#pathetic and literal monster/god (not that one)

[rotteneldritchhorror]

I feel like it’s very indicative of my personality that I’m pretty sure my favourite characters from the hatchetfield are Richie Lipschitz and sir Wiggog Y’Wrath

A pathetic little meow meow trans-coded cringefail weeb who dies tragically

And a cthulu-esque god of wrath who speaks uwu, has tentacles, uses capitalism to incite a violent apocalypse, comes in adorable plushie form AND a tumblr sexyman form and giggles like a maniac

[teamfortresstwo]

In a life swap AU rather than just a role swap I think it would be sooo fucked up if Patroclus swapped with Theseus and Achilles with Asterius

[warthogreporter]

A second look at the human fucker community on monster tumblr

🧜‍♀️ Hermaid Follow

After a while you start to notice some trends in how people talk about fucking their hoomans

Vampires: This is Brother Reginald Regicus Regicum who I slowly corrupted and tempted with earthly desires across several long years until he became a creature of the night like myself. We're throwing his one year vampirization party in a month, here's the invite, if you don't come it's a personal insult, to me.

Orcs: This is Himby the Himbo who I snagged in some raid I did because I got bored on my way to the grocery store. It's funny when I make him wear cat ears.

🐻 Beard-Toucher Follow

Demons: These are Sir Good and Sir Goody. I make them wear matching collars because of how they were all but boyfriends before I enthralled them with my dark magic. You noticed their matching collars right?

Werewolves: You'll never believe this, but my human Stucky, who used to be called Lady Stuck Up, was actually a repressed and stuck up person before I helped her embrace her wild side TM.

🐍 Scaled-Scales-Scaling-Scales Follow

Naga: ...Anyway after spending 400,000 years praying I finally met the human who is the love of my life and we recited mantras together, after 200,000,000 years of this we began to *blushes* hold hands and then the gods...

Other kinds of dragons: This is King Dragonslayer the Unfucked. I use him as a display stand for my jewels when not fucking him.

(164,597 Notes)

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

Showing the humans parts of their world they've never seen (the depths).

(9,846 Notes)

🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow

Man humans really are such pathetic creatures

🐎 Seventaur-deactivated20230527 Follow

Stop reblogging this as a human fucker post! I advocate for exterminating those pests! It's literally in my bio! Human Fuckers DNI!

👿PazuzuOfficial✅ Follow

Hey OP we need to 'talk' IRL. Don't bother turning on your location, I already know it.

(369 Notes)

🐺 HereWolf Follow

Seeing elves in human fucker communities is always such a "bro thinks he's on the team" moment. Oh yeah you're so different from humans with your pointy ears and... oh right that's literally it.

🛣️Elf-Hater Follow

Elves are like humans but lame and pretentious, even lame and pretentious humans are better. Eying a 'human' only to notice pointy ears is like biting into a blueberry muffin thinking it's a chocolate muffin, if blueberries tasted like shit.

🧝Elfeven Follow

🥺

🪓Orcasionally-Really-Cranky Follow

If it makes you feel better I fuck both humans and elves, just got back from a raid where I scored plenty of elves to make into my obedient little whores.

🧝Elfeven Follow

That doesn't make me feel better.

(685,734 Notes)

🦅Feathery Follow

Finally going to an actual human town. What do human eggs look like? Don't want to cause any problems by mistake.

🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow

People on this webbed site will really just say anything about hoomans huh?

🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow

OP, humans don't lay eggs. It's weird that you thought they did. They're mammals.

🦅Feathery Follow

I thought they were like platypi no need to get up my ass about this

🐂 No-Yournotaur Follow

Okay you know what fair.

(5,873 Notes)

🦋 Gregory-Grigori Follow

I'd say good morning, but I didn't wake up with a beautiful human on each side of me so actually it was yet another mid morning.

(4,384 Notes)

Click here for part 1 and here for part 3 and here for the Christmas special

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer Park Steve AU part 4

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

September

He doesn’t talk to the Munsons much. (Doesn’t talk to anyone, really, aside from his mom and Robin and that one older woman who keeps renting and returning Gone With The Wind as an excuse to leave her house.) He keeps his head down and his nose clean, doesn’t care to make friends with the neighbors; just wants to get by.

One day Eddie approaches their door, waving a gas bill that got mixed up in their mail, and Steve greets him pleasantly enough.

“Stab anyone today?”

“Eat glass, Harrington.”

So it goes.

Steve watches the world pass and the weather turn, lets the hours bleed into weeks and squeezes his eyes shut against the flashbacks when they threaten to overwhelm.

Things with his mom are weird.

They don’t really speak, preferring to shrug their way past each other with careful, tight-lipped nods, and his mom takes these pills the doctor gave her that keep her perfectly pleasant and calm. Silent. Physically present but not really here.

And he can’t imagine how it feels to be her: Florence Harrington, ripped from the comforts of the upper crust and left to rot in a tin can seven miles across town. She spends most of her time letting out weary little sighs as she swans from room to room, drifting like a shade on the banks of the River Styx. (He can make that reference now because Robin won’t shut up about mythology. “It’s so gay, Steve. The Greeks were literally so gay.”)

Anyway.

Shit’s weird with the kids, too. He still drives them around — lets them loiter at Family Video when it’s slow; hangs around when they need a ride to the arcade or the movies or the skating rink; and he’s still on the hook for ‘ice cream. for. life,’ so…

It’s just not the same.

Like. Not to be dramatic, but who the fuck is Steve Harrington without the house and the pool and the free-for-all fridge? Just some kid with a car and a bat and a punchable face. And he can barely afford to keep the car now, anyway, so pretty soon they won’t need him for that, either. They’ll learn to drive; they’ll get their own jobs. Maybe Lucas builds enough muscle to take over as the party tank.

Maybe it’s better if he shelfs himself now before they realize he’s become obsolete.

“Oh, my god, you’re being pathetic,” he groans to himself. His voice is muffled where he’s lying face down on the couch. Ridiculous behavior, because everything is fine; Steve is fine. In the grand scheme of things where there are monsters and melted corpses and all kinds of crazy, horrible shit?

Yeah.

He’s being obnoxious. It’s a lovely sunny Saturday afternoon with just the right Autumn breeze going — gentle but cool; long sleeve polo weather; his favorite kind — and he’s sitting inside throwing himself a pity party.

Fucking absurd.

…Five more minutes.

Just five more minutes, then he’s getting off this couch.

He gets to a minute and a half when he hears the crunch of tires against the gravel, the clanging of a little bell from the handlebar of a bike, and then:

“STEVE!!!”

And that’ll be Dustin, trying to bang the door off the hinges and piss off the whole park at the same time. Kid’s nothing if not a multitasker. Steve lets another aggrieved groan loose into the couch cushion.

His mom’s out with the car; the lights are all off. Maybe he can just play dead ‘til Dustin leaves? He loves the kid, he really does, but his left ear is full of static, and he just wants to fucking sleep. Or sulk. Or both.

“STEVEN CHRISTOPHER, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE.”

Jeeeeesus Christ. “Okay, chill,” Steve grumbles as he hauls himself upright and throws open the front door. His limbs feel like lead; there’s drool on his chin. “Wake the whole goddamn neighborhood, why don’t you?”

“It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Yeah, and half the people here work nights.”

“Oh-kayy,” Dustin drags out the word, “but you don’t.”

Ugh. Whatever. He’s not gonna be shamed by a toothless teenager for his depressing loser tendencies. “Did you need something?”

Steve scratches at his belly hair through his shirt, feels a muscle twinge in his shoulder and send a spark of nerve pain skittering up to the base of his skull.

Dustin either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care that Steve’s body is falling apart where he stands, because he just rolls his eyes and says, “Uh, yeah. I need to know why you’re avoiding everyone? Mom’s tried to invite you to dinner six times now.”

“I was working.”

“All six times?” Dustin glares. Steve feels a little pinned by it, feels guilt seeping through the cracks as he fidgets with his bad ear. This kid’s gonna be the scariest lawyer some day. “She’s worried.”

Goddammit.

Guilt squeezes hard behind his ribs; he knows Dustin uses his mom as a mouthpiece for the feelings he can’t express. “I’m fine,” he sighs, letting his eyes and voice go soft. “Honest.”

Dustin holds firm, gaze fierce and fists clenched. “Bullshit,” he insists.

“Man, don’t—”

“Bull. Shit.”

Suddenly, their impromptu interrogation gets interrupted by a crashing drum fill, a shriek of electric guitar as Munson’s van squeals into the lot. He’s blasting some melodramatic metal shit about wizards or whatever; Steve doesn’t know. He only knows that the skitter of nerve pain he felt is ramping up to a fullblown migraine now because this guy has to listen to his racket at full fucking volume, apparently, and isn’t this all just “fucking great.”

—

part 5

[scp230kinnie]

:3 hey.

Uhm, hope I'm not overwhelming you but,

How would hyunsu and monster hyunsu react to a reader who's really unbothered by his monster side? Like lowkey they're a monster fucker type person? I especially wanna know how monster Hyun-su would react!!!

Feel free to ignore if it's too much!!!

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS THE SAME PERSON REQUESTING THESE AND ILY

Yasss okay I’m craving sweet home things (hyperfixation core)

SPOILERS FOR SWEET HOME SEASON 2 AND 3

GOD HES SO FINE

Cha Hyun-Su x monsterfucker reader headcanons

Cringe ass name but it’s funny as hell😭

Not smut just saying😒 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴s

Once again not proofread, many hours of not sleeping and an insane sweet home hyperfixation

Probably ooc but I don’t care

We’re gonna say reader is human in this

The monster side of him would be hella confused

After a while he would lowkey be kind of into it maybe?

In season 2, right after the whole monsters and humans can’t coexist thing he would try to distance himself a little bit, but ultimately it wouldn’t work cause we r determined as hell

It would take some getting used to, but eventually he’d realize that you’re not just using him

LETS SAY YOURE TAKING THE PLACE OF EUN-YU OKAY (I’m getting excited I need to tone it down)

Okay so the monster version of him realizes that you are one of his desires, and since human him wants to protect you, so does monster him

Ofc at first he would think that the human version of himself is weak and pathetic for liking/caring about you

Eventually, like in s3, he realizes that since one side of him likes you, he couldn’t hurt you

I feel like monster hyun-su would be almost… possessive? At least once he gets used to everything?

Human hyun-su would be a lot more careful.

He’d feel a little surprised that you are unbothered by his monster side and still like him

I don’t wanna say he’d distance himself, cause he definitely still wants to be close to you, but he would keep you at a safe distance.

One where you can still be close to him, but so that he can’t accidentally hurt you

He would however be really grateful that you still like him despite the monster side.

This poor man just needs a break bro

You would need to convince him that you’re 100% sure you’re unbothered by his monster side

Needs an insane amount of reassurance

If he accidentally hurt you in his monster form he would actually never forgive himself

I feel like if you met within season 1, he’d trust you a lot more, for a few reasons idk

But if you met in s2/s3, it would take a little bit more convincing, even if you do somehow bond that quickly

Nevermind I forgot season 2 is literally like the span of a year I’m sure it’s fine

Ultimately both his monster side and human side are grateful you still like/love him and care for him

——————————————

Sorry if this is shit

That man is absolutely majestic dear lawrd

More sweet home requests pls I’ll smooch everyone

[ouroborosorder]

Hi! As someone newer to ak, I would actually really love a “rawest Ak lines” list if u don’t mind sharing!

Okay so if I *did* run this, I would have to crowdsource some, because I haven't read everything, and I don't always remember to update my document when I do read shit. So my list is extremely biased, extremely incomplete, and very all over the fucking place. Do not take this as a comprehensive list, but rather just some of my favorites:

Patriot: "Rhodes Island. I will advance." A classic. A legend. A salsa that everyone at the table can enjoy.

Rosmontis: "You didn't want to die alone. You want to be remembered by me, and live on within me. But no. I came here just to watch you die. And now, I've forgotten you."

Eblana: "You'll remember me, shapeshifter. Your long and refractory memory will have chapters that belong to me." (not the official translation but I'm using this one because it goes SOOOO much harder)

Andoain: "I would rather be the torch that burns by the feet of those who are freezing to death. Even if its flame will soon be extinguished."

In game boss description text for Kristen Wright: Egotist. Betrayer. Seeker. Loner. Pioneer. Goodnight, Terra.

and of course, Woodrow: "May this bullet forgive what my heart cannot."

and then of course, Stultifera Navis, which has so many it was basically a contest to see who got the coolest line before the event ended. I have literally 8 lines in my notes document, my favorites being:

Irene: "You have not sinned in any way. The Holy Scriptures do not even mention your existence. Right now it is only I, as an Iberian, who is handing down this verdict. The scourge of the seas must be wiped out. You have no right to live. In the name of Iberia."

Carmen: “You, and your pathetic ideas, will be buried in Iberia. Before your last breath, be sure to pass on our thunderous roar to your kin. ‘The sea faces an ancient enemy called civilization, one you stand no chance of overcoming.'”

Captain Alfonso: “Remember this well, Irene! Return to land and sing the praises of Alfonso's feats! The last monster that Alfonso slew... was himself!”

Ulpianus: “If you care about the word of God, then so be it. The Seaborn are not gods, nor are their forefathers. I have seen how your gods die, their screams coursing through the currents, their flesh and blood smeared across abyssal ravines.”

I think for the sake of the hypothetical bracket, I'd probably want to limit it to one line per event before the entire thing is consumed entirely by just Stultifera Navis

[syrupfog]

AU where Sanji never actually left Germa, and Judge made him a test subject early on, successfully getting rid of his empathy after years of torture.

But like, he has those years of bullying from his brothers first, and his empathy’s gone but his anger’s still there. Also with no Zeff, he fights with his fists and doesn’t treat women Like That. Because Zeff’s the one who instilled in him to never hit a woman (and made it weird but that’s not the point).

He’s out on some mission in the Grand Line when he runs into the Straw Hats and he sees Zoro’s green hair and associates it with Yonji and he just haaaates him on sight.

The fight is super evenly matched and Zoro manages to knock him out eventually but he’s like what’s the guy’s DEAL. Wtf is his problem.

Maybe Law’s with them when it goes down and he recognizes that costume and fanboys…

Oh actually yeah— Law’s with them! And after Zoro knocks him out, Law goes into Creepy Surgeon Mode and is like for the love of god please let me get my fingers in that chest cavity

And everyone else (bar Robin ofc) is like Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

But Law gets a room going and finds all sort of odd Germa technology literally implanted in him and starts pulling it out and messing with it and suddenly Sanji wakes UP and he’s— he’s scared. And overwhelmed. He’s in real time having to reckon with years of torturing people.

And Law’s like oh the emotional part of this is not in my pay grade this is not my job anymore and dips.

So Sanji’s there in the Sunny’s infirmary like “I’m a monster I need to be put down oh my god” and Luffy shows up like HEY you’re cool as hell join my crew.

Zoro is not a fan of this option and also it turns out neither is Sanji BUT sanji has nowhere to go so he makes a deal to sail with them until the next habitable island. So Zoro watches him like a hawk bc he’s like “you’re definitely faking this and are gonna turn evil and try to kill people again right”

But instead he just keeps finding Sanji being really pathetic and sad and looking longingly at the kitchen (Robin doubles as the cook and her food is damn near inedible but that’s just the life of a pirate innit)

Late one night Zoro comes off watch and he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and he thinks OH he’s going to try to POISON US so he sneaks in after him and confronts him, swords and all. And Sanji, who knows what an awful person he’s been and knows he deserves death, just starts crying and is like “yeah you can kill me just let me cook one thing once I just want to remember what it feels like”

So Zoro lets him cook, and is like yeah I’m killing you after this, and Sanji spends a long time sniffling as he re-familiarizes himself with pots and pans and spices and knives and ends up making something garlic-y and delicious that smells strong enough to wake up the crew, and everyone traipses in enraptured by the smell. So Sanji serves them and Zoro tries it first because if it’s poisoned he’s not letting EVERYONE go down. But it’s not poisoned and it’s really good, and anyway Zoro can’t kill him now in front of everyone.

But three nights later the same thing happens— he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and follows him and Sanji says “I know you should’ve killed me last time but you couldn’t, I get that, but I’m dangerous. So let me cook just one more time and then you can kill me.”

And it doesn’t happen of course. Everyone comes in and everyone eats and Zoro watches Sanji recover a little of himself.

And so it goes. At first every few nights and then every other night, and then every single night.

And whenever Zoro comes in, Sanji says, I know I deserve to die but let me cook just one more thing.

And at some point Zoro stops thinking about killing Sanji. He’s a part of the crew now. He’s proving himself, and anyway Zoro can beat him and hold him down and Law can reverse whatever it is again if needs be.

So it’s just a thing they do. Zoro lightly threatens him and Sanji begs for his life and they move on. It’s routine but it doesn’t actually MEAN anything anymore.

That is, until one really bad night where Sanji doesn’t show up in the kitchen like he always does, and Zoro goes looking and finally finds him deep in the steerage, and Sanji says, “I can’t keep living like this, please just kill me. I can’t keep living knowing I’m going to die the next day.”

And Zoro’s like ???? You’re not gonna die the next day wtf

And Sanji says, please, just get it over with.

Zoro realizes that Sanji has continued all this time assuming Zoro really is coming to kill him every night

But it’s been MONTHS at this point. Surely he wouldn’t still think—

But Sanji’s wracked with more than a decade’s worth of guilt, is so sure he deserves the worst the world possibly has to offer.

Too bad Zoro’s a little in love with him at this point. And says anyone who wants to kill Sanji will have to go through Zoro first.

Which Sanji DOESNT UNDERSTAND and he doesn’t understand the kiss Zoro follows it up with, but he returns it. Greedily.

Because as much as he knows he deserves death, he also relishes every moment of life, every chance to feel the emotions he wasn’t allowed. And Zoro goes from jailer to protector in his mind. Slowly. Hesitantly.

He spends years working through the trauma, decades really, but the simplicity with which Zoro sees the world helps. Zoro doesn’t blame him. Zoro loves him. Sanji doesn’t know much but he knows he’ll defend this ship that saved him with his life.

And he knows Zoro wouldn’t let Sanji defend HIM with his life, because Zoro views his life as precious and important.

Which is something Sanji is still learning.

He’ll get there.

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Okay so I have a request 😭 at some point could you PLEASSEEEE make a series where it’s Anakin x reader with bipolar? I’m pretty sure Anakin already suffers from borderline but I personally suffer from bipolar and 1. Could be such good angst , 2. Anakin could literally be insane and the reader would probably want to be around him bc bipolar sometimes craves danger, and 3. I feel like it would be really nice to see Anakin comfort a bipolar reader during a really bad episode where they’re like hysterical and then manic

(I’m so sorry this was so long)

Yes, Anakin has been diagnosed with BPD by many therapists!

That’s part of the reason I love him so much. I also have BPD and I really resonate with him. Because I get it you know? He’s obsessive, he will do ANYTHING for his Favorite Person.

He’d even spill blood.

The way it would pain him so deeply to see his FP in such anguish… he’ll punch a wall and cry about it later but right then he’ll be emotionless, he’d put on the best mask of comfort he could so he could soak up all your pain and take it away.

I got carried away. Oops. Warnings: inner monologue of: Self pity, gaslighting, verbal abuse, depression, self deprecation, co-dependency, death/suicide

He’d be so strong and solid for you because you need him, but internally he’d be shattered. What if he caused your episode? What if you leave him some day when you’re manic and feral for change no matter what the consequences are? What if you never loved him in the first place and he made it all up and somehow you’ve just went along with it this whole time? What if he doesn’t actually love you and he’s just been using you because you’re vulnerable and you make him feel needed and important?

Isn’t he just some attention hungry monster? He did this to you didn’t he? He triggered this episode for the simple fact that you would be in pain, you would be dependent, you would be reliant, you would see that there is no way you could leave him because he’s the only one who can handle you. You’ll see that won’t you?

God he’s just insane isn’t he? What a sick fuck. Treating you this way for personal gain. To hell with the fact that sometimes a Bipolar episode just sneaks up on you without a reason at all. Anakin knows he did this to you. Even if he didn’t… he’s still a horrible piece of shit because he can’t fix it for you.

Or even worse: what if he’s being used? What if you are playing him and he’s been too blind with infatuation to see it? That’s what’s happening isn’t it? You’ve fucking taken advantage of his kindness, his selflessness, his undying and unconventional love for you. You’re faking it.

When you snap out of this ‘episode’ he’ll lay into you about your true intentions with him. He’d call you out on your selfishness.

He’s better than this. He deserves more than this, can’t you get that through your thick fucking skull? How could you be so stupid? How could you be so dense? Did you truly believe he actually cared about you? No, he just felt sorry for you.

He felt so fucking sorry for you. Pathetic little clingy thing. He’s given and given and given to you and you’ve been nothing but ungrateful. You didn’t even try to get better for him. You rejected his help and this is the last fucking straw. He’s given you every chance, he’s given you everything.

Oh god he’s given you his entire soul. He’s laid his entire being out onto a platter for you to pick apart and terrorize but you’ve done… the opposite. You’ve coddled him when he didn’t deserve it. You made him happy when the world around him was devoid of anything but insufferable, heavy, suffocating despair. You were the light at the end of the long, cold tunnel.

And he’d almost extinguished you.

You were the key to every emotion he couldn’t attain on his own. You kept his happiness, his love, his joy, his contentment, his comfort, his calm.

Without you he’d be nothing.

You should leave. You should run. You should leave.

You should change your name and flee the country because he would stop at nothing to prove himself to you again.

He needs you. You are the air he breathes and the blood in his veins. You are perfect, pure, angelic.

You are heaven on earth and he is a demon walking through the flesh world.

You deserved better. You needed better. You know you deserve better.

But you won’t leave him because you are too kind and loving, you are so sweet and caring. You won’t ever stop. You won’t let him hide. You won’t let him believe he is unloved. You won’t allow him to crawl into himself and go mute. You won’t allow him to let his mind go blank and his flesh move about on autopilot. You won’t allow him to convince himself that he is unworthy.

You won’t give up on him.

And that’s why he has to leave. Permanently. That’s the only way you’ll ever be truly happy and free. He won’t be there to feel the all consuming sorrow every fucking day. He won’t be there to make you watch him drown, suffer as he claws at the surface of the water. So fucking close to air and unable to reach it. So, when he gives up, he won’t drag you down and force you to wallow at the bottom of the lake of despair with him. He won’t suction the life out of you anymore.

He’s selfishly sponged up every drop of life you’ve given him and he knows you must be exhausted from the never ending battle of trying to make him feel human.

It’s better this way. Maybe you’ll meet in the next life and things will be different. Or maybe your soul will recognize his and urge you to escape as quickly as possible. Either way, in this life, Anakin is setting you free.

Because if you love something, you should let it go.

You should let him go.

Don’t cry for him when you find him, feel the sweet relief of all your pain having died with him.

After all, he did this for you.

[dykekarkat]

less than 10 mins out of my princess mononoke rewatch and this is what im feeling aftg au wise. of course i would be fucking around with characterization and backgrounds and yada yada, but i love this movie so bad like so so bad so i must aftg ify it. also because this is what inspired me in the first place checkout @aresinner's mononoke andreil art here :)

neil - ashitaka but make him more of an asshole

yakul - yakul. he's my favorite character i love this fucking elk so much i refuse to change him. he's perfection already.

andrew - san / princess mononoke. like cmon this was always gonna be it.

bee - moro. sad face :(

nicky and aaron - the wolf pups obvi

kevin - the deer god (shout out @sleepy-aletheas for this one)

the trojans - ashitaka's village from the beginning

nathan - nago bcus he's always shortening neil's lifespan fr

riko - jiko but more pathetic and validation hungry. the scouts would be the ravens and jean would get a special raven scout character made by me. bcus i love him.

renee - lady ebisu. listen. LISTEN. originally i thought about this being ichirou bcus emperor as moriyama and stuff. but like. lady ebisu NEEEDS to be a woman. and i think renee could do it. she has the range she literally has the range are u seeing my vision its like pre stephanie renee and then end of the movie its foxhole renee. also andrew renee hatred killing murder dynamic interests me greatly.

wymack - lady ebisu's guard but less pathetic and more wise advisor esque

dan - toki. dont even PLAYYYY thats dan fr.

matt - kuroku. bcus danmatt marriage real forever and always

allison and seth would also be ironworks villagers we are going ham on the upperclassmen vs monsters vibes okay.

the blind boar god i forgot his name - honestly torn...thought about him being stuart so that all the boars are like. criminal syndicates but idk. also thought about wymack cus who else would andrew be tryna save that badly.

anyway willing to take suggestions here we are #workshopping PLEASEEEE ASK ME THINGS ABOUT THIS PLEAAAASSSSEEEEEE

[danepopfrippery]

Ive had a chance to chill and think and id like to add forget nandermo right. Ok the last season fucked EVERYONE over.

Tbh they couldve had Colin take a dump onscreen and itd have been less a fuck u to fans.

From least offensive to worst:

Only one who came out close to decent was Colin. But they left so many stupid threads. He beat the piss out of guillermo once just cuz i guess? He still doesnt remember Laszlo being his dad, and the one friend he thought he had resents him cuz his wife wants him.

Laszlo would be second least bad. He did have a really great emotional ep with his dad issues, and he and Colin working together was sweet. But Laszlo treated monster bad after being a good dad to colin. The end. The only two consistencies is he loves his wife and he can be a right idiot when feuding.

But im pretending rosemarys baby was the real end so he and Nadja both got pregnant and had their sons. Love it.

Id place Nandor here but the Guide thing was such fucking left field and they stuck with it til the end. Otherwise him enjoying pointless work and being hurt and running away is on track.

Then Guillermo. What a wasted god damned season. Is Jordan a vampire? Who knows. What did Miguel have to say on the ride home? Who knows. Literally nothing learned or gained here.

Sean got a really weird half storyline. I believe hes that big of a drunken lout. No gains here either.

Nadja had another season of being loud and obnoxious. Playing human was fun (incl ruining the banana phone joke) but the fails were cringey. Nadja is smart and capable, they havent given her much since the nightclub. The end. Also for no reason she has a lot of buckets and pillows (but again i did like the Rosemarys baby ending).

Then the Guide….no one got fucked over harder then the Guide.

She hasnt had a purpose since the Vampiric Council in 3. They made her full time and promptly Meg’d her character (meg from family guy who is treated like shit). Ok nightclub stuff was tolerable, esp being acab.

Then she becomes a nag trying to trick Nadja and make them let her in. Shes whiny and pathetic. Instead of talking to her one friend Guillermo she sets a trap.

By open of 6 shes barely found. Until Nandor decides right here and now he wants her bad. She wisely refuses and we never get an answer why the sleep hypnosis brought that idea on. She works for Jerry off screen and leaves the credits.

Shes fine in the revenge ep and fun when she tells Nandor to fuck off. Suddenly she doesnt even count as Guillermo’s friend (office party) and the last we see of her shes whiny and suddenly magafv. Thats basically the last line i think?! For her anyway.

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 2 MATCH 20

Damien propaganda:

“I LOVE DAMIEN LAVEY A LOT !! he is such a silly gremlin of a guy I love him + he is my favourite character ever actually. He's the prince of the 8th circle of hell and his dads are the kings and they all love eachother a lot, it's really silly. when he was younger, to rebel he literally broke off one of his horns so that's why he has . one and a half.

he's really into drag, one of his endings in Prom is about how he wanted to do something with make-up/hair etc as a career but he felt as if his dads wanted him to solely take over as king of the 8th circle BUT that wasn't the case. at the end of the ending his dad's r like "what you can do what you want". ALSO we see him in drag in Monster Roadtrip and oh great heavens.

He is so silly. he has horrible . wilderness. instincts ...? because of the whole prince thing and it's really pathetic I love him. 

I could go on and on oh my god . one final thing uh also in roadtrip during one of the talks at the rest stop with him he calls you (the player) a silly dumbass and OHHH MY GOD I went bonkers I love him a lot”

“He's v cool and acts tough, but has a secret passion for hairstyling and make up that he hides cus he doesn't want to disappoint his dads who want him to rule over hell after them. Also he constantly commits arson, so that's fun :)”

Alistair propaganda:

“I love his puns and sarcasm. He may be kinda dumb and like the epitome of boring white boy to some people, but i just love the humour he brings to the party.”

[pulchrasilva]

Polyslayers is completely insane like. Person who fashioned themself into a machine whose sole purpose is to kill the gods, with demonic imagery and a ruthless devotion to that purpose, before whom divine monsters kneel. Person who fashioned their whole being off of a vision to replace the literal gods, with unparalleled beauty and an ability to sweet talk anyone, who consumes the souls of gods with their weapon and instrument. And then there's their pathetic blorbo that they found in a tavern one time

[scp230kinnie]

:3 IT'S ME AGAIN HEYYYU

SOOOO HYUNSU, BOTH MONSTER AND HUMAN SIDE'S REACTION TO A READER WHO'S NORMALLY SHY BUT WITH A MONSTER SIDE THAT'S ALL OVER HIM.

Like the monster side literally adores him and likes to annoy his monsters.

And also the monster side being a bad bitch in general cause we slay.

Again, feel free to ignore.

IM GONNA MARRY YOU FOR LEAVING ALL THESE LMFAO WHOEVER YOU ARE

Back from my five hour long hiatus (nap) and now back to my day job

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2/3 OF SWEET HOME

Cha Hyun-Su x half monster clingy reader

Idk vro that’s the best title ur getting

Probably ooc but I don’t care

Starting with general if/when you turned hcs, and will gradually get into the main plot

Once he saw the signs of you turning into a monster he was extremely worried

He didn’t know if you’d be able to control it, like him, or if you’d turn fully into a monster like most of the people he’s seen before

And because he’s seen so many people turn and die painfully, he wants to make sure you don’t

Once he saw that you were able to control it, even at least a little bit, he was so relieved, and wanted to do everything he could to help you

He knows that since you’re a monster, (I’m not calling them special infectees fuck right off😭) you can’t really get hurt/die for the most part

But he still likes to keep you at a safe distance just to make sure his monster side doesn’t accidentally hurt you

(Not too far tho :3)

He always knew you were shy, so he knew that trying to teach you to control it would be a little bit difficult

That was, until you were in your monster form.

In your monster form, you were a lot more clingy towards him, which came as a stark contrast to your usual shy, closed off demeanour.

Not that he minds, he just finds it to be kind of a surprise

In his human form, he’s not scared of you accidentally hurting him or something as a monster

In his human form, he loves to let you cling to him

It reminds him that you’re still you despite the infection

This man can protect himself for sure. But let’s say you and him are doing whatever, maybe walking around, you’re both in human form and a (hostile) monster shows up.

His immediate thought is to protect you, because even though you can turn into a monster yourself, he forgets.

He goes to protect you, his monster side takes over (cause let’s say one of his desires is protecting you okay hear me out)

And then you, wanting to protect him, or show that you can defend yourself, or who know why , turn into your monster form and fend off the monster in some badass way

God damn. Maybe his human side is surprised but the monster side, if bro was out and saw that. You earned respect

The monster side of him has seen you before the transformation. All shy or whatever. He is also quite surprised when you turn and all of a sudden you’re all up on him

At first his monster side would probably push you away a little bit like “wtf is bro doing who are you”

Sometimes his monster side is a lil emo and has to be a lone wolf or something, but when you show up as a monster and follow him around and doing to him eventually he realizes you probably won’t stop until you turn back

His monster side pulls the whole “how pathetic and weak” thing when you cling to him, and you just go right ahead and let your monster self argue that

No matter how much you adore him as a monster, you can and will win a fight/argument against him

Maybe sometimes he lets you win. So what, a win is a win?

When your human side is out and you’re back to your shy self, both sides of him kind of miss your monster side

He likes feeling loved

—————————————————————

Um so sorry if this sucks

Hyun-su is the definition of this tweet

Tips on how to stop HEALING piercings from falling out r greatly appreciated thanks

Everyone should leave sweet home requests yes yes I do most if not all characters

[tokoyamisstuff]

gn! Reader | general NSFW warning | not proofread

Poor guy has to keep up with enhanced humans and literal monsters😭

But I think he's fairly skilled, especially with his hands...👀 plus he's a master at massage even without an ulterior motive hehe.

It's hard to define how religious he truly is. While he does believe in god, he sees the Vatican as means to his goal more than anything. But he tends to bend the faith's rule to his will, due to his childhood trauma doing anything outside of wedlock is a no-go for him. Expect to be dragged in front of the altar before even thinking to get naughty, and even then he's adamant to always use protection.

I think if youre one oft the few if not the only person he truly cares about he's gonna be very clingy. Not upfront, not in a romantic way that would make him seem vulnerable, but he'd definetly tryna find excuses to keep you at his side.

Sex is his way of telling you things he's unable to put into words. That's also the reason he's very touchy and ready to sleep with you at any time. Years of loneliness made him needy and starved for affection, preferable the physical kind, since this kind of intimacy comes easier to him.

Let's be fr this guy is pathetic, I just know he cries afterwards. Hey, at least now you know how to get him to open up.

Is into cockwarming for similar reasons. It makes him feel as close as possible to you to be buried inside as if you were made just for him. Does it even without being in the mood, the sensation is just somewhat comforting, reminding him you're there.

Is pretty selfish during the act, but lucky for you he's great at fore- and afterplay, so you definetly get your fill either way.

Has a severe degradation kink, wanting to show authority to make up for his inferiority complex. He'd never do anything off your limits, but damn he does indulge in humiliating you. Damn he can get rough, sending vile insults your way while forcing his cock down your throat like you're some kind of toy.

Into cum-play as well. No matter where, chest, mouth, belly, gushing out your hole...he loves to see you ruined with his seed. Tends to stuff it back into your mouth/entrance. If you swallow it while looking him in the eye, he'll instantly be ready for round two.

Does a 180 after he's finished though. Will shower you in apologies and compliments while kissing any inch of skin he can reach.

Sadly he's a busy man and his work always comes first, but he'll find ways to make up for it. Is surprisingly good at sexting and keeps a lot of indecent photos of you hidden on his phone. Snaps them whenever you look especially enticing during the act, and is eager to record videos too if you approve.

Phone-sex with this man is surely pleasant, to hear him whisper orders and other profanities in his smooth voice. Gosh.

Likes to have keepsakes from you while away longer, for example one of your panties. Keeps it in his pocket and lets his fingers run through it whenever he thinks of you. No need to tell you what he does with it when he misses you to much, dirty guy.

Definetly able to multitask. Get used to him being mentally absent while still fucking you stupid easily. Takes you from behind and suddenly puts a piece of paper on your back to write down a note for his sermon or something lmao.

Does buy you new outfits or toys to try out regulary.

Is pretty upfront about this forbidden affair in general. Corruption at the catholic church runs deep, and he is a very influental man. So he can basically do whatever he wants and no one dares punishing or even calling him out.

Also loves the thrill of public sex, especially when you suck him off during meetings. I'm pretty sure half of the attendees know you're there but they're too scared/shocked/embarassed to say something. I seriously think at some point he'd just grab you by the hair and continues to fuck you on the table while continuing the meeting as if it was nothing. After all, he likes showing off what he owns...they shouldn't stare at you too much, though, if they want to keep living.

[tewwor]

sea creature affairs starter call — well, the folks have spoken. cracking this waterlogged bad boy back open for anyone that wants a bit of nautical horror. everyone listed below resides ( or at least calls ) harborview their home. totally a small coastal town that's 10000% normal and not inhabited by strange things from the nearby sea. creatures of which that were made or in the very least influenced by some lone god found beneath sea foam and abyssal depths.

More sea creature lore here & additional details here!

like and specify who you'd like from habrorview's very own! if you previously liked for a starter ( and/or i already made you one ) and you want another with a different character — please comment and let me know!!! i'm more than happy to have multiple threads with these silly strange creatures.

adal — werewolf / sea creature hybrid . carpenter that's just trying his best, so soft and guilt ridden he'll help thieves clear out his own home, designated scout for any trouble brewing on the horizon as he sails most often.

altan — basilisk . angry hermit trying desperately to live in solitude, keeper of a barely functioning lighthouse, usually the first point of contact for oram when he waddles his sea monster ass back to land, immediately beams super mean things into orams head to help him remember how to speak the human language before kicking him out.

amant taylor boudreaux — human . just a guy that's been obsessed with harborview's happenings, he's dedicated his life to accurately detail not only it's citizens but also the mysterious people that return from the sea, would 1000% try to get nasty with someone just to lowkey research them, brainrot on god ( oram, even if he doesn't know that weird soggy man is the sea god responsible for all sea creatures ).

dane — ??? sea creature . marine biology professor & totally not the son of the alleged sea god, oram, is known to throw the occasional hissy fit if a traveler starts to get too nosy, ignorance is the only thing keeping his father immortal.

danny — shark sea creature . pirate smoted humbled by another god's wrath, runs a pub and very uncanny valley if you look close enough, thinks sitting by him while he soaks in the tub counts as a romantic date, probably eats people.

hugh — seal sea creature . unofficial babysitter of newly turned sea creatures, just wants to run his restaurant in peace but is usually in pieces instead, don’t ask questions if you see him throwing things off the pier.

joel — human ( for now ) . ooooo the sea creatures want him so bad, retired saturation diver, plagued with trauma / #1 harborview conspiracy theorist, main character syndrome & literally at his wits end.

lior — siren / eel sea creature hybrid . prior criminal ties, current fashionista, embodiment of 'i told you so', weirdly misses needing souls as sustenance.

oram — sea god . hunters want him, joel fears him, he barely knows wtf is going on at any time of his unfortunately long life, often found as a wet and soggy man wandering the beach, eldritch vibes all around and does little to hide it.

tatsuro watanabe — figurehead come alive . the newest of harborview’s bestiary, still trying to grasp how humans act and why, will try anything once, underestimates his strength often, lowkey something intimidating about him.

vincent — imugi . founder & #1 fan of the oram hate club, town-locked against his will, would love nothing more than to never talk to anyone but they love to bug the hell out of him, only cares about joel because he's.. struggling pathetic.

barbara davies — crocodile sea creature . calling all milf enjoyers, she's tall, she's hot, she's so goddamn strong! fabulous radio talk show host that's part of the few that tries to keep peace between sea creatures and human civilians ( off the record, of course ).

ha aera — human (?) . just your everyday humble waffle house employee, no she won't confirm nor deny questions about why or how the building seems to move from area to area, no she won't dive into the parking lot fights but she will call security, she's just tired and wants to get her shift over with.

ini shaw — sea witch . sea witch that primarily sells knots and charms for sailors. most of the time they're filled with good luck. be nasty to her and you'll get a nasty surprise back amidst your stupid voyage. maybe a fanatic over oram, but who’s to say?

jinae 'jenny' cho — human . there's a new hot wife in town and she's married to the mayor ( that hasn't been eaten by the sea creatures finally )! does she know her high school sweetheart turned husband is a sea creature? no! so pretty and so scrappy. definitely has traits of a survivalist for reasons she'd rather leave in the dark.

natori kato — seagull shapeshifter . what's that in the sky? it's a bird — correct! and said bird is torpedoing in to snatch food right out of your grubby hands. she's a certified yapper and bubble of joy. just ignore how she's got that scrappy aura about her.

spencer aka suspenders — human (?) . local kelpie wrangler & sanctuary keeper. it is much and it is really fucking honest work. you try getting your teeth almost kicked in every month by these slippery, man-eating sea horses. but he wouldn't have it any other way.

[hubristicassholefight]

Hubristic Assholes tourney Round 1 part 3a

Herbert West (Re-Animator, both book and film) vs Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein)

Propaganda below cut

Herbet

Literally has a whole monologue about defying god in the second movie. (https://youtu.be/BOt0rRhofuI?si=o7wCwAaT347jUmcp)

Playing God by defying death itself

Victor

"ouh im gonna create life from scratch and it's gonna be Pog and Slay" WRONG it wwas FUCKT . he didnt give that thang enough SKIN even . and then it killed his whole family, well he is just a silly guy .

Textbook definition of fuck around and find out. To his credit - yeah, he was a genius who sped through All Of Chemistry Classes in 2 years and revolutionized the field of natural sciences at his university while he was barely 20, arguably invented biochemistry (and then never told anyone) and created a human(ish) being from scratch (and again, never told anyone), BUT Honestly I don't even need to say anything here, I can literally just paste a direct quote: "Life and death appeared to me ideal bounds, which I should first break through, and pour a torrent of light into our dark world. A new species would bless me as its creator and source; many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me. No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs." He saw LIFE AND DEATH ITSELF as just a STARTING POINT ffs Needless to say, the "find out" stage hit him like a freight train making the rest of his life just one long trauma conga line until he died completely alone before even hitting 30 Give it up to our king of hubris, Greatest pathetic wet meow meow of gothic literature tbh

thought he could be better than God by making his own man so that he could later bring people (his mother) back to life. whole thing blew up in his face cause 1. he made it way too big and way too able to kill people 2. he immediately got scared of it and ran away 3. he left it alone without teaching it how to actually function as a human, further adding to the murderous tendencies.

Thinks making life is easy. Does not consider the life he made actually worth anything, He's like the platonic ideal of a shitty parent who wants recognition for Being A Parent without actually having the ability to care for someone else, just taken to a cartoonish extreme. Look where that got him.

Tries to create a whole ass person from scratch. It does not go well; The guy needs no introduction. Guy tries creates a whole human person cobbled together from dead bodies, breathes life into it, immediately abandons his creation, and proceeds to have his life completely destroyed when said creation goes on a rampage of revenge. Subtitle of the book is literally the 'Modern Prometheus.'

Do I really have to explain this one. He made a Guy. He played God. Then the Guy killed his entire family and (boy)friend; He is Pathetic

Victor wanted to play god. Created monster. Monster tried to kill him. Killed his brother, his gf, and his BFF, and came after him. A horror icon, and the modern archetype of the mad scientist in fiction. He's a pathetic pissbaby that needs to be punched. Cunt dies in the end get rekked lol.

I mean come on, Please he's like the guy