#overwatch text

[wormzandgutz]

Hello spacerocks community

[wowwforever]

looking at roadhog r34 but shaking my head so people know i don't support overwatch

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

open up the door, can you

[rubensmuse]

We here on tumblr.gov sure get into a lot of tiffs over what does and does not constitute monsterfucking. And the moment I laid eyes on this post, I knew I was gonna have to press-gang my bestie into creating this, our finest work,

The Monsterfucker Iceberg

@tinynaught pulled most of the names and did the initial sorting; I helped flesh it out and created the finished product. Feel free to fight amongst yourselves.

Order is based entirely on the looks you would get telling people you wanna fuck that; logistics were not strictly taken into account.

[lovewillabides]

mirrorwatch

[saewokhrisz]

at the university....

[ultravioart]

How could they pull from Scottish punks and end up at that final result? Not even a pseudo kilt silhouette like how Kiriko has a pseudo Miko Shrine Maiden garments silhouette? Hazard should have had pushed shapes (sell the turtle aspect more, add more spikes) and more body mods (funky prosthesis or punk body mods, the lizard/snake man punks are free inspo).

For a punk 'freak' hero that uses bright graffiti, his design is much too plain and 'safe' imo, not colorful enough. I much prefer that cartoon icon we saw in Venture's trial because he does look really punk with a metal jaw and green hair, possibly cool yellow shades too?

When I first saw Hazard's official design I honestly thought it was a Rein skin. I just hope future skins for Hazard are more punky. JunkerQueen and Zarya both have rather punk-y skins, and Lucio has a concept art based skin, so I am hoping for something more "out there" and fun for Hazard.

Punk is not, and has not, ever been 'conventionally attractive and palatable' and with Hazard's backstory, him being intentionally 'outlandish' would have only reinforced his outlook and story.

Like, people don't love Rein because he's eye candy, they like the hero fantasy of a big knight, being a shield, that he fights for others bravely. People don't love Doomfist because he's eye candy, they love him because his mechanics are hard to perfect but rewarding to land, and his sophisticated antagonist plotline is super engaging, and the hero fantasy of a big powerful genius with a giant fist is badass!

But Hazard? He's eye candy, sure. Got some piercings, but so does JunkerQueen. Plain black leather jacket and pants... okay but Young Cass and Ashe in general do that too. Hell, a young Tracer(in the comics she had a very punk hairstyle) was way more punk than Haz was as a teen. I don't understand why they didn't PUSH his punk design further, when we have characters like Roadhog and JunkerQueen on the roster already. Hazard is very conventional for an overwatch design, he looks like he could be a side character in a gang instead of a main hero... Boomslang(viper Phreaks member) atleast has interesting shapes on her design! The Junkers are scrappy and DIY-low end tech (scrap guns, explosives, knives) survivalists, so imo the Phreaks could have been like a Sombra-version of Junkers, cyberpunk but WAY WAAAAY more out there with wild body mods and DIY high end tech (plasma weapons, energy swords, multiple arms, etc). I did peep a retractable energy sword from Hazard in the cinematic but why not just build a nonretractable sword into his base design instead? He already has a gun arm (like Orisa).

I really do think the metal jaw would have made Hazard instantly recognizable, but man, atleast keep the toxic green spiky hair!!! Haz is brunette, so why choose blonde as the 'punk' color when his body shape is already so similar to Reinhardt? Doomfist already has a "one arm is a weapon" so that's not Hazard's iconic detail, Mauga is already shirtless so that's out as an iconic detail, and the crystal spikes aren't nearly present enough in his design to make it out like that is his iconic 'thing' imo. Meanwhile, look at JunkerQueen: she is somehow MORE punk than Hazard who is intentionally being punk. And even then, I think people forget JunkerQueen has mag tornado powers in her gauntlet. Many Overwatch 2 heroes struggle with visually telling the players what a hero is/does via the design. And don't even get me started on Venture's nonsensical jacket design lol. Juno and Hazard feel like the designs where 'simplified' from concept art so that making skins for them would be easier. Juno looked better with the armor pieces, and Hazard would look better with green hair and a metal jaw.

[opulentlightt]

Errrr uhh based off that one audio

[svmbiotic]

#IfHeDiesHeDies

[lochyard]

[dr-spectre]

Ranting about Salmon Run...

As someone who loves this mode and thinks it's the best multiplayer mode in Splatoon 3. The scale system in it is dogshit and needs to change in the next game. It's genuinely awful and terrible game design in my opinion.

In order to get scales you must encounter a King Salmonid, the amount of scales you get is determined by your current rank and if you win or lose. Now to even get to a King Salmonid, you must do several matches to increase the chance of encountering one. Guess how long each Salmon Run match is... 300 seconds/5 minutes. Actually it's a little bit longer than that because you have to take into account queuing times, the wait time at the start of the match and the 10 seconds you get to prepare in each round.

Let's say you need to do 5 matches to even encounter the King Salmonid, you have to go through a little over 25 to 30 MINUTES to get a CHANCE to fight the king. AND GUESS WHAT! EVEN IF THE ICON IS FULL! THERE'S STILL A CHANCE YOU WON'T EVEN GET TO FIGHT A KING!!! WHY!??!? WHY IS IT LIKE THAT!??! I WENT THROUGH 5 MATCHES WHEN THE BAR WAS FULL AND YET I DIDN'T ENCOUNTER A KING AT ALL!!!! IT WAS A GIANT WASTE OF TIME!!!!!! (aside from ability chunks i guess) I GOT OTHER GAMES TO PLAY!!!!!

This icon is a fucking lie, a god damn lie i tell you! Even if it's full, your other teammates have to have theirs full as well apparently. So.. YAY! AWESOME! ughhhh........

Now let's talk about when you actually get the scales, there's a very high chance you will get barely any scales because you lost and you're in a low rank, OR, you won't get a single gold scale for several Xtrawaves. Meaning you have to go through the process of building up the meter again and again AND AGAIN to get a chance to get a single fucking gold scale. Do you see the issue here? The insanely long grind? It's fucking horrible.

Oh yeah and by the way, the chance of you getting a gold scale gets higher when you're in a higher rank, however this becomes an issue when you realise that the higher ranks are REALLY REALLY hard and it's near impossible to make it to the Xtrawave unless you have an amazing team. So yeah, good luck trying to maintain a high rank and actually beat the King Salmonid to get a chance of getting a gold scale!!!!!!!

Man... This is giving me a god damn headache.

Now, let's talk about the rewards you get. I'm gonna come right out and say it, you are never EVER getting any of these rewards.

Unless you actually hack the game or you abandon every aspect of your life just to get a bunch of fucking pngs for your splashtag, you will never EVER EVER EVER GET THEM! They are flat out impossible and if you see someone have any of these, they are a hacker and need to get reported.

And the gear that people actually want, well... LOOK AT THIS!

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY 800 BRONZE SCALE ITEMS!??! WHY?!?!?! WHYYYY?!!?!? Sometimes in Xtrawaves you may not even get 10 OF THESE! SO WHY MAKE IT TO WHERE MOST OF THE GEAR PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT 800 GOD DAMN SCALES??!? If you got like 30 or 50 each time then maybe it would make sense, BUT NO! IT'S LIKE 5 TO 12!! WHYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been playing this game since launch and i only have the Octoleet Armor. THAT IS IT! There is a difference between rewarding the player and just doing monotonous grinding.

I am glad that Splatoon doesn't do what other games do nowadays and just has microtransactions to skip through grinding and pay an insane fee for currency. But like... Overwatch 2 is less grindy than this, you can comfortably get skins in that game for characters you like just by doing challenges and playing a bit of the game every day, and that game has SKINS THAT COST 58 BUCKS AUD!

That's all i wanted to say, I'm getting a headache just typing this because my god man, this is just awful game design and a poor way of rewarding the player and keeping retention time. Truly awful.

[retquits]

Went down a rabbit hole looking back at your Overwatch stuff since I just found you again (I'm pretty sure I followed you before, but I wasn't???) Do you still play?

wow!!! yeah it's been a long long time since i drew overwatch art regularly, hi!

yes i do still play regularly!! it's actually my go-to game for bad adhd days/sleepy days since it engages my brain so well ( ＞︿＜)💦

[commoncorps3]

fuck blizzard and fuck overwatch 2 but venture, lifeweaver, and ramattra are precious to me

[kwyoz]

the fact mostly everybody is upset with the style of the new trailer and im just like YIPPEE

[lovewillabides]

vengeance

[nobelity]

apparently hazard is canonically in a relationship with suzy, the omnic featured in his trailer.

gonna be honest i *really* thought he was gonna be revealed to be gay, though this doesn’t mean he’s not queer!

i hope people make wonderful fanarts of these two