#paes talks
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Obv im not promising anything i am NOT a man of commitment but would you guys be interested in a lusopp/usolu fanbook ?
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lmao why is some of my stuff resurfacing 😭😭😭
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Pae: Mhok I will actually sell the car you know
Mhok: ok
Pae: ...you want me to sell your sister's car?
Mhok: I mean yeah she loved it like her baby, but she left it and everything else behind on her way to the afterlife so it's whatever
Pae: ...yeah so I'm going to give you more time to think about it
#pae: i may not be a therapist but this seems like the kind of thing you should talk to one about#last twilight the series#last twilight#pae#mhok
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It’s honestly so hard for us to stay motivated while job hunting, even someone like me who is unaffected by the anxiety of it still loses the drive to actually do the things we need to, which sucks. It’s one of those things I know we need to do, so I’ll do anything I have to to get it done, we need to find a job before we can move, and we need to have some security before we give up our current lease, so it’s a lot of moving parts, but I can’t stay motivated to do it. I have to do a little bit at a time which isn’t helpful, but it’s the best I can do at this point. Our partner and I are so tired of this current town, apartment, we want to move on, but that means making this happen. I just hope I get the one job I’m actually excited about, that would be fantastic.
#Pae talks#this whole situation is very clearly messing with the system. our anxiety is worse and we can’t sleep#but someone’s got to do it so I guess it’s me#dissociative identity disorder#traumagenic system#traumagenic#did system#osddid
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#swingset#sws little#im kinda scared ta talk on heres...#pae pae says im alowed but wut if people get mad at me for not bein pae pae#wut if get mad that i talks funny#try not talk like baby but it hard :(#i small :( i talk small :( i not pae pae
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₊˚⊹♡ RECKLESS
["it's a good thing you're not here, because i still havent found my courage."]
| ✮ 4.5 stars |
THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers ahead]
okayyy let me just start off with WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK WAS THAT ENDING LAUREN???? i'm not okay because of it. like nuh uh get lost. u had no right to do that (im saying this as if it didnt get spoiled for me and i didnt gaslight myself the entire book read that it wasn't going to happen)
i would like to straight up say this seemed like a filler book. just a set up for the next one, it didn't really have all too much plot-wise aside from pae and kai's romance. it was less on the fantasy side and more on the romance but i still enjoyed it a lot. and obviously since it was a filler book there was less character development (for some- im looking at you paedyn)
kai and pae were really cute in this book honestly (and as it mostly focuses on the romance ofc they were) the banter and everything was so wonderful to read i was giggling and kicking my feet wayyy to much. the romance was romancing but also not romancing at the same time (im not even gonna try to explain that just use vibes)
i do feel as though lauren's writing has definitely improved from powerless. she has this whimsical magical style of writing that i love it really takes me into the world of the book (mostly). other times the long sentences were too much in moments. like lauren. we did not need to know the colour of the bricks in the market at this certain moment in time when you'd already explained the colour two pages ago-
CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
paedyn - ok i love her. i really do she's such a good fmc BUT for me in this book she was boring-ish. and hella indecisive like girly pop if i had kai talking to me like that i'd be folding so damn fast- but yeah it felt like she didn't have too much character development aside from finding out her dad was actually her dad. also i idk who the fuck she was trying to fool with her 'i hate you' to kai, like be fucking for real bitch no you dont.
kai - ok bye i could write a whole rant on why i love this man. like im sat. this book felt more like kai's book (as powerless felt like pae's) imo we got more on his backstory and i think his character (and povs) were more interesting for me to focus on. also his flirting and little one liners had me giggling and shit my sister actually woke up to me grinning like an idiot under torch light-
kitt - bye idek why i made this section for him. this is going to entirely be hate fr. OKAY WE GET IT DUDE UR A GHOST WHATEVER. OH MY GOSH U MISS UR DAD BUT IN THE NEXT POV U DONT LIKE BITCH CHOOSE A SIDE IDC ABT UR WHINY ASS. ALSO U CLEARLY HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH PAEDYN LIKE FUCKING HELL DUDE SHE IS UR 'MUSE' OR WHATEVER GET OVER YOURSELF. EUGH AND THEN PROPOSING TO HER?? YEAH SURE BUDDY "YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER DIED" MHM YUP OKAY TOTALLYYY *clears throat awkwardly* can you tell i hate him?
QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [its like all kai... im not even sorry about it either]
"you are my proof of paradise." - kai
"call us even. call me crazy. i don't care. just... just call me yours." - kai
"under different curcumstances i promise you im much more fun tied up." - kai (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREECHED AND STARED AT THE PAGE. MALAKAI AZER-)
"just pae and kai." - kai
"she was supposed to be my forever. now i'll watch her become someone else's. because the beast doesn't get the beauty." - kai
jahsdgj i can't wait for the next book hehe
#the library ౨ৎ⋆˚。⋆#the bookshelf ౨ৎ⋆˚。⋆#reckless#powerless#reckless lauren roberts#reckless spoilers
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Reflections in Last Twilight
Alright, I was not really planning on writing analysis on for Last Twilight, at least not this early in the game. But my dearly beloved @dribs-and-drabbles has called to me like Beetlejuice to analyze the use of reflections in this show. Which means i have been summoned, which means, it is time to bust out the meta.
Now, having just looked back through both Episode 1 and Episode 2, there have not been that many instances of reflections in Last Twilight so far, though the ones we have had already are definitely memorable. So let’s get in to it.
Episode 1
Intro Sequence
I’m not going to talk about the reflections off the fish tank here because the actual scene they are tied to comes in Episode 2 and I think there will be a whole lot more to say then. But I do want to acknowledge that we will be getting reflections at the beginning of every episode, and that Aof is already establishing the important symbolism of fish and jasmine.
The first actual reflection we get in Last Twilight comes in the form of Mhok in the side mirror of his sister Rung’s car.
Rung's car has been sitting in Pae's garage for a year at this point. It would be gathering dust if Pae hadn't spent time over the course of that year meticulously maintaining her vehicle. In fact, that is the very first thing we see happen in this workshop. Pae taking car of Rung's car in her and Mhok's sted. Taking care of this car was not his job, we can assume that he did not anticipate the time commitment that would come with maintaining possession of Rung's car while Mhok was in jail, but he has set himself up to task and gone, in my opinion, above and beyond what was expected of him by continuing to maintain her car.
Pae is surprised when Mhok hands him the spare key and says Pae can sell the car. Mhok at this point is in the anger stage of grief. He blames Rung for her death, and wants to absolve himself of the grief and guilt by maintaining the idea that Rung was to blame and to try to rid himself of any and all reminders of his sister. Mhok, as we know, is incredibly alone. His mother died when they were young, his sister has died, he is no longer associated with his friends/coworkers from his old shop after they all got arrested, and he hides as much as he can from Pae. Mhok has Phorjai and Phorjai only as any sort of support system, and she's his ex-girlfriend, so I don't think we need to go too in depth to acknowledge the complications there.
Mhok wants to forget his grief, his pain, and I appreciate greatly that Pae won't let him do that. That Pae knows Mhok enough to understand that the second that Pae sells that car, Mhok is going to regret letting it go. So he extends another six months grace period to let Mhok actually think it over. Mhok looks over the car, at the bandaid that Rung put on the little scratch she got her first day owning the car, in the glove compartment where all the handouts for her failed budiness are. And Pae allows Mhok a minute alone, in the dark of his sister's car.
At which point we get the reflection. Now, personally I think Jimmy has some work to do as an actor, which means it feels harder for me to accurately read Mhok's face/emotional state. But, for me, here, Mhok looks *tired*, but most importantly, he is trapped in the frame of the side mirror, he is stuck in the dark, and he is alone. In just one small frame, Aof is showing us the aspects of Mhok's character that will help him recognize himself in Day, and tell us why Mhok needs the relationship he has (or will have) to Day.
This is the only actual reflection we see in Episode 1.
But I do want to comment on the end of the episode, like everyone else has, about part of the *The Little Prince* reading that Mhok does at the end. Namely the line "what is essential is invisible to the eye".
I don't think, in a show with going blind as a part of its central theme that we really *need* to look deeper in to the significance/meaning of this line. But because I have been asked to talk about reflections, I want to go a little overboard on the line reading here. Because, day to day we can't see ourselves, right? We wouldn't know exactly what we look like if we couldn't look in to a mirror. Mirrors, reflections, are often a subject of insecurity, providing us the opportunity to pick at every flaw. In mirrors, dancers can watch and correct themselves, their body positions, tweak their choreography based on what they see that they normally would not be able to. Actors can practice facial expressions in the mirror, figure out how they have to hold themselves to make their emotions believable. In horror movies, mirrors show us what lurks in the background, in spy movies it shows us what exists around the corner. And in our deepest moments of guilt or shame, facing ourselves in the mirror becomes a challenge.
I don't want to get too ahead of myself on predictions about this show and what Aof is planning on doing with it, but personally I think the use of mirrors/reflections is a perfect way to show what is essential and invisible to the eye. Mhok is not looking at himself in the mirror here, and if we were standing in the room with him, we would not be able to see his face at all. But the side mirror of Rung's car allows us to see what Mhok is thinking and feeling. But he isn't looking in the mirror himself. He isn't and hasn't started facing or confronting his own grief, isolation, or pain. I don't know that Mhok is as of yet capable of seeing what he needs to change in his own life, because he hasn't reflected on his own life.
Episode 2
The first "reflection" we get in Episode 2 is not really a reflection, at least in the traditional sense, but I do still want to talk about it. I am of course talking about the selfie with Aon.
Mostly because I wanted to acknowledge that to me, a photo is a kind of reflection in that you can both look back at yourself and also reflect on the memory of the time. To be honest, I don’t know exactly how I feel about Aon taking this picture of Mhok, because he takes it for the Society for the Blind. But how are they using it? Is this evidence that Mhok is here and doing what he said he will, or is this going to be used in marketing of some sort? Either way, it is capturing a moment in time that Mhok could one day look back on to reminisce about the beginning of his relationship with Day.
And here Mhok is with someone else, a second person to accompany him where before he just had himself. But this is fake, this is quick, this is right after Mhok has just been shut out of all proceedings between Aon and Day. Mhok doesn’t know what’s happening before he is being told to smile for the camera. And if anyone were to see this photo, they would see a very happy Aon and a decently confused Mhok, but they would have no idea how limited a connection to Aon, Mhok would have had at this point.
The next reflection is a bit difficult to see, but it comes during the conversation Day has with Mhok about the eye drops, where he explains he can see more clearly right after he uses them. In this scene, Day is talking to Mhok while keeping his gaze affixed to the lone goldfish in his increasingly grimier tank.
Mhok and Day have a brief conversation about whether or not the fish is lonely since it is the only one in the tank, and Day brushes it off by saying that goldfish have short memory and that it couldn’t possibly be lonely.
But, whenever we see Day on screen here, we see his reflection in the glass of the tank. And there are a few great moments during this conversation where the goldfish sits directly in front of Day’s reflection. To me it feels like a memory, a ghost, or a projection, and we know by the end of Episode 2, (if we haven’t picked up on it already from the title sequence or how heavily goldfish imagery has features in the promotional material for this show) that the goldfish is a stand in for Day himself.
So I love the fact that we get this wisp of an image of Day’s face in the tank, like he’s trapped inside of it. Because we know that in a way he is. And the other thing I love about this, or rather about the fact that this goldfish is meant to symbolize Day himself, is that watching this goldfish is what brings Day the most joy at the moment.
I love that because it shows me that there is hope and joy still left in Day, if he can just take the time to look at himself a little differently.
OKAY it’s time for the Big Boys.
Our first instance of an actual reflection off a mirror in Episode 2 happens when Mhok is trying to check in with Day after Day runs away from Night’s friends. Mhok has said that he understands Day, and Day Does Not Like That™.
Day’s response to Mhok’s monologue is to say that Mhok has no idea what it is like to look in the mirror and not see your old self. And of course, we see Day’s reflection in his full body mirror. Now, again, Aof is being pretty heavy handed with his metaphors here. But that doesn’t mean I don’t absolutely love the double meaning of these words. Day is going blind so he literally can’t see himself in the mirror anymore.
But also, Day is deep in his grief for the things he has lost. His freedom, his career, his confidence that I think he has morphed in to a completely different person. One who is bitter, and self-conscious, and more comfortable hiding away where he can wallow in misery over his condition and not have to confront the new world he is living in. Day is running from connection, I mean not a minute before this scene Day legitimately ran away from Night’s friends rather than have to explain his blindness.
The scene continues, and Day shuts himself off even further from the world around him, by putting in his headphones. Now he can drown out Mhok’s attempts to comfort him, but in the long run what is that going to do? As @shortpplfedup said to me earlier “the set dressers did not come to play” when it came to designing Day’s room. When the curtains aren’t drawn there is so much natural light in Day’s room. His walls are bright and colorful, there are photos and awards all over the place. Day’s room has so much personality in it, so much life within it. But the mirror shows nothing. It shows Day alone, surrounded by blank walls in grayscale.
The costume designer made an excellent choice of shirt for this scene, by the way. Because the yellow blends in enough with the wall in Day’s room, that (especially) when coupled with the camera’s focus in this scene. The real Day almost fades in to the background, and your eye is naturally drawn to this spot of yellow in the mirror.
The mirror highlights his isolation while at the same time showing the audience how much Day can and does stand out.
AND it parallels the reflection of Mhok in Episode 1 so well, not just in the emotions that we see from Mhok and Day, but in the sense that Mhok’s reflection is in Rung’s car because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about his sister, rather than processing his grief. While Day’s reflection is in his room because he is currently trapping himself in the darker, meaner thoughts about himself, rather than giving himself enough compassion to start moving forward.
When Day does not respond to Mhok’s conversation, Mhok is triggered at the thought of his sister’s death and he breaks down the door to make sure Day is okay, and gets fired for it. Mhok does not argue, he does not put up a fight, he does not try to explain, he just honors Day’s request and gets the fuck out. And I love the way that Mhok is already starting to change Day’s outlook. Because we see how mopey Day is after Mhok leaves, and how much hope there is in him when Night tells him there is someone at the door who wants to see him and he so obviously thinks it’s Mhok.
Mhok gives him the gift of the fish slippers, and Day goes to visit Mhok at the market, only to find out that Mhok has spent time reflecting on what Day told him about not understanding him, and making a fool out of himself in the eyes of the other market patrons by blindfolding himself.
Mhok is doing what no one else has really done and is making a concerted effort to truly understand where Day is coming from, the fears that he is carrying, and the challenges he faces as a blind man.
But of course, we know by now that while there are definitely things Mhok is had not or might never understand about the physical realities of Day’s life, he can understand loneliness, and he can understand rage, pain, and anger. There are parts of himself that have grown within him over the past year that recognizes parts of Day that have grown within him over the past year.
And we have already been seeing the impact of Mhok on Day’s life, in the fact that Day has smiled more, Day has left his room, Day has eaten at the table, and agreed to watch a movie. And that singular day where Day did not wallow in his own misery, but left his room, went out in the sun, etc stuck with him because he is in the living room watching a movie the day Phorjai comes to visit.
Culminating in the second real reflection of Episode 2, where Mhok, via the side mirror, sees Day smiling on the back of his scooter. And what I love about this moment is that the focus is entirely on Day. I don’t want Last Twilight to strip Day’s healing processes from him and give them to Mhok. I think it is totally fine for Mhok to contribute to Day’s increasing happiness, but ultimately I want Day to have enough autonomy in this narrative that these decisions that lead to him enjoying his life again are primarily comprised of Day’s own choices. And I think that we can get something visually from that by the fact that we don’t see a lot of Mhok in this reflection, only one small portion of his chin.
Day made the choice to have Phorjai take him to see Mhok, Day made the choice to rehire Mhok, and Day is the one having a moment on the back of this scooter just reveling in the feeling of the wind on his face. I love that this reflection shows just enough of Mhok to show that Day is not alone, while still putting all of the attention in the reflection on to Day and the joy he is feeling.
The idea that Day is no longer alone is reinforced after Mhok makes a pit stop to purchase a companion for the goldfish in Day’s room. And again we get in to some of my favorite instances of reflection in Last Twilight, where we place the boys’ reflections in the fish tank.
And this is where the images from the intro sequence come from. Day looking at Day Noi and Big Mhok interacting with each other in the tank. Here we still have Day alone in the reflection, with the goldfish tying him to this symbolism. But Day’s reflection is so much clearer now that the tank has been cleaned. Now Day’s reflection in the water tank is far more obvious, and hey, since it’s me, I’ll overanalyze this moment to say that as Day has gotten to know Mhok a bit and has started venturing outside of his room more, that Day is getting a clearer vision of himself as a person. Regardless, we as the audience can see Day’s reflection in the tank all the more clearly and that reflection is vibrant and bright, because Day is becoming more vibrant and bright.
“No More Loneliness Little Day” Mhok says and we get MY FAVORITE SHOT OF THE SHOW THUS FAR
The split screen. It’s not even a reflection, but I am talking about it here, because I think the absence of reflection is just as important as its presence, and I love that we have this moment where half of Day’s face is crystal clear and the other half is completely obscured. There is no trace of it. Considering how much Aof has been turning the camera on Day’s vision, we aren’t that far off of what Day sees in this shot. I like that this image has Day straddling these two worlds.
And we get the final reflection of Episode 2, Mhok’s face in the fish tank.
Again, I don’t even know that this is really intentional or it is just the way the reflection happened to have occurred, but I love the fact that not all of Mhok’s face is present within the fish tank. I like that Mhok is slowly encroaching on Day’s space, that Mhok is slowly starting to appear in the parts of Day’s life that Day actually cares about. Mhok is lonely and Day is lonely, and they have finally found someone they might be able to connect to. Big Mhok is there for Day Noi and Mhok is there for Day.
I love that while the fish themselves are able to cross those barriers and that we get to see the fish swimming up and next to each other, that we have yet to see Mhok and Day’s reflections fully together. Even here, Mhok’s reflection in the fish tank is alone, just like Day’s reflection in the fish tank was alone. But they are in the same place, they are in the same room, they are in the same tank, they are in the same stage of their grief (anger) and there is no way in hell we don’t get one or more reflections in the mirror or in the fish tank by the end of this show where Mhok and Day are both fully present.
#last twilight#last twilight the series#last twilight analysis#jimmysea#mhokday#mhok x day#aof noppharnach#gmmtv#thai bl
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"I may be a monster, but if you cut me, I'll bleed. And if you break my heart, Pae, you'll break me. so, if even a sliver of your soul longs for mine, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it."
The way this quote have tow side one that makes you feel so broken and similar.
"I may be a monster, but if you cut me, I'll bleed. And if you break my heart, Pae, you'll break me."
Every time he calls himself a monster, a beast, I just want to hug him and treat him right.
What I love about this part is that he's technically saying that even monsters have a heart and blood, which is something that is never shown in books or shows. He's technically saying, "No matter how dark you think I'm, I'm still human after all."
I wrote something like it before "Why do you always assume the worst of me? I have a heart and a soul too, you know."
I love how my writing and lauren make people understand that no matter how we think of our self or how others do, we still are like them, just shown in an aggressive way.
.......
Then we have the other part that makes your heart melt for the man he is for her.
" If even a sliver of your soul longs for mine, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it."
He promises to love her even if she doesn't commit to him fully. All he asks in return is a gleam of her love.
I want to talk about the use of the word "deserve" in this quote and others in the book, when lauren uses this word as to say that he doesn't want to own her soul forcefully but rather work on himself for her, to have a small part of her.
The use of the word "silver" she used it instead of "gleams" or "small part." She chose this word because she also wants to show that he is longing for a spatial part, not just a part of her soul. Because silver is one of the metals that is rare and spatial in its own way, not to mention it's what she is known by "the silver saviour," her grey "silver" hair.
I love those little parts in writing that make the quote even more beautiful and special to me
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KEIKO Planetarium Live〜Starry Night〜 & Chocolate meating#3〜Starry Night edition〜 Live Report
I experienced so many amazing things during my recent Japan trip but for some reason, this special planetarium event left the most lasting impression so that's why I wanted it to be the topic of my first live report. Below you'll find an abundance of fangirling and mindless blabbering so please brace yourselves! The post will be divided into the following sections to make it easier for you to get through.
General Info
Preface
Merchandise
Venue
Performance
Fan Club Exclusive Part
General Info
Instagram post by Keiko | Tweet by Keiko | Tweet by Yuriko
『KEIKO Planetarium Live ~Starry Night~』 [Date] Sunday, December 17, 2023 [Time] Open 14:30 / Start 15:00 [Ticket fee] 8,000 yen (tax included) [Venue] Konica Minolta Planetaria TOKYO DOME1
FC Exclusive 『Chocolate meating #3 ~Starry Night edition~』 [Date] Sunday, December 17, 2023 [Time] Open 17:00 / Start 17:30 [Ticket fee] 8,500 yen (tax included) ※FC exclusive benefit included [Venue] Konica Minolta Planetaria TOKYO DOME1
Preface
When this was first announced I was devastated because at that time, my trip to Japan was scheduled to end on Dec 14th. But with both Wakana and Keiko announcing solo performances after that day, I was determined to find a way to extend my stay. Initially, I was hesitant because I knew there was no way to change my return flight. I would ultimately lose a significant amount of money and on top of that, I would have to book a new one-way return ticket for a later date which would cost me a fortune as well. After considering all my pros and cons, I ultimately decided to go through with the whole thing because I knew I would probably hate myself forever if I didn't use that opportunity. Of course it also hinged upon whether or not I would manage to get a ticket for the fan club performance in the evening. I knew my chances were super slim due to the tiny venue (~100 people) but luckily, I won a ticket. At that point I knew that I had no excuses not to go XD This is by far one of he craziest and most irrational things I've ever done so for some time I was afraid that I would end up with horrible regrets but I am happy to report that it was worth every penny for me. Not only was Wakana's concert amazing, these two Keiko performances absolutely blew me away with their intimate nature and unique atmosphere. Can you believe that this was actually the first time for me to attend a Keiko solo event? I had purchased streaming tickets for all of her online lives of course but I had never been to an on-site event. And for a while now, I have been asking myself if I would even enjoy a one-man live like that since - as we all know - I am not particularly fond of a lot of her solo releases but, lo and behold, my love for Keiko and her music was 100% reaffirmed. I am so glad that I took the plunge, I couldn't be more grateful to have been able to be there for this amazing experience. On this note, I wanna give a big shout-out to my friend Pae who encouraged me from the get-go to come to the event and who got our tickets for the day performance. It was a general sale on a first come-first serve basis and she really knocked it out of the park with her professional ticket purchasing skills. I definitely could never have done it that quickly so kudos to her. Here's a picture of little old me, Pae and her friend from Thailand.
Merchandise
I wanna take a few moments to talk about the live goods because I am utterly smitten with everything. The acrylic stands and the block are particularly pretty but I am also obsessed with the polaroids. I almost couldn't contain myself and since they didn't have any limits as to how many pieces one person could buy, I naturally went all out. Don't worry, I didn't buy that much since I was still reeling from how expensive it was to extend my trip. Also, I was one of the first few people in line so it would have been rude to buy an excessive amount, there were a ton of other fans around after all, they obviously also wanted to buy a lot of merch. While they prepared plenty of the random polaroid magnets, they unfortunately didn't really bring enough of the acrylic stuff. By the end of the day performance, the acrylic stands were already completely sold out and after the evening performance, the acrylic block was gone too. I guess that means that even if we get an online sale at one point, they will only sell the tote bag and the magnets...or maybe they'll produce another batch of all the acrylic items...We'll have to wait and see...I could see myself buying some more polaroids if they become available online. I only got two pieces with a handwritten message by Keiko so it would be nice to have more. But they are not exactly cheap so I'll have to think about it.
Venue
The venue was...not what I had expected XD. The pictures online of Konica Minolta Planetaria are a bit misleading but I guess that's because they only ever feature Dome 2 and not Dome 1 which is significantly smaller and doesn't have any of the fancy seats. Our seats were little more than reclining beach chairs with a little table but oh well, I didn't come there to be seated comfortably so it didn't bother me too much. At the end of the day, it was a good thing that the dome was so tiny because it made everything feel so much more intimate. And let me tell you, when I say intimate, I mean intimate. I've never ever been this close to Keiko (and I've had my fair share of close encounters with her). There were no assigned seats for the performances, everyone just had a number on their ticket and we were allowed to enter the dome in order of that number. As mentioned earlier, Pae was super fast getting our tickets so we ended up with the numbers 5 to 7, meaning that for the day performance I got a seat right at the front with a clear view of Keiko. There was no stage or anything, just a bit of basic equipment, some microphones and two stools. This meant that there was barely any space between the front row and the artist area (1 metre maybe). Needless to say, I spent the entire time looking at Keiko XD. I almost felt a bit bad because I was missing out on the lovely projections but to be fair, it was actually quite hard to get a good view of them this close to the front so the best option for me was to just stare at Keiko. During the break I bought myself a yummy galaxy donut which was almost too pretty to eat but at that point I was starving so I literally devoured it. For the FC exclusive evening performance I wasn't nearly as lucky when it came to my number. I got #71 so I ended up in one of the last rows unfortunately. From the first performance I knew that Keiko would be entering from the back door on the left side and walk through the audience so I at least made sure to take a seat close to the door so she would walk right past me (which she did so YAY but more on that later). On another positive note, the seat in the back made it possible for me to get fully immersed in the projections without being too distracted by Keiko. It was truly breathtaking to see all these space-themed vivid images across the ceiling.
Performance
It feels like I have already talked so much about the whole thing but I haven't mentioned a single thing about the actual performances so let me rectify that. I've already alluded to it in the beginning of this post, Keiko was absolutely stunning and I am obviously not just talking about her looks. Her vocals were out of this world, every single song of the setlist flattered her so much, there was not a single misplaced note as far as I could tell. Due to the nature of the event, it was of course a very understated performance, there was no wild movement or crazy choreography, it was just Keiko standing/sitting there being illuminated by the tiniest of lights, just enough to still see her but never enough to distract from the visuals. After all, the main focus were supposed to be the projected images and for the most part, that was the case. Only occasionally they would shine some more light on Keiko (mostly during MCs). As you can see below, the setlist was full of ballads and OMG, I couldn't have been happier about that. She sang almost all my faves so I was pretty much in heaven for the first half of the live. Almost started crying during 通り雨 because it was painstakingly beautiful. キミガネムルカラ and 夕顔 were also true gems to experience live, so haunting and mystic. She brought out her brand new guitar for songs #4 to #6 and while I have never been the biggest fan of acoustic guitars, Keiko really managed to make me fall in love with the sound. Both her and her guitarist did a fantastic job arranging and performing these tracks. Also, I was quite surprised to hear Yas Nakajima provide backup vocals for Keiko during Burn In The Wind, their voices match perfectly.
The cover section was admittedly a bit of a let-down for me since the chosen songs are not exactly among my favourites. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy myself or that Keiko didn't deliver the songs flawlessly, it's just that I don't really care all that much for the songs themselves. There were some really gorgeous high notes though so I really can't complain. Speaking of covers, I was super hyped when Keiko announced that she would be singing 風の街へ, a self-cover of her first FictionJunction KEIKO work. I had a feeling she would maybe sing it (since it's obviously a perfect fit for this sort of atmosphere) but Pae kept telling me that it probably wouldn't be happening. Glad I was right about that. During the MC, Keiko was talking about her upcoming single 夕闇のうた so for a while I was sure she would just sing that but she ultimately did not perform it. We got to hear the full version a few days earlier at Kaji Fes. so I wasn't too disappointed that it didn't make it onto the setlist of the planetarium live (also, if I am being honest, the song hasn't really grown on me yet so it's not like I'm dying to hear it again and again). Instead, she chose the song that marked the very beginning of Keiko's journey together with Yuki Kajiura and really, I can never get enough of it. It's one of my very favourite YK x Keiko collaborations and it's always such a pleasure to hear it live. It was only my second time so I couldn't have been more grateful. The final three songs were a nice change of pace with more involvement from the audience and more focus on Keiko rather than the projections. I certainly didn't expect ラテ to make an appearance but with the pretty lights, it worked surprisingly well. The whole thing had a very futuristic feel to it if you know what I mean. ユア has slowly been growing on me and it's just such a feel-good song that I cannot stop vibing with it (similar to Wakana's Happy Hello Day actually). The ending was beyond epic, エンドロール is such a cool song. I just wish I had known the lyrics so I would have been able to sing along properly (I have zero skills when it comes to memorising lyrics) . Keiko tried to prepare us with a few test-runs but I kept mixing up some lines T_T Oh well, I had a blast so that's all that counts! The one thing I felt kinda sad about was the fact that we didn't get an encore but I guess they had to keep the performance short...?
M-1キミガネムルカラ M-2夕顔 M-3通り雨 M-4夜の嘘と M-5Lost M-6Burn In The Wind M-7駅 by 竹内まりや (Cover) M-8ルビーの指環 by 寺尾聰 (Cover) M-9秋桜 by 山口百恵 (Cover) M-10風の街へ (Self-Cover) M-11ラテ M-12ユア M-13エンドロール
Fan Club Exclusive Part
When I entered the dome for the fan club exclusive evening performance, I was given a large envelope by a staff member containing a message card by Keiko. The scan above features the picture which makes up one half of the card. So pretty! (Please keep in mind that this is fan club exclusive!) As mentioned earlier, I had a seat pretty far in the back during this performance, I was still close enough to have a good view of Keiko but I decided to focus on the projections this time around since Keiko jokingly mentioned a couple of times that she felt so many eyes on her and that we should try to enjoy the gorgeous view above as well. With the way she said it, I could tell that she wasn't annoyed or angry about it but she genuinely just wanted us the get the most out of the experience. And yeah, I have to admit, it was amazing to just lean back and watch the gorgeous space visuals while being gently wrapped by Keiko's vocals. Also, for some weird reason, the seats in the back were much more comfortable than the ones in the front row so that made it a lot easier to just relax. The setlist was the exact same and Keiko's performance was just as good. There were some technical issues with the projections at one point so the staff asked Keiko to take a little break and entertain the audience for a while so they could fix the problem. Keiko was really cute during this section because she struggled to come up with something to talk about. All her other MCs had been rather short and straight-to-the-point so there wasn't really anything to talk about. She even admitted that it was quite hard for her to just talk to an audience without having anyone on stage with her to create a sort of a back and forth. Unfortunately, her guitarist was pretty useless in that regard since he didn't feel comfortable at all talking XD Keiko ended up blabbering on and on about the most random stuff and eventually talked a bit about the guitar arrangement for 秋桜 which she found quite impressive. After they had fixed the issue, we went back to the regular program for a couple of songs until Keiko announced that it was time for some special games since this was a fan club event after all. First, we played a few rounds of a Maru-Batsu-Quiz (True-or-False-Quiz). They had prepared some Keiko-trivia questions. Everyone was asked to stand up and with every question people either answered with "true" (fist) or "false" (open hand). Those who answered incorrectly had to sit down so fewer and fewer people remained standing as time went by. Some of the questions were a bit tricky so all you could do was guess. Unfortunately, I wasn't one of the lucky winners at the end. Although I will say that these games are mostly based on trust since you can always pretend to have made the correct gesture or change your gesture in the right moment (it's hard to verify stuff like that). There were a handful of guys who won the first two rounds, they got to walk towards the front and Keiko gave them a little present (some snack souvenirs from the most recent Asia tour-leg, nothing too exciting). Then we were all surprised because for one round the last person standing happened to be none other than Yuriko Kaida. Turns out she had been sitting right behind me all this time (her seat was the closest one to the back door in the very last row). I did not expect her to actually collect her prize (especially since Keiko mentioned that Yuriko had gotten the exact same souvenir in Taiwan) but she did. It was a treat seeing them interact like that. They are so funny together and it was during those moments that you could immediately tell that Keiko became so much more relaxed and talkative once she had someone on-stage with her who she felt comfortable with. As a final game, we did one round of rock-paper-scissors which once again, I wasn't lucky enough to win but I guess it just wasn't meant to be T_T
When the show was over, Keiko walked through the audience towards the door in the back and that's when my seat choice really paid off. She got super close to the people who had an aisle seat, she made eye contact, waved at us and even did little high fives with the one or the other female fan who dared to initiate a gesture like that (of course I didn't because I am too chicken-shit for that). Once Keiko was gone, Yuriko was also ushered outside. Some of us were still hopeful that we would get an encore, especially since they had closed the exit again but alas we didn't get one. However, we were all in for a special treat when it was time to finally get up and leave. When they started playing the usual after-live announcement it was obvious that there wouldn't be an encore so I took my stuff and headed towards the back door which a staff member was just about to open. That's when I realised that Keiko was standing right outside the door, waiting for the audience members to give each one of us a private send-off. This is a common occurrence with fan club events in Japan but I've never had it happen with Keiko before so this was super special. Also, during and even long after the pandemic, situations with close encounters like that were strictly avoided so I didn't really expect them to do a send-off. Seems like we have finally moved past those restrictions! BANZAI! Anyway, I literally froze in place when I saw Keiko standing there because I was scared to be the first one to be greeted by her. I waited a few seconds so a handful of people could walk out before me. This way I was able to observe what other fans were saying to her and how much time the staff allowed each person with Keiko. I know, it probably sounds ridiculous to you but this sort of stuff stresses me out immensely, I prefer to be at least a tiny bit prepared. I was probably the fifth person to walk outside and most people inside the dome were still putting on their clothes or picking up their stuff so there was not really a line behind me or any type of rush. When I got in front of Keiko, we both did the crazy waving thing again while I thanked her for everything. Then I told her that I am always supporting her from Vienna and she was like, "wow, Vienna, so cool!" At that point it would have probably been my turn to step away since I could tell that the staff member next to Keiko was getting antsy and already preparing to ask me to continue walking. But I wanted to use the opportunity to briefly mention my undying love for the beret I had won during a previous fan club event. As you probably all know, this is my most-prized possession. It's a hat previously owned and frequently worn by Keiko herself, she signed it and even wrote my name on it before shipping it out to me. Being as obsessed with Kalafina fashion as I am, I really couldn't have asked for a better gift. Squeezing all those emotions into a single sentence or two was very hard but I tried my best. I had forgotten how to breathe at that point and my voice was getting super weird. I pointed at my hat and hoped that she would even remember that she had given it away. Then I all but squeaked out how grateful I was to win it and that I would treasure it all my life. She also pointed at it with clear recognition on her face (thank God or it would have been embarrassing XD) and told me with the brightest of smiles, "ah yes, yes, I know, that's amazing, I am so happy for you!" Needless to say, that almost killed me 💀I definitely ascended to another plane of existence that day. I didn't wanna push my luck any further so with a final wave I kept walking towards the reception area and thus ended my Keiko Planetarium experience. Even hours after the event, I was still reeling from everything that had happened.
My plane was supposed to leave bright and early the following morning so I did not stick around longer than necessary. I said my goodbyes to a couple of fellow fans and then took off. Some of them wanted to invite me to a small after-dinner-party but I just wouldn't have been able to deal with the stress on the eve of my departure.
All right, that's it, hopefully I didn't forget anything and I didn't bore you to death. Kudos to anyone who managed to make it to the end.
PS: I just wanna say that Keiko is the prettiest human being ever. Every time I see her up-close I'm reminded of her other-worldly beauty. Standing right next to her, it doesn't even feel like she is a real person because everything about her looks so smooth and polished, like someone put a filter on top of her XD
#kalafina#keiko#report#live report#KEIKO Planetarium Live#KEIKO Planetarium Live〜Starry Night〜#Chocolate meating#setlist#fan club exclusive content#long text post#feels blessed
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This is something I feel like I should talk about that makes me so happy the color combos for the channels it just makes me happy like orange and purple, light blue and green, blue and yellow it just makes me smile like an idiot also I just noticed that the acronym for the puppet and eclipse show was paes like pies hehe pie
#sun and moon show#lunar and earth show#puppet and eclipse show#laes lunar#laes earth#sams sun#sams moon#paes puppet#paes eclipse
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RECKLESS - lauren roberts
rating - ★★★★★
“are poets not just fools with fancy words?”
other books ive read by this author - powerless (★★★★★)
final reading time - ten days SPOILERS
Thoughts ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
lauren roberts, the woman you are oml, how do you manage to make me giggle, throw my book at the wall and sob all with a single book. this book was the book to get me out of a huge huge reading slump, like i hadnt read a book fully since like may before this. first off, the writing was so good 😭 like honestly it was so easy to read and i felt so connected to the characters, pae and kai are literally like my lifeline, i also really enjoyed have kitts pov but i’ll talk more about that later. anyways this book was so good my fav of the whole year (so far!) and i cannot wait for the next one!
Characters ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
paedyn gray
UGH MY QUEEN!!! i love pae so much and shes doesnt deserve anything that happened to her ever, it was really interesting to see how her character developed even more and how the games affected her, i really wish we had gotten a scene from her pov after kitt said he wanted to marry her. pae is such a strong character emotionally and physically and seeing her interactions with kai was making me giggle and kick my feet 🥹
kai azer
kai is literally the most down bad guy i know omg, he was literally thirsting for pae the whole book, anyways reading the last chapter from his pov was actually heart wrenching, like when i tell you i was reading through sobs. one thing i really like about kai’s chapters is that i feel very connected to him for some reason? like i really know how he feels and lauren is great at displaying emotions in her books.
kitt azer
ok the only reason i added him is because i actually was starting to feel really bad for him until he pulled that shit at the end, like i really thought he was gonna get a redemption arc at the end. the whole book i just thought he missed his brother and i really liked him in the first book, BUT NOT ANYMORE I HATE THAT BITCH NOW
#jas’s book thoughts ☾#powerless lauren roberts#reckless lauren roberts#lauren roberts#book review#paedyn gray#kai azer#kitt azer
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pae pae, what is one piece of lore you’ve been gate keeping, and why?
pls go on a tangent
Hello love, sorry this took me a little while to get to. Real life :( but in return you get the longest rant I have ever put on tumblr so I hope you are proud of yourself. (Also why have I been keeping it secret? It just hasn’t come up and it is a whole story so buckle up.)
Lore time…
Ok so the lore we are talking about today is Where are the gods??? There were gods but now they are gone. This is broken into 3 events: The Separation, The Dissolution and The Accords (including magestones)
The Past
In the past there were hundreds of gods who roamed the mortal plane. Gods of elements, life and death travelled there to shape the world as they saw it.
As the world developed, the latent simple components of thought and souls began to settle into creatures of the earth.
This created a race of humans, who were the first beings who had souls yet so little innate energy that it would not sustain their bodies forever.
With the rise of humans, Gods of thought and memory grew in power and purpose as more thinking creatures were formed. They had a whole new domain to weave.
The Separation
At this time any magic done by mortals was cast from their own tiny energy store so was small enough to be unnoticeable. The gods intended to keep them to their small powers so that they could never rival the gods in terms of power.
One of the Eldest gods, Ezemhaziel god of controlled magic, traveled the earth trying to create a new way to control magic, the runes. He found a mortal Rin, who seemed to have a talent for magic and a creativity that could help in his work.
Ez created a bond with Rin to share some of his large energy store between them, this is called a Laren bond. Ez later taught him to cast straight from the world around him, similar to how modern mages cast. The pair grew closer and became almost inseparable.
A group of gods watched in disdain as this mortal gained the ability to cast powerful magic. They hated the idea of the narrowing differences between morals and gods, so they decided to remove the threat to their power. These gods gathered and when Rin next left Ez’s side they drew a group of mortals together to kill him.
Rin was attacked by the mortals. He called out to Ez, who came but the gods held him back, and kept him out of Rin’s sight. Rin was killed by the mob. Ez tried to save him with every power he possessed but could not reach him in time. Ez then cursed the gods and the runes and left the mortal plane.
During the encounter Ez pulled so much magic to himself that he formed a concentrated area of Ike, (magic) so much that the mortals could feel the magic that hung in the air around them. These mortals eventually discovered methods to harness the magic around them and became the first druids. Further down the line they also train the first mages. So despite the gods’ efforts (and largely because of them) the mortals get access to more powerful magic. Even though this is all the other gods’ fault, they blame Ez for creating the magic dense area and summon him to a trial.
In his grief Ez does not return to the world so the gods decide that it is reasonable to kill all mortals who have acquired magic and salt the earth where the collection of magic is.
The gods start to go about enacting this, but many other gods are against the idea of culling mortals. This resentment builds especially in gods who rely on mortals as their domain. Gods of memory, thought, fear, illusions and names stand up for the mortals who act as the medium of their power.
The gods who require mortals and therefore prevent the slaughter called themselves the Azeraad, and the gods with no need for mortal creatures label themselves Dieral.
For generations there is a stalemate with a few gods killing and protecting mortals, but most remaining still to prevent a large scale godly war.
The Dissolution
In the decades while the gods watch each other, mortals develop more innovative and powerful magic and build up mage cities. In their development the mages do not forget the massacres that the early Dieral gods committed and plan revenge. They begin work on becoming immortal to further show their power as equals to the gods. Secretly a group develops weapons to use against immortals.
The mage city of Laith���Seyleren is the centre of immortality research and the forefront of magic development when the Dierals finally take notice.
The Dierals break the stalemate to ensure mortals never discover immortality. They destroy the entire city of Laith’Seyleren utterly, no one survives. The other mage cities don’t even find out until a day later when a group of diplomats teleport into a wasteland of rubble and ash.
After this the Mages and the Azeraad gods declare outright war on the Dierals.
The war rages in the deserts to the north west of the Illeri lands with the dieral gods building temples on the mountains to the east and the mages building tall thin mage towers to the west.
Hundreds of mages die in an altogether uneven battle until one mage Muliva Kazi invents a way to bind gods and trap them in Demi-planes then cut the plane off into the aether beyond. This entirely changes the battle as the gods can now be killed. Even the Azeraad gods who fought with the mages were uncomfortable with these machines.
During the battle, a group of mages and Azeraad gods have been working together to end the war but after Kazi’s machines are invented they gain the support of some minor Dieral gods as well.
One member of this group, Paeliae of Laith’Tielere, plans to carry a peace treaty into the temple of the Dieral god of light who leads their forces.
While Paeliae travels through the desert into the walls of godly defences, Ezemhaziel wakes up. He sees the war and the suffering of the mortals and gods and calls on all of the power he could not reach so many years ago to kill the God of light.
He succeeds and takes the fallen god’s seat in the Dieral hall.
Paeliae finds him there and presents him with the treaty. Ez agrees to negotiations of peace and calls the Dierals and Azeraad gods back from the war to meet.
As soon as these words have left Ez’s mouth Paeliae falls to the ground, broken by journey but fulfilled in his purpose. Ez swears one last promise to remember the fallen mortal.
The Accords (Magestones)
The Gods and a collection of mortal mages gather for peace negotiations after years of war.
A compromise is reached where some magic will be bound away so it can no longer be used by the mages or gods.
Magic was bound in giant engraved rocks called magestones. These were made of a translucent stone that glowed and hummed with power. Bindings ran like water across the surface of the stone keeping the magic contained.
Specifically magic relating to immortality, time, and the type of godly binding that Muliva Kazi invented were all collected in magestones so they could not be used again.
Particular war criminals, both gods and mages were also bound in magestones to appease both sides and as a reminder so that a war on this scale would never happen again.
In exchange for the mages giving up large portions of their magic, the gods who fought in the war agreed to leave the mortal plane and return back to their home planes. While in their home planes they can only help their followers indirectly, I.e. creating bonds that are incredibly weak due to the long distance.
Modern Day
So in the modern day the magestones are well established. Mages are taught about the magic restrictions and a few horror stories of people who tried to perform that magic and were absorbed into the magestones. There are a few magestones in Zairel that come up in the Xaeren WIP which is fun.
There are a couple of occasions of gods breaking their pacts and entering the mortal plane and one instance of a god breaking out from a magestone. (He is trapped again eventually, this starts the mist war.) —————————————————————————
Hope you liked the PAGES of lore. There is more but this was already the longest tumblr post I have ever made so that will have to wait.
Tagging the Tag List~ which is new for me:
@thelovelymachinery, @an-indecisive-nerd, @the-letterbox-archives, @oliolioxenfreewrites and @winvyre
#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing community#fantasy worldbuilding#Paeliae rambling#Lore??#From a Paeliae WIP???#Also this post is so long god I rambled.#Hope this is what you wanted Naveena.#It was all for you.#This is my legally mandated one post per month. I will be sleeping now.
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We have no consistency anymore, I swear. This month is bad for the host and one of the cohosts so usually we’d have the other cohost and some helpers around, but currently our other cohost is out of commission since he hasn’t recovered from stuff with our family…and our main gatekeeper hasn’t either. 😅 So now our secondary gatekeeper is running the whole thing and hosting for now is relegated to me, an ex host, an alter who struggles to handle our ADHD and can only front for short periods of time or else the anxiety gets to him, and an alter who has never had a significant connection to our life but is now being forced to care. Talk about a ragtag team, huh? I’m hoping things change sooner rather than later, but until then, I guess I’m back to hosting…and job hunting since our partner and us plan to move soon but need a job secured to actually accomplish that. Totally not a stressful time
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Cul-de-Sac Kids 2
Tanner and Paisley, Olof, and Rowan and Oakley
COMMISSIONS OPENED
Kofi
Character Stats I’ve been meaning to add but forgot and probably won’t get to for a while cause this has already been in my drafts for like 8 months and I wanna post it so here’s a keep reading so that when I eventually edit this it’ll redirect to my blog with the “original” freshly edited post
Tanner
age: 16
he/him…
Number 12 on the [find name for Soccer team]
on the field, Tanner is a bright, confident and competent player, but off the field he is incredibly clumsy
is always finding himself in uncomfortable/awkward situations
is signed up for almost every sport that he can be but the only one he really enjoys is Soccer (partially due to how supportive the team is)
wants to quit but also doesn’t want to disappoint his dad
honestly he’s rather be doing dance with his sister than anymore sports but was shot down by his dad when he brought it up the one time
eventually she realizes she’s a girl but she doesn’t know how to bring it up to her dad- or even if she should at all given his past history reagarding Tanner’s interest in more feminine things
Paisley
Age: 9
she/her
the little sugar plum Princess of fury
In ballet- wants to be a boxer (she doesn’t hate ballet per se- she’s just rather be in the dojo next door)
wants to join the KND but Oakley won’t tell her how to join
Olof
Age: 15
he/him
one of the many grandsons of Sheperd
has a goat named Gloria and a sheep named Cloud
a skilled fiber crafter
stress whittles (carved his own shepherd staff when he was 6)
a cheerful fellow, he could happily spend the day tending to his and his families animals
Hates the texture of dirt (specifically dry dirt, as mud doesn’t seem to bother him,
potential recruit for the Gizmos (if Kaiden can figure out how to convince him that ice skating isn’t that hard or scary)
confident in his skills, but easily flustered by his social feaux paes
Defensive about his “weird” habits (his abnormal strength, love of meat, strange expressions, his old way of dressing, etc)
though he loves his family, he I had mixed feelings on their strange traditions, much to the chagrin of his father
he tends to try and hide it rather than explain it, never inviting people over and even occasionally claiming his fathers an accountant
His sister Heidi (whom he was closest to) felt the same way and ran away when they were 12 (he was 11), never to be seen again
this heartbreak almost divided the family, but they kept it together barely
Operative Numbuh 8642 (Keeper of the Hamsters)
Weapon of Choice: M.I.S.S.O.L.E. (Shoe Gun)
Status: Decommissioned
Recruited alongside Numbuh 2468 (Status: MIA) by Numbuh 88^2 during a rescue mission
Rowan
Age: 15
they/them
constantly spacing out- lives in their own world
sculptor (like scrounding the junkyard for parts for his pieces)
offers strange pieces of advice that 2/3 times work like a charm
stoner buddies with Mason
superhero fan; favorite hero is Rex.
Never seen without their jacket. They supposedly has a tattoo that they’re hiding from their parents but nobody had ever seen it
while they’re not mean to their little brother they arn’t exactly putting much effort into him
They has a deep burning indifference to him, if not a mild irritation
Oakley
Age: 11
talks nonstop (even in his sleep)
Operative Numbuh 1424: Security and Defense Specialist
Weapon of Choice: Custom S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R.
Status: Active
#CN Gen 2#Ed Edd n Eddy#EENE#eene Kevin#Kevin#eene Rolf#Rolf#eene Johnny#Johnny 2x4#Tanner#Paisley#Olof#Rowan#Oakley#Character Sheet#OC Lore#Fankids#TheAngryComet ART#the Cul de Sac#Cul de Sac Kids#Peach Creek#Cartoon Network
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erm pinned post? i guess?
im nafti or pae (use both names and don't capitalize them pls)
21, white, usamerican, jewish
i use any pronouns except she/they. that includes he/him or it/its or any neopronouns. please don't just use he/him (guidelines for non-english languages)
my tags: part 1 (fandoms/interests/hobbies + current/organizational), part 2 (system specific, includes headmate pronouns)
some things i would like my mutuals to tag (like,, some tags i have muted or whatever)
i would like to keep my dni list short so don't cause problems for me please and thank you. just,, have basic morals and treat people with respect and we should be good
hhhh what else
i'm big autism. i really like nonhuman primates. gorillas are my favorite but i like them all. i'm so autistic about them please talk to me about them. don't show me pet primates tho. because that's bad (see infographic at the bottom)
i'm also plural. praesigenic (which essentially means i'm not disclosing the origin of my plurality because it's not your business).
another note: i do not write image descriptions for reasons related to my own disability. however if someone happens to write one on my post i will edit the original post to include that description
here's xhabu
credit for the stamp at the top
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DITTO - do you want somebody? like i want somebody?
CHAPTER ONE - STAY IN THE MIDDLE
pairing :: riki x fem!idol!reader
synopsis :: yn, the leader of girl group trio ATTRACTION, has a major crush on ENHYPEN’s maknae, nishimura riki, since before her debut in 2022. she related to him, confided in his photocards, and befriended the idea of him, so much so that she fell in love with someone who barely knew of her. when she debuts under the same label as him, HYBE, the tables start to turn when she starts to realize that who he is isn’t the same person she fell in love with, all while nishimura riki starts to fall for her. what could possibly go wrong?
word count :: ~1.2k
warnings :: mention of food, mention of death, ugh omg mention of the gym, that’s pretty much i think
previous masterlist next
“hello, everyone!” yn sung, setting the camera on the kitchen island. she was making a quick breakfast for herself before heading out for the gym- the clock was in frame, showing both hands on the six. “i’m heading out to the HYBE gym before promos start,” she was filling up her black water bottle before stuffing it into the duffel bag that ENHYPEN had gifted her.
“i thought it would be cool to vlog it a bit, and have a short q and a kinda video as well! pae-ri unnie and sungie are gonna have their own videos on this as well! but they’re filming later in the week.” she explained.
she cracked a few eggs in a bowl, beating them lightly with a fork and hadding small bits of meat and seasoning. she put a lightly oiled frying pan onto the lit stove, waiting for it to heat up before adding her eggs and letting them cook a little before scrambling them with a spatula. ditto was playing in the background, and she was humming to it while spreading butter onto her toast.
“for the q and a session type thing, our label prepared a set of questions from some of the comments you guys have left onto our posts and videos, as well as general ‘get to know me’ questions from the interweb. there are like- how many questions are there?” she asked off-camera, nodding when someone said something. “ok, there are like twenty or so questions, and i’ll be answering them in the car!”
she plated the eggs into a few plates, handing out the breakfast to the staff that were in the dorm off camera, and sat her own plate down on the dinner table, pouring herself a glass of apple juice. she forked some of the eggs into her mouth, covering her mouth while chewing. yn quietly ate her toast, not talking that much, just scrolling through her phone, answering a few texts. she didn’t talk much while she ate, because she considered talking while eating to be rude. she made a mental note to ask the editors to play some soft music on the background during this section of the vlog.
she turned the camera off after she finished eating, and put her dishes in the sink, bowing once towards the staff before picking up her duffel bag and leaving the kitchen. she had already called a car from HYBE before she started on breakfast, because the dorm was a bit farther away from the company building, on foot at least. once confirming the car was downstairs, she slipped on her shoes and went downstairs, turning the camera on in the process.
“ok, so it’s around six forty-five right now, and i should be getting to the company building in around fifteen or so minutes. i’ve got the questions here with me-” she waved her phone in front of the camera. “-so we’re gonna answer as soon as i get into the car,”
after a minute or two after settling in, she set the camera onto the seat in front of her, adjusting the tripod so that she would be fully in frame.
she scrolled through the pre-prepared questions, answering some basic questions about the group that were asked in the comments and such, before heading into the personal questions that she wanted to answer.
“ok, soooooooooooo- how old are you? ok, so i was born in ‘06, so i’m 16 internationally- my birthday is in the latter half of the year- but i’m 18 in korea. it’s a little confusing, but yea. i actually kinda ‘go by’ my international age, because i didn’t grow up in korea, but my korean age is on my local legal documents, but my international age on all of my international legal documents, if that makes any sense,” she tried to explain, knowing full well that the editors would just zoom in with a bunch of question marks around her figure. she paused for a moment, letting the words sink in. “ok, yea, that doesn’t make sense, but- meh,” she lifted up her hand, palm facing downwards, tilting it up from each side.
“ok, next question! did you always want to be an idol? yah, this is a good question! uh, yes and no? so, i grew up in australia, and i wasn’t really exposed to idol culture, i guess you could say. like, my parents didn’t force me to listen to kpop or watch kdramas and stuff, so i didn’t even know what idol culture was in korea. but but but, i did love music, like singing and writing and producing songs was my thing back in middle school! my best friends and i started, like, a girl rock band that was called mgk, and then in parentheses (not machine gun kelly)!” yn giggled, remembering the fond memories. “it was honestly so much fun, we decided to keep the acronyms as random food items that we loved! i was korean, and one of them was korean-japanese, and the other was japanese- it was just us three-, so the acronyms stood for miso, gochugaru, and kimchi! we were the asian-australian girls of our school, so we just naturally became close friends because of that,” yn smiled.
“unfortunately, the group had to disband when we were around 13-14, because our japanese friend passed away due to a complicated heart condition,” yn continued, looking out of the window. “i miss her a lot,”
“but yes! back to the question! um, so i didn’t always want to be an idol, but i kinda got exposed to idol culture about two years ago, when i-LAND started to air. the reason i started watching it was because i heard that an australian dude from brisbane was gonna be on the show, so i kinda had to watch it, because obviously. i started getting into kpop then, and then i randomly went up to my parents one day and was like, “eomma, appa, i wanna become an idol!” and they just made a face like-” she tried making the face, but was unsuccessful, erupting into giggles. “but yea! they were super chill about it, and enrolled me into dance classes in brisbane until middle school ended, and then helped me move to korea for proper training. i lived with my halmeoni, and now i live in the dorms! i visit australia as much as i can, but that isn’t very often, because i was super busy as a trainee and now since i’ve debuted, they’ll become even less frequent. but my parents visit a lot, usually ever other month, so i spend time with them then! so, uh, shoutout to jake sunbaenim from ENHYPEN for being the reason i’m an idol today, i think?”
“ok next questio- oh i’m at the company building!” she picked up the tripod, and panned the camera to show the building that was out of the window.
yn picked up her things and left the car after thanking the driver. she balanced the tripod in her laft hand, while throwing her cap on and shoving the duffle bag onto her left shoulder. “ok, i’m going in! i’ll turn the camera back on when i’m inside the gym area,”
she turned the camera off and walked inside, her running shoes squeaking against the marble tiling of the lobby. she smiled at the receptionist, explaining that she was here for the gym, and fished around for her id from her wallet when she needed to sign in.
she rushed to the elevator, hitting the button for the 6th floor gym- which was arguably one of the better ones- and waited patiently for her floor while listening to cliche elevator music. the elevator stopped at the fourth floor, the door’s opening to reveal-
“oh! anneyoung!” yn bowed at the young men in front of, which were three members of ENHYPEN.
“anneyoung, yn!” jay oppa smiled, bowing his head a little as well, nudging sunghoon and riki to do so as well. “heading towards the gym?”
“yep! wanted to some cardio done before promos start at nine,” she explained, shuffling a little to side to allow the three males into the small space.
“ahh, ok,”
there was a bit of awkward silence, so yn thanked whatever deity was up there when the doors opened to the sixth floor. the boys let her out first, and she thanked them, rushing to the gym doors, inserting her company card to let her in.
she dropped her gym bag on a plastic seat, getting her water bottle out, and removed her rings and bracelets, shoving them into a small pocket inside of the duffle. she headed to the treadmill, setting up her camera in front of the machine, and started at a slow jog, putting her headphones on her head. after a bit or so, she kept on increasing the speed, eventually setting at a fast run.
it continued like that for about a half hour or so, before jay joined her on the neighboring treadmill, flashing a peace sign at the camera when yn pointed it at him.
taglist (open!) :: @acousticking @mitsukifilms @hyem1ngyu @loveliii @ahnneyong @azngamis-blog @hanniluvi @heesitation @brahms-heelshit@mirakura @adeolalily13 @sunoozz @enwlrd @3chae @bucketofhiros @ilovewonyo @jaxavance @calijimenez @adajoemaya @judeduartwannabe @heartwonder @wonypop @dimplewonie @coalalalinha @rikimylove @jamaisunoo @sd211 @aki1e @asapia @simeonswhore @bougiesunoo @hatdugin @cass1814 @ilvsoup @nia-xxx @byhsng @soobnism @futuristicpiepsychicalmond @nuoyishi @akashisthighs @facelesswrittes @tinie03 @noiacha @mmaplepastries @curly-fr13s @sweetjaemss @lcv3lies @nikiluvs @urszn @kittyeij @jeonsy98 @sserafimez @j-wyoung (CLOSING SOON)
lu speaks :: hello everyone !!! this was such a delayed chapter omg but like. so much stuff happened. my sister got married in october of last year and she then moved abroad w her husband and she visited for the first time like two weeks ago !!! it was really fun she left yesterday so i’m really emo lol OH AND ON TOP OF THAT I’VE CAUGHT A STOMACH BUG ???? like it’s really bad and i still have it and it’s just. really bad :( but yes i managed to get this out and i know it’s really bad but pls bare with me !!! i’m gonna try to write another chapter sometime this week but i have my mocks coming up so that’s gonna be. so much fun 🙂🔫 n e wayz i’ll see yall soon !!! make sure to apply for the taglist for ditto bcs it’s closing soon !!! also omg jungwon bb ur 19 !!!!
#lu's work#niki#enhypen niki#niki enhypen#nishimura riki#riki x reader#riki imagines#nik x reader#niki imagines#enhypen#enhypen fic#niki fic#riki fic#enhypen x reader#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfiction#riki fanfiction#enhypen riki#enhypen heesung#enhypen jay#enhypen jake#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen sunoo#enhypen jungwon#newjeans#newjeans hanni#newjeans minji
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