#our illnesses are real and valid

[hot-on-my-watch]

Heaven help me I've fallen down a rabbit hole of looking at different artists' interpretations of 221 Baker Street (again) and I'm internally in hysterics over this completely gorgeous one of Flat B:

My life's mission is now to locate Stephanie of Fox and Chicken and ask her what she meant by "kitchen"! I'm dying!

The airquotes on that room only! Brilliant!

Edit: I've only just noticed the door from the outer hallway to the kitchen. I'm not disputing it because frankly I haven't paid enough attention but will be investigating further!

[collgeruledzebra]

been a while since ive had a spell of anxiety bad enough i genuinely can't tell how much im overreacting

[tommy-h-bff]

joining another fandom is remembering how I fumbled the ball in the previous one and I gotta breathe so deeply through my nose like I won't fuck it up this time

[piastappies]

would you maybe write an smau (oscar x norris or leclerc!reader) where the reader is just super clumsy and everyone makes fun of that?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 SUCH A KLUTZ ! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ

pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

summary. in which reader can’t walk straight to save her life and formula fans (as well as some of the drivers) find it extremely amusing, while her boyfriend is the greenest flag of all time.

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 89 623 others.

yourusername rumour has it that the best couple on grid is enjoying the summer break and the rumors are TRUE! though it is also said that the girl in third slide fell off the scooter and got a concussion so her boyfriend took her phone away for three days — this may or may not be true!

view all comments!

user1 oscar is so whipped the guy is the first like whenever she posts something 😭😭

user2 i know ehic isnt a thing in monaco unfortunately but my other european girlies please remember to get yourself an ehic card if you travel across europe it can save you a lot of nerves if you injury yourself on vacay 😭😭😭

priniya european girlies always remember to have a valid european health insurance card! <3

oscarpiastri she might say its not true but it is 👎👎 the girl almost gave me a heart attack

landonorris yourusername someone should lock you up because at this rate youre gonna hurt yourself by breathing

yourusername im having a brat summer ☹️

arthur_leclerc dont think its how it works lutin

francisca.cgomes rumour has it that she didn’t take her girlfriend with her to her trip

lilymhe rumour has it that she broke her other girlfriend’s heart

yourusername NOOOO IM SORRY 😭😭😭 LET ME MAKE IT UP WHEN THE BREAK ENDS

marverstappen1 girl how do you even function with that clumsy brain of yours?

yourusername kellypiquet please tell p that max is making fun of me because i got hurt

kellypiquet she’s making you a card rn

maxverstappen1 our house turned into a glitterlandia because of that card

yourusername I LOVE HER SO MUCH

user3 i honestly cant wait for the pyn reunion in zandvoort 🥹🥹🥹

yourusername same shes my true one 👊👊

charles_leclerc oscarpiastri take your aussie hands off my baby sister or ill crash into you in zandvoort 😁

charles_leclerc for legal purpose this may or may not be a joke

yourusername crash into him and i’ll do something worse than have his hands on me and make you watch

francisca.cgomes

liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and 432 621 others.

francisca.cgomes a girls night gone wrong…

— tagged alexandrasaintmleux, yourusername

view all comments!

user4 i bet my LIFE that yn had to go to the er 😭😭😭

pierregasly THIS is what you meant by a surprise??????

francisca.cgomes surprise . . . 😦

alexandrasaintmleux it was fun while it lasted . . .

user5 WHY DOES THE COMMENTS SEEM LIKE YN DIED WHERE IS HER COMMENT

user6 yn rn 💀🪦🪦

user7 you are not funny! hope that helps ❤️

charles_leclerc girl where is my sister 😭😭😭😭

yourusername WHY ARE YALL ACTING LIKE I DIED?????

user8 SHES ALIVE YOU GUYS

oscarpiastri kika you were supposed to bring her back in one piece?

francisca.cgomes sorry it was not my fault

francisca.cgomes literally not my fault this time a guy bumped into her shoulder and she fell 😭😭😭

yourusername i sprained my ankle :(

alexandrasaintmleux we still love you 🫶

user9 ngl i would give my leg to be a part of this friendship

user10 same

landonorris petition to keep yourusername locked in a cage

user11 😧😧😧

yourusername you gotta catch me first 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

pierregasly i second this

lilymhe i third

alexandrasaintmleux ily yn but i fourth ☹️

twitter !

user13 WHEN ITS GONNA BE MY TURN???

user14 i need an oscar in my life but idk if i wanna be yn 😭

user15 you r so real for that oomf

user16 ngl i wish i could be oscar to be with yn

user17 god just knew that if she made yn flawless she would be too much for mortals

user18 she ?

user17 god is a woman and her name is pascale leclerc 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

user19 LMAO

lando.jpg

liked by alex_albon, yourusername, logansargeant and 772 812 others.

lando.jpg never accept an invitation from yourusername for a dinner at her house because there’s a 100% chance she’s gonna burn herself while making you food

view all comments!

oscarpiastri shouldnt have invited YOU

lando.jpg ??? MEAN ???

oscarpiastri dont make fun of my clumsy girlfriend

yourusername when he’s protective ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

yourusername i burnt myself while YOU ALL WERE LAUGHING

user20 oscar was laughing too?😭

arthur_leclerc he was glaring at everyone laughing while looking after yn

user21 oscar is the bestest boyfriend possible i need an oscar in my life

user22 yourusername can you fight?

yourusername i have three older brothers, go figure it out

user22 (｡•́︿•̀｡)

charles_leclerc cant believe they didn’t invite ME and they invited YOU

arthur_leclerc she invited me and enzo LOL

user23 lando.jpg comeback to make fun of oscars gf 😭😭😭

charles_leclerc SHE WAS MY SISTER FIRST

user24 yn is a klutz first human second

oscarpiastri

liked by pascale_leclerc, nicolepiastri, yourusername and 921 728 others.

oscarpiasti a few things that summer break gave me: a dog (yes, i’m officially a dog dad), relaxing time with my friends n family, a fiancée and lots of headaches due to the clumsiness of my gorgeous fiancée.

view all comments!

yourusername i love youuuuuu

hattiepiastri THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT???

hattiepiastri yourusername YOURE MARRYING MY BROTHER????

hattiepiastri HOW DID THAT HAPPEN??

yourusername i flipped a coin

georgerussell63 it probably hit you in the face too, no?

user25 IMAGINE THE FAMILY GATHERINGS???

user26 hold on is oscar gonna go there as charles’ son or yn’s throphy husband??

user27 the family dynamics must be crazy??? because wdym his girlfriend’s brother ADOPTED him??

oscarpiasti fiancee’s*

user27 oh hes not playing

user28 this gon be soooo awkward at the family dinner

yourusername BURN THE PAPERS charles_leclerc HES MINE NOW

charles_leclerc HE WAS MINE FIRST

nicolepiastri i’m pretty sure he was mine first 🥰

pascale_leclerc now we have to share children nicolepiastri

landonorris love you guys but you shouldn’t have a wedding because with yns abilities she might turn the party into a funeral

mclaren so glad to have yn in the mclaren family! 🧡

user29 engagement this engagement that we KNEW you would tie the knot sooner or later WHAT IS THE DOGS NAME 🗣️🗣️🗣️

oscarpiastri pepper :)

user30 yn and lorenzo both engaged in 2024?? leclerc siblings are going STRONG

lewishamilton congratulations to you guys 💚💚

sebastianvettel lots of love and patience with that one, oscar :)

user31 not the girls not congratulating oscyn… fake friends?

user32 gtfo they prob knew abt it already and congratulated them IN PERSON and not in instagram photo comments

francocolapinto lost my chance 😞😔😭😭😢

user33 LMAOOO??? bro saw her at ONE (1) race and fell in love

user34 honestly cant blame him

user35 pls never media train him

yourusername pls franco never change 🫶

pierregasly pls dont elope i need that free food

yukitsunoda0511 dude youre a MILLIONAIRE?

pierregasly dude gtfo

yukitsunoda0511 if i were them i would elope just to spite you

oscarpiastri dont give yn any ideas pls

yourusername no eloping for us i need my brothers to walk me down the aisle 😁😁😁

georgerussell63 to make sure you don’t trip over the dress?

yourusername youre officially uninvited 👎

user36 SHE WANTS CHARLES ENZO AND ARTHUR WALKING HER DOWN THE AISLE??? OH IM GONNA KILL MYSELF

[busket]

I notice sometimes in queer and feminist spaces the idea of "this group is generally given more leniency and privileges in wider society; it's okay for us to be critical or even a little nasty to them because anywhere else they'd be praised". and that's understandable, i think. when you have real issues with men and how men act, it's ok to express that and to mock mens behavior. cis men who are generally praised and celebrated in society should be able to take some mean jokes or criticisms and accept they're not always going to be lauded.

but since queer and feminist spaces are generally more accepting of trans people and the wider society is not, this is also projected on to trans men. "trans men are men" was an affirming statement to our validity, but that was interpreted as "since trans men are men, and men are celebrated by society, I get to be a little nasty to them because the rest of society worships men. they can take it."

but the rest of society doesn't have that same level of trans acceptance. they don't see trans men as men, they see trans men as mentally ill, broken, mutilated women. so it's absolutely aggravating when we turn to queer and feminist spaces for solidarity, we face the same reactive nastiness cis men get and are told "come on, trans men are men. you are celebrated in society. you can take it." and when we look at the rest of society there's no celebration. there's only more nastiness and cruelty. so how can we "take it" when we have no community that accepts us and treats us without mockery? we don't have the shelter of acceptance that cis men have in the status quo, and sometimes we can't find a small umbrella of acceptance in queer communities either.

to be honest, I think a lot of people view trans men as a safe punching bag to vent their frustrations with men. you can mistreat a trans man and he's probably not going to fight you back since he's already so beat down. you can feel like you put a man in his place, you can feel like you're resisting the patriarchy. but all you did was act cruel to a marginalized person. and you know if you treated a cis man like that you might be putting yourself in danger, cos he might not take it lying down and he might not care as much about your wellbeing!

trans men are men, but trans men are not cis men. cis men are lauded and celebrated in society as long as they conform to the gender roles that were placed on them at birth. and this privilege is extremely conditional and not equally spread between men of different sexualities, races, ethnicities, ability, age, etc; trans men and intersex men are thrown to the side completely. I understand needing to vent about men. trans men do it too. but a persistent attitude of resentment and cruelty towards all men, including trans men, is not activism. all you do is push marginalized men out of the only communities they belong

[21stc3nturyd1gitalb0y]

people assume that being physically disabled makes you more empathetic to the pain of others, but that’s not always the case.

for me, it feels unfair when others are in pain and don’t feel the need to hide that fact, because i have internalized the idea that i’m not allowed to talk about my own. it annoys me that, while most are typically understanding if a non disabled person doesn’t operate at their full capacity due to sickness or injury, disabled people are expected to function normally as if that isn’t our every day. as much as i want to feel solidarity towards a suffering person, it feels impossible not to be envious when their illness or ailment is temporary, but i will never, ever get a break from mine.

for obvious reasons i would never say any of directly to someone, because my pain doesn’t make theirs any less valid or real. still, i can’t help but feel that my disability has made me bitter and unkind, because i can’t help but compare my own experiences with theirs.

this is the reality of disability- it does not create perfect people. many of us are broken and struggle to connect with others because of our conditions, and that does not mean we are evil people

[schizosupport]

I think there's a terrible catch 22 existing for mentally ill people, especially for those of us with psychosis, where diagnosis is necessary for many accommodations, treatment and resources - but diagnosis also puts you at serious risk of systemic oppression and loss of autonomy.

And while it should be considered a privilege not to have had a diagnosis forced on you, it's also pretty fucking wild to have to forego resources that could genuinely improve your life, because it puts you at risk of having your autonomy compromised.

People with diagnoses of the psychotic and schizo spec variety (especially schizophrenia and schizoaffective) are regularly denied things like transition-related healthcare and fertility related healthcare, not to mention we are at a much increased risk of having our children wrongfully removed. We regularly have our health-related concerns dismissed as delusional, which is thought to be a contributing factor to the lower life expectancy of schizophrenics. There's a number of jobs that you're not allowed to take if you have this type of a diagnosis, and in many places, you have to jump through extra hoops for things like keeping a driver's license.

I'm not intending to fear-monger: I think many people affected by these symptoms/disorders are already well aware of the risks in their specific area of the world. But I think that people who are so quick to judge self-identified psychotic individuals for not seeking out professional help and validation, need to consider the serious cost-benefit analysis that goes into this.

And I also think that bright-eyed individuals who seek out professional diagnosis mostly for the sake of validation need to stop and take some time to research whether this diagnosis is liable to come back to haunt them later in life, first. Because if it's just about the validation, I'm here to tell you that you do NOT need a psychiatrist's stamp of approval for your experiences to be real and worthy of support. You are welcome in this community, and I'm never going to judge anyone for choosing not to disclose their symptoms to a psychiatric authority.

[norrisainz33]

love story || gr63

☆ summary: a popular author publishes a new book and fans start to realize it might actually be telling a real life love story of her daughter and a certain driver! (very loosely based off striker by ana huang)

☆ pairing: george russell x reader

☆ fc & warnings: rashan mh & none

☆ requested: yesss thank you @sassyqueen-15 🫶🏻 sorry it took literally a million years 🥹

☆ a/n: y/m/n = your moms name and ymauthor = your moms insta!

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

ynuser has made a post

liked by ymauthor, georgerussell63, nicoleleano, lilymhe, judebellingham, and 78,924 others

ynuser: with love from new york!! mommas new book came out today!! this one is particularly special to me and ill let you guess why 😉

view all 213 comments

ymauthor: my gorgeous daughter! so glad you’re here celebrating with me 🤍😘

ynuser: 🩷🩷

user1: yayyyyy can’t wait to read it!

user2: that’s low key cryptic… guess why???? what you mean

user4: there’s something fishy with that wording i just know it

user7: maybe she just particularly likes this book!

user2: user7 nahhh the wink says otherwise

georgerussell63: congrats ymauthor!!

user63: omg what are you doing here??

user3: my favorite influencer is in my city?!

user9: literally reading my copy rn and why do i feel like you’re the main character…..

user10: running to read it rn. trust! we will get to the bottom of this.

ynuser has posted to their story

view all story replies

user9: ok y/n i’m here with my theory. YOU are the main character in your moms book. no freaking doubt. others may forget that you’re a ballerina at heart and that modeling and influencing came second but i didn’t!!! tho where my doubts come in is around WHO the man is……….. will report back when i figure it out

tommyhilfger: one of our favorite tommy girls!

user10: ok preppy goddess alert

ymauthor: love this look that they sent you!

ynuser: me too! i didnt expect them to be so quick to work with me but i guess thats just the impact he has 🥹

ymauthor: not all him! don’t sell yourself short 🤍

georgerussell63: 👀

ynuser: 🤭

yourbff: body is tea

ynuser: ☕️

user12: are you gonna tell us what you meant by that caption the other day or are you gonna leave us to our own devices ?

ynuser has made a post

liked by georgerussell63, yourbff, tommyhilfger, lewishamilton, jackhughes, and 86,234 others

ynuser: come spend the month with me ✨

view all 322 comments

user2: so she is a ballerina …. much like the main character in her moms book… noticing things

ymauthor: 🤍🩰

user12: i’m sorry are yall not seeing the lewis hamilton and george russell in the likes right now what is happening

user3: also jack hughes and ruben dias………

user9: ok so what i’m hearing here is that one of these men is the man from the book bc it’s a sports man opposite her

user12: i’m beginning to think your theory has some validity to it user9

user13: wait are any of you f1 girlies??? alexandra is also here if yall know her

user9: which could mean nothing but…

user10: ok but guys which one of them do we think is most likely to have been sentenced to learning ballet as a workout?!

user9: my moneys on george

user12: idk i could see jack but i think that’s bc i just finished icebreaker

yourbff: the prettiest girl in the world 🥹

ynuser: that’s you gorgeous

user9: WAIT IS THAT A MANS HAND IN THE LAST SLIDE

georgerussell63 posted to his story

view all story replies

alex_albon: ooooo this is the subtlest of subtle soft launches

georgerussell63: i’ve gotten good at it. only been soft launching for like 2 years now

alex_albon: the fact that you have been able to keep your private life private for so long is truly impressive

georgerussell63: hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it

ynuser: you outdid yourself with these 💐🤍

georgerussell63: only the best for the best girl 🤍

user9: hello mr russell - thank you for feeding the flames of my theory!! to twitter i go

landonorris: are these for you or a certain girly you’ve been keeping from us???

georgerussell63: a certain girl but you’ll be meeting her real soon mate 🤫

user12: oh he’s posting flowers now….

mercedesamgf1: all things are set for vegas for their visit!! p.s beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl

georgerussell63: thank you admin! see you soon 🫶🏻

ynuser posted their story

view all story replies

yourbff: ugh this looks incredible! i hope you have the best time

ynuser: thank you bb! mom and i are already having a blast 🫶🏻🥹

user9: the scream i just let out. you are in vegas!!!! f1 is in vegas!!!!

georgerussell63: that’s quite the spread! i can’t wait to see you later

ynuser: merc is currently spoiling us!! i’m counting down the minutes till i see you 😘

user12: i think user9 was right after all

mercedesamgf1: hope you enjoy!

ynuser: thank you for everything admin 🫶🏻

user14: fancy fancy

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, and 12,463 others

f1gossip: well known author, y/m/n and her daughter y/n y/l/n made an appearance in the vegas paddock today. our very own, george russell, was seen taking the mother daughter duo on a tour of the paddock and introduced them to quite a few people including other drivers like lando norris. this is quite unusual behavior for drivers and celebrities that are purely guests of the team which has caught our attention. he seems to be treating her much differently than a typical guest - could there be something going on between these two?

view all 102 comments

user8: the merc admin posted a video of him giving y/n his hat and idk the way he was looking at her did not give casual energy

user24: it did not!!! the was he looked at her was not subtle and totally full of adoration

user6: y’all must be running out of gossip if this is all you got

user44: i was in the paddock and i s2g i saw george kiss her on the cheek after quali

user16: wait yes i saw the same thing

user3: they could just be friends! remember that that is always an option guys!

user19: i love y/m/n and y/n this is a top tier cross over

user9: and when he wins and we get a celebration kiss as confirmation of their relationship … then what?

user12: then i’ll venmo you $63

user9: it’s a bet

user32: y/n getting the princess treatment she deserves

georgerussell63 has made a post

liked by mercedesamgf1, ynuser, alex_albon, ymauthor, landonorris, lewishamilton, and 543,194 others

georgerussell63: winning in vegas!! what a feeling 🏆 massive thank you to the entire team for all of their hard work and dedication this weekend! oh and thank you to my good luck charm who finally made it to a race 🤍😊

view all 743 comments

user74: RUS VEGAS

user82: p1 babyyyyy

ynuser: how lucky i am to have witnessed a george russell masterclass 😍 that’s my man 😩

georgerussell63: i had to put on a show for you 😘

user63: aint no way to be normal abt this

alex_albon: finally!! and uh cool win ig

user9: i just fell to my knees in a walmart parking lot

user9: user12 where is my $63?

user12: sending it now! i will never ever doubt your genius again

mercedesamgf1: congrats george 💪🏻

user88: yesss georgie!!

user9: whoa gf alert! warn a woman first jeez

ynuser has made a post

liked by ymauthor, georgerussell63, mercedesamgf1, yourbff, tommyhilfger, and 88,443 others

ynuser: thanks for reading the story of us ✨

view all 352 comments

ymauthor: thanks for letting me tell a version your story 🤍

ynuser: wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to do it 🫶🏻

user9: this is my proudest accomplishment

georgerussell63: i’m quite fond of our story 😘

ynuser: me too georgie 🤍

user19: can vroom vroom man fight?

user65: i have no one to tell abt this

mercedesamgf1: welcome to the family y/n🩵

user22: now THIS is my version of the royal family

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thank you for reading!!! likes and reblogs appreciated.

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[tritoch]

i have seen people be like "if you think what the dawntrail protagonists do in zone six is valid you have to conceded emet's approach/perspective was valid, what you do is basically what he does" and it's like...nah. it's obviously intentionally very similar ("it's like poetry, it rhymes") but there's some key differences:

emet is disgusted by sundered life, which he sees as inhuman, and longs to return to the unrecoverable past. so he does seven(ish) planet-wide genocides. the endless aren't new life, their ability to grow and learn is specifically in question (at the very least they are fundamentally incapable of taking in new sensory experience of certain forms), they're shades from the unrecoverable past, and you are destroying them in favor of those still alive.

also, we aren't disgusted by them nor do we think anything is fundamentally justified if done to them (everyone pretty much no-sells cahciua "we aren't alive so it doesn't matter if you kill us :)," in fact). we don't have like 12,000 years and the most advanced magic known to anyone alive. we are forced by serious exigency to destroy them due to a political impasse with their leadership's policy re: resource extraction. this tonal difference is in fact extremely important.

the endless themselves seem pretty ambivalent about the whole deal. they're bored or they're wary of the way their world keeps shrinking, and it's very explicitly neither a functioning society by any recognizable human terms nor a paradise.

related to the above, basically every named endless turns to the person most relevant to them (cahciua to erenville, krile's parents to her, namikka to wuk lamat, otis to you) and is like, huh, i really appreciate having this moment of grace at the end of my journey to see that it was all worthwhile and to resolve my lasting regrets, but i understand what you're here to do and yeah, it's probably time for us to go. (does the writing put a finger on the scale by doing this? sure, but the writers also designed and built the scales and everything they're weighing on them, so i find it hard to discredit any one aspect for being the writers' invention.)

finally uh no one in the party has kids with the endless or lives a full human lifetime as one of them lol.

it's important to remember that emet was definitely at least somewhat lying about not seeing the sundered as real people. the fact that he has "lived a thousand thousand of your lives . . . broken bread with you, fought with you, grown ill, grown old, sired children and yes, welcomed death’s sweet embrace" makes everything he did soooooo much crazier than what you do. if i managed to convince an endless to fall in love with me and i had a kid with them and i loved that kid so much that their death threw me into a permanent grief spiral then like. yeah i guess i would have to be like "well hats off to emet, folks." but luckily the game doesn't make you do that.

even if you insist everyone in living memory was a full living person that we killed, you're still weighing like a city of people versus 7+ planet-wide mass murders. you do not under any circumstances got to hand it to him.

living memory absolutely is evocative of everything that happens in shadowbringers. but rather than placing us in emet's shoes, it forces us to relive what we already did, to really fully face up to what we have done by promising to remember emet's culture after destroying any chance of its return. after two games going hard on the hope part of the game's central theme of hope arising from grief, now we're doing grief. we are forced to see the past of our memories not as a cold, ghostly art deco cubus-plagued socratic method hellscape but as the most beautiful technicolor theme park where everyone's happy and no one's sad and there's parades every day and your parents are alive and they love you so much. and then the game's conclusion is, yeah, you were still right to let go. in fact, you were and are morally obliged to let go. the living were and are worth more than the dead. our grief in letting go of them may be immense and turns our world to bleak nothingness for a time, and that is important to recognize, but at the end of the day our most pressing duty is to those we can yet save, not those we have lost.

[burnt-by-marigolds]

Why I think it's important that Astarion embraces the shadows

You know it's funny, at first I thought I was trapped by the shadows – cursed to live in them forever. But in time, I realised that darkness is as much a part of me as my fangs. This is only a curse as long as I refuse to embrace the shadows. So I decided I would.

I love how the choice between ascending and forgoing the ritual is designed: ascension grants an immediate reward (and thus presents an alluring temptation), but requires mass slaughter; letting go of the power comes at a personal cost, but saves lives and gives victims a second chance. If it was any other way, there would be no story in this choice; no dilemma, no conflict, nothing memorable.

I also think it’s crucial how in the spawn route, we see Astarion not only in high spirits (When I look at my future, anything and everything feels possible now), but also grieving. While he doesn’t regret his choice, he does feel sorry for his personal loss – which is natural and valid. And while I love that we can promise him to look for another way to walk in the sun again (after all, the Forgotten Realms are full of wonders – and the whole Multiverse even moreso), I also consider the narrative of him coming to terms with his condition (without giving up hope) much more real – and very important, at least to me.

I’d like to talk about two layers here: the more literal one, and the more metaphorical one.

The more literal one is pretty straightforward: we all have our limits in life. Some of them, we’re born with; some come up along the way; and other still are forced onto us. My first thought is neurodivergency or chronic illnesses, but I’m sure other people can name many more examples. You take medications or you go to therapy (pursuing the sun), but at the same time you just have to accept these things are a part of your reality, beyond your control. 

The more metaphorical layer makes me think of the Jungian shadow.

As some of you probably know, the Jungian shadow is the suppressed part of the psyche. It’s the facts about ourselves that are too painful or uncomfortable to acknowledge, facts we are unaware of, or facts we don’t like about ourselves and associate with shame. They make us behave in certain ways, often without us understanding why. And the more we sweep all of this under the rug of unconsciousness, the stronger the shadow becomes, constantly holding us back or making us repeat certain patterns (sometimes maladaptive) over and over.

(I’d like to emphasise that the shadow isn’t inherently “evil” – for example, we may suppress a trait or a behaviour because it’s culturally viewed as unacceptable, not because it’s objectively bad. The shadow is simply what lies uncovered, and may encompass useful and positive things as well.)

You probably already see where this is all going.

When Astarion says he has accepted the shadows as a part of him, he basically says he has learned to love himself just the way he is, without the need to become some better, idealised – and unattainable – version of himself. He has learned he is enough even with all the “less savoury” aspects – and it's clear it makes him feel free and more in control of his life.

Don’t hate me, but I think it’s more important than him literally walking in the sun. And let me reiterate – the point isn’t to forsake the sun entirely. Searching for it is an important endeavor – it symbolises making the word a better place. But I do believe accepting the shadow(s) is crucial to healing and an important first step towards any other goals.

This is who I am. In all my glory, for better and for worse.

[noodlesoup1819]

Day 7: Free Space - Undiagnosed Ranpo & Worried Dad Fukuzawa

For this day I was trying to do something with undiagnosed disability/ chronic illness. I think that most of us have had a time in our lives where we didn't understand what's going on and just wish someone would see what we're going through.

If you yourself are at a point in your disability journey without a diagnosis, please know your experiences are real and valid. Whether you have a diagnosis or not. And I wish all of you luck in your journeys moving forward <3

(Note: This is the first time I've done alt text for something this big, so if you have any revisions or better alt text please feel free to send them my way!!)

[utilitycaster]

I really like Taliesin elaborating on the inspiration from the 90s LA punk scene, in which he said a lot of the people he knew were just people looking for hope in a world that has been incredibly unfair to them. It's a very empathetic view towards people who, as he said, often are dealing with injustice and disadvantages.

He also mentions that many of these punks were dealing with drug and alcohol problems (and while he did not want that to be central to Ashton's character and wanted to focus instead on chronic pain for a number of reasons, including personal, Ashton definitely relies on alcohol for palliative reasons). More generally, we see Ashton look for hope and answers in a lot of places that end up being extremely incorrect. The most obvious one is with the shard of Rau'shan, which, after multiple people advised them against taking it with very clear warnings, they decided to still attempt to absorb, with nearly-fatal results; but there were flashes of this with their earlier cynicism towards Eshteross vs. a much more begrudging acceptance of the transactional worldview of Ratanish or Jiana Hexum.

Ashton often places his own pain in a position of honor, and in doing so can discount that of other people. He's been remarkably unlucky, to be clear; I think that's part of it. We as the audience know that their statement that no one in that room has felt helpless in their lives is demonstrably false about pretty much all of Vox Machina and their allies, as well as the Bright Queen. He says Keyleth maybe does know, not realizing that of Keyleth and Vex, one has been a homeless runaway rather like himself, and it's not the one he's saying knows helplessness. In a way, to hold on to that hope, they find themselves telling themselves a lot of lies because otherwise they have to face the truth that their suffering did not make them more qualified or better; it was just unfair and it might still keep happening. He blames the gods because then at least there's a reason and not just absolutely random chance that he was born to a self-important cultist, happened to survive a long-shot ill-advised ritual and wake up in the desert of another continent, happened to be the one thrown out the window of Hexum Manor, and happened to be saved with a Potion of Possibility. To be clear, they've since made a name for themself on their own merits, but a lot of who they are, both in terms of the traumatic and difficult elements and in terms of what now makes them special was dumb luck, good or bad.

For Ashton, for those LA punks Taliesin knew, for the Vanguard and for Ludinus and for countless people in Exandria and in our actual world, a lot of grasping for hope becomes grasping for a meaning for pain and suffering. I'd argue that this is a pretty major theme Taliesin explores with all his characters. However, just because the pain is real doesn't mean the conclusions one comes to as a result of it are inviolate and above reproach. It is possible to have extremely valid pain and trauma and to be incredibly wrong about its source or what it means, or to deal with it in ways that will either make it worse or that will inflict pain, even inadvertently, on others. And I think the theme of the campaign is very much that; what happens when someone either chooses to or must let the decisions they made to deal with a moment - or a life - of pain be writ large on both themselves and the world?

[borathae]

Make It Better | KTH x f.Reader

“You are having one of those days where you feel like the ugliest, most appalling person to ever exist. Taehyung wants to do everything in his power to make you see how beautiful you actually are.”

Pairing: Taehyung x f.Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Comfort, Fluff

Warnings: kinda body dysphoria because she sees flaws and "ugly spots" where there are none yk, just in general insecurities, Tae being the most loving and caring and understanding boyfriend ever, he makes her feel good again, omfg i love him so much

Wordcount: 1.5k

a/n: is this once again self-indulgent cause i'm going through it lately? Yes. JSJSJS somebody help, Tae help. no but seriously, i hope this can cheer up anyone who is having one of those days <3 we are all baddies eventhough our minds wanna tell us otherwise 💜

Taehyung is drawn to your clothing room because of sniffles and frustrated huffs.

The door is ajar and music is playing, but you have your back turned to him. The floors and surfaces are covered in pieces of clothing. You are in nothing but your underwear, currently standing in front of the mirror and poking parts of your body as if disgusted by them.

He knocks gently so as not to startle you.

“Darling, do not frighten. It is me. I heard sniffles and I wanted to check on you. Is everything alright?”

You turn, giving view to your reddened eyes and runny nose.

“No, I’m weird and disgusting and the ugliest person to ever exist.”

“Excuse me? No, you are not. Darling”, Taehyung gasps and closes the distance in big stomps. He takes your hands. “What madness are you spouting? You are neither ugly nor disgusting. Why would you say this about yourself?”

“I feel so ugly.”

“Well, just because you feel like it, does not mean that you are.” He wipes your tears. “You are so beautiful and pretty.”

“Thanks, yeah. I just can’t see it right now. I don’t feel good about myself. I feel like my face is weird and my hair is always either too greasy or too frizzy and my body is shaped weird and my boobs are never boobying like other boobs do.”

“Oh goodness, this isn’t the truth at all.” He shakes his head. “Your face is beautiful, your hair is beautiful, the shape of your body is perfect and your breasts are very much boobying correctly.” 

A small smile curls your lips. 

“Thanks. Can I get a hug?”

“Of course you can get a hug, my darling”, Taehyung says and pulls you against his chest.

One must know that Taehyung has developed a love for working out. Lifting weights to be more exact. Which means that his chest and arms have grown rather impressively. This is important to mention because with his new physique, his hugs feel especially safe and healing. You feel protected and supported and overall like he is your strong man to lean on.

“Can I have a squeeze?”

Taehyung squeezes you gently, rubbing your back as he does. 

You sigh in relief, sinking deeper into his embrace.

“Tae, I don’t like when I feel like this”, you mumble into him while he listens and rubs your back, “I’m pretty sure it’s just my hormones or the moon phase and I’m just being dramatic, but it’s still real right now and it makes me feel bad.”

“Of course it does and hormonal changes aren’t to be taken lightly. You aren’t dramatic, my darling, your feelings are valid no matter if they are of hormonal origin or not.” 

“Thank you for saying this. I needed validation that I’m not just a crazy woman.”

“Don’t do that. Woman is not an insult. Goodness, you are truly speaking nonsense today”, he says and pats your butt, “I shall spank your butt for being mean to yourself and women.”

You snicker, looking into his eyes. He smiles sweetly, all while his hand gives your butt the softest of pats. 

“Bad girl, do not speak ill of your gender”, he scolds you jokingly.

“I deserve that, I agree.”

“Indeed. Just as you deserve this”, he says and smooches your cheeks. “Mwuah. For being pretty and very beautiful. Mwuah.”

You giggle, chasing his affection. He meets your eyes, gazing and smiling. It lasts just a few seconds and then frustration fills your chest again.

“Urgh Tae, I don’t like how I feel. Urgh”, you say and drop your head against him, “I don’t know if I can go on the date tomorrow. I don’t know what to wear. I feel so ugly and I’m at my limit.”

“Goodness, I hate to see you this way. Shall I help you?”

“Help me?”

“Yes. You shall sit by the powder table and I shall pick out an outfit which will make you feel pretty again.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah I’d like that.”

“Very good then. Sit, my darling and I will find you an outfit.” 

He hurries around the room for a bit and returns with a skirt and sweater look. He helps you put it on, explaining why he chose this look as he works on getting the folds right.

“I chose this because the sweater sits very nicely around your breasts. Look at them. They are very booby in it.”

You snicker, agreeing with a shy nod. He is not wrong. They sit very nicely. 

“And I combined the skirt with it because when I ask you to dance in the park, it will move prettily.”

“So you’ll ask me to dance?”

“Of course I will.” He says and slides his hand to your waist to turn you. He guides you left and right, showing you a glimpse of what tomorrow will bring.

“I love this idea, but…”

“You don’t like the outfit.”

“No, sorry. I think it sits weird on my shoulders and when I move, the sweater doesn’t stay tucked in and-” you huff out air, sagging your shoulders.

“This is no problem at all. Take it off. I shall find another one.”

He hurries back to the clothing racks, murmuring to himself how he could combine this with that and that with this. In the end, he returns with a body tight dress which you haven’t worn before.

“No, I’ll be too chilly.”

“This is no problem. Another look.”

He abandons the dress before you even put it on. He is murmuring again, taking this job very seriously.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m a lot.”

“I will ignore what you just said because you are neither a lot nor should you apologise. Ah yes! This will go perfectly with this.”

He hurries back to you. 

“These pants with this blouse. It is elegant with a hint of sophistication and the red belt will give it a pop of colour.”

You put it on, turn and twist in front of the mirror and sigh in defeat.

“I feel like my tummy looks weird.”

“It doesn’t, but I shall find something else. I cannot have you feeling this way. It is not the truth, but sometimes it is best to make oneself feel pretty in other ways.”

His positive and judgement-free attitude surrounding your insecurities feels healing. Deep down you know that what your brain is telling you today is a lie. Deep down you know that you are pretty and that your body is not shaped weirdly. But it is difficult to agree when you feel just so shitty about yourself. Even if it will only last for today, tomorrow, this week. Right now, it is very real and it is so healing to have him attempt to tackle the issues without judging them or calling you crazy for them.

He returns with a cocky grin on his face.

“I feel it in my heart that this is going to be it. We have; your favourite colours, a poofy skirt, ruffles and” he lifts his pointer finger dramatically, “pockets”, he says and stuffs his hand into the skirt pocket. 

You laugh, “wow okay, convincing argument.”

“It is indeed. Try it on and let me know how you feel.”

You twist and turn and study yourself. 

“And?” 

“I like the skirt, but the blouse looks weird on me. Urgh, it’s useless, I’m too ugly for life.”

“No you are not. You feel ugly, but you aren’t ugly. Take off the blouse, I will not give up until you feel pretty again.”

He hurries back to your shirts and tops and only returns once he is happy. He helps you slip it on, massaging your shoulders softly once you are dressed.

“You are beautiful, my darling”, he whispers, gazing at you with loving, sparkly eyes.

You look at yourself and you don’t hate what you see. As a matter of fact, you think that you look pretty.

“Tae, I like this.”

“You do?”

You nod your head, “I look pretty.”

“You do. You are. Oh darling, is this it?”

“I think it is. Wow, I can’t believe it. I actually have an outfit which makes me feel nice again.”

“I am so happy to hear this. Oh my darling”, he hugs you and kisses your cheek, “you are so beautiful and it hurts when you cannot see it. I am glad that I could help you feel better again.”

“You really could. Thank you. I know it took…wow an hour. I’m so sorry, I-”

“Hush, this was the best hour of my day”, he silences you and turns you in his arms. “Yes, sweetest? I could have spent ten hours on it and I still would have loved it. Yes?”

“Yes, okay”, you whisper, eyes sparkly.

“Yes.” He caresses your cheek. “Now, what shall we do for the rest of tonight? I cannot possibly leave you alone when you feel this way.”

“Honestly? If you helped me clean this mess up and then held me in bed, I would already be happy.”

“Then we shall do exactly that. And I will add a compliment each minute to it.”

You laugh, “okay, okay if you say so.”

“Mh-hm I do. Compliment number one. Your smile really brightens a room.”

You smile, heart fluttering.

“Thank you so much. God Tae sweetest, I love you”, you say and hug him.

“I love you too, my sweetest”, he purrs softly and hugs you back. 

[certifiablyinsanez]

Mammon is great ace representation: an essay on aphobia in the Hellaverse fandom

I’m seeing a lot of people be mad about Mammon having a thing for Leviathan. And I’m going to need the fandom to step back and examine these issues, because they are 100% rooted in aphobia. I have been out as an oriented aroace person for over 10 years if you want to doubt my credentials, rather than listen to my analysis, lived experience and reflect.

So. Tell me Hellaverse fandom; why, when it comes to Alastor, who is a character who very clearly has zero interest in others, it is always a chorus of people saying “aces can have sex”, “aces can enjoy sex”, “it’s not harmful to the ace community to use Alastor for shipping material, he isn’t real and asexuality and aromanticism is a huge spectrum”, “Aroace people can still date and have sex”?

But when it comes to Mammon, he is “bad asexual representation”, he “clearly experiences sexual attraction”, “he can’t be demisexual”, etc.

No genuinely, why is this? I want you to examine this, think on it from a place of neutral examination and come to your own conclusions. Because this is a worrisome double standard. This can for starters, be an instance of fat phobia. Because out of the two of them, Alastor is thin, and therefore closer to the beauty standard, which is hysterical considering that Alastor canonically has horrible hygiene, and I don’t think I know a single person who thinks that stank ass body and breath is attractive. Mammon, as seen from the slovenly way he eats, can potentially be assumed to have poor hygiene as well, but it has a very different connotation because of his weight. [Research the connection between thin privilege and body odor/hygiene. It’s very real].

I can spend a lot of time and energy going into the shipping dynamics between the shows, as well as how Alastor is a more “shippable” character in comparison to Mammon, but I honestly don’t find this as interesting or as compelling as to what I’m about to say next.

Because aphobia in the real world is still very alive and well today. In my 10+ years of being in the ace community, I have genuinely spent a lot of emotional energy, time, knowledge, experience, and compassion, just fighting for the right to even be acknowledged as queer. I have vivid memories from when I was first out of the closet at the age of 16, telling ace people across apps and forums that they were valid, that they weren’t broken, that they were deserving of love, respect, and a place in the queer community. I was telling people, younger, my age, and older that they shouldn’t kill themselves, that they had worth beyond what they could do in the bedroom for others. I had to convince people that they didn’t owe anyone sex, and that they were in fact being sexually abused by their partners. I was on the phone with people in tears. I spent HOURS of my life in these DMs at an age where I was a suffering, mentally ill queer child that was also being victimized by aphobia. Still to this day people think the “A” stands for ally. And still to this day people have discord about our community as a whole. I have had to sit and watch as people went from loudly proclaiming with their whole chest that asexual people didn’t exist, or at the very least weren’t queer. Then years went by and it became less and less okay to say things like that, because asexual people finally had fought long enough and had supported each other enough that we discovered our voices and began to use them. So people were finally facing the consequences of saying bigoted shit.

And now that they can’t say that asexuals aren’t queer, they moved on to another group. Demisexuals. Demisexuals by far have it roughest, because while there are many micro labels in our community to explain our diverse range of experiences, demisexual is probably the most well known one. And every handful of months or so I have to use my voice once again to stand up for my people, because an attack on one of us is an attack on all of us, and people on the internet have made it clear that they have no qualms of attacking us. The asexual and aromantic community have made extremely valuable contributions to the queer community that are entirely overlooked because we are not valued in it.

And this is why I have been an outspoken proponent of my displeasure over Alastor being a character that is the most shipped with others, and my disdain for the fanbase has grown even wider after Mammons appearance in Mastermind. It is a painful reminder of all the discrimination I’ve faced over the years, that my community still goes through. Because people are contrarians. Alastor is canonically asexual, and other aspects of his character are reflective of aromanticism as well. Well, the fanbase doesn’t like this so much. If you genuinely pay attention, you’ll notice this is a trend with a lot of other aroace characters. My favorite example is Peridot from Steven Universe, a canonical aroace character. In the show, Peridot goes through a lot of unlearning and growth. The scene where she tries to fuse with Garnet has massive implications for a few reasons. Because one, she is genuine in her desire to understand Garnet, and fusion better. And two, fusion while forbidden on Homeworld, is commonplace and normal in the Crystal Gems. As a Crystal Gem, she feels this is what is now expected of her. This is a major experience in the aspec community, as living in a cis heteronormative society means that sex, marriage and children are all things expected of each individual, which is dangerous and harmful ideology to everyone, asexual/aromantic people as well. Peridot couldn’t go through with the fusion, but that didn’t stop the fandom salivating, and foaming at the mouth over a potential Lapis/Peridot fusion. People were genuinely mad at Rebecca Sugar for never making that pairing canon, when they had absolutely no right to behave the way they did. Let’s not forget how the fans also misgendered Rebecca Sugar constantly. It was absolutely bigoted.

This is happening with Alastor. Fans feel entitled to ship him with whomever, an entitlement that is not seen with other characters. When people ship Vaggie with Angel, there is backlash, and for good reason. Because people understand that despite the fact that Vivienne Medrano said people can ship whatever, shipping a gay man with a woman and a gay woman with a man is…gross. It is wrong, it is disrespectful of their identities, and is forcing heteronormativity onto characters that are strict in their sexualities. Most people are able to recognize the thinly veiled homophobia. But Alastor does not receive the same treatment, and in fact receives the opposite treatment. I don’t know what I could say to convince you that the aroace coded character in a show being the #1 most shipped is thinly veiled aphobia the same way Vaggie x Angel is thinly veiled homophobia.

Now what does that have to do with Mammon? Mammon seems to not be aroace coded like Alastor, and for some reason, that has thoroughly pissed people off. Because Mammon is not the “acceptable” caricature of an asexual person. Most allosexual (non-asexual and/or aromantic people) view being asexual as being synonymous with being aromantic, which shows a painful lack of understanding and at times respect for the diversity of our community. Alastor fits this category, so he’s an “acceptable asexual”, while also essentially being a toy for shippers. But Mammon, with his clear attraction to Leviathan, is a “bastardization” of the asexual image. When we aren’t being viewed as broken, we’re often being viewed as chaste, virginal, and innocent with attachments to infantilization. But Mammon, with his aggressive and even icky approach to flirting with Leviathan, is seen as a subversion of this, which for people who don’t understand our community, hate. And these people are blaming Vivienne for having “terrible ace rep” when in actuality, having multiple ace characters having very little in common is actually fantastic rep. Because there are many labels in our community that Mammon can fit into as an asexual. To me, he looks like a sex-positive, high libido, demisexual. He’s known Leviathan for thousands of years, of course it makes sense that he would be into her, but not into anyone else which would explain why his “posse” are just female robots. This could also be because of his classism, but I genuinely think that he’s just demisexual. And you already know how people feel about demisexuals.

If you’ve read this far and have genuinely set aside your biases and personal feelings like I requested in the beginning, I appreciate that. Because from my own lived experience, the double standard between Alastor and Mammon doesn’t annoy me; it frightens me.

Because what the fandom is actually saying when they do these things is this:

“We see you as a homogenous group. Your voices go in one ear and out the other. If you don’t conform to our values and standards, we won’t give you the respect or recognition you deserve. If you don’t conform to my view of your group, you lose my “allyship”. We do not see your identity as a sexuality in its own right, but rather a literary device we can play with. I do not care to learn more about your community, your culture, or your struggles. I barely (if at all) acknowledge you as your own sexual minority and marginalized group. I barely acknowledge (if at all) that you are queer at all. I do not care about your feelings about societal biases that I might carry, I don’t care about how you’ve lived it, because it takes away my fun and fantasies. Because I devalue your group as a whole, your voices mean little. Your narrative is mine to do with as I please.”

I really hope you can see my perspective and understand the sincere place this comes from. Thanks for reading.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

watched kpop demon hunters bc of you and loved it! i think some of the themes overlap with twst and are executed pretty well. the idea that demonic, negative influence doesn't just manifest in and is fueled by cruelty to others but also in cruelty to oneself seems like it would resonate with a lot of the cast. internalized perception of self in which you are inherently bad due to having done something bad/being born that way which then in turn prevents you from doing good and consequently leading a good, fullfilling life is a seemingly simple concept yet a pretty relatable one imo. also jinu first telling a sugarcoated version and then feeling even worse because of it! circles of horrible coping mechanisms are circling.

was wondering if you might like to share some thoughts on the thematic similarities? either way, thank you for the endorsement of it! i was initially wary due to some viral clips being those fanservicy comedic moments so you were the one to convince me to give it a try.

[Referencing this post!]

Yaaay 🎊 I am a positive influence for once/j!! hdwfejcmchevejkee I has skeptical of it too (mostly because the premise wasn’t selling me on it), but I’m glad I gave it a shot because KPDH really is such a gem 💎✨ The humor definitely isn’t for everyone; some friends of mine couldn’t get into it because they found the jokes too cringe or leaning too much into stan/celebrity worship culture. That’s okay, everyone has different opinions. The film has found its audience and they’re happy with it regardless ^^

I think part of what helped KPop Demon Hunters succeed is how far-reaching its message is. Its themes and story can be read multiple different ways, which are all equally valid. For example, many in the LGBTQIA+ community see the finale as a metaphor for Rumi coming out of the closet and her friends accepting her gender identity and/or sexuality. Remember how Celine kept telling Rumi to “cover up”, admitted she was getting over her own bigotry, and insisted Rumi could never talk about it? It gives similar vibes as shaming someone who wants to come out and confide in friends. Same goes for the scene when Rumi said she wanted “all of [her]” to be accepted, not for one aspect of her (ie her demon heritage or, in this case, gender identity/sexuality, to be conveniently ignored). Her demon markings going from purple to rainbow (a symbol commonly associated with the queer community) at the end is also cited as contributing to the coming out metaphor.

The same points I brought up in the previous paragraph could also be interpreted as an individual struggling with her mental health and becoming comfortable with revealing that to their friends. In this reading, Celine is an elder who doesn’t believe in poor mental health as a “real” illness, Rumi is putting pressure on herself to be “normal” or to “get better”, and the demons she fights are her literal “inner demons”. A third reading could be Rumi and neurodivergence (since I believe autism spectrum disorder is also associated with the rainbow).

KPDH can generally be read as a “person learning to entrust friends with their secret(s)” story too. However, this can also be interpreted as (more specifically) healing from generational trauma. I’m not sure hos common this take it, but it came up a LOT in my irl friend circles (which are predominantly composed of what are considered ethnic minorities in our country). Note that Huntrix are from a long line of demon hunters, are beholden to a duty or a legacy, and have an mentor from the previous generation that encourages them to keep to the status quo by concealing their weaknesses and flaws. Rumi is also shown to have a lot of shame regarding her markings, and shame is pretty prominently used to shame people into obedience or following outdated traditions or rules. By covering up these problems, ignoring them, and/or trying to “fix” them instead of talking about the problems, they are perpetuated.

With the film being about Kpop stars, another interesting interpretation presents itself: critique of the industry and the fandom around it. For example, Celine insists to Huntrix that their flaws and weaknesses must remain hidden. The fans are not allowed to see idols at their low points or making mistakes because it messes with the fantasy of perfection many idols have formed around their images. And if there is a mistake made or publicized? Those idols can take a DEEP hit and the fans can turn on them or seek out the next best thing real fast.

Our protagonists are a group that has a positive relationship with their fans. Huntrix’s music quite literally brings people together, as it is the souls resonating with their songs that provides the thread for the honmoon. The Saja Boys, who rival them in popularity, have a far more sinister relationship with their fans. They manipulate, take advantage of, and hypnotize people into becoming fanatics who will literally lay down their lives/souls for them. This reflects the toxic side of stan culture—when fans become TOO obsessive and go out of their way to defend anything their idols do or say. Furthermore, we see Huntrix and the Saja Boys see their fans very differently. Huntrix states both in the beginning and the end of the film that they love their fans. The Saja Boys are largely the opposite—4 out of 5 members immediately lose interest and slump once they leave the autograph signing and are out of the fans’ sights. Their love is fake and performative. In creating this parallel, KPDH shows us the power music has to be both a force for good and a force for evil, how there are genuine people and fake people alike in the industry.

Whoops, this became a KPDH analysis and not a Twst one—

The point is, I don’t think there’s one obvious way to see the film; people are going to get something slightly different out of it depending on their own experiences and perspectives. As for how these could relate to Twst… Well, let’s start with some of the things you pointed out.

You mentioned how cruelty inflicted onto others and to oneself are equivalent +

I don’t think there’s idea of being held back by the belief that one is “born bad” is super applicable to Twst in-universe. Very few of our main cast believes they are born evil (and even fewer see themselves as evil to begin with). Leona and Malleus were born with immense power, Jamil was born into an unfortunate legacy, and Vil was a child celebrity constantly type casted and convinced he was the same as the roles he played. I don’t think any of these guys (or other characters) necessarily have the mentality of “I was born bad, so I can’t be capable of any good.” Most of them try to do good or to earn respect via their actions (save for maybe Jamil, who again is just trapped where he is in the social ladder). However, that idea definitely relates on a meta level. The whole philosophy of Twst is to show that no person is entirely good or evil and asks us to give second chances to its characters no matter how terrible their actions or first impressions are. We’re not meant to see the boys as static, but rather as dynamic beings who can grow and change to become better versions of themselves.

You pointed out how Jinu sugarcoated his past, but I also want to add he wanted to erase it altogether. This is reminiscent of how Azul denied his past self and wanted to delete all records of it.

I remember seeing a Twitter post basically saying “we need the OB boys performing something like Your Idol” blow up. Honestly though?? I don’t think that song (or the vibes of it) fits them at all. It’s too… sinister and seductive. I do not realistically think any of them would say this kind of flirty wish fulfillment stuff in canon. Like, I think it fits a fanon version of the OB boys (especially the yumeshipping side of fandom) just fine, but not the canon versions. The only part of Your Idol that sort of resonated with particular Twst characters was Now we runnin’ wild / You’re down on your knees […] because it vaguely reminded me of Leona’s Book 2: Usurper from the Wilds and his UM chant, which involves a command to kneel before him. Even then, I find it’s a very threadbare connection.

I sort of got Leona vibes from Golden too, but primarily the opening portion:

I was a ghost, I was alone

In the darkened abyss

Given the throne, I didn’t know how to believe

I was the queen I was meant to be

If you swapped out “queen” for “king”, I would 100% believe Kingscholar wrote that verse. It even mentions the ABYSS, which is the term Leona coins for the deeper dreams the darkness drags the OB boys into in book 7. And the THRONE??? One he doesn’t believe he deserves? C’mon now, that’s for Leona written all over it 😭

The song I actually think best represents the Twst boys—and, more specifically, the OB boys—is This is What it Sounds Like. I feel like this is the least talked about of the KPDH’s original songs, which is such a shame because I really love it and think it represents the characters’ growth so well.

Here’s a breakdown of the relevant lyrics and how I see them relating to the OB boys:

Nothing but the truth now

Nothing but the proof of what I am

The worst of what I came from, patterns I'm ashamed of

Things that even I don't understand

This phrasing automatically makes me think of the boys confronting their OB selves + Phantoms in book 7. They are quite literally facing down their true selves, proof of the darkest and most ugly parts of their personalities, the “worst of what [they] came from”, things they are ashamed of.

I tried to fix it, I tried to fight it

My head was twisted, my heart divided

My lies all collided

These read to me like each individual OB boy’s attempts to cope with their past trauma with various methods. For example, Riddle adopted his mother’s mentality, Leona tried to rebel against the expectations placed on him, Azul toughened up and became a bully instead of the victim he once was, Jamil attempted to free himself by manipulating others, Vil worked his ass off to prove himself, Idia became increasingly lonely and withdrawn, and Malleus used disaster-level magic to stop the flow of time. In most, if not all, of these cases, the boys actively lied about themselves and/or pretended to be strong instead of confessing to their weaknesses and seeking help.

Brownie points for these lyrics saying TWISTED 😭 It just so happens to fit with Twisted Wonderland so well.

I don't know why I didn't trust you to be on my side

Twst has been pushing the power of friendship since the prologue. We are told that NRC students are prideful and want to get things done themselves. It’s not until maybe late book 6 when we start to see the students working together and trusting their peers to fight alongside them or to stand beside them as equals. This trend continues into book 7, where we see various dorm members jumping after their dorm leader to help them (when they NEVER would before) and the dorm leaders trusting their members to support them. For example, Adeuce absolutely REFUSE to follow Riddle’s command to abandon him and to save themselves, and Azul + the twins trust he can make it out of his abyss on his own—he is no longer weak. There has been such a clear change in dynamic among the students from the prologue until now.

I/we broke into a million pieces and I/we can't go back

But now I'm/we’re seeing all the beauty in the broken glass

A very prominent and recurring motif in Twst is mirrors. These lyrics make me think of the mirrors in the Mirror Chamber all shattering. Broken mirrors result in 7 years bad luck and ruins the images of the students reflected in them. By every account, this should be considered a bad thing—but in a way, it can also be considered triumphant and hopeful.

A broken mirror is not nice to look at and the shards hurt if they pierce you. It’s literally something ugly and with the capacity to harm, a truth that brings you pain if you acknowledge it. But look again, and you’ll see your image is still there. Many smaller, fragmented versions. Bite-sized pieces of the truth, presented in a more digestible manner. Little by little, you start to appreciate what you see there. Again, it’s like the OB boys staring at all their fears and insecurities—but in facing them, they see how far they’ve come since.

I think this message is particularly powerful for Azul, who has a lot of shame associated with his youth. The day when he can look back fondly on his childhood and accept every part of himself, including the rotund crybaby he once was.

The scars are part of me, darkness and harmony

My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like

The “scars” here are not literal, but moreso a representation of each person’s trauma. Our negative experiences shouldn’t entirely define us, but they are always going to be an aspect of us. A lot of the reason why the OB boys are the way they are is due to those experiences in their formative years. The bad is there, yes—but so is the good. Both darkness AND harmony are a part of them, and the moment they can admit that to themselves, they can be authentic and open with who they are.

Why did I/we cover up the colors stuck inside my/our head?

I/We should've let the jagged edges meet the light instead

Show me what's underneath, I'll find your harmony

The song we couldn't write, this is what it sounds like

Really beautiful imagery aside, I think this could be interpreted as the boys realizing they should put aside their difference snd come together. Each dorm is represented by different colors—so let those colors merge, not remain covered or isolated. You have jagged edges (ie you have trauma and issues?). Be open and vulnerable about them. Unite with your peers instead of pushing them away. Show them what’s beneath your proud exteriors, show them your good traits too!!

We're shattering the silence, we're rising defiant

Shouting in the quiet, you're not alone

We listened to the demons, we let them get between us

But none of us are out here on our own

Again, this touches on the theme of coming together—something set up since the prologue. In this case, the “demons” are not literal, but instead refer to dark thoughts that someone may be dealing with on their own. It’s a difficult task, but, as the lyrics point out, everyone is dealing with their own “demons”. It is this shared sentiments that gives the Twst boys common ground to stand on. Knowing that, it also grants them the strength—through numbers, through social support—to “[rise] defiant” against it.

So, we were cowards, so, we were liars

So, we're not heroes, we're still survivors

The dreamers, the fighters, no lying, I'm tired

But dive in the fire and I'll be right here by your side

This parallels the OB boys confessing to their failures and shortcomings. They lied, cheated, manipulated, and sooo much more. They admit to not being good guys, that they’re not worthy of being called “heroes”—yet they still survived for this long, and that, in of itself, is a commendable feat. They still have their hopes and dreams, and they’re still willing to fight for them. This point is especially salient because the OB boys all reject the dreams Malleus presents to them and want to actively fight for the right to make their own futures.

The “dive in the fire” part doesn’t have to be an actual fire; it could just mean a tough situation. In the case of the Twst boys, it CAN be an actual fire. More specifically, Malleus’s. I think of how the students had to take turns whittling him down by dorm. We get several moments of them struggling to hold the line, but they’re able to do so only because they have their dorm members by their side, thus affirming the fact that there is strength in togetherness.

Fearless and undefined, this is what it sounds like

Truth after all this time, our voices all combined

When darkness meets the light, this is what it sounds like

A summation of everyone uniting and sounding so much more confident in doing so!! (“When darkness meets the light” refers to when trauma, secrets, etc. are finally exposed and shared with others. There’s nothing to hide anymore, and that’s framed as a good thing.) The ultimate goal in Twst; no further comments.

[iatrophilosophos]

"Everyone" is not "worse at driving now" because of long covid. Yall.

Long covid is real, it is fucking people up, it seems relatively common, and that is precisely why everyone needs to stop attributing everything under the sun to it and actually adopt a sense of interrogative vigor*, especially among people who are 20-30 and have, lbr, SO MANY reasons to be miserable and ill including:

Shitty moldy apartment buildings & similar environmental hazards of slum&overcrowded housing

Dietary deficiencies/cheap mass-produced and fast food (no judgement! Eat what you can get down! But not eating vegetables WILL make you sick and crazy)

Onset of chronic illnesses folks would've gotten anyway &/ may be caused by factors like air & water pollution esp wrt environmental racism

Getting older 🤷 and conversely, being a young adult struggling to take care of oneself in a world that doesn't prioritize teaching you those skills & is often actively hostile towards using them

*by interrogative vigor i mean looking for information about why something ISNT covid or isn't long covid: lots of ppl are doing gr8 keeping up on the releases around covid! But yknow, when ur hammered you wanna nail everyone. Everything deserves a good faith effort to try on several explanations, you will learn a lot more even if it turns out to be your first thought.

I'm not saying any of this to try to downplay or deny anyone's suffering and im not interested in arguing with specific individuals about whether or not they personally have long covid (idk you! Idk ur history! Not for me to say! Lots of people definitely do!). I also understand that when doctors say things like the above^ it can feel really shitty and be really unhelpful. No one wants to feel like they're miserable and dying for months, finally get in a clinic visit, and be told "idk clean ur apartment, thatll be $400. Come back in six months to pay me another $400 when it doesn't work". That sucks!

What i can say is that whether or not any given individual has long covid, you almost definitely have at least one(1) other problem. this...really ain't my first rodeo. I have been watching especially younger adults who are breaking down & being disabled by the weight of The Everything get a pathology diagnosis, apply it as the root cause of most of their problems, proselytize how everyone, actually, probably has this pathology, and watch it catch on as the definitions get vaguer and the symptoms pool gets bigger. It almost always happens with diagnoses of exclusion & diagnoses that are very subjective: ADHD, autism, crohn's disease, hEDS...

Pathologies are most useful when they define a problem in a way it can be solved. I think in a lot of spaces, especially online, they can be leaned on as a source of validation or emotional support: it's the explanation that makes your misery make sense and justifies it to others. I would suggest that, as disability activists have been saying for decades: we do not have to justify our misery. We don't need an excuse to feel. We don't need an excuse to need help.

What we do need is a) a political critique of the state of disability that doesn't let the rest of the everything off the hook in favor of yelling about individual actions, and b) a personal and community scale understanding of misery that is useful to remediating misery AND!!! GATHERING BETTER DATA about the things that are making people miserable so we can fucking! Work on it!

One of the main things I do like, with my life tbh, is help disabled people understand their health and be less miserable, and when i work with clients in a more professional setting or just chat with friends, we don't start with a pathology: we start with a map. We look at housing, we look at food access, we look at environmental conditions, all in really granular detail, because everyone has so! Many! Problems! And we start work on solving like, two of them. How are we gonna beat the mold in your home back? How are we gonna get more food into you? & this starts to clarify things. One, regardless of what's wrong with people, these kinds of steps almost unilaterally help ease the burden p immediately, and two, fixing as much junk-data misery as we can gives us a WAY better understanding of what's going on and like, lets my clients have more productive relationships with their doctors because they can work up a smaller and more detailed list of complaints to investigate (& that are more within the realm of what those docs are actually trained to handle, most medical professionals just do not have skills for helping ppl with shit life syndrome.)

Caring about long covid as a mass disabling event (which i do, very much so!) should be pushing us to define DOWN the criteria for long covid by building a deep & rich understanding of the multiple other sources of misery and disability and using real tactics to help ourselves&eachother live with that misery. This in turn lets us build more concrete models of the things that are not currently well defined and thus strategize to figure out how to deal with those; rather than lumping everything into the nonspecific symptoms disease de jour and continuing to rot six deep in apartments where everyone's literally allergic to the fucking walls.