#overall a mixed bag but what's in that bag is very very impressive

[ch0llies]

REVIVAL | CHRIS STURNIOLO

A story in which a messy breakup lands you in your best friend’s Boston apartment a year after high school, and you find yourself face-to-face again with Christopher Sturniolo—your first love. As your paths cross again, the bitterness of how you left him still lingers, fueling every hated glance. But with your best friend dating his brother, you know is there’s no escaping Chris—or the tension that refuses to die. Is this revival destined to reignite, or will it crumble under the weight of your unresolved past?

story warning: this story includes very toxic and abusive behavior. none of the actions or words in this series are justified and are written exclusively for entertainment purposes only. under no circumstances are they personally associated with chris other than just using him as the main character. read at your own discretion. now that that is cleared up, there will be filthy smut, angst, swearing, underage drinking, underage drug use, abusive behavior, morally skewed choices, toxic relationships, and overall mature themes. if any of this upsets you... don't read!

word count: 9.4k

CHAPTER THREE:

Two days pass in a blur of restless thoughts and half-distracted tasks. You and Ava decide to blow off the tension with some much-needed retail therapy, roaming the racks of a bustling mall. It’s easy talk at first but eventually, the conversation circles back to the night everything exploded.

“So,” Ava prods, turning a hanger in her hand, “you gonna tell me more about you and Chris making out, or are you gonna keep me in the dark forever?”

You flush, half-hiding behind a hoodie you have no intention of buying. “It just… happened,” you mumble, recalling the heated kiss and the way things nearly went further. “I was hammered. He was there. We were alone. You know.”

Ava’s grin widens, catlike. “Alone in just your panties, playing strip pong, if I recall.” She pulls a face of mock innocence. “Totally normal scenario.”

You give her a playful shove and head for the register, trying to hide the flutter in your stomach. Despite the anger you still feel toward Chris, you can’t deny the memory of that kiss sends shivers down your spine.

Later that evening, you and Ava settle into a cozy booth at a small Italian restaurant—candles flicker on each table, and the scent of garlic bread drifts through the air. Over plates of pasta, you swap stories about the week’s ups and downs. Ava mentions Matt texting her random nudes to apologize for the headboard fiasco. You roll your eyes over Chris’s radio silence, trying to focus on the tangy sauce in front of you rather than the knot in your stomach.

Midway through dinner, Ava’s phone buzzes. She glances at the screen and her eyes go wide. “Oh my God,” she breathes, “we need to get home.”

You frown, twirling spaghetti around your fork. “Why? We just got our food.”

She slides her phone across the table, the screen still lit. “The boys just posted their first YouTube video.”

You arch an eyebrow. “Oh they finally posted?”

Ava nods, half exasperated, half impressed. “Apparently, yeah. It’s a get-to-know-us video or something. Matt told me they’ve been brainstorming for months. C’mon, I’m dying to see what these idiots came up with.”

You can’t help a curious smile, despite everything. “Fine,” you relent, signaling for the check.

You rush through the last bites of your meal, pay up, and head out into the crisp evening air, still chuckling about the inevitability of the Sturniolos launching a channel. Once back at your apartment, you barely toss your bags aside before Ava snags the TV remote, pulling up YouTube on the big screen. The bright platform logo loads, and your heart skitters with a mix of curiosity and residual frustration as she clicks into their brand-new channel.

Seconds later, the title card for their video appears, and you settle onto the couch with Ava, bracing yourselves to see what Chris and his brothers have done. Then she hits play, and the screen fades in—

The shot opens on three faces partially illuminated by the overhead light of Matt’s car, which is parked in an otherwise dark, mostly empty lot. The orange glow of a distant streetlamp outlines the windows, and the faint hum of traffic can be heard in the background. Matt is in the driver’s seat—though the car is off—looking a bit shy. Chris, baseball cap pulled low, lounges in the passenger seat, arms crossed casually. Nick, in the back seat, has leaned forward just enough to fit into frame.

Nick taps the record button on his phone. “Alright, we’re rolling,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows at the camera. “What’s up, everyone? Welcome to the Sturniolo Triplets channel. This is our first official ‘car video.’ Except, well—” he gestures at the darkness outside, “—we’re not exactly going anywhere tonight.”

Chris shifts in his seat, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Yeah, apparently it’s late and someone”—he jabs a thumb at Matt—“doesn’t wanna drive around after dark. Says we should film while parked.”

Matt clears his throat, cheeks coloring under the faint overhead light. “I just think it’s safer to, uh, not be distracted when we’re doing our first video. We’ll do actual drive-around vlogs some other time.”

Nick nods with an exaggerated seriousness. “We gotta ease into this, folks. Anyway, I’m Nick, that’s Matt—who, by the way, got his license at sixteen, not yesterday—and over here is Chris.” He tilts the camera slightly, capturing each brother. “We’re nineteen, from Summerville, and, well… we decided to start this channel to share our everyday life.”

Chris runs a hand over his cap. “Sounds about right. Alright, Nick, what are we doing tonight?”

Nick holds up his phone. “I asked some friends for questions—stuff so people can get to know us. Figured we’d tackle them one by one.” He swipes a thumb across the screen. “First question: Where exactly are you guys from, and how old are you? I know we kinda said it, but let’s make it official.”

Matt, still looking a little shy, clears his throat. “We’re from Summerville—just outside Boston. We’re nineteen. All of us. Triplets, you know.”

Nick grins into the camera. “Yep, so that’s that. Next question: Favorite colors. Go.”

“Blue,” Matt says quietly, fidgeting with the hem of his T-shirt. “It’s just, I don’t know, I’ve always liked it.”

Nick bobs his head. “Me, I’m all about purple. Highly underrated color. Vibrant, mysterious—kinda like me.” He wiggles his brows sarcastically, and Chris gives him a withering stare.

Rolling his shoulders, Chris glances at the camera. “Orange,” he says, almost curtly. “No big reason. I just like it.”

Nick scrolls again. “Right, next question… ‘Are you single or taken?’”

Chris’s jaw tightens, and he says nothing, turning his gaze to the dark parking lot outside. Nick notices but decides not to push him yet. Instead, Nick answers for himself: “I’m single, because I haven’t found a dilf yet,” he says with a stage whisper, making Matt choke on laughter.

Matt fans himself in mock exasperation. “Nick, what the hell?” But he’s still grinning. “Alright, well, I’m not single. I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend, Ava.” He unlocks his phone and holds the lockscreen up for the camera: a candid shot of Ava mid-laugh. “She’s awesome. We’ve been together for almost three years.”

Nick leans forward from the back seat, peering at the lockscreen. “That’s cute, man. Look at you, all smitten and shit.”

Matt ducks his head. “Whatever,” he mumbles, a proud little smile tugging at his lips. “She’s great.”

Nick sees an opening. “So, big question: How’d you meet?”

Matt exhales, glancing momentarily at Chris, then back at the camera. “Alright. Junior year of high school, and for context, Ava’s best friend is named Y/N, and Chris here was basically, uh…” He coughs awkwardly. “...dating Y/N. So Y/N brought Ava around to hang out one weekend—”

Chris snorts loudly from the passenger seat. “Dating is a strong word,” he says, voice edged with sarcasm.

Matt shoots him an annoyed look. “Chris, shut the fuck up. Anyway, Y/N brought Ava over and—I don’t know, man, I just fell for her instantly. She was so funny and beautiful.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “Get that simp shit outta here, dude,” he mutters under his breath, arms crossing tighter.

Nick cringes, aiming a quick “Sorry, folks” look at the camera. “Ignore him. He’s cranky. Next question, anyone?”

Matt tries to refocus. “Right, next question,” he echoes, rattling off the typical Q&A stuff: worst fears, favorite foods, random celebrity crushes. Chris chimes in now and then with dry remarks, but mostly keeps his gaze on the window, occasionally letting out a derisive chuckle or rolling his eyes at Nick and Matt’s banter.

Nick finally waves a dramatic farewell at the lens. “Alright, that’s enough for our first official ‘car video’” he says. “Maybe next time we’ll be on the move. If you liked this, like and subscribe or something. I don’t know—help us out.”

Matt musters a small smile, leaning forward to stop the recording. “See you guys next time.”

The screen fades to black.

The newly uploaded car video ends, replaced by YouTube’s recommended thumbnails. Ava shuts off the TV with a grimace, letting out a long sigh.

“Did you see Chris’s face?” she asks, raking a hand through her hair. “Every time Matt brought up anything about us, he was just… so passive-aggressive.”

You lean back against the couch cushions, exhaling. “Yeah, I noticed. It’s like he can’t stand even the mention of that time in high school yet he had no problem bringing it up when he was drunk and horny and all over me.” Your stomach twists at the memory of Chris’s snort when Matt called it dating. “I get it if he has regrets or bitterness, but did he have to say that stuff on camera and then post it online?”

Ava folds her arms, shaking her head. “Right? Like, ‘get that simp shit outta here’? Excuse me, let Matt have his moment! He was being sweet—he’s not a fucking simp for talking about how much he loves me. And calling it a ‘strong word’ when he was obviously your… I don’t know.” She frowns, searching for the right term.

You grimace. “We were more than friends, at the very least, I mean he was my first everything. But apparently, Chris is tryna rewrite the past now.”

Ava clicks her tongue. “That’s messed up. I mean, Nick tries so hard to keep the vibe light, and Matt—poor Matt—he’s just excited to share, you know? It’s their first video. They want it to be a success. Then Chris has to go all moody.”

You roll your eyes. “He’s always had a sarcastic streak, but this was fucking personal. He’s clearly extra upset about all this, especially after Dennys.”

Ava rests her chin on her hand, brow furrowed. “Yeah, well, he’s not doing himself any favors. Imagine being a new subscriber and seeing him sulking the whole time.”

You huff a short laugh. “At least the rest of the video was entertaining. Nick’s bit about hunting for a dilf was hilarious.”

Ava giggles, though it’s short-lived. “I just wish Chris could be more supportive. Matt’s shy, we know that, and this is big for him. They’re not even moving the car, so that should’ve been easy, right?”

You nod firmly. “Exactly. If Chris wants to brood, he can do it off-camera. Instead, he’s gotta make those little digs. It was so uncomfortable to watch.”

Ava sighs, rubbing her forehead. “Part of me wants to text Matt, make sure he’s okay. And then another part of me wants to call Chris out on his bullshit.”

Your lips quirk up wryly. “Could do both. But maybe let them have their moment. If they’re serious about this channel, they’ll have to figure out that dynamic sooner or later.”

She gives you a sidelong look. “Yeah, you’re probably right. It’s just… it’s so rude, right?”

“Completely,” you agree, folding your legs beneath you. 

Ava slumps deeper into the couch, crossing her arms as she stares at the now-blank TV screen. The frustration on her face hasn’t budged since the video ended. “Y’know,” she begins, voice taut, “it’s not just Chris being rude that bothers me—though that’s bad enough. It’s how Matt is practically too shy to get a word in, and whenever he tries, someone interrupts him.”

You nod, recalling how many times Matt started to speak, only for Chris or Nick to jump in. “He did look pretty nervous.”

Ava makes a tiny, annoyed sound in the back of her throat. “He’s always been anxious. He likes the idea of this YouTube stuff, but he’s a quiet person, you know? Then Chris and Nick just bulldoze over him. I mean, Nick does it in a playful way, but Chris?” She shakes her head, lip curling. “Every time Matt tried to share something, Chris had a snarky comment ready.”

You fiddle with a piece of lint on the couch. “I could see Matt clamming up whenever Chris made those little digs. He’d just… shut down.”

“Exactly,” Ava sighs. “And it’s their first video—shouldn’t they be encouraging each other? Especially Chris, since he’s so confident on camera. But he was practically rolling his eyes at everything Matt said.”

A wave of sympathy washes over you. “Matt was so excited to talk about how you two met,” you say gently, picturing the shy pride on Matt’s face whenever he brought up Ava. “Plus literally dogged on me in front of the whole internet. Name out and everything.” 

Ava purses her lips, irritation glowing in her eyes. “Right. He basically belittled anything that happened between you guys, which is rude in itself, but worse, it cut Matt off mid-thought. Like, let the boy speak!” She exhales hard. “Matt’s never been the type to assert himself, especially not on camera. He hates confrontation—always has.”

“Yeah,” you agree, remembering countless times Matt dodged drama in high school, well just dodged highschool in general. “It’s not easy for him to push back when Chris is in a mood.”

Ava’s expression darkens a bit. “He shouldn’t even have to push back. They’re brothers, for crying out loud—you’d think Chris would at least let Matt finish a sentence without being an asshole.”

You catch the protective tone in Ava’s voice and press your lips together. “Are you gonna say anything to Matt about it?”

She chews on her thumbnail, debating. “I want to. But I know he’ll just shrug it off, say it’s no big deal. He’s used to being outtalked by his brothers.”

Your chest pinches at the thought—Matt, sweet and quiet, swallowed by his siblings’ bigger personalities. “I mean, hopefully Nick sees it, too, and tries to help, right? He usually has a decent read on when Chris is out of line.”

Ava nods, though she still looks wound up. “Yeah, Nick tries. I just hate seeing Matt’s excitement overshadowed by Chris’s bullshit. One or two comments is one thing, but he barely let Matt breathe.”

“We can’t exactly force them to film differently, but maybe you could remind Matt he has a right to speak up. If he wants to start a channel, his voice should matter, you know?”

Ava inhales, shoulders lifting with tension. “You’re right. I guess I’ll talk to him, casually. Tell him I love hearing what he has to say.” She huffs a short laugh, though there’s no humor in it. “God, it’s ridiculous we even have to worry about this. It’s their first fucking video.”

You laugh. “Exactly! It might seem to Chris or Nick that we’re being dramatic but Matt is literally a baby. That's like my son.” 

Ava sets her phone aside, chewing on her lower lip as though turning a new idea over in her head. “Hey,” she begins, glancing at you. “What if we invite them over? Like, we can do a little ‘congrats on your first video’ celebration—just something small. I’ll talk to Matt then, and maybe even Chris.”

You hesitate, recalling Chris’s less-than-stellar attitude in the vlog. “I don’t know,” you mutter, picking at a loose thread on your shirt. “I mean, Chris was so… bitchy. Do I really want him in my living room acting like that?”

Ava sighs, shoulders slumping. “Believe me, I get it. But Nick and Matt deserve some positive reinforcement, right? They at least deserve to see that we’re proud of them, especially after all the nerves Matt had.”

You let out a small groan, torn between your lingering annoyance and the genuine desire to support Matt and Nick. “Fine,” you relent at last. “I do want to celebrate them. I just hope Chris doesn’t wreck the vibe.”

Ava’s face lights up with a determined grin. “Perfect. Let’s do this right—we’ll grab a little cake, some balloons, maybe a pizza. We can’t make it huge, but at least it’ll be fun.”

“Pizza?” you echo dryly. “We literally just ate.”

She shrugs, already hopping off the couch to grab her wallet. “Pizza’s timeless, Y/N. Let’s go. If we text Matt and say ‘come over in an hour,’ that should give us time.”

You find yourself mirroring her excitement, a smile creeping in despite your nerves. “Alright, let’s make it quick,” you say. “We’ll pick up decorations on the way.”

After a hurried drive through town, you and Ava dart into a party supply store, scouring the aisles for cheap balloons and a congratulatory banner. You settle on a simple metallic one that reads CONGRATS!—it’s not exactly “Congrats on Your First YouTube Video,” but it’ll do in a pinch. Ava practically bounces from shelf to shelf, gathering colorful balloons, while you pop over to the bakery section next door to grab a small sheet cake. The design is basic—white frosting with a swirl of confetti sprinkles—but you ask them to write CONGRATS across the top in purple, blue, and orange icing.

Once you’re juggling balloons, a cake box, and a bag of plastic plates, Ava steers you to the pizza place around the corner. She orders one large pepperoni and one plain cheese, plus a side of breadsticks—“Just in case,” she says, winking as you roll your eyes.

Standing by the soda fridge, you pull out your phone to text Matt:

Y/N: Hey, can you come over in about an hour with your brothers? Ava wants to celebrate your first vid! We have a little surprise. 

Matt: That sounds awesome. Let me check with them—brb. 

A few seconds later, his response flashes:

Matt: Nick’s in. Chris said whatever. I’ll bring him anyway. See you soon :)

You sigh, showing Ava the text. “Chris is, as usual, thrilled to come.”

She wrinkles her nose. “We’ll deal. Maybe with food and a little hype, he’ll chill out.”

“We can hope,” you reply, though your stomach is still knotted with apprehension.

Back at your apartment, you and Ava scramble to set up. Balloons get haphazardly taped to the walls, the small banner gets draped along the mantel, and you put the cake and pizza boxes onto the kitchen counter. The place smells faintly of fresh pizza sauce, and despite the rush, a cozy energy settles in.

Ava pulls down her crop top, taking one last look around. “Alright,” she exhales. “This is as good as it’s gonna get on short notice.”

You nod, glancing at your phone to check the time. “They should be here any minute.” Though a flutter of anxiety tugs in your chest—Chris’s mood looms over your thoughts—you still feel a warm spark of excitement for Nick and Matt.

The sound of footsteps echoes in the hallway just before a sharp knock at the door. Ava rushes over to open it, and the triplets pile inside in their usual chaotic fashion. Nick is first, grinning wide as his eyes sweep the apartment. “Whoa! You guys went all out for us?” he exclaims, pointing at the balloons and banner.

Matt follows, carrying a bag of soda bottles. His shy smile brightens at the sight of the decorations. “This is awesome. You really didn’t have to—”

Chris steps in last, hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets. His usual sarcastic smirk is replaced by a genuine look of surprise as he takes it all in. “Yo,” he says, gaze landing on the cake. “Did you seriously get a cake for this? That’s kinda dope.”

Ava beams, motioning for them to come all the way in. “Of course, we did! Your first video deserves a celebration. Pizza’s on the counter, and there’s cake after.”

Nick spins in a circle, taking it all in with exaggerated awe. “This is better than any party we’ve ever thrown,” he jokes, making Chris laugh.

“Low bar,” Chris quips, grabbing a slice of pizza. “We usually just sit around eating stale chips.”

You exchange a glance with Ava, a silent note of relief passing between you. Chris doesn’t seem moody or withdrawn like he’s been the past times you’ve interacted. Instead, he’s leaning into his usual ADHD-driven energy, bouncing from the pizza to the balloons to the banner with lighthearted comments. It reminds you of the old him and your old dynamic before things got fucked up.

“This is fucking awesome” he says, pointing at the metallic CONGRATS! sign. “Where’d you even find that?”

“Party store,” you reply, biting back a laugh as he nods approvingly.

As the boys settle into the space, Ava nudges Matt lightly and tilts her head toward the hallway. “Hey, can we talk for a sec?” she asks.

Matt hesitates, glancing at his brothers. “Uh, sure.”

You catch Ava’s eye and follow the two of them to the hallway, leaving the others by the pizza. Nick and Chris don’t seem to notice at first, too busy bantering about which balloon color is better.

Once in the hallway, Ava crosses her arms, her voice soft but serious. “Matt, I wanted to check in about the car video. You seemed really anxious, and Chris kept interrupting you. It kinda bugged me, honestly.”

Matt rubs the back of his neck, cheeks reddening. “Oh yeah, I was a little nervous. But it’s fine. You know how I get in front of people. Chris was just being Chris.”

“It’s not fine,” you chime in, arms crossed. “He didn’t just interrupt you—he was being a moody brat who couldn’t wait his turn to speak.”

Unbeknownst to you, Chris has wandered closer to the hallway. He freezes mid-step, hearing your words. His relaxed demeanor vanishes as his face hardens. “Oh, a moody brat?” Chris’s tone was sharp, his expression dark as he stepped into view from around the corner. “That’s what you think of me?”

You froze, your stomach sinking as his gaze locked onto you. “Chris, I didn’t mean—”

“Bullshit,” he snapped, crossing his arms. “You meant exactly what you said. Go on, let’s hear it. What else am I? A selfish asshole? A shitty brother?”

“Chris, calm down,” Ava said, stepping in. “She wasn’t trying to attack you—”

“Oh, don’t start,” Chris interrupted, turning his anger on her. “Of course you’d jump in to defend her. You always have something to say, don’t you?”

Ava’s jaw dropped, her own frustration flaring. “Excuse me? Don’t take your shit out on me just because you can’t handle a little criticism!”

“Criticism?” Chris barked, his voice rising. “You mean this little intervention where you all gang up on me and call me names behind my back?”

“We weren’t ganging up on you!” Ava shot back. “We were talking about how Matt couldn’t get a word in because you wouldn’t let him.”

“That’s enough!” Matt’s voice cut through the argument like a whip, startling everyone into silence. His face was red, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. He stepped forward, his glare pinned on Chris.

“You don’t get to yell at her,” Matt said, his voice trembling with anger. “She’s only trying to help me. And she’s right—you were out of line in the car video. You didn’t let me talk, and you made me feel like an idiot for even trying.”

Chris’s mouth opened, but Matt held up a hand. “No. I’m not finished. You act like it’s some huge inconvenience to let me have a moment. But guess what, Chris? You’re not the only one who matters. This channel isn’t just about you.”

Nick appeared in the doorway, his pizza forgotten. “Whoa, what’s going on?” he asked, his eyes darting between everyone.

“Chris is losing his shit because we called him out for being rude,” Ava said, her voice tight.

“Rude?” Chris echoed, his voice shaking with barely contained anger. “You mean honest? Sorry if I’m not sugarcoating everything like you two.”

“You weren’t honest,” you snapped, your own frustration boiling over. “You were mean. You steamrolled Matt, you dogged on me, shitted on their relationship, and now you’re trying to justify it by yelling at us? Grow up, Chris.”

Chris turned his glare back on you, his hands twitching at his sides. “You’re one to talk about growing up. Maybe you should focus on your own shit before coming after me.”

“Enough!” Matt shouted again. He stepped between you and Chris, his face flushed with anger. “I’m so sick of this. Chris, stop taking your problems out on everyone else. Ava and Y/N didn’t deserve that, and you know it.”

The hallway fell silent, the tension so thick it was almost suffocating. Chris looked away, his jaw clenched, while Ava placed a hand on Matt’s arm.

Nick exhaled loudly, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, can we please not burn the apartment down? I get it—there’s stuff to work through. But maybe we can do that without screaming at each other? The fuck?”

You crossed your arms, your heart still pounding. “Fine by me,” you muttered, though your gaze lingered on Chris, who still refused to meet your eyes.

“Let’s just… go eat cake,” Matt said, his voice weary. He turned and headed back toward the living room, Ava following close behind. Nick trailed after them, casting a concerned glance over his shoulder at you and Chris.

Chris lingered for a moment, his shoulders tense. Finally, he muttered, “Whatever,” and walked away, leaving you alone in the hallway with a storm of emotions swirling in your chest.

The celebration had been meant to bring everyone together, but instead, it had cracked the fragile dynamic even further.

You took a deep breath, standing in the empty hallway as Chris’s footsteps receded. Your chest felt tight, the lingering tension from the argument swirling in your mind. For a brief moment, you debated staying behind, letting the others enjoy the cake and pretending none of this had happened. But you knew that wasn’t an option—not really.

With a sigh, you pushed off the wall and headed back into the living room. The atmosphere had shifted; the room felt quieter, the earlier excitement dulled. Ava was cutting the cake, her movements a little more forceful than usual, while Matt stood next to her, hands shoved in his pockets. Nick was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling through his phone like nothing had happened.

Chris was leaning against the counter near the kitchen, his expression unreadable as he stared at the floor. His posture was relaxed, but you could tell he was still stewing, the tension radiating off him like heat waves.

You took a seat on the armrest of the couch, trying to gauge the mood. Ava handed out plates of cake, her usual cheerful banter replaced by a quiet efficiency. When she placed a slice in front of Chris, he nodded mutely, not meeting her eyes.

“So,” Nick said, breaking the silence as he grabbed his own slice of cake. “Anyone wanna talk about literally anything else?”

The attempt at levity was met with a few weak chuckles. Matt shot Nick a grateful look before sitting down with Ava, who instinctively leaned into his side. You noticed the way Matt’s hand brushed lightly against her back—a subtle gesture of reassurance.

“Good cake,” Nick said through a mouthful. “Not gonna lie, this almost makes up for all the yelling.”

Chris snorted softly, finally looking up. “Almost.”

The conversation meandered awkwardly, everyone trying to fill the space without addressing the elephant in the room. You toyed with your fork, not really hungry, and avoided Chris’s gaze when it flicked your way. It was clear he was holding back something—whether it was more anger or an apology, you couldn’t tell.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Nick clapped his hands together. “Alright, I’ve had enough of this depressing-ass vibe. Let’s go do something.”

Ava raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

Nick’s grin was mischievous. “Let’s go to the park and mess around. Smoke a little, swing on the swings—anything to get out of this apartment.”

Matt glanced at Ava, who nodded with a shrug. “Sure,” she said. “Why not?”

One by one, everyone agreed, the idea of fresh air and a change of scenery too tempting to pass up. After you all smoked in your apartment, you grabbed a hoodie on the way out, trailing behind the group as you made your way to the nearby park.

The park was quiet, the swings and play structures bathed in the soft glow of a nearby streetlamp. The cool night air felt refreshing against your skin, and for the first time in hours, you felt your shoulders relax.

Nick immediately headed for the swings, pushing himself back and forth with exaggerated enthusiasm. “This is the shit,” he said, laughing as he swung higher. “Why don’t we do this more often?”

Matt and Ava claimed the bench near the swings, sitting close together as Ava leaned her head on his shoulder. Chris hung back for a moment, his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets as he watched Nick swing.

You took a seat on the swing next to Nick, letting the gentle rocking motion soothe your nerves. Chris eventually wandered over, leaning against the swing set post. His gaze flicked to you briefly before settling on the ground.

“Mind if I sit?” he asked, his voice low.

You hesitated but nodded, scooting over slightly as he took the swing beside you. For a while, neither of you spoke, the quiet punctuated only by the creak of the chains and Nick’s occasional whoops.

Finally, Chris broke the silence. “Hey,” he says softly, his voice tinged with vulnerability. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how I acted.” 

You glanced at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his tone. His eyes, slightly red from earlier, locked onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catch.

“I know I’ve been a dick,” he continued, his hand gripping the chain of the swing. “In the car, in the hallway… I didn’t mean to blow up like that.”

You nodded slowly, unsure of what to say. Before you could respond, Chris reached out, his fingers brushing against your arm. The touch was light, but it sent a shiver through you.

“I just…” He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground before returning to yours. “You gotta watch your mouth, though. Calling me a ‘moody brat’? Kinda bold of you.”

There was a flicker of a smirk on his lips, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His hand moved to your chin, tilting your face slightly so you couldn’t look away. “You’ve always had a way of pushing my buttons, you know that?”

The tension between you crackled, the space between your bodies feeling impossibly small despite the openness of the park. His thumb brushed against your jawline, a touch so deliberate it made your pulse race.

“Chris,” you started, your voice barely above a whisper.

He leaned in slightly, his red-rimmed eyes locking onto yours. “I’m just saying,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. “Next time you wanna call me out, maybe don’t do it when I’m already on edge.”

You couldn’t tell if he was teasing or threatening—or something else entirely. All you knew was that the weight of his gaze and the warmth of his hand against your skin were making it hard to think straight.

In the distance, you heard Matt laughing as he jumped off his swing. Ava’s voice carried through the night as she scolded him, but the sounds felt distant, like they belonged to another world. Here, in this moment, it was just you and Chris.

The tension from earlier seemed to dissipate as everyone made their way back to the apartment. By the time you stepped inside, the atmosphere had shifted to something lighter, almost playful. Ava unlocked the door, pushing it open with a grin.

“Okay, so,” she declared, kicking off her shoes, “Everyone’s staying over, and we’re drinking. No arguments.”

Nick immediately threw his arms in the air. “Hell yes! I knew I liked you for a reason, Ava.”

Chris snorted, leaning against the doorframe as he toed off his sneakers. “Like anyone’s gonna say no to free booze.”

Matt hesitated, glancing at Ava. “Are you sure?” he asked quietly. “We don’t wanna impose.”

Ava rolled her eyes and grabbed him by the strings of his hoodie, tugging him inside. “Matt, you’re my boyfriend. You couldn’t impose if you tried. Now get your ass on the couch.”

You laughed, heading for the kitchen to grab drinks. By the time you returned with a mix of beers, seltzers, and a bottle of vodka, Nick had already connected to the Bluetooth speaker, blasting an absurd mix of nostalgic throwbacks and hits.

Ava clapped her hands together, her grin devilish. “Alright, people. We’re drinking, and I don’t want anyone pussying out.”

“Define ‘wimping out,’” Chris teased, cracking open a beer. “Because I’m not doing vodka shots if that’s where this is headed.” 

“Lightweight,” Nick muttered, earning a glare from Chris.

The night spiraled quickly into a mess of drinking games, loud music, and questionable dares. Nick tried balancing a spoon on his nose (and failed miserably), Matt spent ten minutes figuring out how to shuffle cards for a drinking game, and Ava made everyone take a collective shot “just cause.”

When someone suggested playing Intimacy Dice, a game Ava had pulled from the back of her closet, chaos was inevitable. Two dice: one with body parts, the other with actions. The rules were simple—roll and do whatever the dice dictated.

“This is going to be a train wreck,” Nick declared, grinning as he picked up the dice.

“Exactly the point,” Ava shot back, handing him the dice first.

Nick rolled, and the dice tumbled to a stop: lick and toes.

The room exploded with laughter as Ava’s name was called.

“Oh, come on!” she groaned. “Why do I have to lick Nick’s gross-ass toes?”

“Rules are rules,” Chris said smugly, leaning back with his beer like he was thoroughly enjoying her discomfort.

Ava rolled her eyes dramatically, kneeling down as Nick gleefully stuck his socked foot in her direction. “Fine,” she huffed, pulling off the sock and gagging for added effect. “But I’m never forgiving you for this.”

“Take one for the team!” you cheered, your sides aching from laughing so hard.

With exaggerated reluctance, Ava leaned in and barely grazed the tip of Nick’s big toe with her tongue before shooting upright. “Done!” she declared, grabbing her drink and chugging half of it. “That was disgusting.”

Nick was practically rolling on the floor, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. “You’re a hero, Ava. A true inspiration.”

Your turn came next. You rolled the dice, holding your breath as they clattered across the floor. When they finally stopped, the room went silent.

Kiss and lips.

“Y/N and Matt!” Ava announced gleefully, pointing at the two of you.

Matt’s face turned beet red as he glanced at Ava nervously. “Uh…”

You hesitated, heat creeping up your neck. Your eyes darted to Ava, who was clearly trying not to burst out laughing, then to Chris. His expression was unreadable, though the way he sipped his beer a little harder than usual wasn’t lost on you.

“It’s just a game,” Ava said, waving her hand. “Go on! It’s not like I’m gonna get mad.”

Matt hesitated for another second before finally leaning forward, his cheeks blazing. “Okay,” he muttered. “Let’s just… get it over with.”

The kiss was quick—a soft brush of lips that lasted barely a second—but it sent a ripple of awkward laughter through the group.

“See?” Ava said, grinning. “No big deal!”

“Yeah, no big deal,” Chris echoed, his tone sharper than necessary. You glanced at him again, noticing the tightness in his jaw and the way his knuckles whitened around his beer.

The game continued, but the tension lingering between you and Chris was impossible to ignore. Every time you caught his eye, there was an edge to his gaze, something simmering beneath the surface that he didn’t—or wouldn’t—acknowledge.

By the time Nick rolled again and burst out laughing at another absurd combination, the alcohol was hitting hard, and the night had officially veered into chaos.

The dice tumbled across the floor again, the room falling silent as everyone leaned in to see what Ava’s roll would dictate. When the dice stopped, the words rub and over clothes faced up, and Nick immediately burst into laughter.

“Oh my God,” he howled, pointing at Matt. “It’s you!”

Matt’s face turned beet red as all eyes shifted to him. Ava, however, wasn’t fazed at all. Instead, she grinned, a mischievous sparkle lighting up her eyes as she turned to her boyfriend.

“Well, well,” she teased, biting her lip to stifle a giggle. “Looks like it’s my lucky night.”

Matt laughed, burying his face in his hands. “Ava, we don’t have to—”

“Oh, come on,” she interrupted, moving to sit next to him. “We’re literally dating. It’s not like I haven’t done this before.”

Chris choked on his drink, Nick howled with laughter, and you found yourself half-hiding behind a throw pillow, your own face burning from excitement. 

“You’re really gonna do this?” Chris asked, his voice tinged with both disbelief and amusement.

“Absolutely,” Ava replied without hesitation, already positioning herself to straddle Matt’s lap. “Rules are rules, right?”

Matt peeked up at her, his face still flushed. “You’re way too excited about this.”

“You’re my boyfriend,” she said with a wink, leaning in closer. “Of course I’m excited.”

The rest of you erupted into laughter as Ava started playfully rubbing her hands over Matt’s chest and thighs, clearly enjoying both his embarrassment and the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Don’t make it weird, Matt,” Nick called out, nearly in tears from laughing so hard. “Just relax and enjoy the ride.”

“Oh, shut up,” Matt muttered, his voice muffled by his hands.

Ava leaned closer, her voice dropping just enough for only Matt to hear. “Relax, babe,” she teased, her hands brushing over his jeans in a way that made his whole body tense. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

Matt let out a nervous laugh, and the rest of you doubled over, the absurdity of the moment breaking whatever tension lingered from earlier. Even Chris was smirking now, shaking his head as he took another sip of his beer. 

Ava grinned wickedly as she climbed onto Matt’s lap, completely unbothered by the attention from the rest of you. Her confidence and excitement were palpable, and it only made Matt blush harder, his hands nervously resting on her thighs as she settled in.

“Okay,” she said with a playful smirk, running her hands over his shoulders first. “Let’s see how far we can push this without you making a mess of yourself.”

Matt groaned, leaning his head back against the couch, his cheeks still a deep shade of red. “Sweetheart, you’re killing me.”

“That’s the point,” she teased, her fingers trailing down his chest. “Rules are rules, babe.”

The room was filled with laughter, Nick practically doubled over on the floor as he wiped tears from his eyes. “Oh my God, this is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” he gasped, clutching his stomach.

Even Chris was leaning forward in his seat, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Matt, kid, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

“Chris,” Matt muttered, his voice strained, “shut up.”

Ava’s hands moved lower, pressing lightly against Matt’s stomach before slipping down to the front of his jeans. She rubbed him gently over the fabric, her grin growing as she felt him stiffen beneath her touch. “Oh,” she cooed, her tone both teasing and affectionate. “Someone’s enjoying this.”

Matt groaned again, his hands gripping her hips as he tried to shift away, but Ava didn’t let up. Her movements stayed playful, light enough to make him squirm but not enough to push things too far.

“Ava,” he said through gritted teeth, his voice low, “seriously, you’re going to kill me.”

“Not yet,” she teased, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “But I’m having way too much fun watching you suffer.”

The rest of you were practically crying with laughter, the absurdity of the moment too much to handle. Nick fell over onto the floor, gasping for air between fits of giggles, while Chris shook his head, his smirk widening.

“This is peak entertainment,” Chris said, his voice laced with amusement. “Matt, you’re a champ for putting up with this.”

Matt shot him a glare but couldn’t say much else as Ava’s hands continued to move, her touch just firm enough to keep him completely flustered. His breath hitched, and he squeezed his eyes shut, his entire body tense.

“Okay, okay,” Ava finally said, pulling her hands back and laughing as she sat up straighter. “I think that’s enough for now. Don’t wanna break you.”

Matt let out a long, shaky breath, his face still bright red as he muttered, “You already did.”

The room exploded with laughter again, Nick literally rolling on the floor as he clapped his hands. “Ava, you’re insane,” he declared, wiping his face.

Ava leaned in to kiss Matt’s forehead, her expression softening just a bit. “You did great, babe,” she teased, patting his chest. “I’m so proud of you.”

Matt groaned, hiding his face in her shoulder as the rest of you continued to laugh and tease. Even though he was mortified, the warmth in his eyes as he looked at Ava made it clear he wasn’t mad—just very, very embarrassed.

The room was still buzzing with laughter from Ava and Matt’s ridiculous display when Nick grabbed the dice, a mischievous grin plastered across his face. He held them up dramatically, shaking them for effect before letting them clatter onto the floor. Everyone leaned forward, waiting for the result.

Makeout and partner’s choice.

The room went silent for half a second before Nick, ever the showman, jumped up and pointed at you. “Y/N! You’re my partner of choice,” he announced, waggling his eyebrows.

Your eyes widened as laughter erupted around you. “Say less, mama. C‘mere.”

“HAAAAAA” Ava laughed, clearly enjoying your mortification as much as everyone else had enjoyed hers. Matt, still recovering from Ava’s teasing, managed a weak chuckle.

Nick strolled over to you, extending a hand like a gentleman. “Milady,” he said dramatically, “I promise to be gentle.”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” you muttered, but you couldn’t help laughing as you let him pull you up from the couch. “Two minutes? That’s insane.”

Chris, who had been leaning back with his beer, suddenly straightened in his seat. His jaw tightened as his gaze flicked between you and Nick. “You better keep it PG,” he muttered under his breath, but it was loud enough for you to catch.

Nick ignored him, his grin unwavering. “Alright, someone set a timer!” he called out, glancing at Ava, who gleefully grabbed her phone.

“Timer’s ready,” Ava announced, holding it up like a referee at a sporting event. “And… go!”

Nick didn’t waste any time, pulling you closer and pressing his lips to yours. You had expected it to be awkward and funny—just another silly moment in the ridiculous night—but Nick, to his credit, was surprisingly good at this. His hands rested lightly on your waist, and his kiss was playful, soft, and just a little teasing.

The room erupted with cheers and wolf whistles. “Get it, Nick!” Ava shouted, nearly falling off the couch as she laughed.

Matt shook his head, laughing along. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Meanwhile, Chris’s expression darkened. His beer sat untouched in his hand as his eyes locked on the two of you, a muscle in his jaw ticking. You caught his gaze out of the corner of your eye, and for a split second, you could swear you saw something more than annoyance—something sharper, hotter.

Nick, oblivious to the rising tension, deepened the kiss slightly, his thumb brushing your side as he leaned in closer. You couldn’t help but laugh against his lips, the ridiculousness of the situation making it impossible to take seriously.

“Thirty seconds left!” Ava announced, giggling uncontrollably.

Chris muttered something under his breath, his knuckles tightening around his beer bottle. He leaned forward slightly, his sharp gaze never leaving you and Nick. The air between you and Chris felt charged, like an undercurrent of something unspoken was threatening to surface.

When Ava finally shouted, “Time’s up!” Nick pulled back with a triumphant grin, his lips still slightly red. “Well,” he said, pretending to adjust an imaginary tie, “that was magical. You’re welcome, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing as you pushed his chest lightly. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head.”

The room was alive with laughter and jokes, but you couldn’t ignore the way Chris’s gaze lingered on you. His expression was a mix of frustration and something else—something darker that sent a shiver down your spine.

Nick plopped back onto the couch, throwing an arm over the back as if nothing had happened. Chris, however, stood abruptly, muttering something about getting another drink as he disappeared into the kitchen.

Ava leaned toward you, whispering, “Did you see Chris’s face? He looked like he was about to explode.”

You glanced toward the kitchen, where Chris was pointedly not looking at anyone, and felt a pang of unease mixed with something you couldn’t quite name. 

Chris strolled back into the room, his face unreadable as he grabbed a beer from the counter and leaned casually against the couch. The energy in the room had shifted slightly since Nick’s turn, and you could feel Chris’s gaze flick toward you every now and then, sharp and assessing.

“Alright,” Nick said, handing Chris the dice with an exaggerated flourish. “Your turn, bro. Don’t wimp out on us.”

Chris raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking into a half-smile. “Like I’d ever wimp out,” he said, shaking the dice with a deliberate slowness that made everyone groan.

“Just roll already!” Ava laughed, still curled up next to Matt.

Chris finally tossed the dice onto the floor. Everyone leaned forward to see the result, and the room went dead silent as the words hickeys and boobs faced up.

“Holy shit,” Nick breathed, his face lighting up with mischievous glee. “This is about to get interesting.”

Matt immediately turned to Ava. “Not happening,” he said firmly, his protective instincts kicking in before anyone could even suggest her name.

Ava raised her hands in mock surrender. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m off-limits.”

Chris’s eyes flicked toward you, and you froze as the realization hit. He couldn’t pick Ava, which left… you.

“Well,” he drawled, his voice smooth and low as his gaze locked onto yours, “looks like you’re up, Y/N.”

Your breath hitched, and the room collectively erupted into laughter and cheers. “Are we deadass right now.” you protested, your face heating up.

“Rules are rules,” Nick said, barely holding back his laughter.

Chris set his beer down, standing up and extending a hand toward you. “C’mere,” he said simply, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Chris settled back onto the couch, motioning for you to come closer. The room felt electric, charged with a mix of laughter and tension as you hesitated for a moment. Then, with every eye on you, you slowly made your way toward him, your heartbeat pounding louder with each step.

He reached out, taking your hand and pulling you onto his lap with a confidence that made your stomach flip. His hands rested on your waist, steadying you as he leaned in, his voice low and teasing. “Relax,” he murmured, his lips brushing your ear. “I’m not gonna bite—unless you ask.

“Hey,” Ava said, waving her hand like a referee. “No funny business, Chris.”

Chris smirked, his eyes gleaming with something dangerously close to mischief. “Relax,” he said, his voice low and smooth. “I’ve got this under control.”

His hands slid up your sides, his movements slow and deliberate as he hooked his fingers under the hem of your shirt. “This okay?” he asked, his voice softer now, meant only for you.

You swallowed hard, nodding, your cheeks burning. The room had fallen eerily quiet, everyone watching with varying degrees of curiosity and amusement.

Chris lifted your shirt over your head, letting it drop to the floor. Then, with a quick, practiced motion, he unhooked your bra and let it fall forward, though he made sure to keep your back to the rest of the room. From their vantage point, all anyone could see was your bare shoulders and the curve of your spine.

He glanced around the room briefly, addressing the group. “Just so we’re clear,” he said, his tone light but carrying a hint of warning, “this is for my eyes only.” 

“You good?” Chris murmured, his lips brushing against your ear as his hands settled back on your hips.

“Yeah,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

His fingers trailed lightly over your skin, sending a shiver through you before he leaned forward, his lips pressing against the curve of your shoulder. He started slow, his mouth warm and deliberate as he worked his way toward the base of your neck. Each kiss was soft but insistent, and you felt your pulse quicken as his teeth grazed your skin, just enough to make you gasp.

“Jesus,” Nick muttered from somewhere behind you, breaking the silence. “This is… wow.”

“Yeah I’m horny as fuck” Ava sighed, though her tone was more amused than anything.

Chris ignored them, his focus entirely on you. His lips moved with precision, leaving a trail of red marks along your skin, his breath warm against you. His hands tightened slightly on your hips, holding you steady as he pressed another kiss just above your collarbone, lingering longer this time.

Chris’s hands stayed firmly on your waist, his thumbs brushing the curve of your hips as he leaned in again, his eyes locked on yours. “You’re so tense,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing. “We’ve got time.”

Before you could respond, his lips found your collarbone again, trailing down with unhurried precision. He pressed another kiss just above the swell of your chest, his mouth lingering longer this time. The warmth of his breath against your skin made your pulse race, and you gripped his jeans tighter, trying to ground yourself.

“Chris,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

He hummed softly, his lips curving into a smirk against your skin. “Hmm? Something you wanna say?”

Your breath hitched as his teeth grazed a particularly sensitive spot just below your collarbone, the sensation sending a jolt of heat through you. He pulled back slightly, his red-rimmed eyes meeting yours with a mix of mischief and intensity.

“You okay?” he asked, his tone condescending.

You nodded, unable to find your voice. Chris tilted his head, studying you for a moment before leaning back in. This time, his kisses were slower, his lips brushing against the soft skin of your tits. He left a trail of faint red marks, each one deliberate and placed with care around your nipples, like he was painting a picture only the two of you could see.

The room around you felt like it had disappeared entirely. You were vaguely aware of the occasional murmur or laugh from your friends, but their voices were distant, muted by the pounding of your heart and the heat of Chris’s touch.

His hands slid up your sides, his thumbs skimming the curve of your ribs as he tilted his head to press another kiss just above your sternum. He paused, his tongue flicking lightly over the mark he’d just made, soothing the sting before moving to a new spot.

“You’re letting me take my time,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke. “I didn’t expect that.”

You swallowed hard, your voice shaky. “What do you mean?”

Chris chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against your chest. “You’ve always been a little stubborn. I figured you’d push me away by now.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but his lips found your nipple, and all coherent thoughts evaporated. His teeth grazed your skin, just enough to make you gasp, and his hands tightened on your waist, holding you steady as your body instinctively grinded down on him.

The tension between you was thick, almost suffocating, as his kisses became more purposeful, more insistent. He moved to your other nipple, leaving a series of marks along your breast that you knew would linger long after the night was over.

Finally, after what felt like both an eternity and no time at all, Chris leaned back slightly, his hands moving back to your waist. “All done,” he said softly, though his eyes lingered on your purple and red chest for a moment longer.

“Damn,” Nick said, shaking his head with a grin and leaning over to catch a glimpse. “Chris, you didn’t have to make it an art form.”

“Shut up,” Chris muttered, though his smirk betrayed his amusement. He picked up his beer again, taking a slow sip as he leaned back into the couch. “Don’t look at that,”

Ava gave you a knowing look, her grin playful. “You good, Y/N? You look a little… flustered.”

You avoided Chris’s gaze, your cheeks burning as you focused on adjusting your shirt. “I’m fine,” you said quickly, though your heart was still racing.

Chris leaned closer to grab his beer, his voice low enough for only you to hear. “You’re fine, huh?” His eyes glinted with that same mix of mischief and heat. “Good to know.”

Chris smirked as you fumbled to put your shirt and bra back on, his eyes lingering just a little too long as you adjusted the fabric over your chest. Before you could fully settle back onto the couch, he caught your waist with one hand and turned you around so you were sitting sideways on his lap. The movement was seamless, and natural, as though he had done this a hundred times before with you. Which wasn’t nesicarily a lie. 

“Whoa,” you mumbled, caught off guard.

He chuckled softly, his other arm coming around your waist, resting there with a protective ease. “Relax,” he murmured, his voice low and calm. “You look more comfortable here.”

You could feel the warmth of his body against yours, the weight of his arm across your waist grounding you. But what made your breath hitch was the distinct pressure beneath you, the unmistakable hardness pressing against your thigh and lower back. Your cheeks burned as you tried not to squirm, hyperaware of every shift in your position.

Chris’s grip tightened slightly, his thumb brushing the fabric of your shirt in a way that sent a shiver through you. He didn’t say anything about your reaction, but the faint smirk on his lips suggested he knew exactly what you were feeling.

“You good?” he asked, knowing damn well.

You nodded quickly, your hands nervously clutching your knees. “Yeah,” you said, though your voice wavered slightly.

The game continued, though your focus was shot. Every time someone laughed or shouted, it felt like background noise compared to the steady rise and fall of Chris’s chest against your back. His arm stayed firmly around your waist, his fingers occasionally flexing, sending small jolts of heat through you.

Nick rolled another absurd combination and ended up having to kiss Avas neck, which sent everyone into fits of laughter. Ava, still giggling, leaned into Matt, her head resting on his shoulder as the group wound down.

Eventually, the game fizzled out, everyone too tired or too drunk to keep it going. Nick sprawled out on the floor, groaning. “Alright, I call dibs on sleeping in Y/N’s bed,” he announced, throwing an arm over his face dramatically.

You laugh but agree nonetheless. 

“I don’t wanna deal with Chris kicking me all night. And the couch sucks.”

Chris’s arm tensed around your waist for a brief second before he let out a low laugh, leaning back against the couch. “Fine,” he muttered, his tone sharp. “Enjoy.”

Ava stretched, her eyes half-lidded with sleep. “Matt and I are obviously taking my room,” she said, standing and pulling Matt to his feet.

Chris shifted beneath you, his hand dropping from your waist as he gently nudged you to stand. “Guess that leaves me with the couch,” he said casually, though there was an edge to his voice.

You glanced at him as you stood, catching the flicker of something in his expression—annoyance? Frustration? It disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by his usual smirk.

“Night, Y/N,” he said, his eyes meeting yours for just a moment too long.

“Night,” you mumbled, your cheeks heating again as you turned away, trying not to think about the warmth of his hands or the way your body had reacted to being so close to him.

Nick grabbed your arm, tugging you toward your room with a grin. “Come on, bestie,” he teased. “Let’s crash before Chris decides to steal your bed or hop in with you and kick me out.”

You glanced back briefly, catching Chris settling onto the couch, one arm draped over the back as he watched you leave. His smirk was faint but there, and it stayed with you as you closed the door behind you, trying not to let your thoughts spiral into dangerous territory.

MASTERLIST

tags: @mattsobvimyfav @sturnsvelocity @ilovejohnnieguilbertsblog @mattsturnii @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @watercolorskyy @strangecatpeach @katie1002 @1ovesiick

[rivalswrites]

Hello how about Peter as a best friend? Maybe reader is also a hero and they can be hero buddies but they also know their real identity and hang out :3

Rooming with Spiderman while also being a hero

Before you read, please be warned that I'm writing based on my impressions of them not only in the game (though it's the biggest inspiration), but some of them with the movies/shows in mind too.

I hope you don't mind, but I made you and Peter roommates for convenience hehe

Sorry this isn't super specific, I had some trouble thinking of what to add

Masterlist

Rooming with the friendly neighborhood Spiderman™ was great, because on top of being best friends you were also a superhero. Meaning you two often hung out a lot more than the average person you think was healthy- but y'all were just guys being dudes.

Obviously separate rooms were a must, privacy is always important, but honestly that didn't matter anymore. You'd both end up somehow getting your laundry mixed up and wore each other's clothing without even noticing (suits were never mixed up).

The communication between you two wasn't always ideal, but a system can always be worked out. If Peter had a very important project at work that took up a lot of his time, he'd make sure to tell you so you knew you'd most likely work as a hero alone for awhile- more on your plate perhaps. And obviously, vice versa- you have something important he'll take up more hero work.

The flat you two shared definitely wasn't the cleanest, but it wasn't dirty either. A bag of chips was always on the coffee table, as well as some sodas- whether they were empty or not was unknown until cleaning day came around. Chores are always split evenly, you clean one space he cleans a different space, sometimes you split up a spaces cleaning (definitely the living room, maybe the kitchen), and dishes duty alternated unless absolutely necessary.

It was great being his friend, he was smart and knew how to get out of a pickle. He was also willing to take care of you when you needed it, and obviously you'd do the same. The both of you knew how hero-ing was, how dangerous it was, so it's no shock the two of you always checked in with each other every now and then about how it's going in that area.

Civilian life isn't always spent together, the both of you have jobs and separate social circles, but a lot of the time free afternoons are spent playing video games or dogging on horrible reality TV.

TMI does NOT exist between the two of you, it hasn't for ages- even before you two had moved in together.

Overall: it's great being friends with Peter, he's nice and in turn you are too. Typical dude stuff, no?

[papaver-decervicatus]

Cat/Mouse/Den: Pt. 1, Cat

Alone on wilderness patrol, König’s radio intercepts an enemy transmission meant for a SpecGru sniper. Within a beautiful and capable woman’s crosshair, something electric and treacherous takes root in his heart, and he decides to tempt his doom. It’s a game of cat and mouse, and it’s been far too long since he has had anything worth hunting.

CW: Obsession, stalking, canon typical violence, intrusive thoughts, unsanitary wound care

Authors Note: Huge shout-outs to @kneelingshadowsalome and @sprout-fics for writing some really great fics that inspired me to write this and for being such kind beta readers!

This work is inteded to pass as x reader or x OC in third person POV, German is from google translate, feel free to correct me if you can!

This project started out very small and has definitely spiraled out of control. To all readers, please enjoy and let me know what you think!~ Caedis

Pt. 1, Cat | 1.3k words | König POV | NEXT

“They call you… Maus?” König says into his radio. 

It’s a mistake. That he’s heard the transmission. That he found her position. He’s sure that she sees him, he knows he’s good as dead. 

He’d seen her file in a briefing. Some SpecGru sniper, relatively new to the force. Accolades nothing short of damn impressive but with a general disposition against war. She’s a good rule follower unless she hates the rule and then she tends to do her own thing. Overall, mixed bag, but too useful to refuse. She wouldn’t be on the force if she weren’t some sort of useful. 

Most of what he’d thought was, “Wow, really? That many targets? Seems temperamental. Wish I could’ve been a sniper. Seems much more peaceful.” And then a much quieter, general, passing: “She’s pretty.” 

And that was it, really. When he got moved to solo wilderness patrol, it was Klaus’s idea to give him intel on who he thought would be most likely to be on patrols alone. As the resident wilderness expedition expert, he thought it most reasonable to give König and a few others on similar patrols the basics on her and a few of her comrades. Quite mundane for his line of work, all things considered. 

The irony isn’t lost on him, that him doing the very thing her file warns his upper command about, “doing his own thing,” is what will kill him. He’s out about five miles from where he should be, dangerously far. But, he always had a weakness for the mountains. When he realized his route to do shipment surveillance was close to a ravine, there was no question in his mind that he was going to check it out. 

And it’s got him in a good-looking lady’s sniper scope, right as the sun sets behind her. She’s got a perfect shot. 

What's that silly English phrase? Curiosity killed the cat? 

He smiles about it, though. He’s happy it’s a sniper. Happy it’s a pretty one. 

“You’re not my target.” Is her response. She shouldn’t be able to radio back to him. 

Strange. 

“Not an answer. And who is then?” He quips back into the static, still not quite sure he believes she’s there. Even at every possible disadvantage, this is still his territory, he’s still the king of his little domain, of this minuscule set of battle strip. It’s pathetic, the only place he feels any sort of peace is at war. 

“Negative to both.” 

“Playing hard to get. That’s fine with me.”

He hears her chuckle before she shuts off her end. 

This is… most exhilarating. 

He finds her in the tree line, and he smiles. She’s across the 80-yard-long ravine. There’s a creek at the bottom, and interesting flora marks the cliffs all the way down. He wonders what wildlife drinks from the stream down there and if there are any decent caves he could find an opening to. If any could fit him, that would be. She’s found a good post, in the branches of an inconspicuous tree. That’s right, she specialized in tree climbing and tracking if he remembers her file well enough. It’s a pretty perch, no wonder she chose it. 

A younger part of him is jealous. The older part smothers that part down as he takes in the view. 

The sun is setting behind her. She’s very far away, but his skin prickles to life knowing that he’s being watched. The exposed rock of the ravine flames to life with amazing browns and reds, and the stone sparkles like rubies and tiger’s eye stones as the sun's rays catch it. 

It’s a beautiful place, really. It’s not such a bad place to die, he thinks. She’s a good shot. She’ll do it quickly. Nothing to fret about, really. It’s his own fault, anyways. 

He knows if he runs to or from her, he’s dead. So he stands still. 

Waiting. 

For what?

He doesn’t know. A fairy tale? An Angel? A sign from God? His own comms? The common sense to radio his own and tell them about the fucking sniper in the tree?

He doesn’t know. 

So he waits for her to make the first move. 

“If you turn tail,” She warns, his radio crackling to life, “I won’t shoot.”

He’s going to die, might as well have some fun at it. 

“I will- if you tell me why they call you Maus.” His accent lingers on the word, just about the same in Deutsch as it is in English. Maybe that’s where the Brits got the word from in the first place? Some Germanic mountain peoples from long, long, long ago? 

He can’t see her in detail, she’s much too far. But with his hazy memory of her file, he imagines her face contorted in with the effort of deciding what to do. He thinks of her blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face. He thinks about her flexing her fingers around, but not squeezing, the trigger. 

She seems to chew her lip on this one. He already knows her code name, it’ll do very little good or bad for him to know just why. 

“I’ll bite, soldier.” She says, hurriedly, like someone might walk in on their little game. Like the teacher is about to find the two kissing in a supply closet at the school. Like she knows this is bordering dangerously close to bloody. 

“Quid pro quo?” She asks. 

It’s not a no. 

He smiles. His cheeks get red as they flick upwards in a grin of pure giddiness. What a fun way to die. Playing a silly little game like this? Fantastic!

“I think you know.”

“König?”

“Ja.” To his delight, her accent scraping its way around his call sign, the only name he cares about at this point, isn’t half bad. Being so seen on the battlefield should make his chest tighten, but not quite like this. It’s wrong, but then again he actually enjoys war so maybe he’s never quite been right, either. 

“Why?”

It’s his turn to laugh and rush out a response. He sits down on the ground and opens his legs as wide as they’ll comfortably go and rests his cheek in his hand propped on his thigh. If he’s going to die, he’s going to give her a pretty show. He’s going to die comfortably lazing around like a cat on a windowsill, taunting the stray tabby outside who so desperately wants to claw him to death. 

“You first, Schatz,” he downright purrs into his mic. He’s no fool, if he could see her up close, he would not be flirting with disaster like he is currently. 

He can’t see her, she’s much too far away, but he imagines her chest constricting beautifully and her biting her lip. He imagines her lips pressed into a thin line while she claws into her upper arm, trying to regain control. Like it’s all a silly game. And, maybe it is.

Cat and mouse. 

He likes the sound of that. 

Her voice returns to him, low and slow like she’s dragging her tongue over every syllable like she’s trying honest-to-goodness to taste him. 

“Maybe next time, König.” 

He can hear the smile in her voice. Maybe she’s enjoying the game, too?

A shot rings out, and his blood whistles and boils. It hits the tree 6 feet to his left at exact head height. His ears start to ring, but he’s entirely unharmed as birch bark splinters around him. 

“Position compromised, moving.” Is what she radios to her command. 

“Rog, Mouse.” Command calls back. 

He sees movement from her position, but he knows she’s much too far for him to get to her in time. He laughs bright and loud and gets himself up off the ground. 

“Nächests mal, kleine Mäuschen.” Next time, little mouse. He says, to no one in particular. It’s been a long while since König has had so much fun like this on the battlefield. At a genuine disadvantage, put into a position that size and strength alone won’t remedy. And he’s sure as hell not ruining it by telling anyone, no matter how dangerous that is. 

A game of cat and mouse? 

Good. 

It’s been far too long since he had something worth hunting.

[wanderingoff]

Challengers Fic Recs!

I've completely fallen down the Challengers fic rabbit hole since I saw the movie a second time in June, and I'm surprised I haven't seen any Challengers rec lists floating around! I've read what feels like half the tag at this point, so I decided, hey, I guess that one's on me. I've been really impressed by the overall quality of what I've been reading, so these really feel like the creme de la creme and I hope even if you haven't read Challengers fic before, you give some of them a shot! (I will say, I'm not sure this is the best fandom to read without having seen the film, but the movie is SO good, just watch it and then come back) (Also, I don't read Reader inset fic which seems really popular in the fandom, so no shade to any of those authors, just not my bag!)

I wrote these little summaries cuz this post was so long! Without further ado, in order of length so I didn't have to obsess over that too:

let it once be me by wastelandbaby - 4444 words, M, Post-canon, Throuple, Getting together. Summary: An immediate post-match threesome can't fix what's wrong with them. Tashi and Patrick are texting and Art's crippling insecurity won't let him see what's directly in front of his face. Art POV. Rec: This fic is so short and un-sweet; I want to say it speedruns the beats that make so many throuple getting together fics work except it doesn't feel rushed in the slightest, and the ending is completely unique and honestly took my breath away.

open heart / open container by comosum - 5106 words, M, Post-Canon, Getting together Summary: The throuple is getting together, but Art and Patrick have to have a conversation first. Art POV. Rec: A large portion of this is one conversation and the dialogue fucking slaps. It does an unusually good job of having Art and Patrick directly/explicitly address each other's queerness before initiating sex, managing to thread the needle of "he would not fucking say that" and "it's actually not totally unrealisitic for these guys to be moderately self-aware at least of themselves."

give it a hand, offer it a soul by thcscus - 6493 words, T, Post-Canon, Established Throuple Patrick is playing his best for Art and Tashi. Patrick gets injured. Patrick doesn't know if it's the tennis that's over, or everything. Mixed POV. Rec: In the Exquisite Agony fandom, this is possibly the most Exquisitely Agonizing fic I've read. It's horrific. It's shocking how short it is compared to the rest of this list, but within the first 400 words my heart was in my fucking throat and it didn't come down for the remainder.

a romantic fool by spqr - 10300 words, E, Canon-compliant, Established Throuple. Lily is Patrick's. Art loves her for it. Art POV. Rec: Hands down, the fic that inspired this list and one of my gateway drugs into Challengers fic. I want everyone to read it.

this monstrous fire by kithmet - 10672 words, E, Post-Canon Throuple Getting together. An immediate post-match threesome can fix what's wrong with them. Along with some eavesdropping. Art POV. Bonus: kithmet made an incredible Challengers playlist not specifically for this fic, open relationship Rec: This is the closest thing to a fix-it on this list (it's very far from a fix-it), and I think convincing me these three could possibly figure their shit out in the short timeline of this fic is incredibly impressive character work.

neverland by ameliepoulain - 14079 words, E, Post-Canon, Art/Patrick, Getting together. Patrick quits tennis and moves on. Art quits tennis and does not. Patrick POV. (The second part of the series, second star to the right, is Art POV, pre-throuple, and essential.)(Bonus! Comes with playlist!*) Rec: Of all the fic on this list, I think this one takes the biggest swing on its set-up and for me that completely pays off. The two parts of the series also do an incredible job of demonstrating how opaque these people are to each other and do SUCH a good job of differentiating voices/experiences).

wishbone by a__peach__tree - 18375 words, E, Post-Canon, Throuple, Getting together. An immediate post-match threesome can't fix what's wrong with them. Patrick buys a ticket to the US Open, and waits, and tries to get his life together. Patrick POV. Comes with playlist*! Rec: This author does the most convincing Patrick-trying-his-hardest I've read; the action becomes so interior over the course of the fic and the tension ramps up so high I caught myself talking to the characters out loud, literally begging them to do the right thing.

american doubles by sticky valentine - 19166 words, E, Post-Canon, Throuple, Getting Together. An immediate post-match threesome won't fix what's wrong with them. Art invites Patrick to follow them to Cincinatti. Tashi thinks she knows what's going on. Tashi POV. Rec: I'm SO glad I found this fic before sending this post to press because we need Tashi POV and I think this does a great job of drawing back the curtain on her machinations and leaning into how human, fallible, and confused she is.

make it all look painless by sundaymournin - 20277 words, M, During-canon slight AU Or, this author outright rejects that these three had the self-control to actually stay away from one another. Art POV. Rec: Another true Exquisite Agony fic; it interlaces with canon beautifully and addresses Art's obvious anxiety more directly than anything else on this list, along with his self-loathing. This is the fic that takes the "none of them can stop hurting each other or themselves" to it's logical extreme without like, actual extreme behavior that would break character or make canon events impossible.

Bonus AU: it's getting better by spqr - 9025 words, T, No injury AU Let Art and Patrick be shlubs! Reckon with painful truth of a life in service to a single, unloving dream! Let Tashi find her way back to them anyway! Tashi POV. Rec: For me, the appeal of Challengers is how well crafted the movie is, so I've shied away from the handful of AUs. But a) ALL of spqr's Challengers fics are shockingly good, and b) out of all the fic on this list, this is the one I can most easily hear the dialogue in the actual voices of these characters & their actors, which is a high compliment from someone who does not have a very concrete imagination.

*I made these Spotify playlists based off text lists of songs in the author's notes of these fics.

[inspector-montoya-fox]

You know sometimes i like using my tumblr as like a brain rot bank? Like a time capsule for thoughts and opinion that cater to no one but everyone is welcome to enjoy and partake. And today i'll be doing just that because i have finally finished The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles. If you've been following me for a while you know that this is lowkey monumental because (a) it means that i have officially played all Ace Attorney games, and (b) i have been struggling to finish these two games since their bundled release three years ago. So, i just wanted to share some general thoughts, some tier lists, and feel free to let me know what you think if you read what i have to say!

Ok so, my main takeaway from playing the two games is that... Dr Courtney Sithe is a bad bitch deserving of the same praise as Franziska, Lana Skye, Justine Courtney, Dee Vasquez and Calisto Yew. I genuinely love her so much. Miss Buttplug Hair got her PhD in being a girlboss and i'm so upset she was only in one case. For such a cool character with an amazing design, she was criminally underdeveloped. Same goes for my other fav, Rei Membani. Soon as it was mentioned that Professor Mikotoba and Judge Jigoku were on their way to the UK, i was one hundred percent sure she'd accompany them, and i was ultimately disappointed. To have her right next to Susato on the game's cover art and give her such an amazing takedown of Raiten Menimemo... and then just not have her be anywhere else was such a shame. I need more Dr Sithe and Rei !

The rest of the games' characters were a bit of a mixed bag with some obvious (and some unexpected) stand-outs. Here's my tier list:

Notes:

The biggest surprise that came when i was making this is how high i placed Herlock. I started off hating him so much and then he just suddenly grew on me so quickly, i hadn't even noticed. One of my favourites for sure.

I think we can all collectively agree that we have, at some point in our lives, embodied Pop Windibank... poor guy...

I don't know what Kazuma's deal is. He starts off as Ryunosuke's Mia Fey before um... just becoming a jerk? Why does he have beef with his best friend who was literally mourning him for almost a year? Can't lie though, the bitch looks hot in his white uniform.

Some of the jurors made a bigger impression than actual characters/ witnesses, just by having cool designs. Mainly the green lady, who rightfully earned her spot in the third tier after i found out she's supposed to be a reincarnation of the teacher from PLvsPW !

Eggert Benedict or whatever the fuck that rich breakdancing asshole is called, cannot be a final villain i'm sorry. Seriously, what were they thinking?

The two redheads are such a shameless rip-off of the Skulkins. Two ruffians taking the witness stand for the game's climax AGAIN !? And during the credits, they pose in their prison cell with "Gossip" in the middle the exact same way Eggert and the Skulkins did in the credits of Adventures, like no thank you.

I love how my overall bottom 3 are an annoying str*ight couple and a child.

If Stronghart wasn't in the second (very coveted) tier, he'd be in the bottom of 'like !' because he was ok. It's blatantly obvious he's the big bad from the second he's introduced but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Also, i need him and Damon Gant to have a fat titty bounce-off.

Moving on to criticisms, i can't help but feel like the fact that Shu Takumi decided to split his original script into two games only served to hurt the entire project. Because, for starters, each game has a different feel and the two don't match. Adventures is reminiscent of PLvsPW, Takumi's whimsical and eccentric love letter to the UK that hinges heavily on exposition. Resolve, on the other hand, is a bit of a mix between its predecessor and traditional Ace Attorney, its cases focusing more on driving the narrative to its conclusion rather than experimenting on the classic formula (as with the first game). It also echoes aspects of the first Investigations, bringing in diplomatic immunity, international relations, "tracking down and going against the head of the evil organisation" (the Reaper storyline is very similar to the Yatagarasu one). Personally the two vibes don't mesh, even when Resolve tries to latch onto Adventures with Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro, for example.

Then, the pacing in both games is all over the place. Adventures is just so unreasonably and unashamedly long-winded and slow, it's the reason it took me literally three years to get into it. The game repeats the same lines of dialogue again and again until they're made painfully clear, subsequently making the player (or at least me) feel like an idiot who needs to read the same thing 13 times in order to get it. This, coupled with the fact that actual gameplay was almost nowhere to be seen and that progression in the courtroom almost always relied on not pointing out inconsistencies but pressing the witnesses adjacent to the one testifying, made the game such a slog to get through. And once the game started to pick up, it was over before i even knew it and in a very unceremonious fashion no less. In comparison, Resolve is very streamlined, albeit a bit too fast-paced. With the exception of Memoirs, which felt like shameless filler, it's clear that they wanted to waste zero time and crammed so much stuff into the episodes, to the point where it became difficult to keep track of everything going on. Because, keep in mind, the second game was tasked with tying up all the loose threads from the first one.

This leads to my final criticism regarding the split: inconsistencies and unresolved mysteries. I think it reads as careless writing when questions keep sprouting everywhere and their answers are reserved for the final two episodes of the second game. Even Unspeakable, a final case, introduces mysteries tied to the overarching narrative just for them to be shelved until Twisted Karma, leaving the player with a sense of dissatisfaction when the game ends. Not only is it frustrating to keep track of all the unsolved mysteries, a chore which good writing would not expect from the player, but it also has you questioning whether or not some of them will get answered at all. Why was the selection of jurors obviously rigged? Why did Van Zieks stop appearing in court five years prior? Where did he lose his gun in Twisted Karma? Why didn't Stronghart assassinate Madame Tusspells as well? Why is Kazuma fully exonerated after admitting to his involvement in the assassin exchange? I grouped the unresolved mysteries with inconsistencies as one problem because the latter is a result of the former. The majority of mysteries spills over from the first game to the second, giving way to different phrasing, details getting glossed over and the plot's consequences getting ignored. There's a very apparent shift in Gregson's character, for example, going from uncooperative and rigid in Adventures to more forgiving and helpful in Resolve, all the while his misconduct from Unspeakable is seemingly forgotten and met with zero ramifications. There's also the government's secret message about the assassin exchange Herlock deciphered at the end of the first game, which sets up the second game nicely but then doesn't get mentioned until the very last day in court. Like, come on now. It feels like Resolve continues Adventures' story without wanting to acknowledge it because, in the grand scheme of things, McGilded and Eggert Benedict seem to not matter at all. And then there's Memoirs, which... Inconsistency City, honestly. This episode's lack of impact on the overall story allowed it to be literally anything else. It's such a bizarre choice to have it be something which only achieves in taking away from the first Clouded Kokoro case! Like ok, i can get behind it being a case no one wanted to talk about so it didn't make the first game. I can turn a blind eye to the inconsistent character development and timeline, whatever. But it absolutely drives me nuts that, for an Ace Attorney game where the murders are explained in full detail, they couldn't stay consistent with the direction Olive Green was walking in. Hate. Loathe. Get it away from me.

That pretty much covers it in terms of complaints, because otherwise i enjoyed my playthrough quite a bit actually. I know i've just spent like 3 mega-sized paragraphs complaining but the games have great elements as well. The Deduction dances are easily the best thing about the gameplay, especially when you didn't see them coming. They were so much fun to play, very animated and cartoony with amazing banter, and effortlessly accelerated the investigation segments. Equally, i loved Judicial Findings. Undoubtedly my favourite part of the courtroom sections and a welcome change of pace. I tended to stall a lot because the jury's music fucks so hard. While on the topic of what i liked, Ryunosuke and Susato's chemistry rivals what Phoenix and Maya have going on. Susato leaving at the end of Adventures was a genuinely effective point in the plot, even though i knew she'd be back.

Now, let's take a closer look at the episodes. Here's my overall tier list of all Ace Attorney cases, the Great Ace Attorney ones being highlighted in yellow:

Notes:

Blossoming Attorney gobbled the rest of the girls right up (a court-only episode, no less). They gave us Susato gameplay, what more can you ask for? An amazing case. Gay Women in STEM !!

Return kinda strikes a nice balance between the different feels of the two games i mentioned before. You've got exposition and world-building with the whole Great Exhibition, turn of the century mad science thing, but also classic Ace Attorney with tracking down Drebber (very Matt Engarde's apartment) and Madame Tusspells as just some witness (very Lisa Basil). A very fun case right before the clusterfuck of mysteries ensues. Also, Dr Courtney Sithe !!!!! Girl you're such a star and you don't even know it spit in my mouth

Was tempted to put Unspeakable in the second tier but i think it's earned its high placement on its own merit and not because of personal bias. It's a great case. Maybe not for a final one, but it's still great. It tries its hardest to tie up some loose ends before the game ends and that's worth something.

Resolve of Ryunosuke is objectively better than Twisted because i could not give less of a fuck about the purple guy's headache and Espella Cantabella selling firecrackers, but they're both very much one single package. Extra points to Resolve of Ryunosuke though for having its villain sit at the judge's seat. That was neat.

The two Clouded Kokoros are giving stinky Bri ish culture with the whole apartment building background, like Ribena, bad teeth, rusty Union Jack, horseshit breath at the pub, you awrite luv? Slander, i'm sorry.

Slightly unrelated but when i was making this tier list it became so obvious that Investigations 2 is the crown jewel of the franchise. Like it has two cases in the top 5, how can you even argue against that?

Arriving to a conclusion, i'd say both games belong on the same level as Apollo Justice: a blend of good and bad. My experience playing the Ace Attorney franchise has followed this trend of attaching each game to a pivotal moment in my life. I finished the first game while i was still a soldier, Justice for All during my first year at university, Dual Destinies during Covid lockdown, Investigations while helping my parents set up their shop one summer. So i know i'll look back at playing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles right after handing my dissertation very fondly. In other words, despite not quite sticking the landing, it's left a very pleasant aftertaste. Thank you for reading!

[renegadeknight]

Hi Rachel! I hope you’re having a lovely Christmas if you celebrate. You’re both a writer and an artist, so I want to know: how is your approach to one different than the other? Or maybe how are they similar? Which do you feel more compelled to (if you even have a preference)?

Hi Kayli! Christmas is always a mixed bag for me but there have been some very lovely moments this year. I hope you've had a good holiday season as well ❤️

This is a fun question because I've honestly learned a lot about my writing in the past two years and one of the things I learned is a similarity to art! I used to agonize over writing stuff perfect from a blank page and so I would spend a lot of time staring at it, trying to pull the words out. But this year I've really embraced the "the only thing a first draft has to do is exist" mentality and it's really helped me just get ideas down, sketches of scenes is how I view them, it doesn't have to be good, finished, or polished right away, it just has to be enough to build on later - like a first sketch when I'm drawing!

(this got a little long so the rest is under the cut)

Then I go back for a second pass and add more details, more color/figurative language/body language/etc while I flesh it out, much like a second/cleaner sketch or adding color/rendering artwork. Its something that feels very obvious in hindsight but just didn't click until the last year or so.

I'd say the biggest difference between the two is that I almost always start art with finding references for whatever I want to draw. I hover somewhere between a 3 and 4 on the aphantasia scale so even though I have ideas and impressions of what I'd like to get down in my head, I can't picture the details of how should look without references. Whereas in writing, I tend to only need reference/research when it comes to certain topics/specific elements of a story - altho I will say I have created moodboards/reference boards to describe certain settings in a bit greater detail than my baseline attempts, so I guess even that is sort of similar!

Over the years I've oscillated back and forth between art and writing so I don't think that one is more compelling than the other overall but for *right now* I am definitely more compelled by writing. I'm sure there are a lot of factors at play there but I think a big part of it is just the community fandom space that is cultivated with fic writing. We are all here because we love these same little guys so much and I have made some wonderful new friends along the way 🩵

thank you so much for the ask, this was fun to think on and talk about 🩵

[thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis]

Every Epic Rap Battle of History Ranked, Part 3

Part 2

29. Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine 

Winner: Wolverine 

Best line: "You're a pedophile from the Midwest, at least R. Kelly could sing."

I mentioned this earlier (like 50 entries ago), but this is probably the single most visually impressive ERB to date. If anyone had any doubts about ERB going independent after being under Maker Studios for so many years, this quickly quashed them. Costumes look amazing, the backgrounds and lighting are top-notch, and of course, the nightmare sequences are fun and creative. Love the part of Freddy turning into a magnet to pull Wolverine in. But how's the actual battle? Well, it's great too! Both performances are stellar, and there's some great lines - "that wasn't even my main diss, it was just a side burn", "that claw is like a strap-on: there's a pussy underneath". Really great stuff.

28. Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill

Winner: Theodore Roosevelt

Best line: "I'll bust a trust fund lush with my American muscles, so walk softly over here and give my big stick a suckles!"

This was a battle that was hyped up for a long time thanks to Teddy Roosevelt's frequent appearances on the channel to announce news, and I'd say it lived up to the hype. Lloyd is clearly having the time of his life finally getting to play Teddy, and I'd say it's one of his best performances to date. While a couple of Churchill's lines are duds (I always groan at "Any way you want to fight, I'll fight you and I'll beat you, see"), it's not enough to sink this battle.

27. Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer

Winner: J. Robert Oppenheimer

Best line: "Cause you break and bleed so easy, I think I'll call you Oppen-hymen."

It's interesting that this battle came out shortly before the Oppenheimer movie was announced and subsequently turned Oppenheimer into a household name. Good coincidental timing. I remember watching this for the first time, hearing Thanos's absolutely killer first verse, and thinking "Oh, he's got this in the bag". But then Oppenheimer fired back with a killer verse of his own! Sadly, this battle isn't as close as I'd hoped it would be, since Thanos definitely falls off on his second verse, but overall, the fight is still packed with great lines.

Peter's Oppenheimer portrayal is also amazing - the fact that he manages to mix in the melancholic, regretful tone and mannerisms the real Oppenheimer was known for while firing off disses is nothing short of incredible. It's something that shouldn't work, yet he makes it work beautifully. Lloyd's Thanos is pretty good too, although I don't know what happened with the costume; it's pretty clear that Lloyd can barely move his mouth in the mask, so it's a little distracting. I feel like there had to have been a better way to make Thanos's face work, especially when they already made Freddy Krueger work better.

26. George Washington vs William Wallace

Winner: William Wallace

Best line: "Don't tee off with me, laddy. If you held my balls, you couldn't be my caddy."

I feel like this is a very overlooked battle. I've never really seen anyone talking about it, but it's actually really good. It was an interesting choice to make George Washington a more antagonistic and sadistic character, I honestly didn't think that's where they would go with him simply because as an American, I don't think I'd ever seen Washington depicted in such a bad light. But I'm honestly down for it; it makes sense when comparing the stories of both men - Wallace died a hero's death for freedom, while Washington survived long enough to show hypocrisy in his cause for preaching freedom but still owning slaves.

I love how Wallace's depiction in this is purely based on Braveheart, despite historians agreeing that it's one of the most historically inaccurate movies ever. Really sells Washington's "A Mel Gibson movie is your legacy" line, because yeah, that's basically the only reason most people have ever heard of William Wallace. It's funny, ERB obviously puts in a ton of work to research the real stories of their historical figures, but if the most prominent depiction of said figure is in a work of fiction, they will just go with that version of the person because that's what the audience is expecting to see - historical accuracy be damned. They did it with Wallace and that's also what they did with Leonidas and Ragnar Lodbrok. Not saying that's good or bad, that's just what I've noticed when viewing all the battles so close together.

25. Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child

Winner: Julia Child

Best line: "Here's a nice amuse-bouche: take a poor abused youth, set a 30 year timer, voila! Huge douche!"

This was a video I had actually completely skipped out on until needing to watch it for this list. I dunno, I just don't really personally like Gordon Ramsay and I wasn't familiar with Julia Child, so I was just never motivated to watch this one. But I really missed out on a gem, this one's great. Julia definitely steals the show here. It's kinda like Mr. T vs Mr. Rogers come to think of it, with one character angrily screaming at the other while the other just smiles and delivers cutting passive-aggressive lines. The part where Ramsay gets a whole kitchen crew running around behind him and they deliver backing vocals of "Yes, chef!" and "No, chef" to the beat is also a great moment.

24. Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood

Winner: Clint Eastwood 

Best line: "Here's my two finger push-up: Kung F-U!"

Hoo boy, this has some of the edgiest jokes in series history - "I even squint better than you", "You don't belong in a fight, you belong in a sweatshop. So go ahead, make my iPod". Modern ERB would not go there if this battle was made today. That being said, it does fit who Clint Eastwood is as a person, so, y'know. This battle's great though - the person they got to play Bruce Lee has a lot of fun energy to him; his constant quick movements contrast nicely against the stone cold, slow and deliberate Eastwood. I also love the small detail of the background characters that both rappers are fighting switching between cowboys and ninjas as they cross from one side of the screen to the other.

23. Michael Jordan vs Muhammad Ali

Winner: Muhammad Ali 

Best line: "McDonald's and underpants as corporate backers - You stay at the Ritz cause you sold out to crackers!"

And here we have one of the two appearances of special guest stars Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele. Considering this is the first time they're coming up on this list and we're this high up, it's pretty clear that I think they nailed both of the battles they had together. It's a shame they're not really working together anymore, so it's a lot less likely we'll ever get them again. Plus Jordan Peele's a lot busier these days I'd imagine.

But yeah, Key and Peele both obviously really know how to act in front of a camera and it makes for some great rap battles - Peele as Ali in particular is extremely expressive throughout his lines and it makes for a treat to watch. And I love the part where Jordan crosses over to Ali's side and directly gets in his face - both of Key and Peele's battles have a moment where the two rappers physically interact, and I'm glad they did this. A lot of ERBs have the two rappers film separately, but Key and Peele have such natural on-screen chemistry that it would have been a waste to not show bits of that. I was gonna say that moment does kinda break the illusion of Michael Jordan being tall in this battle since Key and Peele aren't too far apart in height, but uh, fun fact I just learned - the height difference between Key and Peele is actually greater than it would be between Jordan and Ali?? Muhammad Ali was actually pretty dang tall at 6'3", and Michael Jordan is relatively short for an NBA player at only 6'6". Meanwhile Jordan Peele is 5'7" and Keegan-Michael Key is 6'0". Truth truly is stranger than fiction.

22. Michael Jackson vs Elvis Presley

Winner: Michael Jackson

Best line: "Here's a tip: Don't swallow a bucket of drugs, so you won't die on the toilet dropping hunks of burning love."

This is the battle that Banner vs Jenner tried to imitate and failed miserably at - two characters with two distinct versions of themselves that they switch between halfway through the battle. This was such a great idea - they could have gotten away with simply doing the more modern versions of both characters, but showcasing how much the two changed their looks between the starts and ends of their careers was a genius move. My big worry with that would have been how difficult it would be to find a suitable child to play Jackson 5 Michael, but the kid that they did find was phenomenal. He looks the part, sounds the part, and has good dance moves to boot. I don't know how the hell they found this kid but his performance is easily the highlight of this battle.

21. Guy Fawkes vs Che Guevara 

Winner: Guy Fawkes

Best line: "You're an ump-Che. That's Bay of Pigs Latin!"

Che definitely has some clunkers in his lines - "More like V for Very bad hat" would be a bad line even by season 1 standards, and the What Does The Fox Say reference was dated even when the battle first came out. That said, Che's actor does a great job, he's really charismatic. The face he makes and the voice he does  during "Treat this battle like the gallows: Take another dive" is without a doubt the best line delivery in this battle. Also damn, Guy's takedown of Che by pointing out how his image nowadays is just a commercial product for capitalism, turning his legacy into the very thing he fought against, that was brutal. There was simply no coming back from that.

20. Gandhi vs Martin Luther King Jr.

Winner: Martin Luther King Jr.

Best line: "Flatten your style like bread: naan violence."

And here we have Key and Peele's other guest appearance. Just like I said before, these two have great chemistry and great screen presence. The ending of this one is what elevates it above Jordan vs Ali for me though - the two leading their armies of protesters together, all to finally meet face-to-face, and proceed to engage in the most passive-aggressive hug ever. Probably the most iconic ending in ERB history. Also can I just say that Peele's MLK impression is spot-on? 

19. Terminator vs RoboCop

Winner: RoboCop

Best line: "They sent you back to kill a child, but he's defeating you still. They should have made a time-traveling morning-after pill."

I like that this video was sponsored by the actual Terminator franchise and they were still able to call Terminator 3 bad. This video has also invaded my psyche - whenever I see a farmer's market I can't help but think of "I take over these streets like I'm a farmer's market". Idk, this one is just good fun. Lloyd doesn't exactly look much like Arnold, but he sells the impression as well as he can. And hey, the actual Arnold makes a cameo appearance thanks to the sponsorship! Cool shit.

18. Jim Henson vs Stan Lee

Winner: Stan Lee

Best line: "M-I-C! I rock the mic properly! K-E-Y! Turning profits, I've got the key!"

This is an ERB with a message, probably the deepest one in the series - the legacy that an artist leaves behind after their death, and the tragedy of the magic of their original vision being squeezed dry by huge conglomerates in order to print more money. Hits even harder now that Stan Lee is also no longer with us. I gotta say, it was a fucking ballsy move for the ERB team to take such a direct shot at Disney while they were working at a Disney-owned studio. But man, did it make a memorable battle. I think Walt Disney may just be my favorite of the surprise third-party rappers across the entire series.

I also like how throughout the entire battle, Jim Henson basically only ever takes one real shot at Stan Lee, and it's just "you took credit for work Jack Kirby did". He's too nice of a guy to cut deep on his opponent. And I appreciate the small detail that you can still see Peter moving his lips when Kermit is speaking - I feel like just making Kermit lip-sync would have been an easy trap to fall into. I also love that they went through the trouble of making a custom Stan Lee puppet all for just one line. They totally didn't need to do that, but it goes to show the effort that went into making this one special.

17. Ronald McDonald vs The Burger King

Winner: Burger King

Best line: "Ask Rick and Morty who's the lyrical boss. I've got lines for days, call me szechuan sauce!"

I'll just put it out there: when it comes to food: Wendy's > Burger King > McDonald's. This battle had the advantage of getting a soft launch first on the secondary ERB channel (through the spinoff series Flash in the Pan Hip-Hop Conflicts of Nowadays) and getting a chance to incorporate fan feedback before releasing as a proper ERB. The lines about McDonald's broken ice cream machines and Burger King foot lettuce, as well as Wendy coming in as a third-party rapper were all fan suggestions. As such, I think this is one of the most tightly-packed ERBs in terms of great lines.

16. Napoleon vs Napoleon

Winner: Napoleon Bonaparte

Best line: "I'll whip you so bad, they'll make a virgin meringue. You're the only type of dynamite that's never going to bang!"

I don't remember where exactly he said this, but I recall Lloyd at some point saying that this battle was the first one made after he and Peter both quit their jobs so that they could focus on ERB full time, and that it was kind of a scary and uncertain time for them because of it. Well, clearly that gamble paid off, because they managed to create one of their best right after finally being able to put their all into the series. Okay, look, on a purely objective level, this probably isn't actually better than a lot of the battles I put below it. It's short, as season 1 battles tended to be, and it really doesn't go too deep into either character's history. But this is just ERB in its purest form - a historical figure and a fictional character tangentially related to them duking it out through rhyme. This battle is pretty basic, but that's okay. It does exactly what it needs to - gives you some laughs and gets out of your face. No flashy effects, no complex lines that you have to look up the meaning of in order to get the joke. Call it nostalgia, but there's just a certain charm to the simplicity on display here.

15. Einstein vs Stephen Hawking

Winner: Stephen Hawking

Best line: "I'm as dope as two rappers, you'd better be scared, cause that means Albert E equals MC squared!"

And here we go, the cream of the crop for season 1. Back when we only had the first season, this one was THE shit. If you were around during the early days, then "There are ten million million million million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can observe, your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd" is probably burned into your brain. 

You know this battle is good when it's freaking certified Gold by the RIAA, being the only battle besides Obama vs Romney to do so. And hey, it's also the very first appearance of our boy Zach Sherwin! The first of many great guest appearances he would grace us with.

14. Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar

Winner: Shaka Zulu

Best line: "Ask my kidnappers if I'm just a shit-talker. Doc J dunk on ya like boom shakalaka!"

For being possibly the most obscure historical figure ever depicted in ERB, Shaka Zulu certainly leaves an impression through this battle. His costume design is great, and his actor brings so much life to the role with his smartass line deliveries and faces. And of course, the fucking army formations that form behind both rappers at the end - masterful work.

13. Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted

Winner: Lewis and Clark

Best line: "We discovered bears and beavers and prairie dogs and weasels, rattlesnakes and catfish, owls, larks, and eagles. And plus flora galore, and according to our observations: these two dickweeds right here are severely endangered!"

And here we have the final appearance so far of Rhett and Link, and I think this is their best battle yet. I've always loved the little dance they do when they're listing off all the things they discovered, and of course, Sacagawea in the background constantly saving their asses is a hilarious touch. And on Bill and Ted's side, we get a bunch of cameos of previous rappers since most of their companions had already appeared in ERB (still waiting on that Billy the Kid battle though), so that's a nice treat for fans.

12. Zeus vs Thor

Winner: Thor

Best line: "Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades. Now make like your daddy, and swallow my babies!"

This was the first ever battle to be animated with Lego and I'm SO glad that it was, because this is just a treat for the eyes. Live action would not have done a battle between two gods like this justice. Of course, it being beautifully animated wouldn't save this if the battle itself wasn't great, but it absolutely is. I think "Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is? You're ruthless to humans, your crew is like the Clash of the Douches" is possibly the best flow in the entire series, it constantly gets stuck in my head.

11. Mother Teresa vs Sigmund Freud

Winner: Mother Teresa

Best line: "I can see right through you and you've got no flavor. I'm battling a communion wafer."

This is an absolutely slept-on battle. It's damn near perfect - almost every single line hits it out of the park. I never would have thought of these two figures as perfect foils for one another, but it works so much better than I ever could have imagined. A staunch religious figure versus a staunch atheist, with themes of physical therapy versus mental therapy and chastity versus sex. It's a brilliant matchup that they really get the most out of. 

Mother Teresa's actress is amazing as well - I thought they somehow found an actual old lady dancer, but no, it's actually a younger woman whose entire specialty is doing super convincing cosplays of elderly women. She's great, the attitude she gives to Teresa elevates the entire battle. 

S TIER

10. Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates

Winner: HAL 9000

Best line: "I'm coming out the socket, nothing you can do can stop it. I'm on your lap and in your pocket. How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?"

While Jobs dying mid-battle can be seen as a repeat of Billy Mays, there's a distinct difference in how the two battles handle the death of one of the rappers. Ben Franklin never even gets a reaction to Billy Mays's death, but in this one, Bill Gates actually gets to admit how he liked the rivalry, and that now he's lonely without Jobs. And that's true to life of the two actual men too - despite how competitive their companies were with each other, Jobs and Gates had deep respect for one another. 

This was by far the most ambitious ERB of its time. I would say that it was the very first one to truly feel epic, and even more than a decade later, it still holds its own against even the newest episodes. Hell, I'd say it's actually just gotten better with time - that iconic ending with HAL 9000 to represent AI taking over just rings more and more true every year.

9. Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock

Winner: Alfred Hitchcock

Best line: "Ask anybody, 'What's your favorite Sam Jackson part?', no one's gonna say 'What's-his-name from Jurassic Park'."

This one is a total treat. You have 4 of the most iconic movie directors in history battling it out… along with Michael Bay. Honestly I'm not a super big movie buff, but I can still appreciate how brilliant this battle is. I love the shifts in the music tones for each director - the grandiose Jurassic Park-like theme for Spielberg, the heart-pounding suspense for Hitchcock, the more funky beat for Tarantino, the dreamy space-like melody for Kubrick, and finally, the flashy, bombastic theme for Bay. And of course, each director having their own dig towards Michael Bay is great foreshadowing for when he finally comes in and proceeds to rap about how great he is. He doesn't even say anything about any of the other directors, but that feels like an intentional choice for his "I don't give a fuck" attitude.

8. Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde

Winner: Bonnie and Clyde

Best line: "O Romeo, O Romeo, wherefore you trying to flow, yo? Mofo, you soft as a froyo. Are those the drapes or your clothes, bro?"

The contrast between the two sides here is really fun - how ridiculous and over-the-top Romeo and Juliet act compared to the down-to-earth, no-nonsense Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie pulling out a gun, shooting Juliet, and Juliet simply exclaiming, "Oh! I am killed!" really sums up everything that makes this pairing great. Of course, it's impossible to talk about this battle and not talk about how every character dies in the same way that their real/fictional counterpart does. I particularly love how Romeo and Juliet integrate their actual final words from the play into their final verses - "Thus with a diss I die" is such an obvious pun to make but it always makes me chuckle. And once Bonnie and Clyde get shot to death as well, leaving the normally loud announcer quiet and confused, that's just the cherry on top.

7. Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker 

Winner: Luke Skywalker 

Best line: "Your origin story is mostly stolen from me. You might be Potter, but Harry, I planted your seed!"

Our second animated battle, and this was one that absolutely needed to be animated to do it justice. Both of these series have so many iconic scenes and locations, and they also both have so many Lego sets that it made perfect sense to do it with Lego. And the animators got every bit of mileage they could out of this opportunity - both characters get to go through so many setpieces from each of their franchises. And of course, the lyrics get to pull in just as many references for fans to catch. This is one of the longer battles, with each rapper getting three full verses, and I'm glad that two series with so much lore got plenty of time to integrate it all. 

6. Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters

Winner: Mythbusters

Best line: "Good thing you work in a firehouse, cause you just got burned. You are poor scientists, and that's confirmed."

When I heard that Peter and Lloyd would be playing Adam and Jamie, I fully expected the opposite casting. Lloyd usually plays the shorter, stockier, more bald characters, so it was kinda surprising to me that he was chosen to play Adam and Peter was Jamie. But hey, they make it work. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the little synchronized dance the two do during their first verse as well. I have no idea why they decided to do that for the Mythbusters of all things, but hey, it's a lot of fun.

This battle has the largest number of rappers of any battle to date with 10, but that's kind of with an asterisk because Kari, Grant, and Tory barely get any time at all before Stay Puft comes in to finish the battle. I really wish the three of them had gotten a little more, it seems like kind of a waste to bring in three additional actors to only give them one line each. But that's really the only criticism I can come up with here; it's a great battle otherwise.

I know I didn't really even say anything about the Ghostbusters, but there's really not anything to say. They're all good! Zach Sherwin's Egon is definitely the highlight of the group.

5. Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones

Winner: Lara Croft

Best line: "Marion was 15 when you raided her bones. That's no time for love, Dr. Jones!"

This is the newest battle at the time I'm writing this, and needless to say with it being this high up, it's already one of my favorites. Every single line packs a serious punch, there is no wasted time here at all. My first time watching, I thought they maybe made a little too many jokes where the punchline is "Lara is sexy" or "gamers masturbate to her". But upon rewatch, each one is at least clever and does something different with wordplay, so I've lightened up on it.

Of course, I have to give a major shoutout to Croix Provence, who portrays Lara here. This was the first time a guest star on ERB was not either a friend of the crew or a major YouTube personality/celebrity - the casting of Lara was instead done with an open casting call, and I think that was the absolutely correct move. Croix was the perfect choice here - her faces and mannerisms inject so much lovable energy into the character, and the fact that she's not even British but can maintain a British accent while quickly rapping is incredible. She's a complete delight and I hope that she becomes a recurring guest.

This battle was apparently supposed to have a short verse from Nathan Drake as well, but I'm honestly glad they cut it. It really didn't need it.

4. Deadpool vs Boba Fett

Winner: Deadpool

Best line: "That Dr. Killbrew dude needs to go back to med school. Cause right now, you're no good to me, Deadpool."

This one's kinda funny in hindsight with how Deadpool rags on how Boba Fett barely even has any lines or screentime so there's not even much to say about him… right before he ended up getting his own show. Honestly it's kind of even in a weird spot with regards to Deadpool's characterization too - this came out before the movie, so nothing regarding that could be referenced either. Really, of any battle, this is probably the one that's in need of a rematch the most given how much has happened between these two characters in the years since.

What's really cool about this battle is that since both characters are covered from head to toe, while Peter and Lloyd did the voices, they didn't need to portray them physically. And they took advantage of this by hiring professional dancers to be the body actors for both characters, which really elevates the video visually. Deadpool's suit actor nails the mannerisms, and I love how Boba Fett goes into full-on breakdancing at the end. Stellar stuff from both performers.

3. The Joker vs Pennywise

Winner: Pennywise

Best line: "I haunt nightmares and I'm ruthless. This battle's like poker: the Joker is useless. Winning's not in your cards. Call me Arkham Asylum, I'm crazy with bars!"

Here we are, the absolute best battle that stays as a pure 1-on-1. Lloyd has said recently that this is his personal favorite battle, and it's easy to see why. Pennywise is easily my favorite performance Lloyd has ever done - he absolutely nails the voice, the line delivery, and the look. And Peter's Joker is awesome too - he also does a great job with the voice and delivery, and his costume is great too. Not as spot-on as Lloyd's Pennywise, but it's still more than serviceable. Really, this battle is Peter and Lloyd at their absolute best - you can tell they are both having the time of their lives here.

The lines here are top-notch too. So many bangers - Pennywise describing himself as "the John Wayne of John Wayne Gacys" and "the poster boy for missing person posters", and the absolutely killer lines "Ask Robin if I drop bars" and "No one's dying to play with Joker, except for maybe Heath Ledger". There's a super clever rhyme with "Beat Harley Quinn" and "see Steve Harvey in". And the flow of "You're a John Doe in my deadlights, and you're about to fall from a new height, cause you're weak and you've lost every fight to a knight who wears underwear over his tights" is amazing. And I love that so many actors that have portrayed the characters get shout-outs - obviously Pennywise only has the two with Tim Curry and Bill Skarsgard (though the Skarsgard reference is so subtly woven in that you probably won't even catch it on the first watch). But the Joker gets to pull in references to Cesar Romero, Jack Nicholson, Heath Ledger, Jared Leto, Joaquin Phoenix, and Mark Hamill, and it's a lot of fun.

Overall, this battle is amazing. Amazingly written with two amazing performances. Truly peak ERB.

2. Rasputin vs Stalin

Winner: Stalin

Best line: "You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock! I'd leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot! Your whole family, shot! All your wizard friends, shot! Anyone who sold you pierogi, shot!"

Huh, I'm realizing just how few of these top spots have actual historical figures - four of the battles in this top ten have just been fictional character vs fictional character, and the only real people depicted that I'd say are old enough to be considered "historical figures" are Bonnie and Clyde, and maybe Alfred Hitchcock. Well, that's about to change - these top two spots are putting the history back in Epic Rap Battles of History, and to me, that's why they beat out the rest.

I've said before that I love when ERB can make me curious and actively want to seek out more information about history. And that's why this battle and the next one are so great - because it's not just about the battle itself being good. The best ERBs create an experience outside of the battle itself. You put on an episode like Luke Skywalker vs Harry Potter and you're like "Oh, that was awesome! All the references to both of the series were great!" and then you move on with your life. But a battle like Rasputin vs Stalin, you think "Wow, that was great!", and then you find yourself reading more about Russian history. ERB didn't tell you to do that; they're not your teacher. You sought out that information because they gave you the nugget of trivia that made you crave more. 

But enough about that, how is the battle itself? Well, it's a certified banger. What you think is going to just be a simple battle between two long-dead high-ranking Russians quickly escalates as it takes you through the rise and fall of the Soviet Union via several more notable Russian leaders jumping into the fray. The battle royale format really does a great job portraying the fraught history that Russia has had over the past century - these guys all had so many different ideas for the country that they probably would all hate each other.

Lloyd steals the show here too - both Stalin and Gorbachev are easily the most memorable parts of this battle. One realization I've come to while doing this list and viewing all the battles so close together is that I think Lloyd is overall my favorite performer. That's not to say that Peter is a bad actor - far from it, he's also amazing. I just think there are overall more battles where Lloyd's performance outshines Peter's than there are the other way around.

1. Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible

Winner: Ivan the Terrible

Best line: "Look alive, creme de la Kremlin's arrivin'! Try to serve Ivan, no survivin'."

…With that being said, this is one of those battles where Peter absolutely comes out on top. One strength of portraying historical figures from hundreds of years ago as opposed to fictional characters or people who are currently alive/recently died is that we don't really have as much information about their personalities, leaving how they act much more open to interpretation. And this battle takes full advantage of that. Would the actual Ivan the Terrible have acted this deliciously eeeevil? Probably not, but that's what makes it fun. Him murdering his opponents one by one and delighting in it makes him such a lovable villain. And of course, he's given a great (haha) lineup of characters with big personalities to burn through as well - the performances for Alexander, Frederick, and Catherine are all both memorable and stand out from each other - with Alexander adopting the most traditional rap style, Frederick getting a faster verse, and Catherine getting a slower, more sensual verse.

This battle also has the same deal as what I said about Rasputin vs Stalin, where it made me more curious about history, except this one gets more points for covering not only a larger span of time, but also multiple countries. The only figure in this battle royale that I was sorta familiar with was Alexander, so this definitely motivated me to look more into Ivan, Frederick, and Catherine (though it didn't really make me curious enough to want to know more about Pompey the Great, sorry Pompey :( ).

Overall, this battle just has all the best qualities of ERB rolled up into one tight package - it's funny, it's got great performances, and it teaches you a little something about history while also encouraging you to do your own research. On all fronts, it knocks it out of the park, and that is why it is my #1 favorite Epic Rap Battle of History.

And there you have it! Every single ERB ranked! Whew, this was a lot of work, but I think it goes to show that at the end of the day, I truly love this series if I can blather on this long about it. If you’ve made it this far, then thanks for reading my pointless ramblings, and look forward to more pointless ramblings in the future.

[havendance]

I'm enjoying reading everyone's thoughts for the Helena poll, and since now I'm thinking about it, my thoughts for the record:

I do really love the 1989 Huntress run. I voted for Rucka, but Cavalieri was a close second.

It's just well written. I like her character in it. I like the introspection and seeing her at the cusp of her origin and all the complicated feelings she has towards what she's doing and the way that she tries to walk away at the end.

But also, I like seeing Helena as part of the greater DC universe and I like seeing her interact with everyone else, and her '89 solo is very isolated, which allows it to breath in it's own way, but I do think that's the reason why Rucka inches out for me.

Because also, her No Man's Land arc is also so important to me and a lot of my favorite beats from there are written by Rucka. No Man's Land #0 where we see her putting on the bat! The sequence in assembly where's she's getting fired, but, dang that's her and all of her emotions. Cry for Blood which, while there are portions of her '89 origin that I prefer, tells a damn good story and I love the way it ties her into Gotham

Chuck Dixon is a mixed bag. He wrote Helena comics I really like and he wrote ones that I really don't. Any time he wrote her showing up in the Robin comics: fun! I love their dynamic. Any time she shows up in the Nightwing comics: I feel like he doesn't quite get her character. Her original reintroduction in Detective Comics: my formative impression of her and still one that I feel holds up. Birds of Prey: Manhunt was fun. I can't ignore him, but also wouldn't call him my favorite for her by a long shot.

I found most of Grant Morrison's JLA run to just be uninteresting. I don't have much to say on him. I'm poking my head into events but not much to say there overall.

Devin Grayson: another mixed bag. I think there were fun parts of Nightwing/Huntress. At the same time, I wish that whatever relationship Dick and Helena could've had wasn't completely overwritten by it. I liked the parts with Helena in Spiritual currency, but Fear of Faith has the dubious honor of being the No Man's Land story that I found to be the most of a chore to read so whatever Helena's characterization was there, it's dragged down by that.

Simone's Helena… Hmmm… I think Helena's certianly there in the Birds of Prey comics I've read so far. I like some of what she's doing with her. I dislike some of it. I think what it boils down to is that it doesn't quite feel like Helena to me, somehow. She just feels off to me.

I haven't read Huntress: Year One or Bedard's BOP run yet, so nothing to say there.

[semper-legens]

124. Of the Flesh

Owned: No, library Page count: 276 My summary: A woman scorns another on a flight and finds herself gaining weight no matter how little she eats. A child labourer in a mine prays to an ancient deity. A woman flees the ghost of her lover's wife. An immigrant attempts to escape his tormentor. Horror and reality mesh together in this collection of creepy short stories. My rating: 3/5

I'm a sucker for a horror short story collection. I love horror stories, and the short story format is one that perfectly lends itself to horror - a creepy concept, a quick twist in the tale, in and out quickly but in a way that leaves a lasting impression, particularly if it is a tale well-told. So this one, with a creepy flower eyeball on the front, looked very much like the kind of thing I could find myself liking. In practice, it was a bit more of a mixed bag. I haven't exactly been subtle in the past about my feelings on litfic, that particularly pretentious genre of literary fiction where we don't use speech marks for some fucking stupid reason and everything's just kind of wanky and nonsense. Well, this fell into that more often than I would have liked, and I have to mark it down for that. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot to like here, but…it was just sort of less than I would have liked. Worth a read, but I'm not really gonna be looking to track it down again, you know?

Overall, this collection was very much a mixed bag. We had some stories that were just kind of there to be stories, just there to be creepy, and there's nothing wrong with that! There were also the stories that were there to deliver a moral or that had a message, and that was interesting…in some cases. The beauty and the peril of the short story is that you don't have a lot of time to get your ideas across, and some of these stories fell prey to that pitfall. Some of the stories in this collection don't really seem to have much of a point, or are trying to create an ambiguous atmosphere but just end up being too vague, or something like that. There's a lot of misses here, though some of the hits really hit! The tone of them was creepy over outright horror, which sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. A real variety here, but unfortunately the variety was between things that worked and things that didn't.

I'll talk about two of the stories that I had a particularly strong reaction to here, as an example of what I mean. The first is Going Large, a story I very much didn't like. The premise of it is that this woman, who is obsessed with being skinny, sees a larger woman on a plane and treats her very unkindly. She then finds herself gaining weight, no matter how little she eats, and sees the world treat her far worse because of it. She works out that if she eats a lot, she actually loses weight, so ends up eating lots and returning to her previous appearance, but with a bit more of understanding and solidarity with larger women. The moral thrust of this story was flawed. As someone who is overweight myself, I really didn't like that the protagonist is 'punished' for being an asshole by being fat. The way she's described at the larger weight frames it as disgusting - she's huge, she's fat, she's greasy, she's wearing unflattering clothes, all of this - which I don't think promotes the anti-discrimination message that I think the author was going for. Yes, society treats fat people abysmally, in particular fat women, but if the narrative frames being fat as a disgusting punishment (even from the clearly-not-nice protagonist's point of view) it isn't going to make fat women feel any better about being fat. The fact that she's skinny in the end doesn't mitigate it any. Oh, she's a skinny woman who has to eat hamburgers. Skinny women who eat a lot in the real world are treated as quirky - fat women are demonised for eating anything. The story also makes weight discrimination seem like more of a personal thing, when really it's a societal issue. If every individual became nicer, that wouldn't stop systemic discrimination against fat people. The story just doesn't tackle its themes well, and that's really disappointing in this kind of morality horror.

The second, which I considered to be the best of the collection, was Shade. In this story, a Bolivian child works in a silver mine, and becomes close to the local folk deity of the mine, El Tío. The supernatural horror angle is in El Tío's adoption of the boy, and how El Tío protects him from kidnappers when they come for him later, but the more interesting angle is that of colonial violence and how the protagonist and his community have been affected by the ongoing mark of colonialism. The story isn't exactly subtle about it - the protagonist talks about how his people have had Pachamama forcibly replaced with El Tío, for example - but the brutality of life under colonialism is in everything. The fact that this child is mining and can't go to school. The fact that this is the best he can get, that this industry will kill him one way or another, the way that the mountain eats men in a metaphorical and all too literal way. The fact that they are mining for the benefit of other people, that they will never see the bounty of their efforts and that the silver they mine is worth more than they will see in a lifetime. It's a very real problem affecting many places in the real world, and its portrayal here is both brutal and necessary. This is an issue that more people should be aware of, should be angry about, and the story is very clear where it stands. And it's also a creepy horror story!

Next up, ancient Rome, and this time we're checking out what women are up to!

[kaibutsushidousha]

Opinion on each Jojo part ?

Phantom Blood can definitely feel underwhelming compared to other parts but being the first makes it highly elevated by the novelty of Jojo's aesthetics, and most importantly, Jonathan's and Dio's relationship is a dramatic peak Araki rarely ever reached again.

Battle Tendency has Joseph Joestar as the protagonist, which automatically makes it a blast to read through. I also like the way its line-up of enemies is presented and built up in advance. I understand it's not Araki's style but I prefer that a lot compared to Jojo's usual monster of the week deal.

Stardust Crusader is the big adventure of a crew of boring characters commanding boring Stands, so its quality needs to be hard carried by the quality of each fight's villain, which fluctuates very wildly.

Diamond is one of those urban fantasy settings that manages to make you fall in love with the city. Morioh feels really alive and I wouldn't mind its SoL antics going on for a lot longer. Especially since here is where Stands really start to get consistently good. That said, the final plot is also excellent, with the PoV rotating between Josuke, Rohan, Hayato, and Kira, which are all excellent characters.

Vento Aureo has the best overall cast and it's where the Stands reach the sweetest of being very creative without feeling bloated like the future part stands. But what defines a plot the most is the quality of its conclusion and Vento Aureo's conclusion is about as lame as it can get.

Stone Ocean is entirely shaped by the Pucci brothers, with Enrico being Araki's best-written character by a very wide margin and Weather not falling too far below him on the rankings.

Steel Ball Run clashes the most compelling Jojo against the least compelling villain for a very mixed-bag experience, but overall more on the positive side. Stands are thankfully downscaled after the part 6 bloat but still fail to return to the consistency peak of parts 4 and 5.

Jojolion is a mystery, which is a genre that very much plays into Araki's writing weaknesses, mainly his inability to give a fuck once he changes his mind. It also wastes its good villains in the first half, so the second half leaves us stuck with lame-ass Tooru and his way too many friends with Stands that spread powders in the air. The only thing holding that half together is how great Wonder of U is.

The Jojolands makes a great first impression that drives it perfectly clear what the part is about. Now we only need to hope it sticks the landing, but Tayutan from Cipher Academy says it's the best part and I trust her judgment.

(Ranked: 6>4>7>2>1>5>3>8)

[madamemimic]

Fully completed the definitive edition of LISA the Painful this afternoon. Here are my thoughts. Spoilers under the cut.

Overall I was super impressed with the changes made to Painful.

First, the sprite change for Junior and the edit to Salvation Black’s intro were nice. Lisa’s got it’s fair share of edgy humor, sure, but those felt a little overboard and mean-spirited. Bloodiest Wolf is still… not great, though. I get that he’s supposed to be covered in blood and his skin isn’t ACTUALLY supposed to be that red, but it looks really bad.

The improved graphics and border art make the game way, way nicer to look at. Glad I don’t have to deal with differently-sized pixels fucking up the visuals.

Changes to the battle system are a little mixed, but overall good (and the issues are currently getting fixed thanks to SF’s frankly absurd community feedback response). TP not refilling when taking damage sucks, the alcohol boost is neat, battles are a lot snappier, seeing what status effects actually do is nice, and the flavor text at the top of the screen is super buggy. Again, a mixed bag, but overall an improvement in my opinion. Animated battle backgrounds are also fantastic.

Missing joy addictions getting patched in is nice. Annoying, but it’s what was intended.

I wish there was more new content throughout the game. I was expecting some new enemies and NPCs, but in my experience there really weren’t any up until the superboss. Then again, I might just be misremembering what was actually in the game. It’s been years since I played the original.

Campfire scenes fucking rule. They make your party members feel like actual people. Some of Brad’s dialogue in certain scenes feels a tad stilted, but I don’t care much. Queen Roger, Geese, and Ollie - party members that I never cared about in the original - became some of my favorites thanks to these scenes. Also, fuck Garth to Hell.

The superboss was incredible. The leadup to it was nauseating, the atmosphere was thick with dread, the conversation with Joy Marty was incredibly upsetting… and GOD, that fight. Took me an hour and a half, and I was having a blast the whole way through. So many new mechanics and twists and turns (Marty permanently reducing your party’s stats was a nice surprise) that all add to the helplessness of the encounter.

And the dialogue afterwards, my God. It adds so much content to Brad and Lisa’s relationship, their home life, and the guilt that Brad feels over her death. Fucking fantastic. The music is great, too.

Haven’t done Joyful’s secret stuff yet, but I like the warlord abilities. It doesn’t fix the gameplay issues of only having one party member, but no RPG really can. At the very least, it adds options.

Rest in peace Work Harder. You will be missed.

[crystalelemental]

I keep trying to post something interesting about this and failing, so forgot it: general thoughts now that I've finished all the I'm in Love With the Villainess light novels.

Overall, pretty fun! I enjoyed it quite a lot. Rae and Claire are very cute, and I love them. To the surprise of no one, I really like Claire, very much my character type. I was surprised how much I wound up liking Rae, though. I find her very...relatable. Like, the tendency to respond to anything serious and therefore uncomfortable with goofs, the desire to just be apolitical at all times, hiding insecurities by over-exaggerating things and avoiding disappointment by self-sabotaging. There's something about how she is that just connects.

The rest of the cast is generally good, but far less significant. Which is a weak point overall, I think. I found myself wanting a lot more of some of the side characters that don't do as much directly. For as right there as Misha always is, she doesn't contribute much, which is hindered all the more with her relationship with Yu, which doesn't get a whole lot of development. They get like two scenes. It's a bit disappointing, because I would've liked more of their dynamic. Similar situation with Lilly, who is my girl, and who not only doesn't get many scenes, but also is Possessions Georg, being mind controlled or otherwise possessed by every entity capable of doing so. Poor girl.

I think Book 3 was when, character wise, I started to lose a bit of interest. Like, we already had multiple side characters I really liked who weren't getting substantial play at this point, and now we're going to introduce a whole new set that are...frankly not as interesting to me? May and Aleah are adorable, I love the kids, but the rest aren't quite as interesting despite how many there are. It's not even that they don't get a lot of time; Philine, Hilda, and Dorothea get as much time as any other side character, but I don't really connect with them as much. Couldn't entirely tell you why. ...well, I might be able to in part.

I think Book 3 is when it became a bit much that every character was interested in either Rae or Claire. Manaria was excusable as the one hidden route in the original game, so like sure, that checks out in the same way as the princes. Lilly, sure, I'm willing to accept that, since Manaria kinda backs off even if feelings are still there. But then Philine's interested in Claire, and Lana's interested in Rae, and at the point Rae and Claire are basically married it gets to be a bit much? I'm not saying I wanted nothing but cute domestic wives like the first chapter of Book 3, but also maybe that's what I wanted. Because I do legitimately love that dynamic through the rest of the series.

For what it does do, I think it does well. The story's fun and engaging and there were multiple points where I was squealing with excitement over the recent developments. I think if there's one thing they did well, it's building tension. Which is impressive for an isekai where the protagonist knows, more or less, what's going to happen in advance. And it's nice that every twist isn't another stomp against the protagonists. I think it's pretty common for the twists to build tension being things that work against the protagonists, but just as often the story sets up some hint at Rae being up to something that isn't revealed until later, and it's a fun little hook. The quickest example I can think of is when May and Aleah are kidnapped, and they reference May having a bag as their trump card, but not revealing what that was until near the end of that encounter. Related: Ralaire is hilarious. Like it always shows up to save the day, at like the perfect interval that I forgot it was there.

The Book 5 reveal is...a mixed bag for me. I generally don't love the kind of switch from hard magic (barring the isekai, which I think counts) into a more sci-fi "it's basically the real world adjacent" narrative. But I think it's relatively unobtrusive? Like, once it's out, they never stop talking from that angle. But I think the way things work out for characters is still interesting. I love that initial Rei's whole deal was that all these cycles wore down her affections until it didn't feel right anymore. I love that they have an AI that's focused on keeping humanity going at all costs, willing to fuck with everyone here to achieve that goal; very Etrian Odyssey 2 of you. I like that, in the re-written world, Lilly has no idea what's going on but still wants the best for Rae.

I think if there's one thing I expected to matter more, it's tandem casting. They made a huge deal of this, and about how it links to the secrets of the world, and it...doesn't really do much of anything. It's pretty unexplained how this was so linked to the hidden truth of reality, or why it works at all. Or how it's associated with the ring that Torrid made. There's a lot of gray area on that one. Which is a shame because I do love me some magic systems. Related note: I love how the initial explanation for wind is "yeah it's like support I guess, don't worry about it," and then it's easily the most overpowered element, being able to project or silence sound, power up physical attacks, be used offensively, create a shield, dispel certain kinds of magic, and goddamn manipulate time. Like oh okay, wind just does everything. Water and Earth have some stuff, while Fire is just...fire. You do damage. That's it. I do like that overall proficiency is secondary to skill, though. Like, Salas' hypnosis magic is super powerful and dangerous, and he's only like mid-proficiency as I recall. I think the applications of the system are more interesting than the system itself.

The only odd bits from magic that slightly bug me are Dark magic, and the void. Dark bugs me just because it's better than all of them by default, and also because they designated Earth as the color black, but Final Fantasy rules say that should be yellow and Wind should be green and yes this bothers me. The void is just...what Dorothea and Aleah have going on. Like oh, sure, they can completely negate all magic used against them, or absorb that magic to create their own attacks. Don't get me wrong, big fan of Spellblade Aleah, but it feels hysterically overpowered for little reason, and kinda undercuts the significance of their whole discussion with the kids about how not having magic won't make them any less important.

As a last note, I don't think I'm legally allowed to just...not mention that yes, as many others have pointed out since episode 3 of the anime, there are a lot of discussions around sexuality and gender identity. It's very direct in calling things what they are, and it is nice to see things discussed so openly. I do think it sometimes comes across a bit heavy-handed, but then you kinda need to for people who don't have a baseline understanding of these things.

I think I'm running out of things to talk about. The short is, I had a good time. They're fun books, would recommend.

[thunderjolt]

strider (2014)

immediately after playing the nes game, i thought to myself: "hey! there's another exploratory strider game and it's been burning a hole in my steam library for 10 years!" well, i finally got around to it. strider 2014 is an interesting beast. overall, i think it's decent.

metroidvanias are a genre i'm very particular about. i think there are a few main pillars: map design, exploration, backtracking, movement, and combat. why don't we run through each real quick, in order of how impressed i was by them.

movement: the movement in strider is excellent. there are many ways to optimize it and tons of little tricks to use. you don't start the game feeling slow or useless either: this game starts you off with essentially the full moveset from strider 2, making you feel fast and powerful from the jump and only increasing your potency from there. the seamless transitions between most screens also result in traversal feeling super smooth. it's not frictionless though, and the movement does require player skill and input to get the most out of. definitely a highlight.

combat: this is really intertwined with movement. as i said earlier, this game starts you off super strong, and you just get stronger. that feeling of mowing through armies of dudes with just one giant laser sword is palpable here. yet still, the game doesn't play itself; you'll need the requisite amount of finesse and quick thinking to get through quickly, but the game gives you the tools to do so, and as you develop that skill it just becomes more and more satisfying

backtracking: some metroidvanias don't have room design i find conducive to backtracking. many of the games on the "-vania" side have enemies that simply require too much time and attention to defeat. personally, i believe that after a certain point in a metroidvania, rooms of enemies earlier in the game should be dispatched without much thought. this is the case in strider, and the game is better for it. you will still struggle with enemies that match the part of the game you're in, but otherwise getting back through areas is smooth thanks to smart upgrade design.

exploration: this is where i think things get a little weaker. the rewards for exploration in this game are there, but they are relatively few in number and don't really inspire curiosity. a problem a lot of people seem to have with super metroid is that its secrets tend to only reward the player with say, a paltry missile tank for their efforts. i don't really have an issue with that, though. even if the reward doesn't stack up, a map littered with little puzzle boxes to pique the player's interest and test their mechanical skills or knowledge is far better than one without. sadly, this game is just lacking in things that make the player interested in the world, and it's a shame.

map design: it's boring. this is what really kills an otherwise strong game for me. both the map (as in the world the player traverses) and the map (as in the thing that guides the player) are poorly designed in my opinion. the game world is not interconnected in an organic or satisfying way, and largely feels like a disjointed assortment of linear challenge rooms. this problem is patched up by fast travel points across the map, to hide the fact that you're mostly good in straight lines, but it's far from a solution. the map itself gives you extremely precise information on the layout and terrain of the world, where you can go to get rewards with your new upgrades, and a huge arrow with a number telling you your exact distance from the next objective. the game never respects the player's intelligence long enough to let them explore the map themselves, possibly because the developers knew they didn't have anything interesting. it's a real shame.

so overall, a mixed bag. i think the game is pretty fun overall, and it goes pretty cheap, so if you're in the mood to slash some shit up as a ninja in a metroidvania package, you could do worse.

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

RWBY Volume 9 Episode 2 thoughts

So this is just truly a first impressions dump of thoughts on the episode but this episode was a roller coaster so I wanted to share.

First off I do want to say, this episode did actually give me a bit of an emotional gut punch when Ruby gave her speech about Penny in the end of the episode. You could feel the pain and sadness and love towards Penny in it and it made me hurt about Penny all over again. 

Unfortunately though....in some ways it is too little too late. We didn’t get this continuing reaction for her first death so having it feels like “finally!” but also “why did it take so long” I did truly like it but its certainly a mixed bag for me. What really fell flat for me is the moment afterwards with the comedic crying of the guards listening to Ruby talk about Penny. It’s supposed to be an emotional moment where Ruby’s words touch the hearts of the guards through her emotions and pain and we’re turning it comedic. 

Like the idea of even the horses crying shows how different this world is but it feels too comedic for what should have been an emotional scene. Overall this is kind of a common issue with the episode, comedy coming in with very poor timing and it hurts the flow of the episodes and the emotions we are supposed to be feeling. 

This happens an annoying number of times through the episode, comedy stripping away from what is genuinely an emotional moment. When Little grabs what we later learn is Penny’s sword and Ruby getting emotional seeing it but then having Yang play tug of war with her arm and so much attention being drawn to the comedy of it, Ruby crying over Penny’s sword and talking about how she felt drawn to it being overshadowed by the same bit from episode one with Ruby being trapped in the loop with the added, Weiss knocks herself out with the rock she threw that came back to hit her nonsense trying to bury what is happening on screen, Yang and Blake are flirting and Weiss is saying “Finally” and making a joke out of it with everyone ignoring how clearly upset and hurt Ruby is. It just keeps happening with comedy that really doesn’t work. 

As a side note....is CRWBY trying to confirm Bmblebe through Weiss? Is it confirmed or just like the Nora situation in volume 7? I am genuinely unsure here lolz. 

Also Little continues to just....sleep and it is becoming very frustrating. Having Ruby talk through things with Little could have been so interesting but instead they sleep through all of these emotional moments and offer none of their thoughts on these things. 

We also are finally seeing Ruby and Weiss at least question their decisions and starting to see they have no clue what they’re doing and really shouldn’t be making these massive and important decisions. This could be a really good arc to explore....too bad I have a feeling Yang and Blake or the narrative will make sure to assure them that they did absolutely nothing wrong and they are perfect and should keep doing what they’ve been doing. Maybe I’ll eat my words and maybe the volume will end with the girls accepting they fucked up big time and Altas falling is partially their fault but letting them learn and grow and keep fighting but I really don’t have much faith that will happen. 

[gentil-minou]

Hi Bushy! I'd like to ask how did you get into k-dramas/ c-dramas and what are your favorites? I'm currently watching Love between fairy and devil and I'm so into it!

oh man i've been into asian dramas since I was a little teen. like while all my peers were into anime i gravitated toward jdramas, before eventually getting into kdramas and more recently this past year cdramas. I think I love the stories and that they're shorter overall than western tv, so I don't have to keep being engaged over the years.

Narrowing down my faves is soooo hard but for folks who want to get into kdramas my recs would be (under a read more because I used a lot of gifs):

Coffee Prince - all time fave, just the best characters and sweetest story. The ending was meh but I adore them all so much, this will always have a special place in my heart. Also the OST still SLAPS. Also also I know I used the term my best girl a lot but Go Eun Chan IS ACTUALLY the best girl she is like my dearest friend

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon - MY BEST GIRL (yes i know what i just said) and my best pathetic man, adore them and this story. Kdramas have this fun genre thats basically romcom with a side of murder and I eat that up. Also two of my favorite actors ever

Twenty Five Twenty One - I have to rec it because those first 12-14 episodes were the best episodes of any drama I've ever seen. Just phenomenal. Might break your heart but worth it tbh

When the Camelia Blooms - see: romcom with a side of murder genre. also just adore everything gong hyo jin is in

Healer - it's got its problems but the identity shenanigans are top tier just YEAH

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - I know western fans might not be so impressed with the fact that the actress herself is not on the spectrum, but I thought the portrayal was very well done and considering how this is the first kdrama depicting ASD characters as the hero, it's an incredible first step. Also it's just so adorable and wonderful I even put up with my hatred of legal dramas for it. Also whales.

Her Private Life - prettiest main couple ever i could stare at them forever. i'm not a fan of the childhood connection plot but i accepted it for this, also Sian my baby boy

Goong - SO DATED NOW but it's my first kdrama so i gotta rec it omg. But arranged marriage enemies to lovers YESSS AND MODERN MONARCHY YEAHHHH

Moonlight Drawn by Clouds - the crossdressing trope is a big one in kdrama and i always enjoy it look im a simple gal okay. also i adore the female lead so much

A Business Proposal - kookie fun, just so much fun djkfhsd. Wonderful friendships and romance. Thank god this aired while 2521 was on air cause i don't know how i would have survived tbh

Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo - JUST THE CUTEST MAIN LEADS LIKE GOSH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Those are the ones off the top of my head I have to admit I am BEHIND and i don't always finish a drama, because tbh it's really a mixed bag and they can be good or absolute garbage but depends on your interests. I tend to gravitate towards romance genres but theres a lot of intrigue and mystery and action and melodrama there's really something for everyone. And not everyone will agree with each other on it but still

I'm new to cdramas but I really loved Love Between Fairy and Devil, stellar throughout. I gotta rec The Untamed because my best boys but it might not be for everyone. I'm still working on New Life Begins but it's very cute and feel good.

Give me more recs btw! I love them!

[yesterdanereviews]

Sharktopus (2023)

Film review #607

Directors: Hu Dong-Sheng, Shixing Xu

SYNOPSIS: When a huge octopus washes up dead on the shore, Scientist Dr. Jingya Fan, who was working on the project to create it, abandons the project. The financial backer, Mr. Chen, is not impressed with this, and kidnaps her son to force her to continue her research in secret aboard his ship. When the shark-octopus (sharktopus) hybrid research subject escapes from captivity, the lives of the crew and passengers are put in danger, and must stop the sharktopus before it's too late...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Sharktopus is a 2023 sci-fi film. technically a remake of the 2010 TV movie Sharktopus, it bears no resemblance to it other than the title, and a titular shark-octopus hybrid. At the start, a giant octopus washes up on shore (while crushing some passers by), which it turns out is a research project led by Dr. Jingya Fan and financed by the mysterious Mr. Chen. Fan leaves the project, but Mr. Chen blackmails her to return by kidnapping her son in order to get her to develop a cure for multiple sclerosis, which is what her son has as well as the new test subject: A shark-octopus hybrid, or "sharktopus" if you will. Dr. Fan is taken to a cruise ship that secretly houses a research laboratory where she can do her work, but Interpol raid the ship to arrest Mr. Chen at the same time as the Sharktopus escapes from confinement, and so everyone is searching for a way to survive and stop the monster. The film certainly has a lot more going on than the original Sharktopus film, but that's not hard, as it barely had a story at all; just scenes of women in bikinis at the beach stitched together. This remake is essentially just a typical horror movie though, with the cast trying to avoid getting hunted down by the monster. There's not really any gore or jump scares, so the film just focuses on the cast and their trying to survive.

The film does get quite complicated, and there's a lot going on with the characters: you have Dr. Fan trying to save her son, then you have a team of Interpol agents raiding the ship, and one of them just so happens to be Dr. Fan's ex-partner and the Father to her son. The whole story and all the different characters do make things quite convoluted towards the end, so we don't get much focus on the monster as we perhaps should. Also, none of the kills are really creative or exciting either: the action is very ill-paced, and we don't see enough of the Sharktopus to make it an interesting centrepiece for the film.

The effects in the film are a mixed bag. They are fairly detailed, including the Sharktopus itself, but the CG doesn't blend in too well, and it looks a bit odd in motion. It definitely could have been worse, but it's not great either. The film does offer a bit of a twist at the end, but again, since the film doesn't really create much tension, and is all over the place, it doesn't really feel like it has too much consequence. Overall, Sharktopus has the honour of being better than the film it is based on, but that's a very small accomplishment given the state of the 2010 film. While the film does try and build characters and give them motivation, it's very limited, and it doesn't offer anything exciting in terms of being a monster film, with lacklustre horror, action and/or gore. I suppose the 2010 film at least had a self-awareness that it was silly, but this 2023 version really takes itself seriously, without the stronger plot and production to back that up.