#party could literally mean anything / actual party / hunting party / etc.

[slotumn]

In a break from my usual 3H in-universe international relations posting, I come bearing: Engage in-universe international relations posting.

Namely, why aren't any of the other countries doing something about Brodian invasions on Elusia?

Well, for Firene and Solm, it's very simple: those two fighting keep them from being threats to their own nation.

Firene is a bountiful land, one that a more rugged country like Brodia would probably love to conquer... if they could. Judging by Celine, despite their peaceful image, Firene doesn't slack on security/military. Combine that with more productive farmlands, etc and it's possible Brodia could get their ass kicked if the war goes on longer. That's probably why Brodia picks on Elusia instead, as the comparatively easier target that still has resources they want.

Still, Firene isn't unaware of Brodia's general attitude on foreign policy, so they choose to let Brodia stay distracted with Elusia instead; why risk trying to make them stop if they might turn to you instead, you know? It helps that Firene is religious and Elusia worships the Fell Dragon, so they have an extra excuse to continue letting that happen (even if they don't outright dispatch their own troops for it).

As for Solm, I think they've seen Elusia as a threat for a while. During the Solm chapters, Timerra says they've already gathered intel on them reviving the Fell Dragon, which probably means they've been spying on/monitoring Elusia pretty extensively while gauging them as potential enemies. And if Brodia keeps that potentially-enemy neighbor in check from the opposite side of the continent for free, why refuse it? Also note that in the Fell Xenologue, where Brodia isn't attacking Elusia, Solm is the one that does, in a very "strike them before they strike us" way.

(Speaking of, you might notice that Timerra pokes at Alfred and Ivy in their A supports from a more political position/as a future ruler— like asking if Firene would invade Solm or admitting she was also trying to find out Ivy's weakness. But she doesn't do that to Diamant in their A support because Brodia doesn't border Solm.)

Now for the biggest question: why didn't Lythos, both the geographical and spiritual center of Elyos, step in? Even as Elusia worshipped the Fell Dragon?

My headcanon is that it's a combination of two reasons:

One, on principle Lythos and the Divine Dragon(s) only steps in when the threat is unmanageable by humans. The war with Sombron was one; there was no way humans could win against that by themselves, that was a war for the dragons. But in a conflict between humans, it's possible that one wrong intervention by the dragon-pope-god could actually make the situation worse; accused of being biased by certain parties, others riding on it to push their own nefarious agendas, etc, which could shake people's faith even more than if they'd just stayed quiet. At most I think they send humanitarian (dragonitarian...?) aid to the affected areas, but I don't think they'd go for military intervention.

You could argue that letting Elusia worship the Fell Dragon on state level ultimately led to the revival of Sombron, but judging by the fact Solm doesn't seem to be super religious to Divine Dragon(s) either + Pandreo wanting to pray to Veyle, it might be considered acceptable (like Lythos doesn't send orders to hunt them down or anything; albeit some people might still be prejudiced against the faith) to worship Fell Dragons if it's just a purely spiritual thing, and not, you know, literally trying to revive Sombron and also stealing the magic ghost ring nukes that help balance power between the nations.

Again, up until Elusia was puppeteered into reviving Sombron, the whole thing was 1000(+) years ago; I'd say that's enough time that figures from the war, no matter the side, could be treated and revered as more of an abstract folk deities (or formalized deities) than real historical figures. It probably helps that Sombron was "dead," so that put even more distance between humans born post-war and the actual threat that he was.

Second is: Lumera, who appears to be the last of her kind (until Alear steps up), has grown weaker due to transferring her powers to Alear. She still seems to be pretty strong because, well, she's still a dragon, but it's possible that she's not "singlehandedly stop a war" strong anymore.

Meanwhile most legends/scriptures about her are probably from when she was at full power. So, uh... it's probably a bad look if she chooses to intervene directly, only for it to just show how much she's weakened. I think Four Hounds/Fell Dragon worshippers trying to revive Sombron would probably have gone around recruiting and causing havoc earlier and on a far wider scale if they learned of this.

In other words, something like "let humans figure out their own problems, dragons will step in if it's a threat they can't handle alone" is both a good policy for the development of humanity in general + doesn't make Lythos, Lumera, and Alear look incompetent/weak and therefore give room for legitimately dangerous groups to recruit more openly.

(I also like to think Alear's solo end alludes to this, because it talks about a blue haired Emblem fighting the Corrupted; like it's easy to forget gameplay-wise because we kill them all the time, but the Corrupted are fucked up zombie puppet soldiers who are explicitly associated with Sombron/Fell Dragons, aka not things humans would regularly encounter or know how to deal with)

[duskwolf]

@murderousbitch / LEHANE, FAITH

   "Aw, are you mad that I didn’t invite you to the party?” A glint of teeth, mischievous smile a little crooked as he looked her way. “Don’t worry, maybe you can catch the next one.”

[jazba-1997]

Possibly a very unpopular opinion but Amarantha literally became the villain that villains dream of being. She went into a dinner party and came out having ruined every single persons life on an entire continent. Not just within a room or what could count as a country but an entire continent.

I think a lot of the time we forget that Amarantha didn’t overthrow the High Lords and take over Prythian because she was obsessed with Tamlin or because she wanted power. No, Amarantha overthrew the High Lords and was aiming to take control of an entire continent for revenge against the people who murdered Clythia. She did it cause in her messed up head she thought she was getting her sister justice.

I mean think about it this way. A powerful, high ranking general goes to war with her younger sister (who is also powerful enough to be named a general). Her younger sister then falls in love with the enemy. And, in a totally beautiful moment, the general supports her sister and her choices to be in love with the enemy. The general even spares the enemy, cause she loves her sister more than anything in the entire world. Only instead of a happy ending her little sister gets horribly murdered/betrayed by said ‘lover’. So, what does this high ranking general do to the people who murdered her sister? She kills them and does unspeakable things to them and others in return.

It’s also important to remember that according to the novels she was so angered by the loss of her sister she ditched the war effort (implying Hybern could have won) and became solely focused on avenging her sister. She took troops - troops loyal to her and not their King (which implies that she was actually a decent leader and there was a certain degree of trust and loyalty to her involved) and went off to hunt down the people who betrayed her sister.

Unfortunately, they loose the war and she is told to return home. Years later, after lots of scheming, the general defects from her King, steals from him an extremely powerful magical object and goes back to seek revenge.

The general then proceeds to ruin the life of every single living being on the continent where her sister died, specifically targeting those who were on the side of the war that harmed her sister. And to top it off, when the person who she had ‘feelings’ for, insulted the memory of her sister she cursed him and all the people in his kingdom. Like I’m sorry but Amarantha was a horrible person, the worst ever, but the fact that her entire villain arc is mainly a revenge story is just so compelling.

The King of Hybern who? Oh you mean the King that she stole the magical object off, the King she betrayed and practically lead a coup against (remember that a ship full of his warriors left to follow her on her quest). You mean the King that didn’t even attempt to fight against Amarantha when she began to devastate an entire continent. Amarantha was destroying everything and anything, she destroyed things that affected him majorly like trade routes etc and he still did nothing.

When the King used the excuse he was ‘testing’ Prythian and its High Lords against invasion I laughed. That was the biggest lie I’ve ever read. The King didn’t do anything cause he would have been wrecked just like everyone else. Amarantha won against every single person she fought because they underestimated her. Which I find incredibly poetic since she underestimated Feyre and that was her downfall. She was cruel, ruthless, sadistic, committed atrocities and was absolutely horrible. But she was also someone who loved deeply, was incredibly smart, powerful and calculative.

This is a woman who loved her sister more than life itself, who even after her sisters death it is implied never attempted to fully kill Jurian - thus upholding her sisters deal with him that he would live forever, instead torturing him for eternity. Don’t try to tell me she wouldn’t have killed him and figured out a way to do it if it wasn’t for the memory of Clythia.

Amarantha has a really interesting villain origin story and it gets overlooked a lot I think. Every villain is the hero of their own story and Amarantha is a twisted messed up character that truly believes that what she’s doing is justified. Add in the fact she was smart, cunning and manipulative enough to pull off a full continent power grab, she really is amazing at being a villain. This is in no way absolving her, but more an absolute appreciation to how interesting and terrible of a villain she was, because all other villains paled in comparison. The King of Hybern had nothing on her. And I will never be able to comprehend or understand why she was not the ultimate villain in the series.

[raposarealm]

ulala yume for the ask thing?

(Again, these are still open for submissions! I only got a couple, so go ahead and send someone in!)

Ok so I'm gonna preface this one by saying that I haven't actually read Ulala's MSS, I only read the summary of the first part of her event, and I barely read anything on Ashen Revolution. The reason for which being that the little I've heard about the events in Yukuni/Ulala's background has really distressed me due to some personal trauma from my own childhood. So! I'm just writing here from the bit I've seen of Ulala's character from early Arc 2 as a PB member, and the small amount I've heard otherwise. Anyways!

Why I like them

Ulala's a people pleaser, but I don't mean that in a negative way this time. She's hard-working, amiable, and quite a skilled fighter, due to her diavolo skills. She's a natural entertainer and a cheery person despite her distressing backstory. She's lauded as a prodigy with the diavolo, but she never lets that get to her head, and keeps working hard to improve even more. However, she also still has clear complex issues in the manner that every prodigy character does. Ulala's constantly focusing on her shortcomings, thinking that she's not as hardworking as her former partner Kurara because she [Kurara] was always practicing more, seeing herself as a newbie magical girl and therefore weak and unsuited to the harsh Promised Blood despite her having shown impressive skills in spite of her newbie status, etc. Hell, the first part of her 'Farewell Party' event shows us that she's got issued verbalizing and even realizing her own emotions, when she can't figure out why she's so distressed over leaving the Promised Blood that she swears she doesn't care that much about, beating herself up over Sakuya's, err, stage-right exit, only finally moving on in a way by eavesdropping on Ryoko explaining to Chika how Sakuya was a dear friend to her despite being from a rival faction, and overhearing Sakuya's track team at Kamihama University Affiliated mentioning how they were worried that Sakuya hadn't come back in a while, since she was such a core member of the team to them... Wait, this wasn't about Sakuya, crap.

Ulala sees the best in others, but the worst in herself. Despite joining in order to spy on them, she genuinely comes to care for the Promised Blood members, empathizing with them over their similar backgrounds of being hunted for who they were or which group they belonged to. She might be part of Folklore, but she still holds a cheery outlook, even if it's a desperate one. Her interview from the recent chapter 11 even mentions how she wishes that, when she gets older, she wants to talk to Kurara again, saying that maybe the two of them could finally reach an understanding. Kurara, y'know, the one whose life Ulala used her wish to save, who then turned around and bereded and cursed Ulala for becoming a magical girl to save her friend's life. Ulala still wants to be Kurara's friend, even after Kurara basically told her to eff off and die (and reminder who the leader of the Eradication Faction in Yukuni is? That's right, Kurara.) That's a whole lot of hope in someone who belongs to Folklore, the faction with no hope for the future. Maybe it's having been around the Promised Blood that did it, who knows?

On a more surface level, Ulala's concept of 'yoyo meguca' is also pretty cool. Her weapon is a giant diavolo yoyo, and could you imagine the stunts she could pull with that thing as a weapon? I'm kind of surprised she doesn't have bind as part of her kit (why does she have fog, f4? That makes no sense.)

Why I don’t

Aoki Ume you've got to stop giving literally everyone mid-drifts, it's not original. Actually, I'm not sure I'd even call Ulala's shirt a 'mid-drift', it's less of a shirt and closer to whatever nonsense Kaede has going on. Basically, poor Ulala's design could use some work.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

The scene from the first part of the 'Farewell Party' event, with her listening in on Ryoko and the school's track team talking about Sakuya, and Ulala coming to the conclusion that Sakuya wasn't lost if people still held memory of her. (It's also that conclusion that sends her back to Futatsugi one last time, due to a promise she'd made to Sakuya before the fighting escalated.)

Favorite season/movie

Same as above, I guess.

Favorite line

From her interview with Kagome in the recent chapter 11:

「そして大人になった時に、もう一度くららとちゃんと話をしたい。心がお互いに変わったら、今度は通じ合えるかもしれないんよ」

"And when I've grown up, I wanna talk with Kurara one more time. If both of our hearts have changed, maybe this time we'll come to understand each other."

She still holds hope for the person leading the group that's responsible for driving her out of her hometown and into the middle of a intercity war. Godspeed, Ulala.

Favorite outfit

Her school uniform! Her sweatshirt has lil' orange-shaped pins on it and it's the cutest thing!

OTP

I don't have one for Ulala, sorry.

Brotp

Uhhhhh Ulala with the other Promised Blood members seems to be quite comical at times, and her event implies she was buddies with Sakuya, so I guess one of them?

Head Canon

She keeps coming up with excuses as to why she's wearing a school uniform from a school outside of Futatsugi. (E.g. "My normal one got dirty!" "It got lost." "This is why you're careful who you let into your dorm!")

Unpopular opinion

I don't even know what popular opinions people have about Ulala, much less unpopular ones. At a loss here.

A wish

Let her go back to her friends in Promised Blood (if she wants to, which it sure seemed like she did.) No reason she can't be part of two factions if they get along now, right?

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Lemme just say this: Kurara, if the Eradication Faction gets out of Yukuni, watch your back.

5 words to best describe them

Cheery, Humble, GREEN, Agile, Skilled, and a bonus word: very traumatized-

My nickname for them

Froglala!

The context being that I had to distinguish Magireco's Ulala from Envy Phantom's (Harumaki Gohan album) Ulala, and the harugo discord likes to call Envy Phantom's Ulala 'Godlala' (don't ask,) so I started calling Magireco's Ulala 'Froglala' in response. People kept making jokes about Ulala and frogs, after all.

[serenheist]

What Jennie is like in a relationship/ Relationship with G-Dragon Tarot reading

I know the anon asked for just a love life reading on Jennie but I’m extra and did everything lmao

What is the true nature of Jennie’s relationship with gdragon? Gloominous doom reversed 56, ace of swords, the hanged man reversed, lady of masks, triumph of lies, the glanconer 62 reversed

Oh god lmao. I don’t know why but I get the feeling this “relationship” is just for GD to be back on good terms with the korean general public. He got flack for smoking weed before, seungri shit, abandoning his dog, dating kiko etc etc. I really feel like him dating Jennie is just so the public has a better opinion of him when he decides to have a comeback lmao. Anyway the true nature of this relationship is literally someone full of extreme self pity had an idea to do this because it will make them look better and vice versa. But now there’s a feeling of being trapped. I really think this is an orchestrated relationship that was rushed and not based on actual love but for a specific purpose. But I do think it’s legit in the sense that it’s not that they’re not dating at all. But since Yg didn’t deny anything we can tell it’s “real”. Yg always denies if it’s definitely not a real relationship and always stays vague when it’s real. It’s made to look real for the public to get them talking but the core itself isn’t real. Basically pr shit. idc even if they got married none of this is real lmao.

I pulled 2 more cards from 2 different decks for extra clarification and I got the lady of masks and triumph of lies. You can’t make this up lol. “She reshapes the physical appearance of the souls who seek her out but this change is pure vanity, changing nothing of who they are at the core” it basically reflects who you want to be. This relationship is to make both parties look better lol. I feel that this is also a double meaning geared towards Jennie only because later cards in this reading continuously mention her wearing a mask. Triumph of lies is about keeping up appearances. This relationship is about living up to the expectations that society wants from you. I feel like it’s not just what people in the company want but also could be friends and family who put pressure on making this relationship happen for both. I can really see that since GD has a past of dating mostly models and the public has always been negative about everyone he’s dated except Jennie since she has a better reputation and for her this relationship can boost her status even more dating the king of kpop and being a power couple. I pulled a last card just to ask why you would need to fake a whole relationship even though we already know at this point and it’s redundant but I wanted to see how many times I can get cards saying the same shit. The glanconer 62 reversed: basically AGAIN someone is pretending to be other than they really are. I think both of them even believe in their own lie at this point and idk there’s a level of thinking you’re better than others so it’s okay to fool them anyway. Whatever makes you look good.

Who is Jennie in this/ her shadow aspect: obsession 3, gd: today for tomorrow 32

Since the beginning cards were pretty negative I wanted to dive deeper into Jennie and GD’s shadow aspects. And just use these cards to differentiate between them. GD is today for tomorrow and for Jennie I got obsession. The biggest shadow aspect to Jennie is that she feels as if she needs something whether that be a person, an idea, an object etc to give meaning to her life. She can also become really fixated on things to the point where that is the entire focal point of her life. It numbs her attention to other things.

How does Jennie feel about gd and how does he feel about her? Solus 13, the high priestess, the hierophant, gd: the guardian at the gate 3, queen of wands reversed, the fool

Jennie: Jennie feels that GD is someone who when you don’t know who to turn to or what to do, he is the person who can help you out. He encourages you stand on your own feet and utilize your own wisdom. But he also recognizes that you can’t do everything on your own so he helps you make the right connections with the right people and basically like a mentor position. I feel like they both almost see this connection as something “divine” at least in the beginning they could’ve convinced themselves this was this big divine intervention. But the reality started to set in and Jennie saw a different side of someone who has lost touch and went from being someone to look up to to becoming more “corrupted”. He no longer practices what he preaches, there’s lies mixed in with truth and the lines between right and wrong became more blurred. He does what he can to stay in power.

GD: He feels that Jennie is a new opportunity for a huge change. She’ll help provide an opportunity for him to make a big shift in his life. But at the same time he feels like she’s guarding herself and not being authentic with him. “Wearing masks that do not fit you”. I think he’s seen her change moods often from not figuring out how to release her passion and creativity in a healthy way and become more jealous and wanting to tear down others when she’s feeling down. Cause the queen of wands would be stepping in your power not hiding behind anything and appearing exactly how you are. Reversed it can bring out bring dramatic and feeling out of control of your own life and lack of enthusiasm. I think he’s seen her lose her passion for even being in the industry itself. I think that’s he’s wanting to take a leap of faith into something new I don’t know if he would want to stay in this “relationship” but I’m seeing it more of him going off on his own and stop worrying about the fear of the unknown. Honestly both seem like a hot mess for each other there’s a lot of work they gotta do on themselves separately because this whole connection is weird and toxic.

How long does it take her to get into a relationship? Does she prefer long or short term relationships? Princess of pentacles, 3 of swords, queen of swords 5 of wands reversed, 2 of wands, temperance reversed

She’s always been observant and was careful before in the beginning of relationships but no amount of carefulness can’t prevent heartbreak. It kind of hardened her and she learned how to play the game so to speak. The fact that the queen of swords is holding a severed head tells you all you need to know what happens if you break her heart. She seems burnout with relationships but at the same time can’t stop herself from not being in one because then you’ll be alone with your demons. I think she does prefer long term relationships but Jennie seems to go from one extreme to another. She plans for the long term but she also can’t control her emotions because they’re so intense. She’ll sabotage it and rush into a relationship with someone because she’s already planning this whole future and the other person is like “uhhh we just met..?” I think she builds up a fantasy in her head and gets carried away at times. And that’s where a lot of conflict and arguments arise and the cycle continues.

Past and present relationships. past: firgun 10 magick of you oracle, 2 of pentacles, Present: Euphoria 9, 5 of cups

I hate this word but I feel like in her past relationships she felt like the person she was with was her “twin flame”. This person was her mirror basically, every little thing she was and did was mirrored back to her. It was about learning how to heal the anger and hurt and learn to be happy for others success. But the relationship itself was a constant act of balancing career and love and all the ups and downs. It seems like even in her present love life she is still lingering over past relationships and now hides her actual feelings. There’s a lot of mask imagery in this whole reading. And not seeing everything you already have but being consumed with the thoughts of what went wrong or why it isn’t this way. And no longer sharing your true self fully. Instead there’s an element of not her not taking care of herself physically. Sharing herself intimately with people who treat her like garbage, poor eating, dragging yourself through workouts, excess of toxic substances; these are examples.

What is she like in a relationship? Eternal servitor, 10 of pentacles reversed, the lady of the harvest 18 reversed, the singer of intuition 7

This imagery of a person with no face and a whole in its chest really stands out to me again. It seems that when Jennie is in a relationship she still hides her true self and is constantly on a never ending search to fill something in herself that she feels is lacking. I think she uses money, clothing, love itself as a way to distract herself from this emptiness she feels inside and each time she wants more and more. Like she has to upgrade to the next biggest thing and it traps her in an infinite loop of never being satisfied. Idk but I guess it’s her wanting the world to see her importance; if she has these things then she is now worthy and it gives her a feeling of purpose. It’s not just the pressure of herself needing the best “thing” but a loooot of pressure from family and others to find a “suitable” partner. They need to come from the right background, make this amount of money, etc so her family can show off how wonderful this partner is and how amazing Jennie is doing. Even the next card “the lady of the harvest” reversed speaks of this again. It’s crazy how almost all of the cards are just saying the same thing. It’s about staying in denial and refusing to accept a loss and cling onto pain instead. Jennie is the type of person who thinks “if I can’t have it, no one will”. When she sees something she wants and can’t get it she will go into destruction mode because she feels that it’s the only solution. She’s not a forgive and forget person. A line in this guidebook really stands out to me “if you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and kill it.” Pretty much sums up her mentality. Even if she enters a new relationship her mind is consumed by the past and the present relationship is only to save face and show off the image she tries to create to please literally everyone except herself. I think she’s very perceptive and can know someone who she’s with inside and out. She’s also very aware of the image she needs to uphold. There’s pretty much nothing you can hide from her because her intuition is so strong.

What is her "type"? the piper 24, 8 of wands reversed, Ta’Om the poet 29, Arthur

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: she likes musicians. Also the fact that this is legit the only faerie in this 66 card deck playing an instrument so what are the odds. She appreciates someone who pays attention to the subtle expressions of feelings and ideas and can see into her soul basically. It’s communication without words and that makes music that can heal your sorrows and pains. Someone that listens to not just surface level words but to the deeper meaning that can only be heard with your heart. Seductive, someone who looks serious but is actually mischievous and fun.

He encourages you to unfold your wings and fly, do the things you’re afraid to do, stop being silent and speak up, have a youthful spirit and do the thing you’ve been putting off for so long. He has a lust for life, adventure, an excellent storyteller and writing skills and a huge imagination. He has the power to inspire action with just his words. He sees things as they really are and sees beauty in all things even in the darkness and difficulty of life. He doesn’t take life so seriously though he knows how to laugh at himself and knows how silly it is to be sad over hardships in life. He doesn’t care for society’s expectations he’s a free spirit. But at the same time he slows down and knows how to enjoy the journey and not rush by the seat of his pants. He’s someone that’ll stand the test of time and be by her side through thick and thin.

What is her love language? Myk the myomancer 42, the oak men 47, 10 of wands

Idk if this really fits into any of the “official”love languages but her love language is someone seeing the small details, seeing meaning in the little things. So maybe little gifts even that don’t have to be huge but just shows that you’ve paid attention to what she likes as long as it has meaning and is well thought out. When you can’t see the finish line and it looks like it’s impossible to keep going that person is there to have your back. Also someone that sees her for who she truly is in her heart and can look past the superficial hard exterior cause I’m pretty sure it’s just a defense mechanism mixed with the environment she grew up and past relationships and she’s not actually the Antichrist contrary to how negative this reading may seem.

Probably typos but whateves

[itsclydebitches]

I have to wonder how season 2 Crosshair is gonna start with anything other than him escaping execution. Dude murdered his whole squad with one known survivor who reports it to the General, who then says 'We were gonna kill him anyway, so just let him die here'. It's not like Crosshair has any sort of bargaining chip to justify the Empire not abandoning or executing him.

It may end up being important that (I think) the surviving squad member doesn't know that Crosshair killed his team, only that they're dead. She was off looking for Omega, came back, saw her dead teammates and the clones fighting droids, and (smartly lol) got the hell out of Dodge. I think her exact words were that Crosshair "lost control of the situation," which tells the Admiral that Crosshair failed, but not that he failed because of his own betrayal. Granted, I think she's also the one who approaches the Admiral earlier, saying she doesn't trust Crosshair's motivations when it comes to his former team, so there's already a precedent set that Crosshair's loyalty may be less than perfect. Still, the actual explanation of what went down doesn't reveal that Crosshair killed his teammates and outright betrayed the Empire, just that he failed to complete the mission.

So based on what stories have done in the past, I can picture a couple of different ways for him to return:

 Using the above, Crosshair straight up hides his shaky loyalties and frames the failure as just that: a garden variety failure. Perhaps he implies, though does not outright state, that his team's death came at the hands of TBB. A "Let the Admiral think what he wants" situation that benefits him.

The above + Crosshair emphasizing that TBB escaped. You know what kind of threat they are, Admiral, and though I failed before, I'm still your best chance at capturing/killing them. You need me. Crosshair believes firmly in his own usefulness — that ego — and he's not above working hard to convince others of that.

 Between now and the time of his return, the Admiral has, for whatever reason, reconsidered the benefit of having at least a few clones in his army and is thus pleased that Crosshair survived, no matter the iffy circumstances of that. Personally, my mind keeps focusing on the weird motivations here. Namely, this push to have a conscripted army when, as far as TBB shows, that's a bad option compared to what they've already got. We as the audience know that the Empire needs to reach the point where they've got stormtroopers with terrible aim (that's the OG Star Wars), but right now, outside of that meta context, the Admiral's choices come across as rather stupid to me. Gregor and TBB point out, "These are our replacements?" highlighting that conscripted soldiers just don't have the skill of clones who were bred for war. I can only assume that the Empire was spying on Crosshair's team the same way they did TBB when they were sent to execute the "insurgents," which means they would have seen that the clone, Crosshair, was the only one originally willing to follow their order of killing civilians. Crosshair had to kill the other guy/talk the rest of the team into following that command. And of course, that's largely due to the chip, circling right back to why the Empire would have removed his when it gives them perfect control over Crosshair, especially after bothering to enhance it in the first place. So say nothing of Crosshair's crazy skills, making him one of, if not the best, shooter in the galaxy. I feel like if they want the Admiral to come across as less foolish, all these points should resurface at some point like, "Yes, having an ally specifically bred for war, with a genetically superior makeup to enhance his ability, who can be put under literal mind control and who while in that state has already proven that he'll follow our commands when conscripted soldiers won't... that's actually a good thing for us evil people to have!"

The Admiral has totally written Crosshair off. Doesn't need him. Doesn't want him. But a new character is introduced who is interested and who, crucially, outranks him. So Crosshair is let back in as someone else's evil pet, setting up conflict within the Empire.

The above, but specifically through the lens of clones now being a rare and useful commodity. We know they grabbed Nala Se, so either she (if she regains some power) or her new scientist boss could insist that they keep Crosshair around as a genetic source/experiment/whatever. Especially since they don't have Omega yet. Could even be that Crosshair becomes a prisoner again, returning to fight for the Empire, but becoming their lab rat instead.

Crosshair deliberately does something to get back into their good graces. Something, something, saving the Admiral from a legit threat, or one of Crosshair's own making. A way to show off how useful he is.

 OR we do get a near execution that results in the same basic thing: Crosshair escapes, shows off his skill, all his would-be executioners are dead, he's the last one standing, and the Admiral is like, "Well then. Welcome back." You know when Rex is on the cruiser and goes "This will do nicely," Tech points out that it's not sterile, Rex pushes back that they can go to Kamino instead, and within a second Tech is going, "This will do nicely!" too? Same idea. It's easy to accept Crosshair as the best/only option if he does something to make himself that option.

Ultimately, I think how this goes down will depend largely on whether they want Crosshair back in the Empire's clutches or not. He's told TBB he intends to stick with the big power, but that doesn't necessarily mean the plot will allow for that. If the story wants Crosshair to continue being a willing Imperial for a time, prior to his assumed redemption, then yeah, I think it would be relatively easy to get him back in the Empire's good graces. It wouldn't necessary be the smoothest transition of all time, but as we've already seen in Season One — I don't totally follow why conscripted soldiers are supposedly better than clones, don't follow why TBB isn't trying to rescue Crosshair, don't understand yet why Crosshair won't clarify things about his chip, etc. — motivations in Star Wars can be... messy at the best of times. So if they just went, "And the Empire let Crosshair come back for ___ reason, don't think about that reason too hard" I'd be fine with that. But, if they want Crosshair to start his redemption now, one of the easiest ways to do that would be to stick him with a third party. Someone else finds him on the planet, perhaps someone neutral-ish like another bounty hunter, and Crosshair is given the chance to technically be opposed to his brothers because that's where they left things, but not actively working with the organization hunting him down. Plot-wise it would be relatively simple to put him in situations where he wants to return to the Empire, but can't just now, for whatever reason — they need to travel there, he hasn't thought up a means of getting back in their good graces yet, he gets caught up in another problem he needs to solve first, starts hunting TBB himself to return with that incentive, etc. — and that time allows him to start reconsidering whether he actually wants to go back, now that he's been forced to survive without them. An in-between space that will allow him to work towards the Light side again... even if I'd personally prefer for that to come about through his brothers fighting for him.

[indiemovies]

god yeah <3 sometimes i think about nancy wheeler so much that it's embarrassing. if someone infiltrated my mind half of it would be her !!

so true !!!! if anything, the gun is more of a physical, blatant reminder to the people around her that she's a quick thinker but knows how to defend the people she loves in the case that they can't think their way out of things. i think that if things had played out differently, if barb was killed in an ordinary way/went missing, and there was no upside down, nancy would still end up on the journalism career path, just without her guns

oh god yeah time travel and time travel adjacent things,,, that would be so cool. and terrifyingly traumatizing for all of them, but they could Definitely Go That Route. "when they defeat it and she's able to shower off all the dirt and grit and put on a newly pressed outfit and fix her makeup but even with that veneer of normalcy she can't pretend to be regular or really exist outside of a state of terror" GOD. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. YOUR MIND !!!! that's exactly what she's doing and it kills me to a) see that they hardly explore it in canon and b) note that the fandom is seriously lacking in nancy exploration deep dive psychoanalysis content. everything that you're saying,,, literally god tier. there was a line in a fic once that was talking about how some part of nancy feels like she's only of use when this supernatural danger comes knocking and. i can definitely see that playing out. nancy being untethered, trauma preventing her from moving on (for a while, preventing her from going out and actually getting anywhere in her relationship with steve, and eventually the stagnation builds up like a dam and everything she was trying so hard to ignore comes crashing down around her), and nancy completely surrendering herself to things. grades and partying and getting into her dream college and building a future with jonathan and interning at the post and becoming a journalist and whipping the school paper into pristine shape etc etc. point being ! the only time she feels alive anymore is when she lets herself be consumed by things and pulled along with the tide, and it's in no way healthy but. when she's making plans and knowing where everyone is, when she can plot out a course of action and know that everyone can work on the same wavelength as her, that's when she's most comfortable. it's a little backwards (a little upside down lmao). and you're so right, dw it does indeed make sense!! i would love to spend hours just,, observing nancy wheeler. picking her brain and whatnot

ROBIN CAMEOS IN THE SPINOFF UNTIL ONE EPISODE SHE BECOMES A REGULAR CHARACTER AND THEN NANCY'S LIKE WELL IT'S HONESTLY MORE CONVENIENT IF YOU JUST TRAVEL WITH ME YKNOW. RENT AND GAS MONEY AND PHONE BILLS AND ALL THAT. i gotta admit i haven't seen x files but i shall take your word for it !!!

A FAILFAMILY THAT. THAT SUMS THEM UP SO WELL. like a. like a goddamn snowglobe,, perfect picture family stuck in a world,,, shake them up and down,, drop it on the floor pick it up they're all broken,,, drowning in their own life,, combusts and dies actually.

byler ronance found family friends to lovers not actually unrequited love angst with a happy ending !!! all the best fanfic tropes and the funniest (not really) part of it all is that they're never gonna be canon and happy... but anyways yes. nancy "smh when will my brother realize he's in love with his childhood b(s)f" wheeler -> nancy "oh. oh my god i'm in love with MY friend" wheeler character arc

HSDFHKLJDSJF YEAHHHH. ngl their energy was kinda unmatched. the monster hunting trio is a better ship/friends-but-not-"just-friends"-friends-like-it's-just-sm-deeper-than-romance name than stoncy though. i'm sorry. monster hunting champage?? i do not know what you mean but absolutely i agree <3

MHM all of them really,, how can you possibly date someone who doesn't know about all the stuff they've had to go through how could you explain that your best friend was snatched by an interdimensionally travelling monster and in the same moment, your innocence and childhood were snatched from you (and oh actually. don't like stancy but the symbolism of nancy losing her virginity at the same time she without realizing it lost her childhood through losing her childhood best friend... that was quite literally the last time she had her full-on adolescence and purity i am. not okay) and try to cover it up as my best friend died because of a chemical leak and i feel guilty and like a fundamentally bad person because of it?? so yeah. nancy and robin should date lmao

YEAH. she's so fascinating and has so many different facets and depths and everything... the most character of all time

SAME !!! and it really does help to write down all these things so they don't just float around my head and eventually break off into dust particles. I LOVE YOU AND ALL OF YOUR REPLIES AND BRILLIANCE AND EVERYTHING YOU SAY,, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE MOST RIGHT PERSON EVER

LMFAO GOD REALLY SAW THE DISASTER THAT WAS THE WHEELER FAMILY AND WENT YEAH NO THAT HAS GOTTA END. sorry holly <3 perhaps you should begin considering reverse disowning and find a more normal family before it's too late...

yes gun metaphor!!!! nancy doesnt just own guns she IS the gun!!!! i totally agree, nancy had an inquisitive quality from the start and i think her dedication to justice and curiosity are such core tenants of her. barb was maybe an inciting incident that brought them to the surface more quickly and to a higher intensity but they would've come up no matter what!!!!

"the only time she feels alive anymore is when she lets herself be consumed by things and pulled along with the tide" SCREAMING AND CRYING AT EVERYTHING YOU SAID IT'S SO TRUE it's so true!!!!!! i honestly dont even have anything to add because you the hit the nail on the head so well....im just going to be rereading that paragraph and muttering "WOW" under my breath for weeks now

what do you mean ronance isn't going canon???? LOL jk. i wish there was some brave soul who would make a 300 slide presentation about why and how ronance will be canon. i would love to be delusional about them. but also!!!! them being real genuine friends before getting together is so special too....like they're friends now but i mean friends even when the world isn't ending. both of them realizing they want to spend every day together....robin dialing nancy's number without even thinking and when nancy answers she realizes she doesn't even know what to say, she just wanted to hear her voice. that kind of comfortability that you just accidentally fall into.

HONESTLY THE RONANCE SUPERNATURAL DETECTIVE AGENCY JUST WRITES ITSELF!!!! i dont know if the x files of it all works too much, but nancy's kinda skeptical and robin believes in bigfoot so!!!!! something of a dynamic going on there

THE WHEELER FAMILY ROTATES IN MY BRAIN ON AN ENDLESS LOOP for like the opposite reason that the byers-hopper lives in my brain forever lmao the wheeler suck so much <3333 they're literally. a haunted house with a picket fence yeah.....a broken snowglobe on the ground YEAH. i cant wait for the apocalypse to disrupt the HELL out of them.

OMG I WAS JUST REFERENCING THAT ONE POST that was like "when [some ship from legends of korra] becomes canon we're popping the biggest champagne bottles" and then they didnt become canon so someone made a post that was like "for sale: [ship] bottles. never popped" LOL it'sjust funny to me the way people were sooo hyped for stoncy only for like. nothing to come out of that (we were robbed!!!) but YES i totally agree i have been so on board with the idea of all of them as friends but like friends who are all extremely obsessed with each other and see each other constantly

LITERALLYYYYY yes everything so much. especially what you said about nancy literally losing her adolescence in every way that night. i think shared experience and "being in the know" is so pivotal to so much of stranger things but especially nancy. i know i'm just retreading everything but yeah she literally has no close friends at school or anywhere!!! even her family, even mike, who she knows understands at least a little bit, she can't talk to because he was never actually in the upside down and his best friend came back.

she's like a rubik's cube that is so impossible to solve and i love that about her!!! it's so real that she has contradictions and growth and isn't as perfect as she wants herself to be AHHHHH i love love love talking about her with you<33333

I NEED TO SEE THAT WHEELER HOUSE GET SUCKED UP INTO AN UPSIDE DOWN HOLE POLTERGEIST STYLE!!!!!!!!!

[nonagesiimus]

do u have any book recs for ppl who are trying to get back into reading?

yes but i also have a longer response about reading that im putting under the cut. "get back into reading" is a really broad thing to give recs for so im taking it to mean "things that are low effort but still fun/interesting" and then if you want more specific ideas please god read my longass response under the cut and get back to me

the miraculous journey of edward tulane by kate dicamillio (childrens book about a toy rabbit who gets lost)

the selection by kierra cass (ya dystopian the bachelor but its royalty. this is a TERRIBLE book but i read the entire series. sometimes its fun to read a terrible book)

ice planet barbarians by ruby dixon (alien erotica. note that there IS brief rape/sexual assault early on in the book that is unrelated to the romance. again sometimes it is fun to read a terrible book)

get a life, chloe brown by talia hibbert (contemporary romance about a woman with a bucket list)

all systems red by martha wells (sci fi novella about a secunit who gains free will)

the house in the cerulean sea by tj klune (fantasy auditor goes to check on a fantasy orphanage. i did not like this book but it was extremely easy to read)

im thinking of ending things by iain reid (psychological horror about a woman who goes with her boyfriend to meet his parents for the first time and she thinks she wants to break up with him. this is like the only book ive ever read that legitimately freaked me out while i was reading it)

the year of magical thinking by joan didion OR slouching towards bethlehem by joan didion (memoir about the year of her life following her husbands death, essay collection)

the new me by halle butler (litfic woman works as a temp and has a phenomenal amount of internal rage. i have so much to say about this one honestly)

hunters in the snow by tobias wolff (short story about a three person hunting party. this is my Short Story From High School That I Still Think About)

i tried to give you a variety bc i have no idea what kinds of things you like. good luck!

hmmmm usually "get back into reading" means you previously read as a hobby and fell out of it somehow so usually for that the best book is one you already know and love. whatever book used to be your favorite book when you were a "reader" or maybe when you were a kid. it can literally be a picture book just like anything you actually WANT to read and have a good time reading, thats a good book to get back into reading.

alternatively, some people have a Certain Kind Of Book they can reliably read quickly (for me this is contemporary romance) and reading one or two of these can snap you out of a "reading slump"

i really think the actual most important thing with reading is that you actually ENJOY reading, like you enjoy the process or the analysis or SOMETHING about the experience, because its basically pointless to force yourself to read when you aren't having a good time. so if you're sure you want to read and are just having trouble getting in the swing of things, maybe you need to change the kinds of things you're reading (like, maybe you spend a lot of time reading ya fantasy and need to move to adult fantasy, maybe you focused mostly on novels and now you need to read short stories, maybe you need a new genre, maybe you need a new author, etc). you could totally surprise yourself on what kinds of things you're into, like my boyfriend reads almost exclusively sci fi and i recommended three literary fiction books to him, and he really liked them.

you also have to let go of the idea that you SHOULD be reading anything specific. like you dont HAVE to read any "classics" if you dont want to. if you do i can rec some i like but your reading experience is about what YOU like not what other people think you should read

what im getting at here is i can tell you some books that i think are low effort and fun but they might not actually work on YOU since i dont know what kinds of things you like, what things havent worked for you, etc etc. if you want to like refine your question to "books for people who want to get into horror/romance/literary fiction/etc" i could probably give you some more specific titles that you might actually like. godspeed

[unforth]

A Non-Definitive and Certainly Incomplete List of the Differences Between the Qianqiu/Thousand Autumns Danmei Novel and the Donghua

@blacktigersprings commented on one of my Thousand Autumn Liveblog posts, asking about the differences between the donghua thus far, compared to the book - they'd seen the 16 episodes, but hadn't read it yet. After I wrote down what I could remember I was like...ya know what, I should just make all this into a post.

This is non-exhaustive. I am a tired person with a bad memory and a lot going on, so I am sure I forgot things. I'm gonna ping @baoshan-sanren since they're the main person I know who is in Thousand Autumns fandom also, and I'm willing to guarantee they will think of things I didn't, and also probably be able to correct me if I mixed anything up. I'll try to edit this based on new info, if I have the time, and I might post it as meta on AO3? I did that with my list of differences between CQL and MDZS and people found it helpful so...yeah. I'll add a link if a do.

Note that all posts like this rely to some extent on interpretation; what I write reflects my interpretation and understanding of events (...to the extent I remember them...) and others may have read/watched the same sequences and reached different conclusions. I've made specific notes where I think I'm raising a point that's more subjective than others.

This contains spoilers for all 16 episodes of the donghua, and for the equivalent parts of the novel. I did my best not to put in novel spoilers for past when the donghua ends, but there are allusions to subsequent events.

Anyway - vaguely in chronological order of when they happen?

(read more)

Overall, the basic premises of the donghua and the novel are pretty different. In the donghua, there are several primary conflicts - the intrusion of the Beimi/Tujue, the competition over access to the Solarity, the competition between different sects' top masters, and the search for that ring that Yan Wushi has. In the novel, these are all things that exist, but they're not the primary plot, and they're all at least somewhat difference. While the novel has multiple plotlines that focus on different things, looking at it as a whole, the main plot is a political one about control of the Empire, and how different sects are pulled into that conflict as a result of how the Emperor relates to Confucian, Daoist, and Buddhist sects. Which tradition each sect follows is much more important and relevant in the novel. The Beimi/Tujue plot is still relevant and involved, but it's just one thread in the political milieu. The Solarity, which has different and long name in the novel that I never remember - it's like, "the complete works of (some master who's name isn't in my brain" - is in six volumes, and it's definitely still important, but it's importance kinda fades as the novel progresses (though it's still a main piece at the point where the donghua leaves off). The ring is basically non-existent in the novel - instead of it being in Yan Wushi's possession, it's in the possession of the woman who's birthday party Shen Qiao goes to (...Madam Su? Might be her name? I'm sorry, I'm not great with names, and I usually rely on fandom wikis but this one is sparse) - in the novel, she was a disciple of Hulugu, and then she stole the ring and returned to the Empire. That other Beimi/Tujue disciple (...Dong something??) takes it back and returns with it to his clan, if I recall correctly, so it can be used to unify those clans to make war against the Empire.

In the donghua, Yan Wushi is just...generally portrayed as pretty nice, and the YanShen vibes start pretty early - there's an early sign of playful flirting from Yan Wushi that actually seems sincere? At least it did to me. As a result, the YanShen vibes feel a lot stronger than they do in the novel at a similar point in the narrative. In the novel...I'd personally say Yan Wushi has zero interest, romantically or sexually, until well after where the donghua left off, and their relationship isn't canon until nearly the very end, and is always left more implied than...outright. I would personally say that in the novel, Shen Qiao has some feels for Yan Wushi pre-Sang Jingxing, but Yan Wushi doesn't reciprocate (except maybe at a deep level he refuses to acknowledge). It's not until he's healing post-almost-dying (as in, during the time immediately after when the donghua leaves off - I'm trying to be vague to avoid giving spoilers to people who haven't read it) that there start to be some real clear signs that Yan Wushi may have caught some feels, and even then it's complicated. They're complicated. They're also complicated. It's part of what I love about them, lol.

In the donghua, the fight between Shen Qiao and Kunye is shown "on screen" instead of only being described afterwards, and it's revealed almost right away that Shen Qiao was poisoned. Also, a lot of people help Kunye and they all fight Shen Qiao together. In the novel, this fight is off-screen. It's strictly a one-on-one battle between Shen Qiao and Kunye, and the reader doesn't learn that Shen Qiao lost due to poisoning until Shen Qiao goes to Mount Xuandu to confront Yu Ai.

In both the donghua and the novel, when Yan Wushi is trying to turn Shen Qiao evil, he sets up a mission for Shen Qiao and Yu Shengyan, The object of this mission is to kill a family that serves the Hehuan Sect. Shen Qiao refuses to participate, and helps them escape. In the donghua, they don't actually escape, and the "they serve Hehuan" thing turns out to be a ruse; they actually serve Yan Wushi. In the novel, they're actually Hehuan spies, and Shen Qiao still helps them, and they actually escape.

(RAPE MENTION TRIGGER WARNING) In the donghua, Chen Gong betrays Shen Qiao when that jerk noble whose name I can't remember right now (and it's not in the wiki, god the wiki is so slim, I wish I had time to help with that) hunts him for sport, and he doesn't want to die. In the novel, Chen Gong betrays Shen Qiao when that same jerk noble, who as a reputation for using pretty boys as sex slaves, tries to kidnap Chen Gong as a sex slave, and Chen Gong is like, "no no you don't want to fuck me, I know someone WAY prettier for you to rape." (The fall out remains the same in both - Shen Qiao beats up the guy, nothing bad happens to him, and he and Chen Gong part ways).

In the donghua, Shen Qiao goes to confront Yu Ai at Mount Xuandu by like. Literally walking up to the front gate. And then all the disciples for some reason get mad that Yan Wushi comes, even though he...also walked up to their front gate. Why do they even have a gate??? In the novel, Shen Qiao uses a super sneaky back way, only known to disciples, and so it actually makes some kind of sense when Yu Ai et al are like SHEN QIAO WHY ARE YOU SHOWING THE EVIL GUY OUR BACK DOOR?

(NOTE this one relies more on subtext and thus is very open to interpretation. What's written here reflects my personal interpretation, and others may disagree). In the donghua, when Yan Wushi hands Shen Qiao over to Sang Jingxing, they have a chat that heavily implies that Yan Wushi is kinda-sorta-not-so-secretly thinking that Shen Qiao could win a fight (and is probably expecting Shen Qiao to do so by using the demonic core that has been implanted in him). Sang Jingxing also says things that indicate that he thinks that Yan Wushi is setting a trap for him. In the novel, while it's never all that clear what Yan Wushi's motivations are, it becomes pretty clear by the point of the Sang Jingxing fight that Yan Wushi was serious when he said he didn't care about Shen Qiao, didn't consider him worthy, and doesn't care what happens to him. He definitely handed over Shen Qiao with every intention of Shen Qiao getting tortured and raped, and had no interest in saving him. Shen Qiao only becomes interesting to Yan Wushi afterwards. Yan Wushi is never only playing one game, so he may have thought that being pushed into a corner would force Shen Qiao to use the demonic core, but it also seemed to me like he genuinely didn't care - he'd gotten bored, and was done playing with the "new toy" that was Shen Qiao.

In the donghua, there is a shot of someone - the clothing is pretty unmistakably Yan Wushi's purple robe of ultimate purpleness - pulling Shen Qiao out of a river after he plunges to his almost-demise in the fight with Sang Jingxing. In the novel, Yan Wushi doesn't pull Shen Qiao out of the water, after Shen Qiao destroys his meridians in the fight against Sang Jingxing. Instead, Shen Qiao collapses in the mountains, where he is found by Shiwu and brought back to the monastery for treatment.

In the donghua, Yan Wushi is fighting the four masters who have it in for him, and before the end of the fight, Shen Qiao arrives and tries to help him; he fights the four masters solo to try to keep Yan Wushi from using his powers and harming himself, and when he's about to lose, Yan Wushi...uses his powers and harms himself. In the novel, Shen Qiao doesn't arrive until after Yan Wushi has been defeated; he finds Yan Wushi almost dead and brings him to a small village nearby, where he stays with a nice girl and her...grandfather, iirc...and tries to keep them safe while nursing Yan Wushi back to health.

In the donghua, it's kinda implied that Shen Qiao goes to rescue Yan Wushi because, like...he likes him? There's not really a reason given, just that he wants to, or maybe to keep the ring from going to the Beimi/Tujue? In the novel it's pretty explicit that Shen Qiao goes to save Yan Wushi because he believes Yan Wushi's position in the Empire is critical to the stability of the world - and he wants the world stable, so that there won't be more refugees, starvation, etc. That he also may like Yan Wushi is the case but is almost incidental; Shen Qiao is focused on doing the most good for the most people, and that means saving Yan Wushi, because Yan Wushi is critical to the Empire, and the Empire is critical to the common people. (this is a major part of the political themes that are more prominent in the book than in the donghua).

I can't actually remember when Bian Yanmei was introduced in the novel? But I was pretty sure it was around when Yan Wushi sends Shen Qiao to that birthday banquet? Anyway, Bian Yanmei isn't in the donghua at all thus far; in the donghua, Yan Wushi's only apparent disciple is Yu Shengyan.

[shirtlesssammy]

Anger and Love

I can tell you this. I still hurt over the ending of this show and the reasons roll into each other, like tangled yarn tossed in a bin. (In this metaphor, I am the bin.) 

Castiel

The BURY YOUR GAYS trope. My GOD when will this show learn. (The answer is never. Never, because it’s over.) In 15x18 Cas confesses his love and then dies. Guess who else dies in this episode? Charlie and Stevie! The writers said, “Who will hurt the most to lose? Ah, yes. Charlie in the new and terrified bloom of love.” We can ASSUME that Charlie and Stevie come back, but we don’t get to see it or hear about it. And we get the barest throwaway line that Cas comes back in 15x20, but not seeing him physically return after over a decade on the show feels like a blow that just won’t stop. 

More EMOTIONS below the cut.

On Thursday, I said to Boris that it would have been better if we’d never been tossed that crumb about Cas’s love. Why give us this FEAST and then take it away like Chuck poofing away a dog? Many people have pointed to network cowardice, and that’s certainly a possibility. Some people have put forth the theory that exposing Cas’s love for Dean was simply a season-ending ratings move. Either of those could be true, or some mix of them. Listen, I can spin myself around that stupid knot for days and we’ll probably never get the whole story. Instead, I have to look at the core of what Castiel coming out means for me. And the truth of it is, it means A LOT. It means I love him a whole lot more. Cas is mine, he’s ours, he’s one of us. And I’m angry as hell at how it went down, but I’m still glad we got Cas’s side of the story. I have a pride pin on the lapel of my Cas trench, and it’s never felt more perfect.

So I’m angry, but I’m also incredibly glad. Ugh. Knots.

Boris: We’ll never know what actually went down during the production of this season and the hiatus changes or the show’s narrative arc, but I have to believe that Robert Berens was given some kind of go ahead and planned for a lovely and beautiful ending for Dean and Cas. That his story was taken from him at the end (much like Wayward’s eventual ending), is so unfair. Because Cas’s story wasn’t completed. Dean and Cas’s story will forever float out there for us to ponder. Like Natasha, I will cling to Cas’s confession and see it as a beautiful coming out moment for a character I love very much. I’ll be forever despondent that we didn’t see Dean’s story play out on our televisions.

Dean

I didn’t come out as bi to more than three people until my late 30’s. It was something I was first in denial about, and then it just seemed “not relevant” for a large swath of my life (married for 18 years now). Talking about that with my family and friends surprised me - how relieved I felt. How free. As I was working through this, I was also slipping into Supernatural fandom, and watching a show where Dean COULD BE bi. Reader, I projected myself right onto Dean Bean. Maybe he was like me. Clueless, then in denial, then thinking that part of himself irrelevant. So giving us Cas without Dean, given the scenes we watch on the show, feels like a personal affront. I know I’m projecting here, so I’ll acknowledge those feelings and move on to the next…

I am also PISSED about Dean’s story. All his life he’s been “daddy’s blunt instrument” and ready to die bloody on a hunt. It’s spoken about so often that we think surely - at the end - we’ll subvert that. SURELY he’ll survive. The last couple of seasons, he’s fighting for control - freedom from Michael, freedom from Chuck. He finally achieves that freedom and then loses everything anyway. There are no rewards on Earth. He died solving one last case from John’s journal. Daddy’s little soldier to the end. It’s disgusting to me to take this beautiful, complex character who is textually SO FULL OF LOVE and then take a pass on imagining what he might do with a real life on earth. It’s lazy writing, used for a cheap, fast, emotional reaction. The more I unpack Dean’s fate against the rest of the series, the angrier I get.

Boris: I think so many of us confused and discovering things about ourselves later in life see Dean as a character that matters. His story, had it been told fully, would have mattered. I don’t buy his death or his peaceful afterlife. It’s still too raw to process because he deserves happiness in life!

Billie

“I know Supernatural has a history of killing off characters of color,” I told people, “but Billie’s a main character now!” W O W 15x18 is the kick that keeps on kicking. I did actually enjoy Billie’s arc quite a bit, but losing her still makes me angry, in the broader context of the show.

Women

“Supernatural isn’t great with women,” I said. “But we have Mary now! And Billie!” Please picture me as Olaf when I say. “Mary DIES. Billie DIES. Only sad men remain.” Sure, we get some throwaway lines. We know Donna’s alive in 15x20 because of the call to Dean’s phone. Actually, scratch that, we know someone talked to Donna…because this show didn’t want to address that literally no other hunter knew about or mourned Dean’s death so they had a random stranger call Dean’s “Other other phone” for help. Great. Now I’m mad about Dean again.

We can probably blame some of how the final episode shakes out on COVID. Presumably, the final scene in Heaven would have been a party with Mary, the roadhouse crew, original Charlie, maybe Eileen? Kevin? etc etc. Instead, it’s an empty, lonely end on screen.

Which brings me to Eileen. Sam’s romance was laid out carefully throughout season 15, so what the fuck happened here? We assumed we’d at least get some confirmation that Sam ends up with the woman he brought back from the dead and then dated as recently as a couple episodes ago. Instead, there is literally NOTHING. No attempt is made to say that Eileen’s the one Sam ends up with other than his son having dark hair. There are no family portraits. No sign language to the faceless mother by the house. (Standing in a floral dress, like a good housewife.) Is she dead? Did Sam end up with someone else? Even without dialogue, there are ways to show Eileen’s presence that weren’t used. I’m so angry that she was an element of the season and then…hand waved away as irrelevant. The faceless wife MY GOD, SHOW.

Boris: Yikes, I cynically see the reason to not include Cas in the end because homophobiaTM but to not even give us Eileen and Sam? Clearly, they wanted to erase every person that mattered to the brothers from the end. Ugly.

Heaven

The funny thing is that I’m constantly trying to write a “happy eternity in a now-free Heaven” in my own fan fiction. If anyone should like 15x20 it should be me! I’m always trying to argue that it isn’t major character death, because their souls are infinite and now free, blah blah blah. So ultimately, my problem isn’t with peace in Heaven. It’s with Dean’s EARLY DEATH, and how empty Heaven feels. How desolate and devoid of life. Dean leaves the Roadhouse and drives alone until finally Sam dies and joins him. It reads like the ultimate fuck you to the “family don’t end in blood” storyline. If COVID filming got in the way of filling Heaven with life, then we have all suffered a great loss. It should feel ecstatic and full of community. Instead, it just feels wide and lonely.

Ultimately, boiling the season finale into an intimate portrait of brothers should work on paper. It SHOULD, but the show leaves so much unsaid and unshown about the community and family they’ve built along the way, and tells us to be happy with the scraps we’ve gotten instead. It tells us they were never that important, in the end. 

The Future

I’m still going to watch the show. I’m still going to enjoy the show and the characters. There are reasons I have watched all along, and they don’t have anything to do with needing the show wrapped up in a neat bow. I’m angry with Supernatural���s conclusion, because I love it. And I’m okay with that.

Boris: I love this show so much, and I know I’ll continue to love it. I need time to lick my wounds and forget about this episode. This show is about the characters and the journey and that’ll never end.

[lady-star-strings]

About Dream’s Tweets...

To begin with, I’m demisexual and have been part of the community for years - I think I have pretty good credence to speak on this matter. I try not to throw my two cents into situations like this because I can’t stand the ignorant responses of the internet anymore at my age - DeviantArt Dark Ages vet right here - but sometimes I just have to. Whether you agree or not, I could honestly care less, but I would appreciate it if you read everything and gave it some thought before responding, be it positive or negative. With that said, let’s dive in...

At this point, if people are taking the shipping/fanservice jokes and banter between the Dream Team and other creators surrounding them seriously, I don't know what to tell them or really even say, honestly. They've all stated they're not looking to start relationships with each other - multiple times and on-stream/Twitter, might I add, because people keep donating and asking/demanding an answer to both that and about their sexualities - and that it's just messing around with friends. (If we want to talk about making people uncomfortable and being offensive in that regard, don’t you worry because I've got opinions on that too.) Bottom line is, you can't get mad at them for the fan-service now when you supported it before, especially when nothing has changed and they’ve been transparent about how everything actually is.

I understand that some may feel it’s an insensitive and inappropriate thing to do in some regards, and that's perfectly valid, but please don't go mobbing through the town with pitchforks over literal jokes between friends. Keep in mind, they’ve made it clear that’s all it was before people starting jumping down their throats, and still there are groups using their sexuality to attack them over it because "YoU'rE nOt MlM sO yOu CaN't MaKe ThOsE jOkEs, YoU'rE hOmOpHoBiC!!!!!" They're even openly attacking lesbians and bisexuals - whether they agree with them or not - because they're not gay and that somehow renders their words “invalid.” You can't accuse them of being ignorant for messing around as friends because it entertains the fans, and then turn around to attack literally the entire rest of the community for offering their opinions because they aren't valid enough for you in the argument to count - that makes you ignorant. You also can’t claim to be of the opinion that everyone’s sexuality is their own business, but then demand for them not to be ambiguous about it when it pleases you. Honestly, even thinking about people doing that is so incredibly hypocritical that it gives me whiplash.

I completely understand not everyone is a fan of this behavior, but to accuse them of queerbaiting, being homophobic and faking allyship over it all right now is just ridiculous and borderline disgusting to me. They've made it clear they're not romantically interested in one another countless times and that it's just fun between friends because they're super close - they aren't playing the "Am I, or am I not?" game with anyone for gain so no, they're not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when it’s not explicitly said at any point whether someone is or isn’t LGBTQIA+ so they can play both the community and conservative side by putting them in ambiguous situations that can lean one way or the other for gain, whether it be monetary or otherwise. Not to mention, if they were really as “homophobic” and “falsely allied” as everyone thinks, why would other LGBTQIA+ creators such as Antfrost, Eret, Scott Major, etc. not only support them, but also consider them friends? Again, I get the offense and hurt people might have taken from this behavior, but your opinions and feelings are ultimately not universal so while they are all valid, that doesn't make them right and the final say on the matter. I don’t mean this to say you’re wrong or inferior in the argument, just that you can’t demand others to see your point of view and abide by it without granting them the same respect. The road goes both ways kiddos, I’m sorry. 

Side note, there's no one to blame but the fans themselves for the jokes and whatnot to have continued on this long because they not only supported it, but also actively encouraged it. It’s been taken so seriously that Dream has outright stated on a stream - and now on Twitter - that he and George aren't together and more than likely never will be because they're honest to goodness just really good friends screwing around. Now if you think you're uncomfortable as part of the community, how do you think they feel being accused every five minutes of being against it because they won’t openly state their sexuality? Not to mention, they can't ever talk about actual relationships or joke about other ships because people will literally send death threats to whoever the other party is because they're "rUiNiNg ThE sHiP" at this point - need I remind you of the Septiplier fiasco? It’s alright if it’s a persona or a personality, but for the love of all things holy, please stop treating people like Barbie dolls that you’re trying to make kiss. They gave us the go-ahead to ship them because it makes us happy and allows us to be creative with the concept - don’t ruin it by trying to force them to play the parts you’ve constructed in your head and then get pissy because they won’t.

Also, it is unbelievably messed up for you to donate money to ask their sexuality and/or for them to tell each other that they love them - which then basically makes it a demand because if they ignore it they get blasted for not responding and “taking their money.” For example, Dream will say he loves any of his friends without issue because he does - just not in the way everyone is assuming or wants - and that's just the type of person he is, but George doesn't like to express it that way and that's okay. He shows his love in other ways that we don't always need to know about or see to make it real, just as it is with anyone else in the world. I don’t know how so many people miss it, but when he gets a donation to tell Dream - or anyone for that matter - he loves him on stream, you can easily tell how uncomfortable it makes him - and yes Dream presses/teases him about it sometimes, but he still drops it and doesn't flame him for it for eternity. Those that donate and chat, on the other hand, will not let it go when he doesn’t say it and continue to pour donations in begging him to say it when he’s already made it clear he won’t. You honestly shouldn't be bribing them to say or do anything through donation because that's beyond messed up and manipulative, especially where these matters are concerned.

And even if they weren't straight - which used to be the case and may have changed by this time, we can’t determine such things nor should we try to - or were in a relationship with each other, it isn't any of your goddamn business to know - no way, no how. What they do offline and out of the public eye isn't anyone's business but their own and people need to respect that, not try to force it out of them or play detective to dox that information for the attention. I mean, if you want a good reason as to why Dream hasn't done a face reveal yet, this is absolutely number one on the list because there will be little to no form of privacy for him after he does and he isn't ready to lose that just yet. I certainly can’t blame him for that considering all that’s been happening to him and his friends as of late, and neither can multiple other creators who hold the same beliefs and fears - ie. CorpseHusband, H20Delirious, Ohmwrecker. No one should have to tip-toe on eggshells in their personal life because fans online don't understand boundaries, that's just cruel and unfair after providing the content and comfort that they do without asking anything but support in return.

At the end of the day, I truly just don't understand how people can join in and support the jokes that they've made clear are purely just messing around, but then turn around and crucify them for the exact same thing later down the road. How can you practically harass them about their sexuality and relationship status through providing monetary means, then go on a witch hunt because they’ve decided to be more private with that information in the present? You can't play both sides and then expect to somehow be right or justified in the situation whichever way the tide turns because, at that point, the only wrong one is you. I completely agree that they need to watch their step with what they say and do sometimes - just as everyone with a strong platform does - but only more so now because people will create a problem the second they do anything that could spin into them being horrible people with too much power.

They’re all still incredibly fresh and new to the realm of social media popularity all things considered, and they reached said popularity startlingly fast so it can’t be easy to adjust to all the attention on everything you say and do. With that said, they’re doing remarkably well so far and I have faith that they’re going to continue to learn and grow in this arena given the time. They might mess up and make mistakes - already have, in fact - but that’s part of the gig and you can’t always please or satisfy everyone, so the best you can do is acknowledge your faults and move forward. You can’t demand someone’s head on a pike when they’ve made an effort to right things and it wasn’t good enough for everyone, it’s just not a fair standard to hold anyone to. In that same vein, you also can’t demand whatever you want out of them with the excuse that they owe it to you as a fan - you’re not a fan in any way, shape or form when you play that card, and you need to either shape up or ship out if you're doing that.

If you don't support it and/or don't like it, just don't follow or watch them anymore, it’s truly as simple as that. You can't continue to watch and support them as a “fan” while also touting how ignorant and horrible they are as detractors, that's just not how it works - pick one or the other and stop attacking them and those that don’t agree with you. They’re only on year one of their careers and the amount of people trying to “cancel” and tear them down over things that really aren't issues already is ridiculous, you aren't the righteous keyboard warriors you think you are and it's things like this that are ruining the internet for everyone, not just you.

That’s all I have to say on the matter and will continue to say going forward - sorry if you came here looking for my usual nonsense, but I really felt this needed to be said and addressed. I usually try not to do these sort of rants, however, this is a serious matter and a discussion that we as a community have been needing to have for a while, so now’s as good a time as any.

So, with my peace being given and my two cents thoroughly tossed, why don’t we focus on the bigger issues with YouTube such as their blatant ignorance of pedophilia and copyright abuse? Those seem like a much bigger problems to address at this point in time since that effects creators and fans as a whole - both in the present and the future - don’t you think?

[trifle-of-doom]

The Hawk X Demetri Manifesto

Okay, here is the thing. Despite being well past my teens, there's a particular ship of Cobra Kai that has drawn my attention, this ship being Hawk/Eli x Demetri. When I first watched the show, I was actually more invested in the adult characters storylines than the teens. I immediately rooted for Johnny and Carmen, and I was always hoping for more interactions between them. But then I saw episode 2x05, in which the atmosphere between the Binary Brothers becomes way more dense, and that's when I started to see some potential for them. Not because I'm a deranged person who fosters abusive relationships, but because I immediately caught the hurt/comfort dynamic of the duo, which is something that works really well when it comes to fictional relationships. However, it wasn't until 3x10 that I said, "Ok, that's official, I need to see more of these two! I totally support them!" And I was quite surprised to find a fairly large amount of people who are very committed to this pairing, to the point it's caught the attention of the screenwriters/producers as well. Honestly, I don't know if the showrunners will ever have the guts to make them an official couple, and chances are their supporters will have to keep reading between the lines of their bromance, but in any case, here is my take on why Hawk/Eli x Demetri is an option worth to be considered.

#1 - The Bromance

If there's something that many years of navigating the Internet taught me, is that the main driving factor for fan-made ships is the presence of either a solid relationship based on mutual brotherly love or a bitter rivalry that may or may not flow into hate/obsession. If you consider anime fandoms, there are thousand examples that fit into either of these categories: Yugi and Jonouchi from the Yu-Gi-Oh series (yes, that's how old I am), Yugi and Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh, Sakuragi and Rukawa from Slam Dunk, Light and L from Death Note, etc. And our Hawk and Demetri fit into both categories. When we first see them, they are the stereotypical nerdy friends (possibly childhood friends?) sitting at the losers' table, who have no one else but each other. When Eli is at his most sensitive and fragile, you can tell he feels comfortable being with Demetri by the genuine smile he has on his face as Demetri is joking with Miguel at the canteen table. Through his sarcasm, the mouthy kid acts as a catalyst to deviate the attention from Eli, speaking for him, reprimanding Johnny when he makes fun of his lip and trying to make him feel safe. Besides, you can see a certain degree of frustration in Demetri when Kyler and his gang are harassing Eli, and he's unable to do anything to defend him. And they even have a jingle for their friendship with a robot dance, I mean, how cute is that? But of course, a solid friendship between two helpless nerdy guys is not enough to spark a ship to be rooting for. In order for the magic to happen, another key ingredient is needed, i.e. a little bit of angst. Which brings us straight to the next point.

#2 - The Angst (aka the Hurt/Comfort Dynamic)

Even though I never liked the Twilight saga or any similar urban fantasy young adult works, I can easily see where the appeal comes from; the attraction to a charming, dangerous person who could either protect you from any harm or crush you like grape. Although with different franchises, I wasn't immune to the bad boy trope either (Yes, I'm looking at you, my teenage self drooling over Grimmjow from Bleach). If we can appreciate the genuine, brotherly friendship between nerdy Eli and Demetri, the shift that Eli makes as he transitions into Hawk and becomes more aggressive and dominant gives their relationship a totally different flavor. Attrition sparks a certain tension that, in the viewer's eyes, could either flow into a brawl or into passion.

During the mall fight, Demetri comes to the realization that his former best friend is actually someone who can crush him like grape. We see Hawk intentionally harming him for the first time, and Demetri's heartbreaking expression as he drops the line: "You'd actually hurt me?" And if that line gave us a pang in our hearts when we first watched Season 2, imagine rewatching it now that we know what happens in Season 3. Demetri is chased down the mall, running for his life, and then he's locked in a grip, as his best friend menacingly advances towards him. Demetri appears as the damsel in distress, however his friend is not the one who will fight to protect him, but rather his tormentor.

During the party at Moon's, Demetri manages to briefly go through Hawk's mask and reach out to Eli, thanks to a casual conversation about Dr Who. But then the beer incident happens, and Demetri defends himself with the only weapon he has – his loudmouth. The situation is reversed, and for a brief moment, he gets to be the dominant one as he discloses all Eli's most intimate secrets. Demetri is now actively contributing to the Hurt/Comfort dynamic; he's no longer just a target, but he's doing his part to enlarge that gaping hole that has formed between them. And Hawk didn't take it well.

From this moment on, Demetri becomes a sort of obsession to Hawk, who hunts him down the school, teasing him and taunting him sadistically, like a serial killer from a horror movie, during the big fight. Of course, in real life, this would be completely insane, and the police/a social assistant/psychiatrist should be called, but in ShipLand, these situations are pure gold. Okay, we get it, Hawk wants to get revenge for the humiliation at the party, and he wants to crush that nerd part of himself he sees in Demetri, but he does it with such an intensity that it borders on ridiculous. It's like this is his twisted way to acknowledge Demetri's presence. Eventually, Hawk ends up smashed into the trophy case, and I confess I felt a little disappointed when Demetri broke that hug to give Hawk a roundhouse kick. I mean, it was a great comeback, but I was sincerely hoping for a "No hard feelings man, let's get outta here!" scenario.

Getting back to the sick and twisted way Hawk acknowledges Demetri's presence, he destroys his science project after he got jealous due to him being confident in his nerd self and laughing around with his ex girlfriend (whom the writers insist he still has a crush on). Speaking of Moon, I have a feeling she likes Hawk mostly based on his badass appearance. Remember when she goes "I like this (mohawk) and I love these (muscles), but I'm not dating a bully"?

Then the football match happens. Okay, let's break this down. Demetri trips Hawk and acts all sassy, and a fellow Cobra Kai is immediately ready to take him down, but Hawk stops him. "Fight smart, he says". Too bad that literally 5 seconds earlier he had shoved a kid to the ground just because his ex girlfriend (again, duuuh~) ignored him when he winked at her. And then, as he's trying to intercept the ball, BANG, Hawk hits Demetri, sending him to the ground, pretending it was an accident. So, what does this tell us? That Hawk has some serious anger management issues? Yeah sure, but also that he cares about fighting smart only as long as it serves as an excuse to leave Demetri for him, because he's his designated target. Again, this is all but romantic, and it doesn't necessarily have to be interpreted as him lusting after his friend, but it's undeniable that this dynamic offers a lot of ship fuel.

The arm breaking thing is just too painful to even analyze. We see a completely helpless Demetri begging for mercy to his ex best friend, who has made No Mercy his life motto. And that scream, oh that scream. All I wanted to see was Hawk realizing what he had done and throwing himself on his knees while begging for forgiveness. But I'm glad that at least we get to see he feels awful for what he's done, and I like to think that, as he got home, Eli cried out all the tears he had in his body thinking about poor Demetri at the hospital, with a swollen broken arm, all because of him. Of all the situations, this is undoubtedly the most deranged and extreme, and if something like this happened in real life, the wrongdoer would deserve to be punished and would definitely need to be sent to therapy. But in ShipLand, this opens the road to many, many different scenarios, in which the bully understands his mistakes and shifts back to the good side, or the two share a tender moment after they reconcile, or the traumatized character has to to learn to trust the other one again, or the bully becomes overprotective of his former victim, etc.

#3 - A Rewarding Reconciliation

Finally, we come to the reconciliation, in which Hawk makes his heel-to-face turn. While we've seen him torn with doubt for an entire season about his sensei's teachings, his actions and the people he wants to surround himself with, the key factor that drives Hawk's redemption is the sight of his best friend being held down for him to beat. And with an epic stunt and his awesome KEEEH screech, Hawk jumps to the rescue of his friend. Like many of us, Demetri thought this was still part of the "Only I Can Torment Him" dynamic I discussed earlier, as he steps backwards a little concerned, but then he understands that action was actually meant to save him, and the two begin to fight side by side, in sync, watching each other's back. You can see Demetri's eyes sparkling at the thought of having his friend back.

Also, not only Demetri stands up to alpha bitch Tory in defense of Eli, but he also speaks for his friend when he's faltering, just like he used to. So kudos for Demetri.

#4 - The Red Oni, Blue Oni Dynamic

Binary Brothers are two sides of the same coin and complete each other with opposite character traits, visually expressed by the color red and the color blue. Being the color red typically associated with violence, rage, passion and irrationality, as opposed to blue, which is associated with calmness, melancholy and rationality, red is clearly the dominant color. Again, this opens many interesting scenarios for shippers.

#5 - Body Language

Besides the situations I described above, which may or may not be read from a romantic/attraction standpoint, there are also a collection of small gestures I noticed when rewatching the series with a more attentive look on their relationship.

- Demetri's heart-broken expression when Eli shamefully covers his lip during the anti-bullying announcement.

- The smile Demetri gives when Hawk responds "Hell yeah!" after Aisha proposes to crash Yasmin's party, implying he's learning to embrace this new wild side of his best friend

- The astonished look with which Demetri watches Hawk at the tournament and the way he's pissed no one knows his real name.

- How deeply hurt Demetri is when Hawk belittles him by saying: "Five against three. More like two and a half." He even tries to reply, but he's caught so off guard that words die in his throat.

- How Demetri takes a step towards Hawk during the mall fight, before Sam makes him back off, and how sadly he looks at Hawk's nearly unconscious body after Robby defeated him.

- How Demetri smiles and nods when he briefly connects with Eli at Moon's party, despite the mall incident.

- How Hawk watches Demetri juggle with the cleaning product from behind his bike helmet (how did he stuff the mohawk in there by the way)?

- Hawk's psychotic/sadistic faces when he smells Demetri's blood, and how he likes to hunt him down like he's his prey.

- Hawk's secret impulse to comfort Demetri after the arm breaking (I hope you get nightmares of Demetri's howl of pain for the rest of your life, Hawk).

- The way Hawk twitches his upper lip when he sees his friend Demetri in danger.

- How Hawk and Demetri are so absorbed in their new-found friendship, that they're caught off guard, and Demetri swings Hawk to allow him to deliver a kick using their handshake as a lever. And how they keep fighting together, shaking each other's hands even when they're out of focus and the attention is on Miguel vs. Kyler.

- How they're standing so close at Miyagi Do, in comparison with the other Red/Blue partners.

In conclusion, this kind of relationships are engaging and entertaining to watch, and they make us wish the best for the characters. They make us hope that, in the end, as Miguel puts it, love really conquers all (and what is friendship if not a form of love?), despite all the hurt they did to each other.

So this is it. I hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk. Feel free to share it with whomever you want, especially if you need some solid reasons why this ship has got some good potential.

And remember: the ship is in the eye of the beholder.

F.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA PIRATE AU

(of the Caribbean? Sort of? I guess?)

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the books/films) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, murder, pirates and all of their violent shenanigans, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

Luther is the captain of the guard, and pirates are the bane of his existence. He hates Diego most of all, the man who’s stolen unspeakable amounts of gold from Reginald, Luther’s employer. But as annoyed he is at all of the theft, he purposefully never catches Diego, because he knows Klaus loves him. And Luther may be a man of the law, but he’s also Klaus’ beloved brother-in-spirit, even if Reginald wants them to marry each other for some idiotic reason. (Something about getting Klaus to settle down - ha, he can try.) When Klaus disappears, Luther follows him, having no connections left here - and that’s when he meets Allison. And there are copious laws against getting involved with married women and outlaws alike… so Luther starts to think that maybe bending the rules wouldn’t be so bad. (Klaus is so proud.)

Diego grew up poor, and became a pirate in his early teens when Grace took him in. When she fled the colony, Diego went with her, leaving his childhood best friend Klaus behind. He’s got his own fleet and crew now, and mostly uses his scores as excuses to flirt with Klaus, who’s still just as drawn to him after all these years and often sneaks him into his bedroom when Diego’s in town. Diego’s kept in close touch with Lila and Eudora, both of whom he grew up with once Grace took him away, and they both help him when it comes time for him to crash Klaus’ wedding to Luther (fuck you dude) and steal Klaus away for a life at sea. (Klaus absolutely LOVES this. They kiss a lot. They swing from ropes. Klaus is screaming at all the guards as Diego carries him away bridal-style (ha, I’m so funny). It is delightful.) (His ship is a terror they call The Kraken. Ha, get it? Get it - because Diego’s name - and the monster from legend - okay yeah I’ll shut up now.)

Allison is a badass goddess, covered in colorful tattoos with gold in her hair. She was a prostitute for awhile, stealing a bunch along the way, but one day one of the pirate captains who approached her tried to take more than he paid for. She broke both his hands and killed him in cold blood, then defeated his entire crew in a sword fight single-handedly, earning their respect. She now rides with that same crew as their captain, in one of those off-the-shoulder poet-blouse-corset dresses and high brown boots. Ray is a leutinant who’s been chasing her for years, the two of them flirting back and forth forever… but he’ll never catch her. It’s bad form to arrest your wife.

Klaus is the governor’s bastard son, a totally wild spirit who wears dresses all the time, drinks his weight at parties, and has slept with half the town (marriage is not a problem for him, this is Klaus, we all know he is very down for threesomes). He’s stolen half of Reginald’s shit for Diego over the years, and has been sneaking off to see him just as long, completely in love with his pirate king. Though he’s loved others before - Dave, for example, a soldier whose death broke Klaus into give in to Reginald’s plan to marry him off to Luther (who Klaus loves, just, Not Like That™). The day Diego kidnaps him from his own wedding is the best fucking day of his life - okay, no it wasn’t. That was second best. The best day of his life was the day he and Diego watched Diego’s ship and treasure burn and sink into the sea, and Klaus asked him if he was alright, and Diego just shrugged. Said, You’re the only treasure I need, and kissed him like the world was ending. Yeah. That was the best day of his life, because Diego is the best anything in his life.

Five was a pirate queen until he transitioned a few years ago, though only by word of mouth. No one’s ever seen him. Anyone who works for him doesn’t make it a month outside of the job, usually by his own hands, but people keep coming because nobody knows who he is. He sails alone, though he offers Klaus refuge on his boat for a few days under the moniker Aidan, because he knows Diego loves him, and Five actually respects Diego (if only because he respects Lila who he only respects because he respects Eudora). He hates the Handler for leaving him stranded on an island when he was just a child, an unwanted product of her crew’s hard partying, and has vowed to kill her one day for leaving him alone for so long, ageless in misery. He talks to the mermaid on the front of his ship named Dolores and kills without mercy, and when he finally reveals himself as this skinny pale thirteen-year-old with the grandpa haircut, he revels in the looks on his family’s faces as they try to rebuild their blown brain circuits.

Ben loves Klaus more than life itself, which is, in hindsight, probably why he’s dead. Oh who is he kidding, it’s definitely why he’s dead. Klaus is sort of, kind of, maybe, just a little bit a witch, and they hang witches where they’re from. So when they needed someone to blame for the odd happenings Klaus had caused recently, Ben had taken the blame and worn the noose proudly. Klaus still talks to him all the time, his ghost anyway, and it’s fine - but Klaus lives on the sea now, with Diego, and Ben gets seasick like all the time. (And then he steals Davy Jones’ heart and gets trapped as a tentacle monster, which is honestly not that bad. It helps him scare birds, and Ben likes scaring birds.)

Vanya works as the blacksmith’s apprentice, sad and lonely. She’s been having an affair with the duchess Sissy for years, also working as her maid and a nanny for her son Harlan when asked, but mostly she’s alone, with no one else to care for in the world. (And that creep officer Leonard keeps asking her to marry him, which, just. Ew.) When Five shows up, his hands in his pockets, and offers her a way out, well - what else could she possibly do?

Lila is a badass pirate princess who don’t take no shit from anybody. She wears bright pink ballgowns while skewering people like kabobs, which is funny because she’s a well-known maneater. Literally. (Yes I included a Hannibal character in here because it’s my AU and I can do whatever the fuck I want.) She fell in love with Eudora, and thought she had corrupted the kind sergeant until she found out Eudora had been an undercover pirate the whole time, helping Diego smuggle Reginald’s gold and goods in and out of port. (That’s hot as fucking hell, she blurts when she realizes. Fuck, I’m gonna marry this woman.) She has a serious rum problem she will not be addressing and a collection of pet parrots that will forever prevent her and Ben from becoming friends. When she and Eudora get married, it’s in the middle of the pouring rain while thunder and lightning and gunshots crack around them and they’re killing people and shooting canons left and right (because I may not have shipped Will and Elizabeth but by god if their wedding wasn’t the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen). Now if only she could find the king of the pirates… she’s been hunting Five for years, hoping to prove herself to him, but he just… won’t show up.

Eudora is the sergeant in Reginald’s legions, and has been using her position to help Diego pirate goods since before he even left with Grace. She makes a lot of deals with him, having him carry her cargo and speak with her connections in exchange for her keeping an eye on Klaus for him, which to be honest they both know she’d do anyway. She helped Diego get to Klaus’ wedding and kidnap him, confusing the soldiers in pursuit of the bride, and follows them off to sea, finally home. She feels she owes an eternal debt to Klaus for not being able to save Ben from execution, though she tried, almost desperately. She flirts with Lila all the damn time, and believes in magic, wanting to travel the world looking for it. Most importantly, you should know that she will and has killed for a cheeseburger. (I know they weren’t invented yet shut up.)

Reginald is the governor of the colony, and Klaus’ father. He’s an asshole, one who constantly hunts the pirates because his wife Grace left him to be one. He only has one eye because Grace cut the other out viciously in their last fight, and he’s an abusive piece of shit who lives to terrorize and tax people. Pogo is his assistant / advisor / let-me-stand-here-and-give-you-good-advice-that-we-all-know-you’ll-ignore person. Reginald refuses to die before he catches Grace and sees her hanging in the square - something that seems more and more likely by the day. (HA, Grace says. He wishes.)

Grace is the original pirate queen, and lives in legend. She faked her death after living a double life for years, leaving Reginald and taking her son Diego with her. She knows Reginald doesn’t believe in her death, because she cut his eye out and nearly killed him right before she left, but everyone else believes it. She jumped from the bell tower and Klaus himself “went mad with grief” at the sight of her body, though he of course knows she’s alive and keeps up the story for her benefit. She injured Reginald so severely because he killed Ben, knowing that he wasn’t guilty, and that the witch in question had done nothing wrong anyway. She is known to be fiercely protective of her children, and kind in nature despite her ability to kill you using a historic number of methods. Her crew is made up of refugees who she offered shelter and a better life in exchange for their servitude, including Five, for awhile, who was running a scam. She knows who he is, and remembers his face well - but she keeps it to herself. Though she could match him in a fight easily, she has no interest in battling the boy she has grown to love as a son. (She’s also the one who officiates Diego and Klaus’ wedding, but that’s unrelated.)

The Handler is another pirate queen, and Grace’s greatest rival. She has two pistols at her waist and is not afraid to use them, having such deadly aim that she’s never missed a target - except Diego, which she hates him for. Also for encouraging her first mate and daughter Lila to mutiny, but that’s a whole other can of worms. Her ship is followed by an entire shiver of sharks, who let her use them like water skis whenever she wants. She abandoned Five on an island when he was born into her crew, as she hates children with a burning passion. (There are rumors she eats little boys’ bones. They have yet to be disproven.) Hazel is her snivelling first mate and Cha-Cha is her willing servant and second captain, a master at the wheel and with a sword. Agnes is an old psychic (ha, she’s faking it. She’s got no fuckin’ clue where Five is and will continue to lie whenever asked) she keeps in the brig after kidnapping her years ago, hoping to get a read on Five, who the Handler hates for constantly stealing her goods before they even make it to port. (She has no idea he’s the same boy she left on that island all those years ago - he’s certainly not the only child she’s done that to. But countless are out for her blood… almost every person Grace has rescued was left to die on an island by the Handler.) She eventually dies at Klaus’ hand, who plunges a sword through her heart in defense of his family, who she made the fatal mistake of coming after. (It happened in the same rainy battle where Lila and Eudora were married. He was wearing a yellow ballgown.)

Also Jack Sparrow is super great friends with Lila and he’s married to Will Turner who’s honestly so exhausted but gets along great with Ben and Elizabeth is their ace-aro friend who is a goddamn queen and who Diego has a lowkey crush on and Klaus can geek out with for hours. It’s awesome.

[curechocolattymilk]

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

[madamspeaker]

i've always found nancy inspirational, but the fact that she came straight back after the insurrection despite direct and harrowing threat to her personal safety just raised it to a new level. and she has been so vocally disparaging towards the people who committed/encouraged it, but has never focused on the threat to herself (which frankly was probably the worst of any politician present, given the way they've treated her from the start), instead the precedent it sets for the country.

Thank you so much for this message. It just seems so wholly typical of Nancy to just go straight back to work after something like the insurrection - and it had everything to do with her wanting to make sure that those who took part in the attack on the Capitol knew they had not won, because it strikes me that everything she does comes down to the good of the nation. She genuinely believes in all those Lincoln quotes she recites.

The thing is, so few in the media even consider the threats against her, which is why I was sort of pleased that the House Impeachment Managers had included the footage of those terrorists roaming the halls, calling her hame out in that chilling way, and the fact that she had to be removed from the entire Capitol complex. The shock some reporters expressed at the latter sort of illustrates how rarely any of them consider her security at all (or listen to her). This is a woman who I dare say has been dealing with death threats since she entered Congress. Never forget, Nancy Pelosi was advocating for groups and causes that although every decent person is on their side now, most were not back in the 80s and early 90s. I don’t doubt for one second that she was already getting vile mail and threats because of her support for LGBTQ groups and advocacy for AIDS/HIV research in 1987, and of course when she became leader of the Democrats in the House, it got so much worse. This is what that angers me the most - Republicans attack her without so much as a single consideration for what it means to her safety, her family’s safety, that of her staff, or the police that protect her. They’ve literally spent decades demonising her, and lately with the help of the far-left - anything for a quick political point score, but with zero thought to the fallout in real terms, how their words could be interpretted by gun carrying individuals and and others who are incapable of understanding the nuances in political attacks - or maybe it’s because such nuances don’t really exist anymore. The political attacks have stopped being about policy and have now become highly personal, the literal brainwashing of people into believing that someone like Nancy doesn’t just have a different political outlook on the world as them, but that she is an actual evil person, out to destory America. The fact that Republicans never get called out on this by the press, that indeed the press have in the last few years become little more than stenographers for that rhetoric needs to be addressed, because whilst Trump incited that mob on the 6th January, plenty of other Republicans have been inciting threats to Nancy for a hell of a lot longer than that. And the truly disgusting part is that they are still doing it. Having seen what happened on the 6th January, having watched that footage and heard the sounds of those thugs combing the halls in a hunting party for her, the likes of Lindsey Graham, Ron Johnson, Mark Meadows etc are STILL engaging in the same language and rhetoric that led to those men prowling Congress to murder her.

Also, consider this; my tagging system is fairly simple. I never use general tags like “American Politics”, “Democrats” etc when posting about Nancy. It’s just her name, and her title. I do that deliberately so as to avoid attracting people who might follow those more generic, wider in scope tags, and are out to troll. And yet I get the likes of these...

There are people out there who are searching for her by name. They aren’t just stumbling on one of my posts because they went looking for something or other about Democrats or American Politics - the only way to find my posts is to look for her by name. These are kind of individuals Republicans incite, and are still inciting. Individuals who have bought into Republican garbage about how she hates America, how she will destroy the country, that she’s a drunk (the irony of that one given she doesn’t touch alcohol). They are actively name searching her and leaving messages like this on a nobody’s Tumblr account. If I am getting messages like that, consider what Nancy is getting!!! What her staff have to read every hour of every day. Consider what Christine gets! It must be godawful, and yet Nancy doesn’t complain, because if she did she’d be accused of a) being a “snowflake”, or b) not tough enough. The system is stacked against her - verbally attacked, physically hunted, but because she is a woman, and women must be super tough and show no fear at all or else be considered weak, she has to endure the abuse.

Thank you for also highlighting that she never talks about the trauma in terms of herself - it always is about how others have been affected. It seems so very her to approach trauma like this - end of the day, Nancy is a mother first, and it always shows (her presser yesterday, she ended by telling the press corps to be careful going home because of the weather). I don’t think she can help it, but also, she doesn’t get a choice. I’ve wondered a lot about the Stahl interview over the last few weeks, and the fact that she never once asked Nancy how she was after the attack. Reid was the same a week later. And whilst it may have been the case that Nancy requested them not to, that seems unlikely - journalists rarely react well to having their questions censored, which means neither thought to ask her. No one asked “How are you after what happened, Madam Speaker?”, which says it all really. I mean, she probably would have dodged the question anyway and spoke about her staff because Nancy always focuses on the effects of trauma on others, but it is also true that no one ever thinks to ask about her or give the option to talk about herself. She is continually an after thought for the press, unless she eats ice cream or makes the mistake of believing the word of her hairdresser.

[tartcherryscones]

"If you ever truly existed!"

TLDR; @Bioware's Dragon Age writers: If you even truly exist, maybe give Omnism a look, because the way most religions are treated in Dragon Age is kind of depressing.

My fellow fans, you ever think about Corypheus' death scene and psychically shoot a frosty glare at the Bioware team that does Dragon Age? I do. "What was that sudden chill?" one writer asks, shivering. "It's April in Edmonton: the high today is 40," another says. "No, it was that lesbian in Texas! She's at it again!" a third replies, banging a fist on their desk. And then they send me a polite email asking me to stop, because they're Canadian, but I don't because they deserve it.

Seriously, that line where he's like, "Oh noes! I'm having a crisis of faith! Was Dumat ever real? Like, really real???" just makes me cringe. Look, this isn't a hidden god kind of situation. Dumat is real, okay? Like 100% real. I mean, he's dead, but he's still real. You can have faith in Dumat like you can have faith in butter.

No one ever questions the reality of butter; it's so real it has manifested on your plate. The Congregation for the Causes of Saints isn't going to bother checking if butter really happened, because they know it did. Butter leaves no room for doubt. You can have absolute faith in it. You can spread it on toast, you can sauté vegetables with it, you can put a little on a tiny plate to spoil your cat. Now, you don't have to like butter. Arguments about butter are common as milk. You might think that butter is bad for your cholesterol, or that cows deserve better than to be kept in miserable conditions to make butter, or that Bill Gates has put microchips in your butter, but your faith in the reality of butter is more solid even than butter. Maybe as solid as frozen butter even. No one is questioning butter... Until apparently Corypheus does for some unknowable reason. Get this man some coffee and toast, for pity's sake! He must have had a really rough night.

See, the Old Gods were worshiped not because people believed in something their priests said, but because of something the Old Gods said. Namely, "Sup, peasants! We're gods!" Truth of the matter asserted aside, there were definitely dream dragons chatting to people in the Fade! Furthermore, they were out there rewarding followers, punishing backsliders, and doing loop-de-loops in the Fade-sky. They might even have massacred Barindur! And Corypheus knows that because he has talked to Dumat before!

Before he decided to go full-time b-movie horror villain, his day job was as the freaking High Priest of Dumat. He presumably had the privilege of talking to Dumat more than anyone else did. He was the primary conduit of influence for the worshipers of Dumat to their god.

"No, not like this! I have walked the halls of the Golden City! I have crossed the ages!"

Now, Corypheus might have been upset at not being able to find his gods in the Golden City when he rolled up like an unholy Ms. Frizzle in his elf-blood-powered Magic School Bus, but he has surely since figured out where they really were. Somebody must have told him about the fucking Blights, okay? He knows that the Old Gods were actually underground by the final confrontation with the Inquisitor.

So what is up with this line?

"Dumat, ancient ones, I beseech you! If you exist, if you ever truly existed, aid me now!"

Why are you talking like this, Cory baby? Are you okay? Sweetie, he's gone. Dumat is dead, sweetie. He died a long time ago. Literally everyone else in the whole world knows that. Dumat was the first Old God tainted and killed. The Grey Wardens killed him. You know, those guys you mind-controlled? Yeah, those guys. They could tell you all about it. Their order was actually created to kill Dumat. Dumat's tainting actually touched off the First Blight, which was a somewhat important historical event. Maybe look it up in any history book, or in the Chant of Light, or, better yet, just ask anybody; it's kind of a big deal.

To me, Corypheus' line just smacks of the writers trying to pit one religion against another for the benefit of the Christiany one. I don't like it. Firstly because this is badly done, narratively speaking. Corypheus doesn't even worship the Old Gods anymore and having Corypheus react as if his faith in them is being tested here strikes me as OOC.

Let's not forget that Corypheus had started a new religion with himself as a living god. This is not that uncommon in the real world and people who do this (i.e. cult leaders) don't tend to renounce that stance. By appealing to Dumat, Corypheus is admitting his own weakness and admitting the superiority of Dumat over himself. Corypheus' whole schtick was that he was better than everybody else!

And of course it's anti-non-monotheist because that is Bioware's pattern. Elvhen gods? Aristocrats who hunt people for sport. Modern elven gods? Misremembered historical figures. Avvar gods? Swole spirits. Ancient Tevinter gods? Singing dragons who lied about what part of town they live in. The dwarves' Titans/Stone? Singing crystals that give you a really bad trip, bind you to the hivemind, and make you wander away into the darkness, never to be seen again.

But the Maker? He is a hidden god, so nobody knows, except you should infer that He does exist because He can bring Leliana back from the dead, make and fulfil prophecies concerning what no-good demon-worshipers will say in their final moments (see:Corypheus and Andraste 7:19 "They shall cry out to their false gods and find silence."), and give the Herald just enough luck to survive anything. To do otherwise would seem to be taking a particularly un-meta stance.

Look, Bioware, I get it, you're Christians not polytheists. But seriously, you don't have to shit on everyone else's religions to prove that your favorite one is worthy. You set up all these lovey mythologies! Let some of them be true! Also, it makes things feel kind of bleak and disappointing when you focus so much on proving all the polytheists (and only the polytheists) wrong. For me, it strips some of the wonder away.

Religion is the most magical part of our world. It literally involves willing something (inner strength/gods/spirits of nature/souls of the dead/etc.) to change something about the world. That's magic! It might involve a third party (generally), but it's still magic! It might involve sacrifices of candles, burning incense sticks, donating money, giving up meat, saying special words, reading a special book, drawing sacred circles, or burning entrails in a sort of trade for service, but it's still magic, just like in Thedas! A prayer is not different from a spell. In Thedas, prayers to purify one's soul and prayers to set one's enemies on fire both work. At least, the latter demonstrably does.

Ultimately, you take a little bit more of the magic out of Thedas every time you prove another religion wrong there. You are reducing the fantastical in your fantasy. Please stop it.