#palats

[meowthiroth]

bored now. here's some old art of my fursona

[fair-itself]

There's a lot I could say about The Subtance as an unflinching, gruesome close-up portrait of systemic misogyny, internalized sexism, self-hatred, and the brutality of fame, but more importantly, you know what I bet? I bet there is exactly one customer of The Subtance who is doing everything right. Week one, makes a living as a fitness influencer; week two, enjoys a lavish retirement funded by her other self's earnings. Week one, jogging, yoga, filming tiktoks, enjoying the vitality of youth; week two, Alaskan cruises, mahjong with the girls, enjoying unlimited free time and liberation from the crushing weight of the societal expectation to care what other people think of you. Keeps her other self on a nice air mattress with a quilt and always cooks a big recovery breakfast to be waiting for her when she switches. Walks out of that creepy alley every week whistling. Has no idea potential complications even exist. Every other user is living a psychedelic horror show of trauma, goop, and rage, and she's just at Barnes and Noble picking up the latest selection for book club. I know I'm alone in this, but I would happily watch that sequel.

[hornedgod]

tumblr keeps putting posts on my dash about how it’s not “realistic” for Gideon to be fat/buff/fat+buff bc all the Ninth House eats is snow leeks and oatmeal

I’m so sorry, I can’t seem to hear you. I was too busy adding 20 pounds to her, as I do every time I hear this rancid opinion

[its-where-the-wild-things-are]

[cat-cosplay]

It's dangerous to go alone.

Take this.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

(Accidentally mis-clicked enter on my last ask. Here's the full "ask")

What he says...

VS What I read...

("us" as in him and WWX, not the spider just to be clear)

They should make an adaptation called 'The Unfiltered', where Lan Wangji says exactly what's on his mind.

[slavhew]

two guys enter a closet

[that-wildwolf]

hey, remember being 18 years old and playing mass effect for the first time and it's got this like intense aura of being very small and very insignificant in a very big, very empty galaxy? remember playing mass effect for the first time and everything all of this is so new and mysterious, and it's 2am and you're sitting in a dark room in the light from your tv and you're playing through feros for the first time and you feel that this is someting very old and very ancient and you are somewhere you shouldn't be and you don't know what's going to happen or where you're going but you keep on. there's a tingling in your stomach and you're playing mass effect for the first time. the thorian is a milennia old sentient plant being. the rachni queen is old and telepathic and a hive mind and in pain. sovereign is an ancient machine that has not been built but is, and has always been, and this is something so alien and so unlike and beyond anything your human mind can comprehend, and this is something unexplainable and huge and as uncaring and indifferent as the empty galaxy around you. you're playing mass effect for the first time and you're walking on the surface of an almost completely empty planet with nothing but your two companions silently walking beside you and everything is so huge and empty and silent and you're so small and insignificant and it's so beautiful and so scary and you feel like you are on a rollercoaster about to drop down. you are playing mass effect for the first time and you're playing the mission on the moon and you stop and just look up at earth visible in the sky. you know this. this is home. you are playing mass effect for the first time, and the galaxy is so big, and you are so tiny, and everything is about to change for you.

[ludotpng]

I see the vision

[anomaliex]

I think Gorgug grows up trying to take up as little space as possible.

I think that as a child, before he was all that conscious of his own decisions, he broke a lot of stuff. That's fine, small children do that and his parents have had him since he was a baby. A huge baby, especially for gnomes. A huge baby that grew into a toddler the size of his parents who's (again, normal and okay) tantrums did actual property damage because he's an orc. They were never mad at him for it, they'd never be mad at a child experiencing big emotions and not yet able to process them or understand consequences, but we know how their families reacted to that. We know that they always saw him as something that would grow up to be a threat.

I think that pretty much as soon as he develops a sense of it Gorgug starts feeling ashamed. He's ashamed of how nothing ever fits right, and of how loud he gets when he's upset, and of how the other kids in the neighbourhood (because it's a small folk neighbourhood!!) get scared of him sometimes, and of how when he has bad dreams he breaks his bed and is unable to control himself, like a baby. There was probably a time where he thought he was really clumsy and he was ashamed of that too, but by the time he turns like twelve Gorgug kind of understands that he's not more clumsy than the average kid, it's just that every time he drops something or bumps into a shelf it'll do so much more damage than if anyone else he lives around were to do the same.

(And his parents are talented tinkerers but sometimes their work is so delicate and all he ever does is wreck things. He doesn't dare touch it no matter how much they try to share this passion with him — eventually they assume he just doesn't like it and they would never force him to do something he doesn't want. Gorgug doesn't let himself discover how much he enjoys it until sophomore year. I wonder if he regrets all those years he spent fearing the possibility of ruining things and depriving himself of something he ended up loving.)

(And he was never "stupid", it's just that all he ever thought himself of was a brute so he never entertained the possibility of his own intelligence until faced with it. He didn't know he could thrive academically so it wasn't something he ever considered committing to. He literally just played bloodrush because he was good at it, not because he liked it. He just thought he had to, and he thought math is something he couldn't possibly do. Why try?)

Entering Highschool Gorgug is very shy, and he doesn't really have friends. Adults always like to blame the latter on the first, but sometimes it's the other way around and sometimes it's a vicious cycle. Sometimes you're six years old and none of the kids in your elementary school class are anything like you but you desperately try to fit in until you slip up and show them how much of a freak you are one time (I think he got mad. I think he broke a table. I think someone cried. I think maybe there was a teacher who was so much smaller than him and looked at him as if he were something to be feared. I think that in that moment he decided that he is. Or at least his rage, maybe.) and then you never get to have friends again and you shrink in on yourself and you don't understand how anyone else does it — it's not even that you're scared you just don't understand, and maybe you just want to be alone. And then a happy outspoken child grows into a shy teenager because they don't have any friends.

I think Gorgug is careful. He is so gentle and empathetic and kind and he is so careful because every time he isn't something breaks. And every time he raises his voice someone is scared of him and all he ever wants is people to not be afraid. So he hunches over, and he stands in the corner, and he scoots to the very edge of the bench so you don't have to sit too close to him, and he takes every insult to his face without fighting back lest he'll get upset and despite all his fucking efforts all it takes is one asshole to take it too far and he feels himself snap and all he wants to do is break something and hurt and twist and kill. And that scares him. He doesn't allow himself to be angry (and as wonderful as Digby and Wilma are they don't understand. They don't understand that he has to be, that he has to let it out some time.) so he bottles it up and every time it explodes out of him he doesn't know how to handle it other than to swing his axe and kill maul bite snarl kill.

But then, his adventuring party seems to not mind his rage, or his size, or his freakish strength. If anything they seem to like it, or at least respect him for it. He's never considered doing something like music before because that's for talented people and it's art and he doesn't do art because his hands are only good for destruction, not creation. Right? He does the music anyway. It's nice because there he's allowed to be angry on the drums and no one thinks it's weird.

He meets a girl that finds his rage attractive and he was scared that he'd scared her but he didn't. Ragh becomes one of his dearest friends and maybe for the first time Gorgug looks at a raging (half-)orc — all snarling and panting and bearing his teeth and twitching at any sound or scent — and doesn't find himself appalled because all he sees is someone that's fighting to keep him and his friends safe. And oh, maybe it's okay to be enraged.

I think he grows into a young man that doesn't love being angry but stops hating it too. He likes, in a way, that he gets angry over the right things, and he likes that being angry enables him to protect those he cares for. In the end his rage is a survival instinct and it's good to be alive. That leads to him, for a while, only accepting his rage as something that's fine to express in combat, and if it's outside of combat then only to his friends. There's still this need to make himself palatable, to tone himself down so everyone stays comfortable around him, but that also fades eventually.

During junior year he does finally come out of his shell enough to just express his anger the second he feels it. I think it is liberating and it's also the scariest thing he's ever done, and he went through a forest that made him confront his deepest fears already. (And that's exactly what it was. The inconvenience to his parents, the fear it strikes in others, the rejection it brings, the way it seems to reduce him to a weapon or maybe a wild animal and to some people including parts of him means he absolutely cannot be an intelligent or loveworthy person. He's always been afraid of his own rage.)

I think that if a younger Gorgug could see his older self snarl at one of his friends for making a joke about his parents' lawnmower, with his tusks fully grown out and muscle finally starting to fill out his clothes a little, so strong and so dangerous and so unashamed of it, he'd feel no relief and only horror. I think acceptance is something that feels alien to him right up until he suddenly achieves it.

[koifoxes]

mv doodles

[cyborgnachte]

"I go now, to the night sky. It is there I shall find mine order."

[mei-meidraws]

I got a cricut for christmas so i made a TSP inspired rubiks cube

Look at it.

[choccy-milky]

💙 💚

[thenationofzaun]

My Jinx was missing from Season 2.

Where was the Jinx who lured enforcers into a trap, taunted them, then murdered them while laughing?

Where was the Jinx who killed a crow just because it surprised her, and just because she could, then used its feathers as bookmarks?

Where was the Jinx who massacred Firelights with no hesitation or remorse, and was so violent towards them that even Vi was shocked?

Where was the Jinx who straddled Silco and repeatedly stabbed him in the face because she thought he lied to her?

Where was the Jinx who blew enforcers to pieces on the bridge, then stalked through the bloody aftermath, mercilessly picking off survivors one by one while humming a song?

Where was the Jinx who smiled while tormenting Vi by pretending she had Caitlyn's severed head on a platter?

Where was the Jinx who tied Sevika up, hit her, and threatened to cut her other arm off just for an interrogation, then strung her upside down after she got her answer?

Where was the Jinx who smiled like a gleeful child while shooting at people and when told of all the enforcers she killed?

Where was the Jinx who, in rage and grief after losing Silco, fired a Hextech rocket directly at the Council while hearing his voice telling her to let them burn?

Where was the terrifying and threatening force of destruction I fell in love with? She appeared a little in Season 2 Act 1, then never again. Did Baby Yoda give her a personality transplant along with curing her mental illness?

Where was this girl?

[breadbugg]

post side order pains

full image under the cut