#past toby what the FUCK does this mean please send help

[networkunsupported]

i love having genius ideas and then opening my notes app again later to discover what ive written is in fact

incomprehensible. hm.

[sdmnluvs]

Home Town Glory- Minishaw

Disclaimer!! I know that Simon is in a very happy relationship with Talia! It’s just for entertainment purposes and to let me practice my writing. This is also posted on my Wattpad!

28 years old and he misses home more than ever. That's why he's walking the streets of Hemel Hempstead at quarter past 11 on a Friday night.

It wasn't his plan when he woke up this morning. But he had fucked up, told Harry he loved him and when Harry just stared at him he fled the flat in record worthy time.

Got back to his own flat with ignoring Harry's missed calls and texts. Grabs a bag and packs a weekends worth of clothes as Jj enters his room confused.

"You alright there Simon?" He asks dumbly as the taller runs to the bathroom to grab his toothbrush. "I-I fucked up, going home for the weekend!" He says, pulls out his phone to call an Uber. He doesn't care if it's expensive, would spend every dime in his bank account if it meant he didn't have to look at the pity his friends would throw him when they found out what he had done.

"Did something happen with Harry? Did you guys break up?" Jj asks shock evident in his voice. Everyone was sure that they were a stable couple. Maybe looks really can be deceiving.

"I need to clear my head for a while Jide, if Harry comes please don't tell him where I am," Simon says before grabbing his bag and leaving Jj standing in bedroom. Heard the door close and the younger doesn't know what to do.

But he listens to what Simon said. When Harry shows up half an hour later with tears in his eyes it takes all of his might to say that he doesn't know where Simon is. Says me might have gone to visit Josh.

It's evil really, Jj decides when Harry leaves his sitting room with a look of determination on his face. He's sending the poor boy on a wild goose chase for what? Jj doesn't even know what happened between the both of them. For all he knows Simon could be in the wrong here. He had said that he fucked up.....

But by the time he comes to the decision that he should ask Harry what happened the brunet is long gone and he curses to himself. Feels even worse when he realizes that Josh will probably send Harry to Tobi's to check, then Tobi will send him to Randys and Randy will send him back to the flat.

Simon calls him 2 hours later. He's sat in his old room and trying not to cry. "So what happened?" Jj never did have the best patience, Simons surprised he's waited this long.

"I overreacted I guess," the blond sighs. "I told Harry that I loved him. He just stared at me for a straight minute. I couldn't deal with it Jide so I ran. I ran as fast and as far away as I could. Sure I only made it about 27 miles away from home but I couldn't deal with the pity when I told you. I just thought, it's been a year and I've loved him for long. But I guess that it was too soon".

Simon explains it all and Jj listens. Doesn't interrupt just let's Simon talk and it feels nice. Once he's finished talking Jj comforts him. Tells him to go for a walk even though it's 8pm and the sun is going to set soon. Also tells him that Harry definitely loves him back. "He was probably shocked Simon. Give him time. Just go relax, hey go to that park you used to drag me to every Sunday!".

And Simon follows his advice. Tells his mum that he's going to pub to see a few of his old friends. He doesn't need her worrying about him anymore than she already is. So he heads out. Goes for a walk around the town.

Meanwhile Jj sighs when he hears the door knock again. Knows that it's either Josh about to give out to him for sending Harry round his when he knew exactly where the blond was because Tobi had already called him and gave out to him. Or it's Harry back, probably just as deflated as he was this morning.

Opens the door and he's not shocked to see Harry stood in front of him. Bit more shocked that Ethan is stood with him. Arm wrapped around the youngers shoulder. He's smiling sadly and Harry's a puddle of tears.

Jj opens the door wider and rushes both of them in. They all sit down on the couch and Harry won't let go of Ethan's arm as he re-tells the story of his day.

"I-I was shocked Jide, I didn't expect him to say it. I called him back, must've called his name 20 times but it was too late. He was gone. Cal wouldn't let me go until I had told him that happened. I never got the chance to tell him that I love him too. I got to yours as fast as I could. Then you told me to go to Josh and he wasn't there.

Freya convinced me to have a cup of tea and some breakfast. I didn't want to tell them why I was there but you know what Freya's like. They gave me some comforting words and then Josh said that he might be at Tobi's. So I went to Tobi's but he wasn't there. I stayed for a while, talked to Tobi to calm down.

Our last resort was that he was at Randys. But he wasn't. Randy made me eat again, told me that he'd probably of gone back to the flat by now. But that I should maybe leave him until tomorrow. I agreed and was heading home but I couldn't face it. The thought that I'd lost Simon forever. Like our relationship had started and ended in my flat.

Ethan was the closest person to me at that stage. Told the taxi driver to turn around...," he trails off tears falling faster and harder. Ethan throws a comforting arm around him and finishes the story for the younger.

"I tried to calm him down but it was no use. That's when I realized that maybe big man knowledge, strength, Integrity would know where Simon is by now!" Ethan says his eyes cold and narrow when he says Integrity and Jj knows that he's in for it.

He loves Simon he really does, he's his best friend but Harry's sat in their living room crying an actual river and Ethan's glaring at him as much as to say "Tell him the truth or else".

"He's away home for the weekend. I'm sorry Harry, I promised him I wouldn't tell you," but Harry isn't even mad. He lets go of Ethan for the first time since he entered the flat and hugs Jj as tightly as he can.

"Jide please, we have to go. I'll do anything, I'll, I'll-"

Jj stops him, the least he can do is drive the three of them to Hertfordshire as an apology to Harry. Even though it's 10pm and he has a meeting at 8am tomorrow. The things he does for his friends.

So here Simon is. Quarter past 11 on a Friday night. He had actually popped into the local pub. Met a few of his old friends and downed 2 pints. Laughed and laughed and laughed as they re-told childhood stories. Listens as they catch him up on everything he had missed the past 8 years not living at home.

Sure his mum had kept him up to date and he had come home every so often but he'd never found the time to catch up with old friends. Looks around the room and wonders if he had never left what would life be like?

Would he be sat here with the same group of friends every Friday night making memories to last a lifetime. Would Jide be KSI or would he be sat here right next to him. Would he of met a nice girl from the town and be married already. Would he of made memories?

Thinks and remembers that he's made memories to last a lifetime. He's met people, he's met his friends, he's met Harry. The love of his life and suddenly it's all too much. The walls of the pub are closing in on him. He thanks them for the laughs and memories but he's gotta go. Promises them that he'll come home again, with Jj this time and they'll make even more memories.

He looks back and smiles seeing them all doubled over in laughter over something one of them had said. He wants to say that he escaped but there was never really anything to escape. Everyone that stayed is happy. They're all content with their lives. And so is he. He took a different route that's all.

Left the pub and heads off in the direction of the park Jj had mentioned. He had wanted to leave it for last. Let's his mind wander as he wanders around the streets.

Passes by a group of teenagers shrieking in laughter, empty bottle of vodka in their hands and he has to smile. Because that used to be him, running through the same streets when he was younger. Drunk, young and free.

He's so engrossed that he almost walks into a woman. She asks if he's lost because she's never seen him around here. He shakes his head, tells her that he's not lost, just wandering around home. She leaves him be and he keeps going.

Arrives at the park and heads straight to the field. Lies down and watches the stars. Let's the day wash over him and he can't help but smile as he remembers the first time he ever went star gazing was with Harry.

Jj knocks on the door. Simons mum opens the door and she's so happy to see Jj. Welcomes him inside but Jj asks if Simons around. She can hear the desperation in his voice and tells him that he went down to the pub to met a few of the lads.

So the 3 of them leave. They enter and nobody bats and eyelid at them. Jj instantly spots the group of people that Simon should be with, it's just, he's nowhere to be seen. Swears under his breath as he approaches the table.

Taps one of the boys on the shoulder and he turns grinning. "When we told Simon to hurry back with you we didn't mean this soon!" The man laughs and stands up to hug Jj.

He laughs weakly "it's really nice to see you James, but do you have any idea where Simon is?". The man now known as James to Harry and Ethan shakes his head. Explains how he left 20 minutes ago, adds that he looked like he had been doing a lot of thinking. Jj thanks him and they leave,

"So we're back to square 1?" Ethan asks as Harry lets a sob rip from his mouth. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't of been such a prick today," he cries as Ethan hugs him.

"It's ok Bog, let's just head back to his, he'll be home-," Jj starts but then stops. He has a shit eating grin on his face. "I know where he is!".

They all pile into Jj's car once again and 5 minutes later they're pulling up to a park. "Simon used to drag me here every Sunday, I told him to visit here when I was talking to him earlier as a joke," Jj explains as they exit the car and head to the field.

And that's where they spot him. Lying in the grass eyes closed and mouth turned upwards in a smile. Harry walks closer as Ethan and Jj hang back.

"Si?" Harry asks shyly and the body shoots up. Looks around and all air leaves his body because Harry is inching closer to him with a nervous smile on his face. Simon can't take it, not whilst he's at home, in his safe place.

"Harry, please not-," but Harry cuts him off. "Simon please, just listen to me I beg. You don't understand what I've done to get here!". So Simon stays quiet.

"Si I was shocked when you told me that you loved me. Ever since I met you I was convinced that I'd never be enough for you. I was just a 17 year old kid with insecurities that would've drowned me when I first met you. But you, as cringy as it sounds you taught me how to love myself. I was finally in the shallow end when I moved in with Cal and Cal and I started drinking a lot, when the drugs started.

But you were there. Every single time I relapsed you where there. On bad nights that I was tempted you made me watch a shitty movie with you. And even though I hate movies I watched them with you. You supported me when I came out. And then you kissed me when we where in Vegas for Jides fight. A week later we had our first date in London and you weren't embarrassed of me. You held my hand as we walked home and you asked me to be your boyfriend and I said yes. Because I loved you. You kept me afloat, Simon I have loved you since I was 18, too young to know what love is as mum always said. But I loved you. And I still do.

And I'm sorry that I left you standing there waiting for an answer today. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you loved me, you love me just as much as I love you! And I would've been able to tell you all of this this morning but Cal held me back and then Jide sent me on a goose chase like a whole twat.

So I'm sorry Si, I love you. A lot more than the moon and stars combined,". And Simons stood staring at him, tears falling down his face. Because holy fucking shit. Harry loved him as much as he loved Harry. Didn't even think as he tackled him into a hug. Kissed him deeply and had every unspoken word added to it.

And Harry seemed to just know because when they pulled away he hugged him tighter. They turn to their 2 cheering friends before Simon leans down to kiss him again.

Because he had Harry. Harry was his, the love of his life. "I even love you enough for the first time I tell you to be in Hertfordshire," Harry giggles and Simon grins at him. "Hometown glory I guess,". And then Simon kisses him again

[imagineofallkindsxxx]

Eternal Flame- Kol Mikaelson 7/?

A Hundred Dead Witches!?!

Summary: 'You never know whats in a persons heart until you truly know them' - Belle French, Once Upon a Time

Singing. Thats all what Alexandra Gilbert has cared about since she was young and all she would care about until she met him.

With Alexandra fighting vampires, werewolves and all between she may do a thing she vowed never to do, fall in love.

And to think it all started with a walk in the woods...

Tonight was the night of Illuminations, a town tradition that has been going on for centuries so a group of us had volunteered to help or in my case forced to. While hanging lanterns from the trees Carol Lockwood decided to make a speech to the volunteers deciding to thank the people actually doing the work instead of sitting around making speeches along with introducing Tobias Fell. 

"Remind me why we're here again?" I whispered to Mark but before he could answer Sam butted in. 

"It's my uncle Tobys night, my mom's forcing me to volunteer and I'm sure as hell not doing it on my own." Making me roll my eyes at the bassist. 

  "Yo, what'd I miss" James said coming behind us making me jump out of my skin giving him a push. 

  "Nothing the speech is about to begin." Sam informed him. 

  "The first illumination..." He started, going on about history of the town and the founders. 

"I'm gonna dip. Finish my lantern" I whispered to James making him look at me incredulously. I just looked at him and blew a kiss at the drummer before a quietly and as slyly as possible trying to escape the wrath of Sam Fell who although may look skinny and weak can destroy you. 

When it looked like I was in the clear for now I walked up to Caroline and Bonnie who were tying lanterns to a branch.

"-comment on that." 

"Comment on what?" 

"There. You Commented" 

"I'm confused, what are you commenting?" Asking the duo confused at what is going on and what is being commented. 

"What do you want me to say Caroline?" She asked clearly distressed before finally addressing me "I went against the balance of nature when I brought Jeremy back to life and now, I'm paying the consequences. Whenever he wants to see Anna and she wants to see him, she's still here". Jesus this is fucked up. 

"Bon..." I started looking at her sympathetically before Caroline butts in 

"I want you to tell me you're not okay with it." 

"I'm a thousand times not okay with it. I just don't know what to do about it" she said looking deflated at the entire situation making me throw my arm around her shoulders in comfort. 

"You, Bonnie Bennett are the most powerful, smartest and amazing witch. You'll figure out, trust me. You're Bonnie Bennett for Christ sake!" She smiled at me giving a small laugh before a blue Camaro comes out of nowhere pulling up with a raven haired vampire driving. 

"Greetings, blondie, witchy, brainy. I think you got your voodoo wires all crossed when you got rid of Vicki Donovan." She tells us with an annoyed expression on his face. 

"Vicki Donovan?" I questioned confused to how a dead vampire was being brought into this conversation, 

"What do you mean, why?" Bonnie questioned the annoyed/annoying vampire in front of her. 

"Because I'm pretty sure I just got spit-roasted by Mason Lockwood's ghost." He explained. What the hell did Damon do to that poor and attractive werewolf? 

"What?" Bonnie asked very confused. 

"And why exactly do you think that?" I asked wondering how Mason Lockwood was the first person he thought of.

"Maybe because he chained me to a chair and shoved a hot poker into my chest. let's say I'm having deja vu." With this being told me and Caroline both look at Bonnie who looks very confused and conflicted. 

"I thought you said ghosts couldn't interact with people." Caroline said talking straight to Bonnie thinking how it can't be possible that Bonnie may have been wrong. 

"They can't" 

"Yeah well, I don't have time for a vengeful Lockwood. When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead. Whatever you screwed up fix it." He ranted towards the witch after that he drove away extremely quickly and most likely above the speed limit. 

Across the road was Matt watching the interaction of the four of us. I was the first to cross the street to talk to the quarterback with Caroline and Bonnie following closely behind. I asked him quickly if he had seen Vicki.

"I haven't seen Vicki, I swear" He told us all before looking down upset about having to go through the loss of his sister a second time "I sent her back like you told me to do."

"Are you sure?" Bonnie asked making sure that Matt actually did get rid of Vicki "Because she has just as much reason to haunt Damon as Mason Lockwood does."

"90% of the people who have been killed in the past two years has as much reason to haunt Damon as much as Mason Lockwood." I added making Caroline nod in agreement.

"She's gone Bonnie. If she was here, I'd know it" I gave him a small sympathetic smile it clear that he was severely upset about this whole ordeal.

"Why do you think its Vicki and not Mason?" Caroline asked the witch.

"Because if any ghost other than Vicki Donovan has a physical foothold on our side, that means Damon's right." Words I never thought I'd hear "and something has gone really, really wrong." Bonnie states looking extremely worried about this situation and what would happen if all the ghosts from our past come to literally haunt us.

"I've had enough of this ghost stuff to last forever. So can you guys can leave me out of this one" Matt tells the three of us, I nodded understanding that if that happened to me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed forget going to work. He walks away from us, and you can hear Caroline talking.

"I feel so sad for him. It took a lot for him to send his sister away."

"Yeah" Bonnie replied shortly.

"I highly doubt I could do that, if I got to saw my mom or dad again... I don't know if I would be able to let them go." I stated feeling so much sympathy for the blue-eyed boy. "It took a lot of guts anyway." This made the other girls nod.

"So much strength in a man." Caroline continued looking at both of us.

"Caroline it's never going to happen, get over it." Rolling my eyes at her Insinuating that Matt would be a perfectly good boyfriend as she's done for the part two months.

"I've got a ghost problem to deal with, Caroline. Save the Jeremy lecture for later" She snapped while grabbing her bag all of her stuff falling out when the strap broke. I bent down and helped her pick up her things and just as she was going to put her grimoire up it opens itself to a page in the center of the book.

"Did that just..." I asked the witch and vampire not believing my eyes.

"I think so." Bonnie said cocking her head to the side while picking up the book reading the page that the book opened itself to.

"Okay please tell me that's a recipe for witch cookies" Caroline half joked half serious about the page Bonnie was currently reading.

"It's a manifestation spell. It's used to reveal veiled matter." Bonnie told us the meaning of the grimoires spell.

"What's veiled matter?" Caroline asked and before Bonnie answered I said in shock.

"Ghosts." looking at them all.

"What do we do? Do we do the spell? What is the spell exactly?" I questioned Bonnie repeatedly wanting the ghosts to be a thing in the past and look into the future.

"I think we need to go somewhere more private."

***

Caroline pulled her car up to an abandoned creepy looking house. the three of us enter the front room me and Caroline a little bit more apprehensively than Bonnie.

"So, this is where you brought Jeremy back to life?" I asked Bonnie looking around the room severely creeped out, the interior being as bad as the exterior.

"Yeah. Sorry, I know it's creepy, but we needed a private place to do the spell." Bonnie apologized getting ready to do the spell.

"Hmmm. There's no chance it's haunted by the hundred dead witches who were horrifically burned to death in this very spot, is there?" Caroline question clearly scared, and that question alone made me just as scared.

"A hundred dead witches?!"

"They're not here anymore. And they made it clear they were never coming back." she reassured us both trying to calm our nerves or well attempted to.

"Right. You pinkie swear?" Caroline asks trying to make a joke in the tense environment. Making me give her a look. I got the candles out and gave Caroline a lighter so she can help light the candles with me for Bonnie to start the spell.

"Ready do you need us to do..." I started turning around to see Bonnie already starting to start the spell "Right. Okay" I looked at Caroline while Bonnie was continuing to do the spell getting louder every chant a breeze beginning to surround us getting stronger and stronger by the second making everything in the room moves. Seeing all of this makes my eyes widen and start to worry about Bonnie and how safe this is for her.

"Bonnie, I don't like this. Bonnie..." Caroline voices my thoughts while also looking around that was until we saw something shocking.

"Oh my God, is that your...?" I started but couldn't finish due to the pure shock of what I as seeing. All three of us shocked Bonnie can't say anything, it even leaves Caroline speechless. The silence was broke with Bonnie saying quietly.

"Grams."

*************************************************

A/N:

Small chapter but next is quite long an different than others as a special character will be appearing. Hope you enjoyed, Part two will include more of the boys (a slight twist).

Please correct any grammar, spelling or British slang.

Any positive or negative feedback is appreciated.

Thanks for reading lovelies xxx 

[creepy-bi-day]

hey there!! can i please have ben, jeff, and toby with an overly reserved/private (maybe due to fear of vulnerability or insecurities) so?? thank you!!

Yes!! Oh boy time for the fluff—

Hope this is alright!

Warnings: cussing, mentions of abuse

Ben, Jeff, and Toby with a Reserved and Insecure S/O

BEN

Boy doesn’t understand at first

Like???

You like him, right? So why is it an issue when he wants to hold you?

He’s big on PDA so he’s a bit irritated you don’t like being flirty in public

Takes some time to get used to it

Constantly pushes you out of your comfort zone unintentionally

He’s not good at limits

Once he finds out it’s mainly because you’re really insecure??

Expect him to compliment everything he loves about you

Just in a sort of dirty way—

“I love your eyes so much, (y/n).”

“I-“

“Can’t imagine how they’d look when I’m plowing into you-“

Cue blushing time

He does his best to help boost your ego and make you feel more confident

He’s not patient though so expect the silent treatment if you have a bad few days

He’s always trying to make you see what he does

Will 10000% find the dumbest pickup lines to throw at you

He’s kind of selfish too, so like if you assume he’s lying like I do

He gets pissed

“Really? I just complimented you and you’re crying now?”

7/10 for effort, 4/10 for follow through—

Jeff:

“Why the fuck aren’t you answering me?”

Like Ben, he doesn’t really get it at first?

He’s a lot more aggressive though

Constantly pushing you past your comfort zone and getting mad when you don’t talk

Starts to question your loyalty to him

He’s a paranoid boi what can I say

When he finds out you’re insecure he just???

???

Why tho??

“What the fuck do you mean you don’t deserve me? I’m the fucking killer here-“

He literally will try to be softer around you

Won’t work well tbh

Kinda creepy

“Fuck I just- you look pretty?”

He’s trying to smile softly at you but it’s just a weird grimace that just sends terrified shivers down your spine

He doesn’t know how to help, but he thinks compliments do?

He’s sort of a physical dude so like??

Maybe just holding your hand or rubbing your shoulder in public would help??

Tbh he just wants you to know how much of a badass bitch you are

9/10 for intent and 6/10 for follow through

He gets angery sometimes

Toby:

He gets it

Will constantly comment on how wonderful you are, despite your insecurities

Don’t get him wrong, he knows you’re not 100% perfect

The only thing wrong with you is you don’t see how beautiful and amazing you are

Will get Cody to compliment you randomly too so that it’s not all coming from him

“Hey, Tobe, why is your brother commenting on my haircut?”

“I don’t- I don’t know. Maybe he thinks- he thinks you look as pretty- pretty as I do.”

Self conscious about your weight?

He’ll cook for you, making sure you eat and telling you that if you want, you can train with him

He’s going to make sure you know just how loved you are

Cuddles?? Yes plz

This mans is always down to have you in his arms

A lot more patient with you than the other two

Mostly because he knows what it’s like to hate what you see in the mirror

10/10 for intent 8/10 follow through

It’s a bit weird having your boyfriends brother compliment you randomly ngl—

[romerona]

TRUBLEMAKER

Book: Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance

Pairing: Logan x MC(Tessa)

Rating: +18 cursing and Little sex related talk

Summary: Logan’s POV on the first”date”

Note: takes place in chapter 2

Special thanks for @desiree-0816 for helping me a lot.

Characters belong to Pixelberry Studios

After I dropped her to her house, I went back to the shop when I got there the crew were doing their things ,Mona is working on her car while Ximena is giving Toby a new tattoo....

Toby - Hey! Logan where were you?” He asked wincing as ximena is working on his skin.

Ximena - Toby stop moving damnit!! She asked too where have I been?

Logan - On a job.” I said making my way to the kitchen.

Toby - tell me about it I need a distraction pleaseeeeee.” he said pleadingly

Logan - nothing really important just sold a car to a rich kid, talking about that I have to give the money to kaneko.”

I knock on his door seconds later he opens it I told him about the night and my plan with the cops to make Tessa trust me.

Kaneko - good, she already trust you or at least feels like she has to . Keep hanging out with her soon she will tell you everything.”

As I'm going up the stairs to my loft and I hop on my bed, I'm think why is my heart still beating fast is it from the car chase from the police and the adrenaline is still pumping through me from it... I'm sure that's what it's from... For some odd reason my mind keeps going back to that kiss with Tessa.... As if I was the first boy to give her, her first kiss ever... I couldn't help but think of the way her lips felt against mine and the softness of them and oh how sweet they tasted... I was noticing that when a gasp went through her lips when I deepened the kiss with my tongue, so damn cute....

A kiss from a girl like her has never had effect on me like this let alone this kind of feeling's...

Logan - Why the fuck am I'm thinking of her and her lips, he says this out loud to himself.... I tried to distracted myself from thinking of Tess and her lips so I grab my phone from my pocket and I went to my Instagram account and I found Tess on my account....

So I started thinking for a few minutes should I send a request, I just rolled my eyes and put my phone away... It hasn't even been 5 minutes later and I was once again thinking about Tess and if I should just send the damn request.... FUCK!! Why the hell am I'm acting like this she's just a fucking job... Oh come on man get your shit together....

Logan - Shit! She didn't give me her phone number and I still need to be able to communicate with her so this really is the best options....

So I pressed the follow button and I put my phone away and I started to get ready for bed... Once I went back to my bed I saw that she has already accepted my request...

I started looking through her photos on her Instagram account and I noticed she didn't have a lot of selfies or pictures of herself... As I was scrolling through more of her pictures, I saw one where she with these two people it looks like they are best friends.... A boy called Darius and a girl name Riya and it looks like Darius and Riya are dating... It seems like Tess only hangs out with both of them a lot...

This makes my job so much easier then and as I smiled to myself and soon my eyes was getting heavier and I drifted off to sleep....

Early in the morning I got this crazy idea I should invite her to the sideshow and show her a side of myself... The only side I will let her see plus I be in my own damn element... I started typing and I just put some stupid pick up line and I know that this will make her blush...

Logan - I send her that and the address and time where to meet me for our date...

I went down to eat breakfast and started working on the car that was due yesterday and I took a look at my phone and nothing, she hasn't even text back or anything... Shit! I was thinking maybe I over did it with kissing her last night...

No it's not that maybe she just realized I'm not someone she wants to be dating... Why would she date a lowlife like me but fuck I need her.... I mean I need her for the job of course and I can't let Teppei Kaneko down...

Sever hours have passed and I still haven't received a text from Tess yet and as I was about to give up when her text came through...

Tessa - Sure, I Be There ☺️

I let out a breath that I was holding in and I thought to myself my plan is working, soon we will have what we need to know...

Later on that day I went back up to my loft to get some sleep for tonight and soon there was a knock on my door that woke me up...

Mona - stop slacking off, boss wants to see you”.

I got up and head to his office when I got there he was working on something.

Kaneko - Logan, I need you to take this documents and give them to this man his name is Fabien Ahmad”.

I look at the time shit! I don’t have to much time I have to see Tessa.

Logan - where is he?”

Kaneko - he is going to be at the sideshow tonight”.

I felt relieved because that the same location that I'm meeting Tess for our date and I can give these documents to him there before I go meet her...

A while later at the sideshow

Logan - Hey are you Fabien Ahmad ? “

Fabien - Depending what do you want?”

Logan - Kaneko sent you this “. I give him the documents and make my way around the sideshow, Tessa should be here already ,where is she ?

When I finally found her my fucking eyes went wide and they started to wonder on her perfect body Holy Shit she looks hot tonight.... She was wearing shorts that makes her legs look delicious and some red and black top that adjust perfect to her upper body... I can't look away so I decided to walk where she is and without taking my eyes off of her... As I get closer I realized she talking to someone...

Some dude on a motorcycle looking like he is full of himself...

Colt - Ah, here comes the white Knight in shinning armor now..

I was only fucking late for 5 minutes and some asshole took that chance to talk to her to get her for himself.

Logan - Who this? I asked

Colt - The guy who had to keep your little girlfriend company he said while looking up and down Tess body...

This action annoyed the fuck out of me and who the fuck does this fool think he is, she with me....

Colt - I can see what you like about this guy, sweetheart. He said mocking Logan

What the fuck does that supposed to mean?? Why is he calling her sweetheart and why does he keep looking at her like that, like he know her... He such a tool and my blood is starting to boil over but I managed to keep it together....

Logan - you really trying to test my patient, aren’t you??

I'm seriously starting to consider beating this asshole up...

Tessa - everything is fine. promise

Tess voice is so soothing for me until this asshole winks at her and said I see you around... Like fuck you will! I will never let her be alone in here again for an asshole like you talk to her.

After the biker guy let me and Tess starting talking for awhile now and my eyes couldn't look away from her... She looks so damn hot tonight and before I could stop myself my hand was already touching her smooth skin..

As I was showing Tess around the sideshow I noticed that a lot of fucking guys and girls were checking her out...

So I took her by the hand and I glared at all the people who was staring at Tess and I said fucking try something.. She’s with me and only me and god help anyone who trys to take her away from me tonight...

Dammit why do I feel like this, why I am acting all possessive of her I have never care if someone else was checking out the girl I was withs so why do is care so much when they do it to Tess.

As we continue to walk around the sideshow I saw that she was amazed by this place..

Tessa - You don't have anything to prove to me Logan.. hearing her say that makes me feel so good inside because my entire life I had to prove to others and myself... Hearing her say that feels really good and warm inside that I never felt before... Damnit what is she doing to me but I have to shake this feeling she just a job...

Logan - Sure I do. I’ve got something to prove to everybody”.

Trying to change the subject quickly as possible lead us to Vaughn food truck it’s weird I never thought I would present someone to him let alone a girl after all he’s the only family I have and Tess is special...

Fuck Logan she is just a job get that in your head and even if she wasn’t you don’t deserve her.

We eat and talk with Vaughn for a while as I expected he likes her, Vaughn then tells me that Kaneko he’s looking for me. He will be pleased to see that I’m hanging out with Tessa ,still why would he be looking for me .

As we make our way to Kaneko , Tess ask me about him ,I tell her who he is and my relationship with him and after that I tell her a little and the jobs I do for him. When we arrive I start talking to him then his gaze fell on Tessa.

Kaneko - And who might this be?”

Tessa - l’m Tessa, Logan’s date.”

Tess answers before I could say something , I like that about her she isn’t waiting for someone else to present her she do that herself , but she says it a little Shyly but I who wouldn’t get shy in kanekos gaze.

I Fake explain him about yesterday‘s events and he lectured me as if he didn’t know about it. Then I am lead away from Tessa for kaneko.

Kaneko - You invite the girl here ? “

Logan - yeah I thought it would be good showing her a side of me so she Has to trust me more”.

Kaneko - good thinking anyways I need you to look after my car while I take care of some matters”.

He leaves and it’s just me and Tess again i feel she is a little tense about what just happened with kaneko so I flirt a little to dismiss the tension we walk to other part of the sideshow. I see Tess eying The dance floor with awe and after a small talk I managed to convinced her to dance with me, I normally don’t dance in this place but I am not letting the opportunity to feel Tessa’s Body pressed against mine past.

We started dancing she looked tense at the beginning but she loses up after a while, at one point of the song we look at each other’s eyes I am completely dumbfounded by her beautiful eyes.

When she catch the beat she turned around so now her ass is press against my length, this is so fucking hot I feel my cock twitch, dammit I can’t get hard right now. What is happening to me?

I mean yeah , I have had girls dance on me like this before but doing it with Tess is different, is hotter , is better I don’t understand how but it is , fuck, looking at her moving her hips against mine is so hot and above all she’s wearing this little outfit that makes me want to rip it off.

Soon this song ends and another one starts she looks back at me ....damn she’s beautiful even when she is covered of sweat.

Tessa - I Think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day. . .

No no no, this moment can’t end yet. I pulled her back to me and convince her to dance with me again, as I wrap a hand on her Waist the other one find her hand , this feels more intimate than the last one.

Tessa - where do you learn to dance like this?”

Logan - Around”

Tessa - girls?”

Is she jealous? Tess not even Hundreds of dances with any of them can come close to a single dance with you ,Tessa you actually make me feel something.

I keep those words to myself.

After a while in the song I spin her and pull her back to me, my self control left my body when I started to trail my hand down her soft hair but I didn’t stop there even If i wanted to I can’t, then I touch her pink cheeks, her throat , the middle of her chest. As I am doing that I realize how good it feels to have her like this , to be the only one to have her in their arms, to be the only one in her eyes, to be the only one touching her and soon she is asking me to kiss her, now been the only one she kiss.

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[greensconnor]

"have you ever wanted to hate someone?" with mc x ingrid if u wanna, im fucking lobe ur writing sol :sneezehaw:

ofc jules!!!! thank u for asking!!!!

“Have you ever wanted to hate someone?” Ellie asks, twisting a strand of brown hair around her finger.

“Nah,” says Mona, not bothering to look up from her current task of attempting to wrestle the mega-bag of candy Toby and Logan had compiled from Toby’s hands while he did everything in his power with the exact 3.5 inches he had on her to prevent this from happening, “if I want to hate someone I just do. It’s not that hard.”

“It’s not about whether or not I’m capable,” Ellie rolls her eyes, setting her nail between her teeth as if she hadn’t quite committed to the idea of tearing it to pieces, “it’s just that she’s really, really hot.”

Across the beach, Ingrid stands; tall and radiant like a beacon of beauty. An angel come to Earth- not fallen, simply there. Sunlight glistens off her tan skin, dampened by the ocean water that licks reverently at her ankles. Her bottle-blonde hair is bedraggled and somehow looks perfect, her pastel pink bikini not quite hiding the pale tan lines on her shoulders and hips.

She looks up. Ellie looks away quickly, so she doesn’t have to see the way Ingrid’s perfect lips curl up into a perfect smirk on her perfect face. Mona quirks a brow at her, taking advantage of Toby’s lowered guard to snatch the paper bag from his hands and turn her back to him.

“That’s the girl who beat you out for valedictorian?”

“Half a mark on the final exam!” Ellie protests on reflex. Mona’s lips curve up into her devastating grin. Toby leans around Mona, hand clamped on her shoulder, to try and reach his back.

“Nerd,” says Mona.

“You could just talk to her,” Toby suggests, shoving Mona hard as she steps away from him with a lilting laugh.

“She doesn’t want to talk to someone like me,” Ellie says miserably, picking at the frayed edges of her jean shorts, “that’s why I want to hate her. She’s smart, and she’s pretty, and she’s just... perfect. It’s not fair to hate her, but it’s easier than liking her and knowing I don’t have a chance.”

“El,” Logan’s voice sends all three of them standing to attention. He stands, hip cocked, a few feet away with his hand in the back pocket of Colt’s jeans. “Can I give you some advice?”

“I get the impression that you’re going to regardless of what I say.”

“Yep,” Logan says with a grin, “this isn’t a telenovela. Stranger things have happened than a pretty girl hanging out with someone who can match her level of intellect.”

“Such as me dating someone with half a brain cell,” Colt jerks a thumb in Logan’s direction, “what odds. Confidence is everything. Don’t bother shooting your shot if you can’t follow through.”

“Extremely bold words coming from someone who literally ran away after I kissed him for the first time.” Colt flushes furious red and Mona cackles while Toby does his best to hide his grin. Chest shaking with laughter, Ellie turns her head to gaze at Ingrid again. Ingrid is still watching, but she starts suddenly, and turns her face away. Ellie’s face goes as red as Colt’s.

“Ellie,” Mona says, “I can’t take a Colt and Logan repeat. Please woman up and take one for my delicate constitution. Longing stares make me nauseous.”

“Okay! Okay,” Ellie stands quickly, pushing off the hood of Mona’s car, “I’m going. But only because I hate the fallout of Logan and Colt’s lovers quarrels.” Logan grins, presses a pointed kiss to the corner of Colt’s mouth. Ellie gestures, brow quirked in a ‘see’ gesture, before she turns, and makes her way toward the beach.

The sand is hot between her toes, flip-flops dangling from her fingers as she carefully trudges toward the ocean. Ingrid breaches the surf a few feet away, hands scooping her hair back from her face. Her eyes fall upon Ellie’s approaching figure, and she blinks, before taking a few unsure steps toward the shore.

“Hey!” Ellie calls over the sound of the breakers and shrieking gulls. Ingrid’s lips curl into a smile, and it’s all Ellie can do to keep from stumbling at the sheer force of the desire to kiss her.

“Wheeler,” says Ingrid, her voice smooth and silken, “can I help you?” Ellie falters.

“Well- no, I mean-- yes? I mean, I just,” a deep breath, “I just wanted to talk. I haven’t seen you since graduation.”

“Well, we weren’t exactly friends,” that stings a little, and Ellie pushes her tongue against her teeth, forcing herself to draw up straighter and lift her chin, though the effort seems fruitless when Ingrid’s head seems haloed by the sun.

“No, we weren’t,” she says, “but we should change that. I don’t know why we ever harboured any animosity toward each other in the first place.” Ingrid’s face falls in bewilderment.

“Because you’re ultra-competitive and you saw me as a challenger for valedictorian.” Ellie pauses.

“Well, yes,” she says, “but I guess that’s out of the way, right? And it doesn’t make sense for two smart, capable women who are both moving away to Langston come fall to keep hating each other after that variable has been removed, right?” Ingrid’s brow quirked, her hand on her hip.

“You’re really hamming up the whole feminist angle.”

“Yes. Yes I am.” Ellie turns, briefly, to glance back at her friends: Mona and Toby leaning against her car and sharing the candy while Colt and Logan bicker playfully, broad smiles on their faces. She smiles too, thinks back on the last few months and what they’ve taught her, what advice they would give her. She makes a decision.

“It seemed like an easier option than admitting I think you’re really pretty, and that your intelligence intimidated me because it made you much more attractive, and I didn’t think I’d ever have a shot.” Ingrid’s eyes widened, and her mouth falls open in a perfect ‘o’. She stares for a few moments... and then she laughs.

Her laugh is like so many things: like honey and bees buzzing in springtime air, tinkling bells in dewy fields, sun brightly beating down on orchards in bloom, of a thunderstorm in the distance when one is warm under the covers. Ellie smiles, wide and genuine, as Ingrid’s eyes meet hers, almost shyly this time.

“That was... straight forward,” she says, tucking a strand of wet hair behind her ear, “I liked it.”

“I’m glad,” Ellie breathes out, not having realized she was even holding a breath to begin with, “saying it was terrifying. I thought for sure I was going to choke.”

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit,” Ingrid bites her lower lip, glancing at the sand between them, “and for the record... I’ve always thought you were pretty, too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Ellie stands, unsure what to say. The air between them is new, and uncharted, but if the past few months have taught her anything, it’s that she is capable of so much more than she ever thought. She is tentative now, but she has proven to be adaptable and brave. She reaches out, touches her fingers to Ingrid’s, pulls her hand toward her.

“I wanted to hate you,” she says, “because it was easier than liking you and thinking I had no chance. But now that I have one... I’d like to take it. Do you want to go out with me? Coffee at Blue Peppermint, Friday at ten if that suits you?”

“I like a girl who knows what she wants,” Ingrid’s fingers splay, lace with Ellie’s, “that sounds great. We could go to the observatory later? They have an exhibit on the Mars rovers set up at the moment.”

“It’s a date,” Ellie says, her grin so wide her face aches, but she’s never felt happier. Ingrid’s smile is enough to make her hear angels singing as she nods, a lock of sea-dampened blonde falling across her eyes. It’s interesting to see perfect, untouchable Ingrid as shy, vulnerable, and hopeful, all unguarded emotions.

And all because of a date with Ellie. Her grin broadens, and she squeezes Ingrid’s hand.

“Yeah,” Ingrid says, as the sea washes over their toes, “I guess it is.”

[drizzitwrites]

Football RPF Challenge - Day 27: Compromise

I had less time to write than I would like today, but life goes like that some days. After not getting anything meaningful (I thought about writing and sketched some things out, which counts as writing time because it's all valuable to the process, but produced no new words) done the last two days I was really hoping to make something out of today. It's weird, because for both Sunday and yesterday I had scenes in mind, but for whatever reason they just didn't go.

Today's theme is "compromise," which is a fairly broad theme and I had a hard time calling up any specific scenes where this needs to happen. I mean, it's another thing where it's weird because they sort of do this all the time with things, because that's how stable relationships work, but I was thinking about upcoming things and it's a lot of all-or-nothing. I mean, in some instances Vincent's literally not in a position to do anything about anything either because he's waiting on news about his future or because he's injured and not allowed to put any weight on his foot, so he doesn't exactly have any credibility when he's trying to insist that Christian stop fussing over him or bringing him food or making him a bed on the sofa or anything, because he can't actually do any of it himself.

This led me to a thought about my next fic in a scene I've made mention of in another scene I wrote. Where it's the night of Vincent's injury and he's decided to sleep on his sofa so he doesn't bother Christian, but then wakes up in the middle of the night and is trying to get down the hall to the toilet and is of course making ALL MANNER of noise, which wakes Christian up anyway. Vincent feels badly that he's woken Christian (it's the night before a match), but Christian just wants to make sure Vincent is okay, so he ends up staying up to help Vincent and when Vincent wants to go back into his room and tells Christian to do the same because he's sure he'll keep him up if they're together, Christian fights him on it and what happens is that Vincent ends up in the guest room because it's closer to the bathroom if he needs to get up and Christian insists on sleeping in there with him even though Vincent thinks he won't get good rest. But Christian says that he's not getting good rest alone in his bed worrying about Vincent so this way at least he'll be here and know if Vincent needs anything. Compromise.

But! As convinced as I was that this was the scene for me to write today, I changed my mind just as I sat down to start. It's still a scene that's set the same evening, but it's about Christian wanting to stay home with Vincent instead of going to Friday night dinner at Toby's house and Vincent insisting that he goes because he should see his friends and not just sit home and watch Vincent sleep (he's on some fairly serious pain medication at this point so all he does is sleep and feel generally horrible with very little else in-between). It ends up also being a compromise and is another key scene around the main theme of the fic of Vincent being glad to be there in Christian's company, but also being generally angry and sad and not wanting to bring Christian down or take him away from his life, so he begs out of a lot of things and sends Christian away to live his life a lot even though they'd generally both rather just sit inside Christian's house and appreciate their time together more often than not.

Despite me not really having a solid grip on things going into this and thinking I’d only be able to write for an hour, I actually got really into this scene and pushed aside some other tasks tonight so I could finish it. I’m quite pleased with how it’s come out for a first draft.

Content warning for illness and prescription pain relievers in case anyone needs it.

Christian's phone let out an insistent buzz that seemed to shake the entire sofa and drill its way straight into the centre of Vincent's brain.

Too sick and exhausted to do anything about it, even if he <em>could</em> manage to figure out where the noise was coming from and make it stop, Vincent let it ring.

And ring.

And ring.

After the third cycle, Vincent risked flicking his eyes open and shifting around to locate the phone. He regretted it immediately as once again the room tilted around him, his stomach lurching and swooping along with it. He slammed his eyelids closed, sucking in deep breaths and swallowing down the nausea for what felt like the hundredth time that day, and buried his face into the comforting fabric of his sofa.

Another ring, and Vincent was close to saying fuck it all, fighting back the waves of dizziness and sickness until he could locate the source of the sound, fling his arm out to grab hold of it, and throw it across the room as hard as he could. Which, all things considered, probably wasn't that far. At worst, he figured, it would topple to the floorboards at the foot of the sofa as he shoved it away. Probably wouldn't even scratch the screen.

Thankfully, Vincent heard Christian's soft footfalls on the stairs just before he resorted to anything drastic.

"Christiaan," he yelled out. Or, tried to yell out, but his face was still jammed into the sofa cushion so it came out as more of a muffled groan.

"Vince?" Christian's voice immediately rushing closer, laced with the same concern Vincent had been hearing there all day. Ordinarily, he'd fight back about it, telling Christian he was fine and not to worry about him, he could take care of himself, but in this case he found he didn't mind a little bit of sympathy and coddling.

"Your phone," Vincent said, still not bothering to move his face out of the sofa cushion.

"What?" Christian asked, voice closer now, just beside Vincent's ear. His hand rested warm and heavy on Vincent's back, just between his shoulder blades.

"Phone," Vincent said again, this time managing to lever himself a few centimetres upward as he spoke the word before crashing back to the sofa.

"Wha...oh."

Christian's hand pressed down harder against his spine for a few seconds as he leaned over to retrieve his phone from where it rested on the arm of the sofa nearest Vincent's head. He settled back down, crouched on the floor beside the sofa, his right hand now absentmindedly rubbing small, soothing circles into Vincent's skin.

"Ugh," he said after a moment. "I think he's just going to keep calling until I answer him. One second, okay. Just let me tell him I won't be making it tonight and then I'm all yours, okay?"

At this, Vincent shifted, lifting his head and dropping it to the side so he could look over at Christian through heavy-lidded eyes.

"Who's there?"

"Hm," Christian said, still staring down at the screen of his phone. "Oh. Toby. I imagine it's about...well I imagine it's about a lot of things, but mostly--"

"Dinner," Vincent said, cutting in before Christian could finish. He wasn't quite sure why or how he'd come to it, but somewhere in the back of his drug-clouded brain something clicked.

Friday night. Weekly dinner with the Eredivisie contingent.

"Yeah," Christian said. "That, and probably he's wanting to know if everything is okay since I sort of ran away from training without warning and never turned back up again. I sent him a text to let him know what happened, but I haven't checked in since we've arrived back home. I'll call him back and let him know I won't be making it and they should go ahead without me."

He leaned in and pressed blessedly cool lips to Vincent's forehead then stood up, fingers already swiping at the screen of his phone.

Vincent looked up at him for a second then squinted his eyes back shut against the harsh glare of the overhead light that haloed Christian--silhouetting him against the brightness and casting his features into vague, indistinct shadows. A second, and then Christian's words clicked through the fog in his mind.

"Why aren't you going?"

"What?"

"Dinner. Why aren't you going?" Vincent repeated, speaking slowly this time in an attempt to force his words to come out a bit clearer.

"Why am I not...what kind of question is that?"

Vincent sucked in a deep breath then pressed his hand into the sofa cushion and levered himself upward. He held the pose for a second, then gritted his teeth against the pain and the wave of nausea he knew was coming, and dropped back down to lay on his side, facing outward into the room.

He took a moment to regain his bearings, drawing and releasing a few more deep breaths until the sensations subsided and he could at least somewhat competently form words again.

"You never miss dinner," he said. "It's a thing. All of you. Unless someone is literally on their deathbed your presence is expected."

Christian let out a breath of a laugh and then dropped back down to sit beside the sofa once more. In his hand, his phone once more took up its insistent buzz and he swiped at the screen until the noise ceased.

"Wacht even, Toby," he said, frowning down at the screen before turning back to Vincent.

He reached up and ran a hand through Vincent's hair, brushing it away from his forehead. "Liefje, this is as close to 'on your deathbed' as I'd like to see. I think everyone can forgive me one dinner."

Vincent closed his eyes for a moment, letting himself relax into Christian's soft strokes smoothing at his hair. It had to feel horrible--stiff and greasy with long-dried sweat and the styling paste he'd used earlier that morning--but Christian didn't seem to mind.

He'd nearly drifted off, lulled to sleep by the soothing sensation of Christian's warm hand in combination with the pain relievers and the bone-deep exhaustion that had set in after the constant chaos of his day. He felt like he could sleep for days, and, honestly, that sounded like the most pleasing option of all--sleep right on through the weekend, blissfully unaware of the throbbing in his foot or the brain fog and illness from the drugs and especially the periodic realisation of what this all meant.

No Fener. No football. Not even allowed to put weight on his foot for weeks. Ready to go by January if he was lucky, but what team would want an out-of-form striker who hadn't played a full match in over a year?

Here in London, wrapped up in Christian's life for at least four more months, but at what cost.

Maybe he could fall asleep and wake up to find out this whole, horrible day had been nothing but a nightmare.

He flicked his eyes open to see Christian's face, eyes still laced with concern and fixed on his. His phone, back to vibrating with Toby's call once more, lay in his lap, ignored.

"'m so tired," Vincent mumbled, and Christian gave him a smile.

"I know. Sleep, Liefje. I'll be right here."

Vincent made a sound that was something between a snort and a groan. "You can't sit on the floor all night."

Christian's smile widened and he let out a small laugh. "No. Probably not. My feet are already getting pins and needles. Go to sleep and I'll go call Toby back and bring up a chair to sit in."

"No," Vincent said. He tried to put as much force as possible behind the word, but it still came out as a feeble whine.

"Vincent," Christian said, with all the gentle insistence of a parent trying to reason with a small child, "Go to sleep. It will be okay. I'll only be downstairs for a few moments and then I'll be right back here with you if you need anything."

Vincent felt like he was swimming through cotton wool, desperately trying to pull the thoughts and words out of his brain. His eyes fell closed once more and he fought against it, forcing them wide so he could stay awake and stay focused on Christian.

"No," he said again, though with somehow less force behind the words than previously. "That's not...I don't...Godverdamme I hate this. I can't think straight."

He lifted a hand to his face, his arm feeling like a dead weight as he dragged it towards him and jammed his thumb joint into his forehead as though somehow he might be able to press the thoughts in his mind into some kind of order.

"Shh," Christian said, his gentle strokes through Vincent's hair now faster as he worked to soothe Vincent. "Liefje, everything is going to be okay."

Vincent let out a long, low whine, but dropped his hand back to the sofa.

"No, Chris. I know. I'm just..." his voice weak and fractious in his own ear, and he hated this. Hated that he could do nothing but lay here, helpless, not even able to communicate his thoughts with any sort of coherence.

Deep breath, and he let it out slowly.

In front of him, Christian's phone once again resumed its insistent buzzing.

"In godsnaam, Christiaan, answer your fucking phone."

Christian's eyes went wide at Vincent's sudden outburst and he shifted back, a miniscule movement, but enough for Vincent to see he'd caught Christian off-guard.

"Yes," Christian said, voice soft and calm. "I'll just..."

He held up his phone then scooted away from the sofa, his hand leaving Vincent's hair and dragging across his cheek with the movement.

"Christiaan," Vincent said, calmer now, and Christian stopped.

"What, Vincent?"

"I'm...trying to say..." Vincent sighed and tried again. "Go to Toby's. Have dinner with your friends."

"But you're--"

"I'm tired and I don't feel good and I honestly just want to sleep for the next year and wake up and find out this was all a horrible dream."

"Oh, Liefje," Christian once again reached for him, but this time stopped short of his head and instead wrapped Vincent's hand up in his.

"No," Vincent said once more. "It's not...you don't have to stay. You shouldn't stay here and watch me sleep. Go out. Be with your friends. I'll be fine."

Christian shook his head, the movement making Vincent's head spin until he squeezed his eyes shut.

"The doctors said someone should stay with you. To make sure things are going alright with the pain medicine. You've already been sick from them, I don't want to leave you here alone."

Vincent let out another half-groan, half-whimper.

"Chris, I'll be alright. The worst of the sickness has passed and I'm just so tired. If you're worried about the floors, then leave the bin by the sofa. I'll call you if it gets really bad. Honestly, I'll probably just sleep the whole time and won't even notice you're away."

"It's not that, it's..." Christian trailed off. "I'd rather stay. I'll feel better if I stay."

"It's not..." Vincent sucked in another breath as he worked to unjumble the words on his tongue. "It's not that I don't want you here. I do. I don't know what I would have done today without you, but... you have your life, too. The dinners are important to you and with Toby's plans still uncertain..."

"I'll see them all tomorrow," Christian cut in, but Vincent shook his head, the movement once again setting everything to rocking and tipping.

"Go. There's no sense you sitting around here on a Friday night watching me sleep. Tell everyone I said 'hi' and good luck in tomorrow's match."

Christian didn't say anything for long moments, and Vincent had to fight to hang onto his consciousness in the heavy silence of the room.

"You'll call me?" Christian asked. "Anything at all, and you'll call me? I'm just up the street at Jan's, I can be back here in ten minutes."

"Go, Lieveke," Vincent said, forcing his eyes open once again so he could stare over at Christian. "I'll call you, I promise."

Another long silence, Christian worrying at his bottom lip, Vincent's hand still firmly clasped in his, and Vincent did his best to give it a feeble squeeze.

Eventually, Christian let out a strangled noise, then climbed to his feet. He shook out his legs a bit, first one, then the other, almost certainly trying to work the feeling back into them after spending the past several minutes sitting cross-legged on the hardwood floor.

"Okay. I'll go. But just for dinner, I'm not staying for the board games or any of it. Two hours, tops, and then I'll be back."

He stepped away from the sofa, then lifted his phone, jabbed at the screen, and held it to his ear before ducking out of the room and into the hallway.

Vincent let his eyes fall closed once more, but he kept up his battle against the sleep that threatened to overtake him. He wanted to at least be awake to see Christian off, if he could.

Christian's half of the phone conversation drifted in through the door, his voice hushed and low. Vincent tuned in on it, trying to discern which of his friends Christian might be speaking with. It had been Toby who had kept up the insistent stream of phone calls and messages, but from the sounds of things, Christian was speaking to one of the others instead.

"...fine," Christian said. "He's...well, honestly I don't know. Physically it's...not good, but..."

A pause and then.

"Yes. But only for dinner. I don't want to be away longer than I have to."

"No. He's actually the one insisting that I go."

Vincent smiled at that, picturing the exasperated eye roll he could hear in Christian's voice.

"Yes. I hope you don't mind that I'm not exactly dressed for dinner. I just about managed to get a shower in earlier. Things have been...I'll tell you about it later."

Another long pause and then. "Right. Speak soon."

A second later, Christian slipped into the room. Vincent flicked his eyes open once more and gave him what he hoped was his most encouraging smile. "Go, Lieveke</em>. Have fun with your friends. You deserve it after today."

Christian laughed at this, then shook his head. "You're the one lying there sick and in pain and you're telling me I deserve a night out? You're really something."

Vincent tried to return the laugh, but all that came out was a weak cough. "Oh. I deserve several nights out, but I don't really think that's in the cards for me this evening. Anyway, it's the least I can do for you after probably destroying the interior of your car."

"Ugh," Christian said, wrinkling his nose at the memory of their harrowing drive home a few hours ago. "How could I have forgotten that? I can't go out. My car is..."

"You can take mine," Vincent said. "Keys are...somewhere. Fuck if I know."

He let his eyes slide shut once again, and Christian bent down and pressed another cool kiss to his forehead. "I'll find them. Sleep well. Call me if you need anything."

"I will, Christian. I promise. Just go. Have fun. Tell everyone I said hi."

Christian leaned into the kiss for a second, smooth lips pressing a wet mark into Vincent's skin, then ruffled a hand through Vincent's hair one last time, straightened up, and stepped back.

Vincent heard him rustling around in the corner of the room for a bit, presumably looking for Vincent's keys. He tried to break once more out of the grip of sleep, but it was clear he was about to lose the battle this time. He mumbled a sleepy "Ik hou van je." in Christian's direction, and slid into darkness before he heard Christian's reply.

[daylighteclipsed]

I read The Adventure Begins novel and I have a lot to say. This list is pretty long, so most of it is under the cut:

The Amulet is like a countdown clock, so a Trollhunter knows if they’re going to die soon.

Kanjigar, Blinky, and Aaarrrgghh are best friends and went on adventures together.

cool in theory but contradicts canon since Kanjigar believes “a Trollhunter works alone.” That’s why he and Jim clash.

But the past adventure they talk about is clever omg the frightened human pilots thought the goblins were Gremlins 

“[Kanjigar] moved closer, wanting to share the pride he felt for Draal...until he remembered the Amulet that occupied the space between his heart and his son.”

This line is so powerful. I now want to kick Merlin’s ass for Jim and Kanjigar.

Kanjigar praying Merlin not choose his son as the next Trollhunter seconds before he dies is so powerful too. I’m literally going to kick Merlin’s ass.

Jim has scars on his fingertips from all the times in the past he messed up using his Santoku knife.

“Kids, don’t try this at home, Jim thought. Unless your mom works crazy long hours and you’ve gotten sick of eating PB and J alone every night.”

All I can see is young tiny Jim sitting at this vacant kitchen table in a big empty house munching on a sandwich all by himself...And years later he’s eating better meals, but he’s still alone. i’m going to cry.

but i refuse to believe Jim never invites Toby over for dinner! refuse

who gave Jim a sword, why does he have a sword, give the boy a knife, let him fight with knives

Jim shits on his gpa and claims he’s not good at school but he’s taking AP history so...I'm thinking he’s just one of those kids that thinks a B or C is terrible

Plus I can’t see Barbara letting Jim get away with bad grades. Or Jim letting himself get away with bad grades when his mom works so hard to provide for them. He’s shown to be a hard worker in canon.

Jim has an anxiety disorder. Before he even becomes the Trollhunter. IDC if its not explicitly stated as such; every page is Jim worrying and wishing he would stop worrying and overthinking and feeling like he’s running out of time and it hinders his ability to concentrate or exist in the moment. Jim himself describes this as the norm too, like its an “all the time” thing, constant and persistent. and he feels so relieved in the very brief moments his head is free of “anxious thoughts.” Like there are so many examples. If I were to list them all this post would be very very long.

But I think its clever how the author weaves Jim’s pre-established anxiety, that feeling of running out of time, into the Amulet constantly ticking like a clock. And I guess if Kanjigar’s anything to go by, it is a countdown clock for how long Jim has left to live.

It brings a new meaning to Steve taunting Jim with the “tick-tock” gesture too.

Toby uses baby wipes to wipe his sweat away.

Toby unabashedly flirts with the ladies, even flashing the cheesy finger guns.

Jim’s such a soft loser he can recognize the flower Claire’s perfume smells like: Gardenias. 

Jim first saw Claire at one of her mom’s fundraisers at the hospital and started crushing when she requested the DJ play Papa Skull and rocked out on the dance floor all by herself.

My daughter is brave and true.

Likewise Claire started crushing on Jim when she noticed him dancing with his mom.

My son is loyal and caring.

These moments are character defining. In a sense, they fell for each other’s souls. (Claire’s a Gryffindor, Jim’s a Hufflepuff. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.)

Toby and Jim are bullied pretty regularly. Toby “had been the victim of numerous practical jokes during his childhood”. Steve gave Toby a wedgie a week before when the book takes place. And when Jim realizes what he’s done by standing up to Steve, he’s literally nauseous imagining the beating he’s going to get.

Jim’s not worried about dying, so much as how his death would affect his mom. This comes up twice.The second time its the final push he needs to fight back against Bular.

“Master Jim, you are now responsible for the protection of two worlds, human and Troll alike. If you don’t bring balance to the force keep the balance, evil trolls like Bular will come into yours and wreak havoc.”

“Toby knew that panicked look on Jim’s face all too well.” Did I mention Jim has anxiety

“Jim...looked around the pleasant neighborhood. All around him, families sat down together for dinner, parents helped kids with homework, and teens texted and gamed with one another. But not Jim. That kind of normal life clearly wasn’t meant for him.” I'm so emo

“I SURVIVED BULAR AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID AMULET” Someone please draw Jim wearing this as a t-shirt.

Blinky knows how Wi-Fi works and that humans like to send each other “adorable pictures of cats.”

“Thank you, Merlin, thought Kanjigar. Thank you for hearing my wish and sparing my son so that he may live a life free of your demands.” im going to KICK MERLIN’S ASS. SQUARE UP OLD MAN

“Over the centuries Kanjigar had seen full-grown trolls, some triple his size, cower in fear when the Amulet chose them. And yet here was this human child who somehow managed to withstand the Amulet’s burden--and still keep going.” listen I'm fucking crying i love Jim so much

Basically this book has a lot of good lines and moments and headcanons (unless the book’s been confirmed canon, idk?) but yeah I’m glad I read it.

[writingismyhappytime]

Bucky Barnes (Part 8)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Language, Violence, Death

"Barnes, you can't be serious." You scoff, crossing your arms. "Why are you going on a mission with Rogers? Why can't he take someone else?"

"Because we always go together." Bucky answers simply, still beneath his bike. It's taking him an extra few days to get the parts he needed, so he's been spending a lot of time trying to get it back together. He can see your feet from beneath the machine, and he knows by your tone this isn't going to be a peaceful conversation.

"Why do you have too, though? Why can't you just stay here where I ---?"

"Where what?" he sighs when you stop, and slowly pushes out from beneath the motorbike, seeing your chagrined expression from where you lean against a column. "Where you can make sure I don't run into the arms of another woman?"

You roll your eyes, refusing to smile; now that he's relaxed around you, he's actually got a sense of humor and a smart mouth you're not accustomed too. He's spent every night at your place now, and you're not sure if the rest of the tower knows or not, but you really don't care. They're all nosy and snoops, so you figure you couldn't hide the relationship if you tried.

"I just... I don't like the idea of just you and Rogers going out. Take one of the others with you. I know Hydra hasn't been super active lately, but that's actually a bad sign, it means they're planning something and ---."

"I don't think they're interested in me," Bucky says after a moment, and he reluctantly rises to his feet. You let your eyes trail over the large man, at how gracefully he gets to his feet, despite his size. Your eyes linger on his hands as they wipe black onto a towel, knowing what they can do, for pleasure and pain.

"They're always interested, Bucky."

"Look, it's just for a day, you won't even notice I'm gone," he assures you, tossing the rag away. He steps over to you, brushing an errant strand of hair out of your face. "You're safe here in the tower, no one is going to dare attack, not while everyone is here. Me and Steve will be back before you know it."

You huff. "I don't care if Rogers flies off a fucking cliff and lands in another iceberg."

Right; you're never going to get over that, are you? Bucky doesn't comment, there's not a point; you're pissed at Rogers and that's not going to change for a while. Still, Bucky has to go, and he has no worries that anything will go wrong while he's away.

"How about I come with you?" You suggest after a moment, looking up.

"Come with me? And Steve?"

"I can make sacrifices."

"There's no need. If you're gone, who's going to watch after Toby?"

"He's a cat, he's resourceful. It's just for a day, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I can come."

"(Y/N)," Bucky frowns. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"(Y/N)."

"I just --- I have a bad feeling, is all," you fidget, looking down. "I don't think you should go."

"It'll be fine."

"You keep saying that, but I'm not so sure." Your bad feelings always pan out, one way or another. The idea of Bucky going somewhere you can't be around him makes you nervous, and you're not generally a clingy person. You're just worried, and you don't want him going, he's --- well, sort of important to you.

Plus the only one in the whole tower that even knows what's going on with you.

"What kind of mission is it, anyway?" You ask, seeing the distraction in his face. You reach up, cupping his prickly jaw, blue eyes finding yours. You frown up at him, wondering what he has on his mind.

Bucky hesitates, but then his hands are slipping around your waist, and he's leaning into you, seeking the comfort of your body against his. He sighs, letting his forehead rest against yours.

"We're checking a lead about a missing agent. She disappeared a few days ago, and we think it's Hydra."

"So what happens if you find her and it's a showdown?" You ask, chewing your lower lip. "Wouldn't it be more beneficial to send more then just two? And why you two specifically? There's plenty of other agents, isn't there?"

"Steve volunteered to go himself, it's just a mission to check it out."

"So then why are you going?"

"Because I don't want him going alone."

"Because it can be dangerous."

You're turning this around on him and he doesn't like that.

"No, it's not supposed to be. Even if it is, though, it's safer for the two of us to go ourselves then send someone who can get hurt."

"You're not bullet proof, Bucky! You can get hurt just as much as someone else!"

"I'm much less likely."

"Yeah? Well, what if it's an ambush?" You demand, stepping away from him; being so close is distracting, and the pure male scent of him --- well, you haven't had such great sex in all your life, so currently you're still sort of wanting more of it. Being so close definitely makes you just want to rip his clothes off no matter where the two of you are. "What if they know your trigger word, and you go all zombie, and ---?"

"That's not going to happen."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do. There's no reason for you to be so upset, it's not supposed ---."

"For fucks sake, Bucky, if it's not supposed to be dangerous, then why can't I come?"

"You know why! You can't leave the tower ---."

"Yes I fucking can," you seethe, glaring at him as your hands go to your hips. "I'm not going to let them scare me until I'm forced to hide in this place! If I want to go out, I will!"

"Not unless someone is with you."

"What are you, my mother?"

"I just want you safe, that's all. If we do run into trouble and find the agent, being the middle of a fight with Hydra isn't going to be where I want you." Bucky is annoyingly calm, he knows you're spoiling for a fight because you're mad at him; he's leaving on the mission, he already agreed, he just didn't realize you'd make this big of an issue out of it. He absolutely doesn't want you leaving the tower unless he's at your side, that's one thing he will fight about.

"I can take care of myself."

"I know, but Hydra is more of an opponent then what you're used too."

"Oh, like those aliens weren't?" You snap, bristling at him. "If I can deal with them, what's a few agents?"

"The aliens didn't know you, these agents will, and will have powers of their own. They're not going to be helpless, and while they might not be gunning to kill you, they won't stop from hurting you if that's what it takes to capture you." He wishes you'd stop being so stubborn, you already know all of this! The other night he'd explained everything, how Hydra works, what bullshit they do and pain they cause. They'll hurt you if they capture you, and they'll twist your mind so much you won't know who you are anymore.

Bucky doesn't want to lose you, you're the one good thing in the world he finds he cares about. Your relationship, whatever it is, might still be new, but it's what he needs in his life. You keep him grounded, from your sharp tongue to your gentle kisses. If Hydra gets you, he'll lose all of that, and you'll lose yourself.

Neither of you want that.

You're silent, but he knows that's not a good sign. He likes it better when you're hissing at him, not just glaring at him with a mutinous look on your face.

"Are you going to make me worry for you the entire time I'm gone?" He asks softly after a moment, his hands hanging limply at his sides as he looks at you, that wounded look in his blue eyes. To be a super soldier, he's very sensitive.

"You have nothing to worry about and you know it."

"Do I? How am I going to know if you decide to leave and get yourself into trouble?"

"Why not stay here then? Make sure I don't go out?"

"Because you know I can't. Why is this even an argument?"

"It's not," you grind your teeth, your stomach tightening. You just... "I just --- I have this bad feeling, Bucky, and when I do, shitty things happen. Please, just... just don't go tonight, okay? Just stay here, let Steve take someone else." You run a hand through your hair wearily. "Just believe me on this one, alright?"

Bucky frowns.

You know he can't stay here, that he has to go. You're just worried about him, you're used to being around him every day.

"There's going to be nothing to worry about." He says after a moment, shaking his head. He watches as your shoulders slump in defeat, and his gut tightens. "I'll be back tomorrow night, and it'll be normal again."

"Bucky, I'm not trying to be some clingy, annoying girlfriend here, I'm serious."

"I am too." He gazes at you, eyes darkening. "No one will stop me from coming back to you."

He --- what?

You blink, caught off guard by his words. You stare at him, hesitating, your mind suddenly forgetting your next argument. He gives you one of his shy smiles, and his metal hands takes yours, gently, just like he always does. He gives the smallest of pressures, bringing your knuckles to his lips; he can smell your lotion, the vanilla cupcake scent familiar and comforting. You're a baker, so he's not surprised you smell like home.

"So, if you're not a clingy girlfriend, what kind are you?" he asks after a moment, his smile turning mischevious.

"The one who's going to punch the fuck out of you in a minute."

Bucky chuckles, and tugs, pulling you into the curve of his arms and locking them behind your lower back. You let your fingers rest against his chest, able to feel the calm beating of his heart as you tilt your head back to look up at him.

"So you are my girlfriend then?" he murmurs, eyes on yours and refusing to let you look away. Your cheeks heat immediately, and you bite your lower lip, not quite sure what to say. That's not what you'd been implying whatsoever, you were just trying to make a point.

"Bucky ---."

He cuts off whatever you're going to say with his lips, and you can't help but immediately melt into him, kissing him back. Being called his girlfriend makes you feel like a silly teenager, and you know you're not really... well, someone that another person would want to claim. You're spontaneous, bitchy, bitter about your past and present and with a harsh tongue.

You don't know how Bucky stands you, but you're grateful that he does.

"If we hurry, we can have some time together before I leave," he murmurs against your lips, causing you to smile.

"You want to fuck as much as possible beforehand, you mean?"

"Yes."

"Fine. But only because you're hot."

Bucky laughs.

~~~~~~~~~

You lean against the wall, watching as Rogers and Bucky say bye to Wanda and Stark. Bucky is quiet, just like he always is. He doesn't say anything to the two people in front of him, his eyes drawing back to where you lean. You give him a small smile and wave, your hair drawn down your neck, hiding the rather impressive hickey he left there for good measure.

He almost smirks.

"You need to check in every two hours," Stark is saying to Rogers, neither of them really looking at the other; there's an animosity between the two that's never been settled, and you know it has something to do with Stark's father, whose name you can't remember other then Mr. Stark. He was an asshole from what you've heard, but that's none of your business. "No questions asked, we need updates."

"Got it." Rogers nods, wearing his Captain America outfit and looking like the American flag puked all over him. You find the outfit tacky, but at least you're not the one who has to wear it. You told Bucky that earlier, and he just laughed.

At least he looked hot in his armor, Rogers looks like a sideshow act.

Or, you're just biased, and whatever Rogers wears you'll make fun of.

You sigh as the two soldiers turn away, Bucky's eyes lingering on yours for a few moments longer before he looks away, his face hardening. He's not looking forward to leaving you, but it's a necessary evil, and he has a job to do.

That's what he tells himself.

~~~~~~~~

"We're close," Steve murmurs, he and Bucky crouching down low behind a row of crates. It's the middle of the night, the sun will be rising in two hours, and the warehouse in front of them is lit up like the fourth of July. Bucky can see armed guards, but that doesn't necessarily mean Hydra.

"What's the plan?" he asks, flexing his metal fingers against the cold concrete he's crouching on. He can see some barrels up ahead, explosive or not, and the men around them chatting; the air is cold, Bucky can see his own breath, but it doesn't phase him, he's used to worse.

"We need a distraction, a way to get in." Steve murmurs, eyes narrowing thoughtfully.

The ride to the warehouse from Stark Tower had been like old times, full of small talk, but no mention of you. Steve said his piece, and he meant every word, so he's going to let Bucky handle it from there. No matter what, he'll be there for his old friend, he always is.

"I can cause one, keep them focused on me. Are you going in to check the hostage?"

"Yup."

"Alright," Bucky reaches for his gun, quietly clicking the safety off.

Now comes the fun part.

~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, tuna can."

Stark closes his eyes, reminding himself to keep his temper as he hears your voice. He slowly turns, the lights glinting off his glasses. You're standing in his office, your hands on your hips and a narrowed expression on your face that doesn't make him feel any better about having to look at you.

If he could ship you off to another part of the world, he would, you get under his skin.

"What is it?" He huffs, folding the papers he was looking at.

"Where are Barnes and Rogers going?" Bucky wouldn't tell you the location.

"Alaska, why?"

You narrow your gaze. "How are they supposed to be back by tonight?"

Stark frowns. "They're not. Unless they find the hostage or what happened to her, I don't expect they'll be back for a few days."

WHAT!?

You can feel the heat rising up your body, starting at your toes.

Stark blinks, waiting for the steam to start rolling out of your ears any minute; why does this piss you off? He can tell it in the way you tense, you're like an open book with your body language. You inhale deeply a moment, and Stark glances over as he hears something hit the floor, one of his books collapsing off the shelf.

That fucking --- Bucky lied to you!

He fucking lied to your face!

"When are they supposed to check in next?" You demand, ignoring the your reflection in the glass walls of Stark's office; you think it's rather stupid he has glass for walls, they're not very safe. Not defensible.

"In another few hours."

"Good. I want to talk to them."

~~~~~~~

Bucky throws himself forward, landing hard on his flesh arm as he avoids the hail of bullets. He grunts, clutching his gun in his hand as he rolls to his knees, shoving his back against the shipping container.

Well, the distraction was going well.

He hopes Steve can get inside virtually undetected, Bucky is pretty sure he got the spotlight well enough when he exploded one of the barrels and started firing at the armed men. He's hit a few of them, not enough to kill, he's being careful, but enough to put them out of commission.

He grinds his teeth, aggravated when he hears the com in his ear crackle to life.

"Not the time!" He hisses, rearing back to fire around the container, bullets pinging off the shattered light post, shouts echoing in his ears.

"Oh, you fucking --- you better believe it's the time!"

Bucky hesitates as he suddenly hears your venomous voice in his ear, and he whirls around, off guard.

"(Y/N)?"

"Why the fuck didn't you say you were going to Alaska?"

"Uh, I ---." Bucky flounders; well, because he knew you'd pitch a fit. He hadn't wanted to lie, but if he'd told you the truth, you never would have let him leave. "How did you get the com?"

"I shoved Fitz out of the way, how else?"

Why is he even surprised?

He withholds a sigh, and reaches for his belt, grabbing one of the grenades. It's not going to cause too much damage from this distance, but it'll definitely be a loud boom. There's too many armed men, and if Bucky doesn't want to start killing them, Steve is going to have to hurry up inside. It's been ten minutes and that's too long.

He tugs the pin out of the grenade, tightening it in his palm before he brings his arm back and throws it as hard as possible, sending it sailing through the smokey air. He hears it pings before he takes cover, and the nearby explosion is loud enough to be heard through his com.

"Bucky!?"

"Fine, just a grenade." He grunts, checking how many rounds he has left in his gun. Not many, and he's running out of time. If he has to go hand to hand, he will, but it's not going to bode well for them. "We're at the warehouse, Steve's gone in to retrieve the target."

"How many men is there?" Bucky recognizes Stark's voice; are the two of you in the same room and not at each others throats?

"Not sure, too many. This place is heavily guarded. They're keeping something here other than some hostage," Bucky mutters, listening to the shouts filling up the night, fires starting to erupt all over the place as his grenade does its task. The air is so cold, Bucky's breath shudders out in front of him, his chest moving rapidly.

"Rogers?"

"I'm --- looking ---," Rogers voice is crackly, and from the spaces between words it's obvious he's fighting, Bucky can just hear the clinks of his shield against something.

"What's inside the warehouse?"

"Boxes. Crates. Some kind of equipment."

"Have you seen any trace of the target?"

"Not yet."

"How long have you been engaged?"

"Fifteen minutes, tops."

Bucky narrows his gaze, tuning out the conversation in his ear as he spies trucks rolling in. He hesitates, edging a little out from behind the metal shipping container, trying to get a better view.

"We got trucks rolling in." He mutters, darting from behind the container and for some smashed pallets, using them as a shield. Everyone is distracted by the fires, they're not currently looking for him. "More soldiers. Back up, probably."

"This is taking too long!" Steve snaps, sounding aggravated. "I can't get even close to the offices ---."

"I'm coming in," Bucky says, his voice hard as he darts forward, not waiting for confirmation. Steve obviously can't fight everyone by himself, and in the confusion Bucky has created, it's possible for him to slip inside. There's a lot of soldiers, more and more men in black, but none of them are wearing the Hydra logo.

Is it possible they have wrong information?

What's really being held here?

He can see Steve on the upper level, fighting through the soldiers trying to kill him on the catwalk. Bucky lets Captain America handle them, instead making a beeline for the back of the warehouse, keeping low behind the equipment and cargo inside. He hates the smell, the freezing air only making his nose and lungs burn as he moves.

He suddenly understands why you had a bad feeling.

His steps are silent as he moves forward with catlike grace, prowling up behind two men. He sheaths his gun, ignoring the buzzing voices attempting to distract him in his ear. He focuses solely on the targets in front of him, his training taking hold. He steps up behind them, and before they can react their skulls are crashing together, both of them crumpling to the ground.

Bucky dips, grabbing their guns and slinging the straps over his shoulder, making a break across an open part of the warehouse floor, boots crunching through broken glass and shattered wood. Steve sees him from above, shoving another man off the catwalk and into the pallets below. He needs to get to the offices near him, search them, find the hostage if he can and if she's still alive.

What could Hydra want with someone like her? From the information, she had just been leaving Stark Tower, where she'd been discussing some kind of contract for helping the city rebuild. She wasn't high level, had no clearance --- what did she know that that Hydra wanted?

It didn't make sense to him.

Bucky curses silently as he shoves open office doors gun first, finding them all empty, sparse of furniture. It's too obvious to keep the operative somewhere up front, isn't it? He sighs as he keeps going, keeping the gun close to his body, eyes hard.

"Anything?" Stark's voice buzzes.

"No."

Where did you go?

Are you still in the room with Stark? You have a bad habit of biting your nails when you're upset, so Bucky can imagine you there at the controls, biting them as your worried eyes look at nothing in particular.

He wishes you hadn't figured it out.

He's sure you're going to ream his ass when he gets back.

He kicks open another door, firing his gun when he sees movement. The soldiers immediately duck for cover, tossing themselves behind a desk. His eyes flick, seeing a door in the back of the room, one that none of the others had. He steps forward, making sure to keep firing until he can find cover for himself. He curses the instant he ducks, hearing the soldiers immediately begin to return fire.

His heart thunders in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he counts the seconds. He can see the blurs in the corner of his vision, the bullets impaling themselves int the concrete walls, pinging off them and rolling across the floor. The room is hot, despite the cold outside, and Bucky's grip feels slick on his weapon as he abruptly shoves to his feet, moving as he fires himself.

One of the soldiers screams, falling back immediately, giving Bucky time to reach them. He lunges at the remaining soldier, grappling with him, easily getting his arm around the younger man's throat and choking him out.

They aren't even in the same league as him.

He lets the man collapse to the floor, stepping over his body and starting for the blue door in the back, the lights gleaming off his metal arm as he pushes it open. It creaks loudly, and Bucky feels his chest pinch.

Oh no.

He walks forward, seeing the young woman slumped forward in a chair, her arms tied behind her. He hesitates, seeing the blood staining her clothing, and the cuts and open wounds on her visible skin. He nudges the chair with his foot, but she doesn't stir.

He sighs, and his fingers dart to her neck, pressing against the cold skin.

"The hostage is dead," he says after a moment, voice clipped. "We're too late."

There's no immediate reply, then, "How long?"

"A few hours. She's not been gone long. They tortured her for whatever she knew." He's not going into details, not if you're still in the room with Stark, you don't need to know the physical condition of this woman. He glances at the open door, still hearing fighting. "We should retreat."

"Are you sure she's gone?" It's Steve's voice, hopeful.

"Yes." Bucky grimaces, seeing the red lines pouring from her throat. Her head is tilted forward, hair curtaining her face, but he can see her neck just fine. "They slit her throat, she's gone."

Steve curses.

So much for saving lives.

"We're going to have to fight our way out of here."

"Wouldn't expect any other way."

~~~~~~

"Who was the woman?" You ask after a moment, standing with Stark at his desk. He looks worried, grim, and it's not a good look for him. He slowly takes his glasses off his face, tossing them onto his desk with a sigh.

"Stacy. She's new, just out of the academy. She was doing the contracts between Stark and the city, where I can help use my technology to rebuild it. She's been here a few times."

"I think I've seen her," you murmur; you and Bucky had run into the perky red head the other day, just as she was leaving with an armful of papers. How could she know possibly anything? Why did Hydra kill her?

You feel sick, thinking about the girl who'd been so lively and full of smiles; Bucky had said she'd been tortured...

"Barnes and Rogers are returning now, they should be here in eight hours, tops."

"What about the girls body?"

"We'll send someone to recover it, for her family." Stark mutters, sitting down slowly in his chair, as if the news had aged him ten years. He sighs as he tilts his head back, gazing up at his ceiling. You almost want to comfort him, offer him some words that might make him feel better, but you don't know any. You're not good at making other people feel better.

"I'm sorry," you say after a moment, biting your lip. He must have known her personally, and that makes it worse; is that why Rogers had volunteered, because she was a friend of Stark's?

"Thank you." Stark says after a moment, exhaling heavily.

You don't know what else to say, so after a second you turn away, intent on leaving the room.

"(Y/N)," Stark calls out just as you reach the door, and you pause, your fingers curling around the handle as you turn to look at him over your shoulder.

"Yes?"

"This thing you have with Barnes," Stark knows he's crossing a line, but he'd heard the rumors, Wanda likes to chatter. "Don't let it interfere with his job."

You frown, straightening. "We don't have a thing."

"I'm not blind, and neither is anyone else in this tower."

Ahuh.

You're not sure if you're being insulted, or chastised, or what, so you don't say another word, just leave.

People should mind their own fucking business.

~~~~~~~

"I just don't understand it. Why did they take her? What did they want from her?" Steve paces back and forth inside the private jet heading for New York. He looks worried, unsettled. He'd wanted that young girl to be alive, not for her life to be wasted. "What could she possibly know?"

"I don't know." Bucky watches his friends erratic pacing. "Could they want to know about the rebuilding of the city?"

"I can't imagine how that would be important to them."

"Maybe Stark's technology?"

"No, he keeps what's really important to himself, and not on paper where it can be stolen. That girl was just carrying blueprints and contracts, nothing more. Obviously if they wanted the papers, they didn't have to go through the effort of taking her, either. She knew something, I just --- I don't know what."

Well.

Bucky sighs, sinking lower in the white chair. He stretches his legs out in front of him, wanting nothing more then to get some shut eye on the plane ride back, but Steve's pacing isn't going to let him take a nap. He'll be tired by the time he gets back to the Tower, and then he's going to have to listen to you bitch at him and raise hell because he fibbed slightly --- or, more or less, just didn't say everything.

"I've seen her around the Tower," he offers after a moment, propping his chin on his hand. "Passed her in the hall a few times."

He and you had saw her just the other day as you'd turned down the hall from the kitchens. You and her had stopped to talk for a moment, and you'd given her one of your freshly baked cupcakes; you're generous when you want to be.

"I have too, she was just... just a kid." Steve shook his head, bothered. "But there must have been something."

"Is there something in Stark Tower that Hydra might want?" Bucky offers. "Something she might have seen or overheard?"

"You'd have to ask Stark that."

Huh.

Bucky tries to think, but the only person Hydra could want there is you.

He stiffens.

You.

The girl had talked to you several times, you somewhat knew her enough to think her worthy of your baking. She knew of your powers, mostly just through the rumors of the agency, nothing more.

But --- you.

You.

Hydra wants you --- did they take the girl and interrogate her just to learn what she knew about you and your powers? Did she know about your relationship with Bucky, could she have told them that?

Son of a bitch!

Bucky shifts nervously, wondering if he's just being paranoid, connecting dots where he shouldn't, but he can't help it. You're important to him, and he'd rather Hydra take him then they get their hands on you.

Fuck.

"How much longer until we land?" He asks nervously.

"An hour, maybe thirty minutes." Steve crosses his arms with a sigh, the plane rocking slightly with turbulence.

Fuck.

Bucky clenches his hands, suddenly unable to hold still, his heart pumping hard inside his chest. The mission was a bust, a waste of time, he never should have gone, left you by yourself. You'd told him not to go repeatedly, tried to get him to stay because of your bad feeling --- maybe he should have listened to you.

"Sir."

Bucky and Steve look over, suddenly seeing the flight attendant in the door of the cockpit, her face bloodless.

"What is it?" Steve demands, running a hand through his blonde hair.

"A bomb just went off in Stark Tower."

~~~~~~~~~

You cough, groaning in pain where you lie. You're not sure what happened, your head is ringing, and your eyes burn too badly to open them. You'd been sneaking downstairs towards the main kitchen, intent on cooking something for yourself in the industrial oven --- maybe a strawberry shortcake, before Bucky returned.

Now, there's pain blazing through your side, and you're having a hard time breathing for all the dust. There's shouting in the distance, and the building is still shaking, trembling --- or maybe that's you, you can't tell.

You give it a few minutes, taking check of your body, finding your ribs are the only thing screaming in any pain. You slowly crack your eyes open, your head still buzzing, disorienting as you raise your head.

Huh.

You slowly shuffle, kicking some debris off your legs with a hiss of pain. You manage to push to your knees, looking down at your side; oh that's fucking lovely!

Rebar.

Your hand sweeps beneath your sweater, which falls open on either side of you, a light blue that Bucky says compliments your eyes. You press your hand hard against the wound, groaning as it makes your body shake.

Well, you can add being stabbed since joining the Avengers now.

What the hell happened?

A bomb of some sorts?

Everything was fine before it exploded into hell!

The wall beside you is collapsed, letting you see into what was once a sitting room, now just gaping out with busted windows, warm air billowing forth to shuffle your air. There's nothing from stopping you tumbling out of the building now, down ten floors.

You should avoid that area.

Grunting, you manage to stagger to your side, your blood staining your fingers; you hope it doesn't ruin your sweater, it's one of your favorites.

You lean back against the opposite wall, the buzzing in your head finally starting to die down, make it possible for to focus. You can hear yelling and shouting, meaning other people are around, although you can't see any of them.

Shit, your side hurts! You're pretty sure nothing major is fucked up there, the rebar just pierced your skin --- your ribs don't seem broken, and that really hurts.

Okay, you need to get out of this building, that's step one.

You force your legs to move, shuffling forward as you head for the stairwell --- you're not supposed to take elevators in situations like this.

When you turn the corner, you can see people flooding the stairs already, the door held open by some fallen debris so everyone can get out. You can hear this floor groaning, and you worry about it collapsing, falling the rest of the six stories down and taking all the people with it. You chew your lip, watching as everyone made it out, still needing some time to control your legs.

You don't feel your wound much, you figure your body is in shock, and that's fine with you.

"(Y/N)!"

You look over your shoulder, bleary eyes spying red hair.

"Natasha." You say, recognizing the assassin. She looks fine, so she must have been away from the worst of the blast, unlike you. "What the hell is happening?"

"We're under attack," she says, rolling up the sleeves of her shirt, eyes hard. "Hydra is attacking us."

"What?" You stare at her in surprise. "Why?"

"I don't know."

"Bucky and Rogers ---."

"I know --- I think kidnapping that girl was just a distraction to get them out of the way while they attacked." Natasha mutters, reaching for the gun on her belt; she knows, thanks to their genetic engineering, that they're the strongest fighters. She doesn't know where anyone else is, finding you is just coincidental.

"We need to get all the people out of the tower, see who's trapped." The words leave your lips before you can stop them; usually you're all for getting yourself out first, Bucky must be rubbing off on you.

"Can you check the rooms on this floor?" Natasha asks, pulling her cell phone from her pocket; she needs to check on Stark, on Wanda, make sure they're okay on the higher floors.

"Yes."

"Good. Call me if you need help, I'm heading up a few stories."

"Isn't that dangerous? What if the buildings collapses?"

"Then it does." Natasha doesn't wait for you to say anything else, just takes off, charging for the stairwell to go farther up.

You don't know if she's brave or stupid as hell.

You sigh, looking down at your waist, slowly peeling your hand away; you're still bleeding, but it's not bad enough where you'll die, you hope.

Fuck, you shouldn't even be here.

You grumble silently to yourself as you start through the floor, calling out occasionally, listening to any sounds of pain or groans. You look the best you can, but you don't see anyone around; if they're buried under some of the collapsed walls, you're not really sure what you can do for them anyway.

You hesitate as you hear footsteps, your head turning.

Those... are not people that you know.

You stare, seeing the men in black turning the corner, guns raised; they're just dressed in black armor, gas masks over their faces. Unless they're the rescuers here to save the day and can fucking teleport, you're figuring they're the bad guys.

All three of them.

You narrow your eyes at them, turning around in the hallway; you don't look like anything, dressed in a baby blue sweater, some skinny jeans and black flats. You're keeping your left hand pressed against your right side, trying to keep pressure the best you can, although the you know your face is streaked with gray.

"I don't assume you guys are here to help me look for survivors?" You ask lightly as they spot you, sidling closer together. They don't respond, just steadily move closer.

"Hands in the air!" One of them barks, voice muffled through the gas mask, and you quirk a brow.

Alright.

You lift your hand sharply as directed, and immediately their feet go out from under them. They yelp as they slam into the ceiling, and when you bring your hand down, they crash into the floor, hard.

You don't wait for them to get up, but instead take off, heading for the closest stairwell. Every step sends a harsh jab of pain into your side that you're starting to have a hard time ignoring, and you're having a hard time breathing as well. You curse mentally, wondering if you can survive a toss out one of the windows.

Theoretically --- no.

You fumble for your phone in your back pocket, glad that it wasn't damaged when you were tossed of your feet. You can only use one hand, but you manage to find Stark's number; you hope the tin can will answer.

It takes a few moments.

"There's fucking soldiers all over the sixth floor," you wheeze as you finally stagger to a stop, darting into one of the side rooms and shutting the door; it's dark, you can barely see, but you're hoping you can hide for a few moments. "What the hell is going on, Stark?"

"It's Hydra," he responds, and from the way his voice sounds you realize he's already in his suit. "They're attacking us."

"For what?" You squawk, nudging the light switch; you're relieved when the light flickers on, although it dims and flashes dangerously. "This place is just research, isn't it?"

"Yes. I don't know what they want. Do you need help?"

You look down at your bleeding side. "I'll be okay. I'm just trying to work my way down, I couldn't find anymore people on the floor except the soldiers."

"Good. Just see if you can't get out, if you need help ---."

"I'm on my own?" You snort, figuring that's what he's going to say.

"No. Call for me. Stay on the line, the others all have coms."

Yeah, you need to get one of those and not lose it.

"My cat!" You suddenly gasp, your eyes widening. "Fuck, Toby! He's still upstairs, he's all by himself!"

"(Y/N) ---."

"I have to go get him!"

"You have to get out of the tower!"

"Not without my cat!"

"I'm upstairs, I'll get him." You hear a voice respond, and you blink as you recognize it as the bird mans. "What number is your room?"

"234."

"On the East side?"

"Yes."

"That side wasn't damaged, he's probably fine," Sam, you think that's his name, says. "I'll get him and take him downstairs to where Wanda and Vision are."

"Thank you," you say in relief, worried for the small kitten; it would just kill you if something happened to him.

"Now get downstairs, (Y/N)," Stark tells you firmly, and you wonder if everyone can hear your conversation. "Natasha ---?"

"I'm on the seventh floor, there's soldiers everywhere." Her voice is tense, and you momentarily worry about her.

"On the fourth and third, too," Stark sounds frustrated. "What the hell are they after?"

"Maybe they're just trying to take you guys out." You offer, peeping out your door, seeing the carpeted hallway empty; where are those soldiers? "Y'know, Hydra is kind of your nemesis, right?"

"They could do that by taking us out individually, not like this." Natasha disagrees, and you hear gunshots through the phone pressed against your ear. You're leaned against the wall, peering out the door, giving yourself time to rest. You don't realize you're leaving a red smear against the wall behind you, that your side is numb and blood is seeping through your blue sweater. "They're searching for someone."

"How can you tell?"

"They're not tearing this place apart, looking for papers. It's someone."

Well.

"Can we find out who it is?" Stark asks, and you wince as you shift, finally taking a chance. You open the door slowly, poking your head out, but you don't see anyone. Looks like the coast is clear.

You start forward, heading for the stairs immediately, your footsteps silenced by the carpet. You huff, already out of breath and you're not even running.

"Want me to interrogate?"

"If you get the opportunity."

This is so annoying.

"When were Steve and Bucky set to land?" You vaguely hear Natasha ask, your eyes zeroing in on the other set of stairs. The door is on the ground, and half of the wall is collapsed. You hesitate as you near, cursing vehemently under your breath. You can't go down, the stairs are blocked by heavy pieces of debris. You'll have to go up and circle back around.

"Thirty minutes ago. They'll be here soon as backup."

"Was that girl some distraction for them to be out of here?" You ask after a moment, gingerly stepping forward on some rubble, climbing. You shuffle your phone between your shoulder and ear, having to use both hands to climb, sweat building on your skin as your grip slips a couple time; you were not made for this kind of physical activity!

"If she was, she wouldn't be dead." Stark's voice is grim.

Well, true.

Your feet finally greet hard stairs, and you start up them, legs trembling. You don't look at your side, you don't want to know the damage or how gross it looks --- or how ruined your clothes are. You just keep trekking, putting one foot in front of the others like you always do, listening to the chatter in your ear through a slick grip.

Both of your hands are bloody, your just don't realize it.

You can hear the building groaning, and it's all you can do to keep upright as the stairs shift beneath your feet. All the Avengers hear is your sharp intake of breath before the phone is falling out of your grip, tumbling down two stories and smashing into twisted iron. You cling to the stairs, doing your best to hold on as they groan, nearly detaching themselves from the wall.

"Fuck me," you groan, crawling forward, your eyes on the door. Your fingers curl around the frame, and you shove yourself forward just as the stairs, which shouldn't fucking collapse, do just that.

Great.

Now your phone is broken too!

Grumbling, you scoot back a couple spaces until you're against the wall, sighing.

Well, this isn't good.

You're not sure if you can make it around to the East side, where the other set of stairs are.

Not by yourself.

So you sit, just for a few more minutes, wondering at your life choices that brought you to this moment in time. You know you can't sit forever, but it feels nice too, especially since your entire right side is numb.

Maybe you should have mentioned that to the others, huh?

Nah.

They wouldn't have helped you anyway.

You grimace, and after a few tries you make it to your feet again. You use the wall to help you walk, your steps slow and faltering. Your mind is on Bucky, and you know he must be frantic. He'll be doing everything he can to make his way to the tower, to try to find you, and that gives you some solace.

He'll do anything for you, you just hope he's okay.

Even Rogers.

You should have called him instead of Stark, Bucky's voice at least offers you comfort.

Hey, isn't Natasha up here?

Running into her would be nice, this is the seventh floor, isn't it?

Your fingers leave a smear of blood as you shove away from a doorway, finally catching your balance. You manage to walk in a straight line, walking the long, twisting hallways you wouldn't think a building going straight up would have. You sigh, unable to hear anything, no voices, no gunshots.

Has everyone disappeared?

Maybe you're dead, stuck in limbo or something and cursed to wander this stupid building.

No, you're not that lucky, you'd be in Hell if you were dead.

Plus, your side hurts, so there's that.

You frown, following the signs, knowing the stairs are around somewhere.

Hmm?

You shriek as you see a bullet blur past your head out of the corner of your eye, pinging off the wall.

"Don't shoot her!" You hear someone hiss as you look over your shoulder, already throwing yourself around the corner. "That's who we're here for!"

Wait, what?

Here for?

Oh shit, are they after you!?

Shit!

Just your freaking luck!

Hydra --- why do they want you so bad, anyway?

You're not that impressive!

You struggle forward, your sweater flashing behind you as you make a mad dash for the stairwell door you can see. You throw yourself forward, the soldiers thundering after you as you start up the stairs. You nearly crumple on the first step you take, and as it is, your legs go out from under you, causing you to collapse onto them.

You don't stop, just keep crawling forward, dragging yourself up each one.

Stupid legs.

Useless things!

You look behind you, fear settling in your stomach as the soldiers start for you. You hiss as they grab your shoulder, wrenching you up. You fling your hand outward, and immediately two of them go sailing through the open door, although you can't seem to shake the one holding you.

"Let go of me!" You snarl, glowering at him.

"Target acquired," you hear his muffled voice say from behind the mask. "She's injured, requires medical attention."

He's going to require medical attention!

You grit your teeth, and your eyes flare bright for several seconds, although you don't realize it.

The man holding you is suddenly yelling, and you look up, sending him sailing straight up the center of the stairwell, hitting rails and stone as he goes, landing hard on one of the upper floors. You look at the two soldiers left, and fling your hands forward just as they raise their guns, causing the metal weapons to bend back on themselves.

"You fucking assholes," you growl, and your hand slices sharply through the air, causing them to yell as something hits them, tossing them down the flight of stairs.

You're not helpless.

You sigh, leaning over the railing. You can see their crumpled forms a few stories down, and you don't care if they're dead or not.

Shouldn't have touched you.

You wish Bucky is there, you told him not to leave!

One day, someone is going to listen to you.

Well, you need to go down, that's the only way out of the building. You go to take one step, holding tight to the cold iron of the rail, only to hesitate.

Crap!

You watch as black-clad soldiers pour through all the open doors below, and you duck back as they begin firing upwards; hey, what about not hurting you!? You curse, and immediately start up, finally catching your second wind. You fly up the steps, your power unconsciously helping you move faster, your body moving thanks to it rather then your own motivation.

They're not going to get you!

Maybe you can flag Stark down from the roof or something!

You step over the body of the man you tossed up, and the roof door throws itself open before you ever reach it. You stagger out onto the roof, the sun burning down on your skin. It's hot outside, whereas it's always cold inside the building. You look around desperately, then make a mad dash for the edge of the roof. You grab onto the edge, looking down.

You can see Sam, flying through the air, slinging soldiers as he goes. Stark is buzzing around like a bee, zipping in and out of the building. You shout at them, waving your arms desperately, but they don't seem to see you so high up.

Dammit.

"(Y/N)."

Huh?

You turn,  and stare.

"Cody."

Tags: @riegan, @miss-evil-one, @theonlyprincessoftheworld, @1voice-behind-the-silnce, @lilmissmoony, @lizandbooks, @isaxhorror, @shayx5, @theonlyprincessoftheworld, @iamwarrenspeace      @bigdaddyfairywinkle @itstrashleydude.  @scarlet-witch-baby.  @davros2004.  @vidiasnow.     @samijolles.   @soaringren.  @sophs-the-name.  @naturalistamisslyn    @sarahfhealy    @tienna-lauferson16   @fluentinfiction​

[fantasychica37]

Things I Did in Undertale

When I was playing, after I had accumulated a large number of fails, I decided to keep track of all the interesting things I did in Undertale to share with the world once I had finished.... only the list wound up being very different than I expected.

-Believed Flowey because I was a naive little cinnamon roll (OK, I watched the first 5 minutes of a playthrough when I was deciding whether or not to buy it, but still!)

-Got stuck with the menu controls and accidentally selected FIGHT and couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t move between items (although it seems to me like everyone has trouble with the menu & controls, next time have the controls available to look at, Toby Fox)

-Got killed by TORIEL

-Supposedly this is a nearly impossible feat and that’s quite impressive I managed that... nope, Asher, I just accidentally ran into the bullets like an idiot

-My friend was giving me vague hints so I tried to fight her and almost kill her and she had a full half of her HP left and I swear I wasn’t.... all right FINE I accidentally killed Toriel are you happy???? 

-And I had no idea what was going on and then she was still so nice WAAAAAAAH WHY MOM NOOOOOO

-Stood there for a second frozen in horror before closing the game window

-Had to do the whole long home sequence YET AGAIN

-Ate the cinnamon-butterscotch pie fighting Toriel

-Finally get past Toriel but then FUCKING FLOWEY MAKES FUN OF ME FOR SUCKING AT VIDEO GAMES SHUT UP I HATE THIS GAME

-What the... These monsters are so weird, and act like kids, and WAIT A MINUTE everyone is attacking me for no reason even though I haven’t killed anybody (permanently) I HATE THIS GAME

-Went on a date as a child??? I feel dirty participating in such a questionable situation...

-JIS STIY DITIRMIND shut up you condescending game that kills me and then offers me false encouragement

-Joined the online fandom early and got stuff spoiled

-Got stuck on Undyne and her stupid yellow arrows, gave up until I got my friend to get me past her when I went back to college for Homecoming two months later

-My grandmother was watching me play and got really interested in it!

-Many people in my Greek house full of nerds: “OMG you got Toriel to kill you? That’s very hard and very impre-” “SHUT UP I SUCK AT VIDEO GAMES”

-I HATE THIS GAME

-Therefore I missed the anniversary

-Apparently I should have been picking up more items to use as armor and HP, oh that random junk was armor???

-Got past Undyne thanks to my friend and THE GAME CAN’T KNOW I CHEATED BY GETTING MY FRIEND TO PLAY FOR ME HA TAKE THAT YOU STUPID GAME

-Instead of getting to progress with the story, went back to do some arcane trick that got me Dog Residue (WTF even is that?????) and then did grinding for 1000G to send Temmie of all people to college??? and THEN RIGHT WHEN I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL OVER had to do grinding for 750 more G to get armor that would help me (I now realize my friend may have suggested that because I suck so much) and then she wants to go to grad school??? How is she this smart????? wtf is even going on??

-My friend looked it up and said that it started at 9999G and if I had a price of 750G I’d died 25 times at least (i suck at video games i hate this game well i like it but i also hate it)

-Not sure who Alphys had a crush on but I remembered fandom stuff and I guessed right! Thanks fandom!!!

-Got mad at my friends a lot when I lost (although Jerrell deserved it for telling me that when the game crashed the game was over; I’d been too spoiled for that)

-Failed twice more to have enough stuff for boss fights despite trying to

-spent from Friday night through Saturday playing almost nonstop and trying to chat with my friends while doing so because I’ve waited so long to progress!!

-YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS WHOLE FREAKY HORROR MOVIE SPIDER THING IF I’D ONLY BOUGHT THE STUPID 5G SPIDER CIDER??!!??

-...but I got through. I held on, and I persisted, and I got through.

-And that Temmie Armor is making things a lot easier.

-Still died left and right even with Temmie Armor...

-Including to something called freaking Tsunderplane.

-Wrote “fuck” a lot, Toby Fox, tried to write the Oath of Feanor for Mettaton’s essay

-I knew about Toriel and I think I knew about Asriel and Chara (can’t remember now, even though it’s only been 6 days since I finished the game it feels like a lifetime) but oh that New Home sequence!

-After all that suffering and the two months waiting for someone to peacefully get me past Undyne... it was a crown of honor to be judged by Sans. All of this- it has finally started to pay off. Bless you, Sans. (I am morally superior, look at me. *struts*)

-Felt for all the world when I was collecting as much stuff as possible to face Asgore like I was Harry Potter walking to my self-sacrifice in the Forbidden Forest.

-Called out for Asher, or Jerrell, or any of my friends, to sit with me in my emotion like no one ever sat with me in a time like this, called out like a lost child, confused and a little quietly... but nobody came.

-threw away things that I later realized were armor out of stupidity, threw away the worn dagger because somehow I forgot I had to fight Asgore... got empty gun instead eventually (but according to my save file I beat Asgore and Flowey by punching them with a glove. Sigh.)

-Asher, who showed up eventually, told me that I had to fight... but in contrast to Undyne with her yellow arrows and annoying music that I had to mute for my sanity, whom I would have loved to kick the butt of out of annoyance and frustration, I didn’t want to fight Asgore. Not in the slightest.

-Slammed that Mercy button and stroked Asgore’s face with a finger

-KILLED MY DAD IT’S ALL MY FAAAAAAULT

-OMG OMG MY GAME CRASHED THIS IS SO COOL

-UGH EW WHAT IS THAT

-But... to my surprise, I am not grossed out by Photoshop Flowey.

-Ran away right before my Greek house’s corporation meeting to fight an evil flower, huddled in the next room not talking to anybody

-Does Flowey not want me to keep playing and want me to go outside and do something better?

-No apparently I have to fight, oh right, it’s me being a naive cinnamon roll like at the very beginning of all this

-Went back in room, continued game during meeting with sound off

-Had to break when I got nominated for a position (didn’t get it)

-And cocooned safely in my armor, I played without fear- and when I did die, it wasn’t so horrible- kept going at it, and eventually received gifts from the souls.

-Had to break to get dinner, thankfully Flowey was still waiting for my response even though my laptop had gone to sleep for lack of power

-Slammed that Mercy button and stroked Flowey’s face with a finger (yes, always, I wish I could always do this, I wish everyone could be saved, in the real world too, o please)

-I’m back at the beginning, I think... maybe, if New Home is symmetrical to home... and I step through the door and... WAIT, THAT’S IT? WHERE AM I? HOW COULD I LEAVE? AND WHAT IS IT WITH THESE GAMES AND NOT LETTING US HAVE COMMUNICATION AND REUNIONS AND COHERENCE EVEN WHEN IT’S LOGICAL TO DO SO??

-But Asher said to trust the game, and- now, after I’m cradled in the fruit of my own kindness, after kindness has paid off as surely as Ned Stark defeated Littlefinger, and imbued with a calm confidence... I will.

-Was going to wait to play the second ending but wound up finishing the game later that night, with a member of the class of ‘82 or ‘83 who had never heard of Undertale before watching over my shoulder

-What Alphys was saying about souls... DO ALL THE PROBLEMS (Flowey) COME FROM SEXISM AND EXPECTATIONS OF WOMEN THAT CAUSE THEM TO HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM?

-Wait, why are they calling me Jess? I thought Jess was me as the player... later I found out that Jess was the first human, the one who is behind the Genocide route, and, in essence, the soul of the standard videogamer who grinds for EXP. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, TOBY FOX YOU DICKHEAD! THIS IS NOT FAIR, I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS STEREOTYPING!

-Begged the ‘83 to hold my hand as I went to the end, and I awkwardly held it and he didn’t stop me

-IT’S TORIEL OH MY GOD IT’S TORIEL AGAIN JUST LIKE THE BEGINNING... AND LOOK! Everyone is here supporting me because of my unwavering Mercy and kindness! ( All of this- all the stupid dates and everything else I didn’t want to do because I wanted to get on with the story all paid off?) I love people talking like this, I am tear streaked and radiant, triumphant...

-Wait GOD DAMMIT ASGORE TAKE CHARA’S SOUL AND HANG OUT AROUND AN ICU OR SOMETHING TORIEL WAS RIGHT

-...aaaand what was I expecting from Undertale but Flowey ruining everything? It’s just like Game of Thrones or any story, really; you never get to keep your happy ending.

-Begged the ‘83 to hold my hand and he did

-But... cradled safe inside ages’ worth of grinding just to be kind, inside the fruit of my own kindness, with the assurance that I can get hit and not hurt so much or have nothing happen even, which makes it so that I don’t have anything to fear, and knowing that I only need to hold out and keep trying until the game delivers me its happy ending, knowing that I can, after all, trust the game- it makes me feel that even if I do die starting over wouldn’t be so bad, and that I am free to explore, free from my fear and dread for the first time in my life. I suppose that I am... filled with determination.

-Of course, I win, and I am crying, and so is Eric my ‘83 friend, and my kindness causes the villain to save the day, and oh! I get to hug Asriel, and yes oh yes I will take care of Mom and Dad for them, and everyone is talking and everything is beautiful, and I didn’t go all the way back to Asriel because I didn’t think I could but I walked through the land, yet AGAIN, talking to everyone, and then I went back, and I heard that Flowey would tell you to let Frisk be if I tried to play again, so yes, I am ready for my adventure to be over- I’m so disappointed that I’m not the one going to live with Toriel (we have a guestroom that they all could fit in while they get on their feet...), but I’ve had my fun and it’s time to let them go and be happy. I am sobbing and laughing for joy, and I beg Eric’s hand, and he gives it to me... and I step through the door.

-I’m sure many of you have seen how I have depression and lots of empathy so I feel bad things so strongly, how I was ruined over Theon Greyjoy, how I wish I could always be nice to everyone, and things would be okay for everyone- and o! This, this is my ultimate triumph, and it isn’t real none of it but this might be the greatest triumph I ever have, the greatest crown of honor I ever wear...

-except... fewer of you know that I am a Christian, albeit I put absolutely everything else before God, and playing this game has made me understand the idea of endurance, and perseverance, and acting as God wants you to, and faith in His providence, and I wonder if when I get to heaven it will feel like this.

-I LOVE THIS GAME.

-It is Sunday, October 8, 2017, at 12:57 (12:59?) am and I am tear-streaked and radiant. For once, I’ve gotten a perfectly happy ending, and yes, I do live with this glorious sunrise every single day, so: I say yes yes yes I will stay with you, and walk off holding Toriel’s hand just as I used to, and watch the credits for a long time, laughing with everyone’s happy ending, and at the end of it all (such sweet details are my favorite thing in the whole world), I get a second slice of butterscotch-cinnamon pie, the Annoying Dog shows up, I close the game embrace Eric who just met me but now knows me better than most, he leaves... and then I, just as the game wanted me to do all along with “you live with this?” and, in unexplored routes, “you murderer playing the game again and again”, open the door and poke my head outside, relishing the night sky and the crisp-cool air, and I praise God for everything that the real world is. I live here, and I can trust in that no matter what I have to do, if I just keep trying I can do it, and I’ll always, eventually, be taken care of, and I am absolutely, wholly filled with determination.

(I open the game again. Flowey speaks to me. I close the game. All is well.)

[kitemist]

switched at birth season 5 episode 7 / Episode 100 thoughts with spoilers

live reactions included.

Overall, worth watching. Sweet.

Before I start, I’ve seen enough previews already. What is with this girl? What are her intentions? And something lied in the process so that Angelo is permanently dead, because something supernatural cannot happen in this show, besides the flawless lipreading. Why did the switchsters and regina ever get their hopes up. Regina didn’t want any part of it.

And now with this preview, this girl never mentioned Angelo’s name. Daphne jumped to this conclusion, and this girl knew, “looked you up a while ago.” But what is there to gain from this? Daphne’s medical career has been endangered more than once. She almost got arrested. She almost became an addict, and she almost had two of her closest friends die.

Angelo is here without a question, Bay doesn’t question it but Daphne does. Even though Daphne talked to this girl first.

And now Regina doesn’t question it! This is a daydream isn’t it. And this is what definitely what Angelo would have done if that accident never happened. He would have continued his restaurant and cooking career, bonding with Daphne over it just like the night before Regina almost shot her own daughter.

We are all Daphne now. Confused as FUCK. Carlton Kennish is still a thing and Angelo is seemingly real to Daphne and Regina. No amount of previews can make up for our confusion. Of course Gilles would be here, he announced it himself in multiple previews and on instagram, much like every other actor/actress did in their own clips. But...Angelo...what the FUCK.

So Daphne just assimilates into this mental consensus that Angelo is real, because...no choice.

Officially, the entire Kennish and Vasquez family accept that Angelo is real and seamless, all conversing with him.

Angelo’s cute italian. ;v;

“I just wish you were here.”

Fuckin CALLED IT.

Why must Daphne be the traumatized one in bed? She is already gone through this before. “This is all your fault.”

And you two are gonna have sex huh. The coat worries me after Mom did that trick.

Yeahp.

How is Bay supposed to read that sign without a mirror on the ceiling.

Is this your first time having sex after you got raped? After talking with tank himself?

“Better than Emmett?” HOW FUCKING INSECURE ABOUT YOURSELF ARE YOU, TRAVIS?

“How could you ask me that?!” Yeah, fucking hell.

Also, what even led you to having sex in the first place? Were you just super horny, Bay? Like everyone who gets into a relationship is?

“Let me run it by the wife.” THE wife. pfffffff.

“To thank us?” For....what???

“God, this is strange, isn’t it?” You just made this more awkward. I already don’t like you.

“Feels kinda like a blind date.” And in this situation, we’re both dating our dad.

Okay, so they were the ones who did the donation. But did Angelo ever consent to be an organ donor? It’s the law! Or have you two broken it enough already to not care. Or was it a ruling by the majority of the remaining family? Or was it just...fuck it.

34 people? Blood saves 3 per pint. 10 pints per average person is 30 people. But that can’t be perfectly 10. 30 for blood and 4 for organs. Blood is technically an organ, but even with this, if some were more split toward blood and more than 4 organs, I still do not believe this number, but that’s just me.

Okay, she mentioned his FULL NAME. But she never directly mentioned that she got angelo’s heart. She only confirmed that she got a heart form a man who died in a car accident the same day that angelo died in a car accident.

Why am I not believing her to be Angelo’s heart’s receiver? Not only because of spoilers, but because nothing THAT GOOD can ever happen to anyone on this show. And besides the supernatural lipreading, nothing super cool or supernatural can ever happen in this show, which is supposed to be based on reality and how the deaf and hearing people interact in an audio centric world, with a side show for a race issue and for some questioning of sexuality.

I wonder if she is just telling a story of her dead parent to have bay and daphne bond with her. Her face isn’t helping. Or I just can’t read it.

“Never take anything for granted.” I still don’t believe you.

You JUST got a new heart and you already pushing it to its limits with all these crazy activities sounds horrifying to me. There’s the syncing of a new pacemaker. Or is she just not mentioning the physical therapy and getting used to things because it’s boring to hear.

New...cravings, for everything Angelo used to like. Memories are all stored in the brain. Which died permanently.

A tattoo over your chest scar. Sure your ribcage will protect you. But it’s still sensitive skin. Or artificial skin which isn’t as tough. But...really?

Daphne raises her brow because this girl already knows Regina. Or just knows the name. She did “look her up” but how much?

Daphne is as unsure as I am. But we’re thinking about different things.

“Of turning him into a christian.” Baptism does not turn you into a christian. It just makes you, in a way, live according to not your will. They just do this to babies so that they can live “the right way”. Being assimilated into a religion is of the individual’s own volition. Which Carlton doesn’t have yet!

Lily is jewish. And then there’s this christian talk. And then toby said because of the mixed wedding we can just throw it out the window? “Carlton can be both.” What.

I understand Lily. Baptism is really much deeper than appearances. Toby wants to please his mom more than his wife. And why is Toby on board with this? Nicole being religious overseas is what caused his first marriage to fall apart. And the weird question of only coming to God for something you need when Angelo died.

“I just didn’t want to impose my religion on you.” Why can’t you do the same, Toby?

Good thing you realized this.

Cellular memory. If memory is in the DNA (which i doubt, since it only contains stuff AT BIRTH, not later) and that has spread to this girl, that would make them believe in it. “Science is amazing” after all.

Cells containing a full set of genetic material is basic bio and cell construction. It’s in the nucleolus. As string, not chromosomes joined at the centromere. Why does cellular memory theory contain a fact all biologists know?

Inheriting DNA. After the commotion of whether the body would reject it or not, it would fit like a puzzle. But wouldn’t all those cells be dead, besides the ones that are holding up the structure of the organ? It makes sense to have those structure cells contain Angelo info, but the cell is specialized to just hold up the heart’s structure. If anything, this girl’s info would sort of hide Angelo info much like a dominant over a recessive gene, not slowly turn her into Angelo, which is what everyone is starting to believe right now!

Regina is so over this conversation. She wants to get way past him and Daphne wants to dive into the past again after that commotion with Iris and the BSU because...reasons and this girl coming up to her and just leading her into making a huge inductive leap. Regina is already over Angelo...wasn’t this made clear earlier when she wanted to adopt this Skylanders fanatic?

And Regina has completely solid reasoning.

“But those people have a piece of him inside of them.” Sigh. Doesn’t mean they ARE him. Why not track down EVERYONE who received a smidge of Angelo, try to combine them all together much like a human transmutation! This isn’t Inuyasha and Angelo is not the jewel!

Bay’s text message suddenly has incoming messages on the right, while her previous text conversation with Emmett was on the left.

“Forgive me yet?” why not just send a dick pic and ask her if she misses it.

Okay, she’s cute. But I don’t trust her with this.

“You wanna see?” Just turn this into a porno.

“You wanna feel it?” If you’re this frank why not make out with her on the spot? Worked for Travis.

And this does not contain a heartbeat sfx.

“That’s your dad’s heart.” Okay, you admitted it. But I’m sure this isn’t true one way or another.

Also, the heart is not directly dead center.

Also, you wouldn’t be able to feel it. You would have to use your whole palm and press gently. Not just a few fingers.

Now Bay brings up the question of fragile skin. NOW she does?!

After Bay tattoos a gang sign and does a coverup on the spot for free, she offers a job on a tattoo that may need repeating for free. How are you ever going to get that $300 to stay here?

“My car.” She is just...too casual about all this. What if you were making it up as she went along? She wasn’t making eye contact whenever she exposed some of her story.

“I know all the good parts to park so I don’t get busted or bothered.” Okay. you claim to not have cash. but this is your 3rd different outfit. Do you keep a closet in your car, and is all your money going toward tuition and gas? And this is a gangster neighborhood. Where is safe??

“You could stay with me and daphne!” Where do you have room?? Daphne and bay live together so only Regina is in the guest house and doesn’t want to meet her, which bay doesn’t know about. And not to mention toby, lily, and carlton. You are overloaded.

The way bay is talking leads me into thinking she is more bisexual than I thought, after Zarya.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARLEE <3

Please get along just for today.

Okay thanks Travis.

Instantly bonding and the random conversation we hear is about...a guy. Ugh.

You went to prom with a high school kid over a van. really.

And it worked..

Traveling again right after you were just about settled after that China trip and timeskip.

To meet his family...really...

And knowing someone who just happens to know cheap flights. Too convenient.

So she’s staying at Daphne and bay’s place. And Daphne is not happy.

Yeah, you should have asked her first. It’s Daphne’s place too.

“She has angelo’s heart. That practically makes her family.” Why not be-family the rest of those 34 people then?

Okay, good job telling her what you were slamming your hands about. But Regina said she didn’t want to meet any of them altogether.

Daphne’s face.

Baptism is not foreign to lily, you ass. She knows what it is, she just doesn’t want it! And of course, as Mom said, “men always think they have a good reason to lie.”

you’re only liking baptism as an obligation because of tradition. not because of your beliefs. which is what lily didn’t like as someone who was jewish. come on.

I don’t trust this show’s representation of religion as much as I don’t trust its representation of deaf people.

WOW, YOU MET HER ALREADY

Daphne said it, she didn’t.

She wanted to see Daphne but then ran into Regina and stuck with her instead? Since you share names with the robot from the 100 I don’t trust you.

And why are you running away from Daphne, Regina? Daphne did nothing wrong. Just tell you.

“I just hope from now on she respects our wishes” she already violated all of them by meeting you. what other wishes?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. <3 THANK YOU, EMMETT.

This tension is weird. And the first thing you bring up is who you two can’t be friends over: Bay. I take that back, Emmett, I still don’t like you.

What is YOUR problem, Travis, bringing up Emmett post “best sex ever”? You two need to shut up.

Sigh. Of course you can’t shut up for her birthday.

And yes, Emmett is right about Travis being a control freak. He was making SURE he was better than Emmett in Bay’s mind. And Travis was right about Bay making that decision on her own, because she KNEW that Travis would blow up around anything Emmett.

Really? In front of Marlee, you say that Travis stole her? What??

Um, yeah, you had an idea “I can’t believe we flew back home just for a misunderstanding.” travis.

But just give Marlee a break, please...

Even if Emmett is in that bad of a place, that just proves it. He DID do that tattoo thing to get back with her.

“For all we know she doesn’t even HAVE Angelo’s heart.” I am on board with this.

Reasonable to read about you, since Mom’s book is a bestseller, just like her erotic baseball novel.

Bay. Come on. And Daphne is being like Mom right now, back when the switch was realized. Regina and Daphne were complete strangers and now they’re living together.

“Because when I’m around her, I feel connected to Angelo.” Sigh. You haven’t even talked about anything that is of angelo! We walked in on you talking about some van for prom deal!

“Why don’t you?” Because...Daphne hasn’t spent that much time with her, that’s why. And we do not know enough about her.

Daphne has a good reason to believe that maybe she could be a fake, but why would she want to play them?

Regina, in this deep stage of everyone’s lives right now, isn’t this reassuring? The thought of your loved ones (angelo) watching over you?

“I think when we’re done, we’re done.” Tell that to Bemmett.

Good convo after that racist outfit thing, Regina. You’re good to talk to about these things respectively.

Daphne’s logical to make sure about this, but breaching confidentiality. After vandalism.

Okay, she is...or is she?

“You might want to do some digging into her background.” Don’t. We. All.

In my opinion, we are all in sinful bodies anyway, since it is made from the naturally anti-god earth. Nothing can erase us completely except for god’s righteousness. Which doesn’t come from baptism. But I’m not going to put it out there if any tumblr people want to chat with me about ideology.

And we are already under god’s mercy for being allowed to exist. John 3:16. Sure we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of god (romans 3:23) but we are redeemed now.

Okay, just because you have a more “official” person doing it doesn’t make her feel any better. You have to have one of those “baptism sessions” to get her to understand it. Not necessarily convert her, but I think a more indepth discussion than with someone unsure about religion and a reverend would be better to explain this.

So Lily said she is raising him jewish, but toby wants to follow mom, even though toby said that he and lily said carlton will be anything he wants and not to raise him as anything, so....what. And why am I caring about this again?

Now she is asking about the accident. And this would only give her more cover as “standing in” for angelo because of knowing this pivotal moment. She is definitely covering herself. I don’t trust her one bit, at all.

HA! FUCKING KNEW YOU WERE LYING ABOUT SOMETHING!

HAHAHAHAHA KEEP EXPOSING HER DAPHNE! KEEP GOING!

“you don’t know anything about me!” she knows enough for you to confirm out of your dirty mouth everything daphne just said. shut up.

“Did you lie about everything?” I’m expecting a yes.

“What do you want me to say.” Yeah. Fucking knew it.

And this is Bay’s fault for making that mental connection. She just drove her into making that same inductive leap. Daphne just leapt over back again with that digging.

And bay, since this is a lie, that 3rd time never happened.

“I said what you wanted to hear.” Yeah. That’s enough for me.

I know 0 shit about jewish stuff so I’m gonna shut up about that. But settle on Carlton’s identity already!

And now you bring down syndrome up again. I thought you didn’t care about that, that you’ll be okay with him no matter what!

Daphne’s different from Toby in “lots of other ways” and you connected with her just. fine. Ex. wilke. sorta.

A vision of Angelo again.

“Everyone deserves a second chance.” Vision-Angelo, both of bay’s datemates screwed up all their chances.

“I’m grateful I got one with you.” </3

Hey, Ripley. Good to see you.

Emmett. Why can’t you talk with daphne then? You’re talking as if she doesn’t exist.

You at that spot doesn’t make you any more deserving.

Bay can’t handle to go to that spot and now she’s there.

Uh, yeah, you were lying about SOME PARTS. That still doesn’t excuse it.

You know I am actually preferring a lesbian kiss right now. This conversation is awkward.

Thank you for finally loosening up, Travis.

And Emmett is taking pictures of another tattoo application. Hopefully they’re better because he’s actually there focusing and stuff.

“She has angelo’s DNA” “That doesn’t mean anything.” FINALLY

“Then let her family celebrate.” Regina is so against this. From the start. Stop. Trying. To. Convert.

“What if I see her and I don’t feel anything?” Well you didn’t feel anything the first time, so...

“Mom. This is my family now.” And this is the current age, where religion is not that huge anymore. Don’t try to start another Luther vs Calvin.

Cultural awareness is good.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Coincidence, but ;v;

And they see him at the same time. Nice effect.

“I feel him. I feel his heart.” How can you tell, but ;w;

Okay, now that you have cleared yourself, I trust you now. For now.

Nice mystery around this girl Alie. Not as pleasing as the seal of approval one, but this was beautiful.