#padme is pregnant

[intermundia]

this production still of hayden on the set of bail organa's ship really belongs to an AU where anakin did not fall to the dark side and left coruscant with padmé during order 66, meeting up with obi-wan and yoda on bail's ship after the other jedi have fallen

[izloveshorses]

like. imagine being a Normal Citizen in a galaxy far far away during revenge of the sith. like. you're scrolling on your holonet and not only has the chancelor been promoted to emperor (hello??), a senator (you follow fan pages of her for fashion inspo) has DIED suddenly AND it's revealed she was PREGNANT !!!!!!?? the whole time??? but who was the father?? was she married?? how did she die??? as far as you know she was young and healthy and unmarried, so like?? the girls and their speculations and their memes would've been insane on the holonet dashboard that week fr

[shapelytimber]

not sure if you've answered this before but for the sapphic au... how did leia and luke get made if their parents are both cis ? are they force babies, created by anakin meddling with the force just as sidious did and thereby killing padme? or maybe they just went to star wars sperm bank idk. desperately curious to see if you have an explanation in mind or if they just kind of popped into existence (sorry I just get wrapped up in silly details with everything)

Oh am I glad you asked !

Only hole in my flawless explanation..... There is no way in hell Anakin in topping regularly in this relationship. So gotta assume the moment they tried to switch it up a bit they got magic stap babies.

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: *dragging Cody eagerly into the room while holding his hand* Guys, I have super important news! Cody and I are getting married!

Anakin: …oh? I mean… I guess it’s about time. I don’t know if I can bring the twins, will we have to get a babysitter for them?

Obi-Wan: Absolutely not, that’s free baby-holding hours and I’m not letting you cut them!

Cody: What do you mean it’s about time?

Rex: Well, the war’s been over nearly eight months. We just expected you two to tie the knot sooner.

Ahsoka: I mean, you already live together. The 212th kept your… dalliances quiet, through the war because they didn’t want the higher ups to break you guys up.

Anakin: Honestly, I’m a bit disappointed. I had money on you guys getting married no less than a week after the war.

Obi-Wan: Dalliances??

Rex: ??? Yeah?? You two aren’t very subtle, Cody didn’t even try sneaking out of your room after!

Obi-Wan: *looks at Cody in worry* Cody, why would you have to sneak out of our room? That’s where you sleep?

Cody: ??? I don’t know? The quartermaster said it was okay if we slept in the same room.

Obi-Wan: What’s wrong with Cody and I sharing a room?

Anakin: …remember when I was fourteen and you told me where babies come from?

Obi-Wan: …yes?

Anakin: ??? That????

Obi-Wan: …but we weren’t trying to make babies?

Cody: Do we even have the right parts to do that?

Obi-Wan: I think I have the carrier parts but I stopped checking if they worked a while back.

Anakin: WERE YOU TWO NOT HAVING SEX???

Obi-Wan: Oh gross!

Cody: 🤢

Rex: WHY WERE YOU TWO SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM????

Obi-Wan: BECAUSE WE COULDNT TRUST EACH OTHER NOT TO ACTUALLY SLEEP ON OUR OWN AND IT WAS NICER!

Ahsoka: Why are you two getting married now??

Obi-Wan: I don’t know TAX BENEFITS AND SHIT we’re in LOVE fuck off!

Cody: Oh gross you guys really just assume we naked touched???

Anakin: oh my god. What was your exact marriage idea composed of?? Tell me right this second!

Obi-Wan: um??? We said we wanted to be a family and raise some padawans together???

Anakin: *starts dragging Obi-Wan off to the bathroom* You’re taking a pregnancy test right this second, you chose the wrong wording! Every time someone I love is asexual or a top the force shoves a baby in them!

Obi-Wan: oh my god

[qu4kerider]

“I don't know you anymore. Anakin, you're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow!”

STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH & ARCANE S02E03

[fangirlforeversthings]

Attack of the clones belongs to the girls.❤🌸🌅

[here-comes-the-moose]

Okay so as someone who studied polisci and has many family members who believe some conspiracy theories (myself included) I have a serious question for the Star Wars fandom:

How many conspiracy theories do we think there were in-universe after Padme’s death?

[stealingpotatoes]

your "anakin is making IEDs out of kitchen appliances" post reminded me of this, idk exactly what the joke is but there's definitely some sort of joke connecting them

LMAO Jedi news bulletin gets sent out that Anakin's making IUDs, everyone just thinks he's being really proactive about the no attachments thing and nobody thinks its a spelling mistake

[aspic31]

[wryipwryip]

Padme isnt taking any crap from separatists when she's full term with twins

[obi-wann-cannoli]

Okay so I do love the Revenge of the Sith novelization (and movie) but damn is it clear they were written by someone with zero knowledge of pregnancy.

The novelization makes it clear that having a child would spell disaster for *both* padme and anakin’s careers yet abortion is never once considered (not even a ‘kids on the future after war is over and we’re out of the spotlight’). Plus the whole twins being a surprise like Padme (senator and wealthy person) never went to an obgyn.

I know this is a product of its time kinda thing where abortion is not usually discussed but the twins thing always drives me insane. How was this a surprise??

[risingmoonyue]

Clone wars AU where the chips never got activated. In the aftermath of Palpatine’s death, the troopers are so horrified by the thought of Order 66 that they go hole up in Kamino. The Jedi let them do it for a few weeks while they’re unfortunately too busy cleaning up the mess, but then they just,,,,, camp outside their front door. For months. The clones will not outstubborn them this time, no sir. They brought umbrellas, food, books, and lots and lots of tea. So much tea. Soon they’re having little mini festival days waiting for the clones to come out already. It is very confusing for the vode.

On one hand, order 66. Chips. Horror. Their life is even more of a lie, they don't want to hurt the jedi, they're ashamed of essentially being a Trojan horse to the Jedi.

On the other hand, apparently the jedi are all idiots who camp out in the ever pouring rain and are they building a mini temple on our front porch??????

[tennessoui]

the to the point of distraction au is incredible and i have so many thoughts,,, is tatooine working on taking down any of the other hutt systems, and are maybe trying to like, seduce the jedi and the sith back to see who will help their anti-slavery quest??? is kitster like, making fun of anakin in the evenings while they watch their coruscanti day time holos together? is obi-wan gonna be the jealous one this time?

oooohoho good thoughts!! to address in order,

i think any new kingdom of tatooine is going to have to eventually take down the other hutt systems, but also they'll need to strengthen themselves first - which is probably why shmi is entertaining both the jedi and the sith right now for sure. if neither faction feels good to her, she'd be fine going alone, it'd just be quicker to allow one to help her.

kitster and anakin definitely get together at night and kitster drags anakin for filth over all the shit he's said or done with darth solence because it's genuinely hilarious. kitster's never really seen anakin like this with anyone. half the time he's mooning over solence and the other half he's trying to stab him with a knife. kitster was half afraid anakin would stab him with a knife during a banquet where darth solence had, apparently, remembered his mission and was showering kitster-who-is-pretending-to-be-prince-skywalker in attention and flirty asides

which brings me to the last point where honestly i think my understanding of anakin's character in general is that he's jealous. or greedy. or possessive, which is why it shows up in my works so much. i think he's irrationally jealous a lot which then sneaks into his narrative when i write things from his perspective. im sure people are sick and tired of this facet of my anakins, but honestly it's one of the things that, for me, make his character read as a version of anakin skywalker, despite the crazy situations i put him in. sorry!

at the same time i really don't see obi-wan kenobi's character having that same nugget of irrational jealousy or greed or possessiveness that i see anakin skywalker having and that's why a lot of my fics have elements of jealous anakin but not jealous obi-wan - jealous/possessive obi-wan is more au dependent than essential to the character for me

that all being said, for this au i do think obi-wan would be jealous or possessive - after all, he's Fallen! He's dark! he can allow his jealousy to run rampant! now...how many situations crop up where he can really be jealous or possessive? like it's not kitster the manservant that anyone's trying to seduce, it's the prince! obi-wan's kitster isn't in the line of fire, so to speak, so while i'm sure there are moments where obi-wan feels that sweet sweet green-eyed monster, the plotty identity shenanigans really thwart more openly jealous obi-wan here

[gil-estel]

sure we've all heard the theory that palpatine is anakin's """father"""", but the acolyte raises the possibility, "what if palpatine was Luke and Leia's """""father""""?"

[thesoundofchains]

Anakin was so paranoid over his visions of Padme dying that he never once considered that she was perfectly healthy the entire time.

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

my agenda is to normalise alienfucking in the gffa to the point where it’s just fucking

no one is pure human, so it’s just a case of what kind of weird genitals you have rather than having to worry about people finding it weird that you have horns on your dick from your zabrak ancestor

sex safety is a whole different ballgame (heh), with different prophylactic shields that are adaptable, considering you don’t know who you’ll pick up and what they’re going to have going on down there.

quinlan, as a frequent flier with complex needs due to psychometry has an actual forcefield for his downstairs mixup powered by a kyber crystal (that he keeps in his belly button ring) which also hooks up to his prosthetic dick when he wants to bring that out to play. Obi-Wan prefers the spray on ‘bio shield’, because it’s more subtle to simply carry a canister and refills in his robes and obi, and it doesn’t vibrate weirdly (he is also more sensitive to kyber crystals talking to him, and he does not want to hear kyber chatter during sex).

quinlan fucked mas amedda once but he regretted that decision ever since (he’s hot as sin but at what cost?!)

mij gilamar’s beautiful dead wife (rip) was a wooky

luminara unduli has a queerplatonic relationship with a droid who works in the archives

lando calrissian has fucked han, luke, leia and chewbacca (and max rebo!)

plo koon is considered one of the sexiest jedi and consistently gets asked to pose in calendars, along with oppo rancisis, whose tail has a cult following

this is gffa where the peli motto lifestyle is the norm, if you get what I’m saying. it’s very important to me that you understand

jar jar binks— *shots fired*