#partners and people who have influenced them and helped them grow and realizing that i rarely consciously seek out help even when i need it

[charmcoindied]

i like forget i don't have to do everything myself. career center came to visit my class and the guy who coaches stuff for my major gave a talk about the services they offer and i think it would be very useful to talk to someone over there about where i'm headed and how to get there. like it's incredible that being at a large university gives me access to like unprecedented amounts of support. too bad i've had this nasty seed planted in my head that to be Good i need to be completely self reliant and that asking for help makes me look weak or stupid when in reality the opposite is actually true and the most successful people ask for help frequently and are successful Because of the support of others

[moonchild033]

Moon in the houses (Part 2)💅✨

This is primarily based on how Moon is related to CHANGES and what possible changes moon placements can bring over time. I've included some other random points too.💛

(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement, take whatever that resonates and leave the rest,hope you enjoy giving it a read, take it lightly!) ❤

Moon in 7th house- You could have a dependent personality especially if it's in a water/earth sign. 7H water moons can be openly expressive about it with their partners that they like to be clingy and value companionship a lot, this can even manifest into them indulging in their partner's life too much without leaving space for any personal boundaries. 7H moons can change from being dependent to growing out as an independent person when their feelings and needs were repeatedly misunderstood or hurt by their loved ones, this can be a potential change that will happen in these people. Partner can have a complex personality, difficult to understand or moody. The people they get acquainted in life, not essentially friendships, just the circle of people they have can sound like people pleasers. In man's chart, they can have many female friendships if moon is placed well. Some of you can eat more when feeling anxious or stressed.🤗🤗

Moon in 8th house- You could potentially sense death incidents in your surrounding. You can ooze self pride a lot, difficulty in asking for help to anyone even if you are in need. You opt to struggle by yourself rather than voicing out that you actually need help. Your intelligence will not be limited to specific areas, you have exceptional analytical skills where you go to the root and think everything deeply. You could've been someone who is constantly questioning yourself and having a pessimistic mentality towards life in general, you don't express it outside but you could've struggled with self esteem issues in earlier life stages leading to anxiety and lesser self confidence, then you learn how to navigate through your strengths and wield it in a way that makes u feel more confident. Your confidence stems from feeling powerful, which can make you addicted towards improving your area of strengths and focus on being better than others, this could be the change you can have in later stages where you learn to transform yourself rather than give in to that low self esteem and pessimistic little voice in your mind.💪💪

Moon in 9th house- You could've been a person who wasn't very open minded or judgemental about others ' way of thinking and living life. Your life approach and how you think could be influenced by the teachings of your mother or grandmother. You could've given unsolicited life advice to the people you cared about, based on what you think about their situations, later you realize no one thinks of unsolicited advice as a form of caring as you do and refrain from doing it excessively. The change you might experience as you grow up is the expansion of your thinking, widely accepting things outside your societal norms and becoming a non judgemental friend to anyone. You can be emotionally connected to the places you travel, you are the person who says 'I left a piece of my heart there'. You would collect things from the places you visited, not a famous thing, but something unique that makes you feel sentimental about that particular place and cherish it. You can have a dream of pursuing higher education in foreign places. For taurus and gemini ascendants, this could cause a strained relationship with mom or a mother who was distant or absent. If your sun is well placed, you can be more attached to your father who could've possibly played the role of your mother.❤❤

Moon in 10th house- You can be popular in your workplace and have many friends. You tend to be walking on eggshells, adjusting to people and can sound like a people pleaser. Sometimes you can get caught between two people who don't like each other and you're forced to play a mediator. You don't choose sides easily, that's why you can have friendship with most of the colleagues. Even though you have an image of a pleasant person at work, you can be prone to high levels of stress and sometimes even crying in the bathroom when the workload gets too much, you are not a workaholic, it can make you feel depressed easily. You are sensitive to criticism at work, you would reassess a lot before submitting your assigned task. This can also be an indicator where your passion is in a totally different field from where you work now and you can be prone to changing jobs or even the field from time to time. You would socialize after your work time with colleagues, like in the cafeteria but many times you would mentally force yourself to do so, as you have a hard time saying 'NO' at the workplace. Later, you learn to prioritize yourself, quit from jobs if it's too much stress on you, say NO to the boss if he's asking you to work overtime and tell 'bye' to ur colleagues right after your shift ends and go right to your bed to relax. This could be a change you develop over time.💖💖

Moon in 11th house- You could have a close knit of friends you care about a lot rather than a whole lot of random people. You love the depth of friendship, where you can have deep conversations with each other and be emotionally connected. You rarely entertain the type of friends who just exploit you in later life stages but you are helpful to anyone who comes to you with their problems as you are a great listener and empathetic. You could be that kid who still remembers their best friend from school or is still in contact with them closely. Some people can have the same best friend from their primary/middle school. You could feel like your friends come to you only when they need your help or support, you can feel one sided or way too giving and available always in earlier friendships which can make you to be selective about your circle in a later age. Your elder siblings can lean on you for emotional support and you will gladly provide it for them. You can come off as a different individual than what people would've assumed about you as your social tendencies can fluctuate from time to time, your social battery can go from being very high to living under a rock. Your uniqueness in thinking and approaching emotional situations in a logical way and difference in perspectives can make u feel incompatible with most people but you love the mental stimulation you get from like minded people and can talk with them for hours. Your income can be from multiple sources apart from your main job especially if mercury is involved too. For some people, You feel like a sponge absorbing the energies of people around you in a social setting, which can be draining your own liveliness but you always try your best to lighten up everyone around you. You have difficulty in expressing your emotions as your words are often misinterpreted and you end up murmuring 'no that's not what I meant'.💞💞

Moon in 12th house- Mother could've been hospitalized for a long time or they can be mentally unstable with either being closed off entirely or showing drastic emotional outbursts which can lead you to become a quiet person trying their best to control and turn off their emotions all the time. Traveling to foreign lands, away from home gives you a state of mental peace as your home can be a reminder of your suppressed emotional state, how you were forced to mature as a kid. Instead you can turn towards spirituality and seek solace in that. Your intuitive and psychic nature helps you in understanding the complexities of the human mind, making you an extraordinary person for people to confide in. In earlier stages, you appear as a calm person but inside you carry too much emotional turmoil. The change you face is that you gradually learn to embrace your scars and let go of all the emotional baggage the moment you turn towards spirituality. Your outer demeanor will start to match your inner being, both calm and detached from worldly attachments and emotional sufferings. You could've yearned for deep, soul melting emotional connections but later have philosophical realization phases. You love sleeping but can be frustrated about how much of a light sleeper you are or just how disturbed you sleep. You could have irregular sleep schedules and watery eyes. You have vivid dreams that almost feel so real most of the time. At the younger phase, you could have the habit of isolating yourself and hiding from crowded places when you're hurt, in a fear of lashing out on somebody else or getting your emotional side exposed. You like a partner who can sit in silence with you and understand you without exchanging conversations. You are also highly likely to only have intimacy with the person you feel deeply connected with, flings can make you feel like your energy's been disturbed or just empty inside. At your lower state, you can indulge in compulsive addictions and have flings but if someone with this placement had that phase, they would've felt entirely devastated and overcame it with much difficulty.🌷🌷

With Love- Yashi ❤⚡

Moon in houses part 1 here✨

Masterlist 💖

[pygmi-says-hi]

how to write good unrequited love

UGH THE BEST TROPE rahhhh I get so in love with those fics

*sigh*

but it is hard to write.

What is unrequited love?

It's when A likes B but B has their head up their ass and doesn't like A back (smh). There are lots of avenues for this to take place - best friends, missed the chance, right person wrong time, etc etc.

What makes unrequited love compelling?

There has to be drive, tension, change and growth.

Drive: Why is A so in love with B? Even though they know the circumstances aren't in their favor, why do they continue to pursue them?

Building off of that; what emotion do they feel strongest regarding the situation? Are they mad? Devastated? Determined? Frustrated? Optimistic? The strongest emotions will motivate their actions when interacting with the love interest.

tip: apathy is not a strong choice. If you have ever been in love/had a serious crush (if ur aro idk what to tell you) it's not just 'eh whatever' when they reject you. Though that is a weak emotional choice, it could be the way A presents their emotions.

emotional choices and emotional motivation are two different things. we'll get to that later.

Tension: Does the rift between them have potential? If there is no way in hell that the two are ever getting together and every chance feels cynical, it loses intrigue fast. However, you can still have a doomed relationship if you hammer home the pivotal moments. When do they realize it's impossible? How do they feel? How does that influence their further decision making?

If it isn't doomed and has potential, show the potential. Build up the hints and clues throughout. Flashbacks might be interesting, especially if the two have a history. pining is beautiful. that desperate yearning, where they mentally obsess over their person for days and days? gorgeous, love to see it.

Change: Loving somebody who doesn't love you back causes lots of tension and emotional upheaval, as mentioned above. How does the nature of the preexisting relationship change during this period of stress? Do they drift apart? Why do they drift apart? Does it flip a switch and sparks fly? Is it more plot oriented; does a secret come out that changes everything?

Growth: Both people should grow from the experience. Being in a trying situation such as lost love does a lot to somebody. Character arcs should shine through. Maybe they'll be introspective and realize 'oh, they don't like me because I have xyz habit, let me change that.' Don't let it all be in vain.

Emotional choices versus emotional motivators:

Just because someone feels one way doesn't mean they act accordingly. Some people put on a smile despite being mad as hell. Others cry with joy.

if your character has a default emotional response to everything, that character is Boring As Fuck.

we write stories, not nutritional labels. give it some juice. nobody acts like that except Mark Zuckerberg. Epitome of a saltine cracker.

I digress.

When considering the emotional motivation your character adopts for pursuing the love interest, it's important to dissect why. Already, you should have the obstacle of the relationship outlined. A new partner, bad breakup, wrong timeline, yeah yeah yeah.

How does that obstacle relate to the plot? How does the plot relate to the character(s)? And why would the combination of those two variables create the emotional reaction?

From there, look at the character's personality. How do they handle conflict? Would that be different if the conflict involved someone they care about?

(btw - i write out the questions for you guys to answer. Thinking about it yourself with your own writing background will help you integrate the skill into your system rather than having to follow a method that might not work. I'm not trying to be rhetorical - these are for your benefit.)

That's where the emotional display should come from. That dissonance between how they feel and how they act.

last point:

make it believable. make the audience root for the main character/budding relationship. inner monologue is a bloody brilliant thing in these stories. Those moments of despair and yearning connect with everybody on some degree. milk it dry. common goals, shared interests, relatable quirks. golden.

that's all! byee xox

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Baby Roy Coming Out

Requested: hiya! i was wondering if you could do some Roy sibling headcanons regarding them realizing they are lgbtq+/being in their first (openly) lgbtq+ relationship :3 this blog gives me so much joy, thank you for all that you do!! 💚💚💚 - anon

Requested: Headcanon/fic request :) What if baby Roy came out to their siblings as part of the lgbt+ community? How do you think they would react? Would they be comforting or confused? Especially since most are involved in a conservative news conglomerate. - anon

Requested: Hi! i love your baby roy fics❤️ could i requests baby roy coming out as queer to the sibs? i think it would be so interesting to know their reactions and how logan may have influenced those. thank you so much🫶🫶 - anon

Requested: ooooh! what if baby Roy was queer in some way? - anon

A/N: Happy pride month, my loves!!! These were all requests from months ago, I'm so sorry it took me this long!!! I never actually came out to my family. I've told friends and (accidentally) a few cousins lol, just not my mom/grandparents/etc. It just feels like it's my business and not anyone else's. Still, I am absolutely in love with this idea! I kept things pretty general so that a larger amount of people could relate rather than focused solely on a single gender/sexuality specifically! Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Connor doesn't really understand what you mean. Connor is much older than you and the rest of your siblings. He was brought up in a different time. He doesn't really understand beyond the basics. Still, you're his baby. He wants to know everything about you, he wants there to be no secrets between you. So, that means doing lots of Googling and ending up on some sketchy, inappropriate websites. The next time he sees you, and you're able to get a moment alone, he pulls out his list of questions he has for you. Some things you can explain, others you have to figure out before you get back to him. You're still new to all of this. None of you were introduced to relationships and people and expressions that were different than heterosexual and cisgender. You still have a lot of questions and feelings and self-doubts that you have to work through before you can figure out these obscure references your brother has found on the internet. He's so proud of you, that he makes clear, even if he is a little confused. He gets you a little flag and hangs his own outside of his home. No one ever visits him besides you, so you're the only one who sees it. He wants to go to your local Pride and parade you around. Connor loves you, you're his baby. Regardless of your differences, he will always be there for you. Always.

Kendall thinks you're doing this for attention. That all of this is a phase you'll grow out of and realize you were wrong about. You don't officially come out to him. You know better. It's Connor who tells him when you start dressing differently/inviting potential partners over who are more than just friends. Kendall can't wrap his head around it. He doesn't understand that you were born this way, this is who you've always been, and not just a decision you made one day. He doesn't really get that being lgbtq+ isn't a choice. As far as he can understand, you're doing this to get (the wrong kind of) attention from Logan. That you want to be different and act out and so you're doing this. It doesn't matter that you're a rational adult just coming to terms with who you are, he still sees you as an irrational little kid. Connor tries to help by explaining the different colors in the flag/s, but that just makes him more confused and when he's confused he gets angry. When you fight, because when do the Roy siblings not fight, it's the first thing he brings up as a means of saying you're not as adult as you think you are if you're going to live your life like this. It's like a slap to the face every time. When they were married, Rava tried to get him to understand this isn't what he thinks it is, but nothing and no one can get through to him. He is your Mini Logan. There's no getting through to him about the matter.

Shiv is trying to be as comforting as possible. You were a teenager when you came out to her. You were full of so many confusing feelings, feeling you couldn't vocalize to anyone until it just sort of came out. Luckily, it was Shiv you said it to and not Kendall or your father. You were so upset, distressed, lost, she figured comforting you would be first and then addressing what you said. Shiv wasn't bothered by what you had said, who you said you were. She knew plenty of lgbtg+ people in college. She even went to a few gay clubs just to party. Still, she was of the mind that you were maybe a little too young to really know what those words meant. She said this, which, in the moment, broke your heart. Your sister, the person you went to when you were having friendship problems and disagreement with your father, truly believed you were too young to have figured this out about yourself. For so many years you thought there was something wrong with you, and you finally had words to describe it, and this is all she had to say? Of course, as the years go on, and you're more open about who you are in this family, she recognizes she might have been wrong. She would never admit to that, of course. She'll always be the first person you came out to. It's not a great story to have, but the hurt lessens as time goes on and you realize, though you have always known, your family isn't caught up with the times. They can say they're progressive, but it's in name only.

The first thing Roman does is list off as many crude jokes as he can. One after the other, a few of them with slurs, until he's gotten it all out of his system. Truthfully, he doesn't really care what you do or who you do as long as it's not in front of him. He's been ridiculed by Logan, and your siblings, about his sexuality (or lack thereof) that he can't understand why you're willingly telling him this thing about you that will make you different. In his mind, you're inviting the ridicule and blame that'll come from your father (and Kendall). Why would you admit to this? Why can't you just keep it to yourself? Why can't other people just keep these kinds of things to themselves? He's not against it. He's had his fair share of crushes on all types of people. But he thinks that it's a bit much when you start dressing differently or inviting partners to events/holidays. You're making yourself a target for hate and anger and confusion. He's spent his whole life trying to shield himself from those kinds of emotions because it can lead to hurt and abuse. In his mind, you coming out just invites these feelings and issues, leaving you vulnerable. He cringes every time you tell someone new because he fears it'll lead to blame and ridicule. He doesn't understand why you have to be so open about this when, for decades, people like you lived in secret? What's so hard about keeping it a secret? It's safer that way.

[aloeverified]

i’m curious do u have any headcanons abt wayne and raj… they are the characters ever

yes 💪

their fullnames are raj kapoor & wayne graham (the most candian name ever for the most candian character ever).

wayne was always way taller than raj growing up, but now they're roughly around the same height. it's just not obvious to most people since wayne wears boots and raj sticks with his trusty converse. raj is just pushing 5'10 and wayne's a little over 5'11.

raj has two younger siblings who are twin brother and sister and are much younger than he is. wayne is an only child, but their families are so intertwined that they basically consider him their older brother too.

they're juniors in high school (assuming that's how it works in canada, too lazy to google it rn) and are about seventeen. they don't look or act super young, but they still got the "when i'm older" type of vibe that most people who are right about to graduate don't really have.

they've been best friends for a while, but not quite childhood best friends. i think they met during gym class of sixth grade and just instantly hit it off due to their shared interests in sports and humor.

raj's parents are first generation immigrants so they're not completely fluent in english and have a bit of an accent when they talk. since his moms raised him to be the most highly of gentlemen, wayne asked raj to teach him a bit of telugu so he could make polite conversation with them whenever he came over without all the pressure being on them. that was his first step to almost being immediately adopted by them.

this actually caused them to both realize they really enjoy studying languages. they continued studying telugu together, with raj tutoring wayne. wayne also decided to take up french classes early, and raj had his parents sign him up to learn the basics of other southern indian languages they knew. they both view this as a helpful skill for when they're international hockey stars, of course.

they live in a decently smaller-sized town, so despite not being neighbors, they still find a way to be at each other's house every other day. they switch off depending on what they're feeling, and their parents learned to accept that they're a package deal that comes and goes whenever they please.

since his parents discovered he was gay through the show rather than raj actually coming out to him, they — along with wayne's moms — thought it would be funny to turn his coming home party from the show into a coming out party as well. raj realized this when he cut into the cake and it was rainbow inside.

his family was very adamant about showing raj how supportive they are. he wasn't sure why, as their best friends were a lesbian couple and his best friend was the son of said couple, but they still repeatedly told him how proud of him they were and how much they loved him. the only pushback he received was his nani complaining about how he wasn't allowed to date until he was thirty and that this bowie boy was ruining that.

teacher hate these two. they never shut up in class, will ditch their assigned partners to work with each other, never get their work done, and yet still manage to have good grades (because they know they won't be able to play otherwise). no one understands how they do it.

they always have the most over-the-top cartoony outfits for spirit weeks. even the asb and student council kids find it embarrassing how much school spirit they have.

besides their accidental menace behavior, they never actually get into any real trouble at school. the only time they've ever gotten suspended was when wayne wanted to test his new padding gear and rammed himself into the lockers at full force and nearly killed himself while raj recorded.

because of their ridiculous stunts they like to post, wayne has a bit of a following on social media. he doesn't really do it to be an influencer or for attention or anything, he just likes being able to look back on all the fun moments he and rajie have together. that's one of the reasons they were so eager to be on total drama, to showcase their awesome friendship and have the tapes of all their fun challenges together.

they work part-time at the local ice rink, where they were able to land jobs due to their skills on the ice. they even work the same shift most of the time since they have the same availability hours, although they switch off between standing behind the counter and supervising on the ice. sometimes they both get to help out with the little league hockey teams, though, which they both really enjoy.

[thisismeracing]

bono!reader thots 

all excerpts from rupi kaur’s home body

“i want someone who is  inspired by my brilliance  not threatened by it” 

in a dimly lit room after a long day's work. bon layed stretched out on her bed where she lies her head every night, staring at the ceiling lamenting a relationship she knew was never going to last. lamenting how she couldn’t be enough for him. lamenting the time she devoted to making it “work”. lamenting how she changed herself for him. 

“make it a point  to love yourself as fiercely as you do other people -commitment”

her people love her for who and how she is already, so why would it be a crime for her to do the same? 

“i am trusting the uncertainty  and believing i will  end up somewhere right and good” 

the last time she was in a relationship she was burned so badly she never thought she could do it again. because when that ended it felt like the world, her world, ended. and putting trust in mick not to do that with her was tough but ultimately she decided it was worth doing so. and she could not be more happy with the results of said trust. 

“i was trying to make him the one  and it took me three years to realize  love doesn’t work like that”

she just wanted to be loved. to be chosen. to be cared for. by someone who wasn’t “obligated” to be in her life. but wanting to be loved and loving is not the same thing. 

“i don't know what to do with a man who wants to hold onto me  for the rest of our lives” 

she got everything she wanted and more when she started dating mick. but coming off that toxic relationship left a lot of insecurities in her. insecurities that took longer to shake off than she would like to admit. and he couldn't have been more distant towards her whilst mick held onto her like his life depended on it. like he could die tomorrow and the only thing that would matter would be her. it was just different and took some time to get used to. 

“the love of a family  friends and community is just as potent  as the love of a romantic relationship”

god the love her people hold for her. her people being the majority of the village the world calls f1. how they would lay down their lives for her, similar to her partner. but their devotion is different. their devotion comes from helping in raising her through her adolescence, and mick’s devotion comes from who she grew to be as an adult and the ways she continues to grow and change throughout her life. there is overlap but it all boils down to love. 

“nothing can replace  how the women in my life  make me feel”

both positive and negative. her mom leaving and the hurt that caused probably will never go away. but the love she gets from the women in the paddock but susie especially makes up for that fact in more ways than one. 

“the power of knowing your worth is  you can never run out of reasons to love yourself”

she loves who she is. it took work and courage to get to this point, but she did it. and she’s a better person because of it. and yeah that’s great for her own well being but as well as the little humans she brought into this world. that she can be a good influence and role model for them that her father was for her and how michael and corinna were for mick and gina. that she can instill confidence in her babies and make them feel oh so loved. loved to the point that they don't have to question it, they just know it. 

[not gonna lie i almost cried while putting this together]

☕

I love rupi! <3<3 this is just so wholesome and on point aaaa

I think Bon has a small journal where she writes about her feelings every once in a while, not like a diary, but rather a journal, small sentences that came to her head when she was with mick along with the tickets to their first weather date as friends

[poplohours]

feeling annoyed by fandom again so i just want to think about the agony of narcissistic abuse in AA4 and how all the fathers/older figures (yes including nick) ultimately show negative behaviors that have harmed the younger person they have cared for or mentored lol. i think i remember someone getting really mad about me mentioning covert incest in the context of AA4, but Boy what the fuck is the point of media if you don't talk about what's difficult in life, if you don't find vectors to seriously discuss complex relationships between adults and children, fathers and daughters (nick and trucy).

When I say 'covert incest', I don't mean hidden incest in the literal term, but rather emotional incest. Emotional incest is a really meaningful term, even if people despise having to look at the word incest, because the issue of emotional abuse wherein parents overly depend on their own children is not something many people are able to broadly conceptualize! It isn't something that is usually done in a malicious way, either -- many parents who do that are frequently themselves struggling with trauma, lack of direction, insecurities, and other struggles. However, the issue therein is they depend on a child for support rather than an adult of their own age or social position. This often coincides with a condition that we do call Parentification -- something I think is more well-known as a term, as it is when a child is forced to grow up too quickly as extreme responsibilities beyond their years are placed upon them.

I realize it may seen strange or extreme for me to discuss this in the context of such a silly series as Ace Attorney, but it is an issue that frequently appears in the game. Mia is left to be a parent figure to Maya before leaving to become an attorney, leaving Maya primarily in the care of their aunt who loathes them both. Maya ends up being a major caretaker of Pearl, despite herself still being a teenager, after Morgan is imprisoned. Maya ends up managing many office affairs on behalf of Nick because while he is an adult with a law degree, he simply accepts her help and aid rather than actually engaging with her as the child she is (something he will frequently do through the series). Kristoph appears to have somewhat of a parental relationship with Klavier (though I recognize this is up for debate and open to interpretation), actively gaslighting and undermining him in a court of law as well as using Klavier's teenage desire to feel equal to his older brother for his own benefit years prior.

I could very likely go on in this matter, but I do think that these issues are most encapsulated by Nick and Trucy. You could also engage with this at the level of Drew and Vera, Lamiroir and Machi, Klav and Kristoph (as previously noted), and Zak and Trucy.

However, while all of those are relevant, Drew wants to protect his daughter despite his failures in depending on her, even if it means the two of them completely shutting themselves off from the world. While Lamiroir is travelling with a 14 year old that she is utilizing as her primary music partner before essentially ending her parental relationship after Machi is imprisoned. Zak does still act as a father to Trucy in the midst of being actively blackmailed by Magnifi -- while it is unreasonable that Trucy has to perform as an eight year old, she is also the granddaughter of Magnifi and (from Magnifi's perspective) the one left to inherit the Gramarye name. Zak's situation has a deeply complicated nature because Magnifi is playing a part in Trucy being a performer -- this is one of the reasons why I don't read Zak's influence as 'parentification' in the same way, even though I do think he and Magnifi did ultimately groom Trucy to be too accepting of this role from a young age.

That brings me to Nick. I do believe it is easy to play off many of the lines that come up. Trucy "takes charge" of the situation, saying that she can take care of Nick even if he doesn't have a job anymore. She's already done shows and is prepared. However, we already know from the future that Nick did take her up on this. She calls herself his 'sugar daddy'. Again, this can be taken as a joke. But Trucy does regular shows at the Wonder Bar advertising her 'Magic Panties', which comes up frequently as something that makes Apollo actively uncomfortable. It is, of course, another 'joke', but the fact that the game does lean so much into Apollo being uncomfortable about Trucy's 'panties' frankly speaks to me as Shu Takumi failing to recognize the discomforting implications of his supposed gag.

Especially when you do have to find an adult woman's actual underwear.

I'm sure people would call me insane for this, but Trucy's Magic Panties show reads to me as a light form of sex work. That's how her show is "sold" and "advertised". The funny joke is that it isn't at all what people would expect -- the funny joke is that people expect it to be the underwear of a 15 year old girl that they are willingly coming to see. "It's a joke", someone would gladly tell me, "Don't read into it so much." And yet this is the kind of thing that matters to me. The implications of this matter and the fact that Apollo is the one sane person in the room who says, "What the hell, don't talk about this, she's a kid" stick in my brain and vibrate with such aggressive intensity that I do feel insane. It feels like horror. It feels like tragedy.

There are so many lines that come up about Trucy and Nick's relationship which border this sense of Nick's unhealthy dependency on her.

Apollo: So you're his, er... you're Phoenix Wright's daughter? Trucy: That's right! After Daddy quit law seven years ago... ...I promised I would keep him fed! So I'm kind of his sugar daddy! Get it? Apollo: No. Trucy: I'm in charge of this whole office, too. Pretty amazing for a young lass of fifteen, wouldn't you agree!?

This early exchange from 4-2 immediately presents Nick and Trucy's relationship as one that centers Trucy's caretaking for her father and the office. It is a talent agency where she is the only one good at her "actual talent" (though she is careful not to mention her father's Poker job), it is an agency where she is meeting new people by herself, it is an agency where a 15 year old girl is managing the office at 9:00 AM rather than being at school. "Well, that doesn't matter, because Takumi didn't intend for it to be like that." What is the point of engaging with a piece of media if we cannot consider the serious implications of that which an author (especially one as misogynistic as Takumi) failed to consider?

Apollo: Mr. Wright's bed... It's really messy. Trucy: Look how messy this is! You're just hopeless without me, aren't you, Daddy? Apollo: (Yikes! She's attempting to clean up! Look out!) Phoenix: Ah ha ha. You got me. What can I say? I was raised in a barn. Try not to let word get out, Apollo. If you don't mind.

There are several bits at the hospital that broadly feel improper for a child and a parent -- again, I know someone could say to me, "This is part of the act that Trucy and Nick are putting together to hook Apollo into working for them." The problem is, these things are already rooted in the very moment that Nick took in Trucy. "You're just hopeless without me" alongside 8 year old Trucy saying, "I'll take care of you" speaks to that exact idea of emotional incest of which their interactions remind me.

Phoenix: Yeah... That's the problem with such a tight operation. It's a symbiotic relationship. When one of us falls, the other, too, must fall... Apollo: Hey! This isn't exactly a suitable conversation to be having with a 15 year old kid!

"It's a symbiotic relationship." This is one of the lines I always come back to when thinking about the issue of emotional incest. There's one aspect here wherein Trucy has taken on a maternal role for Nick. However, there's another aspect in the inappropriate way that Nick refers to their relationship. There is no such thing as a 'symbiotic' relationship to this context -- he's talking about dependency. At this point in time, Nick is aware that Apollo is Trucy's brother. Due to that, he would also know that Apollo grew up as an orphan. When Apollo pushes back, it feels like Nick wants to play into that potential for insecurity. There's a double-pronged horror to me within this, using the potential well-being of an adopted teenager against a young adult man who himself was never adopted.

Phoenix: Sometimes when magicians vanish, they leave something behind... That's how Trucy became Trucy Wright... my daughter. To be honest, I was pretty lost those first few days. Thinking back on it, it was a pretty dark time in my life. But Trucy... happy, smiling Trucy... she was my light.

"She was my light."

There's a way within emotional incest that a parent or adult figure will frame their child in the lens of a relationship inappropriate for their status. Oftentimes, this is akin to a 'romantic' projection, but it can have similar ranges within the idea of placing a child upon a pedestal as a savior. I recognize that a parent could say this without meaning for it to be an unhealthy projection, but this is inherently dehumanizing. I find it further frustrating because Nick also frames himself as the "one person who understands how she really feels". He knows that she's forcing a smile and hiding her true feelings, but he still engages with her ability to hide her own heart as a thread to hang on. Is that love? Yes, of a sort.

But Nick's love is self-serving. It is one that expresses need rather than external concern. His own feelings and goals come before her safety and well-being. He leaves Trucy on her own, he knows the very core of her magic panties act, he actively allows her to manage the agency, he assigns a greater responsibility than anyone should to a 15 year old, and effectively replaces her with Athena once the option arrives. Nick wanted to "restore" his reputation -- at least, that is one of the major assumptions made by fandom -- and so he did. He no longer needs her in the same way because it can now be a law agency again, he has the respect he wanted, and ultimately her "reward" is being relegated to the side. The people he wanted to have back in his life have returned. That isolation he once felt that led to his complete dependence on her has disappeared, but that means she no longer has the same use she once had. Enmeshment, emotional manipulation, the covert nature of it all -- it is a tragedy and it is one I find compelling as she jumps into the deep-end as she tries to take on the Gramarye name once again. As her father goes his own way and the Wright Anything Agency is subsumed by him.

[mcalhenwrites]

Can I rant about Seasons for a bit?

I don't think that Vivian and Graham are bad people. Bad parents maybe, but i think their character and behavior is only a result of circumstances neither of them could control in their past. I'm not trying to justify their behavior. Vivian growing up in an abusive household, being taken in by someone who treated him just a little kinder than others must've warped his views on love and parenting a lot. He will never see the corporal and harsh punishment of his children as wrong because when he was growing up, he felt he deserved it. No matter how small the infraction is, Because, at least now, he wasn't beat for nothing, right? Coming into magic didn't help his situation much at all, I suppose. Just gave him more outlet to express his emotions, especially as a teen going through a rebellious phase.

Graham if I remember correctly was kind of sheltered growing up and I think he latched on to that connection with Vivian quickly as teenagers do. Whirlwind romance. He was so quick to pick up and leave everything behind for his exciting new companion, not noticing what kind of influence and reputation Viv had. He stayed with him throughout the years and allowed him to be the more dominant partner because of that I think.

I wondered, without the secret of the magic to keep, would Vivian still have treated Shannon so terribly? I think he would have. He would always fond something to let boil over, and they'd end up right back in that cellar again. I think having magic made Vivian a lot more bold and careless than he would've been without it. The ability to just shut out the outside world from your affairs and be able to disappear whenever you please made him overconfident and seeking that power. If he didn't have magic, I imagine things would've come to a head between he and Graham about his parenting style much sooner...

Sorry for the long rant 😅 Feel free to ignore this! I apologize if I'm wrong about your characterization

Oh, I absolutely love this ask, and I welcome discussions about Seasons! Thank you for taking the time to type all of this out and share it with me. :D

This might turn into a long response, sorry in advance.

I didn’t want Vivian and Graham to come off as complete monsters when I wrote the story. In fact, Vivian ended up worse than I initially intended, because I did not predict he would use his magic on Howie. That scene just happened. (A lot of this story did, if I’m honest, but I had vague ideas about what I wanted to do with it.)

The thing is, each of their children—especially Howie—are the focus of this story. All of them are highlighted in some way. And Howie loves them at the beginning of Seasons. He leans into Vivian and Graham’s affections whenever he can get them, starved for attention. He wants them in his life and initially starts off the story far more forgiving than how he feels by the end of it.

Bee adores both of them as any small child who needs their parents often does. El wants Vivian and Graham to do better so he can forgive them.

I have a tendency to write a lot of stories with abusive parents who are misguided by their own upbringing and societal norms. They’re antagonists, but not all antagonists are evil. The generational cycle continues until the offspring who chose to break it come along. (And sometimes it’s a mix, where some of them continue it and others break it.)

Not to say that anyone who reacts with “I want to take a shiv to Vivian” is wrong! I get the urge to say it and usually get a good laugh out of making jokes like that myself. In fact, I realized while typing this up that “Shiv Viv” is funny as hell…

That said, I’m so glad that people can see Vivian and Graham as more than just evil characters without depth to their characters! And I’m grateful you’re not trying to justify their parenting, I appreciate that. (Discussing their parenting is interesting and I do welcome it, I just never want another comment like the one that told me El deserved a spanking for blowing up at Vivian. As if the beginning of that chapter hadn’t highlighted how badly Vivian and Graham gaslighted El and how much pain that boy had bottled up.)

I really hope “Cosmos”—the prequel about Vivian’s youth—will highlight a lot more about Vivian’s character and his relationship with Graham.

It’s true that he saw Gideon as a savior because some things got better. There’s a conversation in one of my older stories, Cashmere, where one character is mad at his boyfriend for how he treats others. The defense from the boyfriend is, “at least I’m not my parents” and his partner retorts, “You know, just because you’re better than some people out there, it doesn’t mean you can’t still be wrong.”

Gideon still wronged Vivian, he just didn’t starve him or clobber him or sexually abuse him.

The worst part is that not only did Vivian normalize Gideon’s style of parenting, but their society has normalized it too. Vivian has so few positive influences and no one to step in and say, “Hey, this isn’t right.”

As for Graham, he was a bit sheltered in his early years. He still went to school and made friends, and his father was somewhat active in his life (not always in a good way). But he 100% got carried away by his romantic inclinations. Running away with the love of your life and going on an adventure sounds like a lot of fun when you’re young. (Though he wasn’t a teen, he was in his twenties. But I’d argue that most of your 20s are all about doing new things and screwing most of them up. Most of life is like that, actually, but it’s especially true for your 20s. Source: I’m in my late 30s.)

I agree that Viv’s magic plays a huge role in everything, from the continuation of his relationship with Graham, his parenting going unchecked, and his personal growth.

Graham is scared of Vivian’s magic after a while. He’s not aging, and everyone around him is getting old or dying. All that will be left is Vivian. And he doesn’t know at this point that Vivian going to be the kind of father he is until Shannon is there. By that point, Graham can’t leave. Shannon is biologically Vivian’s, and Vivian can just magic all these children into existence if he pleases. Graham may not be a great father—he’s much like his own, who whipped him a lot growing up—but he tries to talk Vivian down. Sometimes he even succeeds, even if only mildly, and that further convinces him that he can’t leave the children to Vivian.

The catch with Shannon is that Vivian would have been ready to parent when he had a child if not for his magic. Vivian was homeless and didn’t like sudden changes unless they were his decision, and Shannon just plopped into his life and forced Vivian into parenthood.

By the time Vivian would have willingly had children without his magic there, he would have felt the consequences of his actions more explicitly. Imagine El, Howie, and Bee all hitting puberty and teens normally, with no magic but zero tolerance for Vivian’s expectations. They’d have friends in their age groups. Influences, bad and good. No magic signatures to track them if they sneak out of the house at night. (Howie is the type who sneaks out and goes on the rooftops with his friends.)

Vivian is the epitome of someone who doesn’t do well with most changes. His magic was his barrier and kept him frozen in time in many ways. He adapted to some technology, but no doubt he dislikes some of it. (In some ways, he’s right, let’s hate smart appliances.) While it’s not bad that he’s still accustomed to styles and decor that have come out of fashion, it still applies to how he treats his children.

He stunted their growth with that frozen time. All of them—Graham, the children, and himself.

He found comfort alongside that power in his magic, and he doesn’t see the latter as much as the people he has power over can see it. He just knows the comfort it gave him.

I don’t think Graham would have even stuck around with Vivian if they had both aged normally and immortality wasn’t so enticing. He would have watched the pair of them get old, both of them unhappy, and maybe chose not to have that for the rest of his life. Left so he could be happy elsewhere before he reached his thirties or forties.

I wonder if Vivian would have had children at all then, or if he would have died miserable and alone after Graham left.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Luca's Pokemon Main Game + Kitakami GO!!!

Main Game:

Thyme( Meowscarda)- he/him ( adamant, loves to eat)

- Dedicated performer of tricks and pranks.

- Loves stealing snacks

- Doesn't like sharing the spotlight, tends to grow jealous of other members when Luca gives them more attention. Still cares for his team and would do anything for them.

Jo(Clodsire)- she/her ( Calm, proud of her power)

- Incredibly chill. Honestly just happy to be there.

- Knows her battling capabilities well and takes pride in them.

- Generally a good gal who gets along with anyone.

Dolly(Dachsbun)- she/her ( Relaxed, somewhat vain)

- Sweetheart that will fuck you up if you mess with her or her team.

- Likes to help with baking or making sandwiches.

Irene(Espathra)- he/him (Bold , capable of taking hits)

- The most level headed of the punch. Some would argue he's more of a leader than Thyme. Definitely a powerhouse once he gets going.

- Peculiar taste in fashion, not entirely sure if he's fond of Luca's taste in fashion or utterly despises it.

- Carries himself with elegance and grace. With some sass on the side.

Tink(Tinkaton)- she/her ( Naughty, is somewhat stubborn)

- Can and will smash you with her hammer.

- Kinda battle hungry, always looking for a fight.

- Thyme's partner in crime, loves pulling pranks on the others, especially Irene.

Carlota(Armarouge)-she/her ( Quiet, nods off a lot)

- Looks rather stoic, but is actually pretty shy.

- Also pretty level headed, but tends to get dragged into situations for being a pushover.

- Incredibly chivalrous and works hard, but sometimes pushes herself too much.

Kitakami:

Cutie( Cutiefly) she/her ( Brave/Modest, quick tempered)

- Feisty in spirit, tends to get into arguments easily.

- Always looking out for the little guy, ironic given how she is very little.

- Always eager to share her home's history to those who wish to listen.

Apple(Dipplin) he/him ( Jolly/Timid, capable of taking hits)

- Happy go lucky guy, always trying his best!!

- Often tries to see the good in people

- Kinda a nerd, likes to listen to Cutie talk.

Moon(Clefable)-he/him ( Hasty/Bold, somewhat lost in thought)

- Always seems to have A Plan.

- Kind off an ass at first, but is nice when you get past his snarkiness.

- Social, but likes to keep to himself most times. Not many people know what he's thinking.

Skully(Houndoom)-she/her ( Lax somewhat vain)

- Kinda chill, can get lazy sometimes.

- Gets flustered incredibly easy though. Hard to tell given that she has a hard rbf.

- Kinds in amusing that someone like her is tied to the literal glitter bomb that is Luca.

Fisher(Crawdaunt)-he/him ( Rash/Adamant, proud of it's power)

- An arrogant brute that is more than willing to show off his strength. Got humbled hard by Cutie.

- Not used to being on a team, let alone be taking orders from anyone that isn't himself, but he comes around.

- Doesn't like to admit it, but he likes having his new friends around. He was pretty lonely before ( bc he was an arrogant brute)

Tiny(Gliscor) - he/him ( Impish, is capable of taking hits)

-Bitch won't die electric boogalo

- Used to love hiding in spots and surprising others but can't do that given how big he is now. Is still a bit of a jokester though.

- Upon evolving, realized he was trans :)

Ponyo(Ogerpon) - she/her ( Lonely, takes plenty of siestas)

- Baby gorl. Has done nothing wrong ever.

- Still slightly wary of humans, but definitely doesn't feel as alone as she did before ( Fisher totally isn't attached to her. Nope)

- Likes holding Luca's hand when they walk together :)

I made this quickly so some details might change. Also for some natures have a / with another one. That just means I used a mint on them. They don't influence their personalities but I thought it would be important to know. Also Ponyo was gonna be in a different post with Luca's other pokemon ( if I ever get to that lol) but she's too important to not be part of the main squad so here.

[alyjojo]

June 🦜 2023 Monthly - Libra

Whole of your energy: 4 Swords

This reading is about healing a soul tie you have in your life that’s been severed, due to competition, ego games, arguments, conflict and drama, regarding a new beginning for you. Your color cards are the very first and last colors in the whole deck, you could be having some intense spiritual experiences this month. This could also be an old situation coming back to light (with The World rev), and these cards are showing how far you’ve come. From baby to spiritual elder, not literally. For now, you’re not talking to this person, who is probably a mother, grandmother, wife even, some sort of maternal figure in your life - because of a lack of support. Or you’ve had to in order to grow. This has hurt you and you’re healing, but a break from this person has been needed.

What’s going on in June:

6 Swords:

Whether current or past, you made a decision to move away from negative attitudes, judgements (which repeat), possessive guarding or someone you felt was trying to hold you back or talk you down from a dream of yours. I don’t normally get such a strong vibe off of 4 Pentacles, but this person just had nothing nice to say about something you cherished deeply and hoped for, for the future. Because of this, you left them behind, maybe literally, 6 Wands can be moving or travel. There is unfinished business here with The World rev, so this could have been sudden or things just weren’t properly communicated when the ties were severed. They may have had plenty to say, but you didn’t.

The World rev:

King of Pentacles can be the specific person you’ve left behind, if not a mother figure of some kind. Could be both parents. If there was an issue with a Mom, maybe Dad does not fully understand the dynamics between you or what went wrong. This could simply show you having held back from a dream for awhile due to money, a job, something along those lines, but the dream itself never changed…just got delayed. You don’t seem to have much support in whatever you’re chasing, so you’ve resigned to going at it alone, and ending relationships with those you deem negative people or influences in your life.

The Empress:

Your mom may not like your person, their mom doesn’t like you, or that could be switched if yours is single/remarried, pick your situation. The Empress doesn’t even have to be a person, or it can be Libra’s energy. Judgement clarifying in this case shows you having reviewed your entire life and experience up to this point in order to make the most beneficial decision for you moving forward. That decision is The Fool, jumping into something brand new, this thing that inspires you that you’ve dreamt of for who knows how long. Maybe even saved up for, this has been your goal for much longer than June. If someone else is judging you, they’re refusing to help you and are seeing you very negatively, there’s no support from them. If this is your energy, then you’re focused on your own personal growth, no matter who supports you or doesn’t. Though 4 Swords shows it having hurt you, any conflicts have.

Strength:

You hold yourself back from nostalgia, you try not to think about this person at all. Or you could realize this person has always held back from genuinely showing you affection or acting supportive, they could also be judging your partner or your relationship. Doesn’t really matter what they’re judging, just that they are, and because of that you don’t try to reconcile.

2 Cups:

This card is love, followed by more love, both of these cards are soulmate energies. Or a deeply felt soul tie if nothing else. If love is what someone has held back, support, love, positivity, cheering you on, that’s an issue. If this is due to someone not liking someone’s partner, that could explain the unfinished business that clearly still exists, even if it’s just something unfinished in yourself. If you’re guilting yourself over healing a connection, was it one of love & support, where you were giving and they were not? 6 Pentacles rev shows a lack in reciprocity, things being one sided, that’s what’s been judged. 2 Cups and The Lovers have mutual love in common. Some of you are holding back from love right now, because you have choices, and aren’t interested in any level of competition. Some of you don’t like your parent’s person, or that’s switched. Either way I see this break period as being necessary, and you’ve come a long way in that time. At some point, you can’t care what others think, you have to embody The Empress - growth, knowing your worth and what you will and won’t tolerate in your own life. People won’t always agree with it, but it’s inevitable. Real love supports this. In your meditation, which was very short and to the point, you were watching a blazing sunset 🌅 and an instrumental version of “Only Time” by Enya…I think, was playing in the background, so I expected an ending of some sort. Your dreams are separate from this situation, and you don’t need permission to have them 💜

Signs you may be dealing with:

Libra, Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, Taurus & Capricorn

Oracles: ✨

73 Timing

If you are in the creative flow you feel everything flowing together in Divine Order.

3 Share

To help you make progress, it’s a good idea to share what you have and what you care about.

23 Forgiveness 😌

It has been said forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves - forgiveness of others, but also forgiveness of self. We are the most critical and judgmental of ourselves. This inner critic does so much more harm than criticism that comes from others. Forgive yourself for trusting others and getting hurt, for not knowing, for not seeing, for not believing. You are human and you are growing and learning. Human perfection is rooted in imperfection. This card indicates the need for forgiveness in the situation asked about.

We enter into June as:

Geranium 🌺:

“This is another beginning.”

What appears to be an end may not be one after all. Often situations that generate our greatest fears turn into remarkable opportunities. It’s time to let go of the past, and trust that whatever is coming is better than what you’ve known to this point. You are ready to begin again. A new opportunity is coming from a place you don’t expect. There is a regeneration of some kind going on. Whatever you were pulled away from in the past was for the purpose of bringing you to a higher place. It’s time for whatever has been dormant to bloom again. Trust there is a higher plan. This is truly an exciting time.

What is to be learned in June:

She Shaman 🧝🏾‍♀️

“I will guide you to your muse.”

She Shaman whispers to you “Do not be like the old birch and wait for anyone else to tell you of your muse. Connect with it!” This is your destiny calling. The path you have chosen is an artistic one. The universe is waiting for you to begin your dance and express your love in a tangible art form. The time is now, the moment has arrived, it is a time for decisions to be made. Dance! Rejoice! Do not seek council outside of yourself to confirm what you know to be true inside. Do not wait for permission to act. You must trust your instinct and act from the voice within. Let go of any need for approval, your answers are within. You will not be alone, Spirit is with you.

Purple/Wine may be a lucky color 💜

[alienjoyful]

I normally try not to say much on other peoples posts, call that the shy part of me still having a strangle hold BUT this post resonates deeply in a way I can’t ignore.

I love to write dumb fun stuff. I have been writing dumb fun stuff since I was a child always with the tiny dream of someday writing a book and getting it published. When I was a little girl and said as much people would encourage me to try.

But I noticed that with each passing year of me getting older the encouragements got quieter and quieter. What started as:

“Oh you want to be a writer? Im sure you’ll succeed just keep giving it your best shot!”

“You’ve always been so creative I’m sure you’ll write something amazing!”

“Oh? What genres interest you? Id love to hear your ideas!”

Slowly over many years became:

“Well its hard to get published you know. And even if you do you’ll never make enough money to live on.”

“You want to write something in the fantasy genre? And for kids? Don’t you know how much competition you have? What you think you can compete with Harry Potter?”

“Im not telling you to give up I just don’t think your being very smart or realistic. You need to grow up and realize this will never pay the bills.”

“No one is going to read it, people don’t read anymore.”

Even if I told them I didn’t need it to make money id do it for the satisfaction, even if I tried to show I was being ‘realistic’ I got eye rolls and tired sighs.

When I started doing Twitch streams with my now Partner for fun to show off games we liked and do voice acting. I got a barrage of unsolicited free ‘advice’ telling me again to be ‘realistic’ to accept that it would never go anywhere. That it was a saturated market, that I wasn’t anything special or different. It didn’t matter that I just did it for fun they felt the need to shove there cynicism down my throat and call it love.

Recently, I decided to try out 2DVtubing. Why? Because it seemed fun, and I like streaming, thats it. Even without a following I’ve found streaming to be a positive experience for all these years, because sometimes new people I’ve never met who love the game I or my partner are playing show up in chat. And for that brief time we talk, we joke, they help with a level or tricky boss and all I hope is for that fleeting time that there paths crossed mine, I made them laugh or smile.

My closest friends have been positive about my streaming and my new Vtuber. In fact without the encouragement / seeing @thegalleonsnest do the 2D-tubing thing first with his lil bird guy I probably would not have done it for many more years.

But even with those Im closest to being positive, I still hear and get those nasty cynical comments on the regular. I want to say that I can ignore them, that they have 0 effect on me. But Im only human and we can only deal with so much cynical bullshit.

Maybe theres something here to be said about societal hopelessness, about how tired and beaten down we all feel from years of financial hardships and the growing chokehold of capitalism while were screamed at about our planet burning. Maybe watching so many big shot ‘influencers’ turn out to be bad people who go unpunished makes it all feel pointless. Maybe the never ending stream of bad news, deaths, war, and bombs makes us feel powerless and trapped.

Maybe life is hard and we feel the need to tell others to ‘be realistic’ as a way of trying to save them from further hardship and heartbreak down the road. Maybe…

But personally I just can’t agree with that kind of mindset. Life is hard, capitalism sucks, bad people sometimes succeed, were all tired, and yes alone we may be small and weak. But thats no reason to give up or stop or to be a cynical asshole!

Keep going! Make that podcast! Stream that game! Write that book! Make that music! Write that letter! Make that group! Join that team! Get that new job! Start that new business! Go join that club! Learn that new skill!

Do that thing others told you was pointless. Do it messy, do it imperfect, do it despite the fear, do it knowing you might fail. Do it anyway.

Just try. I know its hard I know your tired. But just try. You never know what you’ll learn or experience from just trying. I haven’t written or published a book yet but I’m still trying. And streaming despite everyone telling me it was pointless got me a whole ass husband.

So trust me when I say. Just try.

I don't think many people realize how much they've been turned into a bunch of casually cynical jerks.

Someone may come to their parents and say "I want to write a book" and their parents will say "it's really hard to get published".

Someone might confide in their sibling and say "I want to sell my art on "x" platform" and that sibling will say "do you know how many people you'd be competing with? Do you know how many shops are even on that platform?"

I know a kid who once told his best friend "I think I wanna start a dnd podcast" and the friend was like "do you know what the word "oversaturation" means?"

Personally, I don't know why any of that matters? And even if it did, perhaps your response should be "Do it! Do it and see where it goes!"

[mi4011sayakagunasekara]

Interview with Irushi Tennekoon

I had the opportunity to do a physical face to face interview with Irushi, to which i asked a series of questions that would be asked to both animators. i had recorded the interview along with using website to transcribe the entire file.

As it is my first time interviewing someone i was indeed nervous however due to Irushi's accommodating nature i somehow managed to even include follow up questions from her answers (that were not part of the questionnaire) and often times there is brief interactions on little bloopers.

Yet what i had realized that Irushi's personality really did shine through this interview and i gained a lot of insight of her personality through this interview.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/192TRA46aCtP7oZSBlsApQPFcHDzitMSy/view?usp=drive_link

interview (online-audio-converter.com).mp3

Automatically transcribed by Speechnotes on: 3/22/2024, 12:54:13 PM

Total recording length: 00:42:19

Me: { 0:01 }

Thanks. So yes, I've had a series of questions with SO. Some some questions have like predetermined answers to them. So it's like a four choice questions. But yeah, and then depending on your answer, that would be a separate question to that.

Irushi:  { 0:18 }

It's more like.

Me:  { 0:18 }

A follow up.

Irushi:  { 0:19 }

Question so.

Me:  { 0:19 }

That's helpful. OK. So my first question is that, was your family ever supportive for your decision to pursue art as a career?

Irushi:  { 0:31 }

So I mean, I have a bit of a strange story, I think because I first didn't pursue art. I studied literature, and then I've been taught to teach English. For a long time.  Art was something I was doing as a hobby and like so it didn't really feel like a career even though I was actually doing maybe even getting paid more for my artwork than teaching English.

{ 0:56 }

So because of that there was no judgement because I think they anyway thought that I had this so-called steady career or being a university lecturer and teaching English. Yeah, so that's, but at the same time, they are not the kind of people who will ever hold back. You know, like when I said I wanted to go and last year was the first time I really went to an art school and I did a masters in animation. So there was definitely no holding back or anything of that sense. They have been very supportive, Yeah.

Me:  { 1:27 }

So like, what was the reaction towards your entire success?

Irushi :  { 1:32 }

I don't think they know what they do really. But I mean, I mean they are quite supportive. They would definitely come for my exhibitions. They would, in that way, they would be quite supportive. I'm thinking of in terms of my parents and that sort of thing. But of course, my partner and all that, they're very supportive.   Yeah. Yeah. That's was a question. I lost the question. Yeah. Yeah.

Me:  { 2:00 }

So the session is, are you the first person in your family to pursue art oriented?

Irushi:  { 2:06 }

In my immediate family, yes. The closest would be my paternal grandfather who was an architect, so he used to draw a lot and growing up I saw him doing these beautiful sketches and all that. I do have an aunt who I'm not really close to, who is again a like quite a prominent artist in Sri Lanka. But I didn't grow up close to her, so I wouldn't call her really an influence. I got to appreciate know her work and appreciate her work much later. Yeah, so I'm.

Me:  { 2:33 }

Assuming so, like was it so I'm assuming that you are the first person in your immediate family that is exactly.

Irushi:  { 2:39 }

So.

Me:  { 2:41 }

Was it like a very, like, daunting part because you're starting something new without much guidance from relatives, and family really. Was it, like, very daunting?

Irushi:  { 2:50 }

Absolutely. I mean, so I used to do comics and draw a lot in school.

{ 2:55 }

And then I had two school friends who made a Facebook page for my work, want to share my work. And then people started saying can I get you to custom to draw, custom sort of drawing. And that's how it really started. So. So that was really scary for me that people wanted to pay and get me to do something that I was doing for fun. Anyway, so that beginning. And I didn't know how much to charge. I didn't even know who was doing this kind of thing to ask them how to do it.  So that was just starting out as an illustrator and then starting out animation as a whole other sort of scary thing to Am I even good enough to really do this? Am I doing the right thing? So there were lots of there's lots of doubt and lots of voices in my head that I had to quieten down before pursuing this.

Me:  { 3:43 }

And like, since you've also, like mentioned, like your paternal grandfather and your aunt as well, there's also there's like a standard because you know, like how Sri Lankans often compare relatives to like you. So there's also a certain standard. Was that standard ever imposed?

Irushi:  { 3:57 }

On you.

Me:  { 3:57 }

This is a constant comparison.

Irushi:  { 4:00 }

Not really. I mean not by anyone else. That would definitely be my own sort of putting pressure on myself to to create something that was meaningful, that was pushing myself in terms of skill, in terms of so not from anyone else. I don't think anyone else has put pressure on me saying to do something better or to be like somebody or to aspire to be like somebody.

Me:  { 4:24 }

So it's more like a self-standard

Irushi:  { 4:26 }

Absolutely, Yeah. So that pressure is still there, but it's just definitely coming for myself and no one else, Yeah.

Me:  { 4:32 }

So next question is like, did you ever feel like giving up your career as an animator and pursuing something else that's different, there are four options? Like, definitely yes, definitely sometimes, then no to a certain extent, and then definitely no.

Irushi:  { 4:47 }

For me, because animation is something that is so time consuming it's so tiring. I like to switch. I don't think I'm ever going to sorry, I'm just.

Me:  { 4:57 }

Going.

Irushi: { 4:58 }

To leave my computer? Yeah, yeah. So because it's just really time consuming and really sort of an exhausting kind of thing to do. The end result is always worth it. But that effort it takes is more than anything I've ever done. So I not that I necessarily want to switch stop animation, but I want I like switching between things. I like switching between animation and illustration projects or animation. And now I've taken a photography, doing a photography class. So then for me, taking, going out for a walk, taking photographs, coming back, editing it, seeing this end result in a day is this quick satisfaction as opposed to animation which takes weeks or months to see the final result.  So that's my answer. I would say not to necessarily stop animation, but I need breaks for it. So I switch between animation and a few other things just to get that mental sort of break and recover and come back.

Me :  { 5:53 }

I'm assuming that's how you overcome this hurdle by this side, not focus like basically having like to get out of this mental block you need to like have like other stimuli.

Irushi:  { 6:03 }

Absolutely, so that you just don't definitely stop.

Me:  { 6:06 }

So like how would you exactly, how would you like describe your artistic style? And like other than it being experimental and like you trying out different mediums, how would you describe it? And like, who has it been really inspired by? Like artists like on the.

Irushi:  { 6:21 }

Creator Yeah, I mean inspiration wise. For the longest time I was really not looking at our own stories from Sri Lanka. I was looking at, I was reading Western books. I grew up reading, you know, The Enid Blytons and the Quentin Blake books illustrated by Sorry, the Roald Dahl books illustrated by Quentin Blake. So I was very much informed by that style, and I tried to almost copy that into an extent because it's a sister style. That gave me a lot of joy.  But it was much later that I started looking at the local films, the local artists, looking at people like Sybil Wettasinghe.    Who else would a local artist be?

{ 6:58 }

And just in general growing in a appreciation for artists of the 43rd group and you know, like the the 43 group and all these other local artists. And I was trying to see what were they doing because they were also inspired by Western sort of art movements. But then they looked at how is it applicable to our country and to our region. So that was sort of a turning point for me to look at, even animation. There's so much happening around the world, but what can we tell through animation about stories from where I'm from, how can I show character, and I mean in terms of an artistic style also, I think that would be it. I would try to represent something that's true to, you know, that's close to home or in terms of appearance. And that would come down to the most minute sort of decisions of using the kinds of clay I would use to make a puppet. I would use maybe say instead of the like the light color thing.

{ 7:56 }

I would purposely make it a little more brown color to to actually show Sri Lankan with brown skin. So it's it came down to those choices. And even with illustration, I used to just draw white people, you know, because that's that was just what I had absorbed and it was a real turning point to say let's draw Sri Lankans and Sri Lankans look.

Me: { 8:17 }

If I'm not mistaken, I think you had interacted with Sybil Wettasinghe. What was the interaction?

Irushi:  { 8:24 }

With her. So that was for me, like this surreal moment, having grown up with her books, having become an artist, because she had already done that and she had created a part for artists. I think she hadn't done that. We would all still be in quite a lot of darkness, I would think.  And it's all these women who have created paths that make it easier for someone like me to walk the path. And then I feel like maybe by me figuring stuff out on my own, it would be easier for people like you who want to walk the path, you know?

{ 8:56 }

So it's it becomes easier with each generation for me to meet her and to make that film and to show it to her just before she died. She was already almost 92 when I met her.  That was just like, OK, I have paid my tribute. I have given back to the woman who has given so much to me and so many others, such as that sort of very emotional kind of connection with her, yeah.

Me:  { 9:23 }

And next thing is if this this question is like, I would say like a different like like different animators particularly have like very different opinions about this, but this is what I want to know

Irushi:  { 9:35 }

Put you all know, Yeah.

Me:  { 9:36 }

So is having a good understanding and skill within the foundation of art, which is the elements and the principles of art essential to creating good animations?

Irushi:  { 9:50 }

I think to start you don't need to know it, but then to tell better stories, obviously if you are better with the technique and invest your time really learning those principles, the story is you can tell, become better. Yeah, but what I realized was last year, I spent the year in London and I I happened to go to the London Animation Festival, which is an annual festival that takes place. And a lot of the films that were selected were experimental. They were not sticking by these principles, they were almost breaking them. But what I also realized was to break the rules, you need to know the rules, you know? So it was, it's that sort of thing. To be experimental doesn't mean just working in the dark. I think you need to keep educating yourself. You need to learn, keep pushing yourself to learn. And then push yourself to break the rules and be expect mental, yeah?

Me:  { 10:44 }

So I was like, Im assuming you’re saying like yes to a certain extent.

Irushi:  { 10:48 }

Yeah,

Me:  { 10:49 }

When you like apply these foundations to to animation like how would you make it animation better necessarily and do you have any like work in mind?

Irushi:  { 10:59 }

Of work that follows principles well and does things well.   I mean I suppose those old school like the tech savory, the Bugs Bunny like films and then you have the the Disney is that sort of created the principles, right. They studied from life because animation means you need to study whole variety of subjects from physics to anatomy to so many things and they were kind of The Pioneers of that I think of making of studying it and creating the rules of almost but who do I look up to and are they necessarily good? Was that the question was, was that the question whether they're necessarily?

Me:  { 11:44 }

No, but you can also tell.

Irushi :  { 11:46 }

Yeah, I mean, I mean, those are some of the animators that I grew up watching and they're so seamless, right? When you're watching it, you don't even think that it's drawn frame by frame or anything like that.  But where is now?

{ 11:59 }

Somehow there is more value given to more authentic handmade. You know where even stop motion, where you see the clay animation and you see the sort of thumbprints on it or you see the medium that's used. If it's paint on glass or something, you would see that it's painted and that it's getting smudged out each frame. So there is a certain value that's now given to that, which is again, not breaking the rules, but it's again, making your own set of rules and playing, expanding the mediums with which you can elevate. So yeah,

Me:  { 12:33 }

Is there an Animator who you Like essentially like look up to.

Irushi :  { 12:38 }

To look up to and so many guys, have you heard of Lotte Reiniger who was one of the first animators to use a multiplayer and meaning sort of layers of glass and to film from above and she did these silhouette animations in paper cut out. So that's that's that's one.

{ 12:58 }

Then there is sort of a more contemporary animate based in London called Lazy Hobbs, Elizabeth Hobbs, she's incredible.  I love because she works with ink and sort of paint splattered and that sort of big abstract kind of animation. And then one of my own lecturers from last year, Doctor Samantha Moore, she is again, it's not that perfect sort of animation that you would expect from the people who made the rules in animation, but she is somebody who collaborates, makes this very interesting collaboration. Her previous work, she had collaborated with scientists, she had looked at various rare diseases and she animates to bring those to life.  So not just in terms of who is a good animator, but who is doing really interesting work through animation. That's sort of the thing that also inspires me.  Yeah. Last year I think she was nominated for a BAFTA.

{ 13:52 }

She had worked with patients who have different illnesses, who have cancer and all that and who are sort of knitting as a therapy. So it was all about knitting and the film puppets were knitted puppets, like puppets that were knitted by so many people from community centers and all that. So it was a hugely community based kind of film project.  So that's the kind of thing I'm interested in, not just studying the roles and make this perfect, beautiful animation, but how do you tell these imperfect stories that are out there? And how is animation a suitable medium to. Because it's such a fluid medium, It's such a malleable medium. It can, you can use so many different, like different materials You can use. You can tell different kinds of stories. You can go from absolutely narrative to absolutely abstract, so you can such a huge variety of things you can do through animation. So, yeah, those are the things that I'm interested in, yeah.

Me:  { 14:49 }

The next question is Like how important is software and VFX to create an impactful animation

Irushi: { 14:58 }

I mean, again, I personally do like doing things hands on to really feel like getting my hands dirty, and that's something. So when I work digitally, the satisfaction for me personally is less. But I know that in terms of what the world needs, we do need digital animation, we do need VFX, we do need animators who can produce things quickly and who can adapt the technology and all that.  It depends again on what he's trying to tell through animation. So, and you need all kinds of different people looking in all kinds of different fields too.  Like, I would never say everybody should only do stop motion or everybody should move on to AI or everybody should move on to to VFX or something like that. It's you really have to be flexible and you have to see what does the world need and what we have to learn to be able to deliver that, who has to be working in those fields.

{ 15:54 }

So yeah, there's some sort of broad questions to ask about rather than saying it's overly good or overly bad, it's a little more what's the problem with dealing with that, I think that's a question we need to ask. Yeah, but.

Me:  { 16:08 }

So like, I think that's like, as I've gone through your work, like I've noticed that in especially in like a series like animators and like you're very much a narrator and all of your words doing corporate love narrate narration, experimentation in different mediums,

Me:  { 16:27 }

So how Essential is a story.

Irushi:  { 16:30 }

Creating animations, I mean I think story is needed even. So basically you would have films that are narrative or non narrative and non narrative would be more abstract. But I feel like even non narrative when you watch an abstract film you will still create those river the patterns and film form that we sort of talk about in your mind. You will still make the patterns, you will still make a story right? So story even if you want it to be there or not.

{ 16:59 }

I think as human beings we are constantly looking for stories. We are connecting the dots and making stories.   So that is, I don't know, it's such a natural sort of thing. But at the same time, there are some people who do it better than others, you know, so it's and it's an advantage. So the reason I think that we were also commissioned to do this film at the MMCA, did you get a chance to see it? The architectural documentary. So that also was not because we were brilliant animators or anything like that. It was mainly because of how we collaborated with different subject experts and how we managed to stitch a story together from something that seemed like there was no story. It was a situation that seemed like it was so far away, so removed from all of us, but we managed to see the relevance of it and connected as a story. So storytelling could be crucial, I think, for an artist in any media, in any medium, and you need to be able to articulate that story.

{ 17:56 }

So many artists don't get discovered or stay in the dark for too long when they can't articulate that vision of them. It doesn't have to be a story in a film, even if it's telling your own life story. You have to be able to articulate it as an artist. And that's the only way I think, that you really start doing meaningful work. You start being appreciated for your work. The more you can articulate who you are, where you come from, how do you sort of identify yourself? How are you rooted to this earth? How are you removed from how you feel like an alien sometimes. So those stories, if you can tell, then people start relating to you, they start investing in you and in your career grows there also. So storytelling is important, not just filming, I think, yeah.

Me:  { 18:43 }

So is it?  Is it necessary to have a balance of both or would they play a more dominant role in terms of VFX and storytelling? Would one play a more dominant role or would they have to balance each other to make an impactful animation?

Irushi:  { 19:00 }

What's the connection again about VFX? Meaning the actual VFX, the actual.

Me:  { 19:05 }

VFX and software, so like special effects and stuff like that.

Irushi:  { 19:10 }

I mean VFX would be a tool in the same way for me, in the same way that clay is a tool to a stop motion animator, AI would be the would be a tool in the same way that a laptop is to a writer, you know, and then what do you do with it? You need that human creativity to come and say this is what I want you to do.  This is where I wanted to make most sense and serve the community almost.  So you do need the story.

Me:  { 19:43 }

1st so yeah, so you see the.

Irushi:  { 19:46 }

Foundation. It becomes the foundation, exactly. A story would mean that there is a character, there's a plot, there's an audience.

{ 19:55 }

And then you, whether it's VFX or any other medium at all, even an oil painting then you sort of. Figure out what am I trying to tell, and then you use the medium to tell that story.  Without a story, it would just be an abstract tool. That's like, it's almost like a, I don't know, like a screwdriver or a hammer that's hanging around in a garage. You know, like once you start having a purpose, you want to build something and you take it out, then there's a use for it.

Me:  { 20:26 }

So like so like we're going to look into my animation. So when we when we look into the animation industry in general and how it's still growing rapidly even here in Sri Lanka.

Me:  { 20:37 }

What are the Upsides and the downsides you have experienced within this industry.

Irushi:  { 20:42 }

In the industry. So I mean because Sri Lanka doesn't necessarily have an industry or we are still really just shaping up as an industry, I would say, I feel like I have very much been an outsider because I am working on my own.

{ 20:59 }

I am not really working on commercial. I have also any commercial projects. No, I mean, I didn't do this one thing for Candix, this handling place for their 50th anniversary, but again, they, they were family friends, so it didn't feel like a commercial project for me.   So I have very much been at the outside of industry because I've also been working, you know, like I've got grants from charities or from trusts like British Council or something like that.  So I have been working on very personal projects and very almost educational projects, more than commercial projects, more than for advertisements, more than for product designer selling products or anything like that.

{ 21:44 }

But in the world, I mean definitely if you go to countries that have bigger budgets for this sort of thing, they are doing amazing things like the animation studios itself, like Aardman and all these big stop motion studios themselves because they have the facility, they are hired to do commercials and they do brilliant commercials. Like As for a smaller studio like me, I would, I don't think I'll have the capacity to do a commercial with the budget, especially with the kinds of budgets that they might have, like they might have a certain amount of money but it won't make sense with the amount of time it takes. For me, I'll need to get a team, I'll need to get the materials.  So in smaller countries, in smaller industries, it's a lot harder to to do it. But it, I don't know. Like, there's a lot of hope because there's so many people are studying animation and going out and it's just about to start booming. I think if everyone sort of works in this proposition, yeah.

Me:  { 22:41 }

Have you had any like bad experiences as I can throughout your entire animation? Like creator, career as animator, whatever. You're like bad experiences with like.

Irushi:  { 22:52 }

Bad experiences as an animator.

{ 22:56 }

The only thing would be that nobody really understands how type because especially for me as a stop motion animator, people don't understand the time commitment that it takes. Because you're not just doing a 2D sort of animation where you draw and make it move and add the color and the sound it stop motion. There is a whole side of figuring out how to fabricate, figuring out how to physically light your objects and light your set. Then you are filming it frame by frame. Between each frame there's a couple of minutes at least That goes to sort of change whatever you want to change in your subject or in the background or something, yeah. So it's just that that people don't really get the time factor and I feel like they expect a quick delivery on things and that sort of thing. That would be that negative thing, but.

Me:  { 23:49 }

So I'm assuming this is more like on a The business aspect, exactly. Where it has to do with clientele

Irushi:  { 23:58 }

Yeah, in a personal, personal aspect, I mean, I have had people saying that my public that their children can make puppets the way I make puppets, you know, that sort of thing. Yeah. So that sort of thing has come out. But also if they say that, my reaction is always that's amazing. Get your children to make the puppets. You know, get your children to start doing this.   So that sort of thing. Because I don't really go to too much towards making something perfect. And we did try to do something perfect, which was the Minette puppet, that is now that MMCA. So before that puppet we made another puppet made out of like a Barbie Dolls body because we wanted it to be like this. Very petite to be pretty sort of Minette.  But for me, I just couldn't like, I couldn't. Is it done or not? The noise? Yeah, no, for that, the minute puppet that we made with the Barbie doll, body just didn't stick.

{ 24:58 }

I just wasn't satisfied with it because I prefer that kind of imperfect, you know, that tells us more about what we really are as human. Yeah, we are not. I don't know, like we are filled with imperfection. And it's sort of really lovely to be able to celebrate that as a very normal thing.  So I think that's also what I try to do with, with the puppets being really awkward looking and their bodies being really not perfect bodies.   It's just sort of a celebration of human beings are really on blogs, you know, like it's really just, I don't know. For me, that's exciting to explore rather than making something that's very powerful like or very perfect like very smooth and perfect. Yeah, so.

Me:  { 25:47 }

Speaking of Minette and I remember you, you had also come around with this architect event with Sumeda and Sumudu and had done a curator role and basically if I'm not mistaken you had said like when Minette was in Sri Lanka there was really little to no semblance

Irushi:  { 26:09 }

Of idea of any form of Sri Lankan identity in that like any especially like architecture because it's based from other countries

Me:  { 26:19 }

Due to colonialism, so especially what you say in animation in the animation industry we still trying to get like a foothold or what are identities like. So how would you say like what would you say like is the Sri Lankan identity for animation still building and how difficult was it for you to get that?

Irushi:  { 26:39 }

Identity okay. So I think with Minette when she went to London and she studied and then she came back after independence she knew was somebody. When you read her writing, she knew exactly what her identity was. She knew how to dress, she knew how to, you know, get peoples attention in a qay.

{ 26:58 }

She knew what was going on in the country, she knew what was going on in the world. She was very politically aware. And when she came back she applied that same sort of confidence into architecture saying we are, yeah, we are now a post independent nation. What does that mean? Right. So when the British were here, what was architecture in in Ceylon when the British left, what is the possibility of architecture? What's architecture that's happening in the country with modernity and what are the other people, what are the artists, what are the film makers doing to make to sort of create this local language of things?  And she looked at how to do it through architecture, which was going back to pre colonial times and looking at how architecture happened in our villages and what is our vernacular.  So she was very, very confident in that.

{ 27:55 }

And I feel like that is also like an inspiration for me to say we can make a Sri Lankan sort of animation. But what I've seen now is through my like, especially the L6, the first, let's say the first interaction I had with the students, it's just one student who is doing a Sri Lankan themed kind of very no 2. Is it two? Yeah. Two who are set in Colombo are set in Sri, one is set in Colombo, one is set in a village. So the others, all the other students are mainly looking at very, very Western, sort of inspired by Western and also almost set in Western locations.   And I have come in a little too late I think to to to make to make that change. But so that was interesting for me. That because I think if somebody, if I didn't realize, I would still be drawing like Quentin Blake, I would still be drawing like these Western books and stuff that I that I looked at.

{ 28:58 }

So there was something I'm not too sure about. But there was this sudden switch that went that went on saying we have our own stories, we don't need to really look outward.    So that's what it is. I think Minette is very aware. I am learning how to be aware and I think through my teaching I hope that maybe I'll be able to inspire students also to look at. Yes, there's a lot to learn from outside, but we also have a lot of stories to tell here. We don't really. Let's let's try and look at some of our stories first and then try and tell stories about outside.  Yeah, so.

Me:  { 29:37 }

That's the topic of Sri Lankan identity as well. Was it? Was it difficult for you to like develop that? Really because as you mentioned before, it did take a bit of time.

{ 29:47 }

And as you are research as well, is it difficult for you to get inspiration especially from like topics about Sri Lanka, about our extensive history and also because we have several taboos as well that we don't really discuss. Easy, isn't it? Like, very daunting for you. But how do you feel when you take on those stories?

Irushi:  { 30:06 }

I mean, it's very like it can easily become overwhelming, overwhelming that there's too much to tell. There are too many silenced narratives. There are too many overlooked narratives. How can I tell all these stories? But I think the more productive thing to do is that to say I'm going to look at this very small thing and tell this very small story, and hopefully I'll create a blueprint or a part for someone else who's interested to come. They can pick up another story and tell. So that's how I'm looking at it, because otherwise it's very easy to think I'm not doing enough about the war. I'm not doing enough about the aragalaya. I'm not doing enough about all these families of who have disappeared, people after the war or or the corruption that's going on or ocean pollution or, you know, there are so many things and I'm just one person.

{ 30:58 }

So it's just a matter of, I think, really framing my mind to think I'm going to create a blueprint. I think that is the more productive way of looking at it. And then somebody else adds up to that, and then you just start.

Me:  { 31:11 }

More like a web.

Irushi:  { 31:12 }

Exactly, yeah.

Me:  { 31:15 }

So, so another thing which is so like your first project was the about the 83 riots.  So as first because when you thought it as like a project and then you look today because when you were going through Wikipedia you realized there's a lot of one sided narrative.

Irushi:  { 31:28 }

Yeah.

Me:  { 31:29 }

When you actually learned about what actually happened, especially from like from like your grandparents or it's like, how was that feeling when you realize what really happened?

Irushi:  { 31:38 }

How did that? I mean, for me, I had grown up hearing these stories about 83 from my parents and my grandparents and from not too sure. Lots of people would just talk about the Baldiya incident. That is such a normal thing to go up and go up to a person and say ‘meka mokadda?’ and you know?

{ 31:55 }

And for me, I think the flip there happened. I was doing a research for my I was doing MA like a master's in English. And for one of my assignments, for my master's, we had to look at the Wikipedia page of 83 and to look at who has written this. What are the narratives here? What are the narratives you don’t hear, whose voices are allowed to be heard, whose are silent?  And there I was thinking, we have never acknowledged this as Sinhalese people. So that's where the idea of the film came. Let's try and look at it from a sinhalese person's perspective. Are they just going about their day as if nothing happened or are there any, say anyone who was actually part of the violence who wakes up and acknowledges it. So that was sort of the thought process behind 83’. And yeah, yeah, that was that's, that's how that how that came about again. And then that also was, with Sumudu and sumeda about and so we sort of drew and cut out and animated it together on my phone.  Yeah, yeah.

{ 32:58 }

Was that the question or that was?

Me:  { 33:00 }

The question because I was wondering like what's like because it is like a very horrifying Truth that we don't really talk.

Me:  { 33:06 }

About and that it is like and like how you mentioned that it is like a form of your responsibility now you're going to interpret the scene right. So I was wondering like, oh, how did you take it on?

Irushi:  { 33:17 }

That's right. Yeah. So it was very much that of what if we flip the narrative rather than saying Sinhalese people killed, Are Sinhalese people regretting it? Or that it happened? Because it's not. Again, we don't discuss it in a educational context. It's only artists who, if at all, wouldn't talk about it, right in exhibitions and all the time in Saskia, Fernando Gallery has the artist in. But there are a couple of artists who do annually who do exhibitions on 83. Close to July, yeah.  And.

Me:  { 33:57 }

Like your entire experience as being an animator. How? How do you describe your journey as animated and how it has impacted your personality?

Irushi:  { 34:05 }

As well, I think I mean personality wise, I may have become a lot more patient because of how long animation takes.   I've also realized that you really need to, and I have done a very bad job of this, but you need to be quite healthy and be quite fit to be an animator because you're on your feet. And I have really disregarded this, but I'm getting back on track or trying to.  But you really need to be very fit to be an animator, so that health is important. I think I've realized for anyone, even not a stop motion animated, but for artists in general you overlook that I think.

Irushi:  { 34:46 }

What else has it done to my personality? I think by just doing things that I didn't know I was.

Me:  { 34:52 }

Able to.

Irushi:  { 34:53 }

Do that has given me this confidence of even thinking like last year I wanted to apply for the scholarship and study animation and even that thought of I can do this. I'm quite late in my life to study go out for Masters but I still want to do it and I can do it. I think that Go getter sort of personality also has come by by this sort of animation so.

Me:  { 35:18 }

It's like never too late.

Irushi:  { 35:20 }

Absolutely. It's never too late to try something. I mean because I and also you go into uni, I mean you're studying animation now?

Irushi:  { 35:27 }

But in a couple of years you might think that you want to be a musician or you know like who knows? You really you just have to go with the flow. That's another thing I would say. You really have to go to figure out your strengths and where you're needed, find that gap and then you will fit in. And you think, I mean, yeah, you need to be flexible to to to know where you needed, what you good at. And that happens by just putting yourself out there and trying new things, constantly trying new things.  Yeah, that's.

{ 35:57 }

So now you're going to take 20 seconds from this, or 30 seconds from this and animate it from the recording.

Me:  { 36:03 }

Basically, from the information I gave from me, I have to come up with a new plotline. OK, so it's kind of different because I remember like watching like animator series and like how you take like a little bit of interview, yeah.

Irushi:  { 36:15 }

So those interviews were about one hour long and.

Me:  { 36:19 }

Two more questions.

Irushi:  { 36:20 }

OK.

Me:  { 36:21 }

So is there anything, so looking back on your journey as animator, is there anything you would have done differently?

Irushi:  { 36:28 }

If I go back on my journey.

Me:  { 36:29 }

If you like, look back. Is there anything?

Irushi:  { 36:34 }

I mean, the only thing I could possibly say is that I wish I studied animation without studying English, but I don't say that, and I don't believe that because I think that gave me another sort of strength and another skill.  I mean, doing a bachelor's in English means reading. I can't even remember how many novels and how many short stories and how many poems each semester each term. And that really shaped the way I look at the world.

{ 37:00 }

Just learning from so many vast kind of areas and vast, like from South Africa to to Nigeria to, you know, Latin America to you read so much that you would for me, I would never have the drive to read all that. If I was doing another discipline to read for enjoyment, I don't think I'll push myself to that extreme. So it is that sort of knowledge about the world. How do different people tell stories about their own communities? How do the languages that they speak shape the stories that they say? So there was a lot of insight from that. So I don't think I'll change.  Yeah, I don't think I'll change.  Yeah, go back and want to change.        If at all. It would be just spending more time researching and learning the basics, the principles, which I could do on my own. It would definitely be that. And I'm still doing that.

{ 37:58 }

You know, whenever I get a chance, I do experiment and try to teach myself something new. But yeah, yeah.

Me:  { 38:04 }

Your background in English as well has also contribute to like like you say, like a lot of aspects of being an animator.

Irushi:  { 38:11 }

The yeah, I mean a lot of being an artist in general. Like I said, it's this factor of articulating, it's being able to speak effectively to a client. It's being able to like right now I'm doing a project with Peradeniya University and it's again with their veterinary faculty. So they want to do something based on antibiotic resistance at a very scientific sort of topic. But even that for me to be able to do research and I need to create a book, a comic, I think, yeah. So I mean that is the English background coming to say I can read up, I can do my research and I can write a story, I can write an effective story is again with that confidence of the literature background. So it's it's really a mix of, yeah.

Me:  { 39:00 }

So, so like you gave a lot of inspirations, different stories you hear or is it?

Irushi:  { 39:09 }

The inspiration for.

Me:  { 39:10 }

To create an animation.

Irushi:  { 39:14 }

It's from all over. It could be things I have watched. It could be conversations I've had with people.     Yeah, to create the films that I create. Where does the inspiration come from? It's really a lot of stuff. It's so many things It could be really. And I mean, I remember there was very random newspaper article on the Guardian about this Chinese zoo. People had complained saying that the bears don't look like the real bears and that they're people in costumes. And this is a newspaper headline. Did you see this?   So I was thinking this is a film, you know, like that it's a zoo.

{ 39:59 }

People believe it's a zoo, but actually they're not real animals. So, you know, it's just the most random thing that would give inspiration.   And it's so many things like that I'll just I have a note on my phone called Idea Box, and I just list down whenever something randomly that comes, I'm like, Oh my gosh, this has to be someday it has to turn into a film or a book called a story or something.   And it's now a huge note it's taking up and out of my phone. So it's so many things.

Me:  { 40:26 }

So when did you start with the idea box?

Irushi:  { 40:29 }

Box. I have had several. I mean, I've always had a sketchbook, so it goes down there, but the most recent version is this idea box that started about two years ago.    Yeah. So that's where that the inspiration goes. And then not that I even open it up, it just goes there so that I know that's there.  Usually the projects that I take up are something completely unrelated to the idea box, but it's just sort of calming to know that it's recorded somewhere and I won't just forget to. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Me:  { 41:03 }

So is there any advice you would tell your past self as you were starting this career?

Irushi:  { 41:11 }

It would be maybe not to be scared to ask for help and not be scared to work with others. Because you know when you're an artist you also have the sense of perfection and you want to control a project. When you collaborate, you have to let go of that control. So it would be that to collaborate much sooner. I hadn't done that. I started in 2020? 2019 when I started animating. I mean this thing also to an extent to the 83 also to an extent, but if I started much sooner, I would have been doing much more meaningful community based projects that impacted the community more. I would have started it much earlier.

{ 41:53 }

So yeah, to sort of let go of that control and perfection and to work more with others, yeah, that would be it. You know, if you want to, how are you going to go about audio for this? Are you going to be narrating it?

 ---   End of transcript   ---

[alarajrogers]

OK, this is actually a construction I hate, because an adult without pubic hair does not look remotely like a child.

I used to shave all the time. Can't be bothered anymore, but when I did it, it was because I, personally, thought pubic hair was disgusting. In fact all body hair below the head, and all facial hair below the eyes. I was not influenced in this by porn, or influencers, or beauty standards... I was 14 and it was the 80's and I was growing a fugly bush and I hated it and I wanted it gone. I had never looked at porn, and the porn of the era all had hairy bushes anyway. This opinion did not change when I became an adult, nor when I became sexually active.

Pubic hair interferes with oral sex -- hair gets in your mouth, gross. It makes the area around the genitals less sensitive. The hair is coarse and feels sharp and nasty.

No one has ever demanded that I shave. That was all me, because I hate pubic hair. Losing it was the only good thing about my chemo treatment, aside from the not dying of cancer part. I absolutely hated being bald but I fantasize sometimes about some magical chemical that can make all the hair on my body fall out while sparing everything on my head.

Now, I'm not gonna argue with a doctor. They say it's unhealthy, and I believe them. And I'm too old to care much anymore. (And i never waxed because ow.) But don't go around assuming that anyone likes shaved pubes because "it makes adults look like children". I assure you that an adult woman's pubic area does not look at all like she is a child even if she has removed all the hair. I can tell you this because I am a mother who has bathed children and helped them with medical necessities, and as a result, I have seen naked children up to about the age of 8. I have also seen myself and my partner. We do not look like children when we remove our pubic hair. This is an actively nonsensical concept.

Honestly, I can't speak for other people, but it's not about how it looks anyway. Pubic hair feels unpleasant.

There is no need to essentially accuse people of fucking pedophilia by implication because they have a preference for hairlessness. I think it's unhealthy that society pushed this preference so hard, and I think it's bad that women might feel pressured to do it... but you realize, the reason is that hair is natural and therefore you can't sell people hair, but you can sell them hair removal, right? "No hair" from the perspective of beauty marketers is potential money. And probably less risk than trying a strategy like "make pubic hair soft and silky" or "dye pubic hair interesting colors"; those all involve putting chemicals near someone's hoo-ha, which might have bad side effects that lead to lawsuits. They're not trying to push "look like a child" -- given that they also want to push big breasts and high heels, how would that even make sense? They're trying to push "modify your body with a product we can sell you."

As someone who has this preference from long before society started pushing it, I can respect the desire to let people know that pubic hair is okay and getting rid of it is unhealthy, but do not drag in "looking like a child." That's got nothing to do with it and is rather offensive. (And bad for children, given that some get pubic hair as early as 10! If we start defining "looks like a child" as "has no pubic hair", we end up with kids who very much look like kids being defined as "looking like adults" because they grew some hair early.)

Pubic hair removal naturally irritates and inflames the hair follicles, leaving microscopic open wounds. Frequent hair removal is necessary to stay smooth, causing regular irritation of the shaved or waxed area. When that is combined with the warm, moist environment of the genitals, it becomes a happy culture media for some of the nastiest bacterial pathogens.

Dr. Gibson says that whatever method is used on pubic hair – razor blades, electric shavers, tweezers, waxing, depilatories, electrolysis - “hair, like crab grass, always grows back and eventually wins.”

In her practice it is not unusual to find patients with boils and abscesses on their genitals from shaving as well as cellulitis, an infection of the scrotum, labia or penis from shaving or from having sex with someone infected.

Herpes is also an increased risk “due to the microscopic wounds being exposed to virus carried by mouth or genitals.”

“It follows that there may be vulnerability to spread of other sexually transmitted diseases as well,” she says.

“Pubic hair does have a purpose, providing a cushion against friction that can cause skin abrasion and injury, and protection from bacteria. It is the visible result of adolescent hormones and certainly nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.”

“It is time to declare a truce in the war on pubic hair and allow it to stay right where it belongs.”

[2024inwords]

The Chapter 7 reading on employee responsibilities got me thinking about what a “manager” truly means beyond the title that comes with a higher pay grade.

DesJardins talks about how as a manager, it is crucial to understand that one has a responsibility to various stakeholders – both internal and external. Often times, we get lost in the idea that we only have 1 master to serve – the company; but in reality, we also have a responsibility towards customers, employees, the law, and the community. As someone who is in sales, I’ve always struggled with the push-and-pull of negotiations. Because on one hand, I am supposed to be representing the company to deliver on results but on the other hand, there are moments when I also get stuck putting myself in the shoes of the customer. While I know there is nothing wrong with that mindset because I am a firm believer of “do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you” admittedly, there were times when I felt like I was leaning more towards one stakeholder vs another, particularly customers. However, this chapter gave me a bit more perspective on that personal struggle of mine – I realized that I probably tended to lean towards the customer’s needs because I wanted to portray that I am a business partner they can trust. There are often misconceptions about sales people and while the kind of sales I am doing is not the commission-based one and more of business development, I think I wanted to prove to my customers and to myself that I am trustworthy and I sincerely want to help them grow their business because as the reading highlights, at the core of our responsibilities as a manager lies the fundamental principle of trustworthiness.

Trust is a crucial element in any relationship, be it personal or professional. Whether it's fostering trust with customers by delivering on promises, ensuring the well-being and growth of employees, adhering to legal standards, or contributing positively to the community, trust forms the bedrock upon which all interactions are built. As the saying goes, "Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair." Hence, trust is usually the foundation of a productive and healthy workplace environment. It enables open communication, collaboration, and innovation, which are essential for the success of any business.

Human existence is inherently interdependent, and no one can live a fully self-sufficient life alone. We rely on others for various aspects of our lives, whether it's for goods, services, emotional support, or collaboration. In this interconnected web, trust serves as the adhesive that binds individuals and organizations together, facilitating cooperation and progress. Recognizing this inherent need for trust underscores the significance of upholding trustworthiness in all business endeavors.

Acting ethically and on principle often requires courage, discipline, and willpower. In the fast-paced and competitive business environment, staying true to one's principles can be challenging amidst temptations and pressures to cut corners or compromise values for short-term gains. However, it is precisely in these moments of moral dilemma that the true test of character arises. Virtue ethics advocates for the cultivation of habits and character traits that facilitate ethical decision-making, even in the face of adversity.

It is imperative to recognize that individual responsibility for character development does not exist in isolation. Virtue ethics underscores the significance of moral development and education, emphasizing the profound influence of surroundings in shaping individuals' ethical compass and behavior. This insight imparts a valuable lesson to businesses—they must be conscientious about cultivating a positive and ethical culture. By creating an environment conducive to ethical reflection and growth, organizations can instill a sense of shared values and collective responsibility among their members.

Consideration of responsibilities extends beyond internal dynamics to encompass external stakeholders. Managers are entrusted with the responsibility of balancing the needs and expectations of customers, employees, the law, and the community. This multi-faceted role requires a comprehensive understanding of the ethical implications of decisions and actions. By navigating this intricate web of responsibilities, a manager contributes to the establishment of trust both within and outside the organization.

Reflecting on these ideas, it becomes evident that the ethos of trust and responsibility is not a static concept but a dynamic force shaped by continuous moral development. Organizations that foster a culture of virtue ethics and prioritize the holistic development of their employees contribute to the creation of an ethical and trustworthy business environment.

In conclusion, the interplay between employee responsibilities and trust is a crucial aspect of ethical conduct in business. The role of a manager in today's business landscape transcends mere profitability and encompasses a wide-range of responsibilities to customers, employees, the law, and the community including building trust, upholding ethical standards, and promoting moral development. One’s actions and decisions have a significant impact on others. By embracing these principles, businesses can cultivate a culture of trust, ethical conduct, and responsibility, laying the foundation for sustainable success in the ever-evolving business landscape.

[mushroomwillow]

Hey uh, idk if this is a “friendly” reminder. But just want to remind people that religious trauma isn’t solely designated to Christianity.

(Disclaimer, not every individual who follows any spiritual/religious belief is toxic or traumatized)

Tw: religion/ trauma/abuse

Mine started with that yes, but it got a million times worse with paganism. I started following it with a friend who had some experience with it. And over the years fell into almost psychosis. We knew each other for 18 years, and she had shoved into my head that she was “very powerful” and always described her relationship with deities as something I would never achieve because she was chosen. And therefore could get them to do whatever she wanted, even ruining peoples lives, but yet somehow insisted she didn’t believe in hexing. Which lead into witchcraft.

At the beginning of this year she suddenly blocked me on everything. Told my fiancé’s friends how horrible I am, that I’m manipulative and using him. It was heartbreaking, I’m still so angry about it. I had just gotten free from the most abusive relationship I’ve ever been in, found a family and a relationship that I never thought was possible, and suddenly, she was angry for some unknown reason and violently attacking anyone close to me. I could go on and on about those details, but that’s not what this post is about.

It’s about how I’ve come to the realization that a lot of my fears about god, being punished by gods and goddesses, the idea that I could never give enough of myself to appease them and get help with anything, was honestly caused by her, and a lot of the popular social accounts (not all) about the religion/spirituality. And if I’m really really honest with myself, I think that may have caused more issues than growing up Christian. Yes that did cause a lot of issues and absolutely did not help my religious trauma and relationship with religion. But it was most definitely not alone.

I’ve suffered with the idea that I would never be good enough, never give enough, never make a big enough sacrifice to get any peace in my life. That no matter how hard I believed it just would not be enough and it was always my fault because I never believed, sacrificed, and gave enough to get favor from god, and gods/goddesses.

And it was not all to blame on that friend. She had a massive part in it, but there were many other influences that aided in all of that. The church I grew up in. Social media. My mom and step dad. Partners I’ve had. Places I’ve lived. And this is all a giant mix of both Christianity, and paganism.

This is only my experience that I’m speaking from. I just want to bring some light that any spiritual beliefs can be toxic. Seriously any.

And at the same time, any spiritual belief can be incredibly empowering to people. It can bring peace and love and all of the great things that some people can find in that sort of thing. It’s different for everyone.

Rant over I guess. Won’t be responding to hate, there’s no blaming one religion or spiritual belief over the other here.

[hook-your-ex-system-review]

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