#particularly bc i hate leaving things unfinished

[cuteniarose]

Kat and Nia and their Multiverse of Madness

A masterpost for the intricate web of AUs co-created by @katkastrofa and yours truly, with linked art, fics and relevant posts for maximum convenience

(Compiled into one post mainly to help keep track of everything now that it's grown so big, but also specifically written out for @rokurookajima since she was interested. Will continue to be updated as things develop further)

Under the read more, because fair warning, this is LONG

MAIN VERSES:

We have many different AUs as part of our multiverse, but there are only two main ones, with the rest either being based on SotRL or a mix of it and FAtC:

Seeds of the Red Lotus – Suiren and Midori, my first OCs and Ming-Hua and Ghazan's children, grow up in Gaoling with their abusive paternal aunt, Haya (she wasn't abusive towards Ghazan, which is why he was inclined to trust her with his kids, but her grudge against him for abandoning her in favour of the RL + prejudice against the Swamp tribes, where Ming-Hua is from, because the illness that killed her parents started there, led her to taking out her anger on his daughters, particularly on Suiren, who is way too much like her mother). Their childhoods are awful in unique ways, and in an attempt to earn enough money to move out, Suiren, a waterbender, takes up a job as an assassin, which just further worsens her already nonexistent mental stability. In 174 AG, Team Avatar hires her as a last ditch effort to defeat Kuvira (and no, there is no giant mecha suit, because it's stupid and I hate it), and both sisters are taken to Air Temple Island. I never finished the fic itself, though I am slowly dabbling in a rewrite + continuation, but most of the discussions Kat and I have still take place in this verse, or more specifically, what we call post-SotRL

(Post-SotRL – After Suiren fails to kill Kuvira and sustains an injury to her leg, she and Midori leave ATI and by pure chance reunite with their parents and P'Li (all of whom survived the Book 3 finale and spent 3 years in hiding, because I said so). Of course, it's not all sunshine and rainbows – there are 16 years' worth of trauma, pain and guilt to work through, after all. That process is the central theme of Kat's Roots series. Some time later, Kuvira is defeated and sentenced to death, but Suiren (who's been high-key obsessed with her ever since the failed assassination) decides to break her out of jail and save her life, which leads to the start of their enemies to unwilling roommates/fuckbuddies to lovers arc. The event itself is detailed in Kat's WISH, and I myself have written this dynamic both in Astraphobia and my unfinished Avatar Sapphic Week contributions. At roughly the same time, Midori reconnects with Opal (who she met while at ATI) and they begin a relationship of their own (bc Bopal was comphet and you cannot convince me otherwise), a bit later Bolin joins the gang (gets semi-adopted by Ghazan and discovers that his mom and P’Li are actually cousins who never got to meet, so P’Li gets some family back too), and eventually this merry band of misfits break Zaheer out of jail, and what follows is some difficult political stuff that neither of us are too keen to get into, but the point is that in the end, the Red Lotus are allowed to peacefully exist and the world is slowly changing for the better)

Fate Amenable to Change – A set of fics exploring a Red Lotus Korra AU, canon to Kat's main backstory fic, Lost and Found (SotRL builds on the same events with the same backstories for P'Li and Zaheer, but with Ghazan being from Gaoling instead of Ba Sing Se, his sister's name being different, and him being childhood friends with Ming-Hua. Suiren and Midori are also not canon to FAtC). The main fic, Empty and Become Wind, differs from most other RL Korra fics because she wasn't kidnapped, rather the RL convinced her parents to run away with them, but unfortunately, both of them were killed when Korra was 11. After that, the RL took up residence in Zaofu right up until it was time for Korra to learn airbending, upon which they all relocate to Republic City. Kat's co-writer for this series quit writing, and since then we've basically adopted the two most prominent OCs from it – Nazra, P'heer's combustionbending daughter, and Tsomo, a blind airbender born to Lin and Tenzin before they broke up. The two of them feature in a few of our SotRL-based AUs (and yes, they're lesbians and in love, did you really expect anything else?). We don't really explore this verse because both of us are obsessed with Suiren and Midori, but it deserves a mention nonetheless.

SECONDARY VERSES:

Under the Oak's Shade – The first secondary AU ever created, a result of a passing idea of an AU where Zhi (P'Li's mentor and parental figure from Kat's LaF) and her partner Ikiaq (a bloodbending healer. Yes, these two are also lesbians) take in Suiren and Midori after their parents are imprisoned. Due to being unable to cope with her own grief, it takes Zhi six months to get to the girls, which was enough time for Haya's abuse to leave its mark. Both girls are nothing at all like the kids described in the letters P'Li used to send, and while Midori is quick to revert back and soak in all of Zhi's affection, Suiren is angry, skittish, terrified and resentful, reluctant to let Zhi anywhere near her. The series is still in progress, but the current plan is that Zhi will take them to the North Pole, where she lives with Ikiaq, and they shall help the girls heal from their trauma and grow up happy and healthy. One notable detail is that Suiren will train under Ikiaq and become a bloodbender, which will eventually enable her to enact a plan to break the RL out of prison early on. There have also been talks of a Red Lotus Korra element to this AU as well, but we'll have to discuss it in more detail

Ultimate AU – One of the mixes between SotRL and FAtC. This AU has existed pretty much forever, as I very quickly came up with a "hey, what if Suiren, Midori and Nazra all existed in the same verse?" concept. It is also the birthplace of Kuviren and Green Opal, both started as inside jokes, so remember kids, be careful with what you joke about, it might just become an important part of your story. It gained proper shape in May 2024 when I came up with an AU of LaF in which P'Li's little sister, Lien-Hua, gets to live and is also rescued from the warlord by Zaheer. Lien-Hua haunts the narrative of our multiverse (and actually, in SotRL-verse Midori is her reincarnation!!), she's really the central part of it all, and so it was decided that if she gets to live, everyone else does too. Xai Bau, the Red Lotus founder who died closer to the end of LaF, survives. The AU follows the storyline of FAtC with Korra's parents joining the RL, but they also get to live. In Zaofu, the kids get to grow up happily with their parents, the seeds for Kuviren and Green Opal are planted, and it's genuinely all very soft and fluffy up until Republic City and the Equalist conflict comes into the picture and things take on a darker turn. But before then, the worst thing that happens is Kuvira rejecting Suiren because she's convinced Renny (who's a massive flirt with a love for low cut dresses in this verse) is just playing with her and her feelings aren't genuine. But they sort it out soon enough, don't you worry. Essentially, this is the AU we turn to when the angst gets to be Too Much

Mud of Adversity – Another mix of SotRL and FAtC, this time a lot more angsty. Starts out the same as SotRL, with the exception of Nazra being left with Haya as well, meaning that Suiren's burden of being the protector has doubled. Haya knows who Nazra's mother is and thus is scared of her, so Naz doesn't get hit (Haya views her as a walking time bomb, essentially), but they're not given enough food to satisfy Nazra's increased appetite and she's made to feel like a freak for her height and abilities. Though in some ways, she's luckier than her sisters because she's allowed to firebend while earth- and waterbending are banned. The reason is the same, Haya being afraid that Nazra will spontaneously combust if her fire builds up for too long. Years later, when the girls are teens, Nazra gets angry at Haya for beating Suiren and accidentally kills her with her combustionbending. They dispose of the body, leave Gaoling and go into hiding, Suiren taking up her assassin job to keep them fed. When the RL escape from prison in Book 3, they go to check up on their daughters only to find an empty house, causing them all to imagine the worst. We never did finish figuring out how this AU develops, but this is the basic gist of it and maybe one day, we'll return to it

Sacrifice AU – The angstiest SotRL AU there is. As mentioned, people in the small corner of Gaoling Haya lives in are prejudiced towards the Swamp tribes, blaming them for the disease that killed so many, and Suiren as a swampbender becomes the subject of many rumours and superstitions. With time, the townspeople start to see her as a spirit (because it's easier to ignore the obvious abuse of a child if she's not a child at all, but a malevolent spirit and an omen of doom), and the rumours reach their peak when Suiren becomes an assassin and is now able to afford a slightly better life for herself and Midori, at which point it is decided that she must be the reason everyone else lives in poverty, because why else does she live better than them? Getting rid of her will be their salvation. So one night a few months after the Red Lotus allegedly die, on a new moon so Suiren is at her weakest, they attack, intending to sacrifice her as a way of securing prosperity, and kill Midori while they're at it. Kuvira, who at that point has already started her Great Uniter work, happens to be in Gaoling at the same time and saves them, taking them to Zaofu for their safety. Desperate to feel alive again, Suiren falls into bed with Kuvira on that very first night and regrets it a lot since now Kuvira keeps looking at her as if she expects something (Kuvira is just concerned, but try telling Suiren that). Traumatised, suffering from PTSD and paranoia, Suiren avoids people like the plague and stops waterbending, considering water to be a traitor since it didn't help her save herself and Midori, and instead learns bloodbending so she isn't completely helpless. And Kuvira, who keeps fretting over her, might just be the perfect test subject...

MoA Sacrifice AU – Somehow, even worse than the previous one. As the title suggests, a mix of Sacrifice AU and Mud of Adversity. Instead of Nazra killing Haya, things carry on as normal for a few more years until the night of the sacrifice. Nazra uses her combustionbending to try saving Suiren, but fails and all it results in is the townspeople deciding to sell her to a general looking for unique benders for his army. Suiren and Midori are saved by Kuvira and taken to Zaofu, while Nazra meets the same fate as her mother, being tattooed and forced to be a weapon against her will. Eventually, she is found and saved, but is so traumatised and scared of hurting people (her tattoo was done in a way that made her light chakra overactive, she literally cannot supress her combustionbending unless she's on qi blockers) that she can't stay in Zaofu and is sent to a sanctuary in the mountains to recover, where she meets and bonds with Tsomo. Meanwhile, rumours of a combustionbender spread and reach the Red Lotus, who are currently in hiding. Ghazan goes to investigate, is told by Haya about the failed sacrifice, comes across Bolin who by that point has made friends with Midori, and the reunion between the RL and their kids happens sooner than in normal SotRL. Still not too clear on where it goes from there

Avatar Suiren AU – Aang dies two years earlier and Suiren is born as the Avatar instead of Korra. The Red Lotus fundamentally believe that the Avatar shouldn't exist, and that belief was passed on to Suiren before they found out what she was. Suiren hates being the Avatar, both because she sees her parents constantly worrying about her being discovered and taken away, and because she, similar to Yangchen, is rather sensitive to memories of her past lives and it's very, very overwhelming for her. She often gets nightmares about traumatic things previous Avatars went though and.wakes up screaming names long forgotten by history, but that also allows her easier communication with them, so she's never quite alone. She remembers all the pain, all the efforts to fix the world that were ultimately useless, knows how it feels like to have your entire world upended as a child, and decides early on that she will not let this continue. The world cannot keep relying on one being to save them, and so she shall be the Last Avatar. She grows up, trains, at one point crosses paths with Kuvira in Zaofu who finds out her secret and becomes extremely devoted to her, and during Harmonic Convergence opens both Spirit Portals and fuses with Vaatu (much to Raava's dismay). She works hard to get the world ready for the lack of an Avatar, to change and establish as many things as she can, all the while bonding with and getting attached to her spirit kites, particularly Vaatu, though she spends a lot of time talking to both, and when things are as stable as can be, she lets both of them go, ending the cycle (something that would cause unfathomable outrage were it to actually happen in the show, but tbh, even this is 100x better than whatever those new leaks promise...)

Mermaid AU – An utterly niche, self indulgent AU not connected to any other verse, born out of my lifelong love for mermaids. No bending, no Avatar, just Kuvira as the best captain in Suyin Beifong's merchant fleet (and Bataar Jr's fiancee) and Suiren as a mermaid/siren/sea monster who she meets while stranded in a seaside town. Monsterfucking ensues 😁 I'm still not quite sure where I'll take this, the fic for it that I started for MerMay 2024 is still just a oneshot, but I do have some ideas I could explore, including how Suiren's parents and Midori feature in this AU (as a tiny hint.. anyone here ever seen Barbie in a Mermaid Tale? [they say, as if they don’t have several posts on their art blog spoiling the “grand reveal”…])

BONUS IMPORTANT STORYLINES:

Northern Water Tribe shenanigans – In March 2024 I made a shitpost about Malina, Unalaq's wife, Kat saw it and things spiralled from there. It came to be that there's no love in their marriage, they have not shared a bed since the twins were conceived, and Unalaq generally has no interest in Malina because he's rather.. preoccupied (🤮) with a certain spirit kite. And what's a lonely, touch starved, severely tocophobic beautiful bisexual noble woman to do in that situation? Well, start a harem made out of her guards and handmaidens, of course!! It's.. pretty much pure filth, yes 😔 That's just what happens when you let someone raised on harem dramas (a.k.a me) anywhere near noble characters. But anyway, we have two OCs Malina is close with so far – Ila, a useless disaster lesbian for whom no other woman but Malina exists, and Alasie, an aroace and touch repulsed maid who has her boundaries respected by Malina and becomes a friend to her. Ngl, those two are low-key based on Kat and me <3 And Suiren also becomes involved in all of this in the UtOS and Avatar Suiren verses, but I shall not be sharing details of that in public

Zaheer's fucked up family – Once upon a time, Kat wrote in LaF that at age 12, Zaheer ran away from his tyrant father, classist mother and two sisters, whom he didn’t have the best relationship with. One summer evening, I took that and ran with it. Semi-brief summary: Jusamah – Zaheer's father, angry, violent, barely tolerates his wife and kids, cares only for his fortune and continuing the family line, can, will and has severely punished and executed people for perceived transgressions; Sunat – Zaheer's mother, meek, anxious, secretly nearsighted, loves her children and would do anything to ensure their safety, but doesn't allow herself to show affection, focuses on social climbing to secure good matches for her daughters; Summiya – the eldest, perfect in every way down to the uncanny symmetry of her face. Married to Himman, the only son of an influential family who's rumoured to be a drunk and a brothel goer. Her two children, Liba and Abyan, were both born with visible birthmarks, thus not as perfect as her, and her perfectionism and constant criticism make Abyan resent her and Liba hate herself. As young teens, the two run away, leaving Summiya's life crumbling around her. Her kids are gone, her husband is a cheater, she's not perfect anymore, so she loses it and turns to sexual masochism to feel at least something. Her infidelity is discovered, she runs away, makes friends with a group of girls working at a local brothel (a few of whom are her husband's mistresses), heals, finds freedom in sex work, eventually reconnects with her sister, kids, mother and, many years later, Zaheer; Aiza/Emran – middle child, always failed to live up to both Summiya and Zaheer, scored a less than ideal match and couldn't stand the thought of marrying someone she had never met (my fic nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter goes into this in great detail), so disguised herself as a boy named Emran and ran away with the help of her maid. Ends up at an Air Temple, joins the acolytes, has a gender epiphany and now goes by both names, uses she/he/they pronouns, and is a genderfluid, pansexual, polyamorous ICON. Many years later, his niece and nephew arrive at the same temple and he takes them under his wing. Has many lovers all over the world, including the maid who helped them, Jia (who was tortured for information by Jusamah after Aiza left 😬) and after reuniting with Zaheer, Ghazan :D. Gains airbending after Harmonic Convergence. Over the last few months Kat and I have basically frothed at the mouth at any even slight mention of this family, and it's hard to tell why from a summary, but generational conflicts like this are fascinating so we intend to keep going with this until we literally can't anymore

Brothel girls – Summiya's friends!! Featuring: Shezan – bisexual, struggles with chronic pain, comes from a big family, loves her work but would rather do it independently; Roheen – lesbian, wanted to become a lawyer but didn't get into school despite her smarts, dislikes her job and wants to leave to pursue law school again; Gulalai – bisexual, has an identical twin sister she failed to compare to, in a relationship with Roheen, enjoys her work well enough but would leave if Roheen left; Phailin – asexual, half Fire Nation, erotic dancer who goes further for a higher price, loves dancing and having eyes on herself and dreams of returning to her ancestral homeland, the Fire Nation islands; Daneli – lesbian, youngest girl there, turned to brothel work when her dad (single father) got sick, has crushes on Shezan and Qader, doesn't enjoy her job much and will leave as soon as she can, ends up adopting the daughter of one of the other brothel girls, whom she names Kumisai (who, as a teenager, will be in a relationship with Jinora and friends with Kai); and Qader – some flavour of mspec, was bullied growing up for not being feminine enough so went full butch to spite them, picked her name herself, the most domineering at the brothel, likes her work and will keep at it regardless of circumstances, makes Kat's brain short-circuit 🤭. Honourable mention – Mekhali, non-binary, independent sex worker with an undecided dark past, Summiya's first friend who housed her after she ran away, introduced her to the girls and helped both her and Shezan start working independently too (no posted art or fics of these guys exist yet, but Kat and I have an extensive series of incorrect quotes posts featuring them)

Sweet baby Ehuang – We've had the headcanon for a while that Midori and Opal would work with kids a lot in the future, and as a result would adopt a bunch (no names, appearances or concrete backstories yet, but they adopted a boy who was born in 173 AG, a girl who was born in 175 AG, and one who'll end up nonbinary who was born in 181 AG), but after a while Midori decides that she wants to have a biological child as well. With one of Opal's brothers helping out as a sperm donor, Midori conceives and nine months later, in 186 AG, gives birth to a girl they name Ehuang (her name comes from the same legend as Ming-Hua's mom's name, Nuying, so it's all very symbolic). Ehuang grows up to be a wild and carefree child, beloved by her entire family – her moms, siblings, grandparents, uncles on Opal's side, Auntie Renny and Auntie 'Vira (Suiren and Kuvira, in case that wasn't obvious), etc etc. She's an earthbender on the road to becoming a lavabender, takes after great grandma Toph in her refusal to wear shoes, has a rock collection, and is literally the manifestation of everything good and pure in this world. We don't have much of a storyline for her yet, but that will hopefully change at some point since I already have a few ideas

EXTRA OC INFODUMPS AND RELEVANT POSTS:

Brief summaries of Haya, Summiya, Aiza, Ehuang, and Ila & Alasie

Meifeng, Ming-Hua’s cousin

Nonbinary OCs (incomplete list)

Eldest daughters

And, as one final piece of information, the SotRL-verse family tree:

Last updated: DECEMBER 20TH 2024

[rahleeyah]

HOW can people hate Kathy or think any of this is her fault?? I mean I know how but. My docs folder from right after rotps is overflowing with unfinished and barely started character pieces about kathy and the series of little tragedies that led up to her life ending in that one big tragedy (and also a few stabler kid pieces too like Mo looking at Eli and feeling all the ways the two of them are the same for all the ways they're different, the baby that got their mother into her marriage and the one that got her into it again etc. No shippy wips whatsoever just stabler family tragedies lol)

sorry I know I'm a little late since it's been a few days since the Kathy discussion but stabler family tragedies is so compelling to me actually. and I love the concept of the "series of little tragedies that led up to her life ending in that one big tragedy" bc that's it, isn't it? Kathy is, ultimately, a tragic figure. she is never the arbiter of her own fate; the one time she tries to intervene and take control for herself, when she leaves Elliot, he continues to try to pursue her even after signing the papers and yes she's the one who asks him to stay but he's the one who turned up there in the first place, and can we blame her for being lonesome? For wanting the only thing she's ever known? and then she ends up pregnant again, like she can't act on her desires without getting screwed. she isn't happy, when she asks Elliot to come home, she isn't saying we can finally save our marriage; she is terrified and doing something she doesn't even particularly look like she wants to do.

and oh, fuck, the kids, and maureen in particular. the maureen + Eli callout is haunting thanks for that I'm gonna be thinking about that for a while. but also, maureen the only one married with babies; is there any part of maureen that wonders if she's just living her mother's life, the way Elliot lived his father's?

[patrocool]

i would love to hear about pekka rollins:( torture fic, honey in your ears, spice in your mouth, slaz crack fic, and trying to change!!!

ooooh okay, so!!

pekka rollins:( torture fic is a rewrite of one of my 'verses from band-aids on our bullet wounds (chaps 21, 25, and 31 i think?) that has been expanded a Lot. it is now 15k words with 6/18 planned chapters written entirely. its @randomcat1832's fault that it is now so long. in this fic, kaz was taken by rollins and tortured for six months. he ends up blinded and Very Fucked up and traumatised, the the fic is over the course of roughly a year after being rescued as he slowly heals and becomes himself again. also trans kaz for the win:)

honey in your ears, spice in your mouth is a companion to my sick fic, and i hate myself every day that's dealt that i couldn't comfort you, where kanej have a fight, inej leaves on the wraith, and kaz ends up getting deathly sick, all in kaz's pov. honey in your ears is inej's pov of all of that!!

slaz crack fic is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well. if you know me irl please dont read this. the fic is basically what if,,,, the slat,,,,,, fucked kaz,,,,, and also inej was there

trying to change is a short lil thing inspired by the mother mother song of the same name. it sits unfinished bc i thought it was bad but now reading it, i think it could actually be an interesting start to something. i just,,, dont have a plot for it. but basically, kaz is beating himself up for not immediately becoming Better for inej post-ck

snippets under the cut!

pekka torture:( fic

TW: implied past torture, extreme trauma response, a bit of racism, violence, poor mental state, all around Bad Time, and its in 2nd person!

Most of the townsfolk think Inej is your nurse. You know you should be angry and you think you are, but it feels muted. Distant. As if behind a thick curtain, or perhaps on a separate floor of a house.

(As if you were still in that cellar while your heart was out of your chest, far, far away while Pekka was too damn close–)

You consider using the knife strapped to your arm underneath your sleeve to take a stab at some of the particularly nasty commenters, but it feels more like a learned behavior, a routine you can fall back into rather than an urge in the moment. You think you might be so used to violence that it's become your default, and you hate that you even have to resort to your default when you should be angry. You should be furious–

But you’re not. You’re just numb.

-

honey in your ears, spice in your mouth

Once the letter was in her hands, Specht subtly nodded towards her captain’s quarters. He knew as well as she did that whatever was on that piece of parchment was important– and likely sensitive information.

She didn’t need to be told twice.

She barely even registered Wylan’s wax seal as she cracked it open to Jesper’s familiar scrawl.

It didn’t say much but what it did made her stomach plummet in the worst way.

Wraith,

KB is sick. Raging fever. Called-me-Jordie-again-and-didn’t-seem-to-know-he-was-wrong sort of sick. Don’t know for how long, finding medik.

He keeps mumbling your name.

-J

Within half a bell, the Wraith was heading towards Ketterdam with a vengeance with only the little dinghy sent ahead as a warning.

Tell him I’m on my way, was all she wrote on the return note.

-

slaz crack fic

cw: nsfw lmfao

No one understood Kaz like the Slat did. No one knew what he needed like it did either.

Kaz couldn’t stand the touch of another person, the very thought of skin against his repulsed him, but he was still a man with certain urges and, well. The Slat didn’t exactly have skin, now did it?

-

trying to change

tw: implied parental and child death (kaz's backstory), self hate

“What’s wrong?” She asked, looking him over carefully– he felt her eyes lingering on his still scabbing knuckles and the stiff way his leg was laid out. 

I missed you, he wanted to say. I didn’t have you by my side. I couldn’t do even the one thing you asked of me. I’ve failed you at the very simplest of things, things that Jesper had managed within days of knowing you and yet I still have nightmares about. I can’t do this, I can’t be what you want. I can’t be the man you want me to be– I only know how to be the monster the Barrel made me into.

He turned back to his books. “I’m fine,” he said, stiff as dry wood.

“You’re not,” Inej said, her words cutting through him like a knife.

(Like a plow.)

Kaz swallowed down a lump in his throat and his eyes found the date of the most recent log in his book. He hadn’t changed, and Jordie would never get the chance to. Because that was what it was really about, wasn’t it? That’s what it always was– he couldn’t even just move on with his life. He was forever stuck in this limbo between dead and alive, crumbling under the weight of his dead forever-13-year-old brother.

[stellarcobweb]

things tht ive been feeling pulled to do/learn fr the spiral (this started with the intent of former sentence but then Things Happened and idk where that train of thought went. ended up rambling)

read house of leaves

learn the most complicated shorthand ever

make a cipher and use it religiously. make needlessly complicated

remake playlists

buy kaleidoscope

linguistics for some reason (language is bullshit. im learning toki pona and asl. i wish i

on the topic of toki pona ve been staring at different writing systems and im feelin particularly drawn to the . sitelen kule. that sounds so fun and so annoying /pos

retroactively associating my sudoku and nonogram obsession w spiral

i really like symbolism. edvard munch is my fav artist bc i feel like i can sink my teeth real hard into his art. also abstract art

............i think ihave dyscalculia and also general sleep cycle and time issues. i literally had an appointment in the middle of writing this that told me i spend like 35 mins under 90% oxygen and def have sleep apnea. wild. also time is bullshit. ALSO i have such insane issues differentiating right and left

sometimes my ability to speak english is just Fucked. hell language

i wish i could use the lunisolar calendar by default tbh. alternative calendar systems are my ideal. my memory is so fucked my brain decides on like. "it happen when i was 8 - when The Mental Illness started, when i was 13/14 - when i first started dating my ex, when i was 16 - when my dad died, or after i turned 21 - breakup w ex and also i can drink alcohol now". i wanna bust out new calendars and have new and exciting ways to figure time out. legit. i wanna b inherently confusing to everyone around me its The Ideal

astrology probably but tbh i also associate that w various others if going off of Smirke's labelling of fears

occasional urge to get into pottery and buy some really nice clay to play with. i wanna make mugs and bowls that i can use tbh. playing w Good Clay in art class literal years ago rewired my brain

want to stare at fractals (i misspelled that as frals for a sec n tbh. real)

my memory is hell. zero object/emotional permanence, real bad memory issues, sleeping is complicated and my sleep cycle relies on the stars aligning and fucks itself up super easy. also chronic delusions. most of this isnt that much of a bother tho tbh . the delusions upset me the most but thats moreso bc i hate being wrong and falling Out of delusions moreso than the delusions themselves. yes i am an angel no i cant explain why. yes sometimes i dont think im one however i am Wrong

bookbinding ....... making a leitner sounds fun. also i want to make an ARG - i CAN MAKE AN UNFICTION/IMMERSIVE FICTION/ARG BOOK. house of leaves style. i feel like itd end up being web/spiral/eye and possibly also /lonely or others tbh. just based on what i like writing about. poss /hunt as well. millioms.

web stuff i want/like doing (theres more here but the Spiral yoinked me into focusing on it instead so. shrug. unfinished)

want to learn to code. no idea what language yet

dolls. just realized i could combine this and spiral clay and make spiralweb dolls. (also techinically stranger too but tbh i dont see stranger and spiral as . all that separate . same w slaughter and hunt not being all that separate. based entirely on how i myself perceive them obvi. i should work on my conpantheon ...)

yarn. crochet, knitting

lace, crossstitch, embroidery. thread

sewing tbh. i get urge to grab various fabrics just as bad as i get w yarn and tbh its sometimes worse bc making plushies is my hobby

[narrators-journal]

I know I've been heavily complimenting your writing and I mean all of it but I think it might be getting repetitive so you know, might as well make another request so I not only get great writing, you hopefully have a fun time writing and get positive feedback. I think that a continuation of my first request would be fun and I did say I love things about getting together. If you want something other than fluff, my statements from my first request ask still stand.

(I assume it's noticeable who I am but I can start signing these as Grayson if you think that would be helpful)

Alright, not gonna lie, I took a while to really START this ask bc I went back and forth on where to take it. Between that and my drawing, writing has taken a bit of a back seat in general. But! I got this out, and I hope it continues the light hearted fun of the first post!

As Ryuji walked down the street, Yusuke held his umbrella for the both of them. The taller man far more comfortable with the job than Ryuji had been. “So, where did ya vanish off to with Akira? Are you playing us both for dates now? Or am I now in some competition with Joker for your affections?” Ryuji asked lightly with mischief alight in his hazel eyes and a small, playful smile on his lips as he looked at the artist. “No, I simply went to the bath house with him. I thought you’d appreciate me not smelling like clay and acrylic paints over lunch. Because, I can assure you, clay does notsmell appetizing.” He explained simply. Though, if he realized what Ryuji’s implied, he didn’t let it show in his blue-gray eyes for the entire walk to the ramen shop.

Oh, so this is how it’s gonna be, huh? You’re gonna be as dense as a brick today? Mr. Poetry can’t pick up the context clues?The blonde thought at the artist as his chest swirled with a mixture of hurt and amusement at the odd man’s response. Though, of course, he didn’t verbalize those thoughts, even after it simmered down to only leave the devious amusement in his heart. Fine then, let’s play a game, Kitagawa. “So, I take it you’ve been working with clay as of late? Whatcha sculpting? Me?~” He asked coyly once they’d gotten to the shop. Paused at the doorway to let Yusuke shake out his umbrella and drop it into the small basket put out for the customers, “I am, and nothing that would interest you. Before we’re allowed to create anything original, we’re being made to sculpt one of those anatomical figures for the human body. So, I’ve just been working on shaping and carving out musculature this past week.” And, Ryuji nodded at that as they found themselves seats at the counter. And, for the while it took for the pair to pick their dishes and receive them from the waitor, their conversation mainly circled Yusuke’s studies. The struggles of his teacher’s high standards, how much Yusuke hated the feeling of clay on his hands, all of the muscles and anatomy details the man had learned in his lessons for this project.

It all went in one ear and out the other for the blonde. But, he let the artist continue nonetheless. Not because he particularly enjoyed art, but because he enjoyed how much yusukeenjoyed art. How the tall man’s eyes seemed to become more and more blue whenever he spoke of color theory, figure studies, or paint brushes. Or, in this case, the agonies of clay beneath his fingernails and clay water in his mouth. Though, the fun of the slipped in implications and hints of their lunch being a date also helped him enjoy the conversation. “-plus it gets fucking everywhere. I’ve sacrificed so many shirts and pants to clay stains.” “Can’t you just pick the clay off when it dries, though?” Ryuji asked through a mouthful of his chosen noodles. “I could, but I hate unfinished clay. It feels...chalky? I don’t know how to phrase it in a way that gets across why exactly I hate it. Just know that I hate how it feels when it dries.” Yusuke continued, though he paused to take a few bites of his own ramen. The pair’s food eaten between their chatter. “Ah, yeah I guess that would be an issue. Though, I now know what to look out for on our next date.” “Oh god, no! I’d never wear a shirt that’s been stained with art supplies out. Plus, I try to minimize the spreading of stains by wearing certain clothes when doing certain crafts. That way, I won’t need to worry about the clay or paint.” And, the blonde nodded at that as thunder rumbled in the sky outside and his companion continued to list the ways he mitigated the mess of his work. Absorbed fully in his rambles and crafts. Is this how I act when I talk about the things I enjoy? Deaf to the world? Ryuji mused as he continued to eat and prompt Yusuke further. If so...has Yusuke been in my position before? Did I miss a date situation somehow? Shit…

With that, he took a moment to comb over their interractions of late. Doing his best to recall all of the details of those moments where he’d babbled on about his fighting games, or running, or his favorite tv shows. Wait, shit. If I was so absorbed into rambling, I wouldn’t recall if he asked me out, would I. Ryuji shook his head to banish the thought away and focus back in on Yusuke’s rambles. “-So yeah, I would use gloves, but it interferes with the, y’know, process of working with clay. At least for me.” The artist said, as unaware of Ryuji’s thoughts as a rock. Which, made the blonde sigh, Eff it. “Yusuke, are you aware this is a date?” He asked bluntly, the blue-haired man instantly knocked off balance by the blonde’s question. “Huh? What’s a date?” He asked dumbly, which made the man chuckle, “This is, Yusuke. This outing, our lunch. It’s a date.” He reiterated, his hazel eyes unwavering as he stared into the artist’s grey eyes, “Because I find you insanely attractive. You’re compotent in a fight, you’re romantic in your speech, and you’ve only got one braincell in that head, and it’s focused on art. I like that, so.” He gestured to the shop they sat in as the rain drizzled down outside. All the while, Yusuke stared at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Oh. Okay.” “Okay?? That’s it?” Ryuji asked, shocked at the casual acceptance of his confession. “I mean, yeah??” Yusuke said with a shrug, “I mean, you’re aesthetically pleasing to me, and while you’re a bit aggressive about it, you’ve got a good heart, and I enjoy your humor. So, I’m not mad that this is a date.” He explained, each word a fresh log on the fire in Ryuji’s cheeks. “Oh. Okay then.” Was all he could manage after that, and Yusuke nodded.

So, the two sat there. At the counter of the heavily-scented ramen shop. Neither knowing what to do now, so they ate their food and just. Casually chatted as if the air between them wasn’t thickened further by the awkward, yet...somewhat happy energy.

[siarven]

@jacquesfindswritingandadvice it's been like 400 years but I somehow overlooked this before lkdjfdf aww <33

tbf it's been a while since I actively posted A Thing on writeblr, mainly bc uni and work ate me back in january and I didn't really do much writing since then because my main wip is still being beta read and it's taking A While xD I was a lot better at participating when I had stuff to talk about that wasn't spoilers or editing related :D that being said i do have a new wip so maybe at some point I'll actually have sth to post again (and tag you in) <333 thank you! I really appreciate it a lot <3 (but also if i do post sth and it's not up your alley pls lmk xD tastes don't always align :D)

I really appreciate what you're doing with your blog <33

I am begging fic writers who have a tumblr blog to please POST here when you put a new story or chapter up online. Honestly, BEGGING. If driving readers to your fic is something you want (and presumably it is if you post online at all??) and your blog is something you want your readers to be able to follow if they like your work, PLEASE let people know and be able to recommend and SHARE your work in a way you can SEE so that you can also appreciate any nice comments people put on the reblog or in the tags.

I promise you, as a fic reader, if I like your fic enough to find your tumblr blog (usually because people mention it in their author notes) then I want to give the fic that I liked enough to follow your blog for a BOOST or simply rec it to my followers because I think THEY will like it.

As a fic writer I can tell you: it’s not conceited to post that you’ve put a story or new chapter online. No one will be mad at you. They’re more likely to be mad if they find out that you DIDN’T let them know. Sometimes people forget to subscribe, or don’t know you decided to add a chapter to that“one-shot”, or don’t know you’re writing for another fandom they like too. Tell them. Obviously don’t spam with like a million updates in an hour, use common sense, but the number of times I’ve DEVOURED a new fic or update and then wanted to help promote the fic and that person’s blog has NOTHING that I can share is just way too damn high.

It doesn’t need to be fancy. Just the copy-paste HTML from the AO3 share feature is enough but I am begging you: let me promote your fic from a post that YOU CAN SEE so you can see the nice things I’m saying and for the love of god, don’t be afraid to do the tiniest bit of self promotion for something you worked hard on (unless you TRULY want to keep those things separate or you truly don’t have the extra energy, that I completely understand). Just don’t hold back because you think it’s a bother, or that it’s conceited. Seeing a blog post about your work updating is very welcome to people who like your blog and like your work.

[yuesli]

i read oyasumi punpun in a day yesterday nd i can see why people might like it but i dont think its my genre orz

[jasdiary]

( credit for the template ofc goes to @unfinished-projects-galore <3)

Revamped Bio so some info might be different!

“If you ever need something fixed, Just come to me! I have a knack for tinkering, heh!”

Name : Tinsley Labelle

Nicknames : Tin, Tinsel, Belle, Mademoiselle Fée(Rook), Sis(Gwen @starry-night-rose ), Tiny Tin(Porter @rosietrace ), Fairy Wrasse(Floyd), Miss Belle(Knights at the Draconia Castle)

Jp Va : Suzuko Mimori

En Va : Risa Mei

Age : ???

Height : 152 cm (4’11)

Homeland : Briar Valley

Birthday : 12/27 December 27th

Zodiac sign : Capricorn

Species : Tinker Fae

Hair Color : Honey Blonde

Eye Color : Tiffany Blue

Gender : Female

Sexuality : Unlabled

Family : Gwendolyn Schnee(Biological Sister), Maleficia Draconia(Adoptive Guardian), Malleus Draconia(Adoptive Cousin)

Occupation : Student at NRC, Former Knight

Twisted From : Tinkerbell from Disney Fairies

——————————————————————————

——————————————————————————

School Information

Dorm : Diasomnia

School Year : 3rd (Junior)

Class : 3-D

Best Subject : Flight

Worst Class : Potionology

Club : Mountain Lovers Club

Dominant Hand : Ambidextrous

Favorite Food : Pumpkin Muffins, Hot Chamomile Tea

Least Favorite Food : Salty things

Likes : Her Hammer, Discovering parts and pieces, Fixing things, Exploring

Dislikes : Being ignored, Restriction, The future, Being teased, Being away from family, Banishment

Hobbies : Tinkering, Sewing

Personality : Tinsley’s super duper kind! She’s friendly to anyone and everyone she meets, sometimes she comes off as a lil too friendly. She’s extremely stubborn, tell her not to do something she wants to and she’ll go kicking and screaming. Tinsley’s also super motherly, considering she’s usually one of the older people here. But be aware, she can fight. She’s a former knight after all,,,,Tinsley’s also easily angered, anger her enough and her face will turn firetruck red and her yelling turns into the sound of bells ringing.

Unique Magic : Tinkering Hollow

“I have faith, trust, and pixie dust to help me!”

She can fix and put together objects she's found into anything she wants, She calls her tinkering hammer towards her with pixie dust but can it only last so long. The hammer begins to fade into pixie dust if used too much and will start to disintegrate into pixie dust. The hammer cannot be used for the next 24 hours.

Backstory : Here!

Random Trivia!

Tinsley SWEARS she hates when Porter teases her, but we all know it’s not true. She’s WEAK against his bloody nose 💔

Tinsley uses her wings to fly around a lot. She tries to not use them too often bcs Pixie dust leaves a mess but man,,,,walking is tiring

She probably very gently threatened anyone who had or has a liking towards Gwen, she just wants the best for her lil sis!!

In all her years of living AND being a knight in war, she’s never been more afraid of someone other than Floyd,,,,

She’s probably somewhere with Lilia in a textbook, u just gotta look hard

She added puffs balls onto the tips of her dorm boots! She thought they added charm

Outside of Diasomnia, She’s particularly close friends with Ortho and Kalim! they all like to fly together!

She joined the Mountain Lovers Club so she’d have more time and access to discovering stuff she could tinker with.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

OH MY GOD THE ANON WHO TALKED ABOUT HEIGHT I FEEL THAT SO MUCH

It's gotten to a point where sometimes i legit drop the fic if there's too much emphasis on it bc even if I'm not particularly tall (just average height) I'm still not that short??? (It's even worse in JP fics, I'm in pain every day)

imo it's the worst bc like. 99% of the time it literally has no influence on the story or anything, so i just wish ppl paid more attention and left it out

Then again IG being inclusive generally has been a big point of debate for a long long time and thankfully ppl have gotten much better about it (and generally writing gn stuff and such, i remember not all that long ago that just wasn't a thing and while the average reader-insert is still, like, short female(-coded w skirts etc)/AFAB, white and has at least shoulder-length hair (sth which i also never noticed until 4 years ago when i cut my hair so short you can't "put it up" anymore, braid it etc) it's at least much less egregious and a lot of ppl are explicitly trying to make it inclusive for everyone

And also way more variety in personality

...i feel like some fandom historian writing an essay her I'm so sorry i legit just wanted to be like "me too!" but ig i truly cannot ever shut up

- timezone neighbour

(as usual, hope u have been well!! I might possibly make some last TR comment when the last chapter is out but I've just gotten to the point where i have no love and just lots of bitterness and only thinking of reading the new chapters makes me want to set my laptop on fire instead LMAO but i hate leaving things unfinished so I'll probably read it in one go once everything is out, if only to lament what could have been. Regardless, i really hope you'll keep the blog up after its end too bc you're always such a wonderful presence on my dash 🥰)

It's alright, it's interesting to get different perspectives on these things! It really does sound like a big annoyance too. I actually get the thing with short hair! A while ago I had mine super short too and used get annoyed by all the long haired reader fics.

[mcfiddlestan]

Fic Writer Questions

I'm bored and this was in a note on my phone from forever ago, so I must have been tagged at some point. Apologies to whoever tagged me. 🥴

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

52. Though, I used to have a few more. I deleted a few fics some years ago bc I hated that they were just sitting there unfinished. I was going through a particularly brutal bout of writer's block that affected both my fic writing and my RP writing.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

720,782. And I was stressing about a 30-page thesis. 😂 (which ended up being over 15,000 words)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I started writing fic in 2000 with *NSYNC, Christina Aguilera, and Backstreet Boys fics. I stopped writing a bit around 2004-2007 (because of a stupid boy) and picked it up again in 2012 after reading some awesome Cherik fics and wanting to write my own FrostIron College AU when I read one that was good, but kind of disturbing. I think I write for one fandom -- Marvel -- but, like different factions of it. FrostIron and WinterFrost mostly, with a dash of Stucky, ThunderFrost, DashingFrost, and WinterIron.

4) What are your Top 5 fics by kudos?

Black Light Special (WinterFrost) - 628 kudos

Can I Bum A Ride? (WinterFrost) - 425 kudos

Empire State of Mind (FrostIrom) - 420 kudos

Dark Side (FrostIron) - 398 kudos

A Worthy Collection (FrostIron) - 309 kudos

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really do make an effort to respond to every single comment, even the not-so-nice ones. I want people to know I've seen and read the comment they took the time to post, so even if I just thank them for reading and commenting, I respond.

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Considering it features two -- count 'em, two! -- major character deaths, it's definitely Empire State of Mind. Though, I'd argue Dark Side is a pretty close second.

7) What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Ghosts That We Knew. It was the final fic in the trilogy that is the Picture Perfect Series. It follows Loki and Tony from when they meet in college and ends 30+ years later.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No, not really. And I rarely, if ever, read them. There's no real reason behind it other than I've just never come upon one and thought "ooh I need to read that."

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got a lot of hateful messages after I completed Empire State of Mind. People were really angry at me for killing off two major characters. I mean, a lot of the messages were "omg I hate you but I loved this!" kind of vibe. But there were a few that cussed me out and called me names for writing it.

I had some chapters of a Fools Rush In FrostIron AU posted a while ago, in which Loki was a female, the only daughter in both the Odinson and Laufeyson families. Following the storyline of the Matthew Perry/Salma Hayek movie, Loki meets Tony Stark in a bar and gets pregnant from a one night stand. Anyway, I got a lot of messages telling me that Odin's misogyny and mistreatment of Loki was unrealistic -- even though I had literally modeled his behavior after the movie that inspired it. 🤷🏽

I have some prompts done for the 100 Ways to Say ILY writer's block challenge and for one of them, I borrowed the storyline from an episode of Will & Grace when Will's father dies of a heart attack after they have a bad argument where his father basically admits he wished Will wasn't gay so he could have had an easier life. In the epsiode, the fight starts because Will's parents gift his baby blanket to Grace, who is pregnant with her ex-husband's child. Will takes offense, they don't understand why bc he never mentioned wanting children, and a fight ensues. Similarly, in my fic, Frigga and Odin offer a pregnant Natasha (his BFF) Loki's blanket. Some readers did not like this and did not understand why I would write it. In another prompt, one that was literally how my last relationship ended, got some harsh critiques. Those ones hurt especially bc it was such a personal experience I wrote about.

And I actually got into a fight -- like a screaming match -- IRL with my best friend's boyfriend at the time. One of my bestie's friends asked about my fanfiction and I gave them the gist of one of my stories where Loki has a brief relationship with Sif that results in a child and later reconnects with Tony. Later on, Sif offers to be a surrogate for Tony and Loki and eventually births three more children for them. Bestie's boyfriend could not fathom why a woman would purposely get herself impregnated and then give the child away. I tried to explain that this was a thing that a lot of women did IRL -- and some don't even use their own eggs, but the eggs of a woman who cannot conceive; Sif used her own eggs so that all four children were half related (two by Loki, two by Tony). But he just did not believe me and told me I must not be a very good writer. Worst night of my life.

10) Do you write smut?

I was just telling @teadrinkingwolfgirl the other night how when I first started writing fic I did not write sex scenes. It was always inferred or glossed over. When I started writing again in 2012, for FrostIron, it was my first time writing more detailed sex. I cite Jackie Collins as my smut-writing mentor. I've written almost exclusively M/M smut.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Which is like the best thing ever! A couple of my older fics have been translated to Russian. I have one *NSYNC fic that was made into an audio fic. And someone recently messaged me on ff*net to ask to translate as many of my fics as they can to Spanish. :D

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not technically. I've gotten a lot of prompts and ideas from friends and mutuals, and I started reformatting my WinterFrost RP with my ex from 2014-2015 into novel form a while ago. That's tecnically the only thing I've written with someone else and published.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

I have two that will always, ALWAYS, have my heart and attention. FrostIron (Tony Stark/Loki) and WinterFrost (Bucky Barnes/Loki). They are the two ships that I write the most, read the most, and seek out fanart for the most.

15) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably The Flame. It's a fic that starts out ThunderFrost (not related; Asgardian Prince Thor semi-rescues an imprisoned Jotun Prince Loki) but eventually ends up FrostIron. It's the only fic I've ever written that features Loki with both male and female biology. I have a few chapters done but I haven't worked on it in years.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write realistic relationships. And I think my dialogue is also realistic and easy to grasp. And I put a lot of humor in between all the angst and hurt.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I get too detailed with background. I just reread my Picture Perfect series (which I do like once a year), and there are literal paragraphs of background that in Google Docs is like pages and pages. But I want to make sure people understand my characters! LOL

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm a big fan of it. I featured a lot of Norwegian in the Picture Perfect series. And French. I think as long as it flows with the storytelling and it's not forced on the characters it can be really cool. It should be natural. I always leave a translation list at the end of the chapter or explain in-text what was said. Which I think most authors I've read do.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Backstreet Boys. LOL. Don't judge. I started writing my own fics after discovering BSB fanfiction written by an author named Mistress Lynz. She wrote a lot of fics about bloodletting, but I really enjoyed the fics where the guys were hooking up with each other behind the scenes, LOL explains why I write mostly M/M now. 😂

20) What's your favorite fic you've written?

They're kind of like my babies so at different times different ones are my faves. But if I really had to pick one, I would say Stay With Me is my favorite. I got some of the most amazing comments on this story from people that found meaning and themes in the story that I didn't even realize I'd put in there. It was one of my first WinterFrost fics I'd posted and the response was more than I could have asked for.

And now I have to tag people! @teadrinkingwolfgirl @incredifishface @incubigirl @rabentochter @marvelswinterfrost and whoever else feels up to it.

xoxo

[this-is-my-main-i-follow-from]

i just sepnt WELL OVER AN HOUR working on stuff that doesn’t even work

I’m SO FUCKING MAD I WANT TO FUCKING KILL SOMEBODY preferably me & I’M ALSO APPARENTLY ON MY PERIOD? WELL NO WONDER I’VE BEEN DEPRESSED AS HELL THESE DAYS!

I honestly wonder what heppened i CANT EVEN FRICKING SLPEL what hallened to make me get emotional like this while menstruating. I never had this problem before. Al lmy weird emotions just came from the fact that I find them annoying & uncomforable & painful & groww & dysphoria inducing 

Well

Maybe my doctor will listen to me if I tellhim tht yeah my period makes my fricking suicidal it makes me want to relapse into self harm huh tht’s bad? well mabye you should let me transition then you crow begotten maggot filled barely wualified doctor!

I’m giving up on in trousers

in trousers is dead to me

so are whizzer (it’s funny bc he’s actually dead) & blowjobs & music & swing dancing

all gone

yy IT’S just me accidentally hitting the caps lock button instead of the a button because tha’ts thust what I need

This is why I want to fond a good drug dealer. I want to be able to control my anti depressants as I see fit & take extra stimulants when I need them & get access to blCK market testosterone & stuh up everyone around my what’s not even a song you’re just whistling nothingnessss

I just want to cry

but I never cry

so

well

too bad for me

maybe if ai can’t cry through my eyes i can cry through my skin

borine

ihate how I groip on to these things that happened whan I was a kid. like in 2nd grade I was the best speller & the teacher would sen kids to me to help them spell their words. I used to read nocels in one sitting by staying up all night just to read. I used to be flexible & thin & active & I could plaay on the moneky barfs & go climbing in the mountains but now I can’t to any of thar. It’s not even that in 2nd grade I was at 3rd grade level & now everyone in total is past 3rd grade level it’s that if I was  at 2nd grade level now i’m at 1st grade level. How is it that people get worse? it doesn’t maek any sense, ppl should be improving constantly that’s what makes a good story, scharacter growth, development, improvement. but of course then they get perfect & boring but you don’t want to undo all your work & besides people don’t go backwards so whu I am going backwards>

I somtedimes just want to die but I know that in general that’s not a good idea

but like

in times like this I see how much I’m astruggling instead of blinding myself to my issues with anti depressants & anti anxietyes & please jp shut the fuck up your whistling is so damn painful i forget what i was saying so I’ll just leave this here & maybe to idk watch youtube or write a fic or no none of that i don’t want to do anything I just want my things to be fixed but u know what even than I don’t think I would want to get back into working on it. im not particularly interested anymore fucking adhd i had the motivation to do smth I thought would be really cool but now looking back it’s not even that cool & it’s unfinished & it’s just iknda fully shitty overall and i need to use words because k an d i need to think m these sounds or say them otherkwise my mouth gets anxiety which doesn’t make sense but idk why i need to make d these sounds fuck this im just g so mad g k ng b d why i hate making useles sounds it doesn’t make sense why am i getting tics i thought I was done with those & moving bak on to some other side effects which b k g ng nmara ok kk kng move over in cycles bc the meds make no sense idk what i was saying but juct cux gkmnlrg siblings were talking 7 being annoying nobody can read this anymore esp w.o grammar & puinctuation hoh lool ka da na ma ga re fa rha la ya words i need to say lol why do I need o say them?? I wonder if I ever commit a murder I would be deemed insane? 

[flightsrsk]

hello hello all !!! my name is riley and this is my actual trash son maverick, aka the flight risk !!! i am so so hyped to get the ball rollin on this, so check out info on my kid under ze cut !!

warning: this got rlly mcfreaking long and i am so sorry fjdklsjs i am incapable of writing a short intro post

unfortunately i will not be able to be around for the official opening bc i’m on vacation w my fam and godparents, but i will try and intermittently read intros and chat to you guys about plots !!!! PLS feel free to bombard me through IMs or through discord if any plot sparks ur interest or u think mav could fit well in one of ur plots!!! :’)

THE BASICS

Name: Maverick Hobbes Braxton

Age: Twenty-one

Gender: Cismale

Pronouns: He/Him

Major & year: Philosophy, Third year

Faceclaim: Alex Fitzalan

Occupation: N/A

THE FLIGHT RISK

Maverick Braxton, as you might see, is an enigma—or rather, has evolved into one, slowly: a transformation that begun with his first breath. In his early years, the stage had been set for him, line by line. Act One: attend prep schools, excel in classes. Act Two: attend Covington, take center stage—you know, all of the things his older brother, Richard had accomplished with ease, just one year prior to all of his expectations. It was simple, really: a blueprint laid out ahead of him, with little to nothing in his way.

The only problem was that Maverick didn’t exactly see the point in choosing that path, that stage, that story. To him, it wasn’t challenging.

That, and the fact that the life laid out in front of him offered him absolutely nothing.

A series of banal expectations, unfair comparisons, and heartbreaking betrayals, and the traditional life of the Braxton child was thrown out the window—at least, in his brain, it was. See, Maverick Braxton, while independent, coy, and arrogant, isn’t stupid. He knows if he pleases his parents just enough, they’ll still distribute his trust fund and still bail him out of legal trouble when he inevitably tiptoes too far down the delicate line between ambition and rebellion. Perhaps it’s a bit selfish, but what does he owe to a family who paid him no attention, who never asked of his well-being, his own ambitions, his personal dreams?

He’s the kind of person to drive down the highway, windows rolled all the way down, cigarette lit—not because he necessarily likes the taste of nicotine, but because he likes the way the smoke creates clouds that obscure reality. He’ll surprise you in class when he interjects with a sarcastic but surprisingly salient point before throwing up his hood and retreating to the back corner for the rest of class. He’s the kind of person to start reading a book, flipping incessantly through the pages, both impatient by the pace of the plot, yet put it down before he reaches the final pages because he doesn’t want to be disappointed by the ending. He’s the kind of artist who rarely finishes a sketch, the writer who is never satisfied by a poem—for fear, of course, by deep-rooted insecurities that nothing that he will ever do will be enough.

A once-broken heart had taken time to mend, even though it seems ice-cold and whole from the outside. It’s why he has commitment issues: he doesn’t want to be burned again. He plays off his flirtatious bit as a personality trait, someone who is bored by the prospect of being tied down—and yet those who share his bed might consider him Covington’s most surprisingly deep pillow-talker.

An enigma, you see—one who doesn’t stick around long enough for anyone to truly understand, truly a Flight Risk.

BIOGRAPHY:

( You can read his full biography here! Still in the process of editing it a bit, but below are some important bullet points! )

Maverick was born the second of three children to the Braxton family—and as per usual with the Braxton children, he was born into a life filled to the absolute brim of expectation.

His father, a playwright, his mother, an actress. His brother, a theatre prodigy—what part did that leave him to play? The assumed expectations were to follow in his mother and brothers’ footsteps and take center stage; he excelled, for a while, but Maverick always felt lost.

Neighbors and family friends would always ask if he had measured up, in each and every shape and form: it was like the entire universe had a scoreboard with their names titling each section, and Maverick was always playing catch-up, never knowing where the finish line was.

For a while, he stuck to the script that was given to him: study, succeed, repeat. He tried to understand the ins and outs of his father’s work, of masterful acting techniques, trying to make a large enough splash to where his family would even notice the work he put into his life. Surprise: it didn’t.

It took him seventeen years to truly understand that his role in life was not exactly the story his parents had laid out for him, but rather, his sibling, instead.

Downcast emotions transformed quickly into cynicism. What used to make him feel sad now fueled a blue fire within Maverick’s chest, one that felt wronged by the system he was placed in: a complete first-world problem, but it was then and there when he decided to take advantage of his situation, given that he had spent his entire life dedicated to a part he wouldn’t play.

Hypocritical as he was, he still enjoyed the fruits of his parents’ work, cashing the unlimited checks with his name on them, as if it was some sort of sick version of love.

One piece of recognition that Maverick finally earned was an acceptance to Covington—and even that couldn’t be tainted by his brother’s success or his legacy status.

At Covington, Maverick has both lost and found his footing, multiple times. He’s quit acting, quit studying theater, in favor of a topic that stimulates his brain more than reading lines and

PERSONALITY:

Maverick Braxton is certainly a paradox. He’s charismatic, funny, and has a witty sense of humor –– and is generally appreciated by his peers because he’s able to move conversation and discussion without making topics seem dry.

Despite his apparent inferiority to his sibling, the Braxton family still breeds the cream of the crop. He’s certainly a bit arrogant sometimes, given that he’s intelligent, innovative, and clever, and wants to be recognized for it –– however, even if he might not show it on the outside, he appreciates a good challenger. He thinks it keeps his wit sharp, and of course, his ego would never show it, but he does appreciate learning from people. After all, his passion in philosophy, his current area of study, makes him certainly interested in how the world works.

Those who happen to get to know Maverick outside of the surface-level stuff, outside the initial cockiness and flirtatious front he puts on will know that he’s actually quite thoughtful. His lonely childhood has made him extremely loyal to those who have shown him similar trust and friendship –– he would never turn his back on them.

He asks probing questions, is a good listener –– perhaps because he’s interested in human decision making, but is also because he doesn’t quite know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally –– though he wants to.

Deep down, what almost no one knows is that he’s really quite soft. He passes his curiosity off as wanting to understand people, when really it’s a mechanism for hoping someone asks him questions in return, to give him the time of day he wished his parents ( and the rest of the goddamned universe ) had given him.

Despite his theatre prowess, he isn’t actually a particularly good liar. Those who spend enough time around him can hear his tone of voice incline slightly and see him scratch his brow.

AESTHETICS:

coffee-stained mugs, walking with headphones in but nothing playing, untied shoelaces, black hoodies, a cheeky smirk, small books in his back pocket, writing in the margins, unfinished poems, quoting old authors on a daily basis, incessant eye-rolling, pen ink stains, an unmade bed, mismatched socks, floral ties, empty bottles of liquor, rose thorn pricks, old worn poetry books, polished dress shoes, calloused fingers, unlit cigarettes between teeth.

HEADCANONS:

Funnily enough, Maverick’s name means ‘independent, a noncomformist’, which is exactly the path that he has taken to stray away from his family’s expectations.

He does have one strong connection to his family, though: his grandmother, on his father’s side. She understands the pressure he undergoes, who saw the pressure Maverick’s father endured to obtain the success he has. She is one of the only reasons that Maverick has not just jetted off to take on his own adventure. He loves her dearly, and wishes that her empathy and wisdom would rub off on the rest of his family.

Maverick has some form of synesthesia, which allows him to remember a lot more than the average person. He associates colors, smells, sounds, to words –– and allows him to efficiently study any subjects he doesn’t have immediate passion for.

In the privacy of his own bedroom, he sometimes writes poetry and sketches his thoughts and muses –– when he knows he’s in complete privacy. Faces and features that appear in his sketchbooks are often those he’s thinking of often, those who intrigue him. He’s actually quite good a sketching, maybe not quite as good at writing poetry.

His room is spotless –– evidence that he is a bit of a control freak sometimes. It shows that during his adolescence, he reveled in the parts of his life that he could control and perfect.

tw drugs. He more than dabbles in drug use, smoking marijuana maybe every other day, while partaking in harder drugs like cocaine and adderall and others probably once a week. He feels like he’s in control of his use, but it may start to get the best of him. end tw.

Maverick is left-handed. He hates that he gets pen ink stains when he draws, writes poetry, takes notes. His left palm is probably perennially covered with ink.

Though he’s often wearing headphones ( airpods, of course, the nerve of this rich kid ), half the time, nothing’s playing. Sometimes he forgets to press play on his phone, sometimes he purposely likes listening to decision-making and conversations of strangers. it lets him think about the nature of mankind.

Maverick’s favorite philosopher is Albert Camus, known for his work that heavily developed the idea of absurdism ( much to do with the meaning of life, and human inability to discern an answer ).

Maverick’s preferred method of transportation is his skateboard. he loved it first because his parents hated it: pushing himself around on a board like that would get him injured—besides, why not just take the car to school, the driver had been paid for anyway? It was his first taste of rebellion. Now at Covington, where skateboarding is far more efficient than walking across campus, it comes in handy when he sees someone he’d rather not stop and chat to.

Maverick could die with a poetry book nestled on his chest—it’s the one thing he got out of the impressive book collection his family owned. There was something daunting and beautiful about the way poems would transform metaphors into something fantastical, like the emotions were clearly there, but the words were skirting the issue. Kind of like how his parents would never really tell him they loved him.

Maverick often has headphones in when he walks to class. not particularly because he’s actually listening to music or a podcast, but rather because he’d just … rather not be bothered to stop and talk to people.

Maverick loves to draw. He’s mostly self-taught, with a bit of mentorship from his high school art teacher. Evidenced by the rest of his fleeting personality, he rarely finishes a sketch or painting. He claims he never has time to finish them, but the number of crumbled-up, half-finished sketches in his trash bin might say otherwise.

PLOTS

** see my wanted plots tag here too! // and my plots page here !!

* FIRST LOVE / OPEN.

It wouldn’t be easy to make Maverick feel like even more of a disappointment than he already had with his parents, his family—but your muse proved this feeling wrong. He loved them, more than he’d ever loved anything before. In the midst of confusion about where he belonged, he felt safe with your muse; he’d do anything for them. Things ended, he felt betrayed ( though the break-up could have easily been due to a fault of his ), and the split made him the one who now struggles fully with commitment. He doesn’t want to have his heart broken again. See: this entire pinterest board.

but also if u give me this ……………… i’ll name my firstborn after u

* BEST FRIEND / OPEN.

Those who go through similar childhood traumas are often able to understand each other –– that was how it worked with Maverick and your muse, at least. They’re thick as thieves — and have likely seen the ups and downs of Maverick’s life in real time.

* CHILDHOOD FRIENDS / OPEN.

Self explanatory—and also probably knows about the pressures the Braxton family imposes on their children.

* EX-FRIENDS / OPEN.

Friends who were close, close no longer. Maverick’s a real piece of work, and an asshole, too—there are myriad possibilities for why Maverick could have pushed them away. He wouldn’t openly admit that he misses being around your muse, but he certainly would feel a bit of guilt given that they’re no longer the closest of friends.

* MOMENT OF WEAKNESS / OPEN.

Your muse, in whatever unfortunate setting, saw a glimpse of Maverick’s soft side that hardly ever makes an appearance. He’s not going to let them tell the world about his vulnerabilities, though. Not a chance.

* DISLIKED / OPEN.

Maverick is sarcastic, cold, and sometimes emotionless. It’s not surprising that not everyone gets along with the middle Braxton. The possibilities are endless—throw in some sexual tension and I’d actually fall at ur feet.

* PREVIOUS ROOMMATES / OPEN.

Your muse, at one point, probably knew Maverick better than everyone else at Covington. They overheard some of his phone calls with his parents, saw his notes for how he was to achieve his life goals, heard him crying in the middle of the night when he thought your muse was asleep. They could be extremely close now, as in one of the few people Maverick opens up to, or could be distant friends who know about one anothers’ struggles. The possibilities are endless, tbh.

+ ANYTHING LEGITIMATELY ……… IF U THINK THERE’S POSSIBILITY FOR SOMETHING COOL W MAV AND UR MUSE. SIGN ME THE F UP. THANKS.

[alwaysraineh]

AY BABE! FOR THE FIC WRITER ASKS!!!! #2 #3 #37. I must know... 💖

BABE

THIS IS THE BEST I LOVE YOU 💕💖💝🥰🥰🥰

2.Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I have three words for you and that is ENEMIES. TO. LOVERS. I’m a big fan of blank to lovers tropes and I’m so so so deeply invested in friends to lovers and it’s honestly pretty much all I write but one day????? God I want to attempt enemies to lovers. Can you imagine?? The tension? The yearning? The pining? The absolute clowning buffoonery and dumbassery??? They think they hate each other but they are in fact in LOVE?????

.... so. yeah there’s that. oh and also coffee shop/flower shop/book shop au?? golden. haven’t attempted those yet but definitely gonna one day (also abo??? honestly really enjoy abo when its done right but my fear of writing it is mainly that it usually seems to be inherently a sex thing?? and i don’t tend to write sex things a lot much less publish them but like.... i have ideas for abo dynamics and idk how to explore that bc abo is viewed as such a sex thing)

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Anything to do with non-con/dub-con/incest, etc. I mean that’s dark but like... N.O. thank you. And that’s just on principle, I mean I avoid reading those things as well?? AO3 filters are godsends. I think they can be written tactfully and if it’s something you need to write to process trauma or something like that, go ahead!! I’ve never seen a fic that glorifies any of this (except the fact that I know of several fandoms with incest ships and I just.... *shudder*) which is good!! But it can go the wrong way too quickly and I personally enjoy processing my trauma through other forms of distress!!! I like to think I’d be up for attempting just about any trope as long as it isn’t inherently problematic, though!

37. Talk about your current wips.

Aha you’re calling me out aren’t you?? Yeah so pretty much everything I ever attempt ends up an unfinished wip BUT I SWEAR I’M GONNA FINISH THESE ONES because even if it takes forever I’m actually really into each of these concepts?????

Obviously just breathe (i will stay) is at the top of the list!!! It’s my only published wip that I have every intention of finishing in a (mostly) timely manner and it’s very dear to me in many ways, one of which is (obviously) you!! just breathe is a lot of self-indulgence with taakitz, in which both have ptsd but their trauma manifests differently and they have completely different manners of processing! I’ve got that subplot with the twins that’s honestly a lot of fun to write, esp the idea of nonromantic soulmates (particularly because, while romantic soulmates are fun, I wanted to avoid it entirely in this fic; I don’t want it to be seen as Krav and Taako ‘fixing’ each other’s trauma and love magically healing old hurts. They help each other, yes, and they are very much in love, but there’s no magical fix to ptsd and processing trauma and healing. You have to want it and you have to work at it, and that’s honestly the main theme of this fic, I think). ALSO I PLAN TO WRITE AT LEAST THREE MORE FICS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE because while I never finish things, I am a dirty gremlin who makes worlds that are just slighty too self-indulgent and then I don’t want to leave.

The rest of my wips (that i intend to finish) are unpublished. I want to get them to a point where I feel comfortable enough with their progress that I’m definitely going to finish them before I publish any of them lol but they include:

 - a Geraskier Witcher fic (ft. flowers and dramatic descriptions of Geralt’s eyes and Jaskier thinking, at one point, that Geralt has died)

- a Destiel Supernatural fic (fake relationship!!!! on GOD I’m gonna finish this one because I’ve never written fake dating and it kills me because it’s one of my all-time favorite tropes)

- two Nurseydex Check, Please! fics (one about hockey and sports injuries and realizing just how much people can mean to you; one about missed connections and reunions and heartache and coming to terms with falling in love all over again)

[musicaltincan]

so i’ve been doing this whole “draw a portrait of my oc silan” thing for a few years now, and having finally obliterated my streak of unfinished pieces this year, i thought now would be the perfect time to take a look at my overall improvement! 

click thru for little tidbits about each piece, and keep reading for some mushy reflective thoughts about my journey thru this v personal project of mine ❤

a lot has changed since i started this tradition back in 2014; originally, the point was to complete a digital painting start to finish in a single day, on may 16th each year. but the repetitive strain injury i’ve developed since then has made that, frankly, impossible. with my stubborn sense of sentimentality and need to follow my own rules as they were initially established, it was hard to convince myself that i needed to adapt and give myself the time i actually needed to finish. 

of course the result was a string of unfinished pieces and a lot of personal dissatisfaction. i tried giving myself a week instead of a day to finish. i tried making it a new year’s resolution to finish the dang portrait. all without success.

this year, i decided to cut the bullshit, buckle down, and really commit to finishing the project, no matter what. a lot tried to stop me: dips in motivation, having to take days off to rest my hand, feeling like i was gonna die trying to paint daffodils, etc. but more than feeling defeated by those complications, i wanted to see this project through, and i’m so so so glad and proud to say that i’ve finally succeeded!

it’s not perfect, but i’m definitely happy with how the 2019 portrait came out! i really tried to experiment with color this time and i’m particularly pleased with the softness of the colors in his face, hair, and in the daffodil leaves. i feel like i learned a lot from working on this and though i’m definitely ready for a rest, i’m excited to carry this momentum forward and make even better things in the future!

anyway! that was rly cheesy! thank you for following & enjoying my work! see u next year for the 2020 portrait!! 💖💖💖

[invelleity]

psst. be honest. all of the questions. go.

i can’t believe jeanette is tryina kill me in public and i’m still love her??? | not accepting anymoooore | @ltbroccoli​

cracks knuckles here we go ( odd numbers 1-9 are here )

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

Not very. It’s fun and cute and all, but I care a whole lot more about “clicking” with people and having fun writing with them.

Exception: If someone’s aesthetic is so overblown that I can’t even find the pages on the blog or read the text, I.....won’t interact with that tbh.

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

(kicks down my roommate’s door at 10pm) “OK so I’m writing— stop screaming, it’s me,— I’m writing a character in Security and you’re like a double black belt or some shit, can you explain how—”

( My roommates all know it’s a thing I do but I’ve never sent them a link or shown them any of the actual writing. They’ve met a bunch of y’all over like Rabbit streams and @rumdaydreams​ irl though so like.... They Know. )

More under the cut

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

Ehhh, depends on my mood. I lean towards female muses in general ( definitely got a bigger chunk of ladies on my list, for sure for sure ) but I love my boys.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

Uhhhh A) We’re all such dumb socially awkward blobs so it’s often hard to get to know new people.

B) The feel that if you have a good relationship with one person who writes a canon muse, it’s some kind of lowkey betrayal to write with other people who write the same muse??

C) How much I, a certified card-carrying dumbass, stress myself out about posting on a “regular” schedule. Does that count? Like I want the blogs to look “presentable” lmao and me@me Calm The Fuck Down.

10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

N / A

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

Uhhhh, when I first started was long enough ago and the community was so different a lot of those lessons no longer apply. I wish when I finally jumped over to Tumblr I’d realized quicker how the new like....basic ways of meeting people and posting and all worked, which was mostly just a “calm down and go with the flow more, let go of your stupid rigid old habits” lmaooo.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

yES. Yeah. Hahaha ha h. 

But ummm, not usually. No. Most of my drama has been either A) me posting the very very softest, most diluted version of barely-touching on my politics and my real goddamn life and people being fuckin butthurt as hell about or B) cutting people who were toxic and draining out of my life. So.

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

cw suicidal ideation ment

Yeah. Once I actually did — when I started college I just didn’t have the time, so I peaced from the larger community to just write with close friends for a while. I’ve also considered leaving the T.umblr RPC a few times, but really only because of long bad depressive episodes. Coming back and “not wanting to literally die irl ha Ha” and catching up with my drafts gets me back on track lmao. 

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

Positive! Sometimes I worry that I spend too much time wrapped up in fiction and miss my real life, but I’ve learned to keep my time more separate so now it’s just good to have a healthy hobby that makes me happy. Also I’m definitely a much better writer for it, and there a lot of networking skills I think translate to real workplace skills so it’s 👌

15. How has rp changed you personally?

See above, tbh. And it gives me a lot of good outlets for writing ideas that would otherwise stew in my head until I hated myself for never ever writing any lmao. It’s good.

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

Oh, I dunno. I wish I could post replies from mobile more easily, god. That’d keep me a lot more on top of my drafts lmao.

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

Not on any of the rp blogs. ;^)

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? 

No, wtf

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

Depends on the hate — things I feel need to be addressed or I want to be clear about not tolerating I’ll post. Personal hate and mean shit I delete.

Or if it’s stupid and makes me laugh I will definitely post that shit.

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

Sometimes. If a partner is actually pressuring me I’m real good at saying uhhh hey, fuck off about that? but sometimes partners will perfectly-innocently be enthusiastic about things I’m not super comfortable with and that’s harder to bring up. So it’s..... more like I pressure myself, whoops.

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

Ehh. Not really. Sometimes I’ll follow a friend of a friend despite lack of interest just because, like.... My friends are smart and good, maybe I’m just not getting the right “vibe” from their blog as who really they are. Sometimes that just means we never click and I unfollow them later. Or sometimes @rumdaydreams​ drags me straight to mutual hell and we write 20,000 unfinished bullshit and meet irl and she actually talks me into wholeass new blogs and muses. So, you know. Mix bag.

22. What would make you block someone?

Red flags for manipulation and lowgrade emotional a.buse, especially ones I viscerally feel in my stomach from previous experiences. Obvious r.ight-leaning politics ( Weirdly, I’m not particularly comfortable around people who don’t think I or my friends deserve to be treated like human beings! A character quirk, haha! )

Also ngl sometimes I block people just to remind myself I’ve followed them before and I don’t wanna re-follow them six times and look like I’m trying to intentionally harass them. My memory is bad but the block button always knows, lmao. 😅

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

Not intentionally — I try very hard not to steal hc from duplicates or take plots without asking. But, y’know, sometimes an idea sticks in your head and you eventually just forget where it originally came from.

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

Not that I’m aware of.

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

Absolutely, for the most part! I like seeing other perspectives, and especially since @thewrongsorts​ is such a bigass multi it lowkey just makes my life easier.

There are a few exceptions — less because they’re duplicates and more because there are hc/fanon I just......dislike enough I don’t wanna write with them. Not a feeling that’s limited to duplicates tbh.

26. How do you feel about vague posting? 

Ehhh. It’s like not a great thing, but I get the appeal. I tend to unfollow if someone posts a lot of it because then they’re just passive-aggressive as a person, but the occasional vagueblog I don’t mind. Sometimes you gotta get shit off your chest but you don’t wanna make it a wholeass call-out, I get it.

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

Generally I unfollow. I’m here to write, if we’re not interacting it’s clogging my dash. ( Honestly I unfollow mutuals eventually if we never write.... ) But very occasionally someone’s got such good #takes and hc that I stick around just bc I stan.

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

A l w a y s.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

It’s nice! Like.... I wouldn’t require anyone to do it, but it makes people feel better about their blogs, it’s polite. I know I’m happier getting memes as well as passing them along. You know, be social. Connect with people. I always try to practice it, yeah.

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

Uhhh, yeah. My irl social circles are a lot of dumb gay millennials, we use a lot of dumb internet slang.

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge?

Oh yeah! Joined Tumblr rpc ten years late with Starbucks! But also like.... I’m a web developer. 90% of my irl workskills are being good at Googlin’ shit. So I’ve pretty much always found the answer on my own, at least. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

32. Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? 

( See above. )

33. Have you ever experienced discrimination? 

Here or irl or....? I mean yes in any case, but much less often in the rpc specifically. This blog is a lot less outspoken ( both about politics or about who I....am....generally ) than most of my others or me irl.

Shoutout to that time I complained one (1) time about how copacetic the H.arry P.otter rpc is and an actual irl n.eon.azi jumped in my inbox lmaooooooo.

34. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

Uhhh, I don’t love it? But if they mostly chill and don’t fuck with my actual threads I usually ignore them. ¯\_( ‘ ‘ )_/¯

35. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

No. I’m not like......good at crying. 😐

36. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

Depends on the blog. Some multis I follow are in fandoms I just like don’t even understand, so I don’t read those. Sometimes I just don’t got the energy. But I read a lot of my friends’ other threads or threads on blogs I stan.

Good writing is good shit and I’m.....a big 👀 bitch. Tbh.

37. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

Call-out posts, bringing real life politics into rp, generally acknowledging that we have lives outside of the fictional world that affect how we read and interact with fiction.

( 👏 The O.rder 👏👏 of the 👏 P.hoenix 👏👏 is A.ntif.a 👏👏👏 )

I don’t want to ever push that onto other people though, definitely. (Especially people affected by terrifying irl politics and coming here for escapism. )

38. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

Always 👏👏 tag 👏👏 fucking 👏 triggers 👏👏👏

I tag things that are common or obviously upsetting, and if someone asks I add whatever tags they need to my list — the “list” is mostly a mental tally so I occasionally fuck up, but god I feel strongly about triggers.

Let 👏 people 👏 who are hurting 👏👏 live. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

39. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

Poking around to see how other people seem to “operate” and scrolling through posts about how to get started is so so so fucking helpful! Don’t be afraid to do it!

Also reach out to people as much as you can work up the spoons to. If they’re rude back to you, like..... They were never worth your time anyhow. You dodged a bullet.

( Value yourself 2k19 )

[pumpkins-s]

Shitpost prompt if you want- Loraine still hangs around in afterlife and Holt siblings can see and hear ghosts :3c

I know you intended this as a shitpost but dear christ did this get sad really quickly

Like

Ok so Ghost Seeing (Medium?? I’m sure there’s a good word for this but I’m too lazy for google) Pidge, who comes from a family that just kind of Does This. It seems ironic to her given how tech oriented they all are, and she doesn’t consider herself particularly good at Ghost Related Activities, but whatever. Regardless, she understands the basics of the hows and whys of ghosts -- most commonly that they’re either someone not ready to let go of a loved one, and will generally eventually fade away once they see that person Doing Ok and Moving On, and the trickier ones that are the classic “i have unfinished problems/business and can’t leave till it’s solved” 

Obviously she scrupulously avoids the latter if nothing else and since no one close to her ever has a ghost it’s like?? ok?? it’s fine?? she can handle this

And with ghosts, the more faded they are, the closer they are to moving on. The more solid they are, the longer they’ll be around, for one reason or another

And then there’s Lance

Lance, who has the strongest ghost she’s ever seen, a girl that looks just like him and is so solid she almost looks real. So much so that the first time Pidge sees her she has to do a double take bc she nearly thought that was a Real, Living Person

This, Pidge concludes, must be someone Lance quite recently lost, a ghost that will fade over time -- so she feels bad enough that he’s Clearly Dealing With Stuff And Hiding It to cut him some slack on how annoying and/or frustrating he can be for a while when they first start working together

Except months pass and this ghost is Still There, with no signs of going anywhere, so eventually Pidge decides Lance’s ghost must be someone with unfinished business with him, and just confronts the thing after a Team Movie Night once Lance and Hunk are passed the fuck out

“I can see you” she tells the ghost, and waits to deal with the inevitable freakout, but the ghost just smiles sadly and says “I know”

“Who were you?” she asks it, because it is not an are, it is a were. Ghosts are just leftovers, not full people anymore“I am Lance’s sister.” Am, it insists regardless. Am. 

“Why are you here?” Pidge asks, and then, because she’s supposed to do the duty that comes with her ability: “How can I help you pass over?”“I can’t. He needs me.” I need him, Pidge hears unspoken.

And Pidge hates dealing with ghosts but this is for Lance dammit, so she tries. She tells it that Lance is happy, that she sees him talk with his family and he has a great friend in Hunk, so the ghost doesn’t need to worry anymore

“You don’t understand.” It tells her. “He’s never been alright. He changed and he got hurt so many times and it’s all my fault.”

It’s ok, she tries to tell it. Lance will heal -- already is healed, as far as Pidge can tell -- and the ghost doesn’t have to stay.

“I won’t leave,” it says. “Not until he can come with me.”

No ghost can wait that long, Pidge tries to tell it gently. They get a year, maybe two -- unless they have unfinished business -- enough time for most people to heal and move onThe ghost tells her it’s been here for six. 

“You must have unfinished business then,” she tells it, confused.“Yes,” the ghost says. “I promised him I’d always be there, I can’t break a promise.”

(Over time, Pidge learns its... her name was -- is Loraine. She likes astronomy and watercolor paints and the beach. She is 19.)(She loves all her family, especially her sisters and cousin...she loves Lance more.)