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year2000electronics · 28 days ago

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This is a post detailing the full timeline of my Mario AU, Fate of the Stars! Full thing under the cut- it's a bit of a long read, but I hope you enjoy!

THE BEGINNING

The seven Star Spirits have always been there, watching from above… watching with love. Many things in the FOTS world have happened because someone made a wish. Wishing magic is some of the most potent there is.

TIME OF THE DINOSAURS

Hey, this is where the Yoshis and Koopas’ common ancestors are from!

…Alright, that’s it. NEXT!

TIME OF THE ANCIENTS

Two distinct factions of humans are formed. Magicians who rely on spell-casting to get things done, and regular old humans who rely on the natural fauna around them to get things done.

The magicians have a fight that splits them into two: the Ancients and the Tribe of Darkness.

The magicians eventually get so secretive that they ban basically anyone else from entering into their fold. This happens over centuries.

Amidst all this fighting, the Tribe of Darkness creates the Dark Prognosticus, a prophecy that is set to doom the world. The Ancients create the Light Prognosticus to try and counter it- though only the Dark Prognosticus is TRULY prophetic.

In both prophecies, four heroes are predicted to save the world. These heroes are known as the “Star Children”, and legend says that when they get delivered by a stork (because that ends up being how babies are made here…), they will each come with a mystical star charm that will give them power and guide them on their way.

Both prophecies mention the “Man in Green” as the ideal host for the Chaos Heart that would end all worlds- although in the Light Prognosticus, it is said that the Man in Green has the potential to decide which prophecy becomes true.

Only the Dark Prognosticus mentions this, but allegedly, one of the heroes would be the “Dark Star Child”, the one destined to turn against the heroes and act as their final opponent. Prophecy scholars across the years have debated which of the heroes would be this Dark Star Child. In the modern era, the common belief is that it would be the “Furious monster king”, although there are one or two fringe theorists who believe the Dark Star Child is one and the same as the Man in Green.

Also happening over thousands of years, the humans who keep using the land’s mushrooms to “power-up” eventually evolve into the Toad species, the mushroom DNA intermingling with theirs causing them to shrink down and gain mushroom cap-like appendages on their heads. We know this species today as “Toads”!

Toads grow to revere the ancient humans of their past and view tallness and “Tall Toads” as a status symbol. A Toad forges the Super Crown, something gifted to a royal and their partner to give them the appearance of a regular human.

The Tribe of Darkness’ interaction with so much dark magic also changes them. Now they are shadow beings, distinct from humans.

Regular humans still exist, though, but as the years go on, they become fewer and fewer.

Koopas become sentient after many Ancients and Darkness Members alike began to keep them as pets, and just like Toads, the lingering effects of being close to magic helps them evolve. They form a kingdom of their own, and the idea of “pet Koopas” quickly becomes abolished.

Sometime during this time are the reigns of Pharaoh Shroomses and Captain T. Ode.

Also during this period, Power Mushrooms are bred with GMOs to make their effects less harmful to human DNA, even if the Toads can never go back.

THE REIGN OF SHADOWS

Three sisters belonging to the Tribe of Darkness- Vesper, Jaydes, and Cerise- become so powerful that they ascend to immortal demonhood. They then proceed to shroud the land in darkness. They forge eight Crystal Stars during their reign to make themselves even more powerful and practically impossible to kill. (They draw this power from the Star Spirits.)

The land is shrouded in darkness for quite some time.

The youngest sister, Cerise, is tasked with hiding the eight Crystal Stars where nobody can find them. Her first hiding place is the eighth Crystal Star, which she chooses to always wear as a necklace. Along the way, however, she falls in love with a hero who’s trying to stop her, a “human” vagabond named Russ Toadstool. It causes her to have a change of heart. Later in the journey, Russ shamefully reveals to her that he’s actually not a human, and is instead Toad royalty who hid his Super Crown under his bandana. Cerise, laughing, assures him she loves him no matter what he looks like.

She and Russ agree to get married, and Cerise casts away her demonic form to live as a powerless human. Unfortunately, this seems to impact the Crystal Star she carries with her, as it has transformed into a powerful yet disconnected artifact known as the Cobalt Star. She refuses to tell anyone what it does and always keeps it on her.

In the meantime, Jaydes, the middle sister, takes control of the Underwhere forcibly, wrenching it from the grasp of Grambi. She originally intended on commanding an undead army to bring up to the living world, and was waiting for Grambi to be caught off guard.

Four heroes, Russ included, journey far and wide collecting the Crystal Stars using Cerise’s guidance on where she hid them. Then, they use them to seal away the last remaining Shadow Sister- Vesper, the Shadow Queen.

Seeing this, Jaydes quietly decides to just accept a part as Queen of the Underwhere. (Over centuries, she and Grambi fall in love.)

MR. AND MRS. TOADSTOOL

Russ and Cerise’s lifespan extends far beyond human or Toad lifespans. They end up living for almost a thousand years, and still look as young as the day they met! …Does Cerise have anything to say about that??

“Hee hee! I guess being a hero just keeps you young!”

Around 980 or so years pass, with Russ and Cerise’s reign being the longest recorded reign in Toad history. It makes sense! They’re good rulers and people like them!

Meanwhile with the Koopas, they’ve grown to have a steady rivalry with the Mushroom Kingdom. They bring about kinda dumb and not-very-good-at-planning heirs and that’s about it for them.

At some point during this era (probably near the tail-end), Blumiere and Timpani have their whole devastating romance thing! Yay!

…And that’s it for the most part! (Though knowing how complex this can get, I may have to add more sometime.)

But after a long and peaceful reign, Russ and Cerise decide it’s finally time to have… a baby.

A STAR IS BORN

Russ and Cerise give birth to a baby girl they name Peach. She’s fully human, thanks to Cerise giving up her power ages ago, and even if she might have some Toad DNA- well, it certainly isn’t enough to make her look like one.

During this time, two human babies are born to a humble young couple! Their names, as you may know, are Mario and Luigi!

Also during this time, the next heir to the Koopa throne is born- and though he may be small now, in the future, little Bowser will soon be the biggest Koopa anyone’s ever seen…

Each of these babies come delivered with star charms. Mario and Luigi’s charms are two halves of one star, symbolizing their closeness as brothers. For baby Peach, she eventually had hers made into a pair of star earrings. And finally, for little Bowser, his star was carefully cut into five parts and fashioned around a collar to serve as spikes. (This obtuse placement would lead people to not realize that Bowser was the fourth star child for years, up to the very last moments.)

THE ORIGINAL SHROOB INVASION

A planet full of hostiles known as the Shroobs descends upon the Mushroom Kingdom, trying to take them by force and possibly drain them of all their vim and all that freaky deaky stuff.

The Shroobs almost have the royals cornered, particularly the Elder Princess Shroob has Cerise and Russ on the ropes. Cerise realizes that if she finds a way to attack the Elder, the Shroobs will fail to have any orders on what to do next. Doing that, her and Russ agree to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Cerise pulls the Cobalt Star off of her neck and raises it up, trapping Elder Princess Shroob in there- but also trapping herself in the process. She expects to never come out- and so to the world, she is dead.

The Shroobs all scatter, now without a queen to rule them. They flee, tails between their legs. The kingdom is safe, but at the cost of their beloved queen.

Whatever Cerise was doing to extend Russ and her lifespans, it clearly isn’t happening anymore. Russ falls very ill very quickly and starts rapidly aging. He shuts himself away from the kingdom, knowing he wouldn’t want his subjects seeing something so agonizing.

In his few dying days, he smiles, entrusting his advisor Toadsworth to the most important mission of his life.

“Toadsworth… take care of her. Alright?”

“My baby… my Peach.”

Russ dies. Toadsworth is now the acting royal of the Mushroom Kingdom until Peach is of age to make decisions on her own.

The Cobalt Star is locked away in the basement of the castle. Everyone is sworn to secrecy about it.

YOSHI’S ISLAND

Hey! Welcome to the first actual VIDEO GAME in this timeline! Fed up with my antics yet?!

Seeing that the Mushroom Kingdom is in disarray after the Shroob invasion, the acting ruler of the Koopa kingdom, Kamek, acts fast. The previous royals were killed somehow, and though he has Lord Bowser to take care of, he wants something more. Since he was present to see the baby king, he knows that Bowser is one of the four Star Children, and knows that if Bowser was born, the other three must not be very far behind. He should eliminate these obstacles to the Koopa kingdom’s potential great reign… and he should do it fast.

He orders troops to kidnap every baby in the Mushroom Kingdom they can find, and these babies happen to include Mario and Luigi in their ranks.

Although Luigi is successfully kidnapped, Mario is rescued by a tribe of friendly Yoshis, who all agree to help baby Mario get his brother back, cos he’s just so cute! And… surely this child, blessed by the stars, with the star necklace… could only bring them good fortune.

When Kamek finds Luigi, he eagerly pulls out Luigi’s star necklace, elated that he found one of the Star Children, but- ah. Why’s this star purple? …Must be one of his rotten minions who busted it. Unless… This was the mysterious Dark Star Child? Well- either way. He’s either covering for his idiot minions, or… Well… If this WAS the Dark Star Child… Perhaps he wouldn’t rise up and take over Lord Bowser’s plans if he never knew he was the Dark Star Child.

While deciding what he should actually do with Luigi, Kamek places a fairly strong cloaking spell on Luigi’s purple star necklace that makes it appear as if it’s gold like Mario’s. He tells no one about this, not even Bowser. (I’d remember this moment if I were you. Who knows if it might crop up later?)

STARRY CHILDHOODS

Mario and Luigi grow up in the Mushroom Kingdom, thanks to their parents living in the rural country. Their parents were close personal friends with Toadsworth, so they would often bring Mario and Luigi over for playdates with the young princess Peach. They all realized their kids were three of the fabled Star Children, but decided not to tell them so their lives would be peaceful and they wouldn’t be burdened with a sense of great responsibility.

Bowser, meanwhile, is getting trained by Kamek and the rest of the Koopa kingdom to be a powerful heir to try and finally dethrone the Mushroom Kingdom as the leading monarchy. Kamek’s a bit of a hardass who believes that the Koopa kingdom can rise above the Star Children prophecy if they rule the world before anything can happen to it.

Mario and Luigi get bullied on the playground by their cousin :(

Eventually, word travels around that a wrecking crew led by a human named Spike are building a city for the remaining humans of the world to congregate known as New Donk City. Although the population is currently small, they hope to make a bustling metropolis, and Mario’s parents are more than happy to join them. They move away, taking the brothers with them, and they lose contact with the Toadstool family.

DONKEY KONG

Hi! Welcome to the adult era! The bros are in their 20s now, and attempting to do what every up-and-coming youngin dreams of: Starting a business! That is to say, a plumbing business… They go for gold, quitting Mayor Spike’s wrecking crew (their cousin Wario complains because he busted his ass getting that job for them) and trying to start the Super Mario Bros. plumbing company.

Mario’s girlfriend at the time, Pauline, is kidnapped by a rampaging beast known as Donkey Kong. The mayor of the city, Spike, apparently captured the Kong to use his incredible strength to do things like demolish old buildings. Poor guy!

Nobody’s sure what to do, but at just the right time… Mario rises to the occasion, climbing all the girders and dodging barrels to fight the beast and get back his girlfriend.

Mario is hailed as a hero! Their plumbing business immediately booms, and everyone just can’t seem to get enough of Mr. Jumpman. Spike is ousted as the mayor for his abuse of animals and also pissing off the Kong Country, dude, why the hell did you do that.

As the search for a new mayor begins, things heat up for Mario. People seem to keep calling their business not for plumbing, but to try and get Mr. Jumpman to do more and more extreme favours for them, or just to try and get a photo and an autograph. (Poor Luigi usually silently gets handed the camera…) The pressure really starts getting to Mario, and he and Pauline end up breaking up, seeing as the people of New Donk City are REALLY trying to push for them to get married so they can be the “perfect sweethearts” after he rescued her.

Mario’s had enough. He and Luigi move away from New Donk, and decide to try starting their business back home- back in the Mushroom Kingdom.

SUPER MARIO BROS.

(...That’s a bit of a misnomer. Mario is the only one going on this adventure.)

Mario and Luigi’s plumbing business is going really well! So well, in fact, that the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom herself has invited them to come fix her pipes… Could she be? The cute little girl they talked to so many years ago?

The bros arrive at Peach’s castle, and they catch up with a now-adult Peach, who Mario immediately falls for. He’s trying not to rush anything, especially after the Pauline fiasco, so he tries to hide his crush, but the two of them are getting along really well!

Suddenly, in the middle of Mario and Luigi’s plumbing job, a giant monster bursts through the wall- it’s none other than Bowser, king of the Koopas. After years of being raised and trained to become the perfect heir for the Koopa kingdom, he’s ready to strike, kidnapping the princess as leverage to try and get the Mushroom Kingdom to surrender.

Mario can’t help himself- he sees someone in need and SPRINGS INTO ACTION! He chases off after Bowser, venturing across the land to try and find him in the Koopa kingdom to rescue the princess.

…Luigi, naturally, stays behind, too meek to try, and assumes that Mario was just better-suited for the job. After all, LUIGI wasn’t the one who beat Donkey Kong… Maybe he can start off with something smaller next time… Yeah… Next time.

Mario rescues the princess and beats Bowser, and gets a kiss on the nose and a cake for his trouble! The Toad citizens all welcome him back, but thanks to the Mushroom Kingdom having a much smaller population density, he actually finds it quite nice.

Mario realizes something- that Bowser isn’t going to go away, is he? And everywhere he goes, the vulnerable, the innocent, his FRIENDS… They need someone to help them. Mario knows what he needs to do. He hangs up his plunger permanently, deciding to become a full-time hero.

…And Luigi can stay home and do the laundry!

SUPER MARIO BROS. 2

Mario has a dream where he and his friends go on an adventure! Wow! The baddie at the end of the road is some bat thing called Antasma? Who says he’s going to feed off Mario’s nightmares? Too bad Mario stomps him almost immediately. Guess his dreams were too happy… Better luck next game, buddy.

SUPER MARIO BROS. 3

Bowser’s pride is wounded after his humiliating defeat at the hands of Mario. He decides to put out a summons in his kingdom calling for more minions to join his side- a royal army. To his surprise, someone answers his call, but it’s not any minion he was expecting… Instead, he sees seven starry-eyed orphans, proclaiming themselves to be eager recruits in Bowser’s new army- The Koopalings. This is hopeless. How’s Bowser going to get anything done with these clowns?! Still, for some reason, he feels a pang of something deep in his heart, a feeling deep down of knowing what it’s like to be a kid with no real parent figures… He steals the wands of seven of Kamek’s head Magikoopas and entrusts them to the Koopalings (much to Kamek’s dismay), telling them to go conquer seven of the Mushroom Kingdom’s neighboring countries, and they do.

Meanwhile, Peach is fretting over letters from these other counties, begging her for help as all their leaders have been turned into animals. Before she can do anything, of course, she’s kidnapped by Bowser. During her tenure, she feigns innocence to Bowser and keeps asking about his “new soldiers”, getting Bowser to tell her all about them. She secretly sends Mario letters warning him on each new Koopaling’s ability.

Mario manages to defeat the Koopalings and get the princess back from Bowser. Kamek is mad at Bowser for stealing the magic wands, but is honestly impressed with how adept the Koopalings are at Magikoopa magic. He decides to take them on as his apprentices, and only forges two replacement wands- One for himself, and one for his second-in-command, Kammy Koopa.

SUPER MARIO LAND

Mario gets a distress call from Sarasaland, one of the kingdoms he just helped save from the Koopalings. This time, instead of their ruler being turned into an animal, their princess- Daisy- has been kidnapped by an alien named Tatanga! Of course, Mario is happy to help, so he goes off on another quest to help her.

Most of the bosses of this land are just repeat visits from Mario’s cousin, Wario, who’s being paid off by Tatanga to be a nuisance. Mario is so tired of this. He wants Wario to go back to New Donk City and leave him alone. Please.

Mario saves Daisy, and the two of them become good friends! Daisy reveals she’s more of a warrior princess than anything, and would be glad to help pitch in on Mushroom Kingdom protection whenever she can. Mario says he’ll keep in touch.

SUPER MARIO WORLD

Mario is cashing in that offer IMMEDIATELY. He asks Daisy if she can keep an eye on the Mushroom Kingdom for a bit so he, Luigi, and Peach can take a well-needed vacation further into the rural country. As it turns out, this was a terrible idea, because the Koopalings were spying on him this whole time and immediately chase after them with Bowser to kidnap Peach when she has her guard down. DAMMIT!

Mario and Luigi realize very quickly, though, they came to this place for a reason, even if it was subconscious… This is the land of the Yoshis! Although the original Yoshis who took care of them are quite old now, they meet a young Yoshi about their age who agrees to help rescue the princess. (That is THE Yoshi now, but I don’t really do much with him. But he’s here!)

Mario and Yoshi go off to rescue Peach. Luigi says “no really I’ll stay here don’t worry about me”.

After this adventure, Bowser finally bites the bullet and officially signs the adoption papers to make the 7 Koopalings his children.

SUPER MARIO 64

Another day, another slay for Super Mario. Peach kidnapped, you know the drill. But THIS time, Bowser has turned the entire castle into HAUNTED PAINTINGS! Mario’s adventure will take him no further than the castle gates, but boy, will it make him work up a sweat regardless.

The only major thing of note here is that in Big Boo’s Haunt, a certain boo meets Mario for the first time… And he takes note of the power of paintings. He wonders- If there’s a way to get Mario in a painting… perhaps there’s a way… to keep him there…

Luigi is at home baking a nice quiche.

SUPER MARIO RPG

Mario has to help Geno repair the Star Road after Smithy broke it, or else the Star Spirits won’t be able to grant wishes or anything!

Peach and Bowser also agree to help. Bowser is reluctant but agrees.

Geno recognizes Mario, Peach and Bowser as three of the Star Children, but doesn’t really care to ask where the fourth one is because he’s got other shit he really wants to be dealing with right now.

MALLOW IS ALSO THERE.

PAPER MARIO 64

Bowser, immediately after helping repair the Star Road, goes right back up there to steal the Star Rod from the Star Spirits and grant his own wishes of invincibility. THAT BASTARD.

Not much to say here as of right now. It’s Paper Mario. Kammy Koopa is there. Peach is kidnapped.

In this version, the Star Spirits do recognize Mario as one of the Star Children, though- the “child blessed by the stars”! Yes, they remember him. They consider themselves as part of Mario’s family, in a way. After all, they were always looking out for him. Who do you think made sure he got dropped off with the Yoshis? Who do you think gave him all those invincibility stars?

Luigi stays at home. He’s getting increasingly frustrated that he missed the “being a hero” boat, and now it’s a self-feeding cycle of him being left at home. He makes a wish, with all his heart, that one day, he’ll be allowed to shine just as bright as Mario…

LUIGI’S MANSION

Normally, the Boos were some of the lowest class of species in the Koopa kingdom’s court. They were shy. They were wishy-washy. Nobody paid any mind to them. But one day, a shooting star fell from the sky, and landing on the ground was a magnificent jewel that seemed to be from the stars itself. Big Boo, the one from Super Mario 64, as the leader of the boos, fashioned a wonderful crown out of the gem, and once he put it on… it gave him power unimaginable.

Re-christening himself King Boo, he constructs a mansion near the lab of the annoying ghost-hunter Professor E. Gadd as part of his grand scheme. He filled it with portrait ghosts, with inspiration from Bowser’s haunted paintings and help from the ghostly painter Vincent Van Gore. And then came the piece de resistance… Unlike that fool, Bowser, his first move wouldn’t be to kidnap the princess. No. He would instead kidnap… the plumber.

Mario gets a flier in the mail, saying he’s won a FREE MANSION! WOW!!! He eagerly lets Luigi know, and goes on ahead to accept his new house- he can’t wait to move in!

Luigi waits for him to get back. And waits… and waits… Aaaand waaaiiits…

…Mario isn’t coming back. It’s been days. Maybe he finally abandoned Luigi and went off to be a hero forever- No. No way. He should check the mansion. He should. Right? Yes. So, with legs shaking like jelly, he packs his bags, and prepares to go see his brother…

Of course, Luigi finds a mansion full of ghosts, and helps rescue E. Gadd from their pranks. He ends up defeating all the portrait ghosts in the mansion, and even survives the horrifying realization that Mario is trapped in a PAINTING!

Luigi beats King Boo, feeling like he just barely survived, and a stunned Mario hugs him for at LEAST five minutes, sobbing into his shoulder that he’s so proud of Luigi.

Luigi quietly mumbles that he would maybe like to go on an adventure with Mario next time Peach gets kidnapped. Mario agrees, saying he’s sorry he didn’t reach out sooner and felt like he was just trying to protect Luigi. Now, he sees Luigi doesn’t need protecting, and can be a hero in his own right!

WARIOWARE INC.: MEGA MICROGAME$

WOW AN INTERLUDE!!!!! This is basically the only Wario game on the list, so enjoy it. I might do a Wario Land at some point to include Captain Syrup. If I’m feeling generous. Wario returns to New Donk City after the events of Super Mario Land and this is what he’s been up to: Collecting a gang of misfits to have them work for him for MEAGER WAGES.

The microgames are a big hit, though!

Waluigi probably works for Wario in this universe.

SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE

It’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is, Mario! Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toadsworth, and a few Toads are on vacation to the luxurious Isle Delfino, hoping that they can kick back and relax FOR ONCE after the haunted mansion fiasco. Unfortunately, two things are happening: First of all, the isle is covered in this icky paint-like goop (It’s moving!) (Now now boys, don’t touch that stuff!), and second of all, an impostor is running around wearing MARIO’s face?! MARIO HAS BEEN ARRESTED?!

Despite Luigi and Peach’s objections, Mario is declared guilty, and his sentence is to clean up the entire island. But how is Mario going to do THAT?!

Luigi is here to help! He explains that Professor E. Gadd occasionally gives him presents in the form of wacky inventions, and Luigi brought his latest one along because he hadn’t had time to unbox it yet. When he does, it’s almost too perfect- It’s a robotic nozzle machine known as F.L.U.D.D.!

As Mario works hard to clean up the Isle (Peach and Luigi have tried to help, but the Piantas yell at them for it.), Luigi takes on some missions of his own trying to uncover the identity of the mysterious Shadow Mario. Nobody sets up his bro like that and gets away with it!

Peach, meanwhile, tries to convince the locals to rally with Mario… to varying success.

The Koopalings are probably around Isle Delfino somewhere, but they’re not actually attacking Mario or anything, most of them just seem to be relaxing and enjoying the island. It’s only clumsy Morton who lets slip that they’re purposely staying back to “LET NEW GUY HAVE HIS FUN”. …WHO’S THE NEW GUY?!

Luigi and Mario’s quests meet up when Peach is kidnapped and taken to Pinna Park, where Shadow Mario reveals himself to be… BOWSER JR?!

That’s right. Bowser just couldn’t get enough of that fatherhood and had another kid through ASEXUAL REPRODUCTION VIA A STORK. DO NOT INQUIRE ABOUT THIS FURTHER. Of course, Kammy Koopa spoils him rotten despite Kamek’s protests (and outlawing giving him a magic wand), so she commissions a paintbrush invention from E. Gadd that allows Jr. to create magic graffiti that can help him, harm others, and, importantly, disguise him as people.

Jr. is convinced that Peach is his mother. This is bad. Peach eventually gets yanked away by Bowser to go, like, sit in a hot tub. Mario and Luigi chase after him, with Mario using F.L.U.D.D to destroy the hot tub and with Luigi tasked with getting Peach off of that hot tub before it falls.

Everyone winds up safe, except F.L.U.D.D, but with Luigi’s help, he makes a miraculous recovery!

Mario asks Luigi when he got so good at tinkering. Luigi admits it was his primary hobby when Mario was off on his adventures, and E. Gadd just helped him hone his abilities.

Bowser and Jr. return home, defeated. Jr. admits he knows Peach isn’t really his mama, but was having so much fun fighting Mario he didn’t want to stop. The Koopalings are all super proud of their baby sibling and welcome him to the team.

MARIO & LUIGI: SUPERSTAR SAGA

IT’S A MULTI-KINGDOM AFFAIR! When two ambassadors from the neighboring Beanbean Kingdom show up and offer a gift to Princess Peach, everything goes haywire when her voice gets stolen! The assailants reveal their true identities- the evil witch Cackletta and her cronie Fawful! They seek to activate the Beanstar, an artifact that can grant wishes (Star Spirits, I’m looking at you suspiciously…) that was put into a deep sleep and can only be awoken with a pure voice.

Mario and Luigi are on the case! Their journey takes them across the strange cultural frontier of the Beanbean Kingdom, meeting up with Queen Bean and the young Prince Peasley- who seems to have taken quite a fancy to Luigi! Most of the wackiness is part of their long, drawn-out plan to make sure Peach is alright, as well as chasing after Cackletta and Fawful.

Cackletta gets the shit beat out of her by the bros at Woohoo Hooniversity, but we’re just getting started. Fawful sucks up her essence, and through Shenanigans, she ends up possessing the body of Bowser, going by Bowletta. Yes, this gives Bowser boobs for some reason. Yes, this is as weird as it sounds.

Although the bros try their best to out-maneuver and trick Bowletta at every turn, eventually, the cards do fall in her favour, and the bros are forced to do a final gauntlet into Bowletta’s castle, which includes fighting the Koopalings as well as Fawful himself, who seems like he’s had it up to here with Cackletta’s mistreatment of him.

The bros go inside Bowletta to fight Cackletta’s Spirit, she flips them off whenever she attacks, they beat her, Bowser is fine, Peach gets her voice back, Luigi and Peasley make out sloppy style, THE END.

PRINCESS PEACH: SHOWTIME!

You didn’t hear this from me, but this is kinda a fusion between Princess Peach Showtime and Super Princess Peach. I will not be adapting the Vibe Scepter. It’s mostly an adaptation of Showtime, but with the idea that SPP had that Mario and Luigi get kidnapped.

Before Bowser can even brainstorm up his next plan (Yes, because we all know it’s coming!), the Mushroom Kingdom finds itself encased in a dome of enchantment, turning all its citizenry into nothing but stage actors, mere puppets for the one, the only, MADAME GRAPE! She seeks to put on the greatest show the world’s ever seen- one that never ends!

Mario and Luigi are down for the count, of course, but it seems that something within Peach is keeping her safe… She doesn’t know why, but she feels the urge to look up to the stars and thank her late mother.

Now, Peach must embark on a journey as the only one left, and rescue the brothers she’s come to care so much about. Will she do it…? Or will it be curtains for her?

SUPER MARIO BROS. WONDER

DID SOMEBODY SAY BOWSER?! (No, nobody said Bowser.)

Mario and co. get invited to another of the Mushroom Kingdom’s neighboring kingdoms, the Flower Kingdom (If you’re counting, now that makes around 3 neighboring kingdoms that Mario probably visited during Mario 3!) by Prince Florian. This time, it’s not an act of hostility… but this time, Bowser invites himself along, turning himself into Castle Bowser with the weird and wacky power of the Wonder Flower.

Jr., Kamek, Kammy, and the Koopalings also get the fun effects of the Wonder flower, and are now wreaking havoc across the kingdom! Who can possibly help us?!

WHY, PRINCESS DAISY, OF COURSE! She was part of this cross-kingdom party too! Now, Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy all get to go on a wonderful adventure! (...Pretty standard aside from all the Alice In Wonderland nonsense, though!)

PAPER MARIO: STICKER STAR

Whew! That all has been nuts, huh? Isn’t it time we just got a stupid fucking adventure?

Peach decides to throw a STICKER FEST!! A festival dedicated to stickers! With a fist clenched, with an eye twitching, after two or three different ruined vacations, she says surely you all know that we can’t mess up with something as simple as a STICKER FESTIVAL. Right?

Wrong.

As it turns out, the Sticker Comet that passes by once every millenium is called the Sticker Star, and holds a race of sentient, hedonistic stickers on them. They love to grant wishes- (THE STAR SPIRITS SWEAR IT’S ACTUALLY NOT THEM THIS TIME.) But the stickers’ wishes are twisted, and never really get you what you want, aiming to turn you into a powerful being they can catch a ride on to feed off your energy. They have something of a cosmic rivalry with the Star Spirits, and normally stay away from the Mushroom Kingdom so they won’t fight more, but…

Bowser just had to Bowser it up, didn’t he? He crashes Sticker Fest, thinking that it’s just some dumb thing the princess is doing, but once he touches the Sticker Comet that just landed, well… you know. The six Royal Stickers go zooming away- one lands on him, and he starts going nuts for power. Alright, man, you go have fun with that! Peach also gets kidnapped. Alright, man.

Mario and Luigi reluctantly set out on an adventure to go get those stickers back- and they’re constantly tailed by a bratty little sticker named Kersti, who reveals she’s next in line to be one of the Royal Stickers, once she’s of age to succeed her dad. And she thinks the Mario bros are smelly and should stop getting in the way of the Royal Sticker Court.

Along the way, they beat up five of Bowser’s minions who have gone nuts with power- A preteen Goomba who wished to be stronger for Bowser’s army, a Pokey who wished to not be so lonely, a Blooper who wished for fame (Hey, hasn’t Mario yanked that guy’s tentacles off before?), a snowman who wished to not melt, and a Piranha Plant who wished for… more food.

Kersti slowly realizes that the wishes her people give are the furthest thing from benevolent, and in the final battle, sacrifices herself so her father, the last Royal Sticker, can be removed from Bowser.

Hooray! The day is saved! Everybody would like a nice nap now please.

LUIGI’S MANSION: THE LAST RESORT

I had to change the title because I am putting a game called “Luigi’s Mansion 3” after a game called “Luigi’s Mansion 2”.

After their stupidest adventure yet, Peach and the Mario bros are all too happy to check into an all-expenses-paid five-star hotel after they get a letter inviting them to go. After all, Bowser seemed pretty wiped, too, and who else would be out there to get them? Cackletta? No, she’s super-dead. Wario? No, he’s too busy on the grindset. King Boo? Ha! No, he’s trapped in a painting!

The group get greeted by a bunch of cheery-but-stiff-faced bellhops, as well as the owner of the hotel herself, who insists you just call her Hellen. They all get comfortable for their stay, and separate for the night.

…Luigi wakes up in a cold sweat. Something is very wrong. He just has a gut feeling. He looks around the hotel, trying to find Mario and Peach, but to no avail. The entire hotel seems darker, somehow. Suddenly, he’s face to face with a grinning Hellen, who backs away to reveal- Not only is she a ghost, but she broke King Boo out of his painting because she’s his BIGGEST fan. King Boo reveals that he’s trapped Mario and Peach in paintings, and wants to save the best for last- The meddling plumber who GOT HIM SHUT AWAY IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

Luigi manages to escape, and on the first floor, finds E. Gadd who is once again caught in the crosshairs. Now, the two of them (Make that three of them- E. Gadd reveals he was going to give this to Luigi on his birthday, but is forced to reveal it early… A slime clone of Luigi called Gooigi. He is so… unnerving. Why would E. Gadd make this as a birthday present.) must work together to recover all of the elevator buttons, slowly ascend up the floors of the hotel, and confront Hellen Gravely and King Boo at the very tippy-top, locking them in a ghost-keeping chamber that E. Gadd made.

PAPER MARIO: COLOUR SPLASH

Yes, I’m spelling it like that.

Mario, Peach and Luigi all take a trip to Port Prisma, a more beachside area of the Mushroom Kingdom! (Luigi asks that if there’s something crazy can you please keep him out of it. He’s tired from the hotel.)

Surely nothing bad will happen.

Unfortunately, because Bowser is a knucklehead and tried to dye his shell rainbow in Port Prisma’s rainbow fountain, he accidentally mixed it all together to create ugly Black Paint, and is having an ill-informed Giant Rampage across the kingdom. And the Koopalings get to help, too!

Mario and Peach team up with Huey, a paint bucket, to beat Bowser because why not? Let’s just throw Peach in there for funs.

Huey sacrifices himself and it’s very sad. Luigi gets to put his karting license to work.

MARIO & LUIGI: DREAM TEAM

Okay but can we get that nice nap for REAL?!

This time, the gang chooses to go to the relaxing Pi’illo Island, whose tourism is entirely based on sleeping and having nice dreams.

…Hey, remember back in Super Mario Bros. 2 when a bat-thing named Antasma tried to feed on Mario’s nightmares but failed spectacularly? Well, he’s baa-aaaaaack…

Antasma’s goal is to collect the Dream Stone and gain enough power to put the entire island into an eternal sleep, ruling it as the king of nightmares. Obviously, we can’t let that happen. …Oh, yeah, and he convinced Bowser to work with him and kidnapped Peach as a sign of goodwill. DAMMIT, GUYS, SHE HAD SUCH A GOOD STREAK GOING.

Mario and Luigi team up with Prince Dreambert, former prince of the kingdom who had been frozen in stone for years, to chase after Antasma. It’s also revealed that Luigi has immense power in the dream world- Dreamy Luigi has the force of ONE HUNDRED MEN. What the hell?! Maybe it’s because he has his head in the cloud so much… Who knows?

And BTW Antasma betrays Bowser this time and not the other way around. That was fucking stupid, what happened in the real game. I didn’t like it.

During the final battle, Antasma idly comments on Luigi, saying he wishes he tried to influence him to do his bidding, nearly salivating over his dream-power, but also saying he… “senses something dark within Luigi”? Whatever that means. Oh, well, he’s a crazy bat anyways, let’s just attack him and make sure Pi’illo Island never has to deal with him again. Bye-bye!

(Also I have nowhere to put this but Antasma can totally turn people into nightmare vampires. Isn’t that cool? I think it’s cool. It’s why I added it.)

SUPER MARIO GALAXY

Have you ever just wanted to say “Fuck it, let’s go to space”? Bowser has.

It’s the Star Festival! Which is NOT THE SAME AS THE STICKER FESTIVAL, OKAY? There’s a lot of stuff out there in space. Give us a break. Besides, THIS one orbits the Mushroom Kingdom every 100 years. But, of course, Bowser has to take his chance to mess everything up as per usual. He lifts Peach’s castle into space using a UFO, and before Mario and Luigi can stop him, Kamek casts a spell that launches the both of them into deep space.

Mario wakes up on a strange planet separated from Luigi, where a creature called a Luma guides him to the gateway to the starry sky. There, he meets an… interesting character. Miss Rosalina is icy, short-tempered, and a total recluse, only interacting with the Lumas on her ship. She’s like a doting mother to them, and is protective over them to an extreme degree.

When one of the Lumas begs her to help Mario, she’s reluctant at first, but when she hears Peach is in trouble, she loosens up a little. Although still extremely wary of Mario, she agrees to help.

Mario’s primary goal is to find Luigi, knowing he can definitely help lend a hand looking for the princess. He eventually recovers him in that ghost galaxy he was stuck in. How ironic.

Over time, Mario and Luigi learn more about Rosalina’s past. Apparently, although not from the Mushroom Kingdom or even their planet, she was on a very similar planet with a human family of her own. That is, until the Shroobs invaded and drained her planet of all its resources, leaving her as the sole survivor. She keeps a watchful eye over the Mushroom Kingdom in fear that the Shroobs will one day return to it. If she can’t protect her home… Perhaps she can protect another place.

(Side note: as of this part in the story, Mario and Luigi don’t know jack about the Shroobs, so to them, it’s just a story about hostile aliens who… might attack the Mushroom Kingdom?)

They get Peach back from Bowser, and stop him from creating a new galaxy. Obviously the whole WELCOME NEW GALAXY!! thing doesn’t happen in this AU. I need this galaxy, thanks.

The gang bids farewell to Rosalina. She’s still pretty shut-off, but with a mumble, she promises to visit sometime.

PAPER MARIO: THE ORIGAMI KING

You ever wonder what those wacky Toads get up to on their days off?

Yeah, me neither. One day, Peach gets jumped by a little origami boy named King Olly and turned into origami, which he plans on doing to the entire world. He does this because he believes he was brought to life only as a mockery, and that he should show the entire world that origami is beautiful, rather than these unsightly lumps and grooves everyone seems to have.

Bowser gets stapled for his time. That’s what you get, idiot.

Olly manages to successfully kidnap Luigi as well, but can’t seem to be able to fold him into origami. It’s like something within him is protecting him… SIGH… Olly begrudgingly says he’ll “just fold Luigi last”. He and Olly have a lot of conversations about their siblings.

Mario goes to unfurl the streamers that block Peach’s castle, and along the way, he meets Olly’s sister, Olivia! She wants to stop Olly from turning the world into origami because, well, she likes the world! Along the way, they fight the Legion of Stationery, craft supplies turned giant by Olly’s magic. They also rescue the Origami Craftsman, who reveals that he wrote a message about Olly being a lovely king on him before he folded him to life. It was an act of love, not shame.

The gang manage to beat Olly, and before he can finish folding 1000 cranes to make a wish (The Star Spirits apologize. They really did forget about that method.), Olivia changes his heart, and instead wishes that everything folded by her brother would be unfolded. She sacrifices herself, and Olly, weakened, becomes unfolded as well. Mario is very sad. Luigi wonders if he should ignore the implication that the sunny, bright sibling is left to clean up the mess of the dark, broody sibling. That’s probably nothing.

SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY

Anyways, who wants a GLOBE-TROTTING FUN-VENTURE?! This totally isn’t the calm before the storm, before you ask!!!!!

Bowser decides to go for it, this time. And he means REALLY go for it. HE’S GONNA MARRY PEACH!!! Peach, obviously, isn’t as big a fan of this, but you know what that means! MORE KIDNAPPING! Mario now has to chase Peach across some of the outer Kingdoms way, WAY across the map- although some are familiar. Tostarena, for example, is a town in Sarasaland now, instead of just the Sand Kingdom! Just like the Seaside Kingdom is now a secluded spot on Isle Delfino! Et cetera, et cetera.

The Koopalings replace the Broodals. They’re all packed onto one boat. It’s as awkward as it sounds.

Mario has a teary reunion with Pauline, who’s now the mayor of New Donk City. He’s glad to see she’s doing so well for herself.

Luigi is by Mario’s side this time, of course, but since he doesn’t have a buddy from the Cap Kingdom, he does struggle to keep up quite often. Oh, well! That’s life, he supposes!

Wario also keeps popping by because he wants Mario to say hello. No, say hello like he MEANS it. He’s grimacing. He’s grimacing again. IS THAT REALLY ANY WAY TO TREAT YOUR COUSIN.

Mario manages to stop the wedding before Peach can even think of saying “I do”- but it’s not like she would ever say that anyways.

LUIGI’S MANSION: DARK MOON

Oh, wow! This time, Luigi isn’t getting tricked by winning a free thing! How novel! Yes, this time, E. Gadd has sent a letter inviting Luigi over to research ghosts with him in a place called Evershade Valley, which is apparently a habitat for many unique ghosts, and likely where all of Hellen Gravely’s hotel staff- as well as she herself- came from!

When Luigi gets there, though, trouble finds him quickly. He gets knocked out as soon as he arrives, he hears King Boo’s laugh in his ears… and when he wakes up again, he’s… HE’S… A GHOST?!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-

A voice tells him to stop screaming. Eldstar? Is that you? GRAMBI, MAYBE?? The voice speaks again, groaning that he NEEDS to stop screaming, because he’s NOT DEAD. Luigi turns to see that on the usual monitor he’d contact E. Gadd on, there’s someone else instead… A mysterious scientist with his face obscured.

He introduces himself as Professor Evershade, the leading scientist in Evershade Valley. He confirms that E. Gadd has been kidnapped by King Boo, and if Luigi wants to beat him, he’s going to need to piece together the Dark Moon, the ancient artifact that was buried in pieces here in Evershade Valley. It alone has the power to seal King Boo’s fate.

Evershade goes on to explain that Luigi’s new ghostly form isn’t permanent, it’s just a temporary power-up that Evershade invented. He can turn a button on a remote control to activate and de-activate ghost mode at will whenever he wants. Luigi navigates his way through the various mansions of Evershade Valley, using the ghost power-up to solve various puzzles within it.

This is where things get interesting. During the final mansion, when Luigi finally frees E. Gadd, Professor Gadd quickly rushes to tell Luigi he’s been deceived- but it’s too late. Appearing before the two of them, applauding sarcastically, is Professor Evershade. He whips off his hat and tears out his scarf, revealing that he’s a ghost- AND that he’s actually… LUIGI?!

Evershade begins to explain. Around this time, he becomes more of a recluse, with certain events that happen in the near future discouraging him from going on adventures with Mario. (You’ll know it when you see it. It’s in Partners In Time. But Luigi doesn’t know that yet!) He throws himself into ghost research with E. Gadd, but E. Gadd eventually passes, leaving Luigi as the lone researcher in Evershade Valley. The seal on E. Gadd’s containment cell for King Boo breaks after years of neglect and people just assuming it’s fine, and he immediately goes to find Luigi, ending his game for his insolence. Thanks to the power of King Boo’s crown, most weaker ghosts find themselves unable to disobey him… And now, that includes Luigi. Enraged and spiteful after being forced to work under his worst enemy for years, he formulates a plan. Apparently, some time in the future, something called the Cobalt Star gets unveiled from Peach’s basement, and Luigi, knowing about this, goes down to the basement to steal it for himself, so he can invent a time machine.

But why, Luigi asks? Why would Evershade invent a time machine and go back WAY before he was supposed to be killed?

Evershade responds simply. He doesn’t want to change some other version of him’s future- HE WANTS HIS MORTALITY BACK. And he was using his device to temporarily steal it… from HIMSELF. This is the final nail in the coffin that E. Gadd was warning Luigi about… The Dark Moon will grant Evershade the power to swap his mortality with Luigi… PERMANENTLY.

Him and Evershade get into a fight, and Luigi manages to win, with him chastising Evershade for falling so far from grace. Evershade, in turn, chastises him for being naive and not seeing the obvious. “This is the way that we are, Luigi. It’s the way we were always going to be.”

WHICH PROBABLY MEANS NOTHING.

But, y’know, how did Luigi end up trapped in Evershade Valley in the first place? That powerful barrier isn’t going away… perhaps Evershade was working with someone?

YES. KING BOO. But it’s OUR King Boo- the King Boo of the present. Evershade freed him in exchange for the king lending some of his power to help trap Luigi here. Oh, my, Evershade offered him freedom AND the fact that the present version of Luigi would become a ghost permanently, therefore being forced to work under him? Count him in.

King Boo is beaten. Luigi looks fear right in the eye. E. Gadd seals him inside the Dark Moon- Evershade DID say it had the power to seal fates! And he’s proud knowing that this sealing surely won’t break with time.

Evershade, pride wounded, tries retreating back into his time machine, before realizing… he’s fading away. Luigi just prevented his own terrible future.

But, y’know, as they return home, E. Gadd thinks… Is time travel really possible with that Cobalt Star? And if it is, is it actually in Peach’s basement? And- hey, wait a minute, if Evershade told them about that… did he find it out from E. Gadd too, who now… found it out from Evershade? Did- did they just create a time paradox?

Ugh. My head hurts.

MARIO & LUIGI: BOWSER’S INSIDE STORY

Luigi returns home just in time, as Mario quickly drags him out the door to go to Peach’s castle- apparently there’s an emergency conference. Looks like E. Gadd might have to wait a bit on that Cobalt Star follow-up!

All of the Mushroom Kingdom is getting immobilized by this disease called the Blorbs, and they need to- Oh, what the hell, why is BOWSER here?! Get out of here, man.

Anyways-

Bowser comes back like five minutes later after he ate a weird mushroom from a vendor. He accidentally ends up sucking Mario, Luigi and Peach right up, along with a Star Sprite named Starlow. So that’s why those guys are in there.

A-NY-WAYS, you remember Cackletta’s minion, Fawful? Yeah? Well, now he’s BACK, baby! With a vengeance! He plans to take over both the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms using his genius, and his first step? Trapping those meddlesome Mario bros. inside Bowser!

Bowser and the bros. now have to work together to stop Fawful from unearthing the Dark Star, an evil entity the Star Spirits THOUGHT they buried, HELLO, does nobody LISTEN to them anymore?

The Dark Star has no relation to any of the Star Children, but it does believe Bowser to be the Dark Star Child, taking his form in order to better conquer the world. Around this time, Fawful goes from being Fawful to a souped-up Dark Fawful… then downgraded to itty-bitty bug form, crawling inside Dark Bowser to help him there.

Bowser SAVES THE WORLD!! Wow, that… felt kinda good, actually. He never realized how fun it was hanging out with the bros. when he’s not attacking them… But- he’s still tough! Yeah! Don’t even think about assuming otherwise!

MARIO & LUIGI: PARTNERS IN TIME

Now that everything’s calmed down, E. Gadd FINALLY has the chance to ask Peach about looking in her basement for the Cobalt Star. And… lo and behold, there it is! Peach remembers it was her mother’s, and that they kept it sealed down here for a reason, but nobody can really remember that reason anymore, least of all her.

E. Gadd reveals a time machine he built, with a spot to slot that Cobalt Star RIGHT in! But before he can step in himself, the castle gets STORMED by these purple aliens- we, of course, know them as the Shroobs, but to the Mario bros, they’re unknown, and for Peach, they were just a hazy vision she saw in her nightmares sometimes.

Mario and Luigi try to fight them off, but they get knocked out and shoved inside the machine, presumably so the Shroobs can make sure they don’t cause any more trouble. When the bros. are woken up again, they’ve been transported to the “present” again… just not a present they know. This present has… Bowser and Luigi on the same side? Seems weird. Also unrelated. The princess also seems immensely frustrated at this. She orders her guards to knock out the brothers again so they don’t cause trouble (at least, that’s what they gleaned from her alien language), but they manage to get the upper hand, beating the Shroobs back. The only problem? The princess decides to repay this insolence by leaving them STRANDED. IN A PRESENT THAT ISN’T THEIRS.

Luigi is freaking out a little. Pacing back and forth. The works. Mario has an idea, though… This present doesn’t seem TOO badly scuffed by whatever those Shroobs did yet… maybe he can pay some old friends a visit.

He drags Luigi across the land for a bit, until they reach it- the Star Road, home of the Star Spirits. But, this time, there’s this GATE installed? (“This wasn’t here before,” Mario complains! “Maybe it’s an anti-Bowser measure in this timeline”, Luigi shrugs hopelessly.) The gate claims it needs to tests if the brothers are pure of heart. It gives Mario a pass with flying colours, but Luigi… It deems less than worthy. It says he’s a coward, he’s got darkness in his heart, and even accuses him of lying- He’s openly sobbing at this point as Mario starts hammering the gate in blind fury. The gate is like “WOAH WOAH STOP OKAY IT WAS A TEST I’M SORRY”. It reveals it was testing Mario and Luigi’s bond as brothers, and they passed, and that it REALLY DIDN’T MEAN ANY OF THAT STUFF LUIGI CALM DOWN. Luigi does eventually stop hyperventilating, and goes through the gate, but he does wonder… He wonders if maybe that gate wasn’t lying about everything.

Anyways, Mario finally reaches the Star Spirits, and chews Eldstar out for that stupid gate (“Not our fault, your brother is a real character”). He explains that he and Luigi are from a timeline where Luigi is a good guy, and something has gone terribly wrong thanks to some time-traveling Shroobs, and could they please have a time machine to use PLEASE. Eldstar nods sagely, agreeing that they seem like they’re the “true” versions of the bros. They temporarily present Mario with a watch that lets them time travel. Yay!

The next few parts of their adventure involve the bros desperately trying to give chase to the Shroobs, but each time they try to catch them, it seems the Shroobs are one step ahead, and they’re left in yet another alternate present.

Luigi starts noticing a fairly concerning pattern. That previous timeline had Luigi as Bowser’s right-hand man… And the more they travel, the more he sees it… A timeline where Luigi is turned into a vampire by Antasma, a timeline where the Dark Star forcibly implants itself onto Luigi, a timeline where Luigi is adopted by Cackletta and is Fawful’s main minion, Professor Evershade’s timeline is back again, a timeline where Luigi becomes Mayor Spike’s secretary, a timeline where Luigi is a Yoshi-hunter, a timeline where he just kinda snaps one day with no explanation… Why is it that Luigi is turning out evil in every single timeline…?

Finally, the bros manage to catch the moment in the past the Shroobs keep frantically returning to, as they keep going back to around that time, trying to influence something. That time… is when Mario and Luigi were babies.

Mario ends up bumping into Baby Mario before the Yoshis do, and the poor guy is crying about his brother so much that Mario has no choice but to take him along with them. Luigi asks if it’s okay if they’re meddling with time like that, sweating. Mario shrugs. The Shroobs have been doing it literally the entire time, why shouldn’t they?

Mario wants to get to Baby Peach as soon as he can to try and solve the mystery of what the Shroobs are after, but Baby Mario is indignant, crying and crying until he knows for SURE his brother is safe. Mario gives Luigi a pleading look- could he please go rescue his baby self?

Luigi nods. Of course. He won’t let his brother down. He runs off to the place he remembers only faintly- the Koopa kingdom before Bowser’s castle was built. He does find where his baby self is being kept, but he hides behind a rock to try and get the jump on Kamek, waiting for the right time. He waits in the shadows, spying on Kamek as he mills about.

That’s when he sees it- He sees Kamek lifting up his star necklace, sees that it’s purple, sees Kamek grumble and cast a spell so it looks gold. His blood runs cold. His face goes pale. He thinks he’s going to be sick. The Dark Star Child. The one everyone thought was just a myth. The one everyone shrugged and assumed was “probably going to be Bowser, anyways”. Luigi. Luigi was the Dark Star Child all along. He was the Dark Star Child and he didn’t even know, he didn’t know, was this why? Was this why Mario shot off before him? Was Luigi joining him a fluke? A mistake, because nobody knew what he truly was? THE DARK STAR CHILD? THE ONE DESTINED TO BE MARIO’S ENEMY ALL ALONG?-

Mario texts him from his corresponding watch, asking if he’s got his baby self yet. Luigi tries to shake off the impending panic attack and quickly nabs his baby self when Kamek isn’t looking, trying to will himself to stop shaking. He rejoins Mario when Mario flies a hot air balloon down to him, and they head to Peach’s castle to finally battle the Shroobs.

When they get there, Princess Shroob is shrieking in frustration, stomping her foot. The bros look confused, to say the least, but nearby, Russ, Peach’s father, catches them up. He’s figured out the Shroobish thanks to his language studies, and does a rough translation of it- apparently the bros came in just after Cerise sealed herself into the Cobalt Star, along with someone else… The princess is furious, she’s been trying to prevent THIS EXACT EVENT dozens of times over. She doesn’t understand why it isn’t working. But then- she realizes. She abandons the past entirely, zipping back into the present.

Before the bros give chase, Russ stops them with a weak smile, telling them he’s proud of them, and… to say hello to his little girl for him. The bros nod, and they zap to the future, taking the babies with them until they can defeat the Shroobs.

Back in the present, Princess Shroob begins RIPPING APART THE TIME MACHINE. All this time, she’s been trying to stop their old leader from being sucked into the Cobalt Star, and she never realized the Cobalt Star was buried deep inside the machine, FUELING IT! SHE NEEDS TO DESTROY IT! She smashes it onto the ground, and both Cerise and Elder Princess Shroob are freed, the younger sister cackling, grateful to be united with her older sister at last.

The brothers and the babies team up to defeat the monstrosity, and they KILL her. For good this time. The intergalactic conquerors flee in terror, deciding to leave the planet alone for good, now in mourning for the queen they just got back. (Good riddance, you pillagers.)

The brothers use the time travel watch one last time to return their past selves back home. They drop them off at their parents’ house, which is… roughly how they remember their parents finding them, anyways. They breathe a sigh of relief- apart from having some new alien-related childhood trauma, it seems they managed to keep the timeline intact.

Meanwhile, back at Peach’s castle, Peach gets to say a true goodbye to her mother. Cerise explains that she used the time-warping powers of the Cobalt Star to extend her and her husband’s lifespans, and it won’t be long now before she falls to the same rapid-onset aging that got her Russ. She kisses Peach goodbye and wishes her good luck before asking to be taken to the town of Rogueport to live out her last days, saying it “reminds her of her beloved one”.

Rogueport, huh…

PAPER MARIO: THE THOUSAND YEAR DOOR

This part of the saga starts with Peach traveling to Rogueport after her mother passes on, wanting to connect with her past and the stories of her parents more. She meets a mysterious merchant who presents her with a mystical box, and before you know it… she gets kidnapped. Poor girl.

Mario receives a letter inviting him to join Peach in Rogueport. She attaches a treasure map she got from the merchant, and the intrigue leads Mario to packing his bags right away! He asks if Luigi is ready to go, but Luigi shakes his head, seemingly really shaken by the events of Partners In Time. Huh. Guess he’s got a phobia of aliens too, Mario thinks…? Anyways, Mario heads out.

In town, Mario helps out a Goomba, Goombella, protecting her from Lord Crump and the X-Nauts, a mysterious sci-fi organization. Goombella has Mario take the magical map to her professor, Professor Frankly, who reveals that the map is a map to the Legendary Treasure of Rogueport, that lies beyond the Thousand-Year Door, and can only be opened by the seven Crystal Stars united. Treasure hunt! Treasure hunt!

Over time, as Mario collects the Crystal Stars, he realizes the X-Nauts have captured Peach, and that the “treasure” may not be what it seems…

Meanwhile, Bowser is on a quest to rescue Peach from her kidnapping, because ONLY HE CAN KIDNAP HER, DAMMIT! He’s also trying to find the Crystal Stars, but is turning up absolutely nothing.

Meanwhile meanwhile, even though he said he wanted to stay home, Luigi shows up in Rogueport, practically shaking… with excitement! He’s been contacted by Princess Eclair! The compass! The Marvelous Compass! He’s going to help her! He’s going to help everyone! He’s a hero! See! He really is! What was that you said about a ‘manic episode’?? He has noooo idea what you’re talking about! Ha ha! Boy, is Blooey giving you the stinkeye, too?! He definitely isn’t messing his whole quest up, see? This PROVES he’s a hero, right? RIGHT??

The Thousand-Year Door is opened, thanks to Mario getting tricked. Sir Grodus drags Peach through the Palace of Shadow, and offers her up to the Shadow Queen… The exact vessel that the Shadow Siren Beldam picked.

After all… Peach does have a shadow’s DNA within her, deep down. Perhaps it could be reawakened…

(We’ve known this part for ages, but for Mario and Peach, this is the grand reveal that Cerise was once a demon, a Shadow Sister.)

Before the Shadow Queen can get too far with that, though, Mario uses the power of the Crystal Stars to seal away the demon once more. With the combined power of the Stars being used against her AGAIN, and Mario being one of the Star Children, instead of simply being sealed away, she’s defeated- for good.

Peach wakes up, and Mario takes care of her during her slow recovery. Although a little shaken by the experience, there is one thing she doesn’t regret… She was glad she got to experience memories of her mother through her aunt’s eyes.

Also, if you’ve been keeping track, that means Peach is technically cousins of sorts with the Shadow Sirens! Surprise!

SUPER PAPER MARIO

Ahhh. What a lovely, regular day. Nothing will happen here. On this day. This regular day. Peach and Luigi definitely aren’t recovering from world-shattering revelations or anything.

Oh, no! Peach got kidnapped! Better head over to that silly Bowser’s place! Ha ha- ...Wait. Bowser’s saying he was just doing his minion pep-talk to head over to Peach’s place. If HE didn’t kidnap Peach… then who?

All of a sudden, teleporting in is a mysterious man in a cape and hat, proclaiming himself to be Count Bleck, a follower of the Dark Prognosticus. He reveals he’s the one who kidnapped Peach, and then proceeds to kidnap Bowser, all his minions, and Luigi. Mario managed to escape the fray.

He awakens to a mysterious creature known as a Pixl floating near him. She introduces herself as Tippi, and explains that while he was out, Count Bleck apparently forced a marriage between Peach and Bowser, as their union causes the creation of something known as the Chaos Heart. This gives Count Bleck the ability to create the Void, something that will end all worlds if given the chance. Oh, jeez.

Tippi brings him to a place called Flipside, where a wizard known as Merlon explains that Mario is one of the four heroes of legend, a hero mentioned in the Light Prognosticus. Mario questions this, and Merlon explains that the Dark Prognosticus is a dark, foreboding book that foretells the end of all worlds. The Light Prognosticus is a prophecy written to specifically counteract the dark one, foretelling that four heroes will save all worlds. Both prophecies mention that a “Man in Green” will be the deciding factor to which prophecy comes true.

Merlon also explains that the heroes are described as being “blessed by the stars”- and Mario realizes that THIS is where the idea of the Star Children comes from. Of course, Mario’s known for a LONG time now that he was one of the Star Children (Between various people telling him and him witnessing it himself as his baby self wore his half-star necklace), but MAN, what a realization- that this thing people have been calling you for a good chunk of your life is actually a WORLD-SAVING HERO. IT’S YOUR DESTINY. Now, he has to collect the 8 Pure Hearts and stop Count Bleck from destroying all worlds, along with reuniting with the other 3 heroes- The other 3 Star Children.

Mario finds Peach knocked out in Flipside after she was teleported away from Castle Bleck, and he finds Bowser in the Bitlands, trying to rule over an old abandoned castle he found. Bowser takes a bit more convincing, stubborn as he is. Kamek, weeping, begs Bowser to go save the world, and that he IS one of the Star Children, and he’s SORRY HE NEVER TOLD HIM. Bowser rolls his eyes, flatly telling Kamek that he knew he was one of the Star Children way before this. (“It was kinda obvious, Kamek.”)

Luigi, meanwhile, is less fortunate, having never escaped Castle Bleck. He’s eventually tracked down by Bleck’s secretary, Nastasia, and is brainwashed into becoming Count Bleck’s newest minion. MR.L, THE GREEN THUNDER! Of course, the Count makes it known to his other minions that he suspects Mr. L is the Man in Green, and having him on their side should ensure their victory and fulfillment of the prophecy.

Along the way, the three heroes are constantly made to duel with O’Chunks, Mimi, Dimentio, and the aforementioned Mr. L, Bleck’s minions sent to stop them.

The group comes to an impasse when they fail to prevent the destruction of one of the worlds- Sammer’s Kingdom. The Pure Heart is nullified, turned into rock, and they seem to be stuck. This is when Dimentio shows up, snapping his fingers and seemingly killing the heroes. (After taking a quick pit stop to kill Mr. L, too, of course!) This allows them to go into the Underwhere and ask Queen Jaydes to restore the Pure Heart. Jaydes agrees, and as Mario goes off to find Luigi beneath the River Styx, Jaydes and Peach catch up as aunt and niece.

Once they gather all the Pure Hearts, the heroes make the long trek to Castle Bleck, and are taken out one by one- O’Chunks and Bowser keep the ceiling from falling down, Mimi and Peach fall down a pit, and Dimentio seemingly… attempts a murder-suicide with Luigi??

Either way, Mario faces off against the Count, and the other three heroes show back up in the middle of the fight (with Luigi saying he has literally no idea how he wound up alive). They use the power of the Pure Hearts to defeat Bleck, and he reveals that he’s been waiting for this moment.

Of course, Bleck is Blumiere, a man from the Tribe of Darkness who was forbidden from seeing Timpani, a human woman. When Blumiere’s father cursed Timpani and made her disappear, Blumiere, in his depression, stole the Dark Prognosticus, vowing to end the world since it is not a world he can truly be happy in. Not without Timpani. And, of course, Timpani is Tippi, the woman cursed into becoming a Pixl.

Before Bleck can be killed, stopping the Void, Dimentio knocks him out of the way, claiming that the Chaos Heart won’t disappear if he continues to control it. He reveals his plan to create a perfect new world where he rules it as a god. He also exclaims that he’s going to unlock the true power of the Chaos Heart by fusing it with its ideal host- the Man in Green, the Dark Star Child, Luigi… They’re all yours, Mr. L!~

Luigi, thanks to a mind-controlling Floro Sprout that Dimentio secretly planted within him, fuses with the Chaos Heart without second thought, becoming a horrible man-chaos monstrosity, a three-way fusion between himself, the Chaos Heart, and Dimentio, very humbly named “Super Dimentio”. I don’t think you have to guess who had the naming privileges. Dimentio mocks Mario using his beloved brother’s voice, his beloved brother’s face (But not his smile. That is not how Luigi smiles.), and happily proclaims that the four heroes “used up” all the Pure Hearts, therefore leaving him as the invincible king of all worlds.

Meanwhile, in Dimension D, where Dimentio has teleported Bleck to die off in a little corner where he doesn’t need to see, Bleck and Tippi are found by their minions, who proclaim that they truly do love the Count, despite everything, and that he can’t give up- and THEY can’t give up on Mr. L! Luigi or not, their friend needs their help! The love that they’re showing- for Bleck, for Luigi, for the minions, for Tippi… It’s enough to summon the Pure Hearts, restored once more. After all. love is NOT a finite resource! Overjoyed, Tippi brings them back to Mario and co.

Dimentio is caught off guard by the appearance of the Pure Hearts. They seem to bring Luigi back to consciousness for a moment deep within the fusion, and he is able to temporarily take control. But when Mario gets to speak to his brother, what he doesn’t expect is to see Luigi’s lip quivering, black tears streaming down his distorted face. He tells Mario to just let him go- that he’s a monster who was never good enough to be his brother. He’s lost all hope. But Mario won’t let it end like that. He cries out that he REBUKES his destiny. He’s not a hero because he was FATED to be, he’s a hero because he CHOOSES to be! He doesn’t do good things because it was written in a dusty old book, he does it to see people smile! He didn’t tolerate Luigi because he didn’t know he was the Dark Star Child- He LOVES Luigi! Because he’s his BROTHER, dammit!

WE CAN CHOOSE OUR OWN DESTINIES, LUIGI! AND I CHOOSE TO SAVE YOU! BUT I CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT YOUR HELP!

Mario reaches out a hand- and Luigi’s massive glove touches itself to his. In the last few moments before Dimentio takes control again, he manages to make it so that his body is vulnerable to the Pure Hearts, and Super Dimentio’s invincibility vanishes. As Dimentio regains control, he lets out a scream of frustration. The heroes will pay for this!

But it’s too late. The Man In Green has chosen. Despite every force in the universe trying to make Luigi fulfill his destiny of becoming Mario’s darker half… Luigi’s love for his brother trumps it all. His goodness shines through, thanks to the goodness of the people he surrounded himself with. Super Dimentio is defeated by the heroes, and goes down shrieking. Before he and Luigi unfuse, Dimentio laughs, revealing that he’s left behind a shadow of his power to continue controlling the Chaos Heart. Even as the horrific fusion gets dragged into the Underwhere where it belongs and Luigi gets spat back out, there’s no time to celebrate. The world is ending within MINUTES if something isn’t done.

Bleck and Tippi agree to use the Pure Hearts to banish the Chaos Heart, knowing they will sacrifice their own lives in the process. They renew their vows, and in a flash… they’re gone.

The Star Children return to the Mushroom Kingdom, waving the people of Flipside goodbye. Luigi promises he’ll visit the Bleck minions soon. They all settle in, and realize… they’ve gotta have a talk.

AFTER THE STORM

Mario feels like he’s going to collapse under the pressure if he has one more GRAMBI-DAMNED PROPHECY HE HAS TO FULFILL. OH, HE IS SO SICK OF BEING A STAR CHILD. SO. STAR-DAMN. SICK. SICK OF IT. S-I-C-K. He wants to be a hero on his own terms, not because he’s destined to be one! But if he does, doesn’t that just mean he’s playing into this dumb prophecy anyways? He’s so tired of carrying peoples’ legacies on his back. The other three point out to him that in the end, wasn’t it Tippi and Bleck who defeated Dimentio and sealed away the Chaos Heart? And wasn’t it Mario himself who directly told the universe he wasn’t going to play their games anymore? Mario does have to admit that’s true. He breathes a sigh of relief, feeling a sense of… freedom. It’s been a while, but he finally feels like he can rest.

As for Peach, she’s always struggled with a sense of feeling like she doesn’t belong anywhere. After all, both her parents died/disappeared into the Cobalt Star when she was just a baby, and she was left with nothing but a kingdom full of Toads and so, so many questions. Even though she wasn’t expecting to be in the lineage of a thousand-year-old shadow demon, it’s… a bit of a relief, finally knowing. And through learning, she realizes that she’s always had a home- among the people who love her.

Bowser was always trained to be the best Koopa he could be, and what he thought he was, he was proud of! His entire kingdom was proud of him, wanting him to be the first Koopa to ever triumph over the Mushroom Kingdom! But he realizes… he’s much happier being a do-what-I-want antihero instead of constantly aiming for absolute conquest all the time. And he’s gonna tell Kamek that. …Though Kamek has considerably mellowed out over the years, too. Maybe Bowser’s always been forging his own path!

And Luigi… Oh, boy, Luigi. Everything comes spilling out at once. His feelings of inferiority, his impostor syndrome, his jealousy, his fear, him seeing Kamek disguise his star necklace, realizing he was the Dark Star Child all along, being horrified by himself, being constantly pushed by the universe to be a darker version of Mario, witnessing a dozen bad futures of himself… It was a lot. And- he’s still not sure any of those issues got solved… But he’s going to try his hardest to stand by his friends and let them in when he’s feeling like the world’s collapsing around him. He’s gonna tell them what he feels- even the ugly ones that he’s repressed for so long. He’s gonna live every day in spite of what the prophecies tried to twist him into.

#mario #super mario #fate of the stars au #paper mario #mario & luigi #mario au #IM NERVOUS POSTING THIS BUT. ILL BE STRONG.#lemme know if you liked it. this is kinda my baby \o/#yes i have a lot of au babies. im a father #also any inaccuracies from the source are probably intentional i promise you ok?#this is my au! things will be different!!

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