#ough i can’t state how good it was

[sentientgolfball]

I humbly request the I’ve been getting ready for forever bc I wanna look good for you prompt with Swiss and Phantom 🖤🖤

I love me some good Swisstom ough

Swiss sighs, checking the time on his watch again. He’s been waiting in the lobby of the hotel for what feels like ages. To his credit though, Phantom is almost fifteen minutes late. They had a day off before having to pile back onto the buses and to their next venue in the middle of some Midwestern state. Swiss wanted to do something nice with his little bug while they had the time. He knows how rough the first tour can be and he can see the fatigue starting to claw at them. They’ve got lines under their eyes that won’t disappear. They spend just as much time in the shower as a dehydrated water ghoul, using hotel hot water until Swiss knocks on the door for his turn. He notices every time they hiss in pain the day after a show, muscles obviously sore from the over the top performance they give every night. 

He figured exploring the cute little downtown area of where they’re at would be fun, the shops they passed on the way in the day before looked promising. He suggested they go out when they got back from the show, sleepy words exchanged while cuddled under the covers. Phantom had seemed excited, albeit exhausted. Though now Swiss worries they may have just been saving face. He checks his watch again. 

He tries to distract himself by idly scrolling on his phone, but he’s not paying attention. Every time the elevator dings his focus shifts, hoping this time he’ll see the glamoured face of Phantom. He taps in and out of their message thread a few times, debating whether or not he should text them. If they went back to bed he doesn’t want to disturb them, they deserve to rest. But what if they forgot? They can be a little spacey at times. What if he’s down here working himself up and they’re up in their room wondering where he’s at? They could’ve gotten tangled up with one of the others. He’d hate to disturb them if that’s the case. He has been keeping the little bug nearby every chance he gets. 

He doesn’t realize he’s bouncing his leg and picking at his nails until his phone vibrates in his hand. His stomach swoops before he refocuses and sees it’s a message from Aurora. 

They’ll be down soon >:) 

The corner of his mouth quirks up just a bit. It simultaneously makes him feel better and worse. He’s glad their little day is still on, but now he can’t help but wonder why they were with Rora for so long. He tries to shrug it off, Phantom is an affectionate little creature and those two are like glue. He feels silly for even worrying, he knows they adore him. Still, that little voice in the back of his mind makes his skin itch. 

He’s broken from his thoughts when the elevator doors slide open and a familiar face finally pops out. He stands to go over to them, but he pauses when he gets a good look at them. Their hair has been put up in a bun, the white streak hanging out to frame their face. Their undercut looks freshly buzzed. They have a thin layer of makeup on, nothing over the top but still enough to notice. They’re in a pair of earthy green cargo pants and a sleeveless black mock top. Swiss nearly loses it when he sees the freckles on their shoulders. He has no words. This is a drastic change from the ripped jeans and hoodie-jacket combo they usually go for. 

“Sorry I took so long,” they smile at him, words a little breathless, “Rain and Aurora said you’re supposed to dress up for dates and I wanted to look nice for you.” 

Swiss surges forward, capturing them in a deep yet chaste kiss. They make a surprised noise before closing their eyes and melting into it. A deep chuckle rumbles in Swiss’ chest when he feels them smile against his lips. 

“So that means you like it right?” Phantom asks when they part. 

“Buggy you look amazing,” Swiss grins, “you didn’t have to get all dolled up for me.” 

“Wanted to.” They shrug and blush, eyes looking anywhere but his face. 

Swiss presses another quick kiss to their lips. They stare at each other for a moment, grinning like giddy teenagers before he finally speaks. 

“We should get going. I saw a little ice cream shop nearby. I think we should hit it.” 

Their eyes light up at the mention of ice cream. They slip their hand into Swiss’ with a light squeeze, “lead the way.”

[ropes3amthoughts]

To my homies who encouraged me to get Twitter, thank you so much. There are so many gorgeous Kabrus there and the overall Kabru content is plentiful. Also I just saw this absolutely divine jawdropping enchanting gorgeous stunning beautiful Kabru art and I am in a state of shock. Like look at this holy shit?????? Like click on the link and click on the image and zoom in on the details and stuff this is so incredible. I mean you don’t have to but this is so good and I’m losing my mind and there are so many little details you won’t see unless you zoom in so I recommend it.

For anyone looking quickly this is not my art it belongs to the Twitter user in the link and it’s so good I would recommend looking at it

https://x.com/Neruchiru_08/status/1841319033632862418

I get insane under the cut

It’s been like 4 hours and I cannot stop thinking about it. Every time I stand up I start shaking. I feel nauseous and am coughing constantly. I feel like I am choking. That image will be burned into my brain for a very long time. Why doesn’t Twitter let you reblog with really long comments I need to say a million compliments. My voice is cracking. My heart is hammering. I’m warm and sweaty. Holy shit I am fagging it up bro. It’s beautiful as an art piece because the composition and colors and stuff are absolutely amazing and it’s beautiful if you’re queer (or straight and like Kabru too) because Kabru looks so good. His shoulders are showing and something about Kabru’s shoulders showing makes me insane. Like I thought the whole “you can’t show your shoulders” dress code thing in school was a bunch of dumb bullshit but oh boy I understand now. Every time I see Kabru’s shoulders I think “I want to bite that man” and then I’m all like “WOW who just thought that” but it’s me I’m thinking that I’m going insane over him I want to bite his shoulders he makes me crazy he’s so pretty oh goodness wow oh wow oh wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww IM GOING INSANE a lot more people have seen it now but I need to show this to everyone you guys don’t understand how this makes me feel I’m going to pass away and fall over and cry you guys look pretty Kabru art guys guys it’s Kabru being gorgeous oh my fucking god guys guys I am going to be sick guys oh god guys do you see him he’s so pretty guys guys guys holy shit dude guys. I am an enjoyer of the arts. I enjoy this art. For sure. Wow. Awesome. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. I am going to lose my mind. Ough. Guys. Guys guys guys. Do you????:!: seee????? The Kabru??????? Oh my god. Compliments to the artist. Beautiful. Beautiful lovely fantastic work. Awesome. This is great. I’m losing it. I showed my discord friends and I reblogged on Twitter and stuff but I wanted to show you guys too because I am a big fan of this beautiful Kabru art. I love this insanely much. Kabru fish…I love this creature the Kabru fish. Great 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 chat I am gonna die this is too beautiful Ough beautiful Kabru

I’m being so dramatic you guys but do you understand the power this art has do you understand my feelings I love this art so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Kabru 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Kabru fish 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 gorgeous 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[friendsoup]

WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS ON THE FLOOR READING THE SOBER THOUGHTS FIC⁇⁇⁇⁇⁇⁇⁇⁇ IT WAS SO GOOD ESP FOR MEDICINE POCKET.... WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT TO ASK FOR A PART 2 TO IT? like how reader finally sobers up but doesn't exactly remember what had happened after they got hit with diggers atk until pocket and dikke explain it to them ⎯ bla bla BLAH reader is flustered and embarrassed, frantically trying to hide away and make excuses for their actions even though they were completely pure truths of their affections towards them, and even going as far as to say "Pretend it never happened/you didn't hear it!" how wld pocket and dikke react ... or more like, return reader's feelings while also being embarrassed abt the situation

Sober Thoughts Pt 2

Recipe: Romantic fluff, Proper confessions, Hungover! Reader, Reader x Medicine Pocket, Reader x Dikke, GN! Reader, Devoted Dikke, Playfully teasing Medicine

WC: 1,979 (one day I'll get 1999)

Chef's Note: OUGH sorry this took so long!!! I'm working on like. 3 fics at once. I just happened to finish this one first lmao. I hope it's what you were looking for! I certainly had fun writing it!

The first thing that comes to you is the pounding in your head.

It feels like someone’s beating you with a hammer, a dull thud banging over and over again into your temples. Your brain feels like it’s being squeezed, making it hard to think, or comprehend anything but the pain. Has it always hurt so much to live? 

Against all better reasoning, you attempt to open your eyes. Slowly, they peel open, instantly flooded by the lights and colors of your room. It feels like a stab to the eyeballs, your head throbbing in response. You groan, squeezing your eyes shut. Since when does seeing hurt to do? “You’re awake.” You hear a familiar voice say. Cautiously, you turn your head again, peeking out of one eye. And there they are. Medicine Pocket, sitting right next to your bed. Their hair is undone, falling over their shoulders in a messy cascade. Their eyes look tired, but they’re still managing to pull a smile. “You’ve given everyone quiiiiite the heart attack.” They chuckle, poking your forehead. “Come on, sit up. I have some water for you.” That is music to your ears. 

You scooch upwards, your sore muscles screaming at you to stop. It feels like you’ve just ran a marathon, your body inexplicably pained by… something. Something you can’t quite remember. Medicine shoves a cool glass of water in your hands, and instantly you feel better. Just the cold touch of the glass is enough to relax you, and when you put the glass to your lips? The relief is like no other. You gulp it down greedily, finishing the cup in a matter of seconds. You hand it back to Medi, feeling slightly better.

“Bunny Bunny has something she calls a ‘hangover cure’ that she’s cooking up for you.” Medi states, snorting. “Apparently it’s popular. Both Pavia and Centurion swear by it.” You can barely comprehend what they’re saying, your mind swimming in pain. But the sound of their voice is comforting. You’re glad they’re here, next to you, during this time of need. However, there’s something on your mind. “What… what happened last night?” Your confusion makes Medi burst out into laughter. You writhe in pain as the sound hits your ears, the shrill laughter doing nothing for your headache. You shrink down into your bed, hitting your head against the pillow as you prepare for something terrible to come out their mouth. “You got hit by one of Diggers’ bubbles.” Medi explains between laughter. “You were out of it.” You groan, bits and pieces returning to you. “When we got you to the suitcase, you nearly fell face first down the stairs. I had to catch you.” “Nooooo…” “You started petting Pickles, then broke into tears over how fluffy he was.” “Noooooooooo, don’t remind mee…” You hide your face under the covers. “You sang karaoke with Regulus. I have it on camera.” “Nooo you don’t! Pocket, come oooon…” “You also told me you loved me.” You freeze, suddenly tensing. Surely you didn’t… did you? “Oh.” Is all that can escape you. “That’s…” You bite your lip, not knowing what else to say. “You said I’m smart, and skilled in battle, and stupidly beautiful.” They trail on.

Your face feels as if it’s on fire. You want them to stop, yet you can’t make the words. 

“You said you think about me at night, and that every time I look at you I set you on fire.” “Please, please stop!” You beg, tears beginning to well in your eyes. You can’t stand the teasing any longer, it’s too much. “Just forget about it, alright?! I wasn’t in my right mind. I was out of it! Just act like it never happened, okay?!”

Medi flinches back at your sudden resistance. You’ve never snapped back at their teasing before. This was new. Had they accidentally hit a nerve? 

“Hey, I’m-” “No, just stop! I know you want to continue to make fun of me, but I can’t take it! Everything hurts, and I ruined our friendship, and I just want to be left alone so I can rot forever!” You sob, tears rushing from your eyes now. Your head pounds further, but nothing hurts as bad as the tear in your heart. “[Name]!” Medi exclaims. “I’m sorry!” “You’re…” You wipe your face with your blanket. “What?” “I’m sorry. For teasing you.” Medi rubs at their neck, staring at the ground. “I didn’t know you’d be a big baby about it. I’m sorry.” You blink. For as long as you’ve known Medicine Pocket, they’ve never apologized. You didn’t think it was possible for them to. That they’d explode if they ever tried. Though it wasn’t the most ideal apology, it was more than what you were used to from them. “But.” Medi continued, slowly. “I can’t just forget about it. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you’ve said.” A blush falls upon their cheeks. “[Name], you make me happy. Like, really happy. There’s something about your idiotic face that makes it hard for me to think straight. I’ve never… I’ve never really felt that before. For anyone. It’s weird and confusing, and sometimes I think I hate it. But I want to be with you. Even if it’s just for a bit.” “Medicine…” You look up at them, eyes as round as saucers. “Yeah?” They ask, catching their breath. “You picked the worst time to confess!” You break into a smile, wincing at the sudden movement. “Really? While I’m hungover of all things?” You reach out a hand, playfully pushing them away. “At least I’m not doing it mid-battle! Like some of us.” They playfully whap you back, a smirk returning to their face.

The two of you laugh, before falling into a pleasant silence. “I’d like to give us a shot, [Name].” Medi says, bashfully looking towards you. “I’d like that too.”

Drunk Words pt 2

You have a nightmare that night. In your dream, a large eagle with red eyes stares daggers into you, while you attempt to escape from it’s twisted forest.

No matter where you turn, it’s always ahead of you, it's bird face full of hatred. You duck under branches, twist between trees, and hide under brush, but you can still feel it’s glare wherever you go. Always lurking.

Always ahead. You wake with a start.

The first thing you notice is that you’re covered in sweat. Your clothes stick to your body, making it nearly impossible to move and breathe. It’s a gross sensation, nearly unbearable, made worse by the fact that it’s paired with a killer headache.

Your head pounds, your stomach churns, and everything feels hot and close. You feel as though there’s been a great pressure placed on you, and it’s slowly crushing you into the bed. You force yourself to sit up, wiping your wet forehead with an equally wet arm. Your vision is hazy, blurred and swirling as the room rocks around you. It takes you a moment to realize that you’re in your room. And that there’s someone at the door. The eyes from your nightmare fall upon you, as blank and as cruel as you remember them to be. You flinch back, then flinch again at the pain, as your head spins in confusion. Wait. You know that red glare! “Dikke?” You ask. You didn’t realize it until now, but your mouth is horribly dry. It feels like someone shoved cotton into your jaw and left you to choke. “Yes, M’lord?” Dikke asks, standing up a bit straighter. “What are you doing in my room?” Dikke’s face goes red, her eyes falling to the floor. “Making sure you’re protected, M’lord. I couldn’t be too careful.” Now, you might be out of it, but you’re pretty sure there’s no threats nearby. What the hell was Dikke talking about? “From…what?”

Dikke’s face grows more embarrassed, as she lowers her head now, trying to shield her expression. “You see, you were… compromised last night. You were in a vulnerable state. I had to make sure you got the rest you needed to recover, and that no one took advantage of your stupor.” Well that was at least sweet. You think. Not that you suspect anyone in the suitcase would really do that. The worst would be Tennant, who’d probably try to swindle any remaining money out of you. But other than that? You trusted the people you worked with.

Slowly, memories return. “Oh,” You groan, the cause of all this hitting you like a freight train. “I got hit by one of Diggers’ bubbles, didn’t I?” You sigh, dragging your fingers through your hair. “I didn’t do anything too embarrassing, did I?”

Dikke shakes her head. “You wanted to go out and, uh, socialize, but I put an end to that. Once we got back, I made you dress and go straight to bed. To prevent any further harm from being done.” You sigh in relief. “That’s good. Thank you, Dikke.” “Except- there was one thing.” 

Oh no.

“You…” She stumbles over the first word, you can see she’s struggling to get it all out. “You told me that… Well, the thing is, you said something. And I… I’m simply wondering… Ah, no, that’s not it.” You lean forward, intrigued by the hesitation. “You told me that you loved me.” She finishes, giving a pitiful look to you. “Gah! What? I did?” You exclaim. You don’t remember that at all! “How- What- Huh?” “It was not a full confession.” Dikke admits. “You told me that I was beautiful, and then exclaimed ‘I love you’. But you were quite out of it…” Her expression twists between sad and expectant. It’s clear that she wants you to say something, but you aren’t sure what. “I probably didn’t mean it in a romantic way!” Probably? God, could you be any less convincing?! “I probably just meant it as a friend thing! You know? How friends call each other beautiful and stuff?” You’re sweating bullets all over again, making the bed even more uncomfortable. “Ah.” Dikke looks quite defeated, her gaze returning to the ground. “So you mean to tell me, you do not have romantic feelings for me?” What are you even supposed to say?! The brave knight of justice has never looked so pitiful or small. She looks like a gentle wind could blow her down! You bite the inside of your cheek, closing your eyes as you try to find the correct words to say. “If I did have romantic feelings for you, hypothetically, what would you say?” You ask, opening one eye to study Dikke. “That my heart burns for you as well. And that I want to pledge my unyielding loyalty to you, and to our love.” She states, bowing. “Well, what if, again hypothetically, I said I wanted to take it slow at first? Ease into the whole, unyielding loyalty thing.” “Oh.” You see the gears turning in her head as she stands up straight. “Yes, I’m sure I can do that too.” She coughs into a closed fist, glancing away.

“Then, well…” You sigh. “I do like you. And I do want to take things slow.” You admit, crossing your arms. The light which appears in Dikke’s eyes are like no other. She’s like a kid seeing a christmas tree for the first time, all wonder filled and bright. She runs to your side, kneeling at your bed. Looking up to you with so much admiration, you could swear it was almost worship. “You’re being truthful, M’lord? Yes?” “Yeah, I am.” You sink under her gaze, not used to it being so soft. It’s cute. Too cute. “Then I will be your knight, yours and yours alone, to defend you and follow you to the ends of the earth.” She swears.

You wonder, briefly, what you’ve gotten yourself into.

[loonybun]

Meeting Aisling (CYOA) 3

hiiiii ough this took forever :( don’t feel like it’s super good but new character! yay!!! he’s normal guys i promise (fingers crossed behind my back)

contains: captivity, faerie carewhumper, dryad guy of unknown whumperee status, references to past abduction(s), fantasy whump, fantasy setting, manhandling.

—————————————————

You decide to look for anything that could help you escape— or at the very least tell you where you are. The window is the obvious thing to look at, considering it’s the only other possible way out of the room. The gaps in the vines are big enough for you to stick your hands through, but you probably couldn’t get much further.

From the holes, you can see a village beneath the structure you’re in. People. There are people here. If you made enough noise, maybe someone would come and save you.

The trees around the village are thicker than most of the houses. Massive structures that you can’t even see the tops of. Branches as big as trains.

Even if the window wasn’t obscured, it’d be too high to jump from. You’re not going to have much luck with it.

You walk over to the vanity in one of the other parts of the room. The mirror greets you with your disgruntled state, twigs and flowers sticking out of tangled hair.

The table is covered with all kinds of trinkets. Bells, flower circlets, crystals, little animals made of glass. It may have been a charming collection under different circumstances, but unfortunately you don’t have time to focus on something so small.

Besides the vanity, there’s also a desk filled to the brim with papers and books. Bottles of ink line the shelf above it. Great, the weirdo that kidnapped you is a writer. You can definitely use that to escape. Maybe threaten to set some of his manuscripts on fire or give him a bad review. That’ll show him.

You groan and go back over to the bed, flopping onto the soft mattress. Despite your amazing investigative skills, you’d somehow neglected the plate of fresh berries on the bedside table. Just looking at them makes your mouth water.

If you’re going to escape, you have to have some fuel in you, right?

As you reach out to grab one of the fruits, something snaps around your wrist and yanks it away.

“Don’t eat that.”

The roots around your arm squeeze it tightly. After you recover from the shock, you turn to face the source of the voice.

The tree.

The fucking tree.

Or what was a tree five seconds ago, at least. Of course. Why not? Magical bug men, talking trees, sure. Just throw in a dancing bear at this point.

The tree— or man, you’re not sure what to describe it as— is giving you a hard glare. It’s entirely made of wood, save for its flowering hair and a few rogue blossoms. If looks could kill, you have a feeling that they wouldn’t be able to put your corpse back together.

It slowly retracts its branches from your wrist, forming them back into a more hand-like structure.

He inspects you for a moment.

“…His standards get lower by the hour. Goodness, where did he even find you? A dog park?” The— whatever he is, scoffs.

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment. He wasn’t wrong, you did look like a mess, but that doesn’t mean his words don’t hurt.

He plucks a leaf from your hair and grins. “I mean, this is just sad. And I thought the last one was bad… No, you take the cake. Anyways, how long were you planning on staying here? Come up with any daring escape plans yet? Please, do tell.”

Even if you had, telling this thing seemed like a bad idea. He definitely doesn’t have your best interests in mind.

“What?” The man(?) frowns. “Too harsh? Alright, fine. I should have just started with names. Have you given yours to him yet?”

You shake your head.

“Good. Don’t. Anyways, since you won’t have much of a use for it anyways, mine is Oleander. You don’t have to give me yours if you don’t want to. I’d like to keep this interaction as quick as possible. Feel free to ask questions though. Better to hear it than learn from experience in this case.”

Well, you sure had a lot of questions. Why are you here? Where is here? What is he? What snatched you away to begin with?

“Ohh, you’re one of the panicky ones. Alright, well, for starters, you’re in a tree. Or a palace. Whatever you’d like to imagine it as, honestly. I don’t know the exact reason you were brought here, but I have a few guesses. Let’s just say none of them are situations anyone would want to be in.” He keeps up with your rapid-fire, only taking a moment in between questions.

“I’m what’s called a dryad. Essentially, a plant with a consciousness and a body created by magic— You do know what magic is, right? Yes? Alright, that saves some explaining. I don’t really want to get into detail about what a faerie is, but that’s what the other man was. Anyways, I’ll be brief, I don’t want you here, and I’m assuming you don’t want to be here either, right?”

You nod.

“Good. That saves me some trouble. I’m going to help you escape. Now, he’s probably going to be back within the next ten or so minutes. You’re not going to mention me to him, understand? He doesn’t know I exist, and I want to keep it that way.”

After you give another nod, he sighs in relief. You watch as Oleander moves back towards the center of the room, his wood skin slowly morphing, bending, and reshaping until you’re left “alone” again.

Your chest feels lighter. There’s still a chance to escape. While you’re still not entirely sure you can trust your new companion, he’s still a failsafe if you can’t find another way out of here.

Just a few minutes later, the door swings open and a familiar person enters the room.

Person? Was that right?

Ai smiles at you, slit pupils you hadn’t noticed previously practically glistening when he spots you at the far end of the room.

“Oh— Hi! You’re awake now? Is everything alright? You look a little shaken up…” He flutters over to you.

Flutters. Right. Wings.

You can’t help but stare. Whatever you’d met in the woods hardly resembled him now. The fae in front of you dawned a long, fairly intricate cloak. His skin— or fur, it’s honestly hard to tell, is a soft pink. He’s not unpleasant looking in any sense, just… Unusual. If it weren’t for the sharp teeth, he’d almost look approachable.

He’s acting like he’s actually concerned about you. Like he didn’t just take you to an entire new dimension. Like there’s any other reason that you’d be upset. You just continue to stare, unable to create a response with the knot in your throat.

Ai sets a hand on your shoulder reassuringly. “Upset? That’s okay. I know it’s a lot for you to take in. I hope you don’t feel like I was trying to deceive you before in the woods… I just thought you seemed interesting! I wanted to get to know you a bit before… Well, before all of this. I didn’t mean to rush you.” You’re hardly paying attention to what he’s saying. He kidnapped you. Of course you’re upset!

“You probably feel scared, don’t you? I… I want to say that I won’t hurt you. Those aren’t my intentions with you. Why don’t we get to know each other a bit better? I want to understand you, and I want you to be able to understand me, too. I know this isn’t the best first impression… But I really didn’t want to have to mess with your memories again. I want to do it right this time.”

This is insane. You can’t read him. What does he want from you? He said he doesn’t want to hurt you, but none of his actions so far have even slightly supported that. He abducted you. He chased you through the fucking woods. What other reason could he possibly have for keeping you here?

“Go ahead, ask me anything.”

taglist: @whumpy-wyrms @inkwell-and-dagger @lordcatwich @kawaii-cakes @enigmawriteswhump (let me know if you want to be added!!!)

[inkbagel]

Can’t sleep so choosing to ramble about addict with a pen instead :P going to talk about my religion a bit

ADDICT WITH A PEN IS SO GOOD. It’s one of the more relatable songs for me as a Christian. To me it’s always been about falling out of your faith bc of your mental health which OUGH SHOT IN THE HEART MAN

The water is representing Christ to me and how when you’re in that state you’re both clinging desperately onto your beliefs and also searching for any sign of your old faith but seeing none. And the sand is like your mental issues, which are slowing you down from searching.

Hello, we haven’t talked in quite some time, I know I haven’t been the best of sons, hello, I’ve been traveling in the desert of my mind, and I haven’t found a drop of life.

THIS PART ESPECIALLY. Like if this is about struggling with being a Christian while fighting your mental health I can relate to this so hard. Not practicing any of your beliefs bc of your mental state. And feeling guilty about it. “We haven’t talked in quite some time I know I haven’t been the best of sons”…..

I haven’t found a drop of you. I haven’t found a drop of water.

This is the same as before in that like. Searching your brain for any motivation to get up and pray or study the bible or anything. But you can’t find it. I’m.

I try desperately to run through the sand as I hold the water in the palm of my hand, ‘cause it’s all that I have and it’s all that I need and the waves of the water mean nothing to me.

This is to me like trying so hard to hold on to what’s left of your beliefs but you’re still declining and having a hard time with it.

But I try my best and all that I can to hold tightly on to what’s left in my hand, but no matter how, how tightly I will strain, the sand will slow me down and the water will drain.

Again it’s like you’re trying SO HARD to stay faithful but every day you’re doing less and less to practice your religions. Your mental health is stopping you. The sands slowing you down.

My trial was filed as a crazy suicidal head case. But you specialize in dying, you hear me screaming "father" and I'm lying here just crying, so wash me with your water.

THIS LINE. THIS FUCKING LINE. Istg this is a song about religion. I’m like 90% certain this is a bible verse.

But “you hear me screaming ‘father’ is like asking god for help when you’re not doing well. And “I’m lying here just crying” is again. Like asking him for help when you can’t help yourself. It’s so sweet. I’m so mentally ill.

The whole song is just. Like I can’t stop thinking about it. You want to keep what little water you have left with you but the desert is hot and dry and you have nothing to hold it with but your hands. There’s no other water for miles. You’re in a desert. The sands slowing you down and keeping you from searching for more water. There’s no more water left.

This band has genuinely warped my perspective on being a Christian and I really don’t think I’d still be religious if it weren’t for their music. Tyler Joseph is an amazing poet and many of his songs are just like. Such a better idea of how to be religious than I learned. This band means so much to me for so many reasons. This is one of them.

[kadextra]

I’ve read quite a lot of orv over the past few weeks when I could, adding onto this long post as I went on so….. here we go!!

(warning major super ultra mega spoilers)

previously

-

Starting with the fight between dokja & joonghyuk during “a story that can’t be shared” episode.

At first after reading that battle I was really confused of what yjh’s intentions were, I’m gonna be honest. 😭 did he really want to kill dokja or not, or was it a plan he and sooyoung cooked up? that’s what it sounded like when they talked about it so??? why did he start smacking the fourth wall?? I had to read this part multiple times, and even look up interpretations on the internet that night to understand it. but I finally did! :3

dokja was just an incredibly unreliable narrator there, that’s why it was challenging to figure out yjh’s true motivations. dokja normally is unreliable so that’s normal, he thinks he understands people better than he actually does. and his mind was also in an even worse state after consuming that Eden good and evil fruit & practically losing it when he thought sooyoung died

joonghyuk never wanted to actually kill him- he had read the record of 1863rd turn, and the fight was all because he wanted to know the truth if dokja had given up on them & the 3rd round. if dokja did, then joonghyuk was prepared to give it up too (meaning: die. kdj didn’t even realize that was happening)

thankfully joonghyuk got the answer to the question he wanted, he didn’t die, he will live and reaffirmed himself as a “former regressor”. ough <3 he knocked dokja out and was attacking the fourth wall in hopes he could break through it and learn more of dokja’s thoughts.

very cool and emotional fight overall!!!!! reread it like 8 times I enjoyed figuring it out

-

And then I cried.

That whole goodbye conversation between dokja and sangah was beautiful…. so wistful about what things could have like been for all of them in another world…. and how even if things don’t go the way you expect, you have to live. at the end of the day everything is all about love… T_T I love her

then it came in with the double whammy of tears with THIS

HE WAS CRYING!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 AND IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY 😭😭😭😭😭

-

The kaizenix scenario starting had me giggling and incredibly entertained because PRINCE RICARDO is here!!!! literally sat there laughing in total disbelief at the sudden reincarnation fantasy story that came out of left field 😭 help my orv changed genres

laughter abruptly stops

wtf

the party members have already spent several years in this place before dokja got here and they all lost their egos after being weathered away by the march of time, hopelessly waiting for him? 🙂 heewon and hyunsung forgot each other??? that scene absolutely tore my heart out. pls do not separate them. SOOYOUNG WAS THERE FOR 50 YEARS! CRAZY! she wrote a novel too. ended it the same as twsa🥲

“It’d been better if I sacrificed myself instead” kim dokja you better shut up

but at least everything turned out well in the end for this arc so I am happy :,)

-

And the good and evil war started!! I watched the resident problem son go home and visit his parents- the literal gods of the underworld! (I love that this whole thing between these three has happened)

ofc dokja had his parents gossip about his love life there too

💀💀AKDJFKFLGLRNWKFKGKAJEDM I CANR BREATHE

but the reveal that it was Hades who discovered dokja from the very beginning and watched him together with Persephone. they really loved and wanted to adopt him all along didn’t they, best mom and dad for our prince 🥹 and even though dokja has hated the constellations, he cares about them and doesn’t want those two to disappear aughfhghghgh.

-

HEEWON UNLOCKING HER CHAOS JUDGE FORM AND MURDERING TONS OF DEMON KINGS AFTER LEE HYUNGSUNG’S SACRIFICE. “Sympathy? Utterly disgusting.” SHAKING. EDGE OF MY SEAT. I love you jung heewon 💖 she is so cool and my eyes are leaking 😭

after that whole mess finally the entire Kim Dokja’s Company has assembled together again including an unconscious lee hyunsung but at least he’s not dead like I fully believed for a hot minute <3

naturally though they can’t have good things and the apocalypse dragon revived anyways against their best efforts, because the seekers of the end are all a bunch of insane people. that thing is powerful enough to kill constellations with a flick of its tail 💀

mom and dad came to help <3 but I got really anxious reading because everybody by this point was exhausted or hurt too badly or to block the third wave.

I had no clue how they’d resolve this chaotic situation it was not looking good

it was looking so bad in fact,

KIM DOKJA. PULLING THIS AGAIN

WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU LIKE THIS SIR

it’s always in situations where I know he has to do it or literally everybody horribly dies but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it!!!!!! (that’s a lie I was super hyped) still. grabs him with my fists.

Going to ramble a bit here, but the way orv introduces new concepts is so natural and interesting. from the walls, to how stories can talk to you, now to the existence of “chaos” as the void/between of good & evil. it’s the first time I have been hearing this term explained in the story, yet it feels like it’s always been a fact, because it connects so well to what I already know. like of course the outer gods are beings originated from chaos, what else would they be? chaos in mythology was the origin state it makes total sense

being the demon king of salvation means to save people no matter what…… screams cries throws up

“That man is the world I wish to save” BLEW ME AWAY. such a hard line oh my goodness. I love you jung heewon 💖

and all the monologues from dokja in the void space between the indescribable distance and apocalypse dragon, slowly withering away but holding onto life because he wants to live 😭 he sacrificed himself, but it’s different this time because he asked to be saved. he took that action while putting full faith in his companions to do their best to save him. he wants to live. “will to live” even became a stigma 🥲 I can’t do this

-

Son Wukong my guy finally descended into the scenario and its as epic as I always hoped, hayoung was so smart for that. the monkey king himself helped fight off the fog clones and made a way for the trio go save dokja, so awesome. heewon boosting the other two forward, and sooyoung finally boosting joonghyuk.

joonghyuk following the fragments of dokja’s broken star in the pitch black darkness was an incredibly beautiful imagery for a scene, I saw it vividly it makes me want to draw it so bad. and the stuff yjh was desperately thinking during that got me teary eyed, of course. all I do while reading this story is get emotional damaged

but before yoo joonghyuk could reach dokja, someone else reached him first.

honestly felt my heart freeze over while reading that part.

but LETS GOOOOOOOOO FINALLY secretive plotter reveal!! I’ve been waiting for this for so long!!! It’s not future dokja, it’s future joonghyuk!!! :D I’d kinda suspected it to be him ever since the 1863rd round happened tbh so this feels great

I really enjoyed their fight, secretive plotter is insanely strong even with a time limit and was toying with joonghyuk, but joonghyuk never gave up and pulled out all his power to try and save dokja. in the end he was defeated but that was an amazing fight to see

sadly the group is without their beloved dokja again, not because he died this time but because he’s kidnapped 😔 man if it’s not one thing it’s something else, I feel so bad for them

-

and that is currently where I am! the most recent stuff I had read last night, just in time for me to see the webtoon adapt dkos death this morning. haha happy dkos death day 🎉🫡💥🎊🥲

I’m pondering a lot on the reveals in these chapters, some things still don’t feel fully answered to me so I’ll have more to say soon when I continue reading. VERY excited can’t wait to know more :D

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

2 3 17 for distracting ask game :33

Name something you want to read?

Um.

So many books, Julia. BUT if I had to go with a specific one… well, I would really like to find + read a good book about synesthesia!! I’ve been having a tricky time with that. And synesthesia is a topic I’d really really enjoy learning more about, so I hope I can find some good books soon!

And also perhaps The Seven Year Slip by Ashley Poston :) The premise sounds quite interesting (and it’s got a great color on the cover) but. it is also. a romance novel I think. And I am NOT A FAN OF ROMANCE NOVELS. So we shall see </3

5 songs you have been recently obsessed with?

OHHH YES. MUSIC QUESTION MUSIC QUESTION. HELLO!!

1. The Anthem of Mr Dark by The Arcadian Wild

I discovered this song very recently, and I was… very much stunned by how much it resonated with me. I don’t often relate to the songs that I listen to, but this one is. special :) The lyrics are all so beautiful & poignant, and there’s a deeply rooted sense of human in the song, I suppose. The ending with the overlapping voices is so so neat to me, and the CELLO (I think it’s a cello) ARE !!!!!!!

2. Liar by The Arcadian Wild

THIS SONG IS INSANE. THIS SONG IS INSANE. OKAYOKAY. Gosh I so very much enjoy songs that have plucked guitar strings that sound emotional and/or haunting. And GOSH!!! THIS SONG!!! LISTEN TOTHE GUIATARSHEGSJSGSJGDJG. The lyric, “in the light I swear I will… deny it all” just. hits me and sticks with me So Much for some reason. Dude and the 2:43 to 3:56 stretch is my Favorite part oh my gosh. The sudden switch from fairly calm instruments to things that are Loud and Heavy makes it ram itself all the more deeper into my heart. This is such a phenomenal song.

3. No Surprises cover by nani

I LIKE THIS MORE THAN THE ORIGINAL!!! I DO I DO I DO!!! And like. just from a guitarist’s perspective this song is amazing; the chords are beautiful, the finger-picking is lovely, the strums are so so nice, and the way she blends finger-picking and strumming into One Thing is something that I admire. Every time I hear this song I think to myself, “gosh I hope I can play like this someday.” And the EMOTION in her VOICE !!!!!!!

4. Wasted Summer cover by MaybeEh

To be perfectly honest I Don’t know why I became obsessed with this one. It’s not even a Real official song it is literally a cover someone made on GarageBand. And yet it is SO GOOD!!! ??? I cannot tell you the sheer amount of times I have listened to this song. I think it’s the chorus for me. Ough… that chorus. That amazing amazing chorus. The lyrics on the screen are incorrect by the way, so I never pay attention to them 😅

5. Hmm… probably tied between Waiting To Change by Kaden MacKay & Open Eyes by Jimmy Clifton. Waiting To Change is just a generally beautiful song; I first discovered it back when it first released, and I really liked it! But then I forgot about its existence lol. I rediscovered it a few weeks ago and have been listening to it so much since :) Open Eyes is <3333333333 I WANT TO LIVE & DANCE INSIDE THE 2:03 MARK I WANT TO LIVE & DANCE INSIDE OF IT

Tell us about your favorite character?

Julia I thought you’d never ask 😏😏😏😏

OKAYOKAY SO SOMETHING THAT I THINK ABOUT is that moment when Ghostbur is talking to Phil about ghosts; Ghostbur talked about how whenever he read about ghosts, the ghosts always seemed to be able to do things that he can’t do. Walk through walls, for example, and float in the air. And Ghostbur stated that he can’t do those things, and that it was frustrating to not find any ghosts, fictional or real, that were like him.

And I don’t know man. I think about that a lot. In so many aspects Ghostbur behaved just like a normal, alive being would; he walked, he ate food. He couldn’t teleport or float in the air. He couldn’t walk through things, he couldn’t disappear (another thing I think about is how, especially during Ghostbur’s first few weeks of existing, he drank invisibility potions all the time. He always had some on hand, he was always brewing them, and he frequently drank them. It was like he was trying to make up for the fact that he couldn’t turn invisible on his own. He was just trying to be what he thought a ghost should be 😭)

AND I THINK ABOUT THIS!!! Really the only truly “ghostly” aspects about Ghostbur were his name, the greyish color of his skin, and his voice (ANOTHER NEAT THING!!! Ghostbur could alter the way his voice sounded!! Most of the time he chose to sound like a normal human being, but other times he’d make it have an echo or a reverb. It’s such a neat little thing that he can do!!) and also the fact that he can die over and over again and always come back. Ghostbur canonically died three times, and for two of those times he came right back. The only time he truly died—and never came back—was when Dream used the revival book on him.

Ghostbur was truly. doomed. Everywhere he went he was misunderstood. He couldn’t be like the ghosts he read stories about, he couldn’t be the man who’d lived before him, he couldn’t be the dad Fundy needed, he couldn’t be the son Phil wanted. Even when Ghostbur told people that he was being misunderstood, even when he told people that he wasn’t Wilbur, even when he told people that he didn’t want to be called by Wilbur’s name, he was rarely listened to. He was often brushed off or looked down upon.

Canon should’ve been kinder to Ghostbur and he should’ve been treated better & understood better by the people he interacted with, and it just makes me upset. There’s not much respite to be found in the fandom either; many people misunderstand Ghostbur in the same ways that the other characters in DSMP did.

It really genuinely upsets me a lot because Ghostbur is such a good character! He has so many layers, he’s so complex, he’s so much more than what he looks like on the surface, he’s so much deeper than anyone gives him credit for. And hardly anyone seems to know that :(

In short, he is such a complicated little guy and I will defend him until the world ends he is so very special & important to me <3

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Bye Bye Yesterday (Assasination Classroom)

We laughed and we fretted/Over silly things, nonsensical things/Once the final bell rings out/The fun times will be over, too

"AUGH. KOROSENSEI.this song fucks me up the most of any song in the world. every single time i listen to it i cry. the good times have to come to an end, all the fun memories will stay with us, tucked in our bags, but we have to say goodbye. it’s over."

Waving Through A Window (Dear Evan Hansen)

On the outside, always looking in/Will I ever be more than I've always been?/'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass/I'm waving through a window/I try to speak, but nobody can hear/So I wait around for an answer to appear/While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass/I'm waving through a window, oh

"OUGH. THE ENTIRE SONG JUST MAKES ME M E L T. I KNOW EVERY WORD BECAUSE OF HOW BEAUTIFUL BUT SAD IT IS. poor evan just wants to be seen. he wants to be heard. he doesn’t want to be left alone in the dark anymore. but because of his anxiety he can’t reach out to people. AND REALLY SAD THING I DIDN’T NOTICE UNTIL IT WAS POINTED OUT WAS THAT CONNOR WAVED AT EVAN DURING THE SONG BUT EVAN DIDN’T NOTICE SO HE RAN OFF IN FRUSTRATION OUGH WHY??? and the KEY CHANGE. FUCKS ME UP SO BAD. because before it it’s singing “If you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around, do you ever really crash or even make a sound?” which is one: sad because it’s about feeling unseen in need and two (spoiler): IT’S HOW EVAN TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF. he let go after climbing a tall tree in the park he worked at, but he broke his arm instead of dying. and then just before the key change evan asks “Did I ever make a sound?” and it’s silent for a moment before the key change. OUGH. BEAUTIFUL. MAKES ME WANT TO CRY. YOU CANNOT REPLACE BEN PLATT’S BEAUTIFUL VOCALS, WITH THE AMAZING INSTRUMENTAL AND THE CHOIR SINGING IN THE BACKGROUND. SO BEAUTIFUL, SO CATHARTIC, MAKES ME WANT TO BAWL MY EYES OUT EVERY TIME."

Poll Runner: This musical RUINS my mental state every time I listen to it, and this is the song that really digs into Evan's character and what the story is actually about. Feeling invisible, unable to help yourself climb out if the dark mental hole you've dug. Just the lyrics alone... never mind there's those gorgeous harmonies in the chorus repeat that feels like life is spiralling around you... it's fine.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

who says you're not getting an ask? because I'm giving you one right now!

anyway, I'm curious about Burn Fast, Burn Bright. not anything specific really, just surprise me ig. I love that fic of yours a whole lot as I'm sure I've stated to you before.

CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?? TY!!! fic in question, which is OLD as HELL and I got second hand embarrassment from all the things I could’ve done better MAN. here are my thoughts before we get into it;

- this was the second fic I’d written for stanuary, and one of the longer fics I’ve written Ever actually. 15k words. I don’t know how I was able to produce so many words for these events ngl I hope I can redo that this year ANYWAY. first impressions? shallow angst. I think that’s what this is gonna be TO ME, because I’m the author and I hate myself. this was written almost a year ago… ough

- the descriptions will be Okay, but could be Better. I think I’ve gotten better at those hopefully.

- I was writing a lot of 80s angst during this time period and this was the second in that bunch. loose ties and ends, that one kid from jersey, unfortunate ends, like?? I was on a roll. what was wrong with me (still wrong with me)

- the gnomes are here? damn. I like gnomes

- oh that summary. already fucking me up

- I’m going in with the mindset that even at the time I knew that there was improvement to be had. This is my growing. I’m STILL growing. we can do this. I was still trying to find my groove. NOW LETS GOOOOOO

He’s left the damned duffel bag.

The one thing he had to take, and he’s left it behind. Stan has nothing to curse but his own self, because how is he so stupid as to not notice for a whole day? He’d spent the whole day driving through Oregon, hopping from gas station to gas station and it’s only now, the next morning, that he realizes there are no extra clothes to change into?

already onto a great start /genuine. an earlier draft had this to be a Lot more aggressive—using exclamation points and harsher language and shit, but once I realized that it would be a little odd that we start so strong, I toned it down. I think it gives a bit more of ‘resonate despondence’, which is very (sometimes) stan

Ford had always been bad at explaining things. He always expected the listener to know exactly what he’s talking about, be at his exact intelligence level, so that his ‘explaining’ could be understood with just a few words. 100% of the time, that isn’t the case.

literally me. best but of ford characterization someone could have conjured fr

okay already a detour but did you guys know I read my fics in my head in a VERY SPECIFIC tone, and that’s why most of the italicizations and em dashes exist? that’s why they’re there because if someone doesn’t read it the way I do I slowly die inside /silly I still do it today and I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t have to do everything for my reader. I should trust them.

(Yeah, Stan wants to let his anger out, but he’s not gonna kill the guy. Ford looks fragile enough as it is, and if he fights any harder he’ll probably break his leg or a rib. No point in damaging him, really.)

yes that’s so nice stan. you’re such a good brother dude oh my GOD IM—

this whole ford pleading scene here. here’s some bits;

“It…” Ford inhales deeply. “It’s not forever. I just need it away.”

“I don’t—Stan, I don’t want you to sail away to the ends of the Earth.”

“This—this, right here, I can’t do it.” Ford gestures to the portal wildly, giving it a scowl that could give Stan a run for his money. He almost thinks it’s directed at him, since he stands in front of the machine’s eye. “I can’t fix this!”

oh I’m feeling the feelings what the fuck. I can hear the last dialogue SO WELL. I remember vividly rewatching atots like four times just to listen to the fight and I’m still not desensitized. like the way ford delivers such a genuinely misguided request and seeing nothing wrong with how it might be worded which ALSO being on the verge of snapping? yeah ford I’ll give you a pass you’re going through shit. I’m so glad it still reads!!!

“I’m already too far gone, Stanley, an-and I can’t think of anyone else, anyone who would want to help.”

ohhhhhi can hear this too. it’s a Hint you know. it’s supposed to tip you off; something is REALLY wrong….

okay I’m restraining myself from pasting this entire ford exchange but it’s so GOOD. I’m flattering myself. And I didn’t even take that long on it I remember I wrote most of chapter one in a single burst. everything you see? barely edited. all put on at once. threw up on a page. I was feeling things

Ford sets the Journal aside. He, aside from the glaring obvious, does not look shaken up. “Yes, I know. Never… see me again.”

He sounds bitter. Almost too bitter for his liking. It’s almost contagious, from how it seems to roll off him and outwardly.

“You…” Stan has to phrase this kindly. “You know I don’t want that, right?”

Ford doesn’t relax. Instead, his gaze only darkens. “I know.”

i remember crying. I was tearing UP. that’s them. that’s something I would say if I were stan. make sure they know that I don’t want that. I…!!!!

Stan wonders what Stan will say.

one of the few bits I was smiling for when writing this��.

So he should be here.

I forgot the name for this literary device even though I started using it religiously after this BUT YEAHHHHHHHH GET OUR FEELINGS BABE

not gonna paste it but what ford(‘s body) is hiding by. I’m gonna be honest despite watching atots so much I forgot where the portal opened. like dead ass, so I made it up. the bookshelf is supposed to be the portal. I think the fic ‘by the skin of your teeth’ was still severely affecting me and that was the portal in that fic. this is what you get when you don’t check your references. it literally happened to me yesterday! I was finishing up chapter six of do you remember hanging up the stars and it was about aziraphale and crowley on the ark back in 3000 bc right. I forgot what the ark looked like other than a Single Memory so I bullshitted it. I then remembered I had a Resource, Checked, and it was. well I completely forgot about where the humans would’ve gone. lol

I can’t paste it all bc it’s like the whole fic but Stan’s DENIAL. the way he’s sooooo deep in it that it’s a physical jarring when he’s ripped out of it. he’s literally such a denial grieved it’s SICK and I can’t believe I wrote it so easily. Ahem. that says things I think whether good or bad is up to your interpretation

some of these dialogues are weirdly cut off. I think Stan’s a lot more of a run on sentencer. hm

okay now I’m getting into the secondhand embarrassment that would probably be extreme heartbreak had into created this. I think at this point I was very emotionally worn down; not just from writing but Life too. there’s not much to say. it just Exists

oh that fucking letter. fucking letters. I love ford letters you know that they’re so delectable especially when he’s allowed to make them long. this WHOLE THING. wow. and the way he OPENS IT. classic ‘we don’t have much time’ action type beat *writes a two paged letter*. also the crossing out things. I’m a fucking genius. augh

I don’t know if you would like to stay in Gravity Falls after this, but I would like you to do two things, the two things I could not.

UHM EXCUSE ME YOU REALLY THINK SO?? LIKE GENUINELY??? woah buddy. anyways this hurts me because I know he’s being genuine about this he DOESNT know if Stan would like to stay. he doesn’t know. HE DOESNT KNOW—

Unless there is an afterlife, this is Stanford Pines, your brother, signing off.

(Thank you, Stan. For everything.)

THAT. THAT? I was kicking my little evil feet oh I WAS. I was thinking ‘what could I do in character that could REALLY fuck you up?’ and I landed there. I loved it so much I literally used the thank you ploy again for a recent whumptober entry and it STILL HIT FOR ME. like. ford and thank yous. always painful 🥹

Two: After all this?

Stan isn’t planning to last a week.

see look it’s funny because. because the summary is about stan always following through with his plans. it was a parallel. he went through with a plan and it resulted in ford fucking off the face of the earth. so now he’s got a new one. new mission, new plan, new end. I loved thatshit…..

He didn’t expect for the pawn off to be so violent.

I had a very different opening here; it was something with bill watching everything before unfold and THEN cut to ford going through with the plan? but then I decided ‘hey wait a sec we never see stan LEAVE after that little flashback. how did that leaving go?’ and now we’re here. damn I even had an alt opening

now that we know ford’s suicide is inevitable (and that we’re in his head) I start slathering that foreshadowing everywhere….

“Okay. Okay, I’ll go. But I’m comin’ back, ya hear me? I’m not leavin’ you again.”

it’s giving crowley saying ‘I’m coming back, I won’t leave you alone’. hehehe

It does untangle, after a few seconds of frantic pulling and Ford’s shouting beforehand.

Stan doesn’t have the decency to apologize. He flaps his palm as if he got burned. “Yeesh. Your hair’s a mess.”

look it’s funny because. because. well you know. hair untangling. corpse

“And get some fucking sleep! You look half-dead!”

There it is.

yeahhhhhhh I was just being mean. stan babygirl he’s already going to do it. don’t add insult to injury

It was time to enact Plan A. If Plan A didn’t work (which it had to. He didn’t even have a Plan B) then it’d be time to panic.

the original title for this fic (like the FIRST ONE. not when I turned this into a two parter) was called ‘Plan B’, because 1) plan A indeed does not work and plan b is suicide, and 2) B for Bill. :)

But knowing Stanley, he’d find a way to show just how pissed off he was at Ford even if he was in the afterlife.

:) x2. still proud of this

When Fiddleford first learned of the gnomes, he was more than disturbed. Almost spooked. Ford had insisted that as long as you had bug spray and mushrooms, they would be manageable. Sadly, Fiddleford had thought mushrooms ‘takin’ care of the problem’ would be in warding them away, that mushrooms were a repellant of some kind.

FIDDLEFORD MY BELOVED!!!! I love writing beats like this I still do. it’s just so nice to take random hcs and put them in the most tense and matter of fact situations just to distract us a little. make us look away, but not entirely. ough

He wants to shake on it.

it’s the little traumas that break our hearts.

okayyyyyy I’ll be honest ford leaving the portal for someone else to kill it is Very ooc. I’ll admit that. but I need my Scenario!!!!! I don’t regret it. just know that I acknowledge it. *cries*

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the ‘method’. oh ‘the method’. fucking kills me. he debated ont his. rationally. RATIONALLY I WAS LITERALLY THAT ONE MEME THATS SCREAMING AT MY CHARACTERS TO STOP BUT IM THE ONE WHOS PUTTING THEM THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE—

ough. the bullet points. okay I’m running out of commentary steam but let me say this. I asked for hcs on my blog right? so I could put some of those here because even I run out of hcs eventually, and people DELIVERED. I loved them. I put every single one in at least One point, and seeing these tiny memories just spring up at he’s doing this is like that thing with the fiddleford/mushrooms bit. he’s distracting himself. making th situation less scary in his eyes. OUGH

OH AND THE PILLS NOT BEING FORD’S BUT STAN’S? ONE OF MY KAST ALTERATIONS BUT SOOOOOOO WORTH IT. NO NOTES JUST ULTIMATE ANGST

Ford had considered being a doctor for some time while in elementary school. It was a given, considering his intelligence and avid nature towards sciences. His love for the supernatural always gave in however, and it has won every battle. But for a long time after, a part of him wanted to be a chemist, a manufacturer, a creator. Sure, it soon became a pipe dream, but for a while it was a genuine choice.

But Ford is an experimenter. He realized early on that he wouldn’t be able to resist pouring the components and chemicals on his skin, if only to see how they would react to human flesh.

motherfucker.that guy is literally me

btw these spaces after the em dashes are killing my soul. I remember once that I thought everyone else was wrong with no spaces and I was right. Oh, past me. No.

How could you not love someone like that?

God, he’s never going to see him again.

*SNIFF*

4.5 million humans in the world. 230 million humans in America. 7 million in New Jersey. 2 million in Oregon. Around sixty or seventy species of anomalies in Gravity Falls alone. And that doesn’t even account past Earth, if Crash Site Omega was accounted for.

I had to look all that shit up I don’t even know if it’s right. at first it’d been modern day stats but THEN I remembered that we’re in the fucking 1980s so ofc it’s different. ALSO LOOOK I FUCKED UP IT SAYS MILLION NOT BILLIONS. IM GONNA DIE. FUCK. either way we stay silly we stay silly!!! just know that little paragraph has caused me so much grief.

Ford always hated funerals.

this was the beginning of the ‘we hate funerals’ saga. still do hate them. I hate them, ford hates them, crowley hates them, ALL OF THE HOMIES HATE THEM 🫵🫵 /j

Mania is a feeling he knows well, and this is not that.

lmao name drop *i was on the verge of tears*

It’s Ford, the snow, and his candle, which has no more wax to burn.

THE TITLE THE TITLE THE TITLE—

the spacing. the html gave me sooooo much trouble but it was worth it!!!! every space was deliberated and checked and shit. ough. OUGH

okayyyy im capping it here because I’m so so tired. but!!! here it is. I just. wow. Less yet more corny than I thought this would be. I hope you enjoyed that little roller coaster, and I’m off on Life Adventures. Which means Errands. fuck…..

[babacontainsmultitudes]

hello!!! hope you are well!!!!! asking all the dndads folks this .. what are your hopes / predictions for next episode

Hi you!!! Hope you’re doing well too :]

Hopes and predictions huh? Hmmm…

Haven’t put too much thought into the realm of actual predictions for this one, truthfully! I’m *hoping* it’ll be a pretty Linc-centric episode (well, Linc and Grant!), which feels reasonable enough to expect?

Very excited for whatever Matt is gonna bring to the table more generally, really. Aside from Lincoln just being the bestest fucking boy, I think Matt more than all the other players (granted Beth excels here as well) just does a phenomenal job at remembering the core themes of the show (“Family!!!” I scream from the rooftops, “This is a show about family!”) and accordingly pays a lot of attention not just to the arc of his own character but to that of Grant as well (and of course all the intricate ways in which the two are intertwined)- a fact that I think is obvious just by looking at how many of Matt’s dad and teen facts revolve around Grant actually! But that’s another post lol. But yeah, even in last week’s teen talk he stated:

“I’m sure Scary won’t be happy with Grant but like, I think, the thing I’m more concerned [with] is obviously Grant- is gonna be how Grant feels about himself. Him screaming “no” after he did it is like, that’s rough”

Which is just- ugh it’s everything to me. That to say, I’m really pumped for what’s to come on that front, since I have a lot of faith in Matt to steer things in a direction that is narratively satisfying for both Lincoln and Grant. Also, it’s such a small thing relative to all that’s going on but, I really do hope that Anthony remembers that Grant hasn’t heard Lincoln’s new voice yet lol, I don’t want that to go unaddressed! Ugh I almost wanna go and relisten to “The Staircase” just thinking about all of this- I’ve been waiting for Grant and Linc to confront each other for *SO LONGGG* hahaha. As a final note on Grant, cause if not I could go on forever, in the teen talk Anthony stated:

“(…) I’ve already had some thoughts as to what he [Willy] wrote onto Grant’s collar”

Which seems to imply that the kiddads don’t all have the same thing written on their collars, which is very interesting! Makes me wonder about Lark and Sparrow as well (<- this got me thinking: “what if Lark and Sparrow’s collars had things written on them that forced them to be apart from each other” or something to that effect OUGH that’d be so rad anyways anyways total tangent loool).

*Otherwise*, FUCK ANTHONY BETTER REMEMBER NICKY. Lmaooo he better parachute in at some point in this episode or else!!! I’d love to see him have to confront Terry’s death, I’d LOOOVE to see him confront/interact with Grant, and I really hope that his reactions to either of those things isn’t just “fuck this shit I’m out” and then he poofs away as he is one to do. Especially now that Anthony decided for convenience’ sake that Nicky can’t make portals anymore- at least keep that consistent lmao. If he *did* try to just dip though, my hope would be that Taylor steps in and actually confronts his dad about that trend of his. Because really, ever since Waterdeep when you think about it we’ve seen that Nick has this bad habit of running away from his problems rather than confronting them (granted his behavior is I think pretty understandable in a good chunk of those cases) and so… Well I guess now that Taylor has become more attached to his dad I would like to see him actually call Nicky out on those behaviors and how it affects him as his son and let his dad know that, well, he doesn’t want Nick to walk out of his life again, y’know?

Hopefully that makes some sense haha, didn’t mean for this ramble to be so long! But yeah, I guess those are the main things running through my head atm (I’ve also been thinking about Scary and Terry and how all that shit is gonna play out ofc, but nothing concrete to say on the matter as it stands).

:3 Wbu???

[mochiwrites]

you YOU!!! YOU.... strangling you THATS what the 3rd life screenshot was about...

OUGH I KNEW MARTYN WAS GOING TO TELL THE REST OF SOUTHLANDS hng something is gonna happen with them it's basically shouting at me Martyn MARTYN ough he doesn't know ANYTHING ough

and the creeper.... AHH!! none of us left the desert, we will never recover (this applies to llau!Grian too because he's crying out there damn you actually did stab all of them this chapter)

“He isn’t around anymore.” “Oh…” I'm able to draw me pouring water on your head now btw I did not need this breakdown today

anyways Looovee your work<333 this one was SO GOOD I'm gonna reread it because I need to consume this whole thing and check to see if I've missed anything<3

-🎵(sorry this is probably incomprehensible my thoughts are just screaming instead of words right now)

how I feel rn:

which :3 tehe

that was INDEED what the 3rd life screen shot was :3 no context ch11 spoilers :D

god I. I need to publicly state how much I wanted to take martyn and throw him into the WALL GOD. WRITING HIS POV WAS SO HARD. but yessss the southlanders :D I’m happy I was finally able to write them in, I know a lot of people were curious about their side of things and stuff <3

none of us left the desert!!!! fun fact; the creeper scene was what I was the Most nervous about. mainly because I was worried people would like. Get annoyed that I made scar’s death too similar to third life?? but everyone seems to be crying about it instead so I assume no one is bothered in a /neg way DBDBFHFGFG

no one was safe this chapter :3

and AAAAAAA YEAH THAT PART,,, I wanted to make that wound care scene so much more tender than how it came out but the struggle with that is grian and scar’s characters aren’t ready for that yet. they’re not there emotionally yet, so that level of tenderness can’t exist yet until they let themselves be fully vulnerable with one another </3

I have. A lot of thoughts about this chapter oh man ;-;;; this was definitely a Big one for sure. big big emotional chapter dkfkfkkf alSO NO NOT THE WATER ON ME D:

but ueueueue thankie!! 🥺 I had a lot of fun writing this one (you can tell by all the metaphors LOL) and I’m very excited about what comes next :3

[quietwingsinthesky]

You've combined both Lucifer being pregnant and Michifer and that sounded an alarm for me to come running 🫡

So sorry I'm late, I'm here to discuss our angsty duo and their pregnancy shenanigans

I have come to offer: late stage apolcaypse period rendezvous where Michael is the one that gets pregnant and only realizes after the end and he's killed Lucifer

Oh, oh, can I make this more angsty?? Because you know Michael after killing Lucifer is. Not in his best state of mind, to put it lightly. (I know the only canon reference point we have for this is AU!Michael who is like. A gleeful little villain guy who brags about enjoying tearing Lucifer to shreds. But idk man, sounds like revisionist history from an angel who can’t handle looking directly at the fact that he killed his little brother with his own two hands to me.)

Anyway, my point is, what if Michael finds out he’s carrying Lucifer’s kid. Lucifer’s blood fresh on his hands. More alone in the world than he’s ever been. God didn’t return. The world is on fire. Heaven is full of angels questioning where paradise is. And here’s Michael, with the last little bit of Lucifer he has left.

And you know, what if Michael, in his grief, goes, “What if I could try again? What if I had the chance to raise Lucifer again and do it right this time? This time, he won’t be corrupted, and I won’t have to hurt him because he’ll be perfect.” And so when the baby is born, Michael names it Lucifer and starts acting like it’s his baby brother.

(Raphael just watching on in horror as this happens. There’s nothing they can do about it. Michael is unstable and the most powerful being in the universe now, and not even Lucifer stood a chance when he was alive. So Michael puts baby new Lucifer in Raphael’s arms, and all Raphael can do is dedicate themselves to the same goal as Michael. If this baby must grow up to be Lucifer’s replacement, then they can’t Eve turn on Michael like the old one did. Because who knows how much worse Michael will get if he loses Lucifer a second time.)

There’s a part of Michael that has to know it isn’t really Lucifer, but the baby angel looks so much like his little brother. They have the same grace (some of its Michael’s own, but he tries not to look at that) and they’re as good as he knows Lucifer to be. So, he just pretends and pretends until he can make himself believe it. And eventually, he starts mixing up his memories of his baby and his brother.

(Ough, imagining little baby Lucifer escaping Heaven one day, coming across where the original Lucifer died, sitting on the ground between the burnt out wings and tracing the outlines of the feathers. Michael in Heaven panicking because his baby brother is gone. And I think Raphael should be the one to find them down there, immediately scoop baby Lucifer up and tell them, never ask about that, never come here again, don’t ever tell Michael you know about this.)

[sakumasmut]

oughddhhf so i've thought about this a bunch but pregnant himeru is such a concept. like like like imagine just how deep in the moment he's got to be to forget about protection, just how much of a whore he let himself be when you're fucking him and how much he loves your dick for him to let you knock him up, to fill him up with semen and breed him so good. of course when he found out he was pregnant he had somewhat of a hard time, what with the pretending to be his brother thing but it just feels so good to know he's carrying your child so he's gonna try and hide it until he can't. and you remind him of it every single night by fucking him in front of the mirror, telling him just how big of a slut he is that he let you use him as a cumdump, commenting on all the ways his body is changing further into the pregnancy, how much he wants you to breed him again even though he's already carrying your child. it really gets to his head, so much that he really wants to do nothing but get dicked down once he has to go into hiding when he gets too visibly pregnant. just imagine him pushing you down and riding you for the nth time in the day, his swollen belly bouncing along with his heavy tits as he jumps up and down on your cock, crying out so loud and begging you to come inside again, to put another baby in him. imagine drinking his milk while you tell him how he's nothing more than broodmare now, how he's never gonna be able to live without being pregnant anymore, and he moans so sweetly and begs you again and again to fill him up with children. thoroughly dumbed down. it's like he was meant for this i swear i'm normal about him <3

nonnie this is sooo. ough. what a thought. I think the fact it’s himeru makes it all the better because reducing him to such a state where he can’t deny your comments on being a whore bc of his round belly will break him so badly. making him look at himself in a mirror while you grope his body, nothing about it flat anymore due to the changes and telling him you’ll put another one in him soon…I’m losing my mind this is such a good ramble.

[phantom-does-a-thing]

oh my god phantom its worse than i thought.

rolan sucks at communication. rand needs to talk things through. rolan wants to fix things and reach out but he doesnt have the words! he tries and tries but he cant figure out what to say and he ends up frustrating himself, he knows that maybe if he told rand why he left, told him how he feels, told him his intentions, and apologised, maybe it'd fix things but he cant. and rand... he's so hurt he reached a point where he himself doesnt want to talk. and rolan's silence makes it worse. makes rand think the wrong things, makes him assume the wrong reasons, and they are stuck in this spiral of miscommunication and hurting and ough

Rand needs things just as explicitly stated as rolan does, only rolan doesn’t know how to communicate his thoughts into words. Speaking has never been his strong suit, it’s a miracle that he’s a lawyer when he’s so bad at speaking (but it’s different then, he can put on a costume and pretend to be a functioning person). He’d rather let his actions show what he means but… Rand overthinks everything rolan does. He needs words to understand and neither of them are good at talking to each other. Rolan never called in those ten years that they were gone because rolan couldn’t imagine what he would even say and as the time went on, he had less and less of an ability to explain himself. And I think… I think Rand would understand if rolan just SAID that he had trouble communicating instead of just… having trouble with it.

And if rolan isn’t going to talk? Rand isn’t either. He’s angry and bitter and hostile and he’s not gonna be the bigger person. If rolan doesn’t want to man up and talk about it? He’s not gonna either. He’s so angry and he’s just past that breaking point that he doesn’t want to talk. So rolan stays quiet, and that makes it worse. Because there will be nights in which they lay in separate rooms and the tension and anger is palpable. They never talk about these things until things fester and break and they yell and argue.

So they just fester and argue and never talk about their problems until they break. And they can’t get past that because rolan doesn’t know how to talk and rand needs to talk

[lcec0ldheart]

Random OC stuff of the day #2: What if the trio was in pokémon horizons?

I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t been feeling too good over the past day and I’m hella tired. I got ideas but i dont feel like writing them djdjddj so have something i cooked on priv

Sorry for the twitter jumpscare lmao but yeah. Explorers AU. At first I was like “found family for Violet and Amethio finally has someone his age to be around🎉” i kinda want to write a fic about that lol at some point but now I’m thinking about how hellish it would be to be Spinel’s subordinate if you’re not named Frankie (great oc btw she’s a cool oc by gem-in-the-horizon), especially since he’s so young and traumatized already. I’d imagine Spinel would have a fun time breaking him.

We saw what he did to Liko, without showing any remorse, now if he had complete power over this 15 year old kid that’s working for him? I think he’d be even worse. Spinel likes messing with people because he’s curious and its entertaining. Spinel’s a smart cunning guy who doesn’t care and that’s kind of terrifying

I may draw my ocs in pokémon soonish, although Frost did originate frm a pokemon rp anyways lol

(TW: Mind manipulation, memory erasure, also generally a guy taking advantage of a kid and mentally grooming him, this was hard for me to write too)

It starts relatively mild, at first.

Comments about how he’s been failing lately, how he’s looking more tired, how he’s not been enough. It hurts, of course, but Frost’s been through it before

Then Spinel starts testing with him.

Putting him in situations to see how a kid would cope with it. Making him do things that are completely against who Frost is. Molding him into something he’s not.

Eventually, Spinel begins to use his Beeheeyem, sometimes hovering over Frost, watching his every move, altering his memories, state of mind, what he thinks about, hell even trying to change who he is, trying to make him into Spinel’s sidekick. His toy. His tool.

It starts working. It took a while to, Spinel doesn’t mind playing the long game, and it’s more entertaining for him anyways, seeing it all drawn out. It was mild, at first, just forgetting where he was before the explorers, having some difficulty recalling what he was into before them, then it became forgetting people before the explorers, and he starts forgetting about his life before he was forced under Spinel entirely. There’s some people he can vaguely remember that stick for some reason, like this kid he met when he was 5 with those bright purple eyes, but other than that, he doesn’t know. He can’t remember.

~~~

Why should I leave? There’s no where else for me to go to. The explorers have always been my home. I’m meant to serve here. I’m destined to, it’s my very purpose, i am here to serve Master Spinel.

That is what I’m good for, and so, I’ll do whatever he desires. If master wants it, I want it. I will do whatever it takes. If I die, oh well, at least I served him well. But that would make me worthless, because I’m here to be his most valuable tool, and I can’t do that if I’m broken.

I’m happy here. This is my home -this is where I am from, and this is where I’ll stay. I am his -and I always will be, because I am Master Spinel’s most valuable possesion. That is what I am. I’m Spinel’s gem -and that’s all I will be. I’m happy with this.

Right?

~~~ OUGH THAT GOT DARK JESUS CHRIST I AM SO SORRY. This is why you dont let me on tumblr past 9 pm-

Anyways uh, if you managed to not be scared off by that, hope you have a good day, i am sorry this was short ive just been tired and today was kinda sucky so. see you tomorrow I guess

[cor-aeterna]

books I’ve read in 2023 + any thoughts as I have them (as of 9/17/23)

Fiction

Greywaren, Maggie Stiefvater

Transcendent Kingdom,Yaa Gyasi 

Ms. Gyasi PERFECTLY capturing the feeling of Being Divorced from christianity yet still having a longing for Something left in you

Young Mungo, Douglas Stewart

OUGH.  books that eviscerate you!!! (warning for molesting of a minor and period typical homophobia) 

The Mountain In the Sea, Ray Nayler

what if octopuses had Had Enough and started stabbing mfs. what then.

The Book of Etta, Meg Elison

The Female of the Species, Mindy McGinnis 

An Excess Male, Maggie Shen King 

Truckers, Terry Pratchett

Diggers, Terry Pratchett

Wings, Terry Pratchett

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century, Kim Fu

Sci Fi

The Scar, China Mieville

Perdido Street Station, China Mieville 

Iron Council, China Mieville

Kraken, China Mieville

Railsea, China Mieville 

Embassytown, China Mieville 

DELICIOUS. MWAH. CHEF KISS. my inner linguist is beside themselves with joy over this book 

Bable-17, Samuel R. Delaney

a language with no concept of the self and how it rewire ur entire brain!!! mr delaney your mind

The Invasion, Katherine Applegate

yes I’m finally reading animorphs as an adult and it slaps!! i would’ve fuckin LOVED these as a kid, I’m sad I didn’t discover them 15 years ago

also. WHEW Ms. Applegate does NOT fuck around!! murder and body horror right off the bat 

The Visitor, Katherine Applegate

The Encounter, Katherine Applegate

The Predator, Katherine Applegate

The Message, Katherine Applegate

The Capture, Katherine Applegate

The Stranger, Katherine Applegate

The Andalite’s Gift, Katherine Applegate

The Alien, Katherine Applegate

The Secret, Katherine Applegate

The Android, Katherine Applegate

The Forgotten, Katherine Applegate

The Beauty, Aliya Whiteley

Peace, Pipe, Aliya Whitely 

Axiom’s End, Lindsay Ellis

Truth of the Divine, Lindsay Ellis

All Systems Red, Martha Wells

reading murderbot diaries for the second time this year and and the hatred of corporations rlly hits :/

Artificial Condition, Martha Wells

Network Effect, Martha Wells

Rogue Protocol, Martha Wells

Exit Strategy, Martha Wells

Fugitive Telemetry, Martha Wells

This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

DELICIOUS. MUST READ

Autonomous, Annalee Newitz

The Terraformers, Annalee Newitz

Klara and the Sun, Kazuo Ishiguro 

Translation State, Ann Leckie

Horror

Garden of Earthly Bodies, Sally Oliver

Winter Tide, Ruthanna Emrys 

The Vegetarian, Han Kang

The Death of Jane Lawrence, Caitlin Starling

On Sundays, She Picked Flowers, Yah Yah Scholfield 

delicious DELICIOUS prose, omg!!!  this is their first novel and it’s already SO GOOD, can’t wait to read more of faer writing in the future!!!! 

Leech, Hiron Ennes

Slewfoot: A Tale of Bewitchery, Brom

Between Two Fires, Christopher Buehlman

This Census-Taker, China Mieville

The Route of Ice and Salt, José Luis Zárate 

Fantasy

Sunshine, Robin Mckinley

Deeplight, Frances Hardinge 

The Empress of Salt and Fortune, Nghi Vo

When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain, Nghi Vo

Into the Riverlands, Nghi Vo

A Deadly Education, Naomi Novik

The Last Graduate, Naomi Novik 

The Golden Enclaves, Naomi Novik 

Spinning Silver, Naomi Novik

Uprooted, Naomi Novik 

A Marvelous Light, Freya Marske

Melusine, Sarah Monette

this series gives me ALL the fucked up interpersonal relationships!!! yes gd

The Virtu, Sarah Monette

The Mirador, Sarah Monette

Corambis, Sarah Monette

A Companion to Wolves, Sarah Monette and Elizabeth Bear

The Wolf and the Woodsman, Ava Reid 

When the Angels Left the Old Country, Sacha Lamb 

what if a demon and angel who are Torah study besties schlepped all the way to Ellis Island to find a missing girl from their shtetl? and are also truly hopelessly forever devoted forever to each other (iykyk)

Babel: An Arcane History, R.F. Kuang

Lost Boy: The True Story of Captain Hook, Christina Henry

How to Train Your Dragon, Cressida Cowell 

a mostly charming kid’s story, if markedly different from the movie (which personally I think is a better story and much more compelling).  Also in the book the dragons are fully sentient and TALK, yet the vikings still catch and “train” them as a rite of passage! ms cowell I have some Questions 

Terciel and Elinor, Garth Hix

The Buried Giant, Kazuo Ishiguro

Nonfiction

Becoming Jewish, Rabbi Steven Reuben and Jennifer Hanin

 very beginner friendly, presents info in bite size chunks organized by topic.  good jumping off point into further study, with further reading reccommendations in the back!  

however, it doesn’t acknowledge the Nakba and displacement/murder of Palestinians when discussing the state of Israel, and paints Palestinians as a monolith that have all unanimously “rejected overtures of peace” from Israel. :/ 

Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life - In Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There), Sarah Hurwitz

this book lit a spark of joy and excitement and longing in me! made me excited to one day choose a name to go with bat Avraham v’Sarah 

Choosing a Jewish Life, Revised and Updated: A Handbook for People Converting to Judaism and for Their Family and Friends, Anita Diamant 

SO much information, yet presented in a welcoming and very newbie friendly way <3 organized by topic which is helpful!

Living a Jewish Life, Anita Diamant and Howard Cooper

excellent handbook on traditions, holidays, prayers, life cycle rituals, kashrut, and pretty much everything you need!  Mrs Diamant im blowing you a kiss <3

Pageboy, Elliot Page

Graphic Novels

As the Crow Flies, Melanie Gillman 

all of Melanie’s work is so precious and beloved to me, but this one!! WHEW. as a closeted child raised in evangelical christianity, and I remember how miserable it felt praying to a gd that (I thought) was either ignoring me or couldn’t hear my voice at all 

Spill Zone, Scott Westerfeld and Puvillan 

Batter Royale, Leisl Adams

Are You Listening, Tillie Walden

Trigun, Yasuhiro Nightow

little guy!!

Trigun Maximum, Yasuhiro Nightow

and then The Horrors 

Mob Psycho 100, ONE

adventures of my beloved Son, his friends, and his cringefail boss

Himawari House, Harmony Becker

Long Way Down: The Graphic Novel, Jason Reynolds

Flamer, Mike Curato 

Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands, Kate Beaton