#outlet tied

[owlets-outlet]

i completely understand why people were put off by the first episode of dandadan, but the more i watch, the more i feel like this anime truly understands womanhood.

[fishareglorious]

wonder if we're ever gonna get an event/moment/flashback dedicated to the storm that involved people's veins turning into wires. that's one of the mighty fucked up storm syndromes around and i do kinda wish we'll see someone's POV of it

[workplacecomedian]

graaaAAA desperately need to draw this but [insert excuses] so i'm just writing this out for now to satisfy the monkey in the braincage

Far Flung AU, where Martin does indeed land Somewhere Else, but during their fall he's just become a blended smoothie of fear power, unable to identify as truly human nor avatar. This is wholly an excuse to let Martin go overpowered bonkers off the wall in the Protocol universe with many pinches of edgy and angst and next to no regard for canon as i'm not made for writing :] various rambling details on Martin's powers and whatnot below

in regards to powers, he's mostly an amalgamation of the Lonely, the Web, and the Eye, of course. again with the whole 'fear smoothie' role the specifics are a bit lost.

his form can have a bit of an afterimage, like someone playing a video or animation twice. like if he waves his arm, theres a second arm following the same motion. this is usually easily hidden when in public (especially since he can just will himself to be unnoticeable) but it can also flare up, intentionally or not. when this happens, the afterimage appears more inhuman, kind of gangly. at its peak, the second limbs can manipulate physical objects, but still make a habit of following the other limbs around. his face becomes disorienting- both for him to manipulate and whichever unlucky soul is looking at him to stare at. and, of course, this means sometimes he may get extra eyes that linger around longer than they should. this is a pretty solid mix of the three fears

speaking of eyes, he's able to...well. i wouldn't call it Knowing, but something close to it, and those afterimage eyes appearing are a telltale sign he's getting extremely vague information beamed into his brain. while he certainly helped serve Beholding, he also helped end its reign of terror, so any 'help' from it isn't super useful and isn't often, not unless it can serve the Eye in some way.

sticks to walls like spiderman. because i said so :] it's actually more, uh...spider friends sticking him to the wall, probably? not as crazy powerful as actual spiderman (spidermen?) but it's a fun power to imagine him having. watching from the building walls Ominously

he can drop into the Lonely/his domain at will, and i do mean 'drop' literally. bc again its funny and would look cool. im right <3

he can lock into people's memories, or like....make people become lost in thought, kind of? like when you get stuck daydreaming, in a way...still thinking on this one

design wise (admittedly most of this also works as my general headcanons too):

listen to me carefully. one side of his glasses is in decent shape; that side is where the afterimage eyes appear. the other side has a crack in them. its in an asymmetrical X shape, with three more lines around the center, like the world's shittiest web. when hes feeling A Lot, those eyes glow like sunset. blood redorange. pair it with the fog, and its like a really creepy version of a sunset through a densely foggy forest. do u see my vision. martin apparently doesn't, with those fucked up glasses. i think a chunk of panopticon debri smacked his forehead on the side with the cracked glass; give homie a fun little forehead/eyebrow scar. oh AND AND again when he's feeling Many Things, the crack in the glasses follows where he looks, to keep up the scattered light rays (dream logic and what have you!)

when martin worked with peter, peter would put his hand on the back of martin's neck in that way thats supposed to be friendly and comforting, but in hindsight just felt disgustingly controlling to martin. that spot- at the bottom of his hair, around his neck- is where i think the white hair would appear. when he has a hood up and he's feeling foggy, it turns into a kind of creepy mimicry of fuzzy/furry hoods, blocking his eyes (except for when they glow >:) (bonus: he gained a nervous tick of rubbing the back of his neck, after he first left the Lonely :)

and one more ability i think Martin would/could have, both in this AU and in (head)canon:

i have a very vivid idea of Martin being able to manipulate his domain for travel (and his domain is a foggy damp forest but that's besides the point). as in, in an emergency he can pop himself halfway into the Lonely and time is slightly slowed, but he has to be careful of where he does so- if there's a physical obstruction in his path on the physical plane and he doesn't clear that space in his domain, there's Consequences. like getting half buried in whatever material he just failed to walk through! actually i just remembered i wrote something out for this in a friend's dm...and since we're already waist deep in rambling:

Mr archivist took a hit on the leg, only half awake, maybe theyre running from like. Vampires or something bc its so funny vampires exist but are NEVER returned to. So martin is helping him with an arm wrapped around him, but their route gets blocked off. As they run up to a deadend wall, jon "politely" reminds him of such, but martin just yell-asks him how thick the wall is and tosses him over his shoulder. Eye does its thing and jon responds automatically as martin gains speed, busting into the lonely just before they run face first into brick, and its suddenly dead quiet in there, besides martin panting as he counts his running steps, and as they exit the fog he reacts like he just got gut punched and winded but keeps trying to run, footsteps leaving little foggy prints.. it buys them only a little time, but the disconnect from the eye or something shakes jon awake enough. Martin maybe pulls the foggy trick one or two more times to avoid the vampires coming back up to flank them, but it drains him each time, and at that point he tells jon hes gonna need some help, barely able to jog now in his stupor, and as he runs jon sits up against martins shoulder (or 'sits up' as best he can in that position) and gets to do his whole ceaseless watcher baloney and. Idk. I loved the visuals of someone on a motorcycle while their partner is on their lap shooting at pursuers behind them. Cursed and fucked up and evil version of that with martin running out of the fog and jon pulling a fun little pointing pose in martins grip as he curses the shit outta their own pursuers

anyway ty for indulging my rambling <3 have a nice day

[ill-cypher]

Oh man, I feel you on the Medstar books. And I, too, love to work them into my fics as often as possible. That and The Approaching Storm for good measure. It's also important that she was at Umbara.

Now that I finished the Medstar books later night, I just borrowed The Approaching Storm and plan on digging in to it!

I've been wanting to weave in the Umbaran Campaign into my story in some way beyond a simple mention, but I'm kind of stuck with no ideas on it rn unfortunately.

I wouldn't be surprised if they retcon it completely, but I also want to add her imprisonment on Felucia and subsequent rescue by Aayla shortly after her Knighting (since it's still considered to be canon in some way?). Of course the Legends story of it doesn't match with canon in any significant way so I would make major changes to it so it could fit into the timeline properly, but I feel like it could be a major turning point for her mentally—like the final nail in the coffin (or close to it) leading up to the Temple plot.

I have a lot of ideas and I really want to start writing it out, but at the same time I'm overly worried about characterization and it's completely stopping any progress. I really want to talk through my ideas before I work on it, but I don't really know anyone to talk to here other than my friend (who I assume would be willing to listen but she doesn't really know Barriss beyond looking over my shoulder while I was crying over TOTE).

Idk it's just super important to me that I do it well bc I love her character so much and I want to do right by her especially when she is so misunderstood

[im-sorry-what-ii]

Currently being so emotional over Mav and pink floyds Learning to fly

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

After 2 years of struggling through my laptop has died and I'm really sad 😭😭 having to borrow mum's chromebook until I can afford a new setup and I hate it, I'm literally so annoyed and fed up and I miss my laptop already rip 😭😭

[shallowrambles]

ANNEMARIE: Yeah. I thought so, too. Seeing you take on Matt, I was like, “wow”" no one's ever done that for me before. But then you kept going and going, and I realized whatever is going on with you has nothing to do with my “honor” at all.

(10x01)

The name means, "favored grace, rebellious lover." Annemarie is a window into Dean wanting to (yet again) run away from everything, from Sam, from Crowley, from work. From his chronic feelings of rejection. From feeling things, from living in the real world with obligations and responsibilities.

Annemarie calls Dean on beating the person who was wronging her (Matt), a la how Dean called Cas out re:taking on Raphael. Because, like Godstiel, Demon Dean kept going beyond defending honor, beyond protectorship.

Demon Dean is a treatise to the loss of free will through disinhibition, yes, but it's also Dean acting out everything that was ever done to him. There's pent-up rage and rejection tied up with all of it.

It's the specter of "I did all of it for you!" which only sounds romantic, only sounds honorable...but Cas kept going, slaughtered the angels en masse. Because it was really about Cas's beef with his brother Raphael and his family and his issues. Just like in SPNWIN Mary called out John on using Mary as an excuse for her issues.

Anyhoo, we stan Annemarie. She is "human Dean."

She walked out of there thinking she deserved that.

[selfspinninglies]

I keep thinking about it so I'm just gonna make a post ig . Anyway alex hates his hair so fucking much he wants to get it cut sooo bad but he's scared that he might get found out [idk if this was mentioned before but he's in the closet it's basically a part of him now] . He knows it's kind of irrational but just in case + It's been like that for most of his life so he's used to it but he still hates it . A big part of his character is that he hates change and underneath all of his misdirected anger he is still a very scared and emotional person and this ties into that a little [also why he dresses in a very boring manner with clothes he doesn't even like, he doesn't want to stand out + he's been doing that forever]. He'll have to learn to confront this eventually but when he tries it just fucks him up more which is part of his terrible spiral because he starts to realize things about himself that he doesn't like and is inevitably scared of no matter how much he tries to cover it up with anger uagh I'm so ill about him fuc

[heckaroniandcheese]

uh oh i just remembered my living situation is currently terrible

[hyukassubi]

Changing up my theme and reached 50 followers, today's a great day

^^me not posting fics for months thinking I did something outstanding to the human race 🫶😁

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Going to preface this by saying I love Tailor Astarion, these are just some thoughts I'm having tonight

I don't think Astarion would be able to make garments, beyond eying something he owns and replicating it. I think embroidery served a purpose and it was an outlet that took up minimal space, plus easier to store in a chest. The room the...less favored Spawn share isn't that large. It would just feel smaller as more spawn were introduced to their corner of hell.

It's also one of those cases where I'm not certain if he would genuinely enjoy the craft or not, since it less seems a skill developed with love and more like a necessary skill. It doesn't seem he cares as much for it if he's adventuring (based on his doublet having paint instead of embroidery at the epilogue party), but that also checks out for needing a break from something you did that you enjoyed while in a traumatic situation bc it reminds you of that trauma when you try to get back to it.

But he absolutely knows he is not your guy for anything complicated but would want to pull an Emperor's New Clothes situation for anyone who tried to make him do work for them

[megandzane]

At this point I really question anyone who goes to the British media, then is upset they were grossly misquoted

[panb1mbo]

gear shift? no sir that is my hair tie holder

[tired-twink]

what was your url before?? i dont remember following you

idk ive had this blog since like 2017-2018 (deleted my first ones from 2013 unfortunately, sigh) and its changed urls a lot, then i took a break for a while, now im back LOL

[emblemxeno]

Beyonce’s whole discography is amazing but I feel that, while her first three albums have timeless classics, her fourth album really was the start of her true breathtaking musical artistry.

Then after that she released Self-titled, Lemonade, and Renaissance??? Absolutely legendary album streak if I’ve ever seen one

[11kaki-11]

11.22.2024

Still job searching as usual, now I'm being forced to fill out 10 job applications online or I'll be subject to more physical punishment such as being tied both arms and legs with a lasso and whipped at the same time... She still continues to job shame me through phone calls with her friends and said having a part time is basically living out on the streets and being starved to death...

Thinking about it scares me and I want to just be locked away somewhere to where she can't emotionally hurt me or other thoughts that she assume it's just being emotions and put physical punishment on me or tell me to live on streets.

She continues to blame for her health and medical shame me if she develops diabetes and say it's my fault for her developing medical diabetes... If I say anything I get hit, if I stayed quiet I get the same results.... I just can't get through any reason with her to not get physically hit be her hands...

I don't have any friends in my area that I can room with since I wasn't allowed to have any IRL friends to speak with or hang out... She pretty much control most of physical social life I have due to her interference with most of my life.... I hope that the jobs I applied for full time might be able to reach back and accepted me for the full time position..

Having this blog with these entries has become helpful to me in terms of expressing my feelings that my own family can't understand about my thoughts...