#over here writing ESSAYS defending my girl!!!!!

[idkwhatimdoingbutslay]

Nothing could make me hate you Vi!!!

As of recently, I’ve been thinking less of how I can rationalize Vi becoming an enforcer and thinking more about how its irrationality can be used effectively in the narrative.

I remember someone’s post (but I can’t remember who, sorry!!!! Might have been @visupremacy) who said that CaitVi being endgame is the unhappy ending and I can't stop thinking about how that can also apply to Vi as an enforcer.

Why are we pretending like Vi isn't known for being completely irrational and allowing for her emotions and dedication to others control her and blind her judgement? It's one of her MAIN downfalls as a character.

I kind of discuss it here, that post was super ramble-y lol, but it generally has the gist on what I'm saying here.

We're all so focused on how Vi is going to justify being an enforcer as if Vi has really justified being or doing anything else she's been or done. Vi makes decisions she thinks are best in the moment. She acts on her emotions, her anger and fear and resentment and regret. Maybe, just maybe, the show isn't suddenly "pro-enforcer". Maybe Vi's story is being used as a device.

Vi isn't just becoming an enforcer for Caitlyn or to find Jinx, her internal (and mostly unaddressed) turmoil controls her actions just as much as her love for others controls them. Vi is here become something is telling her that she needs to be.

Also, note that Vi has just got out of prison after spending ~7 years in there -- majority of her adolescence. Everything around her has changed and this woman who has just rescued her from those abusive circumstances needs Vi. Don't forgot Vi's immense guilt for everything pertaining to Jinx and the fact that the council building (the same one Caitlyn's mom was in) was shot by the end of season two.

Maybe Vi's story isn't about being perfect and linear growth from your trauma, maybe it's so much more than that. Maybe Vi becoming an enforcer will be one of the many wakeup calls she needs, forcing her to look in the mirror and see who she's becoming. Maybe Vi is desperate to not fail at something she feels she's meant to be. Maybe Vi will see who Caitlyn is becoming (because we KNOW Cait is turning at least a LITTLE evil in season 2) and realize that she can't let that happen to her, to them. Maybe, after this, Vi will finally find out and become the person she truly wants/ needs to be, both for herself and for others.

We saw so many people complain about aspects of Arcane S1 as if the show was over, done building upon its narrative. Let's not do that again.

I’m not mentally prepared for the amount of hate Vi is going to be getting now that we’ve seen her in her enforcer uniform

Like… can we at least wait to see just how she becomes a cop before jumping to conclusions about her? The writers have shown they are clearly smart enough to not do anything stupid with her character, and if you really think about it, season 1 ended with the beginning of a drastic shift in the way that Piltover will operate - meaning, there’s a good chance the law enforcement system will take a turn for the better, assuming that Caitlyn will become Sheriff (League lore). Cait’s entire character arc in s1 was her becoming more aware of how terrible Zaun’s situation was and wanting to do something to fix it, even when it nearly cost her her life on various occasions. If anyone’s going to make the position of Enforcer a more positive one, it’s her.

Even if that is not so, I have no doubt in mind that the reasons Vi will become an enforcer are thought-out and reasonable. People have been listing simple-minded theories since s1 came out as to why she might undergo this change - the most prominent one being She’ll become an enforcer just to stay with Caitlyn - and I’m just left wondering if we even watched the same show, the same character. The writers are not that slow. Among Vi’s core traits are resolve, stubbornness and loyalty. There’s no way she would agree to become an enforcer if she thought it spited or degraded anything about her or her upbringing. Let’s not forget that her whole childhood was shaped by the consequences of police brutality. She wouldn’t just… forget that. There is a real solid understandable reason that she’s become a cop, I am certain of it.

Nothing could ever make me hate u Vi

[heelovver]

~Super shy~

Hi~ ❤︎₊ ⊹

I ’m new here, hopefully you enjoy my writing thanks for reading

Pairing: EnemySunghoon x reader/afab

Genre: smut, enemies to lovers

Summery: Sunghoon and you have been enemies since childhood. Sunghoon was always rude to all the girls, and you always defended them. Sunghoon can’t stand fake girls who look for his attention that’s why he bothers you so much. You don’t treat him like a piece of meat. He only has eyes for you but you only know how to talk his ears off so he has to stop it somehow.

Warning: sexual themes, fingering, unprotected sex (rap it before you tap it), making out.

Not proofread

~❤︎~ ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧ ‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ₊ ˚‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧˚₊‧~❤︎~

Life since childhood has always been interesting. You always had good friends. You were well known and respected. You always did your best and acted accordingly. There is just one thing that has always bothered you. Park Sunghoon and his stupid face, stupid grades, and stupid attitude. You always came second place from him. He didn’t even try so why can’t you beat him. He just sleeps and you study your ass off day and night. He wasn’t even nice and everyone liked him while you had to suck up and fake it. Him and his stupid attitude towards everything. “Good job Sunghoon you got the highest graded essay.” “Thanks I guess”

It was a typical Friday evening 6:43PM to be exact. You just wanted to get your lecture over with and go home to sleep before the weekend. So why at this moment do you want to kick Park Sunghoon right in the balls. He is staring at you with that same old smirk he always had. It just so happens Sunghoon has to have the same class. Being the last person to leave due to taking extra notes. You pack your bag and head out. Standing there blocking the door not letting you leave. “Hey miss second place” he says while smirking. That stupid nickname he’d given you since elementary school all the way until now, college. “Go away idiot.” You reply glaring up at him. “Why do you try so hard when you know you can’t beat me darling?” You chose to ignore him and step on his feet. “Ouch” he bite his lip in pain. “Move or I’ll do way worse than that.” “So much attitude when I’m just trying to wish you luck on the exam. I Which you’ll need it.” Pissed you shove him away and speed walk to your car. Getting into your car driving away furious. “His Stupid, stupid, stupid smirk. Don’t let him in your head he just wants to get under your skin you’re way too old to fall for his stupid tricks.”

Saturday a night of studying in the library. Waking up then doing nothing the whole day made you feel lazy. Study was your only way of being productive. Sitting in the back studying for your upcoming exam. You feel someone sit next to you. “Miss second place studying on the weekend typical when you have no life.” Sunghoon sits grabbing onto the book you were reading. “Leave me alone or I swear I’ll mess that pretty face of yours up.” You tried to grab your book back. “You think I’m pretty thanks” he lifts the book out of your reach. You sit with your knees on the couch turning to him reaching for your book. “This is what happens when you never drink your milk in middle school.” Your face turns serious. Leaning back he toys with the book in front of your face. You harshly push him down to try and grab your book back. With that you fall in between his legs, your hands beside his head, face to face in shock. “S-sorry.” You say after what felt like hours which really was 4 seconds. He wraps his arm around your waist and lifts you both up. “Here” he looks up and sees your pout the kind of pout that makes Sunghoon flustered. He hands you your book and leaves. “Why is my heart beating so much and why did his stupid eyes look so so- shut up don’t think about that back to studying” you think to yourself before plugging your EarPods on playing your playlist and studying.

It was the day of the exam. You feel so tired from your late night study sech. Your handed your test looking at it and thinking it’s easy. “Thank god I studied” you thought to yourself. An hour passed your almost done just 14 questions left. From the corner of your eyes you see someone stand up handing in their test. Of course it was Sunghoon. Him and his idgaf face walking out of the class after handing in his paper. “How did he finish so fast. What a show off” you thought to yourself before rushing. “5 minutes left” your professor yelled warning everyone. Your focus gone over thinking every question you answered. “Fuck only 5 minutes and 3 questions left.” You muttered then bit your lips and answered with the best of your abilities. “Please hand in your exams placing them on my desk.” You stand up knowing you didn’t even get to do your best. Thinking “I did all that studying for nothing” feeling overwhelmed you packed your bags slowly. Tears threatening to spill out. Being last again in the class you didn’t care and tears started streaming out. “Stupid Sunghoon who only needs an hour when I can’t even finish within the time.” You muttered wiping your tears. You walked towards the door opening it just for somebody to block your way. Looking up it was of course Sunghoon. “We already know you got second plac-.” He looks down at you. You and your teary eyes, tear stained cheeks and that pout.

It’s always that stupid pout on your face that makes him dizzy and flustered. Ever since you guys were young one look at your face and he’d felt like the worst person in the world. He never told you of course. He was supposed to like being your #1 hated person, you guys are enemies. Why did he feel so guilty though why must he want to cheer you up.

Flashback: “hey can I play with you” Yunjin asked Sunghoon. “No” “Hey! you’re supposed to share” you yelled after seeing Yunjin cry. “I don’t want to” Sunghoon gave you a smug look. “My mom said sharing is caring!” Yunjin shouted. “I don’t care so I won’t share.” Sunghoon replied making Yunjin cry to you even more. “It’s okay Yunjin I’ll talk to him” you leave Yunjin and walk up to Sunghoon. “What do you want miss second place.” He stuck his tongue out looking at you. “Please let Yunjin play on the slide too.” You pout up at him. Sunghoon flushed in red “Fine but I’m not going to play with her.” Sunghoon walks away.

“That stupid, stupid, stupid pout. You know that was the first time I admitted I liked you to myself.” Looking up at him pouting even more so. “Liked” Sunghoon wipes the tear threatening to come out. “Yeah because right at this moment. I’ve decided I don’t want to hurt you anymore. All that enemies shit is stupid if it’s just going to hurt the girl I love.” He leans his face down so close you feel like you can’t breathe. “May I” he asks. “No you may not. How can I be the girl you love. All you do is bother me. You call me names like miss second place. You make me feel worse about myself. All I ever wanted was to be better than you so don’t act like this. Don’t make me act like this.” Sunghoon backs you up onto the door pinning your wrist above your head. “Act like what” he asks still inches away from your face. “Like a hopeless romantic. I don’t want to love you. You’ve only ever were rude to me. I can’t I won’t I will never accept thi-.” Sunghoon closes the gap and kisses you passionately. In shock you try to free your hands from his grasp. Sunghoon stops kissing you “That’s for making me hate you.” He kisses you again but rougher. “That’s for making me crazy over you.” He kisses you again gently. “That’s just because I wanted to.” He lets go of your wrists. You look up at him embarrassed and flustered. “You’re so annoying, how can you still win first at being a good kisser.” You hit him on the chest before wrapping your arms around his neck. You hide your face next to his neck. “I hate the way I’m in love with you when you make me so angry.” You move to look at him and pout. Sunghoon smiles at your cuteness. “Why don’t you take that anger out on me then.” He places his hands on your waist while you turn bright red. “Why so shy now. You always knew how to put your mouth into good use.” You hit him again but he caught your wrist. “You’re such a perv.” You walk out of the hallway Sunghoon following behind. “So are we a thing or what?” Sunghoon caught up interlocking your hands. “I guess we can be.” You answer not looking at him but already knowing he has his stupid smirk painted on his face.

A month has passed since all that hating nonsense. “I don’t wanna study I wanna shove my tongue down your throat.” Sunghoon sighs laying down onto the bed. “If you behave maybe I’ll let you.” You say then go back to reading. “Why do we need to study when we always place top anyways.” he looks at you playing with your hair still lying down. “You always place first I’m second.” “So, you’re first in my heart.” Sunghoon gets up giving you a goofy smile. “First off cringe and second shut up I really need to study.” “So mean” He grabs onto your book throwing it somewhere in his room. “Hey I told you I need to study for the anatomy tes-.” He grabbed you pulling you to straddle him. “You can study me. I’ll help. Touch me anywhere you want.” No longer serious but instead embarrassed you look away. “Fine you don’t want to study me I’ll study you.” He flips you both him now on top. He removes your his hoodie and your short shorts. “This part” he stops licking his fingers sliding them inside your shorts. “It’s the clitoris it contains more than 10,000 nerves. So when I do this.” He rubs your clit in circle making you slightly moan. “You turn into such a slut for me no matter how much you hate it.” He smirks looking at your expression. “This part is your vagina.” He shoves two fingers in without warning. “Sunghoon” you moan out gripping onto his biceps. “Yes baby” he looks down at you with his messy hair falling down. “This has nothing to do with the test.” You say whining. “Just for ruining the mood I’m gonna fuck you until you forget everything you to studied.” He leans down kissing you and shoving his fingers into you repeatedly. His tongue exploring every crevice of the inside of your mouth. You suck onto his tongue moaning. He adds a third finger fastening his pace. You arch your back subconsciously about to cum. “You gotta wait for me darling.” Sunghoon smirks at your annoyed face. Removing his fingers then sucking them. “You’re so gross.” You say looking at him in awe. He takes off your shorts along with your bra eyeing you the whole time. “Not fair I wanna see you too.” You pout at him knowing it’ll work. Sunghoon takes off all his clothing. “Better?” You replied by nodding yes. “We don’t need protection do we. Since I’m always first place I’ll get a good job you can stay home and take care of the kids, right? You wanna be stuffed to the brim with my cum don’t you. I wanna impregnate you so bad so everybody knows you’re all mine.” You groan rubbing your thighs together. “Just hurry and fuck me you’re so annoying.” “Since you asked me so nicely.” Sunghoon slides his dick between your folds. “Such a tea-.” Without warning he thrusts in making you gasp. His dick hitting all the right places made you clench. “Fu-fuck don’t do that I’m gonna fucking cum if you keep clenching.” Unable to control yourself you just moan. “So tight no matter how much I fuck you.” His right hand starts to pinch your nipple while his left rubs your clit. “Sungh- ahh too much.” He leans down sucking your sweet spot on your neck. Marking you with hickeys that’ll stay for days before replacing them again. You arch your back subconsciously too overwhelmed with pleasure you cum. Sunghoon cumming not too short later filling you up to the brim. Sunghoon fucks the mixture of both your cum that has been spilling out back into you. “Cumming first still makes you miss second place.” Sunghoon smirks.

[cocoabeloved]

❛ ♡ WELCOME !! ☕ ୧

↳ જ⁀➴ 🏹 ｡˚ “i want to do something splendid before i go into my castle--something heroic, or wonderful--that won't be forgotten after i'm dead. i don't know what, but i'm on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all, some day. i think i shall write books, and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream.” — JO MARCH, LITTLE WOMEN <33 (my absolute beloved!!)

❝ 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐌 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ❞

││↳ 🖇️ [FATMATA] -> fourteen • 🇸🇱/🇬🇧 • student • INFJ, 4w5 • november scorpio • slytherclaw • casual swiftie • major coffee addict (me 🤝 lorelai & rory over being insane over coffee) • PROUD FEMINIST • sacred moonchild • avid reader • CAT LOVER • pacey witter lovergirl • sunset & sunrise enjoyer • i hate it here by taylor swift as a person!! • philosopher at heart • major english & history lover • middle child • okokok girlie <33 (methinks) • sylvia plath & oscar wilde enthusiast • relate to 'chosen last' by sara kays more than i should • big brown doe-eyed cinephile • self-diagnosed pinterest whore • legally married to spotify • fashionista & red nails enthusiast • stationary shops adorer ♡ • forever a lover of the sea • total perfectionist, overthinker & teenage girl-er 25/8

╰┈➤ [MAJOR INTERESTS/HOBBIES] -> true crime ➝ music ➝ reading ➝ playlist-making ➝ philosophy➝ media/character analysis ➝ video essays ➝ english literature ➝ greek mythology ➝ dancing ➝ reading ➝ poetic cinema ➝ defending my beloved characters ➝ deep intellectual conversations ➝ greta gerwig films ➝ arts & crafts ➝ FASHION ➝ sleeping ALL day ➝ online shopping but never actually buying anything? ➝ researching random shit on the internet ➝ photography ➝ skincare ➝ crocheting ➝ cooking & baking ➝ studying ➝ writing in planners/organising journals ➝ going to stationary stores ➝ board games ➝ girlblogging ➝ maladaptive daydreaming ➝ scrolling on pinterest/tumblr for unhealthy amounts of time ➝ making moodboards ➝ etc. (but i also DESPERATELY want to learn the electric guitar because it's def the best instrument to ever exist?!)

╰┈➤ 🎧 [ARTISTS] -> taylor swift, lana del rey, olivia rodrigo, gracie abrams, conan gray, sabrina carpenter, beabadoobee, maisie peters, mitski, cigarettes after sex, sza, beyonce, reneé rapp, ABBA, melanie martinez, tv girl, marina, doja cat, the smiths, fleetwood mac, nirvana, rihanna, ariana grande, adele, lorde, mac demarco, phoebe bridgers, avril lavinge, boygenius, the cranberries, suki waterhouse, fiona apple, clairo, billie eilish, kali uchis, girl in red, arctic monkeys, pastel ghost, mazzy star, harry styles, the neighborhood, roar, alex g, pinkpantheress & more!!

╰┈➤ 🎬 [TV + FILM] -> dawson's creek. skins (uk). dead poets society. the virgin suicides. black swan. gilmore girls. bridgerton. derry girls. little women (2019). anne with an e. the breakfast club (1985). the perks of being a wallflower. the edge of seventeen. thirteen. heartbreak high. ten things i hate about you. girl interrupted. gossip girl. heartstopper. miraculous ladybug. uptown girls. legally blonde. [2000s chic rom-com teen girlie movies have me in a lethal chokehold, send help] etc. and MANY MORE 🫶🏾🫶🏾

❝ 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐓 𝐎𝐑, 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐋 ❞

╰┈➤ MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED!! - @catastrxblues, @sparksssflytv, @youronlymagnolia, @svnflowermoon, @i-miss-you-im-sorry, @stvrlighhttt, @halucynator, @nqds, @alltheliars, @tooinlovetothinkstraight14, @diorgirl444, @stvrlighhttt, @urgirlnextdoorr, @girlfailing, @shefollowedthestars, @wntrrdoll, @weeping-in-the-willows, @skeelly, @reminiscentreader, @isitoversnowtvs, @jewelledmoths, @moonanditstars, @french-toadt, @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies, @christmasslights, @urapocolypticcrush, @cottoncandywhispers, @lost-in-reveriie, @folklore-girl, @betteroffnowthatwedonttalk, @theladyinwhite13, @iwanttomarrynoahshaw, @emailsicntsend, @someones-name-insterted-here, @astraeasparrow, @evermore-4-life - ILY TO THE MOON AND TO SATURN 🪐 (let's all get married and live in the forest together fr)

┕ » • » i’d love to make more friends, feel free to ask or message me!! inbox is always open - PLEASE come say hi, i literally don’t mind at all! ꒱ྀི « ━━━┙

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ִ ࣪ ⟡ ִ ۫ ִ 🕯️ ── ꒱ ◠ 🎹 ۫ ִ ۫⊹

#THIS BLOG FULLY SUPPORTS PALESTINE 🇵🇸 !!

[iseebeautyinwords]

𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 | shuri x reader

wc : 1.6k

summary : being friends with shuri udaku is stressful, fun and romantic?

warnings : i did not reread this bc i am LAZY but this is my first work so please leave some tips!

taglist : @inmyheadimobsessed @zayswriting @pinkwright just some authors who continue to inspire me

the loud sounds of your university cafeteria where comfortably drowned out by the sound of your current favorite song. kehlani’s soft voice paired beautifully with the girls need love in strumental lulled you into a comfortable and less overwhelmed headspace. after finishing your quick and less than satisfactory lunch you made your way to the library. the soft bopping of your head to the song made your tight curls bounce on your shoulders, the cardigan you where wearing protecting you from the cold air that the building seemed to have year round. as you passed through the doors you mentally thanked the gods for the sight of an empty library, settling down in a quiet corner where you began to work on an essay for your differential equations class.

you worked in a comfortable silence, taking small breaks here and there. writing essays was a rigorous task that you did not particularly enjoy, which was well displayed by the bored look you carried on your face. soon enough a familiar scent interrupted your work, along with the pressing of cold hands to your eyelids. “you look like you’re having fun” your scowl quickly turned into a smile at the voice. “hi shuri,” the hands covering your eyes where removed and you heard the tall girl take a seat next to you, long legs spreading into a comfortable pose. you let your eyes rake over her attire. the low hanging pants she had on showing off her strong and well sculpted abs. your eyes made way from her outfit to her face where you found she was already looking at you.

“what’re you looking at?” her playful tease made your roll your eyes, turning back to your laptop before deciding that you were overall done with work for today. you turned around fully to let your friend know she had your full attention. though she always had your full attention.

“I’m sorry your big ass head was distracting me from my assignment.” you replied with the same amount of sarcastic playfulness that she gave you. the other girls dramatically held her head looking at you with shock and pain painted all over her pretty features. she looked too pretty pouting dramatically that you almost forgot to feel bad for your words.

“my mother said i would grow out of it” she tried to defend the obscure size of her large head. “shuri, you are twenty two years old. you’re going to die with that massive head”

“you’re such a mean girl y/n/n” shuri laid a freshly shaved head down onto your lap, the well defined curls on the top of her head landing softly. this act was one you had grown accustomed to, shuri always wanted to be touching you, near you, feeling you. her hand always gound yours or her knee always pressed against your own when sat next to each to each other. you didn’t mind the constant touches, infact you enjoyed the way you could hear her heart beat when she insisted on cuddling after a long study session, or the way her fingers found comfort in tracing intricate shapes on your skin. it was all so normal, so domestic for the two of you.

a few moments of peaceful silence passed before shuri abruptly stood up, grabbing your bag and laptop and shoving the electronic in its compartment . “C’mon pretty, i’m tryna take a nap” you knew this was her small invitation to her apartment, a nice space away from campus. you nodded getting up and tidying up the area before following next to the girl. she was carrying your bag in one hand and the other was linked with yours, fingers clasping together as you walked out into the parking garage, stopping at a black bmw with tinted windows. shuri opened the back seat doors and carefully tossed your bag in there before opening the passenger doors and making sure your situated.

the drive to shuri’s apartment was filled with small talk and comments about each others days. you were rambling about an annoying encounter you had with your roommate earlier that morning when you guys arrived at the large apartment building. “yea, and i kept telling her if she’s gonna leave her shit on my fucking bed im gonna throw it awa-” you were interrupted by the sound of the car door opening anf shuti waiting for you to step out. “you have a shitty roomate, why don’t you just ask to switch?” you two continued the conversation as shuri tapped in codes and buttons that led you guys to her humble abode. the apartment was a well decorated space with afro-futuristic art aligning the walls along with some plants that you brought. shuri set your bag down next to the couch and made her way to the open kitchen.

“want anything to eat?” before you even gave her your answer she had already started washing up some fruit. you took this opportunity to sit and get comfortable. soon enough you felt the couch dip next to you and a cold grape was being pressed to your lips. “open for me, pretty” she spoke so softly almost as if she was whispering. you parted your lips and allowed the grapes to fall into your mouth, closing your eyes contently as you chewed. you reopened your eyes to look at shuri who was suspiciously silent.

“you’re too quiet for me, what’s on your mind” when you voiced your thoughts shuri smiled. she placed the fruits down and leaned bag. when the two of you entered her home shuri had long discarded of her cropped hoodie, now sporting a black sports bra, and you had gotten rid of your cardigan sitting comfortably in your white tank.

“I can’t admire my pretty girl anymore?” my pretty girl these are words you’ve heard from shuri many times before. she constantly threw terms of affection and adoration your way and you always reciprocated those names, but it was times like this were shuri wasn’t just complimenting you, she was claiming you. calling you hers, saying it as if you were together and you wished you were. it would make it so much easier to accept her loving gaze as something more than just platonic. it would make the fleeting butterflied in your stomach every time she let her lips graze your skin make sense. it would make it so much easier. for the both of you.

you simply hummed at her words, your eyes falling closed again. “why?” the question comes out in a whisper, if it wasn’t for shuri’s intent, her need to listen to every word you said, she wouldn’t have caught it, and when she does her eyes brows furrow and her head tilts softly. “why what, mama” she replies to you in that same hushed tone, the term of endearment dripping with emotions you couldn’t understand, that you didn’t want to try understanding. understanding shuri udaku’s feelings was a challenges you weren’t born to take on.

“you keep, you keep calling me these names. calling me yours, holding me like im yours, But im not Shuri, i’m not yours and it hurts when you choose between acting like im your friend or your lover. it hurts” you end with a frustrated sigh. you wanted to be hers, oh so bad, but she made it a challenge, holding you close one moment but putting up a wall the next. The wall didn’t even make sense! it was okay to press kisses to your nape and forehead but asking you to be her girlfriend was too much? you didn’t understand, you couldn’t and you wouldn’t. you had multiple people you could be entertaining and if shuri thought otherwise she would be proven wrong. “I didn’t mean to hurt you y/n, i just i thought we already- i assumed wrong and im sorry” shuri’s words did nothing to soothe you, in-fact they confused you even more. what did she assume? did she think the two of you were already together?

“what did you assume shuri.” your words are quiet and sharp and it feels like if you don’t get an answer your heart might leap out of your chest and slap shuri itself. “I thought we were already, together, a couple. You met my mom, and my brother, we are always together. I thought that was being in a relationship” and this makes you laugh, a thick beautiful laugh. one that catches the panther off guard.

you laugh, and you don’t stop until you notice shuri isn’t laughing with you. “I’m sorry, i’m sorry, shuri you never asked me. you never asked me if i could be your girlfriend” and her lips part into an ‘o’ shape, you can see all the wires in her brain work together to realize that the whole time she thought she was parading around with her girlfriend, you thought she was just toying with your feelings. When she’s done thinking she looks back into your eyes and you think you’ve fallen for her all over again. the gaze she’s giving you is one of pure love and realization.

“Can i be your girlfriend y/n? please?” and you don’t respond, instead you just press your lips to hers and smile, and she does the same back, just kissing you and enjoying you, enjoying her girlfriend. hers. her swells with pride and joy and hours does the same. You guys sit there enjoying each other before you pull away “i mean by your standards we already are girlfriends right? since we are always together.”

[dustedmagazine]

Mope Grooves — Box of Dark Roses (12XU)

Box of Dark Roses presents the final 27 songs written, arranged and recorded by trans activist and musician stevie (Pohlman), a massive two-LP set that showcases her DIY art, passionate engagement and close links to other trans advocates, poets and revolutionaries.

Mope Grooves emerged in Portland, Oregon in the late teens, with a brash but vulnerable guitar rock sound and a message, from the beginning, about gender identity, inclusion and mental health. Their early albums, Joy and Vanished from 2017 and 2018 respectively, bristled with punk energy, with shouted anthems and loose-slung, infectious melodies. Dusted’s Jason Gioncontere called Desire, the band’s fourth album, “their most cohesive set yet,” late in 2019. And Portland’s Ben Parrish who caught them early and fell hard, wrote of an early show, “And Mope Grooves—Pohlman’s band—broke my brain. Imagine if somebody ran records by The Raincoats, The Clean, Beat Happening, Tyvek, and Marine Girls through a wood chipper and glued the pieces into a new super-record.”

Musically, Box of Dark Roses is more keyboard- and synthesizer-based than Mope Grooves’ earlier album, an uneasy sweetness percolating in its gentle melodies. The soft pretty songs are, in some ways, the most disturbing. “Forever Is a Long Time” pits tootling organ riffs against a sing-song melody, but sharpens the edge with rattling, off-kilter drumming. “Aileen” floats hauntingly graceful vocals over space-video-game pinging and rushing drums. “They’ll tell you you’re a criminal for paying them back in kind, but in the dark, in the wild, in the heart of the night, it is right to fight,” sings band member Lee. It’s a bracing sentiment in a song dedicated to Aileen Wuornos, a sex worker from Florida who killed seven of her clients, purportedly in self-defense. And “I’m Tired All the Time,” with its music box chimes, spiraling fiddle and slapping, just-behind-the-beat percussion, is a lullaby or a suicide note, depending on how you hear it.

Politics turn more explicit in the tracks with extensive spoken word incorporated. Marilyn Buck, the poet and May 19 Communist organization revolutionary best known for freeing Assata Shakur from the Clinton Correctional Facility for Women in New Jersey, speaks on a handful of cuts, including the opener “Controlled Burn” and “Here Comes the Moon.” The song “Continuity and Intensity,” tells the story of the Black Liberation Army’s Kuwasi Balagoon, who, when put on trial, declared, “We have a right to resist, to expropriate money and arms, to kill the enemy of our people, to bomb, and do whatever else aids us in winning, and we will win. The foundation of the revolution must rest on the bones of the oppressors.” The song “Dora” recites a detailed account of gender oppression in Weimar, Germany and the suppression of Magnus Hirschfeld’s Institute for Sexual Research.  The ratio of polemic to hook is pretty high on these tracks, but these were issues that mattered to stevie, and, as such, they belong here.

Box of Dark Roses was made near the end of stevie’s life (she killed herself in 2024), after a long struggle against gender dysphoria, physical and mental health issues, poverty and sporadic homelessness. In a lengthy, revealing essay included as liner notes, she writes, “I funded the recording process and the deposit on my surgeries by submitting my body to hyper-exploitation. I worked vanilla jobs 40-70 hours a week most of the time before relying increasingly on the informal economy. I was frequently in severe pain and losing work from chronic disabling illnesses that are aggravated by intense labor.”

And yet, though her suffering was real, she never lost sight of how much worse off others could be, particularly black and brown trans people. Before her death she stipulated that all profits from Box of Dark Roses should go to “gender marginalized survivors incarcerated as punishment for defending themselves, either directly to their fundraisers/commissary funds or thru the Survived and Punished NY mutual aid fund.”   This is a difficult, important record, a whole different experience from Mope Grooves’ earlier lo-fi garage albums, but well worth making time for.

Jennifer Kelly

[ssreeder]

HELLO

I didnt see that there was an update until now and i dont feel like discording and i just read the new chapter so here i am with my few main points bc i dont feel like doing a full live reaction👍👍🫶

Seeing Jeeto come into play in any capacity at all makes me feel like a proud parent watching their children grow. Its always wonderful like those are my emotional support middle aged fictional men. I watched them go from conspiracy to getting crumbs to now their "dates" and gossiping together. Youve gotta love it. Those are my children. Im so proud of them. But im also scared because you killed shen so obviously my feeligns mean nothing to you 🙄😒😒. (Im never going to get over that, im going to be 80 years old in some pst apocolypic enviroment with horrors all around me, but im going to be having nightmares about shen. Ill send you my therapy bill) (im going to get a tattoo in his memory istg)

Also its always really subtle but its funny to see your specific linguistical patterns in liab esp because i can never really explain it. Like ill read a random sentence and be like 'yeah that seems like sreeder wrote it' i just think its neat.

I also really loved zukka this chapter. But i always lovr zukka so its not a surprise. But espesially this chapter because its mostly soft zukka.

"Do you think we will stay together" NO Zukko divorce 🔫🔫. 🙅🏻🔥🔥🔥🙅🏾

The 'moving forward' ness of zukka in liab is so nicely written. Like ive been reading liab since (almost) the beginning and it has been a ride and its starting to feel more conclusive and that is SCARY but its also nice because you write it very well and i adore the way you write trauma and the healing of it and the ups and downs and the two steps forward two steps backness. Its very lovely.

I knew ara was going to have a suicide attempt (esque situation (idk if that counts)) i called it i win.

Idc what others say ara will always be amazing. I love her character SO MUCH

i feel like you can always tell the strengths of a writer in the way they write complicated characters and the way you write ara is very telling of that. Like the fragility and also harshness used for her is very realistic and i always enjoy her parts so much.

Like her deciding to move on independant of how zuko or sokka feel about it is and regardless of whether people thinks she 'deserves it' is immaculate.

And thats a good example on your specific strengths as the author of liab (being able to handle delicate situations well, and realistically and make them very thought out and not rushed, stuff like that).

But her 'i need to start getting along with other girls' is great because like,, RHATS SO TRUE. she is genuienlly one of my favorite characters of all time, i could write essays on why i love her. Exquisite.

REHO MENTION 🥳🥳💪💪💪💪

Thats my emotional support woobified early 20 something year old man. I adore him. If 30 people love reho i am one of them, if one person loves reho i am them if 0 people love reho i am dead (rip rehoes 😔) i will defend his (and aras) good names until i die.

Amazing chapter as always 10/10 *chefs kiss* im so excited for the series to finish and see what you do with everyone and the rest of the storylines and such.

Every time I think of Shen’s death I think of your utter devastation & how I wasn’t expecting you to be so distraught over it. I will say I had another commenter lately who was talking about how much they liked Shen & wanted an Iroh/Shen/Zuko dynamic and I kept thinking…. Damn it buddy, you’re going to be soooo mad at me in a few chapter haha…. oops.

ugh my linguistic patterns haunt me and I specifically ask my betas to check for them because I feel sooooo repetitive sometimes especially when there’s a lot of introspection lol. So it’s funny you mentioned that lol.

Omg I remember when I was still on RIA & someone in the server was like “dude I’m rooting for some jeeto.” & I was like oh no how do they know??? I created this fun divide between hakoda and bato just to push Bato into Jees arm!! Don’t spoil it haha, but whatever at least Dentys dead

Awwww thanks for the compliments it means a lot coming from you <3 but also yeah Ara is my delicate dumpster fire who says she going to make her existence everyone’s problem (most importantly sokka because damn girl could just LEAVE but she refuses lol) I love it. She’s fun, and any scene with her expect utter chaos haha.

every time I write Reho in a scene my mind says and the crowd goes wild,,, he’s annoying but I’m glad you like him.

thanks for this amazing ask you’re awesome

[ca-suffit]

Virginia's black anon has to be anon because we all know the only accounts who associate with her already and it's only 3 at most 😂 I guess nobody can make fake accounts when it's supposed to be for a black fan they don't hate.

There have been some racists comments floating around, but I never saw that from your blog.

Get your reading glasses then girl.

Your opinions have been a reflection of Louis as a character and not about Jacob as a black man.

This is where this nonny comment reads white as hell because what the fuck does this even mean? These are not separate things, baby. Louis is still a black man too! That's your whole fucking problem.

You can defend Jacob all day and say you love black people all day and still say the most antiblack shit ever in the next breath. You've been being told this and instead of listening, you and others keep targeting black fans as some kind of ignorant, illiterate mob out to get you. Idek why you started doing this but THAT is the antiblack part. It's not all just about claiming you "accept" this or that. You also have to actually DO THAT PART. Now it's clear why you think black fans gently teasing Jacob's hair is the real racism while you call Louis, Claudia, and Armand liars and manipulators solely to protect the character of Lestat (the REAL victim to you) and don't see a problem with it. This is why the white fandom mindset is dumb and dangerous af because it leads to stripping race from everything and defaulting to whiteness. This is why your insistence on "the books!!!" is bullshit and nobody cares, because the books are about white people and you're acting like that's still what this is when it's not! And when anyone says otherwise you make a big dramatic show of how you're being unfairly attacked.

IWTV fandom needs a scapegoat and that will be me so here’s my controversial takes..

And here's Neil's stupid ass once again missing the point of anything and still going on about fictional shit instead of reflecting on her antiblackness as well (why does everyone talk like a cartoon villain too lol). You love being the victim and changing topics instead of directly addressing anything. You all are the ones always saying you're such big critical thinkers, yet someone comes and spells it out real slow for you over and over and you still miss the point. This is why nobody is afraid of you or even takes you seriously, you're so fucking constantly stupid.

-way WAYYYY before the show I had a theory for the book that Louis killed Paul but now I’m afraid to talk about it even though it would make so much sense to him refusing to be labeled as a “killer”

Why are you so afraid to talk about it? Afraid the big, mean black fans might call you racist? If you have things to say, why don't you say them? Stop being such a baby about it. It's always the loudest mouths who want to say "I'm so scared u guys" over things that anyone else could just talk about. You're afraid to be called a racist because you only think about yourself and have nothing to really say after all.

You're the only ones who constantly move goalposts when it comes to talking about Louis. You make up this intentionally manipulative shit to say it's others (really just black fans tbh) who strip away Louis as a full character by not wanting him labeled as a liar or "bad person" but then you go around slinging this horseshit. If you think he killed Paul then write your big essay why. Why are you holding back now because they're black, you giant ass coward? Say it if you're gonna say it. This half assed ready-to-go-victim shit is ugly. I thought you were a tough book reader who could handle big topics. Pick a side already, asshole.

[lingeringscars]

top 5 yj pairings or top 5 canon characters 👀

top 5 yj pairings is becoming ships because @itchose is evil and made me choose dynamics so see here for that.

shauna/tai. they have an intimacy that will never be recreated by anyone ever. they understand each other better than anyone. betrayals by the other feel personal even if they aren't totally. they love each other, they hate each other, they can't live without each other. they're in love and they are not. they're everything.

mari/akilah. they've been gfs from the start. they went from not really knowing each other to clinging to each other. akilah becoming the most important person to mari, the one she can be the most vulnerable around, the one that she trusts the most. mari letting akilah cheat at choosing cards (and akilah deciding against it) because she's her person.

tai/van. they fascinate me sooo much. a casual hookup turned serious that could never be maintained once they leave the wilderness. the conflict in their views and the way tai shoots her down and van learns to speak up. the love that is this common thread between them even when that happens.

lottie/laura lee. laura lee as the only person to actually talk to lottie and make her feel heard and validated. no one in her life has ever done that, and in the wilderness she's probably overheard people talking about how weird she is acting and how she lost it and she's gone crazy, which isn't great when looking at her dad! but laura lee supported her and trusted her and had this long-lasting forever kind of impact on her.

shauna/nat. who am i if i don't force them to be included. they are real to me. they meet in person for the first time and it reeks of jealousy and love gone bad. i am entirely convinced they had an affair idc. they talk shit about each other. they love each other. shauna is jealous of nat, shauna loves nat, nat loves shauna. they cry over each other. shauna nurses nat back to warmth. nat begs and begs for people to help shauna. the hunter & the butcher. they are everything. i love reminding people that when nat picked the queen card we see shauna's reaction <3 it's not just because of what comes next <3 she's second because she's second to travis in this essay i---- they are real to me <3

bonus: shaunajackie. they compel me. they live in my mind. they're in love with each other. they're part of each other. the only reason they were bumped from this list is because they would never act on any of it. also honorable mentions go to: gen/melissa, jackie/nat, & lottie/nat. i also feel like i need to put travis/nat here because they are so deeply connected and influence each other in everything.

i immediately thought this was top 5 yj canon chars and then realized it could be 5 canon in general so you're getting both dohgs

yj:

mari

nat

tai

van

shauna

bonus: akilah, travis

canon in general:

christian ozera (vampire academy). tiffany told me to read this series and thought i'd attach to other people and then i came away with him and have been with him for 9 years now. he's my number 1 forever, really. snarky, lonely, caring, pushy, loyal love of mine.

bellamy blake (the 100). another long timer. been writing him since the season 2 finale in 2015. i've been with him through the trenches. he is a part of me at this point

layla keating (all american). i added her during or at the end of season 2 or maybe at the end of s1 it's hard to remember now and it was mostly for olivia/layla w/ cj reasons but the more we got of her, the quicker she became an actual and instant fave. her depression arc(s) is one of my favorites of all time, and it's handled really well imo. she's so complex and layered and fascinating, and i will defend and love her forever

spencer hastings (pretty little liars). at this point she is also a part of me. i don't even know if i can list the reasons why she's in my top 5, especially when all the pll girls are so important to me, but this show and char are a piece of me.

daisy johnson (agents of shield). while i think mari is making her way into All Time Favorite Chars territory, i need to go with another that I always come back to (and the one on this list that I Do Not Write). daisy's story is just so important to me. she finds a home, a place, a family, and a people. she finds a purpose. she finds love. despite everything she goes through and went through, she has so much heart. she fights for what she believes in, she hates herself despite being the best person ever, she shines like the sun and kicks ass like no other. she's a hacker with a heart of gold. she's everything to me.

ask me my top 5 anything // always accepting

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Spock

By Ames

Last week we highlighted (and lowlighted) James T. Kirk here in our new blog collection, going character by character where no one has gone before. It’s going to be a bit of a trek in and of itself, so join us here on A Star the Steer Her By to learn what we think of all your Starfleet favorites: when are they at their most naughty and most nice. This week, we’re moving on to the best first officer in the fleet and one of our favorite Vulcans, the ever logical Mister Spock!

For the franchise’s first major alien character, he succeeded in teaching humanity to audiences throughout his far-reaching tenure, and that wasn’t always his human half! Credit to Leonard Nimoy for giving us such a well-rounded character even though he couldn’t display emotions in the same fashion as the others (but boy did he find a way!). Follow along below for our thoughts on Spock’s best and worst scenes, and listen to some bonus chatter over on this week’s podcast episode (discussion at 1:05:00). Fascinating.

[Images © CBS/Paramount

Best Moments

Checkmate, Finney It’s been a minute since I released my blogpost about how bad I am at 3D chess (and all chess for that matter), but Spock’s so great at it that he uses his logic and big Vulcan brain to figure out the chess program is busted in “Court Martial” and save the day, which might be the Spockiest thing I’ve ever heard.

Pain! Pain! Spock mind melds a lot of critters throughout the shows and movies, but one of our favorites is when he connects with the Horta in “The Devil in the Dark.” Like in our Kirk spotlight when the captain defended the old girl, we’ve gotta credit Spock with communicating with her and treating her like a sentient being. And Nimoy’s acting in this scene! Mwah!

A man of integrity in both universes The Spock in “Mirror, Mirror” isn’t exactly our normal Spock, as his circumstances in the mirror universe have made him a different person in a lot of ways (mostly in the facial hair region). But in even more ways, he’s just like our Spock: someone who sees the illogical nature of the Terran Empire and who will take steps to make it better.

I love you but I hate you I don’t know why, but I’m just thoroughly tickled when Spock outwits the androids in “I, Mudd” with a logical paradox that breaks their computer brains. Sure, he tries a neck pinch first (he is Spock, after all!), but it’s telling the Alice robots, identical in every way, that he loves one but hates the other that causes them to malfunction all over the place.

Trademark Vulcan sass If Vulcans are allowed to express one emotion throughout all of Star Trek, it’s sass, and Leonard Nimoy can deadpan with the best of straightmen. In “The Trouble with Tribbles,” McCoy remarks that tribbles are “nice, they're soft, they're furry, and they make a pleasant sound,” to which Spock quips, “So would an ermine violin, Doctor, yet I see no advantage to having one.” Grade-A Vulcan sass right there.

Gladiatorial mind games “Bread and Circuses” may not be a good episode, but it gets the Spock-McCoy dynamic right. Not only does Spock save McCoy in battle, but that scene in the prison cell… I could write essays about that scene as they’re both so vulnerable and desperate to connect, but Spock, ever the Vulcan, represses that emotion… just barely. And when Spock tells McCoy that they share concern over Kirk’s safety without actually telling him, it’s perfect.

Vulcans are incapable of lying, he lied While we found Kirk’s behavior in “The Enterprise Incident” utterly baffling, Spock’s is thoroughly intriguing. He spends most of the episode seamlessly deceiving the Romulan Commander who’s thirsting after him so hard, and she plays right into his Vulcan-saluting hands because she didn’t anticipate so many loopholes allowing Vulcans to be duplicitous!

The wonders of the universe Am I mostly bringing up Spock mind melding a giant cloud in “One of Our Planets Is Missing” so that I can bring up my TOS fanfiction “Sentient Life”? A little bit.

I have been and always shall be your friend This list would not be complete without the beautiful sacrifice scene in The Wrath of Khan. The needs of the many do indeed outweigh the needs of the few in this perfectly poignant and amazingly acted character death. I can’t think of a better main character death in all of Star Trek and Nimoy crushed it.

Rock out with your Spock out We’ve also got to give credit to Leonard Nimoy for the Vulcan neck pinch, a nonviolent, nonfatal deescalation tactic that is perfectly in character. It is a great inclusion for such a logical people to manage violent conflict in a mostly harmless way, and one of our favorites is neck pinching the punk on the bus since it’s also one of many great comedic moments in The Voyage Home.

They are not the hell your whales Speaking of The Voyage Home, we’ve got more good Spock moments to choose from in that movie! It is such a smorgasbord of quippy, fun moments for our resident Vulcan because so much of the movie is that fish-out-of-water kind of humor, but everything Spock has to do with the whales, George and Gracie, is especially excellent.

Cowboy diplomacy We even get to see a little Spock action in The Next Generation when his plan to reunite Vulcan and Romulus gets revealed in “Unification.” It is such a noble goal from our logical friend (perhaps spurred by his encounter with the Romulan Commander in “The Enterprise Incident”? Nudge nudge!) and we loved seeing his resolve and commitment to helping his square-shouldered cousins.

—

Worst Moments

Beep twice for “NO!” I get that the studio wanted to save time and money by using the footage from “The Cage” in “The Menagerie,” but they had Spock acting fully out of character to make it happen. He kidnaps his disabled old captain against his will, he conspires to steal the ship, he puts the lives of everyone on the Enterprise in danger, he nearly gets Kirk killed in a shuttle, he creates an illusion of a flag officer! It’s a full-on mutiny that sees no consequences!

Life-or-death decisions, but mostly death “Strange. Step by step, I've made the correct and logical decisions – and yet two men have died,” says Spock in “The Galileo Seven.” Somehow, every time we see Spock in charge, everyone has a really bad day. The show would make you believe it’s because Vulcans only act on logic with no emotion or intuition, but they really need to stop leaving the ship in his hands!

Not even a grandfather paradox – just a father paradox Temporal shenanigans abound in “Tomorrow is Yesterday” when the Enterprise is forced to beam up Captain Christopher. Spock assures everyone that the displaced pilot will have no bearing on history, until he is forced to eat those words because this science officer neglected to check if Christopher’s son would be influential. Since when is Spock so careless?

A need-to-know basis We joked throughout The Original Series that Vulcans seemed to attain a new superpower each week. And since Spock just doesn’t seem to tell people things they need to know until they really need to know it, we don’t learn about his inner eyelids until “Operation: Annihilate!”, his parents being onboard until “Journey to Babel,” or his having a half brother until Star Trek V!

This has pon farr enough I’m frankly sick of everything about pon farr, and am dreading revisiting it in Enterprise. It’s yet another one of those Vulcan aspects they won’t tell you about until too late, and in “Amok Time,” it’s way too late. The whole biological circumstance is weird enough, but if Vulcans has told us any of their rituals ahead of time, Spock wouldn’t have had to kill his best friend in the kal-if-fee like a chump.

Heil Spock While it’s mostly a gag on the podcast that Spock loves Nazis, there’s definitely a reason why we think that. In “Patterns of Force,” Spock agrees with Gill when he calls Nazi Germany the most efficient state Earth ever knew, saying: “Quite true, Captain. That tiny country, beaten, bankrupt, defeated, rose in a few years to stand only one step away from global domination.” Does that make Spock a Nazi? Not entirely, but it would explain some things, like how quick to wanting to kill Mitchell he was in “Where No Man Has Gone Before.”

What a tangled web he weaves Like in “The Galileo Seven,” Spock ends up in command again when Kirk is presumed dead in “The Tholian Web,” and he borks it. The whole episode is about him and McCoy snipping at each other because of the effects of the area of space, but they’re both extremely out of character even without it, with Spock ignoring Doc’s warning about getting stuck in the web, making awful decisions, and generally being terrible at leading a crew.

If only I could forget We found it weirdly nonconsensual when Spock decides to make Kirk forget about his romance with Rayna (and who knows what else?) in “Requiem for Methuselah.” McCoy jabs at Spock that he’ll never understand, and then Spock seems to act just naively when he takes Kirk’s memory in his sleep, as if Spock were taking him literally when Kirk said he’d rather forget.

Behind every good woman… is Spock taking credit We’ll surely bring up “The Lorelei Signal” when we talk about Uhura’s best moments because it’s a rare moment for the women to get the spotlight, but there’s a moment in this episode in which, despite the lady crewmembers having already figured out the ploy themselves, they’ve hatched their plan “in accordance with Mister Spock’s request” and I vomit in my mouth a little.

You have not achieved kolinahr It’s pretty clear that the production team didn’t know they’d have Leonard Nimoy back for The Motion Picture until late in the writing process because his motivation is spotty at best. Since he has not achieved kolinahr, he rather makes his presence in the movie about himself, and to make matters worse, he yeets off to mind meld with V’ger without telling anyone!

I hear he's nutty as a fruitcake As beautiful as the death scene in The Wrath of Khan is, it’s also pretty messed up for Spock to cram his katra into McCoy with no warning and with dire effects. Think about it: none of the humans knew before The Search for Spock that katras were even a thing, and Bones could have gone insane just for the sake of bringing the character back to life, negating that great sacrifice!

They flung their wooden shoes called sabots into the machines We love a good mind meld on Star Trek, but Spock just plain crosses a line in The Undiscovered Country when he mind rapes Valeris to expose her as the saboteur. Considering the mind meld was first created in order to give Spock an alternative to violent action to combat assailants, using it in a way that’s so violating is the most uncomfortable moment we could think of.

—

Keep your medical tricorders scanning here as we continue along through all the main characters from The Original Series! Next week, we’re scanning for Dr. Bones McCoy here on the blog, as well as continuing our watchthrough of Enterprise over on the podcast. You can also send a message over subspace on Facebook and Twitter, and keep your damn katra to yourself. Live long and prosper!

[fumifooms]

Mozu character analysis - Power & Security

[pics: first is from here, second is from here. First is the official translation but second can also reinforce details imo]  Tw for: extensive discussion of parental physical abuse and trauma. Violent demeanor and also implied sexism & objectification.

Mozu’s a really interesting character that Dr. Stone barely scratched the surface of with the prodigy discussion with Hyoga, and I’m just unhinged enough (and my college semester just ended) so that I’m going to write an essay about his psychology. Rejoice, autism be upon ye. It’s under a cut bc buckle up everyone this is gonna be long. Oh also, this is just a fan analysis so of course I can’t and don’t claim that this is the ultimate universal “right” reading of his character, but I do think it’s a solid reading with what canon gave us. Also I have to confess that I didn’t read all of the Treasure Island arc… I mostly skipped chapters except the ones Mozu was in lol, for that reason I might very well be unaware of some aspects.

The way his backstory affects him

Here are the main points of canon to keep in mind for this:

1: His father was abusive, and when he started being violent with him, Mozu almost killed him when he retaliated. 

2: He’s lived all his life on Treasure Island, and is its lead warrior, very high-ranked.

3: He’s a prodigy that supposedly was born with an innate incredible physical strength. 

Now I’m a nurture over nature kinda gal, so we’ll spend a long time talking about how his environment shaped him. We’ll start of by clarifying the father situation as much as we can: it’s rare that someone/a relationship goes from 0 to 100 like that, I think it’s safe to assume that even before he started hitting him his father was still very much unpleasant and abusive in various ways.

So let’s get into it. 1: Do I even have to talk about how much having an abusive parent fucks you up. That kid probably developed hypervigilance and survival instincts early on at home, that tends to happen when you have to make sure your father isn’t going to take out his anger on you, and calculate what you can do to not get punished, more on that later. You know, like that post of someone talking about how someone angrily folding a sock at you makes you tense and adrenaline rush. Things become warning signs to defend against, anyways I’m getting slightly sidetracked- I’m sure his father taught him a bunch of shit ideology by his actions and words. Just even how he sees himself being a prodigy: being as strong as he was is how he was able to defend himself when his father became physically abusive, maybe he could have even died. That alone could explain for me why he values the innate qualities such as strength and beauty in people instead of training and earned skills, because in his case if he hadn’t been born strong or whatever he wouldn’t have been able to come through the way he has. He’d be in deep shit. And that’s why he sees innate strength as the only thing that distinguish people of value. Just getting beatings alone, without the extra backstory of retaliating, could have very well “taught” him that strength is the way the world runs, making him see it as the ultimate thing to possess. The human brain focuses first of all on survival and safety, whatever wrong things you learn or do come in second to that, especially when you’re in a developmental stage like a kid.

2: I think we can all agree the system on Treasure Island is hella tyrannical. Ibara can pretty much do whatever he wants, and the only untouchable people are the one who are high-ranked (pretty much only warriors) and… Yep no that’s it. Mozu became the highest ranking warrior besides Kirisame thanks to his strength and that’s what keeps him secure and generally comfortable, with his access to the harem girls and ressources, as well as being generally respected and feared. His strength is what gave him that, and his strength is what ensures he’s safe in the hierarchy and in general. Once again, his world view about innate strength being the most important thing is reinforced by the whole Treasure Island system and society he lives in. What can he do, flee Treasure Island? Hah, good joke. So he follows the system and takes advantage of it as much as he can, even shooting for becoming the chief at some point.

3: Soo the reason he’s 1: alive and safe, and 2: in a good place in the society hierarchy, ensuring him safety and comfort, is that he’s a prodigy, that he was born with that strength. I’ve already mentioned it in the other points, but yeah at this point there’s nothing that can prove to him that his world view, about innate strength meaning you deserve everything you want and deserve to rule over the weaker, is wrong. It’s very much a "survival of the fittest" mindset with a focus on eugenics. That’s where Hyoga comes in, kicking his ass, but that’s for later on.

I do feel like the way he deals with conflict is very telling as well. When Mozu realized he knew who the invaders were, he sat back and watched over to see how the chaos would unfold. He stepped to the sideline and let things happen, so he could later strike when the opportunity presented itself and he could side with whoever is going to win in the end. That *cough* sounds like *cough* a strategy someone who lived in an abusive home would instinctively develop, make yourself scarce so no attention is placed on you when things are bad and shit is brewing, then take the opportunity to grab power if it’s safely presented to you. 

So. I think it’s pretty much canon subtext that Mozu seeks power as a trauma response. Power in his life has meant safety and control of his life. Literally just self-defense and survival instinct/self-preservation. Not only power in status, but also innate, believing that the attributes with which you were born are what gets you to where you deserve to be in life, strength (and beauty just as a collateral product of what he considers to be innate qualities). In that sense, like any other unhealthy trauma response, it’s something he should unlearn to heal, and to stop being a piece of shit also.

There are also other aspects of his character that support this, that’s kind of all his character tbh, but for example there’s just how much he doesn’t blink at, and even thrives in, violence. There’s how he was very trigger-happy when it came to killing the science crew, almost playful in the way he treated their lives like lottery. He’s cold hearted and sees killing someone you can defeat as a right, and he doesn’t assign value to lives at all, except when he can get something out of it, power mostly (letting the science crew live so they can get the medusa out of the picture, with Kohaku getting informations on the invaders). 

If you think about it, he’s also a lot like Denji from Chainsaw Man… Just look at this post. He just seeks quick instant gratification through sexual affection. Has he ever even had any positive relationships? Does he even know how to express and receive affection? It is after all well known that hypersexuality can be a coping mechanism born from trauma.  All of the relationships and interactions we see him have with others on Treasure Island (apart from the harem girls) are professional in nature. It’s implied he has no friends from the lack of counter evidence. We don’t see him just hanging out with anyone, no one speaks of him with any sort of fondness. It’s also lowkey implied he doesn’t seek out the same harem girl multiple times, so there’s very low chances of him having formed a connection or friendship with any of them. So, he’s got no friends, no family, no romance. The only validation and affection he gets is in a professional sense because of his feats (which is in turn due to his innate strength) and from the “special time” spent with harem girls. Iirc we don’t even know if the harem girls like him or not, they might just be doing their job… So, like. Yeah, the only positive attention he gets is from maiming people and from sex, so that already paints a pretty picture doesn’t it.  Edit: Ok so I found it too much of an assumption to put it in initially but I always think about it again so, with the way Treasure Island guards frequently have to turn dissident people to stone or worse, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mozu’s apathy when it comes to killing or even murderous tendencies kinda come from the fact that he was pushed to do them + it’s very normalized there. Like… Mozu lowkey dissociating to get into a killing mood or when thinking back on it and trying his best not to dwell on it is a concept that has got me going. Not mentioning the systematic murdering and how that might affect him negatively being the one that has to carry it out would just be a missed opportunity from me. 

Motives & other traits

His biggest motivation for becoming chief of Treasure Island, if we’re to believe his own words on the matter, is that he wants the harem…? Yeah well, I’m sure that’s part of it, gratification and possessions for a type of pleasure that he does value, but I do think the power part of it is understated a lot. He’s obviously a character that cares a lot about power, and so I think he just didn’t talk about that part much because it’s just obvious. He wants to become chief because chiefs are at the top of the hierarchy, and why would he not want that. In part, I do think he doesn’t realize just how much the chase for power drives him. He seems to kinda just be doing whatever he wants to do at the moment, which to me seems like it means that Mozu’s craving of power is a subconscious thing to him. To him, it probably all just sounds like the natural thing to seek. Oh and that does bring me to another point, I think freedom is really important to him. The freedom to meet with harem girls, the freedom to be at the top of hierarchy, the freedom that comes with being the strongest around, the freedom that comes with everyone having to listen to you if they don’t want you to kill them, he wants to have no limits and be fully unrestrained. Comes with living on a small island you can’t leave that has a super strict system that treats you like shit, tbh. The negotiations with Gen were very interesting for me because of this, when he had the knee-jerk reaction to demand he keeps the medusa after their alliance because Gen said he couldn’t. He wants the freedom to choose to keep the medusa or not, even if he doesn’t actually really gives a shit about it because he’s the strongest without it anyways, so he decides he’ll keep the medusa as a show of power, simply because he can and the science gang can’t go against him. Phrased differently, the negotiations with Gen also confirm he’s pretty contrarian in general, wanting freedom and pushing for it thoughtlessly regardless of the practicality of it (he didn’t seem like he cared about getting the petrification beam. It’s just a power move, because that’s what he wanted: unconditional power).

He’s a veryyy proud character, we we know this, big ego that thinks he’s hit shit with the ladies and the strongest and that means he deserves everything he wants on a whim, but he does react very badly when someone talks about him negatively or otherwise challenge him (Kohaku when she said he had no integrity or appeal lol, making him go “you’re no longer cute, let’s fight to the death now”). He takes rejection really bad. Maybe that can show that his self-esteem is less strong than we think. Not that it’s completely a front, boy no actor is that good, but certainly, Mozu could get triggered by someone insulting him or confronting him with his flaws, insinuating that he’s anything less than worthy of his success or whatever else. His strength and, eh, beauty, are the only things he has going for him after all, he might get touchy with them being put into question, or rather having their worth put into question the way Hyoga does by claiming people can train and become better than Mozu if they have enough trained talent. It can also be less personal, that just as someone who hasn’t been used to people refusing him anything for a long while and being contrarian himself having someone just straight up provoking him or insulting him makes him see red. Whatever, cool excuse for bloodlust, bro.

He’s also not as impulsive as one would assume with his horny jock archetype tbh. Rather, he’s very observant and calculating, which was pointed out a significant amount of times. I do feel like it’s often overlooked that he didn’t just want to keep Kohaku alive because he wanted to sleep with her, but that his end goal was for her to spill the beans. It’s a threat as much as it’s unappealing flirting, a power move once again. He likes to do a lot of them, to be sure. That’s why he bragged about lowkey wanting to kill the science crew in front of them. Anyways- Yeah, in the end even with Kohaku, everything he did from A to Z in the Treasure Island arc was to actively further his own agenda. Also he’s sneaky and light in his feet, rather than being super loud or even attention seeking tbh. (Watching people quietly & noticing things/spying, sneaking into the cave without anyone hearing or seeing him arrive, the whole cloaked surprise attacks thing)

Redemption & healing

So. How did this fucking murderous selfish piece of shit become this?

Well… Errr, an off-screen redemption arc?

It’s very much swept under the rug, the difference between the climactic battle he had with Hyoga and later on after he got unpetrified to become a part of the science kingdom is staggering, and unexplained. The manga wants you to assume that his last conversation with Hyoga explains his change of heart enough. Which… It kind of does? Like, canon if you could have spent like 1 panel telling us that Mozu has been training with Hyoga and getting along well with the crew and acclimating peacefully it’d have been cool but whatever, we can piece it out pretty well on our own.  My best guess for his off-screen redemption arc is that the whole Hyoga speech and defeat humbled him enough to reconsider some of his life philosophies (pretty much the canon reading, especially since he confirmed he’d like to train, aka an acknowledgement that he’s not the best he could be + shows him learning some work ethics). But, I like to think that what makes him become much more of a team guy rather than wanting to be above everyone, is that being away from Treasure Island and the tyrannical system that was there, his agression and need for hierarchy subsided because in Senku’s group there is safety. There is no struggle for power, working for one guy that just wants to be powerful and take advantage of that (Ibara. Which ironicalky is what Mozu himself wanted to become, since he had no example of what else there is than exploiting and being exploited), instead there is a community that is very open and humane, one that values the life of even their worst enemies, one that doesn’t treat you like shit even if you contribute less to the working force or have unconventional qualities. He got fricking humbled, and he found that there were other ways to live. So, he mellowed out. That’s kind of the only realistic explanation I can make for it, so in the end I do think that supports my reading that his resorting to violence so automatically and all o’ that is a trauma response. The epilogue chapter showed he got a happy ending with plenty of chicks so like, lol, things are working out for him ig. 

And that’s how you turn an horrible irredeemable-seeming villain into a comedy relief character with minimal exposition and redemption arc. 

In conclusion

[last pic source: https://www.tumblr.com/9009l3/658963831138238464/mozu-flower :) 💖]

Also I made a spotify playlist for him bc I’m cringe, here it is if ya want it: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/79AEoXTRT3GTYVGlUONGol?si=ag6wl-CnT569OCM5CGWnhw

[motownfiction]

unexpected prophet

Will could have stayed at the hotel, but he didn’t. He has this thing about being alone now. He’s never liked it, per se, but it’s gotten worse since Sam died. Just over four months since his funeral now, and it seems weird not to know where Lucy is at all times. So, when she had to sit for a dissertation defense of some wannabe novelist she’s only met in person twice, he came to the English building along with her. It’s better knowing she’s right behind that door. He can’t believe they had to leave Emma with Carrie and Charlie.

That’s when a little girl in an Alice in Wonderland dress runs past him, unafraid of anything, laughing loudly in a quiet hallway. A harried woman chases after her.

“Faye!” the woman calls after the little girl. “Faye Egan, you come here now!”

“Which one’s Daddy?” the girl laughs, trying to see through closed doors.

“I’m not telling you.”

“Why not?”

“Because we don’t want to distract him.”

“Dis-tract! Dis-tract!”

The woman scurries down the hallway and picks up the little girl. She looks at Will with exhaustion in her eyes, and something in them reminds him of Lucy.

“Sorry,” the woman says. “My husband’s defending his dissertation right now, and somebody’s a little tired of waiting.”

“No problem,” Will says. “Is she four?”

“Actually, yeah. Should I ask how you know?”

Will laughs.

“It’s nothing,” he says. “I’ve got two daughters. Got pretty good at guessing ages the more they started making friends.”

“Oh. How old are your kids, then?”

“Eight and nineteen.”

The woman looks at him like she doesn’t believe him. Will laughs again. That’s his favorite part of listing Emma’s age first.

“And I’m twenty-three, so, how did that happen?” he jokes.

The woman laughs, too.

“So, don’t worry about your little miss bothering me,” Will says. “I’m used to it.”

The little girl – Faye – waves at Will.

“Hi!” she says.

Will waves back. He points to the closed door in front of them.

“You said your husband’s defending his dissertation in there?” he asks.

The woman nods.

“Yeah, time’s almost up,” she says. “Our daughter’s been through two of these this week, though I guess she behaved a little better during mine.”

“So, you’re a doctor, too!”

“Mmm-hmm. I’m not necessary in any emergency, though, unless you come up against a real Brady Bunch stumper on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”

“Ah, don’t sell yourself short. My wife’s the same kind of doctor. I think she’s sitting on your husband’s committee, actually.”

The woman’s eyes light up. She has that thing – that thing smart girls have. Will almost can’t believe they haven’t met before. She seems so familiar, like they all come from the same place. Will feels that way about a lot of people now.

“You’re here with Dr. Callaghan!” she says. “Oh, man. I had to take one literature class here, and we read her essay about narcissism in The Mill on the Floss … that was good shit. I’m the one who gave Chris the idea to write to her. I thought she’d get it.”

Will nods.

“Lucy gets a lot of things.”

The woman extends her hand for a shake.

“I’m Blair,” she says.

“Will. Not a doctor. Just a lawyer.”

“Just a lawyer. My family would be thrilled if that were me.”

Faye runs in between them and throws her hands in the air. Will grins. There’s something so … Elenore about her.

“Hi!” she says again.

“Sorry,” Blair says. “This is my daughter, Faye. She’s about done waiting.”

“I don’t blame her,” Will says. “Feels like this defense has been going on all day.”

“Tell me about it. Mine felt like a year.”

She looks at Will like she’s trying to place him, too. Maybe they have met before. Lucy mentioned that Chris Egan (whom Will still thinks of as Chip) was from Ann Arbor-Saline and married his high school sweetheart, too (“Just not when he was still in high school,” she joked while she read his novel). How easy would it have been to walk past them at a movie theater or a concert at the Joe? The world is big, sure, but it doesn’t feel much bigger than Michigan.

“Why’d you come along?” Blair asks. “Wanted to get a look at our tall ugly gray building?”

“No,” Will says. “Just … didn’t want to sit alone in a hotel.”

Blair nods. Clearly, she’s smart enough to understand what’s going on, but she’s also smart enough not to say anything. Will hears the door open behind him, and his heart leaps for a glimpse of Lucy. He doesn’t get one. The door closes again, and Faye shouts.

“DADDY!”

Will turns around and sees a dark-haired guy, about his own height, scooping up Faye and carrying her over to Blair.

“They’re deliberating?” Blair asks.

“Yeah,” the guy – Chris, Chip, whoever – says. “I think it went pretty well, though I had to answer a few too many questions about Freud.”

“Fucker.”

Blair gestures toward Will, and Chris looks at him like he didn’t see him standing there.

“This is Dr. Callaghan’s husband,” she says. “He’s not a doctor. Just a lawyer.”

“Just a lawyer,” Chris repeats. “Shit, if I’d wanted to be a lawyer, my dad would probably still be alive.”

He shakes Will’s hand. Surprisingly professional, for a novelist.

“Hope Lucy wasn’t too tough on you,” he says. “I know my wife, and I’m pretty sure all those Freud questions came from her.”

“It’s alright. She was right to ask ‘em. Uh, Blair, honey, can we maybe move a little away from the door? I’m terrified I’m gonna hear them talking about why I suck and should never publish a real novel.”

“Of course.”

But before they walk into another corner, Blair looks at Will with those eerily familiar eyes. He’s not sure if she’s going to say anything, but she does.

“It’s OK,” she says. “Whatever it is. Why you can’t be in the hotel. It’s OK.”

Will nods. He knew she understood. This unexpected prophet with the giggling little daughter and the eerily familiar eyes. Maybe she’s right.

He waits for the door to open again. This time, he’s going to get a good look at Lucy, just to make sure she’s still there.

(part of @nosebleedclub daily challenge -- day 28! yes, i am attempting more crossovers between my fiction blogs 😭)

[irkimatsu]

I don't know if this question has already been asked so I apologize in advance for the inconvenience! how did you find out about Hazbin hotel? and what charmed you about husky ? :3

Nope, hasn't been asked before! There's actually a long process on this one! Story time!

First time I heard about Hazbin Hotel was when the pilot came out; Twitter was buzzing about it, and that already might have drawn me in, because "dark musical comedy with fantasy elements and themes of forgiveness and redemption" is already right up my alley and I could feel the Jhonen Vasquez inspiration radiating off the character designs. But what really tipped me off was a friend of mine, Lauri; she was particularly excited about it, and I trust her taste, so I jumped in. (Helps that her favorite is Alastor, who reminds me a lot of another character we bonded over back in the day. Seems we have a "she likes a sadistic bastard and I like the guy held emotionally captive by him" thing going on.) And I loved it! Wasn't super invested just yet, but I did really hope it'd be a full series someday. Don't think I really noticed Husk at this point. I was still deep in Osomatsu-san brainrot, so if anything I probably just went "haha cranky cat, it's like Ichimatsu" and then moved on from him. Favorite at this point was actually Charlie, and she's still a close second. Loved and wanted more of Charlie from day one. She has such magical girl vibes, I love her

Helluva Boss pilot dropped, what, a month later? Watched that because I liked Hazbin and holy shit is that Richard Horvitz. Richard Horvitz said fuck. Okay clearly I need to keep up with this one. And so I did! Avoided its presence on the Internet like the plague, though, because it's a fucking dumpster fire in there and I didn't feel like writing multiple well-sourced essays defending myself for liking a web cartoon that says fuck and makes jokes about murder. Watched it in secret, basically, aside from the occasional fanart reblog. It wasn't a hyperfixation yet, just a fun thing to watch every time a new episode dropped. Catchy music, Moxxie and Blitzo are my boys, it's a fun little side hobby, hey what if the Matsuno brothers started an assassination business in hell-

(Somewhere in here I watched "The Good Place" from start to finish, which isn't super relevant, just that the reason I started watching it was because I thought, hey, isn't that show about redeeming sinners? That's what Hazbin's about! I think I really like that concept, so I'll check it out! Two very different shows, but they're both dear to me because god I need forgiveness narratives, especially in today's social hellscape.)

2024, and I find out that the Hazbin series is finally out because Twitter won't shut the fuck up about how "Poison" is homophobic and victim-blaming or whatever. My main thought is, of course, "oh shit, that's finally out! time to watch it!", not believing any of the criticisms because I already decided years ago that the Internet is fucking stupid about this franchise. First four episodes were up at this point. Watched it fully expecting to enjoy it, but not really expecting to get too invested, still assuming I'll never talk about it online because I just do not need to deal with that shit. Still love Charlie, and the rest of the cast charms me quickly - especially Husk, because in the main series he quickly proves to have more to him here than the pilot let on. Hazbin really said, here, have a scrungy old cat with emotional trauma. I gobbled that shit up immediately.

And then " Loser, Baby" happened. Husk's dancing. Husk's singing voice. Husk's attitude of "yep, shit sucks, we screwed up, there's no use denying it or downplaying it but we're not getting anywhere if we wallow alone in our own misery", that theme of redemption and hope I wanted from this show from the start, here he was exemplifying it. I watched that scene on YouTube constantly, fully expecting to fall in love with Huskerdust. I did, for about five minutes.

And then I realized, fuck, I'm not actually in love with this ship, I'm in love with Husk. So much so that despite my misgivings, I couldn't just keep my mouth shut about how much I love this show, especially how much I love Husk. But no way in hell am I saying that on Twitter, people suck over there, and besides, the character limit isn't enough for all the rambling I wanted to do. So I dusted off my Tumblr blog and quickly became unhinged.

And now I'm here!

[dabihawksluvr]

.: Long Awaited 'Essay' On Trans People :.

I wanted to talk about this for awhile, but I never felt I had the time to. But, after remembering this topic after literal months (mostly because I saw the video on one of the people I'm gonna talk about here pop up in my Youtube feed again), I am going to be as clear and precise as I can with all of this. But keep in mind, this is just my opinion and I am in NO way trying to defend these people - it's simply an analysis on how the early 2000's created two monsters for very similar reasons. (If I ramble I'm sorry I am sick while writing this)

After re-watching the 'Ember McLain Guy' video again, it helped me realize something that I don't think a lot of people picked up on. In this specific case, the guy said he 'felt like a girl' and everyone else seemed to skip over that fact in the comments I saw. Not one person (besides me) brought up the point that the guy might've been trans, and I can kind of see why it was skipped over. But it's still a point I'm bringing up here, because I believe it's only part of the puzzle.

Another infamous case similar to this is Chris Chan, who has come out as trans (mtf). But again, this is only part of the puzzle. A person can be trans for their own reasons, but I bet that in a lot of cases (especially in the early 2000's) that a lot of these 'men' are actually trans - during that point in time, being trans wasn't as open or as talked about by the general public unless it was a 'joke' or to demean someone. Not only that, but the old 'predator' line was used a lot against the trans community even back then. So if a 'man' felt like he was in the wrong body at the time, they'd most likely bury it deep until it messed them up even more.

Of course, these two individuals I'm talking about here are still mentally unstable regardless of their identity. But it definitely feels like the fault of an era that they felt they couldn't get help before they pushed the limits and hurt others, if they could just have seen a therapist then maybe they'd be 'normal' (at least more than they ended up being). Not just to discover their identity and realize it's ok, but to also get help for their other issues as well (not going to diagnose either of them here as it'd be unfair).

And, sadly, I don't know if there was any other cases like this but it does seem that when a 'guy' would bring up they 'feel like a girl' no one ever thought that maybe they should seek therapy fot it. Even in the modern day, people glossed over that point when watching documentaries on these individuals and instead targeted them on other points (the fact they were loners living with their parents and on the internet a lot). Which is not really fair, maybe it's just me readng into it a bit too much but it really feels we are missing out on a good talking point for trans rights and how denying one's identity can lead to them making drastic decisions (not just mrder but also sucide and slf hrm).

It's a good point that further goes into why men feel they can't be open/emotional, and why women always feel attacked by those same men (I actually talked about this point with my brother last night after watching some Hunter Avallone so I'm bringing it up here). In truth, if the system didn't have these hard-wired things on gender then people like Chris Chan and the 'Ember McLain Guy' most likely would've gotten help long before they ever truly snapped. But even if they didn't get help, the option would still have been there for them to take. And that's the point - having the option for help, rather than having nothing and then society is to blame for these events.

tl;dr - The early 2000's was not kind to the trans community at all, and it led to two individuals who were born as 'men' to not get the help they needed out of fear but instead they went out and harmed others. Society sucks, humanity needs to do better.

[yesterdayiwrote]

https://www.tumblr.com/yesterdayiwrote/762167834490077184/i-do-think-certain-people-within-mercedes-should?source=share you guys will believe everything and anything anyways whether that's concerning george or mercedes or f1 in general 💀 lmfao and yes you're over invested in f1 and in george like most of us fans we dont know these people they're privileged enough and rich enough to drive these things to be in this kind of environment and these people, yes including george are in places like monaco where they dont pay taxes while the rest of the world ( excluding the rich and powerful ) are suffering in paying.

you're WAY too invested in george to a point it is being so parasocial, that man doesnt give two shits at all ( whether you defend him or not nor him giving two shits about you lets be real, these people in f1 do not give two shits about social justice keyboard warrior fans ) because if he were and we know how he is, he'd be leaving that team if he thinks he's not fit there or if they're not treating him right, he's a grown ass man, stop babying him.

I've been torn between just putting a straight block on this or replying (because tumblr only lets you do one), but seeing as you think it's fit to come into my inbox and just send this shit to me behind cowardly anonymity, I just want to get this off my chest.

In the past few weeks, I've had anons telling me I care too much and I don't care enough. Telling me I'm over emotional but also telling me that I'm too cynical. Whatever I write I seem to get some form of shitty anon rushing to tell me how I've done or said the wrong thing.

I'm a fucking stranger on the Internet. I'm just some random girl with an opinion of no consequence, but I'm also a fucking human being. I try and be SO honest about my feelings and the facts are my feelings are complicated and messy sometimes. I've called myself out for being parasocial before. I've addressed multiple issues you've mentioned before because, guess what! It's possible to feel contradicting things! I've got a whole fucking essay on here from a few years back about how much the Monaco tax situation pisses me the fuck off (oh and guess what I got shit for posting that too!) I've admitted that whilst I try and be reasonable and logical that I'm not immune to my emotions and biases getting in the way, but I don't think I've done anything to deserve opening my inbox to this type of patronising, aggressive shit telling me what a dick I am actually.

If you don't like what I post that's absolutely fine. We all have posts we read where we think 'oop, don't agree with that really', but I am absolutely begging you to understand that piling in to someone's inbox, and hiding behind anon to try and make them feel shit about themselves by telling them what an idiot they are... its really not normal behaviour in any metric. I am not perfect. I'm not immune to doing or saying or thinking or feeling the wrong thing, so stop fucking expecting me or anyone else to adhere to some weird unwritten specific 'vibe' in order to be deemed "acceptable". Wouldn't life be fucking boring if we all behaved in exactly the same cookie cutter way?

[mekatrio]

ho hum ho hum very quick rough skeleton planning of what a proper apollo justice trilogy would look like if it were up to ME:

firstly there'd be a rfta-type case to stick at the end of ajaa, which will patch up the plot holes that 4-4 left behind (mostly gavin brothers backstory + mason system lore)

ajaa2: APOLLO JUSTICE EUROPEAN INTERNSHIP, phoenix is busy studying for the bar so to get rid of distractions i mean to enrich his employee's working experience, he ships them off to where edgeworth is fucking around in europe. edgeworth is a legal researcher there not a prosecutor so its chill for apollo to intern w him. ema is also there cuz she got relatives there, shes here for a vacation but shes still going to be our detective buddy. does she hv jurisdiction to do any of that? no. but this is ace attorney so who gaf. and of course trucy is tagging along to write an essay for her summer homework.

this game will take a closer look at the jurist/jury system, the purpose of apollo's trip here will be to study the different type of legal systems and compare them to the ones back home. phoenix's 'official' mission statement for him is to deliver the results of the jurist system to edgeworth (who obvs helped phoenix organize that whole thing), and return w a report on its viability back home.

apollo will still hv his perceive abilities but what changes up this time is that the court proceedings itself will be different. apollo will find himself needing to persuade a jury, and this is where trucy is very important, as she is a performer, and she will help apollo better understand the mind of the audience. throughout the game the two of them will grow even closer and culminate into an awesome 2-man act.

the rival prosecutor will be a bratty girl, similar to franziska but outwardly pleasant like klavier. in the last or second to last case she'll be revealed to be franziska's disciple. when apollo asks edgeworth "Why didn't you tell me this?!" he's gonna be like "hrrrmrmmm u didnt ask. 😒" edgeworth will be this game's hilariously shitty 'mentor' figure. in this trilogy apollo is just gonna be cursed with shitty 'mentors' HAHA

the game's overarching plot line will concern itself w cocoon smuggling, and will also take a look at police/interpol corruption. the final case will be when it all blows over, and will also be when we FINALLY get the sibling reveal. lamiroir will have several appearances in the game before this however, its gonna act as a bunch of stupid red herrings where we think she'll tell apollo and trucy that they're related but it'll keep being a fake out every time. itll be like

Lamiroir: Apollo, Trucy, there is something I must tell you...

Apollo and Trucy: ?

Lamiroir: .........I am touring at Berlin next week! Please do stop by if you're free, don't hesitate to call my manager to get free tickets! 😄

and this shit will happen at least 2-3 times LOL. but she'll be a witness in the last case and then we'll learn that the reason she hasnt been able to tell us is bc she was being blackmailed 😱😱😱 and klavier will be a witness too for the lulz. game will end with gramarye family FINALLYYYY reuniting itll be so touching and heartwarming sob sniffle bawl, and apollo and trucy (and klavier LOL) flying bck to japanifornia with a better understanding of legal systems and performing, with how cultural context matters greatly in both the art of performance and the employment of legal systems.

ajaa3: game starts off w phoenix as the defendant AGAIN, man finally got his badge and immediately got hit w a Murder Charge. yes he's gonna be the new maya what about it. i feel like we joke too much abt maya constantly getting arrested for murder while ignoring that phoenix has received just as many murder charges PLS..... also apollo is gonna have the funniest awkward dynamic with phoenix where phoenix doesnt want to be apollo's dad and apollo doesnt want phoenix as his dad but phoenix feels kinda obligated and apollo is like You Are My BOSS Go AWAY so yes the opening tutorial is going to be kinda silly. but thats bc the rest of the game is gonna be pretty dark..

cuz this game will concern itself greatly with the DEATH PENALTY and IMPRISONMENT, apollo's backstory will have somethinggg to do w the death penalty too idk what tho, either his former teacher / friend / foster parent / IDK was falsely accused of a crime, and apollo became an attorney in hopes of saving them before their execution. but we will only find out abt this much much later... like last 2 case later. but there'll be hints throughout.

and the fey girlies will show up!! i was thinking maybe theyll show up at the end of the first case to reprimand nick but hmmm maybe they could show up a bit later. anyways we're getting spirit channelling again FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and this time it is NOT getting fumbled. channelled spirits cant be witnesses or used as evidence bc gregory edgeworth committed perjury that one time smhhhh 😒😒😒, but we're still having them to help guide investigations cuz WHO GAF. maybe we can get a mia cameo heehee. but uh yes anyways maya and pearl will channel the spirits of executed prisoners and its gonna be extremely grim.. a large chunk, if not most, of the game will take place in a prison. at this prison are a large number of prisoners demanding retrials, or just overall officer abuse, or maybe a mix of both. either way its grim. and the fey's spirit channeling will take a closer look at evidence law, and what evidence is and isnt permissible. itll be a parallel to 4-4, which relied heavily on the not very legal mason system. something something ethics of surveillance and also solitary confinement. oh and phoenix will be fucking off setting up wright & co again + chilling with the feys, but he'll still be someone u can pop over to and ask for advice.

there'll be a lot of cameos of former male convicts (cuz this will be at a men's prison), we'll see a godot coffee machine and maybe get to talk to valant. final case will concern itself with KRISTOPH, and subsequently, klavier. bratty prosecutor from europe will also tag in cuz of course she has to, this is the fucking finale! this is also where we finally learn why apollo became a defense attorney to begin with.

ill be honest im kinda drawing at a blank here for potential ideas cuz a lot of my ideas for an ajaa trilogy ending hv been condensed into my imaginary aa4 followup. but like i cant take the ending idea from that and put it into here cuz that one is like super involved with the gavin brothers backstory. im also drawing at a blank for what big role trucy would play and also who the rival prosecutor would be. so uhhh...... 😁👍 BLANK SPACE HERE

but ESSENTIALLY i would want an ajaa trilogy to end with the death penalty + treatment of prisoners being reviewed. this is a pretty lackluster outline for a finale but thats bc most of my epic ideas are in my imaginary aa4 followup.... TOO BAD!!! ill write out the outline for that.... eventually......

WAIT LAST MINUTE ADDITION i figured out a role for trucy. now that apollo and trucy know that theyre family, the two of them will be a kinda awkward but ultimately endearing brother and sister pair. and the game will take a look at how the prison system breaks families apart. Yes. OK. ok bye

[arickaandherfictionalothers]

The rescue of Billy Hargrove and Maxine Mayfield

(Aricka x Billy, Billy Hargrove and Max Mayfield, The Munson Four (mentioned)

(CONTENT AND TRIGGER WARNING: heavy mentions of child abuse; heavy mentions of blood and injuries, Neil Hargrove is his own warning, Aricka slams a plate onto Neil’s head.)

Aricka Munson was busy doing her homework the day Billy and Max were freed from their parents’ custody. She’d been buried in her work, writing some essay she didn’t even remember about now, when she heard an ear splitting scream from the Hargrove trailer.

She didn’t hesitate- she grabbed the walkie-talkie her and her three brothers shared and pressed the button, stuttering a “code red, Hargrove trailer, HOPPER HELP-!” And ran out the door to said trailer. She didn’t even knock, she slammed the door open and stopped short at what she saw-

“BILLY-!” The eldest of the two was on his back, his father hovering over him, fist drawn back to strike. Billy’s face was bloodied and bruised, and she could see marks on his knuckles from where he tried fighting back.

Max was huddled against the wall, tears and blood trickling down her own cheeks. Aricka itched to go wrap her arms around the girl and around Billy but first she had to get Neil sidetracked.

“HEY-!” She yelled again. Neil wheeled around, anger and hatred in his cold, empty eyes. “I’m sick and tired of you being a bully and picking on innocent CHILDREN-!” She grabbed the nearest item- a plate- and slammed it into his head, it shattering to pieces as Billy rolled over to avoid the inevitable glass falling on him, shielding his head as he did. “Max, go to uncle Wayne’s and call the police, NOW-!”

Max took off, before Neil could even try running after her Aricka slid between the girl and the man. Neil legitimately growled at her, and she rolled her eyes. “You act all big and mean, but you have to beat up your own SON to feel good about yourself. It’s sickening. I pity you, Neil Hargrove.”

The man roared and ran at her, like he was about to hit her-

But a hand wrapped around his fist stopped him. Billy was suddenly standing in between Aricka and Neil; a dangerously cold glare on his face. “You. Don’t. Touch. Her.” He said, cold and full of steel. “I’m done letting you push me and Max around. The cops are on their way. I’m going to press charges. And I’m getting Max out of here.”

Neil paused momentarily, only to get over the shock of Billy fighting back, fighting for Aricka, before he got his footing back and tried to push Billy against the wall-

And then chaos erupted.

“FREEZE-! HAWKINS POLICE, PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” Aricka Billy and Neil all did as told, but Hopper only advanced on Neil. “Neil Hargrove, you’re under arrest for domestic and child abuse; physical assault and forgery.” He wrenched Neil’s hands behind his back and slapped the cuffs on.

Billy leans heavily against Aricka as they watch Neil get escorted out to the waiting police cruiser. He groans softly and she turns to face him. “You need the hospital,” she says, and it worried her slightly when he didn’t even try to argue with her. “C’mon baby, uncle Wayne can take us. I’m sure my brothers wanna see you, make sure you’re safe now. Max can meet us there.”

Billy nods, wrapped his arms around her. “Just- just stay with me, okay? I- I need you with me right now.”

Aricka kisses his sweaty forehead, “I’ll always be here for as long as you need me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the night was a grueling affair. They had to document all of Billy and Max’s injuries, take statements from everyone involved at the scene; and they had to document the cuts on Aricka’s hand from the plate breaking. (She wasn’t in any trouble because she was defending Billy.)

Billy kept a hand on her shirt, wrapped in the hemline. She kept a rhythm of petting his hair, his cheek, his hands as the doctors worked. He answers quietly, in few worded sentences, sometimes looking to Aricka for answers, and she filled in when she could. His arm was casted- he chose a blue cast the shade of the ocean- his ribs were treated with bruise cream and ice. They were currently discussing surgery dates for his nose- it had got broken as well.

Max’s wrist was sprained from when Billy pushed her away from Neil, and she was generally shaken up from the events of the night. She would go home with Aricka and Steve Harrington and Billy would go with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What felt like years later, Wayne was pulling back into the trailer park and in front of the trailer Aricka had never been more grateful to call home. She helped Billy out of the truck, kept an arm around his middle, and they walked inside together. “You sit on my bed and relax, I’ll be in after I use the bathroom,” she says softly with a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

He nods and squeezes her hand as she leaves. When she returns he was lying on his back, staring at the stars on her ceiling. “Hi baby,” she says, and carefully joins him, making sure she didn’t jostle his injuries.

He immediately- cautiously- rolled over and laid his head on her chest. “You- you- you’re here,” he whispered. She tangled her fingers in his curly hair, pressing her face into it.

“You couldn’t have made me stay away unless you asked,” she whispered back. “I love you Billy, and I’m never leaving you. I’m gonna help you through this like I’ve helped you through everything. I’m so proud of you for being so brave and telling Hopper everything. For fighting back and saving me from him-,”

“You saved me first,” he countered.

She softened. “We saved each other, then.”

He melted back against her. “Is it really over?” His voice sounded so small and soft in that moment. She rubbed his back and scratched his scalp.

“Billy Hargrove, you’re free, my love. He can never touch you or Max again.”

He hides his face in her shirt again, and she lets him. “… I love you, too,” he whispered finally. The words wrapped around her heart and squeezed and she sneakily wiped away a tear from her eye.

“I’ll always love you, Billy Hargrove.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@astralshipper @rosieshipper @hyperionshipping @yeehawselfshipping @letsgofoletsgo @tsundere-selfship @callsign-revenge