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wholesome-revelry · 5 years ago

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fic: “Long-Term,” Aziraphale/Crowley, outsider POV | 1.6K, G

(Nominally a sequel to this)

Officiating weddings has got to be one of Dr. Blackwell’s favorite parts of ministry, and although she’s probably not supposed to have preferences, if she looks deep into her jaded lesbian heart with any degree of honesty, queer weddings are by far the best.

Take, for instance, the couple she’s consulting with this afternoon, for their upcoming October ceremony. Seemingly mismatched in every respect. The plump, fair-haired one looks like a parody of an absent-minded professor, as sketched by someone who didn’t bother to do much actual research; his clothes are so outdated it teeters on costume. He’s wearing a bowtie, and not in that reinvented hipster way. This is a bowtie unacquainted with the cycles of fashion, a bowtie that has never heard the word irony.

His partner is a rangy, black-clad ginger in snakeskin boots. He has the look of a hungover rocker about him, and would somehow, even without the sunglasses he has fully committed to wearing indoors on a cloudy afternoon. He’s sprawled almost defiantly in his chair and keeps throwing dubious glances around Dr. Blackwell’s office, as though expecting a lightning bolt to strike him down for merely daring to be within spitting distance of a church.

Everything about his posture screams ‘Extremely complicated feelings about religion ahoy!’

Ex-Catholic, Dr. Blackwell thinks sagely.

Something funny about their names, too. Their names are--

They’re--

(She knows they both gave her their names, but as she looks at their faces, there is a curiously name-shaped hole where the sounds should go. Every time she approaches the edges of this thought, it ripples and changes shapes, and whispers, ‘Don’t worry now, it’s really of no consequence, is it?’

Dr. Blackwell didn’t get a degree in Unitarian Universalist theology by looking away from paradoxes. ‘Curiosity is earthly and holy and wonderful,’ she tries to tell the thought, pushing forward, ‘even to question truly is an answer--’

‘Ah yes,’ the thought says after her third attempt, ‘very nice, but in this particular case--’ and the absence where their names should be yawns, stretches, and swallows down all of her related concerns with a shrug.)

She blinks. She watches as Bowtie casually takes Sunglasses’ hand, as Sunglasses responds with a look so gooey and sweet and private that she feels a bit weird for intruding. How, she thinks, the fuck did you two meet?

The only thing they seem to have in common, beyond their feelings for each other, is a certain aura of personal disaster. Still, let she whose outfit doesn’t heavily feature Birkenstocks and cat hair throw the first stone. So to speak.

“So,” says Dr. Blackwell, “anything in particular I should know first? Any thoughts, or concerns?”

“The hymns,” says Bowtie, “or. Uh. The songs, I suppose?” He coughs. “Any chance we could stick with ones that don’t, you know, prominently feature--?” He pointedly casts his eyes towards the ceiling and almost seems to mutter, “No point in asking for trouble.”

“Oh, of course,” she says, shaking off the flash of weirdness like an errant cobweb. “We have plenty of non-denominational hymns.”

“About what,” Sunglasses says with a slight sneer. “Tax forms? Penguins? Automotive repair?”

Oof. Definitely an ex-Catholic, she thinks. You can smell the baggage from here.

“Mostly about the inherent holiness in doing good, or the beauty of nature?” says Dr. Blackwell. “Sometimes, someone will sort of retrofit a classical melody to Transcendentalist poetry, but those tend not to scan so well, in my opinion.”

Somehow, without any eye contact, Sunglasses manages to give her a wary look.

“You can borrow a hymnal if you’d like,” she continues. “We tend to edit out the G-word anyway. Makes the atheists and the agnostics a bit jumpy, me included.” Bowtie starts.

“You don’t,” says Sunglasses, “believe in--?”

“Not really,” says Dr. Blackwell. “Suppose I’ll allow for the possibility, but in my mind, the existence of some divine Heavenly will is just not as important as other questions. Like ‘How do I do what’s right for the planet and everything on it?’”

“How do I avert the apocalypse,” Sunglasses murmurs.

“Exactly,” she says with a laugh, “although I’d settle for doing something about Brexit.”

Neither of them laugh, and after an awkward pause, she adds,

“As far as music goes, for the ceremony. If you’ve got a song that really resonates with you, no matter what it is, let me know and we can work that in.”

“No Queen,” says Sunglasses immediately.

It feels like there should be a story here, but Bowtie only turns to him and says, “What was that band you liked? Velveteen--”

“We’re not playing Velvet Underground at our wedding,” Sunglasses says.

“Same thing goes for readings, too,” says Dr. Blackwell. “If there’s a text that holds special meaning--”

“Hm,” says Bowtie, “yes, about that--” He reaches to his side and heaves an antique leather briefcase onto her desk. “May I?”

“Of course.”

Bowtie fiddles with the latch, which clicks open to reveal a mountain of papers: wine-stained cocktail napkins and looseleaf notebook pages, parchment-looking stuff, and everything in between. It’s a veritable avalanche of love poems, as well as quotations from various plays and books, all laboriously hand-copied in the same tidy penmanship.

“Angel,” says Sunglasses slowly. “What is this.”

Pink-cheeked, Bowtie flutters his hands. “Just--some things I’d been setting aside!”

“For how long,” Sunglasses says, leaning forward. He sounds delighted but also deeply confused.

“So sorry,” Bowtie tells Dr. Blackwell, “I really should’ve organized these better! Even a rudimentary system--”

“It’s fine,” she says, blankly. She really hopes it isn’t going to be her job to narrow down the options. There are literally hundreds.

“How long,” Sunglasses repeats.

“You know how long!” hisses Bowtie.

Sunglasses plucks a sheet off the pile, rubs it between his thumb and finger. “They stopped making paper like this in the nineteenth century,” he says, sounding strangely triumphant about it.

Dr. Blackwell furrows her forehead, where a number of facts are colliding uncomfortably inside, like how some of these specimens are clearly very new, some are so old she’d be uncomfortable touching them with her bare hands, and the handwriting on every one of them is identical.

“Oh!” she says with sudden bright clarity. “Are you two vintage paper enthusiasts?”

“Yes,” says Bowtie. “Love it, love the stuff, simply cannot get enough.” And then, to Sunglasses, with a pointed look in Dr. Blackwell’s direction, “We’ll talk about it later.”

Maybe they met at a convention, she thinks. That’s nice.

“How about you pick out your top five first?” she suggests. “Or ten.” She glances down at the mound of text. “Also, we might need to get some volunteer readers for some of these, because my French isn’t exactly up to par. Or my--is that Middle English?”

“Haha, how did that get in there, couldn’t even begin to guess,” Bowtie babbles. He has to brace most of his weight on the briefcase lid to wrench it closed again. Sunglasses watches with interest, chin resting in his hands. “Yes, I will, I will absolutely weed some of these out, not to worry--”

The rest of the conversation is standard, for the most part. It’s going to be a relatively small ceremony, no child ring bearers and thankfully no animal ones either. (They have a whiff of eccentricity that had made Dr. Blackwell nervous one of them might suddenly produce a cat on a leash, insisting it was trained. In her experience, granting your beloved calico or tabby custodianship of the rings was a quick recipe for a ringless, catless wedding.) Only a shared stricken look at the possibility of involving any parents in the proceedings.

This, sadly, is also quite standard with older queer couples.

“Between you and me,” says Dr. Blackwell, “and I know this isn’t very ministerial of me. But if the people who raised you don’t support what you have together, which is clearly a wonderful and beautiful and life-affirming thing, I say to Hell with ‘em, you know?”

Bowtie chuckles unsteadily. “I’ll take that under advisement.”

“How long have you two been together?” she asks.

Bowtie and Sunglasses stare at each other. There is a long beat of silence. This is normally, she thinks, not a very hard question.

“How long have we been together?” says Sunglasses at last. The shades may hide his eyes but every molecule of his being is oriented at his fiance. “Hm?”

“Six thousand--” Bowtie starts, resolute.

“What,” says Dr. Blackwell.

“Days!” Bowtie finishes. “Six thousand days!”

“So,” she does some fast mental math, “about sixteen years, then?”

“Yes,” says Bowtie decisively.

“That’s great,” says Dr. Blackwell. “I’ve been with my wife for almost six years, I hope we’re still this much in love a decade from now.” There’s just something so reassuring about meeting older queer couples, she thinks. Bowtie and Sunglasses must be at least forty. Maybe fifty?

(It’s odd; they’re clearly solid, clearly sitting in front of her, but every time she tries to clue into any specific detail about either of them, her mind sort of skitters away from it--

Her head hurts.)

“Guessing you want a short service,” she says, rubbing at her forehead. “I’ll just write out a few remarks for you two to look over first, if that’s alright? I can email something to you by the end of the week.”

“Sounds perfect!” says Bowtie.

They shake hands. She watches them leave, watches Sunglasses mutter something in Bowtie’s ear that makes him smile on the way out the door.

Pair of oddballs, but in a nice way, she thinks. You can’t always tell, as a minster, which couples are going to make it in the long run, but she hopes this all works out for them. Maybe it will. They’ve already stood the test of time, it seems.

Sixteen years--they’ve been together since early 2000.

Imagine, she thinks. Just imagine.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #codename pending #sort of a pre-marriage fic #99% fluff and 1% soft eldritch horror #not sure about ao3ing this one bc it's just so self-indulgent

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sanguinarius-archive · 5 years ago

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im not that familiar with treatsforbeats i watched like. a few videos but other than that i know nothing! but i would be glad to hear you info dump!

there is SO MUCH..... im gonna put a read more below because this turned out to be way longer than i expected. but you asked for me to infodump so here goes

okay so. treatsforbeasts, i dont know what the whole meaning behind the channel is. i cant specifically say what the goal of the channel’s content is because its all in my interpretation. but i do know that there are meanings behind each video as silly as it may seem and im just gonna list them off here (note that not all videos will be included since i may not be able to interpret every one, also this is going from earliest to most recent)

1. men with small hands carry very little treats to give to little girls with the sharpest little teethinterpretation of this video is csa/child sex trafficking. “little treats” refers to pills or some form of drug (small, makes u trip). however the “sharpest little teeth” could represent the little girl fighting back.

2. mom ordered ants for my birthdaychild abuse. mother forces son to watch and/or possibly engage in inappropriate activity with her husband.

3. i love jesusobviously a dark parody of christianity/catholicism. shows how blindly some fanatical christians/catholics will follow their beliefs, to the point where they no longer truly “follow” it as theyve warped the message to fit their own morbid desires (using christianity/the bible to excuse hatred and judgment upon others).

4. i me you love godanother dark parody of christianity/catholicism. i believe it mocks how fanatical christians/catholics focus only on the negative aspects of the bible instead of learning the true messages, as many of the words used are from the bible and are negative words.

5. behdsPROBABLY just a silly video but, i think it represents how people let negativity embed itself into their lives and complain about it even though it’s so easy to just let go of it.

6. jaffreymocking some sitcoms for how dumb and repetitive they can be.

7. kiss papa’s mustachepossibly child abuse, again.

8. storytimereferences/implies child abuse. storytime is also the name of one of treatsforbeasts’ songs on his Sanguinarius - Sin Nomine album.

9. hymns for him (1 + 2)just total parody albums of christian rock. vocals make you feel like youre dying but its actually kinda good to listen to in some parts

10. i screaming inside my headRoii (the character)’s first appearance. also probably symbolizes how depressing some kinds of music are

11. felines have nine livesnot sure but i feel like this is a warrior cats reference, in complete and total honesty (dont watch it if you dont like c/at d/eath though, its fictional but. yeah)

12. beastsreflection of society as a whole

then there’s. the two short films and sin nomine. so i’m gonna delve into that now and be warned, it’s fuckin long

treatsforbeasts is the self-titled short film and the first longest video on the treatsforbeasts channel. basically what i get from this is that treatsforbeasts, the channel itself, symbolizes an actual channel that chauncy (the child character in the short film, who is portrayed as a literal oral fleshlight with a body) watches. he consumes these concepts, such as internalizing misogyny (claw-paw skit), toxic masculinity (can i like balloons skit) and being exposed to a normalization of christianity (heaven and hell skit). there’s also a skit in which a spider binge eats and then proceeds to throw it up, which chauncy actually mimicks when his father brings him food.his father very much disapproves of these messages being shown on tv. he tells chauncy in regards to the claw-paw skit, when chauncy belittles the female character, “that’s not very nice, now is it”, and says “you can like ballons, you can love balloons if you want to”. his father goes on long tangents about how many institutions have normalized and inherited the concepts of christianity, and that it is one of the contributing factors of violence in the world. he references colonization, the holocaust, and in general mentions minorities.we learn that the father actually ended up being a father to chauncy in the first place due to (nsfw tw) masturbating in a sock to a picture of robert smith, and 9 months later chauncy was born. so technically there is no mother. the father talks about the meaning of life, and how everyone on the inside is a little bit of a freak, but there’s only two real ways you can accept that: 1) realize that your freakishness gives you a special lense through with you see the world and aid it in the ways the sane and happy ones probably cant, and 2) realize that real way number 1 is just lying to itself and that youre still a somewhat integral part of the lives of those you care for so deeply. he says that choosing which way to live really reverts back to the meaning of life, that you cannot live day by day believing there’s no reason to. “but whatever reason you give yourself to live, [...] you do it, because it is correct to live.”

sin nomine comes after the first short film, but i’ll delve into that after because really it touches on many many of the points and interpretations here.

the second short film, the beast is dead, was released just this year on valentines day! i think the main focus of the short film ranges from relationships to just once again a mockery of christianity/catholicism. once again it starts off with a father and his son. there is no mother figure present though she’s said to have left, due to the father watching too much “birdies”, a show, which i think is a metaphor for porn addiction. the father is implied to being prone to neglecting the son’s wants and not really caring for him, being disappointed in him, etc. etc..something important about the beast is dead is that it uses masks to portray those who are “followers” and those who are not. the father, interestingly enough, does not wear a mask. he seems to acknowledge what his son is saying when he goes on philosophical rants as well, but disregards them as nonsense and ends up leaving after bonking him with the stupid spike (metaphor for how parents will shut their children up by giving them a phone or toy to play with).the three other characters who don’t use masks in the beast is dead are Roii, Tom, and Doctor Zoughth (pronounced Zoth). Roii makes a comeback, finally! but this time he’s singing a song called “i love the sound of screaming babies”. it symbolizes how men will impregnate women and then run off, whether or not because they fantasize about pregnant women. it could also be a want of seeing a hurt child (hence the line “i know that all of you watching must think i’m insane, for loving when something so innocent is in so much pain”).however another interesting factor is that, the characters who don’t have masks, aside from Tom and the father, have red eyes at some point. this is a metaphor for how they’ve lost their humanity. Roii, at some point in the music video scene, only has one red eye whereas his other is normal. this hints at how part of him has lost his humanity while the other is still in tact.the other character that has red eyes is Dr Zoughth, but instead of him having only one red eye, both his eyes are red. this doesnt show until later though when he’s taken Tom away from the masked characters (followers). Dr Zoughth is very much self-aware. he is not blind, but simply has lost his humanity. Tom tries to reach out to him, to get him to think differently, that maybe resorting to coping with emotional struggles by worshipping something simple like flesh or something more higher than himself and forgetting his own mortality isn’t the healthiest way to live. but Dr Zoughth, having been long gone already, does not accept this and executes Tom.his own personal disciples grow tired of his tyranny and kill him and perform a ritual of some kind, disposing of his body (in the river i think, not sure). this entire ending of the film is basically the title, the beast is dead. but, i believe the beast is not dead, personally, because someone like Zoughth will always live on in other people, other beasts.there’s also a scene called grandma hespar and i think it implies how little people focus on sexual abuse towards men (when it’s from women).

anyways, with that being said, it’s time for sin nomine.

so now that i’ve explained pretty much all of treatsforbeasts to you, and whoever else is reading, it’s clear that the person behind this has issues with christianity (or catholicism), and child abuse. the person behind treatsforbeasts is Jordan Diniz, as he is also the person behind sanguinarius.

sin nomine is a very personal reflection of jordan’s life from what i gather. it depicts his struggles with how he views the world around him, whether that be due to personal experiences or not. at first i interpreted most of sin nomine to be the story of someone who is lgbt, but with jordan himself coming to me and telling me he is straight (POLITELY), it’s clear that is not the case.

so it most likely has to do with trauma. either religious or not, or both. it even says in the song storytime (remember i mentioned it earlier?), “fast hand, white hot trauma, reverberates inside the skull. innocence and intellect raped, reveals a view of a darker world. flesh on flesh, the bonds of affection - confused for the bonds of submission and fear. self-hatred and mistrust repel all beauty that comes near.” i don’t like to say that this solidifies a personal experience, but it’s highly possible.

a lot of sin nomine kind of goes over the same points in different ways, but it makes you think. i definitely feel like something happened to jordan at some point in his life but that is his story and it’s not my place to truly tell, since i don’t know him personally.

there’s also the other channel, adrianturcher. it has videos with seemingly no real purpose except for there being two videos with the same names of two songs on sin nomine, “nex memoria” and “a fetish for psychos”. nex memoria is just a compilation of clips that seem to symbolize the process of death (nex memoria is a latin phrase which very roughly translates to “memory’s death”). a fetish for psychos is a bunch of old clips from parties and shows that possibly jordan himself attended. they’re from 2002 judging by the date in the video. the lyrics in the song “a fetish for psychos” also seem to hint at these events, so it’s possibly that it’s like looking back on happy memories that make you feel sad instead or something. the song also might possibly reference a mother at the beginning.

sanguinarius also has its own channel simply called sanguinarius. there’s the music video for divine comedy (one of the songs on sin nomine) and a cover of because you’re young by david bowie, posted on his birthday a year after his death.

anyway, that’s. pretty much all i have to say. jordan diniz is a fuckin’ mastermind, he’s really good and cool and he’s very kind from my experience talking with him a couple times. he supports the gays as well!

sooooo, treatsforbeasts does have some very creepy/unsettling moments in its content but its EXTREMELY good and i recommend getting into it if you can. 100/10

#asks #tfb #treatsforbeasts #sanguinarius #ok 2 rb #deerlcorn

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biboocat · 4 years ago

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The half-believer: Pico Iyer on Graham Greene

by Chris Herlinger

March 14, 2013

To what can we ascribe the durability of Graham Greene as not only a literary figure but a figure “within people’s heads”?

That may arise out of his gift for intimacy on the page, the sense of vulnerability his characters incarnate and the fact that he seems to be as open in his fiction as he was guarded in real life. His novels read like confessionals, and to that extent they may speak to many readers—of any faith or none.

I was stunned at how many writers have been possessed by Greene, for better or worse. Paul Theroux, John Banville, Gloria Emerson and Alan Judd all wrote novels haunted by figures clearly based on Greene, who stands sometimes for prophetic wisdom (in Theroux’s Picture Palace) or moral clarity (in Emerson’s Loving Graham Greene), sometimes (in Banville and Judd) for almost demonic mischief making. David Lodge dedicated an early novel to Greene and yet included a parody of Greene in that same novel. Greene’s official biographer, Norman Sherry, who spent 27 years trying to catch Greene, seemed to end up as Greene the figure of self-doubt and failure, not Greene the fearless adventurer (whom perhaps he’d hoped to become).

Is there a core to Greene’s work?

I think it’s precisely the fact that Greene doesn’t sit easily or simply within any religious tradition that allows him to speak to so many. He read theology constantly and always refers to God, but it’s a God he doesn’t always claim to know and often doesn’t even claim to believe in. He called himself a “Catholic agnostic” and often said that he had faith (the emotional pull that for many lies at the heart of religion) but not belief (the rational conviction).

To me, he always placed kindness before anything, and many of his novels are illustrations of how anyone can act compassionately and with understanding, even if faith is flagging. The whisky priest in The Power and the Glory famously does everything possible to violate the letter of his creed—drinking, taking on a mistress, being negligent in his duties—and yet in a moment of crisis acts with self-sacrifice and devotion, embodying the spirit of his faith in a way that even a cardinal or saint might envy.

Did Greene redefine what it might mean to be a religious person in a world without a set of defined markers?

As I see it, Greene was extending a forgiving hand toward even the most fallen person and noting how even if we—as he—can never quite make it to the belief we want, we can still try to act from the sense of compassion and sympathy that faith speaks for. If nothing else, he seemed to believe that religion gave stakes to events and turned right and wrong into a matter of good and evil.

If Greene could never be a perfect Catholic, he was certainly always much further from a nonbeliever’s position, and even tougher on cynicism or disengagement. More than almost any writer I can think of, Greene was fascinated by goodness—and peace and kindness—even though, and sometimes because, he felt those qualities weren’t his. His books could be said to be hymns to selflessness and purity written by one who longed for those graces but felt he had never deserved them.

He disarms us because he comes at faith through the back door, through the sinner rather than the saint and by stressing humanity rather than holiness. But if you pursue those deeply enough and steadfastly enough you can arrive at a man giving up his life for others.

You’ve said that Greene the Catholic doesn’t interest you because that role was not of interest to him at the deepest level. Yet it’s impossible to talk about him without talking about religion.

I would say he is the poet laureate of the half-believer, or of the person who longs for belief, and most of his work takes place in that shadowland where the man of faith suddenly encounters doubt and the nonbeliever is suddenly shaken by something that looks very close to a miracle or an act of faith.

Greene did famously convert to Catholicism in his early twenties in order to marry his devout wife Vivien (who had first written to him because he had misrepresented an aspect of the Virgin Mary); but I would say he took the church into his life as he took his wife: both became frequent sources of solace and guidance and inspiration but also frequent antagonists, whom he deserted and treated badly.

The day after the mass shootings in Colorado last year, I heard some people say that they could never do what that shooter did. I don’t agree—I think good people have the capacity to murder. And I think that’s a perspective Greene would share.

A Greene character isn’t a churchgoer who says, “I could never act like the devil.” Rather, he’s a self-proclaimed (self-chastised) nonbeliever who says, “I could never act like a saint”—and then does so, almost in spite of himself. Greene is always reminding us of how little we know of one another. And intentions in his work are slippery, which is why he keeps on flaunting his paradoxical belief that good motives can be the quickest way to hell. Greene shows imperfect men transcending themselves.

Were he writing of the terrible tragedy in Colorado, Greene wouldn’t concentrate on the deranged killer; he would describe a man taking his girl-friend to the movies, even though he’s not faithful to her—and is on the brink of breaking up with her and is secretly texting some new love. And then, when the violence breaks out, Greene would show that man giving up his life to save the girlfriend he no longer loves.

#graham greene #pico iyer

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divinationdeviations · 5 years ago

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The Infernalistic March

**DISCLAIMER: this is a parody of a song written by Anton Lavey, there are many, MANY aspects of Mr Laveys teachings that are very WRONG. I simply find his song "Hymn to the Satanic Empire" very inspiring and I'd like to add a bit of modern satanic flair. Enjoy!!!**

Drums out of the darkness, listen well!

Drums rolling like thunder, straight from hell!

Ave Satani, the times come round,

The children of satan claim their ground!

Theres a land, that's green.

Theres a land, that's free.

With plenty for you, and plenty for me!

But the pretenders sheep, wouldnt let it be!

We dont need them, anymore!!

Once there was an age, for simple minds.

Once there was an age, to save mens souls.

Fools were forced to stay in line.

Filthy charlatans saw those goals!

With their holy writ, and secret sins.

They could lock their inner demons into the paper prisions, e'vn a paper cell.

We won't let them do that, anymore!

Furies from hell, are diving down, LEX TALIOUDIS, is their cry!!

Even though villains, make the law:

JUSTICE SHALL BE SERVED THOUGH FANG AND CLAW.

With our fists of steel, well slash askew:

RIGHTEOUS: Catholics, Jehohvas witness, mormons, too!

For they've become a plague, so let's start anew, we dont need them, anymore!!

Drums out of the darkness, LISTEN WELL!

Drums rolling like thunder, straight from hell!

Trumpets are blaring, your times come round.

Satan is here, to put you down!!

With our Morningstar, in your deepest night:

We smash your crumbling temple, FOR RIGHT IS RIGHT.

Let the ignorant zombies, hide from light, and well thrive forever, mooooooore!!

#satanic witch #satanist #satanism #satan #theistic satanism #anton lavey #parody #poem #satanic #satanic poetry #exmormon #exmo #antimormon #anti mormon #anti christian #antichrist #infernalism

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graham-greene · 3 years ago

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This article wonderfully explains the appeal of Graham Greene to believers and nonbelievers alike.❤️

The half-believer: Pico Iyer on Graham Greene

by Chris Herlinger

March 14, 2013

To what can we ascribe the durability of Graham Greene as not only a literary figure but a figure “within people’s heads”?

Is there a core to Greene’s work?

Did Greene redefine what it might mean to be a religious person in a world without a set of defined markers?

#graham greene #pico iyer

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lakeeriesaltmine · 8 years ago

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Things that Catholic schooling is supposed to do:

-Introduce us to God

-Keep us from sinning

-Teach us right from wrong

-make sure we get a good education

Things Catholic schooling actually does:

-Ruin at least one hymn for us a year

-Create a lot of parodies for the hymns

-Teach us how to avoid the guilt of doing things we shouldn’t

-Teach us how to rebel the right way

-Teach us how to cuss like a sailor without getting caught

-Teach us how to properly scream at opposing teams and rival schools

-Teach us how to rely heavily on getting good grades

-Teach us how to not deal with our issues in healthy ways because let’s face it none of the adults care if we have crippling anxiety.

-Teach us how to rely on our friends more than adults because the adults aren’t going to do anything

-Teach us how to slam a girl’s head into the wall properly

-Teach us how to value a good fight

-Teach us how and where to get various drugs in the heart of a Catholic neighborhood

#plz add more #catholic schooling

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musingmelsuinesmelancholy · 1 year ago

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Ave, fonticuli Stella.

Asteriá mater Alma

Fons magicea

Felix Caeli porta

Felix Barathrum porta

Summens illude Ave

Qoud Serpens locutus est

Salutans nomen Evæ

Ruptor catenis

Profer lumens caecis

Mala nostra pelle

Bona cuncta posse

Ostende te osse Regina

Sicut aquas divina

Reflectunt stellarum

Preces nostras portare

Regina omnia recedens

In lunares salutem

Patients tempus, calendariis

Supra

Infra

Tenebris aquis

Nox caelum speculum

Gloria tribus in uno

Parody of the hymn “Ave Maris Stella”

Despite years of catholic schooling my Latin is shit so doubtless the grammar is off haha.

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chastityizzo3-blog · 7 years ago

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Christianity Articles Coming from AMAZINES.COM Page 15.

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OPERA / 2017-2018

CANDIDE

MAY 3 OPEN REHEARSAL

Washington National Opera

Music by Leonard Bernstein Book Adapted from Voltaire by Hugh Wheeler in a New Version by John Caird Lyrics by Richard Wilbur with Additional Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim, John Latouche, Lillian Hellman, Dorothy Parker, and Leonard Bernstein

Who’s Who

Candide: an innocent young man, nephew of Baron Thunder-ten-Tronckh (tenor—the highest male voice) Cunegonde: Candide’s love and the baron’s daughter (soprano—the highest female voice) Dr. Pangloss: a teacher and philosopher (baritone—a middle-range male voice) The Old Lady: an old lady (mezzo soprano—a middle-range female voice) Maximilian: Cunegonde’s brother and the baron’s son (baritone) Paquette: Cunegonde’s maid and Pangloss’s girlfriend (soprano)

PHOTO (Top) Caption: Candide (pronounced kahn-DEED) and Cunegonde (coo-neh-GOHN-duh) defy custom and get engaged.

Take a listen…

Before we even get started, let’s take a minute to listen to the overture. Though the story of Candide can be dark at times, the electric energy and pulsating rhythms of this opening music remind us that Candide has all the makings of a fun and frisky satire. (Even composer—and conductor!—Leonard Bernstein can’t help dancing.) Pay attention to some of these melodies; you’ll hear many of them again and again as Candide crosses the globe.

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So, What’s Going On?

Westphalia, a German kingdom, the eighteenth century.

You are here…for now at least. But keep your passport handy.

Meet Candide. He’s a pretty optimistic guy. And why shouldn’t he be? As the illegitimate nephew of Baron Thunder-ten-Tronckh, he gets to live in a beautiful castle. He also gets to sit in on daily lessons with a philosopher named Dr. Pangloss whose personal motto is that all things happen for the best, and this world is, in fact, the best of all possible worlds.

But most importantly, Candide gets to spend his days with the baron’s daughter, Cunegonde, on whom he has a walloping crush.

Take a listen…

Candide’s tastes are a lot simpler than Cunegonde’s, but these two crazy kids are still in love (awww…). Even though Candide and Cunegonde have very different ideas about their future together, they actually sing the same tunes and keep insisting they “agree” on everything. Listen for some irony in the lyrics and in the music here.

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Candide’s sunny outlook is put to the test, however, when he and Cunegonde announce their plans to marry, and Cunegonde’s brother, Maximilian, kicks Candide out of the palace. (Tough break, Candide.)

Wandering aimlessly through the Westphalian countryside, Candide stumbles upon a foreign army. No sooner is he forced to enlist than the army attacks Westphalia and Candide finds himself at war with his former homeland. Candide witnesses a terrible battle fought in the name of nationalism and glory (on both sides). Horrified, confused, and not knowing what’s become of Cunegonde and the rest of the Baron’s family, Candide flees amidst the chaos.

Heartbroken, Candide searches for Cunegonde across the war-torn landscape and eventually meets a beggar with a tin nose. Surprise! It’s Dr. Pangloss, who likewise escaped from the Baron’s castle, only to find his body ravaged by a “special” disease transmitted to him by Cunegonde’s maid, Paquette.

Take a listen…

Dr. Pangloss explains his debilitating disease is worth all the trouble it’s caused in this, the first of two (count them: two) songs about syphilis in the show. Listen for the occasional march-like rhythms in the song, which suggest Pangloss is entirely serious about his conviction that everything is for the best. (Note: The “Croix de Guerre” Pangloss refers to is a French military award for bravery. It translates as “Cross of War.”)

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Reunited, Candide and Pangloss team up with a generous Anabaptist (basically, a guy who doesn’t believe in baptizing infants…a heretic in the eyes of European Protestants and Catholics but, to Candide’s surprise, a decent sort of fellow) and decide to set sail for…

Lisbon, Portugal

But along the way, a storm hits, and the Anabaptist is drowned (again…genuinely sad). Even more terrible? Almost exactly as Candide and Pangloss arrive on the Portuguese shore, a volcano erupts, and the resulting earthquake all but destroys the city of Lisbon, killing tens of thousands of people (once again, extremely sad and also immensely disturbing, especially seeing as it actually happened on November 1, 1755).

Candide and Pangloss are promptly arrested by the Lisbon branch of the Spanish Inquisition, which is looking for scapegoats to blame for the catastrophe. The two men are brought to an auto-da-fé (aw-toh-duh-FEY), a public execution ceremony in which heretics are tried and executed. Pangloss is hanged, but Candide manages to get by with only a beating. (Ain’t he the lucky one?)

Take a listen…

The citizens of Lisbon are perhaps a little too excited to take part in the torture and mayhem of the auto-da-fé . Check out the break-neck speed of the wind instruments and the breathless chants from the chorus, perhaps meant to represent the crowd’s unhealthy thirst for blood. Be on the lookout for some clever puns as well (“Shall we hang them or forget them?”/ “Get them!”), as well as for some references to the Latin masses that would have been observed in Lisbon churches (examples include: “Miserere,” a type of lament; “Pax Vobiscum,” meaning “peace be with you;” and “Dies Irae,” a requiem hymn).

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Shockingly, though, it’s not all bad news for Candide.

Thanks to a happy twist of fate, Cunegonde has survived the Westphalian war! And now her beauty and charm have landed her in…

Paris, France

Here she splits her time (and affection) between a wealthy Jewish gentleman and the Cardinal Archbishop of Paris. She’s a bit upset she’s had to sacrifice her “virtue” for a few trinkets and a nice place to live, but not upset enough to say goodbye to her current living situation.

Take a listen…

Of all the many solos (or “arias”) in Candide, Cunegonde’s “Glitter and Be Gay” is probably the most recognizable (you may even have heard one or two sopranos try it out in your music class). Though the song is a mini-parody of a showy type of nineteenth-century singing known as coloratura, and though much of the tune sounds bright and bouncy, the aria is also a scathing satire of humanity’s obsession with material things. Try listening to the song here and then revisiting it when it turns up in the show. Does it have a different feel when you hear it in context?

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So…Cunegonde seems set for life in Paris. That is until, by an insane coincidence, Candide arrives.

Overjoyed to discover neither one of them has actually died, the two decide to pick up where they left off, but are interrupted by Cunegonde’s two suitors (yikes). A violent confrontation ensues, and Candide stabs both men to death (double yikes).

With the police now on their tail, Candide and Cunegonde escape with the help of a friendly old lady, known simply as “the Old Lady.” The three make their way to…

Cádiz, Spain

But their stay doesn’t last long.

All of their possessions are stolen, the French police begin to close in, and Candide needs to make yet another escape.

Take a listen…

If you can believe it, the Old Lady’s had an even rougher life than Candide and Cunegonde put together (highlights include having one of her buttocks chopped off …we’re not kidding.) Still, like Pangloss, she’s determined to make the best of things. Hoping to sing her way out of a bad situation, the Old Lady tries to “assimilate” into the Spanish culture by offering her own rendition of a habanera (hah-buh-NAIR-uh, a dance with rhythms similar to a tango…you may have heard something like it in Bizet’s Carmen).

(Note: The “Rovno Gubernia” the Old Lady refers to is actually a reference to a region in the Ukraine where Leonard Bernstein’s father was born. The Spanish words used to rhyme with “Gubernia” also have personal significance for the composer: They were given to him by his wife, whose family was from Chile, and they translate as “I’m dying; I’m growing a hernia.”) You can’t make this stuff up!

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Caption: The Old Lady takes a crash course in Spanish.

Miraculously, Candide is suddenly offered a position fighting for Jesuits (missionary Catholics) in South America. He jumps at the chance and, along with Cunegonde and the Old Lady, embarks for the New World.

Phew.

Let’s take a breather for intermission. Go get a snack. We’ll be here when you get back.

Okay. The theater lights are flashing.

Ready to return to the death-defying (and sometimes absurdly ridiculous) adventures of Candide? Sounds good. When we last left our hero, he was headed for…

Montevideo, Uruguay

Candide, Cunegonde, and the Old Lady reach Montevideo. But hold onto your hats, kids, because guess who’s there, too? Maximilian and Paquette (yup, they survived the Westphalian war as well).

Maximilian and Paquette end up at a Jesuit camp deep in the jungle, while Cunegonde gets a marriage proposal from the Governor of Montevideo, and poor Candide is forced to flee once again, as he’s managed to annoy the Spanish/Uruguayan police, too.

Candide employs a local named Cacambo as his companion, and the two venture through the wilderness until they uncover a Jesuit camp. (You guessed it; it’s the same camp where Maximilian and Paquette have been hiding out.) Instantly recognizing one another, Candide and Maximilian quickly fall back on old habits. Candide explains he still wishes to marry Cunegonde, and Maximilian still refuses to give his blessing. The two begin to fight, and, somewhat predictably, Candide ends up stabbing Maximilian and needing to flee. (If you’re thinking the body count is getting a little out of control, you’re right.)

Tired? Confused? Need yet another break? Here: Have an INEXPLICABLE time-jump!

Years pass and Candide and Cacambo are still lost in the South American jungle while Cunegonde and the Old Lady remain at the governor’s house. Soon Candide and Cacambo’s travels bring them to…

Caption: Candide and Cacambo take in Eldorado.

Eldorado

(If you’ve never heard of it, don’t worry. It’s completely made up.)

Yet despite the fact that Eldorado is a near-perfect paradise with gold and jewels to spare, Candide can’t get his mind off Cunegonde. Taking a gift of several golden sheep (yes, they have those in Eldorado), Candide heads for the coast, suggesting Cacambo bring one of the sheep to Montevideo and trade it for Cunegonde’s freedom. The men split up and Candide arrives in…

Surinam, a Dutch colony

Candide comes up with a plan to meet Cunegonde in Venice (because…why not?) and purchases a ship to cross the Atlantic. Only problem? The ship merchant is a total villain—she sells Candide a vessel that can barely float.

Will Candide ever make it to Venice? Will he and Cunegonde ever be reunited for good? And will our hero be able to maintain his positive attitude after all that’s happened to him?

Could be. Anything is possible in this “best of all possible worlds.”

Good to Know

Does the title Candide sound familiar at all?

That’s because you’ve probably encountered it in the classroom or on a summer reading list. It was originally a novel by French poet, playwright, and philosopher François-Marie Arouet, better known as “Voltaire” (1694-1778). An unapologetic spoof, the book version of Candide was a product of the French Enlightenment, a time of great scientific progress and new emphasis on logic and reasoning. Yet despite this shift in social thought, Voltaire saw much to criticize in his contemporary environment.

Not-so-subtly buried within the novel was a witty argument against certain optimistic thinkers of the day—particularly Alexander Pope and Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz—who essentially believed that everything happened for a divine reason. Struggling to reconcile immense tragedies such as the Lisbon earthquake and the impending Seven Year’s War with the idea that every single event is both right and good, Voltaire penned a story about a young man whose naïve positivity gets him into a ton of trouble.

Caption: In a nod to Pope and Leibniz, Dr. Pangloss educates his pupils in the beauty of optimistic reasoning.

Centuries later in 1950s America, playwright and author Lillian Hellman approached a young-yet-already-famous conductor/composer named Leonard Bernstein about collaborating on an operetta (a light, comic opera) of Candide that would be in the satirical spirit of Voltaire.

And this wasn’t just because Hellman was a fan of French literature. No: Hellman felt the overblown optimism, cruel abuses of power, and tremendous hypocrisy displayed in Candide would serve as an ideal metaphor for the American Red Scare (the fear of communist beliefs and practices) and its unjust sanctions and interrogations spearheaded by Senator Joseph McCarthy. Both Hellman and Bernstein had suffered personal and professional consequences at the hands of “McCarthyism,” so the two were naturally drawn to the project. In notes for a 1989 concert version of Candide, Bernstein even described the connection between his own experiences and those of Voltaire:

“That was the time of the Hollywood Blacklist…television censorship, lost jobs, suicides, expatriation and the denial of passports to anyone even suspected of having once known a suspected communist. I can vouch for this; I was denied a passport by my own government. By the way, so was Voltaire… His answer was satire, ridicule and, through laughter, to provoke in his reader self-recognition and, of course, self-justification: ‘Who, me? Not me.’ Which produces discussion, makes debate—and debate is, after all, the cornerstone of democracy. So Lillian and I were naturally magnetized by Voltaire’s…wit and wisdom, and quickly set about our work…”

Check This Out…

How the musical styles and choice of instruments change with each new location. Would you be able to tell when Candide has traveled to a new country without being told? How so? (Hint: Think slow and steady hymn-like songs for Westphalia or castanets and syncopated rhythms for Portugal.)

How the lighting, sets, and costumes give you clues about the characters’ fates. For example: Do Candide’s clothes give you any hints about when he’s run into some good fortune versus when he’s had a bad day? Do the scenery and lighting changes provide a sense of Cunegonde’s social status in Paris and in Montevideo?

In this production, the singer playing the role of Dr. Pangloss will also play the role of Voltaire, the ever-present narrator. Do you think this example of “double casting” is effective? What do you think Pangloss and Voltaire have in common? Throughout the show, does one of these characters come across as more sincere or more believable than the other? In what ways?

Think About This…

Both Candide the novel and Candide the operetta were artistic reactions to turbulent times. Do you think Candide still holds up as social commentary in today’s world? Does the satire make sense in our post-Red Scare era of social media, “fake news,” and international revolution?

The land of Eldorado has no courts or prisons and no concept of fear or revenge. Given Voltaire was somewhat frustrated with the society that surrounded him and that he was a known pacifist, what do you think Eldorado represented in the original story? Do you think it symbolizes something similar in the operetta? Can you think of a modern-day equivalent of Eldorado in literature, TV, or film?

Though the Candide novel ends rather abruptly, the musical adaptation has a long finale with a definite message. What do you feel the operetta’s creators wanted to say in this final scene? Does the show ultimately leave you in an optimistic or a pessimistic mood…or somewhere in between?

Take Action: Make Your Garden Grow

One of the key takeaways from Candide (in both its novel and musical forms) is to “make your garden grow,” or to take the time to cultivate something meaningful for yourself and for those around you. We think it’s a pretty good life lesson.

Why not be more like Candide? Okay, silly question (he makes a lot of destructive choices). But why not adopt his character’s thoughts on making your own personal garden? Don’t worry: We’re not talking literal gardens (unless you like that sort of thing!). Instead, we encourage you to take on an extended project you think will be worthwhile for you and your community.

It could be anything. If you and a few of your friends always wanted to start a band, you can book a local venue a few months in advance and get practicing. If you’ve been thinking about running a marathon, you can look up runs for charities in your area over the next year and start training. Or—if you want to be more exact about it—you can plant an actual vegetable garden and donate your produce to a soup kitchen or family shelter. The only rule here is that it has to be something that takes a lot of care and a lot of commitment.

Social media savvy? Track your progress and show the world the results of all your hard work using the hashtag #makeyourgardengrow.

Explore More

Go even deeper with the Candide Extras.

All photos by Karli Cadel

Major support for WNO is provided by Jacqueline Badger Mars.

David M. Rubenstein is the Presenting Underwriter of WNO.

WNO acknowledges the longstanding generosity of Life Chairman Mrs. Eugene B. Casey.

WNO's Presenting Sponsor

Additional support for Candide is provided by the National Endowment for the Arts.

#opera #candideat2700F

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