#ough next year i gotta read more

[slaapkat]

IT IS TIME... FOR THE FOURTH ANNUAL COMIX OF THE YEAR!

admittedly, this year i've been SLACKIN', but finally getting the job of my dreams will do that to a person. I've still managed to read a fair bit! this year was huge regardless, from a fantastic trip to MEMPHIS where amidst the glitz and glamor of all things Elvis and roll&roll I finally managed to find the much-coveted Green Arrow (1988) #90 (well, much coveted to me), to an INCREDIBLE trip to LONDON to meet with my best pal @ufonaut for the SECOND time this year and bought so many comic books I genuinely struggled to pack it back with me and was this close to having to check a bag. seriously, so many comic books.

that being said, still an amazing year for comics! so let's hit it!

Justice Society of America (2022)

-Part of the reason I think this year went by so fast is because most of it was spent eagerly awaiting the next issue of the long anticipated JSA revival, headed once again by Geoff Johns. One of the few series that so far has been hit after hit, culminating this year with issue #8 with the official introduction of Ruby Sokov and a peak at the slow unraveling of Alan Scott's past. Perhaps the best part of the series so far are the nods to actual Golden Age history, one of which inspired another placement on this list after its discovery. While retcons are continuous point for many fans, including myself, I feel Geoff manages to weave together old and new canon together with such passion it can't help but feel natural.

2. Stargirl: The Lost Children (2022)

-I'll admit, this one was a surprise hit. Ordinarily, I hate it when a writer breaks into the scene with a ton of random OC's in the effort to make his mark, and I even mentioned last year that the characters introduced at the end of The New Golden Age (2022) #1 had me apprehensive at first. However, seeing them all in action instantly changed my mind. Stargirl and Red Arrow made for a surprisingly organic team, and all of the newly introduced sidekicks alongside the actual forgotten Golden Age ones once again help the whole thing feel natural, breathing new life into the once stagnant mini-universe of the Justice Society. My only disappointment, maybe, was that robo-Hourman wasn't actually evil. Oh well!

3. Universal Monsters: Dracula (2023)

-Sleeper hit of the century. I had no idea James Tynion IV was coming out with a Dracula adaption until I came across the cover of #1 by accident while ambling through my comic book store and was instantly so struck that I bought it without even reading it first. It might have helped that I was in the middle of listening to the podcast adaption of Dracula Daily (Re: Dracula) and so I had the good ol count on the brain. The comic itself is a relatively loose adaptation, but Tynion's writing combined with the phenomenal art ends up depicting the story with a fantastic dramatical and dreamlike (and as a consequence, inevitably nightmarish) quality. As I reach the end of listening to Re: Dracula myself, I'm excited to see what Tynion does with it.

4. Jay Garrick: The Flash (2023)

-Jeremy Adams wasn't winning any favors with me at first, what with the way it felt the quality of his Green Lantern run had taken a steep nosedive in recent issues, but I'm a firm believer in reading anything at least once so that if I'm gonna be a hater, I'm at least going to have a reason why. Color me surprised when his Flash story ended up so far ahead the other two Golden Age minis that it simply no longer compares. Judy was a fast (no pun intended) favorite from the moment I saw her Who's Who entry in The New Golden Age, and further still in The Lost Children. The story weaves itself naturally between the past and present and truly make Judy Garrick feel as though she's been here all along. It's also wonderful to be able to see Jay's wife, Joan, back in the spotlight!

5. Green Lantern: Earth One (2018)

-After seeing the hc trade staring me right in the face on the shelves of my comic book store for AGES I was finally goaded into reading it and boy I'm kicking myself for not having read it earlier. Beautiful art, beautiful writing, fantastic characterization. As much as I like alt universes they can be hit or miss, but this one was absolutely a hit. Dared to try something new with the medium while still keeping true to the source material. Also, Hal should have kept that beard.

6. Flashpoint (2011)

-Another story I can't believe I put off for as long as I did, for as much publicity and praise it's had. At the time I was still wary of anything Geoff John's wrote outside of his JSA or GL and also didn't care much for the Flash as a character generally. However, inspired by how much I liked Flashpoint Beyond and curiosity piqued by The Flash movie, I gave it a shot and found myself MUCH more entertained than I thought I'd be. Finally reading this story brought a lot of context to Thomas' character development throughout his arcs in Batman (2016), Infinite Frontier (2021), and Justice League Incarnate (2021), as well as how this arc finally completed in Flashpoint Beyond (2022).

7. Silverblade (1987)

-Somehow, 1987-88 was truly the magic year for comics. I've lost count of how many weirdly incredible and advanced titles came out of that specific year alone. A weird story in and of itself, it's hard to describe what exactly the appeal of it was unless you just Get It yourself. An old, washed-up Hollywood actor with nothing but a starry- eyed manservant for company who suddenly gains the ability to physically transform into any role he's ever played, including a swashbuckling visage of his younger self? Viewed through the right lens, it's captivating.

8. Green Lantern: War of the Green Lanterns (2011)

-Now, I've read all of Geoff's Green Lantern already years ago and I couldn't tell you what compelled me to read any part of it again, but I did and now I'm deeply tempted to give it a go all over again. This entry specifically entails the War of the Green Lanterns arc, itself told intermittently between Green Lantern (2005) and Green Lantern Corps (2006). I don't know, something about it was so much more refreshing to read compared to many recent story arcs of today. Maybe it was the way it was essentially self-contained between these two books, maybe it was the way it felt like it had actual substance, a beginning and middle and end, with real identifiable character arcs for all involved. I might be biased in that case, because it's subsequently one of my favorite pieces of Sinestro characterization, but Hal and even Guy, John, and Kyle have some shining moments in it, too.

9. Diamond Jack in Slam-Bang Comics (1940)

-Who is Diamond Jack, exactly? Well, to the unassuming reader he might have just been a random one-off mention of a name that Geoff dropped in Justice Society of America #2 with no real consequence to the overall plot of the story. Most people might have missed it entirely. Not us! Not only is Diamond Jack real, he's absolutely batshit insane. Hailing from an obscure Fawcett publication and lasting a mere meager six issues, he can best be described as peak Golden Age antics. Absurd but in a truly delightful way, it makes you wonder just how someone like Geoff Johns stumbled upon it. He turns into a vampire! He fights a sky demon! He has a magic ring he got from a guy named Warlock the Wizard! What's not to love! My only hope is that Geoff brings him back in more than name only and we get to see what exactly has him spatting with the Golden Age Zatara.

[wikipediaboyfriend]

@heartyearning i made some sort of fatal flaw in saving this ask as a draft so we're here w this <3

1. how many books did u read this year? by the time the clock strikes midnight, i will have completed 27 books <3

3. top 5 books of da year? OUGH Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr; Know My Name by Chanel Miller; The Color Purple by Alice Walker; East of Eden by John Steinbeck (a fav and a reread); and Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Leguin !!

6. anything youve been meaning to read n didnt get to? my to-read pile lives as two whole shelves on my second bookcase and someday i will accomplish completing them and not just getting new books to read instead

9. did u get into any new genres? definitely been trying more nonfic/theory ! read a nice lil bell hooks earlier this year (feminism is for everyone), and currently reading another bell hooks (all about love) and that one on architecure in tel aviv+jaffayaffayafo that i was reading when i was w you!

10. fav new release? gotta be The Adventures of Amina Al Sarafi by the incomparable S.A. Chakraborty <3 i audiobooked this one just like daevabad and truly such a fun story to listen to

25. what reading goalz do u have for next year? def read more! less phone time more literacy! and not letting myself get stuck when im not enjoying a book! was not doing a lot of fun/good reading for a lot of the year and s/o to LHOD for getting me back on track the past couple of months <3

[brightwaterforarainyday]

What's Echo Reading

Previously:

All of the novels of Guy Gavriel Kay. Yes every single one.

This Census-Taker, by China Mieville (I have an immense respect for a story that absolutely refuses to concretely answer a single one of the questions it raises. Figure it out yourself.)

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (7/22/2022 yea ok I already wasn't exactly Normal about Houses as like A Concept Im gonna be Dealing with that for a while)

New Cthulu: The Recent Weird, edited by Paula Guran (9/12/2022) what can I say I like 'em weird. These were all very much up my alley I would read ten more volumes if they existed)

The Labyrinth of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers (4/9/23) A sequel to one of my favorites, The City of Dreaming Books. Very well illustrated and does some fun things with type and diagetic texts which i appreciated. The longest central section is devoted to the narrator attending a puppet performance following the action of the previous book, described in meticulous detail, so not exactly what I'd call a gripping read. Always nice to spend some time in Bookholm tho.

The Dream Cycle of H.P Lovecraft: Dreams of Terror and Death (4/17/23) aka Randolph Carter's Bigtime Adventure Roadtrips. Mostly just made me want to reread my other Lovecraft collection tbh

Numbers in the Dark and Other Stories by Italo Calvino (translated by Tim Parks) My last big Book Arts assignment back at OCAC was based off a selection from Invisible Cities so I thought I'd check out some of the rest of his work. The tone of his writing reminds me a bit of my favorite short story collection: Stories for Night Time and Some for the Day so that seems like a good sign Returning to the library for now, may check it out again at a later date

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson (10/23/2023)

Shadows of the Dark Crystal, JM Lee (11/27/2023) My Dark Crystal ttrpg campaign gave me brainworms so bad I'm reading YA about it. If I had read this when I was an actual child I would have been insufferable. I would have been obsessed there would have been no helping me.

Injection vol. 1 & 2, Warren Ellis (11/29/2023) My volume 3 was supposed to arrive today where IS it :(

Leech, Hiron Ennes (12/7/23) Ough I've never had such mixed feelings about a book ever. A very good book to be sure, amazing atmosphere, really nailed the gothic horror part of the gothic horror scifi soup. But I was so disapointed in how the Institute was handled and the direction the protagonist ended up growing in so the back half of it was... difficult.

So it turns out that when you actually have to make decisions about what you're gonna read it makes it much more difficult to actually, you know. Do that. That being said:

Currently Reading:

Fly by Night, Francis Hardinge - An old old favorite of mine. Gotta revisit the classics every few years y'know? (1/19/24)

Up Next (Possibly)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.10

...and Drink It with Gusto

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)   x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?)    Word count: 3400

Summary: Steve’s a bit difficult (poor baby), not that anyone blames him. Sam Wilson makes a confession – sort of.

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood and death, alcohol, unhealthy coping mechanism, sad sad Steeb

A/N: dropping the chapter early, because I won’t have time to post for a bit

Story masterlist

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The mission hadn’t been a shitshow, surprisingly enough, but the reports to Fury had been. Natasha had spent the rest of the day, whole night and a better portion of the next day at the SHIELD HQ, having to deal with everything, because Stark had quite literally fled. To be fair, he had at least taken care of Steve’s still unconscious and very much muscular (read ‘really fucking heavy’) form.

Tired and annoyed, Natasha finally landed with small jet at the Tower, making her way to her room, wishing nothing more but to shower and get some fucking sleep.

Of course, walking through the common room, she should have known she wouldn’t be that lucky.

She heard his icy yet somewhat cheery voice before she even saw him and it made her stop in her tracks, dreading facing him. She was too tired for his reproaches now.

“AH! There she is!”

Natasha took a deep breath, closing her eyes and mentally counting to three.

“Here’s ‘ur soulmate ex-pert!” Steve howled again, making her heart clench.

Black Widow was not a coward, but neither her nor Natasha liked dealing with feelings too directly – the jet was enough to get her fill for several years prior. She scanned the room before she would settle on him – and sure enough, she and Steve weren’t alone.

Bruce was standing indecisively by the door, torn and helpless expression on his face, his eyes one big question mark, asking Natasha how the hell he was supposed to deal with that.

Good question, Bruce, good question.

The smell of booze and Steve’s demeanour were unmistakable, but she silently asked anyway.

“Is he…?”

“Yeah. He… uhm… he found Thor’s stash,” the scientist answered her in equally hushed voice, inconspicuously pointing towards the counter where three flasks lay, emptied. Jesus.

Steve apparently heard and saw them anyway, because his voice bellowed again in reaction to their conversation. His words were slurred.

“Goooood friend Thor. Thou’ he t’ied to take my g’l. Nooot a g’d friend. Baaaad, bad friend.”

“Oh bozhe moy…” Natasha whispered under her breath and Steve turned to her, looking almost excited to see her.

Which didn’t mean he didn’t look like absolute shit. He had a t-shirt stained with the alcohol, his eyes red-rimmed, bruise-like dark circles under them as if he hadn’t slept for a year.

She hadn’t thought he could get worse than in the quinjet. Clearly, she was wrong.

“’tasha! Greeeeat ‘dvice you gave me,” he exclaimed, trying to rise from his spot on the couch where he had been half-lying like a dead fish casted ashore.

Natasha resisted the urge to massage her temples as the headache started to build. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach at the audible edge to his voice, the accusation glaring at her from his eyes.

“Steve…”

He finally stumbled to his feet and she noticed another flask secured in his right hand. He held it out as if he was pointing at her.

“Tried wat’ you s-said. Hurts,” he hiccupped, the sound blending with a sob. He cleaned his nose with the back of his hand hastily. “S-saw her grave. Fuck it hurts…  ‘dis thing’s good ‘ough.”

Natasha bit the inside of her cheek, her mind racing. She didn’t need to call anyone for advice now. Her friend was shitfaced. The only thing she could do was to get him to bed and try not to antagonize him or trigger something worse than… whatever this was. She wasn’t sure if moving on from being snowed under work – voluntarily – was more or less healthy than drinking himself into oblivion. But she counted any change that wasn’t a step towards a suicide (possibly assisted by the last of Hydra goons) like a progress.

“Is he drunk?” Tony’s incredulous voice ringed from the doorway and Natasha didn’t even bother spinning on her heels to him, hearing him enter and close the distance between them as he stopped at her side. “Cap?”

Blood froze in Natasha’s veins and she was swift to call out, but it was too late. “No- don’t call-!”

So much for not triggering him and making it worse. She could see how he suddenly stood straighter as if he swallowed a wooden ruler, and an indefinable expression appeared on his face.

She gulped in anticipation of a storm.

“Cap!” he called out, mimicking Tony and the billionaire realized his mistake, judging by the silent dammit that left his lips. Steve raised the flask in a mock toast, turning around and nearly tipping over his feet. “Captain ‘merica! What a heeero! Cheers to him!” He took a long sip before continuing, his gestures animated. “Swin’ in, safe th’m all! Kill his g’l, why ‘ven care… hero, murd’r, potato, tomatho…” his voice slurred into a murmur, until he spotted a newcomer and came to life again. “Ah! Hey, Clint!”

Clint was quick to understand the situation and it took one glance at Natasha for them to agree what needed to be done. He approached Steve cautiously with his features emotionless.

“We should get you to bed-“

“Nope! No!” Steve howled instantly, taking several steps backwards to get out of Clint’s reach. His expression was dark, tears welling in his eyes. “Smell like h’r. Not ‘nymore. Hurts!” he sobbed, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead, his figure swaying dangerously as he closed his eyes and lost the visual control of his balance. “Hurts!”

“Come on, Steve…” Clint coaxed him gently, attempting to close the distance between them again. His gaze flickered to Bruce and Tony and they took few steps towards Steve as well.

“Nope! Gotta-ta sssay sm’thin’!” Christ, Natasha had never seen him like this and she wanted to bleach both her eyes and ears. He pointed the flask at Clint resolutely. “You knew. You warn h’r. Fuck-fuck up. Shouldva told- I ain’t gettin’ killed. I kill h’r.”

“Steve…” Natasha approached him as well, grimacing when she saw the flash of emotion on Clint’s face.

Steve spun to her immediately, this time accusing her. “And you! Gooood job. Pushin’ us togthe’. You kill h’r too.”

“Hey! Watch it!” Tony snapped at him, running out of patience, but Natasha knew Steve didn’t quite mean it. Pushing them together wasn’t her fault – the fact she had tranquilized him was her sin and she was aware he had the right to be mad at her.

“Your friggin’ ‘stem! You too- n’t fly fast ’nough!“

“Steve, you’re wasted. You’re going to bed before you say more things you regret,” Bruce said calmly after Steve managed to finish his roll and blame another person.

Bruce speaking up gave the captain a pause and he looked like his brain froze. His brows knitted together and he nodded, another sob erupting from his throat, his inhale shaking his whole being as he crossed the distance to Bruce, murmuring.

“Regert. Her. My folt, no yours. Kill h’r. Miss her. Shouldva s-s-saved her. Pick h’r… love h’r. Hurts. Hurts s’much…”

Steve’s large frame enveloped Bruce, resting his whole impressive weight on him. The scientist was nearly tripped over ��� except a hint of green flushed his neck, Hulk coming to rescue before the other men and Natasha rushed to help. Steve went completely limp, the flask falling to the ground, the little liquid remaining in it spilling and staining the carpet. No one cared as they tried to support the supersoldier’s goo-like body, exchanging desperate glances.

“Well, that was… enlightening,” Tony summarized, his poor attempt at joke that not even he apparently believed in barely gaining any reaction.

Clint sighed. “Please, this is hardly any news. We knew he blamed himself.” He readjusted Steve’s arm he had slung around his shoulders and Tony’s right side of suit came to the rescue, taking most of the weight off from the billionaire. “I hate this, but I think he needs this.”

Natasha wasn’t so sure about that, but yeah, Steve definitely needed to start accepting the reality. It was probably a natural reaction to want to dull the pain with something else when work was off limits. She pressed her lips together as their whole grouped slowly made their way to Steve’s room.

“Let’s just get him to bed.”  

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Not many people could probably brag they had Black Widow’s number. Well, probably no one could, because if they told a living soul, they’d meet their end. So Sam Wilson didn’t brag. And he sure as hell didn’t call her first.

That said, he did not hesitate when she called him with location and time to meet, no greeting, no goodbye. Rude, but he’d take it. He had more than one reason, not that he would advertise it.

So there he was, sipping coffee from a take-away cup as he sat in Central Park with Black Widow, both of them having the best super-spy disguise; sunglasses and baseball caps.

The silence between them was getting awkward and Sam couldn’t take the tension anymore.

“Well, this is much more… civil than our last meeting,” he noted casually, hating to admit he was… nervous.

“I’m not gonna say sorry,” Ms.Romanoff hummed back, sipping her latté.

“Guess I wouldn’t expect that…”

He didn’t expect her to face him either but she did, a reminiscence of a sad smile gracing her lips. The warmth around his heart was familiar and not entirely unwelcomed. He found himself longing after seeing her whole face.

“I’m saying thank you, though.”

Huh.

“Didn’t expect that either,” he admitted and one corner of her lips rose higher in a smirk. Sam had a hunch she loved surprising people – or rather shocking them.  “How did it go?”

She huffed out a sound that could only mean frustration and Sam grimaced. Confrontation usually didn’t go very good, but this sounded awful.

“That well, huh?”

“No, no…” she shook her head, red curls swaying around her head elegantly. “He’s… an asshole. He fell asleep on a mission. In a cockpit. When he was piloting. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but God bless Stark’s inventions and auto-piloting,” she grunted and removed the cap of her cup before taking a long sip of her coffee.

She seemed to be gathering thoughts. Sam might not be able to see her eyes, but he did learn to read people. She didn’t like talking about feelings, but she was making an exception. Whether it was because of him, because of his job or because she wished to help her friend so badly, that remained a mystery. Either was pleasing though, the action itself intriguing Sam.

He had given her a lot of thought after their first unconventional meeting. He could not get her out of his head and for a good reason, of course.

He came to a conclusion that… despite her manners, she probably wasn’t a bad person. There were rumours about her past, but everyone had one. She was with the Avengers now, getting clean and the present and willingness to fix mistakes often mattered more than what had been done – especially when it came to a past like her own. Sam had made living by helping people dealing with their past actions and failures; judging her would be a hypocrisy and as far as he knew, he was a killer too. And if it came to it, he would punch, sliced or shot his way out again.

“It’s just… he’s… he’s really at the bottom,” she Natasha spoke softly, emotions lacing her voice. Regret. Compassion. Helplessness. Sam knew all those too well. “Seeing him going from one mission to another just to pass out in exhaustion was bad enough, because I knew it was wrong, but… seeing him drink himself into oblivion? One time only, but it was a nightmare. And seeing Steve doing nothing? Struggling to find a purpose, himself… that’s just…”

“It sucks. But he has a good friend in you. He needs time.”

“I know that, it’s… I wish there was someone hurting him so I could just punch them in their face and call it a day. But that one guy blew himself to hell and the others just… don’t really matter, getting them doesn’t do much help to Steve.”

Sam couldn’t help but smile softly as she said Captain’s name. It held a meaning – he was clearly dear to her and it went way beyond professional relationship. Not that the fact alone that she had shown up at Sam’s apartment the way she had wasn’t enough of an evidence. Not to mention her surprising openness.

“It’s a long way to recovery, Natasha.”

Her first name just slipped past his lips unwittingly, but he didn’t feel like apologizing. The informal space they found themselves in, the honest open conversation… first names suited it better. He was aware he sounded like he was speaking from experience on top of that, but it wasn’t like she didn’t know. She had done a thorough research on him.

As if she agreed with him feeling his surroundings and the atmosphere, she put away her glasses, her green eyes burning with honesty when she met his – he automatically lost the barrier too, because it felt unjust for her to be left… vulnerable like that.

“I’m truly sorry about poking at your past, Sam,”

Sam felt the last remains of hostility towards her resolve. That apology meant more than he had realized it would.

“Thanks. I get it, you know. Being worried for someone so much… he’s gonna be okay, eventually. Scarred, but okay.”

“He could be better than that…” she sighed, leaning onto the backrest of the bench tiredly.

“What was that?”

“When I confronted him on the plane… he told me he had another words,” she revealed hesitantly as if she wasn’t sure if it was her secret to tell.

Sam’s heart positively stopped. Was she telling the truth or was this a game? Did she know about his own too? He swallowed the panic when he saw her resigned gaze.

She wasn’t playing no game.

“Two soulmates. That’s rare,” he remarked, a lump growing in his throat. His palms started sweating and he hated it. Fortunately, Natasha didn’t seem to notice – or she politely ignored it, her voice dry and laced with a bit of irritation.

“He never wants to meet her.”

“That’s not rare.”

Sam would know. He had struggled with the same feeling, after all. He wanted to forget the world existed. He wanted to live peacefully and alone. It was probably no coincidence fate sent him Black freaking Widow as the one – if she was willing, Sam would not be alone. And definitely wouldn’t get ‘peace’.

If he was being truly honest with himself, he wouldn’t be able to say he minded.

“He thinks… he thinks he doesn’t deserve her or something.”

Sam sighed, mentally chuckling at the irony of fate once more. The Universe did have a messed up sense of humour, didn’t it?

“Because he thinks he blew his chance. Because he thinks that he will mess it up again and fail her. And it feels like being unfaithful,” he offered, venting his own feelings for the first time.

He had never told that to anyone, ashamed of the set of words sitting on his other collarbone, appearing shortly after Riley’s death. Why did he tell her of all people? He wanted to question his own actions, he barely knew the woman, but… there was a significant but, wasn’t there?

Her emerald eyes were searching on his face, recognition lighting them up. She fidgeted, something he hadn’t seen her do before and he was sure not many people had either. It was a privilege and while his heart started racing, seeing her nervous eased his own nerves the tinniest bit.

“…yeah. I guess. You… uhm, you dealt with someone like that too?” she asked, looking away, seemingly intrigued by something in the distance.

Sam didn’t buy it and swallowed loudly.

“Just one case in my whole carrier.”

“What did you tell them?” she queried gently, her shoulders tense.

Sam shrugged. He told himself a lot of things, but he wasn’t certain they were all presentable.

“Never figured it out. First, the meeting with his other soulmate was a bit unconventional. He kinda hated her,” he admitted, glancing at her with the corner of his eye. She gave almost an inconspicuous nod, her gaze casted down. She took it as a rejection, he realized. “Then he started thinking and realized she wasn’t too bad. He’s still struggling to make up his mind – whether he should try. Whether she would want to. She would be a catch though, no doubt,” he lighted it up, biting the inside of his cheek right after.

Was he really trying to flirt now?  

One corner of her lips rose in a smirk. “Somehow I doubt that. Sounds like a bitch.”

Sam wanted to chuckle at the joke, but then her eyes lifted to him and his heart just… stopped, the amused sound stuck in his throat. He had to clear it to be able to speak up, but it did nothing under the intensity of her gaze.

“Not to me. Not anymore.”

Natasha licked her lips – and Sam would lie if he claimed he did not mirror the motion instinctively – and finished her drink.

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you, huh? That must have been a pleasant surprise when it appeared,” she stated, a hint of amusement along with relief that the secret, the whatever that had been hanging between them, was finally addressed.

Sam snorted, not necessarily because he found his next statement funny.  

“Yeah and I bet growing up in Russia and have an English soulmark must have been walk in a park.”

Good, there was so much sarcasm in his voice he might even feel ashamed. But the redhead – his second soulmate, holy shit, it really happened – didn’t seem to be offended.

“Wow, this almost beats the way Steve met his and that was some story….”

“Yeah, I bet.”

Silence fell on them then, both of them unsure how to continue and where to go from here. They found each other – their other half, supposedly, but no one could tell the outcome.

She was an Avenger. Sam was a therapist, a veteran at ridiculously young age, because he had lost his partner. They had a perfect example of how wrong it could go, served on silver plate – it was how they had met for God’s sake. But once again – Sam would lie when saying he didn’t miss some of the adrenalin. He did. A lot, actually.

The reason he had left the field was his soulmate. Was there any better reason to get back in when the need would rise, than another soulmate?

“Do you want to explore this?” Sam broke the uncomfortable silence, lacking the courage to look at her expression. The tension in her shoulders he could almost feel told him enough. He didn’t want to see her rejection. Did he want to see her agreement though?

“Do you?” she hummed back, staring ahead just like him.

“That’s the million dollar question.”

Riley had been… his everything. But could he ignore something like this? Could he ignore the opportunity, a woman who was no doubt fabulous and he was already finding interesting and that apparently was matching his sense of humour? Did he believe in fate? Did he have the right to try again?

Deep down, Sam knew he had already made his mind about it. Now it only depended on her.

“But I keep telling everyone to move on,” he mused out loud, catching her gaze. “Try to live. Some do. Neither of them had the… advantage of having another soulmate if we can call it that.”

Small smile appeared on Natasha’s lips, new twinkle lighting up her eyes and Sam knew he had made the right decision, no matter the outcome.

He didn’t complain when she rose to her feet to clearly leave though – they had enough to deal with today, they needed more time to think of how to approach this.

“Okay. Okay then… You have my number. Call me,” she offered simply, saying goodbye only with a nod and spun on her heels.

“Oh, I will!”

She casted a flirty grin over her shoulder and Sam found himself smiling.

“Hey, you bowl?” he blurted out the first idea that came to his mind and this time she stopped in her tracks, her smile turning almost wolfish. It might have done a thing to his crotch.

“I do, but you can’t run crying when I beat you!” she smirked and gave him a wink, hips swaying as she left him behind.

His laughter sounded like a soundtrack to her catwalk.

Cheeky lady. Sam kinda liked her.  

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Part 11

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Thank you for reading! 

We’ll be leaving Stevie next time, coming back to our wayward sons and daughter (...that’s a spn reference, if any non-fan is confused). We’re getting closer, y’all!

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

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morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

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young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

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lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

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arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

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uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

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morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

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gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

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gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

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morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

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leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

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morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

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arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

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gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

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lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

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gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

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morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

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merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

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morgause: customer (derogatory)

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arthur: business major (derogatory)

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leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

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morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

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gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

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leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

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morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

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morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

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mithian: fruit (affectionate)

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arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

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gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

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morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

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kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

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morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

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morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

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percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

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morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

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morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

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morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

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kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

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morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

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gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

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merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

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arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

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gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

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arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

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elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

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morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

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leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

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leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

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gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

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gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

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morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

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morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

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morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

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arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

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morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

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mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

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merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

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gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

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gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

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percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

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arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

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merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

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morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

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merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

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gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

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morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

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morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

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merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

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morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

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morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

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mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

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morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

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arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

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merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

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morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

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website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

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gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

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morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

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morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

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gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

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morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

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morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

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merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

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arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

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gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

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morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

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morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

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gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

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morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

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gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

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morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

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morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

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arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

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merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

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gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

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percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

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morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

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mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

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morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

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mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

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morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

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morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

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morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

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morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

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morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

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season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

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morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

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arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

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morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

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mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

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mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

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morgana: i deserve to be kissed

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morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

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mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

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morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

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morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

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morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

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morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

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merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

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morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

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arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

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gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

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morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

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morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

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merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

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cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

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morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

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gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

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morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

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morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

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mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

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morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

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morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

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morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

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leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

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merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

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morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

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morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

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morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

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arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

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merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

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mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

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morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

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leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

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morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

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mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

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morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

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arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

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leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

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gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

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gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

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leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

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morgana: i have no self of steam

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gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

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morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

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gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

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morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

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gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

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arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

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[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

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morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

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gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

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gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

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percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

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morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

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morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

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merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

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morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

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mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

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gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

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merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

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gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

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morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

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morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

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fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

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morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

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arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

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morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

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morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

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elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

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morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

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[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

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morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

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arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

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morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

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morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

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morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

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morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

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mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

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morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

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gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

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morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

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morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

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uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

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morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

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morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

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arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

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mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

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mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

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morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

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gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

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morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

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gwaine: turn down for whom?

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mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

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morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

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gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

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morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

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morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

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morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[inflashback]

all the ones you want to do 👀

well, here’s everything except the ones i’ve answered, you asked for it

theyre mostly about my youngmabel au, which i will ramblr about for free if anyones interested :’)

What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

i’ve, for a really really long time, wanted to write like. a scene where laura kinney and henry sutter Talk Their Shit Out, but that would take so so long and i’m not motivated... sorry laura and henry. okay i think the rest of these will b about mabel but. gotta stick with my idiots.

Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

this is from my young mabel story !!

“[Mabel] stops banging her head when she feels a stab of anxiety slash through her stomach. It’s not hers, that much is obvious-- it’s a soft golden feeling, the nerves, the-- 

The girl in the front of her mind, with hair cut just below her ears. Small scatterings of pimples across her face. She has a smile without sharp teeth; she cracks her knuckles when she’s bored or needs to fidget; she owns a pair of overalls she wears at least twice a week in the summer, when she’s in the mood to run around the fields outside her home, barefoot, with a friend or a girlfriend, when she wants to smoke a cigarette or two (she’d kicked the habit exactly three weeks ago today, she’s really proud of herself and her sister is, too), her sister’s name is Mónica and her name is Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna--

Anna Limon, Anna Limon, Anna Limon.”

the reverance to which mabel says anna’s name has always Hit Me for personal reasons and this scene i think is good. that is all

What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

right now? either vera or mabel. vera is... not Right, and not Wanted by the outside world, so she’s angry and stupid to combat it. and mabel just... loves Her Person more than anything in the world, so there’s that. 

What character do you have the most fun writing?

again, mabel!! she’s so fun and angry all the time and it’s so freeing to just be able to do whatever the hell you WANT with a character

What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Uh!! I think i use a lot of metaphor and write a lot of physical affection :’) i’m not sure if others would agree but that’s pretty basic!!

Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

yeah...

Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? 

i write a lot of drabbles, but my proudest works are my long fic!!! i also plot way too much and i love to do it.

Do you wish you were the other?

i have no idea what this means but... yeah i guess? How would you describe your writing process?

pace around my entire house looping one (1) song thinking of one (1) scene. figure out exactly what it would take to get the characters to that point. write like 2000 words, fall asleep, cant make words for the next three years.

What do you envy in other writers?

oh god, everything. i don’t know how to make my words flow like certain people do, RIVER

Do you want your writing to be famous?

god no. my stories are mine.

Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

yes! here! there’s one story i’ve only shared with two people and that’s my borderline-ridiculous ‘beetlejuice with lab rats and gay shit and werewolves’ au, it’s the most self indulgent thing i’ve ever written and i love it so much.

At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

usually while listening to songs!! fr example my most recent posted fic is a lyric from ‘cop car’ by mitski because the line ‘i get mean when i’m nervous / like a bad dog’ makes me think of mabel, thus that fic came into existence.

Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

SUMMARIES i hate summaries usually i just paste in whatever i’ve got as the first sentence.

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

not really? new fandom but. i got my bread and butter, dude, i don’t feel like branching out. writing’s just a hobby i’m okay at.

Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

i don’t think so !! like some of the stuff is personal and you can’t really understand from an outside POV, but. most of it is just dorky found family stuff!

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

oh dear god yes... i mean. obvs river youre asking this youre aware of my aus. but i have a billion aus, theyre my favorite thing to write and ive got at least three for every fandom i’m in. i have an au for my lab rat beetlejuice au, too, which i’ll get around to writing someday.

Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

ALL I DO IS DESCRIBE PEOPLE’S TEETH AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION. uhh i use the phrase ‘bared their teeth / had far too many teeth / smiled with too many teeth’ a lot, its because i find it the easiest descriptor for monsters and i like to write about monsters.

Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

ohh god okay youngmabel take three. anna wears soft reds and lots of layers-- to contrast mabel, who wears a thin nightgown and has a bright green color palette. this is largely because mabel has been made to show herself to everyone who’s tried to control her (sally, aurora silver, etc) while anna hides in herself. anna specifically wears one of mónica’s old sweaters, because she can hide and protect herself with her family, while mabel cant. also i love mónica im so hype to have her in the series. mabel also repeats things in groups of threes (”hello, hello, hello, anna, hello, hello, hello”) because she’s fae. i love her. ough and i cant wait for the character development you guys rnt ready fr this dumb series

What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

I WOULD LOVE FR IT TO BE AN ANIMATED SERIES but also it as a film would rock.... yeahhhhh

Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

my xmen ones, yeah. they’re really comforting for me. i feel like i wanna give my kid self a big big hug.

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

probs the daemons au or the agents of shield / xmen crossover.. those both gave baby abbey a lot of fun hours.

Would you say your writing has changed over time?

yeah! ive gotten better i think

OKAY RAMBLE OVER THANKS RIV

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 13

‘what, already?’ cry the people.  ‘yes, already,’ say kc and diesel. ‘but only for like a hot second.’

okay lets just jump right on in HOORAH

It was raining. The sky roiled saltpeter grey overhead. There were Grimm nearby. Glynda touched the cracked lens of her glasses and wiped away the fat drop of rain which had splattered against it. It was cool on her fingers. She stopped walking.

i love the transition from cinder’s POV which is all meaty slimy big wet slippery fancy words to glyndas ‘listen. words are. hard.’ look at this writing. look at it. lick it.

She stood very still, trying to remember where it was.

Her hand rose to her collar. It found waterproof fabric. She was wearing her poncho.

okay but drag me i do this all the time.

It might have bothered her, if she were the kind of Huntress to be bothered by discomfort.

this whole chapter/bit/arc/everything might have bothered her, if she were the kind of huntress, to have a braincell,

also gonna double back for JUST a moment since i’m on full 👈😎👈 neighbourhood watch and i think

The Manticore seared the sky beyond the clouds like a second sun.

I FEEL LIKE THATS A 👈😎👈. IN FACT I’M PRETTY CONVINCED OF IT, ACTUALLY. HM. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-- 

its hard to like. rly say how good this narration is in its own little way because its so. like that. you know. but its making such good use of the, like, negative space between sentences that everything feels so good and disjointed and did i mention the writing alone -- like even if we ignore literally Everything Else -- blows offal hunt v1 out of the water??? like who even is that bitch. idk her. but yeah like it feels both real fast and real slow, like yr skipping from one thought to another but yr not actually GETTING anywhere? it’s like that classic case of ‘talking a lot but not saying anything’. anyway i love this fic and u should too, is my point,

Cinder made a sound. It was the kind of sound people made when they weren’t having a good time.

you know what thats a LOADED sentence and also a MOOD. what sound is that? im not sure but i Feel It. In Fact Im Feeling It Right Now.

Cinder always seemed to be having a good time.

“I need to talk to you,” Glynda said.

Cinder said, “Read the note on your Scroll.”

i dont know WHY written instructions is SO funny to me but it IS and its probably because i. have also done this. look maybe. just maybe. we in the autistic community really DO toss the braincell around like a hot potato maybe we’re onto smthng here,

Your soul is fucking disgusting, so follow me at a distance.

wrow cinder u have SUCH  way w/ words. also have u considered that yr the gross one here,

dont trust ozpin

OUGH THAT HURTED. MX AUTHORS THAT ONE REALLY HURTED.

To be a Huntress just like her mothers.

hell yes

i am still laughing at them being like. separated like this. BECAUSE IN THE FIRST VERSION IT WAS ALL 👈😎👈 AND 👈😍👈 AND 👈😏👈 but now we gotta wait for it we gotta MUSCLE THRU this SHIT. im sorry that was all very vague but trust me i know exactly what this is running up to. the fabled 👈😳👈 bit U KNO THE ONE!!!!!!!!! anyway,

After a moment, she added her to her contacts.

is her contact name 👿😡😒💩cinder “ew” fall🤬😡🤮🙅‍♀️ or

this joke isnt even funny but finding those emojis took like five whole minutes so im sticking to it

The addition said: dont trust winter

do you ever just LAUGH because 👈😔👈 but also because 👈🤣👈 cause I SURE DO

im. I KNOW I SHOULDNT but the fact cinder has to rely on fucking phonecalls because she cant get close is just the funniest fucking thing. this is some peak humour here ngl. can you fucking imagine. ‘you stinky so im just gonna call u’. the audacity.

The Manticore felt close as flame.

👈😎👈

god do i have to do this for every reference to fire now. i mean yes. also but. why.

okays theres a bit here. theres a Bit. it ends like this

In every story, the witch and the dragon were enemies.

but this Bit is just fucking loaded to the gills with bloody 👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈 so im just. ACKNOWLEDGING THE BIT AND MOVING ON. OKAY WE’RE MOVING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her Scroll made a sound like fractured glass against the wall.

me: stop talking abt how much u like the narration also me: but do the people KNOW

The smooth metal was badly cracked. She tried to remember when that had happened.

did you know the concept of her having a cracked Scroll is giving me more anxiety than anything else in this fic. please can someone replace it cracked screens STRESS ME OUT--

this bit i have to depict as a screenshot but god. GOD. its SO GOOD:

u ever read a fic and be like ‘i wanna like. do smthng like that’ ME W/ THIS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ITS JUST THE LITTLE THINGS!!!!

“You have to stop... You’re going to kill me.”

everyone else reading this part, probably: oof ough me: SHES KILLING ME TOO BABE!!!!!!! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS INHUMAN SHIT HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE LOOK AT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO ARE LIKE THE POLAR OPPOSITE OF NORMAL PEOPLE IM THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like srsly idk what it is. but getting into all this fuckin crazy shit has me AMPED AS FUCK... i love this weird shit,,,,,,,,, like when og offal hunt kinda touched it i was like ‘nice’ but this version is just. swan-diving into it butt-first and i’m THRIVING.

“We—We’ll talk. Just stop. Please.” 

see i was thinking this when she was ignoring her msgs like. cinder are you aware you are. how they say. actively making it worse? and now she reaps what shes sown and i dont feel bad for her AT ALL ~~~~~~~~~~~

“You can’t imagine what the last three weeks have been like. I can barely sleep when you’re in the same town, did you know that? It’s like swallowing salt… I feel pickled, and I didn’t even think your soul could affect me—"

theres smthng rly poetic abt their suffering being like. directly interlinked but having the total opposite effect to the other? so glynda suffers and basically caves in and feels nothing and cinder suffers and feels Every Bad Feeling Ever Felt and i just. hm. soulmates. JHGDSFJGHKDF

“Close to her, and now you,” Cinder insisted. “It’s too much of a coincidence. I’m just reading what’s there.”

“remnant is probably flat,” says cinder. “i’m just saying what my eyes see.”

She stowed it away next to Vivienne's, in a place where she would never lose them. In a million years, she would never lose them.

hey when does cinder’s name go there too asking for a friend the friend is me

i feel like bacia’s also been name dropped early!!! which is nice because y’all know im, how the kids say, a Slut for lore. anyway im liking the stronger implications of her ties to 👈😎👈 which im also thrilled abt so theres that too

“Maybe not." It was the tone of someone who didn't care. Who didn't love her.

THATS. HM. THATS AN INTERESTING ADDITION ON THE END OF THAT LINE. HM. HELLO? HM. HM. am i reading too much into it PROBABLY do i care NO

“Yes,” Glynda said. “Goodnight, Cinder.” Glynda heard Cinder’s hesitance. The line went dead.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM--

AND WE REACH THE END. boy was that a surprisingly action-packed chapter considering they dont. do anything. A HALLMARK OF GOOD WRITING. anyway this is probably? my fav chapter so far (WILD) and i am PUMPED to see how much Weirder this whole things gonna get so with that said, im gonna sit here and WAIT FOR IT.

[tryingtoimagine-fics]

Wait... THAT’S Your Sister

Characters: Bruce x sister!reader, Tony x reader, pretty much all the Avengers are at least implied if not mentioned specifically

Summary: The team finally gets the chance to meet you, Bruce’s sister, an author. However Tony, not knowing what you look like, is his usual flirtatious self at your party.

Words: 2,781

Warnings: Nothing really. I guess swearing and flirting ? 

AN: The only movie I’ve seen with these characters is the first Avengers movie that came out a few years ago, so I’m basing my characters off of fics I’ve been reading (and loving oh my god) so I apologize if my characters don’t fit the script. For that reason though, I’d really appreciate feedback on the characters!

Tony glimpsed at Bruce before letting himself stare at the excitement on the man’s face as he talked on his cell phone just on the other side of the glass walls of their shared lab space. After Bruce hung up though, Tony quickly focused back on the tabletop in front of him and when the door opened he asked, “What was that about?”

Bruce tucked his phone into his pocket with a smile, “Oh uh, just some news from my sister.”

“You have a sister?!” Tony asked incredulously.

Bruce rolled his eyes, “Yes Tony, I’ve told you this before and no, you don’t get to meet her. Why? Because I don’t want you anywhere near her.”

Bruce seemed to answer all his questions at once so Tony just let out a “hmph” before resuming his loud music.

ONE MONTH LATER

“No way! That’s amazing!” Bruce said to his cell phone as he walked across the living area towards the kitchen. “I’m so proud of you! ” He exclaims, unable to keep an ear to ear grin off his face.

“What’s got you all worked up, Brucie?” Tony asks, watching his friend enter the kitchen as he sips on his fresh coffee.

Bruce shakes his head with a proud smile on his face, “My sister’s book got picked up by a publisher. She’s gonna be an author. She is an author.”

Steve’s head perks up from the table nearby, “Wait, you have a sister Banner?”

Bruce nods, “I swear I’ve told you about her…. Y/N? Remember?” After Tony still holds his confused expression, Bruce continues, “She’s just not really into the Avengers lifestyle and I mean she has her own life, I’m not trying to interrupt that.”

ONE WEEK LATER

‘Bruce please, you talk about all these guys like they’re family. It’s only right that I - your actual - family meet all of them.’

‘But Y/N, I thought you didn’t want any of the Avengers lifestyle’ Bruce texts you back.

‘1. I never said that, you declared it and 2. Who knows, they could strike some inspiration into me for a new character in my next book!’

‘Fine. I’ll talk to them about it.’

‘Thanks Brucie, I love you!!’ You texted your big brother.

‘Yeah yeah, love you too, Y/N’ Bruce ended the conversation before heading to the living space and clearing his throat to get the attention of all the Avengers. “Hey guys, uh” he rubs his hands together nervously, “I was hoping you all could do me a favor.” After nods and mumbled affirmations from the team he continues, “There’s this party I’m supposed to go to this weekend in Minnesota and it would mean a lot if you all would come with me.” He flashes a nervous smile across the room.

“Minnesota?” Clint yelped, “In the middle of January? Are you crazy?”

Steve smiles, he sees the desire in Bruce’s eyes for everyone to say yes so he agrees to go and practically demands that all the Avengers do the same.

“Great!” Bruce cheers, “Uh not quite Tony black-tie fancy, but definitely be ready to dress up.”

FRIDAY EVENING

Upon landing in Minnesota, the team tightens their jackets around themselves and Bruce interrupts their walking when he hold his cell phone to the side, “Uh hey guys I gotta go take care of something, you can get settled at the hotel or go to The Mall of America or… something.” He hustles off from the rest of the team, suitcase still in tow as he speaks into the phone, “Yeah, yeah, yeah Y/N I’m on my way.”

“Y/N,” Tony rolls your name on his tongue, “I’ve heard him talk about a Y/N before…”

“Whatever Tony, I wanna go shopping,” Natasha sasses, pushing past the billionaire headed towards the hotel before the mall.

The Avengers assembled in Tony’s room, since he booked the penthouse, there was plenty of room for them all. “Hey, has anyone seen Banner?” Tony asks his crowd, but everyone shakes their head no so he decides to text his science partner. ‘Bruce where you at man? You’re missing the real party.’

‘...’ Tony waits, ‘Very funny, Tony. I got a room somewhere else, I’ll swing by the hotel tomorrow to get you all before the party.’

“Hmph” Tony lets out, holding his phone up as he reads Bruce’s response to the rest of the team.

“Wait, does anyone know what this party is for?” Clint asks, taking a seat next to Natasha on the plush couch.

Everyone paused before Wanda spoke up, “I think something about a book. I don’t know though, Bruce’s thoughts don’t usually make sense to me anyway” she shrugs.

“A party’s a party!” Tony exclaims, raising his glass to his lips and tucking his phone away, forgetting about anything but the friends in front of him for the rest of the night.

MEANWHILE…

“Bruce!” You fling your door open, throwing your arms around the curly haired scientist standing in your doorway. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too Y/N, but uh can we move this inside? It’s kinda cold…” Bruce’s voice drifts off.

“Sorry,” you giggle, releasing your grip on him and ushering your brother into your house, “I guess I’m just used to the cold now.”

As your brother takes off his jacket and hangs it on the hook, you can’t help but stare at him with love in your eyes. ‘What?” He asks when he notices.

You smile sweetly, snapping out of your trance with a shake of your head, “Nothing, I just missed you big bro.” You envelope him in another hug, a softer one this time.

You pull away, “Let me look at you, Y/N!” Bruce said. As you back away, letting him look at you, his face straightens, “Wow, you’ve gotten old,” he jokes.

You gasp, “Bruce!” You hit his shoulder as you walk towards the kitchen, grabbing a couple glasses and Bruce’s favorite wine. “You’re one to talk, you look like you haven’t slept since I last saw you 3 years ago.”

“Ough,” Bruce places a hand over his heart while he reached for the wine you offered him. The two of you spent the rest of the night on the couch, catching each other up on the last few years of your lives. Although you told each other the big news, like your book getting signed, there was still so much to talk about that you two were up until nearly 2 am before you showed your brother the guest room and you bid each other goodnight.

SATURDAY

You and your new PR specialist (provided by your publisher) scurried to finish the decorations at your house in the morning, leaving the afternoon for you to get into your outfit for the party after whisking Bruce away.

“Bruce there you are!” Natasha remarks, causing the Avengers to turn their heads towards the door of the penthouse as Bruce shut the door behind him.

“Where have you been?” Asked Sam, “Tony was worried about you,” he teases. “Had JARVIS try to track you.”

Just as Tony entered the room with a steaming cup of coffee, Bruce answered, “Well sorry, I wasn’t gonna let him track me to my sister’s house.”

Tony snaps, and he points at Bruce, “Y/N! I knew I remembered that!” He says triumphantly.

“Wait your sister, the author?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, it’s uh, it’s her party we’re going to. Her publisher wanted some big party and she asked me to come.”

Natasha, Wanda and Clint all looked at him with a cute, puppy dog expression and Clint even let out an “Awww.”

SATURDAY EVENING

Upon entering the home, the Avengers did not cause a stir, which was surprising since that did not happen often. Bruce tried to look for you over the sea of heads wandering through your house and after the team asked what you looked like all he could give was “Uh.. dark hair about,” he holds his hand up to the level of his eye, “This tall.”

Since that clearly didn’t help the team locate someone they had never met, let alone seen a picture of they worked their way to the bar to get their first drink of the night. While there weren’t too many people here, your house was sizably smaller than Tony’s so it seemed more crowded. “Who can have a party in a place like this?” Tony asks, “I would’ve let her use the Tower if she asked.”

Bruce just shakes his head at his friend, still peering over the crowd, trying to locate you. After a while however, he gave up and just focused on having a good time with his friends. By which point Tony had already left the group to try and find a girl for the night.

“Hi there,” Tony interrupts your conversation, causing you to turn towards him with your eyebrows raised.

“Hi,” you greeted quickly before turning back to your conversation with the owner of a local book store, ignoring the vaguely familiar man who interrupted you.

As you turned away from what seems to have been your 100th conversation of the night, he shows up again, extending his hand out to you. “I’m Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist.”

“Ahh,” you nod, smiling. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Stark,” you greet, careful not to give up your identity quite yet.

“Please,” he smirks, “Call me Tony. What can I call you later tonight?” He flirts.

You fight the urge to roll your eyes, but let a smooth smirk break out on your lips, “That doesn’t matter, I’m sure I’ll see you later, Tony.” You send him a wink before strutting away, towards the bar to pick up your first drink of the night.

“You know,” Tony begins, leaning up to your side as you stand at the wall, admiring your party. “The ‘Iron’ in ‘Iron Man’ isn’t referring to the suit, it’s referring to something else.”

You scoff and push yourself off the wall, heading into the dense crowd and leaving the billionaire behind with a smirk on his face. “I’ve been looking for a real challenge,” he mumbles to himself.

He comes up to again later in the night, whispering in your ear, “My favorite page number is 69, and I bet I can get you in that position by the end of the night.”

At this one you let out a boisterous laugh and stay there, nearly wheezing, literally crying. “That was so horrible!” You exclaim.

“Well usually I don’t have to chase this hard to get laid,” he shrugs.

“Pft. You’re not getting laid Tony Stark. At least not by me.” You pat his shoulder and walk away again.

Tony meets the Avengers in a slightly quieter corner of the house with a smile while he shakes his head softly.

“Where’s your girl for the night?” Sam asks Tony.

“I found a challenge tonight, boys,” Tony divulged, making most of the people in the room groan. “She’s gorgeous, she’s got this hot green dress on that looks so damn soft and her hair is perfect.” Before anyone can comment however, a voice comes over the speakers that had previously been playing music.

“Hi everyone,” you greet, watching as your guests flow from the outskirts to the center of your living area while you stand in the hallway overlooking your first floor as you speak. “I just wanted to thank everyone for coming out tonight and supporting me and my new novel, The Discovery. I hope you’ve all had a wonderful evening so far but before we continue the festivities I have a few people I must thank.”

“Oh shit…” Tony mumbles, realizing that he had been flirting with you, Bruce’s sister all night. He quickly looked around for Bruce, finding him nowhere nearby, luckily.

“First, of course I have to thank my new publisher not only for accepting my work but for helping me put together this amazing party,” you pause, allowing room for applause. “Also, I would be remissed if I didn’t thank my brother, who always believed in me, even more than I did in myself. It’s clear Bruce got the science and math skills in the family, leaving me with the much less-profitable skills of English and history.” The audience laughs as you look out for Bruce, finally finding him and making eye contact. “Really, Bruce, thank you so much for your never-ending support for me. Even after you got a job in the lab of none other than the oh-so humble Tony Stark,” you smirk, “You didn’t leave me behind. Thank you Bruce,” you raise your glass to your brother, resulting in applause. “Alright, that’s it for the announcements! Thanks again everyone, enjoy the rest of the night!”

With that you make your way back down to the lower level, finding Bruce waiting for you at the bottom of the stair case. He wraps you in a tight hug, “I’m so proud of you Y/N. You know I’ll always believe in you.”

“Thanks Bruce,” you smile into his hug. “Did you bring them?” You ask.

Bruce sighs but smiles too, “Yeah I did. I apologize in advance for Tony.”

You laugh, “I’m sure he won’t be a problem.” Before Bruce can question what you mean, you reach the group of superheros that came to Minnesota with your brother.

“Guys,” Bruce announces, “This is my sister and famous author, Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Bruce stop,” you blush, extending your hand to each Avenger individually, “You can just call me Y/N.” Once your hand reaches Tony, you attempt to hide the smug smile on your lip, but your brother catches on.

“Oh no, what’s that look, Y/N?” He asks.

“Oh nothing, brother dear,” you assure him sweetly, before moving towards the middle of the group you chat with them all.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” Steve questions, “Why not Y/N Banner?”

You smile, “Although Bruce Banner may not be as famous as his alter ego, I didn’t want that effecting my book sales at all, so I legally changed to my mom’s maiden name when I started writing.”

As you laugh with your brother’s family Natasha asks you a question that you had expected to hear much earlier, “I don’t mean to be rude, but why are we here?”

You laugh and respond, “That’s a fair question. My brother and I,” you look over your shoulder to see him in deep conversation with Tony, “Haven’t seen each other for 3 years, but we try to keep in touch.” You smile, remembering all the times he got so excited talking to you on the phone, “And whenever he told me about you guys I could just hear the love in his voice for all of you. You’re like family to him.” The Avengers around you grow quiet and take a moment to look up at your older brother. “I figured, as his sister, that it was about time I met the people he lives with, works with and fights with just so I know for sure that he’s in good hands.”

After glancing at your brother and receiving a small wave in return, you sigh. “Well, I guess I better get back to playing hostess. It was great meeting you all, make sure to see me before you leave! Maybe we can all get breakfast tomorrow.” You exit the room of superheroes, patting your brother’s back lovingly as you pass behind him. While behind your brother’s back you shoot Tony a wink and giggle when his eyes widen before taking on an almost predatory stare.

“Dude what is your problem?” Bruce asks Tony, trying to find where Tony’s eyes had drifted to.

“Oh uh nothing,” Tony attempts.

But Bruce’s eyes land on his sister. He quickly turns back to Tony. “No,” is all he says at first.

“What do you mean no? What are you talking about?” Tony tries to ignore the green spark in his friend’s eye. “No, you are not getting with my sister, Tony!” Bruce raises his voice.

Tony puts his hands up defensively, “I didn’t even know it was your sister, man!” He tries to reason.

“Tony…” Bruce fumes.

“What I,” Tony pauses and takes a heavy breath, “Nothing’s gonna happen now that I know. I promise,” he holds out his pinky finger.

Bruce looks from the extended pinky promise to Tony, and back again, before huffing and turning to join the crowd.

Tony exhales heavily, “That was a close one,” Natasha remarks.

Tony just glares at her for a moment before heading towards the bar to get another drink.

[sashayed]

Good afternoon, elegant natural beauties. Do u guys want to read a short, incoherent stream-of-consciousness review of Every Single Perfume I’ve Sampled since May 2016? of course you do! I put a star next to the ones that are good on me.  i originally wrote “next to the ones i recommend” but of course every perfume smells completely different on every person so Who Knows. i don’t wanna get blog sued for recommending you a fragrance that smells like a butt on you.

★ annick goutal ce soir ou jamais - rose! big, overblown, spicy rose. musky. amber. really good! a little too floral for me personally but it’s very like a flapper wearing a rose in her hair & i would recommend for somebody else

annick goutal grand amour - unremarkable, thin floral. also gone almost immediately?? what even was this. annick. get it together.

★ annick goutal nuit etoilee - ohhhh, yes. soothing, but not boring. something like -- blue-gray forests and -- mint tea? it's cool and delicate and sort of cozy. mint leaves and resin. herbal, graceful, understated: warm tea and a pine fire on a cold night. it’s too elegant to be homey. it’s like if your ex-wife of 20 years invited you over to dinner and everything in the house was lovely and the dogs were asleep and even the trees outside tapped their branches on the glass just as you remembered it, but over dinner you realized from the coolness of her glance and the graciousness of her manner toward you, you knew absolutely that she had moved on, and however kindly she treated you you would only ever be a guest in this house -- your ex-wife might wear this.

★ l'artisan mon numero 6 - sort of woodsy and masculine in a good way! sandalwood, hibiscus. a gamine in a bower.

annick goutal petite cherie edt - can something be both powdery and juicy? pear and soap? it's nice -- very girly and sort of demurely playful -- but even with a surprising musky note down in there, it doesn't make much of a statement. 

★ atelier cedrat envirat - a greener, woodsier Orange Sanguine. in spite of the name, the cedar is much more of a basenote, a strong vibration; more noteable are the citrus tones, especially as it dries. more lemon-lime than orange. delicious and fresh and invigorating. i can wear OS at any season, but this feels very summer-specific.

balenciaga b. - fresh at first but then….weird old bread?? what? what is happening. it’s still not bad but there’s something so floury/powdery about it. in spite of that bakery/kitchen association it’s not spicy – it’s green & dry. Fine, but not a keeper.

cb i hate perfume burning leaves edt - not so impressive on me anymore. it used to feel cozy and i'd get a hint of rich woods but now that sweetness is more like....bbq sauce. like, i just smell like i wandered into your house with grill smoke in my unwashed hair. this is fine and great when it happens organically, but a lil too meaty for my taste in perfume. not great projection either.

cb i hate perfume i am a dandelion - sharp & earthy greens – what florals there are are more crushed than blooming. i’d want to layer this with something but by itself it’s too much mica/dirt on me.

cb i hate perfume wild hunt - WET EARTH. foliage and moss. ozone. that low alcoholic thing that’s very cb-typical. round dirt. fades very fast.

clean rain - cheap but good. nothing remarkable though and it fades VERY quickly to regular bar soap. you could get the same effect for a fraction of the price with that $8 cucumber melon body splash from bath & body works.

★ comme des garcons blue santal - oh HELLO good MORNING! clean, tomboyish, scented wood and juniper. a ski lodge smell -- outdoorsy, but more moneyed than natural. the perfume equivalent of super-expensive ”reclaimed wood” scandinavian furniture.

d'orsay intoxication - bluh. the two words that come to mind are “honey” and “widowhood,” tbh, which makes this sound better than it is. it's just a sort of indeterminate, dated chypre floral, with an old-lady's-bathroom musk. which is better than old-man's-bathroom musk, obviously, but i'm not into this.

★ demeter honeysuckle edt - as pure and natural on me as annick goutal’s way more expensive chevrefeuille. projection & lasting aren’t as good but SUCH a fresh, sweet, uncloying honeysuckle.

derek lam 10 crosby drunk on youth edp - your cute friend’s hair after a shower. fancy girl shampoo. then it blossoms out and gets deeper & sweeter--pure honeysuckle, but still soapy, hence the shampoo. lovely, but too $$$ for basically a nice bathroom-steam smell.

dkny be desired edp - starts w/ sweet grapefruit & violet – then that shampoo-y smell – then the shampoo gets synthetic. it’s not BAD exactly, just mad artificial with a sharper and sharper plastic line through it. although ooo, as it dies down it gets REALLY nice. not worth that early stuff but very sweet and sporty.

dolce & gabbana intense - strong & sweet. intoxicating but also marshmallowy? tuberose. kind of like a lollipop. yes. booze lollipop. i dig it but it’s too sweet to be a standby for me. although the boozy vanilla about 15 mins in is SUPER delicious.

elizabeth & james nirvana black - i’ve heard this suggested as a dupe for Black Orchid but nirvana is WAY sweeter on me. more licorice, less tobacco and the vanilla comes across much less organically. some scents kind of fold your own smell into themselves and enhance it? that’s the goal for me & this w/ my particular chemistry is like the opposite. very “mask”-y.

★ giorgio armani si edp - YUM. lychee with some sharper fizz behind. black pepper? then incense/spiced wood? super sophisticated & sexy. reviews say “vanilla” – i’m not getting that at all.

gucci flora glorious mandarin edt - a burst of tangerine, then low slightly spicy flowers. good, but not great.

★ guerlain idylle - oo. oooooo. delicious. this is described as a “floral” but i’m getting something richer – something of that amber vanilla musk that i used to get with Black Orchid. i guess i smell the rose under that. as it dries it gets sweeter but not in a bad way – fruit-sweet, like a wet raspberry.

★ imaginary authors cobra and the canary - tobacco, smoke, leather. very distinctive and really kind of nice. i think you could pair this with something femmey for a really interesting layered smell but WHO HAS THE TIME!!

★ issey miyake a scent - spring. sharp cut green flower stems. wet but guarded. crisp. lemon tree & hyacinth in the very back. like it a lot. as it wears down it becomes deeper and more floral – a wet garden. (had this on same arm w/ d&g intense & they’re like the opposite of each other. a palate refresher!)

★ juliette has a gun mmm - sooooo good! like….creamy white flowers and orange rind and cinnamon? as usual with white flowers it’s a little sweeter than the woman i picture myself to be, but true to its name it is DELICIOUS.

laura mercier nuits enchantees - VANILLA EXTRACT! so delicious but unfortunately then this weird powdery almost nutty?? note appears. almond? or wait: marzipan. ough, that must be the patchouli. yeah, no thanks.

le labo vanille 44 - so good at first! rich warm vanilla-extract vanilla. spicy. wintry. something a little like rubber or plastic – or playdoh?? – deep under it, which is the only drawback -- except that then as it dries it fades to just that rubber plastic thing. :/ this was a disappointing relationship.

miller harris la pluie - weirdly old & incongruous on me – like one of those perfume sampler packs i played dress up with as a kid. not bad, but seems to have nothing to do with my skin.

oscar de la renta something blue - PURPLE MARKER SMELL? remember those smelly markers and the purple one was really good? this is like a fancier version of that. then it goes to more complex flowers.

★ pinrose treehouse royal - this is SO FAMILIAR, why?? what is it? vitabath??? green, delicious, ginger underneath. cassis and vetiver. very clean. i’ve never tried pinrose before and i really like it!

★ pinrose campfire rebel - oh wow. oh WOW. green smoke. everything i stopped getting from burning leaves – none of that charcoal meatiness. just clean autumn air and good whiskey. i gotta get more pinrose!

★ prada luna rossa - POWERFUL dude musk. spicy herbal, amber-y. Very very masc. Feels like Jean Dujardin inviting you behind the boat house for a cigarette.

ralph lauren polo black a wealthy, slightly effete dude sauntering out of the locker room. tropical fruit and sandalwood. very clubby, but also VERY delicious – at first. unfortunately it fades FAST to Eau de Douche. like, not the vaginal hygeine product, just a douchey guy in a club. ugh.

ralph lauren romance - very femme perfume-y – the opposite of luna rossa. Flowers first – rose & lily? Feels like the dullest body splash you could get from Victoria’s Secret. Inoffensive, boring flowers.

stella mccartney sheer - fruity! a less strong l'imperatrice. juicy. sweet and soapy.

★★★ tom ford noir pour femme - ohhhh shiiiiiit yes. ohhhhh you’ve done it again thomas. musk and vanilla. warm smoke. cardamom. this perfume is a cardamum blessing. i feel so sophisticated yet sexy yet also somehow cozy and warm?? a femme fatale in an oversized sweater. oh god, it just gets better and warmer and sexier every minute. WHEN WILL I BE RICH?? @daeontherun bought me a tube of this for XMAS because she’s a SAINT and we all put it on and spent the rest of the evening deeply inhaling our own wrists. can’t recommend highly enough.