#panda responds

[pandapetals]

I have a request if you’re interested

Logan and Reader get into a really bad car accident and Reader ends up in the hospital with their injuries. Reader has temporary memory loss and Logan struggles with how long it could take for their memories to come back. I love the angsty stories 👀

Hi, I love angsty stories as well. When I read this I immediately thought of the movie The Vow. So, this is inspired by what I vaguely remember from it. Also, it’s longer than i thought it would be but i couldn’t help it. 

logan howlett x fem!reader - married couple, angst, car accident, inspired by the vow, no y/n used, slight reader description, logan POV, memory loss, self-loathing logan, guilt, past relationship, jealousy, ex-boyfriend, slight fluff at the end, not proofread—got lazy

Logan sat in the cold, sterile chair beside your hospital bed, his elbows digging into his thighs, hands tangled in his hair. His eyes, rimmed red from sleepless nights, stayed fixed on your face—pale and still against the stark white of the pillow. The steady hum and occasional beeps of the machines filled the room, a cruel symphony that reminded him how fragile your life had become.

Your chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths. He reached out, his fingers trembling as they brushed against the back of your hand. It felt wrong—too cold, too lifeless. You had always been so warm, so vibrant. The weight of the wedding ring on your finger, still there like a promise, made his throat tighten. He wanted to tell you he was sorry, but the words stayed trapped in the hollow silence between you.

He stared down at your hand as if by holding it tightly enough he could pull you back to him, back to the mornings when you'd steal the blanket and laugh at his protests. Back to the afternoons spent dancing in the kitchen to songs neither of you knew the lyrics to, back to before.

The argument played in his head on a loop, though the details were blurred now—just fragments of harsh words and raised voices. What had he even said to you? Something cruel, something stupid. Something about how he felt like he was being shut out lately. But wasn’t that the irony? He had shut you out first, hadn’t he? 

The look on your face, the way your shoulders had slumped, defeated, haunted him now. You’d grabbed your keys and your coat. Your voice was low and trembling as you said, “I just need some space, Logan.”

And he had let you go.

Why didn’t he follow you? Why didn’t he stop you? If he’d just swallowed his pride for one second, he could’ve called after you. Could’ve told you he didn’t mean it. Could’ve held you until the anger melted away. But he didn’t. You had walked out into the night, into the rain-slicked streets where headlights blurred like ghosts.

Now, you were here, unmoving, silent. A deep gash marred your temple, angry and red against your skin, and your arm was in a cast, bruises blooming dark along your collarbone. The doctors had said the words he never thought he’d hear: brain trauma, coma, uncertain recovery. They had said it calmly, clinically, as if they weren’t shattering his entire world.

Logan let out a shaky breath, leaning forward until his forehead rested on your hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of everything he wished he could undo. “I’m so sorry. I was stupid and angry, and I—” His words choked off into a sob he couldn’t hold back any longer.

The memory of seeing your car crushed on the side of the road burned in his mind. The twisted metal. The shattered windshield. The red and blue lights flashed as he ran toward the wreckage, screaming your name. He had gotten there too late to stop it. Just like he had gotten there too late to stop you from leaving.

Every moment since then had been a waking nightmare, the guilt eating away at him like acid. He stayed by your side day and night, afraid to leave in case something changed—afraid you might wake up and he wouldn’t be there. Or worse, afraid you might not wake up at all.

His fingers tightened around yours, desperate, as if holding on to you could tether you to this world. He thought about the vows you had exchanged on your wedding day. How you had promised to stand by each other, for better or for worse. But this…this was a kind of worse he had never imagined.

“I need you to come back to me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll fix it. Whatever I broke, I’ll fix it. Just…please.” His tears fell onto your skin, and he cursed himself for being so weak. For being the reason you weren’t awake to hear him.

The nurses came and went, adjusting the machines, checking your vitals, murmuring polite words he barely registered. To them, this was routine. To Logan, it was agony.

The night stretched on, each hour slower than the last. Logan stayed right there, clinging to hope and your hand. The moonlight streamed through the blinds, casting pale stripes across the floor. He thought about the life you had been building together—the plans, the dreams. He thought about how he had ruined it all with his anger, and his carelessness.

“I love you,” he said softly, leaning down to press his lips against your knuckles. His voice cracked as he added, “I don’t know how to do this without you.”

The stillness in the room was broken. Your fingers twitched—just the faintest movement, but enough to make Logan’s heart leap into his throat. He froze, staring at your hand as if he’d imagined it. Then it happened again, your fingers weakly curling around his.

When your eyelids fluttered open, his heart clenched. He straightened immediately, leaning forward, his breath caught somewhere between his chest and his throat.

Your gaze darted around the hospital room, wide and unfocused, like a bird trapped in unfamiliar skies. The fluorescent light painted your features in muted tones, and when your eyes finally landed on him, Logan froze. This was the moment he had prayed for, clung to in the stillness of endless nights. But the furrow of your brows, the faint confusion etched across your face, made the air in the room feel impossibly thin.

“Oh,” you murmured, your voice hoarse, as if trying it out for the first time. You glanced down at your hand, still encased in his, and a flicker of discomfort crossed your features. You gently, almost absently, tried to pull away.

Logan’s fingers tightened around yours instinctively, though he quickly released you, his hands retreating into his lap as if burned. “Hey,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. He swallowed hard, forcing a smile onto his face despite the warning bells going off in his chest. “You’re awake. That’s…that’s all that matters.”

You gave a polite, almost apologetic smile, the kind you’d offer a stranger holding the door open for you. “Are you…one of the doctors?” you asked, your voice lilting with curiosity. Then, with a faint chuckle, you added, “You don’t look like a doctor, though. Too handsome for that.”

The words hit Logan like a punch to the gut. His smile faltered, his throat tightening as he stared at you. He would have laughed—maybe even teased you back—if not for the hollow look in your eyes. The look that told him you weren’t joking, that you meant it.

His hand twitched in his lap, aching to reach for yours again, to anchor himself, but he didn’t dare. Instead, he forced out a soft laugh, though it sounded brittle, strained. “Not a doctor,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s me, Logan.”

You blinked, tilting your head slightly, studying him as if trying to piece together a puzzle that refused to fit. “Logan…” you repeated, testing the name on your tongue. “I—I don’t…” Your voice trailed off, confusion deepening in your eyes as you glanced around the room again. “I don’t understand. Where am I? What happened?”

The tight band around Logan’s chest grew unbearable, threatening to crush him from the inside out. He wanted to reach out, to hold you, to tell you everything would be okay—but how could he, when the person he loved most in the world looked at him like he was a stranger?

“You’re in the hospital,” he said gently, his words measured like stepping across thin ice. “You…you had an accident. A bad one. But you’re okay now. You’re safe.”

You nodded slowly, but your expression remained clouded. “An accident…” you murmured as if trying to grasp the edges of a memory just out of reach. Then your gaze flicked back to him, hesitant. “I’m sorry, but…I don’t know you.”

The words hit harder than he thought possible. Logan’s shoulders sagged under the weight of them, his hands clenching into fists in his lap as he forced himself to stay calm. He had prepared for this—doctors had warned him it might happen. But nothing could have braced him for the reality of hearing you say it.

“You don’t…” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, blinking rapidly to push back the sting of tears. “That’s okay,” he said quickly, though the words felt like shards of glass in his mouth. “You’ve been through a lot. It—it might take some time for everything to come back.”

You gave him another polite, uncertain smile, and the distance in it gutted him. “I guess so,” you said lightly, though your tone carried an edge of unease. “But…um, if you’re not a doctor, who are you?”

Logan’s jaw worked silently for a moment, his fingers curling tightly around the fabric of his jeans. How was he supposed to answer that? How could he possibly sum up everything you had been to each other—every laugh, every fight, every kiss—when you couldn’t even remember his name?

“I’m your husband,” he said finally, his voice quiet, trembling under the weight of the admission.

The room seemed to go still. Your eyes widened slightly, your expression shifting to something unreadable—shock, disbelief, maybe even fear. “My…husband?” you repeated, the word foreign and heavy on your tongue.

Logan nodded, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard. “Yeah,” he said softly. “We’ve been married for two years.”

You shook your head slowly, a small, nervous laugh escaping your lips. “I—I think you’ve got the wrong person,” you said, your voice tinged with apology. “I’m not married. I mean, the last thing I remember…I had just broken up with Henry…I don’t even…” You trailed off, looking down at your hands as if searching for answers in the lines of your palms.

Logan’s heart shattered into pieces, each word cutting deeper than the last. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think past the overwhelming ache in his chest. This was worse than any nightmare he’d ever had, worse than the accident, worse than waiting in that hospital room, hoping you’d wake up.

“You don’t remember me,” he whispered, more to himself than to you.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly, and the genuine regret in your voice almost destroyed him.

Logan leaned back in the chair, his hands covering his face as he tried to collect himself. He couldn’t fall apart, not now. Not in front of you. You needed him to be strong. But how could he be strong when the love of his life didn’t even know who he was?

When he finally looked up, your gaze was still on him, uncertain and wary. He forced a small, fragile smile, his voice breaking as he said, “It’s okay.”

You turned your head, your gaze drifting past Logan to the window, where the sunlight filtered through sterile white blinds. The light painted soft patterns on the hospital wall, but your expression remained distant, blank. When you finally spoke, your voice was quiet, tentative, as if testing the waters of your own thoughts.

“Are my parents here?” you asked, still not looking at him. “Do they know?”

Logan’s lips parted to answer, but then you added, almost absently, “What about Henry?”

The name hit Logan like a cold slap to the face. He felt his stomach drop, the ache blooming deep in his chest as if something vital had just been ripped out of him. Henry. Of course, you’d remember him. The name twisted in his mind, sharp and jagged. He forced himself to stay still, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the edge of the chair.

“Your parents know,” he said, his voice calm, betraying none of the storm raging inside him. “I’ll call them and let them know you’re awake.”

You nodded slightly, still gazing out the window, your profile softened by the daylight. You didn’t ask about Logan again. Didn’t even look at him. Just Henry. Henry, the man you had loved before him.

Logan pushed to his feet, the motion deliberate and slow as if moving too quickly might shatter the fragile calm he was trying to maintain. He had to get out of the room—just for a moment, long enough to breathe through the tightness in his chest.

“I’ll go get the doctor, too,” he said, his voice tight but even. “They’ll want to check on you.”

“Thank you,” you murmured, finally glancing at him, but it wasn’t the kind of look he was used to. It wasn’t filled with love or recognition. It was polite. Detached. The look you might give a kind stranger.

Logan’s heart twisted painfully, but he nodded and left the room. He made it halfway down the hall before his knees threatened to give out. Pressing a hand to the wall, he closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. She doesn’t remember you. She doesn’t remember you, but she remembers him.

It shouldn’t matter. The doctors had warned him this could happen—that memory loss could be selective, and inconsistent. It didn’t mean you loved Henry now. It didn’t mean you wouldn’t remember Logan someday. But the thought of you holding onto someone else while Logan had to start over? It tore him apart.

𓂃

You sat propped up in the hospital bed, the pillows arranged carefully by one of the nurses. Your parents were on either side of you, their voices gentle as they spoke to you, relief etched into their faces. The doctor stood near the end of the bed, clipboard in hand, explaining something in medical terms that felt both simple and complicated.

Logan lingered just outside the room. He didn’t want to intrude. But he also couldn’t leave—couldn’t bring himself to step away when every part of him screamed to be near you.

He could hear your mother’s voice rising and falling, warm and comforting. You were laughing now, though it was light and hesitant as if you weren’t sure how to feel. Logan closed his eyes, leaning his head against the doorframe. He wanted to be there with you, to tell your parents how long he had waited for you to wake up, to reassure them that he hadn’t left your side. But when he finally stepped inside, you looked up, your expression unreadable.

“Logan,” you said, and his name sounded unfamiliar on your lips. He held his breath, waiting for something—anything—but instead, you hesitated. “Um…would you mind giving us a little privacy? I just…I want to talk to my parents for a bit.”

His chest tightened. The words shouldn’t have hurt as much as they did, but they knocked the air out of him anyway. He glanced at your parents, who exchanged awkward, apologetic looks. Then his eyes flicked back to you, searching your face for some sign that you didn’t really mean it. But you were waiting, patiently as though asking him to leave was nothing out of the ordinary.

“Of course,” Logan said quickly, swallowing down the lump in his throat. His voice was steady, but he couldn’t stop his hand from curling into a fist at his side. “Take your time.”

He turned and walked out before the cracks in his facade could show. Each step away from you felt heavier like it was sinking him deeper into quicksand. Once he was out of earshot, he leaned against the wall in the hallway, his head hanging low, his hands bracing his knees.

Logan had spent days, weeks, clinging to hope that you would wake up. But this? This was a new kind of agony. You were awake, alive, breathing—and yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had already lost you.

Eventually, your parents emerged from your hospital room, their relief evident in the softening of their faces. Your mother spotted Logan first, her lips pressing into a trembling smile as she hurried toward him. She wrapped him in a tight embrace before he could even react, her arms warm but shaking slightly.

“Logan,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.” Her words carried the weight of a shared grief, a mother’s heartbreak that mirrored his own.

Logan’s throat tightened, but he managed a small nod, his arms briefly returning the hug before she pulled back, dabbing at her glassy eyes with the corner of her sleeve.

Your father approached next, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his coat. A man of few words, he wasn’t the type to display emotion often, but there was something raw in the way he looked at Logan. His jaw worked as if wrestling with what to say, and finally, he reached out, patting Logan on the shoulder.

“She’ll remember you, son,” he said quietly, the gruffness in his voice doing little to hide the uncertainty beneath it.

Logan nodded again, forcing a small, tight-lipped smile. “I hope so,” he replied softly, though the words felt hollow in his chest. He didn’t know if he believed them.

Your parents lingered for a moment longer, your mother touching his arm gently before they walked down the hallway, their figures disappearing around the corner. Logan stood there for a beat, staring at the door to your room. He could hear faint sounds—your voice, movement, the subtle hum of machines.

His heart pounded. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face you again, not after the way you had asked for privacy, not after hearing you ask about Henry. But he couldn’t stay away. 

Inside the room, you were sitting up slightly, your hair mussed against the pillows, your expression caught somewhere between exhaustion and curiosity as you fiddled with the edge of the hospital blanket. When Logan stepped inside, you looked up, your lips parting slightly in recognition—not quite familiarity, but something softer than before.

“Hi,” you said, tilting your head.

“Hi,” Logan replied, his voice barely above a whisper as he closed the door behind him. He stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure if he should approach, but when you didn’t tell him to leave, he slowly crossed to the chair by your bedside.

“You don’t have to sit so far away,” you said, surprising him. There was a faint hint of amusement in your tone, a flicker of the warmth he had spent years falling in love with.

Logan’s breath hitched, but he smiled, moving closer, pulling the chair right next to your bed. “Better?” he asked lightly, his heart skipping at the way you almost—almost—smiled back.

“Better,” you murmured. You studied him for a moment, your brows furrowing as if you were trying to solve a puzzle. “So…you’re Logan?”

He nodded, his throat tightening again. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“And we’re married?” you asked, tilting your head. There was no edge to your voice, just genuine curiosity as if you were asking about someone else’s life.

“Yeah,” he said softly, leaning forward slightly, his hands clasped tightly between his knees. “For two years now.”

You let out a soft breath, shaking your head in disbelief. “That’s so crazy. I mean, I don’t feel married.” You glanced down at your hand, frowning at the simple wedding band that still adorned your finger. “It’s weird…I don’t even remember the wedding.”

Logan’s chest ached, but he forced a small, hopeful smile. “It was beautiful,” he said. “You picked this little garden venue. Said you wanted it to feel like something out of a fairy tale.”

Your lips quirked upward slightly, and for the first time, you looked at him like you might want to believe him. “That does sound like me,” you admitted, your voice lightening.

He chuckled softly, daring to hope, just a little. “It was the happiest day of my life,” he added quietly, his gaze dropping to your hand.

You hesitated, glancing back at him. “So…what’s the story with us?” you asked, curiosity shining in your eyes now. “How did we even meet?”

Logan’s heart lifted at the question, the smallest spark of hope igniting in his chest. He launched into the story, telling you about the coffee shop where he had spilled an entire latte on your laptop and offered to pay for the repairs. How you had laughed, waved him off, and then somehow ended up sitting with him for hours, talking about books and movies until the shop closed.

You listened intently, your head tilting, the faintest smile tugging at your lips. Logan felt like he wasn’t completely invisible to you. Like maybe he could remind you of what they had.

But then the door creaked open behind him, and Logan’s voice faltered. He turned, his stomach dropping as he saw him.

“Henry,” you said, your entire face lighting up in a way that made Logan feel like the air had been sucked out of the room.

“Hey,” Henry replied, stepping into the room with a boyish grin, far too casual for Logan’s liking.

You beamed, sitting up straighter, your eyes sparkling with recognition. “You’re here!”

Logan watched as Henry strode over to your bedside, his confidence unshaken, his presence commanding. You laughed at something he said—light and free, like it came effortlessly. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Logan’s chest tightened painfully as he watched you smile at Henry in a way you hadn’t smiled at him once since you woke up. It wasn’t fair—Logan knew that. It wasn’t your fault. But watching you joke with Henry, watching you light up for someone who wasn’t him? It hurt more than he thought was possible.

He shifted in his chair, suddenly feeling like an intruder in a space that should have been his.

“I…I’ll give you two some time,” Logan mumbled, standing abruptly.

You glanced at him, a flicker of guilt crossing your features, but it was gone almost as quickly as it came. “Oh, okay,” you said, your tone polite but distracted as your gaze returned to Henry.

Logan didn’t say another word. He slipped out of the room, his heart heavy, his hands shoved into his pockets to stop them from shaking. Once the door clicked shut behind him, he leaned against the wall, staring blankly at the floor as your laughter drifted faintly through the cracks.

He had thought there was hope. For a fleeting moment, he had believed he could reach you. But now, as the laughter continued, all he could feel was the growing weight of doubt pressing down on him, threatening to crush what little hope he had left.

𓂃

Henry had finally left, his departure marked by the faint echo of his footsteps down the hallway. The air in the hospital felt quieter now, the tension that had lingered in Logan’s chest slightly eased but was not gone. Night had begun to creep in, soft shadows stretching across the halls, but Logan couldn’t bring himself to leave.

He sat slumped in one of the chairs by the wall outside your room, his head in his hands, exhaustion pulling at his body like weights. He knew he should go home—sleep, shower, eat something that wasn’t from a vending machine—but the idea of leaving you even for a little while felt impossible.

Just as he was steeling himself to push through the door and check on you, it opened. He froze, his breath catching as you stepped out. You were still in your hospital gown, though you’d tucked it neatly into a pair of oversized gray sweats. Your casted arm hung awkwardly at your side, and your steps were unsteady, the hospital socks slipping slightly against the tile.

Logan shot to his feet without thinking, reaching you in three strides. “Whoa, easy,” he said, his hands gently gripping your uninjured arm to steady you.

You let out a soft laugh, a sound so warm and unexpected that it made something flutter in his chest. “I’m fine,” you said, though you didn’t pull away. In fact, you leaned into his touch, just slightly, the way you might lean into a doorway for balance.

“Fine?” Logan’s brows rose in disbelief as he adjusted his grip, his fingers steadying you at your waist. “You’re wobbling like a baby deer.”

“I’m starving,” you shot back, ignoring his concern and offering a playful roll of your eyes. “And no one’s feeding me in there, so what was I supposed to do? Waste away?”

He huffed a laugh, shaking his head but unable to stop the grin that tugged at the corner of his lips. “You should’ve buzzed the nurse.”

“I did. She brought me some mystery soup that smelled like feet. Hard pass.”

Logan snorted, his laugh slipping out before he could stop it.

You glanced up at him, the corner of your mouth twitching into a grin. “Anyway, I asked Henry if he’d go to the cafeteria for me.”

Logan stiffened at the name, his heart sinking slightly. “And?” he asked cautiously, trying to keep his tone neutral.

Your grin faded, letting out a low scoff, shaking your head in exasperation. “And the fucking asshole said, and I quote, ‘Are you sure you want to gain weight from that trash?’”

Logan blinked, his brows pulling together. “What?”

You rolled your eyes again, more dramatically this time, but there was humor in it. “Yeah, I know, right? What a prince.”

Logan couldn’t stop the rush of emotions that surged through him: relief, amusement, and a flicker of hope he hadn’t dared to feel since the accident. “That doesn’t sound very…supportive,” he said carefully, though his lips twitched with the effort not to smirk.

“Yeah, no kidding,” you replied dryly, then tilted your head slightly, studying him with a faint smirk. “You, though? You seem like the kind of guy who’d smuggle me in a cheeseburger if I asked nicely.”

The teasing glint in your eyes caught him completely off guard, and for a second, he forgot how to breathe. The playfulness in your tone, the familiarity in the way you looked at him—it was the closest you’d come to being you again.

“Cheeseburger, fries, milkshake,” Logan listed, trying to match your energy, his grin breaking free despite himself. “Name it, and I’ll make it happen.”

“Careful,” you warned with a mock-serious expression, though your lips curved into a smile. “I might actually hold you to that.”

“Good,” Logan said softly, his voice dropping just enough that you blinked up at him, something unreadable flickering in your expression. For a moment, the space between you felt smaller, the weight of your shared history—your love, your life together—lingering in the air even if you couldn’t remember it.

Then you broke the moment with a small laugh, glancing past him down the hallway. “Okay, so…where’s the cafeteria?”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Logan said firmly, his hands still steadying you. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you.”

Your lips parted, surprised, but then you smiled again—this time softer, more genuine. “Fine. Surprise me.”

He smiled back, his chest feeling lighter than it had in days. For the first time since the accident, there was something else besides fear, guilt, and heartbreak. There was a spark—a tiny ember of hope.

When Logan returned with a tray of food, you were back in bed, the blanket pulled up over your legs as you flipped through the channels on the TV remote. The sight of you looking so at ease, so normal, made his throat tighten.

“Delivery service,” he joked, setting the tray on the table beside you.

You eyed the burger and fries with mock suspicion. “Okay, points for presentation. But does it taste as good as it looks?”

“Only one way to find out,” he quipped, handing you the burger.

You took a bite of the burger, your eyes widening slightly as the flavors hit your tongue. “Okay,” you murmured, groaning softly in approval. “That’s better than I expected.”

Logan sat in the chair beside your bed, the faintest smile tugging at his lips as he watched you eat. He didn’t say anything letting the sound of your quiet satisfaction fill the room. You looked comfortable, at ease—more yourself.

You glanced at him, catching the way he was looking at you, and tilted your head. “What?” you asked, a small, teasing smirk tugging at your lips.

He shook his head, his smile growing slightly. “Nothing. Just glad to see you’re enjoying it.”

You eyed him for a moment, then plucked a fry from the tray and held it out toward him. “You want some?”

Logan blinked, caught off guard. “I’m good,” he started to say, but you waved the fry in his direction, insisting.

“Come on,” you said, your tone light but with a faint edge of concern. “My mom told me you haven’t left. You should probably eat something before you pass out.”

He hesitated, the simple gesture tugging at something deep inside him. You didn’t know who he was—not fully, not yet—but there was something familiar in the way you looked at him just then. It wasn’t quite recognition, but it wasn’t indifference, either.

“You’re stubborn, you know that?” Logan said with a soft chuckle, leaning forward to take the fry from your fingers.

“So I’ve been told,” you replied playfully.

The moment felt light and ordinary, but something struck Logan as extraordinary. The way you’d handed him the fry, the way you spoke to him—it reminded him of the quiet intimacy you used to share in your everyday moments. It wasn’t everything, but it was something.

As Logan chewed the fry, you leaned back against the pillows, watching him curiously. “So, did you really not leave?” you asked, your tone quieter now.

He swallowed, glancing down at his hands. “I just…wanted to be here,” he said, his voice soft but steady. “In case you woke up.”

You studied him for a moment, your expression unreadable. “That’s really…sweet,” you said finally, your lips curving into a small, almost shy smile. “I mean, you’re my husband but…thank you.”

Logan looked up at you then, his chest tightening at the vulnerability in your voice. He wanted to tell you everything—to remind you of the life you’d built together, to make you remember how much he loved you. But he didn’t. Instead, he smiled softly and said, “You don’t have to thank me. I’d do it a hundred times over.”

You blinked, something flickering in your expression—something that made Logan’s breath catch. It was brief, fleeting, but for a moment, it almost seemed like you were seeing him.

“Did we know each other a long time before we got married?” you asked suddenly, your gaze searching his face.

The question caught him off guard, but he nodded. “Yeah. We knew each other for a while.”

You frowned slightly as if trying to piece together a memory that stayed just out of reach. “You feel…familiar,” you admitted, your voice quieter now, almost to yourself. “It’s weird because I don’t remember you, but…being around you doesn’t feel wrong. It’s…nice.”

Logan’s heart ached at your words, the mix of hope and longing almost too much to bear. He wanted to hold on to the tiny glimmer of connection you were offering, even if it wasn’t the same as before.

“It’s nice for me, too,” he said softly, his voice steady despite the lump in his throat.

You smiled at that—small and tentative, but genuine. Logan felt a flicker of hope. Maybe you didn’t remember him. Maybe you didn’t remember the life you’d built together, the love you’d shared. But something was still there, beneath the surface, waiting to be rediscovered.

You handed him another fry without a word, and this time, he took it without hesitation.

[cryingmusicmurder]

Hey!

Just wanted to say thank you so much for liking a whole bunch of my art!!

I really appreciate it!! =D

Oh it was really nothing, I really enjoyed going through your account! I always like seeing comics and things like that, and I can tell you really like the characters you draw! 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 I like how you color too <3

[pinknerdpanda]

MANDA!! Love you! I hope you had a good week!! 💓💓💓💓

BAYYYYY!!! Omg hiiiiiii!!

I love you tooooo!! Life has been a fucking trip lately. Lol How are youuuuu?!

[ffcrazy15]

Someone needs to do an analysis on the way the Kung Fu Panda movies use old-fashioned vs. modern language ("Panda we meet at last"/"Hey how's it going") and old-fashioned vs. modern settings (forbidden-city-esque palaces/modern-ish Chinese restaurant) to indicate class differences in their characters, and how those class differences create underlying tensions and misunderstandings.

[bluepandadraws-log]

Life Updates

New art and commissions will be a bit slow for now, the Mental Illness ™️ is Mentally Illing everywhere and living is currently a bit of a struggle. On the bright side, I do have most of the October tadc comics ready (will post them on Ko-fi tomorrow), so get ready for that!

[slycooperconfessions]

"Not gonna lie, Carmelita Fox was my first fictional crush alongside Captain Amilia from Treasure Planet and Master Tigress from Kung Fu Panda (It seems I have a type)"

Confessed by: Anonymous

(My brother in Christ, you are a furry. And also a bottom. ~Mod)

[puhpandas]

SCOTT HAS JUST CONFIRMED TALESGAMES AND STICHLINEGAMES ARE CANON

people in the replies said the same thing but this is a classic way of scott cawthon either dodging the question or saying 'its up to interpretation, you get to choose'. i dont think that statement applies though because like. there are literally some canon books in TFTP that arent apart of a special (clearly canon) epilogue line and the epilogues in FF like. are kinda impossible to work in universe. so my guess is dodging the question

[bearotonin-international]

Hi, hello, I hope everyone is having a good day

Juste wanted to ask if you had any pandas you would be willing to share with the world.

we suppose we can share an occasional bear or two

[stoopidassjamesfranco]

A Starless Clan?? More like a Sapphic Clan!

based on the twitter interaction under tw: homophobia

[thepandalion]

I love how pandas are so entrenched into my theming and personality now that my mom stopped in the middle of her errands to buy me a panda onesie because she saw it and immediate knew I'd want one

[pandapetals]

ong i love your writing! can i please get a x1 logan fic where the reader is a ballerina? she’s been alive for a long time just like logan with the same regeneration ability. they meet when she is invited to the x mansion for something. but he walks in on her dancing swan lake? if not i totally understand. a girl can dream 💗✨

Hi! Thank you so much and sooo sorry for how long it took. I’ve been busy finishing school and sleep-deprived. Hopefully, i did it justice. Idk what this is lol but i ran with it. It turned into a mini fic....anyway, I always wanted to be a ballerina when I was a kid so this lowkey fulfilled my dreams.

logan howlett x fem!mutant reader - angst, minor fluff, reader has established relationships with x-men especially hank, slight reader description, no y/n used, reader has met logan before but he doesn’t remember, timeline sort of follows X1 & X2, ballet references

You stood in the middle of the mansion’s wide, polished hallway, the faint smell of waxed floors and old books swirling around you. The hum of distant voices, laughter, and the occasional crash of something breaking echoed deeper within the sprawling mansion. You smoothed your palms over your thighs, fingers brushing against the soft cotton of your dance tights beneath your coat. This place hadn’t changed—well, not in the ways that mattered.

Storm walked beside you, her silver hair catching the sunlight spilling through the grand windows, while Scott trailed just behind, his arms crossed in his usual no-nonsense stance. You saw your reflection in one of the hallway mirrors—unchanged. Despite the weight of decades, your skin was still smooth, and your body lithe. This place carried ghosts for you, but not the kind that faded with time.

"Still feels the same," you murmured under your breath, your voice almost swallowed by the mansion's high ceilings.

Storm turned, a small smile pulling at her lips. "The kids grow up, and new ones come in, but the mansion stays the same."

"Right down to the same smell of burnt toast from the kitchen every morning," Scott added, his tone dry. He gave you a sidelong glance, the faintest hint of warmth breaking through his stoicism. "You'll fit right in again. Hank’s been talking about your return for weeks. I think he's been counting the days."

Storm chuckled softly, her voice lilting like the whisper of wind through trees. “You’d think he was the one with a photographic memory.”

As if summoned by your name, a deep, rumbling voice boomed from behind. “Is that—no, it can’t be.”

You turned just in time to see Hank bounding into view, his blue fur almost shimmering in the light. His tailored blazer looked comically out of place over his hulking, beastly form, but the warm smile on his face was the same as you remembered.

"Hank!" you exclaimed, your smile splitting wide as you stepped forward. His massive arms enveloped you in a bear hug, lifting you clean off your feet.

"My dear, you haven’t aged a day!" he declared, setting you back down but keeping his enormous hands on your shoulders as if to confirm you were real.

“Well, you know me. Perks of the trade,” you said lightly, but his words brought a pang you quickly shoved aside. You tilted your head up at him. “You, on the other hand, look fluffier than ever.”

Hank laughed, the sound rolling through the hallway like thunder. “You flatter me.” He released you with a fond pat on the back. "Though I must admit, it’s wonderful to see you again. It hasn’t been the same without you."

Scott cleared his throat, his voice tinged with impatience. “As much as I enjoy a good reunion, we still have the tour to finish.”

You smirked. “Still as serious as ever, huh, Summers? Don’t worry, I won’t let Hank hold us up too long.”

As the group moved down the hallway, your footsteps were light against the polished floor. A gruff voice cut through the air, stopping you in your tracks.

“Who’s the new recruit?”

You froze. You knew that voice—low, gravelly like it had been dragged across gravel and left to smolder. Turning slowly, you locked eyes with Logan. He leaned casually against the doorframe, one hand resting on the frame, the other holding a cigar he hadn’t bothered to light. His eyes raked over you, sizing you up with an air of detached curiosity.

“Logan,” you said, the name tasting familiar on your tongue, like a song you hadn’t sung in years.

He cocked an eyebrow. “Do I know you?”

For a second, you almost told him. The memories of a fight decades ago—the clash of claws and fists, the way his grin had split his face after every victory—flashed through your mind. But his blank stare reminded you he wouldn’t remember. Not this version of him. Not after what they’d done to him.

“Not really,” you replied with a shrug, masking the ache behind a practiced nonchalance. “But I’ve heard of you. Big fan of the ‘snikt-snikt’ routine.”

His lips twitched, the barest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners. “Cute.” He pushed off the doorframe, his boots thudding against the hardwood as he walked closer. “What’s your story?”

You mirrored his casual stance, crossing your arms as you looked up at him. “I’m here to teach ballet. Figured the kids could use some culture.”

“Ballet?” Logan snorted, his grin widening. “Yeah, I’m sure that’ll be real useful in a fight.”

You smirked back. “You’d be surprised. I could take you down in three moves.”

“Three, huh?” He tilted his head, his eyes glinting with amusement. “You’re confident. I like that.”

“Is that your way of saying you’d like a demonstration?”

Before he could reply, Storm cut in, her voice carrying an edge of authority. “Logan, play nice. She’s here to help, not trade punches with you.”

Logan raised his hands in mock surrender, his grin never faltering. “Alright, alright. But don’t blame me if she ends up knocking one of the kids on their asses in the Danger Room.”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped out. Logan might not remember you, but some things about him hadn’t changed.

As he walked away, cigar tucked back between his teeth, you turned to Storm, who was watching you with a knowing look.

“Well,” you said, “this is going to be fun.”

Storm chuckled. “Oh, I think you’ll fit right in.”

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

The room smelled faintly of lavender, likely from whatever freshener Storm had insisted on using, and the golden light of late afternoon streamed through the large windows. You sat cross-legged on the neatly made bed, hands resting on your knees, staring absently at the few belongings you’d unpacked. A duffel bag in the corner. A framed photo of you and Hank from years ago—his arm slung over your shoulder, your face mid-laugh. It felt surreal, almost too heavy to keep looking at.

You shrugged as if trying to loosen the weight pressing on your chest. It was nice to be back, even if it stirred old memories you’d locked away. Memories of laughter, battle, and the kind of losses that didn’t fade with time. But this was temporary. Just another stop along your endless road, you reminded yourself. You never stayed anywhere long enough to leave roots. You couldn’t.

A knock at the doorframe broke your reverie.

“Mind if I come in?” Hank’s familiar baritone rang out, warm and tinged with his usual politeness. He stood there, one hand resting on the frame, his blue fur catching the golden light.

“Course,” you said, a smile pulling at your lips as you waved him in.

He stepped into the room, his hulking frame seeming almost too big for the cozy space. But the way he moved—careful and precise—kept it from feeling intrusive. He glanced around, his sharp eyes taking in the bare walls and the sparse unpacking. “Travel light as always, I see.”

“Old habits die hard,” you said with a shrug. “Besides, I’m not planning on staying long.”

Hank’s brows furrowed, but he didn’t press the matter. Instead, he crossed the room and plopped into the chair at the small desk, the furniture groaning under his weight.

“We have a lot of catching up to do,” you said, your smile softening. “It’s been...”

“Ten years,” he finished for you, his voice quiet but firm.

Your smile faltered, and you looked away, the guilt settling in your stomach like a stone. “I’m sorry,” you said finally in a whisper.

Hank waved you off, the gesture almost as familiar as the amused twinkle in his eyes. “Don’t worry about it, dear. I know you had your reasons for running off. It just would’ve been nice to know you weren’t, you know, dead in a ditch somewhere.”

That earned a small laugh as you rubbed the back of your neck. “Yeah, I guess I could’ve done better on the whole ‘staying in touch’ thing, huh?”

“Just a bit,” he teased, leaning forward and resting his chin on his massive hand. “I missed you, you know. Things have been... quieter without you around.”

You grinned. “Me? I think you’re confusing me with someone else.”

“Oh no,” he said, his eyes glinting with playful mischief. “I distinctly recall a certain someone sneaking into my lab at three in the morning to swipe beakers for—what was it—homemade glow-in-the-dark paint?”

You laughed, the sound bright and unguarded. “In my defense, it worked! That mural in the attic was a masterpiece.”

“And I had to spend an entire week re-organizing my lab. You’re lucky I’m so forgiving,” he said, though the grin on his face made it clear he didn’t regret a second of it.

The laughter between you settled into a comfortable quiet, the kind of silence only shared between old friends.

Hank cleared his throat, his tone turning curious. “So, how are you feeling about being back? I know it can’t be easy.”

You leaned back on your hands, glancing up at the ceiling. “It’s... weird. Good, but weird. This place has so many memories, you know? Feels like I’m walking through a time capsule. Everyone’s so familiar but different at the same time. Even Logan.”

Hank’s eyebrows shot up. “Logan?”

You nodded, a sly smile tugging at your lips. “Ran into him in the hallway earlier. He asked who I was.”

“And did you tell him?”

Your smile faded slightly, replaced by something more wistful. “Just said I was here to teach ballet and that I’d heard of him.”

Hank tilted his head, studying you. “You’ve met him before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah,” you admitted, your voice soft. You traced the edge of the duvet with your finger, eyes distant. “A long time ago. Before he lost his memory.”

Hank frowned. “And he doesn’t remember?”

You shook your head. “Nope. Not a thing.”

“That must’ve been... hard,” Hank said, his voice gentle, always the considerate one.

You shrugged, forcing a small, tight smile. “It’s not like I expected him to. Besides, it’s probably better this way. Less complicated.”

“Hmm,” Hank murmured, leaning back in the chair with his arms crossed. “Well, complicated or not, he seems intrigued by you. I caught him muttering something about ‘ballet instructors with an attitude’ after he saw you.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. “Sounds about right. I think I annoyed him within thirty seconds of meeting him. New record?”

Hank chuckled. “Perhaps. Though, if I know Logan, that probably just means he respects you already.”

You snorted. “Yeah, sure. Respect. That’s what I’m calling it.”

Hank grinned at your sarcasm, but his expression softened as he leaned forward again. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here. Even if it’s just for a little while. The place feels more like home with you in it.”

The words struck a chord deep in your chest, and you looked down, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve to avoid his gaze. “Thanks, Hank. That means a lot.”

“You mean a lot,” he said simply, his sincerity cutting through any attempt to downplay his words.

The two of you fell into an easy silence again, but this time it was heavier with unspoken things. Things you didn’t have to say, because after all these years, Hank just knew.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

“Great work today,” you said gently, crouching to pat one of the kids on the head. The little girl beamed up at you, her hair still pinned into a slightly crooked bun from class.

“Thanks!” she chirped before bounding off toward the theatre entrance, where a gaggle of other students waited.

“I’ll see you all tomorrow, bright and early!” you called after them, your voice carrying across the empty rows of seats. A few of them waved over their shoulders, laughter spilling into the hall as they disappeared through the double doors.

The stage was quiet now, the faint scent of resin and sweat lingering in the air. You stood there staring out at the rows of chairs that stretched into a shadow. The polished floor beneath your feet caught the faint gleam of overhead lights, reflecting a ghostly version of yourself back at you.

Your shoulders sagged as you sighed, the stillness pressing around you like a heavy blanket. This place stirred something deep in you, something you hadn’t felt in years. You glanced down at your feet, your sneakers looking almost out of place against the elegant backdrop of the stage. Your eyes drifted, drawn to a battered old prop chest tucked just off to the side, partially hidden by the heavy velvet curtain.

Curiosity pulled you forward, and you crouched to flip open the lid. A cloud of dust puffed out, tickling your nose as you rummaged through its contents. Costumes, ribbons, bits of tulle—faded relics from long-forgotten performances. And then, nestled at the very bottom, you found them.

A pair of pointe shoes.

Your breath hitched as you lifted them from the chest, the ribbons cascading down like silk waterfalls. They weren’t yours—at least, not exactly—but they might as well have been. The scuffed toes, the frayed edges of the satin, the way the soles were worn down just so—it was all so familiar it made your chest ache.

Without really thinking, you sat down on the edge of the stage, untying your sneakers and slipping off your socks. The cool satin of the pointe shoes slid over your feet like a second skin, and your fingers moved on autopilot as you laced the ribbons up your ankles. The motions were muscle memory, older than most of the students you’d taught today.

You rose slowly, the faint stretch and pull of the shoes grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you’d needed. A glance backstage revealed a small sound system someone had left behind, a phone still plugged into it. You scrolled until you found it—Swan Lake.

The haunting strings began to play, swelling and softening as if they were breathing. You stepped back onto the stage, your toes brushing the center mark, and let the music guide you.

At first, you moved tentatively, testing the feel of the shoes and the way your body responded. But soon, the hesitance melted away, and the steps came to you as naturally as breathing. A pirouette turned into an arabesque, which melted into a series of gliding movements that carried you across the stage.

The world outside the theatre faded, and all that existed was the music, the stage, and the rhythm of your own heartbeat. Each movement felt like slipping into an old memory, one you didn’t even realize you’d missed.

You were mid-leap when you caught the faintest creak of floorboards behind you.

The sound shattered your focus, and you landed with a jarring thud, spinning around instinctively.

Logan stood at the edge of the stage, one hand shoved into his jacket pocket. He leaned against the proscenium arch, watching you with an unreadable expression, though something about it wasn’t entirely unkind.

You froze, your breath catching in your throat. The soft strains of Swan Lake still played behind you, the violins aching as the tension in the air stretched.

“How long have you been standing there?” you asked finally, your voice sharper than you intended.

“Long enough,” he said, his gravelly voice cutting through the silence like a knife.

Your eyes narrowed. “And you didn’t think to announce yourself?”

He shrugged, the corner of his mouth quirking upward. “Didn’t want to interrupt. You looked... focused.”

You swallowed hard, feeling the heat rise to your face as you turned away and bent to tug the ribbons loose from your ankles. “Well, congratulations. You interrupted anyway.”

“Didn’t mean to,” he said, stepping closer, his boots thudding softly against the stage floor. “You’re... pretty good at that, by the way.”

You paused mid-motion, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. “Pretty good? Gee, thanks for the glowing review.”

He smirked, his sharp eyes gleaming with amusement. “Alright, fine. You’re really good. Happy?”

You snorted, slipping the pointe shoes off and flexing your toes. “It’s been a while.”

“Couldn’t tell,” he said simply. His gaze lingered on you even as you busied yourself with tucking the ribbons back into the shoes. “You used to do that, huh? Dance, I mean.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, turning the shoes over in your hands. “A lifetime ago.”

The silence hung between while the faint hum of the violins still played in the background.

“You should do it more,” he said finally, his tone softer than you expected.

You looked up at him, startled by the sincerity in his voice. The rough edges of Logan’s demeanor didn’t usually leave much room for softness, and it caught you off guard. But before you could respond, he was already turning away, heading toward the wings, his boots thudding softly against the stage floor.

You just sat there, the pointe shoes resting lightly in your lap. You stared after him, unsure whether to laugh, roll your eyes, or call him back just to yell at him for sneaking in. But something about the way he moved—slow, deliberate, almost hesitant—stopped you.

“Logan,” you called out, your voice carrying across the empty stage.

He paused, his broad shoulders tensing, though he didn’t turn right away. When he did, his expression was guarded, like he wasn’t sure what to expect from you.

“How long have you been here?” you asked, gesturing vaguely to the space around you. “At the school, I mean.”

His brow furrowed slightly, and for a second, he looked like he was deciding whether or not to answer. “A good while,” he said finally, his tone gruff.

It wasn’t much of an answer—not something you could work with—but you tried anyway. “Hank tells me you’re just… passing through.” You tilted your head, watching him carefully. “But you’re still here.”

Logan let out a soft huff, the corner of his mouth pulling into something that wasn’t quite a smirk but close enough. “He should mind his business,” he said, though there was no real heat in his words. He paused, stepping closer with a glint of curiosity in his sharp eyes. “You talking to Hank about me?”

You shrugged, the movement casual, but your heart was beating just a touch faster. “Me and Hank are good friends. We’ve—well, I’ve known the X-Men almost my whole life.” You hesitated, glancing down at the pointe shoes in your lap, your fingers idly tracing the frayed edges of the satin. “Been around a long time.”

Logan’s gaze lingered on you, and you could feel the weight of it, heavy and searching. “Yeah,” he said, his voice quieter now. “You give off that vibe.”

You frowned, looking back up at him. “What vibe?”

“Like you’ve seen some things,” he said, his arms crossed loosely over his chest. His tone was unreadable, but there was something in his eyes that felt older than even his rough exterior let on. “Been through it. Same as me.”

You held his gaze for a moment, unsure of what to say. He wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t the kind of thing you could explain. Not easily, anyway. Instead, you offered him a small, wry smile. “Yeah, well. Time has a way of kicking the crap out of you if you let it.”

Logan let out a low chuckle, the sound more genuine than you expected. “Ain’t that the truth.” He shifted slightly, his gaze dropping to the pointe shoes still cradled in your hands.

“You’re good at that,” he said finally, nodding toward them. “Dancing, I mean. I could tell. Not just talent—it’s in your bones.”

You blinked, taken aback. “What, you an expert on ballet now?”

He smirked, shaking his head. “Nah. But I know what it looks like when someone’s got somethin’ that keeps ‘em going. Something they can’t walk away from, even if they try.”

The words hit deeper than you wanted to admit as you stared at him, unsure how to respond. Finally, you said, “Yeah, well. It’s not exactly something you forget. Even when you want to.”

Logan tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing as he studied you. Something was flickering behind his gaze, restless and uncertain like he was trying to solve a puzzle he didn’t even know he had.

“You seem… familiar,” he said suddenly, the words rough, like they’d been dragged out of him against his will.

Your breath caught, and you stiffened, your grip tightening on the pointe shoes. “Familiar?”

He nodded, his jaw tightening. “Yeah. I dunno. I get these dreams sometimes. Flashes of… people, places. Can’t make sense of ‘em half the time, but you…” He trailed off, running a hand through his dark hair. “You feel like one of ‘em. Like I’ve seen you before.”

Your heart was pounding now, and you forced yourself to keep your expression neutral, even as his words pulled at something buried deep in your chest. “Well,” you said lightly, “maybe I just have one of those faces.”

Logan snorted, though there was no humor in it. “Yeah. Maybe.” But the way his eyes lingered on you made it clear he wasn’t convinced.

You stood abruptly, the pointe shoes dangling from your fingers as you moved to set them down on the edge of the stage. “I should probably get going,” you said, your voice a touch too bright. “Long day tomorrow. Lots of kids to wrangle.”

Logan straightened, watching you carefully. “Yeah. Sure.” He hesitated, then added, “Hey. If you ever feel like you need to talk… about all that time kickin’ the crap outta you…” His smirk returned, softer this time. “I’m around.”

You looked at him, caught off guard by the unexpected offer. Then you nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Thanks, Logan.”

He nodded back, stepping away toward the wings. “Anytime.”

As he disappeared into the shadows, you found yourself standing there, staring at the space he’d left behind, wondering if he remembered more than he realized.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

“Leaving already?” Hank asked, his deep voice soft but tinged with disappointment as he leaned against the doorframe of your room. His sharp blue eyes swept over the half-packed duffel bag on the bed.

You turned to face him, zipping up the side pocket of the bag before offering him a faint smile. “Yeah,” you said, your tone light, though the ache in your chest betrayed you. “My job’s done. These kids learned pretty quickly. They don’t need me hanging around.”

Hank stepped into the room, his large frame taking up far too much space as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You could stay…”

His words hung in the air like a challenge, and you looked down at your hands, gripping the strap of your bag. The idea tugged at you, and you couldn’t deny it. A part of you did want to stay. It had been a few months—far longer than you’d initially planned—and yet leaving felt harder than it usually did.

Hank tilted his head, studying you. “I know he would miss you,” he said gently, his voice softening. “In his own weird way.”

Your heart gave a traitorous thud, and you swallowed hard, glancing toward the window. The late afternoon sun cast long golden streaks across the walls, the light catching the faint dust motes in the air. You knew exactly who Hank meant.

“Hank,” you said, shaking your head as if to dismiss the thought. “Don’t start.”

“I’m just saying,” Hank continued, his tone a mixture of teasing and sincerity, “it’s not every day Logan actually lets someone get under his skin.”

You couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled up, though it was tinged with a bittersweet edge. “Under his skin? Pretty sure he’d describe me as an itch, not a friend.”

Hank raised an eyebrow, a knowing look on his face. “Perhaps. But even Logan doesn’t get that annoyed unless he likes someone.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the sound of heavy footsteps in the hallway made both of you glance toward the door. A moment later, Logan appeared, his usual scowl in place as he leaned against the frame, arms crossed.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked, his gravelly voice laced with sarcasm, though his eyes flicked to your bag with something far harder to read.

“Not at all,” Hank said smoothly, stepping toward the door. “In fact, I was just leaving.”

You shot Hank a glare, but he only smiled innocently before brushing past Logan and disappearing down the hallway, leaving the two of you alone.

“So,” Logan said, jerking his chin toward the bed. “Packing up, huh?”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Yeah. Time to hit the road. The kids are in a good place, and my work here is done.”

Logan snorted, pushing off the doorframe and stepping into the room. “Work? Looked more like pirouettes and tutus to me.”

You rolled your eyes, a smirk tugging at the corner of your mouth. “Don’t knock it, Logan. Ballet’s tougher than it looks. I’d like to see you last five minutes in a pair of pointe shoes.”

“Yeah, no thanks,” he said, the ghost of a grin flickering across his face. “I like my dignity right where it is.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head as you zipped up the duffel bag. “You wouldn’t know dignity if it hit you over the head.”

“Careful, darlin’,” Logan shot back, his voice teasing but low. “I might actually start to think I’m gonna miss you.”

The playful tone of the conversation faltered for a split second, the weight of his words landing heavier than either of you expected. You looked at him, your smirk fading as your eyes searched his face.

“Well,” you said lightly, trying to brush it off, “don’t get too sentimental on me, Logan. I’ll think I’ve broken you.”

Logan didn’t laugh. His expression grew more serious, his brows furrowing slightly as he stepped closer. “I’m not bein’ sentimental. I mean it.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden earnestness in his voice. “Logan—”

“I’ll miss you,” he interrupted, his gaze dropping before meeting yours again. “In case that wasn’t clear.”

Before you could respond, Logan ran a hand through his dark hair, letting out a low huff. “I don’t know what it is about you,” he admitted, his voice quieter now. “But you feel… familiar. Like I’ve known you before.”

You froze, your pulse quickening. “What do you mean?”

He hesitated, his eyes narrowing slightly as if trying to piece something together. “I’ve had these dreams,” he said slowly. “Flashes of… I dunno, a forest. Snow. And you. You’re there. You’re always there.”

Your breath caught, and you forced yourself to stay still, to keep your expression neutral even as his words sent a ripple through you. “Logan, that doesn’t mean anything,” you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady. “Dreams are just… dreams.”

He shook his head, his jaw tightening. “Maybe. But it feels real. Like I’m rememberin’ something I’m not supposed to.”

You took a shaky breath, gripping the strap of your bag like a lifeline. “Logan…”

He stepped back, giving you space but keeping his sharp eyes locked on yours. “I don’t know what it means, but…” He exhaled, the sound rough and frustrated. “I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is… if I ever figure it out, I’ll let you know.”

You managed a faint smile, though your chest felt tight. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Logan nodded once, his gaze lingering on you before he stepped back toward the door. “Take care of yourself, darlin’,” he said, his voice gruff again, though the softness in his eyes remained.

“You too, Logan,” you replied, watching as he disappeared into the hallway.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

“He isn’t here,” Hank’s familiar voice rumbled as you stepped through the heavy oak doors of Xavier’s mansion.

You froze for a moment, your breath catching in your chest before you schooled your expression into something neutral. “Who said I came back for him?” you quipped, a small smirk tugging at your lips. “Maybe I missed you, you big fluff.”

Hank appeared at the top of the grand staircase, his blue fur catching the soft light streaming through the tall windows. He grinned as he descended, his heavy footsteps echoing in the quiet foyer. “Flattery will get you everywhere,” he said, his tone warm and teasing. As he reached the bottom step, he opened his arms, and you moved forward, letting yourself sink into the familiar embrace.

He pulled back slightly, his large hands resting gently on your shoulders. “My dear, I knew you couldn’t stay away.”

You gave him a faint smile, setting your duffel bag down by your feet. “Well, you were right. This place has a way of sticking with you.”

Your gaze wandered, taking in the grand entryway—the polished wood floors, the scent of old books, and faint traces of Storm’s jasmine perfume lingering in the air. It felt the same as it always had, and yet different, as if the mansion itself had shifted in your absence. It had been three months since you’d left, determined to put some distance between yourself and the memories this place stirred up. But the farther you went, the more you felt the pull to come back.

Something about being here this time had gotten under your skin, burrowed into the part of you that you usually kept locked away.

Hank seemed to sense your hesitation. His perceptive blue eyes studied you carefully, the teasing edge to his voice softening. “What brought you back this time? Missing the kids already? Or…” He trailed off meaningfully, giving you a knowing look.

You rolled your eyes, stepping away to avoid his gaze. “Don’t start with me, Hank.”

“Start with what?” he asked innocently, though the twitch of his lips betrayed him.

You bent to pick up your bag, slinging it over your shoulder as you moved toward the staircase. “I just felt like it was time to come back, okay? No ulterior motives.”

Hank followed you, his footsteps were heavy but deliberate. “Hmm,” he murmured, and you could feel his gaze boring into the back of your head. “I see.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, glancing at him over your shoulder.

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he gestured for you to follow him toward the sitting room. You hesitated, but the look on his face made it clear he wasn’t going to let this drop, so you sighed and followed him in.

As you stepped into the room, the crackling of a low fire greeted you, the warmth immediately chasing away the chill that had settled in your bones during your journey back. Hank moved to pour himself a cup of tea from the silver pot on the table and offered you one with a tilt of his head. You shook your head, folding your arms across your chest instead.

When Hank finally spoke, his voice was careful but direct. “Logan left shortly after you did.”

You froze, the words hitting you like a punch to the stomach. You forced yourself to stay still, to keep your expression calm. “Oh?”

Hank’s sharp eyes flicked to you over the rim of his cup. “He went to Alkali Lake.”

Your breath caught for a fraction of a second before you forced yourself to shrug casually. “Is that so? I guess he's still looking for answers.”

Hank hummed, setting the teacup down with a quiet clink. “Indeed. He seemed… restless. More so than usual. Charles sent him there.”

You shifted your weight, pretending to be absorbed in the crackling fire, but you could feel Hank watching you, his gaze pressing against the cracks in your carefully constructed mask. “Well, you know Logan. He’s not exactly one for sitting still,” you said lightly.

Hank didn’t respond immediately, but when he did, his voice was softer, more concerned. “You knew he’d leave, didn’t you?”

You frowned, turning your gaze to him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Hank leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he regarded you with that gentle yet unyielding intensity that only he could pull off. “You care about him,” he said simply. “And don’t try to deny it. I’ve known you too long.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but the words died in your throat. Instead, you looked away, your fingers tightening into fists at your sides. “It doesn’t matter,” you said finally, your voice quieter now. “He doesn’t even remember me.”

“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it,” Hank said gently.

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. You cleared your throat, straightening your shoulders. “I think I’ll talk to Charles,” you said abruptly, moving toward the door.

“Of course,” Hank said, his voice soft and understanding. “But if you need to talk…”

You glanced back at him, offering a small, strained smile. “Thanks, Hank.”

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

You found Charles in his study, the quiet hum of his voice reaching you before you even entered the room. He was finishing up a conversation with Storm, who nodded at you in greeting as she passed by on her way out.

“Ah,” Charles said, his warm smile appearing as he gestured for you to come in. “It’s good to see you back.”

You hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, closing the door behind you. “Why did you send him there?”

Charles raised an eyebrow, though his expression remained calm. “Logan?”

“Yes,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Hank said you sent him to Alkali Lake. Why?”

Charles sighed, folding his hands in his lap as his gaze turned contemplative. “Because he was searching for answers. And I thought he deserved a chance to find them.”

“At that place?” you said, your voice sharper than you intended.

Charles’s gaze softened, his eyes piercing yet kind. “You know as well as I do that Logan’s past is complicated. He came to me, searching for guidance. I simply pointed him toward where I believed he might find what he was looking for.”

You turned away, pacing to the window as you tried to steady your thoughts. Memories of Alkali Lake clawed at the edges of your mind, and the idea of Logan going back there made your chest tighten.

“He’s going to get himself killed,” you muttered.

Charles was silent for a long moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was gentle. “He’s stronger than you think. And, perhaps, finding the truth is the only way for him to heal.”

You clenched your jaw, your hands balling into fists at your sides. “He doesn’t even know what he’s looking for,” you said quietly. “He doesn’t remember.”

Charles tilted his head, studying you carefully. “And yet, it seems to me that you do.”

You turned to face him, your arms folded tightly across your chest like a shield, but you couldn’t keep the vulnerability from your eyes as they met his. He was right, of course—he was always right. You did remember. You remembered everything.

And that was the problem.

“Sometimes,” you said softly, your voice trembling just enough to betray you, “things happen for a reason. Sometimes it’s better not to remember.”

Charles’s expression softened, his piercing gaze never wavering. He leaned back slightly in his chair, his hands folding neatly in his lap as he studied you. “Perhaps you feel that way,” he said gently, “but Logan doesn’t. He wants to remember—he longs to, even if he doesn’t realize how painful the truth could be.”

You swallowed hard, your fingers tightening against your arms. The lump rising in your throat made it difficult to speak. “You shouldn’t have sent him there,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. “You could’ve just told him. You could’ve looked into his mind and shown him.”

Charles sighed, his expression tinged with a sadness that only came from decades of making impossible decisions. “I could have,” he admitted, his voice as calm and steady as ever. “But sometimes it’s best to let one discover the truth on their own. To take the journey themselves, rather than having it handed to them.”

You shook your head, pacing a few steps toward the window before stopping, your hands bracing against the ledge as you stared out at the sprawling gardens. The sky was painted with the fiery hues of sunset, the warm colors stark against the shadows creeping across the grounds.

“You don’t know what he’s walking into,” you said, your voice quieter now but no less strained. “Alkali Lake isn’t just some mystery to solve—it’s a wound that doesn’t close. Whatever he finds there… it’ll destroy him.”

Charles’s chair creaked faintly as he shifted, his voice still calm but tinged with something deeper, something more insistent. “Logan is stronger than you think. He has endured more than most men could even imagine. And while you may see Alkali Lake as a wound, for him, it may be the key to healing.”

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “Healing? Is that what you call it? Ripping open the past just to bleed all over again?” You turned to face him, your voice rising slightly. “You think that’s going to help him?”

Charles remained unshaken, his steady gaze meeting yours. “I think,” he said carefully, “that Logan deserves the chance to decide for himself. To understand who he was, and who he could become.”

You looked away, your jaw clenching as the weight of his words settled over you. “He doesn’t need to remember everything,” you murmured, more to yourself than to Charles. “Some things… some things are better left buried.”

Charles regarded you silently for a long moment, the silence between you heavy with unspoken truths. Finally, he spoke, his tone gentle but resolute. “You could help him.”

The words made your heart jolt, and your eyes snapped back to his, wide with surprise. “What?”

“You could help him,” Charles repeated, his gaze unyielding. “You know him. You understand his pain in ways others cannot. Perhaps you are exactly what he needs.”

You opened your mouth to argue, to protest, but the words caught in your throat. Instead, you let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head as you stepped back toward the door. “No,” you said firmly, though your voice cracked slightly. “That’s not my place. He doesn’t even remember me.”

“Perhaps not,” Charles said, tilting his head slightly. “But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the connection. And it doesn’t mean you don’t care.”

You froze in the doorway, your hand gripping the frame as you glanced back at him. “This isn’t about me caring,” you said quietly, though even you could hear the lie in your voice. “This is about you sending him to a place that’s going to tear him apart, and expecting someone else to pick up the pieces.”

Charles’s gaze softened, his voice almost a whisper. “I’m not expecting anything, my dear. I’m simply reminding you that you have a choice. Just as he does.”

You stared at him, your chest tightening as the weight of his words pressed against the walls you’d so carefully built around yourself. Without another word, you turned and walked out, the faint echo of your footsteps fading down the hall.

Later that night, you found yourself sitting by the window in your room, the pointe shoes you’d brought with you resting in your lap. The moonlight spilled across the polished floor, painting the room in silvery shadows.

You hadn’t danced since the day Logan had interrupted you in the theatre, but now, your legs ached with the restless energy that only movement could soothe. Setting the shoes aside, you rose to your feet and began to move, the quiet hum of your memories guiding your steps.

But no matter how hard you tried to lose yourself in the rhythm, his words echoed in your mind.

“I’ve had these dreams. Flashes of… I don’t know, a forest. Snow. And you. You’re there. You’re always there.”

You faltered mid-spin, your movements slowing until you stood completely still, your chest heaving with shallow breaths. The memories he didn’t fully understand were ones you couldn’t forget. The snow, the forest, the way his eyes—wilder, more broken than—had locked onto yours as if you were the only thing tethering him to the world.

You sat back down on the edge of the bed, resting your head in your hands. You had told yourself that coming back to the mansion was about the kids, about the familiar comforts of a place you’d once called home. But deep down, you knew it was about him.

And now he was gone.

You didn’t know whether to feel relieved or heartbroken, but one thing was certain—if Logan ever truly remembered everything, you weren’t sure either of you would survive it.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

You descended the staircase beside Hank, nodding absentmindedly as he launched into an animated explanation of his latest research—something about neural pathways and genetic mutations. It was fascinating, you were sure, but your thoughts had drifted. A week had passed since you returned to the mansion, and yet it still felt strange to slip so easily back into the rhythm of this place, like stepping into an old pair of shoes you’d forgotten you owned.

“Logan! You’re back!”

Rogue’s excited voice cut through the air, and you froze mid-step, your hand tightening on the polished wood of the banister. Your eyes darted to the entrance below, where Logan stood just inside the door, a worn duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He looked as gruff as ever, his jacket unzipped and his hair slightly mussed, but there was a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as Rogue darted across the hall to embrace him.

You lingered on the stairs, watching the exchange with a small smile. Rogue stepped back, saying something too low for you to hear, and Logan responded with a grunt that made her laugh. The sight of it tugged at something in your chest—something you weren’t ready to name.

“Wonder why he’s back,” Hank said beside you, his voice low and tinged with curiosity.

You didn’t miss the knowing look he gave you, and you sighed, swatting his arm lightly. “Don’t start,” you said, your voice teasing but edged with a hint of nervousness.

Still, your heart raced, betraying the calm exterior you were trying so hard to maintain. The thought crossed your mind—fleeting and impossible—that maybe Logan had come back because you were here. But no. That wasn’t how things worked. You had left before him, made it clear you didn’t intend to stay, and Logan… well, Logan wasn’t the sentimental type.

As you descended the last few steps, Hank still at your side, Logan’s gaze lifted. His smirk faded as his sharp eyes found yours, and for a second, something flickered across his face. Surprise? Relief? It was gone before you could name it, replaced by his usual guarded expression.

“You… made it back,” you said, your voice softer than you intended as you offered him a faint smile.

Logan’s brow twitched, and he set his duffel bag down by his feet. “Looks like we both did,” he said gruffly, his voice carrying that familiar gravelly tone that always sounded like he’d just woken up.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” you admitted, stepping off the last stair. “But, you know… this place has a way of dragging you back.”

“Yeah,” Logan said, his lips twitching as though he might smile. “Does that.”

There was a beat of silence, not quite awkward but heavy enough to feel like the air between you had changed somehow. Hank, ever the socially astute one, cleared his throat and patted you lightly on the shoulder. “Well, I’ll leave you two to… catch up. I have some experiments to check on.”

You shot him a warning look, but he just grinned and disappeared down the hall dragging Rogue along with him. Leaving you alone with Logan.

“So,” you said after a moment, folding your arms casually. “Alkali Lake. Find what you were looking for?”

Logan let out a low huff, shaking his head as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Nah. Nothin’ there but snow and bad memories.”

You nodded, though your chest tightened at his words. You’d told yourself you wouldn’t let this get to you, wouldn’t let your emotions bubble to the surface. But it was hard. You knew what Alkali Lake meant, not just to him but to you as well.

“Well,” you said lightly, forcing a smirk. “Guess you can cross that one off the list.”

“Yeah,” he said, watching you carefully. “Guess so.”

There was a pause, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he were working up to something. You shifted under his gaze, feeling the weight of it settle on your shoulders.

“What?” you asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Had another dream,” he said suddenly, his tone casual, but there was an edge to it, something unspoken lingering beneath his words.

You froze, your smirk faltering. “Oh yeah?”

Logan nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. “You were in it again.”

Your heart thudded in your chest, but you forced yourself to play it cool. “You sure it wasn’t Rogue this time? Or Storm? Maybe I’m just a stand-in for all the women in your life.”

He huffed out a short laugh, shaking his head. “Nah. It was you.” He stepped a little closer, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly, studying your face as if he were trying to piece together a puzzle. “This time you were… dancin’.”

The breath hitched in your throat, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks. You broke eye contact, looking down at the scuffed floorboards. “Sounds like a weird dream,” you said, your voice quiet.

“Yeah,” he said, his tone softer now. “Weird thing is, it felt… familiar.”

You looked back up at him sharply, your stomach twisting. “Familiar how?”

Logan shrugged, the movement almost too casual, but his brow furrowed as though he were trying to make sense of something. “Don’t know. I just… felt like I’d seen it before. You, up on some stage or somethin’, spinnin’ around. There was music. Somethin’ old… Swan Lake, maybe?”

Your throat tightened. The memory flashed in your mind—the theatre, the faint strains of Swan Lake, the way you’d let yourself get lost in the dance only to find Logan watching you from the shadows.

“Well,” you said finally, forcing a smirk. “Maybe you’re just jealous of my skills.”

Logan snorted, his lips twitching upward. “Yeah, sure. That’s it.”

He held your gaze for a second longer, and you thought you saw the faintest flicker of something in his eyes—something uncertain, almost vulnerable. But then he stepped back, picking up his duffel bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

“Good to see you back,” he said gruffly, his voice dropping just enough that you almost missed it. “Place is better with you here.”

Before you could respond, he turned and started walking down the hall, leaving you standing there, your chest tight and your thoughts swirling.

Logan might not remember everything, but the pieces were there buried just beneath the surface. And whether you liked it or not, it seemed those pieces included you.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

“Charles suggested I… help him,” you said, your tone sharp as you leaned against Hank’s lab table. The polished steel was cold under your hands, grounding you as you tried to organize your thoughts. “Can you believe that? The old man won’t use his powers to look inside Logan’s mind, but he expects me to do it—in some weird, roundabout sense.”

Hank hummed thoughtfully, his attention divided as he adjusted the burner beneath a bubbling beaker. “Charles has his methods,” he said evenly. “Though I suspect he thinks you’d be a better help because you… knew Logan. From before.”

Your stomach tightened, and you crossed your arms over your chest, your gaze dropping to the tiled floor. “Hank, I’ve known almost everyone. I’ve been alive longer than any of you. It doesn’t mean I have all the answers.” You hesitated, then added in a softer voice, “And you can’t expect me to just… spill my guts to him. What if it triggers something in him? The feral side?”

That made Hank pause. He looked up from his work, concern creasing his blue-furred face. “I’ve heard about that side of him,” he said cautiously, “but I’ve never seen it in person.” His voice lowered. “Have you?”

The question made your chest tighten even more, your heart thudding against your ribs. You turned away, your eyes settling on a shelf of meticulously labeled vials, pretending to study them.

“We’ve seen it, haven’t we?” Hank pressed, his tone gentler now.

Finally, you nodded, the memory bubbling to the surface unbidden. “Yeah,” you said quietly. “I’ve seen it.”

Hank tilted his head, his expression shifting from curiosity to quiet concern. “My dear,” he said carefully, “you’ve always made it seem as though you knew Logan in passing… like acquaintances from a battlefield. But…” His voice trailed off, and he straightened, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly as realization dawned. “You’re not telling me something, are you?”

You exhaled sharply, shaking your head as if to dismiss the thought. “Hank, it doesn’t matter. It happened a long time ago. Just let it go.”

“What happened a long time ago?”

You gritted your teeth, frustration flaring in your chest. “It’s complicated,” you said, your voice low.

“I’ve got time,” Hank replied simply, leaning against the counter and folding his massive arms across his chest.

You threw him a look, but the patience in his gaze—the quiet, unyielding kind that Hank was so good at—made you falter. You pushed off the table and started to pace, running a hand through your hair as you tried to organize your thoughts.

“I met Logan decades ago,” you began, your voice tight. “During a war. A different one from the ones the X-Men are used to. He wasn’t like he is now. He was wilder, more dangerous. Barely in control of himself. A weapon, not a man.”

Hank’s brows furrowed. “Weapon X?”

You shook your head. “No. This was before that. This was… something else. Something darker.”

You stopped pacing, your arms falling to your sides as the memory gripped you. “I was passing through this remote town in the Canadian Rockies. Just trying to stay out of the way, you know? That’s what I did back then. I didn’t get involved. Didn’t put down roots. And then…” You swallowed hard, your voice dropping. “Then I heard the screams.”

Hank’s ears twitched, his expression unreadable as he watched you.

“There were bodies,” you continued, your voice distant now. “Shredded. Blood everywhere. And in the middle of it was him. Logan. He wasn’t himself—not the man you know now. He was… feral. An animal. He couldn’t even speak. Just growled and snarled like a beast.”

Hank adjusted his glasses, his expression turning grim. “And you fought him?”

You let out a dry laugh, though there was no humor in it. “I tried. I had to. He was killing anything that moved. I thought I could stop him, but… I underestimated him. He tore through me like paper.”

Hank’s eyes widened. “But your healing—”

“Exactly,” you cut in, nodding. “He saw me heal. Saw me get back up when I should’ve stayed down. I think it… confused him. Maybe even snapped him out of it a little. He stopped attacking me, but he didn’t calm down completely. He just… stared at me. Like he didn’t know whether to rip me apart or run.”

“And what did you do?”

You hesitated, your gaze drifting to the window. The late afternoon light spilled into the lab, casting long shadows across the floor. “I didn’t run,” you said softly. “I stayed. I talked to him. Calmed him down somehow. It was like he recognized something in me, though I didn’t know what it was at the time. I stayed with him for weeks after that. Helped him regain some sense of himself. Taught him how to fight his instincts. We… we bonded.”

The last words came out quieter than you intended, and you felt Hank’s gaze sharpen.

“You didn’t just know him,” Hank said slowly, as though the pieces were finally coming together. “You cared about him.”

You looked away, your jaw tightening. “I left when he got better. Disappeared. I thought it was for the best. And now he doesn’t even remember me. So, yeah, Charles wants me to help him, but I don’t know if I can. And even if I could… I don’t know if I should.”

The room was quiet for a long moment, the bubbling of the beaker the only sound. Finally, Hank sighed, his voice softer now. “Perhaps you underestimate how much of you he might still remember, even if it’s not clear to him yet.”

You shook your head, the weight of your thoughts pressing down like an old, familiar burden. “He doesn’t remember. At least, not the whole picture. And honestly? It’s better that way.” Your voice softened, but a bitter edge crept into it. “He shouldn’t have to remember all the pain he caused. All the blood.”

Hank froze for a moment, his hands stilling over the set of vials he was arranging. The soft hum of the equipment filled the silence as he carefully chose his words. “I understand—”

“No, you don’t.” You cut him off, the sharpness in your tone surprising even yourself. You turned toward him, your arms crossed tightly over your chest. “Hank, if you had lived as long as we have… seen the things we’ve seen, done the things we’ve done… You’d want to forget too. You’d want it wiped clean, all of it. Trust me.”

Hank straightened, his broad shoulders rising slightly as he considered your words. “You’re speaking for Logan,” he said slowly, his voice calm but firm. “You’re deciding for him.”

Your eyes flicked away, focusing on the far corner of the lab. It was easier than meeting his gaze.

“It’s not like Logan was given a choice back then,” Hank continued, his tone softening but losing none of its weight. “And now he has one. A chance to choose for himself who he wants to be—what he wants to know. You’re taking that away from him by deciding for him.”

The words hit harder than you wanted to admit, threading a knot of tension through your chest. You opened your mouth to argue, to say something to push back against Hank’s steady reasoning, but no words came.

Instead, you closed your eyes, exhaling slowly through your nose. “I’m not taking anything away from him,” you said finally, your voice tight. “I’m just trying to protect him.”

“Protect him?” Hank asked, his eyebrows rising slightly. “From what? From himself?”

“From the truth!” you snapped, your voice rising before you could stop it. The words hung in the air between you, raw and unfiltered, and you took a step back, shaking your head as if to banish the emotions bubbling to the surface.

Hank studied you carefully, his blue eyes searching yours. “You don’t believe he deserves the truth, do you?”

Your laugh came out bitter, almost hollow. “Deserve? What does that even mean? Deserve doesn’t matter when it comes to this. What Logan’s been through, what he’s done—he deserves peace. And that’s not something he’s going to find at the bottom of a memory.”

Hank tilted his head, his expression a mix of empathy and challenge. “You think peace is ignorance?”

“I think…” you said slowly, your voice faltering. “I think there are some things you can’t come back from. Some things you shouldn’t have to come back from.”

“And yet he keeps fighting,” Hank said, his voice quieter now. “Every day, Logan fights to be better. To be more than what he’s been through, more than what was done to him. But you… you’re standing in his way.”

His words struck like a blow, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe.

“I’m not standing in his way,” you said finally, but the words felt hollow.

“Are you sure about that?” Hank asked, his tone gentle but unwavering.

You turned away, gripping the edge of the lab table so tightly your knuckles turned white. “He doesn’t need to remember me,” you said after a long pause, your voice barely above a whisper. “Or what happened back then. He doesn’t need to carry that weight.”

Hank hesitated before stepping closer, his voice soft but unrelenting. “Maybe. But are you sure this is about what he needs? Or is it about what you don’t want to face?”

The question hung in the air like a loaded gun, and you couldn’t bring yourself to answer it.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹🦢⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

Later that night, you found yourself sitting alone on the stage, the empty theatre shrouded in silence. Your legs stretched out in front of you, the ribbons of your pointe shoes loose around your ankles. Though the music had long since stopped, the soft strings of a violin still lingered in your mind, weaving through the restless thoughts you couldn’t escape.

Dancing used to help, used to be your escape when the weight of everything threatened to crush you. It felt like it only made things worse. The memories, the what-ifs, the fears you’d buried so deeply—all of it rose to the surface when you moved. Hank had been right, and you hated it.

It wasn’t just about Logan. It was about you. About the things you didn’t want to revisit, the things you’d worked so hard to leave behind. The terrifying truth was, if Logan ever pieced it all together—if he ever remembered everything—you weren’t sure either of you could handle it.

The quiet creak of the double doors opening snapped you out of your thoughts. You froze, your hands resting on your ankles as Logan stepped into the theatre, the dim light catching the sharp angles of his face. He looked more relaxed than he had when you first saw him after returning from Alkali Lake, like some of the tension he always carried had finally eased. Maybe his trip had given him some kind of closure. Maybe it had only left him with more questions.

You didn’t know which possibility scared you more.

You dropped your gaze to your pointe shoes, fingers fumbling with the ribbons as if untying them could somehow distract you from the way Logan’s gaze lingered on you.

He snorted, the sound soft but amused as he moved farther into the room. “Didn’t feel like dancin’ tonight?” he asked, his gravelly voice carrying a faint teasing edge.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the faint smile that tugged at your lips. “What do you want, Logan?”

He shrugged, stepping farther down the aisle until he was close enough for you to feel the weight of his presence. His expression shifted, the smirk fading as his sharp eyes narrowed. “Figured I’d check in. You’ve been avoidin’ me since I got back.”

“I’ve been busy,” you said quickly, tugging your pointe shoes off and setting them beside you. The excuse sounded thin even to your ears.

“Yeah,” Logan said, his voice flat as he folded his arms over his chest. “Sure you have.”

You sighed, pulling your legs up onto the stage and crossing them in front of you as if the position could shield you from the intensity of his gaze. “What do you want, Logan?”

His gaze dropped to the floor before lifting again to meet yours. “I think we both know the answer to that,” he said quietly, stepping closer to the edge of the stage. “You’re keepin’ stuff from me.”

Your breath caught, and you forced yourself to laugh softly, shaking your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, you do,” Logan said, his voice low and firm. He stepped up onto the stage, closing the distance between you. “You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about.”

You looked away, focusing on the empty rows of seats stretching out into the shadows of the theatre. “Logan, I—”

“Cut the crap,” he interrupted, his tone sharper now. “Every time I get close to somethin’, you shut me out. Every time I try to figure out what the hell’s goin’ on in my head, you’re there, lookin’ at me like you already know the answers.” He paused, his voice softening just enough to make your chest ache. “You do, don’t you?”

Your hands tightened in your lap, your nails digging into your palms as you tried to steady your breathing. “It’s not that simple,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper.

Logan snorted, his frustration simmering just beneath the surface. “Nothin’s ever simple with you, is it?”

“Logan, please,” you said, finally meeting his gaze. “Let it go.”

He shook his head, stepping even closer until he was standing right in front of you. “No. Not this time.” His voice was quiet but resolute, the kind of tone that left no room for argument. “I went to Alkali Lake and found nothin’ but ghosts. I keep havin’ these dreams, these flashes, and half the time, you’re in ‘em. You tell me to let it go? How the hell am I supposed to do that when I know there’s more? When I know you’re holdin’ somethin’ back?”

You stared at him, your chest tightening under the weight of his words. “You don’t want to remember,” you said softly, your voice trembling. “Not all of it. Trust me, Logan. You don’t.”

His jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. “That’s not your call to make.”

“Isn’t it?” you shot back, your voice rising as the emotions you’d been suppressing finally broke free. “Do you have any idea what’s buried in your head? What remembering could do to you?”

Logan’s eyes narrowed, his voice dropping to a dangerous quiet. “What’s buried in yours?”

The question hit like a punch to the gut, and all you could do was stare at him. Finally, you looked away, your gaze dropping to the floor. “It’s not about me,” you said weakly.

“Bullshit,” Logan said, stepping closer until he was towering over you. “This is about you just as much as it’s about me. You’re scared, aren’t you? Scared of what I’ll remember. Of what it’ll mean for you.”

Your throat tightened, and you swallowed hard, fighting back the sting of tears. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Logan crouched in front of you, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes were sharp, but there was something softer, almost pleading. “Then tell me. Tell me what I don’t know.”

You shook your head, tears threatening to spill over as you whispered, “I can’t.”

“Why?” Logan’s voice cracked, and for the first time, you saw the vulnerability beneath his gruff exterior. “Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because it’ll break you,” you said, your voice trembling. “And I can’t be the one to do that to you, Logan. I won’t.”

The two of you just stared at each other, the silence between you heavy with unspoken truths. Finally, Logan stood, running a hand through his hair as he stepped back.

“I’m not gonna stop,” he said, his voice low but steady. “I’m not gonna stop until I figure it out. Until I figure us out.”

You looked up at him, your heart aching at the determination in his eyes. “Logan—”

He shook his head, cutting you off, his tone low but firm. “No more runnin’, darlin’. Not from me. Not from this.”

Your breath hitched, and you looked away, blinking hard to fight the tears threatening to spill. “You—you can’t just expect me to tell you everything,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“Why not?” Logan said, his gaze piercing as he stepped closer. “Is it a long story? I’ve got the time—we both do.” His voice softened slightly at the end, but the determination in his tone didn’t waver.

You let out a shaky laugh, wiping at your face with the back of your hand. “It’s not that simple.”

“All I hear are excuses,” Logan snapped, his frustration bleeding into his voice. “Excuses from Chuck about my mind bein’ too fragile. Excuses about how I’ve gotta ‘find the answers myself.’” He gestured toward you, his movements sharp. “And now excuses from you about dreams bein’ just dreams. Do you think I can’t handle it? You think I don’t deserve to know what the hell’s been bouncin’ around in my head all this time?”

“It’s not about what you deserve, Logan!” you shot back, your voice cracking as you stood suddenly, your body tense with emotion. “It’s about what you can survive. You don’t know the weight of it—the guilt, the anger, the regret. You think finding all the pieces is going to fix you, but it’s not. It’s just going to break you more.”

Logan stared at you, his jaw tight, his fists clenched at his sides. But something in his eyes—something raw and pleading—made you falter. His voice softened, the edge fading. “Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. But it’s not your call to make. It’s mine.”

The truth of his words cut through your defenses like claws, and you sank back onto the stage, your hands gripping your knees as you tried to steady your breathing. The silence between you stretched, heavy and charged.

Finally, you broke it, your voice quiet but resolute. “Fine.”

Logan’s head tilted slightly, his sharp gaze narrowing as he tried to gauge your meaning.

“I’ll tell you,” you said, swallowing hard as you looked up at him. “But I can’t promise it’s going to be pretty. And I can’t promise it’s not going to hurt.”

Logan’s posture relaxed ever so slightly, and he exhaled, his shoulders dropping as he moved toward you. He sat down beside you on the stage, the movement slow and deliberate. His elbow brushed against yours, and the quiet warmth of his presence steadied the storm inside you, if only for a moment.

“I ain’t lookin’ for pretty,” he said quietly, his tone gentle now. “And I’m not afraid of hurtin’. Just… tell me the truth. That’s all I want.”

You stared at the floor for a long moment, your hands twisting in your lap as memories you’d buried for years rose to the surface, raw and unrelenting. Finally, you took a deep breath, your voice shaking as you began. “We crossed paths again a long time ago.”

Logan frowned slightly, his brows furrowing. “Again?”

You nodded, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. “It was…after everything happened when I first found you.” You hesitated, your voice dropping. “I thought I’d never see you again. Honestly, I hoped I wouldn’t. Not because I didn’t care, but because… because you deserved a fresh start. You needed one.”

Logan didn’t respond, but his silence was expectant, urging you to continue.

“I was in New York,” you said softly, a faint, bittersweet smile tugging at your lips. “Dancing. There was this small theatre, nothing fancy, but it was mine. I was performing that night—Swan Lake, actually. I remember being backstage, nerves eating at me like they always did before a show. And then the curtain rose, and I…” You paused, shaking your head at the memory. “I saw you. In the audience.”

Logan’s brow furrowed, confusion flickering across his face. “Me?”

You nodded, your smile fading. “You were sitting in the second row, staring at me like you’d seen a ghost. I almost stumbled through my first few steps because I couldn’t believe it was you. You looked… different. Cleaner. Put together. But the way you watched me—it was like you remembered something. Something buried.”

Logan’s jaw tightened, and his gaze dropped to the floor as if searching for the memory.

“When the performance ended,” you continued, “I went backstage, thinking you’d leave. That maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me. But when I came out, you were still there. Waiting. I didn’t know what to say, but then you said it first.”

Logan glanced at you, his voice quiet. “What’d I say?”

You hesitated, the memory sharp in your mind. “You said, ‘It’s you. You’re the one who helped me.’”

His expression shifted, his eyes narrowing slightly as though trying to piece together fragments of a puzzle. “I remembered you?”

“Some of it,” you said softly. “Not everything, but enough. Enough to know we’d met before. Enough to know I’d helped you when you weren’t… yourself.” You exhaled shakily, your hands trembling in your lap. “We went out afterward. Got drinks at some dingy little bar down the street. You asked me why I helped you back then, and I didn’t know how to answer. So I told you the truth.”

Logan looked at you, his voice rough. “What truth?”

You met his gaze, your eyes glassy. “That I didn’t want to. That I’d seen what you were capable of, and it terrified me. But there was something about you, Logan. Something human buried under all that rage. And I thought… I thought if I could just reach you, maybe you wouldn’t be lost forever.”

The room fell silent, the weight of your confession settling between you like a fragile thread. Logan’s gaze didn’t leave yours, his expression unreadable but his eyes impossibly soft.

“You were right,” he said finally, his voice low but steady.

You blinked, your breath catching. “What?”

“You reached me,” he said, leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees. “I don’t remember all of it, but I know one thing: you didn’t let me go. You could’ve, but you didn’t. And that…” He shook his head, his lips twitching into the faintest of smiles. “That’s somethin’ I won’t forget, even if the details are gone.”

Tears welled in your eyes, and you looked away, wiping at them quickly. “I don’t know if I helped you, Logan. Not really.”

“You did,” he said firmly, his voice leaving no room for doubt. “You still do.”

The words hung in the air but they carried a weight that settled deep in your chest. Logan reached over, his rough hand covering yours briefly before pulling back. The touch was fleeting but enough to let you know he meant it.

[irithnova]

Can't believe I'm discourse posting again but whatever.

While I may not have 100% been on board with the uh. Rusame edging response post because I have extremely "problematic" ships myself and have described Mongolia and China's relationship as being "married/divorced" so I'm not really any better than the edging shit in that sense, I think a lot of the replies were made in extremely bad faith and some pretty nasty people took advantage of the situation in their own ways.

The person who was vagued about had the right to respond of course and yeah it can be classified as ship hate considering it was put in the tags however people are seriously running over the fact that the poster themselves are Uzbek-Korean so yeah they'd understandably have some complex feelings about Russia and America if you know even the general history. The post perhaps wasn't worded that well and was an attack on rusame simply because of a comedic analogy of the relationship made by a shipper, but that anger didn't just come from like. Absolutely nowhere.

You had people in the comments slinging fucking 4chan lingo at OP (same person who did this supports a well known Zionist in the fandom why am I not surprised) and then much bigger content creators making posts and comments about how OP and their entire friendgroup are nothing more than butthurt sjws who are pushing people out of the fandom (and I can't believe people are still unironically using "sjw" in 2024 I guess anything is possible).

Extremely bad faith actors coming out of the woodworks who have had problems with OP and their friendgroup for completely different reasons using OPs hate post about rusame and the subsequent dogpiling as an excuse to publicly lie about the nature of the friendship and how it broke down. I find it extremely cowardly that months ago, when confronted privately about bad behaviour such as gossiping behind people's backs and confronted with the fact the person she was gossipping with is a prolific emotional abuser and racist, Verta blocked everyone and said she didn't want to get involved in "drama".

Now that someone within the group - a minor no less, who barely engaged with Verta herself during the course of her contact with them group, is being publicly dogpiled by multiple big creators - NOW Verta has the courage to come rear her head, engage in drama be like "they're all a bunch of sjws who hate white people!".

If you want to go back to 2016 for fresh "SJWS/feminists OWNED!" compilations, be my guest.

I find it extremely ironic how Verta is calling OP "fandom police" when Verta herself tried to gatekeep someone's identity/relationship to China....over hetalia art. I guess it's not policing when you want to be a bigot, but it's policing when someone from a certain background has unpleasant feelings towards a ship.

A lot of the vague posting about "WOW I LOVE RUSAME SO MUCH" afterwards I think was also extremely childish considering *gestures to the fact that OP is Uzbek-Korean* so yeah. They made an angry post about rusame that should have been handled privately between them and the person they were vaguing about however they do have some extremely personal reasons as to why they may have strong feelings about it.

It wasn't just an ordinary "rusame sucks and rusame shippers should die lol!" post made by an angry rando who likes perhaps Russia x [different country] and is butthurt at the attention rusame is getting but the way people are responding with "rusame is the beat ship evaa <33" posts in response to it - you'd think that was what OP posted instead of like. An emotionally charged (but poorly handled) post about Russian and American imperialism as someone who's family/countries has been affected by both.

Again I'm not in a place to judge rusame shippers considering the shit I ship and say - you can do what you want and I actually like cold war stuff myself. I just find a few of the responses extremely childish considering the circumstances surrounding why the post was made and a few were absolutely done in bad faith in order to paint OP as being nothing more than an angry sJw!!1 when. Again. *Gestures at Uzbekistan's history with Russia and Korea's history with America*

Also. I'm sorry but rusame is the most popular ship in the fandom right now. You guys will live if (1) child who comes from that background makes an emotionally charged post about it. There's no need for an onslaught of personal attacks and hateful anons. Jesus Christ I received death threats for shipping Monchu and I didn't even respond like that.

[omni-scient-pan-da]

I swear to god, if me and Michelle end up in an honest to god relationship I'm selling the fucking rights (to myself) and getting it made into a million dollar blockbuster movie (forcing my otp at the time to live through the 400k word slowburn I fear I may be trapped in)

[blue-star-doodles]

We haven’t interacted a lot but I remember seeing your au with big mama and Leo, I think one of the first ones parts I saw was with Leo ‘I just found out my mom isn’t my real mom’ thing and thinking it was so cute !

Awwe, I'm glad you like it!

[vynel]

Ngl this ep was lowkey kinda funny bc there was so much going on 😭😭

[spoonmoment119]

if we're sharing cats

these are mine Charlie and Benio (all my cats and i had 5 all had names from Thomas the tank engine don't ask why idk)

+ here are some very cute red panda pictures

i love when cats look like they have no clue who or where they are