#pained? sad? strong but exhausted?

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

🥺❤️🥺❤️🥺❤️

[pepprs]

feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable

[bunnis-monsters]

NSFW

A/N: My comms are discounted for a limited time for Black Friday btw. This is a kofi request, so if you want more then send me a Kofi~ it’s a snow leopard hybrid ^^

Being abandoned by your owner in the middle of winter was already not ideal, but being caught in a record breaking blizzard was definitely worse.

You could sense it coming. Being a cat hybrid had its perks, but you almost wished you were blissfully unaware of your imminent demise.

It had been a few hours since your owner drove off, leaving you in a torn hoodie and your thin pajama pants. He hadn’t known the risks of owning a cat hybrid such as yourself, and when you went into heat and started rubbing your scent on everything and biting him to try and claim his as your mate, he abandoned you.

It really hurt. You adored your owner, thinking he was different from other humans who simply saw you as a pet.

But you were wrong. He tossed you away without a second thought, leaving you to die. Had you really meant that little to him?

Despite your sadness, you curled up under a bench, shivering as you tried to keep yourself warm. Even being in heat wasn’t helping much, the ache in your belly only adding to the discomfort and pain you were feeling.

You wanted to be warm, to nest and be properly bred by a kind male. Maybe that was too much for a house cat hybrid such as yourself to ask. Thinking you were worth something led you here after all…

As the snow only continued to fall, you tried your best to stay warm. It was only to try and find the most comfort you could while waiting for your death.

You weren’t accustomed to taking care of yourself. Ever since your birth, food had been handed to you, beautiful clothes and jewelry adorning your body when it came time for you to be presented before humans for sale.

Before this, you had never worried about warmth or sustenance, simply relying on your owner.

What else could you do?

As you thought all hope was loss, a scent other than the cold and wet smell of snow wafted through the air, a familiar yet strange one.

It an instant the bench was ripped from its foundation, a figure bending down to examine you.

Your vision was a bit blurry, but you could smell it.

This was a wild hybrid.

In the past you heard tales of such beasts, hybrids that fled to the wild to escape human subjugation, but because you were a pampered house cat hybrid, you had yet to encounter one.

“Lost, little one?”

Your tail puffed out as you let out a weak hiss, watching as the hybrid’s face got closer to yours. He smelled like blood, perhaps he had just procured a fresh kill and was looking to add to his winter stockpile.

At least if he killed you, it would be a quicker death than freezing. Perhaps this was some kind of twisted mercy…

But you never felt his fangs puncture your throat, instead your hoodie was being bitten, your body lifted and carried by his strong jaws.

He was taking you somewhere. Where? You could only guess back to his den. It would be easier to kill your there instead of risking the scent of blood being left on the snow, leading back to his home.

Although you were afraid, the big cat was warm. His breath fanned against your neck, and your body reacted against your will, producing enticing pheromones that told any hybrid nearby that you were in heat.

He was soft, and for some reason you felt something being wrapped around you… some kind of furs from one of his hunts. Why would he bother to keep you warm? Did he prefer his prey fresh and didn’t want you to freeze to death?

None of this really mattered to you. You were cold, hungry, and exhausted. If you slept now, perhaps you would be unconscious when the time came and pass on in your sleep.

So you passed out, too tired to even notice how his pheromones responded to yours.

When you awoke, you were in bed. Your owner had never allowed you to sleep with him, so this was the first time you had been in a human bed and not one for pets.

The blankets were made of the same furs you had been cloaked in before. You sat up slowly, still processing what led you to this.

Being abandoned right before a blizzard… nearly freezing to death… a wolf hybrid taking you with him…

It was a lot to think about, and even with a now well rested mind your head was still spinning. Maybe a meal would help you make sense of this…

“You’re awake…”

You stiffened at the voice, your blood running cold. When you finally found the courage to turn and look at the source of it, you nearly passed out again.

In the doorway was a snow leopard hybrid, his cat ears flicking as he stared down at you. He was nearly twice your size, and thoughts of you beating him in a fight went down the drain immediately.

“Thought you were a goner for a bit. Tougher than you look.”

He spoke slowly, his eyes on your plump form. You weren't sure what he was thinking, and before you could respond your belly rumbled.

“Hungry, huh?”

His long, thick tail swayed behind him as he approached. Although he was tall, he was thin and lean, not the same type of terrifying a lion or tiger hybrid would be, but still holding the same predatory glint in his eye.

“Kittens in heat such as yourself have to eat.”

You felt your cheeks warm. Of course he could tell you were in season, your scent was probably overwhelming at this distance.

He tilted his head. “Not wild, are you? What’s a little thing such as yourself doing all the way out here?”

Your lip wobbled. All the pain, all the anger and confusion came bubbling to the surface.

“My owner… he just… he left me all alone… a-and it was scary, I…”

The snow leopard stared at you, letting you cry before he leaned down to lick away you tears before beginning to groom you.

This calmed you significantly, a soft purr rumbling in your chest. This was a comfort you had been denied since you had been separated from your litter as a kitten, and you couldn’t help but lean in as he licked back your hair.

“It’ll be alright. You’re mine now, my property. You won’t be cold or scared anymore.”

He rubbed his cheek against yours, moving his face to your neck and giving a harsh bite to your sensitive flesh, a clear marking of his territory.

While you ate, it was clear he was holding himself back from something. His golden eyes followed your every move, his tail swaying behind him almost sending you into a trance like state.

You usually ate whatever your owner did, even if it made you sick or upset your sensitive belly, but tonight you had stew, made with cat hybrids in mind.

Once you had your fill, your body was able to recover enough to start producing more pheromones. It was well aware there was a male nearby and that you were fertile, so it made your cunt grow wet and hot, ensuring you’d be easy for the average male to penetrate.

But unfortunately your stupid body didn’t understand the male before you was twice your size. He could sense your heat, knew that your body was trying to stir him forward.

He sniffed at you. This was the scent that had interested him. It wasn’t like he was cruel, if a female such as yourself was in need he wouldn’t just abandon you in the cold, but the fact you were plump and in heat certainly made taking you in much more enticing.

You let out a startled mew when he approached, his face burying itself into your neck. His tongue lapped softly at the scent gland there, his hands moving to hold onto your hips.

From the moment he saw you, he knew that you would be his mate. The bond had been formed before you even noticed he was there, and the snow leopard was eager to confirm it.

You smelled like heaven, a mix of your natural musk and some kind of sweet perfume your owner had you wear. Tearing off your clothes was child’s play for his sharp claws, and his body vibrated with purrs once he laid eyes on your naked form.

Already he was imagining your belly heavy and swollen with his kits, his hand gently pressing against the fat of your tummy. Being fat and plump was good for surveying the harsh climate where he lived, and it was important for females to be fed fresh meat throughout the winter.

His cock hardened, it wasn’t going to be easy fitting into such a small cat hybrid. Compared to him you were like a mouse, easily positioned however he wanted.

His fingers dipped into you, making you mewl and arch your back. You had already been bucking your hips like a needy little thing, your body desperate to be mated before your heat was over.

His cock stretched you out. It was unpleasant at best, almost painful as you struggled to take in something too big for you.

Even though he was being gentle, nothing would help when you were never meant to be bred by a big cat such as himself.

Despite this, your heat ridden body made it work, beat pooling into your abdomen as your gushed around his fat cock. Your tail twitched as he slowly pulled out and pushed back in without warning, a bulge forming in your belly from the sheer size of him.

The feeling of being ravished by him was… exhilarating. You were too small, too weak to do anything besides moan and writhe underneath him, letting the snow leopard use you as a living flesh light to be filled with his seed.

Even though it felt like you were being torn apart at first, his finger slowly rubbing at your clit and his tip hitting your special spot over and over has your cunt clenching around him before you could even think.

If you hadn’t been in heat, you most likely would have died during the mating session, but while you were in season your body produced so much more lubricant and pheromones that helped you take him inside of you.

You felt so warm when he came inside, thick ropes of hot and sticky cum filling your little womb. Your heat eased a bit as you were thoroughly bred. You knew that this would ensure pregnancy, even if all you had to go off of was instinct alone.

“Little one…”

He purred into your ear, keeping his cock inside of you to make sure none of his cum leaked out. His tongue licked at your neck and hair again, grooming you out of affection now.

“My mate, my sweetheart… I’ll take care of you, alright?”

And that was enough for you. Now all you wanted was a mate and somewhere warm to sleep with three meals a day. It was clear that he could provide that.

So you slept without worry, curled up with your mate, your new provider.

————————

NSFW TAGLIST: @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko

[slashmagpie]

It’s quiet when the wild cards stop.

Pearl comes to a stop for the first time in hours, her body shaking, heart still pounding. She can feel the heavy thrum of blood in her veins. She stares out over spawn island and the server beyond, her breath misting in the cool evening air.

It hits her then, all at once. Impulse is gone. Her friend, her ally, the man she’d wanted to win. She’d given him everything, her resources, her totem, her time, her devotion…

And he’s gone.

The next breath in hurts, catching against something tight and sharp in her chest. It comes out shaking. She swallows hard against the lump in her throat.

Gem’s gone, too. If she’d lived just another thirty seconds she’d have survived the explosion of wild cards enough to see this quiet aftermath. Pearl could have been her friend, then, maybe, best friends again on red just like Gem had promised. If she hadn’t changed her mind again. Because Gem’s been confusing, all hot-and-cold, and Pearl’s been confused, so confused, and now she’ll never have clarity.

…They’ll never have that 1v1 either. 

The breath in burns. Her eyes burn too. The breath out catches at her vocal cords, not quite a whine, not quite a sob.

Impulse gone. Gem gone. BigB’s gone, has been gone for a while, taken by his snail, their friendly, (un)reliable, formerly nosy neighbour. Pearl remembers losing him before, gone too soon, time run out, and she’d wanted him to win, she’d wanted—

Scott’s dead. And isn’t that—isn’t that just—they’d made it to the end as a team. Just like Scott wanted. Because everybody had said they couldn’t, that they’d turn on each other like before, and he’d wanted to prove them wrong. And she still doesn’t know, really, how she feels about him. If this season has healed those wounds. If there's a part of her that will always feel bitter and sick and angry when she thinks about him. Even now, it’s still not gone. But they’d laughed, and they’d stuck by each other, and that had to mean something. It had meant something, however small.

She wraps her arms around herself, curls in around the burning ore in her chest. Her cheeks are wet. The in breath is just as ragged and broken as the out breath.

God, she feels pathetic. Completely and utterly pathetic. Alone and aching and everyone she’s fought with, fought for, is gone. Just like last time. Just like the time before. It hurts, and not in a good way, and she longs for the familiar and soothing sting of powdered snow. 

(A pain that is completely inaccessible to her in this world.) 

“Pearl!” 

She turns. Cleo’s standing on the bank, and she looks just as exhausted as Pearl feels. Pearl hurriedly straightens up, wipes at her eyes, sucks in a shaking, aching breath.

“Cleo!” 

Cleo doesn’t say anything as Pearl crosses the water towards her. She regards Pearl with sad eyes, soft eyes, and god, it doesn’t help with how pathetic Pearl feels. She draws in another painful breath, sharp in her throat, and Cleo opens her arms.

Pearl takes the invitation gladly, practically throwing herself at Cleo. Cleo is large and tall and broad and her arms are strong and warm around Pearl, or as warm as a zombie can get, at least. Pearl buries her face into the sweat-and-blood-soaked fabric of Cleo’s leotard and hiccups a sob around the glass shards of grief in her chest.

“Cleo, I’m so lost, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Cleo hums, fingers running through Pearl’s tangled hair, and her voice catches in her throat, awkward and unsure before hardening. “I—If nothing else, we kill Joel.”

Killing Joel won’t make anything better. It’s barely a goal, nothing like help Impulse win, nothing ever so noble. (Nothing like get Scott back, nothing like protect BigB, nothing like get Bdubs—Joel—Scar to the end, it’s not—)

But it’s something. Something to latch onto, when it feels like the stillness of the world is somehow even more unstable than the chaos that had preceded it.

She swallows, pushes herself back from Cleo’s chest, looks up into Cleo’s dim green eyes. They’re rimmed with red and cushioned by deep purple bags, steely and uncertain and the last thing Pearl has to rely on.

“I agree with that. I like that, I like that thought. Okay. Y’know what, that’s fine.”

“That’s—that’s the law.”

“Alright. Fine. Let’s do that.”

And the words come out harsh, bitter, stinging her tongue like lemon juice and bile. Really, there’s nothing else to fight for, nothing else to win, not for Pearl. She’s not dead, but she’s already out of the game, all of her pieces stolen. There’s just Cleo, her old friend, her old enemy, her last remaining teammate. There’s just Cleo, and Pearl, and a half-dozen losses shattered between them.

So Pearl will sideline her grief, and take those shards, and she will do her best to kill with them. Just like everyone’s been goading her to do all season. Red in her clothes, in her eyes, in her blood, between her teeth. A stray dog that’s been ordered to attack. She doesn’t fight it anymore. There’s no point in pretending to be a person now.

After all, there’s nothing left to lose, and nothing left to win.

[rainynightmoonlight]

If only I could hold you through a screen

Characters: Venti, Zhongli, Xiao, Ei, Yae Miko, Nahida, Wanderer, Furina, Neuvillette

Summary: Self Aware Archons and their companions react to you crying as you stare at them in the character screen, they try to comfort you but all they hear you say is "I wish you were here with me."

Warnings: Reader is crying, possessive behavior, immense anger, violent thoughts

A/U: Self aware genshin AU

A/n: IM BACK FROM THE DEAD GUYS!!! This is platonic on Nahida's end

VENTI

He was devastated as you gently sobbed, staring at his character in the character menu. He only wished to play you a song to ease the pain you were feeling. Who or what could make a God, no, the creator cry? He was more upset the more he thought of the possibilities of what made you break down.

“I-I…wish you…were with me.” 

As those words spilled out of your mouth, all choked out with sobs following each word, Venti could feel a tear roll down his face. Venti pulled out his lyre, doing one of his idle animations in hopes of cheering you up. On his side, he was playing you the most relaxing tune in all of Tevat! 

But it was blocked by the code. You could distantly hear it, however, if you listened close enough. You drift off as you focus on the secret melody, leaving Venti with a solemn smile. Seeing your peaceful sleeping face brought the Anemo Archon a sense of calm. 

As your screen dimmed due to inactivity, the more he wished to hug and comfort you. He couldn’t wish for anything more than to wipe your tears away and comfort you. He gently slowed the tune as your screen turned off. There was only one thought he had, and whispered out to comfort himself.

“One day, no tears will be shed when I’m with you, my dear god.”

ZHONGLI

He didn’t understand when you just started sobbing when you stared at him in the character menu. He started to panic the more you cried staring at him. Something in him broke the longer he heard you cry. He thought he had did something wrong to hurt you, but that suspicion was broken when you spoke through broken sobs. 

“I wish you were with me…”

That’s when his heart shattered. He started to mumble to himself, a mix of comforting words directed at you and words comforting himself. The more you focused on him, the more you could hear him speak outside his code. Out of anger, he did his idle with his little rock spinning around him. 

He wished it hit whoever, or whatever, had hurt you. Seeing you cry brought this strong protectiveness over you. Seeing you this fragile was new to him, and the fact that the creator could be sad slightly scared him. He wished for nothing more than to be there to comfort you.

Due to the exhaustion of crying, you started to fall asleep. The more your screened dimmed more and more as you dozed off to sleep, Zhongli could only imagine one thing in his mind. He mumbled it out loud, and you smiled as you could faintly hear it.

“I will protect you soon, there will be no need for you to feel any more tears roll down your pretty cheeks.”

XIAO

The fact that such a higher being such as yourself could cry surprised him. And him not being able to handle human like emotions didn’t help either. He only stared in disbelief and guilt as he couldn’t be there for you. He’s asked those around him what he should do when someone close to him cries, but never thought he needed to try the advice he was given with you. 

Your broken sobs did so much to his already aching heart. And hearing you scream into a nearby cushion made him even more angry. He wanted to purge whatever or whoever did this to you. You stared at his character, he was doing his mask idle due to his increasing anger and sadness watching you, which had only increased as you mumbled to him in broken sobs.  

“I w-wish y-you were h-here with me.”

His anger only increased, he tried so hard to keep his adeptal energy under control. Nothing could stop his racing mind and what could have happened to you out of playing the game. He wanted nothing more than to keep you safe. Seeing you in this much pain, straining to talk as you sobbed into a cushion, didn’t help his urges. 

He calmed down as he saw your sleeping face. You dozed off, and his eyes were stuck on your resting eyes. A wave of peace had cleared his angry head, his fists now relaxing. As your screen dimmed, his voice was faint and soft.

“Nothing will make you cry ever again when I’m around, I swear it.”

EI

Your tears fell as you stared at the Raiden Shogun, the puppet, in the character screen. Sensing your saddened presence, Ei had switched her consciousness to see what that matter was. Her eyes widened as you stared at her with a heavy breath and shaky eyes. She didn’t understand what had gotte you so upset. 

Seeing you cry hurt her so much as she stared at you through the puppet’s eyes. Ei wanted nothing more than your happiness to last for eternity. Her electro energy was becoming too much, while her consciousness possessed the puppet you had stared at. Her electro ball animation seemed a lot more aggressive than normal as she heard your screaming voice. 

“I wish you were here with me!”

She felt touched at first that you wanted her with you. She wanted you with her too for so long. But your scream made her anger even more prominent. She couldn’t bring herself to look away as you choked back sobs, your breath uneven. The more you calmed down, the more she started to relax. 

She saw your exhausted, tear stained face and felt her heart, outside the puppet, long for your embrace. She wanted nothing more than for you to be in her Plane of Euthymia, where no one would ever hurt you. Your soft breaths made her smile as your tears stopped. As the screen dimmed, her soothing voice spoke. 

“You will be safe with me soon enough, my dearest creator.”

YAE MIKO

She seemed confused at first as you were stuck on the character menu. But seeing your tears made her quickly understand what was going on. Someone had hurt you, and they needed to be dealt with. Your crying got louder and she couldn’t help her growing anger. 

Just as you stuttered out words, a bird had flown to her finger before her very angry fox spirit friend tried to bite it. She may have been smiling, but her anger was bubbling over. Hearing your weak and stuttering voice speak pulled her attention away from her angry fox spirit. She felt so honored to hear those words from you. 

“I-I w-wish y-you w-were w-with m-me.”

She had to hold herself back from electrifying everything right there in the menu. She was so focused on who had done this to you, she had started to plot. She wanted to humiliate and hurt those that had disgraced you. No one should be treating a deity of your caliber with such disrespect. 

Yae Miko smirked as she saw you shrink and fall asleep on the place you were sitting. The more the screen dimmed, the more her eyes glowed with mischievous intent. She hummed to herself as she plotted the demise of those that made you cry. Her voice was smooth as she hummed her words through her teeth. 

“My my, your protection will soon come from the familiar of the Electro Archon my dear god, so please have patience with me~.”

NAHIDA

Nahida wanted to understand why you felt so sad. She was only a baby Archon after all, she looked to you for guidance on human emotions seeing as you had similar ones. But your crying to her had worried her, as she was ill-equipped to help. Nothing in her mind mattered, only you smiling down on her and giving her your happy aura.

She thought of so many ways to try to cheer you up. She did her string to people idle, trying her best to remind you that she is your friend and is there for you. She did what she could, trying to show you how much you were cared for. Her heart broke as she realized her efforts weren’t working. 

“I wish you were here with me.”

She smiled up at you, noticing how the tears stained your face. She was so grateful that a deity like you wanted her, even if she was an inexperienced Archon. She had worshiped you greatly, and only wished to see you smile. Her mind wasn’t on those that had hurt you, but on you feeling better at the moment. 

Seeing you fall asleep brought a smile to her face. You being asleep brought her hope that she could finally meet you in your dreams and bring you comfort. She looked at your now relaxed face, your screen dimming. Once you had fallen into a calm slumber, her voice spoke in hopes to bring you reassurance in your sleep. 

“I promise to protect you in your dreams, so no more tears, oh wise one!”

WANDERER

You were staring at him in the character menu, as tears rolled down your face. It scared him, thoughts of worry and panic, thinking he had done something to displease you. But the more you just stared at him, the more he could tell that it was something else that bothered you. Anger replaced the panic as you started to sob.

He never understood how human emotions worked, and a deity like you having those emotions were new to him. The more your soft sobs caught his ears, the more uncomfortable he felt. He started summoning his anemo ball, doing the start of his idle, but the anemo ball kept getting bigger the longer he held it. The anemo energy then dissipated as he was surprised by your mumbling. 

“I wish you…were…here with me…””

He was caught so off guard when you said that. He felt like it wasn’t fair for you to say that out of nowhere, especially when you were this sad. He thought you were joking, you wanting a puppet like him to be with you to help bring you comfort. He looked into your eyes and saw the exhaustion in them. 

Seeing you fall asleep in front of him was like a gift. He knew it would help you feel better, but something in him wanted to cuddle you while you drifted off. Anger gripped him once more, how could anyone make you cry was the only thought in his head. Subconsciously, he spoke, hoping you heard him.

“Those lousy vermin don’t deserve you. They will know their place once I’m with you.”

FURINA

Furina never understood how to handle someone crying, especially since she was one to bottle up her emotions and hide them away from others. But seeing you like this made her softly smile, it meant you trusted her to be emotional and raw. The next emotion that came barreling in was anger. Anger at those that had made you so sad. 

Her mind raced as she tried to think of a way to cheer you up from the other side. She started holding her water seahorse as she was doing her idle, trying to cheer you up. Her face was left with a shocked expression as she held her water seahorse closer, not ready for you to mumble out to her. 

“I wish you were here…with me.”

Those words made her eyes flutter to yours. You wanted her, no one else, her to be with you as you cried. Her ego and stature wad boosted as she straightened her posture. She wanted to reach a hand out to your cheek to stroke your tears away. 

Her sense of justice was strong, and she’d bring anyone to justice in your name. Especially if they had made you cry like this. The screen dimmed as she was so focused on your crying state. She was so caught up in her theatric mind, she didn’t notice either you falling asleep and her loud proclamation that you swore you heard. 

“I will make laws just to make it so if anything makes you cry, they will have to stand justice in front of the Hydro Archon herself!”

NEUVILLETTE

Neuvillette wasn’t ready for you to stare at him in the character menu with teary eyes. He wasn’t new to tears and sadness, but your sadness was something fresh to him. He wanted to do something about it, wanting to bring those to justice if they had hurt you. Little droplets of rain started to fall around him. 

He did his rain idle as his sadness increased, seeing you stuttering through your cries. He was saddened that the one being he looked up to felt so much sadness. There was a guilt as he felt happy that someone as important as you could have vulnerable moments. The surrounding rain in his idle poured harder as you stuttered out something softly in your tears.

“I w-wish you w-were h-here with m-me.”

He couldn’t stop his rain animation after hearing you speak. Your vulnerable voice and stutters made his eyes widen, he couldn’t bring himself to think that you could be this hurt. It worried him as he only wanted to be with you. He wanted to comfort you properly and not from the confines of code and screen that held him. 

The rain started to stop as he saw you falling asleep. He understood that you had a raw emotional moment and only thought that sleep was much needed. He thought of ways to bring those that made you cry to trial, not sure how they would get there in the first place, however. The screen dimmed more as he only stared at you. 

“Those who made you cry will be judged by the Oratrice itself. So save your tears, my lovely god, for when we can cry together.”

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

[loveemagicpeace]

⭐️🎸Astrology Notes🌙🫧

Men's who has capricorn in personal planets grow up faster and they mature earlier. They have more energy, a father, a guardian. They are very responsible and serious. These are the fathers who will do anything for their child and want to do things right. They are very careful and do not get into something if they do not see a future here and are also more focused on themselves and their work.

Sagittarius rising- in reality they are very sad people inside. They make the best jokes and you will always feel positive and happy with them, but they often wear a mask that they show to others, but only to the people they trust the most, or sometimes even to those they don't. In their sidereal chart they have scorpio rising which means that this makes their interior very deep and emotional but hidden from the outside world.

Scoprio rising mixed with Gemini, will be very open, talkative and talk a lot. Geminis like to talk about things, they are curious, and sometimes they say more than they should. Therefore, such a person can betray many secrets of other people without realizing it or feeling a bad conscience.

I think a men who has mars in 8th house in very mysterious. This position is often marked by deep passions, transformative energy, and a mysterious aura. Men with Mars in the 8th house are driven by a deep and intense passion in all areas of their lives. Sex is very important part of him. There is often a strong desire for power and control, especially over shared resources, emotional connections, and even other people. He can often be subject to jealousy and intense behavior. But he doesn't show it from the beginning. I noticed that many times they test the other person's behavior and that they want to know their step.

Chiron sextile Ascendant-People naturally feel drawn to you when they need emotional support because you emanate a sense of understanding and compassion. This aspect suggests that you've likely experienced deep emotional or psychological wounds in your life, but you have learned to grow from them. Through facing and overcoming your struggles, you've gained a deeper understanding of yourself, which you can share with others. With this aspect, you are deeply empathetic, often able to sense the pain or struggles of others without them having to say much. There's a tendency to be drawn toward others who need healing, and you may feel a strong urge to help them. While Chiron sextile Ascendant often means you are aware of your wounds, it's important not to overly identify with them or let them define you.

Chiron trine Ascendant-People may feel comfortable opening up to you about their struggles, as your own experiences with pain or hardship have made you empathetic and understanding. You tend to present yourself as authentic and vulnerable, which draws people in and makes them feel connected to you. You aren't afraid to show your scars or talk about your past difficulties, and this openness makes you relatable and trustworthy. You tend to attract people who need healing or who have been wounded in similar ways as you. You'll need to be mindful of not taking on too much of other people's pain, as this can lead to burnout or emotional exhaustion.

I have noticed with Virgos, especially when someone has them in their personal planets, that they are minimalist in terms of style, clothes, etc. Let's say: they buy one piece and then combine the whole outfit with this piece. They often buy in pieces and are usually always color coordinated and never wear more than 2 colors.

If u don't have 5th house synastry with another person at all probability they will not have children. Because this is the house that represents children, childbirth, etc. And when you don't share this house with someone, you don't even see the desire to have children with that person, and the focus is usually on several other things.

The 4th house represents a family (but it does not necessarily represent a family with children. It is more of a home that you want to create for yourself or with your partner, and when you share this house with someone, there are also more chances that you will create a home together and also aspects with the moon indicate that you and the person can move together.

People who have many virgo placements or 6th houses often vomit. They are very prone to vomiting and have a sensitive stomach. They are very sensitive to new food (for example, if they try food that they have never tried before, it can quickly affect their stomach). They usually do not tolerate alcohol well. And they usually don't drink a certain drink or eat a certain food because it just doesn't suit them.

Difference between libra sun and libra rising - libra sun are more proud in love and when it comes to love. They are decisive about what they want and who they want in love. Because they are ruled by the sun and that is their ego and they can have a bigger ego. But they are also very serious, stable, always looking for some stability in love. Many differences, their view of love is completely different. Libra rising are sometimes too indecisive and in love with the idea of love. Maybe sometimes the idea that they can have someone and sometimes that's why they come across the wrong partner. They have to be more careful with who they get involved with, because they have an Aries in the 7th house and they can get a partner who ends up taking a lot away from them. When you're with someone who has the same sun as you, they have the same ego about the same things, so sometimes it's good if your sun is different from your partner's. Let's say: libra & libra sun will both have egos when it comes to love. Taurus & taurus sun are stubborn about values, money, materialism, changes.

Venus in Capricorn people if they really love you, they will stay and won't let you go. If they don't see a future with you, they won't stay with you for long (because they don't like to waste time). Which means that if they see you for several months, they see a future. Also they are not complicated. They appreciate mature people and intelligent people. They like people who have self-respect. But they are very careful in love.

It is very important to have compatible mercury in synastry. Because that's how you can find a common language. And you can mentally connect with someone in a more deep way. When you have a different mercury, it means that you and the person find it difficult to find a common language.

When you have 12th house placements you are more connected to your subconscious world. You feel things much more. You can manifest things faster and you can connect more with your other world.

2nd house shows that you value a lot of material things. And that when someone buys you a gift or anything, you always save it and have it with you.

Saturn in the eighth resists transformations, which is why the older astrologers associated this placement with a difficult death. It is not so much a sign of a difficult death as of resistence to the idea of any kind of change.

In contrast, the ninth house symbolizes those mental functions that reach out to deal with whatever is not routine or day-to-day. It is the house through which come new ideas, perceptions, and modes of thinking: a house of consciousness expansion. This is also universal house, which means that people with this placements are more connected to the universe. It is traditionally associated with long journeys, as opposed to the short journeys of the third. Long journeys place one in an unfamiliar situation and hence expand ones consciousness.

The tenth house signifies all relationships between oneself and another in which there is inequality: where one person plays a dominant role to the other, who explicitly or implicitly takes the role of a child or dependent. The essence of such a relationship is that the person taking the dominant role teaches or guides the other. The inequality inherent in these relationships is usually normal and proper rather than pathological. The superior knowledge of the guide figure and the guidance being given are useful and necessary to the one receiving them. Saturn as chart ruler represents in your life some guidelines. He sends you people who are like "saturn people" who give you some advice or teach you something. A reason to better understand life. Saturn gives you hints on how to find what you are looking for and how to achieve it.

When you have Cancer Moon, you will always remember your entire life from early childhood to adulthood. As if to browse the memory back and forth and relive the feelings of that moment. You also have a strong intuition. And you are emotionally quick to judge people, and your memory is essentially an emotional impression. You will remember the feeling of a person, an event, things and happenings. Memories leave an emotional imprint on your heart. Unlike, say, the Capricorn Moon, they are a practical sign. They will always remember how much you did for them, time is very important to them, how much time you took for them (especially they remember actions). An air moon like, for example, a Gemini, they give a lot to communication, words and will remember events based on what someone told them. Then we have a fiery moon, say Sagittarius moon. They will remember their energy and experience feelings based on the energy that the person gives them

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🦋🌙🫧

[yaut-jaknowit]

How bout a human woman saves a yautja after he got hurt pretty bad or something. Over time they get to know one another…one thing leads to another and the bang. But the male leaves not long after to return home, unknowingly leaving a bun in the oven…only that out possibly years after…

-🥤

Left Behind

Character: Ahtaal (Male Yautja) x AFAB!Reader

Word Count: 8895

Summary: A night that changed your life forever. You had to fight for survival and live to tell the tale. Ahtaal is saved only because of you. That leaves him in your debt. He heals you from wounds that will leave lasting scars. But he too leaves something else behind.

Author Note: I love the fact you call it 'bun in the oven'! Imagine saving a Yautja and then get the biggest dick down ever. Wish come true~.

Masterlist

Ao3

Blood burned through the skin on your arm. The pain a distant thought as you shoved the long spear into the chest of sickly, black monster. Black tendrils poured from its head. Four weirdly shaped mandibles. A long rigidly tail with a sharpened end made for stabbing. One that looked like it had crawled out of the depths of hell to come after anyone vulnerable. A demon in the flesh.

It almost looked like the beast you had protected a deadly blow from. But this thing… it was ten times worse.

The pain nearly grew to a point you couldn’t hold onto the spear for much longer. It slipped from your blood drenched hands. But, the point was still lodged deep into the chest of the screeching beast. You panted and backed away until the back of your foot met resistance. The creature you had just saved still lay on the ground, hopefully not dead. Or all of this would’ve been for naught.

Your arms stung with each passing moment, the pain mounting higher and higher. The adrenaline that once filled your system began to slowly deflate. You swallowed back the thick saliva in the back of your throat. Yet, not once did your eyes leave the beast as it backed away and clawed at the spear. Thankfully, it was barbed and refused to move from deep within it.

As if the life that once filled its body vanished in a second, it crumpled to the ground in a pile. A few twitches was all it gave before finally coming to still. Dead.

Everything hurt. Your chest heaved for air. Your mind tried to reel in every thought you had. Your heart thundered loud and clear in its bony cage. It took everything you had not to let your knees collapsed under your own weight. You slowly glanced at the down creature at your feet. His shoulder slowly rose and fell with each breath. A deep sigh of relief sounded from you.

Now, came a new problem. To move him. This place wasn’t safe. Other people would soon come. The government would easily snatch the two of you up in a heartbeat. One to silence you. He would become an experiment for whatever they wanted. You couldn’t have that. Not when he looks so sad in the state that he was in. You turned around and squatted at his side. A poke to his uninjured gave no results. Not even the next five. He was out cold.

This was unfortunately circumstances. He was at least seven feet tall and three times your weight easily. Deadweight was harder to move than someone giving some assistance.

With might and will, you used a tarp you had randomly found to hook under his arms. It was just strong enough to help you pull him through the foliage of the forest. After a hundred yards, you could no longer move. The exhaustion in your muscles, in your soul was far too deep. This all started this morning and it was deep into the night. The full moon shing ominously above the land. You collapsed harshly onto bruised knees and cut up palms. There was nothing more you could give to save him or yourself. You did what you could before the darkness consumed your vision and took away your conscious.

The gentle sway is the first thing you awoke to with a groggy groan. The crust in your eyes made it uncomfortable to open them. You rubbed it away with a shaky, weak arm before opening them.

Bright light blinded you from the first thing you saw. A groan tumbling out of your throat. Pain met you that same moment, racing up from your forearms. The rest of you throbbed with an ache that would take ten hot baths to finally chip away at it. You squinted through the sunlight and noticed a familiar red. Your hand reached up timidly and touched at the thick scales you could feel under your fingertips.

Big Red. The creature you had saved. You tilted your head back. He was facing forward, eyes hidden by the mandibles that covered half of his face. But the missing one was a familiar sight.

“Y-you’re al-ive,” you croaked out, voice harsh to even your own foggy ears. Your hand dropped down to your stomach, unable to hold up its own weight anymore. The grunt he made you felt it rather than heard it from his own mouth.

Your face cracked with a tiny grin. At least you hadn’t failed on that front while fighting something you didn’t know existed. A demon in the flesh. Your wrecked body trembled. A sight you hoped to never be face to face with again.

Through your blurry vision, he was marching quickly through the forest despite a noticeable limp to his gait. A table had been thrown at him, striking him direction on his shin when he jumped to block it. There wasn’t a loud crack of bone but it was possible it had only been fractured. You hummed and lazily drew patterns on his midriff, mind still foggy.

A rumbled vibrated through his chest and drew your attention to stop. That’s when the lightbulb above your head finally sprouted to life. Your lips pressed together while you looked away from him, eyes nearly bulging out. Heat flashed to life upon your cheeks.

Big Red moved across the forest, rarely taking breaks during the whole day. Only to stop at a creek and scoop water into his strangely constructed mouth. He would set you down and let you finally move around. It was hard at first, trying to get the blood flowing back in your limbs. Nor did your muscles want to listen. But, you did what you could and drank from the fresh creek. Anything to quench the dryness in your throat.

It was back to him carrying you in the bridle position and marching away. At points, you would take naps, needing the extra energy to recuperate from the days events.

At dusk, Big Red stopped and set you down. There was no creek or source of water. You had to lean heavily against the base of a tree with a shoulder. Your forearms were covered with scorch marks from the acidic blood that had landed on them. The pain from them was the only thing that kept you on your feet, giving you enough adrenaline to stay alert.

He limped away from you, leaving you behind. Fear gripped your heart that had taken you further into the forest only to abandoned you. After all you had- he stopped and pressed a button on the metal band that covered half of his forearm. You heard a hiss echo through the air and furrowed your brows.

Like a in a sci-fi movie, a large object revealed itself to your very eyes. Your jaw dropped when it came to mind it was a spacecraft. From Star Wars!

The creature came back over to you and easily scooped your weakened form up. Big Red carried you over where a ramp had come down. White steam came from the hydraulics in a dramatic manner. You tried to take everything. The information overload caused the pressure in your skull to tenfold. You groaned and curled up against his chest as if he’ll protect you from inward pain.

With your eyes closed, you missed all the important, interesting details no one has probably seen before. You whined and scrunched up your face as if that’ll push the pain away.

Warmth touched at your rear and brought you back to the present. You squinted and find yourself in a different room you couldn’t find a name for. Big Red had set you down on a table with many tools already on it. To which he was pushing off of the side to give you more room. He reached to the side and grabbed hold a box and set it down next to you. You watched as the box was open to reveal different items. None of them you could really figure out were for.

A moment of trust. It wasn’t like you could fight him in your circumstances. He could easily overpower you and subject you to whatever he wanted.

Instead, he grabbed some sort of gun with a need. You gulped at the size of the needle and strange blue liquid that filled the containment hanging off of the back. Either he didn’t notice or just ignored the fear gripping your heart. Big Red plunged the needle without hesitation into your shoulder. You grimaced at the slight pinched but otherwise, stayed still.

The needle was pulled free from your muscles and set off to the side. Next, he grabbed a white jar and untwisted the top. A sulfuric smell poured out of the jar. You gagged and used your shirt to cover your nose. “Oh my god, what is-is that?” you croaked out with disgust written all over your face.

Red stopped and tilted his head up. The golden mask on his features prevented you from seeing his true feelings.

“It is hurt,” he grumbled out, shocking you from hearing his voice for the first time. It wasn’t as deep as you thought but enough to send a tremble up the length of your spine. Your thoughts got you caught up in the moment before you shook them free. You cocked your head to the side. Hurt? Of course your arms hurt. They’ve been burned with acid.

White paste coated his fingertips before he slathered the burns in it.

The scream that curdled from your throat shocked him too. You jerked away and nearly slid off of the table before he caught you. Big Red forced you back onto the table and held you down. “Ooman! Calm! Calm. At ease,” his voice cut through the pain that burned through your veins. It was just enough to get you to finally focus on him again.

“I say it hurt,” he muttered then slowly let go of you when your muscles relaxed. Your body didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. Not even enough adrenaline could keep you going.

A fiery glare was set ablaze on the big, dark red alien. “I thought you were saying if I was hurting!” you yelled at him, arms drawn up to your chest. In case he may go for a second round without asking first.

A huff came from underneath the metal mask. “Paste heals but… hurts.” The words didn’t come naturally to him. He struggled to find them but you understood what he was getting to.

“Well, do you have something that doesn’t hurt like a bitch?” you snarked at him, in hopes to find a nice soothing paste. Not the one that made you feel like you were stepping on hot coals.

“No. Just this.” Ah, he didn’t get the sarcasm that was thick in your voice. You sighed, face scrunched up again from the pain this caused you. “Let me?” Big Red held out a waiting hand, letting you have the choice to either get an infection or deal with more pain. A groan sounded from your tired form before you roughly set one forearm in his palm.

“Better warning next time,” you mumbled and tensed up. An agony you didn’t want to experience but it meant for your life to survive. Then, so be it.

It was a pain you’ve never felt before.

The healing process took half as long as you thought. A couple of months turned into only a month until Dai’stbaen, the big, red alien, deemed you healed enough. Even letting you stay longer just to make sure you had no lasting injuries.

Today would be your last night with him. Dai’stbaen said he would fly you back to your home before setting off home bound. The last time you would see the towering beast in all of his glory. And you felt heartbroken to see him leave. You wish for him to take you but couldn’t go through with the idea of leaving everything behind. Not your friends or family who had to be worried sick about you at this point.

Countless times, he had made you promise and even created a mark on your skin to ensure you wouldn’t tell his secret. To let the whole world know that aliens, the Yautjas, exist. Dai told you it was against his code to let you live but you had saved him. That was a higher offense to kill someone who had saved his life. So, he had to slip out of your bed that night and back into his ship. Where he flew off into the stars, to never be seen again.

The ache he left you made it difficult to walk the next few days. All the marks he left on you a remind of what he could make you feel. A distance feeling after the days go by without him there with you.

After the first week back home, you had lost your job, finally calmed down your family and friends, and was barely able to skim on past in your lonely apartment. It felt better when Dai’stbaen was there with you, even if it was just for that night.

Things for first month was difficult, even after you were able to pick up a job that was remote work. It paid well enough to keep a roof over your head and food in your stomach.

Well until you missed your period. That’s when your heart dropped down into the apartment below you.

You raced to the nearest Walgreens and picked up a test. The cashier gave you a certain expression at the distant look in your eyes. All of your thoughts were running rampant through your mind. It had to be impossible. Truly, it really had to be. He wasn’t human!

The first place you went to back home was in your bathroom, tearing open the package. Then, you stopped just shy of sitting down on the toilet. Your eyes looked at yourself in the mirror. The distraught in your features from the horror of the situation. It had to be from the stressfulness of the situation you had just survived from. That what it had to be. But… even while in his care on his spacecraft, you had been hit by your period. God, that freaked him out when he smelt the fresh blood. Which… in turn freaked you out learning he could smell it. Like a dog.

Your hands lowered the unopened test to the counter. No. You shook your head. No, this wasn’t real. This was happening because of stress. It finally caught up to you. Your head nodded. Yeah, that’s what it had to be. You placed the unopened pregnancy test back into the box and shoved it into a random drawer. That would be needed at a different time. Not now. Because it was impossible.

Until you missed a second period. Even then, you tried to push off that feeling that there was something wrong with you. It was from stress. New job, new duties, new scars, new life. Everything to create a hell storm to recuperate from. Of course your uterus wouldn’t want to put you through anymore stress than needed.

At the same time of the next month, going into the wintery months, not a drop of blood.

That night, after work, you stood in the bathroom, hands holding the unopened test again. Your hands shook while looking down at the package. Every part of your mind tried to reason with all the other excuses you’ve given before. Stress. Job. Nearly being killed. Scars. Each one circling through the turn style until they fell away.

Just get it over with.

In front of the mirror, you turned to the side and lifted up the front of shirt. Your brows furrowed. There was a little weight loss when you first returned, eating practically just meat and little greens. Now… was that a slight bulge in your stomach? You could feel yourself on the verge of crying.

A child. There couldn’t be a chance you were pregnant with the alien you had a one-night stand with. He wasn’t coming back. You would be left alone to take care of the child. Then, there’s the fact it would half alien! How would they look? More like you or Dai’stbaen. There would be no way for them to live a normal life of going to school or having friends. And yourself. A child who could never step out into the light.

For the first time in the last three months, you plopped down on the toilet and took the test.

Each passing second, each passing heartbeat worsened everything feeling swirling inside of you. Every thought ran wild.

There were two sides to the coin. The more logical side. A hybrid alien baby couldn’t be possible. Let alone on the only time you were with him. It didn’t matter the three or four times he knotted you. That was a surprise. Very pleasant. Yet, there was also the fact you weren’t having your period the last three months. Surely, your body should’ve figured itself out at this point.

As the test did its process, you paced through the tiny bathroom squeezed into your one bedroom apartment. One of your hands ran through your locks, messing up the strands. It was all you could do to stop looking at the test every two seconds.

Two minutes passed until you took another glance and stopped in your tracks. Plus. A plus sign. You covered your mouth and backed into the nearest wall. Tears welled in your eyes.

Fear gripped your heartstrings. This was to be your life now. A mother with a hybrid child who couldn’t be normal. God, why did he have to leave!? Why did you have to fall for the alien?!

That night, you cried hard, curled up into a ball on the bathroom floor.

One good thing in your life was the fact your job just required you to sit in a chair and play customer service. There was no going out of your house and being heavily pregnant. To people wanting to know every single detail about the pregnancy and the child.

After the sixth month, you truly picked yourself up by your big pants and made a plan. It had to a home birth. No one could know. Not unless they take your child away. Over your dead body.

Supplies had been purchased, for the most part. Only a couple of onesies, a crib, some toys, and lots and lots diapers. You weren’t sure what to expect besides the normal stuff you researched for a human child. This would be a new experience for you and the whole world. A world that will never know what you possess deep within your belly.

This was all new territory to you. Of course it was. Who else has had an alien baby before?! Shit, calm down. You gripped the desk’s edge breathed through the unease in your stomach. From there, you were able to slow your pounding heart once more. Everything will turn out okay. It had to be.

By the beginning of the ninth month, you couldn’t go out. None of your family was allowed to see you, but that stemmed from the end of the seventh month. Where your bump was pronounced at that point. The questions and integration you would go through all for them to find out there’s no father in the picture. You could see the color drain from your parents face if you had to tell them.

The new job went well so far. An up in your unsteady life. You have yet to tell them about an unplanned trip that was coming up soon. Whenever your child decided to pop out. You didn’t even know if that was going to happen on time. Who knows if the alien genes have altered the time frame of the pregnancy. God, you didn’t know how any of this worked.

So far, the idea was when your water broke, you would use your vacation and sick leave to give a home birth. Hopefully from there, you can figure out a way to take care of the child while at home. All you prayed for was the delivery went smooth.

Two weeks later, while working away, a rush of water soaked the apex of your thighs. You were in the middle of call, pausing mid sentence at the feeling. A hand slapped over your mouth to stop any noises from escaping. There wasn’t any pain, just a feeling you had just wetted your pants. The person on the other end asked for you to repeat what you said. You swallowed down the lump in your throat and continued onward, barely paying attention.

It was about to happen.

When the work day ended, you threw down your headset and rushed to the bathroom. Supplies had been laid out in preparation for when the time came.

A blow up pool to lay in your living room was pulled out. A hose that could attach to the bathtub’s facet was connected then dragged out to the pool. An air mattress blowup machine was set down next to the deflated pool. The small hose was connect to the necessary hole before you turned it on.

The noise it created was uncomfortable to listen to. A headache began to form. Pressure created inside your skull and pressed against your eyes. You wanted to take some pain killers but was afraid on if that was the right thing to do. People get medicine at the hospitals but how much was too much. Would anything you’ve taken affect the baby? Oh god, you hadn’t thought about that! You wanted to smack yourself silly for not thinking about such a thing. Had you put the child in danger now?!

When the machine changed its tone, you looked down to see the blow up pool had been finished. It only took a single disconnected hose to seal it off. Instead of putting it away, you decided to keep the device nearby just in case. You wanted it be prepared at all costs since you’ll be doing this alone. Without anyone. No one to hold your hand. No one to make sure you’re okay.

Tears welled up in my eyes at those thoughts. All alone to give birth an alien baby. A mistake you had partially regretted. The night of throes was one you could never forget about. Your hand subconsciously rubbed against the lingering scar on your neck. A mark that he left in reminder of himself. Not the only thing he had left behind in his wake.

After all the supplies had been dragged out, you texted your boss you had an emergency and couldn’t be there for work. You were using the next three days to recoup from this. You wished for more but didn’t want to anger your new boss about the sudden leave. All you had to do was fake it until you make it. Pretend you knew everything about giving birth. It’s natural. Your body should know what to do and how to do it.

For the rest of the day, you simply walked around your small apartment. A sharp pain began over time to throb in your nether regions. It only eased up when you continued to walk around. Thankfully, it was manageable for the most part. No drugs. Just walking your way through it.

The night came. Your ankles were swollen beyond belief. The lower portion of your back ached. The throbbing never went away completely. It receded to the back of your mind then waned back into existence. You constantly gnawed on your bottom lip and tried to put on the T.V on something random to distract you. It helped little to draw your mind away from the different pains you were experiencing.

One look at the clock had you groaning. It was two in the morning. The contractions you were having only grew worse and closer together. That left you with no time to get any shut eye besides a five minute Power Nap every once in a while. You could only endure the aches as you rested in bed.

Night progressed onward until the rosy fingers of morning cascaded across the lightening sky. Any other day, you may have taken a picture at a sight so pretty. Instead, you scoffed at it and rolled out of bed.

Not once did you get more than five minutes of a nap.

The contractions had grown to a point where it made it hard to stand. Yet, you bear your weight against a chair in the small dining room. Standing it meant to help. Let gravity do its thing. Yet, with the lack of sleep made it hard to use what energy you did have to stay standing.

Then, the need to push hit you like a semi truck. You had to rush to fill up the pool with hot water. It was all you had left to do before everything would be ready.

All of your clothing had been strewn across the living room. All the towels you owned were set around in arms length near you. You sunk into the steaming water and groaned at the relaxing prosperities it offered.

It was time to push.

A day you knew you would never forget despite what you’ve read. The hormones in the brain could cause you to forget that any of it happen. The pain. The agony. Nearly shitting yourself. All variables to when your bundle of joy was freed from your body. Just a little thing that didn’t… look to weird.

He was so ugly he was cute in a way that only a mother would understand. He had the features of his father. Yet with a humanness to him you could see. Yet, your son could never step out into the world like you are able to. Unless he will be ripped away from you as you are dragged deep underground. Never to see or hear from your family again.

His face had only two mandibles. Bottom ones that were only nubs at this point with no sharp, deadly fang to taint the tip. He had no hair. That left you to wonder if he who’s hair he may take after. You hoped not the alien’s. Who knows if they have a routine. Not like you could have the supplies or knowledge to take care of such thing.

Thankfully, his skin mostly matched your own. There were hints of that dark red of scales that pebbled the tops of his forearms. You flinched at the sight and picked at the scales. But they didn’t come off. Your brows pushed up together as you worried the scales wouldn’t come off. They had to.

His first cry snapped you out of your stupor.

Since that day, living with a child you didn’t know how to take care of was beyond exhausting and nerve wracking. There was no time to yourself. Let alone, going out to see friends and family. You just used the excuse of work. It was always about work.

Your son, Austin, was different then research told you. From his ability to sit up only weeks after birth. He was able to speak at six months; crawl at eight before standing at eleven months. He pushed past each milestone with ease. You were proud of him, astonished he could perform each feat.

Days turned into months. Those milestone months turned into years. Before you knew it, your little Austin had turned five. A year he would have been starting kindergarten if he was normal.

One thing that changed about him was his hair. It easily came to you his hair was thin but like the rubbery dreads of Dai’stbaen. His scales multiplied across the tops of his forearms, growing up to his shoulders. Some peeked out on his chest and down his belly. The red was stark across otherwise smooth skin. He looked… not human. Only a mother could love. As harsh as that sounded, it was the truth. But, if anyone took him away from you, they would meet a mother’s fury.

During the night, you were curled around Austin. A protective shield to hide him away from the dangers of the real world outside the safety of your apartment. That was his one rule. All windows must stay shuttered and sealed off. No one could see in. No one could know he existed.

The time dragged on. Every second feeling like going over a pile of sharp rocks on the bottom of your feet. Nothing quelled the unease that sat in the pit of your stomach. The years may have passed well but you weren’t sure you were doing this right. This is a hybrid baby where the father isn’t in the picture. You didn’t even know if Dai’stbaen was still alive. All the dangerous things he lives to hunt for a passion, for a living. You shuttered at the reminder of all the skulls he possesses. Dangerous and lethal.

When sleep finally decided to drag you into its depths, you jerked up. Something in the back of your mind screaming to get up. Austin whined when you slid off the bed and rushed towards the bat you had close to the bed.

By the time your fingers curled around the bat, your bedroom door creaked open. Fear pulsed through your body like a powerful drug. Your hands trembled while holding onto the weapon. The darkness made it next impossible to see the figure standing in your doorway. That didn’t stop you from rushing forward and bringing the metal bat down with all of your strength.

Only for the bat to be caught mid swing.

It was tugged out of your grip and tossed behind the figure. The lights were flickered on, blinding you. You squinted through the pain the best you could only to see a darkly dressed figure there. More piled in. You stumbled backwards until your back hit the wall.

Harsh hands snatched at your wrists and smashed you nearly face first into the ground. Both of your arms are wrenched behind your back and locked into place with handcuffs.

Finally, at this point, your brain has finally caught up. But, it was too late to struggle. One person held down your legs. Other held various points of your body so it was impossible to move more than an inch.

The shrill scream of Austin had the fight in you restored to full power. A war cry thundered into the room, causing the people on you to tense. Your arms were already restrained with metal cuffs. Yet, your legs struck out and hit something soft underneath your foot. The tall tale sound of pain cut through the tense air. Someone fell down with a thud. You didn’t stop. Your legs continued to thrash until both of your wrists were being bent in a way that felt like they had snapped.

A scream of pain rang throughout the small bedroom before someone used some sort of cloth to tie around your mouth. It effectively quieted all of your screams. You looked up the best you could towards a masked face and swore you were going to hurt them all for hurting your son.

Austin had been pulled out first before they had painfully dragged you out of your own apartment. The entire time, you fought them. Each time, they either kneed at your ribs and tugged harder on your shoulders.

Then, you received a knee to the head.

.

Word spreads like wildfire. Nothing like this is common. The council is immediately called upon to set forth who shall proceed with the task at hand. But, when it comes down the finer details, Dai’stbaen is the one traveling through time and space. Back to a planet he has not seen in years. Where he wished to return for his own pleasure and time. To a ooman that… captured his attention.

This return trip wasn’t meant for time away from the hunt. A job had been handed to him. A very important job that needed to be completed before Cetanu could be released.

A hybrid had been spoken about on the rail. A ooman/Yautja hybrid. Dangerous beyond belief to let such a thing be in the hands of the oomans. Some call for it to killed. An abomination in many minds. It all came down to Dai’stbaen in the end. If he deems it mercy or an act upon the code, it shall be killed.

The ship softly shuttered when it came to rest on earth’s ground. All the engines slowly whirled down, powering off with a couple switches. Dai’stbaen unbuckled from the seat and stood up. His weapons soon adorned his frame before he headed out the hatch.

Pine and morning dew filtered into his mask. He took in the lungful, shoulders rising and falling. Then, he was off. Only a flash of dark red in the sea of green and brown.

Before arriving here, the Yautja had done his fair share of research. Many known places for ooman government settlements are pinpointed on a map. A map that Dai’stbaen currently was using to show him the right direction. Yautjas have been here for a long, long time.

His silent feet led him straight to building that wasn’t well hidden just deep in the forest. A helipad was the only way in and out of here. Whoever was here was all there could be. Backup, if he had been spotted, would take too much time to capture him.

A cloak covered him from sight. Dai’stbaen took roost up in a tree, eyes scanning over the decently sized building. Just enough to hold a small team. For whatever they were doing to the hybrid. The Yautja scowled at the thought of the nasty oomans. He only knew of one that was worth a blooding mark. One well deserved after saving his life. Death almost came to the ooman as well after the fight had finished. Wounds that one should’ve never survived from. Without him, the ooman would’ve passed. A strong, mighty soul lost to Cetanu. Dai will not allow for that to happen.

Weak entry points were easy to locate and mark mentally in his mind. No patrols wondered the outside perimeter. Oomans and their cockiness. No wonder they die so easily to his own kind.

With the other modes on his bio mask, he determined the easiest way to get into the complex. His feet were silent as he dropped back down to the forest floor and moved inward.

Despite the place being lack with its security, Dai’stbaen never once let his guard fall. Not all shall seem to meet the eye. Plenty of life experiences and past hunts have told him otherwise. The hunt may seem easy but may turn for the worse at a moments notice. Dai rather not be caught in trap so avoidable. Not like some past Yautjas have. A shame and board line dishonor.

To get inside the complex took little pressure. A certain wire cut had the door failing. It opened up and revealed an empty hallway. The cloak was still activated as he moved forward. He used his mask to look at patches possibly taken. Yet, the signs helped him the most.

Dai’stbaen stood in front of a door strong enough to hold back a Yautja at full strength. A grumble fell from his throat as he looked over the exterior. This wasn’t something he could strong arm the rest of the way. He was forced to look over the outside well, finding any weakness. Yet, it had been designed specifically to hold a Yautja.

Noise to his right had been side stepping the door and looking down the hall. A trip of oomans rounded a corner, deep in talk. White lab coats hung off of one of them. Others were dressed in pastel color of clothing. A brow arched from underneath his mask as he watched the three of them walk towards him. But, he wasn’t alert to them finding him.

All of them stopped at the door he once stood at.

“We’ve only been able to recently touch him with the mother nearby. Or else he’ll claw and bite everyone,” one said and rubbed a wrapped up portion of his arm. “I don’t know about either of you, but I’d rather not take another swing from the little twit.”

Mother? Was the hybrid young? And these oomans had taken a child and its mother.

Fire raced through his veins. A growl threatening to alert the oomans right in front of him.

One of them raised a plastic card up to the key pad. It beeped at the touch before the door opened up. The angle didn’t allow him to see inside the room.

But the smell. A smell he’d thought to never scent again hit him hard. Idiotic of him, he froze up long enough for the door to shut after the oomans entered. He had to close off his throat to stop a deep growl from erupting. It was his duty to get into that room.

It felt like he was a unblooded all over again, patient worn out long ago. The muscle of his jaw so tight it felt like it was cramping. His eyes never left the doorway, ears trying to listen in but found the walls too thick for him to hear through. Everything in him wanted to bust down the door to get inside. Who knows what those scum of oomans were doing.

The tension in his muscles turned complete rigid when the door slid back open. His body acted before his mind could complete a thought. Dai rushed forward and snatched the lab coat ooman up by the neck. She tried to scream for her life but he pinched off any access to air. Her face already turning to a shade of red he loved oomans to wear.

He entered the space still holding onto the soft meat. She squirmed and kicked at him, anything to get free from his grasp. The door shut behind him and locked him into the room that was filled with the scent of terror.

And yours.

A mixture that reeked. The Yautja growled lowly in his chest before plucking the ID card off of her. She could barely make a noise, face beet red. Dai’stbaen dropped the defenseless ooman back down onto the ground. She crumbled to the floor and choked and gasped for air. He barely gave her a glance and strode over to your trembling, slacken jaw form.

You never once thought to see this beautiful creature again. Not a single moment in your life. But, here stands Dai’stbaen in all of his glory. Biomask covering his features but you could feel the heat of his eyes on you. He marched over to you and ate up the space between the two of you. He fell to a knee and reached out to your chained form.

Metal wrapped painfully around your throat and hands. They attached to a bolt in the concrete wall. No ooman could break out of something with pure strength alone. Dai’stbaen lifted up the chain and felt its weight. Nothing to him but to you, red marks had been rubbed raw into your soft skin. A scowl hidden by his mask.

As if you saw a god, you reached up and brushed your fingers against the coolness of the metal of his face covering. A face you desperately wanted to see.

“Dai?” you croaked out in voice devoid of water for so long. You looked so lost, long without hope to fill your fierce eyes. The male himself was speechless. Why in the stars were you here? In a facility he was looking for a hybrid. He cupped your jaw in a massive hand, fingers curling around the back of your head. His thumb graced over your pronounced cheek bone. Your eyes had sunken in. The skin dark and lifeless underneath him.

This wasn’t the vision of how he left you. You had been curled up against him, soft, gentle features at peace. The marks that marred your skin. His eyes darted down to the bite mark he left in the heat of the moment. Had these scums taken you all because of a bite? Surely, they wouldn’t notice anything off with such a bite?

Clattering of metal skirting across the concrete floor snapped him back into his hunter mode. His head whipped around. One of the other oomans had discovered him, coming around a partition. Before the man had time to react, Dai was a red blur across the room. His hand curled around his throat and brought the person to him. You watched as Dai choked the unsuspecting man out until he no longer moved. He was released and flopped down onto the ground. His chest slowly rose and fall.

The person in the lab coat was able to regain her composer, head tilted up. Her dark eyes were trained on Dai. An accusing finger pointed at him. “You-“ she coughed “-can’t hurt me. Can’t hurt any of us,” she bit out in a nasty tone that twisted your gut. There was nothing you could do, still chained up to the wall. Your face morphed with anger. You pulled on the chain but it only rattled at the move.

Dai’stbaen didn’t stop marching towards her on the ground. She scrambled backwards and even kicked his shin. Yet, he didn’t even flinch at the strike. He bent at the waist and picked up the struggling woman with a single arm. Your jaw slackened again at the remind of how strong he is. The memories of the last night with him resurfacing at the wrong moment.

Not a word or sound utters from his vocal cords. One arm wraps around her neck and hold strong. Blood and air is restricted to her brain. It doesn’t take long for her to drop to the ground, chest slowly rising and falling.

Once the issue is solved, he strides across the limited space again. They weren’t dead. You were thankful he hadn’t killed them in front of you, knowing he could pull such a thing. Dai’stbaen returns to his position in front of you. A claw hooks into the unforgiving chain wrapped around your wrists. For a government facility, they didn’t have good restraints. Maybe… they weren’t thinking about capturing prisoners.

Not like yourself, at least.

His mask stares at the chains for a moment. Then, with both of his hands, he grips it at two different sections and pulls. The metal groans under his pure strength before easily giving way with a snap. The end hangs from your neck and pulled on the tender areas. Next, Dai’stbaen worked on your wrists in the same manner. He had left a tail end, unable to get so close to you.

Your legs strained to lift yourself off of the unforgiving, dull grey floors. The muscles have gone weak after the lack of use and proper food.

Before you could make it, Dai’stbaen easily scooped you up into his arms. His warmth easily washed over your numb frame. The air in the room was cool. It kept you shaking nearly all the time. They never offered a blanket or something.

He was able to transfer you to one arm holding you to him. His free hand grabbed the ID card he had snatched earlier. The male walked over to the closed door.

“Wa-it!” you hissed when he attempted to leave. Your body squirmed in his hold. Dai’stbaen grunted and pinned you to his warm body. “We can’t le-ave!” Austin. Tears were brought to your eyes at the thought of your son. You used a hand to pull on one of Dai’s tresses and directed him over to the partition.

Dai could smell another ooman and something else.

Your feet touched the cool concrete again. The strength in your legs was long gone and forced you to sit down. His gaze was set on what he could see around the partition’s edge. He stalked over then froze for a moment. In another flash, he lunged forward. You decided to stay where you were when you heard a thud smack. Another person choked out. Alive.

Soft, nearly silent footsteps alerted to Dai coming back. When he appeared around the corner, you scrambled to get to your weak legs.

In his arms was the limp body of Austin. “No!” you cried but unable to find the strength. After so long of fighting, you had lost the will. Even at the sight of your son limp in front of you. Tears brimmed the edges of your eyes as you clawed at Dai’stbaen. As if you could climb him to get to Austin. “Please, no.” Your whimper cracked at his own heart.

What had they done to him?

It was your reaction that had the dots clicking inside of his head. You… Oh, by Paya’s will! His eyes widened underneath the mask, muscles turning taunt. The hybrid… it was his. The red scales, mandibles, the tresses. Dai’stbaen could’ve smacked himself for how stupid he had been. How could’ve he not even thought of the possibility?! But… the idea was next to impossible.

Here it was though. In his arms. Softly breathing. The mother clawing at him, eyes balling with tears. Dai’stbaen knelt down in front of the ooman he’s come to know. You instantly tried to tug him out of his arms but it was nothing compared to his strength.

“Austin, honey. Oh god, no. Anything but him!” you sobbed and rushed your hands all over him. He was still warm. The first thing you notice; slightly taking you out of your panic. Then, your finger pads found a gentle pulse. Your saneness slowly coming back as you realized Austin was alive. You gave another sob. This time of relief. Your arms wrapped around him the best you could then slowly looked up at the Yautja.

The mask may hide all of his features… but you felt the heat of his stare. You pulled away and straightened your back, eyes casting downward. Not once did one of your hands leave Austin.

“Yeah,” you choked out and buried yourself into your shoulders. You didn’t know how he was going to react to all of this. Even yourself didn’t want to believe the pregnancy for the first six months.

His arm underneath Austin’s knees snatched the forearm closest to him. Dai leaned in close to you that your foreheads nearly touched. Your heart began to thunder loudly.

“Child? We have… child?” Words so unsure of the reality of everything. A feeling you felt so long ago in the beginning of all of this. You had been alone, terrified. To this day, you still are. Even before they had found out about Austin and yourself.

More tears stained your cheeks. “Yeah,” you sniffled with a nod. His hand twitched for a moment before letting you go. Instead, you carded your fingers through his, nails biting the back of his hand. “We do. I-I didn’t k-now how to-to tell you. You were… gone.” Words so important to you unaffected him. For the most part.

A huff left the alien. His head turned towards the door. The weight of the situation slammed down on you once again. Escape. This was your chance for escape. You couldn’t walk though. The battle had long left you after a lesson well learned. His hands were full with Austin.

You let go of his hand pushed at him. If one must be saved, it had to be Austin. Your son over yourself. “Go! Bef-ore they find out. T-take him to-to safety, please,” you pleaded with the male, face wet and sticky from the constant tears.

Dai snorted and scooted Austin more onto one shoulder. With his other arm, he wrapped it around your torso. One show of strength had you tossed over onto the other shoulder. A pained grunt surge past your lips when you landed harshly on your stomach. The birth had always left you scarred permanently. Then, the Yautja was on his feet and quickly stalking towards the door.

The stolen keycard was used to open the door and revealed an empty hallway. He peered out to look both ways before stepping out. Years of training aided him. His feet light despite the added weight of two people on him. Yet, he had noticed how much lighter you were compared to when he last held you up. Something twisted in the pit of his stomach. A need to end the lives for those caused harm to you.

There were more important things to worry about for now. Safety for one.

Like a skilled hunter, Dai’stbaen was able to slip out of the complex with little difficulty. The cloak had been rendered useless. He was forced to rely on strict listening and awareness of his surroundings.

Fresh air on your skin was heaven sent. You lifted yourself up with just enough strength to prop yourself up on his shoulder. The outside world was something you hadn’t seen in a long time. You could cry at the sight. For so long.

The Yautja carried you a long way. Not once did he stop for a break or rest. Like a freight train, he continued to move. The sway of his gait nearly had you passing out, ready to succumb to a sleep you weren’t petrified to never wake up again.

A familiar sight peered through the trees. The ship. Oh god, you were really free. Dai’stbaen had come for you to save the two of you.

How did he know? Words you wanted to ask him but your energy was dwindling faster than you could stop it. The realization of safety had you finally drifting in and out of light sleep.

The feeling of scales against your belly had your eyes flickering open. You groaned and found yourself on your back, looking up at the familiar face of Dai’stbaen. His biomask long gone at this point. The only upper mandible twitched when his bright yellow eyes found yours. A hand cupped at your cheek, thumb running over your pronounced cheek bone.

“Thank you,” you whispered in a hoarse voice. Water was instantly brought to your lips in the form of a waterskin. Every drop you took then licked at your cracked lips.

Something akin to anger swirled bright in his fierce eyes. His mandibles tightened over his mouth, nails creating divots in your skin. “You stay. With me,” he demanded.

Free from the mask, his voice was clear and crisp in the protection of his room. A space you had shared with him for that month.

Your brows jumped up towards the ceiling. How was that going to work? Humans… they don’t survive outside of earth’s atmosphere. And the creatures he hunts. They would think of you as a snack. Easy pickings. A full bottom shiver wrecked your poor frame.

“How’s… that going to work?” you asked, not opposed to leaving your life behind. All of your friends and family had been pushed away when Austin had been born. Your job must of fired you. Your apartment was probably been cleaned out. Everything you once knew was gone. All besides your child and his father.

His next words were thought over carefully. “You are ooman, weak and frail. Yes. But, I protect you. Like you protected me. We have child. He learn Yautja ways. Be hunter,” he explained to the best of his knowledge in English. Your eyes widened. He wants Austin to be like him.

Austin. Your head whipped about before Dai’stbaen caught it and directed your attention to your side. There laid your sleeping kid. He had curled up on his side, facing you. At peace.

You licked at your cracked lips and gaze back towards Dai’stbaen. “I named him Austin,” you said to him. Something flashed in his eyes, but he kept silent.

Everything he said though, you couldn’t completely disagree on. From the fact your life was ruined, to the fact Austin was different. It took so much to reel him in from going out the front door. Or, he loved to climb up on to of the cupboards. Even when he very young.

A hunter at his core.

“He’s got you heart.” You smiled at him, stars sparkling in your eyes. Then, you bowed your head and played with your hands on the blankets. “I… I agree with you. I can’t go back. And, I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel terrible that I’m probably not taking care of him right.” You peered at Dai from underneath your lashes. “I need your help.”

With his hands on your cheeks, he tugs you in a little closer. His forehead presses to yours in a soft gesture. “I help. We raise together.” Your eyes closed. You embraced the warmth blooming in your chest.

The tension in your chest loosen. You could finally breath normally again.

[risuola]

TOO MUCH — F. READER x GOJO SATORU

Lately, it felt like not a second pass by without some new curse appearing somewhere in Japan and both you and Satoru had your hands full of work for few weeks, but when he comes back home, exhausted to the bone, his composure snaps and he unloads his frustration on you.

cw: angst, verbal abuse, hurt/little comfort, mentions of blood and hurt, reader is injured, mental exhaustion — 2,5k words

Too much. Too much of everything that piled up on Satoru's shoulders, weighing him down so heavily that he almost couldn't breathe. It felt like the world was on fire, curses crawling out of every shithole in Japan, most of them first or special grade, spreading nothing but death and chaos. So many people killed, so much blood and pain he had witnessed in the last few weeks, it drowned him in exhaustion and helplessness. Satoru Gojo, the strongest sorcerer alive, and yet he felt so helpless in the current situation. He traveled from town to town, fighting these terrors, but the lives that had been taken away, he couldn't bring back, and he used to think that he was immune to it already. Turns out, one can never be immune enough.

You had your hands full with work as well, but you stayed in Tokyo. The situation drained your energy too, the cascading waves of sadness and sorrow made you feel like you couldn't think straight, but you pushed through. You felt so weak, but had to be strong, everyone had to be. All of your sorcerer friends were just as engaged in the fight as you were, just as tired and distressed, but the show must go on, as they say.

You and Gojo weren't officially a couple, though everyone knew you were together. You were friends, yes, the kind of friends who kiss and have sex. The kind of friends that use pet-names and fall asleep while cuddling naked. Shit, you lived together for a few months, you know everything about him and he knows just as much about you. And you were happy, sharing every moment. He always said that you bring him so much comfort, that he feels like he can be openly himself when he's with you and be accepted for it. Nothing could ever bring you more joy than the man you love feeling comfortable with you.

That being said, it wasn't the best time for your relationship slash situationship. He was more out of the house than in it, and you were just sleeping there, barely. It's been going on for a few weeks already, and it's just now it’s beginning to finally calm down. Few weeks of constant fighting for everyone involved in the jujutsu world, but it started to slow down. So you knew that Satoru would finally return home.

It's when you showered and put on your pajamas that you heard the keys twisting in the lock and the doors opening. Putting on a smile, you rushed to welcome Gojo home, but the moment you saw him, you knew he's extremely exhausted.

Satoru entered the house already annoyed by the conversation he had with Gakuganji a few moments before. That old fart had the audacity to nag him about his methods while he himself was sitting in his cave sipping green tea, not caring one bit that the world was drowning in curses and blood. He threw the keys on the shelf, kicked off his shoes and took off the blindfold, then looked at you, all clean and comfortable in your pajamas. He scoffed quietly.

He felt like his own body was falling apart, everything hurt, his head was pounding, his eyes were burning. Even though he was actively healing himself, the side effects of everything were getting to him. A few weeks of nonstop fighting, of domains, of reds, blues, and purples, and so much physical combat had left him hanging on the last thread of his composure. The usual mask of cheerful carelessness long gone.

Suddenly he wished he could enter the empty house, throw away his clothes, collapse on the bed dirty and just fall asleep, but he couldn't. You were there. And there was never a time in the past when he wouldn't be absolutely overjoyed to come home to you. Even when tired, he wanted nothing more than your arms around him. But not right now.

"Satoru, hey," you greeted him, keeping your voice soft and on the quiet side. You knew him so well, you could see how fatigued he was and frankly, you couldn't blame him. Being the strongest had its downsides, one of which was being very much in demand, and sadly, no one could take his place. "You're exhausted, huh?"

"Look at you, so damn perceptive," he snapped harshly, his eyes cold and empty as he looked down at you. He walked past you to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Are you hungry? I can make you someth-“

"No, just shut up, you cannot make me fucking anything," once again, his tone was cold as he snarled at you. It was the first time so much cyanide spilled out of his mouth and he just barely opened it. At first you tried to understand it. Things had been really draining lately and you knew he was angry because he was tired, but it hurt nonetheless.

"Alright," you sighed, deciding it's best not to get deeper into the conversation when he's so argumentative. "Do as you wish, get some rest, Satoru."

"You know, why instead of telling me what the hell to do, you just don't leave my house, huh?", Shut up Gojo, he screamed at himself subconsciously. "Why are you even here anyway?" Shut. Up. " All comfy when I'm constantly on the job?"

"I know you're tired, Satoru, but I've been on missions too. I'm tired too," you looked at him in defeat, unable to keep the smiley mask on. There was so much wrong in this situation, so much anger being thrown at you for no reason whatsoever, and you had every right in the world to be just as angry as he was, but you just chose not to. You wanted to welcome him home with warmth, comfort him, and keep him up even if you felt down. You wanted to soothe his aching body when yours hurt just as much. Or worse. You were badly injured during the last few battles, but Shoko had her hands so full, you told her you could wait, and you hid all those wounds from Gojo's eyes so as not to worry him.

"'Yeah, your little missions,'" he bit, and your brows furrowed at the sound of his words.

"What does that even mean?" you asked, slowly feeling the heat of anger coursing through your veins. "I'm first gra-"

"I don't care what you are. You're still nothing to me. I deal with real shit, not those..."

You slapped him. Or at least you tried, your hand stopping just short of his face, and it surprised you to realize his limitless was still on, even though he was home already. He was still in fight-or-flight mode, still feeling threatened enough to keep his defensive techniques activated.

"Just what do you think you're fucking doing?" he growled, taking your wrist into his grip, the squeeze shooting shockwaves of pain through your nervous system. "Did my words hurt you? Did the truth hurt you so badly that you thought you could actually hit me?", his tone had a taunting undertone, and when you looked into his blue eyes, you saw nothing but cold. "Funny little thing."

"Let go, Satoru."

"Oh, I will. And when I do, you'll get your useless ass out of here. I'm not your boyfriend, we just fuck, we're not in a goddamn relationship for you to be here all the time. I need my space."

Gojo hated every word that fell out of his mouth, but now he couldn't take them back or erase them, and he didn't exactly know how to act now that he had said them. Immediately, he let his limitless inactivate, hoping you'd want to slap him again. Shit, he'd even accept a kick in the balls, but you remained silent, just looking at him. He could tell by the way your eyes glistened in the sharp artificial light of his kitchen that there were tears threatening to come out, but you didn't cry. Your jaw clenched for a moment and you lowered your hand.

"Right," you exhaled deeply, feeling the hurt burn your heart and soul. The smoke of sadness already flowing through your veins, your cells, your mind. "You're right, we're not. Here," you performed a theatrical swing of your arm, displaying the interiors to him, "your fucking space. I'll let myself out."

"Y/n..." he tried, but you were already in the room, changing from your pj's to sweatpants. He stayed in the kitchen, hoping you'd just jump into bed and maybe cry about it all, and he'd just come back later and comfort you when he wasn't mad anymore, but it didn't go that way.

Once he saw you again, you were heading towards the door.

"Y/n stay, don't be silly, stop," he tried to grab you, but you slapped his hands away.

"What, does the almighty, fucking honored one wish to add something to his oh-so-wonderful speech?"

"No, I'm sorry, stay," he took your hand forcefully, pulling you into his chest, but you fought back, not wanting anything to do with him right now. He had said too much. You knew it was all driven by his exhaustion, but it was far too much.

"No, Gojo, I don't want to stay here. I'm more than pleased to leave you in your space. There's no damn reason for you to share your precious air with such a useless nothing."

"No, no, please," he begged, his anger slowly being overtaken by panic. The sound of his last name felt cold and unfamiliar as it rolled off your tongue. "I'm sorry, please stay. I didn't mean it. Fuck, I didn't mean any of it."

"Please, take your hands off me," you told him more quietly. You were tired and now emotionally drained as well. All you wanted from this evening was to cuddle up with him to sleep. To bask in his warmth, knowing he's safe and home, to feel his skin against yours, to breathe him in. But no.

"No, I won't," he lowered his head and buried his face in your neck. "Please, I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean it, I'm just so tired. I feel dead, there has been so much fighting and pain and suffering and death all around me these past few weeks. I'm sorry, y/n," his voice faded to whisper as he rambled against your pulse.

"Gojo..."

"I don't think you're useless or nothing. Fuck, what have I done" he was spiraling slowly into a panic attack. You could feel his heartbeat getting hectic, his breathing uneven, and his grip on you so tight it hurt. "I am nothing without you. Please stay."

"Gojo."

"I love you," he whispered, his tone breathless, and at first you thought you had heard him wrong. He had never told you that. Not even once. "I love you so fucking much, please. Slap me, kick me, punch me in the dick, I don't care. Just don't leave me. I'm so sorry."

"Satoru, please, it hurts..."

"Hurts?", he froze. What hurts? Did he hurt you? The thought frightened him, not only did he insult you for no damn reason and now he caused you pain? As if burned, he let go of you completely, raising his hands as if he wanted to keep them in sight so you knew he wouldn't hurt you anymore. "I'm sorry."

"I've been fighting for these weeks, too. I'm tired too. I would never compare myself to you, but I gave it my all, too," you exhaled deeply. "And I know you're exhausted, Satoru. So please go to bed and get some sleep. I'll just go home."

"Here is your home, with me."

"Here?", you briefly looked around. It was a place you loved because it was filled with him. It was where your heart wanted to be when you felt safest and happiest, but now... "Suddenly I feel like an intruder here. I feel like I shouldn't be here."

"No, please don't say that. Listen, y/n, love," he dropped to his knees, took your hands in his and kissed the tops of them gently and tenderly. "Please, stay with me. I'm an idiot. But I love you. And I need you here, I need you in my life. I want you by my side."

"So, what do you want us to be? You said we're just fucking. God, I thought we were at least friends, if not a couple, but..."

"I want us to be everything. I want you to be my friend, my partner, my lover, my wife and my entire world."

You sighed. Deep and slow, pushing the air out of your lungs, letting your whole body deflate as you took his hands and pulled him up.

"Go take a shower and come to bed. You need to sleep it off. I need to rest too."

Obeying, Satoru rushed to the bathroom and you made sure to lock the doors, turn off the lights and took the time to change back into your pajamas. Sitting on the bed, you finally felt the tears running down your face. They brought you some relief and you let them flow freely, desperate to get it out of you before Gojo came back. It pained you how wrong the evening went and you wondered if there was anything you did to cause it, but no. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve it. And you should leave him there alone, just as he wished for. Then why were you still here?

"Please don't cry," his long arms wrapped around you from behind, enveloping you in his warmth. The light sweet scent of his body wash pleasantly filled your airways and it's out of habit that you leaned into him. "Will you ever forgive me?" he asked, gently wiping the tears from your cheeks. Slowly, he laid you down on the pillows and took his usual place beside you.

"I will," you sighed, already feeling the discomfort. "But please, let's change sides."

Satoru didn't understand at first, but he did what you asked anyway. When he saw you exhale in relief as you turned to the other side, his brain clicked. Moving his hands in the most delicate way possible, he lifted your shirt a little, revealing the many layers of bandages, already tinged with red that was seeping through them slowly.

"God, you're wounded. That's what was hurting you when I held you... I had no idea why you didn't tel-, ah, because I was being an asshole, right," he sighed.

"Yeah, I wasn't going to tell you anyway. I'm fine, just Shoko had her hands full, so I told her I'd wait a day or two. It's just a scratch, really," you told him, fixing your shirt. "Please, let's get some sleep, okay? We'll talk about it all later."

"I love you," he whispered, pulling you to his chest and planting a kiss on the top of your head. It was only now that he could feel his body relax, with you right next to him, your heartbeat syncing with his own, and all of your loving aura filling his body. And he realized that the words he never had the balls to say out loud to you now felt natural, rolling off his tongue. "I love you so much."

"You idiot," you sighed, closing your eyes and slowly melting into his form. "I love you too."

[floatyflowers]

Hey girl! Do you have any plans for a part 3 for the dark Sauron x Celebrimbor's daughter?

Part 2

The moment you held your daughter in your arms, you could feel a heavy weight being lifted off of your shoulders.

But worry returns as soon as you remember that Sauron is standing beside you, staring down at you and his newborn daughter.

"Have you chosen a name for her?" Annatar asks, moving his finger towards the baby before gently patting her right cheek.

"Amatírë" you reply with the chosen elven name.

"Perfection" Sauron states the meaning of the name, with a small smirk.

"I need to see my father now" you argue sternly, trying to get up from bed.

The Maia grabs you by the shoulder to keep you in your place.

"I believe it's better that you rest, as Celebrimbor is not in his right state of mind, my dear" 

You believe Sauron immediately, thinking that the rings made your father lose his sanity, not knowing that it is Sauron who is deceiving you.

"Eregion is under attack, I need to do something, I can't let my people suffer!"

"Your father has put me in charge of Eregion, you don't believe I would harm our daughter's homeland, do you?"

You know that those words are only spoken with deceit, ready to show his true colours if you dare to argue.

"No, a father only wishes the best for his child" you repeat the same words your father once said to you.

Sauron smiles, his finger slowly and gently tracing his daughter's cheek.

Amatírë slowly opens her eyes to reveal the same golden eyes, similar to those that belonged to her father in his original form.

The only difference is the innocent light in your daughter's eyes.

"She is beautiful and pure like her mother." 

Those are the only truthful words Sauron has spoken with his eyes filled with something else.

A glimpse of nostalgia for how he was once pure and innocent like his daughter before Morgoth corrupted him using torturous tendancies.

°°°°°°°

You have been wandering for days after you left you homeland when you saw the dead body of your father with a spear in his stomach.

Your daughter is protectively slinged around your chest, you feel pain and exhaustion but you kept being strong for Amarítë. 

Also your elven ears are hidden under your hair in fear that someone might discover your identity.

As for Amarítë's ears, the back of her head is hidden under a cloth.

Once you reach the gates of Númenor, the guards brings you to the son of Ar-Pharazôn, Kemen.

"What do we have here?" 

You stay silent as the young man examines you from head to toe, realising that you look noble, and your features are flawless and divine.

Not like any human woman he has seen before in his life.

"I came to seek refuge from the king of Númenor as my home was destroyed by the Orcs, and I have heard that Ar-Pharazôn is Just and kind"

This is a clear lie, but you need to pass and sweetened words is going to do that for you.

"Are you perhaps married?" 

You acknowledge the way Kemen is staring at you, which made your skin crawl in disgust. 

"My husband has been slaughtered by the Orcs, my lord." You lie.

"Then my father would never refuse to help those who are truly in need."

You smile warily and place your hands on your daughter's back, as Kemen leads you into Númenor.

How sad that you don't know that Númenor is Sauron's next destination.

[hoe4sports]

Guardian angel

Leah Williamson x Alessia Russo x child

A note from the author: Another glimse into the universe of musli.

Warning: Angst? Night terrors? Boys??

Summary: You try to start kindergarten, but Leah comes to a realisation.

-

You can feel your heart beaming in your chest. The beats are hard, almost painful. It feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest, and run away to a place of safety. A place that you have yet to find. You stand behind the corner of the hallway scared to peek out while Alessia and Leah is arguing. You had woken up hearing them argue. Their voices angry, both filled with rage. Your worst nightmare had cometrue. You made the two women hate each other. The only fosterhome you had felt somewhat safe in, was falling apart because of you. You remeber how your foster brother, Sebastian, would tell you that his parents was splitting up because of you. It makes your tiny hands tremble. You felt a gulp in your throat, but at the same time it was screaming for water. Tears linger in your eyes before you violently try to rub them away. You swallow a sob terrified to bring attention to yourself.

“I hate you! I hate her! Why do we even let her stay?!” Leah yells after Alessia who moves to stand behind the couch in the middle of the room.

“Stop being a bitch about it, we can just get rid of it!” Alessia hurries back at Leah.

Leah frowns.

“Oh, now, NOW, I know i understand! Where is she? Where is the problem??!”

They both turn to look at you as you tumble out of your hiding spot. You dont understand why you end up tumbling out from your hiding spot. Leah laughs in a way that immediately makes you want to cry. She sounds like one of the evil stepmothers on the princess movies.

“You! You are the problem! Y/N, come here! You are leaving now! Out!” Leah scream at you before they both start chasing you down the hallway.

Your feet picks up and you run as fast as you can before you reach the guest room that you remind yourself are only borrowing. Everything feels like a blur. Your hands try to cling to the door in an attempt to unlock it. But you can’t get the door open. It seems stuck. Your hands arent strong enough. You try as hard as you can. But it won’t budge. Not even when you use all the force in your body.

You turn around to face the two women who are slowly creeping up on you. They have devilish looks on their faces, and you cry hysterically in panic.

“Please, Please, Mrs.Alessia, I’ll leave! I promise, don’t hurt me!”

You cry back, but they won’t listen. They just keep their scary smiles plastered on their faces while slwly moving towards you. You don’t know what to do. Alessia’s eyes look kind of black, you notice. It scares you even further. You scream as the pair of them comes up close to you with the most intense smiles you have ever seen. You close your eyes in terror as you scream and cry. The panic sets in.

“Mommy!! I want mommy! Mommy, please, please! Please, come get me mommy! Don’t hurt me please, I’m-I’m gonna be good, I promi-

That’s when you feel a pair of hands on your shoulders, you can feel a sensation of someone shaking you gently. It startles you. You jerk in shock. You feel out of breath. Your hands are clinging to your eyes, terrified to open them.

“Y/N? Love, it’s okay. It’s just a dream”

Just a dream, you think. You are not sure if you believe it. You open one of your eyes slowly and see Alessia hunched down next to you on the carpet. Your body is feeling sweaty, and you are exhausted. Every part of your body feels tense. Leah is standing in the doorway with a sad look on her face while giving you a sad smile.

You look at Alessia with panic in your eyes. The realisation has hit you, you woke them up.

“I’m-I’m so sorry Mrs.Alessia, I didn’t mean too. Plea-Please, don’t send me away. I’ll be good, I’ll be quiet, I pinky promise” you sob as you wobble your lower lip.

Alessia sends you a sad, but comforting look before opening her arms to you. “It was just a nightmare, angel. We are not mad at you, not ever.”

This happens again and again. You have nightmares that won’t go away. You worry that they will get tired of it, tired of spending time comforting you, tired of being woken up by screaming. But she dosent get tired. She does this every night, hold her arms open. Secretly, she hopes for the day you will hug her back. To allow yourself to be a little girl. Because that’s what you are. Just a little girl that needs love.

Musli always follows them into the room when you cry. He always falls asleep next to you, and when you are sound asleep; he retrieves to get food and cuddles before he comes back for the night. He stands next to Alessia, and he purrs while bonking his head at her. You look at them. You remember what your mom always said about cats. If a cat trust someone and like them, then they are good people that you can trust. Cats are better at judging peoples charater.

You don’t know why, but one night you throw yourself to her. You hold on to her like she is the last flotie and you are in the middle of the ocean. Alessia silently hushes you while holding you tight and rocking you gently back and forth. Her hand resting on the back of your head while walkin gback and forth. It feels nice. Almost safe. Like one of the mommy hugs you would get when you hurt your toe outside. But you never dare to hug her back. Feelings come rushing down your throat, and you feel a sob sneaking out of your body. Then you cry, and cry and cry and cry until eventually pass out in exhaustion.

The following mornings follows the same rhythms. Night terrors in the middle of the night. Alessia and Leah takes turns in holding you and comforting you. You pass out from crying. Then, you wake up in your new bed with musli licking your face. Using his loud purrs, he tries his best to soothe you. He is always calm. It makes you wonder if this place might be safe.

You stumble out of your bedroom feeling frightened that your new foster moms might have left you alone for the day. It’s not unusual, plenty of families used to leave you alone. Claiming you were a big girl. But, your new guardians are always at the kitchen, always waiting for you with a warm breakfast. At first, you thought it was just for show. Like when your old fosters would dress you up all nice and give you a shower before your social worker would arrive. But by each day that goes, the care feels less than just for show. For a split second, you believe that perhaps someone might care about you.

You aren’t old, just four. Four fingers. All of your fingers except for your thumb. Just four. You already know you can’t trust anyone. People always turn on you, but that’s okay. It is because you always misbehave. But your last foster family would leave you alone for hours upon end if you misbehaved. Misbehaving would be things like not get yourself up in time, eat too much, make noise or complain. It scared you to the point of shaking, you never wanted to misbehave. There was always so many rules at every new house, and it was hard to know what rules belonged to what house. It was confusing. You wish you could write, that way you could note down the rules. But you can’t even spell your name. Because you are just four.

In your last family, you weren’t allowed to pet the dog. You weren’t even allowed to touch the dog. But here, at Leah and Alessia’s house; Musli gets to sleep in your bed. He even sleeps next to you after Leah and Alessia has said goodnight and you crawl to lay on the big carpet. It’s nice, you decide. It feels like somewhat of a routine. You think you like that. If things are predictable, then you won’t misbehave, and then they won’t kick you out.

But this morning; it’s different. When you wake up, you see Alessia. She is gently shaking you to wake you up, but you feel scared. You instantly shoot up thinking that you did something wrong. That you might have misbehaved in your sleep.

“I-I’m sorry, Mrs.Alessia. I’ll do better tomorrow, I pinky promise!” You beg as tears once again stream down your red cheeks. Your cheeks that are always painted with beautiful roses. The tears aren’t normally allowed at fosterhomes, so you wipe your eyes so hard that your vision becomes fuzzy. Because you cannot misbehave.

But Alessia isn’t angry. She smiles at you before tucking your hair behind your ear. She squats down, and seems like she is inviting you in for a hug. You haven’t had a proper hug for a long time, only the ones you get when you have nightmares. But, you barely remember them. The only hugs you’ve had from other than Alessia and Leah: was mommyhugs and daddyhugs. You decided that the hug from Alessia is a test, so you just look down into the ground hoping that you made the right choice. Because you are terrified to misbehave. To take up too much space. You worry about what your new moms are like when they are mad. A part of you thinks that they are gentle. Like if Leah and Alessia becomes upset with you, you think that they might let you have the bed. And if they take your bed away, you still have the soft carpet.

Alessia gives you a sad smile before sitting down on her knees. You give her your best smile while trying to silent your sobs. Alessia’s heart breaks into a million little pieces when she sees you, a four year old, trying to soothe herself. She can only hope for the day when you let them into your heart because she knows that you have already filled up theirs.

“We are going shopping for you today, love. We have the day off, and kindergarten is starting up soon”.

You look at them in confusion. First at Leah, then at Alessia. What things, you think. You feel worried, have you lost something? And why do you have to be sent away?

“But first, breakfast” Alessia encourages you, and you immediately go to find your special chair. This is a part of the routine that you know by heart. After breakfast, it’s the same routine too. You put your plate in the dishwasher, you go get whatever clothes you can find in your drawer and Leah helps you brush your teeth before Alessia does your hair. You decide that you like it. The routines. It makes you feel like you might be able to trust them. Like you can predict what will happen. When they pamper you, it feels like you are four years old and not some kind of mini adult.

-

When you get to the mall, it’s big. It’s much bigger than any place that you have ever been at. Alessia says that it’s called Westfield. You think it sounds fancy. Expensive. You feel scared once you realise that you do not have any money. You only have your little stuffie, Meow. He is the only thing you own and you hold him tight scared that he might be taken away from you.

Leah hops out of the car, and unbuckles you. The carseat they put you in feels soft and comfortable. Normally, your fosters never take you anywhere. You and Leah meet Alessia in-front of the car. It feels scary when you look around you. There are cars parked everywhere, and more people than you have ever seen before.

You look up at Alessia with a scared look on your face. She instantly squats down to your level.

“It can feel overwhelming to be here for the first time. That’s okay, Leah feels overwhelmed with going to the mall too.”

You look over at Leah who nods at you. It makes you smile shyly.

“Do you want to hold my hand?”

You look at Alessia before you nod. Holding hands. Normally, your foster family never lets you hold their hands. You decide to take advantage of the opportunity. Your mom would always hold your hand when going to the park. It’s a good memory. Perhaps you can go to the park with Leah one day.

You grab Alessia’s hand and look at Leah. You offer her to hold the paw of mr.meow that is safely in your left hand. She takes it, and it sneaks a slight giggle out of you. The giggle makes Alessia and Leah’s hearts flutter. It’s the first time they have heard you giggle.

-

You arrive at the store that your new foster moms have picked out for you to go to. At the front of the store, there are statues with clothes on them. You like the dresses that they are wearing. They are pink and with ruffles. It also looks like it’s a twirly dress, you used to love twirly dresses.

In the store, you don’t really know what to do. You never shop. People usually never get things for you. You just stand there with mr.meow in your hand looking around you. There are crying kids everywhere, it confuses you. Why are they allowed to leave the house if they cry? You decide that it’s because they got lucky with their parents than you.

“Here, what do you think about this dress?”

Alessia holds out a pink dress with hearts on it. It surprises you, but you look her way. You touch the fabric with your hands. It feels soft. You smile shyly and nod to Alessia. Leah immediately grabs it and puts it in the basket before you deny the gift.

“What about this skirt? Maybe with this top?”

Alessia holds out a skirt this time. It’s made out of the same material as your jeans, and it has sown in pink stars at the bottom. The top next to it is a sweater. It’s a white sweater with a little bow on the neckline. You nod.

This is how the whole shopping trips goes. They suggest something, and you nod. It’s not that you aren’t grateful, because you really are. You just don’t know how to tell them that you want something or not want something. Luckily, Alessia seems to know what little girls like to wear.

After walking through the clothes part of the store, you spot the toy department. It has a bunch of toys. Anything from teddies to trains to barbie dolls. Your eyes glides across the area, quickly scanning the toys.

Then you see it. You stop in your tracks. It’s a cupboard, a little taller than you in the shape of a house.It has doors and carvings, and windows. Inside the house is a series of mice from Maileg. Your eyes light up when you see them. It’s the same mice you got from your mom. She would collect them for you. You would call it your them your “little mouse”.

Alessia notices your sudden interest in the display, and takes a step towards it. Your feet follow along as you near the mice. You can see them. It’s all kinds of mice. Its a set with a mommy and daddy mouse in wedding outfit, it’s a kit with a wooden fridge filled with little realistic pieces of food, it’s a box shaped like a matchbox with three triplet baby mice in it. Then there is the princess mouse, she has atleast 10 mattresses. There is all kinds of accessories too. A kit with a bathing suit, swim giggles and beach towels. A circus kit with a circus ball and a clown. A mouse with a tent and binoculars. There are also clothes for the mice, and hangers for their clothes and beds and little furniture for the mice.

But at the corner of your eye, it’s a special box that catches your eye. It’s a teal box in the shape of a suitcase with gold dots and gold letters on it. Your right hand drop Alessia’s hand and left hand drops mr.meow who is still holding Leah’s hand. You eagerly open the box, and your hopes are confirmed. It’s a guardian angel mouse. Not just any kind, but the same kind your foster dad took away from you for not sharing it with your foster brothers. It’s the same kind your mom gave you to have in your backpack when you started nursery as a baby. You would also bring it to see your grandparents and when you went to the park. You open the box, and the same mouse that you had earlier is right in front of you. It has a pink dress, white wings and a little yellow halo. At the corner of your eyes, water is gathering. It makes you feel embarrassed, but also desperate. Desperate because you want it. You want it more than anything else in the whole world. Maybe not more than you want your mom and dad, but it’s a close call. You consider to put it in your pocket and take it. But that would be wrong. But you really want it.

Alessia and Leah seems to have catch on because Leah squats down next to you. She dries the tear that has escaped your eye.

“Take it, little miss. I’ll get it for you”

You look over at Leah. You want to smile and be happy, but you feel unsure. Is this a test? The mice is expensive. You know this because mommy told you so. She said it was lots of pounds for a tiny mice, that this was something you had to use your birthday wish to get it. But knowing your mom, she got it for you. Just like she knew you would need it one day.

“Maybe, it can be a birthday gift? Or Christmas gift? Or I can try to pay you back?”

You suggest out of desperation, not wanting to accept it without a play to repay them.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. We will get it for you. Is there anything else you would like to go with it?”

You look at the display, but shake your head. You only want the guardian angel mouse. The stupidly expensive mice with the little pink dress. Secretly, you want another mouse to keep it company. Maybe a little bed for them to sleep in, but you don’t wanna seem ungrateful.

“Thank you, Leah” you say as you choke a sob. You feel an overwhelming feeling of gratefullness. Grateful to be with Leah and Alessia. Grateful to have a memory of your mom. Grateful to be allowed a toy.

-

When you get home that day, you go through all your old clothes with Alessia. Leah had to go to buy groceries, so she isn’t helping out. Alessia lay your clothes out on the floor. It’s weird, you think. Your mommy would do the same thing. Your clothes aren’t much to brag about. Some of them have stains and others are too small. Some of them have holes and others are worn out.

The pieces of clothing are carefully sorted into piles before placed in bags. Your old clothes that are in decent condition gets put back into the dresser. Then, Alessia carefully folds your new clothes and place them into the dresser filling it up completely.

“All set for your big adventure tomorrow!” Alessia cheers at you. You feel confused.

“Am I being sent away? I just need a black bag and I-”

“No, we are not sending you away. We will never just send you away. Tomorrow, we are going to see your new kindergarten. Then, you will stay there for a few hours until we pick you up.”

“Uhm, why? Am i bad?”

“Me and Alessia will go back to work. Mondays and Thursdays, you will get to go to kindergarten to play with other kids. It will just be a few hours, I promise.”

Alessia confirms while carefully closing your drawers. You can’t help but feel scared that they will forget to pick you up.

“..oh”

You feel sad with the explanation. A part of you wonders why you can’t come with them to work. It feels safe to be with them at all times. That way, you can make sure to always be a joy to be around. However, if you aren’t there. You can’t keep track of what the adults are talking about. If they are talking about getting rid of you.

-

The next morning comes around, and soon enough you were standing inside of the kindergarten. You had been to kindergartens before, but your old foster parents forgot you there. There were plenty of kids. Some were crawling while others were running. There was even a girl in a wheelchair. Everyone seemed so happy busy playing with all the toys you could even dream of.

However, you don’t play with any of the toys. You had been placed at the little table next to the crayons and sheets to draw. But, you dont draw. You are just observing everyone around you. Everything around you. The buzz of the room is loud, and every know and then someone cries.

A young woman comes walking over to you, and sits down across for you. She has a name tag, and she is a grown up. She grabs a sheet and a pink crayon before she starts drawing. You look at her while she draws. You notice how she sticks her tongue out in concentration. Her hands are busy drawing at top speed. After a while, she turns the drawing around towards you.

“It’s a dandelion”

You take a look at it. Dandelions are yellow, you think. But you don’t dare to correct her. You nod while looking at her, your hand pressing the little mouse in your pocket.

“It’s pretty” you whisper back.

She smiles at you, but you don’t smile back.

“Do you want to help me color it in?” She suggests. Your eyes widen at the idea. Your mom would draw pictures for you to color in. You immediately nod, and she giggles before signing for you to come over to her side.

“Do you wanna sit on the chair?” She asks. You shake your head rapidly.

“Okay, do you want to sit on my lap?” You nod. That is what feels the safest. Not because you trust her, but because then she can’t leave you if you color outside of the lines.

You get handed a yellow crayon, and you carefully color inside the lines. Then, you grab the brown crayon, and color the middle. Eventually, you finish your Colouring. The woman lifts it up and smiles.

“You are an artist!” She cheers at you while rubbing your shoulders. You look down and blush.

After colouring, the group moves on to lunch. It smells like tomato sauce, it’s your favourite meal. You love tomato sauce, pasta and minced beef together. It was one of your childhood favourites, just like you mommy would make whenever you had a bad day.

A plate gets placed on the mat infront of you, and you get handed a fork. It’s like the one at home, the kids sized forks. It’s nice, it feels safe. But then you feel a wave of feelings hitting you. You tear up as your lower lip wobble, and you drop your fork in the heat of the moment. All the kids turn to look at you, and you feel terrified.

Your hand goes into your pocket, to hold your guardian angel mouse. It might give you some well needed soothing. But before you are able to hold it for long, a boy points to your mouse and screams something along the lines of “no toys at the table”.

The anxiety kicks in, and suddenly you launch yourself off your chair before sprinting into the warderobe hiding behind your jacket. You sit there and sob while an older woman tries to console you; but it dosent work. She tries to be gentle, but ends up feeling frustrated. When she asks you to place the mouse in your backpack, you cry harder and push your face towards the wall while the tears are streaming down.

Then, the young woman that helped you color takes over for the old woman. She sits down next to you; she dosent touch you, she dosent yell and she is whispering words of encouragement to you. After a while, you feel exhausted from crying and you start to fall asleep in your hiding spot. The woman gently touches your shoulder before scooping you up in her arms. You look at her, half awake with a puzzled look.

“Just sleep princess, I’ll call your parents”

-

Leah is out in physio when it happens. Her phone buzzes, and she stops the treatment on her knee to answer the call. She feels a lump in her throat when she hears the voice of the woman from the kindergarten, and she feels directly alarmed when she hears your sobs lingering in the background.

“I’ll be there in five, thank you for calling” she finishes before sprinting out of the session, not giving a care about the no running restrictions that she is on. Her feet takes her to the field where she immediately spots Alessia.

“Lessi, we have to leave! It’s y/n” she yells grabbing the attention of the whole group. Alessia’s eyes widen. Leah is never stressed. She only remember her being stressed when their cat disappeared for 24 hours. She knows that this is an emergency and she quickly releases herself from the resistance band that she has got herself hooked onto. The pair of the sprint to the car before speeding to the kindergarten, both women still in their kits.

By the time they pull up to the kindergarden, you are hysterically crying again. The pair of them practically abandon their car in the middle of the parking lot, they can already hear your cries through an open window. And the cries are heartbreaking. The girls share a terrfied look wondering what could possibly have gone wrong. Leah starts running towards the entrance getting a hand on the doorknob before Alessia catches up and holds her back by the shoulder.

"Lee, we have to be calm. She dosent need to see us worried or scared. I know you want to get to her, but we need to be calm." Alessia stressed at Leah. Leah crossing her arms over her chest before realising that Alessia was right. She takes a deep breath, trying her best to seem calm and collected.

"Let’s go get our girl" Leah says as she opens up the door to the kindergarden eyes immediately scanning the room to find you.

-

You are still sat behind your jacket, still crying. Nobody really knows what set you off, and you are not sure either. Perhaps its the overwhelming feeling of being one of 20 kids or perhaps its the lunch reminding you of your parents. The boy that called you out for having your mouse in your pocket, definitly played a part in it.

You arent sure why you feel like this, but when you see your fostermoms: you feel desperate . As Alessia is walking next to the teacher, Leah is practically jogging towards you. You only see her throught your tearsoaked eyes and reach your hands towards her begging for a sense of comfort. Leah's hands reach for you and scoop you up almost on autopilot.

Leah holds you tight as you sob leaning your head into her chest while your tiny hands are cluthing her shirt. She softly hushes you while bouncing you slowly back and forward in her arms. She whispers soothing words into the top of your head. The warmth of leah and the loud beating of her heart makes you feel sleepy. You yawn mid sob before falling asleep in Leah's arms.

"Leah, i can carry her. You need to be careful with your leg. Here, take her jacket instead." Alessia insists reaching her hands towards you. Leah instantly turns you away from Alessia feeling like you are too fragile to be removed. Leah dosent care that her leg hurts, she just cares that you are feeling safe.

"I'll carry her, shes my kid" Leah mumbles holding a hand on your head pressing it into her shirt while walking towards the exit. The only thing she can think of is how she wants to protect you. How she needs to make sure that you are safe. Alessia gives an apologetic look to the teacher before catching up with Leah. Alessia lays her hand on Leah's back.

“Leah, she isn’t ours. Not yet at least, and for all we know they might have a family for her” Alessia remind her sending shivers down Leah’s back.

"I dont care about laws and your opinion, im never letting her go back into another fosterhome. Or another home. Or to this stupid kindergarten. She’s coming with me to work. Im not asking, Alessia. Im telling you. She has been through enough in four years. She deserves the world, and I’ll give it to her. I’ll call the social worker first thing tomorrow.”

Leah holds you tight, sheltering your face from the wind. Alessia feels pride when hearing Leah speak about you, because Alessia wants to add you to their family too.

"Its okay Lee, we will find a way"

[novaursa]

i can has a sad request? Rhaenyra lose her only daughter to childbirth….

Marry the reader to aemond or cregan or jace but she will deliver a healthy boy. And the cost is her life. And Rhaenyra lose her mother because childbirth now she has to deal with her only daughter.

Heir to Grief

Requests are closed!

- Summary: You give birth to Jace’s and yours first child, but fate decided you would never see him grow.

- Paring: sister!reader/Jacaerys Velaryon

- Note: I've chosen Jace, because it makes this only more tragic.

- Rating: Explicit 18+

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround

The labor comes upon you like a storm. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, a wave of pain crashing against your body, relentless and powerful. You grip the sheets beneath you, the fabric soaked with your sweat. Your chambers are filled with the sounds of midwives rushing about, offering reassurances, though their words barely reach you. In the haze of agony, Jacaerys is beside you, his face pale, brow furrowed in worry. His hand tightly clutches yours, his knuckles white with the strain, as though he can take on some of your pain if he holds you tightly enough.

“Breathe, Y/N. You’re doing well, you’re strong,” he murmurs, voice trembling despite his effort to stay calm. You try to focus on him, on the sound of his voice, on the love in his eyes. Your brother, your husband, your Jace.

But the pain is all-encompassing, stealing your breath away. It feels as if your body is being torn apart from the inside. Another contraction surges, and you scream, unable to hold it in. The sound startles Jace, but he quickly steadies himself, brushing your damp hair from your face.

"You have to push now," one of the midwives instructs, her tone firm but kind. “The babe is coming.”

Your vision blurs with tears, but you nod. You have to do this. For his love growing inside of you, for the child who will be your and Jace’s firstborn. You feel a surge of resolve, even as your body strains and protests with every movement.

"That's it," Jacaerys whispers, his voice barely holding together. “He’s almost here.”

You push with all your remaining strength, a scream ripping from your throat as you feel the pressure begin to ease. Then, in a rush of warmth and wetness, the baby is born. His cries fill the room almost instantly, piercing through the fog of pain and exhaustion that clings to you.

“A boy,” the midwife announces with a tired smile, wrapping the child in soft blankets before placing him in your arms.

You stare down at your son, blinking back tears of relief and overwhelming love. His skin is warm, his little fists curling and uncurling as he cries out in confusion at the world he’s just been thrust into. He’s beautiful, with tufts of dark hair and the unmistakable eyes of a Targaryen. Your heart swells at the sight of him, and for a moment, everything else fades away.

Jacaerys leans in close, gazing down at the babe with wonder. He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, whispering, “You’ve done it, Y/N. He’s perfect.”

The baby in your arms stirs, his cries quieting as he nestles against your chest. You can feel Jacaerys’s hand trembling as he reaches out to touch the boy's tiny fingers. But then, you feel it—the coldness creeping into your limbs, the strange, sinking sensation deep in your stomach. Your vision swims, and you suddenly feel much too weak, the weight of your son growing heavier in your arms.

“Jace…” you manage to whisper, your voice thin and weak. "Something's wrong."

His eyes snap to your face, concern flooding them as he notices the pallor of your skin, the way your body seems to be trembling. "Y/N? What's—?"

The midwives are at your side in an instant, their hands moving quickly, their voices hurried. You hear them talking about the bleeding, too much bleeding. Panic rises in Jacaerys’s eyes, his grip on you tightening as if he can somehow anchor you to this world.

“No… no, no,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Y/N, stay with me. Please, stay with me.”

The world around you fades in and out. You can hear the baby’s soft whimpers, feel the warmth of Jacaerys’s hands on yours, but it’s all slipping away from you. Your body feels so cold now, so tired.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. You force yourself to look at him, wanting to hold on to the sight of his face, the man you love. “I… I love you, Jace. Take care of him… of our son.”

“No, don’t say that,” Jacaerys pleads, tears welling in his eyes. “You’ll be fine. You have to be fine. Please, Y/N… don’t leave me.”

But you can feel it. The life slipping from you, the darkness closing in. You want to stay, you want to fight, but your body is giving up, the blood continuing to flow no matter what the midwives do.

The last thing you see is Jacaerys’s tear-streaked face before everything goes dark.

Rhaenyra stands at the foot of the bed, staring down at your still form, her face frozen in grief. Her only daughter. Gone, just like that. She feels as though the world has ripped a part of her soul away, a pain she knows all too well. It’s the same pain she felt when she lost her mother.

“Not her…” Rhaenyra whispers, her voice shaking. “Not my daughter…”

She moves forward, her hands trembling as she reaches out to touch your cold cheek, but the reality of your death is too much. Tears spill from her eyes as she collapses beside your bed, her head bowed. “Why… why does the Mother take my own this way?”

Jacaerys stands at the other side of the bed, cradling the baby—your baby—in his arms, his face twisted with guilt and sorrow. He hasn’t spoken since you passed. He can’t. There’s nothing he could say, nothing that could undo what’s happened.

“It’s my fault,” he finally says, his voice broken. “I killed her. I asked too much of her. If I hadn’t—”

“Stop,” Rhaenyra snaps, though her voice is hoarse. She looks up at her son, her own heart breaking at the sight of his despair. “This wasn’t your fault, Jace.”

But he doesn’t listen. He can’t hear her through the weight of his guilt. He clutches the babe closer, his tears falling onto the child’s dark hair. “She’s gone… because of me.”

Rhaenyra reaches out, her hand resting on his arm. Her heart is shattered, but she knows she must be strong for him, for the child you left behind. “You have a son, Jace. Her son. You must live for him now.”

Jacaerys lowers his head, pressing a kiss to the baby’s brow, but it does nothing to ease the ache in his chest.

[p0orbaby]

Spring

summary: the biggest challenge you and Alexia have had to face

warnings: child loss, grief

a/n: this is pretty fucking sad so I’m sorry in advance

word count: 2.4k

-

It was written in the stars, you thought.

Aligned with the season of fresh starts and soft breezes. Sunny evenings and cups of tea sipped on the back porch as the birds sing their morning chorus.

Aurelia, golden like the sun. Silvio, strong and steady.

Either would be fine. Either would be perfect. As long as they had Alexia’s eyes and her determination to make the world a better place, you’d be happy.

The days leading up to the birth were a blur of last-minute tasks and impatient preparations. Nights were spent lying in bed, imagining the future. First steps in the garden, lazy Sunday mornings filled with laughter, and the simple joy of watching your child grow. Each conversation was a step further into the dream you both held dear for so long.

One evening, as the sky blazed with the colors of sunset, you and Alexia sat together outside. Garden chairs close and knees touching. The air was filled with the scent of blooming flowers, and the sounds of the neighborhood settling into the evening. You felt the world around you slowing down, relaxing.

As though the earth was taking a break just for the two of you.

One last moment of peace.

-

It was that night that there was a shift.

One you’d been waiting for for nine months.

You woke with a start, a sharp pain cutting through the haze of sleep. Alexia was beside you in an instant, her eyes wide with concern and excitement both. The contractions had begun, each one marking the imminent arrival of your baby. The room seemed to hum with anticipation as the two of you prepared to leave for the hospital.

The hospital bag finally picked up from its spot by the front door.

The drive was surreal, the world outside passing in a blur. Alexia held your hand, her grip reassuring as she whispered calming words to quell your nerves. The hospital loomed ahead, a beacon of hope and anxiety. Inside, the staff moved with practiced efficiency, guiding you through the steps with gentle encouragement.

Hours stretched into a timeless void, filled with the ebb and flow of labor. The pain was intense, but Alexia’s presence grounded you. Her voice, her touch, her unwavering support carried you through the toughest moments. The delivery room fizzed with activity, the air thick with expectation.

And then, the moment arrived. The baby’s first cries filled the room, a sound so pure and full of life that it brought tears to your eyes. The nurse placed your baby in your arms, and you looked down at the tiny, perfect face. Alexia leaned over, her green eyes shining with tears you wished to bottle for eternity.

A miracle. A door is yet to be opened and here lies new life.

Strong and steady. The sycamore trees in the garden will keep watch.

For a brief, fleeting moment, the world was perfect. Your hearts swelled with joy, your minds filled with visions of a future that seemed bright and boundless and exciting. The exhaustion, the pain, all of it was worth it for this precious new life cradled in your arms.

The world stopped turning.

Your baby’s cries grew weaker, then stopped altogether. The nurse’s smiles faded as one gently took the baby from your arms. The room, once filled with warmth and life, grew cold and sterile. You watched in stunned silence as doctors and nurses rushed in, their movements urgent and efficient and practiced, you realised.

Alexia’s grip on your hand tightened painfully, her eyes wide with fear. No one answered your unspoken questions, the minutes stretching into forever, the silence broken only by the muffled sounds of medical equipment and hushed whispers. You felt a hollowness growing in your chest, a cold, creeping dread that settled deep in your tired bones.

Finally, a doctor turned to you, his face a mask of professional sorrow. He spoke softly, his words a death knell. The world shattered around you. Alexia’s sobs echoed in the emptiness, a sound of pure, unfiltered grief. And though you felt yourself slipping, it was those sounds, the raw stripped back emotion she kept hidden from eyes that weren’t yours that broke you completely.

Alexia Putellas has shown the world she is human.

The ground beneath you gave way to a chasm of despair. Your baby, your beautiful, perfect baby with your nose and your wife’s hair, was gone.

-

“It’s like you don’t even care!” Alexia’s voice is harsh, cutting through the oppressive silence that has settled over the house.

You look up, startled and defensive from where you’re sitting on the sofa. “What are you talking about? How can you even say that?”

Alexia’s face is flushed with anger, something you don’t see off the pitch often. “You sit there every day, doing nothing. You don’t talk to me, you don’t look at me. It’s like I’m living with a fucking shell of a person”

“I’m trying to cope, Alexia” you snap back. “We both are. Just because I’m not falling apart at the seams doesn’t mean I don’t care”

“Falling apart?” Alexia’s eyes widen, her voice rising. “You think this is falling apart? Our baby died, our son, and you’re acting like it’s just something we can just move on from!”

This all started because she caught you putting his clothes into boxes.

Caught is the wrong word. You weren’t hiding from her. But the day after everything happened she just sat in the rocking chair you picked out together and cried. Her nose buried in an unworn onesie. The label still attached.

You didn’t want that room to become a shrine to a boy you held only once.

“Don’t you dare,” you say, your voice shaking with fractured fury. “Don’t you dare tell me how to grieve. Everyone deals with things differently”

“And what, ignoring it is your way?” Your wife’s words are like daggers, each one hitting its mark. She always was a perfectionist. “Because that’s what you’re doing. You’re pretending everything’s fine when it’s not”

“You think I’m pretending?” you shout, finally standing up. “Do you think I don’t feel it every second of every day? The emptiness, the loss? It’s killing me too!”

“Then why don’t you show it?” she screams back, tears streaming down her face. “Why don’t you let me in? We’re supposed to be in this together, but you’ve shut me out completely”

“You don’t understand,” you mutter, turning away, unable to face her pain on top of your own.

The sycamores are casting shadows over the grass. How dare the sun shine so brightly.

“What don’t I understand?” Alexia demands, stepping closer, her voice trembling with desperation. “What do I not understand about losing our boy?”

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “I can’t talk about it because it makes it real. Talking about it means accepting it, and I’m not ready to do that”

Her expression softens for a moment, as if she forgot she is supposed to be angry with you, then hardens again. “So what, you just shut me out? You leave me to deal with this alone because you’re too scared to face it?”

“It’s not that simple,” you reply, your voice barely audible to your own ears. “I’m doing the best I can”

“Well, your best isn’t good enough,” she shoots back, her voice breaking. “We’re falling apart, and you don’t even care”

“Don’t say that,” you plead, her words cutting deeper than you can bear.

“Then show me,” Alexia says, her voice softer but no less in pain. “Show me that you care, that you still want this, us”

You look at her, your heart breaking all over again. “I don’t know how”

-

The days after the argument with your wife feel like the twilight zone. Your home, once a sanctuary, now feels more like a prison, each room echoing with the whispers of what could have been. Friends and family, well-meaning and kind, flock to your side, but their presence often brings more discomfort than relief.

Salt in the wounds.

You're sitting on the couch, a half-drunk cup of tea cooling in your hands, as Alexia’s mother sits across from you. Her eyes are filled with sympathy you don’t want, her voice too gentle. "I can’t imagine what you’re going through," she says, her words meticulously planned out. "But we’re here for you, both of you”

You nod, forcing a smile. "Thank you," you reply, though the words feel empty. You appreciate their concern, but it does very little to fill the hollow ache inside you.

Eli reaches out, placing a hand on yours. "If there’s anything you need, anything at all..."

Before you can respond, the doorbell rings, and soon the house is filled with more people offering condolences, bringing food, and trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

Teammates with lopsided smiles. Friends with tears and hugs and sticky words. Nothing helps these days, not even your wife.

None of it seems to work.

You move through the crowd like a scent on a breeze, your smiles and nods automatic, your mind elsewhere and nowhere all at once.

In the kitchen, you find Alexia talking to her sister. The sight of them together, their heads bent in quiet conversation, brings a fresh wave of sorrow. You miss her, miss the connection you once shared. Now, even in the same room, she feels like she’s miles apart.

"How are you holding up?" Alba asks as you join them, her eyes wet.

Should you be crying more?

"I’m managing," you say, the lie slipping out effortlessly. It’s easier than trying to explain the turmoil growing inside your chest. Your mind.

Alexia glances at you, her eyes searching your face. "We’re taking it one day at a time," she adds, her voice strained, composed. You can tell she’s just about holding it together for your guests.

The support from friends and family is constant, yet it feels like a barrier rather than a bridge. They don’t understand the depth of your grief, can’t comprehend the void that has opened up inside you. Their attempts to comfort you only highlight the isolation you feel.

You think Alexia feels abandoned. She reaches for you every time you cross paths in the house. She hates that you pull away, skin prickling at the thought of being held. You hate that you crave her touch just as much but can’t bring yourself to seek it out.

How can one feel so alone when they are surrounded by so many? The same way you’re can be lost at sea and getting swallowed by waves that won’t leave you to die in peace.

-

One afternoon, when the house has finally quieted down, you find yourself standing in a patch of sun in the garden. The warmth on your skin felt almost foreign, a stark contrast to the coldness that had settled in your heart. The sycamore trees stood tall and proud, their leaves rustling gently in the breeze—a painful reminder that not everything gets the chance to grow.

As you stand there, lost in thought, you hear the door open behind you. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was; you sense Alexia’s presence like a shadow that had become a part of you. She walks up beside you, her steps hesitant and heavy.

"They mean well," she says softly, coming to stand next to you.

"I know," you reply, your voice void of anything but impatience to finish the conversation. "But it doesn’t help”

Alexia sighs, her hand reaching for yours. "We’re surrounded by people, but I’ve never felt so alone”

You look at her, the weight of her words mirroring your own feelings. "Me too," you admit, pulling your hand away.

For a moment, the connection between you feels almost tangible. But the pain is still there, a barrier neither of you knew how to breach. The love that had once been your refuge now felt like a distant memory, overshadowed by loss and grief.

-

Nights are the hardest. The quiet hours stretch to the milky way and back, filled with the echoes of dreams that would never be. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the weight of each day pressing down on you. Alexia’s presence beside you was both a comfort and a reminder of how far apart you have drifted.

Her snores keep you awake.

You slip out of bed and wander through the house. The nursery door stands ajar, a silent sentinel to your shattered life. You step inside, the faint scent of baby powder and fresh paint lingering in the air.

The cot stands in the corner, empty and pristine, a cruel reminder of what you had lost. You reach out, your fingers grazing the soft fabric of the blanket, and the tears you’d held back for so long finally break free.

The moonlight filters through the window, casting a soft glow across the room. Shadows dance on the walls, a silent audience to your sorrow. The room feels both alive and desolate, filled with the unspoken dreams and hopes you had cherished.

Their favourite colour will never be green.

You sink to the floor, the weight of everything pressing down on you. The silence is deafening, filled with the murmurs of laughter that will never be heard, the soft coos that will never come.

The final cry that haunts your mind.

You wonder how the world can continue to turn, how the universe can remain unchanged, while your life has been irreparably altered.

-

Spring is in full bloom, the world outside your window bursting with life and color. The garden is a riot of flowers, vibrant reds, yellows, and purples dancing in the gentle breeze. Birds sing their songs, and the air is filled with the sweet scent of blossoms. It is as if nature itself was mocking your grief, the beauty and renewal of the season a sharp contrast to the desolation you feel inside.

You stand at the window, watching as a pair of robins build a nest in the sycamore tree. Their industriousness, their instinctive drive to create and nurture new life, is a painful reminder of what you have lost.

Strong and steady, that’s what you need to be.

Though you're a leaf in the wind, ready to be carried away.

[tooclevertobehappy]

Hidden in plain sight Part.1

TRIGGER WARNING : Mention of child abuse

Clara’s body ached with exhaustion, but it wasn’t the kind of tiredness that could be fixed with a good night’s sleep. It was the kind that settled deep in her bones—emotional exhaustion that no amount of training could burn off.

Being seventeen and juggling both school and a football career had already complicated many aspects of her life, but she had managed fairly well so far. After a year and a half at Barcelona, she had grown accustomed to the demands of her sport and the rigors of school. But then her mother left, abandoning their home in the middle of the night without even leaving a note. Clara and her father were left behind, their home life—once a stable source of comfort and safety—slowly unraveling before her eyes.

At first, her father stayed strong, clinging to the belief that his wife would return and life would eventually go back to normal. But she never did. The ball crashed against the goalpost with more force than necessary, Clara’s shoulders tensed with every shot. Each kick was a release—a scream she couldn’t let out, a rage that no one could see. The field was her escape, but even here, the weight of her home pressed down on her chest, harder with every breath, her father sank deeper into his own grief.

He eventually turned to alcohol to numb the pain, drinking more and more each day. It started with an occasional glass, but soon, Clara would come home from practice to find him already drunk, slumped on the couch with a beer bottle in hand.

They had an unspoken arrangement. Clara would stay out of her father’s way, retreating to her room as soon as she got home. She’d only come out once she was sure he had passed out on the couch, to quietly prepare herself something to eat before heading back to her room to do homework and get some sleep.

This pattern continued for a while, until it began to deteriorate further. Clara would hear the familiar sound of the bottle cap twisting off before she even stepped inside the door. His mood swings from slurred words of "I miss her" to violent outbursts, as though each day was a reminder that her mother wasn’t coming back.

At first, it was just snide remarks thrown her way or orders to clean up after him, his words, once laced with sadness, now carried a bite—clipped commands, accusing glares when she was late, his footsteps heavy with impatience. He no longer cared to hide it, but it soon escalated. He shoved her against walls, screamed at her, blamed her for her mother’s departure, and even threw beer cans at her.

Clara had no choice but to handle it on her own. She couldn't tell her teammates about it, not when she had spent years idolizing them and had finally earned a spot playing alongside them.

When Ingrid casually commented on Clara’s new bruise, Clara forced a smile, her heart thumping in her chest. “Clumsy,” she’d said, but her eyes avoided Ingrid’s, the words tasting like ash in her mouth.

She couldn't let anything ruin this opportunity, so she kept quiet.

She didn’t confide in Alexia about the fear she felt every time she went home. She didn’t tell Mapi or Ingrid about the bruises on her body during their weekly dinners. She didn’t explain why she avoided changing in front of them, letting them assume it was just typical teenage shyness. Clara had always been quiet and reserved, but she’d grown close to Ingrid and Mapi. She appreciated Ingrid’s calm nature and quiet talks, and found comfort in Mapi’s endless monologues. So, it wasn’t surprising when one of them noticed that something was wrong.

Ingrid had always admired Clara’s quiet strength, how she was always the first to show up for team dinners, never complaining, always reliable. But lately, she’d noticed the cracks—Clara’s forced smile, the way she’d fidget with her hands when they spoke, the silence that stretched longer than it should. Ingrid knew something was wrong, but Clara had always been so good at hiding things.

Clara had never missed one of their dinners, not even when she had been sick. She had once shown up at practice with a fever but still managed to smile through it. So when Clara declined this week's dinner, citing homework, Ingrid immediately felt something was off. Clara had been pulling away lately—she was quieter, more withdrawn, and had been avoiding team hangouts and dinners. Ingrid started to worry. Concerned, she decided to visit Clara at home, hoping to understand what had been going on.

Ingrid arrived at Clara’s house a short while later. She had dropped Clara off there many times before, so she knew the way well. As she parked on the street and walked up to the door, she hesitated for a moment, unsure of what she might find, before taking a deep breath and knocking.

She waited long enough to wonder if she should try knocking again when the door creaked as it finally opened, it was a man who answered, she recognize him from photos she’d been showed by Clara a few months ago, it’s her father, but he looks nothings like the man she’d seen on the pictures, gone was the gentle smile and kind eyes, the man in front of her looked disheveled, his clothes dirty, and the smell of alcohol and stale air hit Ingrid immediately.

"What do you want?" he slurred.

Ingrid forced herself to stay calm ignoring the worry swirling deep in her stomach. "Where is Clara?"

His bloodshot eyes flickered to Ingrid, narrowing as if he recognized her but couldn’t quite place her. His lips twitched with some emotion she couldn’t quite read before he spat, “She’s not here.” The words felt more like an accusation than an answer, and before Ingrid could react, the door slammed in her face

Ingrid took a couple of steps back bewildering at the man’s reaction, but as she did, she noticed Clara’s car parked just a few meters away and she could recall seeing her shoes scattered on the ground inside just by the door.

Her stomach tightened. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. But despite her concerns, she hesitated. Clara had told her that she was swamped with homework just a couple of days ago, so maybe it was nothing. Maybe she was overreacting.

Reluctantly, Ingrid got back in her car and headed home, though the unease lingered in her gut. Once at her apartment, she was joined by Mapi, who had heard the keys in the lock and quickly got up from the couch always happy to see her girlfriend.

"No nena?" Mapi asked, a soft frown overtaking the smile on her face.

"No... I talked to her father, though," Ingrid replied, trying to sound casual but failing as her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence.

"And?" Mapi asked, standing beside her.

"Not much. He said she wasn’t there," Ingrid sighed, rubbing her forehead. "But her car and shoes were there."

Mapi’s eyes narrowed as she processed this. "What else?" she asked, sensing something more was troubling Ingrid.

Ingrid hesitated before speaking, her voice low. "The house was a mess, Mapi. His clothes were dirty, the floor was a mess... and he smelled like alcohol. Something just doesn’t sit right with me. And Clara’s just been…” she sighs not ending her sentence.

Mapi’s concern grew. "What’s been happening with Clara lately?"

"She’s pulling away from all of us," Ingrid explained, her voice trembling with worry. "She’s not talking as much, not coming to dinners, barely at practice, always leaving in a hurry... I don’t know, Mapi. Something’s wrong." she raises her head looking directly in Mapi’s eyes seemingly begging her to believe her.

Mapi gently took Ingrid’s hand, leading her to the sofa. They sat wrapped in each others’ arms in silence for a moment, Ingrid’s words hanging in the air. Before Mapi finally spoke.

"Why don’t we just text her and see what she says? Maybe she’s really busy with homework." Mapi was still talking, but Ingrid barely heard her. Her mind was racing. Maybe Clara was just busy. Maybe she was hiding something. But what if she wasn’t okay? Ingrid couldn’t take the chance. She grabbed her phone and typed: "Hi Nena, I tried to come say hi, but you weren’t at your house. Hope you’re doing well and hopefully we can reschedule our dinner soon. Love, Ing."

She showed the message to Mapi for approval, then sent it. They both waited anxiously, Ingrid fidgeting with her phone, her nerves growing as the minutes passed. Finally, Ingrid’s phone dinged with a new message.

Ingrid tapped the screen, feeling her heartbeat in her throat. The message loaded, and she froze. It was brief—too brief—and colder than she’d expected. Her stomach churned

"Hola Ingrid, sorry I’m at the library doing homework. Maybe next week for the dinner? See you tomorrow,"

The three of them had gotten close over the past few months, the couple had taken the young girl under their wing and had never denied the parenting allegation when it came to them, they liked watching over her as Clara had proven herself a great teammate and an ever better friend.

Ingrid’s fingers hovered over the phone, anxiety coiling in her stomach. What if Clara was lying? What if she was too afraid to ask for help? And what if-

Ingrid let out a long sigh and showed the text to Mapi, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Maybe she’s really busy," Mapi suggested gently, rubbing Ingrid’s back. "We can’t jump to conclusions just yet."

"But what if she’s not okay?" Ingrid states as she stands up, pacing the room. "What if she’s lying to us about something as simple as this? What if she won’t be honest with us when we ask her directly?" she desperately asks

Mapi stood up too and pulled Ingrid into an embrace, holding her close as she rubbed her back soothingly, pressing small kisses on her shoulder. Mapi’s hand found Ingrid’s, and she gently pulled her closer. « I know you’re scared. But we’ll figure this out. If something feels wrong tomorrow at practice, we’ll do whatever we have to do. But we can’t jump to conclusions yet, love. Not yet »

Ingrid nodded, though her worry hadn’t faded. But for now, all she could do was wait and hope she was wrong.

Ingrid lay awake long after Mapi had fallen asleep, staring at the ceiling. Her thoughts circled back to Clara, to the weight of her silence, and to the strange sense of dread that had settled in her gut. Something was terribly wrong. And she wasn’t sure they would be able to help before it was too late.

[starsjulia]

chasing cars // alexia putellas

a/n : had a little cry writing this, i also had this song on repeat while writing this.

warnings : a very sad one, my apologies in advance

The hospital room is too quiet, like the world outside has paused to give you these last moments together. The distant hum of life, people moving, machines running, feels muffled, unreachable. Only the faint beep of the monitor cuts through the stillness, slow and rhythmic, each sound a reminder of the time slipping through her fingers.

Alexia sits at your side, her hand wrapped around yours. It’s fragile now, your hand, and cold against her palm. She cradles it like she’s holding something sacred, her thumb brushing over your knuckles again and again as though the motion can ground her. You can see it, the desperate way her shoulders curve inward, like her body wants to protect you, shield you from the inevitable.

But nothing can stop this.

“Are you comfortable?” she asks quietly. Her voice is hoarse, breaking on the words, like she hasn’t spoken in hours. Maybe she hasn’t.

You manage a small nod, though it takes effort. “Yeah.” The word is a breath more than a sound. You can see the way her face pinches at the sound of it, her lips parting like she wants to argue, but what’s the point? You both know the truth.

There’s no getting better.

You close your eyes for a moment, the weight of your exhaustion pressing down on you. It’s different now than it was before, heavier, unrelenting. The kind of exhaustion you can’t sleep off, the kind that pulls you deeper until there’s nothing left. You know this feeling. You’ve known it for days now.

But you keep fighting for her.

You open your eyes again to find her staring at you, her eyes glossy with tears she refuses to let fall. Alexia has always been strong. You know she’s trying to be strong for you now, but you hate seeing her like this, watching you fade when there’s nothing she can do.

“Alexia,” you murmur softly, your voice breaking the silence.

Her eyes snap to yours, and she leans closer, her hand tightening around yours. “I’m here,” she says immediately, as though you could ever doubt that.

You smile faintly. “I know you are.” You pause, watching the way her brows furrow, the way her eyes trace over your face like she’s memorizing every detail. “You don’t have to pretend for me.”

“What?” she whispers.

“You don’t have to be strong right now,” you say softly. It’s hard to get the words out, but you push through because she needs to hear this. “It’s okay to be… sad.”

Her face crumples then, the composure she’s been clinging to shattering like glass. A small sob escapes her, and she presses her forehead against your hand, clutching it like it’s the last thing anchoring her to this moment. “I’m not ready,” she chokes out.

You close your eyes against the ache her words bring, a tear slipping down your own cheek. “I know,” you whisper. “I’m not ready either.”

Alexia lifts her head, her face streaked with tears as she looks at you. Her thumb reaches out, brushing the tear from your cheek gently, like you’re made of porcelain. “How can you be so calm?” she asks, her voice trembling.

You look at her for a long moment, your chest tight. “Because you’re here.”

Her breath catches, and more tears slip down her face. You don’t try to wipe them away, you can’t, but you wish you could. You’d do anything to take this pain from her.

“You’re everything to me,” she says suddenly, her voice breaking. “Do you know that? I don’t know how I’m supposed to… I don’t know how to do this without you.”

“You’ll be okay,” you say softly.

She shakes her head, anger and grief mingling in her expression. “Don’t say that. Don’t tell me I’ll be okay when I won’t.”

You don’t argue with her. You don’t tell her she’s wrong, because you know right now, it doesn’t feel like she’ll ever be okay again. Instead, you let the silence settle over the room, the weight of it heavy but familiar. You can feel her staring at you, searching for something, answers, maybe, or comfort. But all you have to give her are these moments.

“Do you remember that night on the balcony?” you ask softly after a while, your voice weak.

Alexia looks at you, her brow furrowed. “Which one?”

You smile faintly, though it takes effort. “The one when we stayed up until sunrise. You kept pointing out the constellations to me, but I kept pretending I couldn’t see them so you’d keep showing me.”

A small, broken laugh escapes her, a faint smile pulling at her lips despite the tears. “You were lying?”

You nod weakly. “I just wanted to hear you talk. I loved how excited you got about it.”

She looks at you, her expression softening. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Maybe.” You pause, your smile fading. “But I’d give anything to go back to that night.”

Alexia leans closer then, resting her forehead against yours as her tears drip onto your cheek. “We’ll go back,” she whispers desperately. “When you get better… I promise we’ll go back.”

You close your eyes, tears slipping down your face as you feel her trembling against you. You don’t correct her. You don’t tell her that there won’t be another night on the balcony or another sunrise together. Instead, you just soak in the feeling of her there, her hand in yours, her breath warm against your skin.

“I love you,” you whisper.

Alexia lets out a sob, the sound breaking you apart. “I love you too. I love you so so much.”

You squeeze her hand with the last bit of strength you have, your chest growing heavier with each breath. You can feel yourself slipping further, like the weight of the world is finally too much to bear. It’s terrifying, but Alexia’s there, holding onto you, her presence grounding you.

“I’ll always be with you,” you murmur, your voice barely audible now.

Alexia lifts her head, panic flashing in her eyes as she sees how much you’re fading. “No,” she whispers, shaking her head. “Stay with me. Please, just… just hold on a little longer.”

You wish you could. God, you wish you could. But you’re so tired now.

“I love you,” you say again, the words barely more than a breath.

And then, the world goes quiet.

The heart monitor flatlines, the sound cutting through the silence like a blade. Alexia doesn’t let go of your hand. She presses her forehead to yours, her sobs filling the room as she clings to you like you’re still there.

And maybe you are. In the stars. In the quiet moments. In every sunrise she’ll see after this.

Alexia stays there long after the nurses come and go, her tears soaking into the sheets as she whispers promises into the silence. Promises that she’ll look for you in every constellation, that she’ll keep chasing stars for you.

And even though you’re gone, a part of you stays with her. Always.

[sim0nril3y]

Deployment

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!Reader Scenario: The time has come. It's his first deployment since you've become a couple. The goodbyes are difficult. Warnings: No mask Simon (It's my personal headcanon in his regular life he probably wouldn't wear it), lots of angst, talking of leaving, talking of dying, canon-typical swearing.

One more night. One more night in his arms. What if he didn’t come back? What if he got hurt? What if he went missing? Honestly, you weren’t sure that you could cope with the never knowing what happened. Please, please, let there be some type of miracle that might happen so that Simon wouldn’t have to go. Things had been going so well, it simply wasn’t fair. If only he had any other job in the world. If only he was still a butcher, or something normal like that. Why now?

“Sleep.” Even with his eyes firmly closed Simon commanded you to rest. “You have work tomorrow.” Simon sounded tired, you supposed it was 2am, he had a right to be tired. “I don’t care.” You answered with a sad and quiet tone, eyes fixed on his sleeping frame in the pitch blackness that filled the room. “The morning is going to come whether you sleep or not.”

There was silence for a moment and Simon wondered if you had actually listened and then he heard it. Sniff. Then quiet. Sniff, sniff. Then even more silence before. Hck. Sniff. Sniff. His eyes pried open, adjusting momentarily before finding your face crumbling with emotion, lips firmly frowned and trembling, eyes filling fast with tears that were trickling down your face and soaking the pillow beneath you.

“Babe.” He whispered, reaching out to gently touch your shoulder, squeezing in a comforting way. “Don’t… Don’t bloody cry.” Simon whispered, his own voice a little thicker than usual. “Oi, c’mere.” Then pulling you across the sheets into his arms, holding you to firmly in his strong arms. “You dozy bloody moo…” He whispered, soothingly rubbing your back in small circles as you hiccupped and sobbed into his throat. “I know, I know.”

Honestly, he’d never had to deal with this before. Of course, he’d been around other colleagues and watched how hard it’s been for them to be away from their loved once. For him, it had been a very long time since he’d been in this place before and it was never like he had someone waiting for him to come home. It added an entirely different layer of fear, there was that fear of exposing you to danger but there was always a fear of leaving you. It felt like it hadn’t been that long since he’d learned to love you, allowed himself to let someone new into his life and now there was the possibility it could be all ripped away in an instant. Simon wanted more time, but that wasn’t something he was going to be afforded.

Still, even as your tears flowed Simon just held you, strong and tight in his arms, shushing you and caressing you so gently until your body just succumbed to exhaustion. It brought him pain to think of you being apart from him in mere hours now, sobbing yourself to sleep without his strong arms and his kind words. Fuck, it had never been this hard before.

The following morning Simon was up bright and early to finish his checklist. It seemed that you were restless too and that early awakening lead to you following him around like a lost puppy, eyes watching the clock as if counting down the seconds. “Babe, I’m just going to put some fuel in the car. I’ll be back. I promise.” He’d assured when your eyes had filled with wayward tears as he nabbed his keys. “Sweetheart, can I take a piss in peace, please?” He’d begged as you chased him into the bathroom for the second time that morning.  “I’m just going to get a loaf of bread from the other freezer, stay here.” He'd commanded as he unlocked the back door. “Babe, if you wanted to join me in the shower all you had to do was ask…” Simon had purred before you two fell into the steamy shower.

Later that morning you were munching down some toast, eyes fixed firmly on Simon as he made himself a strong tea. It was difficult thinking that tomorrow morning you would be going through this routine on your own. The thought alone was enough for a lump to stick awkwardly in your throat. “Right…” Simon began then, causing you to push down any of those awful feelings and focus. “I’ve left a list of numbers over there…” Turning he held his mug in hand and nodded in the direction of a lonely notepad, it was full of names and phone numbers and occupations. “Reckon they’ll be able to fix any problems you might run into, alright? I’m not gonna be able to be in contact all the time, so I need to know that if there is a problem here, or with you, or with the car that it’ll be covered.”

“Right.” You agreed gently, taking another solemn bite of toast. “Against my better judgement…” Simon continued, stepping across to sit opposite you at the kitchen table. “I’ve added you to my car insurance, use it when you need it, please don’t write it off.” There was almost teasing to his tone. “My driving isn’t that bad…” You grumbled and this only earned a smirk as he took another sip of his tea. “I’ve got all the utilities set up. The mortgage is on direct debit. I’m even paying that kid down the road to come a mow the garden whilst I’m gone, he’s happy to be making a little extra money and it’s one less thing for you to worry about, which means one less thing for me to worry about.” Simon explained.

A frown found your lips. “I’m capable of looking after myself and the house, you know…” Simon lets out a soft sigh then and replies. “I know, babe. I…” He seems to pause, as if taking a moment to find the right words. “I like to know that I’ve covered every possibility at home so I won’t have to worry when I’m out there…” Simon said it like out there was a very distant place, very cold, isolated and very far from you. “Okay?” Silently he was asking you to just trust him and give him these final few hours to make sure everything was set up in a way that gave him comfort, the comfort of knowing that you were safe at home. “Okay.”

The way that you watched the clock on the wall was like you were begging it for more time, making some kind of trade so that Simon wouldn’t need to go. Regardless of what you promised the time still came. There he stood loading his bags into the waiting cab, you stood a couple paces back wanting to give some space. “Let me drive you-” You attempted to persuade. “It’ll be too hard.” Simon answered with finality.

He closed the boot with a shunt and then turned to be looking at you. “It’ll be better to leave you here at home and then call you once I arrive on base. Okay?” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself too. “C’mon now…” He muttered, watching as finally the emotion broke over your face, all that strength crumbled and the tears began to trickle once again. “Oi…” Simon muttered, wrapping you into his warm strong arms. Those same arms you wouldn’t feel again for month. Your last embrace. “It’ll be easier like this. I promise. Easier for you. Easier for me.” Simon whispered, squeezing you so tight in his bulging arms. “I love you.”

It was something so rare and so emotional that you actually gasped, glancing up at him through your watery eyes. “Love you too.” Your words came out less controlled, spoken through a sob. “Love you.” You added, as if to make up for the initial emotional sentiment like Simon might have not been able to hear you over the lump in your throat. “Call me-” “I will.” There was a solid promise.

Then one final kiss. It was searing, his lips pressed against your own so hard that you thought he might bruise you. You never wanted this kiss to end. You didn’t want him to climb into the cab. You didn’t want his promises or his declarations of love and devotion. No, you just wanted him…

A second later Simon detangled you from his arms and climbed into the cab. He knew that one of you had to be strong in this moment and that you were never going to be the one to walk away, so he needed to. Even if it hurt more than being fucking shot Simon needed to step away. He had duty. He had honour. Someday maybe you’d understand, or maybe you never would, but he hoped that at least you’d find some type of normality without him around…

Once he’d arrived on base Simon got back into a routine seamlessly, everyone thought of him as the emotionless and stoic ‘Ghost’. That was all that he wanted to be to these people. The less they knew about his life the better, that way he could shield you from anyone using you against him. He’d never forgive himself… however, there was one person that needed to know. Officially, he needed to speak to Price, if the worst should happen you’d need to know.

It was late. Far too late to be doing all this, but Simon knew that his Captain would still be up. Rapping his knuckles hard against his door a voice called out and in he stepped. John sat at his desk, pouring over paperwork on his desk and gifting Simon a very tired smile as he entered. “Captain.” He kept his voice firm and professional as he entered. “Lieutenant, what do you need?”

For a moment Simon stood quietly, mouth pursed as if he racked his brains for the right words. “My next of kin…” “It’s blank – like we discussed.” About to dismiss him when Simon spoke again. “I need it changed.” John seemed shocked by these words, the argument that they had over not having one and now to have him so quickly change his mind. “What do you need from me?”

John blinked, once then twice before collecting a form from his desk. “Just jot their details down…” Passing over a pen as he watched Simon began to diligently fill in the boxes. His hand-writing was just as he expected, messy and haphazard, but his mind only went to Simon’s homelife… John wondered, did he have someone special? Who was it? What were they like? How long had they known each other? What was the relationship? All these questions that John wanted to ask, but knowing Simon wouldn’t get a single answer. “If I die, tell her.” Yanked back to reality with one simple sentence. “Not some letter. No some top brass. You tell her, Captain.” Sliding the piece of paper back in his direction. “Don’t tell her how - she won’t cope with that.” John nodded. “For fuck sake, don’t show her a body if there is one. She’d never sleep again.”

“Need you to make sure she gets access to my pension. I want every fucking penny of it going to her.” Simon placed down the pen hard on the table. “My house. My car. The shirt off my dead fucking back. I want it all going to her. Okay?” There was desperation in his tone. This was a conversation they were meant to be having 6 weeks ago, with legal and suits around to sign it all off. Not the night before he was going to be put on a plane into a warzone. “Simon-” “John, please…” He didn’t need to see the rest of his face to know that Simon was in anguish, his eyes were enough. “I’ll see that it happens.”

Masterlist | Ask | 10-04-2024

[moonkissedvisions]

PAC ♡ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ please read:

Hey! welcome to another reading. This reading includes the following questions, I drew one card for each of them: -How do you see yourself? -How do you think others see you? -How do you project yourself to others? -How can you improve your projection/image? -Who/How are you, really? Use your own intuition and discernment to read my interpretations. Remember that this is a general reading so not everything has to resonate. This reading was only made for guidance and entertainment, it´s not a replacement for professional advice of any kind. I use a Rider-Waite deck and you can ask me about the cards if they aren´t named in the reading. Check out my other readings at the end of this post and consider liking/reblogging/following if you liked this one.

ʚ♡ɞ Now, look for your pile and hope you enjoy it. ʚ♡ɞ

♡ Pile 1

How do you see yourself?

You see yourself as a joyful person who likes to have fun and juggle many things at once. You view yourself as adaptable, dynamic, and fast-paced. You strive to maintain balance in your life. Perhaps you see yourself as someone who is too agitated, trying to keep everything together but struggling with a bit of messiness. You are worried that you can't always solve every problem or you aren't versatile enough. You are practical and you tend to take too much at once, but you know you are good at that.

How do you think others see you?

You believe that others perceive you as a resilient and strong individual who has gone through many challenges in life. You think they see you as a warrior who can endure any obstacle that comes your way. You also believe that you excel at setting boundaries and people recognize your persistence, ability to push forward, durability, and unwavering stance on important matters.

What do you project?

You project that you are struggling emotionally. maybe you suffered from heartbreak recently and that's why others see you struggling. When you experience heartbreak, loss, or betrayal, it can be difficult to hide the impact it has on you. Often, others can sense that you are not feeling your best. This may be due to your facial expressions, gestures, and body language projecting your sorrow, depression, or grief. However, others may also sense that you possess the strength to endure emotional pain and anguish, and that you have the capacity to cope with difficult times and emotions. Despite the challenging circumstances, they can see that you are getting through it.

How can you improve your image?

To build a positive image, focus on developing self-confidence, optimism, and a sense of self-assurance. Recognize your own strengths, resilience, and determination, and celebrate your successes and progress with others. Cultivate a positive self-image by showcasing your talents, achievements, and skills, and don't be afraid to reward yourself for your hard work. By accepting love and attention from others, you can build strong and supportive relationships that will help you achieve your goals and thrive in life. Remember, with dedication and perseverance, you can create a positive image that reflects your true potential and inspires others to do the same.

Who/How are you?

Whether it's in the present, past or an ongoing experience, you may have encountered a sense of loss, betrayal, heartbreak or any other kind of ending that has left you feeling defeated, physically and mentally exhausted, unable to react, powerless, discouraged, and sad. It's a feeling that things have come to an end and a new beginning is approaching. You may feel resigned to this situation, and it may have taken you by surprise. Someone or something may have hurt you deeply, and you may feel like there is nothing you can do about it. But with time, a new beginning will approach, and you'll be able to start your life anew. ♡

♡ Pile 2

How do you see yourself?

You perceive yourself as someone who is often lost in thought, too absorbed in your mind to notice what is happening around you. Perhaps you are moody, bored, or indifferent. You don't seem to experience gratitude or joy for anything in particular. You may overanalyze things and miss out on opportunities as a result. You see yourself as someone who is introspective and contemplative, but you struggle to feel content or fulfilled. You don't have a passion or feel emotionally connected to anything. You may be stuck in a negative/lack mindset and find it difficult to appreciate what you already have.

How do you think others see you?

You believe that others perceive you as a patient, moderate, balanced, and a calm person. You think that people see you as someone who enjoys going on adventures and embracing all kinds of experiences. Additionally, you think that others view you as open-minded, flexible, and capable of accepting diverse opinions and ways of living. You don't consider yourself as a person who thinks in black and white, but rather as someone who avoids extreme points of view. Perhaps you believe that people see you as someone who is not vengeful, holds no grudges, and is diplomatic and stable.

What do you project?

You exude calmness and balance while projecting emotional intelligence and the ability to empathize with people's feelings. You possess the skills to help others with their emotional problems and have the ability to connect with your own emotions and creativity. People feel heard and understood when they talk to you, and you have a reassuring presence that can comfort and uplift them. You healthily express your emotions and are unafraid of being perceived as sensitive or emotional. You have a strong intuition that enables you to read others' emotions accurately and know when someone needs support. You are a loving, artistic, and magnetic individual who is capable of dreaming big and inspiring others with your creativity and passion.

How can you improve your image?

Be ready to unleash your inner child by embracing your childlike wonder and free-spirited personality. Ignite your adventurous side and discover new horizons with an open and curious mind. Don't let a lack of enthusiasm hold you back - break free from routine and indulge your curiosity. Follow what intrigues you. Get out of your head, and look at the bright side. The key to finding your passion is to approach life with a playful attitude and a desire to explore new ideas. Don't take yourself too seriously and don't worry about making sense of everything. You don't need to get attached to something to find it fun. Work on your fears. As you embrace your journey, you'll inspire others to follow your lead and tap into their own sense of wonder. Let humor be your guide and start smiling more as you uncover all the exciting experiences that await you.

Who/How are you?

You possess a reflective, methodical, and calm personality. You are someone who doesn't rush into things and takes their time to contemplate and evaluate the situation before action. You are careful with your work and like to commit yourself fully to it. You are a perfectionist. Your introspective and composed nature allows you to think through things deeply and come up with practical solutions. You value your work and like to reflect on the outcome, which helps you learn from your experiences and grow. You are intellectually practical and don't take any risks without careful planning. You are a patient, dedicated, and meticulous individual who values quality work and likes to appreaciate the fruits of their labor.

♡ Pile 3

How do you see yourself?

You see yourself as someone who possesses a remarkable collaborative personality that enables you to effortlessly blend the energies and abilities of all team members, resulting in outstanding project outcomes. Your ability to work in teams is a testament to your skill and capability. You are focused, dedicated, and driven to succeed, with a good eye for detail and a talent for employing practical skills to achieve your goals. Your meticulous planning and thoughtful consideration of all aspects of a project reflect your reliability and conscientious nature. You are aware of your strong work ethic, combined with your friendly and trustworthy demeanor. You are highly committed to your work, practical, and reliable which inspires confidence in your abilities.

How do you think others see you?

You may feel like others don't fully understand you or perceive you accurately. It's possible that you have an unclear sense of your own identity, or that your identity is constantly changing based on your emotions or what's currently going on in your life. This can make it difficult for others to get a clear picture of who you are, and you may feel misunderstood. You might even feel like you can't be your true self, or that there isn't a true version of you that you can show to people. It's possible that you feel like others see you as fake or delusional, or that they pick up on your insecurities and emotional struggles so their perception of you is clouded by emotional projections. You may worry that you confuse people or that they have false beliefs and wrong ideas about you.

What do you project?

You might unknowingly convey your inner feelings of doubt and unease to those around you. Perhaps you are currently low on energy, and those around you can sense that you are feeling defeated. You might be projecting an absence of assertiveness in your communication and actions, indicating that you are unsure of your ability to win your battles and succeed. It's also possible that you are projecting a lack of confidence in yourself and your boundaries, giving off the impression that you are easily giving up and that you don't stand up for yourself. Maybe others perceive you as someone who starts unnecessary conflicts and behaves recklessly. You may also be projecting a lack of experience and commitment, which could result in you frequently stepping back from challenging situations. Overall, you project insecurity and a lack of motivation.

How can you improve your image?

To improve your image, you must embrace the unknown and uncertainty with boldness, readiness, and vitality. Identify the factors that are holding you back and draining your energy. Instead of wasting your time and focusing on insecurities, learn to be assertive, spontaneous, and willing to take risks. Redirect your focus intelligently. Feel the fear, and do it anyway. Trust in your ability to overcome any challenge that comes your way. Don't hold back your wild side; be authentic and unapologetic. Take care of your health and engage in sports that will help you gain confidence and vigor. Expand yourself and seek ways to grow instead of limiting yourself. Remember, you are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

Who/How are you?

You may be currently undergoing a process of healing, or are considering such a journey. You are beginning to view your pain, struggle, and grief in a new light, and as a result, you are experiencing a sense of release from emotional pain. You are starting to feel more peaceful and serene, and you are gaining a deeper sense of self-awareness. You are recovering from a past event that has had a profound impact on you, and you are gaining hope and faith in your healing journey. You are engaging in various forms of emotional release, such as journaling, meditation, or talking to someone. You help others to heal by sharing your own journey. You are attuned to your feelings and learning to experience them, rather than trying to control or over-analyze them. You are someone who is overcoming emotional obstacles and developing a sense of self-acceptance and inner peace. Your journey of healing is a testament to your strength and resilience, and serves as an inspiration to others who may be going through similar experiences.

♡ Pile 4

How do you see yourself?

You appear to be someone who possesses a strong sense of willpower. You are confident in your abilities to manifest your desires and you have all the resources at your disposal to achieve your goals. Your skills and creativity are impressive, and you possess the strategic prowess and focus to make things happen. You also possess a sense of empowerment and cunning, which makes you a natural leader with a flair for innovation.

Your persuasive and analytical abilities have made you a force to be reckoned with, and you are well aware of your power and influence. However, you may have noticed that this energy is not always directed in a positive direction. You may have used your persuasive abilities to manipulate, control, or deceive others, rather than using them to inspire and motivate. Perhaps you have struggled to channel your creativity in a way that benefits yourself and others, and as a result, you may have suppressed it altogether. You may also feel that you lack consistency in your endeavors, which can lead to wasted potential or a lack of progress. You may struggle to be honest and coherent with your thoughts and actions, which can lead to a sense of confusion or frustration. Despite these challenges, you deeply understand that you have the potential to overcome them and tap into your full potential.

How do you think others see you?

You believe that others perceive you as a deep and dynamic individual, characterized by a continual process of transformation and evolution in your life. You feel that they recognize your innate ability to undergo significant metamorphoses and serve as a catalyst for change. You sense that others regard you as someone who wields profound influence, capable of instigating transformative shifts within themselves and their surroundings. You believe that people perceive your resilience and profound depth, viewing you as a revolutionary figure who fosters renewal and facilitates healing processes. You think others see you as a radical person.

What do you project?

You appear to be experiencing a sense of detachment from your expertise and proficiency. You project that your level of engagement with your work has diminished compared to previous times. Your attention and organizational skills seem to be faltering, leaving others with a feeling of uncertainty regarding your reliability and dependability. It appears that practicality eludes you, and you are out of harmony with those around you, resulting in a lack of confidence in your abilities both professionally and in your daily pursuits. Your friends or colleagues may detect a noticeable disconnect, sensing that you are not resonating on the same wavelength as before and that your connection with them has weakened. Don't take this as a further discouraging message. Remember that this is also part of your journey so embrace it, and seek to realign at your own pace. You may be projecting this however it doesn't have to be the truth about you.

How can you improve your image?

Enhancing your image begins with embracing both your triumphs and setbacks, as they are integral parts of your journey toward personal and professional growth. By acknowledging and learning from your experiences, you pave the way for self-improvement and evolution. Make time for introspection, allowing yourself to release any burdens and cultivate gratitude for the lessons learned. Reclaim your power by reframing disappointments as opportunities for growth and resilience. Stay proactive in seeking out avenues for advancement and expansion. Re-center yourself by decluttering not only your physical surroundings but also your mental and spiritual spaces. Through this deliberate process of self-care and empowerment, you position yourself to thrive and radiate confidence in all aspects of your life. Remember that you can't grow new flowers until the old ones have decomposed into soil. Focus on growing new flowers, not in the decomposed old ones.

Who/How are you?

You have a vibrant persona thar radiates humor, making interactions with you a delight. You exude a carefree optimism that uplifts those around you. Your approach to life is characterized by a refreshing lack of attachment to material possessions, opting instead to savor experiences with an insatiable curiosity and boundless enthusiasm. You embrace each moment as an opportunity for joy and discovery. Recognizing the analogy of life to a perpetual celebration, you conscientiously cultivate an attitude of a gracious host, ensuring that every encounter is filled with warmth and vitality. Your capacity to maintain a lighthearted perspective, coupled with an unwavering focus on the bright side of life, reflects a remarkable depth of wisdom and resilience. You have an infectious smile and unforgettable laughter, and you embrace your childlike wonder.

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