#our camping trip got cut short

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Practice On Me — Part Five — Azriel x Reader

Note: I feel like this part isn’t that great but as you may have seen, I had a family emergency and I got kind of distracted whilst trying to finish it. It was going to be even longer with even more drama, but I wanted to get an update out today and I wouldn’t have finished it in time, so I’ve cut it short (on a cliffhanger, of course), and the next part will be out quicker as it’s already mostly written. You can look forward to more drama 😏 I hope you enjoy this part all the same! Also, I try to tag everyone who asks, but it won’t let me tag some of you, so please check your settings to make sure your blog is able to be tagged/searched for!

Summary: Reader is trying to carry on as normal, but a trip to a rival camp has tensions rising once more, and jealous Azriel makes a return. Trouble seems to follow our poor girl everywhere…

Word Count: 6.1k.

Warnings: A bit of violence.

This is all wrong.

The beautiful female hovers over Azriel, her lips slanting over his. Her mouth is commanding, entirely in control.

She smiles against him like she knows it.

She grabs Azriel’s hands, plants them on her waist. And she whispers in a voice that is so seductive, it almost seems impossible, “Touch me.”

So Az touches her. And it’s all wrong.

He can’t exactly place why it’s wrong. Just that there’s a panic unfurling inside of him that this is all happening too fast—

No, not too fast. It’s not that.

It’s who hovers over him that’s the problem. The realisation is nearly suffocating. Something has changed.

He doesn’t…doesn’t think he wants to be doing this here, right now, with Kaeda. It feels…off. He’s not comfortable, not at ease, like he’s always been with—

The door bursts open, and it’s a relief when Kaeda tears her mouth away from his.

The relief instantaneously disappears as he turns his head, drinks in who stands at the threshold. His stomach lurches.

Y/N looks as if she’s about to keel over on the spot. She trembles so violently that she can’t seem to keep her body still. Her tunic and breeches and shoes are sodden, as though she traipsed all the way here, through the snow, with nothing shielding her from the cold. Her hair sticks to her face, and there’s blood — blood streaking down her chin.

Azriel goes cold. Something has happened.

But Y/N seems oblivious to the blood as she stares, wide-and-watery-eyed, between Azriel and Kaeda.

And Az thinks…fuck. Fuck, fuck, a thousand times, fuck.

His head is reeling, roaring.

And then Kaeda says, “The shop hand from the forge,” and Azriel doesn’t like her tone; like being a shop hand is something shameful. She adds, “What happened to your face?”

Az is wondering the same fucking thing. It’s then that be remembers how to move, and he’s wrenching up and scooting out from beneath Kaeda, and his voice is quiet, soft, as he murmurs, “Y/N…”

He wants to go to her, fuss over her, but she’s gripping the door handle and shaking her head in a way that stops him from doing so.

“Sorry for interrupting.” She chokes out. In a flash, the door is yanked shut, and she’s gone.

All Azriel can think is no. Something prickles at his skin. He forgets there’s someone else in the room with him.

“Do you know her?” Kaeda’s voice jolts him.

“She’s my—friend.” The word sounds strange in his voice, tastes funny on his tongue. It tastes…sour.

“You think she got into a fight, or something?”

“No, that’s not—” He stops himself from revealing too much. Presses his back into the pillows. “No. I’m not sure what happened, but…no.”

Kaeda seems to think on that for a mere second or two. And then she shrugs. “How strange.”

Before Azriel can reply, she’s climbing into his lap, legs either side of his. She grabs his hands, planting them on her hips. Her soft hair tickles his cheek as she leans down, and she smells pleasant. Sweet and powdery.

“Where were we?” She murmurs, and then she kisses him again.

There is no excitement in this. There should be something thrilling about the way her lips attack his hungrily, and the way she’s stroking her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, and the way she rocks on top of him. Az may lack experience, but he doesn’t lack knowledge, basic common sense.

His cock should be hardening in his breeches by now. But all he feels is…panic.

He’s too concerned about Y/N to focus.

He rips his mouth away, panting, “I can’t.”

Kaeda blinks down at him. “What?”

“I’m sorry, I just — I need to find Y/N. I need to check she’s alright.”

The female studies him, reading his face.

And then her expression softens. She nods. “Of course, Azriel. I’m sorry. You should go find her.”

Kaeda is nice — he’s thought so since the moment he met her, when she took a late night trip to one of the training rings a good few months ago, and Az had had the same idea. She’s one of those personable people who can get along with anyone — who could coax conversation out of a lump of snow. People light up around her, and they laugh, and she makes everyone she talks to feel special.

So of course she has no problem with Az skipping out on her. It thaws his heart a little. The panic is still there, though.

“I’m sorry.” He stands from the bed, a twinge of guilt biting at him for just…leaving her here. “I’ll check on her and make sure she’s okay. I’ll come back after.”

Kaeda smiles at him brilliantly. “Go on. She needs you.”

He doesn’t need any more encouragement than that. Later on, he might regret how quickly he darts from the room, as if it’s on fire. But right now, all he thinks of is Y/N.

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You end up at the cottage. You’re not sure why. Nor how — you have no recollection of the walk there.

The pain of an aching heart blocks out the cold, at least.

You need…you don’t know what you need.

It feels as though you’re standing still as the world moves too fast around you.

You numbly walk through the front door, forgetting to kick the snow from your shoes. And you stop at the sight of Cassian in the kitchen, stood alone at the counter, his back to you. Your mind can’t register that he’s here, when you expected him to be at the centre of the Solstice festivities, drinking the night away and finding someone to fall into bed with by the end of it.

He turns, unperturbed by your abrupt arrival. “Sandwich break.” He chirps, and then his eyes land on you. The sandwich slips from his hands. “What the fuck?”

You open and close your mouth, not even sure what might come out. There’s a disconnect somewhere. Nothing’s working right.

You just hope it isn’t Azriel’s name that slips past your lips. You don’t want to have to explain your complicated feelings where he’s concerned.

“My father.” You eventually rasp. “He…”

You don’t need to finish the sentence. Cassian knows. He always knows.

He comes striding over to you and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. And you feel a little deceitful that the tears that immediately begin to fall have nothing to do with what went down with your father. But what’s one more negative emotion to add to the growing pile? You sink into the embrace, accept it greedily. Cassian’s hugs will one day feature in legendary tales, you’re sure.

“I told Az I had a bad feeling about tonight.” He says, pulling back to study you. A rare fury flames his gaze, turning him instantly into the feared opponent that so many other males simply refuse to fight. He clenches his jaw, features harsh for once. “Gods, I just want to go straight to your father’s house and—”

“No.” You quickly cut him off. “Not tonight. Please. I can’t take any more tonight.”

Cass can be stubborn and driven by emotion and he’s damn well attracted to fights like a moth to a flame. But he’s also a fiercely loyal friend who will listen to what you need and act accordingly.

Which is why he gently takes your face in his huge, warm hands, inspects your split lip, and says, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You could kiss him for that, alone.

Maybe you should.

No, you’re not thinking straight.

You don’t want to think at all, as you allow yourself to be seated on the couch, and Cass begins rummaging for whatever scant medical supplies Rhysand’s mother keeps in the cottage. Years under your father’s thumb means that you’ve got the art of emptying your mind to an almost frightening level of perfection. Perhaps an unhealthy coping mechanism, but a necessary one. You force your head to go quiet, to empty.

But then Cassian is perching himself in front of you, a gentle smile on his face.

“I’m totally making this up as I go along.” He admits. “I’ll make it as painless as I can.”

A bizarre thought strikes you that you actually want this to hurt.

You’re not sure what to make of that one.

Luckily for you, you can’t exactly provide much conversation with Cass cleaning the wound on your lip. It’s nice not to have to think beyond the vague hums you give in response to his occasional comments.

But before long, he’s rubbing a salve into the cut — and apologising as you hiss at the sting — and then he tells you, “All done. The bleeding has stopped.”

Your attempt at a smile is more of a grimace. “Thank you.”

The silence in the room is odd. Pressing. Even in the most testing of times, Cassian is known for trying to inject some humour into the situation — he’s a master at easing tension. But he stares at you in a way that strips you bare.

And then he asks, “What happened tonight?”

You frown at the question, not entirely sure how to answer. You know he’s asking in regard to the wound, wanting to know exactly how you got it, but your thoughts are aimed — uncontrollably — in a singular direction, and if you open your mouth, you’re not at all sure that Azriel’s name won’t just roll off your tongue.

“Y/N?” Cassian presses.

“I…” You swallow. It’s a good start. “I think I might be homeless.”

Not exactly an answer. But it seems that’s enough for Cass.

He shifts his position so that he’s able to fold you into his side. He guides your head to his chest, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“No, you’re not. You have this place.” He murmurs. “You’ll always have this place. Or you could move into my room at the dormitories, if you’d like. I’ll even clean it for you.”

That drags a weak, rasping laugh from the depths of your aching chest. “You really are a catch, Cass.”

“Oh, I know. But I’ll clean my room for no other female but you.”

Would that change, you wonder, if he met Kaeda, saw how beautiful she was? He may not have had the pleasure of an introduction yet, but you’re sure that Azriel must have shared at least some information with him and Rhys. They probably know more than you do.

Your curiosity piques, and before you can stop yourself, you’re speaking. “Cass?”

“Yes, sweetpea?”

You should totally backtrack, blurt out something pointless and irrelevant—

“What do you know of Kaeda?”

Or maybe not.

There’s a short pause as Cass seems to mull the question over, his fingers beginning to absentmindedly rake through your hair.

“Not much.” He eventually admits. “Her family aren’t from this camp. Her father is Lord of Camp Fenlaros. I think they’re a wealthy family, highly respected. I don’t know any more than that.”

Which explains why you’d never seen her until the day she’d walked into the forge. You’d certainly remember meeting her before. The Fenlaros Camp sits at the other side of Illyria — the furthest one from Windhaven.

“You don’t need to worry, though.” Cass then says, and you stiffen, wondering if your silence has somehow exposed you. “Az has a good head on his shoulders. He knows what he’s doing.”

Yes, you want to say, because I fucking taught him.

But before you can muster a reasonable response, the door is bursting open.

Azriel strides in, damp hair sticking to cold-bitten cheeks and his chest heaving. His eyes drink in yours and Cassian’s current position, before zeroing in on your face.

“I’ve been looking for you.” He pants.

You stare back at him, and you hate that you feel…angry. You have no right to feel that way. What has Az done, besides what he always intended to do? Exploring your affections was only ever supposed to be a practice run. If he feels ready for the real thing, you should be excited for him.

But quite simply, you’re not.

“Why?” The word comes out too brusque, too harsh. You correct yourself, clearing your throat. “I mean—what for?”

A pause. “I was worried.”

“I got her all cleaned up.” Cass jumps to his feet, gathering the healing supplies in his hands. “It’s not as bad as it looks, thankfully.”

Azriel’s eyes don’t leave your face. “Your father?”

You lower your eyes to your hands, your fingernails of sudden interest to you. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

And you don’t. But as the words leave your mouth, you know you’re not referring to your father’s behaviour. And you think that somehow, Az knows, too.

He stares at you in silence, still breathing a little heavily. And as that silence becomes thick, almost uncomfortable, Cass catches on to it.

He pauses his movements in the kitchen, staring between you and Azriel. It becomes suddenly clear to him that there’s an elephant in the room, and both of you are refusing to glance at it.

You really, really don’t want him to leave you alone with Az right now. You need time to gather your thoughts and feelings and know what you’re not going to say—

“…Anyway…” He clears his throat loudly. “I’m going to head back to the dormitories while the night is still young.” He swivels towards you. “Do you need anything else?”

“I’ve got her.” Az answers before you can. “We’ll be fine here. Go have fun, Cass.”

And, well, Cassian doesn’t need telling twice. So typically of him, he finally scoops his dropped sandwich off the kitchen floor, blows on it, and eats half of it in one bite.

“Happy Solstice, fuckers.” He says around a mouthful of bread. “Come back to the party when you’re finished here.”

You have no plans of doing that. All you want is to climb into bed and cry. But you know there’s no getting out of whatever is about to follow.

“Thanks, Cass.” You murmur quietly, forcing a weak smile.

“Anything for you, sweetpea.”

With the remainder of his sandwich still in hand, his tall frame ducks out of the cottage. The closing of the door is a death knell.

Az stares at you. And then he’s rounding the couch, stopping just inches away.

For the first time in nine years, you’re not sure you can face him. There’s an oily feeling of…of humiliation, that coats you, and it may just worsen if you make eye contact.

“Are you alright?” He breaks the silence, his voice solemn, grave.

You nod. Twist your hands around each other just to give them something to do.  “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Thanks.”

“I don’t mean it like that. But your lip—”

“Cassian saw to it, Az.” Finally, you force yourself to make eye contact. And for his sake — or yours — or whatever — you push your mouth into a watery smile. It hurts your lip and it hurts your heart. “It’s really not that bad.”

There’s a momentary pause. Perhaps he’s not expecting you to be so calm in the wake of such an awful day. Little does he know, it’s all a front. Self-preservation.

You almost — almost — flinch, when he steps closer and perches himself on the coffee table in front of you.

“I should have been there.” He presses his lips into a thin line as he studies the wound up close. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t want to talk about this. You can’t talk about this. You may just die if you do. You just…need the night to end. To go away.

And just as Azriel reaches out to brush a finger over your hurt lip, you’ve decided you’ve had quite enough.

You jump up way too quickly for it to be casual, clearing your throat. “Where is Kaeda?”

“…She’s still at the dorms…”

“You shouldn’t have skipped out on her like that, Azriel. It’s rude.”

“I explained to her that you needed me. She understood—”

You whirl around to face him. You dread to think what he might have told her. “Go back to her, Az.”

Does he know you’re begging him, not telling him? You’re not sure.

He studies you like…like he doesn’t understand your demeanour. And then he says, “I will when I’m done here.”

A brusque laugh leaves you. “There’s nothing to be done here. Cassian already helped.”

You see the words hit him. Part of you feels like a wretch for throwing it in his face. He’s done nothing wrong. He owes you nothing.

This is on you for letting your feelings get out of hand. Your eyes shutter, and you draw in a slow, steeling breath.

“I’m very tired, and I just want to go to bed.” You explain quietly. “And I appreciate that you interrupted your night to come and check on me, I do, but there’s nothing that can be done for me. I just…need to sleep.”

Az stares at you again. Swallows. “Then I’ll stay until you fall asleep—”

“Az. Don’t keep Kaeda waiting.”

You can see how torn he is. You almost feel bad. He wants to do right by everyone.

But he can’t do right by you. Not tonight. It’s too late for that.

And maybe that realisation dawns on him, because finally, he pushes to his feet.

“You know where to find me if you need anything.”

You won’t. But you nod, all the same. “Yes.”

“Lock the door.”

“I will.”

He strides to the door. Pauses with his fingers on the handle, like he wants to say something else.

But then he leaves.

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The cold hurts so good. Every inhale burns your lungs. Your eyes water against the brisk air.

Pushing yourself hard like this, working against the elements, is precisely what you need. You’ve been up here every morning for the past week, putting your body through its paces before the sky has even lightened.

You’ve got avoiding Azriel as much as possible down to an art form, and when you’ve no choice but to face him, your act of breezing nonchalance, or normality, is so convincing that you almost fool yourself.

Almost.

It’s a routine, if not a strange one.

You pant heavily through the exertion, gazing up through the towering trees as you take a moment to catch your breath. It seems that the harder you push yourself, the more your muscles burn, the less your heart aches. The quiet and solitude has been a welcome companion in the days since—

Snow crunches under boots. You stiffen at the approaching footsteps.

If the males training below catch you doing your exercises up here again, they may do more than just chew you out.

But through the trees, Azriel’s unmistakable form emerges in a halo of early morning light. The nature around you seems to pause and bask in his presence, and you can’t blame it one bit.

Gods, he’s beautiful. Painfully so. Gut-wrenchingly so—

It’s for that reason that you snap your front into place; the one you’ve spent the past week perfecting. You will simply act as you always have — as you always did before that first night you offered Azriel your help — and maybe, hopefully, you’ll even start to believe it.

Maybe it will stop hurting.

“Thought I’d find you up here.” There’s an edge to his voice that makes you think he’s waiting to follow your lead. He smiles tentatively.

You smile widely and hope it’s convincing. “I’d much prefer having smoother terrain to work on, but beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose.”

The rigidity of his shoulders ease. “How many times have you tripped over these rocks?”

“Oh, seven hundred, or so.”

He breathes a laugh, a little white cloud pluming in front of his face, and you do the same.

And it’s bad — it’s really bad — but your thoughts are immediately jumping to Kaeda and assuming her natural grace would hold its brilliance on smooth or rough terrain. There’d probably be no tripping, no falling.

You banish those images quickly.

Sometimes, you’re not sure whether you want to be her, or be in bed with her.

Azriel clears his throat, his face sobering. “Listen, I wanted to talk.”

Oh, gods.

Surely he’s not going to just…confront things, right here, right now, like a reasonable person. You’re not even slightly prepared for that. You claw at your mind in panic, searching for some way out of this besides tucking and rolling down the hill away from him—

“I have an invitation.” He says, and you pause. “Well — Kaeda does.”

Bizarre, that the first thought that hits you is a bleating, please don’t ask me to have a threesome.

You drag your mind straight back out of the gutter and will your face into neutrality. “Oh?”

“…Yeah…” Az rubs the back of his neck. “I know the two of you haven’t been properly introduced, but she’s throwing a party back in her home camp — Fenlaros — and she invited me and said I should bring some friends.”

For a moment or two, you simply don’t know what to say. Going into a rival camp is usually best avoided, given that Illyrian males will look for any excuse for a fight. You don’t know much, admittedly, about the Fenlaros Camp, but Illyrians are Illyrians, and that’s just a fact.

But it makes you question, for the first time, a thought that hadn’t so far occurred to you — why has Kaeda been hanging around Windhaven? You don’t even know the story of when she came here, or for what reason.

And that’s on you, you suppose, for wanting to know as little as possible.

“She doesn’t really know anyone here in Windhaven, besides me.” Az continues. “So she told me to bring you, Rhys and Cass along. I think she’s eager to get to know you.”

You’re silent as a thousand thoughts filter through your mind, one by one. So many things you suddenly want to ask, and yet what comes out is merely, “Fenlaros?”

Az nods. He seems to be studying your reaction closely.

“Is that a good idea? We’re not supposed to breach rival camps without express permission.”

“We have permission. Kaeda’s father is Lord of Fenlaros, and the party will be held at her dwellings. She tells me they’re a tad more civilised there than they are here.”

Hard to believe, of Illyrians. But who are you to talk? You’ve never ventured to another camp like she so boldly has.

You can’t exactly explain your hesitation, besides the obvious — subjecting yourself to being in the company of both Azriel and Kaeda seems unnecessarily cruel. But something else about it also just feels…odd. Just strolling into another camp as though that’s a done thing.

To Kaeda, you suppose it is.

“Look, you don’t have to come.” Az says, reading the caution on your face. “Rhys and Cass are eager — it’s our last chance to enjoy ourselves before training gets intense again. But I wouldn’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with—”

“I’ll come.” You blurt. “Of course, I’ll come.”

Even Az looks a little surprised. He studies you, giving you a moment to retract. And then he smiles. “Alright. Great.”

Maybe going to a party with your friends is exactly what you need — doing something normal, something you would have done without thought before you created this mess for yourself.

Perhaps the key to getting past this is to just…pretend it doesn’t hurt, until it no longer does.

And perhaps getting to know Kaeda, making a friend of her, will even help.

“Listen, I need to get back.” Az tells you, glancing over his shoulder. “We’ll discuss the details later.”

Before you can reply, he’s reaching out and pulling you into a tight hug. His scent envelopes you, soothes and pains you in equal measure. You close your eyes against his chest and find yourself hoping — really hoping — that this ache will go away soon. Azriel’s embraces have always been a place of solace. You don’t want that to have changed.

Just as quickly, he pulls away, dropping a kiss onto your forehead. “I’m really glad you’re coming, Y/N.” He says. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

You’re vaguely aware of the non-committal response you give him. Your mind is suddenly screaming at you.

And as he turns and walks away, you can’t help wondering what the fuck you’ve just got yourself into.

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It’s high up in the skies, two nights later, that the true regret begins to seep in.

Not just because the idea of this party makes anxiety coil tightly in your gut, like something in the air whispers to you that tonight will be a total shit show.

It’s the humiliation that hits you on the way there. An itchy kind of humiliation that you haven’t allowed yourself to feel for a very, very long time.

Not far in front of you, Cassian flies freely, the wind stirring his hair. He always wears the same expression while flying, one that’s a combination of elation, freedom and pride.

A small distance ahead of him, Azriel, too, is the picture of soaring grace. And at his side, Kaeda is the same. Her brilliant hair is like a streak of crimson blood that’s been smeared on the night landscape.

And you — you have to be carried by Rhysand. Like a youngling.

You stopped pitying yourself a long time ago for what your father did to you, the way he stole your ability to fly before you ever really had the chance. It was one of those things you had to come to terms with, because you’d never be able to change it.

That old feeling is returning with a vengeance, now, eating you up from the inside. Seeing Az be able to fly alongside a female, something you’d never be able to do—

“I’ve never been to the Fenlaros Camp.” Rhys speaks into your ear, ripping you out of your thoughts. From the way his fingers rub soothing circles into your hip, you know he didn’t miss your bleak expression.

You fix your gaze on the sprawling landscape below. Noises are drifting up to you, becoming louder. You must be close.

“Az says there’s nothing to be worried about.” You answer quietly. “But do you really think all will be well? It doesn’t take much for the three of you to find trouble when there’s alcohol in your system. If you land yourself in deep shit, you’ll be punished.”

His violet eyes sparkle with mischief. “I’m the High Lord’s son — their future High Lord. Everyone is too scared shitless to punish me.”

That’s not entirely true, and he knows it. You shoot him an unamused glance. “Rhys—”

“Hey.” He cuts you off, squeezing your waist. “Look.”

Your eyes fall below, and you pause — blink.

War camp is not the correct term to describe what you’re descending towards.

Windhaven is a war camp. Windhaven is brutal, and cruel, and — quite frankly — unpleasant. You can spend a lifetime there and never feel at home amongst the crumbling, sparse buildings and watchful eyes.

Fenlaros is a small town.

You glimpse barracks and training rings, an armoury and a common hall — all things that Windhaven has. But Windhaven doesn’t have the pristine, secure buildings, looking as new as if they were built yesterday. Warm glows emanate from the inside out, and it feels almost ludicrous to consider that this is a place built to train for war. It just looks like…like a place someone could call home.

You’re close enough to pick up the sounds of music and laughter — all sounds of a place that’s lively despite the late hour. It’s Kaeda’s lead that your three friends follow, and it doesn’t surprise you one bit when she begins a smooth incline to what looked, from above, to be the largest, grandest building in the place.

Suitable dwellings for a Lord and his family, indeed.

Rhys is the last to touch the ground outside of the building. As he sets you down, Cassian lets out an approving whistle.

“This certainly beats the dormitories.” He says, and Kaeda grins.

“Welcome to Fenlaros.” Is all she answers.

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Nothing is ever as bad when the alcohol begins to flow. You even start to vaguely feel like…like you might actually enjoy yourself. The house is so big, filled to the brim with so many people, that you’ve only seen Azriel and Kaeda a couple of times in passing.

This sets off a tiny little battle in your innermost thoughts. Part of you wants to know what they’re up to. The other part of you really fucking doesn’t.

But so far, the people of the Fenlaros Camp are pleasant enough that you’re plied consistently with conversation, too occupied to wonder what might or might not be happening elsewhere in the building. You may just survive this party yet.

You’re just taking a moment to grab yourself another drink when you feel a touch on your shoulder. You turn, and you almost start at the sight of Kaeda smiling at you.

Gods, she really is beautiful.

“I feel like I haven’t had a chance to speak with you properly.” She says, and she’s right. There were very brief official introductions when she arrived to guide you all to Fenlaros, but so far, there’s been no one-on-one.

A fact of which you don’t know whether you’re relieved or disappointed.

“This place is…not like Windhaven.” You breathe a laugh. “Thank you — again — for the invite.”

“Of course. Azriel and I have been getting to know each other for a few months now. That’s all it is so far, and I don’t know where it might go, but I’d like to know his friends as well.”

Enough alcohol has settled into your system that the mention of Az’s name only gives a small twinge. You grin back at Kaeda. “It’s a relief to have another female around.”

“Gods, I’ll bet.” Her laugh is so, so brilliant. Like trickling water or birdsong or something. “Has it really been just the four of you all this time?”

“Pretty much. Since we were nine. A few odd love interests have come and gone, but nothing ever lasted.”

“Well.” She smiles. “Perhaps my arrival in Windhaven was a blessing in disguise.”

“I meant to ask, actually, what brought you there in the first place—”

“Don’t look now, but I think you may have bagged yourself an admirer.”

You pause at the interruption, your thoughts slow to catch up. And then you’re following Kaeda’s gaze to a group of boisterous males. One of whom is eyeing you with an intense hunger. As your eyes meet, one side of his mouth tips up into a smirk.

“That’s Thedis.” Kaeda tells you. “I’ve known him since we were younglings. He’s a good male.”

The way he’s drinking you in makes you not really care, in that moment, whether he’s a good male or a fucking terrible one.

“Listen, I’m going to go find Az.” Kaeda tells you, and her eyes glitter. “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

You give each other your names, and it’s all heavy petting from there.

Thedis doesn’t provide much in the way of conversation, but then that doesn’t matter when the music is loud, and the packed room is dancing, and he’s grinding against you.

He spins you in his arms, hands palming at your hips. You lean into the touch, knowing that his eyes are all over every one of your movements. He’s desperate for you. You have him eating out of the palm of your hand.

But it’s a different pair of hazel eyes that find yours from not far away. A more peculiar pair that you know so well.

Azriel dances nearby, Kaeda moving against him in a similar manner. But he stares at you. Intensely stares at you. The way his eyes rove over your outfit makes you feel like you’re actually wearing something worth marvelling over, and you didn’t just have to make do with what clothing you keep at Rhysand’s mother’s cottage.

The velvet top is pretty, though. Cinched at the waist and accentuating the curves of your breasts. You’re not certain if Thedis has stared at your face or your cleavage more.

But does it really matter, when you’re both aiming for the same, mindless goal, only desiring one thing from each other?

He surely doesn’t seem to think so as his hands explore your body. Azriel watches the entire thing with an unreadable expression.

You rip your gaze away, force it elsewhere. The room is so full that the air is stuffy, and your head spins a little. Against the far wall, a male has his tongue down Rhysand’s throat. They’re touching each other so desperately that it wouldn’t surprise you if they whipped their clothes off and began fucking there and then. The male would wear it as a badge of honour that he’d been with the future High Lord. Amongst the dancing bodies, Cassian is getting a similar treatment from a pretty, blonde female.

One song morphs into the next, and this one is faster, more frenetic. It spurs the couples around you on, and a sensual charge fills the space as if the damn lute players are strumming an aphrodisiac straight into the room.

Thedis slides his hands down to your ass, and he squeezes, lowering his head to brush his lips against yours.

“Let’s find somewhere more private.” He breathes onto your mouth. And he adds, without filter, “I want to fuck you.”

You tilt your head up, aiming to make contact with his lips.

The kiss never lands.

Everything happens too fast to register. But suddenly, Thedis is on the floor, and Azriel is on top of him, and the shadowsinger’s fist goes flying into his face.

Complete chaos erupts from there. Some people are darting out of the way, while others form a circle around the two males on the ground. The music stops, replaced by loud jeering and whoops of excitement. Azriel delivers a second punch, and Thedis returns it with one of his own, and then they’re rolling on the floor and you don’t know what to do.

“Azriel, what the fuck?” There’s no way he hears you above all the noise. You look around for Rhys, Cass, Kaeda, fucking anyone, but they all must be lost in the fray, the pushing and shoving.

You swear loudly, and you’re jostled this way and that as you push through people and try to reach the fight. You’re shoved forward just in time to see Azriel’s shadows snake around Thedis’s throat and squeeze—

“Azriel!” You snap. You try to grab the back of his shirt, but someone is grabbing the back of yours, trying to stop you from stopping him. You round on the Fenlaros male, shoving him away from you. “Do not touch me.”

And fuck, that’s the worst thing you could have done.

It doesn’t take much for Illyrians to start a fight. Male, female, it doesn’t matter — they’re a violent people, and as soon as you hit them with a punch or a shove, they’re accepting it as a provocation.

Which would be bad enough in Windhaven, where you’ve seen things get out of hand time and time again.

But you’re not in Windhaven. These aren’t your people. You’re in Fenlaros. And there’s now two members of Windhaven going up against two members of Fenlaros.

They take it as an affront from a rival camp.

And all hell breaks loose.

azriel tags: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden @jjlevin @smitty-werbenjagermenjenson @spikertrash @kindagoldylocks @barbiezambie @kht1998 @soupghoul @nyctophiliawitch @gracie1234567891011 @gaymistakeboi @luvmxo @rinalouu @microwaveallthedemons @starlightshowdown

[betterbooktitles]

The first time I ever saw someone answer a cell phone in a movie theater was in the middle of a midnight screening of Mel Gibson’s The Passion Of The Christ. A blood-drenched Jim Caviezel was being whipped when I heard “Hello? Yeah, what’s good? I’m in the movie.” My stomach started to bounce as I tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a laugh. My friend Jeremy elbowed me to either egg me on or stop me, knowing the laughter would catch on with the rest of our group: ten other Saint Ignatius High School students who chose to go on an “Urban Immersion” retreat our senior year.

I saw Mr. Grady’s tear-stained face turn in the darkness. He was sitting a row in front of us, and he appeared to be livid. He let out a sharp “shhh!” then looked over to let us know he’d do far worse if we did anything further to disrupt his viewing experience. Disciplinary actions would be taken if we giggled again. Our trip would be cut short. A teacher threatening to send us all home to our parents that week, however, would have been welcomed.

Most Ignatius students went on “Kairos” retreats (Greek: “God’s Time”) that featured three days of camping and praying, followed by a “witness” portion where students arrived back on campus to share, at the center of St. Mary’s chapel, what they’d learned during their period of reflection. Typically, they said “I love you, Dad!” while fighting back tears before running back to their pews. They also wrote letters about their newfound or newly confirmed love of Jesus Christ. I received one of these letters from my best friend who was a year ahead of me. His words moved and excited me. I anticipated my trip all year.

The students in the movie theater with me that night, however, had all signed up for a retreat in which we spent the week living as if on the streets of inner-city Cleveland. The Urban Immersion retreat was four days of sleeping in a church basement, living off the equivalent of food stamps (about $5 a day for groups of four), and eating the rest of our meals at shelters where we also volunteered our time. There was also a “scared straight” period where we sat in a circle of folding chairs at the 2100 men’s shelter my friend Luke’s dad ran and listened to grown men scream about how “crack does not discriminate!” 

Also, we got to see The Passion of The Christ opening night.

Perhaps you read about the record-setting earnings this movie made the week it premiered. The first $125 million was thanks to big groups like ours attending. Also thanks to the guy who had to answer his phone while the Romans killed Christ. I’m not sure how we as mock-poor kids on our immersion trip were supposed to be able to afford the movie ourselves in keeping with the rules, but the timing seemed right, so our teachers took us.

Read the rest here.

[mitamicah]

Gig report: Käärijä at Böle Arena and Club 05.04.24

It has now been five days since my first Käärijä gig in Finland and my first stadium gig with him as well. In short it was an amazing experience and one of those concerts I probably will keep with me forever. However, there were both great and less great parts of the whole thing.

TLDR; I loved the shows especially because we were able to see Jere live out his Rammstein fanboy dreams and that we got Paidaton Riehuja during the spontaneous DJ booth set which made me cry. However, I was more than once annoyed about security and their lack of communication to the fans.

Disclaimer: this report is written from my point of view. Keep in mind that this is just the opinion of one kääryle and some of these experiences are very much subjective to my unique situation.

My trip to Helsinki was far from ideal. The flight I was meant to take on Friday May 3 2024 was cancelled and so I have to wander around in Copenhagen Airport for eight hours before flying to Stockholm then Helsinki and landing around dinner time instead of the originally plan 9.20 in the morning. For this reason I had to cancel the tattoo appointment I just made and mentally cancel my plans to explore the inner city of Helsinki. Luckily I wasn’t alone since another fan had been scheduled to take the same flight so we hung out together. Our luck didn’t improve however so we caught the Joker Out travelling curse in Helsinki when our bags were missing for half an hour to an hour. Because of this we were only arriving to Pasila station around 8-9 o’clock in the evening.

I blame me having been up very early (2 am), the annoyance of all we’ve gone through and my autism making me like clear cut rules that people actually following for my feelings about the next part. The thing is that we were a group of four going to Böle just to see the venue after eating some Korean/Japanese food to be met by a big group of campers outside the venue. This confused me since the venue had informed on more than one occasion that queuing before 8 am Saturday was prohibited. From what I gather from Elmi (ehaapasalo on ig) that talked to some of the campers the security personnel had given into the campers to be allowed to camp at the venue although NOT at the main entrance. Yet they (the venue) had not make an official statement about this making it so half or more of the fans would not have known about this chance of plans. I was way too tired and it was way too late for me mentally to change my plans so I went to my hotel where I slept horribly given I worried about the queue the entire night.

Next morning I woke up as I’d planned at 5.30 (would’ve been more than enough time had the queue started at 8 am) to be informed through IG group message that there were already 60+ numbers given in the unofficial queue. Already slightly sleep deprived I went to the queue a little past 7 am with a big, lurking cloud (figuratively) over my head. I got number 99.

At 8 am the second big change of plans where announced: Instead of starting giving out official numbers at 11 the security would now ask people to line up so the numbers could be given at 8 am. This change didn’t bother me as much as the previous one but it was still not a great feeling I was left with since this was not clearly communicated before now. We got our numbers (mine was 95) and pretty much 85-90% if not more went home to sleep and/or eat. That meant me that had looked forward to hang out and meet people in the queue felt I was getting even more punished for following the rules.

Because of this and my foolish hope of getting Käärijä to notice my sign asking for a tattoo, when a fan told me there were still tickets to the day show I ended up buying one for myself. (and so I ended up with yet another number being 38). More people slowly starting to arrive after that, and with the company the anxiety and sour taste in my mouth subsided slightly.

The dayshow would start at 3 pm, so we had been asked to be back at 1. The line however only started to form because we (the fans) got impatient at 1.30. Other than that the personnel did alright when double checking our numbers and I’d say getting inside seemed to go smooth and easy so cookie points for that at least.

The day event would be the first (and so far only) time I’ve gotten barricade (however I wouldn’t have it for long since I allowed two squeaks fourth of my height to stand in front of me – it was an all-ages show after all). I was standing next to @duekko a bit to the right of the stage yet still somewhat close to the middle and we had a lovely time waiting (and enjoying the concert) together I’d say.

The show itself was amazing- I loved seeing Jere fulfill all his Rammstein fanboy dreams with amazing outfits, outfit changes, pyro, smoke and silly gags. I especially enjoyed hearing People’s Champion (laughed my ass off seeing häärijä in the mushroom hat) live for the first time and the Tequila interlude and having the dancers around for Huhhahhei, Kot Kot (although in chicken costumes) and of course Cha Cha Cha was a treat.

The one thing that might have slightly made the experience less enjoyable for me was definitely my own fault. The barricade seemed miles away from the stage (to make space for pyro) and it was so dark that you could not see anything from the stage (I believe). That meant that no matter how much I tried it was definitely not going to work out with having Jere notice my sign. I did try both here and at the evening event yet I felt much more in the way and self conscious about it than I had hoped. So that slightly coloured my experience since I personally like to be as little aware of myself when I’m at a concert as possible. It also seemed that Jere were a bit nervous (understandably so) inbetween songs having to keep to a schedule yet as soon as the songs started he was back in performance mode and seemed to have a great time so that was lovely to see.

After the day show I got about an hour of queuing with people again which was lovely yet far from enough to speak to everybody I wanted to. A third little annoyance with the security arrived when we were lining up for the evening and then got the message to go inside 15 min before but just stay inside awkwardly in our queue until the doors opened for real. That truly was a strange experience and I have no idea what the security was thinking. Of course somebody in front started running as soon as we was allowed to move so to not getting stampeded everybody had to move. This whole chaos ended with me getting a way better spot than I’d imagined (third row a bit to the right yet still closer to the middle than in the day show). In some ways I think this spot was better than the day show at least in terms of the angle I was looking at the stage from.

The support band from the evening show was decent yet I am not sure they’d be added to my spotify playlist anytime soon. The evening show felt a lot like the day show just turned up to eleven with Erika joining for Rouska (as expected yet still very much appreciated) and songs like Rock Rock (the original version) and Menestynyt Yksilö being added to the setlist. Before Urheilujätkä (that was also being played at the day show) we held a little memorial for Hanna which made me teary eyed. We also got Cha Cha Cha twice this time which gave me big flash backs to the Europe tour which is only a good thing. (but yeah again my sign quest was a dud).

After the concert I was able to meet Aarni which was really cool (I went into big golden retriever puppy mode so by the off chance you are reading this Aarni, I am sorry for being so in your face x’D). I got a picture with him and gave him three stickers so he could give some to Jere and Häärijä (later in the evening I met him again and he confirmed that the boy had indeed gotten the stickers). My sidequest did cost me a setlist however but that is okay because Anniina (@formulalakana) got it instead which I am more than happy about (you may have seen it going around since it is the one with the Bojan picture at the bottom).

Joining the afterparty the first I did was finally buying that green hoodie I’d wanted since the Stockholm gig and then I went to buy water since I hadn’t really drunk anything since that morning. Sonny was the DJ of the evening and he played Käärijä songs – new, old, known and unknown – all evening. It was great hearing studio versions of People’s Champion and Ihan Sama yet also just hearing Morgan and Kovis being played on speakers at a club healed my soul.

I ended up joining the dancers just at the right time because 3-4 songs later Käärijä and crew joined the DJ booth to play a very spontaneous extra set for us. This was by far my favourite part of the evening because unlike the stadium shows the vibe was way more personal and intimate and heat of the moment. We bullied Jere into performing Kovis, we got the demo version of Cha Cha Cha, we got Ihan Sama and Punainen Marli. Heck, we even got to hear the new collab between him and Joost called Traffik! Everything seemed to go too well when suddenly a person behind me fainted and we immediately called for the show to stop. While it took a bit for the people on stage and security around to notice we were able to help the person (I really hope they are okay). I will give a few cookies to the security there as well – they seemed to react pretty quickly and professionally in this situation (they’d also actually been taking us seriously during the concert when asking for water unlike at Joker Out at Kulttuuritalo day 2 where we had to almost have people fainting before we were allowed water).

The DJ set ended in the most magical way because Jere decided to end with Paidaton Riehuja. Now I am a transmasculine person who like many transmasc kääryleet probably have a very strong connection to this song. Because of that I had been daydreaming about one day being lucky enough to be at a käärijä show where this song would play (preferably after my top surgery) so I could confidently and comfortably throw my shirt off and join Jere being shirtless and just feel the relief of not caring about my looks together with the wind on my chest. I had never imagined this would actually happen and definitely not here at Böle not even half a year into my hrt journey and pre op. Because of the rarity of the moment however I without thinking struggled my way through four layers of shirts to by the half way point of the song stand in only my sports bra howling with the little bit of the voice I had left. When the song was finished it hit me what I’d just done (for context: this is the first and only time I’ve willfully stripped down shirtless in public after coming out and the first time as long as I can remember I’ve been this unclothed and felt completely safe about it). I cried. And that is a first. I have never cried at a concert like that- always after the fact. So this is the one moment that make it so I think I will remember Böle forever. (I also cried at least two more times after exiting the dancefloor). Before exiting the danceflor however somebody next to me found a flower pin that they thought was mine (it wasn't) that I ended up taking with me home - so if anybody lost a flower that day (you can see it in the picture below) and what it back feel free to let me know :'D xD.

I stayed till the end of the evening chatting with new and old friends and dancing with strangers. I at one point saw Jesse yet was not fast enough to get over to meet him. I didn’t managed to meet everybody else yet heard about others having amazing moments with the guys which made me very happy for them (even if I myself also felt a bit sad that it hadn’t been me but you cannot get everything).

In the end I’d say Käärijä was a good first gig for the venue yet there are things they can definitely approve such as their ability to communicate and stick to what they have put out there as the official rules to make it the fairest for everybody involved.

As always I thank all of you for the amazing stickers, bracelets and other gifts I got this evening!!! (I got 23 bracelets which has definitely broken the last record which was held by Joker Out in Helsinki day 2). It was amazing meeting you all, taking pictures with you, getting excited with you, dancing and laughing with you and just overall sharing this amazing time together.

For the ones that are curious I did manage to get my tattoo appointment rescheduled for Sunday (that will probably be its own post) and because of that I also had time to add in a spontaneous tattoo to celebrate the milestone that is me being comfortable enough to take off my shirt first time in public. The rest of the trip in Helsinki was spend going on a Käärijä related solo tourist tour that you may-may not have seen me post about already.

Thank you for reading this gig report and I hope to see some of you again in July.  

[spin4trout]

Desolation Wilderness

This week, I was off to California to backpack in Desolation Wilderness with my friend Roger Mason. We certainly picked a week of challenging weather for our trip.

Our hike started out fine, but by the end of the first day we were experiencing a significant snow squall. We managed to get the tent up at Lake Lucille before it got too wet and cold but it still wasn’t a very pleasant evening. I wore every layer of clothing I brought and was barely warm enough until I crawled into my sleeping bag at the end of the day.

The next day was pretty nice, and we spent it camped at Susie Lake. That spot is my favorite place to camp in the world (so far). I’ve stayed there several times, and I hope to do it again some day.

We did a little fishing after dinner. Roger caught five brook trout and I caught one.

I had a little weather radio with me and from it we learned that storms would be rolling through over the next two days. Because of that, we decided to cut our trip short. The next morning, we hightailed it out of the wilderness by the shortest route possible, even though that put us miles away from our vehicle.

It started to rain and then snow just as we exited to the alternate trailhead. There was no cell service so we couldn’t call for a ride. But luckily for us, an extremely nice couple from Brighton, MI was passing through and offered to give us a ride back to our car.

It ended up taking about 40 minutes of driving through the snowstorm on mountain roads to get us there. The roads were so slippery we were worried about getting back to the highway in our rental car, but we made it OK.

It wasn’t the trip we planned but we ended up with some good stories to tell.

[lutethebodies]

Cannor x Minthara Duo Run: Three Days We'd Stay

Check out the Cannor Solo Duo tag for previous entries.

The Duo Run returns with another belated post of Three Days In Act Three (cue the Jane's song). Notes and screencaps for in-game Days 28-30 below the cut:

The unexpected discovery of Jaheira's dead body in our power couple's Rivington camp meant Day 28 wasn't done after all. Passively argumentative, dejected, and caked in dirt, they warped to the tombstone shop but the lock was impassable without a password. Fine, guess Dolor is on the docket for today. Cannor and Minthara sought Devella at the Elfsong (remember, they'd ignored the temple-murder quest starter) and got the go-ahead from her.

On a whim, they stopped at the Society of Brilliance en route to camp, but found (for my first time) the entire place soaked in blood thanks to Ptaris, the gith-egg baby. Found him by the basement dock (which I'd also never visited before) and persuaded him to not kill us. Looted the society lodge after, then did the same for Lavernica's basement (Cannor needed that +1 shield), Crimson Draughts (Araj wasn't there, even though we'd left her alive in Act 2), Danthelon's basement in Wyrm's Crossing (because no Jaheira means no Harperganger ambush), Faygo's (for miscellaneous gear), and Sharess' upstairs (to harass Raphael again and empty all the wardrobes).

Only then did our heroes deign to get violent on this day, defeating the shapeshifers beneath the Open Hand Temple. Going topside to the circus, Cannor and Minthara accidentally set half the performers (including Lucretious and Popper!) against them by sloppily failing a lockpick check (trying to keep the displacer cage shut). The Dribbles quest was now happily needless. Returned to the lower city and camped near the wine festival. At night, Yenna (who'd made her way to camp despite repeated refusals) was abducted by Orin.

Day 29: Shouldn’t have slept on the wine festival; Dolor escaped. Our power couple then took on a crazy fight at Facemaker’s (for me, the first time in a long time) but the little clothier was saved and forever grateful. With more loot sold, our heroes entered the Bhaal hideout for Sarevok. Amazingly, Cannor pickpocketed him twice via invisibility and freed Valeria. Sneaked out of the crypt, picked a fight with the death knights on the way out, and barely beat them. Short-rested and went after the blood ghosts, but escaped without fighting Sarevok since no Irresistible Dance scrolls were at hand. Purchased same at Sorcerous Sundries and camped in the tombstone shop to take him on the next day.

Day 30: Cheesed the shit out of Sarevok first thing, using (in order) ranged Branding Smite, Otto's Irresistible Dance, Sunbeam, four divine smites (action surge rules), ilithid charm reactions, another Irresistible Dance scroll, another Sunbeam. Even then Cannor and Minthara were still a bit short of Level 11. Sold all the crazy-heavy (and crazy-valuable) loot to the Lower City Central Wall traders, then (on another whim) dug up the beach cache before warping to Wyrm's Crossing and unloading junk and unused potions. Used a looted pass to get into the fortress (hello again Blaze Elin, you're the hottest yet chillinest cop we've ever met), then eluded the Steel Watchers via Invisibility and sneaked into the prison to free Florrick. Finally hit Level 11 after disintegrating one of the guards (then dashing away instead of wasting our time on the others).

After Florrick promised her help in the fight to come, our heroes returned to the Lower City, delving into the sewers to find the Bhaal temple. Along the way, Minthara introduced a new word (alurlssrin) to Cannor's vocabulary. They celebrated by chugging more Invisibility potions to sneak past the meddlesome Farslayer Trial, then disarmed all the blood traps to enter the temple. Made short and bloodless work of Orin, using a Telekinesis scroll to throw her off the nearby cliff; for her remaining hostile cultists, speed potions, trip/disarm attacks, many-targets arrows, smokepowder bombs, fireball, and sleet storm sufficed to dispatch them in a few more rounds. Returned topside and camped near Facemaker's. At night, Cannor finally showed pity on Yenna and let her stay at camp—perhaps because Minthara's toxic kisses finally had an effect on him.

So, only three in-game days into Act 3, one Chosen is already defeated. I think we're gonna linger a bit in camp and then explore the entire two regions some more before blowing up the foundry and getting cut off from the fortress. But that's another story for another time.

[cosmic-obsidian-poetry]

Ben 09.09.24

Although we knew you could not stay

and we hold no bitterness

towards you for going

when you felt you had to,

you have missed so much.

We will always be grateful for the time we had. How grateful we were to

have you in our lives.

Even if it was cut years too short.

But you never got to meet our dog.

Watch the monstera you gave me grow.

You were so worried I’d let it die.

But it’s thriving.

You never got to see us get engaged.

You missed him turning 30.

And 31.

An age you will never grow older than.

We always think of you.

And always will.

With every camping trip we plan.

With any milestone we achieve.

The ones you were meant to be there to see.

We will always think of you.

And always will.

With every problem we face.

We turn to eachother and say

“Ben would have known what to do.”

Because you would have.

You always knew what to do.

We will save you a seat at our wedding.

We will forever grieve the memories

We were all meant to make.

The trips away.

The doofs before we got too old.

Upgrading the the 4x4s.

The chats until 4am next to a campfire.

Having beers in the back yard

over the bbq.

You would have been his best man.

But I know you would have been proud.

Of him. Your best friend.

Of the man he’s become.

Of the love we share.

Of all the memories we’ve made in your name.

And I think if you would have known.

Truely known.

The love you were leaving behind.

Maybe, just maybe

you would have stayed a little longer.

We would have held you a little tighter.

And we forgive you.

And We will never forget you.

We will always keep your memory alive

and tell every passing soul about you

that is willing to listen.

Your name will never leave this house.

- M.T

[pentuppen]

The Red Right Hand [Rugan & OC]

Chapter 8: Bloody Stories

Well after yesterdays epic fail to write anything of worth, I came back today with a vengeance!

A big old dose of thankyou to all the supportive comments and enthusiasm about the small world I'm building. it's amazing how a comment or message can sweep away the cobwebs!

(It helps if you post the right friggen chapter pen!)

By the time he got back to camp, Holt and Omari had begun digging a few feet into the woods, while Trip was bandaging Marnae’s hand. She caught his eye and her grim expression indicated to the small bloody figure sat with her back against the cart. His shoulder still ached like a bastard, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep, but he couldn’t leave her like that, still masked in blood with those eyes staring off into gods knew where.

He headed for the back of the cart, where Trip already had the Doc’s big trunk open, and rifled around inside, coming up with what he needed easily enough and tucking it all into a bag at his belt. He gave Marnae a once over, the Mezzroan squeezing her bandaged hand into a fist to indicate she wouldn’t be stopped by something as inconvenient as a bolt to the hand, earning a roll of the eyes from Trip. He found himself grinning despite his mood, it would take a rampaging dragon before the monk would ever give pause, and even then he’d be conflicted on who his money would be on.

He got a really good look at the Doc when he bent down to her level, the shock white of her eyes pretty damn stark amidst all the red. She didn’t so much as flinch when he carefully pried her fingers from around the dagger she still held tightly, but small as she was, it was like pulling apart steel. He passed it off to trip when he finally got it free, who in turn passed him some fresh clothes and pointed to a short path into the trees where the stream cut through the woodland.

“All right love, up you get.”

[bobbinacrossafricatake2]

Oh what a beautiful morning!

June 7 & 8, 2024

Our last two mornings on safari and we did ok (to say the least). On departure day from Cherero, We had breakfast scheduled for 6:30 AM, and since we’re obsessively punctual, we finished getting ready in the room and headed to the common area. One of the security guys met us part way, and escorted us not to the main tent, but to a freshly cut plot out in the plain. The table was beautifully set, and there we had a yummy breakfast as the sun rose in the distance. Wow. Our hosts bid us farewell and Anaeli made a point of letting us know that the team has been together for about a year. It’s unusual not to have more turnover. Their synchronization showed. We headed out across the plain, slowly toward the airstrip for our hand over to the Namiri Plains Camp folks. The high grasses looked particularly beautiful in the golden light of morning, soon to be eaten as the migration makes its way to Morumba Plain. It made us think of the Oklahoma song: Oh what a beautiful morning - just with grass vice corn! We also noticed, as we have all along in the Serengeti, the scale of the many flowers - tiny pops of color - scattered against the vastness of the plains. As we crossed via the secondary roads on our way to the primary road, we spotted various animals just waking up. Along the remainder of the drive, a lion giraffes, antelopes, jackals, and myriad other creatures including fighting dikdiks and banded mongooses. Periodically, as he has done all along, if we were quiet for too long, Anaeli would call back to us: “How’re you doing?” Love that about him. We also noticed that over our three days in the west, the roads have improved considerably from the soggy, post-rains state they were in when we arrived - no more risk of getting stuck in the mud! The western Serengeti and Anaeli have been good to us. Such a treat to have had the same guide - and a really good one - for five days running.

At the airstrip, Anaeli spotted Innocent from Namiri Plains Camp, who he knew and gave a good review. Then came probably the most frustrating episode of our trip. Anaeli had gotten us to the airstrip early in case the Asilia people (parent company of Namiri) also got there early. They did, but we had to wait for another trio of guests to arrive via plane. The message that their plane was due to arrive at noon had not been passed along. Their flight was late. We gave the rangers at the airstrip our packed lunches from Cherero, in anticipation of having lunch on arrival at Namiri. It was a confluence of bad communications between camps/companies, and bad choices by Namiri. In terms of the latter, save for a short visit to some hippos to distract us, we were left to sit in the airstrip parking lot for a total of three hours. NOT the way we wanted to spend our second to last day on safari. We started to agitate then got firmer and firmer that this was not acceptable (weren’t there other vehicles - oh no, it’s too far; can’t we leave via the second Namiri vehicle at the parking lot? - oh no, it’s a private booking). Nothing was done. By the time the other guests’ plane got in, we were both pretty pissed off. Thankfully, the new guests (and our safari companions for a day and a half) were lovely: two sisters and their stepmother. We had a pleasant drive to camp, chitchatting and checking out a sight here and there. At camp, we let the managers know that we wanted to have a chat, but please let us enjoy lunch and our afternoon drive first. They already knew about the incident, knew we were unhappy and later were very gracious about taking responsibility and apologizing. At this writing, it remains to be seen if they and Mike, our “Africa guy” will sort out some sort of accommodation for the time lost and frustration. More about what made up for the agony to come….

Lunch was lovely, and we have a “butler” (waitress), Zawadi, who is delightful with a good sense of humor. We barely had time in our room and were off on our afternoon game drive. Innocent, our guide, is paired with Ally, a guide in training, and they do well together. Innocent described this drive as “window shopping” for the serious shopping the following day. Our first sighting was a big ellie, doing some unmentionables, and his buddy, in the background, knocking over a tree. It’s a toss up which was more interesting: the birds or the migration. Our vehicle mates are serious bird peeps so we stopped many times to check out fun varieties to include the especially beautifully lovebirds, superb starling, lilac-breasted roller, and many more. Since we’ve only randomly focused on birds to this point, it was a really nice diversion. Then we found a large mass of wildebeasts moving in formation. It was a different perspective of the migration than what we saw the other day. It’s a force of nature moving along, some running but in a somewhat organized line. And it never stops. They kick up a cloud of dust not unlike PigPen of Peanuts fame. At one point, Innocent drove into the middle of them so we were totally surrounded. A few momentary fights, a few pairs mating, babies calling out for their mamas…. it was a scene that is impossible to describe. While often the wildebeasts are mixed with zebras, in this case the zebras were only on the fringes of the herd. During a good part of it three hyenas were casing the situation, but left without taking action. We won’t forget this in a hurry. On the way back, on the amazing flat plains that go on forever, we’d see rock outcroppings so interesting that they’re like sculptures with trees on the side and on top. Innocent pointed out the Rock Fig trees that grow out of cracks in rocks. Very cool!

From the drive we went straight to the fire pit for a glass of wine. With a dead tree hovering above - another work of nature’s art - the setting looking back at the lodge was beautiful. We loved the fact that the guides came down and joined us, chatting about the day and mixing it up a bit. Even the second (private) guide from the dreaded airport parking lot sat down next to Jill and checked in before his (photographer) guest arrived. After dinner, golf cart back to the room - not too bad of service, given our tent is the furthest away.

The beauty of yesterday morning was all about the surroundings. Today, the beauty of the aminals was off the charts. And that’s saying a lot after four weeks on safari. Ally picked us up in a golf cart at 6:15 AM and when Patricia, Christina and Terri arrived moments later, off we went for our serious (animal) shopping morning. And what a morning it was. We thought we had hit the jackpot when Innocent spotted three cheetahs brothers. Stunning creatures, we watched them sit and keep watch in every direction for a while, then tracked them as they walked, sometimes side by side but more often in a like heading to, well, who cares where they were headed. They were wonderful to watch. Indeed it was just a quick little purchase on our shopping trip in the Eastern Serengeti (Maasai word for Endless Plain). The main events were ahead. We saw a (spread out) group of 4 adult lions and a female. Over the morning, our team dubbed them Scarface (the ugly, scarred one), Pretty Boy (the stunner), Lover Boy (hanging close to/claiming the female), and The Guard (keeping watch). We had great views of them hangin’ out, moving about, and of note: taking serious action in intentioned walking and roars to scare off another male interloper. Innocent had us laughing when he put words to the growls… “Whose land is this? Mine, mine, mine”, as a lion sounds. (You really have to hear it.). The intimidation worked, so no blood had to be spilled. Well, no lion blood today.

On the morning went, with several more views of cheetahs, some great zebras drinking at a watering hole (with zebras around for miles!) some jackels (renamed wolves, as they’ve been re-categorized), a hippo and buffalo in a pond, and a pretty little lizard sunning himself and doing by a few pushups every time he changed position . The highlight of the morning was when Innocent found under a tree in the shade a mama cheetah and five cubs. They were about two months old, so so so so so so adorbs! They were sometimes playful, sometimes sleeping with one in particular (the troublemaker) who first tried to climb the tree, and later got stuck in a branch and took many multiple efforts with dangling and reaching legs - to finally tumble out onto the ground. The cubs were fuzzy, inquisitive and playful, sometimes even climbing on their mama. We learned the markings are like honey badgers to intimidate predators… we could actually see it. At times they tried for milk, but mama was having none of it this morning. She was busy keeping watch. She would occasionally make a call and all five would make their way to her. A fantastic sighting that bookended the very first cats that we saw on our first day on safari on our first trip to Africa: a mama cheetah and cubs. Too cool.

While we watched the cheetahs, we heard someone else peeping/crying. So innocent finally tore us away from the cubs to find a set of lion cubs. (A morning on safari is hard pressed to get better than this!!!). They were tucked in some trees by a rock outcropping a short distance away - more difficult to get a full view, but the peeks of them in between branches, snuggling with one another, resting heads on their (huge) paws. Very very fun. They were about three months old, so quite a bit bigger than the cheetahs.

On the way back to camp, we went by the same watering hole where many zebras were availing themselves of a drink, wading in to get the freshest water. The adult lions were nearby and the zebras weren’t even spooked. In case Namiri Plains had not already demonstrated the accuracy of its name (Namiri is the Maasai name for “Home of Cats”), we had one more cheetah sighting before heading in. Indeed: Oh What a Beautiful Morning!!

Lunch, as now expected, was wonderful. We chatted about how lucky we were in having as our last vehicle buddies Patricia, Christina and Terri. A true She-fari, as Patricia dubbed the five when we first met! We’ve enjoyed the banter, their awe in seeing things for the first time, our mutual awe at seeing - well, everything. Short as our interaction was, we hope to be in touch in the future.

We had good time to blog and check photos before heading out on our afternoon drive, sadly, our last safari drive of the trip. It has been forever that we’ve been in Africa, and has also gone by in a flash. Will there be a “take 3” in Africa? Let’s just say it’s not off the table!

The game drive was a good one — hyenas and hyena babies (to round out “baby day”); a cheetah (because one simply can never get enough); load of birds (particularly at a watering hole where Innocent challenged us to find all the birds); and treat of all treats, a serval cat (small and rather bright orange with spots), a rarity. We got back to camp on the late side, but still chilled out at the campfire before dinner. It was there that we picked up some sentiments from various guides implying a (tourism) rivalry between Kenya and Tanzania. Anaeli had first brought this up in the context of the burning of grasses (slows the migrations progress toward Kenya which is not good for their sighting opportunities), one of the many tour organizers we met was skeptical of the concept, and here again, the guides were keen to point out the riches found more in Tanzania than Kenya. Who knows where truth lies?

Patricia was wiped out so packed it in. We had a lovely dinner with Christina, Terri, and Innocent, talking about Africa, safaris, the impact of Covid and more. As we sat at the table on the open patio, Terri spotted movement in the dining room - a Jennet (pretty, cat-like creature, but not a cat) running across the shelves on the wall. There are seemingly endless new animals to see. Lovely, lovely end to our safari time in this fair land.

[starseneyes]

Goodbye Cheryl Anne Marek 1984-2023

If you've been around for a while, you've probably seen me talk about my dear friend Cheryl in my Metas. Well, this morning, she lost her fight with cancer after a 5 year battle.

Under the cut is what I wrote on other Socials to remember her... not by how she died, but how she lived.

CHERYL UPDATE: At 1AM, my beautiful friend left this mortal plane.

I've had so much time to prepare, you'd think I'd be impenetrable, but I admit I'm aching knowing she's gone.

For 5 years, she battled terminal cancer. But I want to share a few memories of how she lived.

Cheryl and I met when we were 11. Gifted kids, both of us. We shared most our Middle School classes.

Middle School was an adventure that we all survived together. Cheryl and I were always friends, even if I don't think either of us would have considered each other a best friend at that point.

We shared a lot of the same friends, so it was natural we hung out together.

By high school, we were both in the chorus. I tried track Freshman year, but there was a snag.

Despite Mom working 18hr days as a film/tv hair & makeup artist, she couldn't afford to give me money for dinner out after track meets.

I babysat, but couldn't earn fast enough.

When I told Cheryl why I had to quit, she offered to pay for my dinners the rest of the year.

It was $7 once a week to Sonic, but to me it was an overwhelmingly kind gift. I wanted to turn it down, but something in me said to accept.

That was Cheryl's first gift.

After Sophomore year, I moved to Virginia. We didn't see each other for nearly a decade until she moved to Virginia—a half hour from me.

We started hanging out, again. Cheryl wanted to do a Fun Run, but I was strapped for cash. She gifted it to me. Another gift.

I had three kids, and when the Littlest was not even a year, I was laid off. I built my freelance career bit by bit, but that first year was tough.

Cheryl saw the strain and took me for dollar tacos every Wednesday. Sometimes the baby joined and flirted with other tables.

I hosted chili cook-offs and game nights, and lots of other fun over the next few years.

Cheryl was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and given 2% odds of living a year.

She missed her commissioning as a Civil Engineer in the military by three weeks. Her Cancer battle began.

The short version is that she beat it… then was diagnosed, again, then beat it, again.

We saw each other as much as her schedule of treatments and trips allowed. You see, Cheryl didn't let Cancer stop her.

She went skiing, ice climbing, adventuring, and built memories.

Cheryl came on a camping trip with me that Matt couldn't make. We had SO much fun… until my Eldest nearly knocked out 4 teeth.

As I sped down the mountain she made calls. When asked how long we'd be, she said, "It won't take long. Rachel's driving like a bat outta hell".

We tried an RV trip together, once (LONG story), and the kids had a marvelous time out on the water with Aunt Cheryl.

One of the last good times before Cancer came back a third time. And still, as she was fighting to finish her Doctorate (she did) and finding ways to help those she loved.

The biggest gift Cheryl gave me was a friend who understood me. She got me. And I got her.

Talking to Cheryl, she understood my drive. My passion. How I'd forget to take care of myself while taking care of others.

Because she was the same way. We were two of a kind.

Our last text exchange was one of gratitude and love. I only hope with all that Cheryl gave me, I gave her something precious in return. Because, golly, I loved her.

Rest in peace, Cheryl Anne Marek. Your fight is over. Your legacy will live on. And I will always love you.

[stevishabitat]

Tonight while I was working (from home in my home office/bedroom/living room), kiddo (11yo) sat on my bed and made fire starters for our upcoming camping trip.

Kiddo looked up some ideas on Pinterest and picked a few to try.

On my short break we watered the garden and collected supplies for the firestarter project.

Kiddo then sat and chipped up old wax, cut up warped taper candles, stripped dried needles off our winter holidays tree (it's been seasoning in the yard since January), broke up dry bark, snipped straw and packing paper into shreds.

In between phone calls, I helped melt the wax chips on my candle warmer and pour over the assembled fire starters.

We had lots of good discussions when I had free moments. Talking about science and nature and plans for the weekend. Kiddo asked about some of my phone calls, and we found locations of callers on my world map wall tapestry.

Kiddo heard me talking to a coworker about ISBN numbers and wanted to know what they're for. So we got out a few books and examined copyright pages and learned how to search isbns on bookstore websites and the library.

We had the white board out and kiddo wanted to show me some Minecraft math they'd done recently to see if it was correct (it was. good luck on those emeralds, kiddo!).

On my "lunch break" we listened to a nature podcast about edible insects (definitely want to try roasting June bugs & cicadas).

Over my six hour shift we covered multiple "school subjects" and a lot of topics that wouldn't necessarily be covered in fifth grade schooling.

Tomorrow we want to try a math formula for determining the age of a tree based on circumference and species growth rate.

We're also going to measure a damaged part of the kitchen wall and cut some drywall to fit - probably won't try to mount it before work. And maybe do some measurements for a cat door to the catio. I really need to borrow a reciprocating saw....

Not sure I can do another six-hour work/teaching combo shift tomorrow. So hopefully I can get kiddo started on an independent project before work.

Guess I'll stay up a bit and look for ideas on Pinterest, lol.

[thatseventiesbitch]

Can you do a prompt where Donna comforts Leia after she gets made fun of at school?

I was watching an ep of young sheldon and Missy was wearing a new skirt and she got made fun of for not having shaved legs. I thought something similar would be a cute idea for a t9s prompt.

Thanks for the ask! I haven't seen the show/episode, but I'm gonna run with the whole idea. 😄 If you have a request, send it to me here!

"Hey, Le-Le," Donna smiled at her daughter as she slid into the passenger's seat. Leia clumped her backpack to the floor between her feet, letting out a huff, and Donna blinked, confused by her apparent bad mood. "Um. Happy last day of school!"

"Is it?" The twelve-year-old growled.

"Well aren't you looking forward to summer?" Donna asked absently, as she navigated their car out of the pick-up lane and back into the busy stream of Chicago traffic.

"I was," Leia said lowly. She leaned her head against the car window dejectedly.

Donna frowned. "What do you mean?" They were paused at a stoplight, and she leaned over to shake her daughter's knee affectionately. "You have a great summer to look forward to. You have band camp starting in a couple of weeks, we're gonna visit your grandparents in Wisconsin for the 4th of July, and then our trip to the Black Hills in August. Remember?" Leia still didn't look at her, so Donna continued. "You can play on the slip n' slide with Marcy. I got a big box of those popsicles you like. And this weekend we can go to the beach - "

"Mom, stop," Leia cut her off, her voice swelling with emotion. "I don't think I'm ever gonna go outside again," she announced dramatically.

"Leia, don't be ridiculous," Donna chuckled, but when she noticed the tears in Leia's eyes, she stopped. "Honey, what's wrong?" Her tone quickly changed to one of concern.

"I - it's - stupid - "

"Tell me."

Leia gave an exasperated sigh, and swiped at her tear strewn cheeks dramatically. "Kelsey and Jasmine m-made fun of my legs," she finally warbled. She pulled at the hem of her jean shorts, self-consciously tugging them further down her thighs.

"What?" Donna furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

"Th-they said they're hairy," she whispered, bowing her head, ashamed. She ran her palm overtop her shin as she spoke, indicating the light colored whisps that had just recently started to sprout there.

Donna started to laugh. "Hairy? Leia, you're not hairy." She shook her head, bemused. "That's just peach fuzz." Then she frowned. "And even if you were. What kind of friends are they?"

"Popular ones," Leia said under her breath.

Donna continued to frown. "Since when do you care about being popular?"

"I don't," Leia's voice broke as she started to cry. "But they started sitting at my lunch table, and they're kinda mean to everybody so I just tried to you know, be quiet and hope they'd leave me alone, but today they said, 'Ew, look at Leia's hairy legs!' in front of everybody and - and - " she couldn't finish through her tears. Donna pulled over onto a side street and parked the car, before embracing Leia.

"Le-Le," she cooed comfortingly in her ear. "I'm so sorry, honey. You don't deserve that." She pulled back to look at her daughter again. "What are their names?" she implored, her eyebrow raised.

"Mom," Leia groaned, already sensing where her mother was going with this. "No."

"Leia, this is bullying, and it's not - "

"I'm already embarrassed enough," she insisted, shaking her head. "You can't tell the school. Besides, it's summer vacation now anyway," she pitched hopefully.

Donna looked at her for a long while before sighing. "Okay. Then you're gonna have to stand up for yourself next time. Deal?"

Leia made a nervous sound in the back of her throat, and began to wring her hands together anxiously. It was a characteristic she'd inherited directly from her father, and it couldn't help but make Donna smile.

"Uh. How do I do that?" Leia gulped.

Donna shook back a strand of her hair with a tilt of her head. "You don't have to be mean back," she advised her daughter. She shrugged. "Say 'Whatever, it's just hair. And you don't have to be mean to people who look different than you. Our lunch table was a pretty nice spot before you started sitting here, and we want to keep it that way, you know?'" She smiled at her daughter with kind eyes. "They'll get the message."

Leia nodded, transfixed by her mom's effortless response. "You think?"

Donna squeezed Leia's arm supportively. "I know they will."

"And you don't think I'm hairy?" Leia bit her lip and glanced down at her legs.

Donna laughed. "I know you're not." She paused. "But, I can teach you to shave if that's what you want."

"Really?"

Donna nodded. "If that's what you want," she repeated. "Not if that's what," she waved her hand dismissively, "Kelsey and Jasmine want."

Leia held her mom's gaze for a few seconds. "I think - I think I want to wait a little bit yet," she said finally.

Donna patted her hand and returned her focus to the steering wheel. "Good choice," she smirked.

[thetrickstersdaughter]

One of my previous posts reminded me that I never share my story of how I learned that I was a demigod daughter of Hermes.

Starting off, my mama knew very well who my father was, but couldn’t tell me for the same reason any mortal parent of a demigod child can’t: it would put me in more danger if I was aware. One of the only times I can vaguely remember Dad coming to visit me at my childhood home was when I was three or four. After that visit, I bugged Mama constantly with questions about where he had gone. She always had a pretty hilarious story as a response: he’s a mailman who got hopelessly lost on his route or he’s doing the Forrest Gump thing and running cross country. Maybe it’s not alright to lie to a child, but I’ll give her a pass in these situations since she always made me laugh.

More under the cut.

Fast forward a few years (6-7 years old), my mama was deployed with the Army to the Middle East. She was a pilot and I love bragging about how badass she is to everyone I know. I went to live with my mama’s parents, Pawpaw Jack (who has since passed away) and my Granny Della. Granny was a big into the Pentecostal denomination, and, without going into too much detail, I experienced some trauma which caused me to run away from home. Hermes kids do have a tendency to be a bit nomadic, after all. I made it to the Kentucky/Tennessee border before encountering my first monster, a drakaina. Having no weapons or other skills to defend myself, I did what I do best and ran. Even with my demigod endurance, it still probably wouldn’t have ended well had the Man with the Van (aka Dad) not yanked me into the back of his mail truck after putting George and Martha into laser mode and cremating the monster.

I personally couldn’t tell you why Hermes chose to intervene as it is hard for me to psychoanalyze my immortal father. Maybe he felt especially bad for me, with what I had been through, and everything that happened with Luke made him feel slightly guilty about how he treated his other kids? I know he’s always loved my mother in his own way, at least he told me they had a lot of fun and he looks back on their moments together fondly. At any rate, I know he took a huge risk personally intervening and taking me to Camp Half Blood himself. Our short time together on our little road trip was one happy memory I couldn’t help but think back to every time I felt I was angry enough to seek revenge.

Since Dad delivered me along with his packages to camp and introduced me as his kid, I didn’t really need to be claimed in the traditional way. There was still a bit of pomp and circumstance though (caduceus floating over my head,” all hail Rebekah Reilly, Daughter of Hermes, Harold of the Gods”, so on and so forth). All of my siblings just accepted me with open arms into our chaotic family and to this day my siblings are some of my best friends and biggest supporters.

[evieismol]

Big Bend Chapter Eleven

A/n: finally getting back to uploading these chapters semi regularly, so excited to have time to work on this story again because it’s such a fun one to write and easton and dave r truly my comfort ocs

Word count: 2415

Content warnings: n/a

Previous chapter

Normally when Abbey came to visit, Hannah was left wracking her mind trying to come up with things to keep the young girl entertained. She always enjoyed seeing her niece, of course, but there wasn’t a ton to do in her small town for adults that was interesting - much less an 8 year old girl. This time, though, Abbey had barely climbed out of the car with her mother, Ella, when she was excitedly asking Hannah to go meet the park ranger from Aphiria.

Yeah, that hiring decision really was a good call on the government’s part for boosting visitation, she thought. She glanced over at Ella, waiting to see her sister’s reaction.

“That could be fun!” Ella said. “You’ve met him, right, Hannah?”

“I have. He’s very nice. Well, if you both want to, I suppose we have something to do this trip!” Hannah said. She paused. “We could even make an overnight trip of it, get my old tent.”

“I want to go camping! Mom, can we go camping?” Abbey said excitedly.

“If you don’t think it’ll be too much trouble, being away from the shop?” Ella asked. Hannah shook her head.

“I had the next three days off anyways, with you two coming to visit.”

“Yes!” Abbey said excitedly. That settled it, and the next morning, Hannah found herself piling her tent and an assortment of other items in the back of her car. Abbey was all smiles, and Hannah thought she seemed far too awake for the early hour.

“What’s he like? Is he really that tall?” Abbey asked.

“Well, you’ll see for yourself in a few hours, won’t you?” Hannah asked.

“Does he have sharp teeth? Kids at my school said Aphirials have sharp teeth. And claws!” Abbey said.

“Don’t ask him about that,” Ella said, shaking her head slightly.

“That’s why I’m asking you!”

Hannah snorted. “Well, he doesn’t have claws. I don’t spend that much time trying to see people’s teeth, though,” she said. Admittedly, she assumed that Easton probably did have sharp teeth, but she hadn’t actually seen them herself. She also thought she’d heard something about aphirials having claws as well, but assumed he possibly just kept them cut short if that was true. That seemed like a fair enough guess, given how much he interacted with humans and how claws would likely only make that more difficult.

“Is he loud? I feel like a giant would be loud. Is he taller than our apartment?” Abbey asked. Ella and Hannah exchanged an amused glance at her endless questions as the three climbed into Hannah’s car. On the way there, Hannah found herself wondering if John would be around again. She guessed yes; it seemed like he generally was in charge of working alongside Easton. When they arrived at the park, it was a little past 8am. Despite that, the entryway was already filling up with cars. Way more than Hannah was used to seeing at that time. They’d barely made it past the gates when the impossibly huge figure that was Easton came into view.

God, I still have not gotten used to that, Hannah thought, her gaze trailing upwards towards the giant’s face, looming above the visitor center. She realized with a jolt she’d yet to see him standing up. Even sitting, he had to be almost a hundred feet tall. Far taller than the three story building that made up the visitor center. She heard Abbey exclaim in excitement as she notice too.

“Oh my gosh, he’s even taller than I thought! Mom, he’s way taller than our apartment building!” Abbey said, pressing her face against the window to get a closer view.

“Yeah,” Ella said, and Hannah got the distinct impression she was trying to keep her voice as level as possible despite the shock.

“He really is super nice, too,” Hannah offered. “He loves flowers.”

They pulled into an empty parking spot, and Abbey had climbed out of the car almost before the engine was shut off.

“Wait for us!” Ella said. Hannah glanced over at her sister, silently asking if she was good with a raised eyebrow.

“I knew Aphirirals were giant compared to us but…”

“Different actually seeing one?” Hannah finished. Ella gave a soft nod. She looked over towards Abbey, who was standing in front of the car impatiently.

“She seems excited, at least.”

Ella pushed open the passenger side door, and the three of them headed towards the visitor center.

They’d scarcely stepped into the patio behind the visitor center when Hannah heard a familiar voice that immediately brought a small smile to her face.

“Hannah!” John walked over to her, giving a friendly wave, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She quickly pushed the feeling away, returning his smile.

“Hey!” She said.

“I really have been meaning to get down to your thrift shop one of these days, I swear,” John said with an awkward laugh.

“Oh, no worries. I’m sure work keeps you plenty busy,” Hannah said,

“That it does,” John said. “It’s a great place to work, though. Who are these two lovely ladies?”

“This is my sister, Ella, and her daughter, Abbey. Abbey’s just been dying to meet Ranger Parks-Easton,” Hannah said. “Ella, Abbey, this is John - he works here at the park.”

Hannah realized she still wasn’t sure what John’s official title was - it probably wasn’t “mysterious operations guy”.

“It’s nice to meet you both,” John said. “So, you’ve been wanting to meet Easton?”

Abbey nodded eagerly. “I told all my friends from school I was going to, they think he sounds so cool!”

“Well, why keep you waiting then,” John said with a friendly smile. “C’mon.”

He gestured for them to follow him over to where Easton was sitting, currently talking with a couple on the rooftop observation deck of the visitor center. Hannah wondered for a moment if Easton would even notice them approaching. They were probably a little smaller than the size of mice to him, afterall, and he seemed pretty engaged in the conversation he was having. A brief glance from him down towards them quickly proved that notion false. She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised. Besides how Aphirials had senses far keener than humans, it made sense that Easton would try to be continuously aware of his environment. He finished talking with the couple, then turned his attention down towards them.

“Hannah! It’s nice to see you again,” he said.

“You too,” Hannah replied. She saw her sister inhale sharply, taking a smaller step backwards.

“Hannah’s sister, Ella, and her niece, Abbey, was it-“ John glanced down at Abbey, who gave an enthusiastic nod. In stark contrast to Ella, she looked like she was bursting with excitement. “Are in town visiting, and Abbey was just dying to meet you, I hear!”

“You’re even more giant than I imagined!” Abbey said. “I mean, it’s nice to meet you,” she amended quickly, glancing back at her mother.

Easton gave a soft laugh. “I’ve heard I am a bit tall,” he said jokingly. “It’s nice to meet you too. Both of you,” he said, glancing over at Ella. Ella gave a restrained nod.

“A bit tall? You’re super tall!” Abbey said. “Like, as tall as some of the really tall buildings in my city. Wait, is it hard for you to hear me? I can be louder?”

Easton shook his head. “I can hear you fine, don’t worry.” He lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “I have super hearing.”

“That’s so cool! I wish I had super hearing. Then I’d know what my mom got me for Christmas when she’s telling Aunt Hannah. Do they have Christmas where you come from?”

Hannah felt an amused smile cross her face watching Abbey talk to Easton. She had been worried her niece might annoy him, but now realized that concern had apparently been unfounded. He seemed as happy to answer her questions as talk to any other guest. She glanced over at her sister, trying to gauge how Ella seemed to be taking this in, just in time to see a sandy haired man in a ranger’s uniform walking up to them. She noticed Easton glance over at him as he approached briefly to, and she thought she saw the man tense at that. That seemed odd; she would have thought someone who worked alongside Easton would be more at ease around him. Like John seemed to be.

“Morning,” the newcomer said, walking up to John. He glanced over to them. “I don’t believe we’ve met - I’m Dave,” he said, extending his hand to Ella and Hannah. They introduced themselves, learning that Dave was another fresh face at the park. John explained that Dave, along with two others, had all been hired at the same time as Easton, as part of the whole joint venture with Aphiria.

“You should probably ask your mom about that,” Easton said, drawing Hannah’s attention back to Abbey.

“Can Easton pick me up, Mom? Please?” Abbey asked. Ella gave an uncertain glance to John and Hannah.

“He’s always very careful, but we entirely understand whatever you’re comfortable with,” John said.

“I can go with her,” Hannah offered, the words slipping out of her mouth in a half whispered voice to Ella before she could fully think them through. While she did think Easton was nice and almost certainly trustworthy, she’d never been the biggest fan of heights. It seemed like it was too late for that, though, because she saw Ella relax slightly at that suggestion. She nodded.

“If your aunt Hannah goes with you,” she said, mouthing a quick thank you to Hannah.

Yep, way too late for regrets, Hannah said, watching Abbey practically jump up and down with excitement at that. How bad can it be? She glanced up at the rooftop of the building, swallowing at how suddenly and simultaneously tall and short it looked compared to Easton. She gave a small shake of her head, hoping to dislodge her creeping anxiety, and walked over closer to Easton, where Abbey stood.

“Thank you Hannah!” Abbey said. “This is going to be so cool!”

“Yeah,” Hannah said. She glanced up at Easton, who gave her a reassuring smile, apparently picking up on her hesitation.

“I’ll only lift you up to the height of the observation deck,” he said. “So, basically, I’ll let you both climb into my hand, and I won’t move until you’re both ready. When I do pick you up, please stay still and stay in the center of my hand, okay?”

“Okay!” Abbey said.

“Got it,” Hannah replied. Easton lowered his hand to the ground, bending over slightly. Hannah once again was struck by just how giant the giant was as she approached his hand. A single one of his fingers was taller than she was. She took that moment to say a silent thank you that he didn’t have claws, whatever the reason for that was - she really didn’t need to be feeling anymore intimidated that she already was.

“So just, climb onto your hand?” She double checked, glancing up at Easton.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, you won’t hurt me,” he joked. She glanced at Abbey, who was smiling brightly beside her, and took a deep breath. It was a very weird feeling climbing onto what was effectively a giant human hand. The surface was warm - alive. The fine details she wouldn’t have normally even noticed were far more apparent at such a scale. A single freckle on Easton’s palm was probably half the size of her own hand. She took another steadying breath, then turned around to help Abbey up. Her niece didn’t seem to share any of her hesitation, instead far too thrilled about the situation to feel any fear.

She and Abbey got settled as much in the center of Easton’s palm as they could, and then she looked up at him.

“Okay, we’re ready,” she said.

“Wonderful!” Easton said. He lifted them up far more slowly than she’d been expecting, much to her relief, and stopped level with the roof just as he’d said she would. She looked out the park, and then glanced up at Easton.

He’s got to have an amazing view, she thought.

“You two still alright?” Easton asked.

“This is so cool!!” Abbey said. “It’s like that scene from King Kong. I mean, but not scary, of course.”

“Well, I’m glad it’s not scary,” Easton said. If he knew what King Kong was, or was bothered by being compared to a monster movie, he didn’t show it.

“It is really pretty up here,” Hannah admitted, gazing out at the vast wilderness that surrounded them.

“It’s a gorgeous park,” Easton agreed, following her gaze. “I’m really glad I got to come work here.”

“Do you eat whole cows?” Abbey’s question shattered the moment of silence looking out at the landscape, and Hannah wasn’t sure whether she should laugh at the timing or remind Abbey to be polite. Easton took it in stride, giving a slight shake of his head.

“I’m a vegetarian,” he said. “So, I don’t eat any cows. Whole or otherwise.”

“I knew Max was making that up. He’s a boy in my class, and he thinks he knows everything, but I knew he was wrong,” Abbey said. Easton chuckled at that.

“Well, you can tell him the only thing I eat whole is salads,” Easton said.

“I wanted to be a vegetarian one time. I like bacon too much, though,” Abbey said.

“I’ve heard bacon is pretty good,” Easton agreed. Abbey nodded.

“It’s really good.”

By the time Easton lowered them back to the ground, Hannah was feeling far more at ease than when she’d initially climbed onto his hand. Both from getting used to the situation and the careful and cautious way he treated them. Abbey hopped off, running over to her mom.

“That was so cool! He’s like, the best park ranger ever!” Abbey said. Her mom smiled, also seeming more relaxed - most likely because they were both safely on the ground again. Hannah was close behind Abbey, stopping to thank Easton for both being so careful and humoring Abbey’s questions.

“Of course! She seems like a good kid,” Easton said.

“She really is,” Hannah said.

“So, how was it?” John asked.

“Not as terrifying as I thought it would be,” Hannah said with a short laugh. She glanced back at Easton. “Not as terrifying at all.”

[stewardofningishzida]

Chapter 10: Into the Abyss

This chapter is a bit intense. It’s our little foray into atmospheric/cosmic horror. So…Lemme put a few disclaimers. Yes, this chapter is also a collaboration. =)

TRIGGER WARNING: Near-death experiences, mentions of death, claustrophobia, scary caving/spelunking, getting lost, mining accidents, minor injuries (cuts and bruises), mentions of old-timey racism (mild, but still present), and darkness.

Disclaimer: DO NOT DO THIS. YOU COULD DIE. EVEN PROFESSIONALS WHO DO THIS FOR A LIVING HAVE DIED DOING THIS. EXPLORING ABANDONED MINES IS DANGEROUS. THERE ARE A TON OF HAZARDS. STAY OUT OF ABANDONED MINES.

Rated: T for language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*In the morning, we all meet up in my driveway at 8 am, ready for our search.*

Me (running through the checklist):  Okay.  We have everything, right?

Tear: *Frowns down at the gear spread out and neatly organized* I would think so… I still think I could have brought more food though… *Points at the rather bountiful display of lunches*

*Stephen checks through it as well, carefully testing a few things cautiously.*

Trix: I brought some walkie talkies! I had them for camping and thought they could come in handy! I also brought a lawn chair cause, y’know, it might take a while

Me:  Good!  Okay.  Hmm…Not sure if the walkies will work far underground, but we’ll try ‘em.  Oh!  Also, Trix, take this whistle.  It can be heard up to a mile away.  Each of us will have one.  One blast just indicates where you are.  Three short blasts is an SOS signal.  Got it, guys?

*Stephen nods.  I hand out the whistles.*

Tear: Perfect! Now on to the fun part because I left the best for last. *I untie a plastic bag from my backpack and start handing its contents out* I found a pair of wishing wands I got for my sister the last time we went to Disney World, they light up quite well and I got them new batteries. I also have two extra pairs of neon Mickey ears so we can always spot each other in the dark… aaand I knew Stephen was going to make that face, so I got you glowstick necklaces instead although I won’t stop you if you wanna wear the ears. *I slip on my own headband with neon Mickey ears, completing my outfit that includes light-up shoes and a glow-in-the-dark Disney backpack*

*The sorcerer in question raises an eyebrow at her with an odd expression.*

Stephen:  “Wishing wands”?  

Tear: *Pulls out a plastic wand with a big star on its tip* They always sell them right before the fireworks show. Too much? I figured it would be difficult to get lost down there if we were all glowing like jellyfish… *I turn the wand on and it glows bright blue, complete with the magical noise of pixie dust*

Stephen (looking at her funny):  Erm…maybe a bit, but understandable.

Trix: Oh shit I have some glow ears at home, I could match the aesthetic. But great call! We don’t have actual magic so commercialized magic shall be our guide!

Tear: You can have the extra pair of ears if Stephen won’t wear them *Hands them over to Trix*

Stephen (awkwardly):  Okay…

Trix: Sorry, a bit enthusiastic to get answers and a lifelong Disney nerd.

Me:  All right.  Since we have everything and a bit extra, let’s go.  I told Hank we’d meet him at the mountain pass by 10:30 am.

*We all pack the car and get in.  The drive is about 2 hours and the last hour is pretty rough due to the dirt roads.  Stephen does his best, but since now we’re in the middle of nowhere, he asks to get out and uses the Cloak to fly next to the car for the rest of the trip, only getting back in before we can come within sight of Hank.*

*Hank is a hairy, slightly short man with thick-rimmed glasses and a warm grin.  He’s wearing jeans, checkered flannel, a cowboy hat, and steel-toed boots.*

Hank:  Hey!  Glad you made it here okay!  

Me (grinning back):  Thanks for having us, Hank.  Is the caretaker in town?

Hank:  Yeah.  He’s really busy, though.  Working at the new museum he made in the old saloon.  Doing curator stuff at the moment.  So, you guys wanted to see the mine?

Me:  Yeah.  Just a look around for a few hours.  Nothing too major.

Hank:  You all going down?

Me:  Just me, Tear, and Stephen.  Trix is going to help you operate the lift.

Hank:  Nifty.  I’ll show you how it works.  It can be a tempermental beast at the best of times.  I’ll give you a run down while we walk and then show you a few times before we get started.

Trix: Sure! I have to fight some sort of beast today to keep my morale high!

Hank:  That’s the spirit!  

*He walks us into the town while talking to Trix about the mechanisms of the lift.  It’s definitely a generous definition of a “town”.  There are several dusty wooden buildings with tin roofs, quite a few piles of rubble that were once cabins, a burned-out husk of a building, and it’s quiet.  Not to mention a bit of a chill in the air despite the harsh sunlight.  Stephen is subtly scanning the area, trying to detect anything there.  The caretaker notices us and comes out of the saloon to greet us.  He’s a very skinny man with scraggly red hair wearing boots, an open flannel shirt, a dirty t-shirt underneath, and jeans.  He has unnaturally white and large teeth as well as sunken eyes and pronounced cheekbones.  Not only that, but his eyes themselves are incredibly wide-open, giving him a permanently-surprised expression.*

Caretaker (waving):  Hello there!  So, up for a bit of exploration?  You got safety gear and everything?

Hank:  We’re all set, Andy.  

Caretaker:  All right.  You be careful…There’s more than just old dynamite down that mine…*The way he said it implies something.  There’s something a bit off about Andy.  He’s getting twitchy.*

Stephen:  What do you mean?

Caretaker (slightly taken aback):  Just…be careful is all.  *He’s evasive, as though he knows something, but doesn’t want to say it out loud.*

Trix:……Well have fun down there guys. I’ll be sitting up here with my baseball bat.

Tear: I’m starting to wish I brought a pair of lightsabers too…

Me:  We’ll do our best to be safe, Trix.  Hank, you good?

Hank:  All good here.

*The caretaker grins widely at us with his huge, white teeth before waving and backing into the saloon, watching us.*

Me:  Erm…Everyone ready?  *I’m nervous, but swallow it down silently to hide it.*

Trix: Good luck!

*Stephen, Tear, and I get onto the lift.  Trix and Hank talk over what to do and then turn it on to lower us down.  The 100 year old, rusty leviathan lurches into life with an unholy, slow grinding of massive gears.  The cables unwind lazily and the lift starts moving with a pained screech.  The surface of the earth rises gradually above our heads as we lower into the inky blackness of the main shaft.  Said platform is just a rickety cage of rust with a wooden plank floor and very primitive brakes on either side of the railing.  The walls of the shaft are mere inches from the edges of the lift.  To make matters worse, the lift occasionally gets stuck on the timbering for a second before suddenly plunging down a foot or so in a split-second freefall.  The circle of light above us gets smaller and smaller.  I’m trying to keep my cool.  Though, I’m holding onto the railing so tightly my knuckles have turned white.  My jaw is clenched.*

Tear: *The descent underground is not as unnerving as the sudden drops from the lift. At the first hint of vertigo, I clench my teeth hard and latch on to Steward’s backpack to help me keep my balance* Ave Maria purisima que estas en el cielo… *I close my eyes and cling on for dear life, letting out little squeaks every time the lift freefalls*

*We eventually reach the bottom of the shaft.  It felt like an eternity.  I take a deep breath to calm myself down and lightly pat Tear’s hand both to soothe her and let her know the descent is over.  Then, I gesture for Stephen and Tear to plug their ears, then use the whistle to indicate to Trix and Hank that we’re okay.  When I hear Trix blow her whistle back, I know that it’s all clear.*

Me:  Okay.  Let’s leave 4 glowsticks here to indicate that this is where the lift is.  Then, we’ll proceed.  If you guys hear echoes, it’s hard rock and safe.  If things sound muffled, it’s soft rock ready to collapse.  Also, if you see any old dynamite, we all have to be quiet and either turn back or go silently around it.  That stuff gets more unstable over time and leaks nitroglycerine.  It’s so sensitive that even a loud noise can set it off.  As for water, if it flows, we’re good.  Still water…don’t disturb it.  There might be poisonous gas.  That’s the safety briefing.  Follow me so I can scout ahead and make sure it’s safe.  All right?

*Stephen nods.*

Tear: Okay, we’ll follow your lead. Are we setting any sort of time limit for how long we’re going to spend down here?

Me:  Hank and Andy set it.  We have 5 hours.  Andy usually spends around 8 to 12 hours down here at a time, but since we’re new here, he didn’t want us stuck for too long.

Stephen:  Are you sure you remember everything?

Me:  Yes.  I double-checked earlier.  *Sets my watch alarm for 2 hours and then 4 hours and 30 minutes so we can be here early just in case.  The first one is a warning for the time limit.  The second one is to get our butts into the main shaft so we can get in the lift.*

Tear: Alright~ *Switches flashlight on* Into the unknown we go.

*I turn on my headlamp and set the 4 glowsticks.  It’s in a small pile on the lift platform so it can be obvious and visible.  Then, I carefully advance into the tunnel ahead.*

Me:  Stay within sight.  Otherwise, at least within earshot so I know you’re both okay.

Stephen:  Understood.

*I look around as we proceed, dropping glowsticks every 100 feet or so, keeping them on the left-hand side to indicate our path downward.  That way, when we need to ascend, they’ll be on the right-hand side to show the correct direction.  There are cracked timbers and rusty pieces of track in various areas.  Also, the occasional old bucket or empty dynamite box.  There’s a slight crunchy noise that differs from the gravelly passage.  I look down and pick up a yellowed old newspaper from 1933.  It’s an article about the dust bowl.  Apparently, someone got bored down here.  There are some black carbide scribbles on the paper, giving a big curly mustache to one of the people in the newspaper photos.  I smirk.*  

Me:  People never really change, do they?  

Tear: *Peers down at the paper* Huh, 1933. You know, that’s the year Hitler reached government. News about his speeches kept popping up in the papers that year. This could have been a nice piece of history if it still had its front page.

Me:  Want to keep it so we can take it up with us?  I figure Andy might want to put it in his new museum project.

Tear: *Shrugs* Sure, if he’s interested in this stuff.

Stephen:  Wait a minute…*He seems to be focusing.*  …I’m still uncertain about this place, but I feel…something.  It’s difficult to pinpoint.  We should keep going.

*I raise an eyebrow curiously.*  

Me:  Okay…Tear, watch out for that puddle.  We don’t know what might be in it.

Tear: I know you mentioned gas before, but I can’t help but think of the Guardian outside the Mines of Moria.

*I curl my lip, morbidly amused.  We go deeper in.  There are several branches coming off of the main shaft.  Some are collapsed.  Then, a sudden chasm emerges from the darkness.  We can’t see the bottom.  I throw a rock and we listen for the impact.  It takes a few seconds to fall all the way and the impact is faint.*  

Me:  Holy crap…Okay.  Let’s check the other areas first and if they’re dead ends, I’ll show you how to rappel, Tear.

Tear: Haha, yeah, well… Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. Let’s look around some more.

Me:  All right.  Let’s see.  Want to go right or left?

Tear: Stephen? Got a better grasp on those vibes you mentioned yet?

Stephen:  We’ll attempt to go left.

Me:  Left, it is.  

*We explore the left corridor.  Unfortunately, it’s collapsed.*

Me:  Okay…Let’s see the right side.  

*We turn around and go right.  It leads in a half-circle, attaching back to the main shaft.*

Me:  …Oh.

*I look at them.*

Me:  Sorry…Looks like we’re going down.

Tear: I thought I would be safe from heights if I went underneath the hill instead of on top of it. *I peer down the tunnel, to where the drop is waiting for us a few feet ahead. I can’t even bring my feet to inch closer before I’m already sweating buckets* I’m not particularly strong, and–and what if I slip? I’ll be useless to you with a broken leg…or worse, a broken head! *Whines* Steward…!

Me (doing my best to be calm and reassuring):  I’ll make sure we’re safe.  Don’t worry.  Now, Tear, pay close attention to what I’m about to show you.  This is how to securely place a climbing bolt and tie the correct knots on the line and harness.  

*I show her each step carefully while explaining, making her follow along with me and answering any questions.  I test the rig to make sure it’s secure before putting the harness and helmet on.*  

Me:  Okay.  One last thing…Please, for the love of all that is holy, pick up any loose rope aka slack on the line you see and hold it.  That way, if I slip, I don’t fall or get tangled in it.  My last partner got distracted and forgot.  I was nearly hanged.  We don’t climb together anymore.  So, please…Stay focused.

Stephen:  Wait.  The Cloak can lower us.  However, the belay system is a decent backup.  

*I look relieved.*

Me:  Okay.  Let’s do it, then.

Tear: *Slumps against the tunnel wall in relief with a hand over my heart* Oh, Stephen santísimo, bless your smart, beautiful soul. I’d trust the Cloak over my own hands any day. Are you willing to help us out, Cloak?

*The Cloak comes off of Stephen and onto my shoulders.  It picks me up and carefully lowers me into the chasm.  My headlamp has become little more than a pinprick.  Several seconds later, Stephen and Tear hear me shout up from the darkness.*

Me:  All clear!

*I pat the Cloak gratefully.*  

Me:  Thanks, Levi.  

*The Cloak brushes my cheek gently before leaving my shoulders and picking up Tear.*

Tear: Whoa! Please, please, please no sudden drops. I will scream at you so hard if you do.

*It lowers her down nicely so she won’t get more scared than she already is.*

Me (sincere):  You’re doing great, Tear.  Really.  I’m grateful that you’re down here with me.  You’ve been really brave.  Let’s hope we find something down here soon so we can get back home.

Tear: *I sigh deeply in relief once my feet touch the ground again, promptly illuminating the space with colorful, flickering lights from my light-up sneakers* Of course, Steward. I was not expecting so many deep drops, but they were definitely easier thanks to the Cloak. *I pat one of its golden clasps lovingly in thanks* 

*The Cloak hugs her comfortingly before going up and bringing Stephen down.*

Stephen:  …There’s definitely something here, but I can’t quite discern it yet.  

Me:  I’ll do some scouting.  Stay put, both of you.

Tear: Wasn’t it recommended not to split up?

Me:  I’m staying within earshot, as recommended.  Trying to find a safe way that doesn’t involve more big drops.  I’ll be out and back quickly and safely.  I promise.

*I go into the center tunnel and after a few minutes, return holding another newspaper page.  This one is from 1901.  It has been scribbled on.*

Me:  We’re reaching the older parts of the mine.  So, I think we’re on the right track.  

*Stephen looks at the page.*

Stephen:  “There once was a man from Nantucket—“  Nope.  Not finishing that.

Tear: *Grins impishly* What’s wrong with a man keeping all his cash in a bucket?

Me (smirking):  After all, where else would he chuck it?

*Stephen groans in exasperation.*

Tear: *High fives Steward*

Me:  I’ll check the other tunnels really quickly so we can advance.  

Stephen:  Be careful.  

Me:  I will be.

*The left tunnel is collapsed about 150 feet in.  There’s also old dynamite in there.  I leave silently and quickly.*  

Me:  Stay out of the left.  Trust me.

Tear: *Looks up at Stephen while Steward once again disappears from view* Not picking up anything odd yet?

Stephen:  It’s…fuzzy.  Present, but I can’t get a decent reading on it.

*I check the right tunnel.  There’s a well filled with cold, clear water.  It appears to be flowing.  I remember my thirst and take a sip from my water bottle as I walk back.*  

Me:  Looks like the middle tunnel is the way to go.

*We proceed.  It’s getting more precarious and the workings here do look older.  Stephen almost goes ahead a few times, as though he senses something more.  We find another paper.  This one is from 1878.  It reads, “The work here hasn’t been the same since the collapse that trapped those boys.  It feels colder now and not just from the well.  Different.” *

Me:  That’s…Reassuring.  *I’m being a mixture of sarcastic about the disturbing miner’s journal and relieved that we’re on the right path.*

Tear: I’m more surprised all these papers have survived down here for so long. The note mentions a well, but I don’t think we’ve passed it yet, have we?

Me:  The climate down here is consistent and basically acts like a time capsule.  The well was in the right tunnel back there.  *I point back at the area.*  It’s big and deep.  With how low the ceiling is, we can’t really levitate over it.  So, best not to attempt passing through it.  Plus, it’s freezing in there.  

*We go deeper.  The water from the well has made the passages in this area cold and damp.  As we progress, our breath eventually becomes visible.  With our sweat from earlier, we’re starting to shiver.*

Me:  G-Geez…So much for stable temperatures underground…

Tear: Are they supposed to be stable? I’ve only ever gone down a few buried pyramids, and they are always cool and damp. *I shrug off my glow-in-the-dark backpack and rummage around until I can pull out one of the extra sweaters I brought* Here. I hope you don’t mind the size. I wanted to make sure it would fit either of us in case of emergencies. It’ll help keep you warm.

Me:  N-Normally, y-yes.  Underground c-climates are usually the s-same t-temperature and humidity year-round.  Th-Thanks, Tear.  *I accept the sweater gratefully and put it on, breathing on my hands to warm up.*

*As we continue forward, there’s another exceptionally slippery area right next to a vertical shaft.  We help each other get past it.  On the left is another collapsed tunnel.  This one looks old.  There’s some miner’s graffiti here.  It says “Caution”.  We carry on.  Around 10 minutes later, we come across some very old pages that are almost disintegrating.  They’re written in Chinese and the date is 1873.  Seeing as Stephen is multilingual, we pass the pages to him.  He reads through them.*

Stephen:  “The ore veins here are good, but we are going through candles too quickly.  The darkness swallows them.”  This one is from a few weeks later…”The white men do not work on this level.  It is only Qi-Long, Zhang, me, and 27 others.  Yet, none of us feels alone here.  Li came forth the other day to ask who had called him.  None of us did.  This has continued with many of us.”

*Tear and I jump a little bit when my 2 hour alarm goes off.*

Me:  …If this were any other situation, I would suspect someone playing tricks.  Also, we’re 2 hours in.  We should finish this up soon to head back.

Tear: Hmm, I guess it would be possible if the men were left down here many days without sunlight. I know of a few cases of hallucinations and claustrophobia in the mines and trenches of World War One, and judging by the writing on the note…I don’t think the “white men” cared about these miners enough to offer them breaks.

Me:  They often were, yeah.  Also, they usually didn’t.  Chinese workers were treated as expendable or second-class at best.  Plus, if these guys were the victims of the collapse…

Stephen:  I suspect we’re getting close.  I can sense it properly now.

Tear: Hmm, well, we’ve hit the two hour mark, so I feel compelled to strongly suggest you two to take a minute to eat something. I have a feeling it might be disrespectful to do it later if we are heading toward a burial site, and it won’t do to have low blood sugar while we investigate. I brought some quick snacks…sandwiches and energy bars and a few fruits for comfort. I can put our trash away, too.

Me:  Oh.  Right…Good point.

Stephen:  Good call.  

*We accept the food gratefully and take a moment to eat. Soon enough, we continue our descent until a fork in the tunnel.  There is another huge drop across from another collapsed tunnel.  This collapse is incomplete, held up partially by some large boulder.  I test it for a moment and then carefully wriggle through to assess the situation.*

Me (faint, small voice from within the area):  Oh crap…

Stephen:  What do you see?

Tear: Need more light in there?

Me:  …Let’s just say that even though I can’t read Chinese, I can tell this isn’t good.  No.  No.  I need out.  

*I say this rapidly, obviously disturbed by whatever I found in the collapsed area.  I scramble back out of the area quickly, looking deeply shaken.  I pass Stephen more pages.*

Stephen (reading them):  These pages are very smudged.  Barely legible in some parts.  It says: “We blasted a new tunnel, but the rock was too soft.  It collapsed.  Li, Huang, and many others were buried.  Qi-Long and I are trapped.  We have air, but little food and water.  It is dark despite the candles.”  *He looks at another page.*  “It is just us.  Yet Qi-Long is gone.  I am alone, yet not.  The shadows will swallow me too.”  

Me (small voice, almost a whisper):  …There were no bones.  No sign of any remains.  Only a few scraps of old denim from miners’ uniforms and some spent carbide, but **something** is in there.  I never believed in this stuff until now.  

*I’m chillingly sincere.  After decades of being guided by scientific principles, it’s clear that my reality has been shattered.*

Tear: *Places a comforting hand on Steward’s shoulder* This collapse happened over 130 years ago. Any remains could have decomposed in that time, but the denim takes much longer. *I sigh sadly and cross my arms as I look up at Stephen.* It’s clear we’ve reached the spot, but I can’t say I feel anything else other than belated grief as an outsider. Can you feel the same thing Steward did?

Me:  No no no…It’s not remains…You don’t understand…I *felt* everything.  I don’t know what it was, but we shouldn’t be here.  *I’m usually very grounded and scientific, but something in there rattled me beyond anything I’ve encountered before.*

*I’m shaking slightly and usually try to be strong, but I accept the comfort without protest for once.  This is unusual for me.  Stephen stares at me for a moment before composing himself.  He suspects something’s up, but he still can’t quite put his finger on it.  So, he looks at the final page, lost in thought for a moment.*

Stephen (avoiding the question for now because he doesn’t have a good answer quite yet):  Here’s the last page…*It is the least legible of all.  As though scribbled by a madman.*  ”We are not alone.  I do not know of other survivors.  The darkness is hungry.  I am hungry.  There is only me.  The air ripples.  They call my name.  Such glorious sights could be mine.  I cannot get out.  So, they shall take me.  I cannot get out.  Have mercy on us all.”

*I feel a shudder snake its way through me.*

Me:  …We need to go.  Leave this area alone.  *My face is filled with genuine fear at this point.*

Tear: *I glance at Steward and frown down at the area where the cave-in happened. I’m still skeptical after I fail to pick up any energies, and discard the final note as the evidence of madness. Still, our original reason to come down here has me once more looking at Stephen to make the choice.*

Stephen:  I understand.  The strongest signal I got is from the drop.  We’ll check it and then leave.  

Me (trying to keep my cool):  Okay.  *I’m subtly getting closer to both of them.  This is unusual.  I typically prefer my personal space.  So, whatever I felt in that collapsed tunnel must have really scared me.*

Tear: I wish I had brought something to leave behind as a show of respect. Maybe we could set up a crowdfunding project to commemorate their lives. Wouldn’t that be nice, Steward? *I offer a small smile, clearly trying to lift the somber mood and calm Steward a bit.*

Me (calming down slightly):  Yeah.  I think that would be a nice idea.

*We head back towards the drop.  Yet now, our lights are getting dim, as though the batteries are dying.  However, they’re all freshly replaced.  I thump my lamp to align the batteries.  It goes out.  I fumble a bit and replace them, using the light from Tear’s Disney gear…Nothing.*

Me (small voice, almost a hoarse whisper):  No…

*Tear’s Disney lights are starting to fade now too.  Even the light-up shoes.  I try my flashlight.  It turns on, but despite the light turning on, we can’t see anything.  Like a surreal yellowish disc that emits nothing.  It suddenly feels stuffy in here.  The light no longer penetrates the darkness. I freeze, the bile rising in my throat.  I take some deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself.*

Tear: *I shake the flashlight in my hand in confusion and look around at the increasing darkness.* Okay…memory check, we didn’t climb down any deeper, did we? *I take a step closer to the others so that we are crowding together and gently stomp down on the heel of my sneakers, confirming they are now useless.*

Me:  …No, we didn’t.  

*The darkness feels almost suffocating.  Like we’re being enveloped in thick cloth.  The echo of our voices is gone.  Muffled.*

Stephen:  It’s here.

Me (trying to stay calm):  Okay…

Tear: Yeah. Sure would be nice to know what “it” is though. *I take deep breaths to keep a clear head and shift my hold on my flashlight to use it as a club instead. With our sight compromised, I strain my ears in hopes of picking up any noise that might approach us.*

*It’s pitch-black, but it seems as though the air itself is “rippling”.  Almost like it was a simple visual hallucination from the sensory deprivation we’re experiencing.  Yet, it feels almost…alive.*

Me (small voice):  You’re both still here, right?

Tear: Haven’t gone anywhere. *I inch even closer, ensuring that all of our backs are pressed together in a triangle for both reassurance and protection from all sides.*

Stephen:  Yes.  I’m scanning this anomaly.

Me (unnerved):  So…Neither of you called me?  

Tear: No, why would I?

Stephen:  No.  Did you hear something?  

Me:  …I-*I pause.* You guys aren’t messing with me?  *I’m really hoping that one of you is just playing a trick.*

*There is a very faint voice, distorted as though stretched out through unimaginable eons.  It sounds vaguely human, but only just.  It sounds as though it’s in distress and in another language.  Yet, we can all understand it.* 

Voice (faint, but echoing through the shafts despite our own voices and sounds being muffled):  …Help me…  *It seems both near and far away at the same time.*  Please…Come find me…

*Chills run down our spines.  There is a visceral feeling.  We know it’s a trap.  That this, whatever it is, wants us to follow.  It’s baiting us.  We’re all stuck in the pitch black within the bowels of the Earth and this thing has been waiting.  We’re being hunted.  There is a deep rumbling somewhere in the distance.  The sound of another collapse far away from us.*

*We hear Stephen moving and faintly see some sparks from him.  However, the light from his current spell seems muted.*

Stephen:  Dyzakk’s Cage!  *He shoots at the rippling, briefly illuminating the shaft.  The darkness recedes, bringing the now-contained rippling air into view.*  This is an interdimensional rift.  I contained it for our safety.  With the effects of this universe on my magic, I cannot determine which universe this opens up to.  However, this is the likely culprit in the demise of the miners who survived the initial collapse.  

*There is a crackling sound.  Stephen looks.*

Stephen:  We need to go.  Now!  *At this point, even **he** looks alarmed.  The spell doesn’t look like it’s going to hold.*

*My headlamp flickers back to life for the time being.  So, we flee.  Unfortunately, as we turn to leave, it seems some glowsticks are missing.  Others appear to have been tossed aside in random directions.  I make a small, strangled noise.  Stephen goes ahead.  He utters a brief incantation, conjuring some will o’ the wisps that fly just ahead of us, guiding our way out. Apparently, exposure to the rift helped Stephen boost his abilities a bit.  We rush forward.  Unfortunately, the slippery patch is ahead and Tear slips, plummeting down the shaft.  I lunge forward, hand outstretched in an attempt to save her.  It’s too late.  The accident happens too quickly for either human to react.  Miraculously, the Cloak flies off of Stephen at an insane speed and stops Tear’s fall, bringing her back up safely.  We’re in shock and watch silently.  The only sound is my rapid pulse as my heart bangs up against my chest.  After a few seconds, Stephen and I snap out of it.*

Stephen (worried):  Tear, are you okay?  Are you hurt anywhere?  *He looks her over with concern, checking on her.*

Tear: I’m okay, I’m okay. *I blink back tears and cling to the Cloak wrapped around my shoulders. I’m white as a sheet and trembling all over, but my mind seems like it is still lagging to catch up. The fall had been so sudden I hadn’t even been able to scream, but I register no injuries other than a smarting bruise on my hip and a scraped elbow from when I first hit the ground.* It was just the fright, really. We gotta keep going. *Feeling the urgency of Stephen’s containment spell, I stumble back to my feet on wobbly legs, mostly with the help of the Cloak.*

*I hug her tightly when we know that she’s okay.*

Me (having one of those massive surges of adrenaline rushes mixed with fear and concern):  Be careful, damnit!  *I’m not actually mad.  Just worried.  Though at this point, I’m shaking quite badly and look like I might vomit from the stress.*

Tear: *I giggle deliriously, too pumped full of fear and adrenaline to even register Steward’s tone.* I’ll keep that in mind.

Stephen (urgent):  We need to get out of here.  Whatever is in that rift, it’s not worth the risk.  Follow the wisps.  Whatever else is down here is tampering with your equipment.  Go!    

*He holds up the rear while his wisps glow ahead of Tear and me.  We quickly but carefully get to the main shaft where the lift is waiting.  We’re roughly an hour early.  I look at Tear and Stephen, confirming that they’re both here and okay.  I’m pale as a ghost.  We’re all wet, muddy, and have many cuts and bruises.*

Me (relieved to be back at the lift):  Ready for me to whistle so we can head up?

Stephen:  Yes.  *He has a stony expression and keeps looking back towards the shaft we came out of, as though expecting something.  We hear some more faint rumbling from deep inside the mine.  The sorcerer is more on-edge than we’ve ever seen him before.*

Tear: *Wheezing* Just blow the damn thing. *I pat at the Cloak still over my shoulders and motion for it to return to Stephen with a tilt of my head, hoping it will help ease some of his tension.*

*I gesture for everyone to cover their ears before I blast my whistle.  We listen for Trix’s whistle before stepping into the lift and being slowly hauled back up.  It feels like an eternity.*

Me (hoarse):  …At least we found something…*Trying to be positive.  Though I know that Tear and I will have nightmares from this ordeal.  I’m still shaking like a leaf and deathly pale while drenched in sweat.*

Tear: *Huffs out an incredulous laugh as I fold over to rest my hands on my shaking knees* Well, the nightmares will go nicely with the ones I have from the time I got lost up on Mount Rainier. Maybe hiking and spelunking are just not meant for me. *I straighten once more and wince over my stiff muscles. I’m still panting and wheezing as I try to regain my breath from our little dash back when I turn to Stephen.* I had never, ever, heard of a dimensional rift opening in our universe though. Were you able to gather anything from the energy source?

Stephen (deadly serious):  This mine is too dangerous.  We won’t come back here.  It was something, but not worth the risk again.  Whatever was in there, it was far bigger than any of us anticipated and it was NOT friendly.  I got a small, short boost of energy from it when I got close, but that was it.  That rift wasn’t from any dimension that I’m familiar with.  Though the entities coming from it were definitely hostile to sentient life.

Trix: Oh god, it was that bad, huh? If we have scary shit in our world with no magic that is terrifying.

*I nod.*

Me (looking sick while coming down from the adrenaline rush):  We barely made it out alive…

*The subsequent ride back is sober and quiet.  I put the radio on so we at least have something to diffuse the tension.  When we get back into town, I give Tear a respectful look.*  

Me (sincere):  Tear, you went above and beyond down there and I hope that we never have to endure an ordeal like that again.  Trix, thank you for coming with us and helping us get in and out safely.  Guys, if you need or want, you can stay with us tonight.

Tear: I would have never forgiven myself if I had let you and Stephen go down there on your own. I’m not sure I was of much help, but no one should go through what we did alone. *I turn to look at my parked car over my shoulder, weighing my options. I find myself dreading the drive back to my place at night and faring on my own once I get there.* If…if I’m not imposing…I think I will take you up on that offer to stay. I don’t think I’ll get much sleep tonight anyway, if at all.

Me:  That’s understandable.  Also, you did plenty with the supplies and doing your best to help me through that passage.  I almost had a serious panic attack down there.

Stephen (serious):  Thank you, all of you, for what you did today.  It may not have gone the way that any of us intended, but I’m grateful that you made the effort to help me.

Tear: *Smiles* We did say we would be here for you no matter what. I just wish we actually had the power to find a way back home for you. Today was…annoyingly fruitless despite all we went through.

Trix: I honestly feel bad that I didn’t come help more but then it would have been four of us in danger.

Stephen:  You did what you needed to do by helping us evacuate.  If you weren’t up there, we may not have made it out.

Trix: *kinda shuffles awkwardly* Always glad to help. Just hearing the noises coming out of there was worrying.

Me:  It was starting to try to trigger collapses to box us in.  *Slowing down as the very last of the adrenaline leaves my system.*

*I’m practically dead on my feet.  Driving us back took all of the remaining energy I had left.  Right now, it’s only willpower keeping me from collapsing in the driveway.*

Stephen:  I’ll unload the car.  Go ahead inside.

Tear: I’ll help him and put something together for dinner later tonight.  

Trix: I’ll stay over tonight if you don’t mind. I think it certainly is the type of night to stick together.

Me (yawning):  Okay…Thank you, Trix.  As for dinner, it’s a nice thought, but right now, I’m barely conscious.

Tear: *Halfway in the trunk* I meant for me! I eat when I’m stressed, so I’m emptying your fridge tonight.

Me (slurring):  Okay…Do you guys need help?  *I’m attempting to resist the fatigue because I don’t want to be lazy or selfish.  The fridge joke Tear made didn’t register in my now-zombified brain.* 

Tear: *I flap my hand up and down to wave Steward off* Nah, we got it, don’t worry. I’m sure Stephen can tell me where you keep your condiments.

*I blink slowly.  You can practically see the “System Processing…” prompt going on in my head.*

*I shamble to the front door and unlock it, stumbling inside.  At this point, the adrenaline and shock have fully worn off.  Now, the pain from exertion is hitting me.  My knees feel like they’re filled with splinters and I know there are plenty of scrapes and bruises from bumping into things and crawling through that horrible collapse.  I know I need to go upstairs, but dread the ever-increasing pain shooting through my legs.  So, I stare up at them for a few seconds before gritting my teeth and practically pulling myself up using the banisters.  I head to my bathroom to clean up and get ready for bed.  It’s early, probably around 7, but I don’t care.  After sorting myself out, I limp over to the top of the stairs to check on Stephen, Trix, and Tear.*

Me (slurring):  You guys doing okay down there?

Tear: *After putting away our gear and cooking up some tuna melts in the toaster oven, I raid the linen closet with the Cloak’s help and build myself a nest on the cushy sofa in the living room. I put on episodes of the Looney Tunes cartoons on the TV in a low volume, and proceed to let Bugs Bunny numb my anxiety. My eyes droop sleepily but I stubbornly refuse to fall asleep.* I think we’ve got everything covered. There’s tuna melts being kept warm in the toaster oven in case you get hungry. *I don’t look away from the TV screen as I answer Steward.*

Stephen:  We’re fine.  Get some rest.  

*He’s watching the show with Tear while sitting in the armchair next to the sofa.  Though also deeply thinking about what happened.  So, watching, but not really watching.  More just keeping her company and thinking.  The Cloak is with Tear because Stephen figures she needs it more than he does right now.*

Trix: Yeah! Let us know if you need anything!

Me (mumbling):  Okay.  Thanks…Good night, all of you.  If any of you need anything, just holler or text. 

Stephen:  We’ll be okay.

Tear: *I tilt my head back to finally return Steward’s gaze.* You too. Don’t hesitate to come downstairs or reach out tonight. You sure you don’t wanna throw a sleepover in the living room?

*I look rather terrible even after having cleaned up.  My eyes have shadows around them and my walk has gotten worse.*

Me:  M’kay…It’s tempting, but I don’t really want to do the stairs again.

Tear: That’s fine. I hope you get some rest then. *I’m worried but know better than to coddle. Instead, I get comfy on the sofa with the Cloak again and go back to watching king Bugs bonk a man over the head with his scepter.*

*A few hours later, I acquiesce and stumble downstairs, almost falling.  I catch myself in time and limp over to the living room, deciding to curl up in the remaining armchair without a word.  It’s a rough, but deep sleep.*  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Unbeknownst to any of us, Stephen’s containment spell on the rift issued an echo across the multiverse.  A magical version of a ping.  Somewhere in the multiverse, a Wong notices a faint and familiar magical signature.  Perhaps…?*

***To be continued***

[aonoexpat]

05-11-2023 (2/3)

The next day we resumed our way inland, made a quick stop at "the T-rex tree":

...and drove down to the famous Buller gorge. The turquoise water was beautiful in the sun when it did come out, and I paid a little too much money to be allowed to walk over a bridge, and then zipline back head-first!

After that thrill we continued on our way, and made it to another so-called Nelson Lake that I hadn't yet visited on my way down the island: lake Rotoroa. Though the views were beautiful and the hikes around there pretty nice, the sandflies were absolutely ruthless and they made it impossible to be stationary outside. This meant dinner had to happen inside the cars, and afterwards we all piled into my van so we would have some company :) And we actually felt an earthquake! We all thought it was one of the others shaking our cars, but we checked online the next day and it had truly been a little earthquake.

The day after that, it looked like we would have to split up once again. So I made my bear wave goodbye to my lovely friend:

And continued on to Motueka. It was very cool to return to a place that I had already been to, which also meant that with that stretch of road, I had officially closed my loop around the island!

The other friend that was still with me and I relaxed by the beach for a bit, and then I got lucky enough to meet the man behind many a backpacker facebook page. We spoke a bit about finding work, about travel plans, and then I asked him about the self-contained certification for vehicles. Contrary to what every mechanic in the country so far had told me, he said Elrond could get re-certified! Apparently he knew a guy who still operated under the old rules, so I immediately got into contact with him. I got super excited because a new certification would immensely increase the resale value. I spent that entire day making the car look nice, making sure all the necessary parts were installed (which included two trips to the hardware store), and after that entire whirlwind, Elrond passed the test with flying colours! I have since received the new certification, and I am so incredibly stoked.

That same man offered to help me get a new warrant of fitness for the car, or WOF. Elrond's previous WOF would expire in January, and since I'm hoping to sell him (WITH PAIN IN MY HEART MIND YOU) in November, that was cutting it a bit close. I decided to take the risk and have him checked, knowing that if he failed, I'd have 28 days to fix him up and get him re-checked a the same place for free. Unfortunately he did fail, on four separate points. My newfound friend and I scrambled to get appointments in with mechanics and sparkies alike, and after half a day two of the four points had already been taken care of, thanks in part to a local car wrecker who has this exact model of car in his junkyard and was kind enough to sell me some parts I needed. The other two points would have to be fixed on the 30th in the morning. This would jeopardise me making it to the ferry, and even if I did it would be stressful. So, I moved back the ferry for what would later become known as the first time. I rescheduled it for November 1st, hoping I could get the car fixed, re-checked, and be on my way on Monday.

In the meantime, I headed to Mārahau. I went for a short, quick hike into Abel Tasman national park before going to see an old friend at an open mic night. I had a grand time playing with him and his band, and thoroughly enjoyed the vibe!

I ended up stealth camping (shh) in the Abel Tasman parking lot, and I didn't get caught 😇 I did make sure to get up early and get out of there, which resulted in me having a prime spot from which to view the sunrise:

I drove on to another familiar spot: Kaiteriteri beach, where I parked the car and took a nap in the morning sun, which felt like absolute bliss. That afternoon I got myself an impulse haircut, and then made my way to Whakatū for Friday night open mic night. As I posted in the moment, I was so happy to be able to see all those wonderful people one last time, and I got to play together with a cherished friend. I sang The Leaving of Liverpool, but I had replaced the place names with Whakatū-relevant places :) I understand that they liked it! I was kindly given a ride back to Elrond by the organiser, and bade him a very fond farewell.

That Sunday I made it back to Motueka and went busking at the market. I hadn't done that in a long time, so it was very nice to refresh my repertoire and make sure my equipment still worked. I met four other musicians, one new and three I already knew. It was so nice to be out in the sun playing some tunes and socialising, though despite me putting on SPF50 sunscreen twice within three hours, I still got burned once again. I was kindly informed of this when I started packing up by two people who had had eyes on my (burning) back for three hours, but had decided to wait to notify me for some reason... I tried to cool it down a little by taking a cold shower by the beach, and then one of my friends joined me there! We got to talking and both enjoyed spending time together, so I moved my ferry once again: to the 4th of November. This seemed so nicely full circle to me, because I arrived in Aotearoa on February 4th, and took the ferry to Te Waipounamu on July 4th!

On the 30th of October, I was at the mechanic bright and early. They took Elrond in, and after about an hour and a half they called me with good and bad news: issue no. 3 had been fixed, but issue no. 4 had turned out to be a lot more complicated (and expensive to fix) than previously thought. New parts would have to be ordered in, and they weren't sure when they would arrive. I tried to get some parts from the wrecker I was now acquainted with, but unfortunately they were very worn too. So I reluctantly agreed to this new plan, hoping I wouldn't have to move my ferry again (foreshadowing who?).

That afternoon my friend and I impulsively headed out to Abel Tasman national park once more, to get my mind off of the car stress, and because she would head South the next morning and this would be our last day together! We had a blast driving up there and walking all the way to Coquille bay and back. I was very grateful to get yet another, deeper look into this stunning park ❤️

I spent some time after that in Motueka, just lying in wait for a call from the mechanic that the parts had arrived. I did some elaborate makeup for Halloween even though I had nowhere to wear it to, and then spent a lot of my time finally sitting down and reading up on the news. Without getting into specific politics on this particular blog, the global situation has me extremely upset and worried. Reading about it, watching videos and talking with friends to get a grip on the situation and actually allow myself to feel how incredibly disturbing it all is left me feeling desperate, powerless and unable to amount to much. Which is of course nothing compared to what people across the world are going through. Luckily I could afford to, because the parts took longer to arrive than I had hoped. After a few days I started to get really nervous, but just then I heard I could bring the car in! It took them a while, but they fixed Elrond up, and gave him back to me at the end of the day. Unfortunately by then the WOF place had already closed, and so I pushed my ferry back once more: to November 6th. And it has remained at that date since!

The next morning, bright and early, I headed over for the WOF recheck. And as I had expected he would, this time Elrond passed. This too should add a bit of resale value to the vehicle, which will be nice after I had to spend a big smack of money on the repairs.

My eye was caught by a sign announcing a garage sale down the road, and I couldn't ignore that. I headed over and got to talking with the lady who was downsizing her house, and as it turned out she was Dutch too! I had a lovely conversation with her and her elderly mother, who proudly announced she had lived 40 years in The Netherlands, and then 44 here. It was endearing to hear her speak Dutch but almost uncontrollably revert back to English every now and then, and the same for her daughter, though she had only lived in The Netherlands for 10 years, which meant her Dutch wasn't as solid as her mom's. I bought two really cute skirts, a top, a sweater and two pairs of shoes that will hopefully be a lot more comfortable to walk in at work than my heavy hiking boots. We'll see!

[kagurajinbaffxiv]

So to break from the norm of not posting, I have a short story about Mikoto that I've been working on for a bit. I wanted to write something like the 'Tales from...' released during the Rising events.

Hope you like it.

~~~~

Mikoto’s steps echoed around her, the silence around her making everything sound louder then it should have been. Mikoto thought back to why she was here, she always knew how this journey will end.

The bustling around Gangos never slowed down since they retook the Dalriada and today was nothing different. Bajsaljen was talking to her but she wasn’t really listening.

“Mikoto, stop”, Bajsaljen grabbed her before she stepped in front of a cart moving the supplies from the stockpile to the boats headed back to Bozja. “Mikoto, you’ve been not here for the past few days, has the echo given you another vision?” he said with the slightest hint of concern behind the admonishment

Mikoto looked at him, her mind finally back in the camp and knowing she had to leave “There’s something I need to go take care of, and I don’t expect to be back for a while”

“You are not one of my soldiers, you don’t need to seek permission from me, nor do you need to return, we can build back our home without your help” Bajsaljen said to her, she would be missed but he knew there was so much a young scholar needed to do that could not be achieved in his camp.

“No, but an old friend would have wanted me to help and see this through till the end, but I think this journey has to happen now”

Mikoto’s foot slipped on a loose stone that slipped and she tripped forward bringing her back to the present. The pain of the rocks on the path cutting into her as she used her hands to stop herself slamming her face into the ground. She let out a sigh, “I made it through a battlefield with less difficulty than this, what am I doing?”, asking no one but herself.

She got back up, and noticed a small graze on her knee, the blood welling up and staining her stockings.

She brushed off the dust and rocks then the glow of aether enveloped her knee as she used her magic to take care of herself, this wasn’t quite how she saw this trips finale happening, so maybe what she knew was going to happen would not occur.

The sound of the stones crunching underneath her feet started again as she started moving forward towards her destination again and thought of how she even got here.

The wind was blowing through her hair, the sea spray was still on the air this far away from the shore. She had made it from Gangos to Sharlayan with less fuss than she thought, and with the gleaners running around bringing in stock to deliver it it felt like she had not gone anywhere.

Mikoto knew where she was going, but where on a map it actually was she had no idea. In Sharlayan she would be able to find people who know where her destination actually was. The Scions were her best chance of finding her destination, and she knew Krile would know where they are to point her in the right direction and she was sitting outside the Students of Baldesion’s quarters, looking out at her second home.

She had not been back to Sharlayan in years, but it was still the same as when she was at the Studium, the bench where she had lunch with Moen almost daily was still there like nothing had changed in the years since then.

She could still remember the push Moen had given her to seek more than what was on that island once she get her Archon mark, and now she had seen so much more than either of them expected, she had been in the Dalriada when Diablo Armament had broken free and Misja had sacrificed herself to save the people she had betrayed and Mikoto had been saved from herself, she had seen what Auracite could do to people and been there when the Warrior of Light had defeated Ultima and learnt of the secret history that Ramza was involved in.

Mikoto was nothing like she was when she left, but her home had not changed. Mikoto knew she would be even more different when she returned again, would she feel at home in Sharlayan or would she feel like a stranger in where she had called home for so long.

A soft voice called out from the building behind her “Miss Jinba”, Krile was waving trying to get Mikoto’s attention. “I don’t know exactly where it is, but if you visit Mor Dhona you’ll find the Scions who will know where it is”, and with that Mikoto’s journey continued.

Mikoto was almost to the crest of the hill, the final steps until what she knew was going to happen will happen. She knew the echo could be misleading, but what she knew was going to happen could not be avoided, and she had to be here eventually and that could not be avoided.

She stopped for a second thinking back on the Warrior of Lights face when they took a map out and circled her destination.

“Are you sure you don’t want someone there with you?” their strained voice gave away that their echo had given away what Mikoto was about to do to herself.

“No, you know I have to do this, and I want to be alone for it” Mikoto softly replied.

“Fine” the Warrior replied clearly frustrated with her “but you will be back here after this is done right?”

“Yes, I will be back, can I ask to borrow a room from the Scions once I get back?”

The Warrior of light looked relieved, “Yes I will organise that now, take care until you get back, ok, it might be safer here than Bozja but don’t let your guard down”

*crunch crunch crunch*

The sound of her shoes stopped echoing all around her once her destination opened up before her, the crystalline tree standing over Thaliak’s mark, the place the scions had used to remember her lost friend.

Mikoto’s voice cracked as soon as she opened her mouth, she stopped to find the words she had to say.

“Hey Moen, there is so much I have seen that I want to tell you about”

Her tears started falling as Mikoto knew deep in her heart would happen as she said her goodbyes to her best friend.