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Who said I’m done? - says someone who’s tpn brain rotting
#tpn scarlet#tpn manga#sister scarlet#tpn sisters#tpn fanart#tpn#Yu’s 🌕#digital art#WE WERE SO ROBBED.#I wanted to see her and the others animated#sighs#adapt#improve#overcome ig#I honestly need to see them when they’re younger#the brutality of the system and the effects of it??#yes. that’s what we wanted#what I WANTED.#we all deserve better
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MARRIAGE COUNSELING W ART PLEASEEEEEEEE GOD THE DEVASTATION THAT TAKES PLACE ON THAT COUCH
i think about it alot. tashi staying with patrick, her injury never happening. your arts college girlfriend and now you're married and it feels fucking stagnant, your relationship. but neither of you wants to give up. neither of you wants to reveal to the other true feelings.
under the cut because this got long and i have a whole au in my hear around this concept
you're only in counseling because of tashi. because shes still in your lives, her and patrick. and she recommended it to art when they were having one of their 'friend' lunches. and now here you are, because of course art took her advice.
he hasn't said anything, though. despite pleading for this. saying he wanted to save your marriage, that he wanted to love you how you should be loved but he didn't know how.
so here you are, on opposite ends of the couch, with the counselor staring at the empty space between you like that in itself is very telling. you suppose it is, in a way. couples who want to stay together should be unified, shouldn't they? you imagine how it would feel, if art had sat next to you. put an arm around you. squeezed you to his side. would you even be able to relax into him? its been so long since you touched eachother that way.
"so im picking up on some distance here," your therapist says. shes a small woman. almost swallowed by her chair. her glasses are perched on her nose as she gazes imperiously at empty space separating you and art. "not just physical either, though thats rather obviously there. but emotional distance. do either of you wanna comment on that?"
you cut a glance at art, expecting him to speak up since this was his idea - well. tashi's. but he just looks down at his lap, quiet. spins his wedding band around his finger.
you feel an anger so intense it pricks your eyes with tears.
"well, i guess you could start with the fact that coming here wasn't even either of our idea. it was his friends."
and now. here art speaks. his head jerks up and she shoots you an annoyed look. "you don't have to say it like that. you always say it like that. her name is tashi and she is my friend. and it was her suggestion, yeah, but it was a good one."
you look at the therapist - janet. raise your eyebrows in arts direction like, get a load of this guy. your legs cross and you start picking at a stray string from the couch.
"first words of the session and its to talk about another woman."
arts inhale is sharp and you can feel his eyes on you but you dont look at him. you can't. you wont. you're right, anyway. he can try to deny it all he wants but you know - you know what you are to him. you know where all your problems stem. you dont need to be here to make any grand discoveries over a fact you've resigned yourself too.
"i see." janet says. "and art having a relationship with this other woman upsets you."
"everything upsets her." art cuts in, sounding tired. his elbow is braced on the arm of the couch and hes chewing on his thumb in one of his nervous gestures. he always did that, as long as you've known him. he was a nail biter, he'd chew his lips raw, he'd nibble on straws, the ends of his pens. he was either lost in thought or agitated. your guess was the latter. "nothing i do makes her happy."
"is this true? are you unhappy with art?"
your skin feels hot. you shift around in your seat. the attention is all on you, and it feels like you've done something wrong, even though you know its literally janets job to ask questions.
"more like i know I'm not what he wants and that makes me...... really fucking sad."
art knees almost knock against yours as he turns his body to face you, giving you his full attention the first time today. you cant meet his eyes still, so you look at the faded spot on his jeans. light blue, like his eyes. you wonder how hes looking at you. cant make yourself look up to see.
"what." he stops. seems to gather some thoughts. tries again, with a steadier tone. "what are you talking about."
you try not to roll your eyes. your arm flings out limply.
"just that this whole thing is a joke, art." and you let out an exasperated laugh, even though nothing is funny. nothing has been funny or light between you two in a long time. "we're only here because the girl you really wanted to marry, told you to get your fucking shit together. you didn't ask us to come here because you wanted to mend something, you're here to please tashi. because if playing a good husband is a role she wants for you - well, you want to play it right, dont you?"
its quiet after that. in the silence you cant help but think about those early days. when you'd been full of love and light and art seemed to be really happy with you. you'd go on dates to the movies, walk through the park together with your hands swinging between you. laugh together and steal kisses whenever you could. you felt high back then.
it didn't even matter that art had a crush on tashi, because hell, you had one too, at the time. but she'd started dating patrick, and they seemed to mesh well together. they were both so intense and passionate. back then, you'd been alot closer to tashi yourself. patrick too. you remember the way she'd rant about how much she fucking hated him, pacing around your room and calling him every name under the sun. and you'd sit there with eager curiosity, and ask her why she didn't end it then. if he makes you so angry, why stay?
and she'd get this faraway look in her eyes. kind of wistful. kind of sad. kind of happy.
"because he makes me feel fucking alive. hes like a - like a drug or something. i cant quit. its addictive, you know?"
that stuck with you. it still sticks with you. you remember being envious of that kind of passion. youe relationship with art had always been so easy. you dont think you'd ever fought by that point. you loved art. you felt safe with art. but were you addicted to him? if you broke up - would you feel withdrawal symptoms?
sometimes you layed awake at night and thought about starting a fight - breaking up for no reason. just to see if he'd fight for you back, if the missing of eachother would be so intense one of you would cave.
but somehow you knew that wouldn't be the case. thats just not how you and art operated. if you got angry, he wouldn't rise to meet you, he'd back down. if you ended things, he wouldn't chase you, he'd let you go.
patrick and tashi were fire and brimstone and you and art was ice and you were....... dirt. solid. walked upon. dependable and not at all exciting.
when art had proposed to you after college graduation it wasn't spur of the moment as it had been with patrick when he'd swept tashi up with a ring and a elopement to vegas. it was talked about and agreed upon and you knew it was coming.
you still said yes.
"you think," and arts voice has a barely concealed tremble to it that makes you look up, finally. you're shocked to see he looks wounded. so many of his expressions you can count on one hand - and this - this wasn't one of them. his eyes are dark, stormy. "you think i dont care about our marriage beyond what someone else has to say about it? you really think that?"
you hate the sliver of guilt you feel, because its not a crazy thing to feel.
"yeah, i really do."
because well, that's the truth of the matter isn't it? you and your husband stare at eachother. and it feels like you're looking at a stranger. not the man who's freckles you used to kiss. who's fears you knew. who's hands you know every callous of, every divot and fingerprint.
"it seems you two have very different views of how the other views this marriage." janet cuts in, sounding curious. she taps her pen against the open notepad on her lap. "art, would you like to chime in on why you wanted to come here? even at the suggestion of someone else?"
art stares at you for a long moment. his face is unreadable to you. his jaw works before his chest expands on an exhale and he looks away.
"i guess i - i just didn't realize how..... stagnant things had gotten until it was pointed out to me. harshly." he winces, and you wonder exactly what tashi had to say to him. you haven't talked to the other woman for some time. contact fizzling out after your marriage to art. he flicks a glance to you, then away again. "im not the best at being aware of shit going on around me." his hand comes up to rub nervously at his neck. "i guess you could say im good at brushing things under the rug. going through the motions. that sort of thing."
janet nods like this makes sense to her. well, great, you think. you know my husband more than i do.
"you're not a fan of confrontation, are you?"
art actually laughs. a genuine one. one that brings a dimple to his cheek and flashes his teeth. you stare at it, like its an exotic animal, and you wont see it again. quickly you catalog the expression in your memory, so you dont forget what he looks like when hes happy.
"yeah, no." he shakes his head. "but I think thats part of the problem. I've obviously let too much shit get put under the rug and now its so full other people are noticing."
you look down at your hands, lips pressed together. your face burns at the knowledge that tashi and by extension - patrick - know your marriage is in shambles. how embarrassing, to be caught lacking in such a momentous way. to come up short and have your husbands friends know about it. you wonder - does he talk about all the ways you make him miserable with them? does patrick shake his head, say, "she's sucking the life out of you, man." does tashi look at him with pity? like hes some poor abused cat that needs to be let in from the rain?
the rain of your marriage.
the rain of you.
you're the storm. you're the problem. you're not enough. art needs fire. you're not even dirt, you're glass. and you can feel yourself breaking.
"that clearly hit a nerve, my dear." janets voice is soft. soothing. she hands you a tissue and you realize you'd begun to cry. "do you want to explain what you're feeling about what art said?"
"i...."
you dab dab dab at your eyes. sniffle. look around the room, trying to collect your thoughts. they feel like flyaway dandelions. you dont know which of them to grasp.
a warm hand settles over yours in your lap and you startle. its arts hand. warm and calloused and tan, covering yours. the gold glint of his wedding ring winks at you, the engraved words etched into them, "my soft epilogue". a shortened version of your favorite qoute i think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love.
at the time, that's what art was to you. your life before him hadn't been easy. being with art had felt like coming home from a long day and falling into a soft bed. it had felt like being able to land after weeks of being made to fly.
you turned your palm up, so he could slide his fingers between yours. he squeezed your hand.
"i think, i. i think i just think - I'm a failure." your bottom lip wobbles. you look at your enterwoven fingers and it makes you so sad that you haven't done the simple gesture of holding your husbands hand in months. "the two most important people in your life are. are so passionate and loud. and i see. i see how happy they make you - and i cant - i cant b-be that for you. we aren't - im not - you dont need me. im not a limb for you how they are. you could extract yourself from me and be. be happier."
your breath shudders out of you.
"you don't need me." you echo.
you wait for him to pull his hand away. this is more than you thought you'd share. some of it you weren't even aware of till the words were spilling from your lips. but they ring true.
without patrick and tashi art would drown. without you..... he'd float just fine.
"and that's important to you." janet says. a statement not a question. "you want to feel needed by art, and you feel as though you aren't. that his needs are met better with his friends than with you."
you nod slowly.
"baby." the word sends a shock through you. not the word itself but how its said. art calls you baby all the time, in a monotonous kind of way. routine. now he says it softly. with feeling. he lets go of your hand in favor of cupping your cheek, still damp with tears, turning your face to his. he looks pained. "of course i need you. i know i haven't been good at showing it. i just - you shut down - after we got married. you've been like a fucking ghost. like you dont want me to touch you. like i could dissappear for all you care and you'd just carry on. i don't know. but i need you, okay? i. need. you."
both hands cup your face, he makes you stare right into him. the conviction in his voice takes your breath away. theres a fire burning there you've thought long put out.
"obviously we have shit to sort out, and we will. but you've got to. you've got to know that. tashi only pushed me to do this because she how - how desperate i was. that's all."
you inhale deeply. exhale. swallow hard. tears cling to your lashes. you reach a hand up to clutch at one of arts wrists. eyes fluttering automatically when you do. you feel grounded again. less like you might float away.
"okay."
"yeah?"
"yeah...." and you smile. it trembles across your lips. but its there. "we'll sort our shit."
art lets out a relieved breath. kisses your forehead, lingering there. the gesture so tender you get emotional again. you want to crawl into his lap, have him wrap you in his arms. you want to feel held by him, like you used to.
"our time is up." janet sets her pen down. smiles. "but i think that was a wonderful first session. i can see the love between you hasn't faded, and that's more i can say for alot of couples who come to see me. keep your chin up."
#ask#poppy fic#i guess?#see its complex right because reader definitely isn't crazy art DID feel some kind of way abt tashi#and still does#but hes in love w us. he is.#its just different. like.#its complicated but its like. art cant allow himself to feel passion because he thinks its too much#and you WANT passion like patrick and tashi have. you want it mixed in with the comfort and stability w art.#but arts self worth is low so hes like. why fight passionately for anything if im not enough im not enough ig#and thats sm he needs to overcome#because its making you feel unwanted#also theres definitely some feelings for patrick and tashi on your side as well#tashi definitely misses you and wishes you would talk to her#so many more thoughts on this#anyway#art donaldson x reader#reader and art just need to FUCK real rawdog real sloppy#art donaldson#challengers x reader#art x reader#failmarriage au
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umemiya looks absolutely disgusting when he knocks on your door, white shirt all stained and bruises everywhere — so uncharacteristically of him, but then, he smiles and that. that's entirely him.
"I'm back," he said, his voice hoarse when he forces words out, his grip on your door making his knuckles much whiter than his hair, and he chuckled lightly. this time, his voice is softer when he whispers, "I would never lie to you."
he has at least two broken bones in his body at the moment, ones he really felt at the time when he wasn't so overwhelmed by rage, but he still opens his arms as soon as he sees your eyes watering.
despite his mess, you still jump him for a hug. he still wraps his arms around you and brings his hand to your hair as you bury your face on his neck.
despite all odds, he never loses. not himself, not you or his way home.
#im insane in the head i need to kiss that man right NOW#hajime umemiya#umemiya x you#wind breaker#wind breaker x you#wind breaker x reader#hajime umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya fluff#i was planning on only doing smaus here but skrry i was overcome by love#im in love. i am i am.#wbk spoilers#vaguely ig
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Since I'm getting back into comics, ig this is where I admit that I didn't get the tim drake hype until I read jason's return arc and damian's intro to the family? As in, it wasn't his own content that caught my eye but instead the way he was treated when seen through someone else's pov. Because ppl were always talking abt how much he was asked to put up with and I didn't not believe it but I was like well yeah but that's being robin for ya. BUT THEN the guy literally has two people try to kill him??? Only for his own family to essentially expect him to get over it?? And the general fandom agreement is that he should??? AND THEN HE JUST DOES?? And then I read Red Robin(2009), where we find out that he still considers damian dangerous and isn't totally over the whole almost-being-assasinated thing...and the response from both canon and fandom is that he should have gotten over it harder??? That he should apologize for not doing so?????
Not to mention, dick and jason both lost their minds when they found out that robin had been picked up by someone else only for dick to give it away right in front of tim's face, while he was still using the title!!! And his reason was "tim will be fine" and was super shocked when he wasn't!!! Dick babe ilu but im ngl, I would be lacing ur shit with arsenic. In fact, if I almost died multiple times only for my own family to focus more on the emotional wellbeing of my would-be-murderer than me? I'm blowing the whole place up idgaf what the circumstances were (hi jason). But tim just. Doesn't? Like he's majorly understanding and that's treated as normal.
To top it all off, the entirety of damian's and jason's arcs gives tim like two sentences even though their early interactions with him were major stepping stones for the start of both of their arcs! Which, when you think about it, mirrors how his stint as robin both started and ended��like he was just some stepping stone until the "real" robin came around and picked it back up. And you can't expect me to not be facinated by a dude getting the "girl getting in the way of the canon couple" treatment.
The majorly gay and about one canon event from losing the plot thing was just the cherry on top.
TLDR tim drake is my girliepop and will have my full support whenever he decides to finally lose it
#tim drake#timothy drake#honestly I've always hated the narrative that ur owed a clean slate for trying hard and overcoming#so ig I always sympathize w the victims of that mentality#like the overcoming was for u benefit why does that have to mean other ppl have to treat u a certain way#like going thru growth does not negate the stabbing i think both things can be respected by the narrative but it never is#timothy drake wayne#robin#robin iii#red robin#teen titans#batman#dc comics#robin 1993
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i cackled before the season came out and everyone was freaking out about the brothel scenes because they wanted demi!Colin and now the possibility was lost forever, when it was precisely the brothel scenes (+ the diary bit) which cemented demi!Colin to canon prosperity!
#like. i think it’s fair to have a discussion about how this kind of genre always has the sexually experienced hero#playing opposite the virgin heroine and how that’s annoying#or a discussion about the depiction of sex workers in media#but lbr the discourse wasn’t abt that#it was abt fans projecting into pen and hating colin for being unfaithful and cruel to her#which is?? not true???? at all??????? but i digress#on the topic of colin being demi it literally goes like: sex is good ig#and bragging about it makes me popular with the bros which is a bonus but idk something’s missing don’t know what it is#omg omg i kissed pen it was barely a brush of lips and now i’m overcome with lust like i’ve never experienced in my entire life omg#who knew intimacy and emotional connection could be so gratifying i’ve never been so turned on omfg#now i gotta marry her!!#me from behind: boy i know what you are#colin bridgerton#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton season 3
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kuron voice do i look like i was born yesterday
#no. he was born AT LEAST a month ago#kuron vld#vld kuron#clone shiro#vld#my art#a few hours ago i uh. was overcome by the sudden urge to draw him w a bit more effort than usual...... this is the result:]#guess this doubles as perspective practice? dunno#im not sure whether or not this is wonky bc ive been staring at it for too long#anyway im pretty proud of how this turned out!!!! i am starting to notice a pattern in what lighing i choose#for literally every of my kuron pieces lol.#.its purple .just a shit ton of purple and also black. thats it thats all i can think of for him. some pinks in there too ig#not many ppl know this but he actually wasnt made to infiltrate voltron! his life mission is just to stand menacingly in dark rooms
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I'll get your smile but I won't come alone Because my shadow is always there Between madness and reality I hate being like this It's awesome
It's the 9th september again, time for Aster's birthday.
Time to get a brainrot again about him. Also tried some new brushes for his scars and burns and I really like it.
Music inspiration by:
It's only the lyrics that fits, but I don't care. This song is on repeat since a few days and I vibe to it!
#tmnt#tmnt oc#tmnt oc aster#Aster#not quite satisfied but eh#improvise adapt overcome ig#tmnt 2012#you have to start somewhere#better making something than nothing am i right?#digital art#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles#oc#tmnt donnie#you would've love this piece... 🖤
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enver gortash fascinates me from the perspective of his relationship with the dark urge because like, as far as i know his alliance with them is one of the very few he didn’t actively despise. the guy was sold into slavery by his own parents (who tried to justify it by saying their child was a hateful monster and anyone would have done the same) and spent his formative years employed by a devil who gets off on gratuitous levels of suffering and manipulation. and then once he's escaped that and built himself up so he can never be used and enslaved again he meets this bhaalspawn who also had to adapt and survive a violent and manipulative environment for years by becoming the monsters who raised them.
gortash sees how the dark urge has risen to command armies and slaughter hundreds in the same way he outfoxed raphael and ruthlessly controls the people in his employ, and after earning and owning his reputation as a tyrant heres another person who might actually have like, a shared lived experience. not exactly a friend, because people like them can't afford to have friends, but someone who at least understands. and he willingly works with them on this plan to enslave the sword coast and agrees to share power with them.
and then orin lobotomizes them, puts a tadpole in their head, and leaves them for dead at moonrise.
like, can you imagine. youre working with the first person you see eye to eye with and prooooobably arent plotting to actively sabotage (or, at least would hesitate to do so) and the rug just gets yanked out from under them by their own sister, and now you're stuck with her because the plan still has to move along. and as the days go by a group of adventurers start to screw up your plot right when baldur's gate is within your grasp, and you learn that among them is your old almost-friend who you actually liked and respected - and they have no memory of you whatsoever. oh, and on top of that they're rolling with people you've actively fucked over and want to kick your ass.
did it hurt for him to learn this? did he ever think about how things could have been different? did he think, you were supposed to be my ally, my friend, someone who actually understands that becoming a monster is the only way to keep yourself safe and in control. we were going to rule together. and now you're ride or die with this squad of people you've only known for a few weeks at best, and you want me dead. you don't even remember me. you don't even remember yourself.
#thinking about it from my durge's perspective hurts kinda#because losing their memory is the only thing that freed them enough to trust the people around them#and after meeting gortash and learning their history - and how they used to be friends#they probably thought a lot about how things could have been different if there wasnt a literal elder brain under his enslavement#like man if you werent actively in the way of saving the literal world maybe we could have talked about this#if i can overcome a lifetime of senseless slaughter and learn to love i wonder if you can too#but we'll never know#bg3#baldurs gate 3#the dark urge#enver gortash#im sure someone has talked about this already but ive just been thinking about it a lot ig#the what-if-ness of it all#long post#pin talks#bg3 gortash
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astarion was lying about the true vampire thing cause i may not be afflicted with vampirism but i am afflicted with shitty rolls
#got a crick in the neck and now all my rolls are bad which i guess is true to life#i was like ohhh itll be fine its just a -1 and im not even blaming the lil debuff my rolls are just BAD now#i drafted this just this morning so ive overcome the hardships and terrors (mostly) but i still stand by what i said at the moment#kae.txt#bg3 spoilers#ig
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FUCK NOA
ISTG WE ALL SAW HIM AS ISAGI'S PARENTAL FIGURE OR SUM (even tho I never rlly liked him much, I liked Isagi so...) BUT TURNS OUT HE WAS ONLY USING ISAGI TO AWAKEN KAISER'S EGO
FUCK
HE SIDED WITH KAISER AND THEN DROPPED THAT DAMN BOMB ON ISAGI, MY POOR BOY, HE IDOLIZED NOA AND THOUGHT THEY FORMED LIKE A MENTOR-STUDENT BOND OR WTV BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT NOA HAS NEVER BEEN WITH ISAGI, ONLY USING HIM AS A STEPPING STONE FOR KAISER'S AWAKENING
I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING ISAGI GLAZER OR ANYTHING, I'M JS MAD CUZ ISAGI IDOLIZED NOA SO SO MUCH ONLY TO REALIZE THAT HE'D BEEN USED, BY HIS IDOL, THE ONE HE LOOKED UP TOS SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER, AS A STEPPING STONE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S EVOLUTION, AND THAT SOMEONE IS KAISER NONETHELESS (I have nothing against Kaiser btw)
Noa joined the NEL to awaken Kaiser's ego, because he wanted a rival that threatens him, an existence that will force him to evolve even further (cuz he wants to be stronger).
And I mean, it's kinda expected, actually no it's not, but the more I think about the more I'm not even shocked anymore. Cuz like, the players in blue lock follow the 'last one standing' ideology, so it'd be kinda expected that the No.1 is selfish to his ego in his own way too.
Now we wait till next week
#I've calmed down now#This post made me think about the leaks real hard#How many chapters and how many weeks will i have to suffer through? No idea#Im js waiting for Isagi to overcome it ig#The more i think about the leaks the less suprised i feel#blue lock#bllk#isagi yoichi#noel noa#michael kaiser
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i saw a video of an autistic guy speaking abt his experience with his trust and kindness being taken advantage of, not bc he can’t identify red flags necessarily, but bc he gives everyone an unconditional benefit of the doubt. he said that apparently most ppl don’t think this way, and for autistic ppl that struggle w gullibility, we have to assume the worst abt ppl and then let them prove us wrong
and tbh that stung in a way i still have a hard time wrapping my head around. what a hellish life either way
[this is abt personal experiences, pls don’t use this as a generalization or confirmation abt autism]
#i can’t tell if this is what everyone already does or if it’s overcompensating#but ig it does make sense#why allow someone to prove your trust wrong#why put your neck on the line like that#aghh idk this is all confusing and bitter to me. i feel like if i become jaded then i’ve ‘lost’#does anyone else relate? anyone else that’s overcome this?#we could start a support group#danbles#autisms
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hi have some scenes from a fanfic/comic i probably wont make
this is my X-men oc, Spellbook.
she can copy (simple) powers out of (fictional) books if she understands them but she can only carry three at a time before she has to switch the oldest one out
#x-men#x men 97#art#oc#drawing#ika's easel#im trying to overcome the cringe#also exmo#exmo#mormonism jumpscare tbh this is a funny religious trauma fic#nightcrawler#ik shes kinda op but thats how it goes#is there such a thing as a trauma coping fic#probs right#ig thats just writing
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ok... so Lambert x Eve...
Eve and the two Blaiddyds
Lambert and the two Fierenes
The step-siblings
@blaiddydbrokeit and I were talking, and they have now sent me down the wonderful rabbit hole that is Eve and Lambert getting married and looking after their children.
#Dimi desperately needs a good mother figure (y'know rather than his idealised image of Patricia who never really loved him and didn't pay#attention to him no matter what he says to himself (you know only having that one memory of her where she was looking out the window and ig#ring him) and then tried to murder him adn his whole family) anyway#Eve would be good for Dimi#and Lambert and Alfred and Celine would get up to all sorts of shenanigans#but also Lambert might be able to help Celine understand and overcome her fear of other's deaths#Dimitri in particular would be able to understand that fear and sympathise with her#and alfred is just having a great time with a new brother and dad because everything is awesome all the time and his old dad would have lov#d his new dad and he tells alear all about it and she's like ooh!#anyway an adorable meet the step-dad step-brother situation for the couple (you know my alflear loving heart can never resist an opportunit#anyway#other tags were originally messaged to a pal when we discussed the idea but I thought they would work under the picutres too:#crack ship or not Lambert and eve are adorable in my brain#lambert egitte blaiddyd#queen Eve#fire emblem engage#fire emblem three houses#anyway maybe in a heroes universe or something; or dimi revives Lambert using some sort of magic and then Lambert and eve meet up in a Fodl#an and Elyos meet and greet sort of ball and they become friends and then they discuss being widowed and through a long series of meet ups#realise a political marriage between them both would be good for Fodlan and Fahrgus and good for Fierene and Elyos and they're also in love#anyway they both visit each other's spouses graves on the anniversary of death#like they would both really respect their partner's deceased spouses and not be jealous at all when the other gets upset and is like#I really miss them. Because they both get it
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Wait crying again bc I was rewatching The Intruder today (episode 4 of season 1) and I realized that like. The glyphs represent a few things in the narrative but one thing that's consistent is they're always there when Luz doesn't feel like she's good enough on her own. They appear to her as comfort in moments of self depreciation or self doubt, or she coincidentally learns them in episodes where she faces her fear of rejection or makes a mistake (at least this is true in terms of the first four base glyphs she discovers). It's the titans way of saying "you may have to do things differently, but you can do anything they can do" to Luz bc he cares about her
AND THEN. IN WATCHING AND DREAMING. WHEN THE TITAN PASSES ON AND THE GLYPHS DON'T WORK ANYMORE. IT'S BECAUSE NOW LUZ FINALLY FEELS LIKE SHE'S GOOD ENOUGH, ALL ON HER OWN. SHE'S LEARNED THAT SHE HAS INTRINSIC WORTH AS A PERSON AND SHE DOESN'T NEED TO MAKE UP FOR WHO SHE IS. SHE MIGHT DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY BUT SHE CAN DO EVERYTHING ANOTHER WITCH CAN DO- THIS TIME WITH HER OWN, MORE PERSONAL ACCESSIBILITY TOOL (HER PALISMEN) INSTEAD OF THE ONE THE TITAN GAVE HER. MAN!!!!!
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#toh#toh meta#luz noceda#the glyphs are there for everyone who doesn't feel good enough#eda and lilith after losing their magic...the kids overcome with exhaustion and fear in watching and dreaming#hell you could even argue that philip uses them to cope with the unspeakable horror that these non-person witches-#-could be better than him at something! gasp! the audacity!#he uses them to harm and co-opts the titans language to make sure that no witch could have a chance of thinking they're better than him#(bc again. philip is not afraid of witches. he hates this. his background is not a literal investigation into Christian superstition-#-it is a non-literal parallel to modern day conservatives.)#(they're afraid of what they don't understand but much more than that they hate it-#-that's why you can't change their opinions solely w/ rhetoric and argument)#ANYWAY. I've heard some ppl stressing over the amount of ppl being vocally negative in the maintag recently#and i see it too. think it's just a thing that happens when shows end? ppl pop out of the woodwork to be like#''well i never liked it in the first place!''#like. okay. good for you ig#anyway i hope this sparks some joy in the maintag instead#that's all I'm here to do#i stopped watching the episode to type this post i should go finish it
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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christian nationalism is getting real prominent in the u.s. lately (someone get me the fuck out of this insane ass country)
#✧— aphe's musings.#fuck you and your religion you will NOT shove that shit down my throat.#i usually keep all of the posts of this nature on ig. but lately i am overcome by how disgusting this country is#for multiple reasons.#like bro fuck this place get me the hell out of here#btw i shouldn't have to say this but no i am not talking about all people who follow christianity#tw vent#vent post#i love being an atheist (<- aka getting told i'm going to hell by freaks online for... some reason? LMFAO)
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