#our parents are family friends so we are basically relatives

[crebbyhermit]

what are they playing

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for tricking my grandma into misgendering her cat?

Background: my (19F) grandma (67F) is a southern baptist and pretty conservative. My cousin (Matt, 24M) is trans, he came out to his parents and mine about two years ago because he knew we would be supportive, but he waited until he was on T a couple months and was mostly transitioned socially before he officially came out to our less supportive relatives, like my grandma.

Since Matt came out to everyone else (which he did by showing up at family Christmas with a “hello my name is” sticker on, which I thought was hilarious) my grandma has refused to use his correct pronouns, name, or anything, saying “it’s hard to switch” as an excuse. Matt has cut off contact and everyone else in the family just kind of avoids talking about him around her.

I am in a weird situation because my family lives the next street over from where she does, and we have always been pretty close. Since she started being so shitty about Matt, though, I’ve put more distance and just stay polite when she’s over.

Okay so now to the AITA part. About two months ago my grandma wanted to adopt a cat, and my best friend volunteers at an animal shelter so we were helping her. We showed her pictures of some of the cats and she saw an older male who was all black with longer fur and said she wanted to adopt “her.” I started to correct her saying it was a male cat, and then realized the opportunity I had so I kept my mouth shut. I made a point to handle all the adoption stuff for my grandma so she never saw anything indicating the cat’s male-ness, and then brought home her new “female” cat, pink collar and all.

Last week “Miss Kitty” (such a creative name) got a paw injury and at the vet they told my grandma the cat was male. My grandma told me and my parents about it when she was over for the Fourth of July (we had family and friends over for barbecue, including Matt’s parents). I made a point from there on to continue using “she” for the cat and still calling “Miss Kitty” instead of “Mister Kitty.” It took her a minute to notice but finally she called me out and said “he’s a boy, stop saying she.”

I immediately snapped back with “oh so it’s easy for you to switch the name and pronouns of your cat but not your own grandson?” Everyone got quiet and she got all flustered, trying to say it’s different, but I just said “oh okay, so you put more effort into using the right words for a cat who doesn’t even know English, got it.”

My mom told me to stop and leave it alone. I said “I’m just saying, it’s pretty clear who she cares about more.” And then my mom told me to leave the table if I was going to act like that. I just got up and took my plate in the kitchen and finished eating.

After everyone left my mom lit into me and told me that what I said was cruel. I said I was just teaching her a lesson and that maybe now she would think about it different. My mom said that I just made things worse and humiliated her on purpose in front of everyone. My dad had been quiet but then just started laughing. He realized that I had been playing the long game, and it wasn’t a mix up at the shelter- I led my grandma to believe the cat was female. He basically said “that was wrong but also hilarious” and now my mom is mad at both me and my dad. When Matt’s parents told him he thought it was super funny and said he isn’t mad at all.

My mom wants me to apologize, but I am not sorry about what I said. I don’t know if I should feel bad about tricking my grandma, because I didn’t technically outright lie, I just didn’t correct her when she assumed the cat was female. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[ubernatural]

Due to the overwhelming majority of positive votes on my poll, this is a small snip of my as of now unnamed destiel fic. Please please please talk to me about how I can improve or what you liked about it <3

———

Cas was alone. Again. His roommate had fucked off, predictably, and left him to stew alone in their half unpacked room right before his first classes of the year. Normally, he’s fine being by himself. Thrives in it, really. But after the way he left things with his family, he’s craving human contact more than ever.

His parents will tell you he “ran away,” but, really, he just never told them he got accepted into KU. He just packed his bags, and left for the fall semester. He had been working jobs since he was fifteen and had saved every last cent of his pay, so he had some money to help with tuition. He also got one mean scholarship, so all he really needs are the books. But that won't stop his parents from calling him “selfish” and “entitled” when all he really wants is to live his life not being constantly squished into the image of the perfect son that hasn’t fit him in a long ass time.

It also doesn’t help that they are super religious and did not support him coming out as gay. They insisted it was a “phase” and “would pass.” But Cas had known for years that he was into men. He knew it before when he picked a girl in class to “like” just so he would fit in. He knew it in Senior year when Hannah, a girl in his school, invited him over to her house to study, or so he thought. She said she was going to change into something more comfortable and he figured that meant pajamas, but apparently that meant buck ass nude. He was embarrassed and, frankly, grossed out. He made a speedy exit, and avoided her for the rest of the year. His parents, Chuck in particular, kept asking him what ever happened to “that lovely Hannah girl.” Well, now they know why they never saw her again.

Pushing away the thought of his family, he rises from his bed to get ready. He throws on a pair of worn dark wash jeans, a black shirt, and pulls a battered gray zip-up over it all. He grabs the old messenger bag he was able to snatch from his father before he left, and fills it with the books he’s going to need today.

The walk to class was pretty uneventful. It was a nice day, and Cas only got lost once. He quickly asked for directions, and was relieved that he wasn’t even that far off course.

He was still pretty proud of himself when he got to the lecture hall. It was relatively full, but not so that it was hard to find a seat. He ended up picking one close to the middle next to a small redhead with glasses. They shared a polite smile before she reached her hand out for him to shake. “Hey there. I’m Charlie.”

Cas tentatively grasped her hand and gave it a firm shake. “Hello, Charlie. My name is Castiel.”

“Oh, that’s so cool! I might have to steal it for my new DnD character,” she playfully shoots back.

“Yes, well, you would be too late considering it’s already the name of mine.” His lips tick up in a smile as he sees her face brighten.

“Dude, you should totally come over and play sometime! I’ve only got one other friend who plays, and his younger brother who’s usually our DM.” Her eyes widen a fraction before she continues frantically, “I mean, obviously you don’t have to, and this is kinda weird since we know basically nothing about each other and-”

“I would love to join you, Charlie.” He cuts off her rambling before she can talk herself out of his invite.

Her face splits into a wide grin, and she’s beaming again. “Did we just become besties?” she asks.

“Yes, I believe we did,” Cas amusedly answers.

-

The Queen: handmaiden, come quick

emergency dnd meet in my room

now!

and bring the good popcorn

-

Dean gets the text as he’s finishing his last class for today. He’s pretty drained from all of the “introduce yourself” and “get to know you” chats that he was forced into all day. The sun’s setting, and all he really wanted was to curl up in bed and maybe watch Tombstone for the millionth time. But he loves Charlie, and he can’t refuse his queen. He shoots off a text saying he’ll be right there, and heads for his room to get the requested snack.

Ten minutes later, he’s standing outside Charlie’s dorm with the half cheesy, half caramel popcorn that she likes. He knocks once and is utterly unprepared for what he sees when he lets himself in.

“Hey, Charles-”

He stops in his tracks as he takes in the scene. Charlie and some guy are sitting on the floor as Charlie is very animatedly ranting about something or another and the guy is just sitting there, softly but excitedly smiling at her. Upon second glance, the guy is hot. He’s wearing a shirt that hugs his shoulders perfectly and matches his messy black curls. The guy also has a straight nose and full lips. When he looks up at Dean, he’s struck by just how blue his eyes are. Blue enough to drown in. Shut up, brain.

Their impromptu staring contest is interrupted by Charlie springing up from her spot on the floor and practically yanking him all the way inside the room. “Dean,” she says, “this is Castiel. We have English together and he mentioned he plays DnD, so I invited him over to see if we could coerce you and Sam into getting a game started.” He raises a quizzical brow and her responding look says “just go with it.”

“Uh, hey, man,” he says, transferring the nearly forgotten bag of popcorn under his left arm, reaching the other out for the guy to shake.

“Hello, Dean.” And damn, if he hadn't thought this guy was hot before, he definitely thinks so now. His voice is whiskey smooth yet still has a gargling gravel quality to it. His handshake is strong, too. And just as he realizes that fact, he also recognizes that he’s held this guy's hand for a beat too long and was staring again.

He clears his throat and extracts his hand, trying to control the flush he’s feeling. Judging by the small smirk on this Castiel guy’s face, he’s failed miserably.

Turning back to Charlie, resolutely ignoring the self satisfied smile on her smug little face, he extracts the popcorn from under his arm and offers it to her with a small bow. “M’lady,” he recites.

“Why thank you, handmaiden,” she says liltingly, and pats him on the head.

“Anything for you, my queen,” he says as he straightens.

He throws a glance back over at the guy, who is doing a comically adorable squint-tilt of confusion. He sniggers a little to himself. Where did Charlie find this guy? “So, Cas,” he starts, “are you a sweet or salty kind of guy?”

The squint deepens until the whole look smoothes out. “Well, I prefer sweet to salty snacks, if that’s what you’re asking. Although I do believe that opinion is almost entirely based off of my older brother sharing his sugar addiction with me.” His face turned contemplative and almost yearning.

“Well, that’s good since that half and half crap she has me pick up is more 70-30 on carmel to cheese. Now it works out,” he grins, “you two can split the 70 and I’ll get the 30 all to myself.”

“That’s… agreeable.”

His smile widens much more than the comment earned, but he can’t help it. He’s swooning and the man only said two words. “Great, I’ll get Sammy on the phone. Charles, why don’t you and Cas set up the game?”

Sam picks up on the third ring, predictably still awake and not trying to ignore his big brother. “Hey, Dean. How did your first day go?”

“Ah, it was alright, Sammy. Met some people, found some classes, nothing real eventful until now.”

“Until now? What does that mean?” He sounds equal parts concerned and cautious.

“Nothing bad, you can relax. Charlie found herself a new bestie, and we were just wonderin’ if your dungeon master skills could be brought out for a quick game.”

There’s a large sigh on the other end of the phone before he inevitably relents. “Fine. Put me on speaker, I’ll go get my notes.”

“Yes, Sammy!” he shouts excitedly “This is why I love you.” He puts his phone on speaker and flashes a thumbs up at the other two in the room who had looked up at his outburst.

“There’s gotta be more reasons than that, jerk,” Sam replies petulantly.

“Why don’t you come over here and find out, bitch,” he throws back.

There's grumbling and shuffling on the phone, and Dean grins triumphantly, even though the comeback didn't make much sense. “Ok,” Sam pauses, “am I on speaker?”

“Yeah. Hi, Sam!” comes Charlie’s reply.

“Hi, Char. And, uh, hi, Charlie’s new bestie?”

“Hello, Sam. My name is Castiel. It is good to speak with you.” Dean could listen to Castiel read an organic chemistry textbook and never get bored.

“Hello, Castiel. It’s nice to meet a fellow nerd,” Sam jokes.

Cas laughs and if Dean likes his voice, he loves his laugh. He could bottle it up and get drunk on it each night. God, when did he turn into such a sap?

They stay on the phone with Sam through a two hour adventure that he found lying in his notes. Afterwards, it’s pretty late, but they stick around and chat for a bit. They find out some random things about Cas, like, he’s 20 (just a year younger than Dean), his favorite animal is a bee (”But that’s not an animal, Cas, It’s an insect.” “And insects are a type of animal, Dean.”), he has one older brother, and apparently is in a band.

“No way, dude! That’s so cool! What do you play?” Charlie practically bounces off of her perch on the edge of her bed in excitement.

“Well, I play guitar, but I also sing, sometimes.” He shrugs, “We’re very flexible with who takes the lead, though. It usually comes down to who wrote the song and what they want to do with it.” He then smiles shyly, “Then again, most of the songs are mine as well, with more than a few written by my friend, Meg.”

Charlie nearly chokes on her own spit. “Wait, Meg, as in Meg Masters?”

The squint-tilt is back. “Yes. Megara Masters. Do you know her?”

Charlie scoffs, “Know her? No. Know of her? Hell yes. What kind of lesbian would I be if I didn't know the hottest gay in school?”

“Hey,” Dean protests, “the hottest gay is obviously that Aaron guy.”

She reached over and gently laid her hand on his cheek, “Oh, sweetie,” she said pleasantly, “you keep telling yourself that.” She pats his cheek lightly before she withdraws her hand. The whole exchange leaves Cas more than a little confused.

The topics ebb and flow however it wants, and soon they’re debating the merits of each Hogwarts house.

“I don’t care what either of you buffoons have to say, I gotta back my girl Harmionie,” Charlie yells.

“We’re not talking about characters, Char, We’re talking about the house itself!” Dean yells back.

“But if we were talking about characters,” Cas chimes, “That would give Hufflepuff a point because of Sedric.”

“Oh, yea?” Charlie snaps. “And where’s Sedric now, Cas? That's right, he’s dead,”

Dea narrows his eyes, “That was a low blow, Char.” No one disrespects Sedric and gets away with it.

Cas is about to speak, presumably to come to Dean’s aid, when his phone chimes. “Oh dear,” he says.

“What is it, Cas?” Dean asks as nonchalantly as he can, but if the look Charlie shot at him is anything to go by, it didn't work very well.

He laughs breathily at his phone and begins tapping away, speaking distractedly as he goes. “It looks like it’s much later than I thought, and Gabriel seems to have been trying to contact me for quite some time now.” He bites his lip thoughtfully before he starts typing again. Dean tries not to let his gaze snag on the gesture.

“If you gotta go, man, that’s cool,” Dean relents.

“Yeah,” Charlie chimes, “we should all probably get some sleep, anyways.”

“Yes I think I might do just that,” Cas answers. Just then his phone starts buzzing in his hand. “I have to take this, but it was lovely meeting both of you, and I hope we can possibly do this again sometime?”

“Of course, dude,” Charlie answers and goes in for a hug. Cas is a bit awkward, but he’s smiling, so it can’t be too bad. “We nerds gotta stick together!” she declares.

Dean sticks his hand out for Cas to shake. It’s firm and strong and lasts a little bit longer than a normal handshake, but Dean’s probably just imagining that. He also probably imagined when Cas’ eyes seemed to flick down to his lips. He had to have imagined it. No way would this guy be interested in a sack like Dean.

Cas seems to come back to himself abruptly when his forgotten phone starts buzzing again. He answers swiftly with a sort of fond and annoyed look that belongs to most younger brothers. “Gabriel, ya kak raz sobiralsya pozvonit'. Chto vam nuzhno?” He casually shoots them a wave, and closes the door on his way out.

Dean and Charlie are left staring after him in shock. Was that Russian?

[pacthesis]

our vietnamese tea ceremony

some may or may not know i just got engaged to a weird guy i met in college that (to put it lightly) i wasn’t too fond of but after like 2 years of snubbing him he somehow won my heart i guess

i scribbled a comic about it cause whenever people ask how i met him they sometimes get invested haha

some people also may have seen him on america’s got talent or cbs news or jimmy fallon or on tiktok doing his pizza man shenanigans lol

people often ask if he pulled me with his dough skills and i have to clarify i didn’t even know about the dough spinning hobby until after we started dating and he didn’t do the tv/media appearances until like 6 years into our relationship 🤣

my parents were both boat refugees from vietnam (they fled during the war when they were teenagers and met as adults) and i’m american- but we’re not really that “traditional” i guess

i think many viet people don’t get married or commit without having a tea ceremony haha

a hetero buddy asked who were my bridesmaids and when i told him i don’t have any he asked why and i just said “i like my friends” ���� (my childhood friends were there as guests though!)

i also didn’t want/ask pizza man’s family to bring the customary gifts cause i didn’t wanna cramp my style

basically the purpose of this event was for people to witness us getting engaged and be an opportunity for our families to meet one another!

5/23/2015 is when we started dating

for our first anniversary i got our initials and anniversary date stamped onto a penny and pizza man still carries it around 🥺

so 8 years later we got engaged on 8/5/2023

8 for august (8 years later)

5th of august (5 for the month we began dating)

year of 2023 (23 for the day we began dating)

i think people often go to a fortune teller or someone who knows what they’re doing to schedule important dates using the stars and other factors but my grandpa doesn’t believe in that and the rest of us aren’t really superstitious

we wore áo dài- it’s a vietnamese ensemble consisting of a tunic with a long front and back panel that is worn over pants

áo means “shirt/clothes” and dài means "long"

a lot of the time the bride wears red and the groom wears blue i guess but i wanted my outfit to look bridal when i imagine an american bride or a vietnamese bride!

i also wanted to wear a gold khăn đóng headpiece and to incorporate pearls to resemble what my mom wore when she got engaged to my dad

sunflowers are also my fav

(after we started dating i thought pizza man was tall and sunny like a sunflower haha 😭)

my makeshift shoebox altar- or as i like to call it: my “spirit pager” 😤

the double happiness symbol is two copies of the chinese character 喜 (xǐ) which means joy/happiness and red symbolizes luck for the couple

my mom asked if we should put up pictures of our deceased and i was like i don’t wanna make pizza man’s parents go out of their way to bring photos 😭

i think we were supposed to ask our ancestors for permission to get engaged or married or whatever but since my mom raised me to believe my life is mine to live i just announced it to em

as far as i know it’s not really a buddhist thing- ancestor worship is more of a vietnamese thing apparently

my mom said vietnam is a country with a lot of war and death in its history- so imo it makes sense how they incorporate the dead into their culture and traditions

after introducing each of our family members and friends- we lit a couple of incense to (casually) announce the news to our deceased grandparents and relatives

apparently burning incense is an invitation to ancestral spirits and to deliver wishes to predecessors

smoke from the burning incense guides people to safety or safe passing when they die- it also guides em back home on days like these

the spirit(s) depart when all of the incense has burned

next month is my grandma’s "deathiversary” (giỗ) so we’ll be paging her again soon

we used a tea set that was used to celebrate my 1st birthday to pour and serve (my pick) of vanilla caramel black tea to my grandpa and our parents

pizza man’s mom doesn’t like tea so i was happy i picked something she did enjoy!

but when my mom brought her family to america from vietnam- she asked them if they could bring a tea set specifically for me

my mom said it’s meant to be used to celebrate any of my special occasions

then me and pizza man said some nice words to each other and exchanged rings

my ring was pizza man’s grandma’s- his grandpa initially proposed with a smaller diamond but after he saved up enough he got her this bigger one

i don’t listen to any comments that suggest or imply this carbon rock is not humongous 🤣

pizza man paid to get it resized and to repair its prongs (it was well worn by grandma mercedes 🥺)

also found out my ring size is 3.25 (US) haha 😭

he also decided to get his grandpa’s ring resized and to wear it too!

my mom put this necklace on me- she says it reads “happiness” (i can’t confirm lol) but she received it from her mother-in-law when she got engaged to my dad

my mom was too scared to wear it after their tea ceremony cause it’s 24 karat gold and she didn't wanna wreck it

she said 24 karat gold hasn't been combined with other metals so it’s soft

i guess couples at viet tea ceremonies often get 24 karat jewelry- the idea is they can quickly sell it/melt it down for hard times

my mom also passed down her favorite jade bracelet and my grandma’s favorite diamond earrings to me 🥺

and on my 1st birthday my mom got a special ring made to celebrate my birth- she put it on a chain so the person i marry can wear it close to their heart

my mom also got a special ring necklace made to celebrate my sibling’s birth and gave it to their fiancée during their tea ceremony

it’s just the two of us so no more shiny token trophies up for grabs! 😤

i laughed when pizza man had to squat down so low so my mom could put the necklace on him 

after the ceremony i asked him if he wanted me to help him take it off (my sibling's fiancée keeps theirs in a safe cause she’s too scared to wear it daily) but pizza man was like "no i like it 😄" and wore it to sleep and showered with it and hasn’t taken it off since 😭🤣

at the end of the ceremony we lit the candles on the altar to represent the union of our families!

then we ate lots of food haha

my parents both cooked! egg rolls, fried rice, lo mein, bột chiên (fried taro rice cake)

my mom was excited because she knew many of our guests weren’t very familiar with vietnamese food and wanted to share that with them 🥺

and my dad was just so excited for me and pizza man and had so much fun getting the supplies and decorations 😭

my aunt and uncle and sister-in-law brought vịt quay (peking duck), heo quay (roast pork), gỏi tôm (shrimp salad), bánh hỏi (rice vermicelli), xôi gấc (sweet red sticky rice topped with coconut, peanuts and salt)

and pizza man’s mom and family brought lots of desserts

we have always been so amazed with how good their sweets taste and look! 🥺

we also got an ice cream cake

i wasn’t thinking and asked em to write “nicholas and amy lễ đính hôn” and they called me and were like wtf is this and i was like oh no it’s ok haha don’t worry about it! 😭🤣

we had some photos displayed but my sibling took lots of nice pictures of the whole thing!

i was happy i actually got the chance to spend time with and talk to everyone who came!

it went so well and we had so much fun that we’re thinking of doing something similar for our wedding- probably a backyard wedding haha

i was telling pizza man apparently some tea ceremonies have the first half take place at the bride’s home and then the later half is at the groom’s home 🤔

anyway reminder that leftover egg rolls can be reheated in the toaster

[connan-l]

I sometimes see people wondering when Reiko died exactly and how old her daughter was at the time of her death, but we do, in fact, already have a little bit of an answer to this in canon.

Now this is something that is only implied, but in the very first chapter of the manga, during the conversation Natsume has with Nyanko-sensei the first time he reveals his true form and right before our first Reiko flashback, we have this line (that was cut off from the anime):

[NATSUME: She [Reiko] may not have been able to relate well to others... Not many people even remember her, since she died so young. Not even her own daughter...]

[NATSUME: 確かに祖母は人とうまくつきあえなかったらしい 彼女を憶えている 「人」はほとんでいないんだ 娘だった母でさえ記憶にないくらい若くして亡くなっていて・・・・・・]

This is the official English translation, while the fan translation has this:

"There aren't that many people who remember her. She died so young that even my mom, her daughter, probably didn't remember her..."

This leaves some more uncertainty in the phrasing, but the meaning is basically the same. The original Japanese, "母でさえ記憶にないくらい若くして亡くなっていて" is a bit closer to the fan translation in a literal sense, except in Japanese there is no "probably"; Natsume sounds pretty certain his mother didn't remember Reiko.

So, if "not even her own daughter" remembered Reiko, it's fair to assume that she must have died when Takashi's mom was still a child, and a really young one at that.

(I suppose you could maybe make an argument that Reiko could have still died when the daughter was older, but then something happened that made her forget? But that doesn't seem likely to me.)

Now, this was the very first chapter written 20 years ago, back when NatsuYuu still wasn't supposed to become a long series with much of an overarching narrative, so maybe it's something that could change later. Midorikawa has definitely retconned some details in her story before. But for now that's still one of the only crumb of information we have about this.

Which, if this is correct, then it's very sad because that means Reiko only lived with her daughter for a handful of years at most and never even got to see her grow up. And given we know the grandfather wasn't around and Reiko was a single mom, then the daughter probably spent most of her childhood without her parents, and barely knew anything about either of them (or, well, nothing at all in the father's case).

Which also begs the question as to who raised Reiko's daughter after her death then. We knows Reiko had no family, and no one know anything about the grandfather, so there was no relative, even distant ones, to look after her like with Takashi.

Did she just end up in the foster system/an orphanage, or did someone specific took care of her? If so, does that mean there was a person close enough to Reiko that would have taken care of her child like this? Did the daughter just carry the Book of Friends with herself all this time? Did she knows what the Book of Friends even was, or anything about her mother's abilities? During the eastern forest arc, Takashi says that his mother didn't have any spiritual powers, but then again he never met her or know anything about her at all, so who knows how much that can be true.

Regardless, there's something particularly tragic about the idea that each generation of the Natsumes grew up as isolated orphans who barely knew anything about their family.

[guillemelgat]

I just started a new semester, and I'm finally getting the chance to take Malayalam, which I've been trying to do since my undergrad. This is obviously a very exciting development, and it's so delightful to be in a language class again for the first time in ages, but it's also been a very unique experience as far as language classes go. First of all, for me, who is generally used to having very odd personal connections to a language and being the overachieving linguist of the class. And second of all because it's just a very different experience to be in a class largely oriented towards heritage learners and people with some cultural familiarity.

There are five people in the class. Of those five, four have Malayalee family and have had some exposure to Malayalam throughout our lives; the last person is a native speaker of another non-Dravidian South Asian language. Of the four of us who are Malayalee, I'm basically the only one who didn't have a significant amount of Malayalam at home growing up. What this means is that we've spent very little time on the phonetics of the language, because everyone roughly knows how to pronounce it - something which wouldn't be true if there were non-South Asian in the class! (It was a bit comforting to hear all the other Malayalees struggling with aspirated consonants, which have constantly been the bane of my existence, and then to hear the instructor say that few people pronounce them right in spoken Malayalam anyways.) The instructor could ask us to say things on the first day, and the more fluent speakers could say them. There is already Malayalam being mixed in with the instruction. I'm sure by the end of the semester we'll be having extended conversations - especially since the two of us who don't speak have very concrete communicative desires for our outside lives.

It's also a very scary experience for me, personally. Or maybe scary isn't quite the right word, but I've always felt out of my depth in claiming Malayalee heritage - I've always felt that there were so many things which I didn't know which any normal Malayalee would. There is no evidence that this is true, at least insofar as that my cousins with two Malayalee parents have wildly varying experiences and I'm not actually that far outside the norm. In most American spaces, I will never be clocked as white, and most people usually immediately identify me as South Asian. Nonetheless, I know that when I visited Kerala this past December, I was decidedly foreign - to the two guys speaking in rapid-fire Malayalam on the flight from Qatar, to the person at the immigration counter in Trivandrum, even to my own relatives. Part of it is a mental block on my part, of feeling myself foreign and therefore never letting myself belong. Part of it is that I am, ultimately, American. But either way, in this class, I can feel that I'm the American in the room, even when I'm not, even when my pronunciation is just as good as the other Malayalees and there's nothing that's telling me I can't belong. I keep freezing up when asked to say real things, or when people speak to me, because there's some unreachable standard in my brain of Not A Real Malayalee, and everything feels fraught and fragile. So maybe this semester will be about overcoming that.

It's still strange being in a language class where the instructor, on the first day, can look at you all and say, "You know why you're here, you want to be here, we all have a shared experience." But it's also a beautiful thing in its own way, and I'm really looking forward to taking on a language in this way. I love the structure and the logic of language, the puzzle of putting it together, the beauty of making friends in it and watching shows in it and listening to songs in it - but as I get older I find myself really reflecting on what it means to learn and to know a language. And sometimes those barriers to learning and to knowing are only in our minds, not in our worlds. Language is communication and connection, and I hope that Malayalam serves me to these two ends, even as it sometimes feels like a trial by fire at each word.

[infinit-world]

Maybe Christmas it’s not that bad

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Reader I wrote it thinking of fem!reader but can be read as gn!reader

Word count: 3.35k

Summary: You end up spending Christmas with Jenna and her family.

Hi! This is my first time writing, so sorry if this is bad. Also, English is not my first language, so if you see a mistake, please let me know.

A/N I know it's too late (or early) for a Christmas fic, but this idea popped in my head and I had to write it. Hope you enjoy it!

You look at the Wednesday cast. You can’t contain the small smile that appears on your face when you see them all laughing and having a good time, chatting about their plans for the upcoming Christmas holidays. Your eyes land on Jenna, like they tend to do. You love seeing her like this, so relaxed and carefree. 

Suddenly, you feel a hand on your shoulder, seeing Emma with a smirk looking at you. "What are your plans for the holidays y/n/n?" Your smile disappears after hearing the words, without much of an idea of what to answer. "Hmm, not much, just a nice and calm dinner with some friends." The lie rolls easily, and you’re happy that she doesn’t ask anything else before going back to talk with the rest. 

See, the thing is, you don’t really like Christmas. You loved it when you were a kid, with all the gifts and special foods. But when you started to grow up things changed. Your parents didn’t get along really well with your other relatives, so dinner with the rest of the family was always filled with uncomfortable tension. You were forced to talk with people that basically didn’t care for you, just to keep the happy little family facade that everyone knew was fake, so your parents would be happy. It was exhausting. Plus, your economic situation wasn’t good, so you stopped getting presents at the age of 10. In the end, Christmas started to feel like an obligation. Seeing everyone be so excited, knowing that they had a good time with their families just added an extra bittersweet feeling. It made the longing to experience something like that stronger, and you hated it.

You excuse yourself, too distracted thinking how you will be all alone again, to notice how Jenna looks at you with a frown. You close the door to your trailer with a sight, ready to take a shower and go to bed, wanting nothing more than to have a little bit of peace. Right as you get out of the bathroom you hear a knock on your door. "I’m coming." You yell, a little confused as to who it could be. When you open the door you see Jenna and Emma. "Come in." You say while opening the door a little more. 

Once the three of you are seated on the couch you wait for one of them to start talking. "We wanted to talk with you about earlier. We noticed how you felt a little uncomfortable after asking you about Christmas. Just wanted to make sure you’re ok." Emma says softly. "I’m fine, just a little tired." " Y/n, don’t lie to us please. There’s something bothering you. If you don’t want to talk about it it’s fine, we were just worried." Jenna tells me.

You stay silent for a minute, thinking if you want to tell them the truth. They already know a few things about your past, but they don’t know the whole story. In the end, you decide to tell them. You exhale before starting. "You know I don’t have contact with my family anymore. But, the truth is, I don’t really talk with anyone else apart from you. I didn’t have a lot of friends back home, and I’ve been so focused on Wednesday, I haven’t had a lot of time to meet new people. My plan was to stay here. I don’t really like Christmas, so I don’t mind if I don’t celebrate it." You shrug trying to play it down. 

After you tell them how were your Christmas before cutting the ties with your family, they share a look of understanding before Emma starts speaking. "Well, there’s no way we’re going to let you stay here alone for the holidays. We can talk with our families and we can stay here with you. Make it special so you can finally have good memories of it."  "What?" You say shocked. "No way. I’m not letting you stay here just because of me. You haven’t seen your families in months, and I know how excited you two were to see them again. I will be fine, I promise." You say crossing your arms to emphasise how serious you were. "If you’re not going to let us stay here and we’re not going to let you stay alone, I think the only solution is for you to come with one of us." Emma nods to Jenna’s words.

You think about it. It would be nice to spend the holidays with people, and you already met Emma’s family through a video call a few months back. But still, you don’t want to be a burden. "Y/n, please." Emma gives you puppy eyes and you can feel your resolution crumbling. "Ok, ok, if your family is ok with it, I will go with you." You say. "Oh please, my mom fell in love with you since the two of you met. She will be happy to have you over."  "And, if not, you can always come with me." Jenna adds with a smile.

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The next morning, while you’re in makeup, Emma comes to speak with you. "Hey y/n. I’ve talked with my mom about you tagging along for Christmas."  "Uh, ok? Did she say yes? That’s why you’re grinning like the Cheshire cat?" You ask a little confused. "Unfortunately, we will have more family than expected, so you can’t stay."  "Oh, ok. There's no problem. I will just stay here."  "Oh, you won’t. You will stay with Jenna."  "What? I’m not going with her Emma, I don’t know her family!" You say a little panicked. "Too late. I’ve already spoken with her and she said there’s no problem for you to go with her. I’m sure you will have a lot of fun." She says winking at you. Before you can think of an answer, Emma has already left the room. What the hell? You think before realising what just happened. Emma knew about your crush on Jenna, so she framed you to spend the holidays with her. I’m going to kill her when we finish the show.

You spend the rest of the day nervous. There’s just a couple of days before the holidays start, and you don’t think you’re ready to be at Jenna's house. "Hey, you’re ok?" Jenna asks you. "You’ve been a little distracted today."  "If I’m being honest, I’m really nervous about Christmas."  "Why?"  "Well, I don’t know your family. What if they don’t like me?" You say scratching your neck. "Y/n, don’t worry, they will love you." She gives you a reassuring smile before talking with you about the details of the trip.

The rest of the days fly by and before you know it, the day of the trip comes. You and Jenna spend the whole trip making plans for the holidays, since there’s still a week left until Christmas. Jenna tells you a little bit more about her family, and by the time you get to her house door, you feel you’ve known them for a long time.

Her mom is the first to hug Jenna, while you step aside not really knowing what to do. As soon as they separate, her mom comes and hugs you too. "It’s so nice to finally meet you, Jenna won’t stop talking about you!" Both of you blush while Jenna whines "MOM! Stop it!" After the introductions, you look around the house. It’s nice and cosy, with the Christmas decorations filling the hallways and the living room. The tree hasn’t been decorated yet, waiting for the whole family to be together.

Before showing your room, Jenna shows you hers. It’s smaller than you imagined it. Just a double bed, a desk and a built-in wardrobe. On the wall above the desk, there’s a corkboard full of photos of Jenna with her family and friends, movie tickets and other different items. "It’s my memory board. I used to save things of special moments and then I would pin them on the board." Jenna explains when she sees where your eyes are. You get a little bit closer, looking at everything with intent eyes. You love the idea that a lot of Jenna’s important moments are present on the board. 

You point to one of the photos of her with her siblings, all of them making funny faces. "What was happening here?" She chuckles before answering "That was our second easter with the twins, they wouldn’t stop crying so we started to make funny faces so they would laugh. Dad thought it was really cute and snapped the photo without us knowing it." You smile, imagining the scene. You spend a little more time talking about the different photos before deciding to take a nap before dinner.

Dinner is great. Her parents are really good cooks and all her family is really easy to talk with. You spend the whole time laughing at the banter of Jenna’s siblings, loving the happy atmosphere of the house. After you eat, they decide it’s a good time to decorate the tree, so you all move to the living room. You sit on the sofa with her parents, watching with a smile how the siblings argue about which decoration they should use. At one point, Jenna gets on top of Mia, trying to steal one of the ornaments that Isaac has. You laugh, before taking a picture, an idea for Jenna’s present forming in your head.

Jenna comes to you after giving up, a soft smile on her lips. "Come on, you have to decorate the tree with us." She says while offering her hand to you. You take it, loving the warm feeling spreading through your chest, joining the siblings. Without you knowing, her mom takes a picture of you.

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The next morning, you two decide to go for a walk, so Jenna could show you her favourite spot in the city. "What do you think about my family?"  "They’re great Jenna. I love how all of you interact. Especially you with your siblings."  "Really? They can get really annoying when they want, which is always. If you haven’t realised, we spend the whole time bickering."  "I think is really cute. It shows how much you care for each other." You say with a smile. Jenna looks at you, her eyes curious. "What?"  "Nothing, I just… I would love to see the world through your eyes."  "Why? It’s not that interesting, I just see what others see." You say without understanding her.

Jenna drops the subject, guiding you to a hidden spot beside the road. It’s covered by trees, but once you pass them, you can see a bench facing a cliff. "Wow, it’s beautiful." You say. From where you stand, you can see the city below, surrounded by the desert. You sit down, enjoying the comfortable silence.

After a few minutes, Jenna starts talking. "Can you tell me a little more about your childhood? I know you don’t like to talk about it, but I’m curious."  "What do you want to know?"  "What was your favourite thing to do?" You think for a couple of seconds before answering. "I loved watching movies in the dark, I would wrap myself in a blanket and sit on the floor with the lights off. I could spend hours that way."  "That’s so cute! I used to do blankets forts with my siblings and watch movies inside."  "I always wanted to do that."  "Wait, you’ve never built a blanket fort?" Jenna asks you a little shocked. "No, I always watched it in movies and I thought it look really fun, but I never had the chance to try it."  "What else you’ve always wanted to try?"

You two spend a couple more hours talking before heading back to the house. 

For the next few days, you pass the time with her family, playing games in the garden with her siblings, helping her mom cook and getting to know Jenna a little more. You also took a lot of photos for Jenna’s present. You were thinking of creating an album, including photos since the two of you met until Christmas. 

It was December 22, and the family decided to go shopping for Christmas gifts (I know it’s too late, but imagine you can buy them without a problem) You were talking with Markus when you see Jenna looking out the window of a jewellery store. There, in the front, was a beautiful necklace of a raven with his wings opened, a small blue stone on his beak. You know Jenna has had a little obsession with ravens since she started Wednesday, so you make a note to yourself to come back later and buy it. 

You all end up separating so you could buy the presents for everyone. After a few hours, you only needed to buy the photo paper and the necklace for Jenna. You had talked with her dad a few days ago, and he let you use his printer for the photos. Once you got everything, you go back to the house, hiding the gifts in your room before anyone could see them. You decided to have a quiet evening, a little tired from socialising so much this past days.

You’re just scrolling through Instagram when Jenna knocks on your door. "Hey, you’re busy?" You look at her, noticing how she seems excited. "No, I was just being lazy, you want something?"  "I have a surprise for you." Jenna leads you to the living room. When you enter, you see that the sofas have been moved, so there was space for a blanket fort. "You told me you always wanted to try it. I know you haven’t made it, but they can be a pain in the ass to build sometimes, and I wanted it to be perfect." You smile at her, your eyes shining with love. "Thank you, you didn’t have to." You say with a soft voice. You enter the fort, seeing all your favourite snacks and Jenna’s laptop already prepared for a movie marathon. You stay there, curled at Jenna’s side, until late in the night.

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The last day flies by, and Christmas Eve arrives. You spend the morning in your room, wrapping the gifts, only having to finish Jenna’s present. You sort the photos in an album on your phone, adding the ones her parents took for you, before deciding which ones you want to use. You decided that you would put the photos in a box instead of an album so if Jenna wanted, she could save them in her corkboard. After you print them, you put a nice decorative paper inside the box. But, you’re not quite happy with it, it’s like something is missing. That's when an idea pops into your head. Jenna told you she wanted to see the world through your eyes, so you decide to write what was going on in your mind when the photos happened.

The dinner that night is awesome. It’s the best Christmas you ever had, and you can’t wait for tomorrow. "Oh, we forgot to tell you!" Jenna says when you are finishing. "We usually open the presents when the clock strikes midnight."  "Yeah! we can’t wait until the next morning. Too much excitement!" One of her sisters adds. You smile, before reassuring them that it’s ok. 

You all get the presents and take a sit in the living room. Her parents are the first to give them, loving to see their children's excitement. You cry when you open your gift. It’s nothing special really, just a few hoodies from your favourite artists, but your chest feels like it’s going to explode from happiness, so you thank them sniffing, with a huge smile on your face. 

After a while, it’s Jenna’s turn. She gives you two presents, one is a rectangle, and you immediately know it’s a book. The other is a small box. "Open the big one first." Jenna instructs you. You unwrap it carefully, seeing the cover of your favourite book. "It’s a special edition. I know how much you love it." When you open it, you can see that some pages have artwork on them. You want to thank her, but she shushes you before nudging the second present. 

When you open the box, you can’t fight the tears that start to fall. Inside, lays a silver bracelet with an infinity symbol in the middle. It’s exactly like the one your Granny gave you. Your grandmother was the only person in your family that you really loved, and that bracelet was the last present she gave you before she died. You told Jenna how you loved it, but unfortunately, the bracelet broke a few years ago, and you really missed it. Jenna knew how important it was for you, so she search everywhere until she found it. "I know it’s not the same but-" Before she can finish, you hug her. "It’s perfect, thank you."

You clear your tears before giving your gifts. You’re nervous, you want them to be perfect as a thank you for giving you such a good Christmas. Everyone likes them, thankfully, so you relax a little bit. You look at Jenna, wanting to see her reaction. You just give her the necklace, wanting to give her the photos when you two are alone. A gasp leaves her mouth when she sees it. "I know you’re a little obsessed with ravens lately, and I saw you looking at it that day." You say as an explanation for the gift. "You know, some people believe ravens give bad luck." She tells you with a playful smile. "Sometimes, but to others they symbolize rebirth and starting anew, serving as a positive sign. I think that belief fits better for you." She smiles, before asking you to help her clasp the necklace.

You all stay talking for a while, before her family decides to go to sleep. It’s getting pretty late, but you ask Jenna to stay with you. "I have another gift for you." You tell her when she gives you a puzzled look. You give her the box, nervous about her reaction. When she opens it, she finds a little card

I hope this helps you to 

see the world through my eyes

She lifts the decorative paper, seeing all the photos, each one with a number on them. She takes the first one. It’s a selfie of you two. You took it after the first day you two met. "Turn it around." You tell her in a soft voice, not wanting to change the soft atmosphere. 

I knew since that moment that you were going to be one of the best things in my life. You were the first person to really see me. You didn’t judge me, or force me to talk, you just stayed close and waited for me to come to you. You brought a happiness into my life that I never thought I would have. Thank you.

She whispers your name after reading it, tears already forming in her eyes. She looks at you, before looking back at the box. You never stop looking at her while she reads them all, taking both of you on a trip of your relationship. The one where the cast of Wednesday fills the space, with smiles on your faces after the first week of shooting; Jenna with her siblings decorating the tree; Jenna hugging you from behind, with her arms on your hips, watching the tree after decorating it; you giving Jenna a piggyback ride in her back yard…

When she finishes reading them, she looks back at you, with a look of adoration in her eyes. You stay like that for a while, neither of you wanting to break the moment, before she grabs your cheeks and gives you a soft and chaste kiss on the lips. "Is this ok?" The words get stuck in your throat, so you kiss her softly again, a smile on both of your lips.

Maybe Christmas it’s not that bad

[caelstyx]

Urgent Call: Help Tareq & Dana to Evacuate Gaza

Please consider donating to their gofundme.

Here is there story:

Please read the following statement from my cousin in Gaza sheltering in the church. I pray you can help some of my family members living in Gaza. -Luna Saba Tarazi

Urgent call: Help Tareq and Dana Saba to evacuate Gaza & start over

Introducing us:

‏My name is Tareq Saba, I am 30 years old, a Christian Palestinian. I have lived all my life in Gaza and I have been working as a project coordinator in the humanitarian health field at Caritas Jerusalem in Gaza for the past 5 years.

‏A life that we have dedicated all of our efforts to build despite the difficulties and obstacles in Gaza has suddenly changed overnight. After October 2023, everything has changed, and a lot has been lost. It seems that a life within these walls is now impossible.

‏In the following lines you will learn of our story which after you read, we humbly hope you will lend us your helping hand to start anew.

‏In a warm day on May 2022, Dana and I got married surrounded by our family and friends. We built and designed our house with love and attention to detail. We had a peaceful life and a wonderful home. We had many dreams for our future together, and we dreamed of having a child to fill our lives with joy.

‏Our story and the impact of the war on our family:

‏Nothing remained the same after October the 7th. We learnt the meaning of loss as we lost everything we hold into. We lost our house, our jobs, our “normal” lives, and our dreams and aspirations.

‏One day we received instructions to evacuate our house. We evacuated with only a small bag containing our important papers, some clothes, and a small amount of money. Soon after it got heavily bombed and turned to rubbles of memories. We didn't know that we would never return to the place that held our dearest memories. So yes, we lost everything from the largest details to the smallest ones. And we went through terrible situations that I never thought I would ever experience.

‏It has been over 150 days since we sought refuge at the Church of St. Porphyrius in Gaza, which was not spared from shelling. We survived death several times!

‏Every day is harder than the one before. We fear for our lives due to the lack of basic necessities such as water, food, electricity, medicine, and more. Even the water is contaminated, and diseases and epidemics have spread everywhere.

‏My wife, Dana, was pregnant when the place where my family and I were staying in was targeted by a missile. We remained under the rubbles until we were miraculously rescued. All members of my family, my parents and close relatives, were injured and were transported to the hospital despite the difficulty of access during the shelling, but nothing beats the heartbreak I felt when my wife was injured and we lost our unborn baby.

‏Many of our relatives and friends were killed in this inhumane and unjustified shelling. Only a few of our belongings, lost under the rubble, were recovered. Now even our only “safe” refuge was targeted, and we have no other shelter!

‏I always imagine my baby as a boy while Dana insists they will be a girl but it doesn’t matter, I only prayed they will turn out healthy and safe, but yet again even these prayers were brutally snatched from our hands in front of our eyes and we couldn’t do anything, that’s how helpless I felt when we lost our unborn baby. It is said that the stress, fear, lack of nutrition, contaminated water, and phosphorus caused the miscarriage.

‏We had suffered a miscarriage before, but the pain doesn’t cascade by time, for months we lived through depression. The night we spent under rubbles was a miraculous night, it was impossible to survive under the unforgiving pressure of ruins and then reach the hospital under the heavy bombing but we did and Dana went through a surgery and received treatment.

‏Our house was targeted and destroyed by more than one missile, making it unfit for habitation. It was the dream house that we worked hard to own and design as we dreamed. It became ruins! These are some pictures of the house.

‏It takes one to see death eye to eye to realise the beauty of life. We felt at any moment that we would die, intensifying the reality that our children deserve to live in a place where they don’t wake up everyday to the fear of death and all their demands are met.

‏Dana and I are now back to square one. We lost all the savings of a lifetime and everything we owned in this war. I spent over $80,000 to build and design the house. Currently, the dream house is destroyed, our belongings, clothes, even our memories and beautiful moments were stolen from us. Gaza itself has changed forever, we lost streets, houses, shops, universities, hospitals, and our workplaces.

‏We have almost lost hope, but I believe that we should not despair. With your help, we can succeed. We can stay alive and provide a decent life for my family in a better place. Honestly, this is a real struggle that no one should have to go through.

‏How your fund will help us start anew:

‏Your donations will give our family the motivation to work hard for a fresh start. We have managed to obtain a temporary visa to Australia, and we pray that, with your generosity and assistance, we can raise the necessary funds to leave Gaza.

‏$10,000-12,000 for coordinating the exit through the Rafah border crossing in Egypt.

‏$5,000 for accommodation expenses in Egypt until departure to Australia.

‏$6,000 for plane tickets to leave Egypt.

‏The remaining amount will be used once we arrive in Australia to cover basic expenses such as housing, furniture, food, clothing, and other necessities until I can secure a job in Australia.

‏We know that no one can predict the situation in Gaza. If we cannot travel, whether due to lack of funds, travel risk, or change in accessibility, then we will use the funds collected to meet our needs and rebuild our lives here.

‏Dear friends, we only share our true personal story, and we hope and believe in your support. Every donation, no matter how small, can make a profound difference for us. Our only request remains peace, security, and safety, without fear, doubt, or disappointment, and that tranquility fills our hearts and we have a better future.

‏Whether you donated or not, it is a blessing to know someone out there cares enough to know your story, so Thank you for your time. Keep us in your prayers.

[sirfrogsworth]

I have two best friends.

Which is not an apt description.

Best friends is too small a term to describe what they are to me.

Chosen family. Ride or die. People I would drop everything for if they needed me. People I would protect with my last breath. People who know embarrassing details they will take to the grave.

Now that my mom and dad are gone, they are my lifelong companions. I trust them with my life.

I talk about Katrina all the time. But I tend to keep my friendship with Delling a little more private. I don't love either of them any more or less. There is no ranking system for my besties. But Katrina and I are basically like an old school comedy duo, so we have a lot more shenanigans to share. Shenanigans are easy content for a blog.

Delling is disabled like me. We have a lot of the same consequences from our health issues. Extreme fatigue most of all. Delling was unable to get disability benefits though, so they have to work a 9 to 5 job. And it exhausts them to the limit. They often will work and go straight to bed. If it were possible, I would talk to Delling every single day like I do with Katrina, but circumstances don't always allow for that.

So we have less shenanigans, but the same amount of love.

I'm also a little more protective of Delling at the moment. They are trans and for some reason a large portion of the "very online" people have decided to hate my best friend. And sometimes I worry about drawing attention towards Delling from the few trolls who still hate follow me.

Delling is almost always in my thoughts when I write about trans issues or argue with transphobes on Twitter. But I refuse to invoke "I HAVE A TRANS FRIEND" most of the time. For one, I don't advocate for trans people just because I have a trans friend. Though it does make the emotions I feel very intense sometimes. A lot of tears and anger. But I also don't want to sound like those conservatives who justify everything they say because they have a friend from a marginalized group.

There are certainly times people will be like, "Why would you mutilate someone and cut off healthy breasts??" and I wanna be like "Delling is much happier without boobies and I can see a huge difference since their surgery and you don't know what the fuck you are talking about with that mutilation nonsense. FIGHT ME!"

But I don't think I need to announce my bestie's private top surgery details just to win an argument on Twitter.

I'm just really happy for them and I am glad it helped. They struggled to get the surgery for so long and fought like hell to make it happen. People acting like it is this horrible thing make me so angry. When it finally happened it was... a relief. A weight lifted off their shoulders... err... chest.

After my dad died, Katrina was unable to get away from Florida to help me out. She was dealing with her disabled dog, Lucy, and her end-of-life care. That just isn't something you can ask someone else to look after for a few days. So Delling got permission to do remote work and drove down from the top of the country to help me. They came on the weekend of my dad's service and stayed a few days after to help me get the house sorted.

I'm honestly not sure I could have made it through that experience on my own. During the service, Delling just clung to my side as I tried to act normal when long-lost relatives offered similar grief platitudes over and over. And I kept introducing Delling and saying they were from the wrong state for some reason. I do actually know where Delling lives, but I guess my brain was not functioning in that situation.

Delling also helped me finish my eulogy literally hours before I gave it. And they helped me print out a bunch of photos of my dad that almost no one looked at. I'm so glad we spent all morning frantically doing that. *sigh* Though I'm hoping the photos will come in handy when I do an online memorial for my parents, so it was not all for naught.

There was a moment when a certain someone gave an impromptu speech at the end of the service about how she let my dad see his granddaughter for a couple of hours a year ago and how special that was, and Delling tightly squeezed my hand to help channel away my anger.

Ya know, those totally normal *yearly* visits all grandpas get to have.

Sometimes friends just know, ya know?

Delling and I also revamped the kitchen for my needs, which I have already turned into absolute chaos. And we had a fun shopping trip to Sam's where I bought tender beef jerky that was the toughest to chew jerky I've ever experienced. I guess the "tender" on the label was sarcastic.

All I know is that casually shopping with my friend was this beautiful bonding adventure where we just got to hang out and be together. It's weird the experiences that stick with you. Trying to pick out wholesale sushi with my bestie will be a treasured memory for the rest of my days. And I think that is kinda perfect in its simplicity.

There are not enough thank yous in the world for what Delling did for me. I wish they could have stayed a few months instead of a few days. I miss having them here in person. But they had a foster bunny to take care of and a job and a family. So I had to give Delling back to the top of the country.

I just wanted to write this in appreciation of my other best bestie. I love them more than anything. And I can't tell you all how special it feels to have someone who will drop everything, drive across the country (through tornado weather, no less), and keep you company during a very lonely time.

[jewish-vents]

My entire life, I've yearned for the kind of community the Jewish community and Judaism have provided me. I found out I had Jewish ancestry when I was a kid, I looked into it more later and realized my most recent Jewish ancestor (like three-ish generations back) was almost certainly forcibly converted out, and decided to convert to like. Make amends for that I guess and also because I really vibed with the holidays and how we turn up everywhere in history bc we keep doing cool stuff despite consistently shitty circumstances.

But I digress.

I have waited my WHOLE LIFE trying to experience the joy becoming Jewish has shown me, and that gets shit on constantly.

My sister has started making a truly obscene number of Jew jokes. My mom scoffs at all the 'nonsense rules' and has said repeatedly that she thinks choosing a 'restrictive' religion is dumb and I've made a mistake. She even said it's an insult to HER parenting skills that I would seek out religion after she tried to teach me to know better.

My dad is dead but I never ever in a million years would have told him even if he were alive, and my sister thinks it's funny to threaten to 'out' me as Jewish to his relatives even though they're basically KKK-adjacent so she actually enjoys threatening mg safety at this point. (Yay family right?)

My friends have turned everything into an Israel/Palestine discussion lately and I know damn well what they're doing when they start saying truly horrible shit about Israelis and looking at me. They get mad if I try to temper their extremism so I've given up. I barely talk to them anymore and I spend more and more time with other Jews from temple and I don't want to like. Isolate myself from all non-Jews I guess bc I've always felt like that leads to weirdness and perpetuates shit about Jews being unfriendly I guess idk?

Anyway I digress again. My point is I'm really sick of constantly being expected to tolerate it when people think I shouldn't be Jewish.

Other queer people think I'm somehow compromising my queer identity by being Jewish, leftists think I hunt Palestinian children for sport now apparently, right-wingers think I traffic good Christian babies for organ harvesting or some shit idfk, my friends think that if I'm not being more vitriolic in my hatred of Israel than they already are I'm some kind of secret rabid Netanyahu fan, my family think I've been recruited into a cult apparently and the only other people who show me even an ounce of compassion or regard are other Jews and Gd knows there's like ten of us and that number is unlikely to increase.

Just. Fuck. I've put blood, sweat, tears and money into this, I invested more time and emotional commitment into this than I have into going to college or choosing a career, I love it more than anything and have only loved it more the more I learned about it, and all I get when I express this or even just let slip that I am Jewish and chose to be, I get nothing but hatred. I will never understand how a religion that has spent all 5000 years of our existence minding our business and arguing about the same book over and over can possibly have offended this many people with our existence.

Dmn anon, that is a lot you're dealing with right now. I'm so sorry you're surrounded by people who clearly don't respect you. Because yes this is a lack of basic respect, and it is antisemitic. Now I don't know how old you are and how safe you are, but if you can safely do so, set very hard boundaries. Do not tolerate this amount of disrespect towards who you are. It is hard, and many of us have had to go through similar situations, as you can read all over this blog. But I think having to spend your life surrounded by people who make you feel unsafe and disrespected is worse. I know sometimes there are situations in which people cannot safely set these boundaries, I hope it's not your case, but if it is feel free to come here to vent again.

I know you don't want to isolate yourself from goyim. Many Jewish people don't want to. Sadly, when people disrespect us like this, they're the ones isolating us. It's not your fault. Seek people who love and accept you. Sadly, a good chunk of goyim won't - I'm not saying everyone, obviously, but a portion. Having a good Jewish support network seems to be more and more important, whether it's irl or online.

I hope you can soon be in an environment that's safer and more accepting

- 🐺

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the a-hole for running away from home to avoid having to meet my relatives for Christmas?

I (12M) have never been able to smile naturally. I can force myself to with a bit of work, but it usually hurts a lot, so I'd rather not bother. Mom (40F) and Dad (38M) have always been understanding of that fact, as has my brother (12M), so normally it wouldn't be an issue. However, Mom comes from quite an esteemed family, which is accordingly very strict about our conduct. That I can't just plaster on a perfect, friendly face all the time, is a source of frustration for Mom's siblings, especially two of whom I will call Uncle G (42M) and Aunt K (45F).

The last time I saw them for Thanksgiving, G pulled me aside into the kitchen and threatened to carve my face up with the knives there if I didn't smile, because it was a celebration and we should be happy, and me not smiling brought down the mood. And then, when K caught me not smiling later (because I needed to rest my face), she threatened to pour boiling water on me so as to teach me a lesson about obeying elders.

I'm scared they'll actually go through with it for Christmas, because we were all supposed to stay in one big lodge together for a week, and I can't keep up a smile like that for such a long time. I never told Mom, Dad or my brother about it either, because according to our other uncle D (49M), who is the patriarch of the whole family and a super important politician so he's very wise, sibling relationships are really important. Telling Mom about it will make her argue with K and G, and maybe D as well, and it will ruin her relationship with all of them. And Dad and my brother would just tell Mom anyway.

So when I had just finished packing my bag, the night before we were to leave, a thought suddenly occurred to me. Everything I needed to survive the next few days was in the bag - my clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, water bottle, etc. I could just leave. I thought about Uncle G and Aunt K, and what they would do to me, and, in a moment of impulse, took my bag and left while everyone else was sleeping. I snuck onto a train and made my way to my best friend S's (11F) house. Her mother, Auntie C (older than Mom, F) let me stay at her house for as long as I needed, and offered to call CPS, but I told her not to because Mom's family is important enough that calling the cops on them would probably result in the caller getting arrested instead.

So, right now, I'm with S, we're both officially having our first sleepover (that could potentially last forever) and it's really fun! We had a movie night, and also got to play video games, and I even got to help them make traditional desserts for the solstice (which may or may not have devolved into S and I flinging flour at each other and having to clean the kitchen after that). I'm really thankful that I left and came here instead. But, my parents and brother have apparently been really worried - they even called Auntie C asking if she'd seen me, but I begged her not to tell them so she didn't. We haven't seen any missing child posters go up yet, though that's probably because my relatives don't want people knowing the family managed to lose a child and isn't quite so picture perfect.

I know I should be ashamed of myself for making my family panic so much, especially since I managed to overhear that my brother has been really depressed since I left, so much that he keeps refusing to eat. And I do feel guilty! But going back will just lead to me getting shuttled off to the lodge and getting punished even worse than before. It's selfish, but I don't want to go home. I'm happy here, I'm happy that I left, which is probably why I'm TA. It's been weighing on me, and while S insists I'm NTA, I think she's biased because spending time with friends is fun. So, if anyone out there might offer a more objective view of the situation - AITA?

UPDATE: Basically I still got found anyway, but Auntie C and a few other family friends convinced me to tell my parents about what happened last time. I did, and now Mom has cut all contact with her family. And also G and K are actually getting arrested! Good riddance - I just found out that they had been really harsh to my brother too, and he also didn't tell anyone for the same reason as me. I'm honestly starting to wonder if D's emphasis on siblings might have messed up our entire family a bit...

[jojotichakorn]

for the game - phum 🤲

you said i should do all of them, which is insane, but also thank you weeeee ✨🫶

i'm gonna put the headcanons under the cut though, y'all can send asks with other characters (& emojis) from here

🏳️‍🌈 a sexuality headcanon

i personally definitely headcanon him as gay.

🏳️‍⚧��� a gender headcanon

a good ol' cis boy.

😇 a headcanon about their religion/lack thereof

hmmm... i'd imagine he's probably not religious, because he was shipped off from thailand at a really early age, and no one was socialising him and really involving him in the culture oversees either, so religion probably just kind of naturally passed him by. at this stage, i also can't imagine when he would discover it later in life on his own either.

🧸 a headcanon about their childhood

well 💀 horrors beyond our comprehension, basically. tbh, we know quite a bit about it, but just to solidify, i think 1) his parents and oldest brother genuinely never called to talk to him; 2) fang did call almost every day, but it got to this slightly weird juxtaposition of like "oh, you're calling me, but then if i start complaining about the horrific situation i'm in, you shut me down", so it wasn't Great, 3) the distant relatives he lived with did not care about him at all, it was truly unimaginable levels of neglect; 4) he had zero friends and the "i cried every day" thing was not an exaggeration.

👻 a headcanon about what scares them

well, we know about heights. for some reason, i also think darkness. that's if we're talking specifically classic fears. if we're talking more psychological - definitely fear of rejection and abandonment.

👽 a headcanon about a weird quirk of theirs

i do not think he sleeps with his plushies, that's not really their function. they are a comfort item during the day and also just a special interest on their own, as a collection.

💤 a headcanon about their sleep

i actually think he has a really hard time falling asleep, specifically because he isn't used to feeling safe, and that's also why he wakes up at the smallest sound.

🦾 a disability headcanon

autism in the biggest boldest letters.

💝 a headcanon about their love language

i'm gonna be honest, it's all of them equally. he is very acts of service, he starts driving peem around everywhere almost right away, he exchanges food with both peem and fang, so they wouldn't eat what they don't like. crossing over into gift-giving as well, he bought peem a bunch of seafood even though he doesn't eat it because they were at sea and peem would have wanted to eat it, he buys peem stuff all the time tbh, he pays for toey as well. quality time is also up there - he follows peem around everywhere and doesn't mind just sitting there in silence while peem works on his art. physical touch, of course, he can't stop touching and kissing peem. finally, words of affirmation, he is really good at compliments and just talking about how much he loves spending time with his friends etc. like i always say, his heart is the size of a skyscraper, and he has so much love to give.

🫂 a friendship headcanon

he still has a really hard time making friends and i think it will take him a long time to actually start hanging out with his new friends from peem's friend group separately and not when everyone is invited.

💔 an angsty headcanon

his self-worth is incredibly shakey, it's truly like a game of tumble tower, when you can see that it's gonna fall on the next player's turn. and i think that, though it will get better, especially if the family thing is resolved correctly, it will genuinely take decades to deal with it fully.

🪢 a headcanon about their family

his parents are gonna get hit by a bus that will be driven by someone who looks suspiciously like me :)

📓 a headcanon about their hobbies

i think he definitely has a hobby that involves a lot of reality-escaping. probably not video games, because i can't remember seeing a good pc/console at his apartment. i am leaning more towards books and/or movies/series, something like that.

👗 a headcanon about their clothes

he does not really care about fashion rip 😔

🔪 a headcanon relating to fighting/violence

unlike fang, i actually don't think he was ever that big into it. he ended up in a couple of fights anyway, because of fang, but he himself is very 👉👈

🌟 a headcanon about their desires/wishes

i think he wants kids, but is afraid he is going to make a terrible father, because he hasn't really had any good examples of parenting throughout his childhood.

🥇 a headcanon about what they’re best at

perhaps a slightly weird answer to a question that's probably leaning more towards skills and achievements, but i'm gonna say taking care of people. he is very attentive and loving, he is genuinely just incredibly good at the small gestures and remembering things about other people and giving the right gifts and saying the right thing at the right time, etc. etc.

🍫 a headcanon about food

he eats a very limited amount of food, which is also why fang can only cook spaghetti - he learned to cook it specifically for phum, and phum just kept asking for the same thing every day. i wouldn't be surprised, if he isn't actually allergic to seafood as well, but just says that, because it's easier than explaining that he eats exactly seven foods and nothing else.

🎭 a headcanon about what they lie about

his exact feelings about his parents. i think he's been shamed a lot for feeling the way he does towards them, so he keeps making things up and skirting around the conversation, so he wouldn't have to directly say "i do not want to see them anymore".

❤️‍🔥 a romantic headcanon

he is extremely romantic in my opinion. i think he believes in soulmateism and true love and the whole shebang. i think he watches lots of romcoms and has probably seen every mlm storyline in existence, dreaming of his own gay little relationship. he has all the proper romantic gestures down to a fine art too, obviously.

💄 an appearance headcanon

yes, he did dye his hair that shade of brown to look more like a teddy bear. slash srs

🖕 a headcanon relating to anger

anger is his mortal enemy. he has a lot of it pent up inside (understandably so), but he thinks it's a very ugly feeling he is "not supposed to feel", so he suppresses it. whenever he feels angry, he just kind of goes inside his shell and leaves the situation.

😺 an animal related headcanon

he is a cat person (hence, peem).

😬 a headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

straight up the agreement he made with peem at the beginning.

😭 a headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them

being abandoned by his parents at five years old.

😶 a random headcanon!

he isn't as close to toey as he'd like to be, because he is 1) autistic and 2) not particularly well-socialised, so he has a hard time really understanding what social rules to follow for their particular relationship. in his head, he definitely considers toey his younger brother and would absolutely just spoil him rotten and hang out with him a lot, but not a lot of that gets actualised in reality, because he's a little afraid of making any sudden big moves or actively saying that he feels about toey the same way fang feels about him.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my fiancee do extra flights to pick me up and drop me off again?

For context, I'm 24M and my fiancee is 26NB. I'm disabled and can't fly alone because of it, though to be honest even if I was able-bodied I likely still wouldn't be able to due to also having AvPD.

We're in a long-distance relationship - I live in Scotland, and she lives in Indiana, USA. We've met up several times before, all of which were her flying out to visit me with me paying for all of her flights and our accommodation etc. We began to talk about moving in together and getting her a Visa to live here, but her family understandably said they wanted to meet me first (she still lives with her parents), so I agreed that before focusing on any of that I would visit her there for a few weeks as well to meet her relatives and let her show me around like I had with her.

Since I'd paid for all of her visits here, the agreement would be that she'd pay for my flight there this time. However at the time I made it pretty clear that if I couldn't find anyone to go with me (which was doubtful from the beginning as all of my family work full-time and I don't have many IRL friends who'd be able to travel with me for weeks at a time) it would be a case of "either I have to get picked up or I can't go at all". She agreed to this and said she'd be fine with doing that as long as I paid for those flights, which I was more than happy to do as they're a favour/accommodation for me.

To try and ease the pain-in-the-ass'ness of her having to do an extra trip out here and back just for me, we arranged for her to stay here with me for a week before and a week after so it's not a case of her getting off a plane, grabbing me, and getting on another plane and she can have a break. Accommodation is all sorted for that and everything already which I'm paying for as well. Everything's been booked and she seemed totally fine with this (beyond some understandably minor grumbling about how annoying and tiring it'll be to do the extra flights which like, fair, it will be).

However, after the tickets were booked, pretty much everyone she knows blew up at me over those extra flights. As far as I'm aware her parents/friends knew that's what we'd need to do, but I guess were holding out hope I'd be able to get someone to come with me, which unfortunately I wasn't (and trust I asked everyone I possibly could because I wasn't really looking forward to throwing out the extra £2k as a disabled person who can't work either), and now that it was confirmed my fiancee would have to be doing the extra trips they were really angry about her doing it.

Her parents have, for lack of a better term, gone completely berserk. Her mom has locked herself in her room, her dad came into her room while we were on call to scream that she wasn't going and that it made no sense, that if I couldn't fly by myself then they aren't going to let her move in with me either, they removed my name from their family signs and shit, it's a whole thing. They've basically completely frozen me out over these extra trips. I know at least one of her friends is also incredibly angry at me for 'making' her do it, and has told my fiancee something along the lines of "If I ever meet him I'll be sure to make him feel guilty for this" and as far as I know has actively said they hate me over it. Everyone is telling her to cancel the trip over it, which we can't do because we just spent thousands on non-refundable tickets (and which we don't want to do anyway!).

My fiancee was taking the "Why don't they understand you're disabled?" route to me but I was worried she was saying something else to them and that's why they were so angry, but I've double and triple checked with her that she's not actually secretly super against the idea, and she confirmed again that beyond her being a little annoyed about the extra time/effort it's fine and she's down to do it and that she understands why we have to do it this way. I've apologised over and over because I KNOW it's complicated and annoying and inconvenient and if there was another way I could find I would love to take it. I've tried to do everything I can to make up for it, cover everything financially, give her the extra buffers of time before and after so it's not just a pick-up drop-off trip and is just like an extra visit here, I can't think of what else to do to make it better for her and everyone else.

But her family and friends' reactions have made me second guess everything like - is this more than just an annoying inconvenience? Am I being completely unreasonable by asking her to do it at all? It seems like everyone did a complete 180 on their attitudes towards me over it and it's making me wonder if it's actually way bigger than I can see.

What are these acronyms?

[kaccvcate]

second autobiographical essay below

The first sixteen years of my life I spent with my mom, and they were honestly the motherfucking worst.

My mom met my step dad larping when I was about 2, he was 16, and she was 26. She got pregnant, they got married, and he started sexually abusing me right away. When my brother was born, I couldn't stand him and was a complete cunt to him (sorry dude, I was a kid and I didn't know better.)

When I started school, I struggled to focus and did very poorly, and my mom and step dad would beat me and take all my things out of my room except for furniture, and lock me in there except to use the bathroom, for months on end, until they thought my grades were good enough. My step dad would come into my room at night and touch me. He would also jump out at me around corners and "wrestle" with me (pretending to wrestle for fun so he could squeeze my tits.) I would struggle and yell, and bite him as hard as I could, and my mom would punish me for hurting him. Sometimes he would do it in front of her, and when I complained to her, she would call me a liar. (His name again: Rigel Cameron Freeman.)

We moved pretty much every year because my parents struggled to maintain jobs. Mainly we lived in different parts of Gainesville, Florida, but we also briefly lived in Raleigh, North Carolina. At school I was usually the only non Christian kid, and I was a complete asshole because my family life was so horrible, so no one liked me and I was bullied constantly. I spent a lot of time in class, and all my time at recess, drawing and making up imaginary friends, or reading books about talking cats (I was very misanthropic, something I still struggle with.) When I was in late elementary to middle school, I made a few friends I still talk to. That was also the same time as my first suicide attempt (5th grade), and when I started self harming.

When I was 12 I dyed my hair red, and my friend's dad named me Red (their family were Irish and Cherokee.) I had been called lots of other names before that, basically something different by each relative, and the only thing everyone could agree on was that none of them suited me (and no one ever called me my government name.) After I was named Red, I dyed my hair every other color you can think of, but my name has stayed the same.

The same year, I moved to Miami, and that began a new isolated phase in my life that led to me becoming interested in magick. My mom had never lived in a major city before, and we ended up moving to a pretty sketchy neighborhood (gunshots almost every night, drive bys, etc.) In our home country (Mississippi) kids are simply expected to fend for themselves outdoors until supper. Now that I was trapped inside with my incredibly abusive family, I had nothing to turn to but the internet (something I'm sure many of us here can relate to.)

I became interested in magic through mythology. I had always found other pre-Christian cultures fascinating, since I wasn't allowed to learn anything about my own, and I discovered through Wikipedia and Google searches that people still practiced the pagan European religions of my ancestors. Through neopaganism, I began to learn about ceremonial magic extremely quickly, feeling as though it was the one piece of my life I'd been missing, finding that I had an innate understanding of something other than visual art for the first time. It wasn't long before I was ready to try my first invocation. I had always wondered if I had a "spirit animal," or a guide, which I knew must be part of my subconscious, and recognizing immediately that I could use ritual meditation to access this, I crafted my first ritual based on some uninitiated wiccan articles I had been reading, and what implements I had laying around. I set out a circle of stones, invoked the four quadrants with a candle at each cardinal direction, laid out offerings of oil, salt, and water, lit an incense cone, and two additional candles for the Mother and Father. My practice is very different now, but my results at the time were extraordinarily intense. When I closed my eyes, this is what I saw:

Dense forest, high on the mountain. It's foggy and overcast, but it's summertime. The rocks are covered with moss, thick and green. I look down at my sandy brown forepaws and know that I am a panther. I begin to stroll, and I can feel the power in my muscles. I'm strong and free.

I opened my eyes, and was back in my bedroom, surrounded by rocks and candles. Shortly afterward, my mom mentioned Scott Panther to me for the first time (I didn't remember meeting him as a baby.) I'm sure it will confuse some that my first experience with a native archetype, my family animal, was through a European style ritual. Hey, think how I feel! I should have been able to take peyote and meet a mountain lion face to face to earn my name, like any decent person. Unfortunately, since I was so isolated, I didn't have the privilage. My connection to the panther is extremely deep - some of my first dreams were of being a cat, and the first time I prayed (age 8) it was to "StarClan," which, for the uninitiated, is the clan of dead cats who live in the sky in the children's book series Warrior Cats (I still like to think my cat ancestors are up there watching.) I've always studied cat behavior and embodied cat energy, even before I had any vision, but in my life that was treated as something annoying and strange by the people around me, rather than the sacred mystical practice it was. When I had cats in my life, I prioritized them, often over my own health and safety. Even though I only have a dog now, I still consider cats to be my teachers. I can't say whether my conceptualization of reality and my experiences is native, or European, but I would guess it's a mix of both, like me.

I started high school at MAST Academy in Miami, a school for "future scientists." My family always discouraged me from drawing or playing music, often my instruments would be taken away or sold, or I would have nothing but lined notebook paper to draw on (I would only get things I needed for school.) Since all I had to decide a "career" on was my passion for non-human animals, I thought I might be a zoologist. It was a lot less horrible than most other high schools in a lot of ways, and a few of the teachers even treated me like a person (cheers.) I started visiting my dad a little during this period, he began teaching me about Jewish mysticism and Kaballah, what little I could understand, and I began to read from his collection of books on magick and the occult.

During my second year of high school, my mom and step dad moved to the Netherlands, and brought me with them. I was too young and shy (scared) to have any fun, and I just thought about suicide constantly. My mom would never stop yelling at me about everything, telling me how l worthless I am. I caught my step dad taking pictures of me as I got out of the shower, and my little brother told me he caught him watching me sleep through the window over my bedroom door (you could stand at the top of the stairs and look right through it.) I became paranoid he was going to start raping me again, like he did when I was younger, and slept with a knife beside me, when I could sleep. (Again, his name is Rigel Cameron Freeman, and he is a computer programmer who works in the video game industry.)

The only positive part of my life during this period was an online death cult I joined, called Les Fleurs de la Mort. I can't talk about our practices in detail, but it lead me to get really into gardening, which was probably the healthiest possible pastime for me. I don't think I've spoken to any of my fellow Fleurists in years, but if any y'all are reading this, meow.

After I turned 16, I got the chance to visit my dad back in Miami (court ordered), and I refused to return to my mom. I haven't heard from my mom or step dad since then, except for a handful of extremely rude emails from my mom before covid, and I hope that's the end of it.

Rigel Cameron Freeman, the pedophile who made my life hell and molested me constantly throughout my childhood, currently has sole custody of my youngest sibling, who's 9. (He was born after I left, and we've never met.)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi there, mind if I bother you for a advice when you're free?

I'm a Brazilian girl with 14(read all your boundaries for minors and I'm trying to follow reach of them) and basically my life turned upside down for me a bit after the start of 2023(I think?)

My mom fell in a trap on the internet and lost a lot of money from our family, from both close and not so close relatives. Sometime later my dad got fired and we had to cut many things out of our lives because we didn't had the money to keep these things anymore, and my grandparents from my mom's side are not so well (grandpa's has breathing problems and is going blind while grandma's starting to forget things)

And we just discovered that I am autistic (and already knew I had ADHD since 2022) so everyone's trying to adjust to somethings I simply can't deal with, along with trying to deal with the fact my older sister ran away after many arguments about her mental health struggles and abusive relationship and that if my parents try and reach out by me and my little sister she going to cut contact completely (we know where she is and that she's currently ok btw)

My mom already has a lot of problems with her mental and physical health, my little sister has anxiety and still doesn't goes to therapy, my dad has quite harsh anger issues although he mostly keeps them at bay.

And then we have me, the autistic ADHD teenager struggling with school who's about to go to college (I think? Don't know about American/British system works) and really, really, really wants to go to her graduation trip that costs a lot while not knowing how to deal with her emotions and is in the constant shadow of her older sister, all of that while knowing one of her old friends who she had considered a sibling once has been spreading lies and saying their much better without her and apparently is trying to break her friendship with her current best friend (if it is true it's working).

And now I don't know what do I do to put my life back on the tracks.

Feel free to not answer or just ignore this if you want, but thanks for the opportunity of letting me vent. And I'm sorry if there are any mistakes on my English

Hi hon <3

No worries about English at all <3

Honestly, I think you need to focus on the things YOU can change. Unfortunately, you might not be able to change things with your parents, or your sister, or your financial situation. Those are things for adults to worry about. I don't mean that it a way to make you seem like a 'stupid kid' I mean, let them worry about it. You still have time to be a kid- I know it's hard, but try to take advantage of it.

As far as school and friends, these are things we can focus on. Talk with your teachers about what work on in school and what THEY can do to help you. Talk with your best friend about your worries. I know life is scary right now, but focus on those things that you can make changes about. Also maybe if your school has a counselor, talk to them as well? Especially since you have autism, your school should be giving you resources to succeed.

I know this is alll difficult, but take some deep breaths and know that it will be okay and I'm here for you to vent <3

Naming you yarn anon

[nuzifanficwriter]

Chapter 1 - Namie 3097

I rub my eyes to see my father standing above me holding a party hat and a pack of candles. Oh yeah. 19 years and 9 months ago my parents got drunk and conceived me at a party. At least that’s what my Aunt V says. I mean I believe her because mom never denies it and dad….is really wholesome and never talks about it. It’s surprising he knocked up my mom twice. I guess it’s hard for any kid to imagine their parents making them, but it was hard for everyone to process my father doing that stuff. So despite my mom getting pregnant twice, I’m an only child. A rainbow baby. That’s why my name is Namie. It’s Japanese for miracle or little help. My dad wanted a cheesy name with a meaning and my mom loves anime. Some people think I’m cool, some call me a freak of nature. I’m like a cross breed if that term even works for robots. My mom, Uzi Doorman, is a worker drone. My dad, N Doorman, is a disassembly drone. My dad and his “sisters” don’t have last names, so he took my mom’s. The story on how they met is so long, someone should’ve made an 8 episode show on it. Everyone knows the story. It’s basically a whole lesson in our history classes, which makes it really easy for me to pass, but all eyes are on me. They also know my dad is a stay at home dad while my mom inherited the WDF from my grandfather. Robo-god, just introducing my family would take ages, and I only truly have 4 real relatives. Apparently my dad  must’ve been rambling when I tuned out because he’s still talking when I snap back to it; “-and your Aunt Tessa baked a wonderful cake and your mom helped make a playlist of that scenecore music you like!” “6arelyhuman and Ayesha Erotica?” I ask. “Yeppers!” my dad grins his stupid, child-like grin my mom fell in love with, “and I got the best gift ever! But we have to share it.” Dad winks and I already have the feeling he and mom built a robo-puppy but I keep it to myself. I tell him to leave so I can get dressed and he does. I grab my fishnet undershirt, later over a black tank top and my green and black checkered alien shirt. I pull up my rainbow and black striped skirt, my fishnet leggings, and I lace up my boots. I add my striped leg warmers and gloves. I wrap my choker around my neck and now I’m good to go! I walk out to the kitchen to see an arrangement of my friends and family…..and my parents making out in the corner. I thought parents were supposed to mellow out after having kids? “Ewww! Get a room!” I joke. Aunt V joins in; “I’ve been telling them that for 25 years!” “It’s disgusting,” chimes Aunt J. “I’m surprised mom and dad invited you,” I say. Aunt J flips her now singular ponytail, “They didn’t, I just showed up.” Dad takes mom off the counter and sets her on the floor; “Actually, your Aunt Tessa wanted her to come.” Aunt J rolls her eyes. She’s done nothing but bully my dad since they were kids. “Aunt Cyn couldn’t make it?” I ask. Everyone in the room grows these devious grins. Finally, dad responds, “she will, she’ll just be late.” “Ah, I see,” I say as I slink in my chair in front of the cake. They sing happy birthday and I blow out my candles. It’s time for my presents and Aunt Cyn bursts through the door. She silently apologizes as she sets my present on the stack. Ever since she got taken over by the solver, that became her voice, so when my mom healed everyone with the patch, she became mute. Her voice box was destroyed. I’ve never heard her speak. Now everyone’s deciding which present to open next. Aunt Cyn’s or Dad’s. We settle in Aunt Cyns, and it’s a pretty basic gift, but it’s what comes with it that makes it better than Dad’s. As she hands it to me, I hear, seemingly out of no where, “Here, open mine first!everyone cheers and I give her a big hug. “Aunt Cyn! Your voice!“ She laughs, “That’s why I was late!” After everyone calms down, I open Dad’s obvious gift of a robo-puppy. We’ll name him in a bit. I’m ready to party.