#outright abusive

[loverboy-cc]

Dies instantly (I’m bitching and moaning about irl shit)

Head in my hands….. citing a disorder as the reason for your behaviour does not make you exempt from the consequences of it. I’m (metaphorically) shaking my one roommate around by her shoulders. If you do not think you will do something you need to tell us or the cats will shit in your bed again, and when they do you the fault is no one’s but your own.

The solution to not being able to do cat litter is not playing weird ass mind games with your husband who lives on the verge of an anxiety attack because he feels like a burden so he will do it after he (with much turmoil and anxiety) asked if you’d be willing to do it once in a while when his arthritis act up and he can’t hold the scoop.

It is not just ignoring it until our cats shit under your bed then bitching about it and talking about getting rid of them

It’s telling one of us. I don’t mind doing it, I’m just too forgetful to do it all the time. But if you ask I’ll do it immediately so I don’t forget.

If you ask your husband he’ll do it too if he can and if not he’ll ask me bc somehow I have managed to form a strong positive relationship with your husband that has him actually safe enough to ask me to do things.

You literally have no responsibilities other than doing the litter once every few weeks when he can’t. You don’t pay any rent, despite always talking about how happy you are to be a housewife even though me and him do all of the housework and pay all the bills.

Your only job, is to pay off your credit card debt because in your infinite wisdom /sarc you got a card with an 8k spending limit and managed to max it in 2 months.

The solution to not having the energy to cook is not to reactivate that credit card you’re trying to pay off and spending $60 on food. Then getting upset about not having money on your credit card.

It’s asking one of us to cook, I usually can, your husband makes enough money to chip in if you need to order food, also we literally have a dedicated savings for when none of us can cook and we need to order food if we want to eat just? Use that?

The solution to not being able to put away the soup I asked you to fridge with is not pouring an entire pot of hot soup into the toilet (debatably more effort than putting the whole pot in the fridge, which had a spot cleared and everything.) then complaining when we’re short on food the next 3 days (I used the last of our shit to make a pot of soup that would’ve lasted us until we could afford groceries.)

It’s asking me to do it, I was literally in the next room pondering having another bowl before going to bed.

Also please, please tell me how in the blue fuck your bpd makes you drink my meds (one of em is a liquid I keep in the fridge. They’re not pleasant tasting and make you feel like SHIT for a while after.) They don’t even have any psychoactive properties they’re just like, prescribed nutrient shakes for when my eating disorder gets Real Bad.

[fernsnouveau]

I actually disliked the direction where I'd recently seen a bunch of the more reasonable S5-critical ML fandom people going. Those discussions and analyses were spiraling increasingly towards demonising Marinette over time, as we were left hanging with the s5 ending for a long time, and the fandom had nothing new to talk about.

I actually liked her flaws.

But then the canon does... this...

And I do admit, it's an in-character way to push Marinette towards a villain arc. Like, if I had to construct a darkfic scenario where Marinette goes evil and try to keep it as close to her canon personality as possible, it would look something like this. Which, I guess, means that it's theoretically easier for me to accept than, for example, S5's occasional incidents of Edgy Murderboy Chat Noir (how is that the same character who had TWO guilt-based mental breakdowns about accidentally cataclysming someone completely out of his control, including the main villain??!). I'm sure there are in-character ways to turn Adrien (or anyone else) into a villain, but Murder-Noir was Not It.

Of course another reason why the writing of Murder-Noir gives me extra heebie jeebies, was how it felt like an abuse apologia excuse, validating Gabriel's accusations for Adrien to not "deserve" autonomy, nor to experience or express any negative, inconvenient emotions. Murder-Noir feels like it's a writing choice directed at child abuse victims in the audience, who related to Adrien. "See, your abuser was right, you're horrible and overly emotional and out of control, so you NEED to be rigidly controlled for your own and everyone else's good!

Anyway.

While I admit that Marinette taking up Gabriel's mantle this way is technically in character, I cannot claim to enjoy the writing choice at all. I liked Marinette's flaws. I wanted to explore them. I did not want her demonised to this extent. She could have been meaningfully flawed without becoming better at being Gabriel, than Gabriel himself was!

After this, the only justification for the lovesquare to stay together, would be as a wish-fulfillment or "reward" for Marinette, and that's not enough for me. When I think about, if there was a real-life abuse victim in Adrien's position (minus the supernatural elements), and then they were friends with, and/orstarted dating someone who repeatedly treated them the way Maribug has been doing (and "repeatedly" is important here, it demonstrates unwillingness to learn from mistakes and be sincere about apologies – S4 was brushed under a rug as soon as Chat Noir superficially forgave!), ESPECIALLY but not only siding with the abusive parent and lying to the victim that the abuse they experienced was "not really abuse" and For Their Own Good, and demonstrated this complete infantilisation and lack of respect for the abuse victim, wanting to see them only as a palatable, innocent fairytale being who's not allowed to be inconvenient, express negative emotions, make informed choices mor generally be a complete person...

Obviously the right thing to do, for the abuse victim, would be to get the hell away from that person.

It does NOT mean that the person is irredeemable. They're just... not owed the abuse victim's forgiveness and continued presence in their life.

And I can't ignore that anymore.

We failed to get an arc about Adrien surviving and escaping Gabriel and healing. He has now been put into a position where, in order to ever be okay, he would have to survive and escape Marinette in order to heal.

I don't like this. It feels very hopeless and bleak and unenjoyable. I don't even think the story is gonna go there and free/heal Adrien (Astruc made it clear that Adrien isn't supposed to be his own character or have agency, he's supposed to be Marinette's accessory and that's never gonna change).

But as far as I'm concerned, any excuse for the lovesquare relationship to get back together after this, would have the unpalatable aftertaste of propaganda to make victims return to their abusers.

I don't like this trajectory!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

The first mistake I see people make is assuming there are completely "nonviolent" ways to be transphobic. It seems like some people conceptualize transphobia as being either violent (which is always physical in some way) or nonviolent (which is "simple" emotional, verbal, or psychological abuse)

It seems, also, that people presume that when somebody has "noble" intentions for their transphobia - "I'm trying to save you!" for instance - it is suddenly nonviolent. Consider, though, how a transphobe would "save" a trans person. Would they allow that person to exist unadulterated (including being able to transition), or would they prefer to put them through conversion therapy, or revoke their access to bodily autonomy, or force them to have children, or anything that will prevent them from transition or even identifying as trans or otherwise tying them down with the obligations that prevent transition or identifying as trans?

There is no true "nonviolent" way to be transphobic because being transphobic relies on denying one the ability to autonomy and personhood. Fundamentally, even the transphobes who "want to save us" only do so in their own self-interest to save them from the horror of knowing that more people than they are alive and thriving.

[andiv3r]

The people getting mad that I ship stancest but not billford confuse me. One of these is worse*, sure, but it ain't stancest.

*Worse as in "would be more unhealthy if they were real", not worse as in "bad to ship".

[hey-heigo]

enough of 'this character is an asshole because their parents are abusive!!' we need to stop pushing the idea that abusive parents are the only asshole-making trauma that exist. sometimes the trauma can be from a grief or loss that changes you deeply, to the point where everything else stops looking like it's worth being treasured. sometimes the rudeness can be from being so jaded at a world that keeps kicking you when you're down, to the point that it's either fight back or just take it. sometimes the parents aren't outright cruel or abusive but divorced,

[daeneryscel]

“alicent making homophobic remarks the night of laena’s funeral isn’t cool considering laenor was shown to be heavily grieving his sister and didn’t deserve to be attacked during it (not to mention it was an obvious ploy on alicent’s part to divert attention from her committing literal treason).”

“b-bUT WHAT ABOUT DAEMON AND RHAENYRA FUCKING-“

i’m not gonna lie i don’t particularly care that they had sex that night. was it disrespectful? for sure. did it harm anyone for them to do it? it, in fact, did not. two consenting adults having sex away from prying eyes and keeping to themselves < an entitled boy purposely calling a girl at her mother’s funeral (whom he had never interacted with before) a pig and ridiculing her grief. laena’s storyline was cut short because the writers decided she wasn’t important enough to make into a proper character that isn’t at the mercy of other characters (it’s something i’m forever going to be salty about, daemon and rhaenyra loved her with all their hearts and were absolutely devastated when she passed) but out of those two scenarios who do you think she would be more upset with?

the people who bring this up in retaliation cannot handle alicent taking any criticism whatsoever. in all honesty i wouldn’t even care if her fans would just say ‘yeah, it was shitty. don’t really care though.’ it would at least save me the time of reading think piece after think piece on why alicent deserved to get her lick back against rhaenyra for her lot in life (caused by otto and viserys) by focusing on her pain rather than her son’s. these are the same people who try to claim that most of rhaenyra’s children and step children secretly hate her, due to wanting ‘complex and nuanced relationships’ to occur (they actually also can’t handle that rhaenyra was a great mom all around to all of her kids, and that maybe they need to be focusing those feelings on the green kids with their parents instead). let’s be serious for just one moment: it makes more sense that the children who were neglected by one parent and abused by the other having complicated familial feelings than children who were (for the most part) raised in a relatively stable and loving environment.

[dynamitekansai]

wwe: Sami Zayn saved Roman Reigns, Jey and Jimmy Uso from a post match brawl… but tonight was not the way any of them wanted this to go. 😮‍💨👎

[agnesandhilda]

while I'm talking about this topic it's so fucked up that "teenagers hate their parents for no real reason" is such a prevalent cultural narrative

[himehomu]

Homura did nothing wrong. And I stand by that. Because, she didn't do anything wrong towards anyone nor did she do anything with malicious intent. The only thing she did wrong is entirely in regards to herself. Rather than basing Homura's entire character around an act she made out of love or reduce her character to an evildoer with no morals nor love in her heart like some people still do to this day under the poor facade of “valid criticism,” I'm going to explain what Homura actually did wrong in Rebellion and her what her act of selfishness actually was.

What Homura did wrong was condemn herself to suffering as an immortal deity, the Devil whom acts as a rebellion against God, The Law of Cycles, strict laws of the original universe, which included Madoka Kaname not existing. That is what she did wrong, but not in the black and white, Good-vs-Evil way most people interpret this as. Yes, they are meant to be enemies one day, but because God favors rules and always doing the right thing, whereas the Devil favors her desire to stay in a world where Madoka is happy, where her friends are happy, where they are safe and have a chance at a life. A desire for happiness vs maintaining order of a broken world for the greater good, even if maintaining order means making sacrifices and making hard choices that directly rebel against that desire and yearning for happiness.

But, here is why Homura is wrong in dooming herself to her fate as the Devil. It's very subtle, but seconds before the Flower Field scene, as they are walking, Madoka turns and tells Homura that it really hurts her seeing her in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it. This may seem like a simple thing a friend would say, but remember that Madoka lost her memories as a goddess. And, as a goddess, she was stuck alone in Heaven having to watch life go by, Homura's life go by, and wasn't able to interfere. Think about that for a second. Think about being Madokami.

Think about when she could finally understand just how much Homura did for her, just how much Homura fought for her in all those time loops; the moment she's able to reciprocate her feelings, she fades from existence as the consequence. Wanting so badly to comfort Homura as she bears the psychological burden of being the only person to remember her, to know her, to miss her, to grieve and mourn her. Thinking the only time she’ll ever be able to see let alone talk to Homura again is when she’s essentially dying from all the grief, the pain, the guilt, the sadness of not being able to save her from her fate of being a goddess trapped in isolation. Think about that, then look at what she says here again. Of course it hurts Madoka seeing Homura hurting so badly and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Because that's what she's been doing as The Law of Cycles. Much like how she said she'd never make the decision to become a Goddess in the first place a few seconds later, she says this because this is the real Madoka who loves and cherishes Homura, who hates to see her hurt.

Take that into consideration when looking at what Homura turns herself into at the end of Rebellion, how she's suffering and you can see the exhaustion on her face and in her eyes, how you can see the immortality essentially sucking the humanity out of her to the point where she herself believes she is evil. This was never about Good vs. Evil. This is about Homura hating herself so much not only for being unable to save Madoka, but possibly even for loving her in the first place considering her love is what made her powerful enough to condemn herself to her fate as a Goddess trapped in Heaven with her wish. This is about Madoka hating herself so much to where she only deems herself worthy so long as she's helping others, her self-loathing making her reduce herself to a sacrificial lamb and throwing away her life for the better of everyone else, caring so little for herself and being unable to even fathom that she'd be mourned or grieved if she were to die, thus sacrificing herself over and over, seeing herself as a means to an end if it means freedom for everyone she loves. Madoka has always been there to comfort Homura and protect her since the first timeline. How can she do that if her memories and powers to do so are locked away? She can't. Because Homura doesn't believe she deserves Madoka's love.

Homura doesn't believe she's worth Madoka's sacrifice in becoming a God and Madoka doesn't believe she's worth Homura's sacrifice in becoming the Devil. Madoka cannot understand that she is so so much more than what she can give to other people whilst Homura is the only one that does. Homura can't understand that dooming herself to immortality pains and hurts Madoka because she can't do anything about it thus she can't save her from her suffering like how Homura ceased her suffering. It's a cycle. A snake eating it's own tail. A pumpkin that spins round and round and round. They're both selfish and they're both selfless. Homura is selfish in the sense that she's not taking into consideration how Madoka would feel if she knew how much she were suffering as the Devil for her sake yet she is being selfless because she's only suffering as the Devil for Madoka and her family and their friends to have a happy life. Madoka is selfish in the same sense that she's not taking into consideration just how psychologically damaging it is for Homura to not only have to watch her die over and over again throughout 100 timelines but to then erase herself from existence with Homura being the only one to remember her and she is selfless by of course only sacrificing herself so much because she cares for everyone and all Magical Girls, Homura especially included. They both love each other enough to sacrifice themselves for the other but they both hate themselves so much to where they believe they are undeserving of the other's love hence they keep dooming themselves to suffering in isolation and in turn dooming each other.

[luniviravosshipper]

POV: You’re sad and wanting comfort but the character you’d usually find comfort in was deemed unlikabled and totally undeserving of love by the narrative. So instead of feeling comfort thinking of that character now you just feel even worse. Because every time you try to immerse yourself back into the story they came from you have to constantly be reminded by it that they never got to receive any sort of affection and the story wanted the audience to know the reason was because it never felt they deserved any. Even when intentionally making them sympathetic at moments, at the end it’s clear that they were always planning on kicking the dog with them.

[musclesandhammering]

Now that everyone’s moved on from Supernatural, I think it’s a perfect time to remember that- whether you interpret the confession scene as romantic or not on Castiel’s part- it was absolutely not romantic for Dean.

He doesn’t have feelings for Cas, he’s not interested in guys, and Cas just wasn’t as important to him as he was to Cas.

So ship what you want I guess, but don’t extrapolate and call it canon.

[fun-k-boards]

Odysseus - was literally raped twice but gets it erased in ''feminist' retellings' and also video games for some reason.

[spiralsandeyes]

jude perry....

[mxtxfanatic]

I need people to realize that any care shown by JC does not somehow wash away his shittiness. It's the equivalent of telling a battered woman her husband obviously cares and loves her because he kisses her on the way out the door (never mind her face is black and blue). If an abuser makes a nice gesture, he's still an abuser. 🤷🏽‍♀️

People excuse child abuse in a way they wouldn’t domestic abuse* because they do not see children as full people. Jiang Cheng smacking Jin Ling around is a hard line only for some readers, but quite a few others would feel perfectly alright with marking Jiang Cheng as a great guardian if the physical abuse never occurred, even as we watch him verbally and emotionally abuse Jin Ling before the first hit lands in canon. Just watch how they downplay Jiang Cheng’s abuse of Wei Wuxian because it’s “just words” that they can brush off. “All bark and no bite” they call him, ignoring how those words clearly make Wei Wuxian never want to be around Jiang Cheng again. “All bark and no bite” they call him, despite the fact that Jin Ling constantly runs away from Jiang Cheng because of those words. Idk, sounds like the bark comes with a lot of bite.

*people will only admonish domestic abuse in hypothetical situations, cause if people actually cared about physical violence between partners, it would not be socially acceptable to discuss the ways in which people “acceptably” physically abuse their partners to “keep them in line,” much like how people discuss children. This is a gender- and sexuality-neutral observation.

[moondharse]

Looking back at the "severe" social anxiety diagnosis I got as a teen ..

It's like, if I went to a therapist and said: "I do not like being stabbed with knives. I do activly avoid situations that involve me being stabbed with knives. When I have to face a situation where I can expect to be stabbed with knives, I dread it and can sometimes not bring myself to pull through, no matter how much I want to reap the benefit I am after, that requires the situation."

And the therapist went: "Oh, so you're irrationally afraid of people. Got it."

[omtai]

was telling my coworker about my annoying fucking coworker about how when i’m doing orders he’ll just abandon his job and follow me around and follow me back to the kiosk. and she says no way he could be that annoying that’s too much. and i kid you not five minutes later i’m doing an order. he abandons his job. follows me around. and follows me back to the kiosk. It didn’t even feel good to say i told you so