#past me was onto something
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the dream team <3
#rvb#red vs blue#frank dufresne#agent washington#the meta#agent maine#doc#washington#maine#video#mine#doc and wash are an undefeated combo. forget abt donut and doc or wash and tucker#this video has been in my drafts for so long i'm forced to use the old post editor that doesnt even have dark mode. lol#i rly need to release my drafts into the wild more often. i have locus gifsets from 2015 in here#they look.. kinda bad tho so I'm not letting them out. might redo them tho bc one is Locus w/ Thane's assassin quote and umm...#past me was onto something#maine is so cute... dreamy sigh <3
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ah yes. partitio’s chapter 3. where he *checks notes* gets a sugar daddy.
#this draft was from april but y’know what I’m posting it now#past me was onto something#octopath traveler 2#octopath traveler ii#partitio yellowil
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I really feel like the reason why Cosmo refused to say her name to anyone other than Sonic was because she remembered the "deal" she made with the Metarex in this point in time before later repressing it, or just had an instinct about it
#My post#Sonic the Hedgehog#Cosmo the Seedrian#PLEASE I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS AND LOST IT#PAST ME WAS ONTO SOMETHING#I can't tell if that was the actual intention of this moment or not; but it'd make the most sense#Just look at the horror on her face before saying her name; that's gotta mean something#Because this would've been right afterwards but it probably didn't take too long for Cosmo to repress that memory#I dunno I'm just rambling in the tags at this point
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thinking about a falling kingdoms high school au where magnus is a rich, goth, art student that falls madly in love with the passionate and hot tempered captain of the debate team aka cleo
#found this buried deep in my drafts#past me was onto something#falling kingdoms#magnus damora#cleiona bellos#magneo#*mine#tp
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it’s so funny now how my bio is “dear mother, this is just survival” when i’m dealing with losing my housing and all of this as a direct result of my mom
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#vampire hunter d#vhd#art#illustration#I think I like best how it's a recall of klimt's figures but in contrast D is alone - an emphasis of his solitude#The gold surrounding him a symbol of his status and how above it all he his - looking past us to something we can't even imagine#Don't forget to check out the VHD Zine ! P-O opened yesterday ( can't believe Saiko of all people is in it omg )#also yeah ~ I'll be making prints of it~#I have to get things into order but do keep an eye out if you're interested!#I think it'd be cool to look into gold foil too ooh ꒰´͈ 0 ॣ`͈⌗꒱💖#Hmm ~ but yes the motif I had going into this drawing was the “horseman of death”#makes me think about the brothers and which ones they would symbolize of the the remaining horsemen....#anyways have a wonderful day ! (❀ •̀ᴗ•́ )っ♡#and now onto the next D drawing🌚
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Possessive Touch - Sebastian Sallow x Female!Reader
Summary: Sebastian has never been the sharing sort. He was happy to loan people notes or quills, maybe even the occasional book from the Restricted Section. But not you. Never you.
Alternatively summarized as Sebastian acting incredibly possessive after watching you hug someone else and then staking his claim on you the only way he can.
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: 18+, aged up characters, explicit sexual content, possessive behavior, rough sex, yandere!Sebastian
Locked away in my drafts for months and unearthed by this ask I received. Everyone say thank you anon
Full fic can also be found here on Ao3 (with better tags as usual)
There were a number of words you could use to describe Sebastian Sallow. He was smart, loyal, and daring, to name a few. As brave as any Gryffindor and as insightful as any Ravenclaw, he had many positive attributes that you found to be remarkable. But every coin had two sides, and as much as you admired his more positive attributes, he could also be equally callous, brash, and vindictive when circumstances called for it. His moods fluctuated frequently and gave you whiplash half the time, because more often than not– despite it being accidental– you had a tendency to be the root cause of his emotional turbulence.
You hadn’t meant for your conversation with Ominis to last for so long, much less for it to cut into your allotted study time with your boyfriend. The Gaunt scion had, in a moment of weakness, confided in you about the burdens of his personal life with a kind of desolate demeanor that tugged at your heartstrings and made you genuinely feel bad for him. You had lent him your ear for nearly an hour, and eventually your shoulder as he came to rest his head against it to embrace you in thanks. It was simply you comforting a friend; offering him a brief moment of reprieve from the dreary thoughts that had plagued him for Merlin knew how long before the two of you had gone your separate ways. Nothing more, nothing less.
It had apparently looked like something more to Sebastian, though. He had been watching from the end of the Dark Arts Tower corridor with narrowed eyes, jealousy burning in his veins as he took in the sight of his girlfriend holding his former best friend in a manner he deemed reserved for him and him alone. You didn’t know how much of the exchange he had actually witnessed, but all that mattered was that he had seen the two of you hugging. Wracked with a silent yet palpable fury, Sebastian had dragged you down the steps of the Undercroft before tossing you into the room without a second thought, your protests and justifications falling on deaf ears.
A new word came to mind to describe Sebastian shortly thereafter. One that scared you as much as it excited you.
Possessive.
His fingers had branded you as he’d stripped you bare, pressing and pulling incessantly against your clothes until you were clad in nothing but your undergarments and left shivering under the intensity of his stare. He had stretched you out along the cool stone floor, his hands holding you down without a measure of care while he touched whatever parts of you he could reach. Your breasts were tender and sore by now– no doubt covered with tiny fingertip sized bruises from the sheer strength of his groping. His breathing was heavy and tinged with the occasional grunt when he shifted his hips over yours, the telling bulge in his trousers more than likely causing him discomfort, but he paid it no mind as he took his time focusing on you. An unmistakable wetness had gathered between your legs despite the depravity, and as much as you wanted to clench your knees together to ease the rampant ache there, Sebastian’s own leg between yours prevented you from doing so.
He was toying with you, that much was certain, and he was enjoying every blasted second of it.
In response to your absentminded squirming, Sebastian moved so his knee was nestled directly against your core, the sudden pressure causing you to gasp and arch beneath him. He took advantage of your closer proximity and looped his arm under your back, holding you flush to him with a desperate sort of yearning that made you dizzy, and the way he inhaled your scent before groaning was almost primal.
A choked moan slipped from your lips as Sebastian ducked his head into the crook of your neck to bite and suck fervently, the pain laced pleasure blinding you to his true motives, but not for long. There was no doubt in your hazy mind that he was behaving so brutishly in some attempt to remind you of who you belonged to. Leaving visible marks would only further his intentions, and you found yourself whimpering as you trembled against the floor.
After he bestowed a particularly playful nip against your marked flesh, Sebastian sat back on his haunches to admire his handiwork, taking in the sight of you dazed beneath him. You made quite the pretty picture; skin flushed, hair mussed, and an eclectic assortment of finger shaped lesions decorating your neck, breasts, and thighs. The knowledge that they had been put there by him only appealed to him more, and Sebastian hummed appreciatively at the sight.
You, on the other hand, were coiled tighter than a spring. The Slytherin man had been edging you like this for what seemed like an eternity, but it realistically could only have been half an hour or so. Time was something of an illusion at present, and all you could truly focus on was your ardent need for release. The fiery sensation that stayed stubbornly aflame in your lower stomach was beginning to drive you mad, and you gazed longingly up at Sebastian, who in turn bit his lip at your watery stare.
“Please, Sebastian,” you implored him, voice catching. His hands trailed down your chest and over your pert nipples before eventually settling on either side of your waist. Then with a grip tighter than Devil’s Snare, he tugged you harder against his knee with a wicked smile, forcing a low groan from your throat in response to the friction that he seemed to revel in. “Please.”
“I don’t know what you’re begging for,” he admonished in a low voice. “You’re going to have to be more specific, darling.”
Fuck, he was still upset. That much was obvious to you. It was evident in his tone, in the way his fingers dug sharply into the skin of your lower back– but mostly it was his eyes. The usual spark that danced behind his irises when he was with you was dull, and his gaze was anything but soft. It was hard and unyielding, cold and unfeeling. You were going to have to talk your way out of this one.
Licking your chapped lips, you did your best to still your writhing as you grit through your teeth, “I need you. I can’t take any more of this, please Sebastian.”
Both of his hands left your waist then. One of them braced flat against the floor to support himself while the other curled under your neck, pulling your head off of the ground to press your forehead against his own. The unrelenting pressure against your cunt didn’t lessen as he hunched over you and forced you to stare directly into those dark, greedy eyes of his, and you whimpered pitifully beneath him as he took in the delicious expression you bore. “Is it really me you need, or would any man do, hm? Should I fetch Ominis? Let the two of you continue where you left off earlier? Or maybe you’d prefer Garreth instead– your standards seem to be all over the place, so I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“N-No–” you stammered around the word when his fist clenched painfully in the hair at the nape of your neck. “Just you– only you– I swear, we were only talking earlier–”
“That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing…” he muttered darkly, releasing your head and letting it thunk back against the floor softly. His hand was akin to molten fire as it trailed along your clavicle before he moved his thumb to lightly brush across your bottom lip. You barely had time to take note of the movement before he dove forward to capture your lips in a heady, domineering kiss that stole your breath from you completely, and all you could do was mewl softly when you felt his tongue sweep along the inside of your mouth. Sebastian groaned into the kiss, cupping the side of your jaw with his hand as he shifted his knee away from your core to give him the space he needed to drop his hips and grind his solid manhood against your thigh. He broke away for a split second to breathe out, “Say it again.”
It was hard to get a word out with how ferociously Sebastian was kissing you, but eventually his mouth trailed wetly to the side of your face to suck another mark into the skin below your ear, and you managed to gasp out, “Just you, Sebastian. There’s only you, I love you.”
The sound of his nails scraping against the stone floor beside your head drew your attention, but before you could roll your head to look, he was sitting up once more with a new sort of emotion glinting in his eyes. Those brown orbs of his were no longer flat or cold and instead appeared to be scalding with blatant lasciviousness, his want for you as potent as Firewhiskey.
Through hooded eyes you watched as Sebastian reached for his belt, the sound of metal and leather coming undone filling you with a kind of urgency that left you biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Finally he would give you what you wanted– what you’d been craving from the moment he stripped you bare and pinned you to the floor. The version of your boyfriend above you hurriedly shoving his pants down his hips was unfamiliar to you; he seemed wholly animalistic, driven forth by some inherent, primitive need to claim you all for himself, and as much as you loathed his inability to rein in his jealousy at times, an equally intrinsic part of you craved his possessiveness.
You were his, and he was yours.
Freed from the confines of his trousers, Sebastian knocked your legs to the side so he had more room to situate himself between them. He slid his knees under your bent legs, caging the limbs under his arms as he ran his calloused palms down the tops of your thighs and the head of his cock slid through the overwhelming wetness that had gathered at your center. The rampant ache in your stomach roared back to life tenfold at the mere feeling of his thick shaft, and you twitched in anticipation while Sebastian fixed his lustful gaze on you.
“That’s right,” he started to slide into your wet heat as he spoke, your mouth falling open around an airy groan at the sensation of being filled. “You’re mine. Everything you have to offer is for me and me alone, don’t you ever forget it.”
Sebastian was stretching you out torturously slow, stuffing every inch of himself into you with a measure of control that went against his earlier behavior. He was utterly transfixed as he watched your chest rise and fall with panted breaths, and when he finally bottomed out with his hips flush to the backs of your thighs, a wanton groan ripped from your throat as your head fell to the side. Your hand shot up to push back against his lower stomach– silently trying to convey that you needed a moment to adjust– but Sebastian merely pulled his hips back and plunged back in, drawing a keen whimper from you that lit a fire in his blood.
Overwhelmed tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to breathe through the sheer size of him breaching you, and you threw your arm over your face to hide the sudden flush you felt heating your cheeks. “S-Sebastian, I can’t– ah–”
His hands slid down your thighs to grip at your waist once again, pulling you impossibly closer to grind against your ass before he began pumping into you steadily. It stole your breath– all of it; the angle, his bruising hold on you, his pulsing cock brushing against the deepest parts of you. It was exquisite agony, and a quivering moan tore from your lips when he leaned forward to spear downward into you, the head of his shaft hitting something that made you jolt against him.
Your arm fell away from your face in that instant, your fingers scrambling for purchase against the stone floor beneath you, to no avail. “F-Fuck, you’re too much– Sebastian!”
With your neck tipped back and your eyes squeezed shut, you felt Sebastian lean forward to brace his elbows on either side of your head before grasping your cheeks in his large hands. He lifted your skull from the ground and held your forehead to his again, prompting you to look at him as he slowed his pace. He continued to drive his hips into yours, but the mind numbing intensity had mercifully lessened.
“You’ll never do this with anyone else,” he said brusquely, his breath fanning across your lips. You could only moan in response, especially when he started to grind against you after each plunge of his cock. “This is all for me– every bit of you was made for me– do you understand?”
The grating moans that had been sounding from you transformed into gentler ones, Sebastian’s wave-like movements with his hips delivering tantalizing friction against your clit that had you melting beneath him. You nodded dumbly, and your boyfriend released your face to sit up so he could better watch as you fell apart under him. With one hand on your waist and the other propping him up, Sebastian held fast to you while he upped his tempo, pistoning his hips into you so fast and rough that the wet sounds coming from where you were connected were all you could hear.
More choked whimpers cascaded from your lips, sounding like an angelic symphony as far as Sebastian was concerned, and he threw his head back as he got lost in the sensation of your velvety walls clamping down on his cock. You could tell he was close based on how ragged his breathing became, and your own looming climax frayed the remaining tethers of your self-restraint. You surrendered completely to him, relishing in the overwhelming fullness of him as well as the scrape of the stone floor against your shoulder blades. Pain faded into pleasure, the cold air of the Undercroft transformed into a blazing inferno, and you swore you had never been so thoroughly fucked in your life.
When Sebastian’s gaze fell back on you, his eyes darkened and he practically snarled as he bent you clean in half. He nudged your knees over his shoulders so he could wrap his arms around you, burying his fingers in your hair and clenching the strands in his fists, and as he rammed his cock into you harder– more feral and beastly than ever– the air in your lungs was expelled with every intoxicating thrust.
All you could see, smell, hear, and feel was him. He had effectively rendered you brainless as he claimed your mind, body, and soul, and the only thing you could do was submit to him and take it.
Your clammy hands blazed a trail along his skin as you wrapped your arms around him, your nails digging into his back so hard that it had to sting– but if Sebastian’s throaty groan was anything to go by, he fucking loved it.
“Gods, it’s so deep, isn’t it?” he asked you, the words coming out in-between panted breaths. A shiver ran up your spine at the thought before you clenched around him even more, the unmistakable feeling of his cock hitting your cervix making you see stars. “I’ll come inside– fill you up so good that you’ll walk out of here with it dripping down your legs. See what everyone else has to say about that.”
You couldn’t even formulate a response. The most you managed was a witless, muffled cry of his name against his shoulder, the weight of him pressing down on you smothering any of the unintelligible noises that escaped you. His rapid, uncompromising pace drove you higher than you had ever thought possible, and your climax steadily built from a whisper to a deafening clamor.
“Ah– Sebastian, please–” you babbled, spittle hanging from your lips as you begged. “Please, please, please–”
The hands he had fisted in your hair tightened even more, prompting you to crane your neck back to ease the prickling feeling. “Please what? Come on darling, tell me what you want.”
The bestial way Sebastian fucked into you intensified in that moment, his toes digging into the stone floor to lend him the support he needed to chase his own pleasure while simultaneously amplifying yours. It was too much– it felt too good– and you had to fight tooth and nail to get the words out before his efforts left you a useless, twitching pile of limbs beneath him. “Please, let me come!”
“Swear that you’re mine,” he growled in your ear, the rough timbre to his voice making you tremble in earnest. “Tell me that no one else will ever have you like this– swear it.”
“I s-swear– I swear it– I’m yours, Sebastian. Only yours, I swear, please please please– I swear–”
Sebastian said nothing else, instead rewarding your admission with a toe-curling roll of his hips as he plunged in all the way to the hilt. He kept moving like that, the chill-inducing friction against your clit combined with his sinfully precise, cervix-kissing thrusts more than enough to drag your finish from you. Your walls fluttered around him as you lost control of your voice, your entire body quaking and jolting as an assortment of moans, cries, and and airy gasps poured from your throat.
“Fuck–” Sebastian swore roughly, both of his hands abandoning their hold on your hair to brace against the floor to better support his body as you seemingly sucked him in deeper. “Good girl, fuck– I’m close. You're going to take it all, yeah?”
There wasn’t a chance in hell you could respond– not that Sebastian was waiting for you to. With a husky groan, he pushed himself as deep into you as he could go, getting a few last thrusts in before he bottomed out and unraveled. Hot, potent strings of his seed painted your insides, causing your eyes to roll back in your head before he began rutting and grinding his hips into you to milk as much of himself as he could. You could barely hear him mumbling for you to take it all– not that it was even up for debate– and when he finally relented and stilled his movements, you were too dazed to so much as glance at him.
A warm, featherlight feeling brought you back to the present after a couple of heated moments. Sebastian’s hands brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your forehead, his eyes unapologetically roving over you as he took in the sight of your fucked-out expression. He seemed pleased with himself, a barely there smirk revealing itself as he dropped his hand to your waist to dig his fingers into the bruised skin there. You inhaled sharply, but beyond that, you didn’t so much as wince. You were far too weary for that.
“In the future,” he started to say as he rocked forward, pressing his still-hard length into you briefly before withdrawing halfway, only to repeat the motion again. “I’d rather you keep your hands to yourself when you’re with your ‘friends’. Especially where Ominis is concerned…” he trailed off, his hands skimming along all the love-bites and bruises that littered your body. “That is, unless you want more reminders as to who it is exactly you’re dating.”
One look into Sebastian’s dark, piercing eyes told you that he wasn’t bluffing at all. You already knew that he was more than willing to stake his claim on you should the need arise, and part of you even wondered if he would have the decency to do so in private next time.
Next time? Would there even be a next time? He had certainly made his point.
The pleasant ache that lingered throughout your body had you second guessing yourself, however, and you honestly wondered if it would be worth it to rile Sebastian up again in the future. As terrifying as the thought was, you couldn’t help but entertain it as you smiled up at him innocently, a flurry of unholy visions racing through your mind as you relished in the possessive way he continued to touch you.
When he began to move his hips again, you decided to label the notion as a ‘maybe’ for now. Clearly he was far from finished with you, and despite the mildly terrifying side of him you had just been made privy to, you couldn’t help but shudder in anticipation.
Maybe rousing the sleeping dragon again wouldn’t be such a terrible thing… right?
#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow smut#sebastian sallow x you#sebastian sallow x reader#sebastian sallow x female!reader#sebastian sallow oneshot#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanfic#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#hogwarts legacy oneshot#my writing#I can't even remember what prompted past me to write this depravity all those months ago but honestly. she was onto something
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More than just the Demon.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#venat#endwalker spoilers#will forever be fascinated with this man#look guys look- the literal embodiment of wol's wings of hope LOL (and me going hehe about that and footfalls)#the part of me that adores digging into the nuance of character writing (intentional or otherwise) is just latched onto zenos#and venat-- they cant just give us two characters who get really important 1v1 duels#and ask really important questions#and love the MC and are willing to risk themselves so unconditionally#and have them not live rent free in my brain#--and maybe this tiptoes into the realm of crack theory so beware there will be a lot past here--#but I cant help but think zenos is akin to an oracle or warrior of light but was tempered/corrupted by zodiark#or some strange happenstance of varis (who shares visual traits to golbez before 6.0 ever came out and the dark mana burst)#and carosa (who it seems zenos got his looks from- and he already looks like he has ties to venat and argos like minfillia does)#was he a result of the eternal chess match between the two parties' machinations? or just some strange twist of fate?#another day of him being “emet's successful experiment” (again- intentional or no) making me thonk#theres something so strange about the final days dreams and how dark aspected he is- that his void abilities are more tied to him tbh#yet his mannerisms beyond just what he's been through almost reminds me of light corruption and the uncanny calmness#we see in most beings associated with the light in any significant way and like second phase eden shiva#he almost has all the marks of someone who shouldve already had the echo or blessing of light but for one reason or another#was unable to hear hydaelyns call#of course it doesnt help i mentally associate him with connections to zero and how she was corrupted before she was even born#and durante- who states uncanny ability and connection with light and darkness and yet favors dark magic more#i simply live with the idea that zenos' soul was an eternally faithful companion to wol's and#this time the cardinal sin of separating the pair finally happened to rather dire consequences lmao
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has anyone connected this, does anyone hear me
willpower of steel, fluidity of emotions, knowledge from the past, something like that
#pokemas#lance pokemon#cynthia pokemon#steven pokemon#im not in the state to go off the rails but you see it. you understand#i honestly dont have much for steven but the other two like#cynthia's an archeologist she finds answers from the literal ghosts of the past#lance to me is someone who has to keep his emotions steeled for his image and to be a role model#so when there IS something he feels very strongly he cant express it for whatever reason. associate with gyarados' natural rage if you will#now had a thought for steven since i think you would need some sort of willpower to hold onto your values when you inherit a whole company
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What if X felt human emotions more intensely than most? (And maybe have more mental breakdowns than most aswell)
#megaman x#rockman x#ロックマンx#mmx x#mmx zero#my art#fanart#well well well if it isnt me projecting onto X again#I drew this as a doodle at 11pm a few days ago but thought I could do it better digitally#if people want to see the og doodle I can post it#Anyway Zero doesn't know how to deal with X since if anything he struggles with interpreting emotions and not feeling enough#Did I make X have autism or bpd or perhaps both? Only the orb knows for sure#or a secret third thing (ptsd)#also wanted to try something new with the manga style since I've been reading the mmx manga over the past week#i think it came out well
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finally figured out what VAL reminds me of
#🐉#it stayed because i wanted it! it made a home in me because i carved one out for it in the ruin of who i was!#because i was angry! because i wanted to prove something!#because by the time i was able to see past my anger to sorrow and shame i had already given myself over to it!#and you know what the really crazy thing is? they both intentionally hurt themselves to hold onto that power#'i hurt someone'. i hurt myself so badly that i can only count them as another victim of my own decisions.#the silt verses#tma#VAL thesiltverses
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i have a headcanon that when wylan is comfortable around people he'll constantly sing aloud, kind of as a vocal stim sort of thing. i know that man constantly has a song stuck in his head and the second he's around people he knows don't care or find him weird for it you best believe he's belting it out loud.
like just imagine
wylan: *sitting in the living room, completely out of no where* "ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME!!"
jesper finds it incredibly endearing and almost always joins in with him.
like image wylan teaches jesper how to harmonize, and so then every chance jesper gets he's joining wylan's singing and they're giving a money worthy duet performance
(i love them so much y'all)
#another day another projecting myself onto wylan hendriks#this was inspired by me having 12 days of christmas stuck in my head for the past two days#and also bc this is something i do#wylan van eck#wylan hendriks#jesper fahey#incorrect six of crows#six of crows fandom#incorrect soc#six of crows#incorrect soc quotes#incorrect six of crows quotes#wesper my beloved#wesper#i love them
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"this is awesome" said preteen me drawing my blorbo sheena fujibayashi on RateMyDrawings with a mouse in 2009
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#it’s always funny to see the people who have bullied you in the past for no reason jump onto the hate train#solely bc they wanna keep hating you#i did nothing to you cheri idk why you treat me like i did something wrong to you??#or do you just find my existence annoying?#idk#y’all keep spreading the narrative that i’m a bitchy bully that forces and coerces people into things#when that’s absolutely not what i did and would never do#and also#ivy the fact that you are openly befriending someone who was friends with masha and applewillowstone ONLY until those two were called out#about their shitty behaviour#and then did a 180 and claimed she never ‘knew’ masha was ‘like that’#just speaks volumes on what’s really happening here#and yeah consider this a vent post#since i gotta make that explicitly clear nowadays
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A few ramblings about fanfic and learning to write it
I have this voice in my head that I can't get rid off telling me lately that my fics are not good enough, a combination of the general insecurity of posting something smutty for the first time and the general lack of engagement, that unfortunately affects me, despite repeating to myself 1000x per day that numbers don't make a fic good.
So I think "What if I just stop writing this and go back to what I normally do? What if I just convince myself again that I can't do this?" But I don't want any of those things.
The thing is, if I stop trying to write smut because it's not "good enough" then I will never write because it will never be good enough if I don't ever try. So I have, I want, to keep writing, because not only I have the right to learn but I deserve it, I (and everyone) deserve to have fun while exploring what my own writing voice sounds like while writing explicit fics, or horror, or a new POV, a new genre, anything.
I started writing fic in Spanish at 13, roughly 10 years ago (yes I am indeed a gen z)and I wrote terrible quality pieces in my school notebooks. But I learnt from it. And I had so much fun it awakened something in me. I started to love fanfic and writing, I would fill notebooks with stories and always enter the world of a new piece of media through what people created from it.
I started writing in English at 15, way before I could call myself bilingual, way before I was able to read a full YA book in English without struggling or watch a full movie without subtitles, I didn't have nearly as much of a grasp on the English language as I do now, but that didn't stop me and I learnt so much from it. And I had fun, no matter if I couldn't differentiate between in/on/at (I still can't sometimes)
So, seeing as I didn't let a whole language barrier stop me, I am damn sure I'm not letting an imaginary voice in my head and an arbitrary method to measure my worth determine whether I should keep writing or not, the real measure is me enjoying and as long as I'm enjoying it then I'm going to keep doing it.
With Red, White and Royal Blue I have written more fics that I've written since the pandemic, I have met so much people I am very glad to call my friends, I've connected with incredibly talented writers who have also become my friends, beta readers, cheerleaders, people who tag me in Tumblr games, names that I see frequently on my daily "you've got Kudos!" email.
And I'm going to keep writing because I love it, because I love the people and I love the stories, and I still have a lot of stories to tell.
And if someone else feels the same way, I hope you keep writing too.
And that's the end, if you read this, I love you, I don't care who you are. And now we go back to our regular scheduled programming: gay fic.
#ramblings#fanfiction#don't perceived me much#i just needed to put it out there#in a place where probably I will see it in a few years#and go#“damn past me was onto something”#i feel like you can truly see that i have a communications degree here
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what the hell did Perrine’s parents do to them where they downright refuse to talk/sing about their past
#i know the gist of their past from what we’ve been told#they weren’t allowed to be a kid#and they had a lot of aspirations forced onto them#but idk….#that doesn’t seem like it would be enough to make them vehemently refuse to dicuss it#especially since they despise adults because of their parents#it all just makes me think something REALLY REALLY BAD happened#yaelokre#meadowlark#perrine yaelokre#perrine meadowlark
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