#our misanthropic bois have FRIENDS at last!!

[pushing500]

We had a quest to give some (42) tank tops to a nearby settlement. Kwahu is a fast crafter, and we had lots of bison wool from our pet bison, Tequila, so we decided to take it. Why not?

Now we have allies! That's nice. They still get upset when we yeet toxic wastepacks into the ocean, though :(

So, remember that baby we have in cryptosleep? We haven't done anything with her yet because we were building a room (and also our dog died, then our triplet died, then we had a potentially dangerous creepjoiner, then we lost some limbs... It's been a hectic quadrum, okay??).

However, with the addition of a masterwork crib and a lick of paint, the room is finally ready, and so are the boys...

Of course, we couldn't have a baby without one last reprimand from Mechi. I wonder what the Jones boys will decide to call their new ward? 🤔

I suppose we'll find out next time...

First | Next | Previous

This episode of "A Mechanitor's Message" is brought to you by...

... Augustín the Boomrat, who just arrived today and will keep me company while I play through the rest of the series,

and...

... These friendly little stars I made at work today and left sitting on a desk for one of my coworkers to hopefully find and surely be delighted by 🙃

[writefightandflightclub]

Horny Misanthrope (Nathan Bateman x fem!reader)

Summary: Nathan isn’t the ideal wedding “plus one”. Somehow though, all of that doesn’t matter, when he’s the perfect “plus one” to you. (Angst / argument which becomes fluff/soft Nathan.)

Author’s note: another one that has been sat 90% done in my drafts for an age as I wasn’t sure about it. Could do with a bit more development on it before posting, but, here it is anyway! I thought Nathan deserved to get out of the house for once, and why keep him cooped up any longer :P 

Warnings: 18+ for sexual themes. mentions of fingering; arguing; Nathan being insensitive / an ass (his usual self). Language. Alcohol mentions. Family drama. DEFINITE TYPOS. 

GIF: @twillight​

The only person Nathan Bateman plays well with is himself. Okay - and lately, you. But Nathan Bateman is not the kind of guy you bring to meet your parents, turns out.

Of course he isn’t. What had you even been thinking?!

He looked every bit the ideal wedding date. He looked dapper, suave, and impossibly handsome. He looked adoringly at you. At least, people might interpret his intense, sexual hunger for you as adoration, if they weren’t looking too hard at the way his eyes followed you, or the fact they followed your ass everywhere it went in that dress.

Nathan, however, had spent the whole ceremony - the nuptials of a close family friend- whispering in your ear and jeering at the “embarrassing” sentimentality of it all. He had spent the duration of the speeches trying to discreetly (and then much less discreetly) slip his (deliciously girthy, by the way) fingers in-between your legs, and he had spent the majority of the three-course dinner sitting insulting every single person on your table in one way or another. Including your parents. (Read; especially your parents.)

The worst part, is that he has spent the whole day completely oblivious to your frustrations. You know how he is, of course. He’s... different. He doesn’t see the world like everyone else does. That’s one of the things you love about him, and it’s not as if you expect him to change. It’s just... you thought he might at least make an effort. You thought he might avoid making your auntie burst into tears over her pudding, at a bare minimum.

Were you wishing for the impossible in asking Nathan to behave? Were you being cruel and expecting him to be something he’s not? He simply doesn’t play well with others. Except for when he plays with you... Usually.

Safe to say, it wasn’t going well. The last straw came, however, when the tables were finally pushed back for dancing. Your father had just pulled you aside to ask you what in the hell you saw in him, and then had proceeded to come at you with: don’t you want to find “a nice, stable man” to settle down with instead of - and you quote- “an arrogant, robot-fucking troglodyte? Don’t you think you can do better than a horny misanthrope, sweetpea”? And then, you had pulled Nathan aside, tears of frustration spilling down your face.

You were tired. Tired from having to justify your love for Nathan when all the good things about him were less visible from first impressions, and when he didn’t exactly make a good case on his own behalf.

And then, you were more than tired. You were exhausted. Exhausted because, after defending him to your parents and your family friends, he really had the cheek to come out with: “Are you going to ruin the day by crying right now, honey?”

And, oh boy, that -and the coldness in his tone when he said it- had further tears spilling down your face.

“I can’t help you if you’re going to be emotional about this,” Nathan sighs, trying to gently jostle you towards the restroom by the elbow. “My share prices will plummet if you’re papped crying like this, baby. Why don’t you go get cleaned-up?” You’ll give him the benefit of the doubt this time, and assume that was a vain attempt at humour, because, my goodness, if it wasn’t, then hell... part of you is sure you would tank Blue Book on purpose.

“Well how can I talk to you if you’re going to be a fucking robot?” you bite back. “If you’re not even going to try to understand?”

“Okay, so it’s not going well then,” he says, oblivious. “Did your dad like me, at least?”

“That’s a hard no,” you exclaim in disbelief, and all Nathan does is shrug and smile, exhaling an indignant breath. It’s not that he’s unlikable, per se. The problem is, he doesn’t care -doesn’t give a fuck- if he’s liked or not. Yes, he has a huge ego, but at the same time, he’s the furthest thing from a people-pleaser. It barely occurs to him to make an effort with people - anyone beyond you. But you do care if he’s liked. These particular people matter to you.

All you wanted from today was for your family to see how happy he makes you -weird as that fact is- and for them to start to believe that you really could have a future with him. From the start, they’d insisted that you’d never be anything more to him than a fling, and now... Well, now the whole thing is a mess. It makes it worse that maybe they are right. Maybe you don’t have a future with him, after all.

Nathan opens his mouth to speak but by this point in the day, you don’t want to hear it. You raise a palm silently as tears pool into the corner of your eyes all over again.

“No! Don’t say anything,” you say defeatedly. “You’ll just weevil your way into my head and turn everything around.”

He clamps his mouth shut, and instead he reaches his hand out towards your arm.

“Don’t touch me either. You can’t fix everything with that tongue and those fingers of yours.”

“You could let me try though?” he flirts despite how misplaced it is, ticking up his eyebrow suggestively.

You fold your arms and stamp your foot on the floor in frustration. Is he even listening to you? “Nathan!” you plead, begging him to acknowledge you.

“Okay. Okay,” he surrenders, reluctantly. “Help me out here. What did I even do wrong?”

“Everything,” you sigh, tired that he just can’t (or won’t) see it. 

He bristles at that, and lifts his glasses to massage his eyes and brow in frustration with the pads of his fingers. He lets out a hearty sigh, as though he’s tired too. As though you’re not even worth this hassle.

“If this is about your aunt, it’s not exactly my fault she’s such a passionate fan of Donny fucking Osmond. Don’t you think she might be a little overinvested, huh?! Maybe that’s why she cried into her fucking ice cream?”

Overinvested? That’s rich, coming from the guy who’s relentlessly obsessive.

“It’s not the Donny fucking Osmond comment,” you bite through your teeth. “It’s the way you spoke to her. You just...” you wave your arms around in the air, gesticulating angrily. “You’re rude to people. Dismissive. You mocked the whole ceremony, you kept trying to feel me up the whole time, you insulted my entire family. And my dad, Nathan. You made my dad hate you so much that he called you an arrogant, robot-fucking, troglodyte and a horny misanthrope.”

You growl as Nathan’s mouth tips into a lopsided smile.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! It’s not a fucking compliment!” you huff, raising your arms into the air and slapping them back down again, defeated, before bringing up a single finger to wag in his direction, spitting your words out now. “And don’t you dare say anything about him being upset that I call you Daddy, because I will fucking end you.”

Nathan supresses a full-blown smile- at least, he tries, he really does.

“Honey?” he says more softly, at least avoiding riling you any further. “You know all this about me. I’m not sentimental. I say what I think. I’m... essentially a horny misanthrope.” Oh, fuck, he’s adopting that, isn’t he? He fucking would. He says it with pride already. “But... is that so bad? Didn’t we kinda bond over our enjoyment of fucking each other and avoiding everyone else?”

Your anger dissolves into tears which brim in your eyes.

“Yes,” you admit, burying your face in your hands.

“Then what is it I’m missing?” he says, sounding as exasperated as you feel.

“I thought you wanted to be part of my life, Nathan. That’s what you said. But... if you don’t want... this? Then what are we even doing? I make an effort for you at all those shitty business galas, you know. And believe me I don’t like the sexist dudebro CEOs I have to rub shoulders with... but I make an effort because it’s important to you, and you’re important to me. I just wanted the same from you.”

“I thought you liked those galas,” he frowns, missing the point all over again. Why are you even surprised anymore, honestly?

You raise your hands in the air in frustration and pace away from him, further out of the view and earshot of the other guests. He follows. By this point you aren’t even sure if you want him to follow.

“Yeah, of course you think so. Because you’re too busy having your ego massaged and winning awards to notice. And because I make an effort. I don’t even make your rivals cry into their pudding.”

Though you admit, even as you say it, that can’t imagine Musk weeping into his dessert because of you, even if you tried. Maybe your auntie is a little overinvested.

“The fucking aunt thing again? For real? Fuck’s sake,” Nathan says, gritting his teeth. “Fine, don’t come to the galas again. Settled.”

“Fuck, Nathan? It’s not about the fucking galas! Are you being purposefully obtuse?”

“No,” he growls, clenching his jaw tightly.

“Makes a fucking change,” you say.

“I wanted to be here,” he says adamantly. “I just wanted to be with you. All this other shit doesn’t fucking matter to me,” he states, sweeping his hand through the air, gesturing around him.

“That’s exactly my point! I’m not asking you to gush over the fucking floral arrangements. We can head back to the suite later and you can bitch all you like about how schmaltzy this whole fuckin’ thing is. But the problem is, I know you can be charming when it’s something that matters to you, Nathan. I’ve seen you schmooze investors, and partners. And this matters to me,” you say, stabbing your finger against your own chest, and then releasing a pent up breath. “It matters to me. That’s all I’m trying to tell you. I guess you just have to decide if I matter enough to you, or not.”

You are greeted by silence as he sets his jaw again, tendons slipping over bone, his gaze stern and impenetrable.

Fucking great. Just about sums it up.

You simply exhale an indignant breath.

You are tired.

Tired of this.

Your body sags. All of the fire saps from your voice, and you reach into your purse, your tone muted and dull. Unfeeling. Like him. Like one of his machines. 

“Look, Nathan, if you don’t want to be here, here’s the hotel key,” you say, slipping the fob into his palm. “Go away if you like. If you don’t want me, and all my human baggage, feel free to build yourself another fucking robot.”

You throw him a cold glance and you sweep away into the bathroom to wipe your tears away, and then to repeat the cycle by crying a few more.

By the time you surface again, Nathan is gone.

Despite how much it hurts you, you smooth your features and venture back into the throng, trying your best to put a brave face on it, for the happy couple’s sake. Nathan’s an obvious miss, to all of the guests in there who wonder why you are suddenly without your eccentric, billionaire boyfriend. But, most of all, he’s an obvious miss to you. To you, he’s simply your boyfriend, and you would have liked him by your side today. Today and all the days following, if you’re honest with yourself.

Still, perhaps he did play best alone. Perhaps Nathan just wasn’t suited to being anyone’s plus one; for weddings or for life.

You plaster a smile on your face as you link back up with an old childhood friend of yours, and leave your personal dramas to one side to concentrate on the day at hand... and, you have to admit, it does go a little more smoothly without him.

***

It is an hour or so later when you catch a glimpse of Nathan re-entering the room, out of the corner of your eye. You are shocked to see him again. You had expected him to retire back to the suite for the rest of the night, and to take the edge off his sorrows with the (entire) contents of the hotel mini bar.

Your stomach clenches, and you hope desperately that he hasn’t, in fact, done exactly that; raided the hotel mini bar and subsequently come back, determined to raise a scene.

You tense-up as you watch him beeline determinedly toward your father -the last thing you needed was for your dad to add “drunk” to his list of unkind descriptors of your man- and you watch the initial scene unfold from behind your fingers; however, you’re shocked when Nathan seems to politely approach the older man, locking eyes with a wide, charming smile. He almost looks... deferential? Apologetic? Not words you’d ever think to associate with Nathan Bateman.

From what you can observe, your father looks sceptical, and appears to respond brusquely at first; but you are shocked when Nathan extends a hand towards him and they shake firmly, as if reconciling. You watch slack-jawed as Nathan whisks your father to the bar to buy him a drink -declining one of his own- and you are especially surprised when you see the two of them engaged in what looks - from a distance, at least- a lot like a pleasant conversation.

You then watch, still slack-jawed, and feigning interest in your own company’s talking points and pleasantries, as Nathan circulates around the room, appearing to gradually make peace with everyone he upset earlier. Even reaching out to others he didn’t speak with before. Chatting happily to the bride and groom.

Has he made a robot version of himself? (If so, can you keep it?)

After a while, he finally meets your eyes from across the room, and he holds the connection for a moment, his gaze travelling over you from head to toe -but not hungrily, like usual; softly somehow, in a way which makes you feel revered and almost like you are floating. Like you are the only thing he can see in the room. The way he’s looking at you practically steals the air from your lungs, and then, as quickly as it came, he unceremoniously dips away again, to continue determindely on with his act of penitence.

Suddenly you feel the loss of him all over again.

He circulates around so many people in the room, until finally he comes to you, with a warm, broad hand resting on the middle of your back. Back to your side. The one person he has yet to make peace with, and the most important.

He comes over to you, looking every bit the ideal wedding date.  He looks dapper, suave, and impossibly handsome. He looks adoringly at you. 

“Can I borrow you, for this dance?” he asks, his usually calculating, inpenetrable eyes somehow softer and deeper.

The look he’s giving you almost makes you feel as though you are meeting him for the first time and being swept off your feet all over again... which, now that you think about it, never actually happened the first time... unless a hot, urgent fuck with your face being rammed into his keyboard counted as romance? To be fair, maybe it did, in Nathan Bateman Land.

“You sure, Bateman? It’s not disco,” you say, your lips curling up into a gently teasing smile as you draw attention to the cheesy power ballad being played. “Sure you’ve got the moves?” 

He simply nods at you, and extends his hand to you, and you let him lead you away into the floor of gently swaying couples, bathed in the fragmented light of a glitterball.

He wraps an arm firmly around you and tugs you close to him, and his other hand clasps yours gently in his as he rocks you, in time to the music. It is so unlike him that you open your mouth in disbelief to question it, and yet, Nathan is the one to speak first, his brow furrowed in concentration, as if his coming words are an effort.

“I’m... sorry,” he says, and although it seems to have pained him, his apology sounds genuine.

“Why, what did you say to my dad this time?” you idly tease, even as you genuinely wonder what he has been up to.

“Hi. I’m a little weird and intense,” he relays. “I’ve lived in a concrete house underground for a couple of years. We got off on the wrong foot, buddy. Let me get you a beer. Tell me more about your daughter. Did you know how fucking much I love her?”

You feel a surge of emotion when his voice cracks during his final sentence, tears gently swelling in your eyes. Sometimes, you just don’t know if Nathan feels things... aside from in the crotch area - it’s pretty clear he feels things for you there. With his emotions, he’s generally bottled-up and withholding, and it feels really good to hear it out said loud like that.

He loves you.

“Were those your exact words?” 

His mouth quirks up and he bites down playfully on his lower lip. “I’m paraphrasing, honey.”

You nod gently in understanding. “Okay. Well, why the change of heart?” you ask him, as he circles you majestically over the floor.

His brow furrows again, and he runs the pad of his thumb delicately along your jawline. “No change. Just realised. I can replace most of the people in my life with robots. But I can’t replace you.” He thinks for a moment. “I need you to know you’re important to me. That I want this. Days like this with you.”

The intensity of him destabilises you, and so you reach for humour as a defence. You throw your eyes around the room at the flowers and the decorations and the whole cheesy spectacle. “You want all of this? I’ll remember to play you some Celine Dion when we get home then.” Your tone is obviously teasing, and you expect him to balk at the notion of any of this. Including, and especially, the notion of marriage.

But, if there’s anything Nathan can be described as -your dad’s unkind descriptors aside- it’s unpredictable. Surprising.

“Honey, we won’t get married like this, give me a fuckin’ break.”

Your heart is beating pretty fast all of a sudden. A tentative happiness is blooming within your chest. Did he just hint at what you think he did?

“How would we do it?” you venture, biting down on your lip to supress the widest smile of your life. “Robot officials?”

“Up on the glacier, maybe. The fucking... bare minimum by the way of guests -if you’re insisting on anyone at all beyond the robot officials, that is. I’ll allow 3 people tops.”

You draw a lopsided flash of teeth from him as you laugh warmly.

“Generous of you,” you say, still smiling, looping your arms around his neck, and playing fondly with the buzzed hair at the nape of his neck.

“You could wear snow boots,” he continues, “and then I could do you up against a tree.” He thinks a moment more. “Would be romantic. In the moonlight, maybe.”

You really can’t help but smile now. Nathan always is a little bit contrary. A little bit different. And he may not be the ideal wedding guest, but he’s your ideal plus one.

“Nathan Bateman,” you say in disbelief, as he dips his lips closer towards yours. “You do have emotions, after all.”

Tears fill your eyes again like jewels- happy tears this time though.

“Careful, honey. I’ve told you- if you get papped crying, BlueBook tanks. Then there’ll be nothing left for you by the time of the divorce.”

You throw him a gentle faux scowl, dismissing his comment.

Happily, you let your scowl fade into a soft, cautious smile. “Nathan. You want this? Really? Us, I mean?” 

“Like I said,” he admits softly. “Can’t replace everyone with robots. Definitely can’t replace you. So, if I have to talk to a bunch of losers every now and again for you...” he nods with conviction. “I’m in.” 

You bat his chest with your palm.

“Nathan!” you scold, earning another lopsided flash of teeth from him, but there’s no true malice behind it. Unless...

Unless you can think of a way you’d like him to make it up to you.

“Ah, shit. Ok, I messed up again,” he confesses, sucking air between his teeth. “Probably shouldn’t have called your family losers. But, honey,” he purrs, and you know that familiar lust-infused tone all too well. You note that his hands have gradually been wandering further and further down your back too - holding you more tightly. “Did I fix it enough for you to let me fix the rest with my lips?”

“Yes,” you nod, your voice suddenly breathy. 

He dips his lips towards yours, tasting you as if he can’t resist you. Kissing you as if no-one is watching. But it’s not hungry, like usual. It’s not overty sexual. It’s adoring. He kisses you and you feel revered. He kisses you in a way that would make anyone looking think the two of you belong together. That each of you is the perfect plus one to the other.

You melt into his kiss, and when you pull away there is a gentle sparkle in his eyes too. Not like starlight; no. His emotions are hidden further in the depths of him. More subtle. More subdued. But still equally dazzling. Something like the wash of moonlight upon deep waters.

When you look at him, hungry, he cocks a single eyebrow at you.

There’s the Nathan you know and love. There’s that wicked glint in his eyes, returning yours.

“Holy shit. Did I fix it enough for you to let me take you outside and finger you in the orchard?” he asks, voice deep and wonderfully dirty.

“We’ll see,” you say, ticking-up an eyebrow in turn, and you’re surprised when his expression grows serious again, momentarily.

“Just so you know. It’s the flowers and the frills and the fucking pretentious shmaltz I don’t like. But, if you wanted it, I’d do it for you.”

“Really?” you say, eyes somehow still shining.

“If it’s really that fucking important to you, then yeah.” He takes a deep breath, as if his next words will take effort. “The idea of being with you forever is... terrifyingly okay, actually,” he says, and although the words were hard to say, Nathan only ever says what he’s thinking. That’s one of the things you love about him.

You love him as he is, and you wouldn’t want him to be someone he’s not.

You scrunch your nose up in dismissal, suddenly knowing exactly what you want. “Nah.”

“Nah?”

“Your way sounds perfect for me, Bateman. Mountain wedding and a bang against a tree?” you smile. “Don’t you know I’m just a horny misanthrope too?

He smiles right back at you, and it’s loving as much as it is devilish. “That’s why we’re perfect for each other, I guess.”

“Now, come on,” you giggle deviously, darkly, leading him by the hand. “Let’s ditch these losers and you can fingerbang me in the orchard” 

Nathan follows you gladly, and his eyes definitely follow your ass in that dress.

He might not be everyone’s favourite wedding guest, but right now, you could care less. He is your favourite, and that’s all that matters.

What’s more, the idea of being with him forever? With Nathan Bateman? Well, it is... terrifyingly okay, actually.

[knifeonmars]

“I let them in and they broke me” The Worldview of Batman: Last Knight on Earth

Batman: Last Knight on Earth, from DC Comics' "mature readers" imprint Black Label, is supposedly the final word on Batman from the team of writer Scott Snyder and artist Greg Capullo, who have worked together on the character in some capacity since 2011's New 52 relaunch. This claim to finality isn't entirely convincing given that Snyder and Capullo's current Death Metal event series is also about a Batman and his friends fighting a bunch of evil Batmen, but for the sake of this examination, I take Last Knight on Earth at its word. As an experience, as a comic, Last Knight on Earth (hereafter LKoE) is really good. Snyder and Capullo are both heavily invested in the character and they're firing on all cylinders here, throwing out off the wall ideas which would never fly in the mainstream DC Universe and giving us lovingly rendered, absolutely beautiful pages of devastation and violence. It's a feast and a thrill ride, but it's also not going to be for everyone because it is deeply, deeply misanthropic in its politics. LKoE, more than anything else, is about disappointment in humanity, but where it goes with that disappointment is fundamentally conservative and nostalgic.

To understand this, it's important to know that Snyder's take on Batman has always been grounded in post-9/11, post-War on Terror urban fears. Batman had long been rooted in the urban fears of the 1980's; crime run amok, overwhelmed and inadequate police, etc, thanks to the influence of Frank Miller, a man who was famously mugged multiple times after moving to New York City and wasn't shy about reflecting that feeling of helplessness and anger in his work. Snyder's Batman, by contrast, was not a terrifying spirit of vengeance, but a shining beacon, a folk hero and aspirational figure, Snyder's Batman is heavily informed by the Obama era. LKoE is about this Obama era optimism, naivete if you like, crashing against the reality of the 2016 election of Donald Trump. It's not subtle in its allegory; the apocalypse of LKoE is set off by Lex Luthor and Superman having a debate about good versus evil and the people of Earth democratically "voting" in favor of evil, then rising up and destroying the world. They even come into the halls of power, or rather JLA HQ, the Hall of Justice, and destroy the very people who tried to protect them. The horror at the heart of the book isn't Trump, it's the idea that people are horrible, stupid, and selfish.

It's unrepentant in this misanthropy, but also noncommittal. For a book about how bad ordinary people can be, there are shockingly few of them in this book. There's no Carrie Kelly, no Harper Row (Snyder's own creation, who even he has evidently forgotten about) in this book, no one to push back against the idea that people in general are bad. There is no mention, no glimpse of those who didn't want this, who "voted" for goodness, the election condemns them all, renders humanity as a whole into a monolith of ravenous, mindless evil. The closest we get to confronting this monolith is the Slingers, ordinary humans who tried to use Green Lantern rings, and because they lacked the will to control them properly, have become giant, mindless, evil, energy babies. It's an evocative and amusing image, but the politics of it are distasteful: "This is you." says LKoE, a big baby, totally unprepared for a power which should only be placed in the hands of the chosen elite. One (1) single ordinary person gets to speak in this book; a toe-headed little boy who talks to Batman for just over a page, little more than a cardboard cutout, that's it. For a book that's about humanity's evil, LKoE is completely unwilling to look that evil in the eye.

The final enemy that Batman must confront isn't a Trump analog, it's not even humanity's selfishness as a whole, it's Omega, and who is Omega? Batman, but broken. Omega is the original Bruce Wayne, tortured and mutilated in the aftermath of the "election" as humanity descended into an orgy of self-destruction and violence, now having pieced himself back together as a totalitarian, mind-controlling villain who wants to protect humanity from itself. He could, charitably, read as the rise of fascism in light of chaos, the fear of the guy who comes after Trump, the cleaner, more articulate monster who can really get things done (though such a fear already seems outdated given Trump's efficacy in perpetrating horrors),  but I think that misses that mark. Omega is Batman as a blackpilled doomer, someone who has looked into the face of what humanity is capable of and given form to his misanthropy. Our Batman, the hero of the story, is a clone of this fallen Batman, with matching memories that stop just short of the "election" and his fall from grace. He's the same guy in every way that matters, the only difference is that he was never traumatized, he never really reckoned with what humanity was capable of: he was never a victim. Our Batman is a hero because of his ignorance, because he's been allowed to forget, and in doing so his underlying assumptions about the world have never been challenged. LKoE is a book in which even the Joker can earn redemption and a place in the extended Bat-family, but Omega has to die by the hand of our shiny, unblemished Batman so that the future can live. And what is that future? It's more of the same.

LKoE ends with an almost sickly sweet scene that looks a lot like hope: the heroes all hug each other and strike a group pose looking hopefully at nothing in particular, Batman holds a baby version of Superman and resolves to raise him and bring hope back into the world, but none of it really means anything. It's more of the same, the same people doing the same things, led by a man whose defining virtue is his ignorance of the past, a group of insular elites watching over a people they both hate and fear, doing nothing to make people better beyond hoping, vaguely, that they won't make the same mistakes again. There is no passing of the torch, no new Batman for a new era, it is pointedly, specifically, the same old Batman. LKoE is a comic that's ultimately about staying the course, doing the same thing despite knowing that it means nothing, acknowledging a fundamental contempt for the unwashed masses but not actually doing anything about it because hey, it's not like you got hurt. The bad guy is the one who won't let go of the past, who points at what people are capable of and demands change, and he can't be allowed to exist if we're to get back to doing things the old-fashioned way. 

Last Knight on Earth is motivated by the birth of the Trump era, and arrives as it nears a potential finish, but it doesn't point towards anything new, it just wants to go back to the way things were, even in the face of an unshakable hatred of people and a certainty that they are not to be trusted, that they need their betters to guide them. I don't want to be so thuddingly simplistic as to label what these means politically, but laid out like this it's clear. The ideology of Snyder and Capullo's Batman is born of the Obama era, warts and all, and cannot survive the Trump era, but the solution Last Knight on Earth offers is not to change and evolve once more, but to forget, to fall back. That doesn't work, it can't work, whether it's a comic book or the real world, history only ever goes one way.

[daggerzine]

Celebrity Mixtape Party #1 with Steve Michener (Volcano Suns, Dumptruck, Big Dipper) Part 1

Steve (far left with Big Dipper) 

Mixtapes. They're back! Or maybe they never went away? What happens when you make a mixtape for someone who MAKES music? And then they talk about that mixtape? Well, dear reader, let's find out in..

Okay!  First song. Side A. So I'll give my impressions and then we can talk about the song. Okay? Then the reveal, when appropriate.

Sexy

Thanks for this tape, Matthew, I've really been enjoying it.  However, I gotta say the first song is my least favorite.

What is it pray tell

I don't know but I usually love that style of song.  Very Love/Byrds-y but there was something cloying about that hook of 'Let's Get Together'

Oh yes. Justin Trouble.

Can't tell if it's authentic 60's pop or revival

Early '80s. He was friends with Johnny Thunders.New York City area guy

Never heard of him but I'm not inspired to search him up. Too many words.

Aw man he's just riffing

Anything you wanna say in his defense?

I mean I could. I think that song and the whole record is genius. To me it's the very essence of rock and roll.

Okay, maybe that's just one song that I wouldn't like. I'll check it out. I know you love your 60s stuff  but to me it's just too twee. But if you were using this as a "courtship tape", the relationship is over.

Since we can't "get together" on that song?

Courtship tape. I think they were called love mixes back in the day my friend.

I'm older than you. We used to bring them and play them in the parlor. So this second song is right up my Alley. Great guitar sound, great drummer.  I love that it's poppy but it takes a minor key/dissonant turn when he sings the tagline 'Solid Gold'. Kind of a Fall vibe to that hook.

So what is that second song?

Boston band....Real Kids...1974 demo...EARLY REAL KIDS

I knew you'd get a Real Kids song on there but that is very 'Unreal' real kids.  Sounds like they were way ahead of their time

Yeah. That song is unhinged. Nothing twee about it.

Amazing band.  I would have maybe guessed that but that chorus is so left field.  If I knew about that song back then, I would have had the band cover it. Real Kids sounding like the Fall. They should have been as big as the Ramones.  Worse drug and ego problems I guess.

To me it sounds like The Dolls. A little bit of Glam in there.

I saw them a few times at the Rat.  Always a reliable live band. I hear the 60's thing in there but that turnaround into the chorus is at least 5 years ahead of its time. I need to hear more of those demos.

It's on vinyl.

Next song- One thing that I know about you is that you love your 60s stuff.  This sounds like an authentic acid rock band. Roky?

I don't have the tracklist

Ah, okay.  It's by Girl Trouble-"Storm Warning'. Don't know them but I love the song.

The pride of Bellingham

Kind of like the Seeds meet Nick Cave. What year?

1993 on Empty

Love the sax and guitar interplay at the end.  Wow. I would have placed that in 1965

Yeah except for the production. I think he's one of the Great rock and roll vocalists of the '90s

Yeah, great singer.  Are they still around or mutate into something else?

Kurt Kendall. No, I don't think they really play around much anymore. There was a reunion show not too long ago but I missed it.

Great stuff, I'll check it out. Next song? Okay, this one I knew from the first note--the great NRBQ. The greatest rock and roll band ever, at least in this incarnation.

Green Lights?

Yes.

I saw them around this time with the WW Horns, opening for Thorogood.

Another great vocalist

I didn't appreciate them back then cuz I was too into the alternative scene (tho still loved GT) but when I saw them in the 80's I was amazed.

This is a band that should have played the bar band in every '80s movie ever made

Exactly.  they were my template for 'a band'

That's Joey singing that one? favorite bass player ever, favorite drummer ever.

I'm not entirely sure what that guitar is in the solo. Sounds almost like a pedal steel or something.

Big Al could make anything sound like anything.  Genius band. Shoulda been huge.

The YouTube comments say Joey.

Yeah, Joey wrote the hits. Like most bass players.

Lol. The album is called nrbq at Yankee stadium and it's funny because the picture shows an empty Yankee stadium with them far away in the bleachers...a play on words...clever

I see.

I'll explain humor to you another time.

Make me a 'humor' mixtape

Okay next song

The 5th song on side A is called Buried Alive.  A 3 chord slab of brilliance.  Sounds like another Boston Band.  More Real Kids?

Hmmm

Should I peek?

It could be Avenged Sevenfold. Yes peek.

Oh no, it's the Nervous Eaters!  Born to Die.  I thought he was singing Buried Alive.

Ahhh!!

I knew it was Boston, can't believe I missed the Eaters.  Loved that band.

Another Boston band you didn't ID! You are 0 for 2

I wrote down it was "the Lyres without keyboards" so I get half credit.

Okay so one of the cool things about this band is it had one of the Paley Brothers. Who never did anything this "heavy" outside of this band?

I had their singles and saw them live a few times.  They were great. Just Head is a classic.

The major label debut was a bit of a disaster:  slick production, terrible cover art. I swore that I'd never let that happen to any band that I was in.

This song for some reason reminds me of Judas Priest.

I thought Saints at first but Priest would work

Next song?

Ok

This is one that I will probably miss too. Sounds VERY familiar and my first guess is Rockpile/Brinsley Schwarz.  "I'll have another drink and then I tried to crawl out the door.."

"I never did know a thing about it." It's got that Nick Lowe/Dave Edmunds vibe.

Take a peek

Status Quo-Lies

Ah yes

Wow, I don't think of SQ sounding like this. This is pub rock, I thought they were harder

Very boogie

Don't you get the Rockpile thing tho?

Oh absolutely

Great song.  I'd cover this. Was it a hit?

That status quo song is from 1980. I think so. They did it on Top of the Pops

Good. I'd be depressed if a song that great didn't get an audience.

Agreed

Next?

Yes

I also don't know this and I'm not sure what the hook is but it sounds like what I imagine the Muffs sound like. Be my baby.?  Sneering female vocals, 3 chords, loud guitars.

Fastbacks - Read my Letters

Yeah, another band I completely missed out on.  From the PNW?

Seattle

I've seen them quite a few times and they were always amazing. Big fan.

I'm sorry I missed them live. I don't care much for this song but I'll bet it sounded good in a sweaty club.

Ok

Did you like the Muffs?

Not really. I mean I respect them a lot but they never resonated with me. I think Kurt Bloch is a great lyricist. And I love that he didn't sing his own lyrics.

Wait, that was a guy singing?

No. The guitar player Kurt wrote the lyrics for most of their songs.

Got it.  So he left them to join YFF?

He did both simultaneously. Kim Warnick is the singer and bass player.

Too talented.

Definitely.

I saw the Fellows quite a few times also.

They opened for us in Seattle in 1990. I loved them but, as an east coaster, had never seen them.

Also amazing one of my favorites. During that time that both the Fastbacks and the Young Fresh Fellows were active it made me envy Seattle because Portland didn't have bands like those bands.

This is a different convo, but Seattle is a much more rockin town than Portland.

Full disclosure in the '90s I was not a fan of Portland's music scene. But I did like Hazel.

They were so cute!

Alright, let's not get distracted!   Next song I recognized easily , though I may not have a few years ago.  This is Sparks - Something For The Girl Who Has Everything. Brilliant band but one that I missed out on until recently

You know I never introduced you at the beginning of all this. Dear readers, I am discussing a mixtape with our esteemed guest Steve Michener from Skid Row.

Skid Row UK, legally. Not to be confused with those dorks from Hollyweird. Michael Cudahy was my roommate back in the day and he was way into them. I could never get past the vocals.Recently though, I have come to appreciate them and now I am a big fan.

I love the vocals. It's its own thing. Who is this Michael you speak of?

Michael was in Christmas at the time and then started Combustible Edison.  Now he does movie soundtracks.

Have you ever seen the video of Ron Mael singing karaoke to a Sparks song?

No, I'll google it.

Next song?

Ok

Well, I didn't recognize the song itself but it's hard to miss the unique guitar sound of The Wedding Present-The Boy Can Wait

Fastest wrist in the west

Trademark double strum. They're one of those bands that I just love the sound of but never bought any records.

That's a Peel session by the way.

They were around last year but I failed to attend.

I like the lyrics. They're clever. Kind of misanthropic but not in a Morrissey way. More humorous.

I'm not a lyric guy but I do love a good Morrisey couplet

The dude could pen a tune

Stephen I mean

Moz

The Moz

Himself.

He should pull a Prince and just change his name to Himself

Next song is one that you would never get past me, tho I'm 0-2 with Boston bands before this.  Heading into a Boston binge here.

Ok. Just another band out of Boston

I was the world's biggest Peter Dayton fan for years.  I moved to Boston the week that LaPeste broke up so I never got to see them.  So I made up for that by seeing every PD gig for years. 'She's a Girl' by LaPeste, probably one of the best bands out of Boston ever.

I like how evil La Peste sound. They sound like they carried shivs.

It means "the pest"

Perfect

"la" is "the" in french

Waow

I don't know if you knew that. Anyway, this must have been an Ocasek demo?  Sounds like they were trying to go pop. I had a live tape of them from the rock and roll rumble in 1979 that I wore out. Just a great pop punk band. Next song is also LaPeste- Die in My Sleep.Ric got involved with them later in their career and produced some demos.  Or maybe it was Greg Hawkes.  But Ocasek worked with him solo for a few years.  Dayton's EP, which came out the same time as Panorama by the Cars. It's a fun record.Better off Dead is an amazing single.

I'll check out solo Dayton.

Jim Janota on bass. I think he was in some of those early boston punk bands

But Ric was the producer guy then . Alan Vega etc

Yeah, Ocasek was cool.  He had Dayton's band open for The Cars at the Boston Garden.  Big supporter of smaller bands.

Next two songs had me stumped. I just wrote 'Sex Pistols'.

I would never put a sex pistols song on anything ever. But I do love a lot of things that Cook and Jones were on later

This just has a Pistols energy and sneer. Hey Hey! Hey Hey!

Hmm

3 chords, English. Fall-like but harder.

Not ringing any bells

Ha! I looked at the list--Naked Raygun-Roller Queen.

Yes

"trying" to be british

Nooo

I tuned this band out early.  Not my cup of tea.

I love the Raygun. Midwest thing

Just like Soul Asylum.  I was (and remain) a judgemental asshole when it comes to music.

Hard. Arty. Humorous.

I lump them together.  Prejudice.  But this is why I like the idea of listening to the tape blind.

Throb Throb is fantastic

It can blow up my preconceived notions  or reinforce them. I know they were hugely popular in the scene and it's probably my loss that I didn't explore their stuff. I was probably reacting negatively to the Big Black thing.  Lots of competition and jealousy-fuelled listening bias.

Eh no biggy. I never really liked Big Black. To me they were great in theory but not in practice.

I prefer Shellac

Great band

But i think BD covered 'Bazooka Joe'. Not my idea.

There was another Chicago band from that time that I like a lot called Breaking Circus.

Yes, I liked Breaking Circus.  We played with them.

Yay

Next song. 60s sounding psychedelia

Ok

Didn't recognize it, but liked it. reverby guitar,

Hmm

La Luz- I Want to Be Alone. Cool sound.  What's their story?

Ah. Seattle. Then moved to LA. 4 women. On Hardly Art (label). Started in 2012. They have three lps. Saw them at The Aladdin.

Short but sweet. I'll check them out.

Very very good band

I like good bands

No bad songs. They were VERY GOOD live. Jealous of the drummer's speed and dexterity. They play with a lot of feeling.

If we ever get to see live music again, I'll check them out.

You need to.

Next song is a classic Boston number called 'No Place Like Home' by The Neighborhoods. Such a great power pop song. B-side to Prettiest Girl, which was probably the biggest indie single of the time in Boston.  That and Academy Fight Song. Both on Ace of Hearts records

Oh really? Nice that I got airplay in Boston. I mean it. I didn't get any airplay in Boston

Yes, it was huge! (sorry about your lack of airplay)  top song on WBCN, the local rock station. They should have been huge-they had it all.  Cute guys, great songs, amazing live show. I woulda bet on them

Despite looking like a reggae album I've read good reviews with their first LP. The thing with a lot of these bands is they're from a time when there were regional scenes period and if they didn't make the jump to Major label then a lot of what they were about might have been lost on people outside of their scene

Honestly, I don't remember that LP at all.  Maybe I had dropped them and moved onto hipper stuff. They were kind of a high school crush for me. They got progressively more hard rock as time went on. Yes, probably a common theme with local bands. Some focused on getting a 'deal' and making it big.  Thank god for labels like Homestead, who gave smaller bands a chance to make mistakes and grow

If you had any anecdotes about any of these guys share away.

Anecdotes? I do

'dote away

Dave and Lee worked at Harrington's Liquor, the biggest booze shop in Allston and were always in there when I went to buy cheap vodka. Then, one day, they were fired. Word was that they tried to lift some expensive champagne from the shop to celebrate a record release party or something.  They were both dating members of Salem 66 at the time and Dave married Judy.  They were very nice guys.

Lee?

Lee Harrington, Beth's brother was their bassist in the late 80's. Beth Harrington was in Jonathan's band.

That's a good anecdote.

Jonathan?

Richman

Oh I thought I recognized her voice from Jonathan Richmond records. She was a backup singer. She had kind of a classically trained sounding voice

Yes, her and Ellie Marshall. Beth married my old roommate, whose girlfriend when I knew him, left him for Steve Forbert.

Ellie Marshall was related to who?

Something related to Paley Bros. It'll come to me.  Barry Marshall.

The next song is the Office Supply song. Swivel Chair. I don't recognize the song but it's gotta be something like Fountains of Wayne or Weezer.

Nothing Painted Blue

Oops. Hope they aren't insulted!  I kinda knew of NPB but obviously didn't get into their stuff.  Sounds like a certain pop band from Boston in the late 80s. Where were they from?

Franklin Bruno. Great songwriter in my opinion. Great band. LA

Oh, I know Franklin.  Of course.  I confuse them with that band from Boise

Franklin bears a slight passing resemblance to Bill? Cool that you know Franklin.

Well, on FB at least.  Very nice guy.  He's probably gonna unfriend me if he reads this.

I can edit it out. Celebrity mixtapes is about bringing people together, not about fighting.

No, it's fine.  It's part of the process. I'll take my lumps.

Ok

I just thought it was a little bit of a novelty song.

I just think it's adorably nebbishy

Not that we didn't veer close to that sometimes. It's a risk when you are trying to write songs that have humor in them.

Singing about office supplies. One of my favorite things about Big Dipper is you guys never crossed over into parody even though you were slyly funny.

Yeah, it def sounds like something I would write. I was an office supply nerd.

Maybe I sensed that. Dilbert Rock

Thanks. It's a fine line between clever and stupid, as the Tap says. Anyway, super catchy but maybe a little too clever for me.

NEXT!

Next song has to be Scrawl. Apple of his Eye.

Nope

Very Gang of Four with female vocals.

I did like Scrawl back in the day though. Bratmobile-Queenie.

Ah, well they should write a check to Sue and Marcy. Sounds like early Scrawl. Catchy song but a little derivative to my ears.

Yeah Scrawl predates the Bratmobile.By a few years.

You could steal from worse.

True

Scrawl were an amazing band.

Pride of Columbus

Really had the goods live and on record.

Never saw them live unfortunately.I always thought they were on Homestead but it turns out no.

You had your Homestead goggles on.

"I like everything that comes out on Homestead..."

Well that was me back then too

Last song on side A.  Permanent Wave.  No idea who it is, a short, catchy, new wave song.  Mo-dettes?

I do like the Mo-Dettes but no.

Oh Ok. From Athens

Ah!  i had their single, was this on it?

Michael Stipe's sister

Sister of Stipe

Matthew Sweet was in the band for a minute too, later on.

I bought it, I think, cuz I thought I could resell it when rem got famous. Retirement investment

I think the single and the lp are both amazing

Kind of twee, to revisit a theme

The lp is not as twee

That song sounds a little thin

I like the production. it sounds live.

I see that. Okay, I've gotta run.  This was fun.

Ok. Thanks for doing it.

https://www.mixcloud.com/matthewkenneth9/steve-michener-mix-pt-1/?fbclid=IwAR2hhMS8KXo51QjlpJ__ANfdmKY3Ux7vRyIqHHOxGfY_UK4H6tz6vIXyaxE

[human-enthusiast]

Antagonist: Buggy (East Blue - And Before This Time Frame)

At first, I was still on and off about my decision on whether or not I would make an analysis on Buggy at all. My analysis pages aren’t necessarily about the villains of One Piece in general, but more towards humanitarian or misanthropic topics reflected in their world from ours. In the first few appearances, I thought I had nothing to go off from, at least in context of World Issues. But I started writing out his characteristics and anything known about his past that could reflect on it, and then I started writing on something to reflect later after writing out other analogies with other villains and their world.

Characteristics: 

Stereotypical behavior of a pirate

Narcissism: Blames others for his mistakes (Shanks)

Treats a majority of his     underlings as replaceable/worthless

Alignment: Chaotic Evil/Neutral Evil

Worthy Notes

He was one of the recognizable characters who witnessed Roger’s execution up front.

Before this, he knew him personally and grew close with his captain.

To me, he and Shanks are friends/crewmates that had similar circumstances but different outcomes - two sides of the same coin (Important Distinction).

Buggy is a character that I both dislike and love for various reasons. If there was a person, who had a striking resemblance to him (in both looks and especially personality), there is a 100% chance I would not get along well with him. The arrogance, laugh, and overall characteristics of a narcissist that gets his ass handed to him in nearly every encounter is annoying to the point of wanting to punch him personally.

However, he also handles many of his problems and the crazy reality that is their world with great comic relief like a majority of the characters. He himself has great one-liners and funny encounters that make him a great antagonist towards Luffy and an overall character of One Piece.

He’s one of the few designated antagonists of the East Blue Arc that popped up later, not only in the same arc, but in other arcs afterwards. Alvida does as well but she isn’t treated very much like an antagonist after Loguetown. More mild and laid back as Buggy’s vice captain, without straying from her original personality.

The thing about him from the beginning is how iconic of a character he is, mixed with some stereotypical personality traits as the main character’s villain. With the listed traits above, he actually isn’t the most original kind of villain under a broad definition.

I use the moral alignment chart for these analysis and/or characters because it’s one of the easiest ways to place and understand the foundation about them. For Buggy, he could go either way for being neutral or chaotic in the evil row. He does things for his own gain. But he also does evil acts because he is under the notion that he can with no other reason. Many of the East Blue antagonists are essentially like this.

Before knowing anything about Buggy later on, and even after, I would put him in the same boat as Krieg and Arlong. These are very chaotic pirates who also display typical pirate personas. Greedy, foul playing, captains without any remorse or care for others (although Arlong, towards fishmen and crew mates, tends to be an exception). They appear to not have an underlining motivation to be the way they are. Just regular, run-of-the-mill pirates.

But taking in consideration his past affiliations on being a cabin boy to Gol D. Roger, his attitude, in tune with Arlong’s, makes a lot of sense. 

The start of the Pirate Era sparked a grand affiliation to the massive sweep of pirate crews to take to the seas. A historically popular phenomenon done in a way that no other sailor accomplished the way Roger did: conquer the Grand Line. When an ever-changing event like this occurs, you have a mix of on-lookers who are changed by this. Characters like Luffy are filled with adrenaline. A need to seek adventure, making him the perfect predecessor for Roger’s Legacy, but in a way where he can call it his own.

Then there are characters like stereotypical, unnamed pirate crews, a majority of which mainly focus on the prospect of Roger’s treasure One Piece. They physically have nothing to tie them down, so they feel it necessary to pursue that challenge. This sparks greed or a search for infamy, something that actually connects to Ace’s motivation the most, but he has a more dynamic change that alters his motivations. Compared to others, this change is due to an instance where he is showed an alternate approach on life and dreams, a somewhat more healthy version. But when this alternate approach isn’t introduced to others, they are bound to the same mindset, installing more harm along the way. 

The known reactions are like two sides of the same coin. They’re broad chances of what someone will turn out in response to this freedom on treasure hunting and adventure seeking. And the two characters that are on those sides are Shanks and Buggy.

Personally, I find this to be an excellent coincidence. Now whether Oda intended for there opposing characters to mean anything significant is up for debate. But my interpretation proceeds them as the differing approaches when they (1) lose something significant in their life and (2) in retaliation against the unfair advantages life threw at them.

Buggy takes on the evil, greedy and infamy route in response to Roger’s execution.

As selfish as he is, Buggy did care very much for his past Captain. Most likely as a father figure of sorts considering he was rather young when he first joined as a cabin boy. He was able to make bonds with the crew mates, showing the more humanistic side of him.

In the events of Roger’s untimely sickness and later execution, I say it created an unfathomable emotional downfall on Buggy. In love and loss, it can have a negative influence on someone. He doesn’t seem to stray away from a greedy persona even with the Roger pirates. However, they acted as a sort of buffer, suppressing that intent need enough where it tends to affect only him.

With instances like Orange Town in Episode 5-8, his greed has an outward impact on the people and environment. I doubt he had any monetary reasoning for docking in the small town. There could have definitely been some looting, but that probably wasn’t their main purpose. It seems more along the lines of a power move.

Throughout his stay, he ultimately uses his Buggy Balls to obliterate different sections of the town, describing it as “his idea of fun.” Now whether because he lacked the resource or motivation, he never seemed to be this destructive as a younger cabin boy. He was still capable of violence and only doing so when needed.

He offers insight about the potential in taking on negative behaviors against the world, in combination of this obtainable freedom. He takes it with a motivation in the form of retribution.

Now how does Shanks play into this?

I said before that these two are like the sides of the same coin. And this is how far it goes:

They, literally and figuratively, were on the same boat. That being the Oro Jackson’s crew and witnessing first hand Roger’s execution.

Unlike Buggy, however, Shanks wasn’t affected in a downward spiral of vengeance. Where Buggy took on the active persona of a vindictive route, he took to Roger’s will. The concept of inherited will within One Piece is a powerful notion. Especially with how it plays into the influence of a character and the world around them.

Roger’s will is directed more towards the importance of adventure and unbridled freedom. Doing something for yourself and “destroying” the world in a round-about way.

He is the opposite of Buggy by choosing the path of piracy in leniency. He isn’t necessarily upright and morally good in all regards. Because I’m certain he could have done bad things. But his outlooks on life make him move forward from the past.

Meanwhile, Buggy is situated into his past persona, and possibly due to the loss of his captain, by striving to be the King of the Pirates. Buggy has a connection to it that many others wouldn’t have known about until around Sabaody and Marineford. This need with the title is one of the defining elements of being greedy to an unexpected turn in his life.

This plays in well with his narcistic attitude in blaming others for mistakes he’s made in the past. Specifically where he blames Shanks for “making” him accidently eat his devil fruit. While he does find a use in his powers, he remains to be bitter about it. A reaction like this shows a character that ties himself with things he wish were different, believing that acting on them in the future will somehow change it. And about the only way he finds some use in it is fulfilling his desire to be at the top. A familiar form that ties him to Roger in the past.

Of course, I’m not implying that Roger’s death sparked his greed, because it is quite obvious he was always like that. No, it’s more of he represents the expected type who find satisfaction in titles. The expected results of Roger’s last words that the world paints into perspective. Buggy’s the negative aftermath that people expect when the world changes.

Because in simplistic sense, change begets destruction.

Change creates numerous responses that guide people, and it can be interpreted in broad groups. The results of these events divide people and their motivations, creating a diverse but also destructive world within One Piece.

~~~~~~~~

[harry-leroy]

Endeavour VII just finished here in the U.S. last night and I’m !!! - I’ve got some thoughts + reactions from when I was watching these past few weeks. I’m just happy to finally be up to speed with the rest of the Endeavour crew (I can finally take the Endeavour VII tags off of my blacklist hehehe - I was trying to avoid spoilers). Overall, a very nice series! 

Okay so my ranking of these episodes would have to be Zenana as my favorite, Oracle in the middle, and Raga on the bottom. I think this has to do more with the overall arc of s7 rather than individual things in the episodes themselves. 

I was able to guess most things about the arc of s7 in advance. The only thing I didn’t really see coming was the whole thing with Sturgis (which was so yikes!!! ahhhh). I had pinned the towpath killings on Ludo + Violetta. Ludo seemed to know too many things about it from the first episode and was that Violetta with the sword at the end of Oracle? 

Ludo and Morse were FLIRTING idk what could be said to refute it like... ‘you can have it’ (my incredibly rare Callas Butterfly recording) - I DIED. In a perfect world, the whole thing has to be an ot3. (*Rewrites the scene in Zenana so Violetta takes both of their hands at that dining table, like GOD*). 

I thought the culprit in Oracle was Blish’s wife, rather than Blish himself. I was too focused on the Molly Andrews case and the whole thing being a robbery where the motive was money (when it actually turned out to be something quite different entirely). But I also told my dad at the end of Oracle that ‘Blish didn’t kill Molly Andrews’. He had more of his hopes on pinning Violetta as the towpath killer, while I had my bets on Ludo. (Again, we were both kinda wrong - although we’ve yet to talk about Zenana (because we live in two different states now because I’m back at school). I guess Ludo was slightly more guilty in the end than Violetta, but still... (Additionally, Morse said at the end of Oracle that “sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you” aka Ludo and Violetta). 

The boys were FIGHTING this series like ahhh! The way Morse handles snark with Thursday is how I snark with people who are older than me on occasion - which either means that I have a very similar personality to Morse or Morse has the personality of a surly 20 year old (it’s probably both and I think that’s honestly iconic of us). Especially in Zenana, when Morse was like “I’m leaving. It’s about time anyway.” like sis, same. 

MAX DEBRYN A HERO FOR OUR TIME AND ALL TIME - and when Morse said “Max, I’m sorry” in Zenana I screamed. 

JIM STRANGE A HERO FOR OUR TIME AND ALL TIME - I was not expecting him to be impaled with a cane but here we are. At least he’s going to be okay *relieved sigh*. Also the way that Morse and Strange bonded at the end was *chef’s kiss* like Morse is finally relying on friends... 

I guessed the killer in Raga as soon as he said “I’m the first one in every morning and the last to leave” like fifteen minutes into the episode, but I don’t think I was overly confident about it. Raga threw a lot of information our way and some of it clouded my judgement. Also I didn’t want him to be the killer! I think that’s where some of my conflicting feelings came in about it. I wanted it to be that awful politician... hmm... (he did get slapped at the end, which is at least something). 

You can tell that Raga distracted me because I can’t remember ANYONE’s names from that episode... 

Also shout out to Jim Strange and his apron *chef’s kiss* 

Poor Bright... I even saw it coming too... not in that way though. When he and his wife were having that conversation about coming home and spending time together after Bright got back home from work, I was like... she’s gonna die. And she did! Because of Ludo! Ahhhhhhh 

Dorothea Frazil A QUEEN 

“Misanthrope” - a fitting word for you and that crossword in Zenana, Morse. 

All of those girls storming the towpath in Zenana like YESSSS - a mood. 

Sturgis may have done some awful things, but him saying essentially ‘fuck the police’ in Zenana was a mood :) 

Finally, the finale in Venice and the note Morse wrote to Joan/Thursday, like all of that was *chef’s kiss*. I just love Morse and his little found family so much. Also getting dressed up for an opera just so you can confront your lover for murder and other crimes behind the box curtains... like... the glamour. 

Anyway, my lunch hour is up so that’s all I’ve got for now. Great season! I’m going to unblock the s7 tag now so I can see and like all of your lovely s7 posts! :) 

[loveaurapearl]

Tiger Misanthropic (Part 1)

(Fanfic I made, about my fan fusion of Jasper and Steven. Takes place after Prickly Pair and has reference to self-harm and mental breakdowns, mostly in part two. Here’s a link to part two by the way. Link: https://loveaurapearl.tumblr.com/post/190464683545/tiger-misanthropic-part-2 )

Steven looked at the outside of his house, Bismuth, Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst were helping rebuild the building after Cactus Steven had runaway. He sadly smiled as Bismuth walked up to him. “Thanks for helping us rebuild my house, Bismuth. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He said with a little bit of shame. Bismuth laughed. “It’s alright, Steven. It’s no problem. Besides, after finishing up on the construction of little homeworld, I was hoping for another big job.” She said with gusto. Steven laughed awkwardly and looked to the side. Bismuth noticed this and put her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay? The OG gems told me about the cactus creature and how it mimicked you. If there’s anything you want to talk about, I’m always up to the task if you don’t want to tell the others.” Bismuth offered. Steven looked at her and softly smiled. “Thanks for the offer. But… I’ll be fine. I just… need some space.” He said as he tried to back off telling anyone. Bismuth folded her arms. “Steven, you know better than anyone that bottling your emotions isn’t healthy. You NEED to talk to SOMEONE about this. If you can’t trust me or the Crystal Gems, who can you trust with these feelings?” Bismuth questioned him. He sighed and clutched his fists. “I know. I know. But I don’t want to hurt anyone's feelings… especially after what happened with Cactus Steven.” Steven told her. He felt nervous. Bismuth sighed. “Steven, I know you’re scared. But remember, you can trust the Crystal Gems to handle this. Just talk to them. However, if you’re really that scared of hurting their feelings, perhaps you should talk to someone who won’t care that you are saying whatever you’re afraid of saying. I mean, it’s not like they’d care.” Bismuth explained as she provided options. Steven blinked as an idea came into his head. “Someone who won’t care… I just know just the gem for the job. Thanks, Bismuth. I’m gonna go out and talk to them. You tell the gems I’m off to Little Homeworld.” Steven said with a happy grin. Bismuth smiled. “Well, okay then. Just be sure you don’t destroy anything! I’ll go back to Buismuth!” Bismuth said as she made a terrible pun. Steven chuckled and walked over to the Dondai. He got in and soon began to drive away.

The air was crisp as the young teen walked through the woods. He looked ahead and then stopped and looked back. He groaned. “Why am I doing this? She’s not going to listen to me, and she doesn’t want to teach me anything. This is NEVER going to work!” Steven told himself as he began to have doubts. He shocked his head. “No, I need to talk to SOMEONE! I need to do something other than be around the crystal gems. To be around the mess I made.” The last part said out of shame. He turned around and continued walking until he was in Jasper’s area. He stopped just before the plucked ground, took in a deep breath and looked around for Jasper. He made sure to look for anything bumpy since it would be a given that she was camouflaging herself again. However, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“Hello? Jasper, I know you’re here. I’ve come to talk to you.” Steven yelled out. An annoyed groan came from the cave and Jasper exited from behind the drape. She looked at the boy with a frustrated look on her face. “What are you doing here? Do you want to recruit me for your crummy school again or do you want me to teach you how to fight like a real quartz? I was really hoping that since you stopped visiting me awhile back, you had given up trying to ‘convert’ me into believing the same weak ideals as you.” Jasper interrogated him. Steven rolled his eyes. “Jasper, I’m not here to force you to do something you don’t want to do. Besides, I’ve given up running the school. I don’t have the authority to enroll you as a teacher anymore. Not to mention, I only want to help you! Nothing about you has changed since the last time we’ve met. You’re still here, still hating yourself, still directionless! I was at least TRYING to give you a purpose!” Steven yelled at her. Jasper snorted and chuckled. “Wait… (Laughs.) Did YOU give up on that crummy school of yours? I thought you loved bossing other gems around, Rose. Using them so you could feel like you were one of the Diamonds. But I guess a weakling like you couldn’t handle being in charge.” Jasper retorted, getting under Steven’s skin.

“NO! I made the school to help gems! I didn’t make it so I could feel like a diamond! Plus, I’m not Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond! Get it through your head! Besides, the Crystal gems can handle the school without me. All I was doing was getting in the way of everyone’s dreams.” Steven said as his anger turned into self-hatred. He shocked his head as Jasper laughed. “You truly are a worthless piece of dirt, Rose. Why are you even here to begin with? Shouldn’t you be oft doing whatever earthlings do instead of bothering me.” Jasper asked as she crossed her arms in smug pride. Steven looked at her with a worried look on his face. “Well, I… I…” He began to say but began to freeze up. He lowered his head and whispered to himself, “Come on Universe. You can do this. Just… Just talk about it.” He took a deep breath and then lifted his head. “I… need your help.” He said as the words felt like daggers in his chest. This surprised the big Cheeto ball, but she quickly sneered at him. “With what? Helping fight some monster you unleash, or maybe helping those earthlings? Couldn’t you just use or fuse with one of your weakling gems to deal with it?” Jasper asked, not really wanting to help him. The young teen shocked his head. “No, it’s nothing like that. You saw what was wrong with me when we fought recently. You are the only gem whom I can trust to talk about my problems. I… I can’t talk to the others about this, otherwise, I’ll just hurt them,” He said as his mind immediately flashed back to his fight with Cactus Steven and what happened at the reef.

“What are you even talking about, dirtbag?” Jasper as she walked closer to him as a threat. Steven took in a deep breath and then looked Jasper in the eyes. “Jasper… you were right about me. I am nothing without my friends. Everyone in Beach city is moving away to bigger and better stuff, and I don’t know what to do with my life. I thought if I worked really hard at Little Homeworld, I could fill this empty void in my heart, but after Little Homeworld’s Graduation, I realized that the school doesn’t need me. I tried improving Amethyst’s mentorship plan, but I took it over and forced everyone into the roles I wanted. I couldn’t fix Volleyball’s scar… my mom’s first pearl from the damage dealt to her by Pink Diamond in the past. I was tricked into believing Bluebird Azurite wanted to change for the better, then had to watch my dad lose a good chunk of his hair to get away from her. I had to go through a lot of trouble making a gem safety video for Sunstone, using MYSELF as the genie pig for the lesson. I’ve been using that Pink form you saw me in our fight, throwing tantrums left and right. Bubbling my friends in a dome and almost crushing them to death! And, when I tried to relax and enjoy gardening, I create a cactus monster that Spewed Out EVERY TERRIBLE THOUGHT I HAVE ABOUT MYSELF AND THE GEMS, THEN LEFT ME ALONE AFTER I APOLOGIZED!” He soon fell to his knees and began to cry. “Why… why can’t I fix this? Why do I need people? Why… why am I like this?” He asked himself, the pain was overwhelming. Jasper looked at the boy in shock. She was trying her best to process what just happened. She then sneered at him. “Pathetic.” She said, causing Steven to sniffle and look up to her. Tears were streaking his face as her massive form hovered over him.

“I knew you were some snot nose kid before, but this… this is just low, even for you. You badger on and on about how I NEED help and how you try to give me a purpose, when you, the ‘savior’ of the galaxy, don’t even know your own. Hahahaha. Oh, the irony. You truly are something kid.” Jasper said. Steven holds himself, the pain of her words dug deep. He gritted his teeth. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT TO HEAR!” He yelled, his body becoming engulfed in pink light. Jasper jumped back. Steven stood up as the tears flowed down his face. “I… I just wanted to hear someone say, ‘It’s going to be alright Steven… Everything is going fine. We love you.’ BUT NO! All you do mock me! Call me names and belittle me for feeling this way! I thought you would understand! I thought you understood how it felt to be constantly under the pressure to be something more! I thought you could relate your feelings of worthlessness to my own! I thought you would help me out in my time of need! I… I thought you would fuse with me…” He said, the last bit, surprised both himself and Jasper.

“You… want to fuse with me?” Jasper said in surprise. Steven held himself as the ‘pink state’ died down and he returned to his normal colors. “Yeah… I… I guess I do. Although I never thought I would say THAT to you, I guess you know now. I always remembered how you said nobody wanted to fuse with you. How you had to climb your way of Earth and had been fighting for your whole life to be free. I guess a part of me wanted to be that person to help you and fuse with. I never said that because… I… I was scared. I was scared of you rejecting me or worse, our fusion would be as unstable as Malachite. After all, we don’t see eye to eye, you JUST belittled me and said those awful things, and you don’t want to be a part of my life. I don’t want to give away my feelings to someone whom I can’t trust.” Steven confessed. Jasper looked down as she thought about what Steven said. The boy let out a sigh and got up. “I don’t even know why I bothered coming here. I guess my gut was right and I shouldn’t have gone up to visit you. I’ll be going now. I guess I’ll see you never. After all, why do I need to come back if I know you won’t help me?” He said in a cold voice. He began to walk away, but Jasper grabbed his hand, surprising the boy. He turned around and let out a confused “Huh?”. Jasper looked at the boy, then back at the ground. She began to move her mouth, but she soon shut it as if she had trouble talking. The young human/gem hybrid wasn’t used to seeing this from her. “Human… I never thought I was ever going to say this to you but… it’s going to be alright. I’m here.” She said, confusing the boy even more.

“Um… what’s going on?” He asked, very confused and a bit scared. Jasper sighed and then looked to the side. “Y… you are the first person to ever say something like that to me. Even after all this time, you still thought you could trust me with something as important as a fusion with you. That you trust me enough to think we are equals on the battlefield. It honestly surprised me.” Jasper said. Steven blushed in embarrassment. “Well, I could feel how much pain was in your heart, especially when you were corrupting. I thought if I could heal you, we could be friends. I thought fusion could help us see eye to eye for once. I don’t know if I could ever see the world as you do, but maybe this is just we need.” Steven said, offering a hand of friendship, “Although, it would be nice if you just called me Steven Universe instead of Rose.” He chuckled. Jasper rolled her eyes. “Fine. Just, don’t try and force me to live under the ocean like Lapis did or runaway like that Corrupted monster.” Jasper said. Steven smiled. “My lungs couldn’t even handle that much water. (Laughter.) But remember Jasper, we can’t stay the fusion for too long. Our minds could begin to deteriorate. And if you ever feel like you don’t want to be a part of this fusion, you can just unfuse with me and I’ll be fine. I won’t hold you back or try to keep us together as Lapis did.” Steven said, making sure Jasper knew all the rules. She just rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever.” She stated in a calm voice.

“You take the lead. I’ve never seen you dance except with Lapis, so you’ll have to go first. I’ll sync my dance to yours.” Steven said a smile on his face. Jasper grumbled and began to dance. Her movement was crisp and clear like a ballerina dancer. Steven followed, syncing his movement with Jasper. The two gems stones glowed as they got closer. They soon do a pose together and their bodies soon turn into light and fuse into one large being. The light dissipated as the new being opened their eyes. “Wow! This… is new. This… is different.” They let out in surprise. They had a female voice, but it wasn’t a mash-up of Jasper or Steven’s voice, it was its own voice and it was a slightly higher pitch than Jasper and it sounds somewhat like Smokey Quartz, although not quiet.

The fusion looked at itself. They were about a few feet taller than Jasper, they had two sets of eyes, two arms and two legs. They had medium length brown hair that went to below their shoulders. They had two fairly-size horns that were larger than what Jasper had with the one on the left being larger, the one on the left was bent to the left and then shifted up, they had the same partner design as Jasper’s horns although their colors were mostly dark purple with one horn with an under layer of light purple. A dark purple wavy stripe was across most of Steven’s eyes, some of Jasper’s eyes, and most of Jasper’s gem. The gem was a light yellow, gold and dark brown color. A dark golden-brown stripe was on the fusion’s left cheek, and a stripe of dark golden-brown was across their upper chest. The top eyes of the fusion belonged to Jasper and the lower ones were Steven’s although his eyes looked sinister and they had fangs. Their main color was a light golden brown with darker golden-brown stripes, but they could also see from their arms that they also had two other colors, a deep dark purple-red and a lighter version of that color. They had only two arms with strips of dark golden-brown, dark purple and light purple on their right arm, and a stripe of light brown on their left arm and dark purple and light purple splotches on their left hand. They wore Steven’s jacket but the sleeves only reached halfway up their arms, Steven shirt wasn’t long enough so their stomach area was exposed, although Jasper’s top overlaid Steven’s shirt, covering most of it and blocking out most of the star with only the top bit poking out. Steven’s gem was exposed and around his gem were dark purple and light purple splotches around the gemstone like Cherry Quartz, although there was another blotch of dark purple and light purple on the right of their stomach, separate from the ones near the gem. The gem itself shows multiple shades of gold, yellow, and brown. Steven’s pants reached all the way to their ankles with Jasper’s boots on their feet. However, what surprised them the most was the fact that they had a long lizard-like tail with a row of spikes leading to the end of the tail. The spikes were a mix of the light golden-brown and the darker golden-brown while the tail itself had an upper layer of dark purple scales and a ‘belly’ layer of light purple scales.

“Wh-what the? A… a tail? Why do we have a tail? Why is it like that? If it’s a sign of corruption from you, Jasper, it should be like a dog’s tail, since ya know, that’s kind of what your corrupted form looked like.” The fusion asked itself as it began to panic. Suddenly the fusion slapped itself and took a deep breath. “Calm yourself, obviously this is Steven’s contribution to the fusion. B-but if it’s me, then does that mean I could? UGH! Shut up and calm down! You panicking like this isn’t going to solve anything, Universe. Besides, I don’t see why you should. Unless, you think us uncorrupted gems can NEVER fuse, otherwise we spread the ‘problem’ of corruption.” The fusion began to argue itself, pitching itself up whenever it was Steven in control and pitching itself down for Jasper. The fusion took in a deep breath and began to calm down. “No, everything is fine. We’re fine. This is fine… we’re just… fine.” They said, then smiled. They looked at their hands. “This… is fine.” They said again, then looked around in wonder. “So… this is how it feels to be us, huh. It… feels different. We don’t even know how to feel about ourselves. Still, what should we do now that we’re like this? We don’t want to just stay here and train. We want to experience this new existence. To do things we normally feel as Jasper…and maybe as Steven.” The fusion said, then an idea popped into their mind. “Oh! How about going to beach City! There are games and rides like Whackerman and Video games! But, ugh, that is so Human! I don’t want to interact with those… things. Oh, come on, Jasper, we got to meet halfway.” The fusion told itself.

The fusion sighed and held its nose gem. “Fine. We’ll go. Can we fly? I don’t know. Steg and Smokey Quartz can. Speaking of, what are we?” The fusion asked himself. They began to think. “Jasper and Pink Diamond…Rose quartz… ugh. I don’t know. We’re brown, we have strips, we have a tail, so maybe if we think together maybe it’ll just click like that. So… what’s gold/brown, has stripped, and has a tail… wait… a tiger! We’re Tiger Philanthropist… wait, who? Oh, an identity I made for wrestling way back. I could tell you his backstory if you want. … No. But we’re not this Tiger whatever, we’re a gem. What gem that’s like a Tiger? Wait… Tiger’s Eye! We’re a Tiger’s Eye!” Tiger’s Eye said as they realized what they were. They chuckled to themselves. “Aw man, that’s SO COOL!” They soon giggled to themselves. After a few seconds, they calmed down. “So, can we fly? I don’t know, let’s find out.” Tiger wondered before becoming determined.

They soon jumped high into the air, a few feet above the trees. They shifted their bodies to move forward, but they soon noticed that they weren’t gaining any height, they were just falling slowly towards the exit of the forest. “Ugh, no, we only have your floating powers.” They said in anger, but this made them begin to fall faster. They quickly grab onto a tree before they fell to their deaths. The momentum causes them to scratch on the tree until their momentum stopped. They sigh in relief before looking at the tree in shame. They lifted one of their arms, using their legs and their other arm to keep their position, then licked their hand and use Steven’s healing spit to repair the tree. “Sorry tree.” Tiger’s Eye said in its higher voice, then groan, “Don’t apologize. It’s just an earthling.” The fusion sighed in frustration and then jumped to tree to tree, getting a little bit lower each time until they were at the ground and right next to the Dondai. “Welp, that was a bust, but now I know that we can’t fly, and we got remember that my floaty powers are controlled by me being happy or upset. Ugh. Just like all my stupid powers.” Tiger’s Eye said, annoyed at itself. They shocked their head. “Anyway, since we can’t fly, we’ll have to use the Dondai. But…” They looked at the car then at their tail and compared their height to the car. “I’m too big! It was a pain getting a Quartz in there, now I got to find a way to fit myself and my new tail in there without wrecking the car!” They poked at spikes on their tail. It was sharp, so they had to worry about the spikes. “Hmmm. I could shapeshift to be smaller. But I don’t LIKE that! Shapeshifting is just EMBARRASSING! But I HAVE TO! I DON’T WANNA WALK ALL THE WAY TO LITTLE HOMEWORLD OR BEACH CITY! IT WOULD TAKE FOREVER!” They grunted and held their face. They sighed.

“Fine, but once we’re in Beach City, we get out of the car and return to normal size… after finding a good place to park my baby… Man… Steven, you such a wimp.” The fusion said, arguing with itself again. They take in a deep breath and glowed, their body shifting into the size of Steven. Other than their pants being a bit too long, their clothes fit perfectly with Steven’s shirt covering up his gem again. They pull out the car keys and unlock the car. “Alright, now. To get this tail in without hurting the car.” They said. They looked for a good approach, then an idea appeared in their head. They lifted their tail up and lean it against the back of the seat. They get in the car, got buckled, and leaned forward so they wouldn’t lean up against their tail. “Ya know, if you lived closer to Little Homeworld, we could have just used the warp,” Tiger said as they turned on the car. They soon sighed. “Man, this fusion is just… so fun.” They said sarcastically, “Hopefully once we’re in town, we’ll have a better time.” They then drove back into town.

They looked at the picture of Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet Steven had taped onto the top of the hood. They softly chuckled. “So, you care about them so much. Y-yeah. I do. It’s just… hard living with them sometimes. Sometimes… it’s like they still treat me like a kid. I know they don’t want to do it; they just want to have fun with me. It’s just… hard sometimes.” Tiger’s Eye began talking to itself, switching between Steven and Jasper. “Honestly, I don’t know how you can even stand them sometimes. Honestly… I sometimes ask myself that question too. Oh… really?” Tiger looked at the road, making sure they were driving safely. They still had a way to go before they reach Beach City.

“Yeah. Like… I don’t know. It’s just hard having people needing to depend on you for emotional support. And… to tell you the truth, I know they need me to be strong but sometimes, I don’t want to be strong. I just wanna be a kid and have silly adventures. The Crystal Gems don’t know how to handle me or my powers. They’re scared of me losing control. Like, one time, I so afraid of being seen as a kid, I kept aging into different periods of adulthood until I was an old man and almost died from it. The gems brought me back to normal but… it was still a scary time. Then there was the time that I stretched my body to look older, so I won’t look like that small boy you used to see me as to impress everyone. I… I was so tired of being this little kid, especially after I learned that it wasn’t normal for me to keep looking like I used to. But… I couldn’t hold the form and reverted into a baby. Connie helped me recover from that, and once I learned I was growing facial hair, that helped me feel more confident about my body. But it still was a strange time. And then… there was the time I tried to relax and shapeshift into a cat, but I could only change one of my fingers into a cat. At first, it was fine, but then more cats formed on my fingers and I started losing control, and I was becoming an adorable cat monster! And… and Dad had to be the one to help me and the only way to save me was to go through the Car Wash! And then… c-calm down. I’m here. We don’t need to shapeshift. This is only temporary.” Tiger’s Eye said, Steven’s panicking made her tighten her grip on the wheel before loosening it as Jasper’s mind helped calm them down. They take a deep breath. “Y-yeah. Just… just wanted to explain why we couldn’t just shapeshift with wings or something. Hahahaha.” Tiger’s Eye laughed as tears formed in Steven’s eyes, “It’s… it’s okay. I don’t like shapeshifting too. It just feels so unnatural. I can see the practical uses of it for battle, but I will never use it myself, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to need to master it either.” Jasper told Steven. The fusion sighed and nodded. They soon noticed that they had entered Beach City. They quickly find a place to park the car and get out.

Once out, they release their shapeshifted form and sighed in relief. Although keeping a smaller form was much easier than keeping a larger form, they still felt more comfortable being their regular size. They whip the tears out of their eyes. They take a few deep breaths and then stood up. “Okay, we’re here. Now what…” Tiger asked themselves. Suddenly their stomach growled. “What was that?” Tiger asked themselves, before Steven’s personality kicked in, “Oh. I guess all that crying and talking and… stuff must’ve worn us out. I need to eat. Now, if you don’t want to try the food, that’s all right. We can just unfuse and I’ll get something to eat.” However, part of them was intrigued. “Eat. What do you mean by eat? Well, humans don’t have infinite energy, so we chew up items like pizza, fish, and potatoes to eat. It’s actually quite good. Amethyst likes to eat a lot, but gems like you don’t need to do it. We can just unfuse if you want.” Tiger talked to themselves, letting Jasper have an out. Tiger shocked their head. “No. I won’t let a puny little thing like ‘eating’ separate us like that. Besides, I can withstand any weird feeling you put on me. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Tiger explained. They soon walked over to the Fry Stand. Peedee was working at the place when he noticed them. “Um hello, miss…” Peedee began to say in a polite manner.

“Tiger’s Eye. Um… yeah. I can accept female pronouns. But letting you know; I also use They and Them pronouns as well.” Tiger’s Eye explained. Peedee nodded and looked at the gem. “Neat… Hey, isn’t that Steven’s jacket? Steven is that you?” Peedee asked. Tiger’s Eye laughed in glee. “Yep. It’s me, Peedee! Well, it’s more than me. I’m a fusion with Jasper right now! We’re doing some bonding time!” Steven’s personality shined through as she said that. Peedee smiled. “Wow… wait, wasn’t Jasper that big mean lady you’ve told us about. Um… Sorry about that.” Peedee said, then quickly apologized when he realized he was also talking to said the lady. Tiger’s eye rolled her eyes. “Yeah. But supposedly it’ll be different. However, right now, I’m not so sure about it. Anyway, I’ll have… the bits.” She said as she tried to act cool. Peedee nodded. “One plate of the bits, then.” He said then moved to the back of the area. Tiger looked at the boy. “So, he’s your friend, right? Uh-huh. Why does he work for a place like this? Well, because he likes it. He has his own truck where he sells his own food, but Peedee still tends to work here every now and again. I just hope…” Tiger’s Eye began to say but was interrupted by a loud squeal of excitement that was all TOO familiar. Tiger groaned and facepalmed herself as she looked at the sound. “A snerson! Peedee, you got to see this! It’s a real-life snerson!” Ronaldo said as he pulled out his phone. “Huh?” Peedee said as he brought out a bag full of potato bits.

Ronaldo was standing a few feet away from Tiger. He most likely came from the boardwalk. Tiger’s Eye turned towards the man. “Ronaldo, I’m not a snerson, it’s me, Steven! I just fused with Jasper and some of her corrupted forms have transferred to me… Steven… man being a fusion can be so confusing. Anyway, I’m not corrupted, it’s just a side-effect of us fusing.” Tiger tried to explain. Ronaldo squinted his eyes in suspension. “Sure, you are, Snerson. But how do I know you’re not just some Snerson pretending to be Steven fused with this Jasper.” Ronaldo asked. Tiger growled in anger. “Ugh, I’m wearing Steven’s jacket and clothes! I have his and Jasper’s gems! What more proof do you need!?” Tiger asked in frustration. Ronaldo looked at her and then went around her. “So, if you are Steven and Jasper, how come you have a snake tail and snake horns?” Ronaldo asked before stopping in front of them. Tiger groaned. “The horns were on Jasper’s corrupted form first, our fusion just made them more different. Also, what snakes have horns? As for the tail, it must be from Steven. I don’t know how or why, but something about him makes him into a snerson when he corrupts… n-not that I am corrupted or anything. This… this is just hypothetical.” Tiger said a bit scared at the end.

“I mean, one of the corrupted gems used to be that Big Crab we used to record for your vlog thing, so it’s not too weird that maybe Steven would be a snake if he corrupted. Hey… maybe that’s why there’s a snake on the dollar bill! The founding fathers must’ve known the Diamond Authority would become snakes if they turned into monsters!” Peedee said with confidence. Ronaldo gasped and pulled out a dollar bill. “Of course! It all makes sense! The Diamonds ARE SNEEPLE ALL ALONG! But how did the US government know this in advance? Was the Great Diamond authority in on this?” Ronaldo wondered.

“What, that’s absurd. I’ve been with the Diamonds for over two years and other than making peace with the US government, there have been no signs of the Government knowing about the Diamond Authority or about Sneeple.” Tiger’s eyes said. She pulled out a dollar and gives it to Peedee. She then grabs her food and begins to eat. “Okay, but then how did the Government know about this? Why would they put this obvious connection on their money? Perhaps, the Diamonds have been hiding stuff from you, Steven… and whoever you’re fused with!?” Ronaldo said, causing Tiger to chock on her bits. They quickly cough and release the pressure they accidentally build up. “That’s absurd, Ronaldo! The diamonds… they… they trust me…” Tiger’s eye began to say but felt the fear build up in their mind. Images of Pink Diamond sobbing in her room, yelling at the Diamonds, and breaking items flashed in their mind. They held their head. “They… they’re not the same as back then. They… they trust me…” Tiger’s Eye said as to try and rebuild their confidence. Flashes of Jasper fighting in the war, images of gems talking behind Jaspers’ back, then images of Jasper begging Yellow Diamond to attack earth flashed in their mind. “I’m… I’m not worthless…” They said, then images of ‘classic’ Steven waiting for the gems to come back from their mission and Steven’s imagined conversation from an Indirect Kiss entered their mind. Tears flowed out their eyes as the pain was becoming too much.

“Steven, Jasper, Tiger’s Eye! It’s okay! We’re here! RIGHT, Ronaldo! Please, they need us.” Peedee said, the last part a whisper to the boy’s brother. Ronaldo blinked and then awkwardly laughed. “Y-yeah! Tiger’s Eye! That’s right! Besides, it could all just be the Government who’s lying! Of course, not Nanefua, she’s one of the few that aren’t like that.” Ronaldo said as to try and cheer them up. The fusion sniffled and looked at him. “R-really?” They asked. Ronaldo nodded. “Yeah, the Government is always trying to hide things! Anyways, enough sadness! Let’s think of something to CHEER. YOU. UP!” Ronaldo said as to try and help Steven. Tiger took in a deep breath. They quickly finished up eating and sighed. “Welp… at least I’m no longer hungry.” They said. Ronaldo sighed in relief.

“So… Tiger’s eye. That’s a cool name. What do want to do? Who is… Tiger’s Eye?” Ronaldo asked. Peedee nodded. “Yeah, I mean, you’re a whole new fusion, Steven. Maybe you can show some sick moves!” Peedee said with excitement. Tiger chuckled. “Really?” They asked. The two brothers nodded in excitement. Tiger’s Eye laughed and rushed onto the Beach. “Alright, let’s see what my weapon is!” She said as she pulled out Steven’s Shield and Jasper’s helmet. She looked at both objects. Peedee and Ronaldo sat down at the edge of the pier. “Hmmm, a shield and a helmet… what do these two things have in common or… what can I make with them?” Tiger wondered. The group thought. “Oh! How about a complete battle armor!” Peedee said. Ronaldo scolded, “No, that’s too basic for something like her! Oh! How about a laser gun! Or a broad sword! Or a cannon! OH! A SWORD GUN!” Ronaldo yelled out. People began walking towards them. Tiger’s eye began shaking seeing them. They close their eyes and then a thought appeared. They grab the helmet and chuck it into the air. They throw the shield and the two hit each other and glowed. They fuse into one weapon as a double-headed Axe with a medium-sized handle. “Wow! An ax! That’s clever!” Ronaldo said, impressed. Tiger’s Eye chuckled and quickly put their weapon away as it disappeared into light particles.  “Yeah… although, it is the most weapon like a weapon I’ve had with a fusion. Well, that’s because you think of simple toys. I think of something more practical.” Tiger’s Eye said, then giggled.

The people on the boardwalk looked at the fusion, waved at them, and then continued their way. Tiger sighed in relief. “Man, this fusion is really hard to keep it together… but I know we can do this! Besides, we haven’t even done anything fun yet. All we had were meltdowns and crying! I do NOT want to keep doing this! I want to have FUN! I want to know what makes living on Earth worth it to Steven!” Tiger yelled. They were getting so fed up with having to deal with their two sides constantly fighting with each other or having a meltdown. “Alright, alright, calm down. There are tons of fun things to do, like, um, the arcade, there’s the pier, video games at Steven’s house, the Big Donut, um… Oh! Hey, there’s supposed to be a wrestling match tonight! It’s supposed to be like a multi-match event. Supposedly it’s like survival of the fittest or something, whoever stays in the ring long enough wins the wrestling cup. Doubles or Singles are allowed tonight. That sounds like fun!” Peedee explained. This peaked Tiger’s Eye interest. “Oh yeah, Steven did say that he used to use wrestling. Although, I think we got tired of it because he was being too nice, so Lars didn’t like his character anymore, and Amethyst didn’t want to play wrestling now that she was MATURE now.” She said in a bitter tone. She shocked his head.

“Anyway, we weren’t interested because he tried to explain his ‘backstory’ for the event. It sounded pretty dumb from what little we heard. But what was that about the survival of the fittest?” The fusion asked. Ronaldo stood up as shadow draped over his eyes. “The world of wrestling is a dangerous and evil land where only the strong can survive. I tried my hand at the ring and was punched so hard, I never went back.” Ronaldo stated, exaggerating his story. Tiger’s Eye chuckled. “Oh yeah, that was pretty funny. And… punching… that’s something I can do. That sounds like the perfect thing for us to do. But… I still like the idea of building a character… ugh… my head.” Tiger said, then held their head. This made the two brothers worried. “Hey, are you okay? Maybe you should unfuse, at least until tonight. You two might need a break from each other.” Peedee said. Ronaldo nodded. “Yeah. Plus, all your bad mojo could collide with each other too much if you don’t give each other some time to think for yourselves.” Ronaldo said.

Tiger’s Eye looked away. “I… We’ll think about it. For now, we’re fine. We’re going to go walk the boardwalk for now.” They said. Ronaldo and Peedee looked at each other and then at the fusion. Peedee stood up. “Welp, be careful. See you at the ring tonight. Oh! I almost forgot; the wresting even will be at 8 pm at the abandoned warehouse.” Peedee said, then went back to the shop. Tiger’s eye waved at him. “I got my eye on you, Tiger’s Eye. Don’t go pull any Snerson tricks up your sleeves. I don’t want you to hurt yourself or Society.” Ronaldo said, then walked away. Tiger’s eye nodded and then her stomach growled again. She blushed in embarrassment. “I guess that wasn’t enough to satisfy our hunger. What time is it?” They wondered as they pulled out Steven’s phone. They activated it and put in the numbers, but it was much harder thanks to their pretty meaty fingers. “Ugh. Why do these tiny earthling communication devices have to be so small?” They wondered in annoyance. They soon looked at the device and saw it was around 1:30. “Wow, time sure flew. It’s already past lunchtime. No wonder we’re hungry. Why don’t we get a salad and something to drink? Maybe we’ll like that more than just eating some bits. …Whatever.” Tiger said to herself. She put the phone back in their coat pocket and walked over to Fish Stew Pizza.

(To be continued.)

[miodesblog]

Fresh Out Of The Fridge is out now on all online platforms including i-tunes and Spotify. It’s a collection of comedic/ pop orientated songs written mostly in my twenties. Here’s some sleeve notes.

Trolley

The initial inspiration came from a conversation between two teenagers that l overheard at a bus stop. One of them had a crush on someone in a local band and the memory of it cropped up around the time of Brit Pop, when I was just starting a band. It’s about no band in particular and every Boy band ever! The phrase Light Your Lolly came from Chris Evan’s Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush, in which contestants tried to win a holiday in the sun, but failing that got one in somewhere like Bournemouth.

Fresh Out Of The Fridge

I really don’t remember how I got this idea from except that I was always a bit of a wallflower at parties and didn’t really know how to flirt-especially with anyone I actually fancied. In my dreams I wasn’t so hesitant. So this song is about that. I never shared this with the band. I probably thought it was not going to go down well!

Chemicals

The band did a good job with this but I hated my vocals at the time . I was trying to not sound American and not sound like a fake cockney and managing to sound like both. It’s a funny sort of song about depression.

Lois and Sam

This song is about the flatmates I had when I first came to London. They were a right gang of two with a sour, misanthropic outlook which they took out on me. When I left the house, I promised myself that, whatever disappointment I had to face in life, I was not going to be like that when I got to their age.

Cactus

I sometimes listen to Woman’s Hour on radio 4 and during the nineties there was a little Feng-Shui craze. On the programme a consultation was in progress and this was how it went- almost verbatim. I always admired Noel Coward and Swan & Flanders and this song is in a similar comedic vein.

Belly Of A Monster

Walking around a fun fair there was a hoarding for one of the rides, where the passengers started by riding on the dragon then end up it’s belly. It made me think of all the people who end up in a situation sort of by accident - namely a job where they have no control over their life and no freedom to follow their dreams.

Stupid Over You

This is another song that I anticipated the bands rejection. I was the queen of hopeless and quite unlikely crushes. It’s got this slightly angry guitar line and a dreamy Celeste which conveys my annoyance at my own sentimentality!

Hey you!

I used to live on what’s called the Haringey Ladder in north London. Most days I would go for a walk in Finsbury Park to feed the ducks and pick up kindling (our squat still had open fires) Quite often I got men coming up to me to chat me up -or worse. It was really annoying. So this song is sort of Park Life if you’re a girl!

Elizabeth Republica

This song was co-written with the drummer Michael Andrawis. In the aftermath of Lady Diana’s death there was a wave of anti royal feeling going on-at which Michael’s earthy Dorset mum complained. It’s a bit of a tongue-in-cheek take on the protest song which is normally of a leftist nature - but were the shoe on the other foot -and The Queen And I a reality - there would be scope for singing the old girl’s praises.

Slow moving Traffic

This song kind of wrote itself. I grew up listening to a fair amount of country music and it’s a affectionate parody of the genre.

Lovely Malady

I didn’t have many boyfriends in my twenties but listened to friend’s moaning about theirs endlessly while never quite managing to leave the relationship. I couldn’t work out what made them act this way and concluded that they must get some kind of perverse kick out of it.

The Dawn and Anthony

This was originally a poem that I wrote around 18. I had a very handsome but unreliable boyfriend. The chorus was added on more recently is the perspective of the older me. It’s a funny but also a lament to passing youth and love.

Winners Green

This was written around the same time. I lived near a Suffolk village where there really was a Lord Of The Manor who closed off the path to the church on his newly acquired land. It’s a commentary on English country life in modern age, where the desirable houses are often exclusively owned by people who don’t live there.

Bus Ride Home

This song was perhaps the Ideal Home at its poppiest. It was inspired by my current crush and also the teen magazines that I read in my school days like Mizz and Jackie. These featured silly quizzes and hocus pocus ways of finding out, among other things, the suitability of boyfriends. Star signs and numerology were featured. The signs weren’t good, not that it made any difference.

Thank You And Good Night

I was instructed by my old band mates that I ought to be more friendly and chatty on stage and make some attempt at promoting us at the end of each gig. I absolutely hated having to do this - so whimsically wrote a song that would cover the essential elements. The music has been in my head for years and years and I must admit I felt a little pathos towards the end because the last gig was played over twenty years ago. Now here I was recording the song on a desktop computer with programmed instruments.

[lookninjas]

So this is the piece I wrote for the last issue of FUCKIT, and I’m posting it here for a couple of reasons.  A -- I always kind of wanted to and it’s mine, so I’ll do what I want.  B -- As a word count case study, this is 1309 words or so, and it’s about four pages long.  Which seems bad, but it also depends on how I format, what font I choose, and honestly this last issue was 32 pages and still pretty slender, so my point is don’t stress the length too much unless you’re at, like, 5,000+, in which case we’ll have to have a discussion about giving you your own little thing. 

And then, C -- if anyone out there feels like what they wrote is too off-the-cuff or messy or goes into too many tangents or just isn’t formal enough or whatever:

This is what I deliberately chose to write, as the person making the zine.  This is what I felt best encapsulated the feeling of FUCKIT.  And honestly, even though I almost kind of cringe at some of it, I still feel that way.  We are saying FUCKIT.  This is the point.

So:

The problem is wanting to write the perfect thing. 

The problem is wanting to write the perfect thing when your subject inherently is imperfection.  The glorious messiness of life in all its bitterness, all its frustrated lashing out and bad decisions, too much and then again not enough and then too much again, petty jealous miserable misanthropic messy messy messy because at the same time I still want to somehow get it right.  To be understood.  To make some kind of a damn sense. 

It's hard.

Of course it's hard.  Every damn thing is hard.

That's not the point.

Anyway.  This is a tribute to Robert Smith.

It isn't just that Trent Reznor probably said it all first, and arguably said it better.  It's the problem of saying any of it without it coming off worse than it should.  It is 2019 and at no point are any of us to aspire to be any less than our best selves.  To live our best lives.  Instagrammable soups in designer bowls we got for cheap on Amazon with free next-day delivery and I swear to God I will get to the point here soon I'm just trying to establish some context. 

So. 

For context: I am a forty year-old woman aging awkwardly in a world I understand less with every passing day.  And I don't mean antifa, and I don't mean memes, and I don't mean this modern music or the clothes or the slang or the tattoos or the funny hair colors.  I mean, mostly, contouring.  Contouring and everyone's weirdly identical eyebrows.  The fetishization of names like Apple.  And Tesla.  Mindfulness.  Fucking mindfulness.  And manifesting.  What the fuck is manifesting and why the fuck does Alyssa Milano think that's the way for us to get the game show host out of office and for the fucking record how the fuck did the game show host wind up in office and what the fuck made the United Kingdom go "Oh, we've got one of those!  Let's elect him Prime Minister!" and why the fuck does Alyssa Milano (Alyssa Milano!) think we should instead be manifesting into office a goddamn faith healer with a Course In Fucking Miracles and why the fuck am I supposed to care what Alyssa Milano (Alyssa fucking Milano!) thinks to begin with and how much of this can I blame on John Mayer because I'm fucking blaming some of it on him at least fuck you and your Waiting for the World to Change, Johnny-boy, fuck you straight to Hell --

But Robert Smith still exists, and I guess that means there's hope for us yet. A specific kind of hope. 

Black-clad.  Hair a graying bird's nest of tangles.  Eyeliner unfashionably heavy, lipstick smeared, guitar festooned with stickers like the hatchback of my niece's hand-me-down Subaru.  Bursting into tears at the end of a concert, bursting into tears in the middle of "Disintegration," bursting into tears because boys might not cry but Robert Smith goddamn does and I guess if he does, then maybe it's okay if I do too.  Maybe I can go back to dying my hair black if I want to, maybe I can wear eyeliner if that's the mood of the day, maybe I can pile on jewelry or maybe not, maybe I can do what the fuck I want to because Robert Smith goddamn does and he is perfectly fine.  Better than fine.  Robert Smith got inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by Trent fucking Reznor, and I get that that's never going to be my life story (I'd have to take up an instrument other than euphonium, for starters), but still. 

Maybe I don't have to think about the right way to age, the right way to eat, the right way to shower or take a nap or tie my shoes.  Maybe I don't have to compete against my weird imaginary Best Self living her Best Life in total wellness and inner peace, this race I can never win, this high score I can never catch up to.  Maybe I can just, you know, be a fucking person.  Human and strange and spiky and flawed.  And it's okay.  I'm okay.  So are you, while we're at it.  We're not okay, but you know, we still are.

Maybe this still isn't the best way to explain it.

Maybe it's the only way there is.

*

It's hard.  All of it is hard. 

That's not the point, but then again it is, too.

Look at your imaginary Best Self, living their imaginary Best Life.  Looks pretty easy, doesn't it?  Looks like it all just kind of happens without trying.  Without smudging the makeup, without rumpling the clothes or messing up the hair. No unflattering wrinkles, no bulges distorting the line of the dress.  Simple and clean.

Now look at Robert Smith.  Rumpled, messy hair, smeared lipstick, thick black eyeliner.  Living his life, his only fucking life, and tell me it's not a hell of a life?  It sure as fuck is.  Married to the girl he fell for as a teenager, still in a band with his best friend, still in the Cure after over 40 years of it, playing festivals, recording music, maybe even releasing it someday (we kid because we love, Robert).  No one could accuse him of making it look easy; looking back, it sometimes seems a hell of a lot harder than it should've been.  But you know, he fucking got there.  On his own terms, in his own inimitable style, he got there.

Doesn't it all kind of make the whole Perfection Quest seem kind of pointless?  A distraction at best, a modern-day Soma at worst?  I'm not saying don't do what makes you happy, just -- do what makes you happy, not what you think will make you happy at some point in some future where you've finally got your shit together.  Where you've completed every quest, beaten every boss, finished every level.  Because we don't.  Or I don't think we do.  I don't think we get our shit together.  I don't think we ever feel adult, or mature, or ready. I don't think it ever gets easy.

I don't think you ever say it the way you mean to.

I don't think that's the point.

*

The point is that, sometime over the summer, YouTube suggested I watch a video of the Cure performing at Glastonbury, and I did, and it hasn't been the same since then.  Or rather, it's been more the same than it ever has.  Or both at once.  Or neither.  It's hard to say.  A lot of things are.

The point is that it helped. 

The point is that it's still hard, and it's always going to be hard, and that doesn't really matter and then at the same time it absolutely does.

The point is, go listen to "Fight" if you need to.  Go listen to "Faith" if you need to.  Go listen to "Friday I'm in Love" if you need to.

Wear black or don't.  Smear your lipstick or fill it in perfect with a brush or don't wear any.  Listen to the Cure.  Listen to Lizzo.  Listen to the birds or the river or the wind howling against the windows or top fucking 40 radio.  Be as clean as you want, be as messy as you need to, be the you that is you right now and not any other imaginary you because that you doesn't exist and it never will.  Live the life that you are living right now because that's the only life you get and it might be the worst sometimes but at the same time it is still the best.  It is the only.

Write something, even if it's not as perfect as it ought to be.

And fuck the point, anyway.  

[hekate1308]

Surprise, Fictober #2

Prompt number: 2, “Follow me, I know this area”

Fandom (AU if applicable): Endeavour, Magical Realism AU

Rating: G 

Warnings/Tags: No warnings apply

“Just follow me, I know the area”.

It was the last thing Peter expected to hear, especially spoken in this voice. “What –“

“Follow me, I said” Morse hissed, grabbing his arm, “And don’t look at anyone. What are you doing here anyway?”

“Got a call about an ongoing break-in. Managed to follow the culprit –“

“And so you ran right into – are you insane?”

“It’s our duty –“

“You should have called the Guard, and you know it.”

“I didn’t have the time to think of that!”

Morse sighed. “Fine. But now let’s get you out of here.”

And he started to drag Peter through the streets with more strength than he’d believed he possessed. “What are you doing here, anyway?” he asked, feeling rather irritated. Morse had asked for a few days off just yesterday. Family matters, he’d said. And now instead he’d found him in the demon quarter.

The demons didn’t call it the demon quarter, of course. They had their own names, their own language, their own habits.

Peter had met a few in his time, after they had been given rights when he’d been a boy, and had never considered them a danger to society. Still – Morse was right – they could be territorial. He should indeed have called their Guard to help instead of running into their quarter.

“Working” was all Morse said.

“But you took time off –“

“Not from my other duties.”

Peter managed to wrench his arm away and stood still.

Morse sighed. “What now?”

“What are you doing here?”

“You won’t go any further unless I tell you?”

“No.”

They were interrupted by a cheerful voice, “Hey Endeavour, do you know a human is busy glaring at you?”

Morse sighed but then grinned as he looked over Peter’s shoulder. “Imagine that, Tobias – I noticed.”

Then his eyes turned black.

And Peter remembered with startling clarity the old demon custom of them calling people by their last names until they grew familiar with them.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That’s Peter Jakes” Morse introduced him. “He’s a friend. Peter, that’s Tobias Jasper, collector of gossip.”

He assumed it was some sort of title until the other demons started to laugh. “You can just call me a journalist, you know.”

Morse shrugged. “Thought I’d be accurate for a change. Anyway, we need to get going.”

And he all but dragged Peter away again. “You got lucky; Tobias is one of the more progressive demons. We’ve been working to get the Council to open up more. We firmly believe in human-demon solidarity, you know.”

“You’re a demon” Peter said because it was the only thing he could think of.

Morse laughed, but it wasn’t one of his usual awkward chuckles – it was an open, happy laugh. “What gave it away?”

“But – you’re – you’re a demon! And you work and live among humans!”

“Yes. No law against it.”

“But – but why?”

“Well – someone has to eventually breach this ridiculous line that’s been drawn between humans and demons, don’t you think? So we – that’s me, Tobias and a few others who feel closer to humans than others – decided that we’d ease everyone into this.”

Peter had no idea what to say.

“Thankfully you all but ran into me. Just give me a description of the burglar; I have to get back to the Guard once I drop you off anyway.”

“The Guard?”

“Special request of the Council’s” he boasted.

“So that’s why you took time off.”

Morse grinned. “I didn’t think you were ready for the truth yet. Have to say though, you’re taking it pretty well.”

On their way out of the quarter, it became rather clear that Morse – or Endeavour, as most of those who recognized him called him – was not only well known to most demons of Oxford, but also well liked. So much for not looking at anyone; they barely spared Peter a glance.

Peter could only stare as the man he’d believed to be a rather misanthropic introvert turned out to be a social butterfly, happily greeting everyone he knew and even consoling a small demon boy who was crying in the streets.

As they watched him scamper off to buy an ice with the few pence Morse had bestowed on him, Peter felt like he’d entered a parallel universe.

“Would you mind terribly if we keep this between us just for now?” Morse asked once they had reached the outskirt of the quarter. “Like I said, we’re still figuring out how to ease people into this.”

“Of course” he immediately agreed. God, he needed a cigarette.

“Anyway, we’ll deal with your burglar, don’t worry” Morse told him happily, then all but skipped away.

Peter immediately went for a smoke.

Really, he reflected as he strolled back to the station, he wasn’t as surprised as he would have been had another one of his colleagues turned out to be a demon. This was Morse, after all.

The question that remind of course was – now what?

[satoshi-mochida]

Sekai Games announced several new console titles at E3 2019, including a Switch port of Regista’s Root Double: Before Crime After Days, a PlayStation 4 revival of Mr. Tired Media’s Undead Darlings: No Cure for Love, and updated release windows for previously announced projects such as World End Economica and Narcissu for consoles.

Get the details below.

Project LUX

Developer: forgevision, Sekai Games, Mighty Rabbit Studios

Platform: PlayStation VR

Release Date: June 2019

The crime… is murder.

The story takes place in a court trial, set in a futuristic world where most humans have cyberbrains. The defendant on trial is an agent who coordinates with artists to create the data for cyberbrains to interact with people’s emotions. The victim is a girl artist named Lux. The jury has to investigate what really happened by reliving the memory data of the defendant.

The multi-end virtual reality adventure will finally be available worldwide on PlayStation Network in late June 2019.

Root Double: Before Crime After Days

Developer: Regista

Platform: Switch

Release Date: Winter 2019

The year is 2030. Business is as usual in the isolated research city of Rokumei—that is, until several explosions suddenly go off in the nuclear research facility known as “LABO.” The city sends in “Sirius,” an elite rescue squad, to deal with the situation. But the situation only gets worse when LABO’s nuclear reactor melts down, sending the facility into lockdown—with members of Sirius and survivors still trapped inside.

With lethal radiation leaking everywhere and not enough anti-radiation medication to last until lockdown lifts, the survivors make discoveries that are more and more grim. In their struggle for survival, in a deathtrap full of fire and radiation, they learn that doubt is their greatest enemy, and trust their greatest asset.

The incredible adventure game from Japanese studio Regista is finally coming to Switch in cooperation with Sekai Games, and will be available on the Nintendo eShop in winter of 2019.

Fault: Milestone One

Developer: Alice in Dissonance, Sekai Games

Platform: Switch, PlayStation 4, PS Vita

Release Date: Summer 2019 (Switch) / Fall 2019 (PlayStation 4, PS Vita)

Who were the attackers and what was their goal?

Where did Selphine and Ritona end up?

Will the two make it home safely?

And more importantly, what has happened to their homeland?

Follow Selphine, the bubbly, happy-go-lucky Princess and her sharp-witted but slightly misanthropic Royal Guardian Ritona, on their journey of a lifetime back to their homeland of Rughzenhaide.

The long-awaited console version of the Fault series comes to Switch this summer! Featuring brand new music and artwork, this version of fault is the most beautiful and crisp adventure yet, and is sure to be one of the best visual novels available on consoles so far. The PlayStation 4 and PS Vita versions will be available this fall!

Tokyo Chronos

Developer: MyDearest

Platform: PlayStation VR

Release Date: August 2019

An empty, deserted Shibuya where time has frozen over. A suspenseful mystery woven by eight childhood friends trapped inside.

Lost memories; A strange message: “I am dead. Who killed me?”

Who is “I”? Why did we lose our memory? Who is the killer?

Fragments shattered like a broken mirror.

Where does the truth lie?

To kill, or not to kill ─ YOU decide.

Featuring the all-star staff of Haruki Kashiwakura (Expelled from Paradise), Kou Segawa (Kimi ni Korosareta to Shitemo), Kazuma Miki (Sword Art Online), MyDearest delivers one of the most engaging and unique adventures ever in VR! Tokyo Chronos will be available worldwide in August 2019.

Heart of the Woods

Developer: Studio Elan, Sekai Games

Platform: Switch

Release Date: Q1 2020

Maddie Raines has had enough. After years of serving as manager, editor, and general business-handler for her best friend Tara’s popular paranormal vlog channel, she’s finally ready to move forward with her own life. But when she agrees to take one last trip with Tara to the mysterious village of Eysenfeld, she’s suddenly swept up in a dangerous supernatural crisis that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Heart of the Woods is coming exclusively to the Switch eShop, bringing Studio Elan’s emotional smash hit to the console for the very first time.

World End Economica

Developer: Spicy Tails, Sekai Games

Platform: Switch, PlayStation 4, PS Vita

Release Date: Winter 2019

Set in the far future on the moon, 16 years after humans have begun to colonize it. A young boy named Haru has been chasing his wildest dream. His dream is to stand where no man has stood before, and in order to do so, he needs capital, a ludicrous amount of capital. What better place to get that amount of capital by using the stock market? There are two key rules that govern the stock market.

The first rule: Never take a loss.

The second rule: Never forget the first.

Only those who follow these rules are able to obtain enormous wealth…

The full collected package of Hasekura Isuna’s riveting adventure novel will come to Switch, PlayStation 4, and PS Vita in winter of 2019.

Narcissu: Lumiere Eternelle Edition

Developer: Sekai Games

Platform: Switch, PlayStation 4

Release Date: Winter 2019

“Life is like a waiting room, except people don’t leave in the order they enter.”

So when it is time to leave, where will it be? And will you be able to smile in the end?

Narcissu is a thought-provoking visual novel series about terminal illness, living, dying, and the relationship between those leaving and those left behind. There are no miracles, no heroes, no villains in this story. Just life and the characters finding their own ways of facing death in an indifferent, relentless, ever-impartial reality.

Featuring music from two video game legends: Chris Huelsbeck of Turrican fame, and Hiroki Kikuta of Secret of Mana fame, this console edition collects all stories from the official Narcissu series into one game.

Undead Darlings: No Cure for Love

Developer: Mr. Tired Media

Platform: PlayStation 4

Release Date: Q4 2019

Undead Darlings ~no cure for love~ is a happy-go-lucky dungeon-crawling visual novel RPG about a group of zombie girls and Reginald “Reggie” P. Happenstahnce.

Reggie’s father was involved in the creation of the zombie virus and gave his son the only known cure along with this command: “Take this cure to where it can be mass produced.”

Since they don’t know how to use the cure in its current state, the zombie girls and Reggie travel together throughout a funpocalypse wasteland where they explore dungeons, fight weird monsters, and learn more about one another along the way.

[purplemoonfox]

Watch the damn video. The title is upsetting but the video is good.

IMHO, yes and no to the tinfoily possibility of why this film flopped as presented by the video’s maker. I’ll explain why. Basically I agree wholeheartedly, but I don’t go in for conspiracy theories as such. One of these days I’ll write down my thoughts on Star Wars, fandom,society, and the early 2000′s. It’s part of my continuing if unwritten theory on All Else Aside, Why Advertising Should Be Heavily Regulated, closely related to Corporations Are Not People, Fuck Off Don’t @ Me. Also closely related to Ethics: The Class No One Likes In Business School Which Is Hilariously Ironic For A Lot Of Reasons. Little under grad me was sitting in a business school once and my friend walked over laughing. Apparently he’d overheard some business kids whining about how boring and useless ethics class was.

I’m a bit of a misanthropic shit with a bone to pick if you can’t tell.

Anyway--

If you asked me whether Disney had some grand, literally planned out conspiracy in torpedoing this movie, just so they could welch on a deal made with one of the previous execs, I’d say you’re reaching. Frankly, as they say, Disney is a business. Regardless of whatever face it puts on, Disney is a business. If they wanted it to flop they didn’t want a $70 million plus deficit. That’s why it freaked the fuck out after Solo flopped, which isn’t fair to Solo since poor Solo, which grew on me massively since I was somewhat bewildered by it at first (if anyone’s curious I’ll talk about that later) was in a somewhat similar situation when it went up at a weird time of year against DP2, the marketing was absolute shit because they’d practically given up after the backlash against a young Han Solo full stop, and they used a filthy casual generalist’s character (Han Solo) to showcase some very specialist in fandom’s details like (SPOILER?) Maul being alive again. But I do like the point the video maker made about the DVD release and winter movies, and the release environment. 

So let’s re-establish some points that the video maker made.

1. This was a personal passion project from the beginning, not a studio or company thing.

The directors struggled since 1987 to get this thing into motion and it was on an agreement made with an exec that it was ever put in motion.

2. This film spared no expense. 

The visual animation in this film is very well done. But it’s basically Disney animation tossing out all the stops. Which, honestly, was what they generally do when innovating, but...this is an animator’s and director’s movie. In a sense it’s an art film done by masters of their craft, but marketed by someone who is more interested in what sells. You want to know when we’ll get less Star Wars and MCU? Stop buying quite so much of it all. I say, as I’m going to run out and get me some sweet Dooku comics. Shut up. It’s not hypocrisy if I know what I’m enabling...LOL.

But here’s another thing that the video maker lauds, but forgets that studios can be really fucking finicky about this kind of off the wall risk-taking---

3. It’s anomalous in a lot of ways. 

That’s going to scare people in the industry because it’s not the tried and true that often wins the Benjis the easiest for the least effort. There’s a reason we now see so many franchises with long-running film series and remakes and sequels and so on--they have established characters in established universes that makes marketing have an easier time of establishing rapport with an audience and attracting attention. They don’t have to make anything new; new doesn’t even make as much money. Treasure Planet came out in 2002 for reference, POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl came out in 2003, so it was in that time period when movies didn’t necessarily have interconnected franchises and were instead relatively more separate iterations unto themselves, kind of like Rocky or Rambo, so it was a little before the era of massively planned out story arcs. I don’t think Marvel ever really had a plan to make the MCU as we know it today, I don’t think George Lucas knew what the fuck he was kicking off when he released TPM in 1999, which is to say the resurgence of Star Wars in concurrence with the rise of modern fandoms starting with the release of Pokemon in 1996 and continuing to play a big part in the lives of Millennials nostalgia is one of the few marketing techniques that work on us...and yes I can show studies. But studios chased that profit relentlessly and it eventually coalesced into something like a plan oh god I’ll move on or I’ll go into Star Wars and we’re not here for that.

I think people rely too much on the assumption that there must be some kind of dedicated conspiracy to bring outcomes like these, like they’re never the product of an unhappy outcome of multiple issues going on independently and congruently. Sometimes that involves personal issues on the part of the people making the decisions that affect something. Roads to hell and all that.

Okay.

The company wasn’t excited about it, it was something those newer CEOs couldn’t pull the plug on once they inherited it. And the company may not have wanted to make the second? Yes, all possible. Even likely. I’m also strongly reminded of Erich von Stroheim’s Foolish Wives, which got him banned from directing for life and established the supremacy of studios over directors forevermore.

Risks too many risks are anathema to a moneymaking entity in the black. These directors may have dragged Disney out of the shitter but now they were sitting comfortably on a pile of cash, and risk is a lot less costly--when you want to take it. When.

I’ve read some, not much, about social economic status and behavior. Rich people have less to lose when taking risks, so they can say cute things like “well just go off and do it and see what you get!” and possibly just face a setback, when for someone in a lower income status the possible outcome of risk is actual destitution. The former sees only potential benefit, the latter only danger.

Moneymaking institutions, on the other hand, tend to resist risk and change when the possible outcome is less money. If anything, they want just enough innovation to draw interest, but not enough to surprise or put people off. Side note: if Disney ever teamed up with Wal-Mart I’m going to call it Shin-Ra and no one can stop me. Disney in the shitter? Fuck yes, take risks--what we’ve got isn’t working and we desperately need to make money somehow. Disney not in the shitter? Fuck no, don’t take risks--what we’ve got is working and you’re possibly going to do something people won’t like so we won’t make money. Who cares if the two people at the head of the project are the reason you’re sitting on a mountain of cash right fucking now? A board without the risk of default only sees dangers, they’re not seeing potential benefits.

If anything there was a level of resignation and “fuck it, let’s let them do this because we kind of have to and see how it goes, this was their project, not ours” and a lot of “see, told you so! Now get back to work!” that went on. But it’s a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy that they won’t own up to, in that lack of an advertisement campaign in the run up to the release. They set the movie up to fail not because of a planned conspiracy but because of a risk-minimization impulse and...then make less than astute assumptions about what it was about the movie that caused it to fail--then plan off of all that.

Now. Going to change gears a little and go on a bit of a tangent, because it relates to that very last point--the part about moving forward.

Remember when this happened. The early 2000′s. What was emerging right around the early 2000′s? That’s right. CGI animation. Did Disney scrap their whole animation studios and pare it down to projection work after that spate of less-than-stellar performances before the Disney Renaissance? Did they blame animation itself for its faults? No they did not, but it would become a convenient whipping boy.

I got into a pretty unpleasant argument a few months ago when, having been asked what unpopular opinion one has on a thread, I said that I wished Disney hadn’t closed their 2D animation. I love 2D. I really do. Most of the people who replied were like “you do realize that isn’t an unpopular opinion kthx” and I was like “ok fair enough.”

But then this mouth-breathing chucklefuck that apparently can’t read labels thought it was cute to try and tell me why I’m wrong for me to have my own fucking opinion what a cute notion. He was a fucking twit, but I got a few salient points out of it to roll over in my head anyway. I strongly suspect he had something to do with the industry itself because of the points he made. He didn’t change my mind, but some points are worth thinking about.

1. Disney is for kids. Okay. Not if they don’t want to tap into more than just parents strapped for cashs’ pockets, but the movies are still made to be accessible and engaging for younger people, so I rolled my eyes and moved on.

2. Related to the first point, kids don’t like 2D animation anymore because they’re used to 3D because that’s what all their other entertainment is is. Why?

3. INNOVATION. EVERYONE WANTS INNOVATION AND GETS BORED WITHOUT 100% FULL THROTTLE VISUAL INNOVATION. YOU’RE JUST BEING A BITTER OLD NOSTALGIA HOUNDING HAG. 

Medium aside, the rest to a movie is really just window dressing; Moana had fantastic and original music as well as otherwise being visually stunning too, granted, because in no way am I hating on 3D itself; the point is it’s not an opera singer standing in for the voice actress, much as I love Beauty and the Beast’s animated soundtrack, but music can be played regardless of animation medium. And you’re damn right we could’ve had a Polynesian Princess before now.

Of the two I found the second point more interesting and less inane. The third was just...charming.

Now. Just to go back to Star Wars real quick to make a point; the OT is filmed in a way consistent with the time period it was made in. I’ve known people who tell me that they prefer the sequels and that ANH, ep 4 the one with the Death Star for anyone wandering in, not the one with Ewoks or Hoth, is boring. Why? Because it’s filmed like a movie from 1978, which means its pacing is different and so are the camera angles and so on. Because, uh, it’s a movie from 1978. What an original fucking concept. If you need a comparison for what was otherwise more or less the standard of SFX in the day, pop in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 1979 I’m not hating on Trekkies, I love you guys. Star Wars is phenomenally ahead of its time. For an older version, guys, I may loathe Citizen Kane with every fiber of my salty little being, but I will give it full credit for the innovations it made in camera angles and scene setting. 

All of this is not to forget The Princess and The Frog in 2009, which was great, but it didn’t smash through the roof like this was the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

So. We had Treasure Planet, whose release was a wretched cluster of fuck. We had Winnie the Pooh, which isn’t...well, guys, it’s not an original story, and then we had Home on the Range, which I’ve never seen. I enjoyed Brother Bear, but I swear the being a bear for most of the movie kind of killed the ability of a lot of people to put themselves in their shoes. Because let’s face it--if we’re going for blaming thematic issues, romance is still a part of the Disney theory, even if we’ve finally reached the point of questioning some of its normal tenets--not marrying someone you just met and why is everyone dancing come to mind oh Flynn Rider you fucking gem you. But none of that is made impossible by the medium of 3D. And why the fuck is everyone ignoring Mulan and Esmeralda in all this anyway. Well, poor Esmeralda always gets the short end of the stick. I swear though that woman did convince me that I could be fucking badass in a skirt though.

Meanwhile we see the rise of Pixar. In 1995, we had Toy Story my mother dragged us to see that movie seven times in theaters. Now that I think about it I shouldn’t be surprised that the woman was fascinated with the concept of a secret world anonymously devoted to the person that plays with them in a way that makes them literally dolls on shelves, since...reasons. Monsters, Inc., in 2001, Finding Nemo in 2003, The Incredibles in 2004, and Wall-E and Up in 2008 and 2009, respectively--after the acquisition by Disney in 2006. They haven’t done quite so well recently, their stock has taken on more sequels decently good sequels, granted, not the shitty made for video stuff that Disney put out, and some others. I’ll be annoyed if they make a sequel for Wall-E; I don’t know what that would look like. Maybe rediscovering the concept of competition over resources and nostalgia for the good old days of space. Nah. That just sounds like why Tolkien never wrote a sequel to LOTR.

I brought that bit about Treasure Planet (2002), Brother Bear (2003), Home on the Range (2004), and The Princess and The Frog (2009) up to mainly make the point that after Treasure Planet’s lackluster response until The Princess and The Frog, Disney gave it anything but relatively normal big-name projects...and then topped it off with Winnie the Pooh in 2011, which was never going to be a blowout hit. I like Winnie the Pooh itself enough to not disdain it, but I don’t like it enough to spend money on a fucking movie ticket. Mostly just tolerated it in Kingdom Hearts if not ignored it when I could. 

Now, you might think that the immediately previous statement basically made my point entirely invalid, but I also brought up that bit about the highly successful Pixar, which they bought in 2006. They pretty much lost interest and moved on to the shiny new thing; The Princess and The Frog really only got made because John Lasseter and Ed Catmull wanted to make it; Disney had meant to shut 2D animation down. Then it had some controversy, though to my knowledge the film did its best to resolve the issues. Furthermore, despite the fact that we were supposed to get more animated films because it did well, The Princess and The Frog, despite its success, we got the rug pulled out from under us when they didn’t get enough money.

Look. Every thirty years or so, somebody swears that they just invented 3D screens. While not on a television, they’ve had “how to make visual representation look 3D” since 1838. No, not 1938. 1838. It’s a stupid gimmick, and it will be a stupid gimmick the next time they bring it up, too. They have tried to sell 3D tv screens in the past, and it failed then, too. The point I’m trying to make is that sometimes it’s not the medium that’s at fault, although some people in the industry itself seem to blame it for not being “new” enough, as if it’s not their failure to innovate effectively and then do their due diligence that’s to blame. Disney basically shot themselves in the foot over Treasure Planet and hand-drawn animation in general, and threw up their hands, affected to forget that any of that ever happened, and blamed the gun that they suddenly found sitting at their feet--not because Treasure Planet was fated to be a failure from inception, or that 2D animation is intrinsically inferior to 3D and/or is less interesting to small children because it’s just older if that were the case and frankly, that point about kids and 3D and preference...well, Paw Patrol isn’t every kid’s show in existence, there are 2D animated kid’s shows, and Pixar would never have bothered researching Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin for wordless language while making Wall-E.

[fossengland0-blog]

Royal prince Charles Pens Environment Improvement Book For Ladybird

Royal prince Charles, a vocal doubter of manufactured environment modification, has taken on the problems as well as possible services in guide targeted at adults, baseding on files. These globes can easily have beneficial analogs to the real-world, performing under clinical versions of environments as well as climates as well as economies that run continuously, figuring out just how the effects from a lot of players incorporate into a summed result on the globe, as well as, extremely, discussing that info along with the gamer.

Plays take place in the air like basketball and volleyball, players endure excruciating volumes from managing like football, recipients leave their feet to earn spectacular catches like baseball outfielders, as well as much of the sporting activity is played in tournament format (a number of activities daily, suggesting an abundance of options for Athletics Center-like plays). WASHINGTON - President Obama will find to straight a historical incorrect following month when he awards pair of number of veterans of The second world war, Korea as well as Vietnam - including 17 Latinos - the Medal from Tribute after an extensive Pentagon assessment right into cultural as well as ethnological discrimination in the awarding from the country's pat on the head for battle valiance. The Irish novelist and also dramaturgist observed off fellow shortlistees Keggie Carew for her profile Dadland, artist Alice Oswald for her collection Brokening Awake, youngsters's writer Brian Conaghan for his manual The Bombs That Brought United States With each other as well as the respected non-fiction writer Francis Spufford, that won the first unique category for his launching, Golden Hillside Barry had routed Carew as the favourite to succeed, along with odds from 5-2. That's due to the fact that nothing in the carmaker's history would certainly propose it could possibly go off bring in woefully outdated, quasi-luxury senior citizen land-barges right into making a rear-wheel ride sports car efficient in entering the arena from BMW's M division or even Mercedes' AMG-- done in the span from a single auto's advancement pattern. Certain, enthusiasts of the book watched this and also may possess received some satisfaction from it, however the account, alonged with the god-awful dialogue, definitely performs make this movie a surprise to see, even though you can easily acknowledge exactly how poor this is actually. I possess no concept just how seriously guides are actually to become had, nor perform I ever aim on looking for that out, however this film is an outright blast to view, given that the conversation is fully outrageous. As a significant Margaret Atwood supporter, I was actually trying to find something more extensive, one thing more intricate as well as intricate, something above it turned out to be. After merely lately completing Oryx and also Crake, I was therefore eagerly anticipating the closure from that manual, however this only offered me a little glimpse right into the hookup of these pair of novels, as well as certainly not definitely till the actual end from the book. Last week, the Kentucky Republican politician achieved complaints that he had incorrectly lifted passages coming from Wikipedia to an uncertainty about attribution strategies and the destructive intent of misanthropes." However as even more suspiciously comparable movements arised, consisting of one in a September Washington Moments column that triggered the newspaper to put on hold Paul's weekly payments, Paul has actually been actually required to go on the offensive. Tolkien's manuals have been actually tempting to creations from adolescent boys, yet until Jackson's victorious triumvirate of films, all efforts to deliver Middle Earth and also its own hirsute occupants off the printed webpage had failed. Currently naturally I do not expect manuals to follow before family or even work yet this document demonstrates that reading for delight is an essential part from a balanced life. Congratulations on the effectiveness of your publication launch that your audiences recognized would take place. Just what we all cooperate popular-- exactly what I have actually spent the past a number of years consulting with moms and dads, teachers, as well as innovators around-- is actually the fact that develops the extremely primary of this particular book: Just what we understand concerns, yet that our experts are actually concerns much more. This manual permits you understand why some nations will definitely make believe to be our good friends as they stay in a world where you may not count on anyone-in a planet of abject hardship. At that time the book was created, Mr. Hitler was actually quickly on the rise in Germany. I really didn't enjoy this, and though it had wonderful Soccer video footage, it had not been sufficient to deliver a truly remarkable sporting activity dramatization. He states to be crazy however quickly shows his rebellious identity through testing authority in the ward with his impressive method to take control of. These facilities are striven certainly not merely at assisting folks manage swiftly, yet much more significantly to enjoy the sporting activity of managing while staying away from accident. Visit Website am actually a fellow writer at and also I most definitely are going to be back to find out more about your physical fitness write-ups as well!! So thrilled to read your book, just bought this coming from th UK. I'm not Vegetarian, however I attempt to eat a lot less Meat and also Daily record in my diet and also believe your recipes are impressive!! A 2013 survey by the young people research study agency Voxburner discovered that 62% from 16- to 24-year-olds preferred printing publications to digital books.

[vol-au-vending-machine]

tagged by @theyaremydivision I’m so sorry it has been so long since you tagged me in this! 

Name: Cat

Height: 5′1″

Star Sign: Libra

Middle Name: Frances

Put my music on shuffle, the first four songs that came up were:

Flanders and Swann- the Gnu Song

Ramin Djawadi- The Spoils of War (part 2)

Florence and the Machine- My Boy Builds Coffins

Lana Del Rey- Once Upon a Dream

Grab the book next to you and turn to page 23, what is line 17?:

"The answer is that the Rhine and Danube still constituted a frontier (no less real because not marked on the map) separating the ‘Romance’ peoples, who had lived under the Roman Empire, and whose language and social traditions were half Roman, from the descendants of the Teutonic ‘barbarians’”

(A 1920s lecture on the Renaissance)

Ever had a song/poem written about you?:

A poem my boyfriend wrote shortly after we became a couple.

When was the last time I played air guitar?:

Can’t remember. Even my air-musical instrument skills are terrible.

Who is your celebrity crush?:

I have so many omg. My girl crushes are Jennifer Lawrence and Sophie Turner (could I be any more mainstream?) but even though both of them are naturally blonde I find them more beautiful as a brunette and redhead respectively. Ben Mendelsohn. Aiden Gillen. Mads Mikkelsen is really popular but I don't find him attractive i’m sorry. Is it problematic to have a crush on Mark Gatiss? Like I respect he’s gay, obviously. Is it disrespectful to have a crush on PSH? I hope it isn’t cause I kinda love him to bits. 

I think fangirls have an unfair rep tbh, because often I’ve found we’re the biggest shippers of our celeb crushes with their significant others? Like we love seeing our crushes being cute and happy with their partner and family. We’re admiring, not jealous, of our crushes’ SOs.

Also my boyfriend isn't famous but he should be so he totally counts.

A sound I hate, and a sound I love?:

Pneumatic drilling. Obviously nobody (at least, nobody sane) likes the sound of drilling, but the way it makes everything near it rattle makes it a special uuurrrghhha for me. At boarding school, there was drilling outside my window one night, at 11PM. The windows rattled. 

I have never been so close to actual murder in my life.

The cooing of wood pigeons. They sound the same wherever you are and every time I hear them I’m brought back to the garden of the house where I grew up. The moment I hear wood pigeons I feel a little bit peaceful.

Do you believe in ghosts?:

No. Then again, I’m writing this in broad daylight in my living room, at 2:15 in the afternoon. Come back to me when there are spooky shadows in my room at 3am.

How about aliens?:

Yes, but there’s this assumption we have that aliens want to make contact with us?? They want to invade or they want to be friends. There’s never the possibility they could be indifferent towards us

I think they might be really misanthropic aliens who couldn’t care less about us and want to be left alone basically aliens that are me. 

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?:

I have a provisional driving licence which means you should only get in my car if it’s the apocalypse or you’re critically ill and it’s likely death vs certain death. I’ve never driven at a speed higher than 8mph. 

The last book I read?:

The Song of Roland.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?:

Yes. Especially as a kid. I thought it was just me being weird. 

What was the last movie I saw?:

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. I’m now only 3 movies away from having seen every single James Bond.

Do you have any obsessions right now?:

I wish I was obsessed with my studies so doing them would be easier.

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?:

Depends on how big the wrong and what they’ve done since. Generally I’m too lazy to expend energy on holding grudges, but if someone’s really awful, the best revenge is always to cut them out and not think about them ever, because that requires minimal effort. Kinda like that meme? “I hate you.” “I don’t think about you at all.”

In a relationship?:

I am :)

Basically any of my followers want to do this you can :) I tag all of y’all

[neillien]

Sidal Vassoon

With no money spare for visits to the barber's or a hairdresser for the girls; we organised the job ourselves.

We grew-up in an extended family of aunts who weren't our flesh and blood.

These women they were mum's friends. They were resourceful friends.

And our neighbours. Adults we grew to trust.

We lived where everyone knew something disclosable about someone else.

June, next door: we knew she owned a set of hairdressing scissors. A good set manufactured at Wilkinson Sword. Premium stainless-steel scissors, kept in pristine condition.

Sharp as kangaroo incisors, she'd brag. Cut ya dick off like that.

Every eight to nine weeks or so, me and my two sisters were sent in succession of age, round to Junes for a trim. Being the youngest of three,

I am always last to attend.

Often intentionally June worries me with weird cursing back into nothing! She tells me how horror exists. Her 'in detail' news stories from around the world of cruelty, murder, violent molestation, kidnap are things I'm clearly kept protected from at home

and school.

It's ironic but I'm frightened by June the most not the sick stories she tells. June pretends she is clairvoyant. She over animates and talks about evil with despicable levity.

Today she is being a bitch.

June looks like she's losing the plot. The plot not of her stories but of herself.

Lord only knows why she revels in this morbid charade, but she does.

June laughs. Cutting the air, snip, snip, snip. Menacing me. Cutting closer, closer to me sat at will on a hardback chair in the middle of the kitchen floor. …

Am I sanctioned for execution? In June's hands a pair of scissors can suddenly look obnoxious.

In June's hands scissors are lethal weapons they cut oxygen out of thin air,

can't breathe

witch dance

heralding

a dirty presage

an unfair censorship

on me.

snip, snip, snip. I will never watch Edward Scissorhands, again.

[ I promise ].

Trapped, worried June will cut off my boy-tiddler and serve it to me burnt, squashed through a sieve, and not served properly on a plate. June will definitely make me eat my dick whist she perforates my eyes with stainless-steel scissor blades.

[But if that doesn't happen. I will get a perfectly symmetrical fringe, a short back, and sides.]

With no money spare for visits to the hairdresser; we'll organise the job ourselves.

June, next door: she owns a set of hairdressing scissors, doesn't she? A good pair, made from a Cavalier's old sword. Sharp with piranha teeth on the kill edge.

Big as a bull's dick, she brags. Stuff it in your throat till ya bleed.

Eight weeks out of nine or so, me and my sisters are sent in succession of age, round to Junes for a trim. Being the eldest of three,

I am always first to attend.

Often intentionally June excites me; tells

I'm fascinated by how much horror exists. And June is just as morbid. She regales horrific news stories that I'm clearly kept protected from at home

and school.

It's true I'm not frightened by ghosts because June is clairvoyant, she performs for and talks for the dead.

Today we are receiving a new guest! I bite my lip in anticipation, it excites me when June announces new arrivals. I don't know what to expect.

Sometimes her celestials were despicable earth people. Their spirits now are burdened by remorse. Sometimes not. Those that are not are mangled, misanthropic interpretations of their violent pasts, but June can charm them. She even takes in child murderers.

June's home is open to all wayfarers.

Today she is being a reserved.

June doesn't feel like loosing herself to madmen. The plot is one of June's own stories, a little white lie about herself.

June laughs.

she doesn't cut hair professionally anymore. Too out of practise, she says. Which isn't encouraging news when you are sat at will on a hardback chair in the middle of her kitchen floor.

snip, snip, snip. Tiny cuttings of my blonde hair fall in flusters like ice spicules, they remind me of the wistful snow scene in Edward Scissorhands.

Suddenly in June's hands, scissors are a wand, and June a Godmother who will grant me any wish my heart desires. …

I am so bored

trapped, wishing June would cut off my boy-tiddler and serve it to me on a plate, make me eat it like it were placenta to nourish me and the child I have given birth to myself as a a girl.

[But if that doesn't happen. I will get a perfectly symmetrical fringe, a short back, and sides].

Upon reflection, I'm glad I don't flinch. I barely blink. June thinks me pussy enough as it is, and I want to convince June I am the cat killer, the one terrorising the neighbourhood, slaughtering defenceless pets. To convince her that the boy with a fresh haircut in the mirror is a devil not me.

But I can't because I like June best when she isn't herself.

And then, just like that. One day while we are at school. June's flat caught fire. There was much talk and speculation. Faulty electricals, neglect, poor housing management. … Alcohol.

June was never the same since she lost her baby, that's what the adults said. I didn't even know June had had a baby, but apparently she had and lost it.

All the certificates June trained hard for and collected, qualifying for a hairdressing diploma in styling, colouring, perming. All up in flames! And the Wilkinson Sword scissors, regretfully as my sister Tina observed, will - languish fossil-like in their melted polythene protector amid the burnt-out debris. What a waste.

June never returned to her refurbished flat.

A professional set of scissors were the holy grail of home hair craft - something mum could not afford, nor the expense of haircuts at a barbers for me or a stylist for the girls.

Nothing for it, Mum decided she herself would cut our hair.

Making-do with a pair of bunt-edged blades, crisscrossing diagonally, feathering away and thinning out our double-crowns, making an unsurprisingly bad job of it too; but undeterred, mum grew in confidence, got happy with her scissors.

Photographs, particularly school photographs from that era are testament to the embarrassing lop-sided unpretentious look, mum created for her startled-face children, hereditarily stuck in their –

horror at first sight, mirror.

[redditnosleep]

I Went Hiking With My Class. It Didn’t End Well.

by PocketOxford

I never wanted to go on that stupid hike in the first place.

Yet there I was, hiking “cabin to cabin” in the Norwegian mountains, with my class.

Wohoo, right? For a misanthropic misfit like myself, it was a nightmare. Let’s just say I do best behind my computer, talking to people over a microphone, not actually having to make eye contact. I tried getting out of it, but my parents weren’t having it. They thought the fresh air would do me good. Let me assure you, it did not.

The first two days went mostly as expected, me at the very back of the group, one of the chaperones occasionally trying to make awkward small talk and half-hearted encouragements, and my classmates largely ignoring me. Surprisingly, the hiking was actually almost enjoyable. The scenery was breathtaking. Misshapen, warped birch trees were scattered over the yellowing grass, and the browning heather. Mountains rose on both sides, looming ominously. I thought I could even have liked it, if only my classmates weren't.

Like this I somehow made it to day three. By the end of it I was lagging pretty far behind. The amount of physical activity was far higher than what I was used to, and it started getting to me. When I finally spotted the last cabin, the sun had set, and we were hiking by that gloomy, blue half-light that lingers after the northern sun sets. It looked huge, imposing in the distance. The cabin, actually, was a set of cabins, a campground, and a rather large main house. I’d bet it could house a hundred people if it had to. It looked out of place, there, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the mountains.

By the time we finally got there, the rest of the group had eaten dinner, and were hanging out in common area. I got to eat with the teacher who had to hang back to make sure the rear - i.e. me – made it all the way, which is how I learned that the place was closed for the season, so only our group of 30 or so teenagers were sleeping there. Our teacher knew the people who ran it; he had organized it so that they’d just drive in with food for us, and leave us to it. So there we were, about thirty kids, two teachers, and the vast, empty space of the mountains and valleys.

I didn’t want to interact with the others, and I wanted to be asleep – or believably pretending to be asleep - when the rest of the guys I’d share my room with went to bed. I was exhausted, a little embarrassed by how slow I had been, and, as it turned out, completely without a cell signal, so staying up had nothing for me. I headed straight to my room and promptly fell asleep.

In the middle of the night I woke up in a panic. The room was pitch black. Usually our rooms weren’t that dark, these places never managed to keep the light out completely. Light would seep through from the hallway, the moon would shine through a gap in the curtains, some red light would be blinking on some appliance. Something would pierce the darkness. But this one was pitch black.

I was sure someone was in the room. Standing above my bed. Looking at me. You know, one of those silly things you think of. My breath caught in my throat, my heart beat like crazy. I laid there for what felt like hours. Nothing happened. Of course nothing happened, I tried to talk myself down in my head. I was being silly, I was safe, there was just miles and miles of empty woods and hills around here where anything could be hiding, could have followed us, could have seen us, defenseless, alone, NO! You’re safe, don’t be silly. I wanted to turn on the light, but I didn’t want to piss the others off. But I really wanted to turn on a light. As a sort of compromise I decided to go to the bathroom. It meant I could turn on the light in the hallway, and sneak a peek back into the room. I sat up, swung my legs off the side of the bed, and felt around for my shoes. I put them on, and snuck out the door, and flicked the switch in the hallway. I glanced back into the room. Nothing there, of course. I just had to make sure.

I walked down the hallway, until I found the bathroom. The air was freezing. Someone had left a window open. Hah, I thought, someone took a shit. Nice of them to air out, I guess. But when you leave a window open in Norway, in the mountains, in the middle of October, at night, it gets really, really cold. I did my business, and walked over to the window to close it. Not that I cared about those other idiots, they could freeze in the morning for all I cared, but still. You just don't leave windows open when it's cold out.

As I went to close it, I looked out the window and caught a glimpse of the night sky. It was covered in stars, and there, right above the nearest mountain, a vague, green blob was materializing. Northern lights? This far south? My heart almost stopped. I had never seen northern lights in my life. We hardly ever get them as far south as where I live. So I tiptoed back into my room, grabbed my phone and my coat, and headed out into the fall night. For a second I debated whether I should wake the guys. They’d probably love seeing the northern lights just as much as I would. Screw them, I decided. Not like they’d wake me up if the tables were turned.

Frost covered the ground, glittering in the strange green light from the sky. It was the northern lights. Not particularly strong, not very defined, but undeniable still. Nothing else turns the night sky green like that. I stood there, staring at the sky, freezing, for hours. The fear from earlier had completely gone. I stood there, so small, so insignificant, under the stars and the strange green light that flickered across the skies. Completely mesmerized.

Finally, my whole body started shaking, and I realized I was freezing. I had to go back inside, no matter how beautiful all this was.

My eyes had adjusted to the dim light from the outside, so I snuck down the corridor without turning the lights on. I knew the bright light would blind me, and I didn’t want to burn out the beautiful memories of the aurora to replace it with the grim, fluorescent light that lined the hallway. I used the light on my phone to identify my room, and, turning it off, snuck back into my warm bed and promptly fell asleep.

I woke up with a start, and groped around on the floor for my phone. 10.30, it read. Shit. I overslept. Breakfast was at 7.30, we were supposed to be hiking by 9. Shit shit shit. I jumped out of bed, almost hitting my head on the bunk above me. Why hadn’t anybody woken me up? The blinds were still down, the room was dark. I opened the door. The corridor outside was dark. The whole place was quiet. I flicked the light switch. The power was out. A chill ran down my spine. Was something wrong? The room was dead quiet. No snoring from the boys. I was clearly the only one there.

Questions trudged through my sludgy morning brain.

Was it some sort of prank? Leave the weirdo behind? But the teachers wouldn’t have gone along with it, would they? Did they forget about me? The slow burn of worry started in my gut. I was all alone in the wilderness. All that empty space. Wait, no, there was a road, I had my phone, someone could come get me. I wasn't lost, I was just forgotten. Actually, they probably hadn’t even left me behind, maybe there was a storm or something. Maybe the hike was cancelled. I yawned. Even if they had left me, it just meant that someone would have to come get me and I didn’t have to hike the last leg of the trip. Fine.

I grabbed my jacket, put my feet into my shoes, and set off to find some people or some food. Preferably both.

I was still half asleep as I shuffled into the dining room. I registered that it was also empty. Breakfast was clearly over, as the teachers had promised it would be. I was hungry, though. I crossed my fingers that I’d find some leftovers in the kitchen. I pushed open the door with the “staff only” sign, shuffled across the linoleum floor, opened the fridge, and, to my delight, found it still full. The pantry as well. I made myself a sandwich and my mood improved considerably. I might be left behind, but I was left behind with food. It wasn’t all bad.

I munched on my sandwich while considering what to do next. I went to make a second one when it occurred to me that there was a lot of food there. Like, too much. This was all the food we would have needed for the breakfast. The others hadn’t eaten? The uneasy feeling came back. Why would they have left without eating? It made no sense. Unless something had happened. Again I thought of the vast wilderness, of the lonely road, of everything that could be hiding in the mountains. In the house. In the rooms. God, no. There were so many rooms, empty cabins, empty spaces, closed doors. Closed doors with god knows what behind them.

I should have checked the rooms. Why hadn’t that been my first move?

Because I didn’t want to. I thought of opening all those doors, finding them all empty. Or worse yet, not finding them empty. The fear started growing within me. I knew I had to do something, and do it before I was totally paralyzed by panic.

So I gathered all my courage, got to my feet, and left the kitchen. The sound of my steps rang out through the cavernous dining room. They seemed so much louder now. My heart was pounding by the time I tiptoed down the dark hallway. The only window was at the far end, and the sky was covered in clouds. It didn’t do very much to light up the corridor, and it did nothing for my fear. I found myself stopping outside my room. I already knew it was empty, but I still wanted to check there first. Maybe because I was so sure it was empty. It felt like a safe place to start. Or maybe because, deep down, I knew something was very, very wrong.

The blinds still kept the room completely dark, so I couldn’t see anything there. I crossed the room in two long strides. What little daylight seeped through the gray sky would still be a welcome friend in the quiet gloom.

I tugged at the string, and jumped a little as the sound of the curtain rolling up rang sharply throughout the empty room.

I turned around. To my great surprise, Peter, one of the guys, was lying in his bed opposite mine, clearly fast asleep. Relief flooded through me. I wasn't alone!

“Peter!” I croaked. I cleared my throat. “Peter!” I repeated a little louder.

No response.

It occurred to me that it made no sense that he was still here. There were so many reasons why he should not be asleep in his bed right now. And he looked oddly … still.

I took a step toward him.

“Peter…” I whispered, heart beating in my throat.

I reached out, grabbed his arm under the covers, and shook.

No response. He seemed totally dead.

The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Dead? No. No way. Absolutely not. He couldn't be. No. I forced my shaking hand towards his neck to feel for a pulse. My fingertips made contact with his icy skin, and I knew instantly. Dead. Nobody alive can be that cold. He had been dead for hours. My knees gave out under me, and I crashed to the floor. Peter was dead. Just lying there. Next to me. He had been dead this whole time. I had walked in and out of the room, I had eaten breakfast, I had … he had been dead the whole time. Oh god.

I vomited on the floor.

Somehow I made it to my feet. I had to check the other bunk. I had to find help. I couldn’t be here all alone with a corpse.

The other bunks weren’t empty either. The two other boys in the room were as cold and as dead as Peter.

I only remember bits and pieces from the next few hours. I recall running wildly down the hallway, tearing open doors. Not all of them were unlocked, but the ones that were revealed more dead bodies. Everyone. All the rooms. They were all stone cold dead. And I was all alone.

I think I screamed a lot, because my throat hurt like hell when I finally entered a sort of catatonic trance that could be construed as calming down. It could have just been the vomiting, though. I’m fairly sure it happened multiple times.

I was lying in a fetal position at the end of the hallway, outside my dead teachers’ room. I was shaking convulsively. I had no thought for my own safety, I had given no consideration to why they were dead. All I knew was that I was alone in a house full of dead people.

I don’t know what part of me kicked into gear, but finally it occurred to me that I should call the police. That’s what you’re supposed to do when people are dead. You call the police, and they take care of it. Except I didn’t have reception. The part of my brain that was still running some sort of script figured I should go for a high point. There was a hill behind the hostel. I grabbed my phone, and started hiking.

It took me exactly two hours and 37 minutes to get a single bar on my phone. At this point my battery was down to 4%, and my panic was back to about 97%. I typed 1-1-2 with shaking fingers, and prayed as the phone rang.

“No battery – send people to the – fuck, the ******** hut. They’re dead, they’re all dead, please please please-” I managed to yell to the operator before the phone died.

I shook the phone helplessly. I turned it back on. Light flickered across the screen, that stupid opening graphic. I frantically typed in my pin, pressed the phone icon, typed in 1-1-2, and watched the phone turn itself off.

I stared disbelievingly at the useless piece of technology in my hand. My only hope was that they'd gotten the message. Had I said the name clearly? Would they believe me? Did it sound like a prank call? I stood there until the sweat on my back chilled me to the bone, and I realized I needed to get moving. I wasn’t going back into that tomb, no way. I decided I would go back down, and follow the road.

And only then did it occur to me to wonder why they were dead. You’d think that’d be the first thing on my mind, but it wasn’t. Only at that moment, when I was freezing cold, my last piece of technology, my last avenue of communication gone, it occurred to me. What the hell had happened? Had someone – something – done this? Should I be dead too?

Should I hide?

I went over the morning in my head. If someone wanted me dead, I would have been. If someone had done this they were long gone. Unless… unless they left me alive on purpose. Unless they left me alone to watch me panic. To watch me run around in a panic. Someone who killed 30 people would enjoy that, wouldn’t they? The chase? The game?

No. I told myself firmly. That’s not it. I ran through a list of plausible explanations in my head. There was no blood, no signs of trauma. They looked like they had been poisoned, really. We all ate the same thing, though. But maybe it was something in the air. Wait, carbon monoxide poisoning? Yes. That could be it. No really, that made total sense. You hear these horror stories, right? Busted heater, whole family dead. Why not whole school class? Made much more sense than some crazed serial killer. Contrary to what all the Scandinavian noir crime novels will have you believe, Scandinavia does not have a lot of serial killers. And carbon monoxide poisoning happens. And I had spent hours outside last night. While the others were suffocating. Enjoying the beautiful lights. The lights that I didn’t tell them about...

Somewhat calmed by the rational explanation I turned to head back down. I made a deal with myself to go back past the hut, but that I didn’t have to head back inside. Just to follow the road until I hit the police or some sort of civilization. I turned back around, taking in the view from up on the hill for the first time.

And I got a good look at the hostel and the surrounding fields. And my perfectly rational explanation shattered along with my fragile sliver of calmness. Down there, in the fields surrounding the huts, I could clearly see a perfect circle of dead, brown grass. The main building, where we had slept, was at the very edge of it.

Which meant that where I had been standing last night was just outside of the circle. And inside the circle, everything was dead. I don’t think carbon monoxide can do that.

…

The police were there when I came back. I honestly don’t remember the details of what happened next. I doubt they would be interesting anyway.

Two things you should know though.

One: They said it was carbon monoxide poisoning. That I had somehow escaped because I was outside. Nobody said anything about the circle, not ever. When I asked I was told to drop it. That grass sometimes dies.

Two: The northern lights had not been visible that far south that night. In fact, they hadn’t been visible anywhere on mainland Norway for weeks.

So what the hell happened that night?