#pan haiku review

[daveb]

fetid wind from the belch of the cavedweller’s Tupperware (First published in The Pan Haiku Review.)

[stellasstones]

In The Pan Haiku Review, issue 2

Happy to see two of my haiku appear in The Pan Haiku Review, issue 2, Winter 2023, Kigo edition, p.98. Editor: Alan Summers.just asthe snowdrops wither cherry blossom snowdrops... breaking throughthis sadness

[metalgearkong]

Ghost of Tsushima - Review (PS4)

9/21/20

Developed by Sucker Punch Productions, released July 2020

Let’s not beat around the bush: Ghost of Tsushima may be my favorite game of this console generation, and one of my favorite games of all time. This is a massive samurai tale crammed with unforgettable moments, characters, and environments. After finishing this game, I felt like I had been through no less than the peak samurai experience in any entertainment medium. Never before have I stood up and given a standing ovation for a video game upon the credits rolling. While feeling complete and filled to the brim, there are small technical aspects that do have room for improvement in the potential sequel. Sucker Punch came out of nowhere and knocked the world on its ass with a fantastic stylized epic feudal Japanese journey, one I can never forget. 

Ghost of Tushima is open-world, easily comparable to The Witcher 3 or a modern Ubisoft title. What Ghost of Tsushima brings to the table is its incredibly realized medieval Japanese world, to the same extent Red Dead Redemption brought the mythic American Wild West to life. Authenticity can be found in every corner, and I set the game for Japanese voices and English subtitles to extend the immersion (something I can’t recommend enough). The Mongols have invaded Japan, and their first stop is Tsushima island. The samurai here are all that stops the massive army from reaching the mainland. The details themselves might not be perfectly accurate to 1274 Japan, but the world itself is consistent, which is what’s most important. 

The game begins with a huge battle, as we take control of our main character Jin Sakai (Daisuke Tsuji / Kazuya Tsuji) right away. An orphan raised to be a samurai by his uncle Lord Shimura (Eric Steinberg / Akio Otsuka), Jin holds guilt and shame for not being able to save his father in battle when he was young, and strives to be the best warrior possible. The explosive intro gives us a quick intro to the open combat, and leads in to a fairly typical tutorial, adding in brief lessons on stealth, and using evasive tactics & tools. I remember how panful the combat first felt, as each strike looked like something akin to a samurai film. The main villain and leader of the Mongols Khotun Khan (Patrick Gallagher / Tsutomu Isobe) establishes himself as a despicable person, and someone totally opposite to the samurai honor-bound code of combat. He wants to conquer Tushima by any means necessary, and Jin is the only one willing to adapt his fighting style to combat this new  dishonorable and overwhelming threat.

Jin Sakai is closer to a Geralt, rather than a blank slate avatar character of a Fallout or Elder Scrolls game; He has a specific personality, background, and motivation. Part of the overarching story is Jin learning to rely on tactics he would normally frown upon in order to stand a change against the Mongol forces. This is something his uncle highly detests and forbids Jin to do, leading to a secondary conflict in the story. This is useful for also explaining in the gameplay why the player can either face enemies out in the open, or scurry around and stabbing them in the neck. Of course, most players will do a bit of both, and whatever suits the situation of how you’re feeling in the moment. The best part is, it’s not an binary dilemma, as open combat and stealth can be used completely intermixed at any time.

Personally, one of my favorite parts about the game was unlocking and finding new apparel and color schemes for my outfits. This game (eventually) allows you to dress anywhere from humble peasant, to shinobi of the night, to fully armored samurai warrior. My only nit pick is I wish the game gave you more cosmetic options to buy or find earlier in the game, as I felt limited to just a few outfits and accessories at first. There’s nothing more awesome than manually sheathing your sword after slicing up a dozen grunts, all the while your cape and robes aggressively blowing in the wind. The game allows you to manually bow and play a flute as well, adding the immersion of every moment of the game. You travel the huge island via horseback, and can summon your horse at any instance with the push of the button. I also love how quickly you pick up items, by merely pushing R2. No needless animations or time spend slowing the momentum for the sake or grit or realism.

One of the most unique aspects of the game is using the wind as your guide. If you really wanted to, you’d never have to open your map to know how to get to your current quest. Simply swipe up on the touch pad, and the wind blows in the direction you need to go (the game doesn’t even feature an in-game minimap or radar). This kicks up leaves, twigs, sand, and other particles which add greatly to the visual appeal of the game, and help make you feel closer to the environment itself. Adding to this is how foxes and birds can lead you to hidden secrets, upgrades, or new gear. With so few HUD elements, focus on paying attention to the environment, and the gorgeous lighting and scenery, Ghost of Tsushima gave me to many moments where I felt spiritually uplifted in its world. Despite not having the budget of a super high end Naughty Dog or Rockstar game, Ghost of Tsushima remains one of the most beautiful games I’ve ever played, and much of that leans on the art style and environmental effects alone.

Missions are equally entertaining whether they come from a main character or minor character you happen upon. Most quests may involve (but aren’t limited to) tracking, fighting, sneaking, climbing, riding, and spying. I especially enjoyed quests with specific limitations, such as having to remain undetected and not to kill any guards. Eventually, however, due to the game’s long length, some of the missions do start to show their repetitiveness, and I don’t think it would have been horrible if the overall run time was 10-15% shorter. I also enjoyed the fact that so much effort was put into side activities that feel serene and peaceful, akin to the Buhddist and Shinto side of being a samurai. Composing haikus and bathing in hot springs to increase your total health felt very much in the spirit of a Bushido lifestyle; always a calm in between the storms of violence. The fact that not all side content is action oriented was a very neat and authentic detail.

Samurai duels were some of my favorite parts of the game. Occasionally Jin would come across an opponent or rival with legitimate swordsmanship skills, and has to face them in an arena. These locations where the duels would take place never failed to be more epic than the next. Duels act like boss fights in the game, and incorporate similar combat to the regular open world combat--only Jin can’t use secondary items such as kunai, his bow, or smoke bombs. These moments were ripe for the photo mode, something I used throughout this game constantly, as its packed with incredible environmental design and lighting effects to make almost every moment and location feel like a living painting. Samurai duels were usually never very difficult, including the ending boss fights, but they always looked awesome and felt damned satisfying.

The game does suffer from some minor technical glitches, but these small drawbacks mean next to nothing compared to how impressively the rest of the game was designed and executed. Frequently I would approach an enemy group and want to initiate a stand off (the samurai version of a high noon cowboy duel) but the game either didn’t give me the option or the option blinked on screen for only a moment and I was unable to do it. Something similar would happen for stealth kills, as sometimes instead of doing the assassination animation when prompted, Jin just did a regular slash attack instead, blowing my cover. Situations like this didn’t happen often, but were consistent enough to notice. I give Sucker Punch a huge pass on these small technical details, as they never ruined my experience of the game, remaining small frustrations on occasion.

Ghost of Tsushima is a greatest hits of iconic feudal Japanese visuals, sounds, tropes, settings, and themes. Countless details build upon this heightened version of Japanese history, making this game an all in one interactive Kurosawa film. Everything from the sword duel boss fights, to the multiple fighting stances, to the stealth, to the nature surrounding you, everything has been executed with extreme skill and thoughtfulness. It can have its small moments showing a lack of polish either in the visuals or mechanics, but Sucker Punch more than accomplished what they set out to do. Ghost of Tsushima is the best PlayStation 4 exclusive, and by far one of my favorite games of all time. If you have any interest in the open world genre, and love the Japanese culture and art style, Ghost of Tsushima likely won’t let you down. An amazing adventure wreathed in katanas, honor, blood, wind, and cute foxes. 

9.5/10

[palilalia]

PAL-063 Chris Corsano & Bill Orcutt LP/CD

"Made Out of Sound"

New studio LP/CD recorded Summer 2020

Made Out Of Sound by Chris Corsano & Bill Orcutt

Sadly, many will hear Chris Corsano & Bill Orcutt’s latest LP, Made Out of Sound, as “not-jazz,” though it would be more aptly described as “not-not-jazz.” In a better world, it would warrant above-the-fold reviews in Downbeat, or an appearance on David Sanborn’s late-night show (if someone would only give it back to him). More likely, we can hope for a haiku review on Byron Coley’s Twitter timeline to sufficiently connect the various improvised terrains trodden by this long-time duo — but if you’ve been able to listen past the overmodulated icepick fidelity of Harry Pussy, it should surprise you not an iota that Orcutt’s style is rooted as much in the fractal melodies of Trane and Taylor as it is in Delta syrup or Tin Pan Alley glitz.

As for Corsano, well, it may seem daft to call this particular record “jazz” (because duh, it has a drummer), but to me Corsano is beyond jazz, almost beyond music, his ambidextrous, octopoid technique grappling many stylistic levers and spraying a torrent of light from every direction. Corsano's ferocity has elevated many “mere” improv records to transcendence, but here he’s crafted his polyrhythms within more narrative channels, bringing to mind his “mannered” playing in the lamented Flower- Corsano duo. It's not “groove” playing precisely, but it follows many grooves simultaneously, much like Orcutt’s own melodic musings — which is why they’re so naturally lock-in-key here.

Which maybe makes it all the more surprising that Made Out of Sound was in fact recorded in different rooms on different coasts at different times, and stitched together by Orcutt on his desktop. Corsano recorded the drums in Ithaca, NY, and (as Orcutt states), “I didn’t edit them at all. I overdubbed two guitar tracks, panned left/right. I’d listen to the drums a couple times, pick a tuning, then improvise a part, thinking of the first track as backing and the second as the ‘lead’, though those are pretty fluid terms. I was watching the waveforms as I was recording, so I could see when a crescendo was coming or when to bring it down.”

Fluidity ties the tracks together. With a little more groove and a little less around-the-beat maneuvering, one could almost hear the boiling harmonic layers as Miles-oid in “Man Carrying Thing,” but with new-found Sharrockian modalities, Corsano accentuating the tumbling nature of the falling notes. The Sharrock vein continues with “How to Cook a Wolf,” its Blind Willie-esque melodic simplicity and repetition extrapolated 360-style in a repetitive descending riff that falls into Cippolina-isms (by way of Verlaine) until the end crashes upon the shore.

Much like Orcutt’s last solo album, Odds Against Tomorrow, there’s a gentler, almost pastoral flow to some tracks (“Some Tennessee Jar,” “A Port in Air,” “Thirteen Ways of Looking”) that calls to mind the mixolydian swamplands of Lonnie Liston Smith — but unlike Odds, other tracks (“The Thing Itself”) smash that same lyricism into overdriven, multi-dimensional melodic clumps that push several vector envelopes at once in an Interstellar Space vein.

With the help of Corsano, Orcutt has managed to slither even further out of the noise/improv pigeonhole lazy listeners/writers keep trying to shove him into. Looking at the back cover of Made Out of Sound, we should not see Orcutt hurling a guitar into the air with post-punk bravado, Corsano toiling behind him in the engine room — we should witness an instrument levitating from his hands, rising on invisible major-key tendrils of melody, fired by percussion, spiraling into an invisible event horizon. — TOM CARTER

BUY CD

BUY LP (Currently sold out, repress expected in October)

Chris Corsano: Drums Bill Orcutt: Guitars Recorded Summer 2020 in SF & Ithaca Mastered by James Plotkin Photos by Hans van der Linden PAL-063 © & ℗ Palilalia Records 2020

[justincaseitmatters]

Rewind: Maleficent (2014)

Angelina Jolie appears to be having a ball throughout Maleficent. And why shouldn't she be enjoying herself?

She's playing the wicked fairy Maleficent from Disney's 1959 take on Sleeping Beauty, and she clearly loves embodying a powerful figure that flaunts the rules in a fairy tale. It also probably doesn't hurt that she's been well compensated to wear the massive horns coming out of her skullcap or the makeup that causes her cheeks to appear like thorns.

While Jolie's glee at playing one of Uncle Walt's greatest villains is contagious, hardly anyone else seems to be having much fun in this alternate take on the fairy tale. Admittedly, screenwriter Linda Woolverton (Disney's Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King) comes up with a potentially fertile take on the old Grimm Brothers story.

Woolverton asks what if Maleficent had legitimate grievances with Princess Aurora's (Elle Fanning) parents. Instead of being a decent king afflicted with a supernatural menace, King Stefan (Sharlto Copley, District 13) is a craven worm of a man who gained the throne not through inheritance or even (gasp) merit. Instead, he wears the crown because he cut off Maleficent's wings while she was sleeping and gave them to the previous monarch. Having once been a close friend of Stefan's, it's no wonder that she takes out her anger on the innocent Aurora.

While making the King the bad guy in this version of the story has its potential, Woolverton and director Robert Stromberg miss the chance to make the film a clash of titans instead of one-sided rout.

While Copley comes off as depraved and greedy, he doesn't have Jolie's sly charm or intimidating confidence. These deficiencies become problematic because it becomes difficult to understand why Maleficent ever liked Stefan or to get a sense that the King would pose much of a threat to her in a fair match up.

As a result, Maleficent feels wanting whenever the title character leaves the screen. It's simply more fun to watch a justly angry fairy take names or boss around her long-suffering servant (Sam Riley) than it is to watch Stefan sulk and yell. Elle Fanning is terrific as the teenage Aurora, but the good fairies (Imelda Staunton, Lesley Manville and Juno Temple) are annoying dolts this time around. One almost waits for Maleficent to spike them with her horns.

Stomberg has supervised special effects or served as an art director for some terrific movies like Pan's Labyrinth, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World and Avatar. Curiously, Maleficent looks cluttered, clumsy and drab. All of the images flying into viewers' eyes in 3D seem extraneous and do little to establish a sense of wonder or awe. They do, however, create a formidable headache.

With only her voice and her sense of bearing, Jolie effortlessly makes the notoriously wicked fairy seem real. Hardly anyone else involved in Maleficent seems to have that magic. (PG) Rating: 2 (Posted on 06/02/14)

Haiku Review Maleficent

Jolie's fairy is more fun than the rest of the glum bedtime story.

[raisincelery]

I posted 5,185 times in 2022

That's 5,158 more posts than 2021!

83 posts created (2%)

5,102 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@funnytwittertweets

@the-haiku-bot

@lloyd-got-a-knife

@exisntidonot

@retrogamingblog2

I tagged 327 of my posts in 2022

#my art - 40 posts

#botw - 35 posts

#legend of zelda - 34 posts

#loz - 33 posts

#zelda - 32 posts

#breath of the wild - 31 posts

#link - 30 posts

#funny - 29 posts

#kingdom hearts - 29 posts

#ocarina of time - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#he sends spurts of water out of his hands and everyone thinks he’s just using water but he’s actually making fire and ice at the same time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Just left the survived through the pandemic and didn’t get Covid gang

15 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

#4

Nico Di Angelo and Percy Jackson don’t like each other send post.

19 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

#3

Ngl I kind of like Ronan and Adam’s pre relationship dynamic (especially on Adam’s side) because Adam thought of Ronan as literally the scum of the Earth. The leftover oil on a pan. I bet that the first time Gansey called The Pig ‘The Pig’ to Adam Adam thought he was referring to Ronan.

23 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#2

So Lloyd basically has like, every power right? Well I think it would be funny as HELL if there was one he was just REALLY REALLY bad at but no one ever knew because he was always able to just work around it using his other powers.

63 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Can’t believe that in Ace Attorney the main character ate glass once and it wasn’t a metaphor.

80 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, July 31

FRED: I can't imagine what you've been through, Connor, being taken away by Holtz, raised in that place. It must have been horrible. I know you're still hurting but - I promise, it's not nearly as much as you're gonna hurt for what you did to your father. (Connor stops chewing and looks up at Fred, who pushes a tazer against his chest and fires.) FRED: You think that's what Angel felt? When you did it to him? Did he scream like you? CONNOR: Why are you doing this? GUNN: Nah-ah. Don't even try it. FRED: We got a call from an old friend tonight. GUNN: Been playing a little Ahab. He's out there right now puttering around on his boat. FRED: With Angel. GUNN: That's right, Sparky, Daddy's coming home. And I'm guessing there's going to be a spanking.

~~Deep Down~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Giles haiku (Giles, G) by sparrow2000

Everything They Do (Buffy/Spike, G) by katleept

Coming Home (Spike/Angel, Xander/Lorne, T, German) by

Electra (Buffy/Giles, T) by katemonkey

Love Affair (Buffy/Faith, T) by katemonkey

And the band's name is... (Giles/Oz, G) by katemonkey

The Collection (Giles/Oz, G) by katemonkey

La vida es muy corta para sólo sobrevivir a ella (Angel, Darla, Connor, G, Spanish) by PhantomRaven11

[Chaptered Fiction]

RIPPER - CHAPTER 4 : HEART OF COLD (Giles, Ensemble, T) by wakeupinacoma

The Lines Ch. 1-5/6 (Buffy/Spike, Buffy/Angel, T) by Irishrose

The Undead, The Dead and the Ones Who Want to Die Ch. 1 (Ensemble, T) by Captain_Forehead

Can’t Help But Fall/For You (Angel/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

Voice Of Reason (Angel/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

Prom (Angel/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

The Last I Love You (Angel/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

Safe (Spike/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

Morning After (Spike/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

Love’s Bitch (Spike/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

Resurrected (Spike/OC, T) by cuban-paradise

Mothers Ch. 14 (Buffy/Faith, M) by Forgotten Conscience

UnProphecy Girl Ch. 1, Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Micrindle23

The Shadow Men's Folly, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Micrindle23

Save the Last Dance for Me, Chapter 69 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Passion4Spike

Hindsight, Chapter 118 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Toften

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: Photomanips (Willow, Spike, Angel) by xspike4evax

Artwork: Belle South Fanfic Moodboard by badwolfdarkjedi

Artwork: The Darkling Fanfic Moodboard by badwolfdarkjedi

Artwork: Photomanip: Buffy and Giles by 51kas81

Artwork: Willow & Tara lesbian pride icons by posi-pan

Artwork: this can’t be living now Fanfic Moodboard by bisummers

Wallpapers & icons for various Giles pairings by bordo

Video: Hold Onto Me - Giles/Cordelia by eternalred wolfe

Video: Angel&Cordelia | Fall From Grace by 1SnoWhiteQueen1

[Reviews & Recaps]

BTVS 2.11 “Ted” Rewatch Thoughts by smurphamy

PODCAST: Chipperish Still Dead #12. At the Copa (Angel the Series S2. 1-2)

PUBLICATION: Confusing Middle Rewatching Buffy – Episode 76

PUBLICATION: Confusing Middle Rewatching Angel – Episode 20

PODCAST: Slayerfest '98 Ep 69: Glory, Shantay You Stay (Shadow)

PODCAST: buffythevampirestraya Nightmares

PODCAST: Buffy Virgin S4 E6 "Wild at Heart" by

[Community Announcements]

Drabble Challenge: Library at sunnydalescribe

Contest Week, Day 2 by fic-promptly

Buffy and Angel Discord Sever Repost 3 by

by

[Fandom Discussions]

Send Me a Character: Drusilla! by scienceofficer-winifredburkle

Send Me a Character: Oz by scienceofficer-winifredburkle

Send Me a Character: Charles Gunn by scienceofficer-winifredburkle

Send Me a Character: Fred by scienceofficer-winifredburkle

Would Giles be more of a dog person or a cat person? by littleotter73

watching btvs for the first time in 2018 is such a frustrating experience by nonnito

Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel - Cordelia Chase by avikaplanperfection

Favorite scenes for each of these ships: Bangel by we-pay-for-everything

Joss Whedon *Who should be gay in s4? by millennialslayer

Chaos Bleeds: Behind the scenes concept art? by Yogur

Discussion of 7.18 "Dirty Girls" by Multiple Authors

Faith was gonna kill herself? by annistark

Pitch a Buffy Spin-off/Reboot by VisionGuy

Buffy S12:The Reckoning # 2 Issue Discussion Thread (Continued) by Multiple Authors

The Banner/icon meme challenge (Continued) by HowiMetdaSlayer

Quest for Camelot posters by Astraterris

Drusilla was awesome... and occasionally hilarious. by Aridarr

7th season is amazing by aoc1986

PSA: BUFFY SEASON 10 is finally getting released in library sized hardcovers! by wookiewin

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: Digital Spy In defence of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's much-maligned season six

PUBLICATION: CBR TV Legends: Was Dawn Originally Going to Die in Buffy's Season 5 Finale?

[daveb]

never managed to apologize tothe heat (First published in The Pan Haiku Review.)

[bruhwhyth0]

WHY THO?

Jesus Christ I was really hoping I’d never have to do this again. I honestly don’t know what is worse, having to watch another shitty movie or rereading my old blog posts and realizing that they were lower in quality than the movies I was reviewing. Fortunately it doesn’t really matter because I know for a fact that my -2 followers don’t seem to mind. But here I am. Once again I must swallow my pride and sumit myself to literal torture all in the name of a grade. To my suprise choosing a crappy movie was almost as difficult as watching one. So many options. So much low hanging fruit. However movies of this nature can always be a mixed bag. I remember when I first started this blog a few years ago some reviews never left my drafts because I didn't have much to write about. Sometimes a movie is so mediocre, so bad, that it can’t even excel at being an awful pile of crap. I chose to write about bad movies because I figured it would be entertaining. You’d think some films, in their own demented way, could at least entertain. But no. Can’t even get that right. I’d find myself at 2’o’clock in the morning looking at my notes only to realize that I basically wrote nothing. All I had was a lingering sense of regret and confusion; like I’d just woken up from a drunken one night stand. All I could do is ask myself, “What the hell did I just watch?” So as I revisit this deserted island I call my blog for what most likely will be the last time, I want to make sure that it is worth it. If I’m going to verbally assault a movie, I’m going to make sure it is an easy target. That was my thought process at least. I soon realized that just because a movie is easy to write about, that doesn’t mean it is easy to watch.

So what movie did I force upon my soul do you ask? Why CATS of course. Because who doesn’t like Cats? Everyone loves cats. What’s not to love about an ungrateful and rude animal that walks around your house like it owns the place. An animal that bites, scratches, and claws at anything it deems unworthy. “Let's make a movie, based off the perverted 80s Broadway production that centered around these literal spawns of Satan,” said every Hollywood executive with their head up their ass. As a matter of fact they thought it was such a good idea that they dropped 95 million U.S. dollars on it.

Now before I continue, as I typed “cats budget” in my google search bar, take a guess what came up after “cats bu..”. CATS BUTTHOLE SMELL. Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is wrong with people? I tried recreating it in the search bar to screenshot but I couldn’t get it to come up, but trust me. I know what I saw. What is it with cat people man? Seriously. Really threw me off my train of thought.

But yeah, 95 big ones. A lot of good things could have been done with that money, but nope. We needed a live action adaptation of Cats. Did anyone who thought this was a good idea even see the play? That shit was weird. I didn’t watch it, cause, well why the hell would I?

But from the bare minimum research that I did do, the general consensus was that it was a shitty play that made lots of money because people are dumb and will watch anything. I guess producers were hoping lightning would strike twice. If you saw the play you would know that there is literally no plot. It has nothing. It is literally a bunch of weirdos dressed like anthropomorphic cats dry humping each other and singing for 2 hours. I swear its target audience had to consist of lonely 12 years old, sad housewives, and perverts. I tried watching the musical just to get a general reference of the living hell I was going to put myself in only to be utterly mortified. My eyes and ears didn’t last 5 minutes. How it made all the money it did baffles me. But I’m not here to talk about this crime against humanity, I’m here to rip into its bastard child. And boy, oh boy, is there a lot to talk about.

$14.99 in and I’m already regretting my life choices. Everything in my life has led me to this moment and I really wish I could change that. Thanks to what a box office bomb this movie was, I can’t rent it anywhere. I can only buy it. Figures. You're already off to a bad start movie. 2 minutes into the opening scene and I already hate it. People walking around on all fours in fursuits, licking their genitals, singing dancing, some crappy asymmetric musical. WHY! Oh god why did people make this? What kind of furry bullshit is this? I am going to be completely transparent. I’m writing this while I’m watching the movie. I’m not even 5 minutes in and I want to blow my brains out. This is not hyperbole, I wish it was. I can’t dude. I can’t watch this fucking movie. All the characters speak in these weird haikus with British accents. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t know what anyone is saying half the freaking time. So many made up words and phrases. It's like the script was written by some Dr. Suess rejected. I genuinely have no idea what is going on. I was really hoping that for once one of my reviews wouldn’t sound like the rantings of a madman. But I can’t help it. This crap is rotting my brain. Seriously what is going on. Maybe I’m a simpleton who doesn’t get musicals, but I shit you not there is no plot. I have no idea what the hell is going on. How do you have a movie with no plot?

It’s just singing about being cats... and their FEET. JESUS CHRIST THEY HAVE FEET. No CGI paws. BARE. HUMAN. FEET. God why. How as an actor, do you go on set, act like a literal animal and tell yourself, “yeah this is gonna pan out great.” How did they sit down and go, “I’m going to sit here, lick a fake bowl of milk, sing and dance nonsense, then proceed to lick my non-existent cat balls.” I literally watched an actor snarl directly into the camera. When I went to find out who it was, I was unsurprised to see that all the pictures of the actors were gone. Just names. With a little digging I found out it was Ian Mckellen, you know, from Lord of the Rings. Magneto from Xmen. That Ian Mckellen. Yup, and he snarled to the camera like a cat. Anything for a paycheck right? Who am I to judge, I watched 2019’s Cats for an English class. Who is really losing here, cause frankly I don’t know anymore. If I have anything positive to say about this movie is that it has less dry humping than its source material. Key word less. I better get an A for this.

An hour into the movie and I still don’t know what the fuck is going on. Some dude in overalls is tap dancing. He's a “railway cat” cause he's a conductor or something. I physically cannot do this. I'm dying on the inside. A light inside me is slowly fading. Countless abhorrent musical numbers. Too many for a man to take. To put things in perspective, I did not like Hamilton. Did I respect it for what it was? Of course. Not my cup of tea though. Hamilton was a great musical, arguably one of the best, and I did not enjoy it whatsoever. Now here I am watching Cats. Just a little perspective.

As I came to the end of the movie I saw that I missed all kinds of things. There was a love plot, some kind of contest, and villain. But that didn’t concern me. All I could focus on was how I wasted an hour and a half of my life. 

An hour and a half wasted on this.

Do you think God left us because he feared what he created? I sure as hell do. The philosophers were right. Everyday Pantheism is making more and more sense. And if not that nihilism. God is dead. God is most certainly dead. Don’t believe me? The GIF above is all the proof you need.

I was hoping that for once one of these blogs would have some sense of conformity. Some sort of cohesion. Maybe an ounce of legitimacy. But I couldn’t. There is something about these movies that drain the life from you. Every second spent looking at my computer screen I felt brain cells dying. I might as well have drunk a whole 750 milliliter bottle of Everclear. That or bang my head against a wall for 15 minutes. Either would have been just as effective; and probably more efficient.

I thought that I could improve upon the quality of my blog. When I reread my old post I realized that they had no depth. I thought maybe it was me. Right? I was 15, What did I know about good writing? No. It never had anything to do with me. Movies like Cats are such horrendous abominations of human creation, that there is literally no way to talk about them with any form of professional effort. They are shallow. There is nothing to analyze. How can you analyze garbage? Art requires respect if it wants to be reviewed and judged accordingly. Cats and films like it don’t have my respect and never will. I type this with immense pleasure. Never again. Never will I ever put myself through this bull again. Thankfully, for the last time. I can ask Why Tho?

[howdoyouwriteanapplication9-blog]

paper writers

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Writemypaper4me Org Review

Writemypaper4me Org Review Perhaps because they imagine the last word goal is righteous. Perhaps as a result of there are tens of millions of unemployed people on this nation and they feel fortunate to have a job in a contracting industry. Booker Prize Finalist Chigozie Obioma shares a playlist of songs that he writes to, is inspired by his travels, and presents moments of reflection. Poet Mark Nowak shares a haiku train he developed for reckoning with the pandemic on the Worker Writers School, PEN America’s writing program for low-wage staff. Álvaro Enrigue, the founding father of PEN’s DREAMing Out Loud Program, introduces us to the writing workshop he created to amplify the voices of DREAMers. Even now, I am assured that most individuals at The Times do not hold these views. In the current setting, competitors is fierce and even the smallest error in your CV could be pricey. Hire our experts to create a CV that may showcase you in the best possible gentle. We clarify every inquiry and offer you rapid suggestions as a result of we care about your time and satisfaction. When you set your deadline, we make the maximum efforts to investigate, arrange and ship your paper punctually. In the wake of the international media consideration, WMSCI withdrew the staff’s invitation to attend. A decade later, CSAIL alumni replicate on their paper generator and reveal a new faux-convention project. YA author Emily X. R. Pan takes us on a deep dive into her favourite part of writing, the revision course of, which she proves is extra enjoyable than you would possibly think. Our last PEN to Paper episode features multidisciplinary artist and PEN/Faulkner Award-profitable novelist James Hannaham on the way to write authentic characters. My own forays into Wrongthink have made me the topic of fixed bullying by colleagues who disagree with my views. My work and my character are overtly demeaned on company-extensive Slack channels where masthead editors often weigh in. There, some coworkers insist I need to be rooted out if this firm is to be a really “inclusive” one, whereas others submit ax emojis subsequent to my name. Keep your reMarkable in its cover whereas working. Designed in conjuction with reMarkable 2, Book Folio is wise and useful protection on your paper pill. The paper of record is, increasingly, the document of these dwelling in a distant galaxy, one whose considerations are profoundly faraway from the lives of most people. Part of me needs I could say that my expertise was unique. But the truth is that mental curiosity—let alone risk-taking—is now a legal responsibility at The Times. Marker Plus is an unrivalled digital writing instrument. A second sensor on the Marker Plus’ top end, permits you to erase by simply flipping it the other way up like a traditional pencil. Designed to ship simply the best friction and draw digital ink on reMarkable with incredibly low lag, Marker and Marker Plus are inseparable from the paper-like expertise. Exceptionally exact instruments, all the way down to the smallest particulars. This will come within the type of a tutor, a research assistant, or only a e-book to lead you throughout your research process. “We will find great which means and satisfaction in having endured this historic check collectively,” President Reif advised new and returning students. Still other New York Times workers publicly smear me as a liar and a bigot on Twitter with no worry that harassing me might be met with acceptable action. A CV is your chance to shine and to current your finest face to a potential employer, a tutorial establishment, or another group or entity seeking to study you. It might be helpful should you’re writing for a class project or to get a mission, to find some assistance together with your study abilities. You may not realize it, however you will profit tremendously by having someone who can assist you together with your research.

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paper writing services

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Professional Writing A Research Paper Service

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[fixthedisconnect]

The Beginning

tl;dr

Trying to improve myself

In haiku form, son!

This is me. Lying on a couch. Down and out. Well maybe not out but definitely not in and very much down. If life were a game, I’m currently AFK. Discouraged. Disheartened. An argument could be made for “broken”. Certainly more than Hercules level of despair 

It's difficult to describe. I'm unsure if my problems qualify as legitimate (as opposed to un-legit) Unsure if I'm just perceiving them to be bigger or worse than they actually are? I really don't want to complain. We all know that person who is… “A little ray of sunshine” shall we say. Nothing is EVER good enough. They hate puppies and rainbows. They could be be unhappy at Disneyland. No one likes being around those people. They’re probably also communists.

*Side note, was there a scientific study published in a reputable peer reviewed journal with statistically significant data showing a clear correlation that led the researchers to fail to reject the null hypothesis, or whatever, and ultimately declare Mouse land “The Happiest Place on Earth”?... If not, Disney is MIGHTY sure of themselves. The HAPPIEST? Of ALL other places? I mean, have they even heard of the Great British Baking Show? Do you even bake, bruh? Don't get me wrong, Disneyland is up there but if I had to pick between the two, I'm more than fairly sure I'd have to go with the tasting tent in the middle of an English countryside, eating Puff pastries listening to Paul's thick liverpudlian accent. Okay less his accent, it's more of an excuse to say liverpudlian. Try it. It's fun. I think that gives the Peter pan ride a run for its money at least.

But I digress, back to me ;)

I was saying I don’t wish to be the aforementioned type of person so I try not to complain (some of y’all who know me personally are stifling scoffs I’m sure) and I realize there are many, MANY people who have it MUCH worse than me. I am also BEYOND grateful for the good things I do have in my life. 

BUT!

… at the same time, the stuff I’m dealing with really does seem like a bit to me.

I have an injured tailbone that’s been a source of constant pain for about 3 years now. I used to be able to sit in a certain position or on a specific chair without it hurting but now it’s pretty much 24/7. Yet x-rays, MRIs, trigger point and nerve blocking injections and several different meds have not helped at all.

I’m in my 30s now which apparently means your ribs pop out of place while you sleep. I get them cracked back into place at the Chiropractor and they're out again the next morning. Basically it hurts to breathe and I can feel my back muscles scraping over my ribs.

My house is ALSO falling apart and I can’t afford to fix it. My backyard is a dirt pile and I feel SUPER awesome that my kids don’t have grass to run around in. Our plumbing, electrical, and roof all need to be replaced because the house was built before electricity was a thing. Well... 1950. Which is basically the same. And every time I look around at everything that’s broken I feel worse because I’m reminded that I don’t have the means to fix it. Why don’t I have the the funds? Welp...

I’ve been laid off 3 times in the last 4 years and since graduating college 6 years ago have yet to be at one job longer than a year. I pretty much live in fear that every day I go into work will be my last and live in constant stress of how I’m going to provide for my family. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had a marketable skill but I majored in German Literature (long story for another day) and sadly not too many people are looking to hire me to read books to them in German and write sub-par research papers about the motivations of the protagonists...

Why don’t you just learn a new skill, you might ask? That’s a great question. I’ll tell you. In SONG form

No? Monty Python? Anyone? Bueller? NM...

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for about 2 years (which remarkably coincides with how old our youngest child is) and am effectively a zombie now living off cold pizza & diet mtn dew. That’s what zombies eat, right? Low energy, difficult to focus, seconds away from weeping most days. Which means I have had a beast of a time trying to find the time, motivation and energy to learn to code or be a graphic/ web designer or whatever skill will guarantee that I don’t have a heart attack every time someone says, “Hey, you got a sec?”

So, as a zombie dad, most days I wake up late, trying to get every last second of “sleep” that I can, roll out of bed, shove some “food” in my face and rush off to work (usually without showering, shaving, brushing teeth or any thing resembling self care or hygiene). Gross, I know. And believe me, I’m not boasting here. I live in a state of constant embarrassment of myself. But may I remind you... zombie.

Then I sit in pain for 8 hrs at a job I don’t care for (but am beyond grateful for) and am afraid to lose, hop in my almost broken vehicle & head home to eat a delicious meal made by my beautiful, loving wife. Try not to take the disappointment in my children’s eyes to heart when I tell them I can’t play with them because I’m too tired and in too much pain. Get them down to bed and instead of using the remaining hour or so to do something productive, I fall asleep while watching Parks & Rec through for the 100th time because it’s funny and I need as much levity and release as I can get. Then I’m on the night shift (usually up 2 or 3 times a night getting bottles, changing diapers, rocking back to sleep, etc) and doing it again the next day. Worn out. Run Down. Scraping by, dragging my broken down body through the motions of a “life.”

I feel like this:

Not like a cool zombie

Geez... He makes it look so EASY and fun...

Now, you’re not gonna believe me, but I SWEAR I’m not complaining. Seriously. Just explaining where I’m at these days. Setting the stage, painting the backdrop, giving you some context. I REALLY do try not to complain because as I said, I know it could be way worse and I really am grateful for the good things I DO have and if this is the price for those things and people, I’ll do it again and again. 

But do you see what I mean? Some might say, you don’t shower every day? You don’t brush your teeth regularly? But in my mind and body, I’m just too tired and don’t have time. Last year I broke two back molars in half chewing on gum. Yup, gum. And I lived with that for 6 months because I couldn’t get them fixed because I didn’t have insurance because I didn’t have a job. Seems like a legitimate reason versus a lame excuse.

But I know other people who are going to school full time, while working 2 jobs who seldom see their family let alone get time to play with them. Making do with less and seemingly more put-together than I am. So am I just making excuses then? I mean, have you SEEN this kid?!

Now, I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others. I know everyone’s got their own challenges and I should only compare myself to the best version of myself. But that’s just the thing. I AM comparing myself to myself. And I’m not even CLOSE. 

It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with life. It’s not that I just want more money (though that couldn’t hurt) or a bigger house or power or fame. I really only want enough to care for my family and some extra to help others out. It’s more of a discontent with who I am as a person. I’m not as nice as I’d like to be. I’m not as skilled as I’d like to be. I’m not as humble as I’d like to be. The list goes on... Literally. I have a list. A back log of ideas I want to try, things I want to learn, skills I want to have and put to use, people I want to help.

Basically, I have bad health, bad financial situation, no career, super awesome self esteem, fragile mental health, and not much of a social life.

Sooooo... So so SO!

I’m changing. This WAS me. 

I’m on a journey to finally achieve everything I’ve been putting off and become the best version of me. And I hope you’ll join me on the trip because I hope to learn from all this and I hope that someone somewhere can learn something as well. Even if that’s what NOT to do (Hey man, if it helps SOMEbody, I consider it a success and worth any effort).

So, follow along. I’ll share what I can along the way. And make sure to let me know how I can help you achieve YOUR goals too! Until later!

[justreadingit]

Spoiler free review for "The dark prophecy"

Yes I really finished it so soon and no I still haven't finished Peter Pan

PLOT

Zeus has punished his son Apollo—god of the sun, music, archery, poetry, and more—by casting him down to earth in the form of a gawky, acne-covered sixteen-year-old mortal named Lester. The only way Apollo can reclaim his rightful place on Mount Olympus is by restoring several Oracles that have gone dark. What is affecting the Oracles, and how can Apollo do anything about them without his powers?

After experiencing a series of dangerous—and frankly, humiliating—trials at Camp Half-Blood, Apollo must now leave the relative safety of the demigod training ground and embark on a hair-raising journey across North America. Fortunately, what he lacks in godly graces he's gaining in new friendships—with heroes who will be very familiar to fans of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Heroes of Olympus series. Come along for what promises to be a harrowing, hilarious, and haiku-filled ride. . . .

A LITTLE REVIEW

I loved seeing the way Apollo evolves throughout the book and the way everything intertwines. I'm always in love with the series and the book just confirmed that.

I’d give it a 10

[certifiedhypocrite]

haiku-oezu replied to your post: The Witness is a video game that Superbunnyhop...

I don’t think he panned it for being bad at it, I remember he had issues with the non puzzle aspects being poorly tied to them (aka just gateways to progress and not tied with the environment), didn’t he compare it to Portal as a way to show how to tie puzzle gameplay and narrative/environment correctly?

Ya I watched his review, I was being glib!!!!!

[keanuital]

Hot-again Keanu Reeves rakes in profits

NEW YORK • Keanu Reeves, now pushing 52, is a hot commodity again. Yes, 2017 just got that much stranger.

John Wick: Chapter 2, the latest vehicle for the 1990s heart-throb, garnered an estimated US$30 million (S$42.5 million) in North American ticket sales in its first weekend. That is more than double the amount raked in by the first film and the fourth best debut of the year.

Reeves, one of the most volatile assets in Hollywood, is not known as the best of actors and has certainly had some stinkers over the years. For every Matrix (1999), there is a Johnny Mnemonic (1995), for every Speed (1994), a Sweet November (2001). In 2013, he headlined 47 Ronin, an opulent martial arts spectacle that flopped about as hard as a movie can.

In short, he is a genuine movie star, but a streaky one. Of his major films, the correlation between boxoffice revenue and critical score on Rotten Tomatoes, which aggregates reviews, is an anaemic 0.5. Which is to say, some of his most lucrative movies are also some of his most panned projects.

However, he finally appears to have found his groove. The two John Wick films are among the most-praised pieces of his career. To be sure, there is not much to these movies: The special effects are minimal and the plot spartan: a slighted thug kills someone's dog and steals his car... the wrong someone, it turns out.

The action, however, is constant. The cinematography is sharp and the stunts are sublime.

If the Avengers movies are the action film equivalent of a poetry slam, the Wick movies are haiku. They are everything a would-be blockbuster like 47 Ronin is not. Most importantly, they were not that expensive to make - the Hollywood equivalent of a value stock.

Lions Gate Entertainment picked up distribution rights for the first Wick film just 11 weeks before its debut in 2014. With a slight marketing nudge, it became a very profitable asset, garnering a respectable US$44 million in North American theatres before making a particularly strong run on digital streaming platforms.

"You think, 'What's the big franchise that comes after Hunger Games and Divergent?' Guess what, it's John Wick," said comScore analyst Paul Dergarabedian.

"It's a profit-making machine and a movie studio's dream."

Lions Gate CEO Jon Feltheimer said the Wick films landed in a financial sweet spot for his studio and Hollywood at-large.

On a recent conference call with analysts, he said the sequel illustrated "the sustainability of a film model that allows us to create breakout hits without swinging for the fences".

If stripped down, stylised fare is the bullseye of the movie industry, Reeves is the movie star of the moment. He is far from his prime, so he does not require a Dwayne "Rock" Johnson-sized pay cheque.

And he is still a household name. The best parts of his instrument are on full display in Wick: a simmering stoicism and one-liners wooden enough to be both dark and funny.

"It's a man of few words kicking a** and taking names - almost like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the original Terminator," Dergarabedian said.

"I can't think of another star that can pull this off the way Keanu Reeves does."

X

[zenbabytravel]

Our friends and followers on social media and blog know by now our passion for sushi and London hoods where we hang out most. We also had few questions on on which Japanese restaurant in South Kensington: fresh sashimi, innovative cuisines,  bottomless brunches, low seating or cool social scene, kids in tow or grown ups only – so here are our picks for various occasions.

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So thrilled to have @japanhouseldn in the hood! Mesmerized by lunch, shop, elevator and toilets 🙈❤️ ******************************************* #japanhouseldn #kensingtonlunches #foodinspiration #sushiwithkids #foodiesofinstagram #sushiwithlove #kensingtonmums #londonfoodies @londonfoodbabes @london.foodguide @top_london_restaurants #citytripping #culturedkids #londoneats #akira

A post shared by Zenbabytravel (@zenbabytravel) on Sep 8, 2018 at 7:07am PDT

Tested with kids in tow:

Kiru London

1. Kiru – elegant but cosy, we went for an early name day celebration-dinner with our toddler. In Japanese Haiku poetry, kiru is a cutting word that delivers a deeper meaning through division and juxtaposition, greater than the sum of its parts. Meaning as beautiful as the dishes and service. The location is as good as it gets – Elystan Street by Sloane Avenue (my former hood). We read as well glorious reviews of Kiru’s bottomless brunches – for the exquisite dishes reasonably priced at £50pp for three courses plus bottomless drinks and £20pp for those aged 12-years and under plus soft drinks.

2. Maze Grill Park Walk – Gordon Ramsay needs little introduction. Maze Grill Park Walk also needs liitle introduction with our Chelsea friends – rare breed steaks and impeccable sushi in a casual chic setting with exposed bricks and filled with contemporary cool art.

Maze Grill Park Walk

3. Yashin Ocean House. The sibling of Yashin without Soy sauce from Argyll street, a cute sushi bar with outstanding Japanese dishes that we fell in love with years ago.

Yashin Ocean Sushi

4. Dozo, Brompton road. Low seating (zashiki style) and casual, great food. Gets very crowded at the weekend, so not a good place if you have 2 young kids in tow but totally feasible with just 1 civilised child (at least in our case). Dozo bills itself as a ‘Japanese fine dining restaurant’, though our lunches included strictly bento boxes and sushi sets, so we need to get back for dinner.

5. Sticks and sushi, Kings Road. The newly opened Sticks & sushi branch is spacey and cool, serving all the usual exquisite sushi plates with the Scandi twist.

Sticks & sushi

6. Kulu kulu – no frills Japanese conveyor belt cafe just by South Ken station. It’s cosy and small but perfect for a quick lunch and sushi cravings after South Ken iconic museums.

Sakurado – Japanese restaurant South Kensington

7. Sakurado – Cafe and sweet shop rather than Japanese restaurant in South Kensington. The flowers and entrance are quite instagramable, the food on the average side. We popped in on a Saturday, despite an okish menu there was no sashimi or any kind of fresh fish to be had. We contented ourselves with cucumber rolls and average prawn tempura. Prosecco and champagne proved a tricky choice, they had to open a couple of bottles to get it right ( or to be more precise I had to help them open a couple of bottles). They may be the new kids on the block on Gloucester road, so let us know if you tested them and had a better outcome.

Grown ups mainly – which Japanese restaurant South Kensington?

1. Dinings SW3. The second Dinings in London, this is a quaint authentic Japanese, which goes well beyond the traditional sushi. We sat at the sushi counter with our friends and watched in awe the chefs labout of love translated into exquisite and mouthwatering little dishes. I loved the double baked aubergine, the tuna brushed vigorously with soya sauce, the black cod, the tacos with salmon and funky twists, the shrimp tempura. The menu is vast and amazing, from sea bass with fresh truffle to smoked eel with yuzu zest – inspiration straight from the traditional fare served in izakayas (informal Japanese pubs).

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Conveyor belt sushi London to Japanese fine dining with kids has been one of our most popular recent articles on the blog. So best Japanese restaurants in Kensington is in preparation and coming shortly! #londonsushi #finedininglondon #kidslovesushi #kensingtonsushi #bestofsushi #sushibar #foodstagram #finediningwithkids #foodgram #foodlover #instafood #sushibars #foodism #diningwithkids #bestoflondon #secretdining #sushiporn #kensingtontreats #knightsbridge #diningssw3 #japanesecuisine ❤️🍣🥂

A post shared by Zenbabytravel (@zenbabytravel) on Feb 9, 2019 at 2:17am PST

2. E&O Kings Road : an establishment by now with its buzzing bar and fabulous pan-Asian menu, along with its sibling E&O Noting Hill. At World’s End end of Chelsea, Eight over Eight design is super-slick, black and white, and with an abundance of oriental lampshades. The wines are superb and reasonably priced – this is the place we keep on going back with various friends, it’s always a great night out and yum dinner.

Blakes below Kensington

3. Blakes below Kensington. A Kensington gem, in love with the bar and restaurant of this newly renovated Anoushka Kempel. Whilst this is not a Japanese restaurant South Kensington per se, one has few fresh Japanese options including sashimi platters, black cod, edamame, grilled avocado, yellow tail or tuna tartare and so much more !

Sushi & Robata by Genji Kensington

Are you happy to go slightly further than South Ken for some outstanding sushi? Kensington street has some fine choices, glam and casual perfectly appropriate for dining with kids: Akira @ Japan House or Sushi & Robata by Genji?

Zuma

Or should one find himself in Knightsbridge: Zuma needs no introduction – an institution with outstanding food as well as glam and fun social scene. I am still to take the young ones in here, I’ve been rather selfish and kept it to myself and friends!

Which Japanese restaurant in South Kensington ? Our friends and followers on social media and blog know by now our passion for sushi… 874 more words