#out here trying to save sapphic shows left and right

[infinityinakiss]

everybody wake up, its time to make sure another show doesn't get cancelled!

if you're like me, you're tired of watching all of your favorite shows get cancelled after 1 or 2 seasons, and you're ready to start burning down streaming services to get your new favorite show renewed.

you don't have to do that, but this is what you can do:

all anyone cares about in the streaming industry is numbers. so we need to make sure to keep those numbers high. rewatch the show as much as you can. you can have it playing on the background, on as many devices you can.

no skipping around, you need to watch the episodes from beginning to end, and you need to watch all the episodes in the season.

go onto other profiles and stream it there. ask your friends to stream it, even if it's not their type of show, they can just have it playing in the background. every time you rewatch a show, it counts less and less in the numbers, so the first 2 rewatches are the most impactful.

when you're streaming it, you unfortunately do need the sound on, or it doesn't count. but it can be very low. (this is at least true for netflix, i'm not sure about other services. i don't know, people smarter than me figured it out.)

make as much noise as you can. show them that you love this show and you're willing to fight for it. on any social media apps, twitter (or whatever the fuck its called now), instagram, tiktok. sadly, these people don't really listen to tumblr, so you do have to go to other social media apps.

[sytoran]

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟎𝟏𝟐 — 𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐌

kinktober day 012 | agent!peggy x lieutenant!reader

you're eating your wife out under her office desk as she speaks to - or least, attempts to speak to - her military soldiers. tinged with the angst of a classic 1940s 'forbidden' sapphic romance.

cont. office sex, fingering, edging, angst (what a combo) word count. 2065

kinktober masterlist || main masterlist

“Oh, babe, m’so close,” Peggy gasps in pleasure, gripping onto the handles of her arm chair, as your fingers curl inside her pretty cunt.

“Almost there already?” you tease, mouthing at her pretty breasts and leaving light marks with your teeth. “I haven’t even been here that long, Agent Carter.”

“Enough with the Agent Car- Oh, just shut up and fuck me properly,” she responds exasperatedly, hands twisting into the navy green of your military uniform. You move your fingers in tight little circles, smirking as she throws her head back.

These forbidden little trysts that always ended up in Peggy’s office fed into every one of your desires and fantasies. As much as the element of ‘forbidden’ excited you to no end, there was always this sick little want in your mind to show Peggy off, show everyone how good you made her feel, show everyone that you were the only person who could make her feel like this.

Today is no different, the both of you in Peggy’s office. You had purposefully left the door closed but unlocked, only with the woman’s reluctant agreement. That thought in itself, that any of her soldiers could see her unravelling like this — that thought made you so, so wet.

When Peggy brings her hands up your shirt to palm at your tensed abdomen, you feel a surge of arousal, and it causes you to slam the back of her chair against her office desk with need. Peggy whines beautifully as you tower over her with purpose, hands wrapping around her pretty neck to kiss her.

You get lost in the haze of lust, only registering Peggy’s stifled moans and those pathetic whimpers, only registering her warmth and wetness clenching needily around your fingers.

“Coming!” Peggy cries out, and just as you’re about to push your fingers once more against her sweet spot, there’s a knock on the door.

“Agent Carter, it’s important,” a gruff male voice sounds from behind the door.

You halt your movements, eyes locking with the brunette, fingers stilling themselves inside her cunt.

You don’t miss the way Peggy’s eyes dart to the door in fear, her breath hitching, but her hips still trying to chase that pleasure.

It excites you.

“You have to go,” Peggy squirms under your grasp that holds her still. “We can’t be seen-”

“You want me to jump out the window of the sixth floor?” you ask seriously, helping to button up her blouse. She looks so pretty, with her face flushed and her lipstick smeared. You swipe a thumb along the bottom of her lip to clean it up, and Peggy looks at you pleadingly.

“Agent Carter, it’s the 107th Infantry Regiment here to see you.”

With a determined huff, Peggy lifts up a leg and promptly kicks you under her desk, the heel getting you in the side. “Come in,” she says loudly, glaring at you as your face screws up in pain.

Eyes narrowing at her brattiness, you reach up from under the desk and pull off the entirety of Peggy’s grey skirt in one fluid motion just as the door swings open, leaving her completely bare and vulnerable from the waist down. Her panties were still in your pocket, saved for further use.

Peggy lets out a strangled sound of frustration mixed with pleasure as she rolls her armchair into place, hiding her nudity from view of the entering soldiers. This means that you’re face-level with her bare, glistening cunt, and it doesn’t take a genius to find out what you’d do with that.

“Agent,” the soldiers chorus as you make yourself comfortable under the table. You’re seated cross-legged, gripping at Peggy’s thighs, mouth dangerously close to her throbbing cunt.

“R-Right, this better be important,” Peggy begins, clearing her throat and trying to regain her composure. Her hands are clammy, nails digging into her palms in an attempt to calm her growing arousal.

Your hot breath is on her wetness, unbelievably simulating, and your presence under her desk while her soldiers were in the same room was electrifying.

“It is,” that same gruff voice sounds, and you recognize it as Bucky Barnes. He was a bit too arrogant for your liking, and you detested the way he looked at Peggy sometimes. 

She was yours.

Your hands slide up the length of Peggy’s bare legs, dragging goosebumps along with the gentle touch, then grabbing fistfuls of the sides of her ass.

Peggy jerks in her seat, and you can imagine her sinking her teeth into her bottom lip.

“Is something the matter, ma’am?” another voice asks. It’s Steve Rogers, Mr. Captain America. You feel another round of jealousy coursing through your bloodstream. It was no secret around camp that he had a puppy love for your lady.

You wrap your bulky, muscled arms around her big thighs, forcefully prying them apart as your tongue pushes into the slit of her leaking pussy. Peggy was already sensitive from before, and the sensation of your long tongue entering her cunt made Peggy let out a disguised moan. 

“I- oh, I- I think that I’m just a bit unwell today,” the agent says with a quavering voice, forcing a polite smile onto her face in an attempt to hide the pleasured expression that fights its way there.

“Sorry to hear that, Agent Carter,” Steve offers sympathetically. “We’ll make this quick. We've got new intel on the Red Skull and we think he's a more dangerous threat than we initially envisioned."

When you start dragging your tongue up and down in long stripes, teasing at Peggy’s entrance but not truly letting her experience a high, she knows that her squelching sounds would be embarrassingly loud if she didn’t do something. 

Peggy reaches for the remote and turns up the Stark-sponsored fan to its highest setting. The loud whirring sound creates more noise, and you gladly take the opportunity to dive into her cunt, tongue lapping fervently at the wet heat like you were worshipping a sacred temple.

“I’m just – oh, Christ – have a – mhm, bit of a fever going,” Peggy says brokenly, fanning at herself with an awkward chuckle. She’s screaming internally, your mouth buried in her pussy like you would nest in there forever.

"Right,” Bucky says with a raised eyebrow. “So we thought we might need more backup before our infiltration into the HYDRA base. The senior-rank soldiers, Agent Carter, if you could allow us that permission."

Peggy nods, the words going in one ear and flying out the other. Your fingers are in action now, as well, 

"We know that it's a last-minute change,” another soldier says, and Peggy looks in his general direction but she can’t even focus on how he looks like to recognise him. Her vision is swimming, her thoughts are dizzying.

The centre of her universe was you.

She was so close. So, so close.

But you leave her hanging there, at the edge of a precipice, between inexplicable pleasure and unrecoverable shame.

Peggy almost sobs.

"Changes like that have to be made in the face of all possible scenarios,” Peggy says, clamping her thighs around your head. It helps fractionally with the overwhelming arousal, and the agent desperately seizes that small chance. “I appreciate you all coming to me with this information. It should take a bit of paperwork to settle but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Agent Carter,” Steve says sincerely, and you roll your eyes under the desk at the stupid smile you can hear in his voice. She was yours. You push your fingers in a little deeper.

Fuck, Peggy needs it. Needs to release all that pent-up arousal.

"Oh, Agent Carter, have you seen Lieutenant L/N? We want to ask her about the added arms and ammunition," you hear Bucky ask, and you almost snort into Peggy’s dripping cunt.

"No, I don't suppose I've seen her around,” Peggy forces out, trying to subtly grind her hips against your face. She’s that desperate, that needy for the pleasure you’re dangling in front of her. 

You’d been edging her, controlling her pleasure like you were a puppeteer and she was your marionette. 

She needs it. She needs it or she’s going to die.

"Is that all?"

“Yes, Ma’am,” Bucky answers, and following his lead are the rest of the soldiers who leave Peggy’s office in an orderly manner.

Your two fingers curl in the glory of her dampened cunt, tongue still lapping at the flowing nectar that tastes like honey to your lips.

Finally, Peggy cries internally. Finally, she can get her sought-after release—

"Peggy," Steve begins desperately, putting his hands on the edge of the desk you’re sitting under. He’d hung around while the others had filed out, clearly wanting to speak to the agent.

Oh, fuck no.

Peggy wants to cry in frustration at her prolonged denial of pleasure, and you fume in deadly silence. How dare he address her by her first name, with more fondness than a close friend. How dare he think he’s good enough for your Peggy–

"About that dance I asked you to-" Steve continues, none the wiser to the raging conflict going on beneath the surface.

Your fingers thrust deep into Peggy’s sweet spot, and a lewd squelch sounds, and it takes everything in her willpower not to cry out your name. Steve is too flustered to notice, and Peggy thanks the heavens for his oblivious nature.

"I'm not–, in- oh, interested, Rogers. Exit my office now.”

By the grace of some God, Steve takes ‘no’ as an answer. The dejected man hangs his head, turning around in resolution. Peggy’s vision is blurring, not because she feels for Rogers, but because the amount of pleasure you’re filling her to the brim with.

She can feel you, gripping the flesh of her thighs and leaving dark fingerprints, your tongue ever so languidly tracing the outline of her dripping hole, just waiting for the opportune moment like a predator about to pounce on its prey.

The door’s barely clicked shut before you’re making the most carnal noises into Peggy’s cunt, tongue diving deeper than what she thought was physically possible. “Oh, mhmm, fuck!” she cries, head thrown back as she weaves her fingers into your hair.

“You have no idea,” you growl, throwing both of Peggy’s legs over your shoulders to give you better access. “No fuckin’ idea how much I wanted to make you cum in front of that good-for-nothin’. Make him see you become such a fucking slut for me.”

Peggy mewls, practically humping your face, so insanely desperate for you to make her feel good. She can’t differentiate your rough hands or your long tongue, stimulating her across her whole body, like a raging fire has been ignited and it can’t be doused.

“Please,” Peggy pants, one of her hands going to grip the top of her armchair, trying to reach a semblance of non-existent control. “Oh,” she moans, husky and low, when your nose bumps against her enlarged clit. You proceed to do it repeatedly, and Peggy’s frighteningly close to passing out from sheer pleasure.

“Say you’re mine,” you whisper, almost unheard. 

Peggy hears the desperation in your voice. Like she’s not the only one who’d die without your touch. Like she’s more than just a simple game of cat-and-mouse. Like you’re not the forsaken lovers who’ll go down in the history books as ‘best friends’.

Like the two of you could ever be something more.

But it doesn’t matter, not now when she’s crying for your touch, and not ever.

“I’m yours,” Peggy answers, with more resolution in her voice than any military call, with more steadfastness in her voice than she would ever care to admit. It’s a promise, a sacred one, and with that the two of you were bound.

All it takes is a harsh curl of your fingers into Peggy’s sweet spot that has her coming undone, ropes and seals unwinding for the maker that is you. 

Wave after wave of pleasure rolls over Peggy’s body, white-hot liquid making its way into the crooks and crevices of your face Peggy found her religion in.

The look that passes between the two of you as Peggy finally topples over the ledge is unsaid. It doesn’t need to be said. It can’t be said.

I’m with you till the end of the line.

"in the crooks of your body, i find my religon." -sappho

how was the characterization of peggy? it's my first time writing for her, and it was pretty interesting as compared to writing for natasha and wanda. i mean, peggy's speech is generally more refined, and i would think she would be more prudish about sex in general. (my personal opinion, i've never watched her series)

kinktober masterlist || main masterlist

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer horror, part 1

We all like a good horror story, right? You know what's even better? A queer horror story!

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean “guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending”, but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/ace spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don’t always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of “gay best friend” or a blink and you’ll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle*

Rose, like her parents, believes strongly that homosexuality is a sin, and holds great pride that her home town hosts Camp Damascus, a successful conversion camp for young teens. But Rose is also experiencing strange and terrifying things: memories of a beautiful girl, a demonic figure that shows up if her thoughts stray, flies crawling out her mouth. Something has happened in Rose's past that her parents won't speak of and that she herself can't remember, and Camp Damascus is at the center of it all. Sapphic, autistic main character, as well as a really cool take on demonic lore that is both inspired by and a subversion of christianity.

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland*

Young adult. Something happened to Iris Hollow and her two older sisters when they were little; after having gone missing, they were all returned with no memory of what happened and identical scars on their throats. Years have passed since then, and though seen as strange the girls still lead mostly normal lives - that is, until the oldest, Grey, goes missing, leaving strange clues in her path. As Iris searches for her, a strange man with horns starts stalking her and memories start to rise to the forefront in her mind. To save Grey, Iris will have to find out the truth of what happened all those years ago. Features wonderfully morally grey characters. Bisexual lead, but little to no romance.

Winter Tide (The Innsmouth Legacy) by Ruthanna Emrys*

Aphra and her brother are the only survivors after the government raided their home, Innsmouth. Their only living family are the amphibian people of the deep, whom they will one day join, but until then they are bound to land where they struggle to build new lives for themselves after the great loss of their home and loved ones. Then rumors start to spread of a russian agent seeking dangerous and ancient magic, forcing Aphra to involve herself as they try to stop it. Does contain horror elements but is generally a much more optimistic look on cosmic horror than most lovecraftian stories, told from the perspective of one of his monsters. Lots of focus on found family and rebuilding of community. Asexual main character (however I don’t think that becomes in-text confirmed until the sequel) and multiple queer characters in the supporting cast.

Rules for Vanishing by Kate Alice Marshall

Young adult. One year ago, Sara's sister went missing. Since then, Sara has drifted away from her friends, but when she receives a mysterious text inviting her to "play the game" - the same game that supposedly stole her sister away - Sara and her estranged friends all come back together to find her. Together they set off on a path that legend says appears only once a year, leading them toward the ghost Lucy Gallows and, hopefully, Sara's sister. Bisexual main character, told in a faux documentary style.

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

A young pregnant woman flees a cult that left her body strange and changing in terrifying ways. Hiding from both a world wanting to oppress her and the cult seeking to force her back, she does her best to raise her children while trying to find out the truth of the cult and being pursued by a hunter in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Bleak and scary, Sorrowland is a book that will creep under your skin with horrors both fantastical and very, very real.

Otherside Picnic (Otherside Picninc lightnovel series) by Iori Miyazawa

Sapphic light novel with a surreal and episodic horror vibe. Following the directions of an urban legend, university student Sorawo finds her way to a reality populated by horrifying creatures from ghost stories and modern urban legends (of which I’m sure you’ll recognize many). Here she teams up with fellow explorer Toriko, both to find out more about this strange world and to help Toriko find a missing loved one. Also available as a manga and (one season of) an anime. Sapphic.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Amrfield

Miri thought she lost her wife Leah when her deep-sea mission ended in a catastrophe. But Leah was miraculously returned to her - or so it seems. Because something happened down there, deep in the ocean, and whatever it was, Leah has brought it back with her. Surreal and strange, Our Wives Under the Sea will not answer all your questions, but it will give you a unique experience.

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

Novella. Alex Easton, retired soldier, travels to visit their childhood friends, siblings Madeline and Roderick Usher, after finding out that Madeline is dying. In the siblings’ rural, ancestral home, Madeline walks in her sleep and looks to be fading away, while around it wildlife seems to be possessed by a strange force. With the help of a mycologist and an American doctor, Alex attempts to save Madeline and reveal the truth of her illness. Nonbinary main character.

Alien: Echo by Mira Grant

Young adult. Twin sisters Olivia and Viola’s parents are both xenobiologists, bringing them all over the galaxy. Most recently they’ve settled on a new colony world to study its wildlife, but it proves more dangerous than they could’ve ever imagined. Under attack from alien monsters, the sisters must keep each other alive while also coming to terms with a dark family secret. Sapphic horror. Part of the Alien franchise but stands well on its own.

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant*

A research vessel heads towards the Mariana Trench in search of answers of what happened to a ship which mysteriously lost all its crew some time earlier. In the deep dark, something intelligent and hungry awaits them. Very much mermaids of the horror variety. Sequel to a novella, can be read as a standalone. Also contains a sapphic romance, however that is a pretty small part of the plot as a whole.

Alice Isn't Dead by Joseph Fink

Based on the podcast by the same name. Keisha Taylor thought she had lost her wife. She even held a funeral and attempted to move on with her life. But then Alice started to appear, all over America, in the background of every single major tragedy in the country. To find her missing wife, Keisha gets a job as a trucker and sets out on a roadtrip, not knowing what horrors awaits her.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power

Young adult. Over a year ago, the Raxter School for Girls was hit by the Tox, a strange disease that killed off many and left the survivors’ bodies slowly changing in terrifying ways. The island the school is on has been in quarantine since then, and the girls dare not leave the school grounds lest they become victims of wild animals changed by the Tox. But as they wait for the promised cure, one of the girls goes missing, and her friends are willing to do anything to find her. Unsettling, spooky, and sapphic, this is a unique read featuring body horror and messy, dangerous girls.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

Once, Andy, Kerri, Nate, Peter and their faithful dog were known as the Blyton Summer Detective Club, until they hit their fateful final case in 1977. Now, the year is 1990, and the group hasn't gathered in years. Tomboy Andy is wanted in at least two states; Kerri, former kid genius, is tending bar; and horror nerd Nate is in a mental institution in Arkham. At least he still has the company of jock-turned-movie star Peter - except Peter has been dead for years. Now they must all come together to find out the truth of what happened all those years ago. Lovecraftian horror with a sometimes absurdist vibe and adult scooby do inspiration. Sapphic romance.

Contagion by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something… monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn’t show up until book two, which has more romance).

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand*

Young adult. The isolated island of Sawkill Rock has secrets. It hosts the legend of a local monster, and the very stark reality of decades of girls going missing, never to be found again. Now, three girls stand at the center of the horrific mystery - if only they can come together, perhaps they can save future generations of girls from a monster that may very well be real. Asexual and sapphic main characters, including a sapphic romance.

Salvation Day by Kali Wallace

A decade ago, the massive ship House of Wisdom was abandoned in orbit after its entire crew was killed in an outbreak in a matter of hours. Now, Zahra and her family of outcasts hope to claim the ship as their own by kidnapping the sole survivor to gain access. But the danger of the House of Wisdom is far from gone. Horror, no major romance but one of the main characters is gay.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unstintingly claustrophobic books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves. Sapphic in the most messy of ways.

Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb series) by Tamsyn Muir*

Gideon, raised as a swordswoman by unfriendly nuns, would rather run away and make her own life, but her services are needed. The Reverend Daughter, Gideon’s childhood nemesis, has been invited to a trial to win a place as an immortal by the Emperor’s side, and she’s in need of a bodyguard. Listen, if you’re on tumblr I probably don’t need to explain this book to you. Trust me when I say it’s exactly as good as people claim. Humorous and spooky but also absolutely gut wrenching and clever with a lot of political commentary. There are also, indeed, lesbian necromancers in space.

Family Business by Jonathan Sims

By the author behind the Magnus Archives. When Diya's childhood best friend and roommate unexpectedly passes away, Diya falls apart and, among other things, loses her job. When she's offered a position at Slough & Sons to clean up after the deceased, she sees no other recourse but to accept. Her new job is grisly but important, and Diya starts to get back on her feet - until strange visions of a terrifying man and the dead's last moments start to haunt her. Slough & Sons are hiding something, and it's up to Diya to find out the truth. No romance, bisexual main character and trans woman side character.

Sodom Road Exit by Amber Dawn

Starla didn't want to return to her childhood home of Crystal Beach, Canada, but growing debt has forced her to move back in with her mother, despite the trauma hidden in her old home. But Starla is haunted by more than trauma; she is, in fact, literally haunted, by a ghost that may understand her, but may also consume her. Not overly scary, but handles dark subjects such as childhood sexual assault. Lesbian main character and romance.

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson*

In a world where the rich drink blood to preserve their health, Marion applies to a position as bloodmaid in a notorious noble house far from home. Suddenly showered with luxuries and debauchery, Marion soon gains the interest and favor of Lisavet, countess of the house. A fresh take on the idea of vampires and deliciously dark sapphic romance inspired by the horrific real-life Elisabet Báthory.

A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson

Dracula inspired novella, following Constanta, who’s turned from a medieval peasant to an undead bride. As time passes the relationship between Dracula and Constanta grows all the more strained and potentially dangerous. Teaming up with his two other consorts, she seeks to unravel her husband’s secrets. Sapphic and polyamorous.

Dread Nation (Dread Nation duology) by Justina Ireland

Young adult, alternate history. In this world, the war between the American states is interrupted when the dead start walking the earth and hunting the living. Jane McKeene has been trained at Miss Preston’s School of Combat to become an attendant, skilled in combat as well as etiquette to protect the wealthy. But Jane wants a different life, and in her search for it stumbles headfirst into a conspiracy. Bisexual main character, aroace side character (who becomes a POV character in the sequel).

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

In a future where those with high testosterone are afflicted by a zombie-like disease, bloodthirsty men have become the enemy. Trans women Beth and Fran and trans man Robbie do their best to survive in this brutal world, where TERF movements seek to exterminate them and monstrous men hunt in the wilds. VERY gruesome and bleak, but also very timely in the present political climate.

Leech by Hiron Ennes*

Unbeknownst to humanity, a sentient hive mind has taken over the entire medical profession to ensure the health of their host species. One of their doctors is sent off to an isolated location where they’re cut off from the rest of the hive mind, only to realize they’re faced with a rivaling parasitic entity. Leech hands you only just enough information to get by, and whether its historical fantasy, an alternate timeline, or futuristic post apocalypse is hard to determine. It’s spooky and a bit weird and wildly creative, and does some neat things with gender.

The Outside by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existential crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired sci-fi where reality is warped and artificial gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

The Gilded Abyss by Rebecca Thorne

Nix Marr is a soldier and damned good at it, but that doesn’t prepare her for her next mission: bodyguard for Subarch Kessandra, beloved royal and Nix’s bitter ex. The two venture toward the underwater city of Fall to seek the cause of a bloody murder spree and a possible deadly contagion. But Kessandra has enemies, the answers she seeks marking her as a possible threat for the nation’s rulers. On their way in an isolated and enclosed underwater ship toward Fall, the contagion catches up, and Nix will have to put her hurt feelings aside if the two are to arrive alive. Sci-fi with flavors of horror and the supernatural and a sapphic romance.

[springofdrownedmillenial]

***This post contains heavy spoilers for the Ryugenzawa Arc and the Nodoka storyline through Chapter 384. English scans read left-to-right and Japanese scans right-to-left. Sorry!***

In chapter 275 of Ranma 1/2, Ranma tells a rival for Akane's affections to "take care of her" before leaping to almost certain death. Pretty standard stuff, a staple scene of action movies everywhere, right before the hero sacrifices himself to save the girl he loves. Except that the macho bravado of the moment is subverted by the fact that Rumiko Takahashi renders Ranma's physical form, in this scene, as a beautiful, sorrowing girl.

Sapphic overtones aside, this moment has stayed with me because it holds the series' ideas about gender conformity, and specifically masculinity, up for inspection. Throughout the series, Ranma is preoccupied with being a "real man" and is famously out of touch with his emotions. Most of the time this character trait is played for laughs, but the series does hold a fair number of moments when Ranma expresses genuine vulnerability, and oftentimes Takahashi draws Ranma going through these scenarios in his girl form.

Before I go further, it is worth mentioning that I am by no means claiming Ranma is in his girl form any time he displays emotion or moments of vulnerability, or that vulnerability is the only kind of emotion girl-Ranma displays. Rather, I am saying that Takahashi, as a storyteller, often makes use of the gender swap device to heighten the emotional impact of a scene and that, moreover, the emotions that Ranma bodily expresses as a boy often differ in their association with gendered attributes than the ones he expresses as a girl. As a boy, Ranma expresses anger, belligerence, confusion, comically rendered fear - all "active," masculine-coded feelings. On the other hand, during moments of sadness, uncertainty, acquiescence, or some sense of loss, when they are not played for laughs or as a setup to a gag, he is often drawn as a girl. Even though Ranma is constantly trying to return to being a "real" man, Takahashi repeatedly undercuts the idea that this is a good and worthwhile thing to aspire to.

I won't get into what makes a "real man" here, but it's pretty easy to pick up on; as it turns out, the rules of heteronormative Japanese masculinity are a lot like the American ones: boys don't show weakness, boys don't back down or admit when they're wrong, boys don't show sadness or fear, and above all they don't eat girly stuff like yogurt parfaits.

Takahashi gets around the rules of masculinity by having Ranma embody vulnerability in a female body. This is both a loophole and a subversion. As a girl, Ranma is now "allowed" to show certain emotions, just like he is "allowed" to eat parfaits without inviting social judgement when in his female body. But since his gender identity remains male, he is still a boy eating the parfait, having these emotions. What makes his female-bodied vulnerability interesting is how it later affects his ability or willingness to express "un-manly" emotions while in his male body.

So, to return to Chapter 275: The thing is, Takahashi could have easily drawn Ranma as a boy in this panel. It would have been easy to insert a shot of him turning back into a boy via a Magically Appearing Kettle. As I stated earlier, this scene could have played like a macho action movie, with one guy "handing over" his girlfriend to another guy before sacrificing himself. And if Ranma were in his boy form when saying this line, it would definitely strengthen that read. You can easily imagine him delivering the line with a kind of macho stoicism and fortitude. But he doesn't. He delivers the line in his girl form, and what’s more Takahashi ramps up the ante here and draws him as downright beautiful. His features are exaggerated to emphasize femininity, with a small, rounded face shape and a delicately pointed chin. Ranma's eyes are huge, and light reflections take up most of the pupils, giving them a luminous appearance. This panel directly follows two shots of Akane and Ranma gazing at each other without speaking, and because the line is delivered so quietly, paired with Ranma's hyper-feminine appearance and expression, it locks the reader into the emotional intensity of the moment. In this moment, we're not thinking about Orochi. We're looking at Ranma mourning the loss of his relationship with Akane.

Remember that Ranma is under the understandable, if mistaken, impression that Akane has effectively tossed him over and chosen Shinnosuke as her new beau. This scene is not subtle about reinforcing the misunderstanding. Shinnosuke kept pace with Ranma in rescuing Akane from Orochi, he's sitting right next to her as she wakes up. In this panel Ranma is accepting and respecting what he thinks is Akane's decision to be with someone else, and this setup makes Ranma and Akane's reunification in the next chapter all the more impactful and romantic.

 Without this panel, would we have gotten that final scene – surely one of the loveliest in the whole series – of Ranma mentally rehearsing all the things he wants to say to Akane and reaching for her hand? I would argue no. While Ranma was plenty upset after Akane first slapped him and shedding his feelings all over the place, in his boy form he expressed himself angrily, petulantly, and childishly - and that was when he wasn't repressing his emotions altogether. That's not the behavior of someone who possesses great emotional maturity. It is only after this scene that he is able, as a boy, to speak sincerely. And I would argue that it's largely because of his vulnerability in this scene that he’s eventually able to at least try to connect emotionally with Akane without hiding behind a lot of bluster and insults.

The tug of war between machismo and vulnerability comes to the fore even more strongly in the long Nodoka subarc that runs through the second half of the series. In a nutshell, Ranma's long-lost mother reappears in his life and is eager to reunite with Ranma, but with a catch: if Ranma hasn't grown up to be a "completely manly," then both Ranma and Genma will be held to a promise to commit ritual suicide. By conventional definitions, Ranma, obviously, is not 100% male and, faced with the prospect of literal death, meets with his mother as Akane's made-up cousin "Ranko," all the while dreaming of the day he can reunite with Nodoka as his real self.

The chapters involving Nodoka are gag-based and comical, and largely turn on ever more preposterous scenarios in which Ranma must constantly switch between his male and female bodies. One of the more serious arcs in this subplot involves Kumon Ryuu, a boy who impersonates Ranma and moves into Nodoka's house after convincing her he is her son. Ranma, of course, fights Ryuu in order to reclaim his name and identity. This arc is poignant and, unlike most other Nodoka arcs, played mostly as a dramatic storyline, because Takahashi makes no bones about how much Ranma loves his mother. This is the one relationship that Ranma wants and pursues without any kind of bluster or contrariness. He doesn't pretend that he doesn't want to see Nodoka. He doesn't rebuff her with rudeness or insensitive remarks. Ranma makes it clear that his mother is important to him and that he will go to extraordinary lengths to be in her life and have a connection with her.

Although Ranma ultimately defeats Ryuu in combat, there are two panels show how much of a pyrrhic victory this is. After the battle, Ranma get punted into a water trough (as one does) and, in his girl form, hides behind a pile of rubble while Nodoka confronts Ryuu.  We see clearly how dejected Ranma is in this scene. Even though he is drawn in the foreground, Takahashi makes him look small next to the mound of dirt, and the way he is positioned, hunching down, hugging his knees, makes him look even tinier. He just looks really lonely and really sad, listening to his mother speak so gently to a boy who is not himself.

In the second panel, Ranma, still sitting in the same position, now looks even tinier, as the panel is drawn from an aerial perspective with Ryuu in the foreground and Ranma in the middle ground. Ryuu advises him to tell Nodoka the truth before departing for good. This is such a heartbreaking conclusion to this arc: Despite the physical and inner ordeals he has endured for his mother's sake, in the end he is reduced to hiding himself away, unable to either reveal himself or speak the truth. Emotionally, this is one of Ranma's lowest points, and once again, because the rules of masculinity preclude Ranma from expressing sincere dejection in a male body, Takahashi makes use of his female body and emphasizes his smallness to visually convey his emotional state.

Unlike in the Ryugenzawa arc, Ranma's display of vulnerability in his girl form doesn't lead to an emotional breakthrough in his boy form, as he remains a girl for the rest of the arc, which concludes on the next page. But it is striking that Ryuu, an antagonist and total outsider to Ranma's long-running drama, should be so insightful into the whole situation. He doesn't tell Ranma to 'man up' or to find a cure. He sees what is outwardly a forlorn girl and says, simply, 'tell the truth.' Whatever beliefs Ranma has about the "right" way to present himself to his mother doesn't matter. The truth is what matters. For his part, Ranma absorbs Ryuu's advice without a word, and it is perhaps telling that although it will take another 85(!!) chapters before the Nodoka subplot is finally resolved, Nodoka only appears in three more storylines in between. This moment is really the beginning of the end for this whole rigamarole.

This scene also shows how exhausting it is to keep up the ruse. It is stressful to have to pretend to be someone else in order to keep a relationship with a loved one. It must also be so emotionally taxing to be thwarted every time you work up the nerve to tell the truth, just as it must be to have terror of the consequences of outing yourself almost involuntarily override your desire to connect.

And indeed, it all comes to a head in the subplot's concluding arc. Ranma, in his girl form, finds himself continuously confronting Genma, who as usual wants to prevent him from revealing the truth to Nodoka, and running away from Nodoka herself. Finally, Genma knocks him out, and when he regains consciousness he hazily sees Nodoka bending over him, holding a water kettle. Instinctively, Ranma splits the kettle open with a leg slash, only to discover it is empty. Ranma and Nodoka face each other for a moment before Ranma runs off.

The only way I can describe Ranma's expression in this panel is "devastated." The position of his eyebrows really makes this a unique expression. Whatever boy Ranma's mental state, be it confusion, smugness, or shock, his brows are usually furrowed downwards, suggesting dominance, control, and assertiveness. Here, however, they're arched much less sharply, opening up his whole face.

As he runs away, Ranma expresses fear that his mother has discovered the secret to his transformation. That's certainly a reason to be devastated. However, I also read this moment as being the horrible, worst-case culmination of all the stress Ranma has been under so far. He has become so panicked and worn down that he is lashing out, however inadvertently, at the one person he is desperate to please, and once again Takahashi uses his female form to visually communicate that Ranma is at his lowest emotional point.

But all is not lost! Somewhat beautifully, Takahashi shows that girl Ranma is also a conduit of positive vulnerability. In the next chapter, Ranma (still in his girl form) wakes up from a nightmare and immediately has to evade an attack from Genma. Genma reminds him that if he tells Nodoka the truth, both of them will have to commit seppuku. It's the same old go-around; we have seen this exchange before, and we know what's coming next: Ranma's going to declare that he's going to meet his mom anyway, and Nodoka will show up, and Ranma will reflexively chicken out and turn into his girl form.

This time, however, Ranma does something unexpected. He says, with a smile on his face, "Dad...I wanna stop lying already." He looks completely at peace, and it's clear that following the harrowing confrontation with his mother, Ranma's outlook has irrevocably shifted. His desire to reunite with Nodoka is finally more powerful than his fear of death, and he will accept whatever consequences may come, so long as he can meet with his mother honestly.

In contrast to how he is drawn in the Ryugenzawa arc, Ranma's face here is almost a blend of masculine and feminine features. His jawline is stronger and his eyes sit higher on the face, giving him a less exaggerated, delicate look. If his boy and girl forms were combined into one body, this is how he might appear, and his harmonized features reflect the resolution of his inner turmoil.

Once again, in a world where kettles of hot water can and do appear out of thin air, Takahashi could easily have had Ranma deliver this line in his male form. I think that she doesn't because it is important to show Ranma breaking the cycle of deception and evasion that Genma has trapped him in up until now. He's not responding with aggression this time, but rather with peace and acceptance and a new-found moral conviction. He dials down the energy; he's not doing this anymore. This is, as much as anything, an assertion of independence from his father's influence: Ranma has found his own way forward and is no longer going to let the terms of his relationship with Nodoka be dictated by fear and cowardice.

The payoff comes in the arc's climactic scene when Ranma, now in his male body, rescues Nodoka after she falls off a cliff. Mother and son are finally reunited face-to-face and, in a really touching detail, Ranma's long-awaited reunion plays out totally differently than how he has fantasized. Instead of being a cool and composed tower of manly virility, welcoming his mother into his manly arms, Ranma starts to cry and clings to Nodoka while burying his head in her shoulder. It is a pure, cathartic, completely unmanly display of emotion, and this time Ranma does it all while in a male body.

Amazingly, Ranma goes even further in trying to express himself. We see his inner monologue as he urges himself to tell Nodoka that he was Ranko, and even starts to say so out loud before he is stopped by - of course - Genma. This is a critical character development moment because, having just performed a heroic rescue, he quite honestly doesn't have to tell the truth. He could have hustled Nodoka back up to safety and just tried extra hard to remain male for the rest of the day. But he commits to his own words: He wants to stop lying. He wants to present his whole self to Nodoka, and that includes the non-masculine parts of his identity.

In the series, so much of the characters' time is preoccupied with policing gender conformity, which is not unsurprising for a gender-bender series. Ranma is inundated with comments about how a man should behave and he shouldn't behave, how he should think and how he shouldn't think, which emotions are appropriate and which ones are not. Ranma puts himself into a bind because for the most part he subscribes to this model of masculinity, and indeed until relatively recently he was nearly the perfect embodiment of it. But being "100% manly" just sends Ranma into a vicious cycle of misunderstandings and arguments and isolates him from the people he loves. The hard lesson he learns is that when he actually taps into "weaker," "unmanly" feelings, he's able to break out of this unproductive cycle and move forward to achieve his goals.

Although Ranma’s quest is to regain his manhood, we are not meant to cheer on Ranma's displays of machismo. The takeaway from Ranma's moments of vulnerability is not that it's ok to show emotions so long as you appear to be a girl. It is that heteronormative masculinity is so restrictive and so repressive that it cuts off outlets of healthy, human emotional expression. It is both futile and harmful to keep chasing after a type of masculinity that isn't really realistic to embody and still retain a sense of an emotionally whole self. Ranma isn't just a tough guy. He has deep reserves of sensitivity. He is sad sometimes. He feels heartbreak deeply. He is a boy who just wants his mother.

[xxvalkyriesxx]

Labyrinth of the Night - Chapter Two

She laid broken and bloody in the street one moment and the next she was whole again, but now her humanity was lost forever.

OR Rhys hits Feyre with her motorcycle and in order to save her, turns her into a vampire.

Previous Chapter//Next Chapter

Read below or on AO3

AN: Hello Everyone! I'm happy that so many people have showed interest in this fic <3 Writing Feysand as a main couple is still new to me, but I've been enjoying them. I may have bitten off more than I could chew with trying to complete this by Halloween, which is in four days :p But we'll see what I can do!

Please be aware that this fic features Sapphic!Feysand. And some Tamlin slander.

CW: Blood

Mood board made by me :p

Snippet:

“Now, if I let you go, promise not to bite?” The woman, Rhys asked.

“Fuck you!” Feyre growled. “Oh this will be so much fun.”

**

The light, it was blinding. Then a woman with black hair and purple sky eyes was helping Feyre. The strange woman, who resembled an angel’s beauty, begged her not to die. 

But why would an angel tell someone to live?

Then the pain came. It pulled at Feyre from her mind to heart as she felt almost like her soul had left, but before she could pass finally, something entered her body. A high that was so unnatural it couldn’t be from any kind of drugs.

Feyre closed her eyes and felt as though her body was floating. There were several voices now as the ambient sounds of the city disappeared. Eventually a familiar presence was near her before it faded away.

Suddenly a dull ache impacted her mind. She felt this way before, but never to this extent. The ache pounded into her mind, her stomach, even her legs. Everywhere in her body, Feyre could feel it.

It was hunger. 

Shooting out from the bed, Feyre fell onto the dark wooden floor. A panic strummed from her mind as her head whipped around in the windowless room. The walls were painted a forest green. Where am I? She glanced down to see she wasn’t in her overall pants and sweater anymore. Instead she wore a gray long sleeve and leggings.

What the fuck? 

The panic evolved into a deep settling fear when a voice cleared. Peering up from the floor, Feyre’s head peaked over the bed to see a blonde woman sitting in a loveseat sideways, her legs dangling over the arms of the seat. Some of her hair was pulled back and clipped with a large red bow that matched her long sleeve dress that hit around her thighs.

The woman swung her legs over, standing up. Black pumped heels and a red lip smile made their way across the room. She didn’t walk fast, but almost cautiously, as if Feyre was a monster.

“I’m so glad you’re up, Feyre.”

The fear squeezed in Feyre’s chest. “How do you know my name?” She glanced around the surroundings again. “Where the fuck am I?”

The woman offered a gentle smile. “I know you’ve been through a lot, but I need you to trust me, okay?”

She placed her hand over her heart. “I’m Morrigan, but call me Mor. You were in an accident and my cousin brought you to our home. We had a family doctor that looked after you.”

Feyre groaned as she cradled her head. The blinding bright light as the rain came pouring down in the streets of the city. The flashes of memory caused her to clench her teeth.

“What do you want from me? Where am I?”

“We’re on the outskirts of Frederick. We live right on the Potomac river.”

“I was just in Baltimore last night.” 

Was it last night? How long have I actually been here?

“Rhys brought you in almost a week ago. Your body was gravely injured during the accident.”

Mor held out her hand to Feyre. “Like I said, I need you to trust me. I’ll answer anything you want, but first I need you to do something for me.”

Feyre peered at the hand with a gold wedding band and a diamond ring paired with it. Her palms were sweaty as her hand trembled. It was no use in fighting her, there was something with Mor that felt different. Like she was a lot stronger than she looked. Reaching up, Feyre took Mor’s hand before she was pulled on her feet.

“Great. Now.” Mor reached over to the night stand, grabbing a solid bottle with a straw and lid.

“You probably feel a little weak with nothing in your system. Drink some so you can feel a little better.”

Feyre took the cup raising an eyebrow. “What is it?”

Mor pursed her lips. “A protein shake. My cousin made it. She says it helps anyone recover from a hard hit like that.”

The ache from her hunger that woke Feyre up curled in her stomach. Her mouth felt extremely dry, to the point that her tongue felt almost like a brick. She glanced at Mor who gave her an encouraging smile. Feyre nodded before taking a sip.

Whatever protein shake that she was drinking had to be the most divine thing Feyre ever tasted. It was on  the cooler side of room temperature. They must have made this not long before I woke up. The liquid was thick and usually Feyre wasn’t big on thick smoothies, but this one just hit the spot. Probably because I've been knocked out for days now…

Frustration lingered as Feyre felt the drink start to have less and less. Her hunger only craved more. Without much thought, Feyre tore off the straw and lid, drinking the rest away. Mor made a sound, But Feyre ignored her as she drank until there was nothing left. She felt the liquid drip from the cup, down her neck.

The cup slipped from Feyre’s hand, colliding to the floor. Swiping a finger, Feyre brought the remaining drips of the drink that spilled down her neck to her lips. However an unfamiliar red stopped her in her tracks. The liquid was dark red, an almost exact shade of blood. 

Am I bleeding?

Instantly Feyre reached for her neck, feeling the sticky drink that spilled down her neck. But then she felt something that wasn’t there before. Two small scab-like wounds were right near the pulse in her neck. However there was no pulse underneath her fingertips.

Gasping, Feyre marched over to a nearby mirror. She looked the same at first, but all over her neck and mouth was blood. It had gotten stained on the shirt she wore. Lifting her hair, Feyre saw two small marks in her neck. But when she glanced up, her eyes scared her. For they were no longer the blue gray that belonged to her mother. Instead they were a bright red as if she was a monster from a campy horror film.

“Shit.” Mor mumbled underneath her breath.

She approached Feyre. “Feyre, I need you to relax. I’ll explain what’s going on.”

But Mor’s voice was drowned out as Feyre began to hear beyond her. Chirps from owls on trees yards away, cars driving on roads that somehow Feyre knew wasn’t close by, but could hear the tires and engines like it was down the street.

Her tongue flicked to her teeth when she yelped. Something pointy scraped along her tongue. Looking back in the mirror, Feyre flashed her teeth seeing fangs where her canines were supposed to be. Whipping her head back, Mor was now standing closer to her, another hand reaching for her.

Fear gripped Feyre’s stone like heart when a bloody scream erupted from her lips. Terror rang through her screech as her back hit the mirror. As she stared at Mor, she saw the familiar sight of fangs peeking from her lips. Mor came closer, a look of worry on her face. She had held up her hand but the second she did that, another scream erupted from downstairs.

The scream was so loud she winced. Were screams always this loud or was it only now? Then Feyre heard more yells and curses from the floor underneath. The merge of voices blended together, but one stood out in the sea of curses. One that she hadn’t heard in three years since she left her hometown.

“Nesta.” Feyre whispered. But how?

Quickly she reached for the door, but Mor grabbed her wrist.

“I know you want to see your sister, but it’s not safe downstairs. You need to stay up here.”

Feyre shook her head. “I’m not listening to another word.” 

Before she knew what happened, Feyre yanked Mor’s grip off her. But by doing so, Mor fell onto her back. Feyre’s gaze widened as she looked at her hand before tearing the door practically off its hinges before running into the hallway. The control of her limbs was almost non-existence as she ran more like a foal than a human. Or whatever the hell I am now…

In seconds Feyre went from the upstairs hallway to the floor below. Running into the living room Feyre stopped in her tracks. The room appeared normal with a couch that easily could fit eight to ten people and a tv that had football on. Glancing away, Feyre saw a man, possibly a few years older than her, bop his black shaggy hair to the music in his airpods as he played on his Nintendo Switch.

Taking a few steps into the room she tried to process everything around her when another man appeared in front of her.

“Feyre Archeron in the flesh. What a delight.” The man said as he eyed the blood that was still on her neck. From head to toe, he was dressed in black. His shirt was unbuttoned showing warm brown skin with scars and black swirl tattoos that peaked from the opening. His golden hazel eyes that glowed, locked onto Feyre. 

But his eyes weren't what made Feyre afraid. It was the gray dust horns that spiraled similar to a ram’s that were attached to his head. He must’ve sensed her fear as he grinned showing his teeth. Over his shoulders were giant bat-like wings.

“What the fuck is happening?” Feyre asked as she backed herself against a wall.

The man with horns wore an apologetic smile. “To quote one of my favorite masterminds - a lot is going on at the moment. But don’t worry, all should hopefully make sense soon enough.”

“How do you know who I am?” Feyre demanded, her shoulders tensing.

As the man opened his mouth to explain, two women appeared in the porch light from outside the closed glass door. The two women seemed to have been arguing back and forth. One of them she could hardly make out with the light blocking her features. But the other woman, who stood with her back towards the door, seemed oddly familiar.

Her raven black hair that shined an almost violet sheen was braided in a fishtail, the hair resting slightly above the end of her back. How do I know you? Feyre narrowed her eyes but before she could do anything, the woman stepped inside.

When she turned around, a playful smirk danced along her lips as familiar twilight sky eyes seemed to have glowed at her. 

“Darling.” She purred. “I’m glad to see that you’re awake.”

Feyre gasped, a hand coming to her lips, then traveled to her neck where her scabs were.

“You. You were there the other night–”

Lights flashed, tires screeched, rain poured onto the pavement that drowned Feyre as she laid broken and bloody. Those twilight sky eyes appeared frantic as she begged her not to die. But then the scene flashed and she was somewhere else with her. Not in the rain, but inside, under fluorescent lights. Feyre winced as the memories poured into her mind. They were standing together, a swarm of voices drowning them out. Feyre tightly squeezed her eyes before opening them again.

“A slightly unfortunate error on my end. But on the bright side.” She smiled, fangs similar to Feyre’s shining. “You’re safe.”

“And not dead, technically .” The man with horns chipped in.

Before Feyre could say anything, the other woman from the porch came inside. A few golden brown strands coiled around her face while wearing a witch hat as she glared.

“You turned my sister into a vampire you fucking leech! You were only supposed to help me rescue her and now she’s one of you–”

Feyre froze as only a few feet away from her, was Nesta. In the three years since she had last seen her, she looked, well she looked really tired. There were purple bags underneath her blue-gray eyes, the same as Feyre’s, or were the same as her’s. She seemed slightly fuller in frame compared to three years ago. Nesta wasn’t bulky as her muscles seemed more enhanced than before.

Nesta whipped her glance to Feyre who mirrored her expression. They nearly butted heads all of the time growing up as the two sisters were cut from the same cloth. Feyre always saw Nesta as someone who seemed so much older than she actually was. Four years between their ages, making Nesta twenty-five. 

But in front of her now, Nesta seemed so much younger. Her eyes welled with tears and she pushed past everyone, pulling Feyre into a hug. Instantly Feyre hugged her back, not remembering the last time Nesta showed this level of affection voluntarily.

“You’re here. You’re actually here.” Nesta mumbled into her hair.

Feyre forgot how Nesta was just slightly taller than her as there were a few inches between them. So many questions rolled over in Feyre’s mind. Emotion gripped her throat and mind as she tried to figure out the next piece of the puzzle. 

Then the wind blew from the opened door, and suddenly, the ache of hunger returned. Feyre could hear her sister’s pulse as they embraced. Her neck was in reach as Feyre felt her fangs draw down. But before she could lean up to take a taste, a sudden force pushed Feyre back against the wall. The force was strong enough for a picture frame or two to knock down.

The woman with black hair smirked as she tsked. “Naughty girl.” 

She gripped Feyre by her throat as she struggled against her grasp.

“Cassian, get Nesta and Azriel out of here. The house needs to be restricted to just vampires for now.”

“Rhys you can’t just take me away from my sister. I’m staying right here.” Nesta argued even as her eyes reflected something that Feyre had never seen her show before. Fear.

“Sorry Sweetheart, but those are the boss’s rules.” Cassian, the horned man, said.

“You’re my patron! Can’t you convince Rhys?”

Cassian shrugged. “Not today, Sweetheart. Not when your life could be at risk.” 

He threw Nesta over his shoulder as if she was just a pillow. She yelled at him, hitting and kicking his body. Cassian seemed to have not cared as he called out for someone else.

“Az, let’s go.” Cassian called out.

The first man that Feyre saw walked past her, unphased as Cassian pulled him in with his free arm before the three took off, flying into the night sky.

“Now, if I let you go, promise not to bite?” The woman, Rhys asked.

“Fuck you!” Feyre growled.

“Oh this will be so much fun.”

**

Rhys’ smirk stayed across her lips as she watched Feyre struggle against her hold. Newly turned vampires are always a hassle to deal with. But this one has piqued my interest tenfold. 

“Let go of me!” Feyre shouted, fangs descending from her growls.

The beats of Cassian’s wings had long disappeared into the wind, so Rhys shrugged, taking her hand off Feyre. Putting her hands in her back pockets, Rhys tilted her head at her.

“What a beautiful, fearsome creature.” Her gaze lingered on Feyre’s face, counting the freckles that appeared across her nose and cheeks.

“Creature? I’m a human!” Feyre snapped.

“You were. Now you’re a vampire.”

Feyre shook her head. “I’m not a vampire! This is all just a bad dream!”

Rhys grinned. “Really now? Pray to God right now then. If this isn’t real, God will wake you up.”

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me. Whenever humans felt fear they prayed to God, or really any higher being to protect them. Pray, outloud.”

Feyre’s body shook before she took a deep breath, clasping her hands together. She began to mumble when Rhys cleared her throat. “Outloud, remember.”

Feyre glared at her before she leant her head down. “Go–” Then she began to cough and choke.

Gasping from the pain Feyre looked at Rhys for an explanation.

“A vampire is a damned creature. And damned creatures cannot say a holy name, like God.”

Astonished, Feyre yelled “But you’re saying it!?”

Rhys shrugged. “Took almost a full century to build the tolerance of the pain. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

She watched as Feyre trembled slightly. Her body slowly slipped to the floor. The impact of the change settling into her.

“I’m really a vampire.” 

“You are. But let this be known, Feyre. I wasn’t about to let you die. Not after everything you’ve been through.”

“You’ve been stalking me too?”

Rhys eased herself onto the ground, sitting in front of Feyre. She was careful not to disturb her bad knee.

“By definition of a stalker, I haven’t harassed you. But I’ve been watching you though.”

“For how long?”

The question caught Rhys off guard. I was expecting her to ask why or even cry…

“For about a year now. Your sister came into contact with us asking us to help rescue you.”

Feyre narrowed her eyes “Rescue me from what?”

“Feyre Darling, did you know that Tamlin Thorne is a vampire hunter?”

Feyre’s eyes widened as she shook her head no. “He’s a what?”

Rhys sighed. “He comes from a long line of vampire hunters. Although he can kill more than just vampires, it’s what he’s known for.”

“No, I didn’t know.” Feyre admitted.

“I figured. He kept his secret well hidden.”

The newly turned vampire looked around the room, as her eyes landed on the photo that fell. It was a picture of all them, including Nesta and Cassian. Gently Feyre picked up the frame, examining the selfie that Mor took a few months back when her, Nesta, Cassian, Azriel, and Rhys were in a game of blackjack. 

“It took two years for Nesta to find me?”

“Not exactly. It’s not my story to tell, but your sister has been devilishly busy since the last time you saw her.”

“The man with the horns.” She asked, moving to another subject.

“That’s Cassian.”

“Right, Cassian. Is he also a vampire?”

Rhys chuckled, noting the pink on Feyre’s cheeks. “No, he’s a demon lord from Hell.”

Feyre blinked. “He’s a demon?”

“Very much so. Although I would tone down the heart eyes and drool when he’s around. It’ll just feed his ego.”

“I did not have heart eyes and I didn't drool!” 

“Could’ve fooled me, Feyre Darling.” Rhys playfully smirked.

Right as Rhys went to say something more, familiar footsteps padded down the steps to the kitchen where they sat.

“Oh, you got her.” Mor said, slightly out of breath.

“I forgot how strong new vampires are.” Mor added before going to the fridge.

Feyre sat up, a look of worry across her face. “Did I hurt you?”

Mor waved her hand. “Not at all. Just took me by surprise.”

“Nice of you to join us, Cousin.” Rhys said nonchalantly.

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Mor mumbled before leaving the fridge with three blood bags in hand. She sat in between Feyre and Rhys as she handed them each a bag. Rhys instantly took a straw from Mor and drank her bag in mere seconds. Her shoulders relaxed, licking her lips.

“What is this?” Feyre asked as she held the cold bag in her hands.

“Ironically it’s B+.” Mor giggled before plunging a karat straw into her’s.

Feyre quickly drained the bag, sucking it dry. Then she looked from the bag to Rhys, her expression not of hatred, but not quite sadness. “You ran into me the other night, in the rain?”

“I did. Although, it was a poorly timed accident. It was hard to see through the rain and before I knew it, you ran through the crosswalk when it wasn’t your turn to go.”

Feyre flushed. “I guess it was partially my fault for not looking both ways.”

“Nonetheless, the change isn’t easy. I’m sorry for taking that choice away from you, but I couldn’t let you die. Not when we were so close to saving you.”

“Tamlin was an asshole, but you’re speaking as though he’s tried to kill me.”

“Well…” Mor mumbled.

Rhys glared at her cousin. Mor just rolled her eyes in response.

“What do you mean by that?” 

Mor pointed to Feyre’s chest. “It’s complicated, but according to your sister, the Archeron line desindes from a powerful mage.”

Feyre’s eyes widened before she glanced down at her hands. “Do I have magic?”

“Not one bit. Nesta told us that no one in your family actively had magic. However the blood of a mage is something that attracts the paranormal like vampires and werewolves. Even the fae as well.” 

“Wait so how does this tie into Tamlin and me?” Feyre looked between Rhys and Mor.

“From what we gathered, Tamlin would use you as an almost magnet. Nothing could enter the townhouse since it’s heavily warded, however whenever he would leave he was oftening killing someone.”

“But if I’m related to some mage, why didn’t anything or one try to attack me when I was at the gallery or the studio?”

“You lived not even a block away from the studio and the gallery as they were in the same building, right?”

Feyre nodded. Rhys sighed, picking the invisible lint off her clothes. A bad habit that after centuries hadn’t died yet. She felt Feyre’s gaze on her and put her hand down in response.

“The space between the townhouse and the gallery is guarded by someone else. Someone no one has dared to go up against.”

“Who’s got this world so afraid?”

“Does the name Ianthe Pleasurefief ring any bells?”

Feyre raised an eyebrow. “My boss? What does she have anything to do with this?”

“Literally everything, Feyre.” Mor answered, looking at her nails.

“But how?”

“Ianthe the Pleasure Thief has guarded that part of Baltimore for centuries, even before the namesake of the city. Anyone who has not been personally invited by her will burn to ash.”

“What the actual fuck are you two trying to say?” Feyre asked.

“Feyre Darling. You’ve been working for a dragon for the past three years. Her title is Pleasure Thief as she takes pleasure in stealing all kinds of goods and adding it to her hoard.”

“Did she ever steal anything from you?” Mor asked, tilting her head.

Feyre’s eyes went out of focus as her mind ran through Mor’s question. Appalled, she looked back at the two of them. “She did. I had a few ideas for past collections that she stole, and during my own collection, I didn’t sell everything. When I brought everything home, I noticed two paintings were gone from the stack that didn’t sell.”

“But how did I not know she’s a dragon?” Her hand’s combed through her hair, fingers twirling the strands.

“I would’ve known I was working with a dragon.” Feyre added.

“They have some of the strongest magic in our realm. Her glamor is very powerful, especially on humans.”

“Does Tamlin know about her being a dragon?”

“We’re not sure, but we suspect that he knows something, but probably keeps her close to him for things he needs.”

Feyre scuffed. “Yeah, like sleeping with her.”

Both Rhys and Mor mouths dropped slightly. He did what?

“He cheated on you?”

“That’s why I left that night. I was done with his bullshit…”

Feyre then looked between them as she came to a realization. “He just let me go when I left the other night. He was downplaying him cheating on me.” She bit her lip. “Was he trying to have me killed since he didn’t go after me?”

When I get my hands on the fucker, he’ll beg me to kill him to put him out of his misery. But Feyre can do the honors if she so wishes.

Rhys stood up, offering a hand to Feyre. She took the offer, being pulled to her feet.

“You’ve been through a lot, Feyre. More than anyone should. There’s a lot that needs to happen for your new life. A lot to be taught and learned. But for right now, let’s get you back upstairs. Even as a vampire, you still need to rest.”

“Well I’m glad that’s not taken away.” Feyre joked.

“That’s only taken if you want it to be.” Rhys winked at her. She smirked slightly at the blush that glowed among Feyre’s freckles.

“Come on, I’ll show you back to your room.” 

Rhys didn’t mean for her hand to stay in Feyre’s, but she would be lying if she said she despised it. 

Tag List (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed):

[juststoriesintheend]

at this point in my life - part i

Pairing: Mae Aniseya x sapphic gn!Reader

Content: inspired by Tracy Chapman's song of the same name; modern au, folk singer au, reunited exes, angst with a happy ending, Qimir is implied to be an abusive/toxic partner

Word Count: 1.9k

《 [series masterlist] 》 《 ii 》

at this point in my life, i've done so many things wrong i don't know if i can do right

if you put your trust in me, hope i won't let you down if you give me a chance, i'll try

It’s bittersweet to be on this stage again. For the last time, says the little voice at the back of her head. The shame that accompanies it is bitter enough that she can hardly swallow it. But she tries. She has to. She can’t sing and be choking on bile at the same time.

Mae looks out at the dwindling crowd and she’s not sure how to feel about what she sees. It’s the last night of the performance season, so bar-goers are tired and eager to relax on their Saturday nights, which means they’re not showing up. She supposes that means there’s less people to be nervous about, less hope to build up in her chest. If anything, it’s a sign - someone’s trying to tell her, and has been for years now, to quit the dream while she’s ahead.

The voice sounds a bit too much like Oshie’s dad for her liking, so she chases it away with a shot of something bitter and wipes the back of her hand over her eyes. Bittersweet? Yeah. But sad? Hell no. This is her grand finale. She’s going out with a bang, and damn every asshole who ever told her she couldn’t do it, even if they were right.

So it really fucking sucks when she’s halfway through her set, feeling more on top of the world than she ever has before, and she looks up just in time to catch a glimpse of you. Your smile flashes in the strobe lights, and the chain at your throat gleams when you move. Mae almost misses her next line, but she manages to save it at the very last moment. You’re not here with Oshie - a relief - and that means you’re not here with Qimir either - thank god.

You have new friends, it looks like: a button-nosed girl, her hair streaked with neon green, and an awkward-looking pretty boy whose locs are short enough to stick out awkwardly over the side of his head. At least your taste has improved.

Mae swallows her nerves and drops her head a bit, letting her gaze wander over the neck of her guitar. She focuses better when she can’t see your eyes. It’s always been that way, and she hates that some things stay the same even now. Still, she pulls through. She finishes the set and she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t lose her voice or forget her words, and she doesn’t totally bomb like she has every single night before this one.

It’s just enough, but it’s far too late to make a difference. Like everything else in her life.

A heartfelt thank you and an awkward bow are all she leaves in her wake, though she’s not entirely sure she didn’t leave her heart on that stage. Or with you. Either way, there’s nothing left in the gaping wound Mae calls a chest cavity once she’s stuffed into the wings and packing her guitar into its case. There’s only the thunder of adrenaline in her ears and the nauseating turn of her stomach when she breathes.

“Hey, man, great job! You fucking killed it out there!”

It’s one of the techies, an annoyingly sweet gay guy who is so cheerful that Mae’s considered whacking him in the esophagus at least ten times by now. He claps his hand on her shoulder a little too hard, but she smells the vodka off him before she can even raise her hand. Idiot.

Through gritted teeth, she acquiesces with a very polite, “Thank you.”

“Knew you’d bring the house down eventually.”

Oh, ‘cause that makes her feel so much better. “Yep. Thanks.” And she hopes that the aggressive flicking of the clasps on her guitar case will be enough of a sign for him to back off.

God, she needs a drink. Preferably something with vodka or gin so she can forget about everything hammering away inside her head and just black out.

You meet her at the bar. Or rather, you’re already waiting for her by the time she drags her sorry ass out and orders an obscenely titled drink that’s bound to taste like lighter fluid. Your fingernails tap lightly on the glass in your hands, your eyes flickering and sparkling all over like little fireworks. Mae thinks you look pretty when the lights switch from white to hazy pinks and blues.

“Hey.”

She nods once, but she doesn’t allow herself to look above the line of your shoulders. “Hey.”

“You sounded good. I liked your set.”

Of course you do. She wrote half those songs about you. “Didn’t think I’d see you here,” Mae grumbles as she tips back another shot.

And even if she was looking at you, Mae wouldn’t need to in order to know you’re frowning. She hears it in your voice when you very pointedly reply, “I promised, didn’t I?”

You did indeed. But people say all kinds of things when they think they’re in love, and they don’t usually follow through on such promises when the romance fizzles out. Never in a million years would she have held you to an oath you made an entire lifetime ago. She’s not that kind of woman.

Rather than say any of this, though, Mae decides to throw caution to the wind and allow her curiosity to guide her. She turns and leans until both her elbows are resting on the bar. She hopes she looks effortless and cool, but with her luck it’s probably achieved the exact opposite effect.

“What’s with the clique? My sister and her boyfriend not interesting enough for you, or did you finally get tired of them fucking the personality out each other and decide to try something new?”

It’s a low blow. It’s cruel. But when has she ever been anything other than that? The jab certainly hits, judging by the furrowing of your brows and the swirling mess of pain in your irises, and Mae can’t help feeling proud of herself for it.

You take another sip of your drink that outlasts the ticking of irritation in the vein above your eyebrow. “Jecki and Yord. We met at pride last month. You’d like them.” A pause as you consider your words. And then the other shoe drops. “If you weren’t so busy being a dick, at least.”

The liquor in her stomach damn near curdles. “So that’s why you came?” she asks as she forces herself into your personal space, lips curling and her heart threatening to beat right out of her chest. “Wanted to rub some salt in the wound, huh, babe?”

“I wanted to see your last performance. I wanted to support you,” you snap.

Instead of backing down, you’ve stood your ground. You’re not impressed by her petty attempts at intimidation, which leaves Mae feeling lost in the cavernous space between her rage and her desire. Six months out and you still know exactly how to push all her buttons.

“Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you went chasing after Osha like a lovesick puppy.”

The stool you’re sitting on shrieks across the floor when you stand, your face suddenly filling the entirety of Mae’s vision. “I wasn’t aware I had to choose between my best friend and my girlfriend.”

“Yeah,” she snorts, “well, you chose wrong anyway.”

“Maybe if you’d just talked to me like a normal person, I would’ve made a better choice. But you never did know how to fucking communicate.”

She hates you. She hates you because you’re right, and she hates herself because she knows it. And she hates Qimir for stealing her sister, and she hates Osha for leaving, and she hates Sol for loving everyone except her. And most importantly, she hates that she ever loved you in the first place because it killed her to watch you leave, just like it kills her to look you in the eyes now and see what she might’ve had if she’d been a little wiser and a little braver. But she’s never been either of those things. Love is just a game that cowards like her can never win.

“You’re such a fucking idiot sometimes.”

Mae smiles until it feels like her face breaks. “I’ll add it to the list of fuck-ups and grievances.”

The bar’s starting to get fuzzy. Not literally, of course, but wouldn’t that be funny? The walls are growing distant and all the people have started to lose their individuality, slowly morphing into a vague conglomerate of limbs and booze. The vodka’s kicking in. Fucking finally.

Maybe that’s why it scares her so much when you grab her by the hand. She feels your skin on hers and she jolts like she’s been electrocuted.

“Mae,” and your voice is soft again, no longer highlighted with red pen like a failed report card. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t know.”

“Clearly.”

“Mae. Please” You look at her like you do in her dreams, all pleading eyes and backlit by grief.

“Whaddyu want me to say?” she slurs when a surprisingly strong wave of intoxication almost bowls her over. “You chose Oshie. And Qimir. And you should’ve chosen me.”

It’s startling how serious you look when you nod in agreement. “I know. I was wrong.”

The bar glitches in and out of existence for a couple seconds, and for a moment, Mae thinks she’s back in that shitty apartment, sprawled out on the mattress with you, choking on her secrets because you deserve someone better than her. She’d take you down into the rubble and the gore, not because she wants to share it with you but because she’s never known anything else. So she let the prophecy fulfill itself, and she chose perfect misery over imperfect love.

“I didn’t want to come here to upset you.”

Mae blinks and she’s back in the present, looking into your eyes and regretting everything.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I thought I was being a good friend. I didn’t know the kind of guy Qimir was.”

Not many people do. He’s good at the two-faced persona, good enough to brainwash her sister and take you with them like some fucking prized pony, and all for what? Because she turned him down? Because she said she wasn’t interested?

“I wish you’d told me, Mae, but I understand why you didn’t.”

She wishes that, too. But if there’s a common theme in Mae’s life, it’s regret and poor timing. She never seems to do anything in the right order, or anything right at all.

She smiles, and this time she cries. “Yeah, well. You know how it is. I always fuck shit up.” Her throat feels raw and dry and drowning all at once. “Wish I hadn’t fucked you up along the way, but-”

“You didn’t.”

It’s sweet of you to lie, sweet enough that Mae feels her entire bottom lip quiver.

Your palm finds the curve of her forearm, then her elbow, gentle but strong the same way that you are deep in your heart, and Mae feels lost and found and dizzy from it. She finds herself looking in your eyes despite her better judgment, exposing herself like a raw nerve under your surgical knife, but you’ve always been good to her, you’ve never cut her like the rest of the world has. And she misses you. Even if she hates you. Even if she hates herself.

“I’m sorry,” you say, solemn as a prayer, as you draw her into your embrace. She goes willingly. “For everything. I know you can’t forgive me, but I just… I wanted you to know.”

Oh, she knows. She’s always known.

taglist: @wolffegirlsunite @thatlittlered @padawancat97

[redjadethewriter]

A Lovebird Tragedy and a Sisterly Dilemma | The Emotional Chaos of Arcane Season 2 Act 1

Arcane. Arcane. Oh, Arcane. Season 2 has exploded my emotions all over the dang place. There’s so much to love about this series right now.

Jinx is easily my favorite character in the show. She is the most well-developed and complex character, alongside Caitlyn and Vi. Speaking of those two lovebirds, I wanted to share my thoughts and chaotic feelings about Caitlyn and Vi. We’re talking about a significant shift in sapphic relationships here.

I have to admit, and we all have to admit, that Vi is Caitlyn’s weakness in life. But not negatively. Rather, Vi has a knack for bringing out a more vulnerable side of Caitlyn’s personality. It’s something we’ve seen repeatedly, with Caitlyn allowing herself to be emotionally open with Vi, despite Vi being guarded. That girl doesn’t even know how to relax her fists during a hug. So, when we witnessed their first kiss in episode 3, it was a moment of Vi finally letting go of her guard and fully embracing their connection. It was funny, cute, and incredibly satisfying to watch, until it abruptly ended. When it came down to it, Vi prevented Caitlyn from seeking revenge, which solidified the unresolved events of season 1, where Caitlyn regretted not shooting Jinx when she had the chance. But she didn’t, all because Vi tugged at her heartstrings. I don’t see it as a negative thing, mainly because Caitlyn is too rigid and single-minded. We observe Caitlyn starting to slip in how she perceives the people from the Fissure, referring to them as “them” and as animals. She’s attempting to dehumanize them in her mind so that she can justify her actions towards them. It’s easier for her to do her job if she no longer sees them as fellow humans. Despite the destruction and loss of life caused by Jinx, she is still a human being and a child, regardless of what others may think. She’s a child with a fractured mind, filled with trauma, and completely alone.

Silco stepped in to fill the void left by Vi’s abandonment of Powder, but it didn’t bring her happiness. If the world wasn’t so segregated and controlled by the wealthy and powerful, with Zaun’s people being oppressed, I truly believe Jinx would have been a brilliant inventor with the right guidance. However, Jinx and Vi suffered the loss of their parents at the hands of the enforcers, and Vander, their adopted father, at the hands of Silco. On top of that, Jinx accidentally caused the death of the other children while trying to save Vander. This is why I admire her character so much. Her journey from innocence to becoming a villain is truly heartbreaking, because we all know her life could have turned out very differently if the system wasn’t so cruel. Vi, too, was thrown into prison as a teenager, cut off from the rest of the world. She lost her sister and her girlfriend to this chaotic world where blood and blue paint draw the lines.

Let us be honest. I would have to stop Cait, too, from trying to shoot Jinx, not because I wanted to save Jinx, but because of the child, Isha, who was shielding Jinx with her own body. I genuinely believe Cait would have missed and hit the child instead, despite her claims that she wouldn’t have missed. Technically, she missed and only shot Jinx’s finger off. Cait kept going on and on that she was aiming to kill, but she shot off Jinx’s finger instead. Nah… she missed. Given the commotion and high tensions, it’s understandable that she missed. Plus, there was the risk of accidentally shooting Vi in the process. I think she’s rooted in her arrogance again when she makes a decision and speaks.

When Cait retaliated by hitting Vi in the gut to push her away, she finally confronted her own weakness: her love for Vi. However, this love was not a weakness; it was an emotion that kept her grounded and prevented her from becoming overly focused and disconnected from her feelings. Vi was right in pointing out that Cait was behaving like Jinx. Both Cait and Jinx reflect on each other in their experiences of grief and loss, which have twisted them into their worst versions. At this moment, Cait has fully embraced her role as a leader, and her expression said it all. She seeks revenge, and nothing, not even Vi, can hinder her path. We watched as a member of her team walked away speaks volumes about the situation and what is about to unfold.

I just watched the trailer for Act 2, which will release this coming Saturday. Based on what was shown, it seems like Jinx is gathering a lot of followers. The paint job she did on the topside seems to have made quite an impact. What’s even worse is that we learned there are enemies within the capital who are instigating the situation. This has piqued my interest in seeing what will happen next.

Vi undergoes a complete transformation, both physically and mentally. With her dark hair and having no one left, I can imagine she’s more lost than ever in trying to figure out her identity amidst these circumstances. Who does she truly align herself with? It’s neither Cait nor Jinx, so I’m curious to see how this series will end.

Obviously, Cait won’t find solace in seeking revenge, as it never truly heals the pain of loss. The grief needs to be addressed at some point. On the other hand, I fully believe that Jinx will revel in watching the world burn, as it has brought her immense torment and pain. However, there’s a possibility that she may find a sliver of her humanity in Isha. In that one scene, she held onto the child and didn’t let her go, even when Sevika set off the explosion that caused the suction. I don’t think Jinx expected the child to put herself between Vi and her, or to protect her from Cait’s bullets. I’m intrigued to see how this dynamic unfolds.

It’s reminiscent of the situation when Silco took Jinx under his care, except now it’s Jinx and Isha. I see the same cycle playing out. Not that Silco was ever a good person, because he wasn’t, but he took care of Jinx and helped her thrive in her weapon experiments, albeit in a twisted way. Who knows? Perhaps we’ll see something similar with Jinx and Isha, or maybe it’ll take on a big sister dynamic. Either way, I’m eagerly looking forward to the next set of episodes.

[martsonmars]

Thanks @facewithoutheart @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @confused-bi-queer @bookish-bogwitch @dragoneggo @takitalks @bazzybelle @stardustasincocaine @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ivelovedhimthroughworse @johnwgrey for the tags!!!

I don't have much to share today (she said, before talking about 35 WIPs) (edit before I post: I ended up sharing even too much stuff, but I'm leaving this to show that I'm nothing but a living contradiction). My main focus at the moment is a canon divergence I'm trying to finish so that I can concentrate on my CORB fic, but of course it keeps fighting me, and every time I think I solved all the problems, new problems appear. But yesterday I managed to edit the first 3 parts (out of 5 written; there will be 7 parts in the end) (I technically edited the 4th too but at the moment I hate it, so it doesn't count), and here are some random sentences I added while editing:

It was fine—Tyrannus simply didn't like him very much. It was a new experience for Simon—he knew he was funny, and more or less polite, and people usually took a liking to him right away, or at least pretended to do so as long as they were in his presence—but it was nothing he couldn’t handle.

I feel like a five-year-old kid who’s trying to get his uninvolved father to pay attention to him.

(I think [Dad] and Mr Grimm-Pitch might even be becoming friends, ever since Dad found out he saved a herd of Night Mares from poachers.) (My parents have a thing for magickal stock.)

I don’t want to hear the details about [Pippa's] vampire kink, especially since she apparently decided to fan cast Basilton to embody it.

Then, since it's tradition, I must give you a brand new WIP! Under the cut with the tags.

I really want to write something for @carry-on-sapphic-week Pick N Mix, but the main WLW thing I'm working on (Daphne/Lucy I've shared once) has too much plot for me to handle right now. SO I had a new idea—in the canon divergence I'm writing Natasha is alive and happily married, which means no Daphne. But Daphne is my beloved, so I wanted to write a spinoff of my own fic telling her story in this universe where she doesn't marry Malcolm. I'm not sure I'll be able to finish it for this event, but here's the beginning anyway:

“Sorry?” The woman pushes her glasses up her nose and smiles—a genuine smile, two dimples and crinkled eyes, not just a professional smile. “Could you repeat the name, please?”

“Petty, Nicodemus. Born on 17 November 1978, he was struck from the Book on 27 July 1997.”

The woman taps on her tablet for a long minute, the sound of her nails clicking on the screen almost soothing enough to placate the other's nervousness. “It's been six years since every mage ever targeted by discriminatory policies had their magickal status restored, but...” She frowns. “Mr Petty doesn't appear in our records.” She turns to the drawers on her left and runs her fingers on the tags until the finds the P. “May I know who's asking, and why?”

“Ebeneza Petty. I think my brother might be in danger.”

Tags!!! Hoping I didn't miss anyone's post hahaha.

@wellbelesbian @urban-sith @tea-brigade @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @palimpsessed @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @prettylightsbigcity @whatevertheweather @jbrrring @moodandmist @letraspal @captain-aralias @theotherhufflepuff @otherworldsivelivedin @excalisbury @shemakesmeforget @snowybank @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @gekkoinapeartree @bloodiedpixie @angelsfalling16 @basiltonbutliketheherb

[another-fantasy-world]

The Idol’s Inspiration

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆      ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Title: The Idol’s Inspiration

Pairing: Valkyrae || Rachell x Fem! Reader

Summary: In which the international singer find’s her inspiration in a certain brown eyed-often screaming- streamer

Warnings: None? Fluff. Awkward Crushing. Top Rae? (Oh Gosh)

Word Count: 2,905 Words

@short-kid27​ helped me with this one. Go check her out she’s actually great

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆      ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

-

You scoffed when you saw what your bandmate tweeted out, tweeting as if he wasn’t using his phone either. Deciding to throw something at him, you spot a plastic perfume bottle, reaching out for it, only for Luna, your other bandmate to slap your hands of her perfume bottle.

“Don’t you dare.” She playfully glares before turning back to her original position, with her hair stylist tending to her long reddish-brown hair.

“Sebastian, you are so lucky you’re on the other side of the room right now or I swear to God, you would have a concussion.” You frowned, before turning back to your phone, further proving Sebastian’s point.

“See?! What are you even doing?” He loudly asks, you barely hearing him from the noise of blowdryers.

“Writing.” You answered, annoyed. It wasn’t a lie tho, You were now writing a new song, since your management once again are rushing you to write at least 12 songs for your new album.

“We wrote 3 songs yesterday. Calm down.” Your bassist, Luna reassured you, who just finished her glams.

“We’re supposed to be finished with this by the end of the month. How am I supposed to calm down?” You complained.

Ever since your band, Coldify, got enough attention, your management barely gave you enough time to just breathe and write like you used to, How were you supposed to produce quality music?

“Choco Milk?” Jace, your drummer offers you his second cup

“No thank you. Hot sweet things stress my throat. Maybe later though.” You stood up, thanking your stylists, before changing into your casual clothes, since you would be doing a Q and A session first as a soundcheck and also for extra fan service before the concert proper.

Once you finished changing, you walked out of your dressing room, only to find that your bandmates are now all set up, all except you.

Jace is fiddling with his drum sticks

Luna is tuning her bass guitar

And Sebastian is playing a random tune on his electric guitar.

You rolled your eyes at them, before slinging your own acoustic guitar over your shoulder, the familiar weight and pressure of it’s strap makes you smile.

“Are we ready guys? We can start now, there’s only 5 minutes left.” You asked them, plugging in your “in-ears”

They all nodded at you and you guys started to do your signature intro, you playing a few notes on your acoustic, followed by Sebastian and Luna, then you all run out, hearing the screams of your fans intensify, before Jace started banging on his drums, ending your intro with all of you guys harmonizing your band name and lifting your right arms up, showing the compass tattooed into the insides of your wrists, symbolizing your band and the friendship that will never grow old.

“What is up LA!?” You loudly said into the mic, chuckling when they screamed louder than your own mic.

“Well, we certainly need to up the mic volume later.” Luna giggled, sitting on one of the chairs positioned in the middle of the stage.

“Mhhmmn. Let’s all calm down first yes? You guys save your energy for later.” Sebastian winked into the crowd, also sitting on one of the chairs, with his mic in his hand.

“Great, great. We’re all settled in, Please sit down and let’s start this 1 and a half hour Q and A? Soundcheck? Fan service? Whatever you want to call this whole shebang.” You joked, thanking the staff that gave you your own water bottle.

“You know the drill, if you don’t that’s fine. My name is Luna and I am the one who plays the amazing silver-gray bass back there.” Luna introduces herself

“That amazing silver-gray bass that you would marry someday. I swear you are inlove with that thing.” Sebastian teased, earning him a loud smack to the shoulder.

“That is animal abuse. Stop it.” You hold in your laugh, but bursted out laughing anyways when you saw the appalled look on his face.

“My name is Jace. And I bang my sticks into a hallow cylindrical thing for a living. I heard they’re called drums but whatever. I also live with these idiots and I, unfortunately, am the one who holds their leashes.” Jace introduces himself, smiling into the crowd

“Okay, Father. My Name is Sebastian. aka the most attractive one in this group. I play the guitarrrrrr. You guys can call me Seb, Sebastian or Daddy. Your choice.” He winked.

“Ew.” All three of you pretended to gagged, before laughing at Sebastian’s pouting face, your audience also laughing at your antics.

“Okay- Okay, Stop. We need to be serious. Gosh. My name’s Y/N! And I’m your local sapphic lead singer. Yes, I need to say that everyday because people still debate that I’m straight. It’s annoying” You introduce, taking a sip of your water

“Right. So this is how it’s gonna work. There are multiple Coldify interrogators, as we call them, roaming around, all you have to do, is raise your hand, first one they see wins the first question. And the cycle continues until we run out of time.” You explained

“HmmHmmn. So are you guys ready?” Luna asks, earning a few “Yes!” and “WHOOOOO” making all you guys chuckle.

“Okaaaay! on 3. 1,2,3! OH! That redhead with the all black attire. I like that.” Sebastian calls, waiting for the guy in the uniform to hand the girl the mic.

“What’s your name love?” Jace asked the now blushing girl

“Ah. Kadie. I just wanna say that I am such a big fan and I wanted to know if, besides the tattoo you guys have right now, the compass, are you guys still planning on getting a matching tattoo?”

“Ooooh. Tattooes. Hmm. I personally would love to have another tattoo. But you see, Sebastian here cried when we first tattoed. And I am not looking forward to that at all.” Luna answered, laughing when Sebastian whined.

“Oh yeah. No. Not again.” Jace agreed, while you just smiled and nodded.

“Next Question Please.” Sebastian interjected before you could even talk

“Hi my name’s Catherine-” You guys interrupted her to say hi

“Hehe. Hi. Uhm, I wanted to know if you guys have like, favourite youtubers or streamers?” She asks shyly, which made you smile.

“Oooooo. Okay, now you guys get to know why I tweeted that earlier.” Sebastian chuckles

“Okay Mr. Snitch. But uhm. I would have to say... Sykkuno. His voice is just the best-”

“Excuse me? Corpse?! Hello? Corpse has the best voice don’t even. He’s my favourite, what you said was just Corpse slander” Sebastian interrupts Luna, to which Luna answered with a glare.

“Uh-huh. Okay. As I was saying, Corpse’s voice is good, but Syk’s is just this wholesome anime type voice that just melt’s your heart you know? He should be a voice actor for like, an anime protagonist. AND HIS PERSONALITY IS SO GOOD AND WHOLESOME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?” Luna gushes, nodding to Jace before she goes on a full rant

“I’m sure you won’t match with him, expecially since he’s quiet and you’re loud and abnoxious.” Sebastian casually says

“You know what?”

“Pokimane...” Jace speaks into the mic, interrupting the siblings from fighting. “...Because she’s actually a really good gamer, and she also has a cat called called “Mimi” and that’s major points in my book.” Jace says, smiling.

“Hmm. That’s actually a tough choice... I would have to say-” You were interrupted when your phone let out a noise, letting you know you forgot to silent it.

“BABUSHKA!” Your face felt hot as you desperately tried to put your phone in silent, but it was too late.

“My phone just outed me what the hell?” You mumbled into the mic, hiding your face as you hear your fans laugh and coo at your cuteness and embarrassment.

“Anyways, if that didn’t answer your question, I don’t know what will. But uhm, Valkyrae. 100 percent. She’s just really skilled in video games and has probably played more games than me. Also, she’s absolutely fucking gorgeous and I just love her personality and all.” You smiled, still feeling a little bit embarrassed

“I just love her personality- Please, last night you fell asleep to her playing a horror game. She screams alot in that video, I’m just saying. How could you sleep to literally her screaming in your ear?” Sebastian shrugs, ignoring the glares you sent him

“Just this morning, you were frowning because there was another viper on the team Rae was fighting against in Valorant, and you accused that viper of being a copycat.” Jace added

“Or the fact that you always flinch, or dodge and curse whenever someone shoots at Rae-” Luna finishes making you cover her mouth before she says something more

“Okay. I think it’s pretty obvious that I have a crush on Valkyrae but please- Stop.” You grumbled, frowning playfully at your fans when they awed at your band’s interaction.

“Next Fucking Question Please.” You huffed, closing your eyes and leaning back into your seat, trying to settle your beating heart

Rae will for sure see that. Oh my god. Thoughts of Rae seeing your clip of literally simping for her has your heart running marathons.

“Hi! Uhm, this question is for Y/N”

You hear the gasps of your bandmates, but you pay no attention to it since you were still gay panicking inside

“What will you do if you ever met Valkyrae in person?” a familiar voice echoed in your ears, you of course can’t figure out who it is.

“I honestly don’t know how I would react. Maybe faint? But then probably hug her? I dunno? Kiss her cheek maybe? I mean, how would you react if you meet your long time crush?” You answered mindlessly, chuckling silently knowing that you probably faint and be knocked out for God knows how long. Or maybe you’d fumble and embarrass yourself.

You hear your bandmates join in the laughter with the audience, and that made you open your eyes, throwing a confused glace to Luna who just patted your back and made eye contact with who, you presume, asked the question.

You followed her gaze, eyes widening when you saw the brown-eyed brunette beauty holding the mic. Your brain lagged, trying to comprehend the situation.

“Uhm, I mean- Unless, You know? She’s uncomfortable about it. I don’t wanna make her uncomfy, you get me? First impressions are a thing. I mean- I’m just gonna shut up.” You just spat words out before your brain could even comprehend it.

Come on Y/N keep it together. She gotta think that you’re cool. Not an awkward gay mess.

“Pfft- Little too late for the first impressions that included you being cool.” Jace threw his empty water bottle at you

“...I said that aloud didn’t I?” You asked, now trying to hide your face behind Luna’s back, who’s doubling over from laughter

“Please, someone tag me when you decide to upload this very moment. I wanna blackmail Y/N with it.” Sebastian wheezed out.

“I think we can do something with the hugging thing. Just don’t faint on me.” Your eyes snapped to Rae’s as you see the smirk etched on her face, her hands still holding the microphone

Your eyes widen as your fans, screamed and a series of “OOOOOOHHHH” and “Get it Y/N!” erupted, making your embarrassment amplify even more.

“Is it embarrass Y/N day today? God, please- Next Question please. Oh Jesus.” You put your face in your hands, trying to hide.

Thankfully, they didn’t pry anymore, your embarrassment slowly subsiding as they asked about your daily life, career, albums and upcoming awards. After finishing a couple more questions, you guys sang a couple cover songs, and that’s what concluded your soundcheck. (Sebastian managed to sneak in Janet’s PETTY song, which you rolled your eyes on but sang nonetheless.)

You walked out and to the backstage as you shoved Sebastian playfully for making kissy faces.

“Y/N and Rachell sitting on a tree-” He was suddenly cut off by someone

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G” Your gaze wonders to Pokimane, or Imane who just interrupted Sebastian

“Kissing?! Isn’t it a bit too early for that? Why would they kiss-” Sykkuno says glancing between Rae and I

You wondered if they said anything else because you’re going to be honest to yourself, you were only looking at Rae’s eyes. The deep brown orbs you only ever saw through your screen, was now staring right back at you, her brunette hair tied up in a bun- She’s staring back at you.

Quickly averting your eyes, you felt yourself grow shy, you now also find your shoes very attractive.

“Keep your head up or else you would faint on me and I don’t want that. I prefer to hug a conscious person, Thank you very much.” you lifted your head so fast you could’ve given yourself a whiplash. Darting your eyes around Rae, you quickly find that your friends + Imane and Sykkuno have left the both of you alone.

“Sorry. You just caught me off guard there. Hi! Uhm. I really don’t know what to say to you- Uhm.” You rub the back of your neck, nervously smiling at Rae you in turn smirked at you, raising her brow in the process.

She quietly chuckles before opening her arms, signaling for a hug, to which you launched yourself in, trying not to breathe because that would be so weird.

“Okay so now can you take out your knife and stab me just to make sure that this is real.” You stated, looking directly into her eyes

“...But I’m not the Impostor?”

“...Okay that’s clever-” You laughed, taking a sip out of your water bottle, leading her to your dressing room

“Speaking of, do you mind if I play with you guys sometimes? I’ll find time, I promise.” You say, watching the time considering you only have half an hour to change and get ready, not to mention your crush is right in front of you as well.

“Wait really? Yeah! Just DM me on twitter! I’ll organize a lobby just for you.” She replies, plopping herself on the sofa you have.

“Awe, I feel so... special” You smiled, finally composing yourself, emerging from behind the curtains, already in your performance outfit

“The almighty Creator of the Year, creating a lobby? For lil ol m-” You were greeted with a facefull of pillows thrown at you, just for that statement. Which made you laugh.

“Shut up.” She grinned

“I’m sorry, m’lady” You curtsied playfully, expecting her to start smacking your shoulders, instead when you lifted your head up, she was just sitting there with a soft smile on her face.

“You’re wearing my merch.” She stated

You widened your eyes then looked down, the hoodie that you just randomly picked up was her merch.

“I’m sorry, do you want it back?” You spit the words out before your mind could comprehend how idiotic that sounded

Rae bursted out laughing at your statement, putting her hand over her mouth while doubling over. You rolled your eyes at her and plopped down on the sofa, crossing your arms.

“Yeah, Yeah. Go on. Laugh. At least I can spell broccoli right.” You teased, poking her side

“OKAY! LISTEN HERE HOTSHOT! I-”  she was interrupted by a series of knocks on the door.

“Y/N! PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE DECENT AND IS NOT SEDUCING RAE BECAUSE THAT’S JUST WRONG” Sebastian loudly asked through the door

“Oh My God. Please just kill me.” You rubbed your face with your hands

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be the one doing the seducing but okay.” You hear her mumble under her breath, making you look at her with a scandalized look on your face

“DOOR’S UNLOCKED SEBASTIAN. DON’T BE AN IDIOT..” You replied

“Don’t mind him Y/N We’re just coming in to say that you have 5 minutes until we have to go onstage.” Luna softly replies, shoving Sebastian out your field of view.

“I’ll be right there Lune.” You stood up, smiling at Rae

“I guess that’s it. I’ll talk to you later? I think? Just check your DM’s soon yeah?” She pulls you into a hug, kissing your cheek as she pulls away.

“Good Luck out there. I know you’ll do great.” She smiles, walking out, leaving you to your thoughts

“Huh?” You touched your cheek, a smile slowly paints itself upon your face

"Come on, lovergirl we're running late." Jace drapes his arm around your shoulder

"She kissed my cheek." You say, still shocked

"Lucky You." Jace says, his ears reddening.

...lucky bastard

"POKI KISSED YOU TOO DIDN'T SHE?!" You screeched

'Hush!" His cheeks are also red now.

"Huh. I guess today's our lucky day." You grinned, now extremely happy and hyped

"Oh, check your e-mail now by the way. Manager says she sent our line up there." he pats your back, getting into his position, as best as he can considering the stage is now pitch black

"Huh. Okay." You pulled out your phone, sending a piece of paper flying. Bending down to pick it up, you feel your heart soften into mush and then it decides to run another marathon.

Just incase my Twitter DM's don't work, or if I'm streaming. xx 09-xxx-xxx-xxx

"Be still, my beating heart." You sighed out

Valkyrae just gave you her phone number

[akari-hope]

lgbtq+ anime for pride month

decided to make this for anyone looking for new recommendations, or anyone who’s wanted to get into anime but doesn’t know where to start! all recs will include a summary, genres, applicable representation, and how accessible it is to people brand new to anime, as well as any major content warnings.

(a quick disclaimer for those new to anime - some series on here will NOT have explicit rep, but rather be heavily coded or have implied queer themes. however, these are included generally because the implication is strong enough to treat it as text, or because the series has been generally accepted as queer. i’ll be sure to clarify whether something is canon or coded in each entry.)

ouran high school host club (comedy, romance) summary: haruhi fujioka is an honor student on scholarship at the prestigious ouran academy, who’s only looking for a quiet place to study when he runs into the notorious host club. in his frantic attempt to leave, he accidentally breaks a vase valued at 8 million yen. club leader tamaki suou has an idea for how he can pay them back - working for the host club. rep: crossdressing/drag are staples of this series, nothing explicitly stated but there are definite themes of gender identity exploration, and the show doesn’t shy away from homosexual themes or ideas accessibility: newcomer friendly! the english dub of this series is notably good. content warnings: some 2000s-era language in regards to gay/trans people that may be seen as offensive today, one scene that implies intent of sexual assault (while there is no actual assault and it is quickly played off, it may still be upsetting to some viewers)

yuri!!! on ice (sports) summary: yuri katsuki is a professional figure skater, recovering from a crushing defeat at the grand prix final. he returns to his family home to debate what he plans to do for next season. he goes to the local ice rink to clear his mind, and shows his old friend there something he’s been practicing - his idol victor nikiforov’s latest world-winning routine. unbeknownst to yuri, he’s being filmed. the video goes viral, and before he knows it victor is standing right in front of him, offering to be his coach. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: a few scenes that briefly display anxiety/panic attack-like symptoms

given (drama, romance) summary: one day on his way to his favorite napping spot in school, ritsuka uenoyama finds a boy, mafuyu satou, dozing in his spot, clutching onto a guitar with rusted, broken strings. uenoyama wakes him up, berating him for not taking better care of his instrument. mafuyu, noticing his knowledge of the instrument, begs uenoyama to repair it and teach him to play. uenoyama initially refuses, but mafuyu is persistent, even following uenoyama to band practice. it’s not until uenoyama hears mafuyu sing that he changes his tune, offering lessons if he joins the band as their singer. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: discussions of grief and loss additional note: given also has a movie sequel, which has a scene involving sexual assault.

sweet blue flowers / aoi hana (romance, slice of life) summary: fumi manjoume and akira okudaira were best friends in elementary school, until fumi moved away. now in high school, fumi is back and attending the same school as akira once again. their relationship isn’t the same now, though. the two must navigate the new trials of high school while trying to revive their waning friendship. rep: canon wlw romance accessibility: newcomer friendly!

bloom into you / yagate kimi ni naru (drama, romance) summary: yuu koito has always dreamed of the sort of soft, heart-fluttering love in shoujo manga. when a boy finally confesses to her though she feels...empty. she begins to wonder if she only understands love conceptually, but cannot feel it. yuu is still mulling over how to respond to her suitor when she witnesses the student council president, touko nanami, turn down a love confession of her own. she decides to approach touko for advice, but then the unexepected happens - touko confesses to yuu. rep: canon wlw romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: some mild sexual content, depictions of homophobia

stars align / hoshiai no sora (drama) summary: toma shinjou is desperate to recruit new members to the boys’ soft tennis club, which is on the verge of being disbanded due to poor performance. maki katsuragi, the new transfer student, immediately catches his interest due to his quick reflexes. toma persuades maki to join, and maki’s skill quickly becomes driving momentum for the entire team. through their shared sport, the boys of the soft tennis club explore their own capabilities and hardships as they navigate life. rep: canon nonbinary character, discussions of gender identity and sexuality accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: discussions and depictions of abuse, bullying, and violence

mahou shoujo madoka magica (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: madoka kaname and sayaka miki are good friends, regular middle school girls with regular lives. one day, the mysterious homura akemi transfers into their class, and strange happenings begin occuring. they meet a strange cat-like creature known as kyuubey, injured and on the run from homura. as thanks for saving its life, kyuubey offers them a reward - he’ll grant any wish they desire, and in return they’ll become magical girls with the power to help others. homura, despite being a magical girl herself, discourages them, saying everything is not as it seems. rep: sapphic themes and implied romantic feelings accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, unreality, grief additional note: madoka magica has 3 movie sequels, with a 4th on the way. while the first two are merely recaps of the series, the 3rd, rebellion, is a continuation of the story.

no. 6 (sci-fi, drama) summary: the world has been ravaged by war - the last safe haven of mankind lies in six walled-off city-states. shion is an elite resident of one such city-state, no. 6, given priority housing and treatment due to his exceptional abilities. one night, a fugitive by the name of nezumi sneaks into shion’s room, and threatens to kill him. despite knowing he’s a fugitive, shion instead tends to his wounds and shelters him for the night. when his transgression is discovered by the authorities, shion and his mother lose their elite status, and are relocated. now just a regular citizen, shion begins to discover a new side to the city he’s called home. years after their first meeting, he reunites with nezumi once more - their meeting putting in motion a series of events that will unveil the secrets of no. 6. rep: canon mlm romance, trans/nonbinary coded character accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, body horror, insects (bees)

seraph of the end / owari no seraph (supernatural, action) summary: a virus ravages the human race, infecting and killing everyone above the age of 13. their food source now threatened, vampires come out of the shadows to take the remaining humans captive. the children of the hyakuya orphanage are among the survivors. yuuichirou detests the vampires, and is determined to escape. mikaela has hatched a plan to do just that. the hyakuya kids make their way to the exit of the vampire city, only to be ambushed by a vampire noble. yuuichirou is the only one to escape. he’s found by the japanese imperial demon army, who say they’ll use him against the vampires. believing the rest of the children dead, yuuichirou joins immediately, determined to seek revenge against the monsters who killed his only family. rep: implied romantic feelings between two men (in the manga the anime is based on this is canon, and the localization team views the relationship as romantic) accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, death, body horror, unreality

banana fish (action, crime drama) summary: ash lynx is a runaway on the streets of nyc, taken in and raised by the godfather of the mafia, dino golzine. now the leader of his own gang, he begins investigating “banana fish” - the only two words his brother will speak after returning from the iraq war. ash meets his friend skip at a bar, where he’s shunichi ibe and eiji okumura, japanese photographers covering american gangs. however, their conversation is cut short, as dino’s men storm the bar and kidnap skip and eiji. ash sets out to rescue them and continue his investigation. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, drugs, homophobia, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape

wonder egg priority (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: after the suicide of koito nagase, ai ohto is left to grapple with reality without her best friend. under instructions of a mysterious entity, she purchases a wonder egg. ai breaks the egg in the world that materializes in her sleep, and is tasked with saving people. under the belief that she’ll be able to save koito, ai embarks on a journey where she must recognize the relationship between other people’s demons and her own. rep: canon trans characters, sapphic themes accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: blood, violence, death, suicide, self-harm, transphobia, fatphobia, bullying, abuse, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape additional note: wonder egg priority has a special airing on june 30th, 2021, meant to wrap up the original series - as of writing this post, the series is technically incomplete.

flip flappers (fantasy, sci-fi) summary: cocona is an average middle schooler liing with her grandmother, no clear goals in mind for the future. she meets an odd girl, papika, who inites her to join the organization “flip flap”. cocona finds herself dragged along by papika into the world of pure illusion, a mysterious alternate dimension where papika searches for crystal shards. as cocona and papika explore pure illusion, they awaken to the power within the crystals, transforming into magical girls. they must learn to work together in order to unravel the mysteries of pure illusion, and their pasts. rep: sapphic themes and exploration of sexuality accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: mild violence, unreality, mild sexual themes and nudity

noir (action, drama) summary: parisian assassin-for-hire mireille bouquet receives a strange email from kirika yuumara, a japanese student, who invites her to make “a pilgrimage to the past”. mireille makes to dismiss the email as nonsense, until it starts playing a song she recognizes from her youth. when the two meet in person, they’re ambushed by gun-wielding men. to mireille’s surprise, kirika is able to fend for herself - even more surprising, kirika has no memory of how she has such skills. the two of them team up to unravel the mysteries of their pasts, operating under the codename “noir”. rep: canon lesbian characters accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: violence, death, implied rape and csa (not shown)

revolutionary girl utena / shoujo kakumei utena (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: after an encounter with a prince who comforted her after the death of her parents, utena tenjou is given a rose-crest ring, and a promise that they’ll meet again someday. however, utena has now committed to becoming a prince herself! after witnessing the abuse of fellow classmate anthy himemiya, utena is drawn into a dangerous game. duelists with rings matching her own battle for the ownership of anthy - the “rose bride”. utena decides she must free anthy from this fate. rep: canon sapphic characters, implied romance (in the movie sequel, this becomes canon) accessibility: prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is necessary to fully enjoy this anime content warnings: unreality, violence, abuse, homophobia, pedophilia, incest, sexual assault, rape (for a comprehensive, spoiler-free breakdown of all potentially disturbing content, click here) additional note: the movie sequel, adolescence of utena, gives more explicit canon romance than the original series. however, the original series is considered an absolute classic must-watch for sapphics.

if anyone has questions about any series on here, feel free to ask! any other recommendations, feel free to tack on! (please include a summary, rep, accessibility, and any content warnings!)

[sapphic-yearning-lesbian]

A Modern AU

or

Namaari is randomly assigned a night shift in the ER where she meets a patient named Raya, who appears to be suffering from broken ribs. However, the shift takes a turn when Raya flatlines, and Namaari pushes herself to save the girl whose smile is engraved in her head.

Word Count: 2199

Warning’s: Major character injury, and a temporary death

--

Raya and Sisu are being walked into a patient room by an ER nurse called Atitaya. 

Sisu loudly states, “Stupid! All these injuries were caused by stupidness!” 

Raya glared at her as she held her sternum; she felt a lot of tenderness and trouble breathing. She couldn’t see, but she was sure that her rib cage would be bruised if she lifted her shirt. It’s just a few broken ribs, she thought before answering, “Tong was looking at me funny!”  

“He smiled at you…because you tripped,” Sisu replied, rubbing her face with her hands as they entered the patient room.

Once entering the room, Raya quickly jumps onto the patient’s bed, resulting in her groaning in pain. “The details on how the fight broke out don’t matter. I WON: I broke one of his front teeth, his nose, and made it nearly impossible for him to have children again”. She answered as she licked the inside of her left cheek, tasting iron. She must have bitten the inside of her lip when she received a punch to her face.

Both Raya and Sisu noticed the nurse was now nervous. Then again: Who could blame her after what she just heard. But no matter how scared Atitaya was internally, she still placed a pulse oximeter on Raya’s left index finger and a blood pressure cuff on her right arm. Before taking an oral temperature.

“Remember, I work here, Raya! Please don’t scare my coworkers,” Sisu pledges as she looks at Atitaya smiling before sitting down. “Tong should also be a patient of yours tonight. I know this sounds crazy, but we’re all great friends.” 

Suddenly Tong’s voice is echoing through the ER hallways. “ARE YOU OKAY, RAYA” Atitaya jumps as she finishes taking Raya’s temperature.

“I’M ALRIGHT! SORRY TONG, I HOPE YOUR MANLY HOOD WASN’T LOST,” Raya screams back, smiling, as his laughter is filling the hallway once again. She turns to look at Sisu, who is practically crying in the chair from embarrassment. 

“Ms. Hart. I’m going to have to ask you to not scream,” The nurse says in a calm voice, trying not to smile. 

Raya begins to nod in agreement before she starts clenching at her chest before gasping for air. The pain is excruciating. Yet, she is still hopeful it’s just broken ribs, and they haven’t punctured her lung; because that would hurt way more...right?

Atitaya was about to excuse herself from the room to locate Namaari, the nurse practitioner who can order an X-ray and medicine. Yet as she unbadged herself from the computer, she hears three knocks on the door. A tale sign that Namaari was about to enter the room. The three knocks are a secret signal she uses with all her nurses to know of her presence.

“Hello. My name is Namaari; I’m the nurse practitioner this night shift. I heard the screaming and your very muffled voice. Could I take a look at your injury?” 

Raya’s head jerks in the direction of the knocks spotting the new nurse, Namaari. She smiles widely. The new nurse is wearing a white coat over grey scrubs. Her scrubs were tightly fitted, showing that under, she had a muscular figure. Her skin was golden brown, with piercing brown eyes. She also had a very attractive undercut screaming, ‘Sapphic.’ 

Raya also notices a tattoo cuff on her left ear, probably because it’s a safety hazard to wear jewelry in hospitals: They can easily be pulled by angry or upset patients--She lightly bites on her bottom lip before answering, “Are you sure my voice was muffled? Maybe you were just attracted to my voice and needed a reason to come in here,” She felt pretty winded after that finishing her sentence, but she was still able to lift her left eyebrow. 

And yes, Raya was dam aware she shouldn’t be hitting on the hospital staff, but come one. She’s hot.

“RAYA” Sisu screamed from the corner of the room.

Namaari stood at the door frame with a gentle smile on her lips.

Raya assumed the flirting attempt went over Namaari’s head. She couldn’t bear to think the gorgeous nurse was choosing to ignore her. “I would have gotten myself injured sooner if I knew this godly woman would show up to rescue me,” Raya struggles to say as she winks. 

Seconds later, Raya’s body was overwashed with a painful sting “ah fuck” she states as she curls into herself, gripping at her right ribcage.

Namaari was used to patients flirting with her; It comes with the job. However, It’s usually easy for her to ignore flirtations. Yet Namaari wasn’t blind; this patient was gorgeous even in her physical state.

Raya was beaten, a purple bruise appearing on her left cheek, her clothes dirty from the struggle of her disagreement. 

Namaari cannot deny how Raya’s smile made her feel some weird sensation in the pit of her stomach: People call that feeling butterflies. 

This patient was trouble, but that somehow excited Namaari.

Suddenly Namaari remembered the other voice in the room and turned to see Sisu, jumping from her seat running over to Raya. She didn’t necessarily consider Sisu, a friend. Still, she often saw her in the ER because she is part of the psychiatry department. Sisu would often come and evaluate patients for hospitalization. “Quite ironic, how a trauma nurse is in the ER for a trauma injury,” Sisu hummed as she ran her hands through Raya’s hair. 

Namaari forced herself out of her thoughts and walked over to Raya. Looking up at the vital machine monitor. Her pulse was high, resting in the 110s, and her blood pressure was also abnormal. “Call for an X-ray and tell them I okayed it.” She finally says, looking straight at Antitya, who nods and exits the room.

Namaari walks over to the computer in the room, quickly badging in and ordering her some narcotics to give Raya once the broken or fractured ribs are conformed by the X-ray. 

Sisu is just smiling at Namaari from afar as she consoles Raya, who is cussing in pain with each of her breathe’s. 

“Can you please lay back on the bed so I can look at your injury” Raya hears the attractive nurse say. She hums as Sisu lets go of her stepping back, her place now replaced by Namaari smiling gently at her. Raya tried to shift her position to lay herself on the bed, but it hurt so much to do it. 

Raya felt as she was being punched in the lungs if she moved even an ounce. To distract herself from her pain, she watched as Namaari, who looked over at the vital machine, and for a moment, panic showed on her face. Nevertheless, Namaari’s eyes meet hers again as she smiled, trying to comfort her, which she did. 

However, seconds later, Raya felt her brain becoming fuzzy with the pain radiating all over her body, her breathing very labored as she gasped for air. Raya knew she was about to pass out, but she never felt safer. She knew she was in Namaari’s hands, and something deep down within her knew she would be okay.

Namaari watched as Raya’s pulse shot up to 140, while her Oxygen dropped to 87. This wasn’t just a case of broken ribs anymore. 

Namaari quickly walked towards the wall and pulled on a red switch, the rapid code. Its unique alarm went off, and she knew that the call light was flashing red outside. Both these tools allow for the other medical staff to be informed the patient in that room is deteriorating, and further assistance is needed.

Raya’s vision was becoming blurred with speckles of black as she was consumed by her agony. All she wanted to do was scream or even cry, but the pain was so immense that her body forced her to stay silent. Raya felt like a prisoner in her body, unable to communicate what she was experiencing. 

Soon enough, Raya was overwashed with a need to close her eyes; it’s like her body was promising her that if she went to sleep, the pain would stop. She wanted to give in to this promise, but she fought it for now.

Raya couldn’t move, but she felt as the nurse slowly guided her down onto the bed as Sisu cried in the background. The rapid alarm echoed throughout the room, and she couldn’t help but laugh in her mind as this time it was pulled for her. Most times, Raya was running the rapid codes saving people’s lives, yet right now, her life rested in that beautiful nurse’s hands. 

Those were Raya’s last thoughts as her mind went blank, properly passing out.

Once Namaari guided Raya to lay on her back, she quickly placed an oxygen mask on her as the room was suddenly swimming with more staff members. Everyone trying to help in some way, taking blood pressures, starting an IV, calling for a portable X-ray machine, and calling for an OR in case of emergency surgery: as it seemed, Raya did have a punctured lung caused by her broken ribs.

Suddenly Atitaya was next to Namaari. “I told Sisu to wait in the waiting room; she didn’t want to go, but I showed her out” OHH, yea Raya’s girlfriend, Maari thought. 

Apparently, Sisu was screaming in the background, which she completely blocked from her head. Namaari’s excuse being that she was trying to save Raya’s life. “I should have known she was high on adrenaline, and It was muting her pain symptoms--” Atitaya whispered to Namaari.

 Namaari knew her nurse was blaming herself for something she didn’t think about either. She let the girl’s beautiful coffee eyes distract her. And now she’s watching her vitals plummet.

Suddenly a women’s voice screamed, “She decompensating. She’s about to flatline someone start compressions NOW.” Namaari didn’t look up to check who ordered that; she assumed the order was from a resident. Namaari quickly crouched and pressed on the CPR lever under the bed that laid the bed completely flat. She quickly placed her left hand over her right interlocking her fingers after standing up before placing her hands on Raya’s sternum. She began compressions, two inches deep each time. Simultaneously, Atitaya was bagging Raya so she could breathe for her. 

After the first round of 30 compressions; The resident speaks again, “Turn her onto her side Namaari” Namaari did as she was told, recognizing the voice to belong to Amba. Anyways, another staff member slipped a flat board under Raya’s back. Once it was in place, Namaari quickly laid her back down and continued compressions. Soon a tiny monitor was placed below Namaari’s hands, which actually told her if her compressions were deep enough.

After about 3 minutes of constant compressions, Namaari’s compressions weren’t deep enough. “Switch,” She states as Atitaya takes over compressions and Namaari begins to bag Raya. 

Only once Namaari stopped compressions did she notice the room was full of various staff members; the rapid code was now a code blue, a whole different sound echoing through the room. 

It’s crazy, but you don’t hear these changes during an emergency. You only listen to what’s essential to saving the patient’s life.

As Atitaya performed more compressions, the sound of one of Raya’s ribs breaking under her force was heard. Atitaya flinched, realizing she caused her recovery to be longer if she survives. But that sometimes happens; you hurt the person you’re trying to save. Most people don’t mind a broken rib if it means you saved their life.

Namaari was snapped back into the present when she heard “charge to 100” before “CLEAR.” That’s all it took. Raya’s pulse came back. Namaari felt so relieved: She’s always happy to save someone’s life, but today, right now, she’s overjoyed. 

Nevertheless, Namaari doesn’t understand how two sentences from this patient had her heart throbbing within her chest. 

She doesn’t know how or why the relief she’s currently experiencing is so overpowering.

With all these inner thoughts, Namaari still smiles as now she has the chance to get to know Raya. UGHHH, no, you cannot get to know her! She’s dating Sisu...

Stop overthinking Namaari. SNAP OUT OF IT!

“Thank’s, Namaari. We’ll take it from here,” Amba, the surgical resident, says; As a portable x-ray machine is brought into the room to scan Raya. 

Once a resident or doctor from a different unit takes over, Raya is no longer her patient, and she needs to let her go and help another patient. Even so, she left the room and waited outside it to listen in. “She’s punctured her left lung; we need to rush her into emergency surgery, page Pengu. He’s the best cardiothoracic surgeon!” 

Namaari exhaled as she watched nurses and doctors from the surgical unit transport, Raya, off the emergency unit to the operating room. 

Namaari had gotten Raya’s heart to pump again, but the surgery will decide whether she lives or dies. Knowing this, she rested her head on the wall regaining her posture, putting a smile on her face as she heard her name being called from another patient’s room. 

--

Let me know if you want me to continue it! :) 

[hiccanna-tidbits]

So I woke up at 4 am last night and my brain went “What if Jackunzel...but sapphic???”

aND HERE WE ARE

Also look, yes, I know Jackie/Jacquelyn Frost is the go-to when it comes to fem!Jack Frost names, but I just...didn’t think it suited her??? I wanted something a bit more unique, and I liked the sound of Jaina! And then I got very inspired and wrote a ficlet, so ENJOY SOME LESBIAN JACKUNZEL

DON’T TELL ME THEY WOULDN’T BE THE PUREST FUCKING SAPPHICS YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN ALL YOUR LIFE

The first time Rapunzel met Jaina Frost, she asked her if she was a fairy.

She certainly looked like one of the winged creatures from Rapunzel’s storybooks. She floated just off the ground and could flit around the room quicker than a hummingbird. Her hair whipped around her in long white tendrils, thick waves like hills of freshly-fallen snow. It shone like it, too--nearly blindingly when the sun hit it, Rapunzel noticed.

She could ice up the entire floor with one sweep of her staff and would whoop and cheer and laugh so hard she snorted when she slid around on it on her bare feet. All behavior Mother would find very undignified, Rapunzel was sure.

Not that Jaina had ever cared in the least about dignity.

She’d nearly fallen out of the tower window when she first saw Rapunzel poised to hit her with a frying pan. Her next reactions had been even stranger--hooting and doing flips and jumping around because apparently, people didn’t normally see her.

It was nice to have a friend. Mother hadn’t warned Rapunzel off of other girls, although Rapunzel was certain that in practice she wouldn’t approve of them. Not that it mattered. They quickly found that Jaina was as invisible to Gothel as she apparently was to everyone else.

Perhaps it was selfish, but Rapunzel liked that. She had Jaina Frost all to herself.

Jaina gasped in horror when she heard Rapunzel had never touched snow. Her hammy overreaction only got more and more ridiculous as Rapunzel explained she had only ever seen winter from the confines of her tower--and Mother usually shut the window to keep the cold out, anyhow. Jaina clutched her heart at this, pretending to faint in her despair.

“Well, if you won’t just leave and go outside, like I keep telling you you should...” Jaina crossed spindly arms and glared at Rapunzel. “I guess I’ll have to bring the winter to you.”

And bring it she does. When Mother won’t be back until evening, Jaina swirls together soft, cotton clouds and makes it snow in Rapunzel’s room. They make snow angels on the floorboards and toss snowballs at one another from behind dressers and wardrobes and chairs, giggling all the while. Rapunzel’s decided she’s going to blame any water stains left behind on some kind of flooding.

Mother won’t be mad over that sort of thing. She’ll just fuss over her and breathe a sigh of relief when Rapunzel can still sing as beautifully as ever.

When Rapunzel’s birthday rolls around, she confides to Jaina about the floating lights. She’s pushing 18, and she still hasn’t left the tower. Jaina fixes her with a catlike smirk, and turns away.

When she sweeps her hands back, she’s holding some kind of ice-blue cylinder, made of swirling crystals and snow with a crescent moon etched on the side.

“They’re lanterns,” Jaina explains. “The kingdom does a festival with them every summer. I’ve flown over it plenty of times. I could...”

Jaina looks away, and Rapunzel could swear she sees her friend’s cheeks go a little pink.

“I could take you. You know. If you wanted.”

Rapunzel shakes her head. “I can’t. You know Mother would...”

Jaina groans and rolls her eyes. “You’re really way too beholden to that woman, Rae. But if you insist on staying...I might be able to do something almost as good.”

And so they sit on Rapunzel’s windowsill, legs dangling over the side (Jaina can catch Rapunzel if she falls), and Jaina Frost puts on a show. She makes dozens of frozen lanterns and whisks them into the sky, and they float and bobble and catch first the dying rays of the sunset and then the soft silver of moonlight.

Rapunzel’s never seen something so beautiful in all her life.

She glances over at Jaina once, and she’s looking at the blonde girl like she sprinkled all the stars across the night sky the same way she dappled them onto her tower walls. Jaina looks away almost immediately, face reddening.

After a while, Jaina takes to spending the night. It was by accident the first time--the girls were up late having stupid pillowfights and telling each other stories in Rapunzel’s bed, and at some point they both started to yawn.

Before she knew it, Rapunzel was waking up with a faceful of white waves smelling vaguely of wintergreen, cedarwood, and cashmere sweaters. Her arms were curled around a thin, sleek waist, and she felt her heart speed up tenfold.

She had no idea why being so very close to her best friend was making her incredibly nervous, but here she was.

It’s the first of many nights they’ll wake up wrapped up in each other. Always, they claim, by accident--but neither ever seem to mind.

It becomes a routine of sorts. Rapunzel wakes up early and untangles herself before she has to give too much thought to the nervous sweat that nearly breaks out at every point of contact. She tries to get Jaina up too to help with morning chores, and Jaina rolls onto her stomach with her face in the pillow and whines and bitches and moans until Rapunzel relents and lets her sleep for 10 more minutes.

As she sweeps the floor, Rapunzel tries not to think too hard about the placid expression on Jaina’s face as she sleeps. As she mops, she tries not to think too hard about the way Jaina’s face scrunches up when she’s having a nightmare, and the way it makes Rapunzel want to wrap herself around the other girl like a protective shell. As she polishes the staircase banister, she tries not to think too hard about the way Jaina’s eyes shine like sunlight on icicles when her entire face erupts into a grin.

It’s probably peculiar, thinking about your best friend in such excessive detail.

Two years pass, and Rapunzel is pushing 20. When she looks in the mirror, she notices nothing seems to be changing. She doesn’t look any older than when she first met Jaina. Maybe the changes are just too imperceptible for her to notice, but 17-year-old Rapunzel seems to be stuck in a kind of limbo.

She wonders if it has anything to do with her magic glowing hair--the hair that makes her mother’s wrinkles disappear whenever she sings a special song.

She knows it should alarm her, not aging. Instead, she feels a strange kind of relief. There are worse things than being stuck as the same age as Jaina Frost.

There are worse things than not having to grow old and leave Jaina behind.

They’re lying in Rapunzel’s bed one afternoon, the blonde girl sprawled on top of Jaina to carefully brush on eyeshadow. It’s an elaborate picture--a beautiful deep twilight blue sprinkled with intricate snowflakes and rimmed with glittery white snow.

Rapunzel is the only one who will ever see it, but they’re both all right with that.

The eyeshadow is long done by now, Rapunzel getting carried away painting snowflakes and icicles and tiny pine trees on snowbanks dancing across Jaina’s cheeks and forehead. She smiles proudly and holds up a hand mirror. Jaina just snorts.

“You’re going to make me look like a clown, Rae.”

“Hmmmm.” Rapunzel puts the mirror down and continues adding a gleam to a white icicle on Jaina’s temple. “A very pretty clown.”

“You...think I’m pretty?”

Jaina’s gaze turns oddly serious. The timid way she asks it is unlike her.

Rapunzel stops, frowning. “I mean...yes. I always have.”

“Why?” Jaina wrinkles her nose. “I’m a mess. My hair’s always all over the place, and I can’t keep a room clean to save my life. All I can do is make ice, blow cold wind around, and leave a fucking wreck wherever I go. Why would you think I was...?” 

“Jaina! Language!” Jaina just rolls her eyes.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” Rapunzel smiles again. “These have been the most fun years of my life, thanks to you. You stuck around here with me, even when you have the whole world to explore, and I can’t even imagine how boring it must seem in this tower. That’s worth more than you know. And for the record, I think you’re gorgeous.”

Jaina’s cheeks turn redder than chrysanthemums, standing out starkly against her pale skin. “Oh, stop it,” she mumbles. “I look like a gremlin next to you. World’s nicest hair, flawless skin, the face of some kind of Greek goddess or something. You’re a knockout. I couldn’t even hope to measure up.”

“You...think I’m a knockout?” Rapunzel feels a blush of her own coming on.

“Well, yeah.” Jaina smirks. “I thought it went without saying.”

“Nothing really ‘goes without saying’ when you’ve only ever met two people,” Rapunzel points out.

“I guess.” Jaina shrugs. “I forget you don’t have a huge frame of reference. But trust me, ask anyone from that kingdom on the other side of the forest and they’d say you’re really attractive. I doubt any passing knight on a steed would be able to resist you, if they saw your hair hanging out the window like some...cascading sunshine waterfall.”

Rapunzel bit her lip, feeling unsettled by the thought of men on horseback finding her tower. She’d never met a member of the male gender before, and she hadn’t exactly heard good things.

“I don’t know if I want that,” she admits.

“I don’t blame you,” Jaina says. “Half of them are stuffy, arrogant pricks, anyways. Or they’re so sappy and poetic it kind of makes you want to throw up.”

Rapunzel bites her lip, feeling nothing but mild discomfort at the thought of a strange man trying to serenade her. Maybe it wasn’t fair to rule out what she didn’t know, but...

“No, I mean. I don’t know if I want men. Like...at all.”

“Oh. Oh.” A hopeful gleam swims into Jaina’s ice-colored eyes. Tiny, almost imperceptible, but there.

“Wise choice, honestly,” she says nonchalantly. “Even being invisible, I haven’t met many I actually cared to know. I think I’d much rather be here with you.”

Rapunzel wonders if Jaina would feel the same if any men could see her. She wonders if Jaina would still choose her company if some free-spirited, energetic boy was able to see the frost sprite, and wrote her beautiful sonnets about her moon-white hair. Some boy not stuck in a tower with an overbearing mother, some boy who couldn’t hold her back.

The thought fills Rapunzel with an unexpectedly bitter wave of jealousy.

She shakes it off, reaching into the makeup kit beside her and feeling around until her fingers curl around a tube of lipstick. She smiles, pulling it out.

Jaina groans in mock annoyance. “Are we still doing this? Aren’t I going to look ridiculous?”

“Not at all.” Rapunzel uncaps the lipstick and gently slides it across Jaina’s mouth.

The blonde girl leans back and admires her handiwork. She holds the mirror up to Jaina again.

Her lips are a bright, icy blue, like the glaciers Rapunzel can only ever hope to know through the pictures in her books. Slowly, Jaina smiles.

“You look like you could deliver the kiss of death,” Rapunzel teases. “Freeze your true love on the spot instead of awakening them from eternal slumber.”

“Want to test that out?”

Jaina smirks, voice surprisingly bold. Rapunzel can’t help but notice the pink rushing to her friend’s cheeks, though, despite her best attempts to sound casual.

“Huh?” Rapunzel frowns down at her, confused.

Jaina’s smirk shrinks a little, the first traces of fear darting into her eyes.

“Only one way to figure out whether I actually carry the kiss of death.” Jaina shrugs, still trying to seen nonchalant but voice not nearly as confident as before.

“Ah.” Rapunzel smiles playfully. “But if it works, you’ll have to find a new best friend, won’t you? Sounds like a lot of trouble for you.”

“That’s okay, Pascal will just be my new best friend if I kiss you to an early grave!” The chameleon squeaks disapprovingly from the dresser nearby.

“Come on, Rae,” Jaina says. “I really have to know. The curiosity’s killing me here.”

Rapunzel can feel Jaina’s breaths against her own chest, quick and shallow. Scared, almost.

Jaina is a lot more nervous than she’s letting on.

Still, looking down at the curve of Jaina’s lips and the unfailingly cheeky gleam in her eyes, everything suddenly feels just right.

Rapunzel slides her arms onto either side of Jaina’s head. She leans down, and captures Jaina’s lips with her own.

She tastes cold and sweet--like frosty vanilla and mint chocolate chip ice cream. Her lips aren’t perfect--chapped in places, pricked with tiny ice crystals, moving with a sort of nervous frenzy that comes with disuse.

Nonetheless, they feel like home.

Rapunzel slides her fingers into white hair, and it’s silky like clouds. So soft. So perfect.

The only real thought Rapunzel can process is that she never wants to let go. Perhaps part of her is terrified if she does, Jaina will dissolve into the ghost she is to everyone else.

She feels Jaina wrap her hands around the collar of Rapunzel’s dress, pulling her closer. It’s more comforting than Jaina knows.

Jaina pulls away first, hands loosening and head tilting back. She meets Rapunzel’s eyes for a few moments, processing what just happened before breaking out in an enormous grin and a series of delighted giggles.

“You just--you look so dumb,” Jaina chortles. “Like you tried to eat the sky or something.”

Rapunzel glances into the hand mirror, now long since pushed aside. Her mouth is smeared with bright blue, trailing onto her skin in pale smudges.

She smiles. “I can live with that.”

Rapunzel leans down and kisses Jaina again.

Yes I used that one picture of the girl straddling the other girl while putting her makeup on for inspiration for this, what of it???

Also for whatever reason, I love the idea of Fem!Jack calling Rapunzel Rae? I feel like Fem!Jack’s teasing and pet names would be a tiny bit different than boy Jack’s, idk.

I JUST AKSJCUBWSYD

I KINDA WANNA DO MORE FEM!JACK X RAPUNZEL CONTENT

Pic credits available upon request!

[monaownsmyass]

Going Out Of My Mind In My Mind

Requested fic by anon. (If you have any fic ideas or requests you'd like me to write, you can leave me an ask!)

Book: My First Two Loves

Pairing: Ava Lawrence x MC (Emma Price)

Genre: Fluff but make it angsty

Rating: PG13

Warning: Mild homophobic comments

Word Count: 3,611

A/N: Ava is in love with her best friend. She gets lost in her own thoughts while contemplating if she should reach out to MC. Firstly, I wanna say I’m so sorry to the anon that requested this if they wanted a more light-hearted fluff fic lmfao. If you did, please send me another ask lol. Secondly, I wanna apologise to my fellow wlw for including a little homophobia. It’s not that harsh or mean, but it’s there. I thought including it would better portray a realistic encounter of what it’s like to be a wlw accepting her sexuality and exploring her feelings.

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 @jjlover01 @soft-for-drake @dopeyouth @alexroyard @satrinadia @toalltheboysididntlove @mypegasifly @queen-arabella-of-cordonia (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics and if you only want to be tagged for certain pairings.)

The first time I realised I was in love with my best friend was... well, I'm not sure if I'm being honest.

But damn, if that's not the most generic, cliché plot ever for every sapphic film and story ever, I'm not sure what is. However, there was always some truth to fiction and I was no exception.

That was my life. Generic and cliché. Popular high school captain of the cheerleaders who lived in the suburbs and came from a middle-class family that has dated the school's famous golden-boy quarterback.

For far too long, everything was normal. Too normal. Painfully normal.

That is, of course, until I started realising I had feelings for my best friend that was very much into guys. As I've mentioned, I couldn't pint-point an exact date or incident but like a hurricane, it was sudden even though there were warnings signs and it was just as destructive, uprooting and destroying everything I thought I once knew, a force to be reckoned with.

It was utter chaos in a seeming perfect picture but for the first time in my life, I felt alive.

Emma Price was my hurricane. Whether that was a good or bad thing, that was up for debate. All I knew was that I wanted her in my life and didn't care if it wasn't the best idea or if it would hurt me. I just wanted her to be with me.

I think that's the funniest thing about finally having a genuine, heart-wrenching, crush on someone. Even the smartest people get dumb, the most cautious are reckless and the logical becomes irrational. Everything that made sense doesn't anymore because why the hell are you doing things you normally wouldn't do for someone that doesn't even like you back?

I learnt that first-hand and I wished someone would've warned me before that. Not like I would've believed it but at least it would be playing at the back of my mind. An echo in the distance, a nagging voice.

I did the stupidest stuff once I was certain I was in love with Emma. I knew I was in love with her but I was in denial and did things I regretted. Dating other people, trying to make her jealous, downplaying my feelings when I saw her with Mason or Noah. Pushing her away and avoiding her instead of talking to her...

It's different, falling for your best friend. Feelings and signals are mixed, emotions are at a high and everything is just one confusing mess of a relationship that was once simple and innocent.

And now, here I was, laying on my bed, staring at my phone as if it would magically tell me the right thing to do if I looked long enough. It didn't, of course. I sighed, wondering if I should shoot Emma a text. It's been some time since we just talked for fun and I missed her sorely.

Procrastinating, I swiped through my home page. My eyes caught sight of a certain app that I opened ever so often whenever I was missing my best friend.

~*~*~

"Come on! Just download it!"

I scrunched my nose up. "Give me one good reason why."

"Because you’re the best friend in the whole world and you'll do anything I say because you love me?" she said jokingly while batting her eyelashes at me but my heart started racing.

I was acutely aware of her hand on my thigh and the way she leaned into me. My breath hitched at her nearness even though we've been closer before.

That was something else about having a crush on your best friend. Suddenly, everything felt like too much. Every word, every touch, every damn single thing was overwhelming and honestly? It was exhausting. Not only is it emotionally tiring, you go into this weird phase of wanting to savour everything they do and you can't help but wonder why you didn't appreciate these small moments before. You can't help but feel as if you've wasted them all.

If she could sense me stiffen, she didn't show it 'cuz she just went on. "Also, it's about a cartoon cat that eats to save the world! What's not to love?"

"That sounds ridiculous, Em," I laughed. "What's the game called?"

"Dopey Cat!"

"Oh god," I groaned. "That makes it sounds much worse."

"Or much better!" She nudged me and I felt a jolt go up my arm. I always wondered if these simple touches felt the same to her. "Do it"

"Alright, alright!" I giggled and surrendered. "Only 'cuz I'm such a great friend."

"Yes! And like I said," Emma leaned in and my heart dropped to my stomach. "The best."

She gave me a slow, soft peck on my cheek and rested her head on my shoulder, clinging onto my arm and leaving me a flustered mess.

~*~*~

I thought about that moment often. More often then I'd like to admit. Every time I did, the same thoughts would always come to mind.

What would've happened if I kiss her? What if I just turned my head right before her lips touched my skin? Would she have kissed me back? Would she push me away? Maybe she'd say she felt the same way about me.

But that didn't happen, so all I could do was wonder.

And wonder I did.

Being in my room like this, doing nothing, it really did make my mind go everywhere. I've dreamed and cried and laughed and screamed and doing nothing was suddenly the most taxing thing I've ever done. Doing nothing when you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back was the most dangerous thing 'cuz they’re already always on your mind but when you're doing nothing, your thoughts just spirals down an endless pit of possibilities that'll never happen and ultimately, you get hurt.

But knowing this, I still let my thoughts spiral anyway. How could I not when the joy and peace I got from imaging a world where her and I were together was worth the pain and heartbreak?

'Cuz figment of my imagination or reality, it didn't matter, she was worth it.

I've imagine us on dates, having picnics, watching movies, going on road trips, sleeping over, laughing over nothing, at the park, at the beach, in a field, in our rooms.

I've thought about us dancing in the living room at 12 a.m., huddled in bundles of blankets on a cold night, singing along to our song while making breakfast, staying up under the night sky and talking about everything and nothing until sunrise, being able to introduce her as my girlfriend and kissing her whenever I felt like.

I've dreamt about us so much as a couple that I've accidentally mistaken reality for fiction but like I've said, there's always some truth to fiction.

~*~*~

"Congrats on being co-captains, guys!" Iris wished us enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down.

"Seriously, you guys totally deserve it," Toni agreed.

"Thank you!" Emma said.

"You two are the best duo! Our cheer squad is gonna rule with you both leading us!"

"Thanks," I said and pulled Emma in for a side hug, feeling goosebumps from the contact. "We do make a pretty great couple."

I immediately froze when I realised what I said and mentally kicked myself. 

God, that was so stupid! Why was I so careless? I should watch what I say!

That wasn't the first time I've done it and I was sure it wasn't the last, but just like how Emma was always the only one to mess up my constant, she was the one difference between all the other times and this time.

She had never heard me refer to ourselves as a couple but while I was beating myself up, Emma handled the situation coolly. She slid her hand in mine and squeezed which did nothing to calm my wrecked nerves.

"We definitely sure would! She the sweetest, more caring person in the world and I'd be so lucky to call her mine." She leaned into me and gave me a nudge but all I could do was stare at her, eyes wide and brows raised.

Her deep brown eyes locked onto mine and I swear I could feel the spark between our gaze. And what was that I saw in her eyes? Longing? A hint? I wasn't sure but I could've sworn there was something else I couldn't quite decipher. Then again, I didn't really trust my thoughts. If it could make me believe we were actually a couple, why would I ever trust it in this situation? How could I?

I'm not sure how long we were staring at each other 'cuz to me, it felt timeless. We only broke apart when we heard someone making a retching sound.

"Gross! Go get a room," Lauren said as she walked towards us. "No one wants to see two lesbos in action."

I felt her hand fall out of mine and suddenly, I felt very vulnerable.

"You don't have to be rude!" Iris defended.

"Yeah, Lauren, no one asked," Toni agreed.

Emma spoke up. "Go away, Lauren. No one wants you here." She said it in an almost tired manner. She was done with putting up with her and it showed.

"Aw, protecting your lesbian lover? Cute," Lauren rolled her eyes and walked away. "Whatever, later, losers!"

"Don't listen to her," Toni said after Lauren left.

But how could I not?

"Hey, Ava?"

I could hear the sweet voice of best friend calling out to me but it was distant.

Everything was. I didn't feel like I was in my body. All my senses were numb and I felt nothing. Nothing except the raging white heat within me. I was having an out of body experience in the worst way possible and for a moment, I didn't feel human.

~*~*~

Then Ava was definitely different from Now Ava. Then Ava wanted to cry and run as far as she could. But she couldn't. She was paralysed with fear and embarrassment. Now Ava would've just laughed and called Lauren pathetic. Maybe even give her a nice slap across the face if she felt like it. But Now Ava wasn't Then Ava, so why dwell on the past?

The thing is, I didn't want to. But like that dull throb at the back of your skull after a concussion, I just couldn't ignore it. You tell everyone you're fine, and for the most part, you are. But that annoying sensation, constantly reminding you aren't, that you just couldn't forget. That was that moment with Lauren.

Her words played in my mind on repeat for the first week after hearing it. Months later that voice was softer and less frequent, but it was still there.

A lot happened in those months. The biggest of all? I finally accepted that I was gay. No, not gay, a lesbian.

That word Lauren had spoken with a jeer, the word she used to insult me, the word that was meant to humiliate me, I was that word.

That wasn't the only time I heard it used that way but it was the first time it was used against me. Lauren's words was a constant reminder in my mind that being a lesbian was an embarrassment, that I was an embarrassment.

Then Ava would feel a chill run up her spine when she heard that word even though it wasn't directed to her. And when it finally was, her soul left her body but of course, that would've been too easy. Her soul leaving her body would've been the easy way out. So instead, she was forced back into reality and had to find a way to deal with it.

Now Ava knew it wasn't a bad thing. Of course she did, she was one, after all. So why did Lauren's words still haunt her?

I still had to remind myself that it was okay. It wasn't gross or immoral or whatever nonsense they put into my mind about girls liking other girls. And every time I did, the madder I got. At everyone that has ever said anything about it and at myself.

Because how dare they tell me how to feel?

And how dare I listen to them when I knew it wasn't true?

I was at peace with it now. I was at peace with being a lesbian. But being at peace wasn't the same as embracing it, owning it. And I'm not sure if I ever will, but I hope I do.

I wasn't out to anyone, and god, I've never felt so suffocated in my life. I couldn't even tell Emma 'cuz I was afraid of how she'd react. Or worse, that she'd assume I have a crush on her. And the worst part, that it was true. That I couldn't even deny it.

Not being able to tell your best friend whom you've always told everything to made me feel like shit. It ate away at me every time I was near her and whenever we were talking. I always wanted to bring it up but I never found out how. Maybe I will soon, but not now.

Emma had always been understanding. Even when she didn't get it, she would try. She wasn't quick to judge nor did she so easily jump to conclusions but I couldn't help but think that maybe, she wouldn't be so understanding. 'Cuz that's what you do when you overthink. You worry about things that you shouldn't and you create false scenarios and you just, can't, stop.

Which was exactly what I was doing right now.

I sighed, catching myself before I could spiral any further and rolled onto my side, staring out of the window with my phone abandoned on the bed.

It started drizzling and it was getting pretty cold. I moved to get under my comforter and wrapped the sheets around me.

And once again, I closed my eyes as my mind began to wander.

If only Emma was by my side...

~*~*~

"Oh my god! Ava! Stop!" she would giggle as I showered her in kisses.

"Nu-uh!" I'd respond and wrap her up in my arms, still kissing her wherever I could reach as we rolled around on my bed, playing.

She'd try to escape but since I'm stronger than her, it's useless. She's trapped in my embrace and eventually, she'd give in and hug me back.

We'd laughed about silly inside jokes as we let our hands linger over each other's bodies, not wanting to let go.

I'd pull her tight and she'd rest her head against my chest as the rain outside got heavier.

I'd shower her in compliments and she'd blush. We'd talk about life, our hopes and dreams and ambitions. Our plans and future together.

"Would you still be with me?" I'd ask her.

"Forever and always, baby," she'd reply and give me a reassuring kiss.

We'd waste away the rest of the day together and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

~*~*~

But that was just fantasy. She's not here and I'm not ready. Not ready to come out to Emma, let alone confront her about my feelings for her.

I took a deep breath before opening my eyes, as if I were physically preparing myself to come back to reality. I glanced at my phone screen that was opened at her chat. I picked my phone up and got ready to type but I hesitated.

Should I do this?

I didn't have much of a choice though, 'cuz my phone rang and lo and behold, my best friend, my crush, the girl I fell in love with, appeared as the caller ID.

My heart sank but my stomach filled with butterflies. This conflicting emotion wasn't a rare occurrence ever since I fell for my best friend but that didn't mean I was used to it. Fear and excitement coexisted where it shouldn't which only left me with a familiar uneasy feeling.

I only stopped for a moment before hitting the 'accept call' button.

"Hi!" I heard that cheery voice of hers ring from the other side of the phone and I could feel my insides warm.

Hey, yourself." I smiled. "What's up, Em?"

"Nothing much, I just feel like we haven't talked that much." She paused for a while before adding shyly, "And I miss you."

The warmth spread to my cheeks. "I really missed you too."

I heard her giggle and god, was it the most adorable sound ever. "Good to know. What have you been up to?"

Figuring out my sexuality and pining over you.

"Nothing much, just the usual." Liar. "What about you?"

"Just been thinking about you," she said casually and my heart fluttered.

I cleared my throat. "Any interesting stories lately?"

I heard another heavenly laugh. "Too many!"

She jumped right into it, not stopping once and honestly, I never wanted her to. Her voice in my ear was a comfort and I held onto it for as long as I could.

We talked and laughed for hours and I didn't even notice until I glanced at the clock on my wall. Time passed too quickly whenever I was with her, I always felt like it wasn't enough. It never was.

But then again, an infinite lifetime with her would still feel too short. 

"And then, Mack ran out of the house with our dad chasing her in only his towel and shower cap with his back scrubber!" she laughed unrestrained, not holding it back and lighting up the entire world with it.

"Oh my god!" I laughed along with her. "How did she even pull that off? I can't believe I missed that!"

"See? This is why you should come over more often!"

I didn't know how to respond but it was fine because she started speaking again.

"Wow, I didn't realise the time! I should probably head to bed."

"Yeah, me too," feeling disappointed that she was gonna hang up soon even though I let out a yawn. "But I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"For sure! Good night, Ava."

"Night, Em."

"..."

"..."

"Are you still there?" she asked me.

"Uh, yeah?" I replied. "Put down the phone."

"No, you!" She giggled.

I smiled from hearing it. "You!"

"Ugh, fine! Bye."

"Okay, bye bye."

"..."

"..."

"Hello?"

"Emma," I breath out in a light chuckle. "Go sleep."

"Okay! Okay, for good this time, bye."

"Bye," I laughed and before I could stop myself, I added, "I love you."

And I shot up, frozen in place. It wasn't what I say, it was the way I did. Soft and vulnerable and definitely not just a friend proclaiming her platonic love to her best friend.

I heard Emma suck in a sharp breath as if she caught onto it too, and the line went dead silent.

"Ava-"

I heard her whisper but I pulled my phone away from me as if it was poison eating away at my flesh and hit the 'end call' button, tossing it beside me. I didn't hear her finish her sentence and I wasn't sure if I could handle it if I did.

Shit!

I hit my palm against my face and slid it down, groaning. How was I gonna face her tomorrow?

Just then, I heard my phone go off. The ringtone I had set just for Emma played and I swear I felt my heart stop.

Nervously, I glanced down at my phone to see the notification that popped up.

'I love you too <3'

Warmth spread through my body and I let out an involuntary grin. I fell back onto the bed with my arm covering across my face.

I glanced back at the message and made a high-pitched squeal that I never in a million years thought would come out of my mouth. Leave it to Emma to make me do things I normally wouldn't.

My heart raced in my chest.

She may not have meant it the way I have but it didn't matter because hearing her tell me she loved me was all I needed.

That was another thing about having a crush on your best friend; the I love you's were up for interpretation.

I placed the phone on my chest and let my arms sprawl out on the bed. Whatever sleepiness I had left my body, there was no way I could go to bed now.

So instead, I let my mind roam but this time, willingly. I let my thoughts free fall through a million different possibilities as the night turned to day. 

I watched the sun rise.

And I smiled.

Because falling in love with my best friend was messy and complicated and heart-shattering. But it was also full of excitement and exhilaration and anticipation.

It was rollercoaster of emotions, full of ups and downs and twist and turns and even loops, but that's what made it thrilling. And for the first time in my normal life, I had something to keep me on my toes.

And I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Was my best friend also in love with me? I didn't know. Would I ever know? Maybe, maybe not. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little curious to know how she feels, be it good or bad. Maybe someday I'll ask her. Maybe I'll get to hold her. Maybe she'll never speak to me again.

But until then, all I had were the stories I've made up in my mind.

(More fics!)

[tiamat-zx]

Beau/Yasha: A Story of Sapphic Sentinels

Beauregard Lionett. Yasha Nydoorin. Two broken hearts trying to hold the pieces together so tightly that they can’t afford to let their guards down. And then they first meet in Trostenwald, and from there we have a rather complex progression into their relationship.

Whether it may end in them becoming each other’s Second Loves, or just very tight platonic friends who don’t mind occasional flirtation on the side, or perhaps something else entirely, that’s still nowhere close to being determined yet. That said, I’d like to offer my own introspective on their relationship thus far. It’s purely my own insight which may be different from others, so please bear with me.

(LONG POST. You’ve been warned.)

The way I see it, at the very beginning Beau only had a physical attraction to Yasha born purely out of lust and her own need to use sex as a distraction from her own trauma and fears, thus her relentless flirting. It didn’t bother Beau much at the time, thinking Yasha was flustered because she was playing hard to get.

But then the Iron Shepherds happened, and Yasha and Fjord and Jester were taken from them. And then Mollymauk, Yasha’s closest friend in the carnival, had died and Beau blamed herself for it, refusing to let it happen again and chose to devote her every effort into getting them all back into their fold safe and sound, only for Yasha to leave them again for a short time before reuniting in Nicodranas and joining them as they ventured to Xhorhas.

And then after some time, Yasha confided in them about being a widow and having a wife: Zuala. Hearing that, and hearing that Yasha herself actually ran away from her wife’s execution, made Beau react with a simple “Oh” because it reminded her of when she lost her first love, her partner in crime who was left to rot in jail when Thoreau bailed his daughter out and, no doubt soon right after, shipped her off to the Cobalt Soul to quash her rebellious nature and make her more “pliable” to behaving. Thankfully for Beau, and for her companions, that didn’t stick and it only refined her body and mind into the Expositor she would later become. Not because of him, but in spite of him. Because while his actions did pave the foundation for her future growth, it was Beau herself that laid down the roadmap, her own path.

And then while in pursuit of Obann, they had a campfire conversation in the Barbed Fields. And that was their first real moment of bonding and it wasn't even close to what most Critters expected: it was a show of vulnerability and solidarity talking about losing loved ones as Beau confided in Yasha about Tori and that she understood Yasha’s pain, even if it was nowhere close to that level. And I believe it was around this time that Marisha stated that Beau's not interested in a deeper relationship than that (and also that she didn’t want to say or do things that would give shippers the wrong impression). That said, though, it did make Yasha think more about this monk that she met months ago, understanding that she’s not alone in grieving a loved one being lost and that may have opened up a possible development in their budding relationship.

But then Obann happened. And I think it was during this time that Beau’s feelings toward Yasha changed. Suspicion gave way to concern. Concern gave way to determination. Determination to get her back. To make their family whole. And now that I think about it, Beau was very reliant on Jester’s strength of heart in the time that Yasha was gone, unafraid to confide in her whenever she was distressed. I feel it was during this time that she realized she had a crush on Jester and fell in love with her best friend. And yet, I do feel that she might see it as getting her hopes up; she doesn’t know how Jester would respond. After all, Jester loves everybody and Beau also doesn’t want to overstep her boundaries with Jester any more than she already has, lest she screw up and make things unbearably awkward.

So even when Beau realized she was harboring a growing crush on her best friend, she knew it would be a very unlikely outcome for her. So she diverts her focus from that to saving Yasha from Obann. And despite the numerous failures, she and the Mighty Nein eventually made headway, destroyed the Permaheart, and exposed the Angel of Irons’ true identity. Also, Beau was able to suss out that the abyssal rifts opening up were happening on both sides of the conflict, proving her earliest suspicions that the war was one big distraction. And she was right: it was an elaborate gambit in a plot to release Tharizdun, the Chained Oblivion, from the Abyss.

This plot came to a head in Rexxentrum, in the Chantry of the Dawn. Beau almost died twice that day: once by Yasha’s hand, and once by Obann’s. But she still survived. As for Yasha, had she slain Beau that day, piercing her heart with the Skingorger as if piercing her own, in an ironic reflection of Molly’s own demise, she would’ve taken her own life because that would’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back. But (and this is just my own theory that may or may not be true considering that sometimes she had some small control over herself even when “chained” by Obann) she didn’t and she resisted making that last fatal twist. But just barely.

And because she resisted, and because Beau was able to survive, Yasha was saved. Sure, Caduceus broke the shackle, but it was Beau's forgiveness and refusal to blame Yasha despite the glaring scar in her own chest that SHE caused. That's what saved her. Even though Yasha slew many Cobalt Soul monks earlier back in Zadash, and almost killed her, Beau still didn't blame her.

She couldn't.

And then the return to Kamordah. The reunion with Thoreau and Clara Lionett. Beau meeting her baby brother, her “replacement”, for the first time. Beau’s resolve eroding in real-time as she tries to hold it together the whole time. And Yasha lingers behind to call out Thoreau, saying that he should’ve shown his daughter how lucky he was to have her. And she shows no hesitation when confronting Isharnai the Prism Sage, intent on protecting Beau from any further misery the hag could impart upon her, even if it meant destroying her own happiness.

That right there? I think that was when it began to truly change for both of them. And by the time they arrive back in Nicodranas in time for the peace talks, they are slowly growing closer again, going back to being casual and flirty but this time YASHA is the one also returning the flirting, which I’m glad for because the fish market scene was hilarious and heartwarming in equal measure, as was the joining in of Jester’s crafting time.

And then the harp performance. Beau saw Yasha in a new light as she played. A healing light. Way back in the Barbed Fields, Beau knew that there was something about Yasha that she was excited to see. At first glance, one would assume this was foreshadowing to Obann taking her away. But upon reflection, I don’t think Beau was expecting her own words to end up referring to this. And the look on her face and the exhale of breath she makes after mentioning that Yasha’s playing was amazing, that was probably when it hit her.

She’s in love with Yasha.

Which brings us to the events after the specter ambushed Beau and dropped her flat with a single gaze as Fjord AND Yasha dove in to heal her and get her back on her feet (it’s totally a competition, trust me). Now, in the past Beau would always refuse to be cared for or even admit when she needs to rest. But then she asks Yasha to carry her just like back when they first met and Yasha reluctantly did so at that time, though not to the extent that Beau would’ve liked.

And then here in the present time Yasha does so again, but without hesitation or embarrassment. And not once does Beau hide her contentment, living her best life and loving that she's being pampered by both Jester and Yasha even when everyone is aware of it.

Will this lead to a confession between the two Sapphic Sentinels? (That’s my new nickname for them, come at me lol)

Well, not quite yet, as it's up in the air as to who will bring it up first. That, and lingering questions and doubts about Beau’s feelings for Jester as well as what Yasha herself is thinking as she seems content with still loving Zuala but allowing her heart to make room for another after all this time.

Honestly, if anything, it might be Yasha who makes the first move and goes to confront her fear head-on and confess. But like everything else in their relationship, that remains to be seen.

[artificialqueens]

White Noise (What an Awful Sound) Ch.2 (Crystal/Gigi) - Meta

A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter! I’ve been having a lot of fun writing it. Please leave any feedback/opinions/suggests you have, I love reading what people think about my work! :)

“Gigi, breakfast is ready!” The sound of her mother’s voice woke Gigi up. She rolled over to check the time on her phone, 9 am. Ugh, who the hell wakes up this early on a Sunday? Her parents must really be laying into the new “suburban” lifestyle. Breakfast together early every morning, family dinners. Oh maybe they’ll even have movie night! Gigi ignored all the texts she’d received from her friends back home while she was asleep, rolling herself out of bed and walking to the bathroom. She rummaged around in the box labeled “Gigi’s Toiletries” in her mom’s beautiful cursive. Pulling out her face wash and moisturizer before turning to the sink where her toothbrush rested from the night before.

Once back in her room Gigi picked out an outfit for the day. Scanning through the clothes she’d already put away in her closet, she decided on a long, pale green skirt that had a small slit revealing some of her left leg and just a cropped white shirt. Gigi gave herself a quick once over before rushing downstairs.

“My god, would you look at that. Sleeping Beauty has finally joined the rest of the living.” Gigi’s dad said. He was sitting at their dining table sipping coffee out of a mug and scrolling on his phone. Gigi was willing to bet all of her savings he was looking at Facebook. These damn 40’s somethings, always on their goddamn phones. Just shameful.

“There’s so evidence to prove I’m not sleep walking right now.’’ She said, taking a seat next to her father.

“You washed your face, brushed your teeth, and got dressed.” Gigi’s mother replied, poking her head out of the kitchen.

“Right…so what’s for breakfast?” She eyed her father’s plate but he had already eaten what was on it.

“Cereal for you since you decided to take so long.”

“Paul stop it,” Her mom hit his arm playfully before putting a plate of waffles in front of Gigi, “apparently, your father’s version of unpacking the kitchen is only taking out the waffle iron.”

“Hate to say it but I’m not surprised.” Gigi said.

“I am shocked and appalled by how little you two think of me, really. Just wow.” He replied, feigning hurt. Gigi’s dad stood from the table, taking his plate into the kitchen and placing it in the sink. He whispered a small ‘thank you’ before pulling Gigi’s mom in for a kiss. The teen just ignored her parents, public displays of affection were normal in their house. Gigi had a theory that her father was so affectionate to make up for how much time he spent at work back in LA, always hugging, kissing, or holding her mother’s hand just to let her know he’s still there.

“Anyway, Gigi honey, your father and I need to go to the store and get some things for the house. Do you want to come with us?” Gigi just shook her head, she could use this time to unpack her room some more. “Okay, well we should be home before 4. Please don’t forget, we’re going over to have dinner with the Methyd’s at 5.”

“I will be ready, promise.”

Her parents made their way out the front door, her mom yelling something about wearing a jacket if she left the house. Please, like Gigi was gonna leave the house. Where would she go? To hang out with all her friends here in Missouri? No Gigi was going to go back upstairs and unpack her room. She hated living out of boxes, even if it had only been a day. Back home she waited until the very last second to pack up all her things. Nicky, her best friend, had told her to ‘stop stalling and pack your shit already’ to which Gigi argued that she hadn’t been. Now she was willing to admit Nicky had been right. Just because she refused to throw some random crap she’d had all her life into a box didn’t change the fact that the ‘For Sale’ sign outside her house was real. But now Gigi was ready to settle into her new room.

About an hour later Gigi had made good progress on her room. She’d just finished organizing her books when she heard a crash followed by a lot of expletives that she was glad her parents weren’t around to hear. Gigi walked over to her window, trying to see what was going on. She chuckled to herself as she watched Crystal struggle with an easel on her porch. “Oh my god she’s losing a fight to a fucking easel.” Gigi said, slipping on a pair of white sandals before running downstairs and out the front door. She made her away across the street, still smiling at the sight.

“Want some help?” She asked, finally reaching the other girl.

“Jesus, fuck. You were not supposed to see this.” Crystal laughed. She ran a hand through her curls before looking up at Gigi, a fake pout painted across her face. She is way too adorable for her own good, holy shit.

“Well, too bad.” Gigi said. She bent over and started picking all the art supplies that, she guessed, had been knocked over during the struggle.

“I can’t get it to stand up. I don’t know what’s wrong, it was fine up in my room.” Crystal sighed, giving up and letting it drop to the floor. Gigi nodded.

“Okay, well how many times did you let it do that?” She joked.

“I-I may have dropped it three times while dragging it down the stairs, yeah.”

“I think I may know what your problem is.” She said.

“Wow, you know I am so glad Missouri has someone of your intelligence level living in it now. If it wasn’t for you I would still be fighting for my life against that thing.” Crystal pointed in disgust towards where the easel lay on the porch. Gigi just laughed in response. A silence fell over the girls. To Gigi’s surprise, for one of the only few times in her life, it wasn’t an awkward silence. Crystal wasn’t expecting a response from her, instead she turned her attention to focus on organizing her paints.

“Uh, okay, I, um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out today?” Gigi shifted in her spot, running a hand awkwardly through her hair. Crystal raised her eyebrows and smiled.

“Actually, I’m just not entirely sure I can handle a full day with you,” Crystal said. Gigi’s eyebrows furrowed, “I mean you just have such an overpowering personality.”

“Right, yeah, I’ve heard that about myself many times.” Gigi nodded in relief.  Just as she finished talking Crystal phone vibrated, she pulled it out of her back pocket to check the notification.

“Well Ms. Gigi Goode, you’re in luck. My friend Lux just asked me to go thrifting with her. Wanna come?” Crystal stood up and walked closer to Gigi. She bit her lip while waiting for the brunette’s response.

“Oh um, yeah sure. I’d love to.” Gigi said. In that moment she was positive she would’ve said yes no matter what Crystal invited her to.

Crystal ran inside to grab the keys to her car and say bye to her mom before dashing back to Gigi and grabbing her hand, “Okay let’s go.” She pulled Gigi toward her car, her skin burning where they’d made contact. Crystal’s car was very old and a horrendous mustard color but she loved it because it got her away from her parents. She was the only one in her friend group with a car, which meant all her friends loved it too. Gigi had to admit, Crystal was not a very good driver. She was always just a little bit too far over the speed limit for comfort and drove with her left leg up on the seat. They drove in silence, well Gigi was silent. Crystal couldn’t help but sing along to every song that came on as they made their way in town to the thrift store. Crystal’s taste in music was definitely different from Gigi’s, playing songs from King Princess, Cage the Elephant, and Hozier, whereas Gigi was more of a pop girl. She basically played Dua Lipa on repeat 24/7. Sitting so close to Crystal while Cherry Wine played throughout the car made Gigi feel overwhelmed, she tried to slow her breath as she stared down at where their hands both rested on the console. She resisted the urge to intertwine their fingers together, missing the feeling from earlier. She studied the other girl’s fingers, the way they dance ever so slightly to the music, the chipped purple nail polish she wore. She had rings on almost all of her fingers.

“You okay?” Crystal asked, glancing at Gigi out of the corner of her eye. She looked like she was going to be sick. But as soon as Crystal spoke Gigi snapped out of it, smiling and peeling her eyes away from their hands to look up at Crystal.

“Yeah, just uh- never mind.” Gigi stopped herself from saying something stupid. She felt foolish, she hadn’t even known this girl for 24 hours and she already had the urge to profess her love to her. She didn’t even know if Crystal was gay. Well, actually that’s not true, she listened to King Princess and Lana Del Rey. The girl was definitely some flavor of gay. Plus nobody that dressed like that was straight.

“What? No, tell me!” Crystal pouted.

“It’s nothing. Just your music makes me feel like I’m in a coming-of-age movie or something.” Gigi said. She tried to fight off the blush creeping across her cheeks. Crystal just laughed, making Gigi regret she said it.

“I like to listen to this kind of music when alone or like painting. It makes me feel calm and inspired. Or like I’m gonna be the next great sapphic artist,” Well, shit, there it was. The confirmation Gigi needed to insure her gaydar wasn’t completely broken. She swallowed hard, not wanting to show any reaction. “I just need to find my muse.” Now it was Crystal who was stealing glances at their hands, moving her hand just close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from Gigi’s. Missing that same heat when she reluctantly pulled her hand away so she could pull into a parking spot.

The girls made their way into the small shop that was filled with very loud clothes. The way Crystal dressed suddenly all made sense. There were only three other people in the shop, they were all standing together loudly talking about how horrendous the huge bubble gum pink dress in front of them was.

“Oh thank fuck, finally. Crystal you have to try this on!” One of them said, grabbing the dress off the rack and running up to Crystal. She stopped and gave Gigi a confused, but welcoming look. The girl looked so much like a fairy, Gigi had to suppress the urge to ask her how Tinker Bell was.

“Hi, I’m Daya.” Another girl, the tallest in the group, came up to them and put her hand out for Gigi to shake.

“Gigi,” She said, taking her hand. Gigi couldn’t help but notice how pretty they all were. What the hell is in the Missouri water?

“That’s Lux,” Crystal said pointing to the small blonde who was being swallowed by all the fabric of the dress she was holding, “and that’s Daegan.” Crystal pointed to the girl who was standing next to Daya.

“I really like your hair.” Gigi said, looking at Daegan’s bright pink hair. She wished she could pull off a color like that but alas she was destined to have boring brown hair for the rest of her life.

“Oh, my god thank you.” Daegan said, “I like her, Crystal can we keep her?” She made puppy dog eyes toward the girl who just laughed.

“Excuse me, hello?!” Lux huffed from under the dress, “Can we get back to Crys trying this on please.” She whined.

“Holy shit, yeah babe you have to try it on.” Daya said pushing past Gigi and taking the dress from Lux. Gigi felt her heart drop into her stomach. Babe? Crystal had a girlfriend? Not just that but a fucking hot girlfriend? Ugh the homophobia of it all. Gigi just walked over to the nearest rack and started looking through all the clothes, trying to ignore the giggles coming from Crystal as Daya pushed her into a dressing room.

A few minutes later Crystal emerged from the dressing room, pulling the thick velvet curtain back dramatically. She walked confidently out into the middle of the store and spun around for all her friends to see.

“You’ve never looked better.” Daegan said as she pulled her phone out to take a video of Crystal dancing around like an idiot. Crystal curtsied and let out a ‘thank you’ in a horrible British accent.

“I think we found your prom dress!” Lux added jumping up and down like a little kid. Crystal made a disgusted face.

“I’m not going to prom, and even if I was, I would never wear a dress.” She put a finger in her mouth and pretended to throw up.

“Ugh not this again. Crystal Elizabeth Methyd you’re going to prom, you have to,” Daya crossed her arms and stared sternly at Crystal for a few seconds before giving up and turning to Gigi, “Tell her she has to go to prom.”

Gigi looked between the girls confused. What kind of power did they think she had over Crystal? They’d just met, you couldn’t even classify them as friends yet. Shouldn’t Daya be the one to convince Crystal, she’s the one that’s her girlfriend here not Gigi. “I-I’ve never been to prom before but I’m sure it’s really fun. My mom says everyone should go to at least one of their proms.”

Crystal rolled her eyes, “Your mom sounds like mine.” Why couldn’t her friends just leave it alone? She already told them a million times she wasn’t going, although the thought of seeing Gigi in a prom dress did intrigue her. Crystal turned around and walked back into the dressing room.

The girls stayed in the shop for a couple of hours, trying on ugly hats and way too big sunglasses, before Lux declared that they had to leave because she was hungry. Crystal bought three button up shirts, that Daegan said looked something her dad would wear, and a bright turquoise and pink windbreaker that Gigi’s mom definitely would have owned in the 90’s.

They all climbed into Crystal’s car, Daegan complaining that making her sit in the back was transphobia. Crystal just ignored her and opened the passenger door for Gigi. She felt awkward in the front, shouldn’t Daya be sitting here so they could hold hands or something? Gigi ignored her thoughts, enjoying the way Crystal’s perfume smelled.

Being in the car with Crystal’s friends was very different than being with just Crystal. Daegan immediately stole the AUX to play Megan Thee Stallion, Doja Cat, and Nicki Minaj while Lux complained that she wanted to listen to Grimes. Crystal just ignored them trying to focus on driving with all the yelling going on around her.

They had finally calmed down, Lux accepting that there was no chance in hell Daegan was changing the music for her, until the question of where to eat came up. Daya voted for Taco Bell while Daegan complained that they had Taco Bell last time. Lux suggested Chick Fil A before being shut down by Crystal, reminding her that they no longer supported the restaurant because of their anti-lgbtq beliefs. Lux rolled her eyes while Daegan joked that the only reason she ate there was because their hatred for her existence made it fun.

“What about pizza?” Gigi offered. Before anyone could protest Crystal said yes, giving everyone in the back seat a stern look. They all murmured reluctant okay’s before changing the subject to gossip about someone from school.

They finally pulled into a small pizza place with picnic tables scattered out front and a burnt out sign that read ‘The Big Slice’. Daya and Lux grabbed a picnic table while Crystal and Daegan went in to order, Gigi opted to stay outside and wait for them to come back.

It was kind of awkward without Crystal there and Gigi found herself racking her brain for something to say. The other girls hadn’t said anything since they sat down either, instead staring at their phones.

“Uh, so uh Daya how long have y-you and Crystal been dating?” Gigi asked, nervously looking between her and Lux.

Daya choked back a laugh, “What? Crys and I aren’t dating. Ew that would be like dating my sister.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I-I just heard you call her babe and assumed.” She couldn’t help but feel relieved, hoping her face didn’t show it. Lux busted out laughing at the idea of Crystal and Daya together and couldn’t stop.

“I call everyone babe, don’t worry.” Daya assured her. Gigi swallowed, oh god could she tell that Gigi liked Crystal. She thought she had been discreet when she looked at her but apparently not.

“Oh I’m no-” She started to protest.

“What’s so funny?” Daegen asked as she and Crystal made their way to the table. She sat in between Daya and Lux while Crystal planted herself right next to Gigi.

“S-she,” Lux tried to get out, pointing at Gigi, “she thought you two were dating.” Daegen joined in and after a couple of seconds Daya found herself laughing too. Gigi tried to laugh but it just came out as an awkward chuckle. The only one who wasn’t laughing was Crystal. She wore a horrified expression, her eyes bouncing between Gigi and Daya. “Why, why, uh um why would you think that?” Crystal’s eyebrows furrowed as she turned attention completely to Gigi. But she just shrugged and said it didn’t matter.

The conversation was forgotten as soon as the waitress brought out the pizza and everyone was too busy stuffing their faces to talk about how bad of a couple Crystal and Daya would make.

As time passed it became easier for Gigi to be around Crystal’s friends, she actually enjoyed how loud they all were. With everyone else fighting to talk over each other no one really noticed Gigi’s lack of input. Thank god, she used to hate how her friends back home would always try to pull her into the conversation. Why couldn’t they understand if she had something to say she would goddamn say it.

“Oh shit. It’s almost 4. My parents are gonna be home soon and I promised I would be there to get ready for tonight.” Gigi said looking down at her phone. She started to stand up from the table.

“Oh okay, I’ll uh drive you home.” Crystal said, standing up too.

“You don’t have to, I can just walk or uh call a lyft or something.” Gigi said, secretly hoping Crystal would insist.

“Excuse me, what about us?” Lux whined.

“Also what’s tonight?” Daya asked.

“Huh? Oh Gigi and her parents are coming over for dinner.” Crystal mumbled, knowing there was bound to be teasing from her friends. They all raised their eyebrows but before any of them could say anything inappropriate Crystal pushed Gigi toward her car. Crystal yelled at them to find their own way home.

“I hate you, bitch!” Daegen shouted at Crystal. She just put up her middle finger and held it up as she climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Don’t let her make you listen to One Direction Gigi!” Daya added before Gigi closed her door, unable to hear them anymore. She couldn’t help but laugh.

The drive was quiet, but this time it wasn’t a comfortable silence. Both of them wanting to say something but too afraid to say it. Crystal put on the same music from before, calm love songs that made Gigi feel like she never wanted them to stop driving.

“Why did you think I was dating Daya?” Crystal asked abruptly, pulling Gigi out of her daydream.

Gigi’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?” God why was she bringing this up again? Gigi never wanted to think about that again.

“C’mon I wanna know,” Crystal pouted, “please!” She begged, turning to look at Gigi.

“It’s nothing, I uh, heard her call you babe and I just assumed,” She shrugged trying to look anywhere but at Crystal.

Crystal didn’t respond, instead they just fell back into uncomfortable silence. Gigi tried to come up with something to say. God the one person she actually wanted to talk to and she couldn’t come up a single fucking thing to say.

“This doesn’t sound like One Direction.” Gigi said.

“Yeah I uh, I only bring that out with people I like,” Crystal shot her a devilish smile, “sorry.”

“You’re such an ass, oh my god.” Gigi laughed, hitting Crystal lightly on her shoulder. She watched as Crystal picked up her phone and unlocked it, quickly changing the song to ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ making Gigi laugh even more. “That’s more like it.”

Crystal finally pulled into her driveway, reluctantly putting the car in park. Gigi lingered in the passenger’s seat, not wanting to miss the heat from Crystal’s body. She slowly unbuckled her seat belt, grabbing the handle to the car door.

“So uh, I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” Crystal asked, unbuckling her own seat belt.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m looking forward to it.” Gigi pulled herself out of the car.

She was halfway down Crystal’s driveway when she heard her name. Gigi spun around to face her, “Yeah?”

“I had fun, uh with you,” She stopped as if she was searching for a difficult word, “today. I had fun with you today.” She ran a hand awkwardly through her hair.

Gigi chuckled, “I had fun with you too, Crystal.”

“Okay, good.” Crystal spun around and stumbled cheerfully up the stairs of her porch, turning around to wave at Gigi one last time before disappearing into her house.

Gigi continued walking back to her own house, smiling the entire way.

[obxfics]

Saltwater Petals on Our Skin

summary: someone moves into shop next door to the Pogues’ surf shack

pairing(s): sarah cameron x OC, john b x sarah cameron, jj maybank x OC, kie carrera x OC

taglist: @summerintheobx​ @kiarascarreras​

a/n: okay i know the summary sucks but this is the flower shop surf shack AU i mentioned a few weeks ago, and its something new im trying! (i know i already have so many things to finish lol but im really excited about this). this will be a multi-chapter fic, and features an OC! the pairings for this fic may seem a bit confusing right now (since those are the pairings for the whole fic not just this chapter), but i hope it has a bit of everything so you all will be happy with it! also shout out to @thatjohnd​ who is practically my co-writer (most everything written in this fic is something we’ve both come up with and screamed about lmao) so without further ado, here is the first chapter!

The first thing John B noticed on his way into work was that the place next door, which had been abandoned for years and then under extreme renovation the past few months, had no workers loitering around but did have an absolutely ancient truck parked outside. For as long as he had been working at the surf shack on the beach, he couldn’t remember a time when that building had ever been occupied, but it looked like now its luck was changing. The truck was loaded, practically overflowing, with plants and pots and soil, and John B could see only one person struggling to move everything from the vehicle into the building. If a new sort of shop was moving in, why was only one employee doing all the work? He rushed over to help the stranger with a particularly large potted plant when he saw they were about to drop it.

“Oh!” the stranger yelped when John B helped them set the pot on the sidewalk. “Thanks for that. Would’ve been a disaster if I’d dropped Petunia here.”

John B smiled as he got a good look at the new neighbor. She was a small woman around his age, with warm brown skin and even deeper brown eyes that lit up as she smiled at John B. Her thick black hair was pulled up and tied back with a bandana, revealing a sheen of sweat at the nape of her neck from all the movement she’d been doing under the hot sun. What really caught his attention, however, were the delicate tendrils of ink flowering over her skin, climbing up her arms and disappearing over her ribs until they were hidden by her tank top.

“You, uh,” he forced himself to speak instead of standing there staring at her slack jawed, “you moving in?”

“Yeah! Opening up a new flower shop,” she replied as her smile grew even wider. “Do you work nearby?”

“Oh, yeah, I work right next door at the surf shack. I’m John B, by the way.”

“Marisol, but most people call me Mari. Nice to meet you, John B. Thanks again for saving Petunia.”

“You name your plants?”

“Not all of them. Sometimes the missus names them. She named Petunia, and I would never hear the end of it if I got her all over the sidewalk.”

John B blinked. He had never heard anyone besides Kie talk so openly about having girlfriends, but it was nice. Mari obviously didn’t have a problem with people knowing, and John B had no problem with hearing it at all. In fact, he thought Kie would be happy to have some sapphic friends. He would need to remember to tell her about them later.

“Glad I could help you stay out of the doghouse,” he joked. “I could help you with the rest of this if you want.”

“You don’t need to be getting to work?”

“Nah, those slackers can manage without me while I help out our new neighbor. After all, what kind of welcome would it be if I left you to handle this by yourself when it’s hot as balls out?”

She laughed and shook her head. “Not a very warm one. Well, then, come on, I’ll show you around the shop. Oh, uh, you’re not afraid of dogs, are you?”

“You kidding? I love dogs!”

Mari grinned at him as she hefted a bag of soil over her shoulder and nodded for him to pick up Petunia. “Then you’ll love Grace!”

As soon as the door was opened, a great beast of a dog zoomed through the entryway, heading straight for John B. Fearing for his life, and for Petunia the plant, John B attempted to side step the creature, only for the dog to fall at his feet and roll onto its back as if asking for belly rubs. John B stared at it, completely expecting it to forgo the docile act and lunge for his throat.

“This is Grace. There’s no need to be afraid,” Mari teased, “she’s an absolute sweetheart. She usually just lays underneath the table while I work.”

He slowly put the plant on the ground and reached out to pet the dog’s belly. Grace was huge, and seemed to e some sort of pitbull mix, but she seemed to be grinning as he got more comfortable and scratched behind her ears. Mari smiled as she passed the two of them to drop the bag she was carrying onto a nearby table. John B finally let Grace hop up and got his first good look at the place. The walls were lined with tables, probably where countless flowers would be displayed, a sliding glass door to a currently empty room, and there was a backdoor that led to a small garden bordering the beach. He was impressed with how gorgeous and grown it already was, beautiful tropical flowers blooming around what looked like a saltwater pond.

“How...” he trailed off, still staring at the piece of paradise right next to his surf shack. “How did you manage to do all this?”

Mari laughed and shrugged, coming up next to him to admire her garden. “I majored in horticulture, and the missus really likes flowers, so... I just put in the work. Took a long time to get this how it is, though. Trial and error with the one at our place.”

“You have this where you live?” he couldn’t keep the awe out of his voice.

“Like I said, we love plants. Hoping to get some fish in that pond there, make a sort of aquaponic system maybe.”

“Shit, you’re like, smart huh?”

“Science was sort of my thing.”

“And your wife?”

Mari threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, she was a fine arts major. But she’s probably more into the science of the flowers than I am. She like validates some of the shit I do with the flowers, but she’s actually read the studies that validate me.”

John B snorted and shook his head. “So the fine arts major knows more about horticulture than you do?”

“What can I say? She’s a genius.”

The two fell into easy banter as John B spent the rest of the morning helping Mari unload the plants and soil from her pickup truck. It reminded him a bit of his van; ancient but in beautiful shape. The truck, though, was probably prettier than the Twinkie with it’s shiny paint job and delicate lettering on the side advertising the flower shop. Around lunchtime, after they had just managed to finish all the unloading, John B leaned against the side of the truck, his forearms resting on the edge of the bed, as Mari sat cross-legged in the bed telling him a joke with Grace’s head in her lap. He found himself surprisingly relaxed with her, as if they were already close friends.

“So what made you choose here to set up shop?” John B asked after he took a sip from the bottled water she’d offered.

He immediately regretted asking the question, because he noticed how Mari’s shoulders tensed up, how her eyebrows pulled in, and how her jaw clenched. He wasn’t sure why, but this was not some simple question for her.

“Oh, well, Sarah is from the area, and I always loved the beach so... it was a no brainer,” she replied, a smile forcing its way onto her face, but John B could tell it wasn’t real. The dimple in her right cheek wasn’t visible, and through the whole morning he’d noticed how it would appear whenever she smiled or laughed. “You from around here?”

“Born and raised,” he said proudly, hoping to move the conversation from what made her so uncomfortable. “Even went to the local college before the old man who used to own the shack gave it to us. Said he was getting too old to be wiping out so much.”

Mari laughed, a genuine one this time, and he relaxed. There was a lot to learn about the shack’s new neighbors, but he had a good feeling. He just couldn’t help but feel like this was the beginning of something great.