROUGH ME UNTIL MAY 2, 2025

ROMEO + JULIET October, 2024 | Broadway | 4K MP4 (10.1GB) | bikinibottomday’s master Cast: Kit Connor (Romeo), Rachel Zegler (Juliet), Taheen Modak (Benvolio), Gabby Beans (Mercutio/Friar Laurence), Solá Fádìran (Lord Capulet/Lady Capulet), Tommy Dorfman (Tybalt/The Nurse), Daniel Velez (u/s Paris/Sampson/Peter), Nihar Duvvuri (Balthasar), Jasai Chase-Owens (Gregory), Daniel Bravo Hernández (Abraham) Notes: Excellent 4K capture of this star-studded revival! Minor head obstruction that doesn’t block off anything. Action that takes place on the catwalk and on the far sides of the theatre (not on stage) are mostly uncaptured. One blackout in both acts lasting 40 seconds each. Some moments of wandering / readjustment and unfocusing. Includes curtain call, audio is fed from external source. https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjBQ9bx | ASKING $20 USD NOT FOR SHARING EXCEPT THROUGH ME UNTIL MAY 2, 2025

SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED September 26, 2024 | BAM (Previews) | 4K MP4 (8.12GB) | bikinibottomday’s master Cast: Nkeki Obi-Melekwe (Darius), Taylor Trensch (Kenneth), Pomme Koch (Jeff), Rohan Kymal (Arnau), Ashley Pérez Flanagan (Liz/Belinda/Others), John-Michael Lyles (Tristan/Others) Notes: Excellent 4K capture of this world premiere musical! Increased moments of wandering / readjustment and unfocusing throughout. Includes curtain call, audio fed from external source. https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjBKeEe | ASKING $20 USD NOT FOR SHARING EXCEPT THROUGH ME UNTIL MAY 2, 2025

[grandhotelabyss]

Advice/hard truths for writers?

The best piece of practical advice I know is a classic from Hemingway (qtd. here):

The most important thing I’ve learned about writing is never write too much at a time… Never pump yourself dry. Leave a little for the next day. The main thing is to know when to stop. Don’t wait till you’ve written yourself out. When you’re still going good and you come to an interesting place and you know what’s going to happen next, that’s the time to stop. Then leave it alone and don’t think about it; let your subconscious mind do the work.

Also, especially if you're young, you should read more than you write. If you're serious about writing, you'll want to write more than you read when you get old; you need, then, to lay the important books as your foundation early. I like this passage from Samuel R. Delany's "Some Advice for the Intermediate and Advanced Creative Writing Student" (collected in both Shorter Views and About Writing):

You need to read Balzac, Stendhal, Flaubert, and Zola; you need to read Austen, Thackeray, the Brontes, Dickens, George Eliot, and Hardy; you need to read Hawthorne, Melville, James, Woolf, Joyce, and Faulkner; you need to read Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Turgenev, Goncherov, Gogol, Bely, Khlebnikov, and Flaubert; you need to read Stephen Crane, Mark Twain, Edward Dahlberg, John Steinbeck, Jean Rhys, Glenway Wescott, John O'Hara, James Gould Cozzens, Angus Wilson, Patrick White, Alexander Trocchi, Iris Murdoch, Graham Greene, Evelyn Waugh, Anthony Powell, Vladimir Nabokov; you need to read Nella Larsen, Knut Hamsun, Edwin Demby, Saul Bellow, Lawrence Durrell, John Updike, John Barth, Philip Roth, Coleman Dowell, William Gaddis, William Gass, Marguerite Young, Thomas Pynchon, Paul West, Bertha Harris, Melvin Dixon, Daryll Pinckney, Darryl Ponicsan, and John Keene, Jr.; you need to read Thomas M. Disch, Joanna Russ, Richard Powers, Carroll Maso, Edmund White, Jayne Ann Phillips, Robert Gluck, and Julian Barnes—you need to read them and a whole lot more; you need to read them not so that you will know what they have written about, but so that you can begin to absorb some of the more ambitious models for what the novel can be.

Note: I haven't read every single writer on that list; there are even three I've literally never heard of; I can think of others I'd recommend in place of some he's cited; but still, his general point—that you need to read the major and minor classics—is correct.

The best piece of general advice I know, and not only about writing, comes from Dr. Johnson, The Rambler #63:

The traveller that resolutely follows a rough and winding path, will sooner reach the end of his journey, than he that is always changing his direction, and wastes the hours of day-light in looking for smoother ground and shorter passages.

I've known too many young writers over the years who sabotaged themselves by overthinking and therefore never finishing or sharing their projects; this stems, I assume, from a lack of self-trust or, more grandly, trust in the universe (the Muses, God, etc.). But what professors always tell Ph.D. students about dissertations is also true of novels, stories, poems, plays, comic books, screenplays, etc: There are only two kinds of dissertations—finished and unfinished. Relatedly, this is the age of online—an age when 20th-century institutions are collapsing, and 21st-century ones have not yet been invented. Unless you have serious connections in New York or Iowa, publish your work yourself and don't bother with the gatekeepers.

Other than the above, I find most writing advice useless because over-generalized or else stemming from arbitrary culture-specific or field-specific biases, e.g., Orwell's extremely English and extremely journalistic strictures, not necessarily germane to the non-English or non-journalistic writer. "Don't use adverbs," they always say. Why the hell shouldn't I? It's absurd. "Show, don't tell," they insist. Fine for the aforementioned Orwell and Hemingway, but irrelevant to Edith Wharton and Thomas Mann. Freytag's Pyramid? Spare me. Every new book is a leap in the dark. Your project may be singular; you may need to make your own map as your traverse the unexplored territory.

Hard truths? There's one. I know it's a hard truth because I hesitate even to type it. It will insult our faith in egalitarianism and the rewards of earnest labor. And yet, I suspect the hard truth is this: ineffables like inspiration and genius count for a lot. If they didn't, if application were all it took, then everybody would write works of genius all day long. But even the greatest geniuses usually only got the gift of one or two all-time great work. This doesn't have to be a counsel of despair, though: you can always try to place yourself wherever you think lightning is likeliest to strike. That's what I do, anyway. Good luck!

[cacoetheswriting]

celebrity skin. (part five)

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x popstar!fem!reader word count: 4.6k summary: a party from hell.

content warnings: 18+, minors dni: suggestive & mature themes, adult language, use of pet names, mentions of recreational alcohol & drug consumption, emotional hurt / no comfort in this chapter (sorry, she's a little angsty), blackmail, family drama, mentions of minor character death — if i missed anything, pls let me know!

& psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely in the story, only that she’s a little shorter than eddie.

celebrity skin. masterlist

The venue is filled wall to wall with people, half of whom you have not met before this night. They’re swaying to the loud music, talking over one another, and indulging in various colourful drinks from the open bar.

Sitting on a sofa in the corner of the large space, you’re watching the night unfold in front of your eyes. There’s a drink in your hand, a cranberry vodka, however, you haven’t touched it yet. Instead, the ice has long melted, causing lone droplets of water to drip down your arm.

A harsh scent of alcohol fills the air. It gets stronger every time a party attendee sits next to you, congratulating you on an incredible single with the band they never thought you’d ever play with. You go with the flow, the politeness you’ve been taught from a young age showing its wings, and thank each person that engages with you for coming tonight.

They ask how this all came about, you on a song with Corroded Coffin. A collaboration for the ages. 

You answer honestly, to the best of your knowledge. “The powers that be organised everything”, and the person you’re speaking with laughs at your answer. Then they ask about a topic much hotter than the new record — your relationship with Eddie Munson.

The second the curly-haired rockstar is mentioned, a smile breaches your lips.

“That’s between me and him, for now.”

Which doesn’t stop anyone from trying to invade your privacy further. Wondering, out loud and with no shame, if what they’re reading in the tabloids is true. Is it just for show, or is it real? And then it goes one of two ways:

“Hope I’m invited to the wedding. It’s shaping up to be quite the party.”

“At least you’ll make a lot of money from this arrangement.”

Not one person wishes you well. Not one person says they’re happy for you, or for the Corroded Coffin frontman. It obviously makes you wonder why because you look happy… right? Why is your relationship such a big deal if you’re clearly happy? 

Don’t you look happy?

But then, in between those conversations, your gaze finds Eddie with ease. His own brown eyes land on you every single time, without fail, as if there was some sort of magnetic pull between the two of you. He smiles wide, shooting you a casual wink from wherever he’s standing at the time.

And so, you force the treacherous thoughts deep, deep down. Squish them until they’re miniscule and a problem for later — which in retrospect, not a good idea — ‘cause right this moment in time, you’re definitely happy.

Eddie makes you happy.

You’re also just glad to see the rockstar is having fun, considering how reluctant he was to leave the comfort of his own home. He’s mingling and laughing. A pep in his step as he orders another drink. After all, parties are his element.

“God, my poor fucking feet hurt so much,” Holly sighs, dropping down next to you with an elegant bounce. “I honestly don’t know how you can perform in heels for multiple nights in a row when I can’t even make it through a couple of measly hours.”

You laugh. “No pain, no gain.”

“Okay, Magic Johnson.” Holly snorts while playfully rolling her eyes.

“Actually, I’d prefer to be Patrick Ewing,” you correct her, it’s a tease with a slight dramatic flare, “‘Cause who am I if not a New York Knicks fan.”

The giggle that escapes your friend is infectious. In between the lighthearted chuckles, she does her best not to spill the fruity drink in her hand, pressing the glass to her lips and taking a sip. She relaxes into the sofa, legs now extended outwards, a hazard to anyone walking by.

“Speaking of New York, when are you taking the rockstar to meet your parents?” Holly probes, brow raised.

“Oh god,” you dramatise in response, “That’s like a super serious thing, no? I don’t think we’re there yet.”

But Holly doesn’t give up as easily, seeing right through the front you didn’t even realise you were putting up. As your best friend, she knows you better than anyone. That includes moments like these, when you’re minimising feelings out of fear.

“Babe, be for real. He has already met your grandma and she’s arguably a lot more important than your parents.” Holly states, taking another quick sip of her cocktail. “No offence to Alicia and Brad, but we all know your family is ruled by the little lady who already hates your boyfriend.”

You sigh. She’s obviously right.

“So, what’s the real reason you don’t wanna take him home?”

Glancing over at Eddie, who’s lost in conversation with the producers of your record, you suck your bottom lip between your teeth, wondering what to say to her. “Because I’m scared it’s all moving too fast,” would be an appropriate answer to the question, but then again that’s not entirely true.

Holly nudges your arm and you turn your attention back to her immediately.

“I’ve just been really happy in our little bubble these last few months and I’m afraid if we venture further out into the real world, we’ll lose that feeling.”

Raw, honest. It’s a scary thing to say, but Holly doesn’t judge. She never does. Instead, her arm makes way around your shoulders and she squeezes you lightly when your head rests against her skin.

“With the way the two of you look at one another, I bet my sanity that you’ll be together for a very long time.”

And you hope she’s right.

Eddie walks up to where you’re sitting shortly after, politely asking your friend if he could steal a moment alone with you. Holly of course agrees, saying something about finding Jeff ‘cause he looks mighty fine tonight and she’s a little buzzed, “If you know, you know.”. You watch with a smile as she disappears between the dancing bodies while Eddie sits in the now empty spot, casually placing a hand on your thigh.

“Having fun?”

“I am,” you answer and lean in closer to place a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Even more now.”

He smirks at you. “I’m glad, baby.”

“Seems you are too.”

“I am.” Eddie nods, free hand now holding your jaw, as he leans in to capture your lips with his own.

The kiss is short and sweet, but like everything you and the rockstar do, it attracts attention from pretty much everyone in the room. A click of the camera, a flash of light. But neither of you care. Looking instead into each other’s eyes once you pull apart, as if you’re the only people at this party. 

Even though putting a label on things wasn’t entirely necessary, it definitely cemented whatever feelings are floating within your core. And Eddie feels the same way. He actually feels a lot more than he’s willing to admit out loud. Partially because he’s always battled commitment issues, mainly because he’s really afraid of losing you. 

Again.

-

Eddie Munson loved a good party.

This wasn’t always the case, since during his teenage years he was often excluded from every single guest list. Then he started dealing. Suddenly, the metalhead was a hot ticket, and even though people still didn’t care for his company, they liked the stuff he brought. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like the attention — as fake as it may have been.

Once Corroded Coffin made it big, and Eddie realised that people actually wanted to party with him for who he was, and not the drugs he had access too, (although, for some, it was a little bit of both), the rockstar decided he was going to throw the best damn parties Hollywood has ever seen.

It quickly became second nature. Make money, then spend it just as fast so other people can have a good time.

When the drinking, and other activities, got a little out of control, the guys tried to talk some sense into their friend with a little tough love: “Dude, those people don’t give a fuck about you! They only wanna hang out with you, ‘cause you’re rich.”. But Eddie was too far gone and he didn’t care to stop. His house was full of people every single weekend, most of whom he knew, and for the first time in his miserable life, the rockstar felt like the most important person on the goddamn planet. There was no way he was letting go of that feeling.

Then August ‘92 happened.

The evening started off as nothing special. Just another pool party to combat the unbearable Los Angeles heat. It was a common occurrence during the summer months, so Eddie didn’t think that night was going to be any different.

Surrounded by a group of girls that undoubtedly only want to get in his pants, he’s laughing at the unfunny jokes and taking advantage of the fact that he doesn’t need to refill his own drinks, the “groupies”, as Marianne calls them, gladly do it for him. 

They’re brushing up against him and flirting with no shame while batting their lashes. Eddie usually eats this shit up. Matter of fact, he should be loving every second of it right now, but his focus has long shifted elsewhere, the girls a mere distraction from the actual object of his attention and desire.

From the corner of his eye, he’s watching you.

Jesus Christ. Eddie can’t believe you came. He can’t believe you’re actually here, at his house, seemingly enjoying yourself. And to say you looked fucking hot would be the understatement of a century. Splayed out on one of the lounge chairs, hiding from the sun, you’re wearing a white cotton blouse and skimpy denim shorts, and Eddie aches for his current conversation to be over so he can go and officially introduce himself to you — like he should have at the Grammys.

“Eds, do you want another drink?”

He barely registers the question, even with the girl who has her hand on his bare bicep, rubbing up and down rather seductively. Instead, the rockstar notices how you stand up and look around the party once, before walking in the direction of his big house. So Eddie thinks that now’s his chance, perhaps the only one he’d get, and following a quick internal monologue to pep himself up, he leaves the group of ladies disappointed, following you inside.

That was almost the last party Eddie threw.

You flipped this switch inside of him, one the rockstar didn’t even know existed. After that night, he no longer wanted attention from just anyone. Taking centre stage in his mind — and heart — was America’s favourite sweetheart. Even when he royally fucked things up, he only thought about you.

Though for a number of lonesome weeks, he wasn’t sure you were thinking about him since his actions proved nothing more than borderline douchey. So Eddie fell back into self-destructive behaviour just as fast as he scrambled out of it. The parties got louder, he became more obnoxious.

September 1992. Saturday Night Live.

That will be a night his band, his management, his friends, and even his fans, will never let Eddie forget. Unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons.

The drinks pre-show were free and Eddie had a mountain of feelings he desperately needed to get over, along with memories he wanted to bury deep, until they were nothing but specs of dust, flashes that didn’t resemble anything — especially not you.

He did his best not to slur his words during the live performance, and for the most part, he succeeded. Although that didn’t really matter since anyone in the rockstar's vicinity could clearly tell he was intoxicated. Eddie, leaning half his weight on the microphone, round sunglasses covering his bloodshot eyes, should have never been allowed to set foot on the stage that night.

Let alone twice.

Under the dim stage light, as they hoped to conclude their last song without a major incident, Eddie’s band mates were exchanging worried glances. The Corroded Coffin frontman had a couple more drinks in between sets and was barely able to follow along with the music.

Thankfully, behind the scenes, Marianne convinced production to shift the cameras away from unravelling Eddie, even switched off his microphone, and the only people left witness to his drunken mess were the folks present physically.

Eddie on the other hand couldn’t have cared less about how he was behaving since the alcohol didn’t numb him like he hoped, instead the thought of you being somewhere in the same city, overpowered his senses. Would it be crazy to hope you were watching? Would it be crazy to think that despite how rudely he treated you, you’d still show up like you both talked about?

Would it be crazy to try and find you? Search New York, high and low, in hopes that someone knows someone, who knows someone else, that knows where you live?

Instead, against his better judgement and everyone else’s rather aggressive protests, Eddie goes to the after party planned in his name.

Unsurprisingly, you didn’t come.

His black out was imminent.

The damages done to the restaurant came to just under five thousand dollars. The stress from keeping it out of the press robbed his team about two years of their life, so Marianne says.

And that was the last party Eddie threw. 

Considering how out of control things had gotten, how out of control he had become at some point during the night while thinking about you with every drink that burned down his throat, it could’ve been a lot worse.

Eddie still only thinks about you. Difference being, now, almost a year later, you are attending a party together, and the alcohol no longer tastes like regret.

When he looks at you, like he is right now, under the fluorescent club lights, his heart increases tenfold. He wants to kiss every inch of your face, hold you close because that’s where you belong. 

Things simply got better because he owned up to his mistakes and learned to open himself up to love, as scary as that feeling is sometimes. He’s not second guessing your intentions, because that would be cruel. He just loses himself in his doubts sometimes, since in the past, no pretty girl has given him the time of day without wanting something in return.

“I can’t believe you’re mine,” Eddie whispers against your lips, thumb gently grazing along your cheekbone. He proceeds to tell you how you make life a little more normal, and he’s grateful for it, despite always wanting fame. You tell him how attention is nothing if it doesn’t come from the right person, and he agrees, brown locks bouncing as he nods his head. Then he kisses you again.

And this kiss is arguably a lot more urgent than the last. Eddie is hovering over you entirely. One hand remains holding onto your face, while the other is on your waist, pushing you deeper into the sofa.

You can hear another click of a camera in the distance and despite your better judgement, that voice in the back of your mind, closely reminiscent of your Nana’s, telling you to push your boyfriend away, you slide your hands up his back and cling closer to him.

An inch of regret courses through your veins the following morning when you receive a call from your quite displeased team, “what the hell were you thinking?!”. You deflect. Unwilling for anyone to burst through the happy bubble you’ve found yourself in, you blame them for poor organisation and security ‘cause who even allows cameras to be brought into a private Hollywood event.

That regret is unfortunately also accompanied by a killer hangover and very little memory of what else has happened the night prior.

The empty spot in bed, usually home to a set of wild brown locks, should have been a warning sign ‘cause Eddie never woke up before you, especially after a party. You find him in the kitchen, at the spot where the two of you first met. His head is in his hands and you’re instantly feeling worried.

The happy bubble threatening to burst.

“Hey,” you croak, hoping to get his attention, “are you okay?”

Eddie’s as still as a statue. He doesn’t acknowledge your presence, or your question, and the worry in the pit of your stomach increases tenfold. So you approach him, movements slow due to the banging headache as well as the apprehension given your boyfriend's current position. Only when your hand hesitantly reaches his back, rubbing once downward while you position yourself next to him, Eddie lifts his head and tilts it to the side, finally meeting your eyes.

“Had a good night?” Eddie asks, shifting his stance so that your hand falls down to your side. This should have been a second warning; him trying to avoid physical contact.

“Y-yeah,” you force a smile, thinking that it’s needed, “You?”

“Not really,” he answers a little too quickly.

His brown eyes scan yours, for what exactly, you’re a little too hungover to realise. But the longer he stares at you, the worse you begin to feel. A certain dread spreads through your insides, causing your stomach to drop. What’s happening right now? Actually, what happened in the late hours of last night that’s causing this sudden rift between you and the rockstar.

“What’s going on, Eddie?”

The tone of your voice is so quiet, you’re unsure he’s even heard you. But then a sigh escapes his lips. He briefly glances towards the back door, out towards the pool, before settling his gaze back on your frame.

“I think we made a mistake,” he says a little too bluntly. “I-I don’t think we should have labelled this so soon, and ehm… This is nothing on you, sweetheart. I’m just not the relationship type.”

Dumbfounded, is a little too plain to explain the feeling that you’re experiencing at this very moment. Betrayed would be a better word, but that would mean Eddie is after saying those things. That he’s really after shattering your entire world in the space of a few mere seconds. Betrayed would mean your gut instinct, the one you have ignored ever since you’ve met the Corroded Coffin frontman, was always correct: he was no good.

Used, is how you begin to feel as Eddie continues to list reasons for why he can’t actually be your boyfriend and how you’re better off simply being friends with benefits, or whatever it is the two of you had been over the last few months. Used fuels the anger inside of you because, to you, deceit is worse than cheating. And he seems so nonchalant about it, which only adds to the fire.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Eddie stops mid another lame excuse and for the first time this morning, he reaches for your hands, fingers gently grazing against your skin, which only adds to the pain you’re beginning to endure. 

“Sweetheart…”

“No, no.”

You retreat, unwilling to let the rockstar hold you since he’s after breaking your heart like it was worth nothing — Jesus H. Christ, this is some sick and twisted deja vu.

Instead, you cross your arms across your chest like a shield while taking a step away from the man you realised now you definitely loved, yet one that clearly didn’t love you.

“I-I guess I’m just confused as to what’s changed since last night—”

“I’m not the relationship type,” Eddie cuts in, repeating what he’s already said, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything towards you. I like you, sweetheart. A lot.”

“Eddie, come on,” you scoff, tears threatening to breach through the confines of their home, “Do you realise how ridiculous you sound right now? If you feel something towards me, I-I don’t get how being called my boyfriend and being exclusive with me is the worst thing on the planet.”

When he doesn’t immediately reply, you continue.

“Unless that’s it. You don’t want to be exclusive because the thought of keeping your dick in your pants when I’m not around is too difficult, or having other people throw themselves at you and not immediately act on it is something Eddie Munson simply cannot do.”

“That’s not it,” the rockstar interjects.

“Then fucking enlighten me, Eddie, because you’re making no fucking sense right now!”

Again, he doesn’t say anything. And it’s precisely because he’s not showing any willingness to be honest with you right this moment, after endless prior conversations about how that’s the one thing he will always be, you decide for your own sanity that this isn’t a relationship you can fight for.

“Fuck you, Eddie.”

Three words you’ve spoken to him before, only this time they hold a lot more weight. This time, they signal an end to something that was only after getting a proper beginning. The end of America’s favourite popstar and the Corroded Coffin frontman — a headline that broke on Page Six the very next morning.

Eddie watches you leave. Frozen in his spot as you rush back to the bedroom the two of you have shared the last few months. And his heart aches because unbeknown to you, this is not what he wanted to happen.

Unbeknown to you, this is not how he actually feels. He doesn’t want to end things with you so soon after they’ve begun. He wants you. He wants to be your boyfriend, if not more.

He just can’t.

Last night’s party was the main catalyst behind the rockstar’s actions this morning. The attendance of a certain someone that wasn’t actually invited was a shock to Eddie’s drunken system, and the reason behind why he simply can’t tell you anything, especially the truth.

(Not right now anyway.)

-

Chrissy Cunningham.

The preppy blonde was the only person Eddie loved before meeting you. 

Despite not ever being anything more than friends, at least on a physical level, for the longest time, Chrissy was Eddie’s only supporter. The only person to show him kindness and shower him with care he undoubtedly deserved.

Chrissy encouraged Eddie to follow his dreams, pursue a career in music, because out of everyone in Hawkins, she truly believed in his talent.

Then she died.

Suddenly, Eddie was not only left with a hole in his heart, but he also found himself at the centre of a murder investigation. Despite being declared innocent, her death nothing but a freak accident, the scars on the rockstar’s body remind him of the events of March ‘86 to this very day.

He told you a little about what happened, just failed to mention Chrissy. Not for any particular reason, he just doesn’t talk about her as a rule — unwilling to reopen the wounds he so desperately tried to heal over the years.

And because he doesn’t talk about Chrissy, or mention her name and what she meant to him, Eddie never expected her to be brought up.

Especially not a Hollywood party of all places.

Eddie first spotted your grandmother mid-performance of the band’s single with you. She approached him shortly after, when you excused yourself to take some shots with Holly, leaving the frontman alone.

“Even I cannot deny that it’s a good song,” she states simply, as Eddie eyes her suspiciously.

“With all due respect, ma’am, I don’t think you were on the guest list.”

She scoffs. “Just like my lovely granddaughter, I can get myself on every single list I want, and even though I don’t necessarily want to be here, I do have something to tell you.”

Eddie cocks a brow, “Oh yeah?”

“Hawkins is a lovely little town,” she says, not missing a beat. “It’s quaint. Reminds me of a place I spent hiding my pregnancy all those moons ago, but that’s a story for another time. Or not. Depends how well you listen to me right now.”

“What do you want?”

“Does my granddaughter know about Chrissy Cunningham?”

Eddie’s face falls the second Chrissy’s name escapes your grandmothers painted lips, though he doesn’t get a chance to actually reply to the question, because she’s quick to continue with her agenda.

“I suppose not. Your uncle Wayne was really quite open to tell me about her though, about what she meant to you.”

She pauses, tilting her head to one side.

“I am sorry for your loss, Edward.”

Another brief pause.

“Yet I can’t help the curiosity, why didn’t you tell my baby about this girl if she supposedly played such a big part in you pursuing your dreams?”

“Don’t do this—”

“Do what, Edward? I’m just trying to learn more about the boy my naive granddaughter is willing to risk her entire career for. Again, your uncle Wayne was very helpful in this department, considering you practically shunned me from the dinner I organised for this exact reason.”

“Listen—”

“No,” your grandmother interrupts, “We both know you’re not good enough for my sweet angel and this entire Chrissy situation you are trying really hard to hide from everyone, only proves my point,” she snaps and Eddie’s feeling grateful that the place is a little too crowded and a little too noisy for anyone to hear what’s happening at this very moment.

“Edward, if you have nothing to hide, if you’re really innocent and played no part in the poor girl's death, why can’t the world know? Feel free to answer me, I’m just trying to get some insight into who my granddaughter has chosen to date.”

Eddie swallows his breath, unsure of what to say because it’s these types of conversations he’s been trying to avoid by not bringing up Chrissy.

Ever.

He didn’t do anything to the girl he loved. He is one hundred percent innocent, and the courts proved his side of the story. Yet, he’s been ridiculed and questioned left, right, and centre.

Only Max and Wayne know that the final reason as to why he’s decided to leave Hawkins behind for good, was to get away from the rumours and the people that didn’t believe him. And as he rushed to chase his dreams, he swore he’d never bring this up. Swore to never mention Chrissy’s name to anyone, or the fact that she’s been the inspiration behind numerous Corroded Coffin singles.

In a way, it was freeing. In Los Angeles, Chrissy Cunnigham was nothing but a figment of Eddie’s imagination.

Until this very moment.

“I didn’t kill her.”

“I know,” your Nana states, “But it wouldn’t take a lot to make people in Hollywood believe that you did and then your image is ruined, your career starts to decline, and the only other person that’s affected besides you and your bandmates, is the person you claim to feel something for. My granddaughter.”

Eddie’s heart sinks. He glances behind your grandmother’s shoulder to where you’re standing at the bar with Holly, laughing at something your friend has said seconds prior.

He’s happy with you. He’s happy to be known as your boyfriend.

And it’s because of that happiness, he knows he cannot ruin your life by involving you in something that happened before he was even famous.

“I don’t want to hurt her,” the rockstar mumbles in a defeated tone.

“She’s going to hurt either way,” your grandmother says, “But if you end things with her on your own, I promise to keep Chrissy’s name out of the press, so you’re only breaking my granddaughter's heart and not simultaneously ending her career.”

The metalhead hangs his head low, closing his eyes momentarily to try and gather his tipsy thoughts. His lack of rebuttal is enough for your grandmother to claim her victory. She places a hand on the rockstar’s shoulder and squeezes once, faking remorse.

“And Eddie,” she continues, “I wouldn’t tell her about this conversation, and I also wouldn’t be so brave to tell her about Chrissy yourself, because with a snap of my finger, the whole world will know. Then you gotta ask yourself, what’s more important? Your happiness, her happiness, or the careers you both worked extremely hard for.”

She lets her hand fall and walks out of the party with her head held high. Unseen by you and unnoticed by everyone else here, almost like a ghost. Like the conversion never happened. 

But the ache in Eddie’s chest is proof enough. He knows what occurred, just like he knows what he unfortunately needs to do — which is break your fucking heart.

thank you for reading! really appreciate the endless & continuous support!

celebrity skin. masterlist

& tagging some cool ppl that expressed interest: @eviethetheatrefreak , @thirddeadlysin , @haylaansmi , @nope-thanks , @tlclick73 , @vintagehellfire , @ashlynnkennedy , @avalon-wolf , @sidthedollface2 , @papillonoirsworld , @vol2eddie , @astheni-a , @bebe07011

[eagna-eilis]

Ach-To and Irish Archaeology

The sequels were my entry into Star Wars and I never would have gone to see The Force Awakens if I wasn't an archaeology nerd.

During the production of Episode VII, a decent number of people with an interest in our archaeological heritage here in Ireland were quite worried about the impact of filming on one of our only two UNESCO World Heritage Sites, the island known as Skellig Michael down off the coast of Kerry.

I went to the film to see if any potential damage was worth it, or if they'd do something unspeakably stupid with it in-universe. I wanted to see if it was respected.

And holy hell I was NOT disappointed. I think I walked out of TFA sniffling to myself about how beautiful the Skellig looked and how it seemed like its use as a location was not just respectful but heavily inspired by its real history.

See, Skellig Michael was a monastic hermitage established at a point when Christianity was so new that the man who ordered its founding sometime in the first century CE was himself ordained by the Apostle Paul. The fellah from the Bible who harassed all and sundry with his letters, THAT Apostle Paul. This is how old a Christian site the Skellig is. It predates St. Patrick by at the very least two hundred years.

The steps we watch Rey climb were originally cut NEARLY TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO. They have been reworked and repaired many many times since, of course. Still, the path the camera follows Daisy Ridley up is as much an ancient path built by the founders of a faith in real life as it is in the movies.

A hermitage was a place where monks went to live lives of solitude and asceticism so as better to achieve wisdom. The practice is common to many of the major world religions, including the myriad East Asian faiths which inspired the fictional Jedi.

It is said that the hermitage and monastery were originally built with the purpose of housing mystical texts belonging to the Essanes, one of the sects of Second Temple Judaism which influenced some of the doctrines of Christianity. They also, according to what I have read, characterised good and evil as 'light' and 'darkness' and were celibate.

As such, the use of the island in TFA and TLJ does not merely respect Skellig Michael's history, it honours it. It is framed as somewhere ancient and sacred, which it is. It is framed as a place where a mystic goes to live on his own surrounded by nature that is at once punishing and sublime, which of course it was. It shown to be a place established to protect texts written at the establishment of a faith, which it may well have been.

This level of genuine respect for my cultural heritage by Rian Johnson in particular is astonishing. I don't think anyone from outside the US ever really trusts Americans not to treat our built history like it's Disneyland. Much of the incorporation of the Skellig's real past into a fictional galactic history occurs in TLJ, which is why I'm giving Rian so much credit.

It's Luke's death scene which makes the honouring of Irish archaeological history most apparent though.

Johnson takes the archaeological iconography back a further three thousand years for his final tribute to my culture's beautiful historical temples. This time, he incorporates neolithic passage tomb imagery, specifically that of Newgrange, which is up the country from the Skellig.

I think if you understand what the image represents then it makes a deeply emotional scene even more resonant.

The scene I'm referring to is Luke's death.

As he looks to the horizon, to the suns, we view him from the interior of the First Jedi Temple. The sunset aligns with the passageway into the ancient sanctuary, illuminating it as he becomes one with the Force.

As for Newgrange, every year during the Winter Solstice it aligns with the sunrise. The coldest, darkest, wettest, most miserable time of the year on a North Atlantic island where it is often cold, wet, and miserable even in the summer. And the sun comes up even then, and on a cloudless morning a beam of sunlight travels down the corridor and illuminates the chamber inside the mound.

You guys can see this, right? The similarity of the images? The line of light on the floor?

Luke's death scene is beautiful but I think it's a thousand times more moving with this visual context. Luke's sequel arc isn't merely populated by a lore and iconography that honour the place where the end of his story was filmed, I think that incorporation of that history and mythology honours Luke.

We don't know for sure what the Neolithic people believed, religion-wise. We know next to nothing about their rituals. We know that there were ashes laid to rest at Newgrange. There is some speculation that the idea was that the sun coming into the place that kept those ashes brought the spirits of those deceased people over to the other side.

It's also almost impossible not to interpret the sunlight coming into Newgrange as an extraordinary expression of hope. If you know this climate, at this latitude, you know how horrible the winter is. We don't even have the benefit of crispy-snowwy sunlit days. It's grey and it's dark and it's often wet. And every single year the earth tilts back and the days get long again.

The cycle ends and begins again. Death and rebirth. And hope, like the sun, which though unseen will always return. And so we make it through the winter, and through the night.

As it transpired the worries about the impact of the Star Wars Sequels upon Skellig Michael were unfounded. There was no damage caused that visitors wouldn't have also caused. There also wasn't a large uptick in people wanting to visit because of its status as a SW location, in part I think because the sequels just aren't that beloved.

But they're beloved to me, in no small part because of the way they treated a built heritage very dear to my heart. I think they deserve respect for that at the least.

[ghelgheli]

Stuff I Read In July 2024

bold indicates favourites

Books

Nazi Literature in the Americas, Roberto Bolaño

Antwerp, Roberto Bolaño

Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler

Parable of the Talents, Octavia Butler

In an Abusive State, Kristin Bumiller

Short Fiction

Founding Father, Isaac Asimov

Exile to Hell, Isaac Asimov

Key Item, Isaac Asimov

Queer &c.

Science Fiction Double Feature: Trans Liberation on Twin Earth, B.R. George & R.A. Briggs [link]

King’s Member, Queen’s Body: Transsexual Surgery, Self-Demand Amputation and the Somatechnics of Sovereign Power, Susan Stryker & Nikki Sullivan

Much Ado About Nothing: Unmotivating "Gender Identity", E.M. Hernandez & Rowan Bell [link]

We Are All Nonbinary, Kadji Amin [link]

An Orientalist History of Transmisogyny, Julianna Neuhouser [link]

Where Is My Place in the World? Early Shoujo Manga Portrayals of Lesbianism, Fujimoto Yukari [link]

Alice in Monsterland, Gilles Dauvé [link]

Manchester Medieval Society: Guest Post: ‘Weaponed’ men, impotent men, and ‘not-men’: sex and manhood in Anglo-Saxon England, Chris Monk [link]

Mapping the Margins: Intersectionality, Identity Politics, and Violence against Women of Color, Kimberlé Crenshaw [link]

Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist’s Response, Audre Lorde [link]

Palestine

‘I’m bored, so I shoot’: The Israeli army’s approval of free-for-all violence in Gaza, Oren Ziv [link]

We Volunteered at a Gaza Hospital. What We Saw Was Unspeakable. Mark Perlmutter & Feroze Sidhwa [link]

Elements of Anti-Semitism, Jake Romm [link]

Paradoxical Modernity: Pasolini and Israele, Nicola Perugini [link]

Pol/History

Unknowable: Against an Indigenous Anarchist Theory, Ya’iishjááshch’ilí [link]

The Street, the Sponge, and the Ultra, Paul Amar [link]

Camatte: A propos capital, Jacques Camatte [link]

Enslaved Children in Portuguese India, 1550-1760, Patricia Souza de Faria [link]

Kamala Harris’s “American Journey”: Caste, Global Mobility & State Power, Tanvi Kohli [link]

"What, To The Slave, Is The Fourth Of July", Frederick Douglass [link]

Dev Bio

The attention span myth, Maria Panagiotidi [link]

Innateness and Canalization, André Ariew [link]

An evaluation of the concept of innateness, Matteo Mameli & Patrick Bateson [link]

The Vernacular Concept of Innateness, Paul Griffiths & Edouard Machery [link]

Other

Nihei Tsutomu and the Poetics of Space: Notes Toward a Cyberpunk Ecology, Keith Leslie Johnson [link]

Speculative Architectures in Comics, Francesco-Alessio Ursini [link]

In Defence of Critique: Let People Enjoy Not Enjoying Things, Charlie Squire [link]

Nietzsche is Dead, Meredith Hindley [link]

Hegel on the Kant-Laplace Hypothesis and the Moral Postulates, Colin Bodayle [link]

Let's Ride: Art history after Black studies, Huey Copeland, Sampada Aranke, & Faye R. Gleisser [link]